mr_pete
+7 -0
This was written by a man who knows what hard looks like.
This was written by a man who knows what hard looks like.
killingthejay
+25 -0
Green beret rape Jared's face. He rape Jared's hand. Does Jared cry? Yes.
Green beret rape Jared's face. He rape Jared's hand. Does Jared cry? Yes.
clembot
+4 -0
This one is classic vlad.
This one is classic vlad.
saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, thetrashman, HollyBones, Darthemed)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, thetrashman, HollyBones, Darthemed)
luckypyjamas
+9 -0
or into a biscuit.
that would be symbolic of his triumph
or into a biscuit.
that would be symbolic of his triumph
jonmw
+2 -0
No, he craps JARED into a biscuit
No, he craps JARED into a biscuit
snowman
+6 -0
and they're still flaming
and they're still flaming
centipede_damascus
+6 -0
Vlad comes from hard times. He has no respect for the weak or soft among us.
Vlad comes from hard times. He has no respect for the weak or soft among us.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
Vlad comes from cyber-gulag in former Soviet Republic of Dreckistan. He was made from surplus T-47 Tankski.
Vlad comes from cyber-gulag in former Soviet Republic of Dreckistan. He was made from surplus T-47 Tankski.
ssddr
+10 -0
I enjoy the use of "wiener" as an adjective.
I enjoy the use of "wiener" as an adjective.
delzhand
+0 -1
I love Teodor's indignant look in 1 and 2.
I love Teodor's indignant look in 1 and 2.
rational
+0 -0
Yes, but what's with his arms in the first two panels? Pre-Subway yoga? Homage to Chuck Norris?
Yes, but what's with his arms in the first two panels? Pre-Subway yoga? Homage to Chuck Norris?
rational
+1 -0
Ohhh. Now I see. He's covering his vitals 'cause the fire .
Ohhh. Now I see. He's covering his vitals 'cause the fire .
madnes
+13 -0
OK, so "sex appeal of biscuit with two shits inside" makes me laugh in a gross snorty way at work. Noted.
OK, so "sex appeal of biscuit with two shits inside" makes me laugh in a gross snorty way at work. Noted.
scramblesthedog
+6 -1
This strip is basically a 3 with the exception of that line. Which is a five. THOUSAND.
This strip is basically a 3 with the exception of that line. Which is a five. THOUSAND.
sredni
+0 -0
I absolutely agree
I absolutely agree
odei
+2 -0
I read that line and voted five before I even thought about voting.
I read that line and voted five before I even thought about voting.
judahnielsen
+0 -0
A comment left by judahnielsen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ImitationCrab, gormster, Connellingus, farqussus, Nessotron, scramblesthedog)
A comment left by judahnielsen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ImitationCrab, gormster, Connellingus, farqussus, Nessotron, scramblesthedog)
drskradley
+3 -0
"Biscuit with two shits inside"
Otherwise known as "Limp Bizkit"
"Biscuit with two shits inside"
Otherwise known as "Limp Bizkit"
overmedicated
+0 -0
You called?
You called?
cicadalek
+0 -0
You can tell he's going to let that Falmik Sub burn out and sell it to Philippe anyway.
You can tell he's going to let that Falmik Sub burn out and sell it to Philippe anyway.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
What? WHAT?
What? WHAT?
tekende
+0 -0
The homo says what two times, dear foetus_punch?
The homo says what two times, dear foetus_punch?
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Huh?
Huh?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
In case you're generally confused, I kindly redirect you to this strip
In case you're generally confused, I kindly redirect you to this strip
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
(generally = genuinely)
(generally = genuinely)
epicurus
+23 -0
oh my fucking GOD I love this one. I keep imagining the green beret punching him in the heart and he crumples down clutching his chest, coughs up blood, and moans for like twenty seconds before he dies. It is really, really funny and now I look insane.
oh my fucking GOD I love this one. I keep imagining the green beret punching him in the heart and he crumples down clutching his chest, coughs up blood, and moans for like twenty seconds before he dies. It is really, really funny and now I look insane.
songbirdspectre
+2 -0
"it is really, really funny" always improves a story that may or may not be funny.
chubby.
"it is really, really funny" always improves a story that may or may not be funny.
chubby.
dropkickpikachu
+3 -1
I was gonna say. I can't be the only person here who can find himself cracking up just more and more and more at a strip the more comments I read.
I was gonna say. I can't be the only person here who can find himself cracking up just more and more and more at a strip the more comments I read.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I keep imagining the R.L. Jared being shown this strip by a "friend".
I keep imagining the R.L. Jared being shown this strip by a "friend".
epicurus
+1 -0
OH, I forgot: It takes Jared about 20 seconds of agony to die. These 20 seconds are spent in a very slow extreme close-up of his contorted face. No music plays as he grunts and gasps his last.
Just as he shudders and stills, the subway logo pops up. Subway!
Eat fresh!
OH, I forgot: It takes Jared about 20 seconds of agony to die. These 20 seconds are spent in a very slow extreme close-up of his contorted face. No music plays as he grunts and gasps his last.
Just as he shudders and stills, the subway logo pops up. Subway!
Eat fresh!
clembot
+0 -2
i agree classic vlad
i agree classic vlad
qatipay
+1 -0
In the last panel, Teodor seriously considers this proposition.
In the last panel, Teodor seriously considers this proposition.
qingofchina
+13 -0
I good punch to the heart is pretty hard to beat. But you can't always tell that its a punch to the heart, so jared would have to scream AUUGH MY HEAAART
I good punch to the heart is pretty hard to beat. But you can't always tell that its a punch to the heart, so jared would have to scream AUUGH MY HEAAART
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
"WHY DID YOU PUNCH MY HEART? AUUGH! WHYYYYY?"
"WHY DID YOU PUNCH MY HEART? AUUGH! WHYYYYY?"
songbirdspectre
+1 -0
I almost peed my pants. I laughed so hard that I died.
I almost peed my pants. I laughed so hard that I died.
stuart
+0 -0
A comment left by stuart was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Badganjil, ohmygooses, fmercury, Wulvaine, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by stuart was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Badganjil, ohmygooses, fmercury, Wulvaine, I_Love_Kate)
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
aw mannnnn
aw mannnnn
pitseleh
+0 -0
Good God. I wish I could see the commercial come to be. That would make me so happy.
Good God. I wish I could see the commercial come to be. That would make me so happy.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Your avatar makes that comment hilarious...it also makes Phillipe seem bloodthirsty. Disturbingly cute.
Your avatar makes that comment hilarious...it also makes Phillipe seem bloodthirsty. Disturbingly cute.
josher
+0 -0
On the subject of Achewood borrowings, I frequently describe bad things that I encounter as being like "a biscuit with two shits inside".
On the subject of Achewood borrowings, I frequently describe bad things that I encounter as being like "a biscuit with two shits inside".
shoinan
+1 -0
Girls would rather sleep with a biscuit with two shits inside than with Jared.
Girls would rather sleep with a biscuit with two shits inside than with Jared.
grtfldvr
+2 -0
Agreed, he's hella terrible. I always thought Jared was rogering Clay the Fireman from that one 'real people' Subway commercial until I saw where he got married...to a girl.
Agreed, he's hella terrible. I always thought Jared was rogering Clay the Fireman from that one 'real people' Subway commercial until I saw where he got married...to a girl.
grtfldvr
+1 -0
Clay Henry slides down the firepole as his jingle plays in the backgrownd.
His name is Henry
Clay Henry
He's a fireman and a Jared fan
From Subway
He got real big on burgers and fries
Now he's down to a smaller size
Gets his might from his veggie delight
Great taste each day from his local Subway
He's Henry
Clay Henry
Clay Henry slides down the firepole as his jingle plays in the backgrownd.
His name is Henry
Clay Henry
He's a fireman and a Jared fan
From Subway
He got real big on burgers and fries
Now he's down to a smaller size
Gets his might from his veggie delight
Great taste each day from his local Subway
He's Henry
Clay Henry
spinynorman
+13 -0
Jokes filtered through Choppy Russian Dialect gain 40-80% hilarity.
Jokes filtered through Choppy Russian Dialect gain 40-80% hilarity.
sexualhomeboy
+12 -1
In Soviet Russia, hilarious jokes gain 40-80% Russian dialect.
In Soviet Russia, hilarious jokes gain 40-80% Russian dialect.
bjorntd
+1 -1
In Soviet Russia, a chubby has you!
In Soviet Russia, a chubby has you!
lux
+0 -0
Hot.
Hot.
lucid
+0 -0
Through reading Achewood I have realised that Eastern European English is far more hilarious than any poorly translated Japanese.
Through reading Achewood I have realised that Eastern European English is far more hilarious than any poorly translated Japanese.
mountaindewtab
+0 -0
i would like to be that green beret
i would like to be that green beret
johnmatrix
+0 -0
A comment left by johnmatrix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, TonyHighwind, farqussus, theplaidknight, aparrish)
A comment left by johnmatrix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, TonyHighwind, farqussus, theplaidknight, aparrish)
presterjohn
+5 -1
I too enjoy taking jokes and trimming off the excess funny.
Seriously, what the hell, man?
I too enjoy taking jokes and trimming off the excess funny.
Seriously, what the hell, man?
johnmatrix
+0 -0
A comment left by johnmatrix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, TonyHighwind, farqussus)
A comment left by johnmatrix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, TonyHighwind, farqussus)
shoinan
+7 -0
Dude, two shits in a biscuit will never roll off the tongue nicely.
Dude, two shits in a biscuit will never roll off the tongue nicely.
johnmatrix
+1 -0
I knew someone would say that.
I knew someone would say that.
shoinan
+0 -0
Proof that the lack of a delete button works!
Proof that the lack of a delete button works!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It sounds better in Russian. 2 %u0434%u0435%u0440%u044C%u043C%u0430 %u0432 %u043F%u0435%u0447%u0435%u043D%u044C%u0435
It sounds better in Russian. 2 %u0434%u0435%u0440%u044C%u043C%u0430 %u0432 %u043F%u0435%u0447%u0435%u043D%u044C%u0435
farqussus
+1 -1
so does "get 'er done." Are you that guy?
so does "get 'er done." Are you that guy?
overman
+0 -0
I love biscuts.
I love biscuts.
charchar
+0 -0
Still? you're a far better person than I.
Still? you're a far better person than I.
charchar
+0 -0
yo, could 'Flamink' be perhaps a Jared slam or..a wish?
yo, could 'Flamink' be perhaps a Jared slam or..a wish?
mattylite
+0 -0
One day I'm gonna wipe my ass with the thickest slices of the freshest-baked bread. But 'til then I guess I'll just keep shittin' in these biscuits.
One day I'm gonna wipe my ass with the thickest slices of the freshest-baked bread. But 'til then I guess I'll just keep shittin' in these biscuits.
mattylite
+5 -1
All squattin' over the griddle, servin' 'em up like this:
All squattin' over the griddle, servin' 'em up like this:
straw
+1 -0
That picture has driven me to drink.
I mean, I was drinking already, but, you know.
That picture has driven me to drink.
I mean, I was drinking already, but, you know.
jezebel
+0 -0
You, too? Cheers.
You, too? Cheers.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
McDonald's, where "growing your brand" means actually branding the fucking food with a hot iron "M".
McDonald's, where "growing your brand" means actually branding the fucking food with a hot iron "M".
hereward
+0 -0
The thing I like is the animate lines around the sandwich in 2nd panel, as if Vlad's hand is shaking in eagerness for teodor to take it.
The thing I like is the animate lines around the sandwich in 2nd panel, as if Vlad's hand is shaking in eagerness for teodor to take it.
snowman
+0 -0
Teodor's defensive posture arms win.
Teodor's defensive posture arms win.
invidious
+1 -0
This was the strip my roommate sent me the link to that was my introduction to Achewood. I voted this strip a five only because I couldn't give it a fifty. That last line is the greatest.
This was the strip my roommate sent me the link to that was my introduction to Achewood. I voted this strip a five only because I couldn't give it a fifty. That last line is the greatest.
tessebatt
+0 -0
Oh God. Vlad. Classic Vlad. I so love this guy. So love.
Oh God. Vlad. Classic Vlad. I so love this guy. So love.
alaric101
+0 -0
I laff because I am a cruel cold hearted bastard. I wonder if Vlad spent anytime in a Stalinist workcamp...
I laff because I am a cruel cold hearted bastard. I wonder if Vlad spent anytime in a Stalinist workcamp...
mikeronomicon
+1 -0
I just laughed so hard milk duds came out my nose and all over my monitor. Good thing I'm at work.
I just laughed so hard milk duds came out my nose and all over my monitor. Good thing I'm at work.
fancyrat
+0 -0
Yet another Achewood phrase absorbed into my vernacular. I now refer to Steve Buscemi as having the sex appeal of a biscuit with two shits inside.
Yet another Achewood phrase absorbed into my vernacular. I now refer to Steve Buscemi as having the sex appeal of a biscuit with two shits inside.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
Damn that sandwich is gonna be burned all to hell by the time anyone gets around to eating it.
Damn that sandwich is gonna be burned all to hell by the time anyone gets around to eating it.
Hell, i'd start buying from subway if they had ads like that.