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How couches actually think Monday, May 8, 2006 • read strip Viewing 104 comments:

this is wonderful.

A comment left by mustakrakesh was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CygnusX-1, littlecat, IrishGuy, DShock, kestral)

Whatever, shallow.

whatever, jealous.

There aren't enough 5s in the world to do that final panel justice.

that couch had us all fooled. here we thought it wanted to go to Florida.
*snap*

yeah, classic couch antics!

A comment left by epicurus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tttt2, Connellingus, rhymesforkids, Lokiamis)

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like Florida.

Do Floridians have problems finding places to get pregnant?

You ever get pregg'd in FL? It is so hot and there are gators everywhere.

the thing about gators, is they like babies in a way that is uniquely different than the way that most people like babies. Or at least the way I think most people like babies.

oh, so .. you're saying .. what i do with babies.. isn't normal?

MOTHER.. SHE LIED

Phillipe completely understands about the couch's retirement plans.

A comment left by mrsmuckles was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jesler729, sevenarts, Connellingus)

Why does Philippe have to turn into Eddie Haskel?

That's what I was thinking too.

Right? All with some campy laughter from the audience.

how does phillipe snap. he has flippers.

Phillipe is a river otter, so he has claws (likely webbed). I lived on the Isle of Skye for a year and I failed to see even one damn otter.

Meanwhile Maine is fed up with them, I'm just glad they never try to cross a road

Oh, man, I could not imagine accidentally running over an otter after reading Achewood for so long. On my knees at the side of the road, blubbering out the lyrics to "There Goes a Special Boy."

A BLOO BLA BLOO BLOO!

Appropriate on all levels

High fives all around.

that's a wrap, people

Could have gone to Glenelg. Plenty of otters around there.

I saw a few otters on Skye but then I lived there for six years.

An otter tried to befriend my on Skype, but it was just trying to use me as a free sounding board for practicing English.

It's because he's such a young racaly flippersnapper.

Teodor knows how to deal with children. Did he pick this up from Lie Bot's king piss deceit?

Phillipe's coping mechanisms are fully intact, despite his ordeal.

A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, giessel, lucidaconsole, ep2, TTAGXAMM)

A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ShemmJacc, lucidaconsole, Lumus, lateadopter)

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For Ultra-Peanut of course.

I think this strip was probably inspired by Onstad's kid and dog. Because I don't remember any other dogs.

the stuffed animals all "live" in onstad's house. with his kid. and his dog. so yes.

There's Scrambles, but he is lost.

There's also Ray's false Magreaux dog.

Yeah but that was Bensington Butters, who is a cat (probably?).

No, it was a dog, hired or owned by Bensington Butters.

Téodor is incredible.

Yeah, this is one of Teodor's most inspired moments.

I imagine his voice sounds like Charlie Brown's, somehow...

philippe is so thoughtful

A comment left by deancain29 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by goocifer, isunklower, Connellingus, _cheesekayke)

Oh damn Philippe why can't I just adopt you already

This really reminds me of the Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin's dad tells him that B&W photos are in B&W because The World was in B&W back then.

my dad told me this too. screwed up my worldview for YEARS.

My friend's parents used to say that the bell on the ice cream truck meant that it was out of ice cream.

Saving for your kid's eventual therapy is the new college fund.

Good call with the Calvin and Hobbes nod! Now that I look at Philippe's newspaper cap, it reminds me of the type that Calvin wears on his make-believe sea-faring adventures.

I thought that without anybody telling me. I just assumed .

phillipe gets old man in the last panel

and i've since stolen "that guy!" as a way to express how impressed i am with another's acumen

Téodor shows his rarely-exhibited nurturing side.

Let's don't and say we did!

Philippe is awesome.

In opposition to what people often say on Achewood comments: I've actually been saying "Let's not and say we did" for years. Phillipe, man. I like his styles.

A comment left by byronic was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, Unfun, stopeatingmyeyes, envika, fosters, GMM, peterjoel)

I always thought that the dog "getting pregnant" means that it gave birth on the couch. Now I suddenly realize that it says *getting* into pregnancy, not finishing it...

that was beautiful.

ALTERNATIVE TEXT:

Yeah, let's don't learn Chinese and say we did.

I love that it sounds sarcastic. Once again, the alt-text is not above criticizing the strip.

will they say that they did not learn chinese IN chinese?

that boggles my mind.

"Comprende?"
"..Everything but 'comprende'."

"Capisce?"
"...Catfish?"

Theodore really knows how to white-lie Philippe. Look at those relieved little eyes in frame 10.

I'm drowning in the pure saccharine sweetness of this strip.

It's odd that I can remember alt text sometimes more than the strip itself, but this is definitely the case here.

Sweetest speech to an upset child anyone's ever heard.

I wish my parents would/could have humored me so.

You got a lot of issues related to couch removal?

My issues are deeply... couched?

I lamed you, but only in the way you'd lame your Dad for a joke like that and smirk at the stupid grin on his head.

[IMGS OFF]

...Cods are scary, but mackerel are holy. For some reson this totally commonplace phrase just cracks me up in this context...

secretly Phillipe is scared of China because of the time he dug his way there and came out under the house of a dictator.

He never actually went through with the dig.

But I did go through with the being a dick.

Philippe is not going to China because that is where his terrifyingly foreign girlfriend hails from.

i would believe she is from japan. Although maybe it was stated that she was from china. I am too lazy to look.

I don't believe it stated either way, but the alt text claimed that Onstad's wife is Chinese.

So really WHO KNOWS.

She writes and speaks in traditional Chinese, so i reckon she's Chinese.

Although, if it's traditional she could be Taiwanese. And that's kind of a different country, unless you're from a state that wants to keep on the right side of Beijing.

If the day ever comes when I stop loving Philippe, please kill me.
By the way, this comic assured it, I am buying a Philippe T-Shirt.

...i swear to God i'll tip you as a dying gesture.

Wait. What fucking dog? There are never any dogs in Achewood. And why would Teodor have one and let it have babies on his couch?

Remember, they live in Onstad's house and Onstad has like two dogs.

He was pretty smart, our old couch.

The resolution brings me great joy.

HeartWARMIN aw shucks. *snap*

applesauce!

I did not learnt Chinese, but by god I'm going to say I did. I love Philippe's face in panel ten - that couch is *such* a cut-up!

I don't care if the last time I used this phrase is the only time I've gotten lamed so far, I will use it again dammit.

We can't learn Chinease, that shit is all ching chong wing wong.

Phillipe's "That guy!" realization face is heart-breakingly rendered.

Perfect, Onstad.

One of the best Phillipe faces yet, no doubt.

Are there times when people have gas, and they can help it?

#8675: You're on the couch, and your girlfriend does a :(
Pound your fist on the arm of the couch, and cry "damn dog won't lay off the taquitos--she knows it ain't good for the baby!

I want to put Phillippe in a little jar and carry him around with me.

with tiny air holes for breathing.

I'm glad Philippe didn;t want to learn Chinese. I mean, that shit's crazy! It's all CHING CHONG WING WONG.

This completely made my day.

Why would we want to learn Chinese? It's all "CHING CHONG WING WONG!"

THE ALT TEXT MAKES MY WORLD.

This actually made me tear up, Teodor explaining the retirement days of the couch.

Stupid permanent brain damage caused by paxil. STUPID

I learned Chinese.