tragic_johnson
+0 -0
The confessional totally tops that list.
The confessional totally tops that list.
tekende
+0 -0
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aristagoras, SSDDR, TheBoneOrchard, shaggy23)
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aristagoras, SSDDR, TheBoneOrchard, shaggy23)
woodenteeth
+4 -0
Oh Holy Crap! Achewood lovin! Oh man this is totally a thing. Wait... ummm... is it wrong that I think both of you look incredibly attractive in this photo... *right click... save as...*
Oh Holy Crap! Achewood lovin! Oh man this is totally a thing. Wait... ummm... is it wrong that I think both of you look incredibly attractive in this photo... *right click... save as...*
tekende
+0 -0
So you are saying you swing both ways, is this what you are telling us on the internet
So you are saying you swing both ways, is this what you are telling us on the internet
usversusthem
+1 -0
Hey man. Did you not see the gender discussion we had last time. It is cool to be attracted to basically anything so long as the junk is intact.
(If that is not the lesson we all learned, someone please correct me.)
Hey man. Did you not see the gender discussion we had last time. It is cool to be attracted to basically anything so long as the junk is intact.
(If that is not the lesson we all learned, someone please correct me.)
usversusthem
+0 -0
P.S.: I also think you are both good-looking. So there.
P.S.: I also think you are both good-looking. So there.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Achewood is full of love this year. I just don't get it.
...The love, I guess
Achewood is full of love this year. I just don't get it.
...The love, I guess
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It's okay Gould. I would be happy to love you. I'm bulging and throbbing with sticky love, for anyone who needs it, or stands near me on a bus.
It's okay Gould. I would be happy to love you. I'm bulging and throbbing with sticky love, for anyone who needs it, or stands near me on a bus.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Eventually a "Hole (wo)man?" radio checkbox will appear in our profile settings. I can feel it.
I guess Lyle's philosophy differs from your preference for genital integrity, but they're both the kind of issue-oriented thinking I like to see.
Eventually a "Hole (wo)man?" radio checkbox will appear in our profile settings. I can feel it.
I guess Lyle's philosophy differs from your preference for genital integrity, but they're both the kind of issue-oriented thinking I like to see.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Pardon sir, but I think you meant "Hole Hearted"
Pardon sir, but I think you meant "Hole Hearted"
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
....sssssssSNAKE
....sssssssSNAKE
i_love_kate
+0 -0
...Snake?
...Snake?
overmedicated
+0 -0
Woodenteeth has an...alarming propensity for putting his proverbial foot in the proverbial dung viz. The Great Questionable Content Flamewar.
Woodenteeth has an...alarming propensity for putting his proverbial foot in the proverbial dung viz. The Great Questionable Content Flamewar.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Yes. People sometimes find my opinions of low mind or poorly thought through... I'm at peace with this.
Yes. People sometimes find my opinions of low mind or poorly thought through... I'm at peace with this.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Both are good lookin kids. This is what I'm telling you on the Internet.
Both are good lookin kids. This is what I'm telling you on the Internet.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, thanks.
Well, thanks.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
No, thank you for flaunting your well-bred genetic heritage.
No, thank you for flaunting your well-bred genetic heritage.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Weren't you the one who used to be a model?
Weren't you the one who used to be a model?
bixschmix
+0 -0
Yeah really. Whereas diabetes and everything else you have to check a box for at the doctors' runs in my family.
Yeah really. Whereas diabetes and everything else you have to check a box for at the doctors' runs in my family.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Ummm... yes. Is it OK for me to compliment the looks of others?
Ummm... yes. Is it OK for me to compliment the looks of others?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
Anythings ok, just as long as you know tekendes got it goin' on .
Anythings ok, just as long as you know tekendes got it goin' on .
steev_dayv
+1 -0
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
daidai
+1 -0
Obviously not, can;t you tell by everyone's fury ?
Obviously not, can;t you tell by everyone's fury ?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Fury is an hilarious descriptor for words on the Internet. I think perhaps your italicisation alludes to this.
Fury is an hilarious descriptor for words on the Internet. I think perhaps your italicisation alludes to this.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
Dude, the internet is the last refuge of the male bisexual! We talked about this!
Dude, the internet is the last refuge of the male bisexual! We talked about this!
orvel
+1 -0
There ought to be a prison for dudes like you.
There ought to be a prison for dudes like you.
spinynorman
+8 -0
Next photo has the threatening caption "Here are some of her hands."
Next photo has the threatening caption "Here are some of her hands."
spinynorman
+1 -0
Man seriously though did you get her approval for putting that pic up here
If she loads todays comic and finds that she might totally wig out and set fire to your sneakers in the bathtub
Man seriously though did you get her approval for putting that pic up here
If she loads todays comic and finds that she might totally wig out and set fire to your sneakers in the bathtub
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, she approved. I have been impatiently waiting for the strip to update so I could post this without it being swallowed in a sea of 800 comments.
Yes, she approved. I have been impatiently waiting for the strip to update so I could post this without it being swallowed in a sea of 800 comments.
spinynorman
+16 -0
I would still hide my sneakers though
This rap song I recently listened to implies that bitches often be running wild
I would still hide my sneakers though
This rap song I recently listened to implies that bitches often be running wild
tekende
+0 -0
Damn, maybe I shouldn't have forgotten my Spongebob T-shirt. I liked that shirt. She might burn it in place of sneakers.
Damn, maybe I shouldn't have forgotten my Spongebob T-shirt. I liked that shirt. She might burn it in place of sneakers.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I will exchange your Spongebob t-shirt for you taking this picture down after a little while. But whatever. Hi, Internet!
I will exchange your Spongebob t-shirt for you taking this picture down after a little while. But whatever. Hi, Internet!
spinynorman
+0 -0
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aristagoras, Sarakan, cromar)
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aristagoras, Sarakan, cromar)
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
But...why did you take clothes off?
But...why did you take clothes off?
tekende
+0 -0
Well, I don't usually make a habit of wearing the same clothes for three days straight.
Well, I don't usually make a habit of wearing the same clothes for three days straight.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
myrrdisparo
+0 -0
I guess that's what you get when bitches don't take their cunt pills .
And remember, kids, you ain't gonna be caught dead wearing no gunny sack !
I guess that's what you get when bitches don't take their cunt pills .
And remember, kids, you ain't gonna be caught dead wearing no gunny sack !
straw
+0 -0
This comment is most acceptable if you imagine Jeeves saying it. Which is just another reason I'm sad you're not actually Stephen Fry or even British.
This comment is most acceptable if you imagine Jeeves saying it. Which is just another reason I'm sad you're not actually Stephen Fry or even British.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
We miss you, Left Eye
We miss you, Left Eye
odei
+0 -0
Congratualtions to both of you for picking the right person from the internet to meet!
Congratualtions to both of you for picking the right person from the internet to meet!
achilleselbow
+4 -0
I think what you meant to say was...
FR1ST AECHWOOD HOOKUP!!!111
Just kidding. I'll repeat my earlier congratulations.
I think what you meant to say was...
FR1ST AECHWOOD HOOKUP!!!111
Just kidding. I'll repeat my earlier congratulations.
tekende
+0 -0
It was tempting, I'll admit this.
It was tempting, I'll admit this.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
By the way, you realize that you posted this on a strip relating to weddings and wedding planning, right? I think you should commission Edwell to print up those invites.
By the way, you realize that you posted this on a strip relating to weddings and wedding planning, right? I think you should commission Edwell to print up those invites.
thorfinn
+3 -0
I think it's like Beetlejuice, you have to say his name three times and then he will appear.
EDWELL EDWELL EDWELL
I think it's like Beetlejuice, you have to say his name three times and then he will appear.
EDWELL EDWELL EDWELL
edwell
+112 -0
Hmm. Y'know, what'd really slash expenses is holding the ceremony right here...
Hmm. Y'know, what'd really slash expenses is holding the ceremony right here...
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I just...I don't know where to start.
I just...I don't know where to start.
invidious
+0 -0
Edwell... I... just...
Forget it. Words are pointless.
Edwell... I... just...
Forget it. Words are pointless.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Oh Jeebus when I chubbied this it was 9 and it shot up to 17.
I predict great things for this asset.
I predict this.
Oh Jeebus when I chubbied this it was 9 and it shot up to 17.
I predict great things for this asset.
I predict this.
chuvak
+0 -0
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
drskradley
+0 -0
Of course, this was brilliant and gave me a massive Ache-boner, which I naturally passed onto you.
And secondly - don't you just love how any attempts at Ache-hookups are royally shat upon by Assetbarians making light of it and embarrassing the shit out of the couple?
FUCK KNOWS I DO! ***
*** This was going to be a link to that previous conversation between SpinyNorman and Margargaret, where they discussed how they live in the same town and started talking about that "costume shop" that really sells things of the dildoish variety, and the sexual tension and flirting was just great and obvious that they were gonna IM each other if we had such a function, and then I dropped a big turd on the fragile situation by making a noir fanfic about the two meeting in a dark alley and heading into said store of ill-repute - BUT the site is "undergoing maintenance" and won't let me :'(
A loser is us, here.
Of course, this was brilliant and gave me a massive Ache-boner, which I naturally passed onto you.
And secondly - don't you just love how any attempts at Ache-hookups are royally shat upon by Assetbarians making light of it and embarrassing the shit out of the couple?
FUCK KNOWS I DO! ***
*** This was going to be a link to that previous conversation between SpinyNorman and Margargaret, where they discussed how they live in the same town and started talking about that "costume shop" that really sells things of the dildoish variety, and the sexual tension and flirting was just great and obvious that they were gonna IM each other if we had such a function, and then I dropped a big turd on the fragile situation by making a noir fanfic about the two meeting in a dark alley and heading into said store of ill-repute - BUT the site is "undergoing maintenance" and won't let me :'(
A loser is us, here.
straw
+0 -0
But dude I totally remember that conversation so it's all right. And hillarious!
But dude I totally remember that conversation so it's all right. And hillarious!
spinynorman
+0 -0
Chances are she might have spun by the shop and seen all the flyers they put up about me, so it's all good
I mean that plane probably crash landed before it ever left the tarmac
Chances are she might have spun by the shop and seen all the flyers they put up about me, so it's all good
I mean that plane probably crash landed before it ever left the tarmac
comrade_tom
+0 -0
V chubbed... above and beyond the call of duty.
V chubbed... above and beyond the call of duty.
rotating-dog
+0 -0
We have here the zenith of Assetbar.
We have here the zenith of Assetbar.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Psssh, 160 chubbies? That fucker could max out and crash this damn place.
Psssh, 160 chubbies? That fucker could max out and crash this damn place.
tekende
+0 -0
oh my god
oh my god
steerpike66
+0 -0
Speech...speech....
Speech...speech....
bixschmix
+0 -0
Yeah... I... don't even know what to say.
Yeah... I... don't even know what to say.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Aww yeah, Pogo even broke out a post-1970's reference for the occasion.
Aww yeah, Pogo even broke out a post-1970's reference for the occasion.
pogo
+0 -0
Absolutely spot on, right down to the ***.
Damn, I look good in a collar! Gotta go bless some virgins.
Absolutely spot on, right down to the ***.
Damn, I look good in a collar! Gotta go bless some virgins.
tekende
+0 -0
Okay, guys, the pictures are gone now. This was fun, but you're all totally nuts. Now, I know you like us-- I like you too! --but I think that might be enough.
That said, let's all resume carrying on our normal Assetbar activities.
Okay, guys, the pictures are gone now. This was fun, but you're all totally nuts. Now, I know you like us-- I like you too! --but I think that might be enough.
That said, let's all resume carrying on our normal Assetbar activities.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Huzzah for internet! Huzzah for relations! Huzzah beards!
Huzzah for internet! Huzzah for relations! Huzzah beards!
achilleselbow
+2 -0
But what if people's "normal Assetbar activities" as of yesterday included planning erotic puppet theater shows with cardboard cutouts of your pictures that they hadn't bothered to print out yet?
But what if people's "normal Assetbar activities" as of yesterday included planning erotic puppet theater shows with cardboard cutouts of your pictures that they hadn't bothered to print out yet?
tekende
+0 -0
Then well done me for taking the pictures down?
Then well done me for taking the pictures down?
professorhazard
+0 -0
man I never even saw no pictures
man I never even saw no pictures
tekende
+0 -0
Well, you see the bride and the groom there on edwell's thing? Those are our faces on someone else's bodies.
Well, you see the bride and the groom there on edwell's thing? Those are our faces on someone else's bodies.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, my face anyway. It has since been modified.
Well, my face anyway. It has since been modified.
rykan
+0 -0
I missed everything :(
I missed everything :(
catgrl131
+1 -0
Me too! I'm so sad, as that would heve been awesome to see! C'mon, repost them? Just for the weekend? Please?
Me too! I'm so sad, as that would heve been awesome to see! C'mon, repost them? Just for the weekend? Please?
pogo
+0 -0
They were, well, just nice pictures. No "postions" or excess skin, as I imagine you'd like. Very much like the one remaining up there.
They were, well, just nice pictures. No "postions" or excess skin, as I imagine you'd like. Very much like the one remaining up there.
octafish
+0 -0
There was an awesome one of tekende by himself, all awkward, and gangly, uncomfortable with the camera pointed at him, it may have been one of the most adorable things I have ever seen. It reminded me of the awkwardness of youth and the uncomfortable knowledge that we are judged by our appearance, but we feel we do not fit into the norms of societies definition of "good looking" even though we do.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, maybe he had just done a 30 minute turd and bixschmix took a photo of him coming out of the bathroom.
*T and B* I appreciate you sharing and all and am sorry it got creepy for you.
There was an awesome one of tekende by himself, all awkward, and gangly, uncomfortable with the camera pointed at him, it may have been one of the most adorable things I have ever seen. It reminded me of the awkwardness of youth and the uncomfortable knowledge that we are judged by our appearance, but we feel we do not fit into the norms of societies definition of "good looking" even though we do.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, maybe he had just done a 30 minute turd and bixschmix took a photo of him coming out of the bathroom.
*T and B* I appreciate you sharing and all and am sorry it got creepy for you.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Uh, Pogo? Why would you imagine that that is waht I'm after? I'm not looking for bixschmix on tekende action here. I thought I made it semi-clear that I'm pretty innocent (except for the purposes of humor). You've just made me very uncomfortable.
Uh, Pogo? Why would you imagine that that is waht I'm after? I'm not looking for bixschmix on tekende action here. I thought I made it semi-clear that I'm pretty innocent (except for the purposes of humor). You've just made me very uncomfortable.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Pogo? Made someone uncomfortable ? Silly catgirl, that's just crazytalk!
Pogo? Made someone uncomfortable ? Silly catgirl, that's just crazytalk!
pogo
+1 -0
Okay, for the purposes of humor, no one is truly innocent, for our taste in humor is revelatory of our inner being, our id or subconscious, don't you think? Anyway, sorry if I made you uncomfortable by suggesting you wanted to see the loving couple in compromising positions, even if you secretly did.
Okay, for the purposes of humor, no one is truly innocent, for our taste in humor is revelatory of our inner being, our id or subconscious, don't you think? Anyway, sorry if I made you uncomfortable by suggesting you wanted to see the loving couple in compromising positions, even if you secretly did.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I feel I should reply with my kudos. A mere chubby doesn't express how good this is. I'd send you some of my teeth if Assetbar allowed this.
I feel I should reply with my kudos. A mere chubby doesn't express how good this is. I'd send you some of my teeth if Assetbar allowed this.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Yay, it worked
Yay, it worked
snidedk
+0 -0
This is the greatest thing.
This is the greatest thing.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Edwell, you are a Ninja Warrior All-Star, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
Edwell, you are a Ninja Warrior All-Star, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Edwell, are...are you a witch ?
Edwell, are...are you a witch ?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
YOU EVEN WENT BACK AND REDID HER FACE IN THE PIC WHEN SHE WASN'T UNIVERSALLY VISIBLE ANYMORE. HOW COULD YOU BE ANY BETTER AT THIS!!!!
YOU EVEN WENT BACK AND REDID HER FACE IN THE PIC WHEN SHE WASN'T UNIVERSALLY VISIBLE ANYMORE. HOW COULD YOU BE ANY BETTER AT THIS!!!!
echidnaboy
+0 -1
bixschmix is in a coma.
bixschmix is in a coma.
lambchop
+0 -0
Onstad could TOTALLY BE THE BEST MAN.
TOTALLY.
And Roast Beef could be do up the cards.
Onstad could TOTALLY BE THE BEST MAN.
TOTALLY.
And Roast Beef could be do up the cards.
doc_rostov
+7 -0
achilleselbow
+5 -0
I don't wanna claim credit for this, but I thought I'd share the results of our Facebook discussion:
Best Man: (undecided)
Worst Man: Dr. Manflesh
Old Man: Pogo
Little (Wo)man: Catgrl
Maid of Honor: Loneal
Maid of Honour: Heccibiggs
Also, if I am chosen for best man, I will perform the role in the manner of Slash in the November Rain video.
I don't wanna claim credit for this, but I thought I'd share the results of our Facebook discussion:
Best Man: (undecided)
Worst Man: Dr. Manflesh
Old Man: Pogo
Little (Wo)man: Catgrl
Maid of Honor: Loneal
Maid of Honour: Heccibiggs
Also, if I am chosen for best man, I will perform the role in the manner of Slash in the November Rain video.
straw
+0 -0
I suppose this is what I get for having a job the weekend everyone had their hands on their faces.
I suppose this is what I get for having a job the weekend everyone had their hands on their faces.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
I feel your pain. I was studying all fucking weekend. Got back on and found everyone had hands on their faces and knew each other's names! I was kind of sad about missing out on all that, but then significantly less sad when I took my seven AP tests and probably got about a semester's worth of college credit for $270 bucks instead of $25000.
My eyes say no, but my pocketbook says yes!
I feel your pain. I was studying all fucking weekend. Got back on and found everyone had hands on their faces and knew each other's names! I was kind of sad about missing out on all that, but then significantly less sad when I took my seven AP tests and probably got about a semester's worth of college credit for $270 bucks instead of $25000.
My eyes say no, but my pocketbook says yes!
straw
+0 -0
Yeah, when you put it that way, the two hundo I was able to plop on booze and floozies was pretty good. Well, I guess they weren't floozies, but rather my friends. But my friends can pretty sometimes be floozies.
Yeah, when you put it that way, the two hundo I was able to plop on booze and floozies was pretty good. Well, I guess they weren't floozies, but rather my friends. But my friends can pretty sometimes be floozies.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Would that I had your priorities in life, Doc. Would.
Would that I had your priorities in life, Doc. Would.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
The most important thing I got out of my crazy-odd number of AP hours was not starting as a freshman, which meant I got priority parking at the dorms. When your friends bitch about walking four miles in the rain with all their laundry on their back, while you park right next to the building, you will understand.
The most important thing I got out of my crazy-odd number of AP hours was not starting as a freshman, which meant I got priority parking at the dorms. When your friends bitch about walking four miles in the rain with all their laundry on their back, while you park right next to the building, you will understand.
charchar
+0 -0
I was killing myself with AP Euro at the time. I popped in, but the overwhelming guilt forced me to leave. Than k God I only had the one this year.
I was killing myself with AP Euro at the time. I popped in, but the overwhelming guilt forced me to leave. Than k God I only had the one this year.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Bah! In my day Euro was a sophomore level AP class. Entry shit. BAH!
Bah! In my day Euro was a sophomore level AP class. Entry shit. BAH!
charchar
+0 -0
It is a sophomore-level class here. Where I used to live (Texas) it was a senior course. I'm a junior, and went from being the child prodigy/ golden girl to that kid from Texas who is clearly mentally incapacitated by the smell of crude oil and cow poo.
[bitch]I have lived in Virginia since November, but most of my comments are Texocentric because VA is boring and I have no good stories about it, really. Also, my Euro teacher seems to really hate me.[/bitch]
It is a sophomore-level class here. Where I used to live (Texas) it was a senior course. I'm a junior, and went from being the child prodigy/ golden girl to that kid from Texas who is clearly mentally incapacitated by the smell of crude oil and cow poo.
[bitch]I have lived in Virginia since November, but most of my comments are Texocentric because VA is boring and I have no good stories about it, really. Also, my Euro teacher seems to really hate me.[/bitch]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
S'okay. I'm in Oklahoma, and we'd view you Texas people as fucking geniuses if you transfered here.
S'okay. I'm in Oklahoma, and we'd view you Texas people as fucking geniuses if you transfered here.
dapooka
+0 -0
I too feel your pain, Straw. And now I miss pictures of Acheworlers to boot - just when I was planning erotic puppet theater shows with cardboard cutouts of them!
I would like to thank Achilleselbow for giving me the phrasing to bring on the creepy.
I too feel your pain, Straw. And now I miss pictures of Acheworlers to boot - just when I was planning erotic puppet theater shows with cardboard cutouts of them!
I would like to thank Achilleselbow for giving me the phrasing to bring on the creepy.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I concur.
I concur.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Chubbied for the Maid of Honour.
Chubbied for the Maid of Honour.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Well, it just seemed valid. It's one time that crazy British spellings proved useful!
Well, it just seemed valid. It's one time that crazy British spellings proved useful!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Woo!
Woo!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
That comment right there wasn't really aimed at you, as I just realized it seemed as such
That comment right there wasn't really aimed at you, as I just realized it seemed as such
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I've got a chubby for the maid of honour
I've got a chubby for the maid of honour
nbgreene
+1 -0
i am unhappy with the direction assetbar is heading
i am unhappy with the direction assetbar is heading
invidious
+1 -0
It's okay, nbgreene, someday you'll find someone to love you, too.
It's okay, nbgreene, someday you'll find someone to love you, too.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
join Army.
join Army.
nbgreene
+0 -0
i'm a scholar. i prefer scholarly pursuits.
i'm a scholar. i prefer scholarly pursuits.
snidedk
+0 -0
Is there some Achewood Facebook group that isn't "Achewood: A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave"? I feel like I've missed out on joining an elite assetbarista club.
Is there some Achewood Facebook group that isn't "Achewood: A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave"? I feel like I've missed out on joining an elite assetbarista club.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I don't think there is. I was planning on starting one, though. An Assetbar one.
I don't think there is. I was planning on starting one, though. An Assetbar one.
loneal
+3 -0
Handfacebook?
Handfacebook?
snidedk
+0 -0
I support this idea!
I support this idea!
bixschmix
+0 -0
Nah, just like 10 of us somehow found each other and have been Wall-to-Walling. (That... sounds much dirtier than it is.)
Nah, just like 10 of us somehow found each other and have been Wall-to-Walling. (That... sounds much dirtier than it is.)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
There's one for Achewood Fans at NYU, but as far as I know that doesn't apply to anyone else here.
There's one for Achewood Fans at NYU, but as far as I know that doesn't apply to anyone else here.
catgrl131
+1 -0
I get to be Little (Wo)man! I feel so honoUred! *sniffles*
I get to be Little (Wo)man! I feel so honoUred! *sniffles*
drskradley
+0 -0
Having a party of any kind at the Manflesh estates strikes me as a bad idea for purely Caligula-related reasons.
I am, of course, just naturally assuming that the man is ferociously rich and throws sexually deviant Roman-themed celebrity coke parties.
Having a party of any kind at the Manflesh estates strikes me as a bad idea for purely Caligula-related reasons.
I am, of course, just naturally assuming that the man is ferociously rich and throws sexually deviant Roman-themed celebrity coke parties.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I think your assumptions there probably are eerily on target. I certainly picture him with wild Malcolm McDowell eyes.
I think your assumptions there probably are eerily on target. I certainly picture him with wild Malcolm McDowell eyes.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Clockwork Orange Malcolm McDowell, or Tank Girl Malcolm Mcdowell, both are crazy in their own little ways.
Clockwork Orange Malcolm McDowell, or Tank Girl Malcolm Mcdowell, both are crazy in their own little ways.
theboneorchard
+1 -0
Actually, probably Caligula Malcolm McDowell. All rubbin' some dude juice on his noggin.
Actually, probably Caligula Malcolm McDowell. All rubbin' some dude juice on his noggin.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Or maybe Heroes Malcolm McDowell, all healing people and shit.
Or maybe Heroes Malcolm McDowell, all healing people and shit.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
"dude juice" is one of my new favorite terms now. i'm all out of chubs, though.
"dude juice" is one of my new favorite terms now. i'm all out of chubs, though.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Either that, or he presides over gatherings of transvestites and heroin junkies around a trash can fire. With Manflesh, there is no middle ground.
Either that, or he presides over gatherings of transvestites and heroin junkies around a trash can fire. With Manflesh, there is no middle ground.
straw
+0 -0
Quote:
This is important to know and understand.
Quote:
With Manflesh, there is no middle ground.
This is important to know and understand.
charchar
+0 -0
I regret to inform you that I will not be attending, as my parents and friends have expressly forbidden me from the Manflesh Estates. It is a hella shady neighnourhood.
I regret to inform you that I will not be attending, as my parents and friends have expressly forbidden me from the Manflesh Estates. It is a hella shady neighnourhood.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
You are an underage female. There are laws keeping you away from places like that. Also, I'm not allowed to look at you when I talk to you, for reasons I explained to your parents when I moved into the neighborhood.
You are an underage female. There are laws keeping you away from places like that. Also, I'm not allowed to look at you when I talk to you, for reasons I explained to your parents when I moved into the neighborhood.
straw
+0 -0
I volunteer to be the bartender/resident professional drunkard.
I volunteer to be the bartender/resident professional drunkard.
hedonismbot
+0 -1
Maybe you didn't see the extended pics of loneal and Hecci...
Maybe you didn't see the extended pics of loneal and Hecci...
pogo
+8 -0
That was no hook .... wait ... you mean girls can do it with each other! Hells a blazin'!
That was no hook .... wait ... you mean girls can do it with each other! Hells a blazin'!
morypcaina
+0 -0
Wait, there was no wedding involved!! Chicks musta had a lot of Cuervo.
Wait, there was no wedding involved!! Chicks musta had a lot of Cuervo.
straw
+0 -0
Definite chubby for "hells a blazin'!"
Definite chubby for "hells a blazin'!"
yearsinhotclaws
+3 -1
Pogo is so old that he hasn't heard of lesbianism.
Pogo is so old that he hasn't heard of lesbianism.
daidai
+9 -0
In his day they were called "witches".
In his day they were called "witches".
spinynorman
+1 -0
"In many books upon the subject of witchcraft, most of witchcraft is described as naked rituals done on moonlit nights with many strange and often noxious ingredients. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men."
Quoting Pratchett from memory.
"In many books upon the subject of witchcraft, most of witchcraft is described as naked rituals done on moonlit nights with many strange and often noxious ingredients. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men."
Quoting Pratchett from memory.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hardcore, man! Hardcore!
I pulled out Wyrd Sisters to check this, but now that I think about, it might have come from Good Omens. I could grab each of these books from where I'm sitting by closing my eyes and waving my hand about, but unfortunately there isn't any ctrl-f function for printed literature.
What a world!
Hardcore, man! Hardcore!
I pulled out Wyrd Sisters to check this, but now that I think about, it might have come from Good Omens. I could grab each of these books from where I'm sitting by closing my eyes and waving my hand about, but unfortunately there isn't any ctrl-f function for printed literature.
What a world!
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yep, it's Good Omens.
Senses of humor travel in packs. The ones that resemble one another stay close. Hence why I can toss out an Arrested Development of Wodehouse joke on here and have a fair few people totally get me.
Yep, it's Good Omens.
Senses of humor travel in packs. The ones that resemble one another stay close. Hence why I can toss out an Arrested Development of Wodehouse joke on here and have a fair few people totally get me.
tekende
+0 -0
It is not Good Omens, or else it is there and somewhere else, because I recognized having read that before but I have not read Good Omens, whereas I have read all of the Discworld novels.
It is not Good Omens, or else it is there and somewhere else, because I recognized having read that before but I have not read Good Omens, whereas I have read all of the Discworld novels.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Pratchett's known to recycle jokes once in a while. It's in the part with Anathema Device when she measures the ley lines.
Pratchett's known to recycle jokes once in a while. It's in the part with Anathema Device when she measures the ley lines.
stereo
+0 -0
Good Omens (p.87, pp.99, 1990):
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
The closest reference I can find in Wyrd Sisters (p. 57, pp.8 footnote, 1989 Corgi)
"I've heard about witches," said the duke, who had spent the night before reading, until his bandaged hands shook too much, some of the more excitable works on the subject.*
*Written by wizards, who are celibate and get some pretty funny ideas about four o'clock in the morning.
I expect there's a closer quote in another Witches book but I haven't been able to find it.
Good Omens (p.87, pp.99, 1990):
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
The closest reference I can find in Wyrd Sisters (p. 57, pp.8 footnote, 1989 Corgi)
"I've heard about witches," said the duke, who had spent the night before reading, until his bandaged hands shook too much, some of the more excitable works on the subject.*
*Written by wizards, who are celibate and get some pretty funny ideas about four o'clock in the morning.
I expect there's a closer quote in another Witches book but I haven't been able to find it.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Quote:
Actually, there is .
Quote:
unfortunately there isn't any ctrl-f function for printed literature.
Actually, there is .
dapooka
+0 -0
Yes. Chubby for the Good Omens reference.
Yes. Chubby for the Good Omens reference.
shankley
+0 -0
At first i thought why would i click on that? of what interest is it to me? and then my inability to resist the internet overcame my willpower and i did click. now i feel slightly ashamed.
At first i thought why would i click on that? of what interest is it to me? and then my inability to resist the internet overcame my willpower and i did click. now i feel slightly ashamed.
dr_strangeglove
+4 -0
So I just watched Eagle vs. Shark and the fact that you seem happy with someone makes me realize that it's not just something that happens in movies. There is hope for me, too!
I hate you two so much.
So I just watched Eagle vs. Shark and the fact that you seem happy with someone makes me realize that it's not just something that happens in movies. There is hope for me, too!
I hate you two so much.
loneal
+1 -0
I have commented on y'all's cuteness on Facebook, but it deserves just all sorts of comments all the time. I hope three and a half days is enough time to know you want to get married, because right now all of us are counting on you to get married. No pressure.
I have commented on y'all's cuteness on Facebook, but it deserves just all sorts of comments all the time. I hope three and a half days is enough time to know you want to get married, because right now all of us are counting on you to get married. No pressure.
tekende
+0 -0
That's cool
That's cool
bixschmix
+0 -0
Oh yeah man uh nobody's brought up that issue as of yet you're the first for sure
PS You will have to organize the bachelorette party in tandem with heccibiggs
PPS No but really it was a fun 3 days
Oh yeah man uh nobody's brought up that issue as of yet you're the first for sure
PS You will have to organize the bachelorette party in tandem with heccibiggs
PPS No but really it was a fun 3 days
loneal
+0 -0
When I made this comment originally there was not all that marriage stuff up there. I swears it.
When I made this comment originally there was not all that marriage stuff up there. I swears it.
tekende
+0 -0
I know, I remember. This whole thing has really just gotten out of hand; it is not your fault.
I know, I remember. This whole thing has really just gotten out of hand; it is not your fault.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Dude, don't waste that prime Assetbar real-estate up there. At least change the picture to something funny. Like two lolcats getting married.
Dude, don't waste that prime Assetbar real-estate up there. At least change the picture to something funny. Like two lolcats getting married.
tekende
+0 -0
I can't. The picture is gone from flickr. I cannot recreate something in its place.
I can't. The picture is gone from flickr. I cannot recreate something in its place.
paperboy_2000
+8 -0
And AssetBar is back! I thought Onstad had shut it down for good. He was like, "Uh, oh. Now they are breeding. I need to put an end to this."
And AssetBar is back! I thought Onstad had shut it down for good. He was like, "Uh, oh. Now they are breeding. I need to put an end to this."
chuvak
+1 -0
No, it was more like RUN SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!
No, it was more like RUN SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!
hamscout
+0 -0
BixTek, I would comment on the dangers of internet dating, but my wife and I met through an internet-based 3-minute-dating group...
*cheers!*
BixTek, I would comment on the dangers of internet dating, but my wife and I met through an internet-based 3-minute-dating group...
*cheers!*
hedonismbot
+4 -0
Funny, that's how I met your wife too.
Funny, that's how I met your wife too.
pogo
+0 -0
Your mom's on Match.com
Your mom's on Match.com
hedonismbot
+0 -0
No, my mom's on 2girls1cup
No, my mom's on 2girls1cup
hamscout
+1 -0
D...D... DAD?!?
D...D... DAD?!?
fuckyoufriday
+4 -1
Hey, do you guys like achewood?
Hey, do you guys like achewood?
pogo
+0 -0
Nice reminder of where we are, but in this case, the mating ritual of real Assetbarbarians is overlapping with the cartoon world drama. So we're not that far off-topic.
Nice reminder of where we are, but in this case, the mating ritual of real Assetbarbarians is overlapping with the cartoon world drama. So we're not that far off-topic.
handheld
+0 -0
A Topher Grace look-a-like doesn't strike me as a margarita on the rocks kind of dude.
A Topher Grace look-a-like doesn't strike me as a margarita on the rocks kind of dude.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I think it necessary that we come up with some kind of power-couple name for the two of you. Y'know, like TomKat. But I can't think of anything because I'm not good with words in that way, so someone else do it. Like "tekenschmix". Only less shit.
I think it necessary that we come up with some kind of power-couple name for the two of you. Y'know, like TomKat. But I can't think of anything because I'm not good with words in that way, so someone else do it. Like "tekenschmix". Only less shit.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Also I kind of hate myself for this suggestion. But I'm standing by it.
Also I kind of hate myself for this suggestion. But I'm standing by it.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I was thinking maybe bixende, still terrible, but pretty much any amalgam of the two names turns out poorly. Their names are unamalgamatable, and I think I may have created a new word.
I was thinking maybe bixende, still terrible, but pretty much any amalgam of the two names turns out poorly. Their names are unamalgamatable, and I think I may have created a new word.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
"Bixen". There we go.
"Bixen". There we go.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I just had another thought, bixtek, it is the only one that doesn't sound ridiculous. Also, you could soften the x and pronounce it "bistec" which is I believe French for beef steak, which is awesome.
I just had another thought, bixtek, it is the only one that doesn't sound ridiculous. Also, you could soften the x and pronounce it "bistec" which is I believe French for beef steak, which is awesome.
pogo
+4 -0
Bixtek, when you need the very best in business technology, count on the leader, Bixtek. (Copywriting is what I do.)
Bixtek, when you need the very best in business technology, count on the leader, Bixtek. (Copywriting is what I do.)
morypcaina
+0 -0
I agree with your spelling, but prefer "Bishtek", with the "x" being pronounced like an Aztec or Mayan person ( hecho en Mexico *) would pronounce it.
The French word is "biftec" IIRC.
*I would not equate someone (especially not someone who isn't a rich light-skinned person of European extract) with a product were it not a way for me to refer to a previous Achewood strip. Also, I've forgotten whether the Aztec/Maya actually pronounced "x" this way or whether it was the Mixtec/Olmec/Teotihuacan (or some mix thereof (har har)) who did it that way. [citation needed]
I agree with your spelling, but prefer "Bishtek", with the "x" being pronounced like an Aztec or Mayan person ( hecho en Mexico *) would pronounce it.
The French word is "biftec" IIRC.
*I would not equate someone (especially not someone who isn't a rich light-skinned person of European extract) with a product were it not a way for me to refer to a previous Achewood strip. Also, I've forgotten whether the Aztec/Maya actually pronounced "x" this way or whether it was the Mixtec/Olmec/Teotihuacan (or some mix thereof (har har)) who did it that way. [citation needed]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yeah, well your breath smells like chimichangas.
Yeah, well your breath smells like chimichangas.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Is that racist?
(It's the next line of dialogue in that reference, I am not being serious)
Is that racist?
(It's the next line of dialogue in that reference, I am not being serious)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Reference?
Reference?
spinynorman
+0 -0
That's a direct line from Scrubs, unless I'm mistaken.
That's a direct line from Scrubs, unless I'm mistaken.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It is, I was just trying to obliquely make a joke on my own racism. What larks!
It is, I was just trying to obliquely make a joke on my own racism. What larks!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I don't know, did you eat Chimichangas this morning?
I don't know, did you eat Chimichangas this morning?
spinynorman
+0 -0
HE GETS IT
HE GETS IT
charchar
+0 -0
...and for the new year, I resolve to scroll down before posting.
...and for the new year, I resolve to scroll down before posting.
charchar
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
That depends: did you have chimichangas for breakfast?
colorlessness
+0 -0
I feel like if you flip it around, 'tekbix' rolls off the tongue slightly easier. Only not really, because really both of them sound like names formed from multinational corporate mergers.
I feel like if you flip it around, 'tekbix' rolls off the tongue slightly easier. Only not really, because really both of them sound like names formed from multinational corporate mergers.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Is your avataricon a Day of the Dead skull with a United Nations helmet on it?
Is your avataricon a Day of the Dead skull with a United Nations helmet on it?
colorlessness
+0 -0
It's a skull with a UN helmet for sure. The photo was supposedly taken in Yugoslavia/Serbia/Kosovo during that war they had there, although I cannot personally attest to the veracity of that. The full photo shows the skull nicely posed on the hood of somebody's car.
It's a skull with a UN helmet for sure. The photo was supposedly taken in Yugoslavia/Serbia/Kosovo during that war they had there, although I cannot personally attest to the veracity of that. The full photo shows the skull nicely posed on the hood of somebody's car.
pogo
+0 -0
Those southern Slavs, such droll senses of humor!
Those southern Slavs, such droll senses of humor!
spinynorman
+0 -0
These all sound like breakfast cereal names to me.
These all sound like breakfast cereal names to me.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Tek Schmix. It's like Tex-Mex, or a novel by William Shatner.
Tek Schmix. It's like Tex-Mex, or a novel by William Shatner.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Or Tekende Schmekende if you're not into, you know, the whole brevity thing.
Or Tekende Schmekende if you're not into, you know, the whole brevity thing.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
By "rad time" you mean sex right?
Not that I'm saying you should sleep with strangers on the internet, but that would be cool if you guys ended up getting married all because of a webcomic.
By "rad time" you mean sex right?
Not that I'm saying you should sleep with strangers on the internet, but that would be cool if you guys ended up getting married all because of a webcomic.
spinynorman
+5 -0
That would be one of the nerdiest wedding toasts ever. So many internet references. They'd say they're gonna show you a slideshow but then it just turns out to be RickRoll.
That would be one of the nerdiest wedding toasts ever. So many internet references. They'd say they're gonna show you a slideshow but then it just turns out to be RickRoll.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Dr. Manflesh will read the wedding vows.
Dr. Manflesh will read the wedding vows.
invidious
+11 -0
I expect they'll go something like this...
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.
I expect they'll go something like this...
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Man, where the fuck has Manflesh been, anyway? I miss that guy
Man, where the fuck has Manflesh been, anyway? I miss that guy
lawbot
+0 -0
I miss him too. I guess he's busy making the final push to submit his thesis.
I miss him too. I guess he's busy making the final push to submit his thesis.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
I think he has been lamed and marked as spam so many times that he can only return to our dimension once every millenia.
I think he has been lamed and marked as spam so many times that he can only return to our dimension once every millenia.
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
Yes, Dr. Manflesh is like the Halley's Comet of Assetbearers. Every now and then, some feisty upstart will try to mimic his style, only to end up the Shoemaker-Levy of Assetbarriers.
Yes, Dr. Manflesh is like the Halley's Comet of Assetbearers. Every now and then, some feisty upstart will try to mimic his style, only to end up the Shoemaker-Levy of Assetbarriers.
colorlessness
+0 -0
chubby for 'Assetbarriers' which is clearly the correct collective noun.
chubby for 'Assetbarriers' which is clearly the correct collective noun.
odei
+0 -0
I'm sticking with 'Assetbitches'. No offense to any of you Assetbitches, of course!
I'm sticking with 'Assetbitches'. No offense to any of you Assetbitches, of course!
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I also like "assetbastards", and of course, "assetbarbarians"
I also like "assetbastards", and of course, "assetbarbarians"
hamscout
+0 -0
How about "Assetteers" for the new folks?
How about "Assetteers" for the new folks?
pogo
+0 -0
"Assetteers" sounds too Disney.
"Assetteers" sounds too Disney.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Assetbaristas
Assetbaristas
hamscout
+0 -0
I'll take a Venti mocha light frappuchino, light on the whip.
ooooh... muffins!
I'll take a Venti mocha light frappuchino, light on the whip.
ooooh... muffins!
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
It's true: employers don't hire crying people.
It's true: employers don't hire crying people.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I am completely sending this to people.
I am completely sending this to people.
invidious
+0 -0
I can't claim it as an original work, but I laughed like hell when I first saw it.
I can't claim it as an original work, but I laughed like hell when I first saw it.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
TSFDMP;DR
(Too Short For a Dr. Manflesh Post; Didn't Read)
TSFDMP;DR
(Too Short For a Dr. Manflesh Post; Didn't Read)
maximus
+0 -0
just don't plan on playing the tape for your children - it will make leisure suits look timeless
just don't plan on playing the tape for your children - it will make leisure suits look timeless
lastlarf
+0 -0
Speaking of which, where is that rapscallion of late? Tired of his notoriety maybe?
Speaking of which, where is that rapscallion of late? Tired of his notoriety maybe?
maximus
+0 -0
I expect we get him in his moments of lucidity.
I expect we get him in his moments of lucidity.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Yeah, I hope he comes back though. It always made for interesting conversation
Yeah, I hope he comes back though. It always made for interesting conversation
loneal
+0 -0
The wedding singer will be that Numa Numa guy. The placeholders at the tables will be PostSecrets.
The wedding singer will be that Numa Numa guy. The placeholders at the tables will be PostSecrets.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
The ring bearer will be a Stuff on My Cat cat with a pillow tied around its waist.
The caterer? Well, let's just say that this will be one wedding where the guests can has their cheeseburgers if they want them.
The ring bearer will be a Stuff on My Cat cat with a pillow tied around its waist.
The caterer? Well, let's just say that this will be one wedding where the guests can has their cheeseburgers if they want them.
straw
+0 -0
Molly and Roast Beef are cats.
Molly and Roast Beef are cats.
ethelthefrog
+0 -1
Noooooooooo, really? Are you sure ? 'Cause I thought they were wild stoats. Ass.
Noooooooooo, really? Are you sure ? 'Cause I thought they were wild stoats. Ass.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Huge slam on asses out of nowhere.
Huge slam on asses out of nowhere.
morypcaina
+1 -0
That's how I was born.
That's how I was born.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I think straw was being referential, to a degree.
I think straw was being referential, to a degree.
catgrl131
+1 -0
And when you walk in, you have to choose: eyepatch and pirate hat, or ninja mask? So much depends on your choice.
Holy fuck on a duck, this is so awesome, now I am wishing so hard for this to be a Thing.
And when you walk in, you have to choose: eyepatch and pirate hat, or ninja mask? So much depends on your choice.
Holy fuck on a duck, this is so awesome, now I am wishing so hard for this to be a Thing.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Probably what kids call it these days, with their baggy pants and their Myfaces or whatever the devil their called...
Probably what kids call it these days, with their baggy pants and their Myfaces or whatever the devil their called...
straw
+0 -0
But you should totally sleep with strangers on the internet.
But you should totally sleep with strangers on the internet.
pogo
+0 -0
Bless you, my children.
Bless you, my children.
pogo
+0 -0
(How did that end up here in the queue? Anyway, I posted it long before edwell made me a clergyman. Psychic? Or just Psick?)
(How did that end up here in the queue? Anyway, I posted it long before edwell made me a clergyman. Psychic? Or just Psick?)
miseryandthesun
+1 -0
I am trying to the best of my ability , and I just cannot help but to find this slightly creepy .
I am trying to the best of my ability , and I just cannot help but to find this slightly creepy .
falseprophet
+5 -0
Dude come on it's not like tekende is the main pervert of the internet at least not anymore I mean this is nowhere near creepy as the time he called blarghamagarky cute on the internet. Fact, I would say our boy tek has grown up quite a ways since that embarrassing-ass day. No longer is he just one of the nervous nerdy dudes talkin about a webcomic with other nervous nerdy dudes now he is one of the confident nerdy dudes talkin about a webcomic with his nerdy lady all whispering sweet nothings about givin her huuuuugs in that elegant, classical way , no need for a lamp to illuminate their goings-on.
But we have to admit that without grandiose expansive motherfuckers like him walking through life with their heads held high and their hearts takin on all comers Would the Great Handface Weekend even have been possible? so ain't no need for you to kill the computer like Cornelius in fact you should join me in congratulatin tekende on the progress he has made as an Officer and a Gentlemen I guess what I am trying to say is
tekende This Is Your Life
Dude come on it's not like tekende is the main pervert of the internet at least not anymore I mean this is nowhere near creepy as the time he called blarghamagarky cute on the internet. Fact, I would say our boy tek has grown up quite a ways since that embarrassing-ass day. No longer is he just one of the nervous nerdy dudes talkin about a webcomic with other nervous nerdy dudes now he is one of the confident nerdy dudes talkin about a webcomic with his nerdy lady all whispering sweet nothings about givin her huuuuugs in that elegant, classical way , no need for a lamp to illuminate their goings-on.
But we have to admit that without grandiose expansive motherfuckers like him walking through life with their heads held high and their hearts takin on all comers Would the Great Handface Weekend even have been possible? so ain't no need for you to kill the computer like Cornelius in fact you should join me in congratulatin tekende on the progress he has made as an Officer and a Gentlemen I guess what I am trying to say is
tekende This Is Your Life
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I am interested in who is the main pervert of the internet. And don't say that Nolan guy, you can only talk about pervs that are alive.
I am interested in who is the main pervert of the internet. And don't say that Nolan guy, you can only talk about pervs that are alive.
octafish
+0 -0
You throwing your hat into the ring?
You throwing your hat into the ring?
straw
+0 -0
I think that was a good time for all of us. For example:
Guys! I was huge!
I think that was a good time for all of us. For example:
Guys! I was huge!
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
I don't even mean to sound bitter about it. I have a girl in my life.
It just sets off my creepdar.
I don't even mean to sound bitter about it. I have a girl in my life.
It just sets off my creepdar.
miseryandthesun
+6 -0
Did I say girl? Because I meant girls.
As MANY of you know, I'm massively insecure and unable to comprehend the benefits of not posting pictures of the girl I just hooked up with on the internet where any old cyber-jockey can photoshop her face to high heavens. I am also a janitor at Macy's. Meet my babes:
Did I say girl? Because I meant girls.
As MANY of you know, I'm massively insecure and unable to comprehend the benefits of not posting pictures of the girl I just hooked up with on the internet where any old cyber-jockey can photoshop her face to high heavens. I am also a janitor at Macy's. Meet my babes:
octafish
+2 -0
Well, you're either Preston Payne AKA Clayface,
or Andrew McCarthy.
Myself I'd rather be Clayface.
Well, you're either Preston Payne AKA Clayface,
or Andrew McCarthy.
Myself I'd rather be Clayface.
turnabout
+0 -0
this just pushed this over the top as the best comment thread ever
this just pushed this over the top as the best comment thread ever
straw
+0 -0
Just wait until people on the East Coast get their grubby mitts full into it!
Just wait until people on the East Coast get their grubby mitts full into it!
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
HOT
HOT
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
Your saying if you were a woman you would actually be afraid of someone photoshopping your face?
Your saying if you were a woman you would actually be afraid of someone photoshopping your face?
spinynorman
+0 -0
man did we ever learn if that was really her in her avatar
man did we ever learn if that was really her in her avatar
pogo
+0 -0
Now that I see more pics of her, I think the avatar was her.
Now that I see more pics of her, I think the avatar was her.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Are you talking about me? Because it is me. Just me in my slightly younger days.
Are you talking about me? Because it is me. Just me in my slightly younger days.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Actually I was talking about blargamagarky, as she was the center of that enormous shitstorm. Again we see the issues of directly responding to an old and popular post.
Actually I was talking about blargamagarky, as she was the center of that enormous shitstorm. Again we see the issues of directly responding to an old and popular post.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I even put my finger on my screen and scrolled up... sigh.
I even put my finger on my screen and scrolled up... sigh.
pogo
+0 -0
My bad, I jumped to a conclusion. For the record, blargamagarky's image was like the Virgin of Guadaloupe, only naked. (I'm not good at images.)
My bad, I jumped to a conclusion. For the record, blargamagarky's image was like the Virgin of Guadaloupe, only naked. (I'm not good at images.)
tekende
+0 -0
It is now, yeah. It wasn't when the situation in question occurred. It was just her in a T-shirt.
It is now, yeah. It wasn't when the situation in question occurred. It was just her in a T-shirt.
irondave
+0 -0
It was her, I'm sure of it. She may be in hiding now for some reason.
It was her, I'm sure of it. She may be in hiding now for some reason.
tekende
+0 -0
Come on, the blargamagarky thing--if she hadn't gotten all lady-angry-huffy about it, that wouldn't really have been creepy. All I said was that she was cute.
But, uh, thanks, I think?
Come on, the blargamagarky thing--if she hadn't gotten all lady-angry-huffy about it, that wouldn't really have been creepy. All I said was that she was cute.
But, uh, thanks, I think?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Didn't she have a beard.
Didn't she have a beard.
tekende
+0 -0
When she changed her icon to a pic of her as Prince, yes.
When she changed her icon to a pic of her as Prince, yes.
spinynorman
+0 -0
We all keep a detailed log of her internet actions. Detailed.
We all keep a detailed log of her internet actions. Detailed.
pogo
+0 -0
This thread will make it easy for the Perv Police to round us all up!
This thread will make it easy for the Perv Police to round us all up!
hamscout
+0 -0
I hope to have 'alreadyinuse25' transferred to your flash drive in the next hour-
Then you should drive as fast as you can to the secluded glade at the coordinates I gave you... Sweet joy! I shall soon be [i[Free![/i]
I hope to have 'alreadyinuse25' transferred to your flash drive in the next hour-
Then you should drive as fast as you can to the secluded glade at the coordinates I gave you... Sweet joy! I shall soon be [i[Free![/i]
tekende
+1 -0
Look, when you spend as much time on Assetbar as I do, you're bound to remember a lot of crap that doesn't really matter until a discussion like this comes up.
Look, when you spend as much time on Assetbar as I do, you're bound to remember a lot of crap that doesn't really matter until a discussion like this comes up.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I will probably not remember this, but it'll be more for chemical reasons than anything.
I will probably not remember this, but it'll be more for chemical reasons than anything.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Props to tekende, just for being honest.
(do you kids still say props?)
Props to tekende, just for being honest.
(do you kids still say props?)
mike24
+0 -0
I was hell of expecting some naked ones. make with it.
I was hell of expecting some naked ones. make with it.
theirateturk
+2 -0
"MY GIRLFRIEND"
"MY GIRLFRIEND"
baryonyx
+0 -0
Aw. How very cute.
NEXT TIME ON ASSETBAR: BARYONYX THROWS HIMSELF OFF A PRETTY TALL BUILDING!
Aw. How very cute.
NEXT TIME ON ASSETBAR: BARYONYX THROWS HIMSELF OFF A PRETTY TALL BUILDING!
charchar
+1 -0
Don't do it! You are the last living dinosaur, baryonyx!
Think of the children .
Don't do it! You are the last living dinosaur, baryonyx!
Think of the children .
baryonyx
+0 -0
I just feel so alone.
i.e. there are no other dinosaurs in the world.
I just feel so alone.
i.e. there are no other dinosaurs in the world.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -1
Tekende all the bitches on assetbar are pretty much mine but you can have that one I guess.
Tekende all the bitches on assetbar are pretty much mine but you can have that one I guess.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
and it ends up miles away from the original post, of course.
and it ends up miles away from the original post, of course.
glyc
+1 -2
I dunno man are you sure about this... three days? Shouldn't you give it a week at least? Did you consult outside impartial counsel? Was there a double-blind trial involved?
This might seem a little not nice to say.. let me see if I can phrase it more politely... hmm okay, see people's personalities can be read on their faces, because different emotional states of mind result in different facial expressions, and as a result, people's facial muscles become formed to their average facial expressions. It's not an objective science or anything, but you can certainly get a subjective vibe about someone just by looking at their face. And so, well, to put it politely, and indirectly, I get a different vibe from both you and her. I get the vibes of two people who are fundamentally incompatible. If you two have kids, they will likely grow up to be as dysfunctional as certain Achewood characters.
God sakes... Think about it... do you really want to have kids together? What are you going to tell your future kids when they ask you (probably over a prison plexiglass phone) "how did you and mom select the joint culture and family value set that resulted in such dire circumstances?"
"Well, uh, Bobby-Ray, you see there was this internet chat room, and one day everyone started putting up pictures of themselves with their faces half obscured by their hands, and by the time the initial wonderlust had worn off and hormons had settled to a point where rational thought was again allowing us to pay attention to each other's personalities..."
If the reason you can't break up now that your reasoning facilities have been restored is that you have already conceived your children, turn to page 5.
If the reason you can't break up now is that you are too lazy, turn to page 17.
I dunno man are you sure about this... three days? Shouldn't you give it a week at least? Did you consult outside impartial counsel? Was there a double-blind trial involved?
This might seem a little not nice to say.. let me see if I can phrase it more politely... hmm okay, see people's personalities can be read on their faces, because different emotional states of mind result in different facial expressions, and as a result, people's facial muscles become formed to their average facial expressions. It's not an objective science or anything, but you can certainly get a subjective vibe about someone just by looking at their face. And so, well, to put it politely, and indirectly, I get a different vibe from both you and her. I get the vibes of two people who are fundamentally incompatible. If you two have kids, they will likely grow up to be as dysfunctional as certain Achewood characters.
God sakes... Think about it... do you really want to have kids together? What are you going to tell your future kids when they ask you (probably over a prison plexiglass phone) "how did you and mom select the joint culture and family value set that resulted in such dire circumstances?"
"Well, uh, Bobby-Ray, you see there was this internet chat room, and one day everyone started putting up pictures of themselves with their faces half obscured by their hands, and by the time the initial wonderlust had worn off and hormons had settled to a point where rational thought was again allowing us to pay attention to each other's personalities..."
If the reason you can't break up now that your reasoning facilities have been restored is that you have already conceived your children, turn to page 5.
If the reason you can't break up now is that you are too lazy, turn to page 17.
tekende
+0 -0
I...what
Man, ain't no one seriously talking about getting married or having childrens all up ins
You crazy
I...what
Man, ain't no one seriously talking about getting married or having childrens all up ins
You crazy
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I'd be more insulted by the insinuation that you would name your child Bobby-Ray. He thinks you are of low mind.
Also, I would note that the nonsense about reading the 'vibes' on your faces and the general rambling tone makes this guy sound suspiciously like alreadyinuse.
I'd be more insulted by the insinuation that you would name your child Bobby-Ray. He thinks you are of low mind.
Also, I would note that the nonsense about reading the 'vibes' on your faces and the general rambling tone makes this guy sound suspiciously like alreadyinuse.
loneal
+1 -0
Ooooh, good call. Good call.
Even if you're wrong, that face vibes bit is the best thing I've read all week. Apparently hooking up with someone from the Internet is a bad idea, but it's a good idea to take advice from someone on the Internet who says your face vibes are fundamentally incompatible.
Ooooh, good call. Good call.
Even if you're wrong, that face vibes bit is the best thing I've read all week. Apparently hooking up with someone from the Internet is a bad idea, but it's a good idea to take advice from someone on the Internet who says your face vibes are fundamentally incompatible.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
One of the benefits of not having your face as your avatar is avoiding the initial snap face-vibe judgment.
The one that tells me that you are seven kinds of compatible with the face-vibe guy.
The one that tells me this right now.
One of the benefits of not having your face as your avatar is avoiding the initial snap face-vibe judgment.
The one that tells me that you are seven kinds of compatible with the face-vibe guy.
The one that tells me this right now.
loneal
+0 -0
Y-you're reading my face vibes all wrong! Stop your divination and your witchcraft!
Y-you're reading my face vibes all wrong! Stop your divination and your witchcraft!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
What if your avatar is an illustration of you face
What if your avatar is an illustration of you face
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Then you, my friend, have a lot of repenting to do.
Then you, my friend, have a lot of repenting to do.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I'd better get started, then. So, long achewood community. So good to almost know you
I'd better get started, then. So, long achewood community. So good to almost know you
spinynorman
+0 -0
J... Jesus?
J... Jesus?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
No, but he is centuries old...
No, but he is centuries old...
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Oh my god, I do kind of look like that guy.
Oh my god, I do kind of look like that guy.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Your self-portrait does a bit, at least.
Your self-portrait does a bit, at least.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Sigh, like I've never heard that one before
Sigh, like I've never heard that one before
bixschmix
+0 -0
You know we're not actually engaged, right? THIS IS THE INTERNET
You know we're not actually engaged, right? THIS IS THE INTERNET
glyc
+0 -0
(ouch!)
bixschmix: THIS IS THE INTERNET
tekende: I...what?
(ouch!)
bixschmix: THIS IS THE INTERNET
tekende: I...what?
bixschmix
+0 -0
But... but he said the exact same thing one post above me. glyc I think you are reading far too much into, well, everything.
But... but he said the exact same thing one post above me. glyc I think you are reading far too much into, well, everything.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Haha, what the hell?
Haha, what the hell?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
10 bucks says this guy gets out of jury duty by telling the judge he can tell if a persons guilty by how far apart there eyes are.
10 bucks says this guy gets out of jury duty by telling the judge he can tell if a persons guilty by how far apart there eyes are.
glyc
+0 -0
that's ridiculous. everyone knows that has nothing to do with anything. It's the slant that matters.
also... see my brilliant rebuttal on tomorrow's page.
that's ridiculous. everyone knows that has nothing to do with anything. It's the slant that matters.
also... see my brilliant rebuttal on tomorrow's page.
clintisiceman
+1 -0
It's good to see Beef gettin' mad and doing something under circumstances when he would usually feel real low. As long as he keeps getting past his issues with graphic design and doesn't start calling morning radio shows to vent hell of grievances, I will be happy for him.
It's good to see Beef gettin' mad and doing something under circumstances when he would usually feel real low. As long as he keeps getting past his issues with graphic design and doesn't start calling morning radio shows to vent hell of grievances, I will be happy for him.
weapon86
+0 -0
A ring a ding ding...chubbied for use of The Murray in an avatar.
A ring a ding ding...chubbied for use of The Murray in an avatar.
maximus
+0 -0
there are no rough chuckles here
there are no rough chuckles here
lawbot
+0 -0
I would like to think that this strip is an allegory for loneal's journey on yesterday's strip's comments.
I would like to think that this strip is an allegory for loneal's journey on yesterday's strip's comments.
mr_lostman28
+1 -0
Man even I shuddered when Beef saw the price of that dress.
And I ain't even getting married. That is real rough dog.
p.s. the cross-stitching on his shirt is ridiculous!
Man even I shuddered when Beef saw the price of that dress.
And I ain't even getting married. That is real rough dog.
p.s. the cross-stitching on his shirt is ridiculous!
faburobin
+0 -0
Seems like Roast Beef may be on his upward swing. Must be the longer days.
Seems like Roast Beef may be on his upward swing. Must be the longer days.
aelindil
+1 -0
As a chica who is going through the Oh Dear God How Much Is This Gonna Cost stage of engagement right now, I would subscribe to Beef's wedding mag in a heartbeat.
As a chica who is going through the Oh Dear God How Much Is This Gonna Cost stage of engagement right now, I would subscribe to Beef's wedding mag in a heartbeat.
midget_jones
+1 -0
As a member of a covers band, I have to say that roast beef weddings are already ten a penny. You know it's going to be cheap when the entire buffet started life frozen and ended up deep-fried.
As a member of a covers band, I have to say that roast beef weddings are already ten a penny. You know it's going to be cheap when the entire buffet started life frozen and ended up deep-fried.
overmedicated
+11 -0
Yo're in a covers band.
How can you possibly comment on matters of taste.
Yo're in a covers band.
How can you possibly comment on matters of taste.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I chubbied your comment, and with my very click, it went from 2 to 4 chubbies. For some reason, I feel suddenly imbued with a power far out of proportion to the action itself.
I chubbied your comment, and with my very click, it went from 2 to 4 chubbies. For some reason, I feel suddenly imbued with a power far out of proportion to the action itself.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
One time I did that and it went up but three . That shit was awesome.
One time I did that and it went up but three . That shit was awesome.
tekende
+0 -0
That happened to me when I lamed the top post on this page. It went from like two to seven.
That happened to me when I lamed the top post on this page. It went from like two to seven.
heccibiggs
+1 -0
Uh, *by three. It went up by three.
Although I suppose "but three" makes sense in a sort of Victorian way.
Uh, *by three. It went up by three.
Although I suppose "but three" makes sense in a sort of Victorian way.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I don't get that joke but I've tipped you anyway.
I don't get that joke but I've tipped you anyway.
kamet
+0 -0
Awww.. poor sweet Roast Beef. Wedding dress prices are enough to make someone decide against it, for true.
Awww.. poor sweet Roast Beef. Wedding dress prices are enough to make someone decide against it, for true.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
In Panel 12 Beef's gone all mental with a magic marker to save on designer prices.
In Panel 12 Beef's gone all mental with a magic marker to save on designer prices.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If people got married at a courthouse and tallied the money they just saved, they could improve their marriage. The man could spend all his ducats on buying her shoes, and she could spend her dress money on beer for him or breast implants (I am terrible). Or perhaps, they could tally that money, then the cash they would pay for a divorce, then blow it all on cocaine and gin, and call it even. I am writing this into a business plan, and will charge each of you for using my ideas. Expect a bill soon.
Except Tekende and Bix, congrats on finding hugs online.
If people got married at a courthouse and tallied the money they just saved, they could improve their marriage. The man could spend all his ducats on buying her shoes, and she could spend her dress money on beer for him or breast implants (I am terrible). Or perhaps, they could tally that money, then the cash they would pay for a divorce, then blow it all on cocaine and gin, and call it even. I am writing this into a business plan, and will charge each of you for using my ideas. Expect a bill soon.
Except Tekende and Bix, congrats on finding hugs online.
bixschmix
+2 -0
The funny thing is, whenever marriage gets brought up in conversation my dad goes, "Well, I'll give you a certain small amount of money, and if you're DUMB and want to spend it all on a huge wedding that's your choice, or if you're SMART and you have a small wedding and use it for travel or part of a down payment on a house or whatever with your husband, that's ALSO your choice."
(My dad's not real subtle about what a racket he thinks weddings are and though I am a lady I agree a fair deal)
The funny thing is, whenever marriage gets brought up in conversation my dad goes, "Well, I'll give you a certain small amount of money, and if you're DUMB and want to spend it all on a huge wedding that's your choice, or if you're SMART and you have a small wedding and use it for travel or part of a down payment on a house or whatever with your husband, that's ALSO your choice."
(My dad's not real subtle about what a racket he thinks weddings are and though I am a lady I agree a fair deal)
pogo
+0 -0
I like your dad's approach.
I like your dad's approach.
aelindil
+0 -0
That's what my father is doing for me and my fiance. Since he's AmeriCorps and I'm still in school, we're going to have the world's smallest wedding and survive off the remainder for a good long while.
That's what my father is doing for me and my fiance. Since he's AmeriCorps and I'm still in school, we're going to have the world's smallest wedding and survive off the remainder for a good long while.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I wish my dad was AmeriCorps...
I wish my dad was AmeriCorps...
aelindil
+0 -0
Oh, I meant my fiance. He is a high school tutor/classroom help sort of thing and gets the teensiest of stipends.
It's a good thing I like the taste of shoe leather.
Oh, I meant my fiance. He is a high school tutor/classroom help sort of thing and gets the teensiest of stipends.
It's a good thing I like the taste of shoe leather.
pogo
+1 -0
I wish mine were Merrill Lynch
I wish mine were Merrill Lynch
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I think Merrill Lynch is too young to be your daddy
I think Merrill Lynch is too young to be your daddy
spinynorman
+1 -0
See, this right here is an issue of easy prey/slow moving target.
See, this right here is an issue of easy prey/slow moving target.
pogo
+0 -0
Is that a shotgun you have pointed into my fish barrel, or are you just glad to see me?
Is that a shotgun you have pointed into my fish barrel, or are you just glad to see me?
spinynorman
+0 -0
Little of column A, column B.
Little of column A, column B.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Onstad is really getting some mileage out of that "Roast Beef angrily computing" ninth panel.
Not that I don't love it.
Onstad is really getting some mileage out of that "Roast Beef angrily computing" ninth panel.
Not that I don't love it.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Maybe he'll work some of that Chivas fat off his arms again.
Maybe he'll work some of that Chivas fat off his arms again.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
How do I type-off Aberlour gut? I have $10,000 dollars, up front.
How do I type-off Aberlour gut? I have $10,000 dollars, up front.
straw
+1 -0
This was a real subtle and beautiful reference. You have fuckin EARNED that chubby, friend.
This was a real subtle and beautiful reference. You have fuckin EARNED that chubby, friend.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Maybe he can publish this magazine and get enough money to buy another Reset Button so he can be poor again
Maybe he can publish this magazine and get enough money to buy another Reset Button so he can be poor again
kamet
+0 -0
What about a prison for women who would be happy? The fuck!
What about a prison for women who would be happy? The fuck!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
From the movies I watch, all women in prison are happy all the time. Also naked.
From the movies I watch, all women in prison are happy all the time. Also naked.
thorfinn
+2 -0
And even with all the regulations and guards, they somehow still manage to sneak a 24" double-headed dildo into their cell. It baffles the mind, I wouldn't want to meet the one who smuggled that in.
And even with all the regulations and guards, they somehow still manage to sneak a 24" double-headed dildo into their cell. It baffles the mind, I wouldn't want to meet the one who smuggled that in.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Caged Heat is actually on this weekend. Big plans!
Caged Heat is actually on this weekend. Big plans!
thorfinn
+5 -0
Does it not seem odd to anyone else that, knowing he had a wedding to pay for in the near future, Roast Beef gave up all of his greeting card money to endow a home for wrecked-up dudes and women who been messed with? Since he was giving up the money in order to be happy with Molly, wouldn't he have held on to some of it for wedding expenses? I'm just saying, is all
Does it not seem odd to anyone else that, knowing he had a wedding to pay for in the near future, Roast Beef gave up all of his greeting card money to endow a home for wrecked-up dudes and women who been messed with? Since he was giving up the money in order to be happy with Molly, wouldn't he have held on to some of it for wedding expenses? I'm just saying, is all
lawbot
+0 -1
Onstad has issues with continuity.
Onstad has issues with continuity.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, hogspook, The_Dude, prius_chaser, weapon86)
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, hogspook, The_Dude, prius_chaser, weapon86)
thorfinn
+1 -0
You have just committed a cardinal sin of assetbar by questioning Onstad's artistic virtues. Your penance will be not less than ten lames and at least 3 responses from people telling you that your evaluation is wrong.
You have just committed a cardinal sin of assetbar by questioning Onstad's artistic virtues. Your penance will be not less than ten lames and at least 3 responses from people telling you that your evaluation is wrong.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I would like to see the Assetbar Rosary. I can imagine the shape of the chubbies... but what of the Lames?
I would like to see the Assetbar Rosary. I can imagine the shape of the chubbies... but what of the Lames?
irondave
+1 -0
The Lame beads would have to be little crutches, wouldn't they?
The Lame beads would have to be little crutches, wouldn't they?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
you win because you used your... IMAGINATION!
v.chubbb for you.
you win because you used your... IMAGINATION!
v.chubbb for you.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Expected. What I was actually trying to convey though is that you shouldn't take Achewood so seriously and look for continuity everywhere because sometimes it's obviously clear that he's just pulling plotlines out of his ass and that's fine, cause that's okay.
Expected. What I was actually trying to convey though is that you shouldn't take Achewood so seriously and look for continuity everywhere because sometimes it's obviously clear that he's just pulling plotlines out of his ass and that's fine, cause that's okay.
thorfinn
+2 -1
I figured as much, I was just making a silly statement about the fact that Beef had lots of money, then gave it all up, and now is bitching about having no money, then frackin' continuity nazi lawbot comes in and the whole thing goes to pot, and now you're suffering the lames that should hav rightfully been his because you questioned Onstad's artistic abilities. It could be worse, though, you could be that one girl who said that she didn't like the GOF that one time. I had to up my lame limit to 200 in order to read her post.
I figured as much, I was just making a silly statement about the fact that Beef had lots of money, then gave it all up, and now is bitching about having no money, then frackin' continuity nazi lawbot comes in and the whole thing goes to pot, and now you're suffering the lames that should hav rightfully been his because you questioned Onstad's artistic abilities. It could be worse, though, you could be that one girl who said that she didn't like the GOF that one time. I had to up my lame limit to 200 in order to read her post.
lawbot
+0 -0
Wait, can you give *one* example of me complaining about continuity? STEP OFF!
Wait, can you give *one* example of me complaining about continuity? STEP OFF!
thorfinn
+0 -1
Onstad has issues with continuity
Onstad has issues with continuity
lawbot
+0 -1
So, noting that Onstad does not do continuity well is considered a complaint? Perhaps I wouldn't make such mistakes if I spent as much time as you buffing my Onstad prayer wheel.
So, noting that Onstad does not do continuity well is considered a complaint? Perhaps I wouldn't make such mistakes if I spent as much time as you buffing my Onstad prayer wheel.
maximus
+1 -0
I think you need better lighting for your pic or maybe use that octo dentata thing
I think you need better lighting for your pic or maybe use that octo dentata thing
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Maxipad, man, you are on an absolute roll with your avatars. Another chubby for you.
Maxipad, man, you are on an absolute roll with your avatars. Another chubby for you.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Hey--now that's just a personal attack on an assetbarrian's face! Let's stay...ON TOPIC.
Hey--now that's just a personal attack on an assetbarrian's face! Let's stay...ON TOPIC.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
For its size and complexity, Achewood does extremely well on the continuity angle.
For its size and complexity, Achewood does extremely well on the continuity angle.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It has continuity in the places that matter, mainly in consistently developing the characters so that even little things they do are funny later on. Things like "But isn't Todd still in Hell?" or "Did Teodor ever get that lamp?" don't really matter as much.
It has continuity in the places that matter, mainly in consistently developing the characters so that even little things they do are funny later on. Things like "But isn't Todd still in Hell?" or "Did Teodor ever get that lamp?" don't really matter as much.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
For the record, I don't think Lawbot was particularly being a douche in this case.
For the record, I don't think Lawbot was particularly being a douche in this case.
doc_rostov
+15 -0
And at least one asset from me saying that I think he was mostly right. I personally loved most of the arc, but I agree with him that the ending wasn't really up to snuff. It was sort of like this:
This is what it was like.
And at least one asset from me saying that I think he was mostly right. I personally loved most of the arc, but I agree with him that the ending wasn't really up to snuff. It was sort of like this:
This is what it was like.
straw
+0 -0
Excellent work. Has this been posted late? Is that why there are so few chubbies?
Excellent work. Has this been posted late? Is that why there are so few chubbies?
tekende
+0 -0
WOW.
That little animated Philippe is so gosh-darned cute! This is great work, doc. Fantastic.
WOW.
That little animated Philippe is so gosh-darned cute! This is great work, doc. Fantastic.
morypcaina
+0 -0
It will only turn out to definitively have been poorly written if it doesn't do anything for the rest of the comic -- or will it? See Captain Continuity issue #8 or so in like a month or two to find out!
I didn't lame you, although I did get taken aback when I read the comment. That must be a shadow of the revulsion 2* people with insecurity issues felt when they lamed you.
*at press time
It will only turn out to definitively have been poorly written if it doesn't do anything for the rest of the comic -- or will it? See Captain Continuity issue #8 or so in like a month or two to find out!
I didn't lame you, although I did get taken aback when I read the comment. That must be a shadow of the revulsion 2* people with insecurity issues felt when they lamed you.
*at press time
straw
+0 -0
Shit! I didn't mean to lame you, achillesbow. Your critique is reasoned and fine.
Shit! I didn't mean to lame you, achillesbow. Your critique is reasoned and fine.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Your mother is also reasoned and fine.
(I am not sure what I meant by that)
Your mother is also reasoned and fine.
(I am not sure what I meant by that)
straw
+0 -0
But she totally is!
But she totally is!
blueloggy
+0 -0
Even if you HAVE the money it's obscene to spend too much on a wedding. I say this as someone who had a "cheap" wedding of "only" $14k in NYC seven years ago. Even with that amount of scratch spent we had guests grumbling about this and that...
Even if you HAVE the money it's obscene to spend too much on a wedding. I say this as someone who had a "cheap" wedding of "only" $14k in NYC seven years ago. Even with that amount of scratch spent we had guests grumbling about this and that...
thorfinn
+1 -0
Fuck those guests. They weren't going to be happy anyway and were just looking for something to bitch about. As long as you were happy, that's the only thing that matters.
Fuck those guests. They weren't going to be happy anyway and were just looking for something to bitch about. As long as you were happy, that's the only thing that matters.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
The beginning of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" details how the poor immigrant family scraped together and borrowed a ton of money to have a 'veselija' or traditional wedding that was beyond their means. By the end, the entire family had either starved, died of disease, or turned to prostitution, except Jurgis, who became a communist revolutionary.
The moral? Capitalism is evil, but weddings are worse.
The beginning of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" details how the poor immigrant family scraped together and borrowed a ton of money to have a 'veselija' or traditional wedding that was beyond their means. By the end, the entire family had either starved, died of disease, or turned to prostitution, except Jurgis, who became a communist revolutionary.
The moral? Capitalism is evil, but weddings are worse.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Capitalism sucks because men and women of different races sleep on sausage factory floors and the black men will rape women (because that's what black men do when they can, I guess). [/UptonSinclair]
I agree with Sinclair about some points, but you can definitely tell The Jungle was written in 1917 or so... I don't know if that's much of an excuse for his mild racism.
Capitalism sucks because men and women of different races sleep on sausage factory floors and the black men will rape women (because that's what black men do when they can, I guess). [/UptonSinclair]
I agree with Sinclair about some points, but you can definitely tell The Jungle was written in 1917 or so... I don't know if that's much of an excuse for his mild racism.
pogo
+0 -0
Cripes, man, in 1917, wimmin couldn't even vote! "Racism" wasn't even invented yet.
Cripes, man, in 1917, wimmin couldn't even vote! "Racism" wasn't even invented yet.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
u wan' know hows to stop five blacks dudes from rapin' a white girl? lo,l toss dem a bassball
u wan' know hows to stop five blacks dudes from rapin' a white girl? lo,l toss dem a bassball
tekende
+0 -0
WOW
WOW
spinynorman
+0 -0
HOT
DAMN
HOT
DAMN
achilleselbow
+1 -0
This post is still a better work of literature than The Jungle.
HUGE slam on Upton Sinclair out of nowhere.
This post is still a better work of literature than The Jungle.
HUGE slam on Upton Sinclair out of nowhere.
daidai
+0 -0
Poor Upton. Damn.
Poor Upton. Damn.
foea
+0 -0
the plot thickens...
the plot thickens...
daidai
+2 -0
My mother killed herself to pay for her wedding.
Mommy, why?
My mother killed herself to pay for her wedding.
Mommy, why?
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
then daidai loosened his tie and lamented the fact that he gets no respect. no respect at all.
then daidai loosened his tie and lamented the fact that he gets no respect. no respect at all.
andyfaewatford
+1 -0
Hmmm...
I think we can see from the opening frames of this strip that Beef had absolutely no idea how expensive a wedding was likely to be, and therefore didn't think he would need his greetings-cards money. Also, sometimes he doesn't really think of Molly all that much (and then regrets it later) so he maybe wasn't even thinking about his impending wedding when he got rid of the money.
But poor continuity seems a likely explanation too, if, y'know, you don't think of these talking cats as real people...
Hmmm...
I think we can see from the opening frames of this strip that Beef had absolutely no idea how expensive a wedding was likely to be, and therefore didn't think he would need his greetings-cards money. Also, sometimes he doesn't really think of Molly all that much (and then regrets it later) so he maybe wasn't even thinking about his impending wedding when he got rid of the money.
But poor continuity seems a likely explanation too, if, y'know, you don't think of these talking cats as real people...
morypcaina
+0 -0
It's possible that we'll have a repeat of this strip once it's been pointed out that Roast Beef may have done Molly a bit of a disservice (by not asking her what kind of a wedding she'll want BEFORE giving away most of his new money) in an attempt to do right by her (sacrificing his new lifestyle to be closer to her) WITHOUT being up front about it.
It's possible that we'll have a repeat of this strip once it's been pointed out that Roast Beef may have done Molly a bit of a disservice (by not asking her what kind of a wedding she'll want BEFORE giving away most of his new money) in an attempt to do right by her (sacrificing his new lifestyle to be closer to her) WITHOUT being up front about it.
varnish
+6 -0
The only guard in the prison for men who would be happy... is shame.
The only guard in the prison for men who would be happy... is shame.
pogo
+1 -0
Yes, that prison would not need locks.
Yes, that prison would not need locks.
invidious
+0 -0
The ironic part is that Roast Beef's prison has already been created.
It's called marriage.
The ironic part is that Roast Beef's prison has already been created.
It's called marriage.
invidious
+0 -0
Addendum: my wife's wedding dress was $500 out of our fairly small (75 guest), $20,000 wedding. Roast Beef has got much bigger things to worry about. Has he priced flowers recently? For as much as wedding flowers cost I expected them to be made out of pure heroin.
Addendum: my wife's wedding dress was $500 out of our fairly small (75 guest), $20,000 wedding. Roast Beef has got much bigger things to worry about. Has he priced flowers recently? For as much as wedding flowers cost I expected them to be made out of pure heroin.
invidious
+0 -0
Wow, those came out sounding far more bitter and far less funny than I expected. Please lame the ever-lovin' bejesus out of me.
Wow, those came out sounding far more bitter and far less funny than I expected. Please lame the ever-lovin' bejesus out of me.
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
I gotcher back mr. balowski
I gotcher back mr. balowski
aelindil
+0 -0
wait wait wait
Your wedding was only 75 guests but cost $20,000? My budget is half that.
I AM SO SCREWED
wait wait wait
Your wedding was only 75 guests but cost $20,000? My budget is half that.
I AM SO SCREWED
invidious
+0 -0
Yeah. It was a nice, small, wedding, nothing extravagant. We even got our cake for free (one of the wife's friends was a professional cake maker for a resort). I dunno if it's just because we got married in Southern California... I've heard weddings are just that outrageous everywhere, unless you do the justice of the peace thing.
Yeah. It was a nice, small, wedding, nothing extravagant. We even got our cake for free (one of the wife's friends was a professional cake maker for a resort). I dunno if it's just because we got married in Southern California... I've heard weddings are just that outrageous everywhere, unless you do the justice of the peace thing.
hamscout
+0 -0
We had just about 100 people with a budget of $12K-$14K.
(Good deal on the reception hall, everything else was full retail)
I'll just take this opportunity to voice a big FUCK YOU VERY MUCH to the folks who didn't show up (especially those WHO FUCKING LIVE IN TOWN).
/rant
We had just about 100 people with a budget of $12K-$14K.
(Good deal on the reception hall, everything else was full retail)
I'll just take this opportunity to voice a big FUCK YOU VERY MUCH to the folks who didn't show up (especially those WHO FUCKING LIVE IN TOWN).
/rant
pityparty
+0 -0
my cousin (a methhead) had a pair of old blue underwear borrowed from her sister on (she skipped the 'something new' part and wore a 70s wedding dress from a thrift shop) and tossed a head of broccoli (any flower is a wedding flower if you call it that) to her bridesmaids (streetwalking crack addicts)
my cousin (a methhead) had a pair of old blue underwear borrowed from her sister on (she skipped the 'something new' part and wore a 70s wedding dress from a thrift shop) and tossed a head of broccoli (any flower is a wedding flower if you call it that) to her bridesmaids (streetwalking crack addicts)
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
pityparty indeed.
pityparty indeed.
withouta
+0 -0
When todd shows up at these cats' wedding, I'm sure he will expect the same thing.
When todd shows up at these cats' wedding, I'm sure he will expect the same thing.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
love. your. icon.
love. your. icon.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
ICON
LOVE IT
ICON
LOVE IT
invidious
+0 -0
MOIST
MOIST
skoora
+2 -0
First science for the man on the go, now weddings for the man with no dough.
First science for the man on the go, now weddings for the man with no dough.
spectre
+1 -0
I was exactly where Roast Beef is now from May 2006 till we finally got married January 2007: OMG, the $$$$, HOW will I ever . . . OMG, I'm getting MARRIED, why why why did I ever even THINK . . . OMG, WTF, I'm gonna be sick, please just leave me huddled naked on the bathroom floor you all go and have a good time please don't let the food go to waste just bring me some crackers . . .
I was exactly where Roast Beef is now from May 2006 till we finally got married January 2007: OMG, the $$$$, HOW will I ever . . . OMG, I'm getting MARRIED, why why why did I ever even THINK . . . OMG, WTF, I'm gonna be sick, please just leave me huddled naked on the bathroom floor you all go and have a good time please don't let the food go to waste just bring me some crackers . . .
tetsujin
+0 -0
There ought to be a prison for dudes who make a small fortune in the greeting card business, decide they can't keep the money, and get rid of it before paying for their upcoming wedding...
Honestly, Beef bitching about money right now is such a load of crap. He could have bought Molly the finest wedding gown she could have wanted - but no, he decided to throw it all away because his pile of money plus his 15 minutes of fame were making him a target for gold-diggers...
At least if the greeting card thing had been written off as a dream sequence or something, it would make some kind of sense... I guess we should just all forget it ever happened...
There ought to be a prison for dudes who make a small fortune in the greeting card business, decide they can't keep the money, and get rid of it before paying for their upcoming wedding...
Honestly, Beef bitching about money right now is such a load of crap. He could have bought Molly the finest wedding gown she could have wanted - but no, he decided to throw it all away because his pile of money plus his 15 minutes of fame were making him a target for gold-diggers...
At least if the greeting card thing had been written off as a dream sequence or something, it would make some kind of sense... I guess we should just all forget it ever happened...
thorfinn
+0 -0
There ought to be a prison for dudes who fail to refresh before posting, and in doing so don't notice that someone has made their exact point ten minutes earlier.
There ought to be a prison for dudes who fail to refresh before posting, and in doing so don't notice that someone has made their exact point ten minutes earlier.
tetsujin
+1 -2
There ought to be a prison for dudes who don't give a shit.
There ought to be a prison for dudes who don't give a shit.
invidious
+0 -0
Population: You.
Population: You.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
Yes, there ought to.
Yes, there ought to.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
I acutally laughed out loud.
I acutally laughed out loud.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
... and can't spell "actually", either.
... and can't spell "actually", either.
foea
+0 -0
I'll join you if this can include being beaten by 48 hours.
I'll join you if this can include being beaten by 48 hours.
ethelthefrog
+2 -0
You know Ray's gonna foot the whole thing without blinking. And he will disregard any protests from Beef about cost and he will TURN THE MOTHER OUT.
You know Ray's gonna foot the whole thing without blinking. And he will disregard any protests from Beef about cost and he will TURN THE MOTHER OUT.
foea
+0 -0
You're missing an important point. He would not have been himself if he still had that money. He is not a dude who has money. He is a dude who freaks out about not having money.
You're missing an important point. He would not have been himself if he still had that money. He is not a dude who has money. He is a dude who freaks out about not having money.
handheld
+0 -0
Wedding Guide for a Dude from Circumstances
Wedding Guide for a Dude from Circumstances
morypcaina
+3 -0
THE DUDE HAS GOT NO MONEY
THE DUDE HAS GOT NO MONEY
lateadopter
+0 -0
My once and future bride found a photographer who said she'd charge $600 and sell the photos to us and our families afterward for an unspecified price. I thought that was lame, so I looked on the internet and found other photographers that were willing to charge $20,000 and then sell us a four-page album with no photos for $250.
I may be terrible, but they are terribler.
My once and future bride found a photographer who said she'd charge $600 and sell the photos to us and our families afterward for an unspecified price. I thought that was lame, so I looked on the internet and found other photographers that were willing to charge $20,000 and then sell us a four-page album with no photos for $250.
I may be terrible, but they are terribler.
octafish
+1 -1
Fuck you, we have to make money somehow, do you know how hard it is to shoot a fucking wedding? There are no do overs, you have to get everything to work on the day and everything conspires against you, fucking Mothers of the Brides trying to fuck everything up and pissing off their daughters, the Bride and Groom saying we have a whole hour between the wedding and reception and then wanting a dozen different photographic setups, stupid relations who fuck off for a smoke just before the family portraits and then won't put their fucking drink down when your assistant gathers them up, dipshit uncle stepping in front of the FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHER THE BRIDE AND GROOM HAVE PAID GOOD MONEY FOR TO TAKE A PHOTO WITH THEIR FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT KOREAN FUCKING VGA CAMERA! *pant pant pant*
I'm okay, its okay, I'm calm,calmer than you are Dude , I don't do weddings anymore except for friends, it is such a fucking stress. People will pay what they can afford, and a 20,000 photographer will make you look fucking beautiful and take good care of you, but if you can't afford that there are plenty of 'togs that will fill the gap.
Fuck you, we have to make money somehow, do you know how hard it is to shoot a fucking wedding? There are no do overs, you have to get everything to work on the day and everything conspires against you, fucking Mothers of the Brides trying to fuck everything up and pissing off their daughters, the Bride and Groom saying we have a whole hour between the wedding and reception and then wanting a dozen different photographic setups, stupid relations who fuck off for a smoke just before the family portraits and then won't put their fucking drink down when your assistant gathers them up, dipshit uncle stepping in front of the FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHER THE BRIDE AND GROOM HAVE PAID GOOD MONEY FOR TO TAKE A PHOTO WITH THEIR FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT KOREAN FUCKING VGA CAMERA! *pant pant pant*
I'm okay, its okay, I'm calm,
comrade_tom
+0 -0
My Younger brother aspires to be a photographer, shall i tell him it aint worth it?
Turnip farming sounds like a far less stressfull occupation.
My Younger brother aspires to be a photographer, shall i tell him it aint worth it?
Turnip farming sounds like a far less stressfull occupation.
straw
+0 -0
As long as your last name isn't "Brown."
As long as your last name isn't "Brown."
lateadopter
+0 -0
Sorry to hit a nerve, octafish. Nevertheless, I'd pay a brain surgeon $50,000 an hour, but I won't pay a photographer $2,500 an hour.
Sorry to hit a nerve, octafish. Nevertheless, I'd pay a brain surgeon $50,000 an hour, but I won't pay a photographer $2,500 an hour.
thefossor
+0 -0
A comment left by thefossor was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Steerpike66, prius_chaser)
A comment left by thefossor was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Steerpike66, prius_chaser)
andyfaewatford
+1 -0
Oooh, saucer of milk for thefossor's table.
Oooh, saucer of milk for thefossor's table.
maximus
+0 -0
duck and cover - the lamestorm approaches
duck and cover - the lamestorm approaches
andyfaewatford
+0 -0
For the record, I gave the chubby. I found that comment provocative and edgy.
For the record, I gave the chubby. I found that comment provocative and edgy.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I initially read that as you finding the comment procreative. Interpret that as you will.
I initially read that as you finding the comment procreative. Interpret that as you will.
pogo
+0 -0
It will soon have puppies.
It will soon have puppies.
tekende
+1 -0
Aww, little postlings, yipping small words, peeing on the html code...
Aww, little postlings, yipping small words, peeing on the html code...
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I'm holding out for plush animals.
BRING ON THE PUPPET PEOPLE ARC!
I'm holding out for plush animals.
BRING ON THE PUPPET PEOPLE ARC!
echidnaboy
+3 -0
OFFICIAL PHILIPPE PLUSHIE
THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN
OFFICIAL PHILIPPE PLUSHIE
THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN
maximus
+1 -0
umm ... Philippe is a plushie already. Check out the Europe pix. A plushy based on a comic character based on a plushie is just too Hollywood for me.
umm ... Philippe is a plushie already. Check out the Europe pix. A plushy based on a comic character based on a plushie is just too Hollywood for me.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
I'm aware of this. As a child, I could handle such concepts as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: the Movie: the Comic ; I hope I can manage a toy of a cartoon character based on a toy.
I'm aware of this. As a child, I could handle such concepts as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: the Movie: the Comic ; I hope I can manage a toy of a cartoon character based on a toy.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
Did you ever enjoy Street Fighter II The Movie The Game? That is to say, the arcade version of SFII featuring image-captured sprites of the actors who played the original SF characters in the movie based on the original game. Similar meta- qualities.
Did you ever enjoy Street Fighter II The Movie The Game? That is to say, the arcade version of SFII featuring image-captured sprites of the actors who played the original SF characters in the movie based on the original game. Similar meta- qualities.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This girl seems to have somehow found the same plushy that Onstad based Philippe on. At least it looks pretty similar. I assume you mean one that looks like the Philippe from the comics though.
This girl seems to have somehow found the same plushy that Onstad based Philippe on. At least it looks pretty similar. I assume you mean one that looks like the Philippe from the comics though.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
None of the stuffed animals look much like Mrs. Onstad's toys any more. Original Philippe is still cute, but an Official Achewood Philippe would punish .
None of the stuffed animals look much like Mrs. Onstad's toys any more. Original Philippe is still cute, but an Official Achewood Philippe would punish .
xi
+0 -0
Nice, man.
Wicked nice.
Nice, man.
Wicked nice.
nickgranger
+0 -0
I can't wait for dudes to start wearing short sleeve shirts on their wedding day
I can't wait for dudes to start wearing short sleeve shirts on their wedding day
envika
+0 -0
I like that "Jiminy Hendrix" line. I'm gonna start using that.
I like that "Jiminy Hendrix" line. I'm gonna start using that.
perfidy
+1 -0
jiminy hendrix!
jiminy hendrix!
pogogogo
+0 -0
Yep! Jiminy Hendrix
Yep! Jiminy Hendrix
perfidy
+0 -0
Now i just need to know where the 7 places i can toss my biscuits are located.
Now i just need to know where the 7 places i can toss my biscuits are located.
gladi8orrex
+2 -1
lol ray befez dollah amont no ttso rich end of the business meeting. totally looses gumpshion lol den is quickly retunr to him cuz he relize dat is all crap exepnsive dresses. den he wan tell errybody to save dey dough. lol|||||||||||
lol ray befez dollah amont no ttso rich end of the business meeting. totally looses gumpshion lol den is quickly retunr to him cuz he relize dat is all crap exepnsive dresses. den he wan tell errybody to save dey dough. lol
gladi8orrex
+16 -0
i hurt inside
i hurt inside
falseprophet
+1 -0
ZIP ZOP ZIBBITY BOP!
ZIP ZOP ZIBBITY BOP!
maximus
+0 -0
For some reason this post made me think of a Flintstone's episode where Fred has to stay awake at all costs so he props his eyelids open with toothpicks that comically bend and then snap under the weight of his lids.
For some reason this post made me think of a Flintstone's episode where Fred has to stay awake at all costs so he props his eyelids open with toothpicks that comically bend and then snap under the weight of his lids.
daidai
+0 -0
hahahahahahaha, hahaha.
hahahahahahaha, hahaha.
foea
+0 -0
We know, gladi8orrex. We know.
We know, gladi8orrex. We know.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Panel 10 is my favorite style of speaking Roast Beef uses. No fuss, no muss. Just good clean words. Also, what is the meaning of the "clap" dance?
Is it a dance that guys who can't dance do?
Panel 10 is my favorite style of speaking Roast Beef uses. No fuss, no muss. Just good clean words. Also, what is the meaning of the "clap" dance?
Is it a dance that guys who can't dance do?
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
I think it's about whether you can catch 'the clap' off the front of your pants. Presumably, Beef has concerns about the cleanliness of bargain tuxedo rentals.
I don't quite get the 'Clap dance' phrasing. A pun on lap dance? That you are getting a lap dance from gonorhea?
I think it's about whether you can catch 'the clap' off the front of your pants. Presumably, Beef has concerns about the cleanliness of bargain tuxedo rentals.
I don't quite get the 'Clap dance' phrasing. A pun on lap dance? That you are getting a lap dance from gonorhea?
sn0wman
+0 -0
Getting a Lap Dance From Gonorrhea... Coming to a self-help section near you!
Getting a Lap Dance From Gonorrhea... Coming to a self-help section near you!
weapon86
+1 -0
I will admit that as a teen I was in air cadets. Banquets and mess dinners with the higher brass were basically a thing. Fortunately I was issued gross green slacks which didn't cost me a dime. Beef has a tux deposit to stress over, so he shall perform the "clap dance". This is known as the quickest possible movement of the hands to prevent warmed up Gazpacho soup from dropping to your lap. We called it the "navel prayer".
Rimmah...
I will admit that as a teen I was in air cadets. Banquets and mess dinners with the higher brass were basically a thing. Fortunately I was issued gross green slacks which didn't cost me a dime. Beef has a tux deposit to stress over, so he shall perform the "clap dance". This is known as the quickest possible movement of the hands to prevent warmed up Gazpacho soup from dropping to your lap. We called it the "navel prayer".
Rimmah...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That was some gentle, obtuse referencing right there.
And I love you for it.
That was some gentle, obtuse referencing right there.
And I love you for it.
weapon86
+0 -0
Smeg, I came close to not typing rimmah but was afraid the reference would be lost.
Who you calling obtuse? You're the one missing the delta wave.
Smeg, I came close to not typing rimmah but was afraid the reference would be lost.
Who you calling obtuse? You're the one missing the delta wave.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I've used the word "obtuse" about ten times over the last week, and I'm still not entirely sure what it means. Apart from where angles are concerned.
Ah, geometry. Would that life itself could be so simple.
I've used the word "obtuse" about ten times over the last week, and I'm still not entirely sure what it means. Apart from where angles are concerned.
Ah, geometry. Would that life itself could be so simple.
weapon86
+0 -0
Obtuse: not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect; not sensitive or observant; dull.
Now apologise to Jesse Jackson....that's right...apologise.
I forgive you though. You are a dude in love. Love does a funny thing to a dude.
Obtuse: not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect; not sensitive or observant; dull.
Now apologise to Jesse Jackson....that's right...apologise.
I forgive you though. You are a dude in love. Love does a funny thing to a dude.
hamscout
+0 -0
I think it's a bachelor party reference--knowing which STDs you can/can't contract from your trousers after a lap dance from a questionable piece of ass.
Like "Itchy", the Stripper from Miami!
I think it's a bachelor party reference--knowing which STDs you can/can't contract from your trousers after a lap dance from a questionable piece of ass.
Like "Itchy", the Stripper from Miami!
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Although an article on dances for guys who can't/won't dance would be a good idea, too. A list of musical selections that a groom can dance to without actually lifting either foot off the floor or putting down his bottle of Stella.
Although an article on dances for guys who can't/won't dance would be a good idea, too. A list of musical selections that a groom can dance to without actually lifting either foot off the floor or putting down his bottle of Stella.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
If they play Bauhaus at the wedding, you can just shuffle your feet from side to side while taking drags from a cigarette.
If they play Bauhaus at the wedding, you can just shuffle your feet from side to side while taking drags from a cigarette.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
[edit] while taking drags from a clove
[edit] while taking drags from a clove
octafish
+1 -0
Okay, to save those with upcoming nuptials some money I'm going to tell you a story.
When I got married my wife went to all the expensive dress shops with her mother and at those dress shops, they took photos of my wife in the dresses. Then they went to a professional dressmaker who has a great reputation and worked out of her livingroom, who created a custom dress from aspects of the dresses in the photographs. It cost about $1500 Australian dollars (at the time about $700 US and about 500 EUR). The dresses she had been looking for were a lot more, $1500 was more than we had planned in spending but it sure beat the $5000 that the cheaper originals cost.
Okay, to save those with upcoming nuptials some money I'm going to tell you a story.
When I got married my wife went to all the expensive dress shops with her mother and at those dress shops, they took photos of my wife in the dresses. Then they went to a professional dressmaker who has a great reputation and worked out of her livingroom, who created a custom dress from aspects of the dresses in the photographs. It cost about $1500 Australian dollars (at the time about $700 US and about 500 EUR). The dresses she had been looking for were a lot more, $1500 was more than we had planned in spending but it sure beat the $5000 that the cheaper originals cost.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
Man, I hear you. That's pretty much our plan. And fuck only wearing your wedding outfit once - if it's good enough for our wedding, it's good enough for our marriage!
(PS Where in Aus are/were you? Melbourne here.)
Man, I hear you. That's pretty much our plan. And fuck only wearing your wedding outfit once - if it's good enough for our wedding, it's good enough for our marriage!
(PS Where in Aus are/were you? Melbourne here.)
octafish
+0 -0
Melbourne, had ceremony at the Botanical Gardens and the reception at a a pub in Port Melbourne. Stand up reception is the way to go, no tables = no seating arrangements.
Melbourne, had ceremony at the Botanical Gardens and the reception at a a pub in Port Melbourne. Stand up reception is the way to go, no tables = no seating arrangements.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
A-greed. The Gardens make a nice venue, very pretty! We're looking at a historic home and an RSL. Cheap and pretty, do a bit of stand-up luncheon.
A-greed. The Gardens make a nice venue, very pretty! We're looking at a historic home and an RSL. Cheap and pretty, do a bit of stand-up luncheon.
flyffe
+0 -0
I can conceive of people who want their wedding dress to be the item that ticks the 'new' box. But seriously - does the concept of the 'charity shop' exist outside of Britain? A year ago I found a real silk ballgown in oxfam for £14. State : brand new. It was red, it's true, but then I've never thought white a particularly flattering shade.
Also, hasn't anyone considered getting in touch with College of Art/University Photo societies, checking portfolios, and getting impoverished students, desperate for publicity, to do your photos? You could even get them competing. Get talent early, before they convince people they're fantastic, and start charging accordingly.
I can conceive of people who want their wedding dress to be the item that ticks the 'new' box. But seriously - does the concept of the 'charity shop' exist outside of Britain? A year ago I found a real silk ballgown in oxfam for £14. State : brand new. It was red, it's true, but then I've never thought white a particularly flattering shade.
Also, hasn't anyone considered getting in touch with College of Art/University Photo societies, checking portfolios, and getting impoverished students, desperate for publicity, to do your photos? You could even get them competing. Get talent early, before they convince people they're fantastic, and start charging accordingly.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I did multiple weddings when I was in college for $400-500 (just shooting, not prints). They all turned out fairly well, but lawbot's right, it's stressful as all hell.
I did multiple weddings when I was in college for $400-500 (just shooting, not prints). They all turned out fairly well, but lawbot's right, it's stressful as all hell.
evolume
+0 -0
I NAME DROP 4-5 PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY POST THEN I CHECK BACK FREQUENTLY TO SEE IF I GET 4-5 CHUBBIES.
I NAME DROP 4-5 PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY POST THEN I CHECK BACK FREQUENTLY TO SEE IF I GET 4-5 CHUBBIES.
pogo
+0 -0
Your META campaign is beginning to interest me.
Your META campaign is beginning to interest me.
octafish
+0 -0
Campaign donations from pogo.
Campaign donations from pogo.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Roast Beef Weddings should feature Ray Smuckles' newspaper wedding gowns.
The New York Times offers an elegant traditional look, while the modern bride may opt for the chic of LA Weekly
Roast Beef Weddings should feature Ray Smuckles' newspaper wedding gowns.
The New York Times offers an elegant traditional look, while the modern bride may opt for the chic of LA Weekly
qingofchina
+1 -0
The walls of that prison are made of mirrors, and your parents visit every week to tell you how disgusting you are and what you should do with your life.
The walls of that prison are made of mirrors, and your parents visit every week to tell you how disgusting you are and what you should do with your life.
brimbrim
+0 -0
what happened to roast beef's biceps?
what happened to roast beef's biceps?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
This is a terrible magasine...
This is a terrible magasine...
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Our Manifesto Issue is awesome, too. I expect it to be followed by a subheader: 12 wedding planners who will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes
Our Manifesto Issue is awesome, too. I expect it to be followed by a subheader: 12 wedding planners who will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Dudes of the world unite, you dang got nothing to loose but your scratch...
And your lady...
and your dignity i suppose,
and the respect of your families and peers...
oh yeah and your lunch...
Maybe this aint too good an idea...
Dudes of the world unite, you dang got nothing to loose but your scratch...
And your lady...
and your dignity i suppose,
and the respect of your families and peers...
oh yeah and your lunch...
Maybe this aint too good an idea...
aelindil
+2 -0
Interestingly enough, a copy of Roast Beef Weddings from the future that fell through a hole in the space-time continuum indicated that the same 12 wedding planners were "the first against the wall when the revolution came."
Interestingly enough, a copy of Roast Beef Weddings from the future that fell through a hole in the space-time continuum indicated that the same 12 wedding planners were "the first against the wall when the revolution came."
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Man will only be free when the last wedding planner is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
Man will only be free when the last wedding planner is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
epicurus
+0 -0
HEY GANG, I'M EPICURUS HOLY SHIT ASSETBAR IS MESSED UP NOW AM I RIGHT OR WHAT LADIES AND DUDES?
HEY GANG, I'M EPICURUS HOLY SHIT ASSETBAR IS MESSED UP NOW AM I RIGHT OR WHAT LADIES AND DUDES?
straw
+0 -0
THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE TO ME
THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE TO ME
mr_lostman28
+1 -0
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO META NOW?
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO META NOW?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I THINK THE OXYGEN SENSOR NEEDS CLEANING
HAND ME A RAG
I THINK THE OXYGEN SENSOR NEEDS CLEANING
HAND ME A RAG
riazm
+0 -0
Epicurus, I remember you and yes. It has gotten a bit wierd. When I scrolled down the page today I expected to find people talking of the amazing prison for dudes who would be happy, perhaps a photoshop mock up for me to chubby.
I guess this is what we were always meant to do, make friends and just have a good time with like minded folk. But there is a part of me that longs for the Achewood-Centric discussion and general smart-assery that still dwells in the archive talk pages.
If you ever need me...That's where I'll be, trying to isolate the exact strip that Ray got nipples and charting Phillipe's gradual transformation from retarded otter to a five year old.
Epicurus, I remember you and yes. It has gotten a bit wierd. When I scrolled down the page today I expected to find people talking of the amazing prison for dudes who would be happy, perhaps a photoshop mock up for me to chubby.
I guess this is what we were always meant to do, make friends and just have a good time with like minded folk. But there is a part of me that longs for the Achewood-Centric discussion and general smart-assery that still dwells in the archive talk pages.
If you ever need me...That's where I'll be, trying to isolate the exact strip that Ray got nipples and charting Phillipe's gradual transformation from retarded otter to a five year old.
spinynorman
+0 -0
You're like the Tom Joad of internet webcomic subforums.
You're like the Tom Joad of internet webcomic subforums.
stereo
+0 -0
I'd hardly have called Philippe a retarded otter at any point, he has changed but I think the original was closer to "spunky teenager". He used to act older than the majority of five year olds I have known.
I'd hardly have called Philippe a retarded otter at any point, he has changed but I think the original was closer to "spunky teenager". He used to act older than the majority of five year olds I have known.
pogo
+0 -0
The strip-centric stuff is still here, just harder to find. Assetworld has become a much bigger party, with lots of sideshows, true, yet I think most of us read the strip first, then get distracted by who's hooking up with who's mom.
The strip-centric stuff is still here, just harder to find. Assetworld has become a much bigger party, with lots of sideshows, true, yet I think most of us read the strip first, then get distracted by who's hooking up with who's mom.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
It's actually become a smaller party, it seems
It's actually become a smaller party, it seems
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
seriously.. .how does one get into the "cool" club here?
seriously.. .how does one get into the "cool" club here?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I was nominated into the band last strip, and I think all I do is creep people out and post in the buff, even while at work. Maybe you should try one of those things.
I was nominated into the band last strip, and I think all I do is creep people out and post in the buff, even while at work. Maybe you should try one of those things.
sirfrederick
+1 -0
As a fellow planning his wedding: YES. Daylight robbery doesn't come close to describing it - at least robbers can be charming. I'd rather be thrown out of a plane by DB Cooper than talk to a wedding industry mogul for five minutes. Our money-saving plan is just not to buy anything with 'wedding' in the name. We're getting married at a VENUE. We will eat a CAKE. My betrothed will wear a DRESS. A BAND will play and there will be PHOTOS.
Oh, and we're getting a HALLOWEEN CELEBRANT to do the talking parts.
That's a lie, a friend's mum's a minister.
As a fellow planning his wedding: YES. Daylight robbery doesn't come close to describing it - at least robbers can be charming. I'd rather be thrown out of a plane by DB Cooper than talk to a wedding industry mogul for five minutes. Our money-saving plan is just not to buy anything with 'wedding' in the name. We're getting married at a VENUE. We will eat a CAKE. My betrothed will wear a DRESS. A BAND will play and there will be PHOTOS.
Oh, and we're getting a HALLOWEEN CELEBRANT to do the talking parts.
That's a lie, a friend's mum's a minister.
aelindil
+0 -0
A chubby for you. You feel my pain.
A chubby for you. You feel my pain.
deus
+0 -0
The phrase, "Toss the biscuit" needs a place in the english literature!
I dont care what it means, it just needs to be used everyday for the rest of my life!
The phrase, "Toss the biscuit" needs a place in the english literature!
I dont care what it means, it just needs to be used everyday for the rest of my life!
irondave
+0 -0
I laughed more at "Nervous? ..." than I have at anything in a long time. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee! Memories...
I laughed more at "Nervous? ..." than I have at anything in a long time. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee! Memories...
smallblackdog
+0 -0
7 places to toss your biscuits in church reminds me of the time our CEO caught me taking a leak in the company car park 'you mean this is a car park as well'?
7 places to toss your biscuits in church reminds me of the time our CEO caught me taking a leak in the company car park 'you mean this is a car park as well'?
ctrl_z
+0 -0
Roast Beef is the man of action
Roast Beef is the man of action
axhoola
+0 -1
"There ought to be a prison for dudes who think they can make some happiness in this life"
That, Philippe, is the saddest thing.
"There ought to be a prison for dudes who think they can make some happiness in this life"
That, Philippe, is the saddest thing.
parity
+0 -1
I'm getting tired of strips where the punchline is that roast beef did something on the computer
I'm getting tired of strips where the punchline is that roast beef did something on the computer
notcool
+0 -1
I know nobody on the planet is going to ever read this, but...
Yeah. There are more ways to solve problems than PHOTOSHOP and BLOGGING.
I know nobody on the planet is going to ever read this, but...
Yeah. There are more ways to solve problems than PHOTOSHOP and BLOGGING.
deus
+0 -0
Im reading this.
Im reading this.
notcool
+0 -0
I'm glad you're reading this.
I'm glad you're reading this.
tragicone
+0 -0
I just caught Jiminy Hendrix. Hilarious.
I just caught Jiminy Hendrix. Hilarious.
A comment left by trevor328 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, JimTS, AndrewofDOOM, straw, tekende, nothingxs, possums, ppccd, waddie, gladi8orrex, StoatLad, Thorfinn, JTTuba, SixtySwine, kylank, EM2, capnb0b, jfenserty, brimbrim, Lainestin, bigtom, mike24, Rayonatoilet, Kleptonis, Weretrout, morypcaina, woodenteeth, GitarooMan, Lucid, milkpants, MortisInvictus, DougTheHead, Firehawk, DrSkradley, d3athcann0n, luckypyjamas, aHatOfPig, peppill, troutman, gardenhead_, Tragic_Johnson, Backdraft, bixschmix, Qatmandu, prowle4763, Tashara, Doc_Rostov, sleepyhead, littlefatdog, synapse, NumberKillinger, nphares, hardelicious, lorifury, colorlessness, echidnaboy, slug4life, billygoatbiker, tangles, ewakio, SPECTRE, morbo, kestral)
You are a terrible man.
That post proves your terribleness.
As of my viewing it, there were more lames on his post than there were posts in the thread. That is amazing. There should be a prison for people like him.
Your avaticon amuses me.
Yours is unreadable.
Astute readers will notice that it is Phillipe in his "Speaker Sneakers".
Which doesn't change the fact that it's unreadable.
HERE COMES A SPECIAL BOY
Chubby for the Kaga.
A comment left by lawbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, waddie, jollysaintpete, trevor328)
A comment left by woodenteeth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, waddie, flaxplus, LordHumungus, scrumpton, jollysaintpete, farqussus, ActualTaunt, QingofChina, RedGuy)
I'm breaking my silence to say FUCK THAT SHIT! No-one has a monopoly on coolness here! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU'RE KIDDING! SUCKARSE!
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mjfitzge, waddie, jollysaintpete)
A comment left by trevor328 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, daidai, ppccd, waddie, EM2, capnb0b, Rayonatoilet, Kleptonis, milkpants, RedGuy, DrSkradley, gardenhead_, Boyd, Doc_Rostov, colorlessness, Appers, pogo)
so first posts are now an ironic xkcd reference? I always thought they were just a general symbol of douchebaggery.
honestly, i usually hate them as much as anyone, but the sight of the gargantuan brick of lames that assaulted it actually gave me my biggest laugh on assetbar today
Lamed for off-the-list cultural reference.
Here at m.assetbar.com/achewood we have our own literature of "ironic"/post-ironic first posts, including a very charming "FRIST POTS" image that should be a couple of days back in the comments. (I do not care if you ever find it.)
In the font that's used at least on my machine to display these assetbar posts, it's hard to tell an exclamation point from a capital "I", unless you look closely. Closer reading of your post didn't detect any reason to catch an xkcd reference, which I guess proves that I'm an xkcd noob even though I've read all of them.
Regardless, it is not necessary to use another webcomic artist's (or another webcomic's group of fans') preferred variant of "First post!" on this webcomic's message boards, especially when the variant isn't conspicuously unique. (Nothing against Randall Munroe.)
...Fuck along, now.
I find this meatloaf to be shallow and pedantic.
I detest shallow meatloaf. That's why I make mine in an in ground swimming pool.
I am actually proud I didn't pick up an xkcd reference.
what is it?
It's it.
Apparently someone hated Faith No More enough to lame both of you.
Which is pretty lame. At least they could have done this:
Bet you called us "n00bs" as a reference too, huh?
Face it, you're dealing with people who at least TRY to have something original to say occasionally, and you made yourself seem like you had the creative capacity of Michael Bay.
Way to be.
But this does become an increasingly harder place to stand out, with so many funny people posting their little hearts out.
Agreed. V-Chub.
Well technically it would be a tripoly. Or a polypoly.
Oligopoly I believe is the term you are looking for. It is like a monopoly, but with a small group instead of a single entity.
Yea, but come on... polypoly.
wouldn't it be poly o poly?
polly pocket
Chubbied for beating me to one of my favorite words ever.
Obsequious
, purple and clairvoyant... witty and happy and wise...
meh... I'm not talking about coolness. I think those posters are consistently interesting to read. If they did something like First Post, I would say that would very strange. Calm down sweetheart.
What a Fe rocious post.
(since I feel like some lames)
The atomic symbol for iron is Fe
thanks!
I have filed for aforementioned patent as I believe it is my birthright.
V-chubbed for the sheer rage of the post, The man is irratated and he don't give a damn who knows, Its rage like that, that topples the Tsars and Amins of this world...
Maybe i'm just too succeptible to internet anger/E-rage...
All posters are cool.
Some are cooler than others.
farqussus .... I miss your face.
Hah! Whoa!
Whoa!
oh ethel, you are too kind. i, too, miss yours.
Man, people throw about the word "irony" like it grows on trees! Be sparing with your rhetorical devices, please! Imagine this post to the tune of a song by the Bee Gees.
It's cool I like you.