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Killing is Like Basketball Wednesday, April 9, 2003 • read strip Viewing 177 comments:

Just like Teen Wolf

Nice Pete wears tube socks and tank tops during a murder AND NOTHING ELSE.

Thee muft make yon comment yearly and without fail, if thou wouldst keep the apple harveft bountiful.

Visitor wins the championship.

Anyone notice his eyes get bigger and bigger throughout this arc?

He's got pinholes at the start and then at the end he has the black glass beads the size of doorknobs.

What. The. Fuck.

Perhaps he is seeing reality though a darkening glass in which the world is barren and broken and there is naught but suffering along the gray road.

All mirroring the approach of Karin's soul as she moves closer and closer to her Divine vision

Quote:
spinynorman: Anyone notice his eyes get bigger and bigger throughout this arc?

He's got pinholes at the start and then at the end he has the black glass beads the size of doorknobs.

That is common when a person who is normally disinterested begins talking about the thing they love.

Visual aid:

[IMGS OFF]

... would be a sick avatar.

Ack! You're really dilatin' there, Bob! Any bigger'n, an ole baby gonna pop right out!

...

This is throwing me right into a mystical conundrum. Because it is well-known that the eyes do in fact dilate when the person is thinking or talking about one they love.
And it is also a known fact that at the moment of death, the pupils dilate....and fixate.

It's a nice thought that they may be related, but I think they are both just because the mind is not on the present reality, in one case because it is immersed in their affection, the other because it has vanished into oblivion.

Don't underrate oblivion. Love is oblivion, just spelled a little different, bro.
like, biolovin .


I begrudgingly confess that Nice Pete does not have a bad ass.

Indeed, firm.

nice pete wearing a jersey only draws attention to the complete lack of pants.

Tube socks and tank tops during a murder and NOTHING ELSE

At least Acheworld cats have shapely buttocks.

i just have to wonder, then, where is his tail?

He is a manx. It was removed by his father when he grew pubics.

If he is a manx, it then follows that his tail was removed when he grew pubix . Man comes from Circumstances.

I get it. You like x.

dude comes from cirxumstanxes

Pubix: Sexbots for Everyone

The Pubix Cube. Free "Happy Trail" solving guide included.

'Pubix' sounds like a breakfast cereal such as kids beam at when their moms bring out the box.

ew

Yeah can we not have this please

There's a free prize in every box

CLITS?

Yup. You gotta reach in the box, really feel around for it. Some people never find it.

But don't just go shoving you whole fist down there. Be careful, for god's sake.

The little man in the sailboat? He's. right. there.

Oh Jesus, I didn't even notice that when I looked at it.

Dagnabbit, every time I'd read this strip in the past it seemed he was wearing... I don't know, some sort of lycra arrangement. In my mind's eye, there wasn't even a hint of crack.
Can't. Not. See.

He takes care of himself. he is not of low ass.

cat-ass fever

I can recite this strip by heart. This is something I am proud of.

me too. meep.

Me too, only I derive no pride whatsoever from this fact ):

Me too, except I am deeply ashamed on all of our behalfs.

Me too, and I recited it to my friends while we were drunk, and I'm no longer sure where their opinions of me stand.

As far as strips to recite drunkenly go, this is a pretty good one.

Also, epicurus can recite all strips verbatim at any time, so his shame is understandeable.

Have you won any b-ball games lately? Maybe they think you are just a poser.

Did... did they initiate this exchange by asking you what it's like to kill someone?

there's no other way to describe this particular strip besides pure genius

seconds.

A comment left by zapatos was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by glorify, ESwrathwright, campincarl, Lawdog)

I want to see this strip animated for the sole reason that is does not require it, nor would it make use of much animation. Just Nice Pete standing there in squeaky shoes. And then an abrupt cut to a van door swinging shut. It's just so perfect.

Pete being bottomless is a totally sweet touch

Sorry man, while scrolling down I accidentally hit the lame button of this comment. It was completely accidental.

You are a monster.

One of my favorite strips.

This strip is the one that made me start reading Achewood. I remember it specifically, because my brain makes crazy things like this sometimes. The sense of identification was overwhelming and disturbing.

That is precisely how Achewood works.

A comment left by molesticide was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, Obarskyr, Michaelangelho, Danjoebak, GusPlease, birkensocks)

my take on it was that the home team is someone in their home. And he is the visitor to their home. And he is the winner.

That is precisely what I thought. I was hoping that I would be the first person to say that, but I was too late.

I believe there should be a movie of the title "The Visitor" about a murderer. Who kills people. When he visits them.

Sequel: "The Host"
and the trilogy concludes with "The individual who neither had a permanent residence nor visited others but still killed people."

"The Transient"?

"The Vagabond".

A comment left by catgrl131 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, Rhadamanthus, apricotta, lux)

You spelled "girl" wrong

131?

That's exactly what I thought as well. The first time I read this, the last panel made me picture Nice Pete in someone else's house, hovering over someone sleeping in their bed, just staring at them with those dead eyes. I shuddered involuntarily.

A comment left by giantants was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Obarskyr, Michaelangelho, GusPlease, Saint)

A comment left by mr_pete was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Michaelangelho, Danjoebak, GusPlease, Saint)

That should not make you feel cold. Seeing a barracuda in the water FROM IN the water -- that should make you feel cold. Seeing the barracuda from deck of the boat should only make you feel that the person who keeps reminding you that you them money is not standing close enough to rail. Perhaps you could help.

Every strip in this entire arc is goddamn beautiful.

I know! Why is deranged psychopathy such knee-slapping fun? Huh? I beg of you, tell me.

I would vote this a nine if I could. Or a twelve .

Congrats on your 9 chubbies. Would you like to go for 12?

The best part about this is the continuity it keeps from, like, four strips back. And from the ALT-TEXT, no less. I think that is pretty rad.

A comment left by philipmarschall was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Nurdbot, mrsmuckles, lastlarf)

Return to the strip where Pete describes his crimes and read the alt text.

I always thought he was wearing some kind of super tight lycra pants thing XD ahahaha.

A comment left by hoboninja was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, twohundredninety, rowboat, cdl146, lastlarf)

https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042003 for those of you who don't believe me for some reason.

Wow, you are right. My bad dogg.

But where is his tail? That is the real question.

the eternal conundrum of a comic featuring cats who wear clothes...

Presumably he's a Manx. Which would explain an awful, awful lot.

Maybe, just maybe , the pinnacle of Achewood

I spent about an hour trying to chop the text from this one in order to fit it into an MSN avatar. I also tend to sen this link to people and then they never speak to me again.

man, anyone you are sending this link to who is nonresponsive, you don't need in your life anyway

Agreed, this link is like a litmus test for true friendship.

I called my roommate over to read this.

Now she keeps sneaking suspicious looks at me over her book. Am I the Visiting Team or the Home Team? I guess it depends on which one of us falls asleep first...

...In which Korukyu assumes that she and her roomate have an unspoken agreement to murder whichever of them should fall asleep first.

NP's lack of pants gives a scary sex-offender vibe to his crimes. Also the silhouette of the other player running feebly at the opposite end of the court, trying in vain to escape.

I often send this link to co-workers.

This is the strip I show to all the people who want to know about Achewood whether they want to or not.

Pete's eyes are HUGE in this strip, but it just makes him look more crazy

It makes him look completely HIGH AS HELL!

First achewood I ever read and I was hell of hooked.

I love that the corpse and the van still get a mention even during the deluded basketball metaphor

that is the joke

This is seriously the best strip.

Pete's eyes are lagoons

Nice Pete really has a sporting look on life.

Nice pete has old woman asscheeks

Panel 2 makes this. It's not particularly memorable, or the high point of the strip, but without it, it wouldn't be the same.

this strip would most easily translate into a animated scene

mystic

This is one of my favorite strips.

PBF! Oy vey!

...sorry.

fave-o-right

Yeah panel 2 is definitely a nice touch, it's sort of an insane, focused tension before he speaks.

I would like to know what happened in Nice Petes life that made him psychotic, as we only get hints from the events in his childhood. Maybe one day we'll get to find out?

I thought it was more of Nice Pete taking his time to process the question.

As to the second part, I'd blame it on West Virginia but I'm from VA proper so that'd be unfair.

I am from Atlanta, and do not blame anything on West Virginians as they will murder me if I try.

oh no I grew Pubics

Daddy is gonna kill me for sure

The perfect strip. Achewood is so dependent on the story arcs that it is hard to show individuals strips to friends and actually have them appreciate it. However, this strip is such genius that EVERYONE who sees it cracks up.

The second panel is where Nice Pete decides it's all right to open up to Pat and that it's all right not kill him

A comment left by leezer was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Boyd, lastlarf)

Best arc on Achewood I've read so far!

My feelings on this asset are pro.

I showed this to a gothish girl in study hall back in high school. Her exact reply was:

"If I tilt my head, will my brain fall out? It seems to have shrunk. "

Bitch.

I almost gave this a lame on account of how that girl is so lame!

That girl is so lame .

There's never any need to show anything to a gothish girl, except the finger in the middle of your hand.

Lamest girl is ever beink.

I also almost reflexively lamed you, on account of your lame-ass goth friend. You won't catch me going there, not for a million bucks.

The most delightful and disturbing analogy I have ever heard.

Pat KNOWS what it's like to kill someone. That's how he met Pete in the first place.

Yeah, but that was accidentally. And that's probably nothing more special than hitting one of those wastepaper-basket basketball-nets.

I hate Nice Pete.

But it is a good hate.

"And I am the winner."

Classic.

"I put the other player's body into the back of my van, and I am the winner."

Out of context, that is the chronicled representation of the rules of House as told by a domineering five year-old girl.

The score is 0-1 at the end of the 4th quarter. Pete is the visitor, the dead guy is home.

One of my favorite strips ever. I think this one also sums up Nice Pete's character perfectly.

Also, possibly the creepiest/most awesome thing about Nice Pete is his hair and mustache (You know, aside from the lack of pants during murder). Perfection.

Nice Pete wears tube socks and tank tops during a murder AND NOTHING ELSE

Question:

What is Pete? He doesn't have a tail, so I don't think he is a cat or a dog. What kind of a animal, stuff toy, whatever, is he?

Answer:

He's a cat, according to the alt-text of this strip:

https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua47R6wN

Magic.

I can't believe that in three weeks no one has lamed that question. I mean, I don't find it particularly lame, and I'm not going to. But with some of the lame-happy people here it just seems amazing! Oh, and of course he's a cat.

I give you a chubby for your candidness.

What I can't believe is that two people lamed this poor guy innocently inquiring about the lack of laming! His question in an of itself was not lame, my dear Achewood compadres! To be fair, asking if Nice Pete was a dog was a dumb question! So, thus, I chubby you, as restitution for the wrongs that have been wrought.

Actually, only one of those should count. The other is from ovenface, who spends all of her free time in life systematically laming every comment I make. Yes. I occasionally check. For that, I guess I deserve the lames anyway.

How do you check who lames you? I need to settle some scores.

Okay, I don't actually care that much, but I am curious.

Oh, I don't even feel right about telling you. I kind of wish I'd never found out, sometimes. But it does make things more interesting, and it's useful to know who really, really hates you so you don't end up being ignorantly civil toward said hater at a later date, so:

Just under the "post a comment" box (the one just under the strip) there's an option to hide comments with a certain amount of lames. Change it to 1 lame and save it. Then scroll back down and find yourself (your avatar and comment will no longer appear, so just look for your name) and assetbar will tell you all the dirty little names of the folks who thought what you said was the worst thing ever.

Enjoy responsibly.

Oh wow. That's genius.

This is terrible knowledge you have unleashed, rowboat. It is not meant for the masses.

I will go hide in my bunker, awaiting the internet-based apocalypse.

Rowboat is pretty clearly merely the unwitting accomplice though.

I think heccibiggs is probably going to be the assetbar anti-christ

Whoa, don't blame us! Me, I'm just passin' it down the line. Besides, it's sort of important. In the least important way possible.

...[IMGS OFF]

What have I DONE?!

There is no room for you in my bunker. Sorry.

Oh, man. That is pretty goddamn sweet. Sometimes things get lamed and you're honestly like, "Wait, what?"

How clever.

I had to look at this about 7 times before I figured out what you'd done. I'm not really sure if that makes it subtlety and bad execution, but I'm leaning towards the former.

It took me a while too.

speaking of bad execution:

"subtlety or bad execution

"

fuck me i can't even blame this on assetbar

My, and I don't doubt, a great many others' first strip. It was not until now, however, having read the alt text a couple of strips ago, that I realised that he was without bottoms. Seriously. I just thought that those were really tight trousers.

Every strip in this arc is a 5.

This strip is filled to overflowing with awesome.

His buttocks are so tight, so tight.

Yes

So that's what it's like!

I just... I just can never not laugh. I can never not laugh.

one of my all-time-favorite strips ever.

This strip was on my birthday way back when. After waking up and checking the internet I was all like

Bless the baby angel who is in charge of days like today.

(Chris Onstad)

ny first strip :)

tell us a story, Nice Pete.

Scott Peterson: R.O.Y.
Nice Pete: M.V.P.
Charles Manson...

...H.O.F.

that is one of the lowest scoring basketball games i've seen, though i guess one life translates into hell of points

Pat does not know what it is like to kill someone because he can't get any of his shooting victims to STAY DEAD. Blame Dr. Andretti, plus heaven leaks like a sieve.

I love how Chris has everyone's voice down almost right from the start. I can just hear Nice Pete talking when I read this.

The visitor has no pants. Visitors should always have pants when visiting...

'm I the only person who realizes Pat is asking Pete "what's it like to kill someone" when Pat is in jail for MAN SLAUGHTER? :(


so amazing

i made an account just to rate this strip

I am saving this, then emailing all of my contacts. We will have new readers soon. Either that, or I will be making house-calls.

This is so full of dry humour it's just great.
My favorite

Rated FIVE for having four seconds left on the shot clock. Nice Pete is such a badass, he managed to get fouled, kill the other player, stuff his body in a van, and return to the court, all within TWENTY SECONDS. AND he sunk at least one of his penalty shots.

"Nice Pete wears tube socks and tank tops during a murder AND NOTHING ELSE"

I've read this strip so many times and it just never gets old. I am ordering a signed copy right now.

I have a friend just like Pete, only his name is Steve. And he's never actually killed anyone.

...that you know of.

When thinking about killing a guy, Nice Pete unconsciously begins removing his pants.

No one would chase him. Or fight with him. There's method to his madness.