henrythecad
+1 -0
Who could forget?
Who could forget?
lacrimus
+1 -2
What the hell pornos has he been watching to learn "I've never met a man as shiny as you?"
What the hell pornos has he been watching to learn "I've never met a man as shiny as you?"
johnnylandmine
+14 -1
German ones, apparently.
German ones, apparently.
gothfae
+32 -0
German produced, "Firefly' parody/homage porno of course.
Or course with the Germans the term 'Browncoat' takes on uncomfortable meanings.
German produced, "Firefly' parody/homage porno of course.
Or course with the Germans the term 'Browncoat' takes on uncomfortable meanings.
straw
+5 -0
How Manflesh hasn't posted a slashfic response to this yet we may never know.
How Manflesh hasn't posted a slashfic response to this yet we may never know.
havenless
+2 -0
I guess the content of the strip makes his contribution moot
I guess the content of the strip makes his contribution moot
rotating-dog
+14 -0
Manflesh instead weeps with joy as his dreams blossom before him.
Manflesh instead weeps with joy as his dreams blossom before him.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Too easy perhaps.
Too easy perhaps.
afkpuz
+2 -0
Look at the way he sips that ice-cold beverage.
With a vengeance.
Look at the way he sips that ice-cold beverage.
With a vengeance.
xuul
+0 -0
A comment left by xuul was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, Dezufnocosem, equinn2006, _cheesekayke, Sargasm, Xaxx, STUART)
A comment left by xuul was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, Dezufnocosem, equinn2006, _cheesekayke, Sargasm, Xaxx, STUART)
wae
+18 -0
Ah, Ray must have purchased the full box set of the Shiny Surface Sheisser Series
Ah, Ray must have purchased the full box set of the Shiny Surface Sheisser Series
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, madnes, apocowarg, Rhadamanthus, riotdejaneiro, mr_lostman28, Dezufnocosem, robobogle, Jesler729, songbirdspectre, equinn2006, handsome, Sargasm, DigDugz, BrokeAccount, aHatOfPig, atomskiscariot, Mastronaut, Dallovich)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, madnes, apocowarg, Rhadamanthus, riotdejaneiro, mr_lostman28, Dezufnocosem, robobogle, Jesler729, songbirdspectre, equinn2006, handsome, Sargasm, DigDugz, BrokeAccount, aHatOfPig, atomskiscariot, Mastronaut, Dallovich)
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, madnes, apocowarg, Rhadamanthus, Dezufnocosem, robobogle, Luke_Johnson, Vondicus, Jesler729, kazad, songbirdspectre, equinn2006, DigDugz, aHatOfPig, ethelthefrog, Mastronaut, STUART, Dallovich)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, madnes, apocowarg, Rhadamanthus, Dezufnocosem, robobogle, Luke_Johnson, Vondicus, Jesler729, kazad, songbirdspectre, equinn2006, DigDugz, aHatOfPig, ethelthefrog, Mastronaut, STUART, Dallovich)
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
A comment left by featurelessvoid was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ethelthefrog, osirisda26, STUART)
A comment left by featurelessvoid was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ethelthefrog, osirisda26, STUART)
twohundredninety
+3 -2
It would be just as funny if you found it in xkcd, but you wouldn't find it there. I love xkcd, but it's not a strip that stands on the merit of its dialogue. And this is really funny dialogue. Even more than the subtle, sensitive delineation of the characters, that's what I like about Achewood.
It would be just as funny if you found it in xkcd, but you wouldn't find it there. I love xkcd, but it's not a strip that stands on the merit of its dialogue. And this is really funny dialogue. Even more than the subtle, sensitive delineation of the characters, that's what I like about Achewood.
gumfish
+7 -0
xkcd doesn't really stand on the merit of anything. Maybe naivete or t-shirt ideas.
What I'm saying is that I dislike it. Yeah, just throwin' that opinion out there like a big gay dove at a magician's show.
xkcd doesn't really stand on the merit of anything. Maybe naivete or t-shirt ideas.
What I'm saying is that I dislike it. Yeah, just throwin' that opinion out there like a big gay dove at a magician's show.
robobogle
+6 -0
I thought it was hilarious. I am guessing that you are in a pouty mood, my friend.
I thought it was hilarious. I am guessing that you are in a pouty mood, my friend.
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, madnes, apocowarg, Rhadamanthus, riotdejaneiro, Dezufnocosem, Luke_Johnson, Jesler729, mashisoyo, KingPete, kazad, songbirdspectre, equinn2006, Sargasm, DigDugz, ZedPower, cognitonaut, sncether, Mastronaut, STUART)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, madnes, apocowarg, Rhadamanthus, riotdejaneiro, Dezufnocosem, Luke_Johnson, Jesler729, mashisoyo, KingPete, kazad, songbirdspectre, equinn2006, Sargasm, DigDugz, ZedPower, cognitonaut, sncether, Mastronaut, STUART)
songbirdspectre
+3 -0
crabby, are we?
crabby, are we?
silver_lake
+0 -0
A comment left by silver_lake was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, robobogle, rhymesforkids, wehavemagnums)
A comment left by silver_lake was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, robobogle, rhymesforkids, wehavemagnums)
honesttom
+7 -1
The joke isn't even that he's saying dirty things, is it? I mean, maybe there are phrases on Urbandictionary.com that I don't know, but I thought the joke was just that Ray wasn't aware what he was saying.
The joke isn't even that he's saying dirty things, is it? I mean, maybe there are phrases on Urbandictionary.com that I don't know, but I thought the joke was just that Ray wasn't aware what he was saying.
jamers
+0 -0
A comment left by jamers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, entropyends, alejandroadam)
A comment left by jamers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, entropyends, alejandroadam)
sol_tee
+0 -0
i figure ray doesnt care that he doesnt know what it means. he's just wasting teodor's time.
(there is no doorbell)
i figure ray doesnt care that he doesnt know what it means. he's just wasting teodor's time.
(there is no doorbell)
thegreatestcape
+0 -0
For me, the joke is that Ray assumes he understands and can speak fluid German. His assumption is so strong that when he is asked a question he does not nearly know enough German to answer, he merely quotes a line from a German porn film, in the false assumption that it will somehow satisfactorily answer the question.
In other words, he is of low mind.
For me, the joke is that Ray assumes he understands and can speak fluid German. His assumption is so strong that when he is asked a question he does not nearly know enough German to answer, he merely quotes a line from a German porn film, in the false assumption that it will somehow satisfactorily answer the question.
In other words, he is of low mind.
tekende
+0 -0
Yes!
Yes!
thegreatestcape
+0 -0
For me, the joke is that Ray assumes he understands and can speak fluid German. His assumption is so strong that when he is asked a question he does not nearly know enough German to answer, he merely quotes a line from a German porn film, in the false assumption that it will somehow satisfactorily answer the question.
In other words, he is of low mind.
For me, the joke is that Ray assumes he understands and can speak fluid German. His assumption is so strong that when he is asked a question he does not nearly know enough German to answer, he merely quotes a line from a German porn film, in the false assumption that it will somehow satisfactorily answer the question.
In other words, he is of low mind.
tekende
+0 -0
Good!
Good!
madnes
+0 -0
A comment left by madnes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, robobogle, rhymesforkids, lateadopter)
A comment left by madnes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, robobogle, rhymesforkids, lateadopter)
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, apocowarg, Luke_Johnson, kazad, equinn2006, onion_lightly, Sargasm, DigDugz, Mastronaut)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, apocowarg, Luke_Johnson, kazad, equinn2006, onion_lightly, Sargasm, DigDugz, Mastronaut)
carterst
+3 -0
Neonfreon is a problem I enjoy.
Neonfreon is a problem I enjoy.
nbgreene
+0 -2
Neonfreon has got NO mercy
Neonfreon has got NO mercy
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, apocowarg, Luke_Johnson, kazad, equinn2006, onion_lightly, Sargasm, Afronaut, carterst, Mastronaut)
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onion_lightly
+1 -0
well shit, that seals the deal, doesn't it?
well shit, that seals the deal, doesn't it?
sargasm
+3 -0
Maybe you should have taken a look at your chubby/lame ratio before resting that case
Maybe you should have taken a look at your chubby/lame ratio before resting that case
neonfreon
+0 -0
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fosters
+16 -0
The number of lames you've given out has nothing to do with your ratio. That is the number of lames you've GOTTEN. You get a lot of them because your posts are lame, your observations are lame, and you are lame.
Also you are very proud to have "led a campaign" to do something on the internet, which makes you lame AND a ridiculous nerd. Congratulations.
The number of lames you've given out has nothing to do with your ratio. That is the number of lames you've GOTTEN. You get a lot of them because your posts are lame, your observations are lame, and you are lame.
Also you are very proud to have "led a campaign" to do something on the internet, which makes you lame AND a ridiculous nerd. Congratulations.
hassanoleary
+0 -0
Oh god, thank you.
Oh god, thank you.
robobogle
+0 -0
Durr... Or maybe it's this one:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua6ptB6h ?
Durr... Or maybe it's this one:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua6ptB6h ?
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Contrasoma, ButterMoths, kazad, equinn2006, Mastronaut, dr_sexlove)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Contrasoma, ButterMoths, kazad, equinn2006, Mastronaut, dr_sexlove)
robobogle
+0 -0
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua6KFGkl
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua6KFGkl
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, Contrasoma, ButterMoths, robobogle, Mangtastic, kazad, equinn2006, Mastronaut)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, Contrasoma, ButterMoths, robobogle, Mangtastic, kazad, equinn2006, Mastronaut)
equinn2006
+6 -0
Oh god enough already.
Oh god enough already.
robobogle
+5 -0
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4JF1RB
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2mxLtZ
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuacRH6vg
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua6bgSQx
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua8KPBfK
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7mGstv
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuadxjT9C
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7gcFxH
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4JF1RB
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2mxLtZ
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuacRH6vg
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua6bgSQx
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua8KPBfK
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7mGstv
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuadxjT9C
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7gcFxH
emma
+0 -0
I have a question and it's not about this strip, but I'm hoping someone can help me.
Does anybody remember the strip where Ray has a sign that says "YES" and it's pointing to his "junk"??? Can you help me find this strip in the archives? :)
I have a question and it's not about this strip, but I'm hoping someone can help me.
Does anybody remember the strip where Ray has a sign that says "YES" and it's pointing to his "junk"??? Can you help me find this strip in the archives? :)
miku224
+12 -0
You're thinking of the xkcd parody of Achewood. If I tried to actually make a link, I think I'd butcher it, but the url is https://xkcd.com/141/
It's nice to know that other people read and love xkcd too.
You're thinking of the xkcd parody of Achewood. If I tried to actually make a link, I think I'd butcher it, but the url is https://xkcd.com/141/
It's nice to know that other people read and love xkcd too.
mattfish
+0 -0
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, Contrasoma, mambonassau, achilleselbow, Audhumla)
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, Contrasoma, mambonassau, achilleselbow, Audhumla)
miku224
+2 -0
The title of the strip is Parody Week: Achewood.
The title of the strip is Parody Week: Achewood.
mattfish
+0 -0
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, Dovey, Contrasoma, goocifer, mambonassau, Afronaut, cognitonaut, werthog42, achilleselbow, Audhumla, wehavemagnums)
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jesler729
+4 -0
I think I would definately count the last... 11 panels as parody.
I think I would definately count the last... 11 panels as parody.
jesler729
+6 -0
Dear past Jesler729,
D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y
Signed, Future Jesler729.
Dear past Jesler729,
D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y
Signed, Future Jesler729.
farqussus
+1 -0
I know you! You're that jesler who can't spell!
I know you! You're that jesler who can't spell!
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Just because you write Achewood fanfiction that probably involves hella cat-on-cat action, doesn't mean everyone else does.
Just because you write Achewood fanfiction that probably involves hella cat-on-cat action, doesn't mean everyone else does.
madnes
+0 -1
My second favourite webcomic parodying my favourite. It's beautiful.
(sorry about that open bbcode earlier. itchy trigger finger).
My second favourite webcomic parodying my favourite. It's beautiful.
(sorry about that open bbcode earlier. itchy trigger finger).
mr_lostman28
+1 -0
This made me smile.
Imagine Ray in Berlin. All making the ladies blush as he's trying to ask what time it is...
This made me smile.
Imagine Ray in Berlin. All making the ladies blush as he's trying to ask what time it is...
zefiel
+1 -0
It could be worse. He could have learned Japanese by watching fansubbed anime.
It could be worse. He could have learned Japanese by watching fansubbed anime.
jackparsons
+0 -0
I learned Star Trek from slash.
I learned Star Trek from slash.
songbirdspectre
+0 -1
i wonder why teodor says daaaaamn in cell 4.
*ponders*
i wonder why teodor says daaaaamn in cell 4.
*ponders*
unaware
+1 -0
I think it's Ray saying daaaamn in panel 4. But I agree - I'm not sure why it's said.
I think it's Ray saying daaaamn in panel 4. But I agree - I'm not sure why it's said.
gothfae
+1 -0
Because Teodor has just offered to Quiz Ray. Ray's response. "Daaaamn."
Because Teodor has just offered to Quiz Ray. Ray's response. "Daaaamn."
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
ah yes. i failed to notice the rectangular shape of the bubble.
ah yes. i failed to notice the rectangular shape of the bubble.
paperboy_2000
+8 -1
More broadly, it's because Ray expects the idea of him learning German through watching porno tapes to be appreciated, not challenged. Teodor will sometimes put up with Ray's nonsense, but he does not have the patience for high-faluting claims about secondary uses for German video erotika.
Ray underestimated his friend on this one.
More broadly, it's because Ray expects the idea of him learning German through watching porno tapes to be appreciated, not challenged. Teodor will sometimes put up with Ray's nonsense, but he does not have the patience for high-faluting claims about secondary uses for German video erotika.
Ray underestimated his friend on this one.
unaware
+1 -0
You've earned that 'Expert' status that floats by your avatar.
You've earned that 'Expert' status that floats by your avatar.
philipmarschall
+0 -0
Nah man, Ray is obviously saying "Daaamn" because he is excited to be quizzed. He feels like this is his chance to shine because he is for some reason extremely confident in his German speaking skills, and expects to pass Teodor's test with flying colors, proving to his friend that he can actually speak German. I doubt he even senses Teodor's incredulity.
Nah man, Ray is obviously saying "Daaamn" because he is excited to be quizzed. He feels like this is his chance to shine because he is for some reason extremely confident in his German speaking skills, and expects to pass Teodor's test with flying colors, proving to his friend that he can actually speak German. I doubt he even senses Teodor's incredulity.
illgamesh
+0 -1
That's Ray over the phone.
Come on.
You can do better.
That's Ray over the phone.
Come on.
You can do better.
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
shit. you're right *shame*
shit. you're right *shame*
stuart
+4 -0
"Who could forget?"
Judging by his state of inebriety at the time, I'd wager Ray could.
"Who could forget?"
Judging by his state of inebriety at the time, I'd wager Ray could.
songbirdspectre
+3 -1
teodor's tiny feet freak me out.
teodor's tiny feet freak me out.
honesttom
+3 -0
I'm amazed he picked up anything that coherent from porn. The best I could get was, "Ja, das ist gut" and "ich kommer".
I'm amazed he picked up anything that coherent from porn. The best I could get was, "Ja, das ist gut" and "ich kommer".
duskbringer
+8 -0
Well, I can recall "MEIN ARSHLOCHE! MEIN ARSHLOCHE!" (sp?). I think that means, "Excuse me, this current activity is causing me no small amount of pain and discomfort. I am also concerned about the downturn in our economy."
Well, I can recall "MEIN ARSHLOCHE! MEIN ARSHLOCHE!" (sp?). I think that means, "Excuse me, this current activity is causing me no small amount of pain and discomfort. I am also concerned about the downturn in our economy."
erhudy
+4 -0
Ich habe mich mit einem Mann so scheinig wie Sie nie getroffen. Es ist ein Problem, das ich genieße.
Mein Tag ist ein von meiner Feier von Ihren Oberflächen faktuellgemachtes zugelassenes Verbrechen. Ich verfolge Ihnen innenhalb meinem Gehirn, Friedelmann.
Ich habe mich mit einem Mann so scheinig wie Sie nie getroffen. Es ist ein Problem, das ich genieße.
Mein Tag ist ein von meiner Feier von Ihren Oberflächen faktuellgemachtes zugelassenes Verbrechen. Ich verfolge Ihnen innenhalb meinem Gehirn, Friedelmann.
gimpson
+1 -0
sort of stoned
sort of stoned
katsura
+2 -0
The fact that the font is so huge behind the censor bar in panel 4 appeared to me, at first, that Ray is SHOUTING this to Teodor.
The fact that the font is so huge behind the censor bar in panel 4 appeared to me, at first, that Ray is SHOUTING this to Teodor.
wargasmic
+6 -0
For the beginning German speaker, everything comes out in a yell. It's tough to control.
For the beginning German speaker, everything comes out in a yell. It's tough to control.
afronaut
+1 -0
The alt text made me laugh the most
The alt text made me laugh the most
projectyl
+9 -0
When I speak on the telephone, I generally am seated. I stand if I'm looking for an object being discussed. The whole "standing in a featureless room engaged in phonetalking and absolutely nothing else" thing I see so much in Achewood... is that a California thing? Do California homes have special featureless "phone rooms" with extra-comfortable carpets in case the call goes long?
When I speak on the telephone, I generally am seated. I stand if I'm looking for an object being discussed. The whole "standing in a featureless room engaged in phonetalking and absolutely nothing else" thing I see so much in Achewood... is that a California thing? Do California homes have special featureless "phone rooms" with extra-comfortable carpets in case the call goes long?
tekende
+0 -0
I tend to walk around when I talk on the phone, rarely staying in once place for more than a minute. This depends on how invested I am in the conversation, though. If I'm not really listening or expect it to be a very short call, I remain seated.
I do not live in California.
I tend to walk around when I talk on the phone, rarely staying in once place for more than a minute. This depends on how invested I am in the conversation, though. If I'm not really listening or expect it to be a very short call, I remain seated.
I do not live in California.
tellumo
+1 -0
I live in California, and my apartment has a room that I always use for talking on the phone. Of course, I live in a studio apartment, so I use that room for pretty much everything I don't use the closet or bathroom for. Also, the carpet is not "extra-comfortable."
I live in California, and my apartment has a room that I always use for talking on the phone. Of course, I live in a studio apartment, so I use that room for pretty much everything I don't use the closet or bathroom for. Also, the carpet is not "extra-comfortable."
cousinted
+2 -0
Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
tttt2
+1 -0
first panel is nearly five-worthy alone
first panel is nearly five-worthy alone
tomshins
+0 -0
this isn't a great strip, but it ain't bad either.
this isn't a great strip, but it ain't bad either.
plezure
+2 -0
I did the same thing But with Inuit.
I did the same thing But with Inuit.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I learned German from listening to Rammstein. If I ever need to proposition a corpse or describe a scene of massive burning carnage, I'm all set.
I learned German from listening to Rammstein. If I ever need to proposition a corpse or describe a scene of massive burning carnage, I'm all set.
st_elmos_fire
+1 -0
if American porn had lines like German porn apparently has it would be much more entertaining
if American porn had lines like German porn apparently has it would be much more entertaining
milo
+1 -0
if someone hasnt already:
1."Ich habe noch nie ein Mann wie Sie als glänzend. Es ist ein Problem, das ich genießen..."
2."Mein Tag ist eine juristische Kriminalität aus sachlichen meiner Feier der Oberflächen. Ich jagen Sie in meinem Gehirn, Friedelmann"
if someone hasnt already:
1."Ich habe noch nie ein Mann wie Sie als glänzend. Es ist ein Problem, das ich genießen..."
2."Mein Tag ist eine juristische Kriminalität aus sachlichen meiner Feier der Oberflächen. Ich jagen Sie in meinem Gehirn, Friedelmann"
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Man dudes get out your asses it's not like he's wronged our damn eyeballs by postin' it.
A comment left by farqussus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Rhadamanthus, Vondicus, barfighting, UndyingSong, Appers)
This strip is a 5 for the alt text. Even Onstad is tiring of Ray's shit.
It's a 3 for the strip, 4 for the alt-text, 5 for your contribution Mr. Dovey. Yes I know this is an unfair way to grade someone else's work.