brycemidas
+1 -0
Oh Hell!
Oh Hell!
bumpishound
+0 -0
Ray popped hisself!
Ray popped hisself!
telescreen
+0 -1
Perhaps this will explain his hell of apparent weight gain.
Perhaps this will explain his hell of apparent weight gain.
blueloggy
+0 -0
I was thinking this too! And once the draining has stopped he'll have a six-pack (of abs.)
I was thinking this too! And once the draining has stopped he'll have a six-pack (of abs.)
telescreen
+0 -2
I think he needs that six pack now. (of beer.)
I think he needs that six pack now. (of beer.)
jonno
+26 -0
I think he needs a six pack of immediate medical attention.
I think he needs a six pack of immediate medical attention.
d-pad
+0 -0
If it's okay with you, I'm going to start saying this at every available opportunity. That is all.
If it's okay with you, I'm going to start saying this at every available opportunity. That is all.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Acheworld, you are so much smarter than me!
That's it: it's years worth of stored up Ketel One, Cuervo and beer. It is likely a very fine brew.
Acheworld, you are so much smarter than me!
That's it: it's years worth of stored up Ketel One, Cuervo and beer. It is likely a very fine brew.
hardelicious
+0 -0
Does Ray drink Cuervo? I'd figure him for a Conquistador man till the end of days...
Does Ray drink Cuervo? I'd figure him for a Conquistador man till the end of days...
kamet
+0 -0
Patron.
Patron.
tekende
+0 -0
PATROOOOOOONNNN!!
PATROOOOOOONNNN!!
sardoniclaconic
+2 -1
Heineken? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!
Heineken? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!
rowboat
+0 -0
Sardoniclaconic, I so didn't mean to lame that. I so meant to do the exact opposite.
Here's to your fuck, Sardoniclaconic.
Sardoniclaconic, I so didn't mean to lame that. I so meant to do the exact opposite.
Here's to your fuck, Sardoniclaconic.
fermatprime
+0 -0
Man, I just watched that movie and was pitiful enough to seem to remember someone dissin' Heineken on these here boards, so I was going to make that comment.
And you beat me to it.
Man, I just watched that movie and was pitiful enough to seem to remember someone dissin' Heineken on these here boards, so I was going to make that comment.
And you beat me to it.
tekende
+0 -0
(This was a Vanilla Sky reference. Probably a bit of an obscure one at that.)
(This was a Vanilla Sky reference. Probably a bit of an obscure one at that.)
strix22
+0 -0
Don Julio, Yo!
Don Julio, Yo!
zapatos
+0 -0
I think Ray just drinks.
I think Ray just drinks.
akarroa
+0 -0
Do you think it is rad to have alchoholism, Ray?
Do you think it is rad to have alchoholism, Ray?
zapatos
+0 -0
Ray is a man of action, he does not have time to ponder this question. Sure RB is concerned, and yes it is a humorous reference... but Ray doesn't think about how rad it is or is not to have alchoholism. He just has it.
Ray is a man of action, he does not have time to ponder this question. Sure RB is concerned, and yes it is a humorous reference... but Ray doesn't think about how rad it is or is not to have alchoholism. He just has it.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
You're only an alchoholic if it gets in the way of normal living. But if for you normal living is constancy of booze and drugs...?
You're only an alchoholic if it gets in the way of normal living. But if for you normal living is constancy of booze and drugs...?
spinynorman
+1 -0
I'm guessin Ray's actually an outtie, what with how he's spraying out mucus all over the fuckin place
I'm guessin Ray's actually an outtie, what with how he's spraying out mucus all over the fuckin place
bumpishound
+0 -0
Ray really ought to get that looked at.
Ray really ought to get that looked at.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But not by me.
But not by me.
smilebuddha
+2 -0
Mucus? Snot funny, spinynorman.
Snot funny at all.
Mucus? Snot funny, spinynorman.
Snot funny at all.
bumpishound
+0 -0
Boo! Grr!
Boo! Grr!
hamscout
+1 -0
aww tchoo knock it off right now!
aww tchoo knock it off right now!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
You won't get chubbies that way!
You won't get chubbies that way!
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Sometime, botte, sometimes chubbies ain't the point at all. Sometimes ( hitches up belt, pauses, spits dryly ), ya do it, 'cause you're bored. Sometimes 'cause there ain't a damn thing on the tube. ( beat, fishes for a pack of Lucky Strikes )
Sometimes ya do it...just because it needs doin' .
Sometime, botte, sometimes chubbies ain't the point at all. Sometimes ( hitches up belt, pauses, spits dryly ), ya do it, 'cause you're bored. Sometimes 'cause there ain't a damn thing on the tube. ( beat, fishes for a pack of Lucky Strikes )
Sometimes ya do it...just because it needs doin' .
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Aye-Aye! (It's like your avatar is talking to me.) And I never said I disapproved. But you really won't get cubbies that way!
Aye-Aye! (It's like your avatar is talking to me.) And I never said I disapproved. But you really won't get cubbies that way!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Cool! Ya' got some chubbies anyway!
Cool! Ya' got some chubbies anyway!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Happy to have helped.
Happy to have helped.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
(Looks like I won't get chubbies this way. Damn!)
(Looks like I won't get chubbies this way. Damn!)
daidai
+3 -0
Sometimes, there's a man...
Sometimes, there's a man...
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Wait, wait, wait...don't you mean to start by saying:
" In a world... " [/donlafontaine] ?
Wait, wait, wait...don't you mean to start by saying:
" In a world... " [/donlafontaine] ?
hardelicious
+0 -0
may he rest in peace.
may he rest in peace.
hardelicious
+5 -0
that is, may he rest in a world - where peace lurks - around every corner.
that is, may he rest in a world - where peace lurks - around every corner.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I'm not certain he did...but the dude abides.
I'm not certain he did...but the dude abides.
mangtastic
+2 -0
Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude.
Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude.
octafish
+3 -0
...I woudn't call him a hero, because what is a hero?
...I woudn't call him a hero, because what is a hero?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Shoot...I lost my train of thought.
Shoot...I lost my train of thought.
irondave
+0 -0
You all done introduced it enough.
You all done introduced it enough.
theguitarhero
+10 -0
Shut the fuck up, internet.
Shut the fuck up, internet.
promac
+0 -0
I wish I could chub this more than once.
I wish I could chub this more than once.
talix18
+0 -0
Chubbed on your behalf.
Chubbed on your behalf.
zeal
+1 -0
Guitarhero's the chief of police of Malibu, real reactionary.
Guitarhero's the chief of police of Malibu, real reactionary.
aperson
+0 -0
man
man
onepapertiger
+0 -0
THIS IS THE TEXT VERSION OF HIGH-FIVING YOU.
SLAP.
:O
THIS IS THE TEXT VERSION OF HIGH-FIVING YOU.
SLAP.
:O
akarroa
+0 -0
How 'bout
(>^-^)/ll\(^-^<)
How 'bout
(>^-^)/ll\(^-^<)
vandenbos
+5 -0
I hope my employers never look at my browsing history.
I hope my employers never look at my browsing history.
bigtex
+3 -0
Panel 5 has been known to get folks fired.
Panel 5 has been known to get folks fired.
davey-boy
+3 -0
It gained this noteriety within ten minutes of it's inception.
It gained this noteriety within ten minutes of it's inception.
chilibone
+3 -0
imagine any sexual act that makes the sound "scrut scrut scrut"
imagine any sexual act that makes the sound "scrut scrut scrut"
hardelicious
+2 -0
I dare you to imagine one that doesn't, at some point, make that sound.
I dare you to imagine one that doesn't, at some point, make that sound.
mrwombat
+0 -0
As a child, I somehow missed out on the concept of a nosejob until well into my teenage years, and so found the word mildly confusing until some celebrity I was aware of actually had one done.
No scrutting there, only schiffs and squelches.
As a child, I somehow missed out on the concept of a nosejob until well into my teenage years, and so found the word mildly confusing until some celebrity I was aware of actually had one done.
No scrutting there, only schiffs and squelches.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
The onomatopoeia of rhinoplasty!
The onomatopoeia of rhinoplasty!
albinosquid
+0 -0
Is it a sign of extremely perversion or sleep deprivation that my first thought upon reading 'nosejob' was to ponder the mechanics of a nose-based sexual act?
Is it a sign of extremely perversion or sleep deprivation that my first thought upon reading 'nosejob' was to ponder the mechanics of a nose-based sexual act?
cromar
+0 -0
My story's that it's because of sleep deprivation.
My story's that it's because of sleep deprivation.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
"Ned the Nostril was very popular around the cell block. One day, he blew his nose and eviscerated his entire brain. So, class, was it a suicide?"
"Ned the Nostril was very popular around the cell block. One day, he blew his nose and eviscerated his entire brain. So, class, was it a suicide?"
mrwombat
+0 -0
Given that my post was about nasal sex, it seems like a pretty normal interpretation.
Given that my post was about nasal sex, it seems like a pretty normal interpretation.
eidolem
+0 -0
I haven't been this grossed out by Achewood since the one with the waterfallin' maggots.
I haven't been this grossed out by Achewood since the one with the waterfallin' maggots.
bumpishound
+12 -1
Also, Tina should not of yelled at Beef like that.
Also, Tina should not of yelled at Beef like that.
singtralala
+0 -0
seriously, what the hell tina
seriously, what the hell tina
hamscout
+0 -0
I see what you did there...
I see what you did there...
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
It hurts to look at.
It hurts to look at.
tekende
+0 -0
So does your avatar.
So does your avatar.
thegoodwillgirl
+3 -0
Right!?
It's all like, "BONES, BONES, BONES..."
Right!?
It's all like, "BONES, BONES, BONES..."
akarroa
+0 -0
cdumas
+0 -0
I am playing Odinsphere, and after eating the lamb or chicken there is a bone. And every time I see it I think, "you mean your sister's new husband that I... boned?" And then I use it to bone someone else, thus continuing the chain of bones.
I am playing Odinsphere, and after eating the lamb or chicken there is a bone. And every time I see it I think, "you mean your sister's new husband that I... boned?" And then I use it to bone someone else, thus continuing the chain of bones.
skiddysmith
+0 -0
You done hella overstepped!
You done hella overstepped!
lucidz
+1 -0
Tina is old school ex girlfriend, and remembers not wanting to put up with Beef from before. This means she is a jerk.
Tina is old school ex girlfriend, and remembers not wanting to put up with Beef from before. This means she is a jerk.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I was going to correct your spelling!
...But then I got it. So I chubbied you instead.
I was going to correct your spelling!
...But then I got it. So I chubbied you instead.
catachresis
+0 -1
Bad grammar should not have got this many chubbies
Bad grammar should not have got this many chubbies
loneal
+1 -0
If you're gonna get all up in someone else's property about grammar, you should probably use correct grammar yourself. "Bad grammar should not have gotten this many chubbies." Or you could chill out about other folks' talking ways. Whichever.
If you're gonna get all up in someone else's property about grammar, you should probably use correct grammar yourself. "Bad grammar should not have gotten this many chubbies." Or you could chill out about other folks' talking ways. Whichever.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
If I remember rightly, Catachresis is a Brit, and for some reason we don't use "gotten". British English has never quite got the hang of that particular past participle (a little alliteration for the literati)
If I remember rightly, Catachresis is a Brit, and for some reason we don't use "gotten". British English has never quite got the hang of that particular past participle (a little alliteration for the literati)
fallow_fields
+0 -0
when your bellybutton is gushing liquid, nothing else matters
when your bellybutton is gushing liquid, nothing else matters
meddle
+23 -0
Lint I seek, and I find in you
I scratched too deep, I never knew
That I'd wind up gushing goo
And nothing else matters
(this should not be taken as an endorsement of the song parodied)
Lint I seek, and I find in you
I scratched too deep, I never knew
That I'd wind up gushing goo
And nothing else matters
(this should not be taken as an endorsement of the song parodied)
fallow_fields
+6 -0
SO chubbied
SO chubbied
meddle
+2 -0
Aw man, clear fluid everywhere!
Aw man, clear fluid everywhere!
meddle
+1 -0
Fortunately, that kid does not look likely to be a mayor.
Fortunately, that kid does not look likely to be a mayor.
eidolem
+0 -0
They all laughed at Jesse "The Body" Ventura, too!
They all laughed at Jesse "The Body" Ventura, too!
davey-boy
+1 -0
They still do.
They still do.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
with good reason
with good reason
nice-on-water
+13 -0
You must not be looking close enough.
Also he's wearing spats over his flip flops but you can't see that.
You must not be looking close enough.
Also he's wearing spats over his flip flops but you can't see that.
awko
+0 -0
Chubbied so damn hard.
Chubbied so damn hard.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Is soooo good.
Is soooo good.
streever
+0 -0
ACE OF SPADES!
ACE OF SPADES!
zapatos
+0 -0
aah shiiit
aah shiiit
catjumpjohn
+0 -0
I give this a high rating because I am terribly disgusted.
I give this a high rating because I am terribly disgusted.
fallow_fields
+1 -0
the first thing I saw was the middle strip of panels, and I thought 'Onstad has finally gone off the kitty-pron deep end :O'. It was the first time I had ever been relieved to see a finger in a belly button
the first thing I saw was the middle strip of panels, and I thought 'Onstad has finally gone off the kitty-pron deep end :O'. It was the first time I had ever been relieved to see a finger in a belly button
omni
+0 -0
Comment left by omni ignored.
Comment left by omni ignored.
eidolem
+1 -0
Whoa, step back, dude. That is not Okay.
Whoa, step back, dude. That is not Okay.
davey-boy
+0 -0
The first thing I saw of this strip was panels four through seven. It took a lot of will to read after that.
The first thing I saw of this strip was panels four through seven. It took a lot of will to read after that.
singtralala
+0 -0
oh man i haven't look'd at my bellybutton in quite a while. hopefully this won't come my way.
oh man i haven't look'd at my bellybutton in quite a while. hopefully this won't come my way.
inspectorgadget
+7 -0
Ray just drained the fragile skull of his unborn twin. BLUUUUUURRRGGGHHHH.
Ray just drained the fragile skull of his unborn twin. BLUUUUUURRRGGGHHHH.
ham_shoes
+7 -0
Ray's diabetes is flowing out of him.
Ray's diabetes is flowing out of him.
lucidz
+0 -0
He should patent that
He should patent that
hardelicious
+1 -0
we ran some surveys and rounded up some test groups and we found out that, no, there is not a target market of those wanting to pay money for diabetes.
we ran some surveys and rounded up some test groups and we found out that, no, there is not a target market of those wanting to pay money for diabetes.
talbain
+0 -0
Two things.
A) Ray should have never gone around in there with a claw.
B) Why did Tina wait for Beef to come around instead of calling a damn doctor?
Two things.
A) Ray should have never gone around in there with a claw.
B) Why did Tina wait for Beef to come around instead of calling a damn doctor?
westsider8
+1 -0
I always thought the rule was to never stick anything smaller than your elbow in your belly button. Or wait, was that the Cosmo guide for sizing your dildo? My small brain gets confused.
I always thought the rule was to never stick anything smaller than your elbow in your belly button. Or wait, was that the Cosmo guide for sizing your dildo? My small brain gets confused.
akarroa
+0 -0
I am now afraid to even touch my bellybutton, as I do have claws. (not a dewclaw joke)
I am now afraid to even touch my bellybutton, as I do have claws. (not a dewclaw joke)
chestnimitz
+1 -0
holy gawd i am crying from laughing so hard. this is the most disgusting achewood i have ever read.
holy gawd i am crying from laughing so hard. this is the most disgusting achewood i have ever read.
spinynorman
+1 -0
yeah, this is definitely not the direction I thought this would go
I definitely did not anticipate the mucus-spewing belly button direction in a strip about entrepreneurship
yeah, this is definitely not the direction I thought this would go
I definitely did not anticipate the mucus-spewing belly button direction in a strip about entrepreneurship
tekende
+9 -0
Yet that is exactly what you see here
Yet that is exactly what you see here
likeiwassaying
+0 -0
it is rare that I laugh out loud at assetbar, but yet that is also exactly what I see here.
it is rare that I laugh out loud at assetbar, but yet that is also exactly what I see here.
steev_dayv
+1 -0
I would think poorly of you had you expected it.
I would think poorly of you had you expected it.
flyi80
+0 -0
When the medical help arrives, maybe they can check on Little Nephew while they are there. Just follow the loose ends to his carcass.
When the medical help arrives, maybe they can check on Little Nephew while they are there. Just follow the loose ends to his carcass.
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
Tina is so mad that the cat is disgusting that she will not call a doctor on his behalf.
Tina is so mad that the cat is disgusting that she will not call a doctor on his behalf.
omni
+0 -0
Comment left by omni ignored.
Comment left by omni ignored.
meddle
+0 -0
This alt text is a reliable source of Truth. I know it is kind of weak to post the alt text, but every time I see a reference to it low on the page I have to scroll up because I can't remember that shit. With that in mind: "It's a clear fluid, not blood. In a way, that's worse."
On the other hand, this one is kind of memorable.
This alt text is a reliable source of Truth. I know it is kind of weak to post the alt text, but every time I see a reference to it low on the page I have to scroll up because I can't remember that shit. With that in mind: "It's a clear fluid, not blood. In a way, that's worse."
On the other hand, this one is kind of memorable.
kamet
+0 -0
Theories:
A deeply imbedded pimple in his belly-button area.
A rupturned Hernia.
A second urethra that has... somehow... worked it's way into the belly button, and has gained clearance because of his finger clearing the belly button lint?
Theories:
A deeply imbedded pimple in his belly-button area.
A rupturned Hernia.
A second urethra that has... somehow... worked it's way into the belly button, and has gained clearance because of his finger clearing the belly button lint?
kamet
+0 -0
Rupturned. That's a fun new word.
Rupturned. That's a fun new word.
meddle
+0 -0
Sounds pretty painful.
Sounds pretty painful.
kamet
+0 -0
Now that I think about it.. if you had a sharp, pointy cat claw, would you really want to go poking around in pseudo-orifices with it?
Now that I think about it.. if you had a sharp, pointy cat claw, would you really want to go poking around in pseudo-orifices with it?
irondave
+0 -0
You certainly do not want to go knuckle deep with it. That was Careless.
You certainly do not want to go knuckle deep with it. That was Careless.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I'd say the unexpected twist is back. Honestly never saw that curve coming. (We should be grateful it came well AFTER lunch.) But what comes next? WHAT COMES NEXT?!
One unlikely but fun scenario: He dies and meets that purrfect feline in a low-rent dig in Heaven, and visits Little Nephew to boot. Will he bring him back with him?
I'd say the unexpected twist is back. Honestly never saw that curve coming. (We should be grateful it came well AFTER lunch.) But what comes next? WHAT COMES NEXT?!
One unlikely but fun scenario: He dies and meets that purrfect feline in a low-rent dig in Heaven, and visits Little Nephew to boot. Will he bring him back with him?
daidai
+0 -0
Puns make me sad :(
Puns make me sad :(
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Not intended to pun-ish you (he purred playfully while consuming a large quiche).
Not intended to pun-ish you (he purred playfully while consuming a large quiche).
zapatos
+0 -0
If he dies from this, it could be accidental suicide? Straight to hell... again.
If he dies from this, it could be accidental suicide? Straight to hell... again.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Suicide is all in intent. It can't be "accidental". This would be a tragic (if perhaps mind-boggling) way to check out, but it certainly isn't suicide when he goes down begging for a doctor!
Suicide is all in intent. It can't be "accidental". This would be a tragic (if perhaps mind-boggling) way to check out, but it certainly isn't suicide when he goes down begging for a doctor!
zapatos
+0 -0
So if you were going to shoot yourself in the brains, but had to go to the bathroom real bad and set the gun down but it went off and blew away your thumb/ kidney/ kneecap and were laying there screaming for help in the middle of Starbucks but blead to death, it wouldn't be suicide?
So if you were going to shoot yourself in the brains, but had to go to the bathroom real bad and set the gun down but it went off and blew away your thumb/ kidney/ kneecap and were laying there screaming for help in the middle of Starbucks but blead to death, it wouldn't be suicide?
aperson
+0 -0
That's legally referred to as 'ignominious suicide'.
That's legally referred to as 'ignominious suicide'.
featurelessvoid
+3 -0
or "performance art," in some circles
or "performance art," in some circles
lechatbotte
+0 -0
What was the honest intent? Seriously, if you are for real set on offing yourself, you do it before relieving yourself, because you expect the ultimate relief. Similarly, when you blow out a painful part of the flesh, you bleed to death screaming for someone to give ya' the gun so you can do it proper, not for a doctor. If you're screaming for a doctor, you not really suicidal!
Beyond that, when playing with firearms, one might just have present in mind the possibility of lethal injury being an outcome. I honestly never thought of playing with belly buttons as positing such possibility, nor do I think Ray would have.
What was the honest intent? Seriously, if you are for real set on offing yourself, you do it before relieving yourself, because you expect the ultimate relief. Similarly, when you blow out a painful part of the flesh, you bleed to death screaming for someone to give ya' the gun so you can do it proper, not for a doctor. If you're screaming for a doctor, you not really suicidal!
Beyond that, when playing with firearms, one might just have present in mind the possibility of lethal injury being an outcome. I honestly never thought of playing with belly buttons as positing such possibility, nor do I think Ray would have.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Further thought, it really doesn't matter how WE judge the thing. It's God's call what is authentic suicide.
Further thought, it really doesn't matter how WE judge the thing. It's God's call what is authentic suicide.
zapatos
+0 -0
Well if God decides, I'm in trouble.
Well if God decides, I'm in trouble.
werewolves
+0 -0
I almost barfed on the ground when I read this. This is a very real fear of mine.
I almost barfed on the ground when I read this. This is a very real fear of mine.
deadpool
+0 -0
It should only be scary if you prod your navel often...
So, you do?
It should only be scary if you prod your navel often...
So, you do?
lechatbotte
+1 -0
Not anymore...I just quit - forever!
Not anymore...I just quit - forever!
emosexy
+0 -0
It is of my sister's. She once messed with her bellybutton once so much that it bled, but only a little. She just scratched too much. And after reading this strip, I about threw up in my mouth.
It is of my sister's. She once messed with her bellybutton once so much that it bled, but only a little. She just scratched too much. And after reading this strip, I about threw up in my mouth.
flazisismuss
+3 -0
The mysterious clear liquid is worse since you know approximately how much blood you have. I think I have about nine or ten fifths worth of blood but who know how much clear fluid you have left at any given time?
The mysterious clear liquid is worse since you know approximately how much blood you have. I think I have about nine or ten fifths worth of blood but who know how much clear fluid you have left at any given time?
deadpool
+0 -0
You know a very common clear liquid?
Also happens to be a lot of it in a healthy body.
Yep, water.
You know a very common clear liquid?
Also happens to be a lot of it in a healthy body.
Yep, water.
flazisismuss
+1 -0
Do people really have little pockets of water around their body? I think that the H2O we've got is mixed up with other stuff. If I poked myself and pure water poured out I wouldn't writhe on the floor in pain and fear. I would stare at it with wonder, and giggle.
Do people really have little pockets of water around their body? I think that the H2O we've got is mixed up with other stuff. If I poked myself and pure water poured out I wouldn't writhe on the floor in pain and fear. I would stare at it with wonder, and giggle.
daidai
+0 -0
That's what Jesus, did when this happened.
That's what Jesus, did when this happened.
daidai
+3 -0
New rule: Jesus, is so cool he gets a free comma after his name.
New rule: Jesus, is so cool he gets a free comma after his name.
tekende
+2 -0
Jesus, is just all right with me...
Jesus, is just all right with me...
hardelicious
+0 -0
hardelicious
+2 -0
26."And yea, the centurion thrust his unkempt fingernail into His navel, saying 'Verily, the tinder of the belly of the Son of Man shall fetch five drachmas at the market.' 27.But there issued forth a fount of water 28.and the crowd was sore afraid."
--Terrence 5:26-28
26."And yea, the centurion thrust his unkempt fingernail into His navel, saying 'Verily, the tinder of the belly of the Son of Man shall fetch five drachmas at the market.' 27.But there issued forth a fount of water 28.and the crowd was sore afraid."
--Terrence 5:26-28
hardelicious
+0 -0
26."And yea, the centurion thrust his unkempt fingernail into His navel, saying 'Verily, the tinder of the belly of the Son of Man shall fetch five drachmas at the market.' 27.But there issued forth a fount of water 28.and the crowd was sore afraid."
--Terrence 5:26-28
26."And yea, the centurion thrust his unkempt fingernail into His navel, saying 'Verily, the tinder of the belly of the Son of Man shall fetch five drachmas at the market.' 27.But there issued forth a fount of water 28.and the crowd was sore afraid."
--Terrence 5:26-28
hardelicious
+0 -0
26."And yea, the centurion thrust his unkempt fingernail into His navel, saying 'Verily, the tinder of the belly of the Son of Man shall fetch five drachmas at the market.' 27.But there issued forth a fount of water 28.and the crowd was sore afraid."
--Terrence 5:26-28
26."And yea, the centurion thrust his unkempt fingernail into His navel, saying 'Verily, the tinder of the belly of the Son of Man shall fetch five drachmas at the market.' 27.But there issued forth a fount of water 28.and the crowd was sore afraid."
--Terrence 5:26-28
hardelicious
+2 -0
It's like when Bush Sr. tried to be polite and follow customs and ended up throwing up on the Japanese prime minister.
I'm embarrassed.
It's like when Bush Sr. tried to be polite and follow customs and ended up throwing up on the Japanese prime minister.
I'm embarrassed.
octafish
+0 -0
* clicks post * Hey where did my witticism go? Oh well I'll try again.
I feel your pain.
* clicks post * Hey where did my witticism go? Oh well I'll try again.
I feel your pain.
hardelicious
+1 -0
"46. And hardelicious fell before the demons of Assetbar, and was like unto a fool. 47. And the people heaped lames upon hardelicious' head like ashes. 48. And Onstad came from on high and cast hardelicious into the Pit, where Hannah Barbera cartoons were played on an eternal loop, 49. and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth."
"46. And hardelicious fell before the demons of Assetbar, and was like unto a fool. 47. And the people heaped lames upon hardelicious' head like ashes. 48. And Onstad came from on high and cast hardelicious into the Pit, where Hannah Barbera cartoons were played on an eternal loop, 49. and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth."
lechatbotte
+0 -0
NO! Not Hannah Barbera! (Dread and trembling.)
NO! Not Hannah Barbera! (Dread and trembling.)
zaratustra
+0 -0
On average, a person has about 11 litres (2.4 imperial gallons) of interstitial fluid providing the cells of the body with nutrients and a means of waste removal.
So, yeah, he could be leaking there for a long time.
On average, a person has about 11 litres (2.4 imperial gallons) of interstitial fluid providing the cells of the body with nutrients and a means of waste removal.
So, yeah, he could be leaking there for a long time.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
The stench, oh the stench of it all!
The stench, oh the stench of it all!
bumpishound
+0 -1
Oh that stench!
Oh that stench!
hamscout
+4 -0
Merry Maids be damned--they will never get the reek of Ray's belly-bong water out of the carpet.
Merry Maids be damned--they will never get the reek of Ray's belly-bong water out of the carpet.
pogo
+0 -0
Belly-bong water!
Belly-bong water!
lucidz
+2 -0
Man but if this ain't a euphemism for every time I've ever met up with an ex....
You ain't seen each other for a spell, out of boredom decide to meet up, for a quick cocktail, natch...
For the briefest of moments, It even seems like that old flame might just still be there.. But at the end of the day, one of you ALWAYS ends up lying on the floor in a pool of navel blood.
Man but if this ain't a euphemism for every time I've ever met up with an ex....
You ain't seen each other for a spell, out of boredom decide to meet up, for a quick cocktail, natch...
For the briefest of moments, It even seems like that old flame might just still be there.. But at the end of the day, one of you ALWAYS ends up lying on the floor in a pool of navel blood.
possums
+1 -0
That is basically the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in this comic.
That is basically the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in this comic.
kamet
+0 -0
You haven't read enough, my friend.
You haven't read enough, my friend.
davey-boy
+1 -0
Worse than a guaranteed honky-tonk style blow job, worse than Beef's prostitute, worse than seeing a dude's stew. I think that covers it. We have a new champion.
Worse than a guaranteed honky-tonk style blow job, worse than Beef's prostitute, worse than seeing a dude's stew. I think that covers it. We have a new champion.
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
I read the middle row first, after only noticing that the characters were Ray and Tina. I was pretty fucking surprised about this strip's content until I read the first and third rows.
I read the middle row first, after only noticing that the characters were Ray and Tina. I was pretty fucking surprised about this strip's content until I read the first and third rows.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I was still surprised.
I was still surprised.
awko
+0 -0
I've got to try this whole "reading the comic out of order" thing sometime.
I've got to try this whole "reading the comic out of order" thing sometime.
stereo
+0 -0
The Canadian dialogue can be read in reverse panel order and still make sense. It's neat.
The Canadian dialogue can be read in reverse panel order and still make sense. It's neat.
stereo
+0 -0
Sorry guys, I'm really not sure what this means. I think I was just making stuff up.
Sorry guys, I'm really not sure what this means. I think I was just making stuff up.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
I think you meant this one .
I'M IN UR BRANE TASTIN UR SYNAPSIZ
I think you meant this one .
I'M IN UR BRANE TASTIN UR SYNAPSIZ
stereo
+0 -0
I guess I was, the search on the main page failed to find it even though I searched for both "Canada" and "Canadian". Apparently it's not transcribed. At least I'm not losing my mind.
I guess I was, the search on the main page failed to find it even though I searched for both "Canada" and "Canadian". Apparently it's not transcribed. At least I'm not losing my mind.
d3athcann0n
+0 -1
I used to worry about this exact thing happening.
Now I've come to terms with its inevitability.
I used to worry about this exact thing happening.
Now I've come to terms with its inevitability.
singtralala
+1 -0
hey man not cool i totally got that same avatar, only better trimmed and timed
hey man not cool i totally got that same avatar, only better trimmed and timed
d3athcann0n
+0 -0
Then its not the same...but i will change mine anyways
Then its not the same...but i will change mine anyways
halnewcome
+0 -0
I think this is going to put me off my feed for a few meals.
I think this is going to put me off my feed for a few meals.
lavienoir
+17 -0
Beef's rhyme is actually part of a twelve-song epic cycle by Richard Wagner's alcoholic dietician little brother. The rhyme for vodka goes:
The liquor distilled from the grain of wheat
Will leave your midriff slim and neat
But the spirit risen from potato starch
Will set your waistline on the march
Beef's rhyme is actually part of a twelve-song epic cycle by Richard Wagner's alcoholic dietician little brother. The rhyme for vodka goes:
The liquor distilled from the grain of wheat
Will leave your midriff slim and neat
But the spirit risen from potato starch
Will set your waistline on the march
hamscout
+11 -1
Imbibing many crispy Stellas
soon makes you a paunchy fella.
Gin is thin, but you know it isn't
rad to have alcoholism.
Imbibing many crispy Stellas
soon makes you a paunchy fella.
Gin is thin, but you know it isn't
rad to have alcoholism.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Well, this provides them at least with a pretty solid "What-Not-to-Do" for the inaugural men's grooming article.
Well, this provides them at least with a pretty solid "What-Not-to-Do" for the inaugural men's grooming article.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
The photos alone might sell more than actually useful directions would. (I'll bet she taking the snapshots RIGHT NOW!! That bitch.)
I just hope that isn't his mojo and gumption draining uselessly away...
The photos alone might sell more than actually useful directions would. (I'll bet she taking the snapshots RIGHT NOW!! That bitch.)
I just hope that isn't his mojo and gumption draining uselessly away...
chilibone
+8 -0
my grandma used to call my belly button my sugar bowl and pretend to eat sugar out of it and tickle me
my grandma did not molest me, despite how this may sound
my grandma used to call my belly button my sugar bowl and pretend to eat sugar out of it and tickle me
my grandma did not molest me, despite how this may sound
telescreen
+1 -0
My grandma called me Speedball. She never gave me speed.
My grandma called me Speedball. She never gave me speed.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Your avatar gives this story some disturbing imagery.
Your avatar gives this story some disturbing imagery.
pogo
+0 -0
Was there a little handle on your sugar bowl that she grabbed?
Was there a little handle on your sugar bowl that she grabbed?
deusoma
+0 -0
Soon to be featured on 2cats1navel.com!
Soon to be featured on 2cats1navel.com!
irondave
+0 -0
This series of events is exaggerated only slightly.
This series of events is exaggerated only slightly.
lightupafatty
+0 -0
whoa, i just noticed your avatar. pretty clever reference there, dude. and im pretty confused as to why you made it in the first place.
whoa, i just noticed your avatar. pretty clever reference there, dude. and im pretty confused as to why you made it in the first place.
irondave
+0 -0
I like quantititive graphics and long walks on the beach. Also, I see myself as maybe part of the intersection there.
I like quantititive graphics and long walks on the beach. Also, I see myself as maybe part of the intersection there.
zapatos
+0 -0
Because it is awesome.
Because it is awesome.
deadpool
+0 -0
This is very common in cats. They eventually discover that they had an umbilical cord and they start to mess around with their belly button. If their claw goes too deep they can rupture their stomach and cause the HCl to leak out.
Naw, I'm joking. Cats don't even have belly buttons.
This is very common in cats. They eventually discover that they had an umbilical cord and they start to mess around with their belly button. If their claw goes too deep they can rupture their stomach and cause the HCl to leak out.
Naw, I'm joking. Cats don't even have belly buttons.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
So, this is a dream?
So, this is a dream?
deadpool
+0 -0
Hmm, I doubt it. If the cats can walk and talk, then Onstad has the artistic license to give them umbilici.
Hmm, I doubt it. If the cats can walk and talk, then Onstad has the artistic license to give them umbilici.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yeah. I kinda guessed that. But I still find myself wondering how it is arranged so that cat's don't need umbilici. Maybe if I'd spent more time in the classroom or on the farm, I'd be much wiser on this question. As it is, I display my complete mediocrity.
Yeah. I kinda guessed that. But I still find myself wondering how it is arranged so that cat's don't need umbilici. Maybe if I'd spent more time in the classroom or on the farm, I'd be much wiser on this question. As it is, I display my complete mediocrity.
pogo
+0 -0
All mammals are placental and have navels.
All mammals are placental and have navels.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Does this include platypi and marsupials?
Does this include platypi and marsupials?
mrwombat
+0 -0
No, marsupials develop a yolk sac during early development, and montremes lay their eggs! Only placental mammals develop placenta and by extension, umbilici, making them less delicious.
No, marsupials develop a yolk sac during early development, and montremes lay their eggs! Only placental mammals develop placenta and by extension, umbilici, making them less delicious.
topsy
+0 -1
making which less delicious? the mammals or the placenta?
making which less delicious? the mammals or the placenta?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I will guarantee that the non-existent placenta of non-placental mammals is always less delicious.
I will guarantee that the non-existent placenta of non-placental mammals is always less delicious.
cdumas
+0 -0
Considering he's given the girls only two fat titties, navels seem a pretty minor deviance.
Considering he's given the girls only two fat titties, navels seem a pretty minor deviance.
meddle
+2 -0
Well, I know they're born with umbilical cords... But I'm not gonna lie, I totally flipped my cat over to check when I saw this strip. I couldn't find anything at first and then I decided I didn't want to find anything.
Well, I know they're born with umbilical cords... But I'm not gonna lie, I totally flipped my cat over to check when I saw this strip. I couldn't find anything at first and then I decided I didn't want to find anything.
deadpool
+0 -0
Cats normally give birth to several young at one time. You seen 6 cats dangling out of a mama cat from umbilical cords?
Cats normally give birth to several young at one time. You seen 6 cats dangling out of a mama cat from umbilical cords?
meddle
+0 -0
One of my cats' brothers was born with an umbilical cord wrapped around one of his legs, preventing development. I saw that. It was pretty gross.
One of my cats' brothers was born with an umbilical cord wrapped around one of his legs, preventing development. I saw that. It was pretty gross.
blueloggy
+0 -0
Doesn't the mama cat chew the cord off of the kitten as it comes out? Like, the cat licks away the sac and the cord at the same time? I mean, it is totally gross, but that's nature for you.
Also I bet if you had a hairless cat you could find a tiny belly button on his stomach.
Doesn't the mama cat chew the cord off of the kitten as it comes out? Like, the cat licks away the sac and the cord at the same time? I mean, it is totally gross, but that's nature for you.
Also I bet if you had a hairless cat you could find a tiny belly button on his stomach.
blueloggy
+4 -0
I haven't posted on here in so long that I forgot my avatar is of a tiny sleeping kitten. I should've posted it in her voice. Like "my mama used her mouth to chew my umbilical cord off after she pushed me out of her tummy!" or something. Gah.
I haven't posted on here in so long that I forgot my avatar is of a tiny sleeping kitten. I should've posted it in her voice. Like "my mama used her mouth to chew my umbilical cord off after she pushed me out of her tummy!" or something. Gah.
kickstart
+3 -0
my mother was a saint, you hear me? A saint!
my mother was a saint, you hear me? A saint!
octafish
+0 -0
My father stormed the beach at Normandy!
My father stormed the beach at Normandy!
tekende
+3 -0
MY FATHER ONCE KNEW A MAN!
MY FATHER ONCE KNEW A MAN!
stereo
+10 -0
My parents are DEAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
My parents are DEAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
daidai
+0 -0
Best reference yet today.
Best reference yet today.
octafish
+0 -0
Really works with the Bale avaricon.
Really works with the Bale avaricon.
falseprophet
+0 -1
BIBLICALLY
BIBLICALLY
falseprophet
+0 -1
WAIT A MINUTE
WAIT A MINUTE
falseprophet
+0 -2
falseprophet
+0 -2
.
.
falseprophet
+0 -2
..
..
falseprophet
+0 -2
...
...
falseprophet
+4 -0
lechatbotte
+2 -0
Dude, enough already.
Dude, enough already.
daidai
+0 -0
Audacious! Tenatious! Apollo, Doth thou burn the candle at both ends?
Audacious! Tenatious! Apollo, Doth thou burn the candle at both ends?
loneal
+1 -0
When my dog had puppies, they had tiny little belly buttons visible before they grew their fur. (Also, one of them was green for several weeks because the green sac that his mom chewed off of him was apparently quite potent.) Presumably cats have the same thing. I don't think they can magically transport nutrients into their young just because they give birth in litters. Human triplets all have umbilical cords simultaneously. Look around you: mammals.
When my dog had puppies, they had tiny little belly buttons visible before they grew their fur. (Also, one of them was green for several weeks because the green sac that his mom chewed off of him was apparently quite potent.) Presumably cats have the same thing. I don't think they can magically transport nutrients into their young just because they give birth in litters. Human triplets all have umbilical cords simultaneously. Look around you: mammals.
norrin
+0 -1
When we were little our cat had a litter, and my sister saw what she thought was something impaling one of the kittenns and pulled it out. It was what I beleive was the left over chewed off embilical chord.
The kitty died and we out it in an empty bag of Doritos and buried it.
On an unrelated note, my cousin once went around trying to bash little baby chicks and ducklings with a hammer when he was two.
When we were little our cat had a litter, and my sister saw what she thought was something impaling one of the kittenns and pulled it out. It was what I beleive was the left over chewed off embilical chord.
The kitty died and we out it in an empty bag of Doritos and buried it.
On an unrelated note, my cousin once went around trying to bash little baby chicks and ducklings with a hammer when he was two.
lechatbotte
+3 -0
Dude, why you even gotta say a thing?
Dude, why you even gotta say a thing?
octafish
+2 -0
Not Radd Norrin, not Radd at all.
Not Radd Norrin, not Radd at all.
seanbad
+1 -0
loneal
+0 -0
My brother and cousin smashed one of our hamsters with a hockey stick when they were two! Maybe cute-animal-smashing is a main thing of two-year-olds! I don't even know how the thing survived. We had to feed it with an eyedropper for weeks because all its teeth were broken.
(See also: The time my sister stepped on the goldfish which had jumped out of its bowl. It floated upside down for a bit, then it turned right side up and promptly lived for two more years.)
My brother and cousin smashed one of our hamsters with a hockey stick when they were two! Maybe cute-animal-smashing is a main thing of two-year-olds! I don't even know how the thing survived. We had to feed it with an eyedropper for weeks because all its teeth were broken.
(See also: The time my sister stepped on the goldfish which had jumped out of its bowl. It floated upside down for a bit, then it turned right side up and promptly lived for two more years.)
daidai
+0 -0
Is your mom's name Beatrix Kiddo?
Is your mom's name Beatrix Kiddo?
loneal
+0 -0
I have not seen those movies and do not understand this reference. =/
I have not seen those movies and do not understand this reference. =/
davey-boy
+0 -2
Lucky.
Lucky.
gormster
+0 -0
V-lame. Those movies were awesome.
V-lame. Those movies were awesome.
zapatos
+1 -0
What flavor? I would hate to be buried in a bag of Cool Ranch.
What flavor? I would hate to be buried in a bag of Cool Ranch.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
If you find it, please DO NOT PROBE!
If you find it, please DO NOT PROBE!
jaydub
+0 -0
Its there. Its a flat, oval shaped thing - not like a human navel. Don't know why.
Its there. Its a flat, oval shaped thing - not like a human navel. Don't know why.
agentj
+1 -0
Tina is not a good life(style brand) partner. Her trifling type would ignore your DNR, then leave your vegetative ass by a roadside or suchlike.
Tina is not a good life(style brand) partner. Her trifling type would ignore your DNR, then leave your vegetative ass by a roadside or suchlike.
jaydub
+0 -0
Never dug that deep - but belly fuzz does trap some fun lint in mine.
Never dug that deep - but belly fuzz does trap some fun lint in mine.
bumpishound
+0 -0
Ray is like knuckles deep in that dang old bellybutton.
Ray is like knuckles deep in that dang old bellybutton.
stereo
+0 -0
I can go at least 1 knuckle deep in mine, but this strip has made me afraid of probing deeper. There's still some give, but I'm about as afraid of making that phone call as Tina is.
I can go at least 1 knuckle deep in mine, but this strip has made me afraid of probing deeper. There's still some give, but I'm about as afraid of making that phone call as Tina is.
morypcaina
+2 -0
elbow deep within the borderline
it may hurt a little but A BLA BLA BLOO BLA BLOO BLOOOOOOO!
elbow deep within the borderline
it may hurt a little but A BLA BLA BLOO BLA BLOO BLOOOOOOO!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have been over-friendly but not even Assetbar can stop me and my V-CHUB POWERS!
I have been over-friendly but not even Assetbar can stop me and my V-CHUB POWERS!
jorsh
+0 -0
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
endoftheworld
+0 -0
Strip was pretty gross. Then I read the ALT text, and that took things to a new and uncomfortable level.
Strip was pretty gross. Then I read the ALT text, and that took things to a new and uncomfortable level.
octafish
+0 -0
Dr Andretti is going to have a field day with this. I fear this spells the end of the heirloom chicken farm.
Dr Andretti is going to have a field day with this. I fear this spells the end of the heirloom chicken farm.
quaga
+0 -0
Maybe that's all the diabetes leaking out. Perhaps this is what it means to almost have diabetes.
Maybe that's all the diabetes leaking out. Perhaps this is what it means to almost have diabetes.
waddlerz
+0 -0
Ray is pregnant! It's the amneotic fluid that is seeping from his womb/wound!
Ray is pregnant! It's the amneotic fluid that is seeping from his womb/wound!
echidnaboy
+1 -0
OH GOD MAN THIS IS SO WAAAACKYYYYY
OH GOD MAN THIS IS SO WAAAACKYYYYY
gormster
+0 -0
Ray is pregnant with Philippe's 5th birthday present.
Ray is pregnant with Philippe's 5th birthday present.
octafish
+1 -0
Ray did not need to be yelled at, he instinctively knew that gushing clear liquid from your navel is wrong.
Ray did not need to be yelled at, he instinctively knew that gushing clear liquid from your navel is wrong.
biznart
+0 -0
I'm so glad it was Beef that walked in and not Philippe. You're just not ready for these kinds of things at the age of five.
Shit, I don't think I'm ready for it at the age of 29.
I'm so glad it was Beef that walked in and not Philippe. You're just not ready for these kinds of things at the age of five.
Shit, I don't think I'm ready for it at the age of 29.
jhaela
+0 -0
I don't think Philippe has been ready for half the things he's seen.
I don't think Philippe has been ready for half the things he's seen.
quaga
+0 -0
I don't think I ever want to be ready to see that
I don't think I ever want to be ready to see that
chloraloner
+0 -0
This...just...ruuuuude.
This...just...ruuuuude.
snickers
+1 -0
Oh man you need to do a parody of that Scott McCloud Google Chrome comic. Ray and Beef heads floating around the page, going all meta on Eggs and Milk Minder features. Beef all like paragraphs of lowercase stream of consciousness and Ray like "It's muliti-process, biotch!"
Oh man you need to do a parody of that Scott McCloud Google Chrome comic. Ray and Beef heads floating around the page, going all meta on Eggs and Milk Minder features. Beef all like paragraphs of lowercase stream of consciousness and Ray like "It's muliti-process, biotch!"
mystkmanat
+0 -0
What is Tina wearing???
What is Tina wearing???
irondave
+0 -0
I say it's vest over a blouse with some kind of detailing on the front. Pleats, or possibly ruffles of some sort. Disclaimer: I am not an expert on Fashion.
I say it's vest over a blouse with some kind of detailing on the front. Pleats, or possibly ruffles of some sort. Disclaimer: I am not an expert on Fashion.
kamet
+0 -0
I believe it is Onstad's attempt to create a cowl-necked blouse of sorts, underneath Tina's suit vest.
I believe it is Onstad's attempt to create a cowl-necked blouse of sorts, underneath Tina's suit vest.
skoora
+0 -0
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
Those are the sounds of my nightmares.
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
SCRUT
Those are the sounds of my nightmares.
daidai
+0 -0
Before this comic, this onomatopoeia created images in my head of fat people in wool sweaters trying to squeeze through an unusually small sandpaper-coated hallway.
I never thought I would miss that.
Before this comic, this onomatopoeia created images in my head of fat people in wool sweaters trying to squeeze through an unusually small sandpaper-coated hallway.
I never thought I would miss that.
massialot
+0 -0
Well that harmonious coupling sure didn't last long.
Well that harmonious coupling sure didn't last long.
zapatos
+0 -0
Who says its over?
Who says its over?
butta
+0 -0
Eww eww eww eww eww
Eww eww eww eww eww
bumpishound
+0 -0
Ray's GOF cred takes a major hit here.
Ray's GOF cred takes a major hit here.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yeah. Good thing none of 'em boys itched his belly button. He'd been done before the start!
Yeah. Good thing none of 'em boys itched his belly button. He'd been done before the start!
desert_donkey
+0 -1
damn is nasty. and tina is stupid nasty bitch. she reminds me of those freaky women in "Blue Velvet". the ones that were over at the dude's house who sang that clown song.
as for spontaneous fluids. i just had some surgery on my face. on my nose too. and sometimes fluid (prolly plasma) just starts streaming out of it. it's freaky. justs kinda burst down the face. blood in it too. it's fucking gross.
damn is nasty. and tina is stupid nasty bitch. she reminds me of those freaky women in "Blue Velvet". the ones that were over at the dude's house who sang that clown song.
as for spontaneous fluids. i just had some surgery on my face. on my nose too. and sometimes fluid (prolly plasma) just starts streaming out of it. it's freaky. justs kinda burst down the face. blood in it too. it's fucking gross.
bumpishound
+4 -0
Pix pls.
Pix pls.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
NO! Don't do it!
NO! Don't do it!
octafish
+0 -0
Ben sang a Roy Orbison song.
...do I amuse you? Am I a clown? Is my existence solely for your pleasure?
Ben sang a Roy Orbison song.
...do I amuse you? Am I a clown? Is my existence solely for your pleasure?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Wow. They took out the lenses for this shot of Roy. I cannot see any reflection whatsoever.
Wow. They took out the lenses for this shot of Roy. I cannot see any reflection whatsoever.
farqussus
+0 -0
Even at the age of twenty, Roy appeared to be sixty-five years old. Could be a young Karl Malden.
Even at the age of twenty, Roy appeared to be sixty-five years old. Could be a young Karl Malden.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh Jesus, the call-back to the "HE GETS THINGS DONE" strip is just ACE.
Oh Jesus, the call-back to the "HE GETS THINGS DONE" strip is just ACE.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Fuck. It's my first day of high school ever tomorrow.
If I don't come back, tell hedonismbot he can have my hair.
Fuck. It's my first day of high school ever tomorrow.
If I don't come back, tell hedonismbot he can have my hair.
loneal
+0 -0
Fuck. It's my first day of feeling old ever today. I haven't even turned 21 yet, catgrl, don't do this to me, not now, not like this.
Fuck. It's my first day of feeling old ever today. I haven't even turned 21 yet, catgrl, don't do this to me, not now, not like this.
octafish
+0 -0
Loneal you make me feel old today. I haven't even turned 34 yet. Jeesus.
[i]Your turn Pogo{/i]
Loneal you make me feel old today. I haven't even turned 34 yet. Jeesus.
[i]Your turn Pogo{/i]
pogo
+0 -0
Old? You don't know the meaning of old!
Old? You don't know the meaning of old!
awko
+3 -0
I had my first "old" moment the other day when a lady in the supermarket told her child to stop throwing a tantrum or "that man over there will get mad".
I had my first "old" moment the other day when a lady in the supermarket told her child to stop throwing a tantrum or "that man over there will get mad".
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Oh maaan chubby for bringing up that memory. It's a special day. Wait til you start counting up all the ubiquitous technological advances that have come up since you were a teenager. I call mobile phones, PCs, Internet and touch dial phones.
My jokes about hard nipples dialing a phone are redundant .
Oh maaan chubby for bringing up that memory. It's a special day. Wait til you start counting up all the ubiquitous technological advances that have come up since you were a teenager. I call mobile phones, PCs, Internet and touch dial phones.
My jokes about hard nipples dialing a phone are redundant .
zapatos
+0 -0
Those children never make me mad, the mothers do. Because they never call me back.
Those children never make me mad, the mothers do. Because they never call me back.
stereo
+0 -0
I have yet to be called "Mister" but I anticipate that day.
I have yet to be called "Mister" but I anticipate that day.
talix18
+0 -0
The first "Ma'am" is the worst.
The first "Ma'am" is the worst.
stereo
+0 -0
In her defense she was jogging and probably couldn't see very well anyway (yes, I got my first ma'am at age 18)
In her defense she was jogging and probably couldn't see very well anyway (yes, I got my first ma'am at age 18)
lechatbotte
+1 -0
I first got "ma'am"-ed when I was 27. I'm a dude with a beard, so it was kinda esoteric.
I first got "ma'am"-ed when I was 27. I'm a dude with a beard, so it was kinda esoteric.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Once, when I was 20 or so, a little boy asked his father if I was "a man or a lady" (I think he was confused by the long hair combined with the beard*). I was actually quite pleased he thought I was an adult.
*Or maybe it was the dress HAR HAR
Once, when I was 20 or so, a little boy asked his father if I was "a man or a lady" (I think he was confused by the long hair combined with the beard*). I was actually quite pleased he thought I was an adult.
*Or maybe it was the dress HAR HAR
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My wife and I ran into one of my coworkers at a grocery store. He was with his 14 year old daughter. We waved, said hello, moved on. I found out that a few seconds later she asked who I was. He told her I was a coworker. She asked him why I was taking my daughter to the store, wasn't she too old for that?
My wife was 24, I was 25. My wife was insulted that someone thought she was 18 or 19. The girl thought I was 45.
My wife and I ran into one of my coworkers at a grocery store. He was with his 14 year old daughter. We waved, said hello, moved on. I found out that a few seconds later she asked who I was. He told her I was a coworker. She asked him why I was taking my daughter to the store, wasn't she too old for that?
My wife was 24, I was 25. My wife was insulted that someone thought she was 18 or 19. The girl thought I was 45.
aperson
+0 -0
It's because of that colostomy bag bulge.
Wait a minute...
It's because of that colostomy bag bulge.
Wait a minute...
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Hi, Dick About Terms here...
Is esoteric the right word here? Just wondering if I'm missing something.
Hi, Dick About Terms here...
Is esoteric the right word here? Just wondering if I'm missing something.
thorfinn
+0 -0
He might want to keep it a secret, you never know.
He might want to keep it a secret, you never know.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Yeah, I thought maybe the person who called him ma'am was a friend and it was an inside joke...?
It all reminds me of Bob Odenkirk's guest spot on NewsRadio, when he keeps using the word "sagacious" incorrectly (in several ways).
Yeah, I thought maybe the person who called him ma'am was a friend and it was an inside joke...?
It all reminds me of Bob Odenkirk's guest spot on NewsRadio, when he keeps using the word "sagacious" incorrectly (in several ways).
lechatbotte
+0 -0
In that I was not among those choosen to understand it, it struck me that way. What did you think I was trying to say?
In that I was not among those choosen to understand it, it struck me that way. What did you think I was trying to say?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I was expecting a word more like "confusing" or "befuddling" to end that sentence. Your anecdote was very short, and without any kind of background it's hard for me to understand why the person calling you "ma'am" would've done so and meant for you not to understand.
I thought you saying "I got called ma'am by someone by mistake which is weird b/c I'm a dude with a beard."
I present a re-wording:
I first got "ma'am"-ed when I was 27. I'm a dude with a beard, so I can only guess that the reasons of the person calling me that were kinda esoteric.
No, even that doesn't sound right. Damn, now got me being the John Holmes of Term-dickage. This is all totally sagacious.
I was expecting a word more like "confusing" or "befuddling" to end that sentence. Your anecdote was very short, and without any kind of background it's hard for me to understand why the person calling you "ma'am" would've done so and meant for you not to understand.
I thought you saying "I got called ma'am by someone by mistake which is weird b/c I'm a dude with a beard."
I present a re-wording:
I first got "ma'am"-ed when I was 27. I'm a dude with a beard, so I can only guess that the reasons of the person calling me that were kinda esoteric.
No, even that doesn't sound right. Damn, now got me being the John Holmes of Term-dickage. This is all totally sagacious.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yes. Most sagacious.
Seriously, not intending to write a novel, I thought the most efficient way to express the way it left me feeling was "kinda esoteric". Not really authentically esoteric, as in "there is a secret society possessing knowledge I lack and which explains my sense of being out of the equation here." Just "kinda" esoteric, like in "I'm the only one not choosen to understand what is going on here."
So, I'm pretty much an efficiency failure, as I complete the sixth more-or-less lengthy comment on this unexpected use of a single word.
(Ever read "The Rule of Four"? I've never read a book so full of unexpected terminations to sentances. It was sometimes quite annoying. Since it's about a code hidden in the odd usage of words in an ancient esoteric work, I've often wondered if these unexpected turns of phrase were intended to conceal a secret messege of some sort, but have no time to seek the solution. Besides, since reading "Foulcault's Pendulum", I'm not much for secrets.)
Yes. Most sagacious.
Seriously, not intending to write a novel, I thought the most efficient way to express the way it left me feeling was "kinda esoteric". Not really authentically esoteric, as in "there is a secret society possessing knowledge I lack and which explains my sense of being out of the equation here." Just "kinda" esoteric, like in "I'm the only one not choosen to understand what is going on here."
So, I'm pretty much an efficiency failure, as I complete the sixth more-or-less lengthy comment on this unexpected use of a single word.
(Ever read "The Rule of Four"? I've never read a book so full of unexpected terminations to sentances. It was sometimes quite annoying. Since it's about a code hidden in the odd usage of words in an ancient esoteric work, I've often wondered if these unexpected turns of phrase were intended to conceal a secret messege of some sort, but have no time to seek the solution. Besides, since reading "Foulcault's Pendulum", I'm not much for secrets.)
zapatos
+0 -0
These things happen. Frequently it seems... I may just be a pretty lady.
These things happen. Frequently it seems... I may just be a pretty lady.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Is it really that bad?
I used to work in retail, and I'd occasionally call girls in their early 20's "ma'am" if I thought it suited the situation; the situation being one where I'm supposed to politely address an adult woman (be they 20 or 60 years old) who's name I don't know.
What should I call them?
Miss? Sorry, miss seems like it's more for 16 or under, I suppose.
Madamoiselle? Only if I'm kissing your hand and bowing at the same time.
M'lady? I'm sorry, I don't swordfight on weekends or eat turkey off the bone.
Really, though, is there a better option I'm just forgetting? It was fun to call the hot, sorority-looking girls "ma'am," though, and see them get a little ticked off. I wonder how many Ma'am Cherries I popped? I address the ladies and from the beginning they do not like me.
Is it really that bad?
I used to work in retail, and I'd occasionally call girls in their early 20's "ma'am" if I thought it suited the situation; the situation being one where I'm supposed to politely address an adult woman (be they 20 or 60 years old) who's name I don't know.
What should I call them?
Miss? Sorry, miss seems like it's more for 16 or under, I suppose.
Madamoiselle? Only if I'm kissing your hand and bowing at the same time.
M'lady? I'm sorry, I don't swordfight on weekends or eat turkey off the bone.
Really, though, is there a better option I'm just forgetting? It was fun to call the hot, sorority-looking girls "ma'am," though, and see them get a little ticked off. I wonder how many Ma'am Cherries I popped? I address the ladies and from the beginning they do not like me.
talix18
+0 -0
For me, clearly it was that bad. But I'm losing my shit over turning 40 this year; perhaps I'm not the best judge.
I guess I just prefer "Miss".
For me, clearly it was that bad. But I'm losing my shit over turning 40 this year; perhaps I'm not the best judge.
I guess I just prefer "Miss".
loneal
+0 -0
I prefer "ma'am" to "miss," which strikes me as a bit condescending. But I am still at the age where I want to look older than I am. My views might change in a few years.
I prefer "ma'am" to "miss," which strikes me as a bit condescending. But I am still at the age where I want to look older than I am. My views might change in a few years.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My rule is that if you look too young to be my mother, you are a Miss. Otherwise it's a Ma'am. Talix would clearly be a Miss. Loneal would just be referred to using a crude wolf-whistle.
My rule is that if you look too young to be my mother, you are a Miss. Otherwise it's a Ma'am. Talix would clearly be a Miss. Loneal would just be referred to using a crude wolf-whistle.
topsy
+0 -0
wikipedia has this to say about that.
also, what's a wolf-whistle sound like?
wikipedia has this to say about that.
also, what's a wolf-whistle sound like?
loneal
+0 -0
Oh you know um it kinda sounds like fweee- fwee yooo or something along those lines.
Oh you know um it kinda sounds like fweee- fwee yooo or something along those lines.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Nice onomatopoeia!
Nice onomatopoeia!
zapatos
+0 -0
Droopy Dog's 'arch nemesis'. Loneal does a good job showing us how it's done, she must have experience.
Droopy Dog's 'arch nemesis'. Loneal does a good job showing us how it's done, she must have experience.
talix18
+0 -0
I was also thinking that it might have something to do with the age of the person addressing me. Someone younger than me can call me "ma'am"; someone older than me can call me "miss". Wolf-whistle reception depends on my mood and there's no predictin' that mess.
I was also thinking that it might have something to do with the age of the person addressing me. Someone younger than me can call me "ma'am"; someone older than me can call me "miss". Wolf-whistle reception depends on my mood and there's no predictin' that mess.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh you'd accept my wolf-whistlin. I'm a master. I make a woman feel like the center of the universe with my whistlin. I can even do it without using my lips.
Oh you'd accept my wolf-whistlin. I'm a master. I make a woman feel like the center of the universe with my whistlin. I can even do it without using my lips.
octafish
+0 -0
Ms, down here we pronounce this Mizzz as opposed to Miss.
I also like to use the word lady if the person is giving me the irrits. Listen lady, if you don't stop waving that catalogue in my face I'm calling security.
Ms, down here we pronounce this Mizzz as opposed to Miss.
I also like to use the word lady if the person is giving me the irrits. Listen lady, if you don't stop waving that catalogue in my face I'm calling security.
deusoma
+0 -0
I don't think it was my first "old" moment, but the other day I saw some elementary school boys with stupidly long hair and I thought the words "(imaginary sigh), Kids today." to myself. Then I was hit by the realization so hard I stopped in my tracks and laughed out loud. I'm pretty sure people on my street now think I'm crazy.
I don't think it was my first "old" moment, but the other day I saw some elementary school boys with stupidly long hair and I thought the words "(imaginary sigh), Kids today." to myself. Then I was hit by the realization so hard I stopped in my tracks and laughed out loud. I'm pretty sure people on my street now think I'm crazy.
bumpishound
+0 -0
It is the toughest day when you realize you are the [i]crazy old guy on the street[i/].
It is the toughest day when you realize you are the [i]crazy old guy on the street[i/].
bumpishound
+0 -0
aw man
aw man
talix18
+0 -0
Or just a couple of cats short of "the crazy cat lady"
Or just a couple of cats short of "the crazy cat lady"
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Isn't that cute? I'm old enough to have a son whose first day of high school was today - and he ain't even my oldest!
Still love the avatar!
Isn't that cute? I'm old enough to have a son whose first day of high school was today - and he ain't even my oldest!
Still love the avatar!
omni
+0 -0
Comment left by omni ignored.
Comment left by omni ignored.
catgrl131
+0 -0
...A lot like any other world, but with more atmosphere?
...A lot like any other world, but with more atmosphere?
topsy
+2 -0
zapatos
+0 -0
I was forteen once, it was alright.
I was forteen once, it was alright.
rowboat
+0 -1
You have used up your lame allotment. Do something nice for a change.
I have seen this message no fewer than twenty times in the last five minutes.
I feel handcuffed.
You have used up your lame allotment. Do something nice for a change.
I have seen this message no fewer than twenty times in the last five minutes.
I feel handcuffed.
zapatos
+1 -0
Maybe you are handcuffed, you should double check. Just in case.
Maybe you are handcuffed, you should double check. Just in case.
pogo
+0 -0
I tried to lame you, just for the heck of it, and got the same message.
I tried to lame you, just for the heck of it, and got the same message.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
My lames work. (And you got lamed only in the service of science. I actually appreciate you bringing to my attention the possibility of being too lame to lame.)
My lames work. (And you got lamed only in the service of science. I actually appreciate you bringing to my attention the possibility of being too lame to lame.)
mystkmanat
+5 -0
I'm a junior in high school, so I can tell a quick anecdote of my first day with the empathy of someone whose pain is still fresh.
The first period of the day was this advanced math class I had tested into. I'm this tiny, nerdy, little 14 year old freshman standing at the back of the room, and when we get our seat assignments, I see I'm next to a huge football-playing junior who's taking the class for the second time. We sit down, and I take out a piece of paper and a pencil and wait patiently for the teacher to start the pop quiz, which I had scared myself into believing we would have. My pencil rolls off my desk, and I lean to pick it back up. But here's the problem: I have short, t-rex style arms and couldn't reach it. I was leaning so far, however, that I did succeed in tipping the desk over and falling onto the giant football player. AND, because I was sitting in the front row, everyone saw me do it.
Best. Day. Ever.
I'm a junior in high school, so I can tell a quick anecdote of my first day with the empathy of someone whose pain is still fresh.
The first period of the day was this advanced math class I had tested into. I'm this tiny, nerdy, little 14 year old freshman standing at the back of the room, and when we get our seat assignments, I see I'm next to a huge football-playing junior who's taking the class for the second time. We sit down, and I take out a piece of paper and a pencil and wait patiently for the teacher to start the pop quiz, which I had scared myself into believing we would have. My pencil rolls off my desk, and I lean to pick it back up. But here's the problem: I have short, t-rex style arms and couldn't reach it. I was leaning so far, however, that I did succeed in tipping the desk over and falling onto the giant football player. AND, because I was sitting in the front row, everyone saw me do it.
Best. Day. Ever.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
A chubby in sympathy.
A chubby in sympathy.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Which I guess is also something you don't want on your first day at juniour high.
That's right bitches, juniour has a "u" round these parts.
Which I guess is also something you don't want on your first day at juniour high.
That's right bitches, juniour has a "u" round these parts.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
wait a minute... no it doesn't.
wait a minute... no it doesn't.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
you're an idiot 'teeth
you're an idiot 'teeth
lechatbotte
+0 -0
If I remember Junior High correctly, it is pretty much the black hole of human experience. High School was sooo much better. Never worry, catgrrl - once you hit your stride, it is a happier place than where you've been.
If I remember Junior High correctly, it is pretty much the black hole of human experience. High School was sooo much better. Never worry, catgrrl - once you hit your stride, it is a happier place than where you've been.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I think you've replied to the wrong person. Although... a few dollars waved my way.
What? What!?
I think you've replied to the wrong person. Although... a few dollars waved my way.
What? What!?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yeah, that happens. Who's your daddy?
Yeah, that happens. Who's your daddy?
fuyukodachi
+0 -0
When I was a freshman, I fell out of my desk while trying to convince my geography teacher that penguins do, in fact, inhabit the Galapagos Islands, among other places. He was insisting that penguins do not live anywhere but Antarctica.
When I was a freshman, I fell out of my desk while trying to convince my geography teacher that penguins do, in fact, inhabit the Galapagos Islands, among other places. He was insisting that penguins do not live anywhere but Antarctica.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
More than likely, that teacher was convinced he was a penguin and you were all living in Antartica. He takes his hallucinations very seriously. I'm suprised at the number of teachers with crippling psychological problems.
That, or he was misinformed.
More than likely, that teacher was convinced he was a penguin and you were all living in Antartica. He takes his hallucinations very seriously. I'm suprised at the number of teachers with crippling psychological problems.
That, or he was misinformed.
bixschmix
+0 -0
When I was a freshman, I once fell up the bus steps. I landed with my head in the aisle, every eye in the bus turned my way.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is I promise things get better!
When I was a freshman, I once fell up the bus steps. I landed with my head in the aisle, every eye in the bus turned my way.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is I promise things get better!
finish_him
+0 -0
Does this have something to do with why your avatar has recently changed from a small child to an evil woman with eyes of murder? Those eyes are appropriate for public high school.
Does this have something to do with why your avatar has recently changed from a small child to an evil woman with eyes of murder? Those eyes are appropriate for public high school.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Errr, well, my old avicon was me, but then I decided that I wanted to replace my handfacepic, and someone suggested this one, and the rest is history.
Errr, well, my old avicon was me, but then I decided that I wanted to replace my handfacepic, and someone suggested this one, and the rest is history.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
That was you? You're absolutely gorgeous!
That was you? You're absolutely gorgeous!
catgrl131
+0 -0
Aw shucks, mister. *blush, grin, downward glance and leg twist*
Aw shucks, mister. *blush, grin, downward glance and leg twist*
pogo
+0 -0
Keep your legs well twisted, young lady.
Keep your legs well twisted, young lady.
pogo
+0 -0
No hitting on schoolgirls! That's my job.
No hitting on schoolgirls! That's my job.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Just callin' it like I see it!
(BTW, how much does that job pay?)
Just callin' it like I see it!
(BTW, how much does that job pay?)
zapatos
+1 -0
10-20.
10-20.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Thought so.
Thought so.
finish_him
+0 -0
I thought that was tekende's job. It occurred to me I may have just caused some tekende-class unintentional creepiness. I think I'm just gonna go back to being a lurker.
I thought that was tekende's job. It occurred to me I may have just caused some tekende-class unintentional creepiness. I think I'm just gonna go back to being a lurker.
tekende
+0 -0
No, my job description is limited to hitting on girls who are, you know, of a legal age.
No, my job description is limited to hitting on girls who are, you know, of a legal age.
finish_him
+0 -0
You've altered the eyes. That, or it's the new video card I installed today. Either way, less murder - but still pretty evil.
You've altered the eyes. That, or it's the new video card I installed today. Either way, less murder - but still pretty evil.
doc_rostov
+1 -0
You'll be fine. On my first day of high school, I managed to trip face-first into a trash can. The best part was that nobody noticed, because everyone was looking at the cheerleaders walking in for lunch. The second best part was that the bag had just been changed, so it was empty. Granted, I managed to accidentally do it again before the year was out, and they noticed that time, but my reputation still had at least a few days of blissful neutrality.
It's silly to say "don't worry", so only worry as much as you have to.
You'll be fine. On my first day of high school, I managed to trip face-first into a trash can. The best part was that nobody noticed, because everyone was looking at the cheerleaders walking in for lunch. The second best part was that the bag had just been changed, so it was empty. Granted, I managed to accidentally do it again before the year was out, and they noticed that time, but my reputation still had at least a few days of blissful neutrality.
It's silly to say "don't worry", so only worry as much as you have to.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Imagine the whole strip with no dialogue.
Imagine the whole strip with no dialogue.
aplomb
+1 -0
we be scruttin
we be scruttin
octafish
+1 -0
mad scrutty
mad scrutty
bpmead
+1 -0
Anyone else imagine Tina with a Rosie Perez-style Puerto Rican accent?
Anyone else imagine Tina with a Rosie Perez-style Puerto Rican accent?
deusoma
+0 -0
I never really thought about it before, but yeah, that sort of automatically happens whenever she opens her mouth.
I never really thought about it before, but yeah, that sort of automatically happens whenever she opens her mouth.
historyandmetal
+2 -0
the previous strip left me feeling strange -- like i had walked into a rehearsal for an achewood bit that was eventually going to get cut. but this strip has paid it off w/ Tina's digs of "fat boy" and "stupid nerd." Ray's punctured b-button has punctured the weird tension of his relationship w/ Tina, letting all the held back hostility hiss out into the room.
the previous strip left me feeling strange -- like i had walked into a rehearsal for an achewood bit that was eventually going to get cut. but this strip has paid it off w/ Tina's digs of "fat boy" and "stupid nerd." Ray's punctured b-button has punctured the weird tension of his relationship w/ Tina, letting all the held back hostility hiss out into the room.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Nice. You see, normally it would take half-an-assetbar to relate those sentiments. Chub for you.
Nice. You see, normally it would take half-an-assetbar to relate those sentiments. Chub for you.
rumblefish
+0 -0
Wait...'SOON.'..?
How long has Tina been watching Ray slowly crumble to the floor leaking (possibly) vital fluid??
Wait...'SOON.'..?
How long has Tina been watching Ray slowly crumble to the floor leaking (possibly) vital fluid??
trealnaaqed
+0 -0
i squirm in my seat when reading this comic. i'm not touching my belly button ever again.
aw man dogg, that is not something i want to see, that is not something i want to see at all.
i squirm in my seat when reading this comic. i'm not touching my belly button ever again.
aw man dogg, that is not something i want to see, that is not something i want to see at all.
unclesma
+0 -0
Man, Ray, you cannot die, dog.
We have seen enough of Hell.
Man, Ray, you cannot die, dog.
We have seen enough of Hell.
ashoykh
+0 -0
[in the end?] we find out that ray is not actually fat. In preparation for hibernation, he stores Mezcal in his subcutaneous fat layers.
[in the end?] we find out that ray is not actually fat. In preparation for hibernation, he stores Mezcal in his subcutaneous fat layers.
ashoykh
+2 -0
the other possibility is that ray has DSB. (Dangerous Semen Backup)
the other possibility is that ray has DSB. (Dangerous Semen Backup)
peterjoel
+0 -0
Ray has this.
Ray has this.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I don't think he has gotten any since his run-in with that chicken hooker and it's mixed-race bastard child.
I don't think he has gotten any since his run-in with that chicken hooker and it's mixed-race bastard child.
tekende
+6 -0
My grandfather used to tell my mother's cousin that if she played with her belly button, her bottom would fall off. My mother's cousin, being a young girl at the time, believed him, and from then on would not let her mother clean her belly button in the bathtub. Eventually her mother decided it was time for this to stop and told my grandfather to tell the girl that playing with her belly button would not, in fact, cause her bottom to fall off.
So he said to the girl, "Come here, I have to tell you something," and then paused. "Remember, if you play with your belly button, your bottom will fall off."
My grandfather used to tell my mother's cousin that if she played with her belly button, her bottom would fall off. My mother's cousin, being a young girl at the time, believed him, and from then on would not let her mother clean her belly button in the bathtub. Eventually her mother decided it was time for this to stop and told my grandfather to tell the girl that playing with her belly button would not, in fact, cause her bottom to fall off.
So he said to the girl, "Come here, I have to tell you something," and then paused. "Remember, if you play with your belly button, your bottom will fall off."
awko
+1 -0
My aunt used to warn us that if we picked our noses, we'd catch our fingernail on a hook and our eyes would fall out. After deliberating this for some time, we elected one cousin to take one for the team and go for the hook.
His eyes didn't pop out.
He was relieved, we were disappointed.
My aunt used to warn us that if we picked our noses, we'd catch our fingernail on a hook and our eyes would fall out. After deliberating this for some time, we elected one cousin to take one for the team and go for the hook.
His eyes didn't pop out.
He was relieved, we were disappointed.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I remember being told that earwigs like to crawl into your ears and make you deaf. It was many years before I overcame a debilitating, unreasonable fear of the little suckers!
Ah, the lies we tell in jest, might prove far worst then the rest!
I remember being told that earwigs like to crawl into your ears and make you deaf. It was many years before I overcame a debilitating, unreasonable fear of the little suckers!
Ah, the lies we tell in jest, might prove far worst then the rest!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i can identify with this comic pretty well. i have bled out of my belly button from too much spelunking.
it's amazing to me that the fluid is coming out at such high pressure.
i can identify with this comic pretty well. i have bled out of my belly button from too much spelunking.
it's amazing to me that the fluid is coming out at such high pressure.
tekende
+0 -0
This is somewhere on the list of things I didn't want to know about anyone, ever.
This is somewhere on the list of things I didn't want to know about anyone, ever.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
Having met the perfect date, and enjoying the time of his life with her, when tekende learned of the day she oozed clear fluid from her perfect mid-rift, he laughed politely, even while knowing in the depths of his heart that no matter how mad-rutty this evening ended, it was so over for him. There was no solace, and he died a little inside that day.
Having met the perfect date, and enjoying the time of his life with her, when tekende learned of the day she oozed clear fluid from her perfect mid-rift, he laughed politely, even while knowing in the depths of his heart that no matter how mad-rutty this evening ended, it was so over for him. There was no solace, and he died a little inside that day.
topsy
+0 -0
there should really be a wikipedia article on this. Wikipedia has so come a long ways, but still has so far to go.
there should really be a wikipedia article on this. Wikipedia has so come a long ways, but still has so far to go.
bixschmix
+0 -0
There is a lot of good information there but man those editors can be assholes.
There is a lot of good information there but man those editors can be assholes.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
Citation needed.
Citation needed.
bixschmix
+0 -0
TOPIC DOES NOT MEET NOTABILITY REQUIREMENTS; RECOMMEND FOR SPEEDY DELETION
TOPIC DOES NOT MEET NOTABILITY REQUIREMENTS; RECOMMEND FOR SPEEDY DELETION
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Where did the blood come from though
Do you have really sharp fingernails? Were you using a knife? Or perhaps a seafood fork?
Where did the blood come from though
Do you have really sharp fingernails? Were you using a knife? Or perhaps a seafood fork?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
This is entirely unrelated to the strip and will probably be overlooked what with it's appearance so far down on the page BUUUUUUT...isn't Roast Beef essentially part robot what with all his pseudo deaths and robotic organs? I'd like to see a call-back to those strips.
This is entirely unrelated to the strip and will probably be overlooked what with it's appearance so far down on the page BUUUUUUT...isn't Roast Beef essentially part robot what with all his pseudo deaths and robotic organs? I'd like to see a call-back to those strips.
rodjmeister
+0 -0
clear fluid is far worse than blood...but I think blood would be mixed in.
clear fluid is far worse than blood...but I think blood would be mixed in.
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
It's our fault, you know. In the days before Assetbar, the previous strip would have bloomed into a fine story arc. But with the long weekend, Chris Onstad had plenty of time to read the comments and learn of our collective dislike for Tina. Burdened with this knowledge, he euthanized the nascent arc today.
Try though we might, dear Assetbards, we cannot escape the horrible truth: the arc is dead, and the blood is on our hands. Well, not blood, exactly, but some sort of clear fluid.
It's our fault, you know. In the days before Assetbar, the previous strip would have bloomed into a fine story arc. But with the long weekend, Chris Onstad had plenty of time to read the comments and learn of our collective dislike for Tina. Burdened with this knowledge, he euthanized the nascent arc today.
Try though we might, dear Assetbards, we cannot escape the horrible truth: the arc is dead, and the blood is on our hands. Well, not blood, exactly, but some sort of clear fluid.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... or Tina performs some kind of guilty vigil and slowly roasts all of Ray's friends hence alienating him from deleted due to copywrite purposes.
... or Tina performs some kind of guilty vigil and slowly roasts all of Ray's friends hence alienating him from deleted due to copywrite purposes.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Onstad don't read the comments. He's said he doesn't want to be influenced by them.
Onstad don't read the comments. He's said he doesn't want to be influenced by them.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
and yet every now and then he comments on them...
and yet every now and then he comments on them...
zapatos
+0 -0
Who is he?
Who is he?
sje46
+0 -0
onstad.
He is. . . Onstad.
onstad.
He is. . . Onstad.
zapatos
+0 -0
Onstad's handle is onstad? I saw no posts on that handle's account.
Onstad's handle is onstad? I saw no posts on that handle's account.
sje46
+0 -0
He only posted like 9 times, if that.
It is onstad, though. The avatar is the same as the cover of the Achewood Cookbook.
He commented a few strips back. Let me find it.
He only posted like 9 times, if that.
It is onstad, though. The avatar is the same as the cover of the Achewood Cookbook.
He commented a few strips back. Let me find it.
ohdangit
+0 -0
This is the creepiest strip augh
This is the creepiest strip augh
gladi8orrex
+4 -1
dis effin' comic effin nasty. fuck . still fibed tho 4 shok valoo. jesus
dis effin' comic effin nasty. fuck . still fibed tho 4 shok valoo. jesus
featurelessvoid
+8 -1
Quote:
Translation:
This elfin comic effects a nastiness. Fact! Styling fibers, though, a shocking velour. je ne sais quoi
Here we see gladi8orrex embracing abstraction. Bored with the current Achewood strip, he switches his attention to some unknown comic about elves. Said comic is quite offensive, but as is his mission, Glad finds something positive in it: textiles so stylish that they almost redeem the whole affair.
Thank you, gladi8orrex, for helping us all remember to look for that silver lining inside the grey cloud of the webcomics world.
Quote:
dis effin' comic effin nasty. fuck. still fibed tho 4 shok valoo. jesus
Translation:
This elfin comic effects a nastiness. Fact! Styling fibers, though, a shocking velour. je ne sais quoi
Here we see gladi8orrex embracing abstraction. Bored with the current Achewood strip, he switches his attention to some unknown comic about elves. Said comic is quite offensive, but as is his mission, Glad finds something positive in it: textiles so stylish that they almost redeem the whole affair.
Thank you, gladi8orrex, for helping us all remember to look for that silver lining inside the grey cloud of the webcomics world.
evolume
+0 -0
holy shit 5 for "scrut scrut" alone.
holy shit 5 for "scrut scrut" alone.
null
+1 -0
This is a hard strip to read while eating pizza rolls.
This is a hard strip to read while eating pizza rolls.
irondave
+0 -0
The squish when you bite them made you uncomfortable, didn't it?
The squish when you bite them made you uncomfortable, didn't it?
woodenteeth
+1 -0
maybe it was the liquid that jetted into his mouth, hot and viscous .
maybe it was the liquid that jetted into his mouth, hot and viscous .
c_dizzle
+0 -0
though, your eating pizza rolls immediately reminded me of Dr. Orpheus...so...at least that's one momentary diversion on the way to wretching.
though, your eating pizza rolls immediately reminded me of Dr. Orpheus...so...at least that's one momentary diversion on the way to wretching.
tekende
+0 -0
Do not be hasty in entering that room! I had Taco Belllll for lunch!!
Do not be hasty in entering that room! I had Taco Belllll for lunch!!
thorfinn
+0 -0
I usually try not to be a dick about terms, but:
wretch (n): a miserable person
retch (v): vomit
not the same
I usually try not to be a dick about terms, but:
wretch (n): a miserable person
retch (v): vomit
not the same
lechatbotte
+1 -0
Thus: The poor wretch has retched on his ratcheted wrenches. The wretch will never get the retching out of the ratchets of his wrenches. Poor wretch.
Thus: The poor wretch has retched on his ratcheted wrenches. The wretch will never get the retching out of the ratchets of his wrenches. Poor wretch.
atmus
+0 -0
Wretching is like Fishing, only with Wretches. Pizza Rolls are a good, balanced snackfood for both Fishing and Wretching.
Wretching is like Fishing, only with Wretches. Pizza Rolls are a good, balanced snackfood for both Fishing and Wretching.
zapatos
+0 -1
Lie Bot, what is the saddest thing ever?
Lie Bot, what is the saddest thing ever?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Genocide.
Genocide.
thorfinn
+0 -0
That would depend on the target of the genocide. I think most people would agree that tweaker genocide would not be all that sad, and there are many other groups of people that this sentiment would apply to as well.
That would depend on the target of the genocide. I think most people would agree that tweaker genocide would not be all that sad, and there are many other groups of people that this sentiment would apply to as well.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I grin and giggle at the idea of a furry genocide.
I grin and giggle at the idea of a furry genocide.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
All making the ones in the dog costumes dig the mass graves by hand. All hunched over shoveling dirt between their legs.
All making the ones in the dog costumes dig the mass graves by hand. All hunched over shoveling dirt between their legs.
irondave
+0 -0
I feel shame that I laughed out loud at the idea of mass executions of people who think they are animals.
I feel shame that I laughed out loud at the idea of mass executions of people who think they are animals.
tekende
+0 -0
In trying to keep my laughter at this comment silent, a very odd noise squeezed betwixt my vocal cords.
In trying to keep my laughter at this comment silent, a very odd noise squeezed betwixt my vocal cords.
zapatos
+0 -0
I was thinking something more along the lines of, "A young man finds his lost love, they begin to realize their mistake, then he removes his entrails while trying to groom hisself. Instead of trying to save her love, the woman upsets a nation."
I was thinking something more along the lines of, "A young man finds his lost love, they begin to realize their mistake, then he removes his entrails while trying to groom hisself. Instead of trying to save her love, the woman upsets a nation."
mrchee
+0 -0
meh
meh
paradigmeyes
+0 -0
One can only hope that this is not autobiographical.
Dear sweet sexy jesus.
One can only hope that this is not autobiographical.
Dear sweet sexy jesus.
hcaz
+0 -0
this is grosser than that time I killed someone.
this is grosser than that time I killed someone.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
in many ways, onstad...in many ways.
in many ways, onstad...in many ways.
thedrizzle
+0 -0
Your belly button's so gross, when you cleaned it hot, clear fluid came out! Some of it got on the mayor!
Your belly button's so gross, when you cleaned it hot, clear fluid came out! Some of it got on the mayor!
rumblefish
+0 -0
Ok...so Ray has a metaphorical belly button.
Panels 4-7 describe the initial stages of his renewed relationship with Tina through to the inevitable time when it all goes south. The clear liquid is either Ray's common sense, or his self-esteem, or the time wasted on Tina, or possibly pus...it might be an infected metaphorical belly button.
Ok...so Ray has a metaphorical belly button.
Panels 4-7 describe the initial stages of his renewed relationship with Tina through to the inevitable time when it all goes south. The clear liquid is either Ray's common sense, or his self-esteem, or the time wasted on Tina, or possibly pus...it might be an infected metaphorical belly button.
zapatos
+0 -0
I need to grow my beard out like that guy, i already have the dishevled fauxhawk.
I need to grow my beard out like that guy, i already have the dishevled fauxhawk.
llobstrosity
+0 -0
Gaah, he was almost up to the first knuckle!
Gaah, he was almost up to the first knuckle!
numberkillinger
+0 -0
I have a question about what the deal is with alt-text in the GOF hardcover and the other printed volumes.
What is the deal with alt-text in the GOF hardcover and the other printed volumes?
I have a question about what the deal is with alt-text in the GOF hardcover and the other printed volumes.
What is the deal with alt-text in the GOF hardcover and the other printed volumes?
aperson
+1 -0
You can read it but only if you install the firefox plugin.
You can read it but only if you install the firefox plugin.
tekende
+0 -0
It is not there, but the GOF book has lots of supplemental information and a few extra comic pages here and there. It's well worth the money.
It is not there, but the GOF book has lots of supplemental information and a few extra comic pages here and there. It's well worth the money.
aperson
+0 -0
I like to think that by the time he is collapsed, the clear liquor is issuing from Ray with a rhythmic sqt sqt sqt .
sqt sqt sqt .
I like to think that by the time he is collapsed, the clear liquor is issuing from Ray with a rhythmic sqt sqt sqt .
sqt sqt sqt .
topsy
+0 -0
for sale:
Dremmel belly button cleaner attachment tool
used only once
for sale:
Dremmel belly button cleaner attachment tool
used only once
aperson
+0 -0
Slight staining (colourless).
Slight staining (colourless).
lechatbotte
+0 -0
The stench, oh the stench!
The stench, oh the stench!
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'll give you three guesses as to what I just found an alarming amount of caked in my belly button. Hell, I'm kinda surprised no dudes have mentioned it yet. Has nobody else plunged a small stick into the belly button afterwards to make a little popsicle?
I'll give you three guesses as to what I just found an alarming amount of caked in my belly button. Hell, I'm kinda surprised no dudes have mentioned it yet. Has nobody else plunged a small stick into the belly button afterwards to make a little popsicle?
echidnaboy
+0 -0
I generally aim it away from my body but then I'm not as hedonistic as you are
I generally aim it away from my body but then I'm not as hedonistic as you are
hedonismbot
+0 -0
But then you need to clean it off whatever it hits. Unless it is a lady. Then it is their problem. Same deal if you hit a homeless person with it.
But then you need to clean it off whatever it hits. Unless it is a lady. Then it is their problem. Same deal if you hit a homeless person with it.
aperson
+0 -0
My guess: is it mustard?
My guess: is it mustard?
zapatos
+0 -0
Only if his member is alike to a bottle of French's
Only if his member is alike to a bottle of French's
roscohoworiginal
+0 -0
This is the first achewood strip I actively hate.
This is the first achewood strip I actively hate.
thorfinn
+0 -0
As opposed to passive hatred?
As opposed to passive hatred?
roscohoworiginal
+0 -0
Most I passively liked, some, like 9-3-08, I actively liked. One or two I did passively hate. One is a vague malaise, a feeling of I am no more entertained then I was before reading this. The other is the feeling you get when you see a clawed finger digging through a belly button and piercing an artery.
It's when, the next day, you want to check and see if the site updated, but you are afraid you'll see it again, so you minimize the window so that you can confirm the date before proceeding.
Most I passively liked, some, like 9-3-08, I actively liked. One or two I did passively hate. One is a vague malaise, a feeling of I am no more entertained then I was before reading this. The other is the feeling you get when you see a clawed finger digging through a belly button and piercing an artery.
It's when, the next day, you want to check and see if the site updated, but you are afraid you'll see it again, so you minimize the window so that you can confirm the date before proceeding.
fictions
+1 -0
Dang man I can't get off to this
Dang man I can't get off to this
pixie_meat
+1 -0
I see Onstad has been reading my nightmare journal again.
I see Onstad has been reading my nightmare journal again.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
It wasn't in there for me, but it hell of is now.
It wasn't in there for me, but it hell of is now.
goro
+0 -0
Here's my umbilical story.
I was inspired by this strip to start poking around in there. Nothing happened at first, I just kinda noticed some hair deep inside, and that lit my curiosity, since I'm not that hairy a dude.
Then one day I was poking and this... small piece of flesh came out. It was like a tube with a few hairs on one end, which was completely dried up, and then the other end actually resembled real flesh.
Yes, that is nasty.
Here's my umbilical story.
I was inspired by this strip to start poking around in there. Nothing happened at first, I just kinda noticed some hair deep inside, and that lit my curiosity, since I'm not that hairy a dude.
Then one day I was poking and this... small piece of flesh came out. It was like a tube with a few hairs on one end, which was completely dried up, and then the other end actually resembled real flesh.
Yes, that is nasty.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
These past few strips I hadn't rated, though I distinctly remember viewing them.
Perhaps it was because, like now, I just don't know how I feel about them.
These past few strips I hadn't rated, though I distinctly remember viewing them.
Perhaps it was because, like now, I just don't know how I feel about them.
atypicaloracle
+0 -0
Oh God this is my nightmare, this is my bete noire in comic form, the navel is the freakiest of all physical features oh God he is bleeding from his belly hole auugh
Oh God this is my nightmare, this is my bete noire in comic form, the navel is the freakiest of all physical features oh God he is bleeding from his belly hole auugh
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
even though tina is a cat, she is also a dumb heifer.
even though tina is a cat, she is also a dumb heifer.
oh fuck that is nasty
Mega nasty, dog shit, etc.
I know this drill.
No, earnestly nasty.
Necessarily.
A comment left by thepunchman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, meddle, gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, Jesler729, tibcoolbreeze, furysama, IronDave, octafish, clembot, campincarl, gilganixon, icecube)
I am experiencing a strange sense of deja vu....
Reposting something deliberately just to get noticed is lame.
More evidence
Regardless, I am dissapointed in the post.
As one of the assetbar readers that can't see all 200-300 posts each day, I personally think it was neat that this was near the top (about as far as i'll scroll down generally) and couldn't give fuck less about whether some other random dude on the internet that i'll never meet (and who will never get real recognition for this little compilation job or whatever anyway) wrote it or this cat did. Or maybe you guys are just bitching that he posted it twice, I don't actually know. Either way, his posting it up here clearly made some people happy (20 chubbies?) and it isn't like it's one of manflesh's long ass posts of nonsense, you can easily scroll away if you've already seen it..ya'll need some buddha action up in this bitch.
Buddha action just ain't doin' the trick this time.
Actually, I believe she banged Lie Bot in disguise as Ray's uncle... Too lazy to look it up, though.
Yeah. It happened.
You are correct, and I present you a soft, fluffy chubby for said correctness.
Don't forget, she also called Roast Beef a "stupid nerd". Roast Beef is a man of many qualities, but stupid and nerd are not among them.
Nerd, maybe.
But stupid?
NEVER.
He's a geek, not a nerd.
as he mainly excelled in technical studies
I stand corrected.
either way, when she stepped to Beef she entered a world where the only activity that exists is tasting my hog.
Your hog?
my hog.
Oh my dog!
You of course mean fluffing.
Chubz for j00
Geeks are nerds who self-consciously think they're somehow a bit special.
So, Beef is definitely a nerd.
The difference between geeks and nerds is that geeks get the job done.
Hang on, I just realised - Beef is neither geek nor nerd - he is a dude.
From consequences.
Circumstances.
fuck me you're right.
and the farting
what about the farting
She continually :( :( :( :(, do you:
1) Break up with her?
I like that that is the only option.
Tina needs a list:
56) You are discussing your new lifestyle magazine when he does a @<
Apply pressure to the navel with a towel and mention that you were already planning on replacing all your bath linens with the new Martha Stewart fall line
I am so glad that you have discovered a simple ASCII drawing for a cat's claw entering a naval.
I like to think of it as fluid spraying from the navel.
It was supposed to be belly button effluent, but I like the idea of a claw ready to dig in, too.
I can't wait to use that somewhere else...the moment when the context is just right.
I lames this only because it was lie bot who shot beef in that arc.
Definitively nasty.
I actually used to clean my belly button once in a great while. Not. Any. More.
Once again, Achewood has changed things forever.
specifically
Earnest Nasty? I think I went to school with him.
Was he in the same class with Farter Carter and Really Pants?
Panel five would make a really good stand-alone single panel strip.
I submit panel 4 is more disgusting when read out of context.
I concur.
Yes. I saw it first, and wondered what I had gotten myself into. I can find no context where it does not contain a high ill factor.
I wonder if Onstad's having a problem similar to when everything that Ray drew looked like a penis.
jesus people, it's just lymph.
if i had a nickel...
The cat releases one of his humors while attempting to innovate in the field of gentleman hygiene.
A comment left by topsy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Zapatos, gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, Mangtastic, EM2, ActualTaunt, cathaoir, hardelicious)
Make it a link people, make it a link.
it's is a link
A comment left by topsy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, EM2, mercuri0us, ActualTaunt, hellaurie)
woh. topsy. settle. it really ain't a link. try posting it again.
It is a link, though. An image link. That's some high-tech internet that's rarely deployed on assetbar.
it is too a link. it links to the photo that it is.
A commentary on the self-referentiality of art.
I clicked and I don't get it regardless.
Octafish means just make it a text link, not a giant image link. He doesn't want his scrolling interrupted by a not very attractive big picture.
aw hell if people start posting large images this whole dang bar might as well shut up and go home
yeah but it was a very very good image there should be room for one or two of those how could people give it lame these people must live very bland lives with walls painted white or off-white without any texture spackling on the ceiling AT ALL
I was untroubled by the image, despite not getting why it was posted. However, your lack of punctuation has made me your implacable enemy lol
(i make up for it with capitalization & etc in my below post
then you're not doing IT rIght TRY harDER!$!$!$!
I'm sorry. Is it safe for work?
I'm not at work, actually, but on a computer at my college's library, under my account.
God damn that needs to be lamed harder!
Why can't I lame anymore? I promise, assetbar, if you return to me the ability to issue lames, it'll only ever be used on things like this from now on.
Pleeeease!
Don't worry, I'm not doing anything with my lames, you can use it. Done.
Whew. Owe you one, man.
Anytime. Bro's before ho's, or something.
Unrelated to everything:
Livin' At The Corner Of Dude And Catastrophe is available on Rock Band for 360 now, PS3 Thursday, for the price of one dollar, and proceeds go to charity.
It is also hellaciously awesome.
I'm uncertain as to why this got lamed. Is someone on here against music? Games? The unholy union of the two? Who is this mystery person who hates things that are meant to bring joy?
the anonymous lamer is Mangtastic .
Wait, so he's anonymous, but you know his name?
Do NOT doubt the powers of topsy, or meddle in her affairs!
Topsy works for the government. She had a wire tap placed on Mangtastic's... internet connection.
I admit I won't be 100% certain it was Mangtastic until the post-mortem.
An inquest shall follow.
Ye beat me!
Hey guys, I think you need to see this:
important information regarding the probing of belly buttons.
If Ray would only have done it up proper, he'd be turning on thousands right now.
Also, I still like Tina more than I like Molly.
She's got moxie.
I love moxie.
Wow. I'm rarely unable to watch shit on the internet but that takes the cake, aurtrepoupee.
That's just... that's just wrong. I don't want to lame you, but I don't know what else to do.
Isn't moxie what they use to kill rabbits?
Quick, send for the rabbit ambulance!
Moxiematosis?
I don't know who chubbied this. I didn't think anyone would get it, let alone find it good enough to chubby.
Any reference to the White Blindness is a thumbs-up in my book.
My book is Watership Down.
That was what I had intended to imply in the first place. Moxie-matosis. But I didn't chubby you.
that makes me feel really sick :(
Wow, that is a fetish I was totally unaware of and I wish I still was.
I had a similar experience to this. I was pokin' around in there because it hurt. and well... it escalated. you see, I had been working a tough summer job and I had to lift stuff often. holdin this stuff across my belly sorta, (not the best way I know) with both hands, I thought I was just pushin it. figgered some dirt or something had gotten in there so i started washin it out in the shower. THIS IS WHERE IT GOT WORSE. it only got more sore. and a fluid started leakin. not bein the kind to flip out, i figgered now that there may be an ingrown hair or something in there so i started washin it with q-tips damp with hydrogen peroxide. few days later the ordeal was done and i am no longer worried. i'm pretty shocked however that this INSANELY rare topic should come up only a few weeks after it happened to me.
perhaps Onstad shared a similar affliction. in which case i am sorry for you my dog.
i am not kidding by the way. all the naysayers be silent because i am not in the mood.
Lift with knees, lift with the knees. Jesus, I'm sending someone from OHS over right now.
So, anyone up for some umbililingus? (chicks only please.) (non-hemoraging only too please.)