the_dude
+7 -0
the suspense is terrible!
i hope it lasts...
the suspense is terrible!
i hope it lasts...
whiteturtle
+13 -0
whiteturtle
+11 -0
come to think of it, that might be something like a commodore right there.
come to think of it, that might be something like a commodore right there.
chuvak
+1 -0
yeah, something about the chocolate tube...
yeah, something about the chocolate tube...
captainsemtex
+0 -0
%u201CA little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men%u201D
%u201CA little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men%u201D
rowboat
+0 -0
From the desk of Assetbar,
Quote:
From the desk of Assetbar,
Quote:
One sentence? You had to cut and paste one lousy sentence?
For shame.
For shame.
asinineuser
+0 -0
Google and Urbandictionary yield nothing for all variations of "commodore"
The creative license here, she hurts
Google and Urbandictionary yield nothing for all variations of "commodore"
The creative license here, she hurts
spinynorman
+13 -1
You'd think Vlad would know.
There is woman. In room. In cell. She is beautiful. In many places, she is beautiful. Hidden places, yes, hidden to her but known of you, yes. You enter with garbage bag of rose petals, finest rose petals, and bottle of Palmolive. She protests, yes, but her heart, it is not, in it. You take her protests and banish them with single throw of rose petals. She produces bottle of lotion from folds of bed sheets, and turns to present herself to you so that you may begin the love of acting with all of creation laid out before you like so much bread at dinner.
Anyways, I'm writing this at work and I'm already turnin' kinda pink just from writing it, sooooooooooooooooo yeah. I'm gonna call it quits.
You'd think Vlad would know.
There is woman. In room. In cell. She is beautiful. In many places, she is beautiful. Hidden places, yes, hidden to her but known of you, yes. You enter with garbage bag of rose petals, finest rose petals, and bottle of Palmolive. She protests, yes, but her heart, it is not, in it. You take her protests and banish them with single throw of rose petals. She produces bottle of lotion from folds of bed sheets, and turns to present herself to you so that you may begin the love of acting with all of creation laid out before you like so much bread at dinner.
Anyways, I'm writing this at work and I'm already turnin' kinda pink just from writing it, sooooooooooooooooo yeah. I'm gonna call it quits.
echidnaboy
+5 -0
Dammit Spiny don't stop there I was so close I was so close
Dammit Spiny don't stop there I was so close I was so close
speccer
+5 -0
Amazing iconatar-comment synchronization.
Amazing iconatar-comment synchronization.
speccer
+0 -0
Note where the hands are
Note where the hands are
spinynorman
+0 -0
oh man now it's really explicit
oh man now it's really explicit
echidnaboy
+3 -0
How's this for explicit?
The fact that I've posted this twice probably says a lot about me
How's this for explicit?
The fact that I've posted this twice probably says a lot about me
daidai
+0 -0
I have a really funny...but nasty picture making fun of furries that I saw once on google. But posting it would make me a worse person.
I have a really funny...but nasty picture making fun of furries that I saw once on google. But posting it would make me a worse person.
tekende
+0 -0
If it doesn't contain the word "fag" it's probably okay.
If it doesn't contain the word "fag" it's probably okay.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Don't! Seriously, Don't!
Don't! Seriously, Don't!
spinynorman
+0 -0
Unless you're at work.
Unless you're at work.
tekende
+0 -0
I think we've already crossed that line with that picture of the naked lady up near the top of the page.
I think we've already crossed that line with that picture of the naked lady up near the top of the page.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Y... Yeah.
Man, you know there's probably gonna be dicks or something in the next Achewood. Damn it all...
Y... Yeah.
Man, you know there's probably gonna be dicks or something in the next Achewood. Damn it all...
stereo
+0 -0
That seems like quite an oversimplification, tekende.
That seems like quite an oversimplification, tekende.
davey-boy
+2 -0
Jesus Christ. Go ahead and say fag. Hell, call me a cocksucker. You don't even have to be ironic about it, just spare me this again.
Jesus Christ. Go ahead and say fag. Hell, call me a cocksucker. You don't even have to be ironic about it, just spare me this again.
tekende
+0 -0
Apparently it was too soon to joke about the issue.
Apparently it was too soon to joke about the issue.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Well, for me, it just seemed a little bit too "salt in the wound". You sort of won the little 'skirmish' between you and Loneal on the last strip, and it just seemed like a victory lap around someone who has already quit the game.
It's not really an issue, we've all always been allowed to say fag, and no one is saying it should be outlawed. Just some are saying to be more considerate. It's up to you whether you want to take their opinions as reasonable or not, but it just seems unnecessary to further kick the horse that has already shuffled away. Might not have been your intention, but that is what I interpreted it as, at least.
Well, for me, it just seemed a little bit too "salt in the wound". You sort of won the little 'skirmish' between you and Loneal on the last strip, and it just seemed like a victory lap around someone who has already quit the game.
It's not really an issue, we've all always been allowed to say fag, and no one is saying it should be outlawed. Just some are saying to be more considerate. It's up to you whether you want to take their opinions as reasonable or not, but it just seems unnecessary to further kick the horse that has already shuffled away. Might not have been your intention, but that is what I interpreted it as, at least.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm not getting into this again.
I'm not getting into this again.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Excellent! It just seemed like you might've been raring to do so in that first post. No big deal, brahseph.
Excellent! It just seemed like you might've been raring to do so in that first post. No big deal, brahseph.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LIL JON'S A FAGGGGGGGG.
LIL JON'S A FAGGGGGGGG.
davey-boy
+0 -0
No kidding.
No kidding.
whiteturtle
+2 -0
C-C-C
C-C-C
whiteturtle
+2 -0
COMBO BREAKER
COMBO BREAKER
c_dizzle
+0 -0
i need to dust off my n64 and play me some killer instinct, now.
i need to dust off my n64 and play me some killer instinct, now.
eatmorekix
+5 -2
eatmorekix
+0 -0
oops, that says "we'll win the battle for equal rights- no matter how long it takes"
oops, that says "we'll win the battle for equal rights- no matter how long it takes"
achilleselbow
+5 -0
Equal rights? I didn't realize that any anti-furry legislation existed, though this picture does make me want to enact some.
Equal rights? I didn't realize that any anti-furry legislation existed, though this picture does make me want to enact some.
stereo
+0 -0
The kitsunes declared foxes to be an inferior species, and the battle began.
The kitsunes declared foxes to be an inferior species, and the battle began.
plummet
+0 -0
FUCK
FFFFUUUUCK
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU-
FUCK
FFFFUUUUCK
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU-
mercuri0us
+0 -0
That would be a great logo for an organisation called something like United National Front
That would be a great logo for an organisation called something like United National Front
whiteturtle
+3 -0
It is his way
It is his way
kickstart
+0 -0
I accidentally hovered over the alt-text before reading the strip, and thought Commodore was a computer reference. I am the saddest girlie alive.
I accidentally hovered over the alt-text before reading the strip, and thought Commodore was a computer reference. I am the saddest girlie alive.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Please do not wallow in your dissapointment immediately. This is Onstad. This could be some kind of Commodore 64 reference.
Though if it has anything to with overly large, antiquated equipment that takes over half an hour to load, then Ray's in for some trouble.
Please do not wallow in your dissapointment immediately. This is Onstad. This could be some kind of Commodore 64 reference.
Though if it has anything to with overly large, antiquated equipment that takes over half an hour to load, then Ray's in for some trouble.
cowsfeelchicken
+1 -0
I'm thinking something along the lines of the figure skating event in 'winter games,' where the object, in order to perform various maneuvers, was to grasp the joystick and spin it around rapidly, thus spinning your on-screen skater correspondingly.
Y'know, for kids!
I'm thinking something along the lines of the figure skating event in 'winter games,' where the object, in order to perform various maneuvers, was to grasp the joystick and spin it around rapidly, thus spinning your on-screen skater correspondingly.
Y'know, for kids!
trapperjohn
+0 -0
As intrigued as I am, one can't help but wonder whether this is Onstad's test of seeing how high he can place an Achewood search on Google Trends.
As intrigued as I am, one can't help but wonder whether this is Onstad's test of seeing how high he can place an Achewood search on Google Trends.
clever-nickname
+0 -0
I wonder if it will top "McCain's Left Eye."
I wonder if it will top "McCain's Left Eye."
dangelder
+2 -0
The top ten Google results for 'commodore porn' are all Achewooded. No, seriously. The power of Achewood has brought down the top commodore porn servers.
The top ten Google results for 'commodore porn' are all Achewooded. No, seriously. The power of Achewood has brought down the top commodore porn servers.
sje46
+0 -0
I . .. I knew someone was going to make this his avatar.
I . .. I knew someone was going to make this his avatar.
ikrizzle
+1 -0
"Commodore sex act" still isn't in Google Trends, let's change that
"Commodore sex act" still isn't in Google Trends, let's change that
ikrizzle
+1 -0
alas, beaten by mere seconds
alas, beaten by mere seconds
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Some things that are currently on Google Trends?
"askjeves.com"
"palin witchcraft"
"real doll"
and
10 out of a hundred searches referencing "The Office."
This is a world I love living in!
Some things that are currently on Google Trends?
"askjeves.com"
"palin witchcraft"
"real doll"
and
10 out of a hundred searches referencing "The Office."
This is a world I love living in!
perilon
+0 -0
Let's not forget "cold stone creamery" (hotness: spicy) coming in at number 10!
Apparently, for three precious hours this evening, Cold Stone Creamery will be giving away free 3 oz. servings of ice cream at all their locations.
Let's not forget "cold stone creamery" (hotness: spicy) coming in at number 10!
Apparently, for three precious hours this evening, Cold Stone Creamery will be giving away free 3 oz. servings of ice cream at all their locations.
speccer
+15 -0
How pathetic do you have to be to search google for a different search engine? They don't even spell the name right! And askjeves.com redirects you correctly anyway! What the fuck is going on?!
I don't understand this so much it makes me angry!
How pathetic do you have to be to search google for a different search engine? They don't even spell the name right! And askjeves.com redirects you correctly anyway! What the fuck is going on?!
I don't understand this so much it makes me angry!
achilleselbow
+8 -0
I would like some fritatta.
I would like some fritatta.
pravda
+0 -0
I forgot about this. Thank you so much for referencing it. I really should print that strip out as a flier and put it everywhere I will ever go in my life. There is never a time when "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FRITATTA?" will not make me laugh. Also I should tattoo the alt text onto my shin and just point to it when necessary. Regardless, you're a swell kid achilleselbow. You stay gold.
I forgot about this. Thank you so much for referencing it. I really should print that strip out as a flier and put it everywhere I will ever go in my life. There is never a time when "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FRITATTA?" will not make me laugh. Also I should tattoo the alt text onto my shin and just point to it when necessary. Regardless, you're a swell kid achilleselbow. You stay gold.
daidai
+0 -0
UGH FUCK
you made me think of the outsiders.
UGH FUCK
you made me think of the outsiders.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Gee, thanks, mister!
Gee, thanks, mister!
pogo
+0 -0
Acutally, some people still google Google.
Acutally, some people still google Google.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Very true. My old roommate did it not but 4 months ago...shortly after she had become a PhD.
Very true. My old roommate did it not but 4 months ago...shortly after she had become a PhD.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
"Google Trends" is actually surprisingly high on the Google Trends list.
"Google Trends" is actually surprisingly high on the Google Trends list.
stereo
+1 -0
It's not that surprising... the Google search is so efficient it's faster than actually navigating to most things.
It's not that surprising... the Google search is so efficient it's faster than actually navigating to most things.
deadpool
+2 -0
I think Teodor's face in panel 9 is one of the most complex expressions I've ever seen on a stuffed animal represented in black and white on an Internet web comic.
I think Teodor's face in panel 9 is one of the most complex expressions I've ever seen on a stuffed animal represented in black and white on an Internet web comic.
breastman
+0 -0
The Award for the "Most Complex Expressions I've Ever Seen on a Stuffed Animal Represented in Black and White on an Internet Web Comic" goes to Chris Onstad.
The Award for the "Most Complex Expressions I've Ever Seen on a Stuffed Animal Represented in Black and White on an Internet Web Comic" goes to Chris Onstad.
deadpool
+4 -0
You know I was almost hoping that someone would link me to a past comic and make me feel like an Ass Man.
You know I was almost hoping that someone would link me to a past comic and make me feel like an Ass Man.
whiteturtle
+6 -0
"make me feel like an Ass Man" is perhaps the most loaded phrase I have ever had the pleasure to post a comment to. God bless you sir.
*ahem*
getting a "post" to your "comment" might be a good way to feel like an ass man
"make me feel like an Ass Man" is perhaps the most loaded phrase I have ever had the pleasure to post a comment to. God bless you sir.
*ahem*
getting a "post" to your "comment" might be a good way to feel like an ass man
deadpool
+1 -1
I hate how you get chubbies, but I barely get anything. I'm really jealous.
I hate how you get chubbies, but I barely get anything. I'm really jealous.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
aw
aw
pogo
+0 -0
Sympathy chub.
Sympathy chub.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
I think it's the first time I've seen him with a mouth. Did he have one before now?
I think it's the first time I've seen him with a mouth. Did he have one before now?
implode
+0 -0
Oh, most decidedly so!
Oh, most decidedly so!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Cthulhu phtagn! Cthulhu phtagn!
Cthulhu phtagn! Cthulhu phtagn!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
And who can forget this one?
And who can forget this one?
lechatbotte
+1 -0
(Thank you, Assetbar, for correctly formatting my link.)
(Thank you, Assetbar, for correctly formatting my link.)
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Wow, I'm kind of glad I won't see that mouth again. Yikes.
Wow, I'm kind of glad I won't see that mouth again. Yikes.
pravda
+3 -0
Ray is fortunate to get some "commodore" action. Anything more extreme would bump it up to the "rear admiral" level. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
Ray is fortunate to get some "commodore" action. Anything more extreme would bump it up to the "rear admiral" level. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
pravda
+9 -0
I do not know what that means. Please don't tell anyone. Oh god, I'm such a fraud.
I do not know what that means. Please don't tell anyone. Oh god, I'm such a fraud.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
whatever it means, it does not sound like a good time.
whatever it means, it does not sound like a good time.
nickcourage
+28 -0
my google search yielded a summary of a commodore 64 game entitled Chikn Chase. If this is what Tina's referring to, it's probably the least kinky sexy imaginable: "The plot of the game is quite simple: You are the only rooster in the henhouse, and you need to keep the business running - you do that by reproducing. The sex act is done by entering the cute little house through the front door. You don't get to see the sex act, but you get a jolly tune instead, which signifies that the sex act is taking place. Each time a sex act is successfully accomplished, a small heart shows in top of the screen, symbolizing that you have impregnated the chick, who shortly after will come out, go up the ladder and lay an egg in one of the small nests. If you feel like you are an insane stud, then you can do the chick several times in a row, by which you will hear the jolly tune several times and see more hearts appear in the top of the screen. The chick will then lay as many eggs as hearts appear on screen."
i'm not going to post the link because this is my first time posting and assetbar will probably make me look like an idiot.
my google search yielded a summary of a commodore 64 game entitled Chikn Chase. If this is what Tina's referring to, it's probably the least kinky sexy imaginable: "The plot of the game is quite simple: You are the only rooster in the henhouse, and you need to keep the business running - you do that by reproducing. The sex act is done by entering the cute little house through the front door. You don't get to see the sex act, but you get a jolly tune instead, which signifies that the sex act is taking place. Each time a sex act is successfully accomplished, a small heart shows in top of the screen, symbolizing that you have impregnated the chick, who shortly after will come out, go up the ladder and lay an egg in one of the small nests. If you feel like you are an insane stud, then you can do the chick several times in a row, by which you will hear the jolly tune several times and see more hearts appear in the top of the screen. The chick will then lay as many eggs as hearts appear on screen."
i'm not going to post the link because this is my first time posting and assetbar will probably make me look like an idiot.
pravda
+2 -0
Welcome to assetbar, here is a chubby. HOW COURAGEOUS OF YOU TO POST NICK. I hope you like bad puns because that is the only thing I put up here.
Welcome to assetbar, here is a chubby. HOW COURAGEOUS OF YOU TO POST NICK. I hope you like bad puns because that is the only thing I put up here.
ladyface
+1 -0
I found this little site here:
https://www.lemon64.com/index.php?mainurl=https%3A//www.lemon64.com/misc/main.php
(I'm not even going to try to make that I link. It's my first post, and I, too, have seen what assetbar has done to people.) Anyway, it seems to be a site where they specialize in making C64 games for hip modern computers, and you'll note that No. 2 on the list is a sex game. It's quite silly really, but seems appropriate given the positions listed in the strip.
I found this little site here:
https://www.lemon64.com/index.php?mainurl=https%3A//www.lemon64.com/misc/main.php
(I'm not even going to try to make that I link. It's my first post, and I, too, have seen what assetbar has done to people.) Anyway, it seems to be a site where they specialize in making C64 games for hip modern computers, and you'll note that No. 2 on the list is a sex game. It's quite silly really, but seems appropriate given the positions listed in the strip.
speccer
+0 -0
Provided for convenience is the link nickcourage was talking about. Also the link ladyface referred to. BBCode likes these links, although there's a slight chance Assetbar does not approve of one or more characters in the URLs.
Provided for convenience is the link nickcourage was talking about. Also the link ladyface referred to. BBCode likes these links, although there's a slight chance Assetbar does not approve of one or more characters in the URLs.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is it just me or does Chikn Chase look ridiculously fun, if for only 25 minutes?
Is it just me or does Chikn Chase look ridiculously fun, if for only 25 minutes?
hamscout
+0 -0
My childhood friends down the street had Sex Games.
They played with an atari joystick.
I remember we got to the final screen, but I don't know if we, uh, beat it.
My childhood friends down the street had Sex Games.
They played with an atari joystick.
I remember we got to the final screen, but I don't know if we, uh, beat it.
pogo
+0 -0
cue Michael Just beat it, beat it, blah blah blah and cut to Wierd Al eat it.
cue Michael Just beat it, beat it, blah blah blah and cut to Wierd Al eat it.
brinkmanship
+0 -0
Says the cat furiously yelling at the chicken. Yelling at it till it dies.
OH, you brought your KID! Is he Mixed FUCKIN' race?
Says the cat furiously yelling at the chicken. Yelling at it till it dies.
OH, you brought your KID! Is he Mixed FUCKIN' race?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
My aviconitard has nothing to do with my taste in old school video games. Unless there was a game where you had to yell at a chicken.
My aviconitard has nothing to do with my taste in old school video games. Unless there was a game where you had to yell at a chicken.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
So, Larry went down to the brothel and begged.
He was near broke, but he had to get laid.
Would a hundro bucks get him some kinda "boom"?
They showed him on back to the white chicken room.
(To him this just looked like a game badly played.)
In shock, he inquired what they had to say,
If in fact that fat chicken was worth all that pay?
Indeed, they informed him, worth that and more,
He only need catch her, it won't make him sore,
But give him full use, and a worthy good day!
So chase her he did, as she ran all afright!
And catch her he did, she was proper and tight.
And then to his never ending surprise,
To this ever so odd of a thing did he rise.
He held her and fucked her with all of his might.
When done and all spent, he was quite satisfied.
"If I'd said a chicken could do that, I'd lied.
"But now that I've done it, I honestly say
"That big, fat white chicken can def'nitly lay!"
And on home he went, well glad that he'd tried.
One week had passed, his urges in bloom
To the brothel he went with his thoughts on that room.
"Can I do it again?" was the question in mind
"Yes, in while, but while waiting you'll find
"A fairly good show here to brighten your gloom."
He went where they sent him, a room with a view
Of lesbians "lez'ing" and moans not a few!
And to his delight, this great show was all free,
Though others were here who had paid just to see
Through that window a room that some how he knew.
"The show, it is great!" he said with a wink.
"It is," said a man, "but I honestly think.
"That last week's was better, you've got to believe
"A man fucking a chicken, you'd never conceive!"
And getting it rudely, Larry's hopes all did sink!
So, Larry went down to the brothel and begged.
He was near broke, but he had to get laid.
Would a hundro bucks get him some kinda "boom"?
They showed him on back to the white chicken room.
(To him this just looked like a game badly played.)
In shock, he inquired what they had to say,
If in fact that fat chicken was worth all that pay?
Indeed, they informed him, worth that and more,
He only need catch her, it won't make him sore,
But give him full use, and a worthy good day!
So chase her he did, as she ran all afright!
And catch her he did, she was proper and tight.
And then to his never ending surprise,
To this ever so odd of a thing did he rise.
He held her and fucked her with all of his might.
When done and all spent, he was quite satisfied.
"If I'd said a chicken could do that, I'd lied.
"But now that I've done it, I honestly say
"That big, fat white chicken can def'nitly lay!"
And on home he went, well glad that he'd tried.
One week had passed, his urges in bloom
To the brothel he went with his thoughts on that room.
"Can I do it again?" was the question in mind
"Yes, in while, but while waiting you'll find
"A fairly good show here to brighten your gloom."
He went where they sent him, a room with a view
Of lesbians "lez'ing" and moans not a few!
And to his delight, this great show was all free,
Though others were here who had paid just to see
Through that window a room that some how he knew.
"The show, it is great!" he said with a wink.
"It is," said a man, "but I honestly think.
"That last week's was better, you've got to believe
"A man fucking a chicken, you'd never conceive!"
And getting it rudely, Larry's hopes all did sink!
falseprophet
+0 -0
The gentleman came to realize that he had paid for the experience of fucking a chicken only to learn that he was also providing several other men a show that he was not only compensated for but would ruin his social standing as well.
The gentleman came to realize that he had paid for the experience of fucking a chicken only to learn that he was also providing several other men a show that he was not only compensated for but would ruin his social standing as well.
falseprophet
+0 -0
*uncompensated for
*uncompensated for
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Right, if the word "gentleman" can be stretched this far.
(I chose to name him "Larry" in homage of the Leisure-suit Larry games. I could totally see him doing a chicken!)
Right, if the word "gentleman" can be stretched this far.
(I chose to name him "Larry" in homage of the Leisure-suit Larry games. I could totally see him doing a chicken!)
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
:)
:)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Bring honor to the Nick name. SOLIDARITY BROTHER.
Bring honor to the Nick name. SOLIDARITY BROTHER.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That is totally NOT how bird reproduction works!
That is totally NOT how bird reproduction works!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
If their heart rocketed out of the top of their head after every successful impregnation, it would indeed be a somewhat double-edged sword.
If their heart rocketed out of the top of their head after every successful impregnation, it would indeed be a somewhat double-edged sword.
belgand
+3 -0
I think we all are smart enough to know that it is not a literal heart, but merely a symbol to properly indicate the chicken's orgasm.
It was once important for me to watch video of rats having sex and trying to properly identify when they achieved orgasm. This was so that I could compare the video to ones made of rats having lesbian sex, but without tiny rat strap-ons. This was all for serious science and done in an upper-level university course. Needless to say, but icons indicating orgasm would have been very helpful.
I think we all are smart enough to know that it is not a literal heart, but merely a symbol to properly indicate the chicken's orgasm.
It was once important for me to watch video of rats having sex and trying to properly identify when they achieved orgasm. This was so that I could compare the video to ones made of rats having lesbian sex, but without tiny rat strap-ons. This was all for serious science and done in an upper-level university course. Needless to say, but icons indicating orgasm would have been very helpful.
tekende
+0 -0
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing
irondave
+0 -0
I found that fascinating, no joke.
I found that fascinating, no joke.
stereo
+0 -0
Is that still under a NDA or can you... share the results with us?
Is that still under a NDA or can you... share the results with us?
belgand
+1 -0
It was never under NDA as it was for demonstration purposes. Essentially female rats exposed to high levels of testosterone pre-natally would exhibit sexual behavior as if they were males and would attempt to mount the females in a sexual context. This was being compared to the biological conditions in humans that result in transgender individuals and how these are often the result of physiological factors that can clearly be demonstrated. It is not just an issue of looking at your junk and accepting your physical sex as your gender identity. This is wired deep into the brain by biology. It was indeed fascinating.
It was never under NDA as it was for demonstration purposes. Essentially female rats exposed to high levels of testosterone pre-natally would exhibit sexual behavior as if they were males and would attempt to mount the females in a sexual context. This was being compared to the biological conditions in humans that result in transgender individuals and how these are often the result of physiological factors that can clearly be demonstrated. It is not just an issue of looking at your junk and accepting your physical sex as your gender identity. This is wired deep into the brain by biology. It was indeed fascinating.
mrwombat
+2 -0
The thing to remember about making links (and ebay jokes) is that Assetbar does not appreciate the symbol for making numbers friends.
I've said too much.
The thing to remember about making links (and ebay jokes) is that Assetbar does not appreciate the symbol for making numbers friends.
I've said too much.
fireking
+9 -0
Ray's minutes have to be hell of going up right about now.
Then again he has the Breast Man Plan from Alltel which lets him get back at his ex-girlfriend for free.
Ray's minutes have to be hell of going up right about now.
Then again he has the Breast Man Plan from Alltel which lets him get back at his ex-girlfriend for free.
belgand
+0 -0
They changed their rate structure again. That is now only an option for the individuals who have gone over and through and ended up as Hole Men.
They changed their rate structure again. That is now only an option for the individuals who have gone over and through and ended up as Hole Men.
maximus
+0 -0
Where's Mr. Teal when you need him?
Where's Mr. Teal when you need him?
whiteturtle
+3 -0
he's waiting in the bathroom with nothing but a towel on.
he's waiting in the bathroom with nothing but a towel on.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
And some complimentary Pantene.
And some complimentary Pantene.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Should he start playing mario brothers?
Should he start playing mario brothers?
belgand
+3 -0
I strongly suspect that Tina is aware of the ruse and is intentionally setting them both up with a novel sex act. This is all going according to plan.
It is not polite to double-team a lady over the phone.
I strongly suspect that Tina is aware of the ruse and is intentionally setting them both up with a novel sex act. This is all going according to plan.
It is not polite to double-team a lady over the phone.
whiteturtle
+2 -0
That would be the most obvious end to the scenario, I think. I hope it doesn't end that way. That is the sitcom way out.
That would be the most obvious end to the scenario, I think. I hope it doesn't end that way. That is the sitcom way out.
tommythebrat
+0 -0
What wouldn't be the sitcom way out?
What wouldn't be the sitcom way out?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
That is a good point.
This is a comical situation.
I just think it would be out of character for Tina and for Achewood in general to have her be the one who knows what is up, it seems obvious. I just always have hated the "a-HA, now it is you who is the one who is in trouble" school of comedy. It is the easiest irony to accomplish and the hardest to do well.
That is a good point.
This is a comical situation.
I just think it would be out of character for Tina and for Achewood in general to have her be the one who knows what is up, it seems obvious. I just always have hated the "a-HA, now it is you who is the one who is in trouble" school of comedy. It is the easiest irony to accomplish and the hardest to do well.
tommythebrat
+0 -0
Hey, not all of the story arcs can end with sometihng like "You left a man to die".
Hey, not all of the story arcs can end with sometihng like "You left a man to die".
maximus
+0 -0
Onstad will tweak it just like he did with Connie and the Shrovis
Onstad will tweak it just like he did with Connie and the Shrovis
nice-on-water
+1 -0
You give Tina too much credit in the sense department.
You give Tina too much credit in the sense department.
hamscout
+0 -0
I don't know if it's sense as much as experience...
These two phone fumbling beard bunglers got no sense of Tina's phone sex chops.
I don't know if it's sense as much as experience...
These two phone fumbling beard bunglers got no sense of Tina's phone sex chops.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You might have something there. I would love to see Tina get her comeuppance, but a sneaky trick would be nice too.
You might have something there. I would love to see Tina get her comeuppance, but a sneaky trick would be nice too.
daidai
+0 -0
I think Ray is the one about to get a comeuppance. Or should I say comeupass ?
Am I wrong?
AM I WRONG?
I think Ray is the one about to get a comeuppance. Or should I say comeupass ?
Am I wrong?
AM I WRONG?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
ONLY GOD AND TINA AND ONSTAD KNOW.
ONLY GOD AND TINA AND ONSTAD KNOW.
farqussus
+0 -0
Tune in next week, SAME CAT TIME, SAME CAT CHANNEL
Tune in next week, SAME CAT TIME, SAME CAT CHANNEL
mattylite
+0 -0
AND ONLY ONE OF THEM IS REAL
(IT IS NOT THE ONE YOU THINK)
AND ONLY ONE OF THEM IS REAL
(IT IS NOT THE ONE YOU THINK)
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Maybe you are not wrong but GOD IT SOUNDS SO WRONG
Maybe you are not wrong but GOD IT SOUNDS SO WRONG
onepapertiger
+0 -0
I am tempted to complete the reference here. I must stuff it. I must stuff it down
I am tempted to complete the reference here. I must stuff it. I must stuff it down
redphillip
+0 -0
Are you huffing Elmer's there, boy? Maybe if you stopped abusing water-soluble white sticky goo you could get some sleep!
[Geezer shuffles back into cave...]
Are you huffing Elmer's there, boy? Maybe if you stopped abusing water-soluble white sticky goo you could get some sleep!
[Geezer shuffles back into cave...]
ham_shoes
+0 -0
I think so. Maybe she's going to knock him unconscious with a Commodore 64 while playing a Commodores record and then steal his wallet.
I think so. Maybe she's going to knock him unconscious with a Commodore 64 while playing a Commodores record and then steal his wallet.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
No, Walter, you're not wrong.
You're just an asshole.
No, Walter, you're not wrong.
You're just an asshole.
belgand
+4 -0
There is some delicious wordplay going on here as well. Tina was engaged in phone sex and now the cat and the bear are engaged in a different sort of phone sex altogether with the lady cat. The tables have turned somewhat to put them back where the began in another way.
I cannot believe I just discovered this. It is most excellent.
There is some delicious wordplay going on here as well. Tina was engaged in phone sex and now the cat and the bear are engaged in a different sort of phone sex altogether with the lady cat. The tables have turned somewhat to put them back where the began in another way.
I cannot believe I just discovered this. It is most excellent.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That is an impressive structuralist reading.
That is an impressive structuralist reading.
tellumo
+0 -0
(The ghost of Roland Barthes begins a book on this arc, calling it T/R)
(The ghost of Roland Barthes begins a book on this arc, calling it T/R)
falseprophet
+1 -0
In literary terms, the Tina phone sex would be foreshadowing .
In comedy terms, the subsequent return of the phone sex concept would be a callback .
But at the end of the day, rejoice that the world is beneath the brightest of all possible suns.
In literary terms, the Tina phone sex would be foreshadowing .
In comedy terms, the subsequent return of the phone sex concept would be a callback .
But at the end of the day, rejoice that the world is beneath the brightest of all possible suns.
brinkmanship
+5 -0
Indeed, the circularity of the situation would truly be complete if Tina got Ray all in position on the bed on all fours (like the nice boy he is), then dropped her pencil in ostentatious frustration and went out for a sandwich.
While Teodor is left blindly cajoling more and more deviant sex acts out of the absent hussy, while Ray weeps on all fours (nice boy that he is).
Indeed, the circularity of the situation would truly be complete if Tina got Ray all in position on the bed on all fours (like the nice boy he is), then dropped her pencil in ostentatious frustration and went out for a sandwich.
While Teodor is left blindly cajoling more and more deviant sex acts out of the absent hussy, while Ray weeps on all fours (nice boy that he is).
tommythebrat
+0 -0
I bet Tina recognises Teodor's voice from the phone sex lines. He blatantly loves to talk dirty.
I bet Tina recognises Teodor's voice from the phone sex lines. He blatantly loves to talk dirty.
sje46
+0 -0
Voice donut, though.
Voice donut, though.
pogo
+0 -0
But every star is a setting sun, according to Wilco.
But every star is a setting sun, according to Wilco.
brinkmanship
+0 -0
Through the telecommunications side-hatch.
Through the telecommunications side-hatch.
hamscout
+0 -0
...with the oils and perfumes, and incense.
...with the oils and perfumes, and incense.
awksedperl
+0 -0
"It is not polite to double-team a lady over the phone."
That's no lady, that's, er, uh, Tina. This is why I am not Henny Youngman. Yeah, yeah, I know that Youngman's tag line was "Take my wife...please!", but can't a man just make a damn Henny Youngman joke once in his life? Stop looking at me like that, Pogo.
"It is not polite to double-team a lady over the phone."
That's no lady, that's, er, uh, Tina. This is why I am not Henny Youngman. Yeah, yeah, I know that Youngman's tag line was "Take my wife...please!", but can't a man just make a damn Henny Youngman joke once in his life? Stop looking at me like that, Pogo.
zebra
+0 -0
My first serious relationship ended after, having grown complacent (and yes, I will admit it, bored) in the relationship, I asked for a commodore.
She didn't yell. She didn't slap me. She just left.
My first serious relationship ended after, having grown complacent (and yes, I will admit it, bored) in the relationship, I asked for a commodore.
She didn't yell. She didn't slap me. She just left.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Your avicon is the cover of the album "You'd Prefer an Astronaut" by the band Hum. Why do I know this? Why do I know this? And how in god's name did I remember it?
Your avicon is the cover of the album "You'd Prefer an Astronaut" by the band Hum. Why do I know this? Why do I know this? And how in god's name did I remember it?
odei
+1 -0
Maybe because it is a fantastic album by a fantastic band?
Maybe because it is a fantastic album by a fantastic band?
belgand
+0 -0
Indeed. It was also the first thing I noticed.
I have a strong desire to listen to it now. I will not, however, as it is 5:23 AM and not an appropriate time for such actions. But soon. Soon.
Indeed. It was also the first thing I noticed.
I have a strong desire to listen to it now. I will not, however, as it is 5:23 AM and not an appropriate time for such actions. But soon. Soon.
zebra
+0 -0
Belgand is making excuses for not doing something good. Why is Belgand making excuses for not doing something good? He was too tired, he suggests.
Belgand has let us down. We will not forget.
Belgand is making excuses for not doing something good. Why is Belgand making excuses for not doing something good? He was too tired, he suggests.
Belgand has let us down. We will not forget.
belgand
+0 -0
Belgand is also making excuses for not embarking down a path that will almost assuredly result in him getting cock-punched by his sleeping girlfriend. When she is no longer asleep that is. If such actions occurred while she was asleep that would be a concern to us all as it could happen without warning to any of us.
Belgand is also making excuses for not embarking down a path that will almost assuredly result in him getting cock-punched by his sleeping girlfriend. When she is no longer asleep that is. If such actions occurred while she was asleep that would be a concern to us all as it could happen without warning to any of us.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yet another Ambien related crime. (I miss Loneal.)
Yet another Ambien related crime. (I miss Loneal.)
autrepoupee
+1 -0
This is pegging, I have no doubt. Tina, you little devil!
This is pegging, I have no doubt. Tina, you little devil!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
also, Lionel Richie does it all night long
also, Lionel Richie does it all night long
tragicone
+3 -0
all night?
all night?
whiteturtle
+3 -0
all night long
all night long
hamscout
+0 -0
Hello? Is it me you're looking for?
Hello? Is it me you're looking for?
daidai
+0 -0
Nope.
Back to the Ham-Cave!
(that sounds dirty)
Nope.
Back to the Ham-Cave!
(that sounds dirty)
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Once...
Twice...
Tina's no lady...
Once...
Twice...
Tina's no lady...
dino_grill
+0 -0
seems like pegging to me.
another illustrative "WWRSD" moment
seems like pegging to me.
another illustrative "WWRSD" moment
tragicone
+0 -0
i have to say out the window.
its more scenic that way.
Thats the only way for the commodore.
and yes, i instantly googled it.
i have to say out the window.
its more scenic that way.
Thats the only way for the commodore.
and yes, i instantly googled it.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I instantly google "The Commodores" to see if I could make a hilarious first post using a reference to "Brick House".
It was impossible.
I instantly google "The Commodores" to see if I could make a hilarious first post using a reference to "Brick House".
It was impossible.
drskradley
+2 -0
Tina seems like a brick house. That lady's stacked, and that's a fact. She ain't holdin nothin back.
Tina seems like a brick house. That lady's stacked, and that's a fact. She ain't holdin nothin back.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Ray's about to get a curious sensation in his Brick Shithouse?
Ray's about to get a curious sensation in his Brick Shithouse?
zebra
+0 -0
The problem, of course, is the off chance that someone will witness you being commodore'd.
This is not a thing you want.
The problem, of course, is the off chance that someone will witness you being commodore'd.
This is not a thing you want.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
tip your hat, and wink your eye
"good show, old bean! goose him good, lass, goose him but good!"
tip your hat, and wink your eye
"good show, old bean! goose him good, lass, goose him but good!"
ethelthefrog
+1 -0
Heheh. Goose him butt good.
Heheh. Goose him butt good.
tragicone
+0 -0
this is exactly the spirit of the commodore.
A professionals sexual act. And a right classy gent.
this is exactly the spirit of the commodore.
A professionals sexual act. And a right classy gent.
brinkmanship
+1 -0
A deep bow and a smart tug of the blinds have always served me well.
How I wish that was hyperbole
A deep bow and a smart tug of the blinds have always served me well.
How I wish that was hyperbole
tripleg
+0 -0
i had assumed, naturally, that to be one of it's attractive and saleable features
i had assumed, naturally, that to be one of it's attractive and saleable features
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I like that looking out the window is one of two possible variations. And that a crass lady such as Tina is the performer. Wait, no I don't like that. I don't like that at all.
I like that looking out the window is one of two possible variations. And that a crass lady such as Tina is the performer. Wait, no I don't like that. I don't like that at all.
possums
+11 -0
so fucked.
so fucked.
featurelessvoid
+4 -0
They're going to need a lot more lotion for that.
They're going to need a lot more lotion for that.
fineoakstructure
+4 -0
Alternately:
"We're gonna need a bigger butt."
I'm so sorry.
Alternately:
"We're gonna need a bigger butt."
I'm so sorry.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Of course Ray's fucked! Isn't that a WANG ?
Of course Ray's fucked! Isn't that a WANG ?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Considering the positioning I would assume that Ray's about to get a bit of a Rear Invader.
It's a Trap!
Considering the positioning I would assume that Ray's about to get a bit of a Rear Invader.
It's a Trap!
drskradley
+0 -0
An analogy comes to mind involving the ET game, where you descend into various holes in search of things, and extend your neck gratuitously in order to get out.
An analogy comes to mind involving the ET game, where you descend into various holes in search of things, and extend your neck gratuitously in order to get out.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Was that the Atari 2600 version, 'cause that version was all sorts of wrong.
Was that the Atari 2600 version, 'cause that version was all sorts of wrong.
drskradley
+0 -0
If it is the one that had to be used as landfill in New Mexico due to astronomically poor sales, then yes, that is the one I'm thinking of.
If it is the one that had to be used as landfill in New Mexico due to astronomically poor sales, then yes, that is the one I'm thinking of.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I am lucky enough to have a copy of that shitty shitty game. I'd like to make a plaque with that cartridge and a Super Martio Bros 3 on it for the worst and best games in the history of videogaming.
I am lucky enough to have a copy of that shitty shitty game. I'd like to make a plaque with that cartridge and a Super Martio Bros 3 on it for the worst and best games in the history of videogaming.
sje46
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DTjLG3usQo
Review for the E.T. game.
I heard that the Mooninites were based off it. Or there was a scrapped storyline that was similar, or something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DTjLG3usQo
Review for the E.T. game.
I heard that the Mooninites were based off it. Or there was a scrapped storyline that was similar, or something.
stereo
+0 -0
I wonder if Tina will recognize his (whisper) junk .
I wonder if Tina will recognize his (whisper) junk .
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Nah, he fashioned a beard for his junk as well.
Nah, he fashioned a beard for his junk as well.
perilon
+3 -0
Ray already owns a merkin.
Ray already owns a merkin.
deusoma
+0 -0
If they actually mention the merkin, it will be the greatest callback in the history of Man.
If they actually mention the merkin, it will be the greatest callback in the history of Man.
brinkmanship
+0 -0
He'll have to get T to call the merkin mike.
"Yo T, switch to gusset mode, man!
Lock S-foils in attack position, dogg!"
I'm so alone.
He'll have to get T to call the merkin mike.
"Yo T, switch to gusset mode, man!
Lock S-foils in attack position, dogg!"
I'm so alone.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Getting that level of consistency would make me frightened & delirious with loyalty.
Getting that level of consistency would make me frightened & delirious with loyalty.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
It will also be disgusting since it was an antique to begin with, and Teodor used it to soak egg soppin's from the skillet
It will also be disgusting since it was an antique to begin with, and Teodor used it to soak egg soppin's from the skillet
pidge
+0 -0
Perhaps he can borrow one from Cornelius. Because if anyone has one, that bear does.
Also, HELP! Assetbar is on the fritz. I can only leave one comment a day, and then I get a silly message that chides me and says "that's enough comments for today..." or some such nonsense. How do I get this fixed?
Perhaps he can borrow one from Cornelius. Because if anyone has one, that bear does.
Also, HELP! Assetbar is on the fritz. I can only leave one comment a day, and then I get a silly message that chides me and says "that's enough comments for today..." or some such nonsense. How do I get this fixed?
speccer
+0 -0
View more than 29 strips. I don't know the exact breakpoint, but I do know it's more than the 29 you have.
View more than 29 strips. I don't know the exact breakpoint, but I do know it's more than the 29 you have.
pogo
+0 -0
And rate them while you're at it, to score lames.
And rate them while you're at it, to score lames.
tad-
+0 -0
Ray is turning this mother up.
Ray is turning this mother up.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Out?
Out?
tad-
+0 -0
No he's going to turn her out in a few days.
No he's going to turn her out in a few days.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
So up then out. Is it anything like stuffing a turkey?
So up then out. Is it anything like stuffing a turkey?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Officer, this mother was about to commit sodomy.
I'm turning her in, up, and outta here!
Officer, this mother was about to commit sodomy.
I'm turning her in, up, and outta here!
whiteturtle
+0 -0
late night, autre?
not that it isn't appreciated.
because it is.
it is appreciated.
late night, autre?
not that it isn't appreciated.
because it is.
it is appreciated.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
it is always a late night. ;_(
it is always a late night. ;_(
whiteturtle
+0 -0
aw, well it is afternoon in Korea when it is a late night in the states, so I am always around.
aw, well it is afternoon in Korea when it is a late night in the states, so I am always around.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Chalk up another Acheism for Onstad and hold on to your hats. This might be the biggest thing since rude titties.
Chalk up another Acheism for Onstad and hold on to your hats. This might be the biggest thing since rude titties.
jetbunny
+0 -0
Or rad chilies.
Or rad chilies.
nice-on-water
+0 -1
I was going to say that but I felt rude titties resounds more to this day.
I was going to say that but I felt rude titties resounds more to this day.
brinkmanship
+0 -0
chilli melons
chilli melons
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Your titties are pretty rude. In a good way. Like they force their way into things and everyone acts mad but deep down inside they know their life is better for it.
Your titties are pretty rude. In a good way. Like they force their way into things and everyone acts mad but deep down inside they know their life is better for it.
bondijames
+2 -0
One thing is for sure, if a commodore is what we suspect, he's gonna be HELLA YELLIN' ABOUT THE SEX!
One thing is for sure, if a commodore is what we suspect, he's gonna be HELLA YELLIN' ABOUT THE SEX!
ethelthefrog
+2 -0
If it's what we suspect, I think he'll more likely be whimpering about it. In a corner, in the fetal position.
If it's what we suspect, I think he'll more likely be whimpering about it. In a corner, in the fetal position.
qingofchina
+0 -0
David Letterman's Will It Fit?
David Letterman's Will It Fit?
gladi8orrex
+3 -1
iimaguine dis ib u will
i know eerything
no purpose can u bring
u tells me sumfink new?
i doubt it cuz i know it
every little ting--erry bit
ders nuffink i dunno an das true
u can tries 2 outsmart me
ha, i laugh at ur futility
u can struggle 2 gib me insite
but n deh end ill no it still
as ib id taken a knowledge pill
cuz i hab access 2 da google website
i ratter lik dis pome omine ib i do saizso maselb
iimaguine dis ib u will
i know eerything
no purpose can u bring
u tells me sumfink new?
i doubt it cuz i know it
every little ting--erry bit
ders nuffink i dunno an das true
u can tries 2 outsmart me
ha, i laugh at ur futility
u can struggle 2 gib me insite
but n deh end ill no it still
as ib id taken a knowledge pill
cuz i hab access 2 da google website
i ratter lik dis pome omine ib i do saizso maselb
perilon
+0 -0
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request:
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request:
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!
sje46
+0 -0
Burns?
Burns?
whiteturtle
+3 -0
whiteturtle
+2 -0
sje46
+0 -0
Well, is it.
REmind me to Google it.
Well, is it.
REmind me to Google it.
sje46
+0 -0
It is. I thought so.
In my English Lit book, Senior year, To a Mouse and To a Louse were on opposite pages. There was also an annoyingly conservative kid with the last name Kraus. So I crossed out "Mouse" in the title, so it said "To a Shawn Kraus".
It was the only time I vandalized a book, and I am quite ashamed.
It is. I thought so.
In my English Lit book, Senior year, To a Mouse and To a Louse were on opposite pages. There was also an annoyingly conservative kid with the last name Kraus. So I crossed out "Mouse" in the title, so it said "To a Shawn Kraus".
It was the only time I vandalized a book, and I am quite ashamed.
perilon
+0 -0
During high school, I wrote "PIG" in pen across the massed closed-book page-edges of every school textbook I could find. It was my, "calling-card." Then my friends started doing it too. I did not feel bad; the books were already decrepit.
During high school, I wrote "PIG" in pen across the massed closed-book page-edges of every school textbook I could find. It was my, "calling-card." Then my friends started doing it too. I did not feel bad; the books were already decrepit.
pogo
+0 -0
Finally, someone older than me! https://www.disabled-world.com/artman/uploads/george-burns.jpg
Finally, someone older than me! https://www.disabled-world.com/artman/uploads/george-burns.jpg
pogo
+0 -0
Naturally, I screwed that up.
Naturally, I screwed that up.
mattylite
+0 -0
speccer
+0 -0
I know that there's up to sixth degree burns... but I don't think I want to know what they look like.
I know that there's up to sixth degree burns... but I don't think I want to know what they look like.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Burns do karate? Or are they Masonic burns?
Burns do karate? Or are they Masonic burns?
nice-on-water
+0 -1
6th is burnt bone. Damaged [/i]marrow[/i]. Amputation is necessary. I won't post pictures, not that I have any or the balls to Google it.
6th is burnt bone. Damaged [/i]marrow[/i]. Amputation is necessary. I won't post pictures, not that I have any or the balls to Google it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
FUCK [ I ] [ I ] [ I ] GET IT RIGHT
FUCK [ I ] [ I ] [ I ] GET IT RIGHT
tragicone
+0 -0
i can't even imagine the amount of time a burn would require to blacken bone.
Consider that. ive caught hair on fire and it burned like 10 seconds before i got it out. no damage, not even first degree. I assume the only way to get a sixth degree burn is to be pinned down by metal that is on fire. not even wood, because wood is a better insulator.
i can't even imagine the amount of time a burn would require to blacken bone.
Consider that. ive caught hair on fire and it burned like 10 seconds before i got it out. no damage, not even first degree. I assume the only way to get a sixth degree burn is to be pinned down by metal that is on fire. not even wood, because wood is a better insulator.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Metal probably can't even get hot enough for you to get a 6th degree burn without running from it (strapping down probably doesn't count). Maybe lava approaches it.
Metal probably can't even get hot enough for you to get a 6th degree burn without running from it (strapping down probably doesn't count). Maybe lava approaches it.
speccer
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure lava would disintegrate your bones. You might get 6th degree burns from touching it for a fraction of a second. Shit's hot.
I'm pretty sure lava would disintegrate your bones. You might get 6th degree burns from touching it for a fraction of a second. Shit's hot.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well, if you were to touch lava, you wouldn't want to keep your hand there for more than a fraction of a second, thus causing 6th degree burns rather than a completely melted arm or other body part.
Well, if you were to touch lava, you wouldn't want to keep your hand there for more than a fraction of a second, thus causing 6th degree burns rather than a completely melted arm or other body part.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It just looks like this:
It just looks like this:
kamet
+0 -0
FATALITY
FATALITY
gowerski
+0 -0
a chubby, but I tell you this, knowing something as true is different to just looking it up on demand.
What say you to this, cryptic chaosmaster?
a chubby, but I tell you this, knowing something as true is different to just looking it up on demand.
What say you to this, cryptic chaosmaster?
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
dunt u no hue i am boyyyy!?
dunt u no hue i am boyyyy!?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ain't you have an idea who i is, man?
ain't you have an idea who i is, man?
xiaomimi
+11 -0
Wednesday Blog
Onstad: North American Achewood Tour Dates and Times.
Wednesday Blog
Onstad: North American Achewood Tour Dates and Times.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Oh dang it Mr. Onstad, when shall you decide upon your Austin visit?
Oh dang it Mr. Onstad, when shall you decide upon your Austin visit?
sje46
+0 -0
Do you know a Colette?
Do you know a Colette?
spinynorman
+0 -0
Mmm, nope. I'd remember a Colette.
Mmm, nope. I'd remember a Colette.
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
i fuck wimminz named colette
i fuck wimminz named colette
sje46
+0 -0
Shut up.
Shut up.
gladi8orrex
+7 -1
i am sry was she ur siss?
i am sry was she ur siss?
tekende
+0 -0
Exclusively?
Exclusively?
gladi8orrex
+5 -1
"m-my names rachel tho"
"lol no u r colette now"
"but i--mmrrrfhfph"
"m-my names rachel tho"
"lol no u r colette now"
"but i--mmrrrfhfph"
spinynorman
+0 -0
I'm still waiting for you to somehow tie this into being black.
I'm still waiting for you to somehow tie this into being black.
gladi8orrex
+3 -1
wat is deh diff between a balk man and a tire?
tires dun sing win u put chains on dem!
wat is deh diff between a balk man and a tire?
tires dun sing win u put chains on dem!
tragicone
+0 -0
shite.
shite.
kickstart
+0 -0
lol yes im muhc happir as a colette
kissiz for glad to finish up
lol yes im muhc happir as a colette
kissiz for glad to finish up
sje46
+0 -0
It's a pretty name.
It's a pretty name.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Might I ask why you asked?
Might I ask why you asked?
sje46
+0 -0
Because I know a Collette who goes school is Austin.
She's my internet friend.
I knew that it would be highly unlikely, though.
Because I know a Collette who goes school is Austin.
She's my internet friend.
I knew that it would be highly unlikely, though.
tekende
+0 -0
Is she your internet giiirrrlllfriend? Eh?? EH??
Is she your internet giiirrrlllfriend? Eh?? EH??
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yeah. He's in love with her well-rounded personality, great assets and beautiful . . . avatar.
Yeah. He's in love with her well-rounded personality, great assets and beautiful . . . avatar.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
yall 2 should hookup-and-fuck
yall 2 should hookup-and-fuck
retinarow
+10 -0
I believe Onstadt might have misspelled "Comma d'or", a well-known french prostate tickler.
I believe Onstadt might have misspelled "Comma d'or", a well-known french prostate tickler.
speccer
+4 -0
Or Tina mispronounced it, being the lady of low classiness she is.
Or Tina mispronounced it, being the lady of low classiness she is.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
oh, fuck you I actually googled that.
begrudgingly chubbied
oh, fuck you I actually googled that.
begrudgingly chubbied
speccer
+0 -0
Also, I find it funny that you accuse Onstad of misspelling something while you misspell his name.
Also, I find it funny that you accuse Onstad of misspelling something while you misspell his name.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I am waiting for someone to take a cue from "Onstadt" and photoshop a picture of Onstad with a Kaiser helmet and Hitler mustache.
I am waiting for someone to take a cue from "Onstadt" and photoshop a picture of Onstad with a Kaiser helmet and Hitler mustache.
mattylite
+1 -0
I love when the Professor Brothers seem like they're talking to each other about Achewood.
I love when the Professor Brothers seem like they're talking to each other about Achewood.
retinarow
+0 -0
YES ahem ahem THAT WAS OF COURSE MY INTENTION TO MAKE IT A FUNNY JOKE.
YES ahem ahem THAT WAS OF COURSE MY INTENTION TO MAKE IT A FUNNY JOKE.
drskradley
+0 -0
WILL HE WEAR A CROWN AFTERWARDS
WILL THIS GIVE AWAY HIS IDENTITY y/n
WILL HE WEAR A CROWN AFTERWARDS
WILL THIS GIVE AWAY HIS IDENTITY y/n
theguitarhero
+2 -0
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE...OF ACHEWOOD!
SAME CAT TIME, SAME CAT PLACE.
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE...OF ACHEWOOD!
SAME CAT TIME, SAME CAT PLACE.
skoora
+0 -0
The Commodore: similar to Der Kommisar, but with less bratwurst.
The Commodore: similar to Der Kommisar, but with less bratwurst.
autrepoupee
+6 -0
It's also recommended that you don't turn around ( wah-oh-OH ) in either of the sex acts.
It's also recommended that you don't turn around ( wah-oh-OH ) in either of the sex acts.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Lyle is sick of listening to your naive speculations.
Lyle is sick of listening to your naive speculations.
keir
+5 -0
But this is a Commodore , baby! Don't you want to do it under a Commodore ?
But this is a Commodore , baby! Don't you want to do it under a Commodore ?
seanc
+0 -0
"commodore sex act" the query that crashed Google
"commodore sex act" the query that crashed Google
historyandmetal
+0 -0
frankly, i'm too confused about whether Tina knows what's up or not to think this is funny. like everything in this arc, i expect it's pleasure to be a retrospective one.
frankly, i'm too confused about whether Tina knows what's up or not to think this is funny. like everything in this arc, i expect it's pleasure to be a retrospective one.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
That is exactly how the Commodore works.
That is exactly how the Commodore works.
brinkmanship
+1 -0
Best seen from behind, you mean? That what is the purpose of the window?
Best seen from behind, you mean? That what is the purpose of the window?
irondave
+0 -0
Man, the purpose of the window is to see out into the parking lot. Pay attention!
Man, the purpose of the window is to see out into the parking lot. Pay attention!
butta
+0 -0
Oh dear. Massaging the prostate! HOORAY!
Oh dear. Massaging the prostate! HOORAY!
daidai
+2 -0
Props possibly to be used next strip by percentage chance:
Banana: 42%
Pie tin: 15%
Lipstick: 19%
A Kipper: 1%
Tina's dildo, "Old Yeller" (not named by Tina): 64%
A Blender: 0% (dodged a bullet there, Ray)
A roll of nickels: 74%
Hmm...
Props possibly to be used next strip by percentage chance:
Banana: 42%
Pie tin: 15%
Lipstick: 19%
A Kipper: 1%
Tina's dildo, "Old Yeller" (not named by Tina): 64%
A Blender: 0% (dodged a bullet there, Ray)
A roll of nickels: 74%
Hmm...
hoboninja
+0 -1
I may be wrong, but I think your math is off.
I may be wrong, but I think your math is off.
speccer
+0 -0
Keep in mind those props are not mutually exclusive. You don't just straight add those percentages.
Keep in mind those props are not mutually exclusive. You don't just straight add those percentages.
hamscout
+1 -0
Worst episode of "Will It Blend?" EVER!!
Worst episode of "Will It Blend?" EVER!!
brinkmanship
+0 -0
"Old Yeller". Very much chubbied.
"Old Yeller". Very much chubbied.
maximus
+0 -0
B
Old Yeller was a hunter
E
A rearin', tearin' hunter
B F#
In any chase he knew just how to run
B
And when he hunted trouble
E
He always found it double
B F# B
And that's when Old Yeller had fun
B
Old Yeller was a hunter
E
A rearin', tearin' hunter
B F#
In any chase he knew just how to run
B
And when he hunted trouble
E
He always found it double
B F# B
And that's when Old Yeller had fun
noah_j
+0 -0
thank you v.a.t.s.
it's risky, but i think i'll take a shot at the pie tin, see if i can't keep the comic from getting all slapstick on me.
thank you v.a.t.s.
it's risky, but i think i'll take a shot at the pie tin, see if i can't keep the comic from getting all slapstick on me.
daidai
+0 -0
Actually, slapstick is not what they would do with the pie tin.
As for what they would do: well, I won't get into that.
Actually, slapstick is not what they would do with the pie tin.
As for what they would do: well, I won't get into that.
mattylite
+0 -0
...but will it get into you ?
...but will it get into you ?
shoveland
+0 -0
congratulations "commodore sex act" you have officially beaten "wamu takeover" "literotica" and "voyeurdorm.com" in google trends...barely beaten out by "benjamin button"
congratulations "commodore sex act" you have officially beaten "wamu takeover" "literotica" and "voyeurdorm.com" in google trends...barely beaten out by "benjamin button"
perilon
+0 -0
Also has beaten "icicle" and "minge."
Also has beaten "icicle" and "minge."
tekende
+0 -0
Who the crap is googling "icicle"? Maybe they're doing an image search, for pretty pictures of icicles to use as their desktop.
Who the crap is googling "icicle"? Maybe they're doing an image search, for pretty pictures of icicles to use as their desktop.
lechatbotte
+2 -0
And then leap in acts of heroism with images of sports cars.
And then leap in acts of heroism with images of sports cars.
akumitsukai
+0 -0
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SEX_(computing)
so far i got this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SEX_(computing)
so far i got this
fattybeaver
+1 -0
the commodore is just a fancy way of saying anal. Get with the times guys.
the commodore is just a fancy way of saying anal. Get with the times guys.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
No.
No.
pogo
+0 -0
Anal, perhaps, but then why is the man on all fours? Would that not be a receptive pose?
Anal, perhaps, but then why is the man on all fours? Would that not be a receptive pose?
achilleselbow
+4 -0
I'd like to think that pogo has spent 14 hours thinking about this, and the realization is just about to dawn on him.
I'd like to think that pogo has spent 14 hours thinking about this, and the realization is just about to dawn on him.
howl
+0 -0
pogo is ooooold.
pogo is ooooold.
sje46
+0 -0
Those 14 hours hours he spent thinking about this, what percent of the rest of his life is that?
Those 14 hours hours he spent thinking about this, what percent of the rest of his life is that?
pogo
+0 -0
A week later, I'm still thinking about it. (Not really. I get to have actual sex with an actualy woman, remember.)
A week later, I'm still thinking about it. (Not really. I get to have actual sex with an actualy woman, remember.)
akumitsukai
+0 -0
https://www.juegomania.org/Sex Games/foto/c64/0/464/464.jpg/Foto Sex Games.jpg
this too
https://www.juegomania.org/Sex Games/foto/c64/0/464/464.jpg/Foto Sex Games.jpg
this too
microwave
+1 -0
Regardless of the outcome of this, a story arc where Teodor opens his own resturant must be done
Regardless of the outcome of this, a story arc where Teodor opens his own resturant must be done
deus
+0 -0
PFT!
You dont give a lady a Commodore, you give here an AMIGA!!!!!
PFT!
You dont give a lady a Commodore, you give here an AMIGA!!!!!
achilleselbow
+0 -1
Is that like a Dirty Sanchez?
Is that like a Dirty Sanchez?
deus
+0 -0
Donkey show, the amiga is well equipped.
Donkey show, the amiga is well equipped.
theirateturk
+1 -1
This is stupid.
This is stupid.
drmemory
+2 -0
After the "commodore", Tina will follow up with "the Russian laser", then conclude with "'possum in a foolish hat".
After the "commodore", Tina will follow up with "the Russian laser", then conclude with "'possum in a foolish hat".
pogo
+0 -0
Wait, what's the possum one?
Wait, what's the possum one?
davey-boy
+0 -0
My guess is some variation of face sitting.
My guess is some variation of face sitting.
speccer
+0 -0
Think "playing possum", only with sex.
Think "playing possum", only with sex.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Asleep Style, here we come.
Asleep Style, here we come.
zombiezero
+4 -0
Ray is about to learn how much RAM a Commodore has.
Ray is about to learn how much RAM a Commodore has.
akadriver
+1 -0
He is about to receive 65,536 bites. But only the first 38,911 basic bites are free.
He is about to receive 65,536 bites. But only the first 38,911 basic bites are free.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
OH SHHIIIIIITTTT
OH SHHIIIIIITTTT
shaggy23
+0 -2
Best. Achewood. Evarrrrr.
Best. Achewood. Evarrrrr.
steev_dayv
+1 -0
The female cat is eager to peg the tan cat disguised as a prince with a computer assisted voice, which is actually a stuffed bear masking his voice with a donut and speaking through a phone in the tan cat's beard.
This is the most complex simplification of a strip ever.
The female cat is eager to peg the tan cat disguised as a prince with a computer assisted voice, which is actually a stuffed bear masking his voice with a donut and speaking through a phone in the tan cat's beard.
This is the most complex simplification of a strip ever.
pointy_stick
+0 -1
I find it curious that Beef has been absent from the proceedings ever since finding the donut. It is my prediction that his unexpected arrival will complicate matters. His compulsion to let Ray know when he is hella out of step will cause Ray to have a (temporary) change of heart.
I find it curious that Beef has been absent from the proceedings ever since finding the donut. It is my prediction that his unexpected arrival will complicate matters. His compulsion to let Ray know when he is hella out of step will cause Ray to have a (temporary) change of heart.
pogo
+0 -0
It will be Beef to the Rescue!
It will be Beef to the Rescue!
hamscout
+0 -0
Because Beef was paying attention!
Also, he owes him one, after the stewardess near-miss.
Any minute now, we'll hear the fwup-fwup of Airwolf, and the satisfying "Fshhhhh" of a missle headed toward Tina and her Commodore debauchery...
Because Beef was paying attention!
Also, he owes him one, after the stewardess near-miss.
Any minute now, we'll hear the fwup-fwup of Airwolf, and the satisfying "Fshhhhh" of a missle headed toward Tina and her Commodore debauchery...
desert_donkey
+0 -0
the pane.. T's eyes say it all.
i saw a youporn of this girl 'pegging' herself with a bottle of shampoo. i will admit to feeling a bit naive as i had no idea that a bottle of shampoo was good for more than one thing.
the pane.. T's eyes say it all.
i saw a youporn of this girl 'pegging' herself with a bottle of shampoo. i will admit to feeling a bit naive as i had no idea that a bottle of shampoo was good for more than one thing.
stereo
+0 -0
If you are a bachelor, it is also acceptable to use old shampoo bottles to hold semen. Especially if you label it "guest shampoo".
If you are a bachelor, it is also acceptable to use old shampoo bottles to hold semen. Especially if you label it "guest shampoo".
desert_donkey
+0 -0
i see.
bachelor = yes
storer of jizz = no
i see.
bachelor = yes
storer of jizz = no
daidai
+0 -0
Then you are not a bachelor.
Then you are not a bachelor.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Hey, Stereo: I think the more useful label would be "guest hair gel".
Hey, Stereo: I think the more useful label would be "guest hair gel".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's only 'pegging' if it's being done to a guy. Otherwise it's just anal.
It's only 'pegging' if it's being done to a guy. Otherwise it's just anal.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Um, no. It's only "'pegging'" if it's done with an inanimate object. Possibly by a girl, to a guy.
Um, no. It's only "'pegging'" if it's done with an inanimate object. Possibly by a girl, to a guy.
biancasimone
+0 -0
I found this on urban dictionary (look at #13). I believe he is about to be pegged.
I hope Tina uses the finest lube money can buy... GET READY PRINCE HALAT.
I found this on urban dictionary (look at #13). I believe he is about to be pegged.
I hope Tina uses the finest lube money can buy... GET READY PRINCE HALAT.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
So, what if Tina's actually Lie-bot in disguise?
So, what if Tina's actually Lie-bot in disguise?
stereo
+0 -0
What if Tacodor is actually Liebot in disguise?
What if Tacodor is actually Liebot in disguise?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
All the characters are Liebot in diguise, and all strips have taken place in Liebot's imagination.
All the characters are Liebot in diguise, and all strips have taken place in Liebot's imagination.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I'm Lie-bot. Damn you for learning my secret!
I'm Lie-bot. Damn you for learning my secret!
dangelder
+0 -0
What if Ray is actually Lie-Bot?
What if Ray is actually Lie-Bot?
sje46
+0 -0
I said that a few strips ago.
I said that a few strips ago.
pogo
+0 -0
This is going to be the kinkiest, most perverted weekend in Assetbar evaaahhh!
This is going to be the kinkiest, most perverted weekend in Assetbar evaaahhh!
cdumas
+0 -0
James Bond was a Commodore. Meaning, like all Bond girls, Tina is about to explode .
James Bond was a Commodore. Meaning, like all Bond girls, Tina is about to explode .
spectre
+0 -0
I didn't Google first. I went to Urban Dictionary. Then Snopes. But I will say this: the number of refs to "Commodore sex act" has gone up from about 300 to over 2000 since this morning. Of course there's nothing IN those Google refs -- just trolling into useless ad pages.
I didn't Google first. I went to Urban Dictionary. Then Snopes. But I will say this: the number of refs to "Commodore sex act" has gone up from about 300 to over 2000 since this morning. Of course there's nothing IN those Google refs -- just trolling into useless ad pages.
gladi8orrex
+0 -2
I am berdy creatib: WASH diDIS!
|-------| o
-o- |_ _ _ _| \o-
/\ | | /\
lol ib is and orignal desine o mine it is 2 bvolbeyly balls palayiers: 1 is abot 2 surf
lesbian famnits:o but wat abot chickies y r dey men? *barrrrrrrf* canit bitchs palay 2?
cecil paulo: lol @ dat notian
I am berdy creatib: WASH diDIS!
|-------| o
-o- |_ _ _ _| \o-
/\ | | /\
lol ib is and orignal desine o mine it is 2 bvolbeyly balls palayiers: 1 is abot 2 surf
banzairabbit
+1 -0
I'm going to take a stab and say it's referring to Lionel Ritchie, one-time lead singer of the Commodores. 'cause, well, he got screwed but good by his [former?] wife.
I'm going to take a stab and say it's referring to Lionel Ritchie, one-time lead singer of the Commodores. 'cause, well, he got screwed but good by his [former?] wife.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I think we have our winner.
I think we have our winner.
johnnygeo
+0 -0
I think this ends with somebody busting through the wall like the Kool-aid Man and critiquing the Commodore technique.
I think this ends with somebody busting through the wall like the Kool-aid Man and critiquing the Commodore technique.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Or the vice police: Turns out this Commodore is illegal in 30 states (including California).
Or the vice police: Turns out this Commodore is illegal in 30 states (including California).
steerpike66
+0 -0
Batman leaps out of the wardrobe and tries to sodomise Ray but is nonplussed when he finds Ray already being enthusiastically pegged senseless by Tina.
Batman leaps out of the wardrobe and tries to sodomise Ray but is nonplussed when he finds Ray already being enthusiastically pegged senseless by Tina.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Wow! I really didn't see that coming!
Wow! I really didn't see that coming!
tripleg
+0 -0
reading assetbar and giggling uncontrollably in the computer lab did not help the student teacher ingratiate himself to his new class. thank you assetbar for convincing 15 low-achieving students that their student teacher should be locked up and given medications.
reading assetbar and giggling uncontrollably in the computer lab did not help the student teacher ingratiate himself to his new class. thank you assetbar for convincing 15 low-achieving students that their student teacher should be locked up and given medications.
redphillip
+1 -0
Tri-G, you are now in Achewood, and the gifts of Assetbar cannot be refused. For guidance on dealing with your students of low circumstances, refer to the Great Outdoor Fight strips; you will never know intimidation again.
Tri-G, you are now in Achewood, and the gifts of Assetbar cannot be refused. For guidance on dealing with your students of low circumstances, refer to the Great Outdoor Fight strips; you will never know intimidation again.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
WHERE IS THE NPR INTERVIEW???
DAMMIT, ACHEWOOD.
WHERE IS THE NPR INTERVIEW???
DAMMIT, ACHEWOOD.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Sorry, sorry, my fault. It airs Monday morning. Sorry. It definitely will air on Monday morning, though. So don't fret.
Sorry, sorry, my fault. It airs Monday morning. Sorry. It definitely will air on Monday morning, though. So don't fret.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Is there anybody else who finds the whole 'finish off into a little towel' thing a bit...eugh, creepy-sounding?
Is there anybody else who finds the whole 'finish off into a little towel' thing a bit...eugh, creepy-sounding?
steerpike66
+0 -0
Like, creepier than your usual 'alcoholic cat in disguise has orgasm' way, perhaps a sort of 'Nurse Rachett helping nervous Billy with his little problem' sort of creepiness.
Like, creepier than your usual 'alcoholic cat in disguise has orgasm' way, perhaps a sort of 'Nurse Rachett helping nervous Billy with his little problem' sort of creepiness.
sje46
+0 -0
Onanism is indeed very creepy.
Onanism is indeed very creepy.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Might we have some prostate milking in our near future?
Might we have some prostate milking in our near future?
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Oh, he's gonna jizz right on the bed sheets; the towel is for the shit-flow that comes out along with the Pantene. "2 in 1" takes on a whole new meaning.
Oh, he's gonna jizz right on the bed sheets; the towel is for the shit-flow that comes out along with the Pantene. "2 in 1" takes on a whole new meaning.
hamscout
+2 -0
Everything else is just a cum rag...
Everything else is just a cum rag...
akadriver
+1 -0
Everything Welsh is just a Cymraeg.
Everything Welsh is just a Cymraeg.
kickstart
+0 -0
baby batter in the sheets ain't exactly the 5 o'clock news, FineOak
baby batter in the sheets ain't exactly the 5 o'clock news, FineOak
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
one of my friends recently found she was pregnant.
here are the facts:
she was on birth control.
he was wearing a condom.
this baby is truly a miracle.
one of my friends recently found she was pregnant.
here are the facts:
she was on birth control.
he was wearing a condom.
this baby is truly a miracle.
akadriver
+0 -0
As someone who has befouled many a small towel... not really. It beats a shampoo bottle, as described by "stereo" above.
As someone who has befouled many a small towel... not really. It beats a shampoo bottle, as described by "stereo" above.
cdumas
+1 -0
It should be noted that it was _Roast Beef_ who first called Tina on the phone, prompting her to agree to go meet the 'prince' to begin with. So either her behavior here is genuine, or, if she recognized the voice/phone number involved the first time around, she thinks she is about to 'commodore' Beef. It's too bad we'll never see what vagina products McGyvering would've gotten him out of that one.
It should be noted that it was _Roast Beef_ who first called Tina on the phone, prompting her to agree to go meet the 'prince' to begin with. So either her behavior here is genuine, or, if she recognized the voice/phone number involved the first time around, she thinks she is about to 'commodore' Beef. It's too bad we'll never see what vagina products McGyvering would've gotten him out of that one.
octafish
+6 -0
Hello Assetbarristas.
Baby Scout Ellen Octafish was born on the 23rd so I won't be back this way 'til I go back to work in three, now two and a half weeks (not that anyone really cares). Hamscout, yes we named her after you (well sort of), and Hedonismbot, yes poopy vaginas. Hey Woodenteeth, don't go changing your avataricon, I don't want to be the only handface when I get back.
Lots o' vomit and poop to you all,
Daddy Octafish
Hello Assetbarristas.
Baby Scout Ellen Octafish was born on the 23rd so I won't be back this way 'til I go back to work in three, now two and a half weeks (not that anyone really cares). Hamscout, yes we named her after you (well sort of), and Hedonismbot, yes poopy vaginas. Hey Woodenteeth, don't go changing your avataricon, I don't want to be the only handface when I get back.
Lots o' vomit and poop to you all,
Daddy Octafish
catgrl131
+0 -0
Yay for you!
Yay for you!
kamet
+0 -0
Kudos to the Octafish clan!
Kudos to the Octafish clan!
sje46
+0 -0
Wow! So what does a human baby look like right when it first comes out? Spill it, O!
Congrats!
Wow! So what does a human baby look like right when it first comes out? Spill it, O!
Congrats!
hamscout
+0 -0
Octafish... I'm really honored.
And I sincerely hope she grows up to look nothing like me.
I tried to bugger up some photoshoppy image of a infant daughter with your face, but with the resolution I was working with, it always came out creepier than intended.
Enjoy fatherhood, and we'll miss you while you're gone! Congratulations!
Octafish... I'm really honored.
And I sincerely hope she grows up to look nothing like me.
I tried to bugger up some photoshoppy image of a infant daughter with your face, but with the resolution I was working with, it always came out creepier than intended.
Enjoy fatherhood, and we'll miss you while you're gone! Congratulations!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I've got your back... I mean, errr, hand, ummm... face? Enjoy the little tyke man, soak it up.
I've got your back... I mean, errr, hand, ummm... face? Enjoy the little tyke man, soak it up.
pogo
+0 -0
I'll be the grampa. Congrats, kiddo.
I'll be the grampa. Congrats, kiddo.
daidai
+1 -0
Hey I need to complain about something right now and there is no place else to do so and AssetBar seems like a good place to do it, expecially since there is almost no way it can turn into a unseless semantics or politics debate.
So here we go: I am back home in Charlotte after leaving college for reasons not worth noting, and there are fucking MOSQUITOS in my fucking HOUSE.
My house is where I always go to escape mosquitos. When I think "fuck, there are too many mosquitos right now where can I go?" I immediately think "oh, duh, my house".
THEY FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT
I have quintuple checked EVERY window in the house, EVERY door EVERY CRACK that they could possibly come in from. There is no way they are getting in, yet I have killed 9 today.
This was never a problem before I left for college.
What the HELL could my parents have done in my absence to COMPLETELY RUIN the mosquito avoiding aspects of my life?!
Some one has to have ideas here. I know they breed in stagnant water. there is none of that in my house. WHAT IS GOING ON HAS HELL OPENNED UP UNDERNEATH MY HOUSE
Hey I need to complain about something right now and there is no place else to do so and AssetBar seems like a good place to do it, expecially since there is almost no way it can turn into a unseless semantics or politics debate.
So here we go: I am back home in Charlotte after leaving college for reasons not worth noting, and there are fucking MOSQUITOS in my fucking HOUSE.
My house is where I always go to escape mosquitos. When I think "fuck, there are too many mosquitos right now where can I go?" I immediately think "oh, duh, my house".
THEY FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT
I have quintuple checked EVERY window in the house, EVERY door EVERY CRACK that they could possibly come in from. There is no way they are getting in, yet I have killed 9 today.
This was never a problem before I left for college.
What the HELL could my parents have done in my absence to COMPLETELY RUIN the mosquito avoiding aspects of my life?!
Some one has to have ideas here. I know they breed in stagnant water. there is none of that in my house. WHAT IS GOING ON HAS HELL OPENNED UP UNDERNEATH MY HOUSE
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
lol swamp territory
lol swamp territory
sje46
+0 -0
Try Wicca.
Try Wicca.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Drive far away from Charlotte is the answer. Just fill up the car with ga...oh wait.
Drive far away from Charlotte is the answer. Just fill up the car with ga...oh wait.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
I'm sorry, I meant:
==> Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
I'm sorry, I meant:
==> Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
tekende
+1 -0
Have you tried shooting them?
Have you tried shooting them?
linsect
+5 -1
Okay I think I have had enough of this. There are plenty of other places on the Internet that I can go to for my daily supply of anti-insect violence and speciesism.
Time for an Assetbar hiatus.
I have a Friendster on the off-chance that anyone wants to continue communication with me.
Peace out, homo sapiens.
Okay I think I have had enough of this. There are plenty of other places on the Internet that I can go to for my daily supply of anti-insect violence and speciesism.
Time for an Assetbar hiatus.
I have a Friendster on the off-chance that anyone wants to continue communication with me.
Peace out, homo sapiens.
sje46
+0 -0
Just don't bore a hole into my skull and lay eggs on the way out, wingo.
Just don't bore a hole into my skull and lay eggs on the way out, wingo.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Sigh. I understand the principle of seeing a potential joke and having to make it, and it is pretty well crafted. But I wish we'd stop rubbing it in. I got into more arguments with her than most, but I still think she was a really cool person and a lot of people including myself enjoyed her presence overall. Her departure is hardly something to celebrate.
Sigh. I understand the principle of seeing a potential joke and having to make it, and it is pretty well crafted. But I wish we'd stop rubbing it in. I got into more arguments with her than most, but I still think she was a really cool person and a lot of people including myself enjoyed her presence overall. Her departure is hardly something to celebrate.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
1 less no branes broad 2 interfer wit or impotante disgustions, eh boyz?
1 less no branes broad 2 interfer wit or impotante disgustions, eh boyz?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
So, what I got, Glad: You think of smart, witty gals as "no brains broads" and then wonder why you are left with "impotant disgusts"?
So, what I got, Glad: You think of smart, witty gals as "no brains broads" and then wonder why you are left with "impotant disgusts"?
speccer
+0 -0
Not "disgusts", but rather "discussions". This is where it shows you haven't been on assetbar for long: no matter how smart you are, you need practice to get gladi8orrex completely.
Not to agree or disagree with anybody, that pseudo-Freudian slip (Freudian pseudo-slip? Nevermind, I don't want to get into semantics over this.) that gladi8 made.
Also, for the love of God change your avicon, lechatbotte.
Not "disgusts", but rather "discussions". This is where it shows you haven't been on assetbar for long: no matter how smart you are, you need practice to get gladi8orrex completely.
Not to agree or disagree with anybody, that pseudo-Freudian slip (Freudian pseudo-slip? Nevermind, I don't want to get into semantics over this.) that gladi8 made.
Also, for the love of God change your avicon, lechatbotte.
speccer
+0 -0
*...that was an interesting pseudo...
*...that was an interesting pseudo...
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I forget. . . Which avatar was that a vote against?
(And I got the "important discussions", but thought "impotant disgusts" would be more fun to accuse him of.)
I forget. . . Which avatar was that a vote against?
(And I got the "important discussions", but thought "impotant disgusts" would be more fun to accuse him of.)
sje46
+0 -0
She was awesome and I feel bad that I didn't hug her enough. Or, like, get to know her.
She was awesome and I feel bad that I didn't hug her enough. Or, like, get to know her.
redphillip
+0 -0
Our sympathies, daidai.
First, your parents left the doors open to air everything out after you left for college.
Second, the beasties were breading in the relatively unused drain traps left quiescent in your absence.
BTW, as you know, our collective appetite for Schadenfreude is neigh on unlimited, so any airing of the circumstances of your departure from college will not go unappreciated. Particularly, especially , if they are low circumstances.
Our sympathies, daidai.
First, your parents left the doors open to air everything out after you left for college.
Second, the beasties were breading in the relatively unused drain traps left quiescent in your absence.
BTW, as you know, our collective appetite for Schadenfreude is neigh on unlimited, so any airing of the circumstances of your departure from college will not go unappreciated. Particularly, especially , if they are low circumstances.
featurelessvoid
+6 -0
Quote:
Awww Yeah!
Quote:
Second, the beasties were breading
Awww Yeah!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Why does this not have chubbs?
Why does this not have chubbs?
redphillip
+0 -0
I am so ashamed.
Though I'm kinky enough to consider a light breading of the naughty bits as an hors d'oeuvre sexuelle .
I am so ashamed.
Though I'm kinky enough to consider a light breading of the naughty bits as an hors d'oeuvre sexuelle .
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Have you been listening to heavy metal records? Because from what I understand that sometimes opens up hellish portals.
Have you been listening to heavy metal records? Because from what I understand that sometimes opens up hellish portals.
pogo
+0 -0
Gotta know more about the leaving college bit, sonny boy. When you'r ready.
Meanwhile, my theory is that the bugs rode in on you, or on your last guest. They could have been in a small cloud right around you, but you didn't notice them then. Once in, you're the only target. You'll just have to smash them one by one as they feed.
Gotta know more about the leaving college bit, sonny boy. When you'r ready.
Meanwhile, my theory is that the bugs rode in on you, or on your last guest. They could have been in a small cloud right around you, but you didn't notice them then. Once in, you're the only target. You'll just have to smash them one by one as they feed.
bartleby
+5 -0
Tina is quick with the sheik to get weird
While Teodor coaxes her on from Ray's beard
The cat though may soon rue the kink that he begged
Is he in for a treat or about to get pegged?
Tina is quick with the sheik to get weird
While Teodor coaxes her on from Ray's beard
The cat though may soon rue the kink that he begged
Is he in for a treat or about to get pegged?
boyd
+0 -2
Tina knows what Ray's doing.
She's gonna get some anal revenge.
SORRY FOR SPOILERS EVERYBODY.
Tina knows what Ray's doing.
She's gonna get some anal revenge.
SORRY FOR SPOILERS EVERYBODY.
bumfighter
+0 -0
'Commodore'? Oh Jesus, I think that's like an Achewood version of a 'Susie', a colloquialism for a towel loaded with lotion.
Remember folks, 15 seconds in the microwave and let it cool before using.
'Commodore'? Oh Jesus, I think that's like an Achewood version of a 'Susie', a colloquialism for a towel loaded with lotion.
Remember folks, 15 seconds in the microwave and let it cool before using.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I never understood all these weird-ass masturbation techniques people come up with, half of which seem to end in death or serious injury (electric plates between couch cushions, intestine sucked out by pool drain, etc.) Back in my time, all we knew was the good ol' fashioned way, and by golly, it was damn good enough to get us through the day and then some. You kids these days think you're too 'cool' to just tug on it 'till you finish into a bunch of tissues? Huh?
I never understood all these weird-ass masturbation techniques people come up with, half of which seem to end in death or serious injury (electric plates between couch cushions, intestine sucked out by pool drain, etc.) Back in my time, all we knew was the good ol' fashioned way, and by golly, it was damn good enough to get us through the day and then some. You kids these days think you're too 'cool' to just tug on it 'till you finish into a bunch of tissues? Huh?
stereo
+0 -0
Tissues were found to be a major source of landfill volume (after disposable diapers) and I think it's more politically correct to use a rag or towel now.
Tissues were found to be a major source of landfill volume (after disposable diapers) and I think it's more politically correct to use a rag or towel now.
redphillip
+0 -0
This catalog of technique reminds me of something I heard in my youth:
For children, a woman.
For pleasure, a boy.
For shear delight, a melon .
This catalog of technique reminds me of something I heard in my youth:
For children, a woman.
For pleasure, a boy.
For shear delight, a melon .
achilleselbow
+1 -0
There once was a gaucho named Bruno
Who said "There is one thing I do know:
A woman is fine,
A boy is divine,
But a llama is numero uno! "
There once was a gaucho named Bruno
Who said "There is one thing I do know:
A woman is fine,
A boy is divine,
But a llama is numero uno! "
awksedperl
+0 -0
"shear delight"? Sounds like there'll be some pain before, after, or during the melon phase.
"shear delight"? Sounds like there'll be some pain before, after, or during the melon phase.
redphillip
+0 -0
No! See, a cantaloupe is best, has to be really ripe, and you make a comfortably sized opening at one end. The melon should be room temperature or warmer (be careful!). The seeds are like a thousand tiny tongues!
No! See, a cantaloupe is best, has to be really ripe, and you make a comfortably sized opening at one end. The melon should be room temperature or warmer (be careful!). The seeds are like a thousand tiny tongues!
speccer
+0 -0
I've actually heard that the melon's acidity... well... you can guess the rest.
I've actually heard that the melon's acidity... well... you can guess the rest.
awksedperl
+0 -0
shear v. sheer.
shear v. sheer.
aperson
+0 -0
B'dum tshhh.
B'dum tshhh.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
So now we've switched from Haiku to Limmerick? I DIDN'T GET THE MEMO!
Community effort on this one! I'll start:
There once was a gal from Nantuckett,
So now we've switched from Haiku to Limmerick? I DIDN'T GET THE MEMO!
Community effort on this one! I'll start:
There once was a gal from Nantuckett,
sje46
+0 -0
I never knew the end of this. I always hear just the beginning. It's annoying, seriously. Now I have to Google it.
I never knew the end of this. I always hear just the beginning. It's annoying, seriously. Now I have to Google it.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Just google "rhymes with Nantuckett", and I suspect you'll sort it out.
Just google "rhymes with Nantuckett", and I suspect you'll sort it out.
zhankfor
+1 -0
To my mind, the strangest thing about this arc is that it's a given that one's eyes must be oddly squinted when imitating an oil sheikh's accent.
To my mind, the strangest thing about this arc is that it's a given that one's eyes must be oddly squinted when imitating an oil sheikh's accent.
myfirstpost
+2 -0
The bear does not know what the girl cat is going to do to the boy cat, but he knows it is his fault.
The bear does not know what the girl cat is going to do to the boy cat, but he knows it is his fault.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
Chubby for the avatar, not for stating the obvious.
Chubby for the avatar, not for stating the obvious.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
seconded.
seconded.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
Téodore is so cute with a bottom lip.
Téodore is so cute with a bottom lip.
crouchjump
+2 -0
As it pertains to her trade, Tina has a respectable knowledge of all popular, up-and-coming, and clandestine sex acts.
The Papa Bear. The Chubby Tumbler. The Salmon Spawn. Rocky Road (with or without Sprinkles). The Chancellor's Respite (3 classes away from certification).
As it pertains to her trade, Tina has a respectable knowledge of all popular, up-and-coming, and clandestine sex acts.
The Papa Bear. The Chubby Tumbler. The Salmon Spawn. Rocky Road (with or without Sprinkles). The Chancellor's Respite (3 classes away from certification).
tragicone
+0 -1
a promise come and gone by another webcomic artist.
I will not be betrayed again!
a promise come and gone by another webcomic artist.
I will not be betrayed again!
abunchanada
+0 -0
Aha!
UrbanDictionary
Commodore:
"When one receives a blumpkin while upperdecking someone's toilet"
...which doesn't really fit in with the comic, but the idea is interestingly epic nonetheless, no?
Aha!
UrbanDictionary
Commodore:
"When one receives a blumpkin while upperdecking someone's toilet"
...which doesn't really fit in with the comic, but the idea is interestingly epic nonetheless, no?
Google turns up nothing.
I'm intrigued to say the least.
More on the commodore sex act as this story unfolds.
[img src="https://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/a_cbm_movie_02.gif"]
Chubby THAT.
That lady got no clothes on!
It makes me so mad I could.........WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FRITTATA????
... considering her strange blue shackles I suspect this may be something hedo worked on in his youth.
Skirt?
I thought it was a kilt, lusciously descending to her ankles.
Her lack of arms is also really hot.
Wow, you both picked the blue box/milk crate as a skirt. I did not have enough exposure to C64.
To . .. what?
DO I have to Google that?
nvm
She has arms. It's just that her boobs are so ridiculously huge as to cover both her shoulders and upper arms completely.
You've met my last ex?
Ohhh that's what's going on. I thought some of those lines on her midsection seemed unnecessary, but I just thought she was standing behind a flesh colored lamp or something.
She has arms -- they are just small arms.
TINY ARMS!
They are like a t-rex...
I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'...
Frit...ta-tas? Yes indeed!
Maybe I've been looking at knitting patterns too long tonight, but that looks like something I could whip up in a scarf or maybe a throw. Just sayin'.
Or you could make curtains with that pattern, and when they're drawn, it would still look like you had curtains! ...If your curtained windows were all in a row. (I think I'm thinking this over too hard.)
Will the carpet match?
The 1980's were a time before every available lass shaved her snatch... now for me to see a young woman with pubic hair feels ever so anachronistic.
that is supposed to represent pubic hair? i thought it was The Void Where Friction Meets Reality.
Avoid the Void! Radical home arcade game! Get your 'tude together, dude! And fuck the maiden fair, in the garden old!
Dude, we have to go back for the princess babes
most excellent bill
I think it's underwear. She is dropping her skirt and those are her panties. There is a horizontal line extending out from them. They are clearly panties.
Agreed.
You are neglecting to take into account that thong underwear did not become popularized until the late 90's.
I remember them being popular with trashy midwestern girls in the early 90s... but really, my span of thong knowledge is very limited. The Internet , on the other hand, knows significantly more than I do.
"The first historical reference to the thong in post-1900%u2019s is in 1939 New York City when Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia ordered nude dancers to dress more appropriately."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thong_(clothing)]Wikipedia,[/url] probably the ultimate repository for underwear knowledge.
FUCKING ASSETBAR!
As always, heath, Assetbar punishes the lazy.
It is good and correct.
"nude dancers to dress more appropriately"?
Weak on the concept.
"nude dancers to dress more appropriately"?
Weak on the concept.
It's pubic hair, kids. Nobody used to shave down there, just a little touchup for bathing suits. And there were no thongs for regular wimmin, just Brazilian babes on the beach.
1)It is not necessarily a thong, merely a string bikini or, possibly, a thong. The distinction is not made clearly 2)G-strings were very popular for strippers and other ladies who drop their skirts in low-resolution even at the time 3)I doubt efforts were made to provide the most accurate portrayal of underwear. 4)The horizontal line makes no sense otherwise.
5) She ain't no "regular wimmin"!
I'm sure we had a discussion not so long ago about how few of us actually go for the total bareback.
He doesn't mean an actual woman like he might see in person.
What are these 'actual women' you speak of?
Yes, I do. I am actually referring to the actual women I have actually seen naked and coupled our actual reproductive organs together for coital actualness.
I don't know how any of that information can be considered actual.
pictures or it never happened...
Frankly it seems more honest. If you leave a patch it seems like more of an affectation. Complete removal seems like the simple, effective method. Not going to the trouble of trying to save just a tiny bit.
The total bareback is too much. I'd prefer to not feel like I'm going down on a pre-teen girl, thankyouverymuch.
Your loss.
While aesthetics are a personal choice (although that doesn't mean that you can't be wrong) there are certainly practical considerations to take into account here. Namely not getting a mouthful of hair. Complete removal is the best way to accomplish this.
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jlaw, jthm_guitarist, worldbelow, heccibiggs, eatmorekix, skiddysmith)
I actually prefer it trimmed. Isn't that normal?
It is, but the people who want it bare are a vocal minority :/
The 1990s were a time before I quit getting laid. Now for me to see any woman's pubic hair feels ever so anachronistic.
Got married, eh?
Look, everyone! It's a goose!
Or is it a void . . . ? Ya' know, we really haven't heard from Nice Pete in a while . . .
Actually Nice Pete made an appearance a few days ago at Achewood Fanflow. Nice Pete has strange appetites, and in this instance is behaving oddly with his potatoes.
damnit i knew funny things were going on over there!
there's an old piano and they play it hot behind the green door, huh?
don't know what they're doin' but they laugh a lot behind the green door, right? right ? maybe i should just pay for it.
Is that a bow-tie he's wearing?
Why, yes. Yes it is.
No. It's a collar. Kinky goose.
ferris bueller all the way.
The good money says Tina being onto them. Poor Ray is gonna get his junk RUINED! And all for the sake of a mean-spirited prank. Roast Beef is gonna need to get out the Morgan's tape!
The least would have been to say nothing at all.
BOOSH!
Chubbying "Boosh!" more so than the original comment, but both are worthy.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
hey i was wondering has anyone here ever had sex
I once knew a man!
biblically
physically
SPECIFICALLY.
Mathematically
Diligently.
Unusually.
Adverbs are so great.
adverbally great?
handily
Oogily.
Boogily.
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!
There's ALWAYS time for lubricunt!
Oh, necessarily.
Akadriver has the perfect avatar for this discussion. And for Fooker in general.
seriously?
I'm having sex right now!
Frequently. Why would you ask?
(But then, never seems to be often enough.)
I think so
The airport Awkhead.
As opposed to the Achehead, its surly cousin.
I want to know how many searches of "commodore sex act" Google has had to suffer after this comic went up.
https://www.google.com/trends/hottrends?sa=X
Number 47.
56 now.
Come on guys we can't let ourselves lose to Biggest McCain Blowups here.
Now down to 68.
Now 86. Y'all some kinda lazy! Everyone, search it now, even if you already have, and lets top the charts with this one!
who in the hell is searching for bubba the love sponge so much?
We actually got beaten by "lil wayne s birthday"
"Who has gas in Atlanta" is currently sitting at 92.
"Spray on Condom" beats it! (77)