cmr
+0 -0
A comment left by cmr was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gingerbreadman, lateadopter, LexSenthur)
A comment left by cmr was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gingerbreadman, lateadopter, LexSenthur)
fuce
+60 -0
Latin: Excuse me. I have to see a man about a dog.
Latin: Excuse me. I have to see a man about a dog.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
agentcimorene
+0 -0
Aww I was going to say that but asset bar was closed last night. Chubbied.
Aww I was going to say that but asset bar was closed last night. Chubbied.
gormster
+1 -0
Yeah, what was with that? I just kept clicking on the comic and nothing kept happening! Man, computers, amirite
Yeah, what was with that? I just kept clicking on the comic and nothing kept happening! Man, computers, amirite
hamscout
+0 -0
I feel ripped off.
I feel ripped off.
i_love_kate
+10 -0
Congratulations, sentence above the picture of Leo Fontanette
you are
the most impressively coherent run-on sentence of your length this Summer.
Congratulations, sentence above the picture of Leo Fontanette
you are
the most impressively coherent run-on sentence of your length this Summer.
puguglypress
+0 -0
you are
this summer's most impressively coherent run-on sentence of your length this summer
you are
this summer's most impressively coherent run-on sentence of your length this summer
stereo
+4 -0
you are
this summer's lengthiest most redundant sentence of this length, redundantly this summer in the summer
you are
this summer's lengthiest most redundant sentence of this length, redundantly this summer in the summer
streever
+0 -0
you are
this summer's lengthiest most redundant sentence of this length, redundantly this summer in the summer
you are
this summer's lengthiest most redundant sentence of this length, redundantly this summer in the summer
wazza
+1 -0
you are
this summer's lengthiest, summeriest, most redundant sentence of this length, redundantly this summer in the summer
you are
this summer's lengthiest, summeriest, most redundant sentence of this length, redundantly this summer in the summer
octafish
+1 -0
No, you are!
No, you are!
thegoblins
+2 -0
AND THEN WE STOP
AND BRING IT BACK UP
AND THEN WE STOP
AND BRING IT BACK UP
streever
+0 -0
one more time!
one more time!
usversusthem
+0 -0
Music's got me feeling so free, we're gonna celebrate!
Music's got me feeling so free, we're gonna celebrate!
plummet
+0 -0
celebrate and dance so free
celebrate and dance so free
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
That's what she (a fitness instructor by day) said.
Quote:
AND THEN WE STOP AND BRING IT BACK UP
That's what she (a fitness instructor by day) said.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
That's what she (a fitness instructor by day) said.
Quote:
AND THEN WE STOP AND BRING IT BACK UP
That's what she (a fitness instructor by day) said.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and then she called a water break.
and then she called a water break.
thegoblins
+2 -0
And then she came back with a swan on a leash...
And then she came back with a swan on a leash...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and a raised eyebrow.
and a raised eyebrow.
thegoblins
+0 -0
You don't want to know what the eyebrow can do!
You don't want to know what the eyebrow can do!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
much less a RAISED one.
much less a RAISED one.
9
+0 -0
I fold
I fold
wazza
+1 -0
I'm going all in.
Come on, baby needs a new pair of fuzzy handcuffs!
I'm going all in.
Come on, baby needs a new pair of fuzzy handcuffs!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
if your restraints are fuzz-tastic, i'd claim your priorities are in the wrong order.
if your restraints are fuzz-tastic, i'd claim your priorities are in the wrong order.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Maybe there will be enough left over for chocolate pens. MAYBE.
Maybe there will be enough left over for chocolate pens. MAYBE.
octafish
+0 -0
Is the letter "i" missing from that first sentence?
Is the letter "i" missing from that first sentence?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm not into fowl play.
I'm not into fowl play.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this coming from a chick.
this coming from a chick.
thegoblins
+0 -0
You dare to bird the lion?
You dare to bird the lion?
wazza
+0 -0
I'd lion a bird if she was as hot as you
I'd lion a bird if she was as hot as you
thegoblins
+0 -0
awww, do you mane it?
awww, do you mane it?
liver
+0 -0
Iron like a lion from zion stop tryin so hard,
I think I smell your brain cells fryin.
Iron like a lion from zion stop tryin so hard,
I think I smell your brain cells fryin.
wazza
+0 -0
I'd take pride in being with a girl like you
I'd take pride in being with a girl like you
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
mee-oww~
mee-oww~
thegoblins
+0 -0
IN BEING WITHOUT
IN BEING WITHOUT
greatjob
+1 -0
Get a room.
[IMGS OFF]
Get a room.
[IMGS OFF]
wazza
+0 -0
y-y-you don't w-want me?
y-y-you don't w-want me?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I have two theories on this one.
a) You are a stranger on the internet. I have no idea of what you are actually like, aside from the occasional amusing thing you might choose to post.
b) I would love to incubate your hell-spawn in my sulfurous infernal pit.
I have two theories on this one.
a) You are a stranger on the internet. I have no idea of what you are actually like, aside from the occasional amusing thing you might choose to post.
b) I would love to incubate your hell-spawn in my sulfurous infernal pit.
wazza
+0 -0
wait... I am a stranger ... on the internet ?
how can that possibly happen?
nevertheless, my Sceptre of Satan is yours whenever you wish to conjure an incubus.
wait... I am a stranger ... on the internet ?
how can that possibly happen?
nevertheless, my Sceptre of Satan is yours whenever you wish to conjure an incubus.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Be carefull negotiating the blasted heath!
Be carefull negotiating the blasted heath!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Bugger me; that's the scottish not the english. I must lear n to check my sources.
Bugger me; that's the scottish not the english. I must lear n to check my sources.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I now posses the Rod of Destiny. Huzzah.
I now posses the Rod of Destiny. Huzzah.
oltanya
+12 -0
YO I_LOVE_KATE, I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT THE LA TIMES WROTE ONE OF THE BEST RUN-ON SETENCES OF ALL TIME. THE BEST RUN-ON SENTENCE OF ALL TIME. PEACE.
YO I_LOVE_KATE, I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT THE LA TIMES WROTE ONE OF THE BEST RUN-ON SETENCES OF ALL TIME. THE BEST RUN-ON SENTENCE OF ALL TIME. PEACE.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I found out what this is a reference to just before I read it! How fortuitous.
I found out what this is a reference to just before I read it! How fortuitous.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Oh quit trying to act like you're taking it well ilk, we all know you're crying backstage like a BITCH
Oh quit trying to act like you're taking it well ilk, we all know you're crying backstage like a BITCH
oltanya
+0 -0
He's crying in particular that I got chubbied in spite of misspelling "sentences" once.
He's crying in particular that I got chubbied in spite of misspelling "sentences" once.
thegoblins
+2 -0
Being good at spelling don't get you chubbies. I HAVE DISCOVERED.
Being good at spelling don't get you chubbies. I HAVE DISCOVERED.
irony_or_death
+0 -0
You just secured a chubby for not spelling anything in there poorly.
I mean, you could reasonably argue that the actual cause of the chubby has more to do with a clever psychological trick on your part or a desire to turn strangers into liars on my part, but it's really a happier ending for everyone if it's about spelling. So let's go with that.
You just secured a chubby for not spelling anything in there poorly.
I mean, you could reasonably argue that the actual cause of the chubby has more to do with a clever psychological trick on your part or a desire to turn strangers into liars on my part, but it's really a happier ending for everyone if it's about spelling. So let's go with that.
greatjob
+0 -0
Hilarity!
Hilarity!
i_love_kate
+4 -0
Also I may not have told anyone this but my guess as to who was in seat Z-1 in that other strip was totally... a thing made of vegetables.
Also I may not have told anyone this but my guess as to who was in seat Z-1 in that other strip was totally... a thing made of vegetables.
invidious
+7 -0
YOU LIE!
YOU LIE!
octafish
+3 -0
Have you no respect for the office...
So what becomes of you my love
When they have finally stripped you of
The handbags and the gladrags
That your Grandad had to sweat so you could buy
Have you no respect for the office...
So what becomes of you my love
When they have finally stripped you of
The handbags and the gladrags
That your Grandad had to sweat so you could buy
thegoblins
+0 -0
That song always made me cry
That song always made me cry
honesttom
+3 -0
On reflection, all the clues were there.
On reflection, all the clues were there.
thegoblins
+4 -0
Your MOM is a thing made of vegetables. Her bitter melon is an acquired taste, but everyone likes her potatoes.
Your MOM is a thing made of vegetables. Her bitter melon is an acquired taste, but everyone likes her potatoes.
9
+0 -0
A comment left by 9 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mintyhelminthes, woodenteeth, Beverage)
A comment left by 9 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mintyhelminthes, woodenteeth, Beverage)
streever
+0 -0
... what?
... what?
9
+0 -0
I mean, she's not, say, adjusting her clothing by taking pictures of herself, she's not that far gone, but she's still out there.
I mean, she's not, say, adjusting her clothing by taking pictures of herself, she's not that far gone, but she's still out there.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
...What?
...What?
thegoblins
+1 -0
Streever's just scared of the magic contained in mirrors. Webcams are much safer. Let me psychoanalyze myself: I make your mom jokes because I have a latent attraction to your mom.
Streever's just scared of the magic contained in mirrors. Webcams are much safer. Let me psychoanalyze myself: I make your mom jokes because I have a latent attraction to your mom.
puguglypress
+0 -0
...what?
...what?
streever
+0 -0
The ...what? was the only proper response to 9. You did it wrong, goblins :(
The ...what? was the only proper response to 9. You did it wrong, goblins :(
thegoblins
+0 -0
:(
:(
streever
+0 -0
We're all so sad now :(
We're all so sad now :(
thegoblins
+0 -0
...mom?
...mom?
streever
+0 -0
I'm sorry honey. I know it's confusing sometimes, but I'm your dear old mom, and I just wish you'd call me.
I'm sorry honey. I know it's confusing sometimes, but I'm your dear old mom, and I just wish you'd call me.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I called you ten minutes ago, you bitch!
I called you ten minutes ago, you bitch!
i_love_kate
+2 -0
THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER TO BUY BATTERIES
THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER TO BUY BATTERIES
stereo
+0 -0
I'm gonna give this a tentative chubby, assuming it's a gladi8or reference.
I'm gonna give this a tentative chubby, assuming it's a gladi8or reference.
streever
+0 -0
Your mom is so forgetful these days! Am I going senile? You'd tell me, right? and does my food still taste good?
Your mom is so forgetful these days! Am I going senile? You'd tell me, right? and does my food still taste good?
streever
+0 -0
why did you put me in the home :(
why did you put me in the home :(
liver
+0 -0
why did you give my tool to the TSA?
why did you give my tool to the TSA?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Streever, you're a dick!
Streever, you're a dick!
thegoblins
+1 -0
My issues will lurk you SO HARD.
My issues will lurk you SO HARD.
jinxtigr
+0 -0
Sweet and sour bitter melon?
Sweet and sour bitter melon?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Cute story...
Cute story...
ironmidgit
+0 -0
i like the presentation of the strip! specially since the arc didnt seem to be going anywhere in particular. but i want to see some more on polly and connie!
i like the presentation of the strip! specially since the arc didnt seem to be going anywhere in particular. but i want to see some more on polly and connie!
daidai
+22 -0
you are in the world's tiniest minority.
you are in the world's tiniest minority.
earendil
+6 -0
The pigmies look upon you with the greatest of pity, for they alone can truly feel the pain of your size.
The pigmies look upon you with the greatest of pity, for they alone can truly feel the pain of your size.
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Poor little guys used to control the whole of sub-saharan Africa... damn the eastward Bantu volkerwanderung!
Poor little guys used to control the whole of sub-saharan Africa... damn the eastward Bantu volkerwanderung!
wazza
+0 -1
for some reason, German words involving "volk" being used in politics and anthropology always give me chills.
I wonder why...
for some reason, German words involving "volk" being used in politics and anthropology always give me chills.
I wonder why...
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
its because youre a wuss.
its because youre a wuss.
thegoblins
+1 -0
Scared of Hitler
Scared of Hitler
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Volkswussen
take a luxurious spin down der autobahn...SCHNELL!
Volkswussen
take a luxurious spin down der autobahn...SCHNELL!
thegoblins
+0 -0
A bad genocide review can kill a playa in this town.
A bad genocide review can kill a playa in this town.
scorpio_nadir
+6 -0
Horrible! He killed mein momma, mein dadda, mein aunts, mein uncles, sent mein bruddas to Russian Front, made me dig bodies out of rubble in bombed Berlin apartments, barehanded; then I lost both arms to gangrene~
Will not be seigheiling that Fuhrer again.
Horrible! He killed mein momma, mein dadda, mein aunts, mein uncles, sent mein bruddas to Russian Front, made me dig bodies out of rubble in bombed Berlin apartments, barehanded; then I lost both arms to gangrene~
Will not be seigheiling that Fuhrer again.
srikamaraja
+4 -0
He kills my parents, he kills my children. But does he kill my wife? No.
He kills my parents, he kills my children. But does he kill my wife? No.
puguglypress
+0 -0
This cloud, it does NOT have silfer linink.
This cloud, it does NOT have silfer linink.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
De nada, Schweetie.
De nada, Schweetie.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"Knowing-people" or "People know" is all I can get from that.
"Knowing-people" or "People know" is all I can get from that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
NEVER MIND I SEE THE GENESIS UP THERE SORRY MOM SORRY DAD College I'm not sorry.
NEVER MIND I SEE THE GENESIS UP THERE SORRY MOM SORRY DAD College I'm not sorry.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
EIN VOLK...EIN REICH...EIN FUEHRER!
Might be related.
EIN VOLK...EIN REICH...EIN FUEHRER!
Might be related.
invidious
+0 -0
There's something serene about a user called "ironmidgit" being part of "the world's tiniest minority"
Oh, that daidai, he so funny!
There's something serene about a user called "ironmidgit" being part of "the world's tiniest minority"
Oh, that daidai, he so funny!
scorpio_nadir
+9 -0
Oh, that daidai was filmed before a dead audience who were awaiting reincarnation as various dogs, cats, and car salesmen.
Oh, that daidai was filmed before a dead audience who were awaiting reincarnation as various dogs, cats, and car salesmen.
daidai
+2 -0
Upon the creation of his own sitcom, Daidai's malicious plans drew nearer and nearer to completion. Operation: Strangle Harrison Ford entered stage 5 .
Upon the creation of his own sitcom, Daidai's malicious plans drew nearer and nearer to completion. Operation: Strangle Harrison Ford entered stage 5 .
thegoblins
+0 -0
He's outgrown his babeliness. You may have him.
He's outgrown his babeliness. You may have him.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
We'll always have Bladerunner.
We'll always have Bladerunner.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
END TITLE MUSIIIIC
'buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, (tum-dum-tum-dum-tum-dum-tum-dum) boo-nuh-nuh-nuh, boo-nuh-nuh-nuh, boo-nuh-nuh-nuh, boo-nuh-nuh-nuh (vweeeeee, weeeee, eeeeee-yoooowwww...)'
END TITLE MUSIIIIC
'buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, (tum-dum-tum-dum-tum-dum-tum-dum) boo-nuh-nuh-nuh, boo-nuh-nuh-nuh, boo-nuh-nuh-nuh, boo-nuh-nuh-nuh (vweeeeee, weeeee, eeeeee-yoooowwww...)'
scorpio_nadir
+4 -0
Daidai vowed cold revenge on Harrison Ford the day Ford rejected his screenplay for a Star Wars /slash/ pioneer themed TV series called Little Hutt on the Prairie
Daidai vowed cold revenge on Harrison Ford the day Ford rejected his screenplay for a Star Wars /slash/ pioneer themed TV series called Little Hutt on the Prairie
invidious
+0 -0
And how long had you been marinating that pun?
And how long had you been marinating that pun?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Until it parts easily from the Bone!?
Until it parts easily from the Bone!?
kittydragon
+0 -0
The bone that I... BONED?
The bone that I... BONED?
octafish
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
??????????
[IMGS OFF]
??????????
granularsilica
+0 -0
Guess she finally escaped from hedonismbot's basement.
Guess she finally escaped from hedonismbot's basement.
spazdor
+0 -0
I had this sucker in the water bath at a hundo and twenty F for five days!
I had this sucker in the water bath at a hundo and twenty F for five days!
srikamaraja
+0 -0
*plorp*
::GLIGGLE::
*plorp*
::GLIGGLE::
wazza
+0 -0
Ford rejects anything involving slash.
He's afraid of finding himself in bed with a guy in a Wookie suit
Ford rejects anything involving slash.
He's afraid of finding himself in bed with a guy in a Wookie suit
puguglypress
+0 -0
I picture something like Peewee's playhouse, where the lack of canned laughter makes daidai's conversations with puppets and trains very uncomfortable.
I picture something like Peewee's playhouse, where the lack of canned laughter makes daidai's conversations with puppets and trains very uncomfortable.
daidai
+0 -0
it is not uncomfortable they think i am very funny
it is not uncomfortable they think i am very funny
expellens
+3 -0
More Lyle agitated by drink! More Phillipe agitated by Lyle! Or better yet, let's see Liebot describe yet another saddest thing. Toss us a bone for heavens' sake!
More Lyle agitated by drink! More Phillipe agitated by Lyle! Or better yet, let's see Liebot describe yet another saddest thing. Toss us a bone for heavens' sake!
firedmyass
+0 -0
i got your bone right here.
no... here .
i got your bone right here.
no... here .
granularsilica
+0 -0
Make up your mind.
Make up your mind.
agentcimorene
+0 -1
Actually I'd kind of like to know they're doing okay. Reminds me of my mom's best friend. She's in her 40s and her second husband is in his 70s. I went into the Quiznos he manages to talk to a friend who wasn't even on shift yet and he had a fit. He will never be as cool as Mr. Bear.
Actually I'd kind of like to know they're doing okay. Reminds me of my mom's best friend. She's in her 40s and her second husband is in his 70s. I went into the Quiznos he manages to talk to a friend who wasn't even on shift yet and he had a fit. He will never be as cool as Mr. Bear.
macfall
+0 -1
The smallest minority, as Ayn Rand wrote, is the individual.
But individuals who want to see some more on polly and connie are even smaller.
The smallest minority, as Ayn Rand wrote, is the individual.
But individuals who want to see some more on polly and connie are even smaller.
puguglypress
+5 -0
Is that right, a college freshman?
Is that right, a college freshman?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Ayn Rand ain't cool for tryin', she lame for bein' .
Ayn Rand ain't cool for tryin', she lame for bein' .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
just like a college freshman...
just like a college freshman...
wazza
+0 -0
for the life of me, I cannot remember...
for the life of me, I cannot remember...
stereo
+0 -0
Why we thought that we were wise, or that we'd never compromise?
Why we thought that we were wise, or that we'd never compromise?
wazza
+0 -0
PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WERE A FUCKING FIRST-YEAR!
PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WERE A FUCKING FIRST-YEAR!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hey guys, Freshers Week has just started here at Sheffield, and thus I must respond
Yay
Yay to this.
Hey guys, Freshers Week has just started here at Sheffield, and thus I must respond
Yay
Yay to this.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
AGH! PIECE OF SHIT MORON!
AGH! PIECE OF SHIT MORON!
srikamaraja
+7 -0
Shitty little work-in-a-room shirt and car man!
Shitty little work-in-a-room shirt and car man!
daidai
+3 -0
The magistrate is a judicious and wise creature composed entirely of saggy, nipple-less tits.
The magistrate is a judicious and wise creature composed entirely of saggy, nipple-less tits.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I thought it was an ass with many hemorrhoids. And flatulence.
I thought it was an ass with many hemorrhoids. And flatulence.
daidai
+7 -0
that would be your mother
that would be your mother
dirian
+0 -0
OOH, THIRD DEGREE BURN, YO!!!
OOH, THIRD DEGREE BURN, YO!!!
lateadopter
+10 -0
I take this as Onstad's way of saying, "You want closure? I got your closure right here."
I take this as Onstad's way of saying, "You want closure? I got your closure right here."
i_love_kate
+1 -0
We still ain't know what happened to Chuck.
We still ain't know what happened to Chuck.
aperson
+49 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
bluemoon72
+1 -0
Oooh, nicely done. Chubb!
Oooh, nicely done. Chubb!
aperson
+1 -0
btw that sass was not aimed at lateadopter or i_l_k. I proved myself a chump who would reply to the wrong post.
btw that sass was not aimed at lateadopter or i_l_k. I proved myself a chump who would reply to the wrong post.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Phew, man. My self esteem almost took a fatal hit, there.
Phew, man. My self esteem almost took a fatal hit, there.
aperson
+0 -0
God, in the pit of my stomach was a tight knot of anguish caused by my imagining that comment-location might be misconstrued.
God, in the pit of my stomach was a tight knot of anguish caused by my imagining that comment-location might be misconstrued.
sherief
+0 -0
Agreed. I think this is what happens when people start getting uppity on Asset-bar. Onstad gets 'meta'
Agreed. I think this is what happens when people start getting uppity on Asset-bar. Onstad gets 'meta'
johnmatrix
+11 -0
It's not like people were complaining for no reason. For the most part, people around here give reasons as to why they don't like something. It's not "thiz strip suckors!1!" or "I hate u, onstade!", it tends to be much more reasonable "I thought this arc could have been a little better" or "This part could've been resolved a bit more clearly." In fact, most of the response to the arc was very positive, it was just the ending that some people weren't sold on.
A writer can't expect people to eat up everything they give them, nor can they expect them to be perfectly happy with loose ends. Also, writers are more likely than not to be less critical of their work than their readers, but only the most arrogant would assume their works are perfect and beyond criticism (like that bitch who does Anne Rice).
Of course, I'm mostly just saying. More likely than not, this is just Onstad being snarky, as men tend to be, not a case of "You peons don't deserve my genius!"
It's not like people were complaining for no reason. For the most part, people around here give reasons as to why they don't like something. It's not "thiz strip suckors!1!" or "I hate u, onstade!", it tends to be much more reasonable "I thought this arc could have been a little better" or "This part could've been resolved a bit more clearly." In fact, most of the response to the arc was very positive, it was just the ending that some people weren't sold on.
A writer can't expect people to eat up everything they give them, nor can they expect them to be perfectly happy with loose ends. Also, writers are more likely than not to be less critical of their work than their readers, but only the most arrogant would assume their works are perfect and beyond criticism (like that bitch who does Anne Rice).
Of course, I'm mostly just saying. More likely than not, this is just Onstad being snarky, as men tend to be, not a case of "You peons don't deserve my genius!"
puguglypress
+0 -0
Chubbied for not saying "if you don't like it, don't read it!"
Chubbied for not saying "if you don't like it, don't read it!"
8
+2 -2
fuck you!
fuck you!
puguglypress
+0 -0
Sorry 8, I'm all out of chubbies.
Sorry 8, I'm all out of chubbies.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Covered.
Covered.
jaspers
+0 -0
It's Anne Rice who is the bitch who does Anne Rice, isn't it.
It's Anne Rice who is the bitch who does Anne Rice, isn't it.
jaspers
+0 -0
Oh nevermind, I now know that it is Howard Allen O'Brien who pretends to be a woman named Anne Rice. I am sorry for this. :(
Oh nevermind, I now know that it is Howard Allen O'Brien who pretends to be a woman named Anne Rice. I am sorry for this. :(
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Shit, I meant the Anita Blake books by Laura K Hamilton, not Anne Rice. I'm sorry.
Though, I've heard Anne Rice is largely the same way.
Shit, I meant the Anita Blake books by Laura K Hamilton, not Anne Rice. I'm sorry.
Though, I've heard Anne Rice is largely the same way.
invidious
+0 -0
Laurell K Hamilton, but you're right: no author loves their own creations quite as intensely (and, perhaps, literally) as Hamilton.
I actually read through most of the Anita Blake series. The first several books are laughably bad, and definitely show the signs of a novice author: stereotypical characters, mishandled plot constructs, forced atmosphere. But then, briefly, for one or two books, she's showed a lot of promise and they started to get almost... good.
But by that point Hamilton was hopelessly in love with all of her characters, and the series quickly plummeted into the abyss of literary auto-lingus.
Laurell K Hamilton, but you're right: no author loves their own creations quite as intensely (and, perhaps, literally) as Hamilton.
I actually read through most of the Anita Blake series. The first several books are laughably bad, and definitely show the signs of a novice author: stereotypical characters, mishandled plot constructs, forced atmosphere. But then, briefly, for one or two books, she's showed a lot of promise and they started to get almost... good.
But by that point Hamilton was hopelessly in love with all of her characters, and the series quickly plummeted into the abyss of literary auto-lingus.
plummet
+1 -0
I opened up Incubus Dreams and immediately closed it after reading past the part where Anita has sex with two dudes while a furry leopardman watches and gets a boner
If I want that I'll go to assetbar, why pay for something I can get for free?
I opened up Incubus Dreams and immediately closed it after reading past the part where Anita has sex with two dudes while a furry leopardman watches and gets a boner
If I want that I'll go to assetbar, why pay for something I can get for free?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I shelved all of these people for years but refused to read them. I was all "I'm not gonna check out the books EVERYONE checks out." Check it out.
I shelved all of these people for years but refused to read them. I was all "I'm not gonna check out the books EVERYONE checks out." Check it out.
gyrate
+3 -0
I thought Anne Rice's books had been written by Francis Bacon?
I thought Anne Rice's books had been written by Francis Bacon?
sherief
+0 -0
More like turkey bacon
More like turkey bacon
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In Anne Rice gulag, turkey bacon Bites You!
In Anne Rice gulag, turkey bacon Bites You!
labrat
+1 -0
"Writers are more likely than not to be less critical of their work than readers ..."
Most highly talented writers are obsessively critical of their own work. That's what makes them good.
"Writers are more likely than not to be less critical of their work than readers ..."
Most highly talented writers are obsessively critical of their own work. That's what makes them good.
johnmatrix
+1 -0
"Most writers" and "most highly talented writers" aren't the same thing. In any case I doubt it applies to Onstad, as he continues to write his arcs without planning them out, even though the fans are often unhappy with the end results.
"Most writers" and "most highly talented writers" aren't the same thing. In any case I doubt it applies to Onstad, as he continues to write his arcs without planning them out, even though the fans are often unhappy with the end results.
9
+0 -0
A comment left by 9 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by atypicaloracle, rascaldom, Scorpio_nadir, Troy_Convers, foea, ouroboros)
A comment left by 9 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by atypicaloracle, rascaldom, Scorpio_nadir, Troy_Convers, foea, ouroboros)
goneill451
+1 -0
To paraphrase the above: We some mega thoughtless nerds who got about as much decorum as Kanye wears seat belts.
To paraphrase the above: We some mega thoughtless nerds who got about as much decorum as Kanye wears seat belts.
expellens
+0 -0
ever
heard
of
paragraphs?
ever
heard
of
paragraphs?
invidious
+0 -0
Guess who failed to qualify for the "most highly-talented writers" category.
Guess who failed to qualify for the "most highly-talented writers" category.
awksedperl
+0 -0
I'm as much of a fan of decorum as the next guy, but 9's post is just a tantrum gussied up with a lot of poorly formatted, pseudo-intellectual claptrap.
I'm as much of a fan of decorum as the next guy, but 9's post is just a tantrum gussied up with a lot of poorly formatted, pseudo-intellectual claptrap.
9
+0 -0
yes indeed, that much it is.
yes indeed, that much it is.
thegoblins
+1 -0
Is your avatar a backwards MRI of craniofacial development? EEEES EEEEET
Is your avatar a backwards MRI of craniofacial development? EEEES EEEEET
wazza
+0 -0
no, it's a slice-by-slice CAT scan view.
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT!?!
no, it's a slice-by-slice CAT scan view.
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT!?!
thegoblins
+0 -0
HOLY SHIT I need to drop out of school right now
HOLY SHIT I need to drop out of school right now
granularsilica
+0 -0
Remedial AssetBar 101 is now in session.
Remedial AssetBar 101 is now in session.
stereo
+0 -0
For the uneducated, CAT scans show bones (the calcium atoms are fat, and block X-radiation), MRI does not, because it shows fluids.
For the uneducated, CAT scans show bones (the calcium atoms are fat, and block X-radiation), MRI does not, because it shows fluids.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I know. I just make stupid mistakes. STUPID STUPID STUPID!
MRI shows water-filled substances because they show rotations of hydrogen atoms realigning their spins in a magnetic field. Smarty-pants session ends.
I know. I just make stupid mistakes. STUPID STUPID STUPID!
MRI shows water-filled substances because they show rotations of hydrogen atoms realigning their spins in a magnetic field. Smarty-pants session ends.
liver
+0 -0
Maybe you should get that looked at via a SPECT study.
Maybe you should get that looked at via a SPECT study.
stereo
+6 -0
To paraphrase the above: Half the users on assetbar are me, and I am not the average fan.
To paraphrase the above: Half the users on assetbar are me, and I am not the average fan.
jinxtigr
+0 -0
The average fan is also known as the MEAN :)
The average fan is also known as the MEAN :)
theirateturk
+0 -2
I hate to break it to you but this is just a humble forum for a webcomic (albeit a lofty one). Think of it as a place for the little people to have light hearted conversation to help ease the banality of their day, while also making crude observations about the characters and/ or the burden of their failed and useless lives.
It's not an epic symposium and we are not going to cure cancer. No faggots sitting around stroking their chins on the internet will ever amount to anything anyway. The only way to achieve something is by going out and doing it, not hypothesising ad nauseam online.
So kindly kick back and try to let the rest of us enjoy our refuge without fagging it up.
Thank you =]
I hate to break it to you but this is just a humble forum for a webcomic (albeit a lofty one). Think of it as a place for the little people to have light hearted conversation to help ease the banality of their day, while also making crude observations about the characters and/ or the burden of their failed and useless lives.
It's not an epic symposium and we are not going to cure cancer. No faggots sitting around stroking their chins on the internet will ever amount to anything anyway. The only way to achieve something is by going out and doing it, not hypothesising ad nauseam online.
So kindly kick back and try to let the rest of us enjoy our refuge without fagging it up.
Thank you =]
octafish
+0 -0
What have you done with the real irateturk? Say some thing offensive in all capitals.
What have you done with the real irateturk? Say some thing offensive in all capitals.
omegatron
+1 -0
PARIS HILTON
PARIS HILTON
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that reminds me of a thing i've wanted to do for some time. it is a skit that would be shown on SNL or something making fun of The Electric Company's Soft-Shoe Silhouettes with social satire and things like that such as
da...nger.
Global Warming!
re..scession.
lame.
I...raq--
music stops and actors' faces look at the camera.
Yeah, not even touching this one.
screen slowly fades to silhouettes again, music up...
sl..ut..
Paris Hilton!
end.
that reminds me of a thing i've wanted to do for some time. it is a skit that would be shown on SNL or something making fun of The Electric Company's Soft-Shoe Silhouettes with social satire and things like that such as
da...nger.
Global Warming!
re..scession.
lame.
I...raq--
music stops and actors' faces look at the camera.
Yeah, not even touching this one.
screen slowly fades to silhouettes again, music up...
sl..ut..
Paris Hilton!
end.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I'd like to thank omegatron for the orthographic/geographic double entendre. You just don't see those very often.
I'd like to thank omegatron for the orthographic/geographic double entendre. You just don't see those very often.
utv
+0 -0
Congratulations, feedback loop that's destined to blow the amp and shred the speakers with mediocrity
you are
The Most Tenuous and Inept Metaphor of the Week
Congratulations, feedback loop that's destined to blow the amp and shred the speakers with mediocrity
you are
The Most Tenuous and Inept Metaphor of the Week
puguglypress
+0 -0
you are this week's most tenuous and inept metaphor of the week
you are this week's most tenuous and inept metaphor of the week
utv
+0 -0
of the week
of the week
liver
+0 -0
eek
eek
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oh, AIU...you've done it again!
[IMGS OFF]
Oh, AIU...you've done it again!
[IMGS OFF]
puguglypress
+0 -0
First!
First!
anindexofmetals
+0 -0
Like a Jericho trumpet. In crescendo!
Like a Jericho trumpet. In crescendo!
anindexofmetals
+0 -0
"I've never wanted to talk about a comic strip less in my life"
Anomalous. But conceded.
"I've never wanted to talk about a comic strip less in my life"
Anomalous. But conceded.
tinhand
+0 -0
Too long, didn't read.
Too long, didn't read.
atypicaloracle
+1 -0
Somewhere in the middle I fell asleep, leaned too far forward in my chair and ended up splitting my lip on my desk. There's blood on my keyboard now, Chatty Cathy. Thanks for that.
Somewhere in the middle I fell asleep, leaned too far forward in my chair and ended up splitting my lip on my desk. There's blood on my keyboard now, Chatty Cathy. Thanks for that.
philophobe
+0 -0
Good/paralyzed by inactivity and crippling self-doubt.
Good/paralyzed by inactivity and crippling self-doubt.
stereo
+0 -0
That's somewhat balanced out by reading your own work as what you mean it to say, instead of how a neutral 3rd party would see it. There are ways to reduce the effect but the only effective one is to let someone at it.
That's somewhat balanced out by reading your own work as what you mean it to say, instead of how a neutral 3rd party would see it. There are ways to reduce the effect but the only effective one is to let someone at it.
streever
+0 -0
It's onstad's way of weaseling out.
It's onstad's way of weaseling out.
streever
+0 -0
weasel weasel
weasel weasel
streever
+1 -0
weasel
weasel
streever
+1 -0
I'm done, folks.
I'm done, folks.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Whoa, There Will Be Blood flashback.
Whoa, There Will Be Blood flashback.
streever
+0 -0
I've never seen that movie. I guess I should watch it having subconsciously channeled it!
I've never seen that movie. I guess I should watch it having subconsciously channeled it!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Did you come?
Did you come?
puguglypress
+0 -0
Correct. I wanna cum.
Correct. I wanna cum.
streever
+1 -0
I did what I came to do.
I did what I came to do.
greyfield
+0 -0
I personally have enjoyed this arc. It nicely sets up "Cartilage Head 3: Philippe Proves Himself a Coward Who Would Desert a Dying Man"
I personally have enjoyed this arc. It nicely sets up "Cartilage Head 3: Philippe Proves Himself a Coward Who Would Desert a Dying Man"
stereo
+0 -0
He's got 2 of the 3 cats, he might as well go for the set and prove Pat a coward who would desert a dying man.
He's got 2 of the 3 cats, he might as well go for the set and prove Pat a coward who would desert a dying man.
missbee
+1 -0
Pat is an Asshole who would desert a dying man to go vote for a restriction on the payment of barbers.
Pat is an Asshole who would desert a dying man to go vote for a restriction on the payment of barbers.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Pat got an uneven trim from Bob the Barber, and he's been snippy ever since.
Pat got an uneven trim from Bob the Barber, and he's been snippy ever since.
jinxtigr
+0 -0
But what illusions does Philippe have that aren't already shattered by Lie Bot? I don't think Philippe makes sense at all as a target for Cartilage Head. There would have to be a third and final twist on the concept and I'm not seeing one. CH is not arbitrary.
But what illusions does Philippe have that aren't already shattered by Lie Bot? I don't think Philippe makes sense at all as a target for Cartilage Head. There would have to be a third and final twist on the concept and I'm not seeing one. CH is not arbitrary.
mrj428
+0 -0
Phew-closure
Phew-closure
funcrusherplus
+3 -0
a weird thing made of vegetables
a weird thing made of vegetables
earendil
+1 -0
That is actually only the second most horrible use of claymation in world history. In making a "special edition" episode of Pingu , the creators drank a bit too much absinthe and a horrified generation of Swiss toddlers learned some lessons about interspecies romance which they will never forget.
That is actually only the second most horrible use of claymation in world history. In making a "special edition" episode of Pingu , the creators drank a bit too much absinthe and a horrified generation of Swiss toddlers learned some lessons about interspecies romance which they will never forget.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
Fortunalely, someone encrypted that jpeg into an orgy of weird little characters meeting senseless.
My innocence says: That was a close one!
Fortunalely, someone encrypted that jpeg into an orgy of weird little characters meeting senseless.
My innocence says: That was a close one!
gormster
+0 -0
somebody forgot to Header('file-type: image/jpeg')
somebody forgot to Header('file-type: image/jpeg')
stereo
+1 -0
It works in IE, because IE ignores the server's file-type and displays .jpg as a picture.
It works in IE, because IE ignores the server's file-type and displays .jpg as a picture.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh god, I totally used to watch that. Chubby for delving deep into my mind and pulling that nugget back to the top.
Oh god, I totally used to watch that. Chubby for delving deep into my mind and pulling that nugget back to the top.
gormster
+0 -0
Hang on that's just Pingu feeding a fish to a seal. I think you might be reading too much into this.
Hang on that's just Pingu feeding a fish to a seal. I think you might be reading too much into this.
wazza
+0 -0
That photograph is...
corrupted
That photograph is...
corrupted
thegoblins
+0 -0
Awww, that is charming!
Awww, that is charming!
troy_convers
+1 -0
Another weird vegetable-claymation thingy:
[IMGS OFF]
Thank god they didn't pan down to his cucumber...
Another weird vegetable-claymation thingy:
[IMGS OFF]
Thank god they didn't pan down to his cucumber...
neonfreon
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Pickle Suprise!
[IMGS OFF]
Pickle Suprise!
jonno
+0 -0
A comment left by jonno was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Absurdist, re5urgam, Fedallah)
A comment left by jonno was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Absurdist, re5urgam, Fedallah)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
reminds me of this guy.
[IMGS OFF]
reminds me of this guy.
[IMGS OFF]
srikamaraja
+0 -1
Latin scholars, get on the Magistrate's utterance. I would have thought the wheel and its components spoke Sanskrit.
Latin scholars, get on the Magistrate's utterance. I would have thought the wheel and its components spoke Sanskrit.
i_love_kate
+9 -0
Maybe read the comments before bein' all demandy.
Maybe read the comments before bein' all demandy.
sherief
+0 -0
It all makes sense now! My dissertation is complete.
It all makes sense now! My dissertation is complete.
edwardstark
+0 -0
I'm chewing like the most virtuous puppy.
I'm chewing like the most virtuous puppy.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I now have biblical visions of baby dogs being birthed upon the finest linen towels, and presented with tennis balls to herald their arrival in the world.
I now have biblical visions of baby dogs being birthed upon the finest linen towels, and presented with tennis balls to herald their arrival in the world.
rascaldom
+0 -0
A comment left by rascaldom was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by flaxattack, CygnusX-1, Tigrath, Absurdist, wazza, prettyrad, aHatOfPig, ratnerstar, Irien)
A comment left by rascaldom was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by flaxattack, CygnusX-1, Tigrath, Absurdist, wazza, prettyrad, aHatOfPig, ratnerstar, Irien)
boscostacy
+0 -0
A comment left by boscostacy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, chivalress, puguglypress)
A comment left by boscostacy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, chivalress, puguglypress)
trevor328
+5 -1
IDEA: Taste my nasty asshole.
IDEA: Taste my nasty asshole.
backdraft
+7 -0
IKEA: Swedish flat pack furniture retailer.
IKEA: Swedish flat pack furniture retailer.
gormster
+0 -0
KIA: South Korean car manufacturer.
KIA: South Korean car manufacturer.
stereo
+0 -0
NOKIA: Phone and related product manufacturer.
NOKIA: Phone and related product manufacturer.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
KIA & MIA- a moment of silence for the Ghoul Gurlz.
Jesus there's a goth band name
KIA & MIA- a moment of silence for the Ghoul Gurlz.
Jesus there's a goth band name
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
thank god 'goth' is 'outre'
thank god 'goth' is 'outre'
smilebuddha
+5 -0
MAMMA MIA! : Film starring Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep about a Peruvian death cult.
MAMMA MIA! : Film starring Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep about a Peruvian death cult.
wazza
+0 -0
Tia Maria : a coffee liqueur made originally in Jamaica using Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee beans
Tia Maria : a coffee liqueur made originally in Jamaica using Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee beans
bluemoon72
+11 -0
Tila Tequila: a coffee-colored liquor pig made originally in Vietnam with two fake mountains and an overused bean.
Tila Tequila: a coffee-colored liquor pig made originally in Vietnam with two fake mountains and an overused bean.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
oh snaaaaaap! that was the most amazing, beautiful burn i ever read!!!!!!!!! simply calling her a 'talentless whore-slut' will never suffice, ever again.
oh snaaaaaap! that was the most amazing, beautiful burn i ever read!!!!!!!!! simply calling her a 'talentless whore-slut' will never suffice, ever again.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Bluemoon, I love you.
Bluemoon, I love you.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Let's go to the car, thegoblins.
Let's go to the car, thegoblins.
puguglypress
+0 -0
WHY does that JERK get all the girls??
WHY does that JERK get all the girls??
thegoblins
+0 -0
Yaaaay, we'll be parked for houuuuurs
Yaaaay, we'll be parked for houuuuurs
greenkoolayd
+2 -0
if the cars a-rockin, im nowhere near being involved in the action.
if the cars a-rockin, im nowhere near being involved in the action.
mensch
+1 -0
If the cars a-rockin, Chester 5000 has thrown a bearing.
If the cars a-rockin, Chester 5000 has thrown a bearing.
atypicaloracle
+0 -0
No mere chubby could possibly suffice. I... I want to have this comment's children.
No mere chubby could possibly suffice. I... I want to have this comment's children.
pppoa
+3 -1
I've no problem with long, intricate strips, and I'm happy with one or two strips a week, but the only parts of this whole arc I really liked were the one-liners. Maybe I've gotten jaded, but for me this strip exemplifies the inelegance of the whole. It's not particularly bad, but the storytelling has suffered...
Disclaimer: This is not to say that I don't respect Onstad or continue to enjoy the strip. However, I would give a lot to see it return to its former glory.
I've no problem with long, intricate strips, and I'm happy with one or two strips a week, but the only parts of this whole arc I really liked were the one-liners. Maybe I've gotten jaded, but for me this strip exemplifies the inelegance of the whole. It's not particularly bad, but the storytelling has suffered...
Disclaimer: This is not to say that I don't respect Onstad or continue to enjoy the strip. However, I would give a lot to see it return to its former glory.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
It probably doesn't help that this arc came on the heels of the Wales arc, which also lasted a long time and got a more mixed reception overall than this arc did.
It probably doesn't help that this arc came on the heels of the Wales arc, which also lasted a long time and got a more mixed reception overall than this arc did.
achtung
+0 -0
A comment left by achtung was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, mintyhelminthes, atypicaloracle, thing)
A comment left by achtung was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, mintyhelminthes, atypicaloracle, thing)
johnmatrix
+0 -0
You presume too much. First, 4 months is a very arbitrary amount of time. By then, people probably wouldn't care about the arc either way. Next, Achewood has traditionally had an extremely positive fanbase. This isn't the sort of place where the people would suddenly decide one day that the strip isn't as good as it used to be, it would be, and was, a gradual process.
Also, how is pointing out all of the loose ends hyper-scrutinizing? And how is reading the whole arc, waiting for the arc to end, and then evaluating the arc "opinion making without any context"?
You presume too much. First, 4 months is a very arbitrary amount of time. By then, people probably wouldn't care about the arc either way. Next, Achewood has traditionally had an extremely positive fanbase. This isn't the sort of place where the people would suddenly decide one day that the strip isn't as good as it used to be, it would be, and was, a gradual process.
Also, how is pointing out all of the loose ends hyper-scrutinizing? And how is reading the whole arc, waiting for the arc to end, and then evaluating the arc "opinion making without any context"?
granularsilica
+0 -0
It may interest you to know that Assetbar didn't exist for about the first year of the strip, then there was a gold rush of comments back in time. Those are some of the most interesting. IDEA: Strip all the comments and start over!
It may interest you to know that Assetbar didn't exist for about the first year of the strip, then there was a gold rush of comments back in time. Those are some of the most interesting. IDEA: Strip all the comments and start over!
achtung
+0 -1
^what i'm talkin about
^what i'm talkin about
johnmatrix
+1 -0
So you think that all of the comments should just be erased? All of the funny and insightful comments that have been posted over the years just be taken out? That's ridiculous.
Sometimes people just dislike something. You don't need to come up with a convoluted reason as to how they only "think" they dislike it.
So you think that all of the comments should just be erased? All of the funny and insightful comments that have been posted over the years just be taken out? That's ridiculous.
Sometimes people just dislike something. You don't need to come up with a convoluted reason as to how they only "think" they dislike it.
jinxtigr
+3 -0
I respectfully disagree. I just agree that it's obscure and difficult, but isn't that half the fun?
CH's accusations of cowardice are actually the stripping away of illusions. For Ray, it was the illusion that he's a stone-cool mack-daddy good person hero of the day. He was a coward who deserted a 'dying man'. For Beef, the illusion was that he romanced death and wished himself dead. He's morbid, but his curiosity and desire to fix broken stuff ruled the day, and the dying man he abandoned was himself, making it a nifty twist on the Cartilage Head routine, and putting CH in an interesting position as the Zen Master of performance-art mind-fuckery. He apparently does it to people for their own good, to wake them up about their own unhelpful assumptions about themselves.
I respectfully disagree. I just agree that it's obscure and difficult, but isn't that half the fun?
CH's accusations of cowardice are actually the stripping away of illusions. For Ray, it was the illusion that he's a stone-cool mack-daddy good person hero of the day. He was a coward who deserted a 'dying man'. For Beef, the illusion was that he romanced death and wished himself dead. He's morbid, but his curiosity and desire to fix broken stuff ruled the day, and the dying man he abandoned was himself, making it a nifty twist on the Cartilage Head routine, and putting CH in an interesting position as the Zen Master of performance-art mind-fuckery. He apparently does it to people for their own good, to wake them up about their own unhelpful assumptions about themselves.
liver
+0 -0
this is the most coherent explanation of CH yet. It may not be CH's intent but it certainly is the effect he has had. thanks for pointing this out.
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbcvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv0----------------------------ppppget off my fucking keyboard cat!!!!
this is the most coherent explanation of CH yet. It may not be CH's intent but it certainly is the effect he has had. thanks for pointing this out.
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbcvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv0----------------------------ppppget off my fucking keyboard cat!!!!
bluemoon72
+0 -0
cpnglyxnchos, would you kindly 'shop us up a "fucking keyboard cat"?
cpnglyxnchos, would you kindly 'shop us up a "fucking keyboard cat"?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i didn't know which way you meant it, so here.
[IMGS OFF]
and
[IMGS OFF]
...
i didn't know which way you meant it, so here.
[IMGS OFF]
and
[IMGS OFF]
...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and in hindsight, i mixed those first two words up.
oh the hilarity.
and in hindsight, i mixed those first two words up.
oh the hilarity.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I meant the former, and it is good.
I meant the former, and it is good.
rascaldom
+10 -0
To clarify a little bit concerning my previous suggestions, I don't want every punchline to be "...boned?", but there is a beauty in that simplicity, and I think it's a greater beauty than that created by these huge grandiose plots. My favorite part about achewood has always been how realistically the characters interact, and even though that genuineness is still there, it seems overshadowed by all the circumstances coming down upon them. Even the zanier plots of yore, like Lazarus Loafer or Ray in Hell are all tied down by the characters' involvement and reasonableness throughout it all. What the hell was this? Elephant costumes (lol so randum XD)? Wheel of Karma? Lash of Thanatos? The characters seemed secondary to all the Big Things happening, when they should be the ones drving the action and plot. Ray in Hell had a hilarious and satisfying conclusion, making the wait worth it. This storyline meandered forever, and the conclusion is basically calling us all nit-picking geeks for wanting a more thorough explanation. Shorter strips allow them to run more frequently, which keeps the story moving and interest high, and shorter strips and story arcs are just naturally more satisfying. A short strip, at best, is a perfectly executed rimshot, but long strips are just rimshots preceded by a drumroll. It becomes harder for it to end satisfyingly and gracefully and make it all worth it. And I don't necessarily want all of them to be funny, but if they aren't funny, at least have them be for the sake of character development.
To clarify a little bit concerning my previous suggestions, I don't want every punchline to be "...boned?", but there is a beauty in that simplicity, and I think it's a greater beauty than that created by these huge grandiose plots. My favorite part about achewood has always been how realistically the characters interact, and even though that genuineness is still there, it seems overshadowed by all the circumstances coming down upon them. Even the zanier plots of yore, like Lazarus Loafer or Ray in Hell are all tied down by the characters' involvement and reasonableness throughout it all. What the hell was this? Elephant costumes (lol so randum XD)? Wheel of Karma? Lash of Thanatos? The characters seemed secondary to all the Big Things happening, when they should be the ones drving the action and plot. Ray in Hell had a hilarious and satisfying conclusion, making the wait worth it. This storyline meandered forever, and the conclusion is basically calling us all nit-picking geeks for wanting a more thorough explanation. Shorter strips allow them to run more frequently, which keeps the story moving and interest high, and shorter strips and story arcs are just naturally more satisfying. A short strip, at best, is a perfectly executed rimshot, but long strips are just rimshots preceded by a drumroll. It becomes harder for it to end satisfyingly and gracefully and make it all worth it. And I don't necessarily want all of them to be funny, but if they aren't funny, at least have them be for the sake of character development.
puguglypress
+0 -0
After all the built-up tension of not knowing whether Beef was going to get killed or not, "man fuck that guy" was one of the most cathartic laughs this strip has delivered.
After all the built-up tension of not knowing whether Beef was going to get killed or not, "man fuck that guy" was one of the most cathartic laughs this strip has delivered.
granularsilica
+1 -0
A simple solution would be for Chris to post one "strip" a day of these longer pieces.
A simple solution would be for Chris to post one "strip" a day of these longer pieces.
grayfox
+0 -0
A comment left by grayfox was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by UncleRifle, Deusoma, mintyhelminthes, rascaldom, cakeofpan, Fedallah, mystkmanat, wtfoxnews)
A comment left by grayfox was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by UncleRifle, Deusoma, mintyhelminthes, rascaldom, cakeofpan, Fedallah, mystkmanat, wtfoxnews)
ninjamike
+0 -0
Saying 'bitches' repeatedly doesn't make you not look like a tool. Just so you know.
Saying 'bitches' repeatedly doesn't make you not look like a tool. Just so you know.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
bitches aint nuttin' but hos and tricks, because they lick up on your balls, etc...
bitches aint nuttin' but hos and tricks, because they lick up on your balls, etc...
wazza
+0 -0
the original or the Ben Folds cover?
the original or the Ben Folds cover?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
richard cheese
richard cheese
troy_convers
+0 -0
You haven't heard 'Insane In The Brian' until you've heard his version... then again maybe not.
You haven't heard 'Insane In The Brian' until you've heard his version... then again maybe not.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i was actually kidding, but i have heard ricardo quesos cover of 'insane in the brain'. its funny, but just as annoying as the original.
i was actually kidding, but i have heard ricardo quesos cover of 'insane in the brain'. its funny, but just as annoying as the original.
jaspers
+0 -0
Bitches ain't shit but good people.
Bitches ain't shit but good people.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
thank you for that startling revelation.
thank you for that startling revelation.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
gladi8orrex
+5 -0
why do my palms get sweaty whenever i
why do my palms get sweaty whenever i
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Type? Lift weights? Think of Megan Fox?
Type? Lift weights? Think of Megan Fox?
puguglypress
+3 -0
Oh man I wish glad's comment was BEFORE "the more you know", like he suddenly got cut off by NBC before he said something vulgar
Oh man I wish glad's comment was BEFORE "the more you know", like he suddenly got cut off by NBC before he said something vulgar
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
megan fox? pfft. overrated.
megan fox? pfft. overrated.
puguglypress
+0 -0
She'd be great in one of those romance novels for actual idiots.
She'd be great in one of those romance novels for actual idiots.
thegoblins
+9 -0
Goodbye my friends, it's time to die.
[IMGS OFF]
Goodbye my friends, it's time to die.
[IMGS OFF]
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
" bitch virgin seductress everywoman mommy cowgirl " is truly the limit! youre a hot piece of brain.
" bitch virgin seductress everywoman mommy cowgirl " is truly the limit! youre a hot piece of brain.
mensch
+0 -0
Quote:
Is that akin to food for actual hungry people ?
Quote:
romance novels for actual idiots
Is that akin to food for actual hungry people ?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I love how the valley between her hair and back is shaped like a big ol' dildo.
I love how the valley between her hair and back is shaped like a big ol' dildo.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Holy shit, a hair dildo is not what I want to contemplate this morning.
Holy shit, a hair dildo is not what I want to contemplate this morning.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Or afternoon. Perhaps I need to start waking the fuck up.
Or afternoon. Perhaps I need to start waking the fuck up.
greatjob
+1 -0
That is not sweat.
That is not sweat.
zedpower
+19 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
well what about THIS guy??
[IMGS OFF]
well what about THIS guy??
[IMGS OFF]
miaou
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
octafish
+0 -0
Wait... is that the Tom Hanks suburbia film with Bruce Dern, what was it called... The 'Burbs?
Wait... is that the Tom Hanks suburbia film with Bruce Dern, what was it called... The 'Burbs?
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
that, my friend, is a furnace.
that, my friend, is a furnace.
9
+3 -1
well it's a picture of a furnace. It's not actually a furnace. ;-)
well it's a picture of a furnace. It's not actually a furnace. ;-)
jonno
+0 -0
Chubbied for clarification.
Chubbied for clarification.
mensch
+2 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
liver
+1 -0
spicyponyhead meant to link to this image, but the bastards have hotlinking disabled...
[IMGS OFF]
spicyponyhead meant to link to this image, but the bastards have hotlinking disabled...
[IMGS OFF]
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Chubbied for picking up my slack, good sir. That's what I get for hotlinking an image!
Chubbied for picking up my slack, good sir. That's what I get for hotlinking an image!
cpnglxynchos
+1 -1
shut up.
shut up.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
I thought it was the furnace that scared the shit out of Maculay Culkin in Home Alone.
I thought it was the furnace that scared the shit out of Maculay Culkin in Home Alone.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ding.
ding.
ding.
we have a winner.
ding.
ding.
ding.
we have a winner.
stereo
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
miaou
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
NO
FUCK
I CAN'T UNSEE IT
NO
FUCK
I CAN'T UNSEE IT
zombiezero
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
I will never look at this road sign the same way ever again.
I will never look at this road sign the same way ever again.
zombiezero
+0 -0
Now and forever, when you and your car approach the end of a median, that sign will make you think of Cartilage Head.
Man fuck that guy
Now and forever, when you and your car approach the end of a median, that sign will make you think of Cartilage Head.
Man fuck that guy
maximus
+0 -0
That was Eraserhead
That was Eraserhead
duck
+0 -0
I also thought this.
I also thought this.
comrade_tom
+0 -1
Onstad you son of a bitch.
Looks like that asshole did it again, wrapping up a confusing and frustrating arc with some A-grade mysticism, some great callbacks to earlier strips and some bedazzling showmanship.
Bravo, you incorrigible sod, you.
Onstad you son of a bitch.
Looks like that asshole did it again, wrapping up a confusing and frustrating arc with some A-grade mysticism, some great callbacks to earlier strips and some bedazzling showmanship.
Bravo, you incorrigible sod, you.
wozzeck
+0 -0
My only criticism is that, for all appearances, Ray and Teodor were in the car that Ray hit.
My only criticism is that, for all appearances, Ray and Teodor were in the car that Ray hit.
theirateturk
+0 -0
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by 21echoes, fakead, Absurdist, cmr, Lynnym, earendil)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by 21echoes, fakead, Absurdist, cmr, Lynnym, earendil)
aperson
+0 -0
Okay don't do this. Just don't.
Okay don't do this. Just don't.
aperson
+0 -2
(You're right, of course, t.i.t. It's just too controversial a subject for assetbar)
(You're right, of course, t.i.t. It's just too controversial a subject for assetbar)
avienieu
+0 -0
irate turk! [stern look] you should not make prejudiced generalizations about cats, dogs, and people who own cats and dogs. Do you own a gerbil? I bet you don't. Because it sounds like you could really use a gerbil...
irate turk! [stern look] you should not make prejudiced generalizations about cats, dogs, and people who own cats and dogs. Do you own a gerbil? I bet you don't. Because it sounds like you could really use a gerbil...
poorochondriac
+1 -0
Incredible douchebags responsible for approximately 40% of the videos on YouTube.
Incredible douchebags responsible for approximately 40% of the videos on YouTube.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Ironically, the sentence for being an incredible douchebag in most states is just regular death.
Ironically, the sentence for being an incredible douchebag in most states is just regular death.
poorochondriac
+0 -0
Unfortunate, that the comment I was responding to has been lamed away. My post is now a punchline without a setup. A dreary soul on these "internets" we call home, pangs of loss haunting it like a phantom limb.
Soon, it will turn to drinking. Hoping the solution to the emptiness it feels will lie at the bottom of the next bottle, or perhaps the one after that. It will grow tired of interactions with happy people, finding such meetings to be nothing more than reminders of a former, now-unattainable life.
My comment will fall out of favor with its friends and family, as they one by one recognize it as a lost cause and give up on trying to pull it from despair. My comment will be unsurprised, as this will only confirm its inescapable self-doubts.
My comment will contemplate suicide, but will decide against it when it realizes that no one would mourn its passing.
Unfortunate, that the comment I was responding to has been lamed away. My post is now a punchline without a setup. A dreary soul on these "internets" we call home, pangs of loss haunting it like a phantom limb.
Soon, it will turn to drinking. Hoping the solution to the emptiness it feels will lie at the bottom of the next bottle, or perhaps the one after that. It will grow tired of interactions with happy people, finding such meetings to be nothing more than reminders of a former, now-unattainable life.
My comment will fall out of favor with its friends and family, as they one by one recognize it as a lost cause and give up on trying to pull it from despair. My comment will be unsurprised, as this will only confirm its inescapable self-doubts.
My comment will contemplate suicide, but will decide against it when it realizes that no one would mourn its passing.
puguglypress
+1 -0
First!
First!
wazza
+0 -0
most assetbarians have set their lame threshold higher than 3
most assetbarians have set their lame threshold higher than 3
theirateturk
+0 -0
most assetbarbarians know that it's assetbarbarians
most assetbarbarians know that it's assetbarbarians
partial_loser
+1 -0
Dog eats dead master and his wife
Dog eats dead master and his wife
8
+0 -0
all right now that's what I'm talking about. We should find that dog and have a BBQ and feed the dog's brains to theirateturk.
here you go motherfucker! here's your species that never eats humans! EAT IT MOTHERFUCKER!!!
all right now that's what I'm talking about. We should find that dog and have a BBQ and feed the dog's brains to theirateturk.
here you go motherfucker! here's your species that never eats humans! EAT IT MOTHERFUCKER!!!
9
+0 -2
no shit! For that matter, we need to strap theirateturk down to the picnic table with duct tape and give him a tansfusion of the dog's blood...
how do you like it now IRATETURK you've got dog cannibal blood flowing in you how do you like that!!!
and then we need to give him a catheter and inject his bladder with dog cannibal piss:
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT IRATETURK NOW YOU CAN PISS THE PISS OF THE DOG WHO ATE HUMANS!!!!
That's what irateturk deserves. nothing less. Anyone got his home address?
no shit! For that matter, we need to strap theirateturk down to the picnic table with duct tape and give him a tansfusion of the dog's blood...
how do you like it now IRATETURK you've got dog cannibal blood flowing in you how do you like that!!!
and then we need to give him a catheter and inject his bladder with dog cannibal piss:
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT IRATETURK NOW YOU CAN PISS THE PISS OF THE DOG WHO ATE HUMANS!!!!
That's what irateturk deserves. nothing less. Anyone got his home address?
wazza
+1 -0
35 Hsu-Giang Road
Guangding Prefecture 5070
Szechuan Province
35 Hsu-Giang Road
Guangding Prefecture 5070
Szechuan Province
all-star951
+0 -0
Dude... Are you high?
Dude... Are you high?
theirateturk
+0 -1
Every fucking time some stupid putz finds the fucking Daily Mail article.
You want my partner to kiss your ass?
Would that be good enough for you?
Every fucking time some stupid putz finds the fucking Daily Mail article.
You want my partner to kiss your ass?
Would that be good enough for you?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Yeah, I lamed a Barton Fink quote. Your fault for whipping it out so randomly and awkward like.
Yeah, I lamed a Barton Fink quote. Your fault for whipping it out so randomly and awkward like.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Ahem, that's what ...
Quote:
Your fault for whipping it out so randomly and awkward like.
Ahem, that's what ...
davey-boy
+0 -0
...I just said.
...I just said.
jonno
+0 -0
You'd have done the same.
You'd have done the same.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I'd rather eat my cunt than cite the Daily Mail as anything other than a source of amusement for me to belittle.
I'd rather eat my cunt than cite the Daily Mail as anything other than a source of amusement for me to belittle.
thegoblins
+1 -0
I'd rather eat my cunt than do a good many things! But only if I had sort of highly specialized vertebrae.
I'd rather eat my cunt than do a good many things! But only if I had sort of highly specialized vertebrae.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
You could out-source.
You could out-source.
wazza
+0 -0
I often eat things other people can't eat by themselves... may I volunteer my services?
I often eat things other people can't eat by themselves... may I volunteer my services?
thegoblins
+0 -0
You don't want to volunteer to eat e-kitty. You have no idea what lurks within. A word of advice!
You don't want to volunteer to eat e-kitty. You have no idea what lurks within. A word of advice!
fineoakstructure
+0 -1
tit is the only sensible man left
tit is the only sensible man left
emosexy
+0 -0
It's true though. Any guy I dated had a cat and they were douchebags with mother issues and social/emotional problems. Then again, maybe I just attract douchebags. But! They had cats.
I love cats though, but I think it's less creepy when women have cats.
It's true though. Any guy I dated had a cat and they were douchebags with mother issues and social/emotional problems. Then again, maybe I just attract douchebags. But! They had cats.
I love cats though, but I think it's less creepy when women have cats.
wazza
+0 -0
what about when gay men have cats? My gay flatmate has a cat. It keeps on sleeping on my black furry blanket and getting sat on.
what about when gay men have cats? My gay flatmate has a cat. It keeps on sleeping on my black furry blanket and getting sat on.
octafish
+0 -0
Is that some kinda innuendo?
Is that some kinda innuendo?
wazza
+0 -0
no. You'd think this cat would figure out to make a noise or something when I come in the room.
no. You'd think this cat would figure out to make a noise or something when I come in the room.
9
+0 -0
maybe the cat is got a sort of sado-machoistic sorta personality? is he/she 'fixed?' That might help. Or it could make things worse. It really depends on the individual.
maybe the cat is got a sort of sado-machoistic sorta personality? is he/she 'fixed?' That might help. Or it could make things worse. It really depends on the individual.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Maybe the cat is dead and no one told wazza.
Maybe the cat is dead and no one told wazza.
thegoblins
+0 -0
"The cat is dead and no one told wazza" would be a pretty good children's song.
"The cat is dead and no one told wazza" would be a pretty good children's song.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
the cat lay very still
on wazza's bed one fine day,
la la la la la-
we sat on the cat
just to see what it'd say
la la la la la-
we swing the cat round
by its tail, it don't yowl-
la la la la la...
we walled the cat up
with a bricklayer's trowel
la la la la la
the cat lay very still
on wazza's bed one fine day,
la la la la la-
we sat on the cat
just to see what it'd say
la la la la la-
we swing the cat round
by its tail, it don't yowl-
la la la la la...
we walled the cat up
with a bricklayer's trowel
la la la la la
wazza
+0 -0
they used to do that in old buildings. I saw one in Denmark once, all mummified...
they used to do that in old buildings. I saw one in Denmark once, all mummified...
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I'm going to Denmark next week! Copenhagen mostly, perhaps a trip to Roskilde or Helsignor, or my favorite Danish fishing village, Dragor. (Pronounced draw-wer, apparently; those crazy Danes.)
I'm going to Denmark next week! Copenhagen mostly, perhaps a trip to Roskilde or Helsignor, or my favorite Danish fishing village, Dragor. (Pronounced draw-wer, apparently; those crazy Danes.)
thegoblins
+0 -0
I have a friend who is there RIGHT NOW! Have fun darling!
I have a friend who is there RIGHT NOW! Have fun darling!
wazza
+0 -0
drink a bottle of Odense Pilsner for me?
Man, I miss that beer. It was cheaper than your mum, but drinkable.
drink a bottle of Odense Pilsner for me?
Man, I miss that beer. It was cheaper than your mum, but drinkable.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Certainly! Although it can be difficult to find a place that isn't a straight Carlsberg or Tuborg shop.
Certainly! Although it can be difficult to find a place that isn't a straight Carlsberg or Tuborg shop.
aarongstock
+9 -0
You mean his 1973 Honda Civic that I...
...T-boned?
[one in a multi-authored series]
You mean his 1973 Honda Civic that I...
...T-boned?
[one in a multi-authored series]
agentcimorene
+7 -0
My favorite part of the "...boned" comic is that it's dramatic in a way I am familiar with. I was baby sitting a slew of children and the youngest at three tugged on my sleeve when we were all eating pizza and the other children were distracted.
He said to me, "Casey, did you know people are made out of *pauses and glances around and lowers his voice* booones?" I smiled and told him yes, yes I did and he just nodded solemnly glancing at the others at the table who had no idea.
Years later I was baby sitting him and his older siblings who were doing homework as I was. All of a sudden something is vibrating on my back and it's the little boy. I go, "Where did you find this back massager? You're so nice for giving me a back rub!" and he said "Mommy keeps it in her drawer I'm not allowed in!" I had to quietly and discreetly lead him back to his parents room where thankfully the "back massager" was the only thing disturbed. I did not look in the drawer I just made sure he put it back.
My favorite part of the "...boned" comic is that it's dramatic in a way I am familiar with. I was baby sitting a slew of children and the youngest at three tugged on my sleeve when we were all eating pizza and the other children were distracted.
He said to me, "Casey, did you know people are made out of *pauses and glances around and lowers his voice* booones?" I smiled and told him yes, yes I did and he just nodded solemnly glancing at the others at the table who had no idea.
Years later I was baby sitting him and his older siblings who were doing homework as I was. All of a sudden something is vibrating on my back and it's the little boy. I go, "Where did you find this back massager? You're so nice for giving me a back rub!" and he said "Mommy keeps it in her drawer I'm not allowed in!" I had to quietly and discreetly lead him back to his parents room where thankfully the "back massager" was the only thing disturbed. I did not look in the drawer I just made sure he put it back.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
your babysitting stories.
dang.
your babysitting stories.
dang.
farqussus
+4 -0
maybe she should start a club
maybe she should start a club
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
baha
baha
avienieu
+2 -1
that is pretty ballsy of the kid to try to get Morene in the mood with a dildo massage. Smart kid. Can't go wrong. Worst thing that happens is you have to pretend that you don't know what a dildo is. It's so out there it just might work...
that is pretty ballsy of the kid to try to get Morene in the mood with a dildo massage. Smart kid. Can't go wrong. Worst thing that happens is you have to pretend that you don't know what a dildo is. It's so out there it just might work...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the plan was simple, like Uncle Phil. but unlike Phil, this plan just might work .
the plan was simple, like Uncle Phil. but unlike Phil, this plan just might work .
dusty
+0 -0
Unfortunately most of the time that just gets a woman in the mood to use her vibrator. *Sigh*
Unfortunately most of the time that just gets a woman in the mood to use her vibrator. *Sigh*
stereo
+0 -0
It'll never fly.
It'll never fly.
philophobe
+0 -0
Usually they're more of a submarine kinda thing, if we want to get all sex-toys-as-modes-of-transportation metaphoric.
Usually they're more of a submarine kinda thing, if we want to get all sex-toys-as-modes-of-transportation metaphoric.
thegoblins
+0 -0
They did have special bags of toys to take to people's houses, after all. WHY DO I KNOW THAT
They did have special bags of toys to take to people's houses, after all. WHY DO I KNOW THAT
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
also, you totally looked in the drawer. you just don't want to tell us that.
also, you totally looked in the drawer. you just don't want to tell us that.
hamscout
+0 -0
After my grandmother died, my mother flew in from out of state to help her brothers clear out their parent's house. While cleaning, they found my grandmother's device , made the appropriate uncomfortable jokes, and disposed of it.
When my mother left town, she had to change her plane ticket, which prompted a random luggage search in a separate room, with my mother watching from the other side of a fence. Inside my mother's luggage, beyond the several pounds of cheese curds she was taking home (local delicacy), they found the device , which my uncle had surreptitiously stowed in there when she wasn't looking.
The cheese made it home. The device was now TSA property.
After my grandmother died, my mother flew in from out of state to help her brothers clear out their parent's house. While cleaning, they found my grandmother's device , made the appropriate uncomfortable jokes, and disposed of it.
When my mother left town, she had to change her plane ticket, which prompted a random luggage search in a separate room, with my mother watching from the other side of a fence. Inside my mother's luggage, beyond the several pounds of cheese curds she was taking home (local delicacy), they found the device , which my uncle had surreptitiously stowed in there when she wasn't looking.
The cheese made it home. The device was now TSA property.
9
+0 -0
Clarification may be needed... the TSA doesn't seize dildos... although this being America you never know... so.. they gave it to the TSA? And the TSA obliged them? You can just dump unwanted stuff on the TSA? what happened exactly?
Clarification may be needed... the TSA doesn't seize dildos... although this being America you never know... so.. they gave it to the TSA? And the TSA obliged them? You can just dump unwanted stuff on the TSA? what happened exactly?
granularsilica
+0 -0
Seize my dildo. (New expression)
Seize my dildo. (New expression)
9
+1 -0
ran out of ky and the dildo seized
ran out of ky and the dildo seized
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Seize Megan Fox's hair dildo.
Seize Megan Fox's hair dildo.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
(even newer expression)
(even newer expression)
thegoblins
+0 -0
There's no way cheese could be used as an explosive device. How could something so beautiful be used for evil?
There's no way cheese could be used as an explosive device. How could something so beautiful be used for evil?
srikamaraja
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
And people go starving...
And people go starving...
octafish
+1 -0
That is not cheese, that isn't even food.
That is not cheese, that isn't even food.
wazza
+0 -0
It only just misses, by way of colour, being classed as tile-grout.
It only just misses, by way of colour, being classed as tile-grout.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh, Velveeta, we hate your guts.
oh, Velveeta, we hate your guts.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and you hate ours, too.
and you hate ours, too.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well done, my little lad.
Well done, my little lad.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Good ol' Wisconsin, my home. Note the girth on the cheese carver -- now you know where all the carvings went!
Good ol' Wisconsin, my home. Note the girth on the cheese carver -- now you know where all the carvings went!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i was born just south of that border, and i gotta say...
cheese curds, man.
cheese curds.
i was born just south of that border, and i gotta say...
cheese curds, man.
cheese curds.
lynnym
+2 -2
Am I allowed to think that this is awful?
God, it's really awful.
I think this is the only shitty thing on Achewood.
..."I don't know about you, but I don't know about tostadas anymore"
Am I allowed to think that this is awful?
God, it's really awful.
I think this is the only shitty thing on Achewood.
..."I don't know about you, but I don't know about tostadas anymore"
theirateturk
+5 -0
You are allowed to think whatever you wish. (You moron)
You are allowed to think whatever you wish. (You moron)
lynnym
+0 -0
ah man you got me there
ah man you got me there
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Dude, uncool. You know Lynnym is pretty sensitive about her moronicness.
Dude, uncool. You know Lynnym is pretty sensitive about her moronicness.
puguglypress
+1 -0
I'll marry you if I can have your pen!
I'll marry you if I can have your pen!
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Dang, we a bunch of crazy marriage-headed kooks 'round here. nachos and the gobs all betrothed, you and ILK...but wait... your name is not Kate.
On another topic, watch for the new NBC fall premiere of "Nachos and the Gobs" at 8, 7 Central, starting September 22.
Dang, we a bunch of crazy marriage-headed kooks 'round here. nachos and the gobs all betrothed, you and ILK...but wait... your name is not Kate.
On another topic, watch for the new NBC fall premiere of "Nachos and the Gobs" at 8, 7 Central, starting September 22.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that's not my name [clap-clap]
that's not my name [clap-clap]
that's not my name [clap-clap]
that's not my name [clap-clap]
bluemoon72
+1 -0
Yeah, I know. But without you having had posted on this page yet, and with me being way too lazy to look it up on a previous page, that was the best I could do...Stacy.
Yeah, I know. But without you having had posted on this page yet, and with me being way too lazy to look it up on a previous page, that was the best I could do...Stacy.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
what's next, ' her '?
what's next, ' her '?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Yes, and then Jane of course.
Yes, and then Jane of course.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
of course.
of course.
puguglypress
+0 -0
(this was also true.)
(this was also true.)
octafish
+0 -0
Ting Tings chubby...
Ting Tings chubby...
farqussus
+0 -0
I am weighing up whether to lame you for your chubby, but that would be lame in itself. Rather I will say unto thee, BOO TO THAT
I am weighing up whether to lame you for your chubby, but that would be lame in itself. Rather I will say unto thee, BOO TO THAT
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I BOO IT AS HIS FATHER.
I BOO IT AS HIS FATHER.
stereo
+0 -0
If you don't like it, tell us yer bloody name.
If you don't like it, tell us yer bloody name.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
back in Kindergarten, there was a song you had to sing with all your classmates. t'was by dude named Hap Palmer (i just looked it up.) basically about how people need to know each others' names, and the dude would go like, 'what is your name? my name is...' and pause, where you're supposed to go up to the mic and say your name before he goes 'what is your name' again.
oh, the memories.
back in Kindergarten, there was a song you had to sing with all your classmates. t'was by dude named Hap Palmer (i just looked it up.) basically about how people need to know each others' names, and the dude would go like, 'what is your name? my name is...' and pause, where you're supposed to go up to the mic and say your name before he goes 'what is your name' again.
oh, the memories.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
A sneak peek at Nachos and the Gobs, premiering September 22 at 8/7 Central, only on NBC :
[IMGS OFF]
(seriously the best looking plate of nachos i've seen in recent history. dang do i want some guac now.)
A sneak peek at Nachos and the Gobs, premiering September 22 at 8/7 Central, only on NBC :
[IMGS OFF]
(seriously the best looking plate of nachos i've seen in recent history. dang do i want some guac now.)
greatjob
+0 -0
Chaaaarlie.
Chaaaarlie.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...i am the Banana King!
...i am the Banana King!
philophobe
+0 -0
I don't know, man, a lot of people are calling bullshit on those black olives.
I don't know, man, a lot of people are calling bullshit on those black olives.
thegoblins
+0 -0
eff you, man! Black olives are the best! How could you think they're the... pits?
eff you, man! Black olives are the best! How could you think they're the... pits?
philophobe
+0 -0
Y'know, I have to admit I spent a good several minutes trying to figure out some kind of pun on 'pimento', even though I know we're dealing with black olives here.
Eventually, I decided it wasn't worth my... brine ?
Y'know, I have to admit I spent a good several minutes trying to figure out some kind of pun on 'pimento', even though I know we're dealing with black olives here.
Eventually, I decided it wasn't worth my... brine ?
thegoblins
+1 -0
Sorry to get jalapeno face about your choice of nacho toppings.
Sorry to get jalapeno face about your choice of nacho toppings.
philophobe
+0 -0
All is forgiven. I know how the passions flare over such matters as snack food accoutrements.
In other news: 'jalapeno face' sounds like a racial epithet of the future, and I am excited to have been here for its christening.
All is forgiven. I know how the passions flare over such matters as snack food accoutrements.
In other news: 'jalapeno face' sounds like a racial epithet of the future, and I am excited to have been here for its christening.
thegoblins
+0 -0
LOVE YOU
LOVE YOU
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
LOVE YOU TOO
(i think.)
LOVE YOU TOO
(i think.)
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I knew it, I knew it! <3 <3 <3 *glee*
I knew it, I knew it! <3 <3 <3 *glee*
thegoblins
+0 -0
I WANT TO SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE WITH YOU
LOOK OUT FOR THE BLEHBLEHBLEH
I WANT TO SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE WITH YOU
LOOK OUT FOR THE BLEHBLEHBLEH
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i read this as 'i want to spend my whole life without you'
...it was kinda funny?
i read this as 'i want to spend my whole life without you'
...it was kinda funny?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Siiiiigh. I was just alluding to the same abomination you were.
Siiiiigh. I was just alluding to the same abomination you were.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no, i mean my mis-read.
..it was funny, to me, at least.
will you...*gets on one knee*
...take out the trash..?
(i will do this when i formally propose the first time..and then immediately go 'i mean,')
marry me?
no, i mean my mis-read.
..it was funny, to me, at least.
will you...*gets on one knee*
...take out the trash..?
(i will do this when i formally propose the first time..and then immediately go 'i mean,')
marry me?
granularsilica
+0 -0
Get a room, you two!
Get a room, you two!
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I like this...even more for the inclusion of first time you propose.
I like this...even more for the inclusion of first time you propose.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i meant first time, like, ever. i wouldn't propose multiple times to one person...that's just tacky and hell of says, 'hello, i will never be ready to marry you.' if i ever had an engagement broken off, i'd leave them. 'cos seriously, what kind of jazz is that...
i meant first time, like, ever. i wouldn't propose multiple times to one person...that's just tacky and hell of says, 'hello, i will never be ready to marry you.' if i ever had an engagement broken off, i'd leave them. 'cos seriously, what kind of jazz is that...
thegoblins
+0 -0
is it...
improvisational jazz?
is it...
improvisational jazz?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Is worst muted solo played on battered horn by deadest Miles Davis.
Like dis: bleahhhp...
Is like fart from 3 day old corpse.
Is worst muted solo played on battered horn by deadest Miles Davis.
Like dis: bleahhhp...
Is like fart from 3 day old corpse.
thegoblins
+0 -0
praw praw praw praw praaaaaw
praw praw praw praw praaaaaw
philophobe
+0 -0
Kind of Blue Lips .
Kind of Blue Lips .
srikamaraja
+0 -0
You're like a constant downer, huh?
You're like a constant downer, huh?
thegoblins
+0 -0
That was part of the muted horn solo.
That was part of the muted horn solo.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
looks like sooomeooone needs assetbaristaaa...
looks like sooomeooone needs assetbaristaaa...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
istillloveyou.
istillloveyou.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Noyoudon't :(
Noyoudon't :(
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yesido.
yesido.
thegoblins
+0 -0
omg
omg
lynnym
+1 -0
I usually try to hide my moronicness under a big sweatshirt, but today it slipped out
I usually try to hide my moronicness under a big sweatshirt, but today it slipped out
theirateturk
+0 -2
Fuck you too holmes!
Fuck you too holmes!
jesler729
+0 -0
i dunno
i think this strip is relatively unforgivable
i dunno
i think this strip is relatively unforgivable
firedmyass
+1 -0
It's only a mistake if you don't learn nothin.
It's only a mistake if you don't learn nothin.
neonfreon
+0 -0
this is a big departure from the typical sudden arc switch that onstad pulls - do you guys think onstad is on meds?
this is a big departure from the typical sudden arc switch that onstad pulls - do you guys think onstad is on meds?
lynnym
+0 -1
I wouldn't put it past him.
Although, I would think meds would actually increase his creative output
I wouldn't put it past him.
Although, I would think meds would actually increase his creative output
lynnym
+0 -0
I should mention that I actually do understand that some medications can have a great impact on the personality and creative processes of a person...and that my previous response was merely an attempt at a snarky comment
I should mention that I actually do understand that some medications can have a great impact on the personality and creative processes of a person...and that my previous response was merely an attempt at a snarky comment
neonfreon
+1 -0
maybe someone is drugging him without his knowledge
maybe some secret fan has been giving him a date rape drug and dragging him to his office and forcing him to output comics
maybe he took a lot of LSD recently and his brain reset in a different mode and now his comics will always be just slightly different in a weird way
maybe we need to talk to his doctor
maybe someone is drugging him without his knowledge
maybe some secret fan has been giving him a date rape drug and dragging him to his office and forcing him to output comics
maybe he took a lot of LSD recently and his brain reset in a different mode and now his comics will always be just slightly different in a weird way
maybe we need to talk to his doctor
majestictrout
+1 -0
Maybe he found a different doctor after the first one kept walking in on him in the bathroom.
Maybe he found a different doctor after the first one kept walking in on him in the bathroom.
lynnym
+1 -0
POSTMASTER: FIND THIS MAN
POSTMASTER: FIND THIS MAN
firedmyass
+0 -0
or maybe he just wanted to play a new chord on the gee-tar?
or maybe he just wanted to play a new chord on the gee-tar?
puguglypress
+0 -0
A comment left by puguglypress was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chivalress, cakeofpan, camidumas)
A comment left by puguglypress was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chivalress, cakeofpan, camidumas)
thegoblins
+0 -0
Excitement brings you lames! Except in real life I guess it gives you chubbies.
Excitement brings you lames! Except in real life I guess it gives you chubbies.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I accept those lames heroically, like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart, still shouting "FREEDOM!" even as they cut his dick off.
I accept those lames heroically, like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart, still shouting "FREEDOM!" even as they cut his dick off.
puguglypress
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
puguglypress
+0 -0
Also, I wonder if "chew on *that*, a college freshman" was a slam on Ayn Randers
Also, I wonder if "chew on *that*, a college freshman" was a slam on Ayn Randers
lateadopter
+6 -0
I always preferred Dear Abby, myself.
I always preferred Dear Abby, myself.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I don't recall Dear Abby dealing much with stories of urine and vomit and awkward dorm hookups.
I don't recall Dear Abby dealing much with stories of urine and vomit and awkward dorm hookups.
deafwhisperer
+2 -0
Does it not shame us all that with all our talk about loose ends and what ifs and this and that detail, none of us wondered what happened to the people in the other car ?
The cartoonist uses fictional cats to teach us a lesson in humanity on the internet.
Does it not shame us all that with all our talk about loose ends and what ifs and this and that detail, none of us wondered what happened to the people in the other car ?
The cartoonist uses fictional cats to teach us a lesson in humanity on the internet.
puguglypress
+1 -0
I dind't think it was another car, I thought it was the motion of Ray's car, like those old Flash comics where they drew him in many different places in the panel to show how fast he was moving
I dind't think it was another car, I thought it was the motion of Ray's car, like those old Flash comics where they drew him in many different places in the panel to show how fast he was moving
neonfreon
+0 -0
ditto
pretty sure onstad just made this one up
ditto
pretty sure onstad just made this one up
octafish
+0 -0
Ditto? ...too soon.
I concur with the Flash motion speed accident reading, because that is how I read it.
Ditto? ...too soon.
I concur with the Flash motion speed accident reading, because that is how I read it.
9
+0 -0
...The car was a ditto of it's self. An auto-auto ditto.
...The car was a ditto of it's self. An auto-auto ditto.
majestictrout
+0 -0
It took my brain way too many tries to see ditto and not register dildo. Freud would be proud.
It took my brain way too many tries to see ditto and not register dildo. Freud would be proud.
paperboy_2000
+3 -0
I thought it was a second car, but then I forgot about it by the next strip. We have proved ourselves cowards who would desert a dying tertiary character in mid-arc.
I thought it was a second car, but then I forgot about it by the next strip. We have proved ourselves cowards who would desert a dying tertiary character in mid-arc.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fortunately the arc was hardly protracted and the car's damage was mainly external.
Fortunately the arc was hardly protracted and the car's damage was mainly external.
dangelder
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
srmeowmeow
+17 -1
The only thing holding this arc together was the possibility of a brilliant resolution, and a brilliant resolution this ain't.
It's like Lost. I don't like it anymore because I don't trust that the writers know what they're doing anymore. I think Onstad got into deep waters here and, instead of coming up with something amazing, copped out.
I mean, this whole strip seems like some sarcastic commentary on "oh you silly readers, you want alogical plausible ending, watch me play with your preconceived notions" to cover up the fact that Onstad doesn't have a fucking clue where this was going.
The only thing holding this arc together was the possibility of a brilliant resolution, and a brilliant resolution this ain't.
It's like Lost. I don't like it anymore because I don't trust that the writers know what they're doing anymore. I think Onstad got into deep waters here and, instead of coming up with something amazing, copped out.
I mean, this whole strip seems like some sarcastic commentary on "oh you silly readers, you want a
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
don't get your panties into a Lash.
don't get your panties into a Lash.
partial_loser
+0 -0
A comment left by partial_loser was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, morypcaina, greatjob, Irien)
A comment left by partial_loser was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, morypcaina, greatjob, Irien)
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, mintyhelminthes, re5urgam, chivalress, rascaldom, Lynnym)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, mintyhelminthes, re5urgam, chivalress, rascaldom, Lynnym)
lynnym
+0 -0
more power to you
I have distasteful feelings on this strip
more power to you
I have distasteful feelings on this strip
nagash
+0 -0
It does feel kind of like a giant 'fuck you' to anyone who is left with questions about this whole arc
It does feel kind of like a giant 'fuck you' to anyone who is left with questions about this whole arc
neonfreon
+0 -0
onstad does it to spite you personally
onstad does it to spite you personally
9
+0 -1
So this must be what 'trekies' are like. I've heard of them, but never really seen them up close and personal like this.
So this must be what 'trekies' are like. I've heard of them, but never really seen them up close and personal like this.
octafish
+0 -0
Trekk ers don't insult us AIU.
I am not really a trekker .
Trekk ers don't insult us AIU.
I am not really a trekker .
9
+0 -0
pretending that you don't know it's 'trekkie' not 'trekker' isn't going to fool me
pretending that you don't know it's 'trekkie' not 'trekker' isn't going to fool me
troy_convers
+0 -0
A comment left by troy_convers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rascaldom, partial_loser, goneill451)
A comment left by troy_convers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rascaldom, partial_loser, goneill451)
partial_loser
+0 -1
Yeah, I've read the archive from the beginning--barring a year or so when I swore off webcomics because they were taking up all my time at work. But I only signed up for an account today, because I have never felt compelled to comment before. Hence the low strip-view count.
Anyway, does that mean that Cartilage Head is from an earlier strip? That's why I asked.
Safety.
Yeah, I've read the archive from the beginning--barring a year or so when I swore off webcomics because they were taking up all my time at work. But I only signed up for an account today, because I have never felt compelled to comment before. Hence the low strip-view count.
Anyway, does that mean that Cartilage Head is from an earlier strip? That's why I asked.
Safety.
neonfreon
+0 -1
Cartilage Head is from history
Cartilage Head is from history
greatjob
+0 -0
Did you say "safety" in time?
Did you say "safety" in time?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*dead-arm*
not. even. close, BUD.
*dead-arm*
not. even. close, BUD.
8
+1 -0
hey dude if you want to increase your strip count you can use my strip viewing page:
here...
hey dude if you want to increase your strip count you can use my strip viewing page:
here...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
dude, seriously, that number is just like any other, and as such, should be largely ignored.
dude, seriously, that number is just like any other, and as such, should be largely ignored.
wazza
+0 -0
I get the feeling that this is the middle volume of a trilogy about CH. This is just building mystery about the Weepy Man. Next time, we'll get some answers.
I get the feeling that this is the middle volume of a trilogy about CH. This is just building mystery about the Weepy Man. Next time, we'll get some answers.
johnmatrix
+1 -0
Yeah, and then we'll get to know what happened with Pat and the Banjo. And then maybe the Simpsons will be funny again! The possibilities are endless!
Yeah, and then we'll get to know what happened with Pat and the Banjo. And then maybe the Simpsons will be funny again! The possibilities are endless!
aperson
+2 -0
So... Roast Beef is a cat ?
So... Roast Beef is a cat ?
lynnym
+1 -0
As long as we're here, I should mention that I've been reading it "Thantos" instead of "Thanatos".
As long as we're here, I should mention that I've been reading it "Thantos" instead of "Thanatos".
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Thantos - now in Bloody Spear-mint.
For that minty freshness when you bereave!
Thantos - now in Bloody Spear-mint.
For that minty freshness when you bereave!
lynnym
+2 -0
"the death-maker"
"the death-maker"
aperson
+0 -0
Mintocles! What's going on in the area?!
Mintocles! What's going on in the area?!
stereo
+0 -0
What a fresh new joke that one is!
What a fresh new joke that one is!
aperson
+0 -0
IT FELL THROUGH THAT BAD BREATH
IT FELL THROUGH THAT BAD BREATH
thegoblins
+2 -0
You won't bereave it!
It's DEATHLY delicious, of corpse!
You won't bereave it!
It's DEATHLY delicious, of corpse!
puguglypress
+0 -1
i know i always though he was like a poorly drawn chihuahua who was depressed about not having hair
i know i always though he was like a poorly drawn chihuahua who was depressed about not having hair
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Achewood is a website.
Achewood is a website.
octafish
+1 -0
Achewood is a website
Achewood is a website
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Achewood is a website
Achewood is a website
9
+1 -0
Ce-ci ist keine Website.
Ce-ci ist keine Website.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
who would have thought ...
apparently you need to put the www. in there or else it is not recognized as a url.
who would have thought ...
apparently you need to put the www. in there or else it is not recognized as a url.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Learn about a foldy snail!
Learn about a foldy snail!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
WHAT WE NEED MORE OF IS SCIENCE!!
thank you. that was very informative and neat.
...but i do not know how i feel about giving a heart a chuppy.
WHAT WE NEED MORE OF IS SCIENCE!!
thank you. that was very informative and neat.
...but i do not know how i feel about giving a heart a chuppy.
shenerd
+0 -0
This made me giggle and scratch my head a bit:
Toy Story 3's Mr. Pricklepants and Achewood's Philippe: Separated at Birth?
Let's hope Disney doesn't pull another Kimba/Simba on us.
This made me giggle and scratch my head a bit:
Toy Story 3's Mr. Pricklepants and Achewood's Philippe: Separated at Birth?
Let's hope Disney doesn't pull another Kimba/Simba on us.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm sure the character will be just as adorable as Philippe. That is, until he punches M in the face and goes rogue.
I'm sure the character will be just as adorable as Philippe. That is, until he punches M in the face and goes rogue.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
maaaaaaaaaaan, that's gonna hella screw up that movie for me.
also, this:
[IMGS OFF]
maaaaaaaaaaan, that's gonna hella screw up that movie for me.
also, this:
[IMGS OFF]
troy_convers
+0 -0
What next? An alcoholic tiger?
What next? An alcoholic tiger?
troy_convers
+1 -0
Start reading
Start reading
partial_loser
+0 -1
Awesome. Thanks.
Awesome. Thanks.
partial_loser
+0 -1
Although I can't help noticing that Cartilage Head wasn't dying this time...
Love his first appearance, though. Has he been in the strip between then and now?
Although I can't help noticing that Cartilage Head wasn't dying this time...
Love his first appearance, though. Has he been in the strip between then and now?
partial_loser
+0 -1
That is, he wasn't dying, so the card that Beef got doesn't make sense. Ray's card made sense, since he thought CH was dying.
That is, he wasn't dying, so the card that Beef got doesn't make sense. Ray's card made sense, since he thought CH was dying.
21echoes
+0 -2
Beef deserted his own dying self... I don't think you can complain about needing some guidance and then miss the main obvious focal point of the entire fucking arc. Maybe you just need to reread it? And pay attention?
I mean, don't get me wrong, this wasn't my favorite arc of all time, but it was way more than a blind foray into pointless minutiae--it was a relatively deep look into the psyche of one of the main characters of the strip.
Beef deserted his own dying self... I don't think you can complain about needing some guidance and then miss the main obvious focal point of the entire fucking arc. Maybe you just need to reread it? And pay attention?
I mean, don't get me wrong, this wasn't my favorite arc of all time, but it was way more than a blind foray into pointless minutiae--it was a relatively deep look into the psyche of one of the main characters of the strip.
partial_loser
+0 -0
How exactly did Beef "desert" himself? In Ray's case, desertion meant leaving a man to die because he (Ray) was too scared to do something about it. What does it mean in this case? Is the betrayal that Beef lives after he promised to die? But who is he betraying?
I guess what I am still having trouble with is CH's motivation. Is he an existential bad cop, showing us our weaknesses and our failings? Or is he just a parasitic and vindictive creature, who relies on others for his subsistence, and then shames them when they bail on the admittedly creepy rigmarole he puts them through? I'm inclined to believe he's the latter.
Either way, I still find this storyline unsatisfying. As I said, if he's meant to be teaching Beef some personal truth about himself, I'm utterly lost about what that truth is, and I don't buy that Beef wouldn't ask the same question. Sure, Existential Cop CH would have lied, but it bothers me that Beef didn't ask, because the realization (via the card telling him he is a coward) that this whole set-up was just an elaborate lesson for Beef falls flat; we never knew what to expect from CH, so we weren't surprised when he threw us a curve ball. And if CH is a parasite, we don't know what he plans to gain from Beef's death.
In the Ray storyline, CH's weirdness is a slow burn, and it seems innocent enough at first. This storyline involved an elaborate plan that seemingly had no purpose. Even if it hadn't been sabotaged, it's unclear what the result of this whole mess would have been.
So, I guess my overarching question is, if this was meant as a look into Roast Beef's psyche, what did we see there? What did it reveal about him?
Finally, I love that we're able to have a discussion like this about a webcomic. The fact that Achewood is even deserving of this kind of analysis is pretty amazing and exciting.
How exactly did Beef "desert" himself? In Ray's case, desertion meant leaving a man to die because he (Ray) was too scared to do something about it. What does it mean in this case? Is the betrayal that Beef lives after he promised to die? But who is he betraying?
I guess what I am still having trouble with is CH's motivation. Is he an existential bad cop, showing us our weaknesses and our failings? Or is he just a parasitic and vindictive creature, who relies on others for his subsistence, and then shames them when they bail on the admittedly creepy rigmarole he puts them through? I'm inclined to believe he's the latter.
Either way, I still find this storyline unsatisfying. As I said, if he's meant to be teaching Beef some personal truth about himself, I'm utterly lost about what that truth is, and I don't buy that Beef wouldn't ask the same question. Sure, Existential Cop CH would have lied, but it bothers me that Beef didn't ask, because the realization (via the card telling him he is a coward) that this whole set-up was just an elaborate lesson for Beef falls flat; we never knew what to expect from CH, so we weren't surprised when he threw us a curve ball. And if CH is a parasite, we don't know what he plans to gain from Beef's death.
In the Ray storyline, CH's weirdness is a slow burn, and it seems innocent enough at first. This storyline involved an elaborate plan that seemingly had no purpose. Even if it hadn't been sabotaged, it's unclear what the result of this whole mess would have been.
So, I guess my overarching question is, if this was meant as a look into Roast Beef's psyche, what did we see there? What did it reveal about him?
Finally, I love that we're able to have a discussion like this about a webcomic. The fact that Achewood is even deserving of this kind of analysis is pretty amazing and exciting.
mintyhelminthes
+1 -0
I think that the idea is that since Beef is so depressed, reincarnation is something he should want to do. Like, 'if you hate your life, do something about it.'
Onstad underscores this in the last strip, when Beef chooses to "flip the switch negative on today". We're reminded that he's not a happy creature.
So he abandoned himself in that he chose not to take positive action to change his life. Of course, that's an oversimplification, since there are good things and people in his life too, and he didn't know whether what he would be reborn as would have been good or bad, but it is, to my understanding, what Cartilage Head means.
As for why Cartilage Head would do this to Beef . . . Who knows, maybe he felt he was helping. Maybe he just wanted to reach out to one of his fans.
Anyway, I'm probably largely wrong about all that, but that's the conclusion I came to.
I think that the idea is that since Beef is so depressed, reincarnation is something he should want to do. Like, 'if you hate your life, do something about it.'
Onstad underscores this in the last strip, when Beef chooses to "flip the switch negative on today". We're reminded that he's not a happy creature.
So he abandoned himself in that he chose not to take positive action to change his life. Of course, that's an oversimplification, since there are good things and people in his life too, and he didn't know whether what he would be reborn as would have been good or bad, but it is, to my understanding, what Cartilage Head means.
As for why Cartilage Head would do this to Beef . . . Who knows, maybe he felt he was helping. Maybe he just wanted to reach out to one of his fans.
Anyway, I'm probably largely wrong about all that, but that's the conclusion I came to.
partial_loser
+3 -0
Also, the fact that I "miss[ed] the main obvious focal point of the entire fucking arc" is 100% congruent with an appeal for guidance. I need help because I admit that I missed the point.
Also, the fact that I "miss[ed] the main obvious focal point of the entire fucking arc" is 100% congruent with an appeal for guidance. I need help because I admit that I missed the point.
ldmcmillion
+1 -0
Man, I can't name a single strip or storyline from Achewood that I don't like, but this one was kind of lame and pointless. Storyline started off cool but petered out.
Man, I can't name a single strip or storyline from Achewood that I don't like, but this one was kind of lame and pointless. Storyline started off cool but petered out.
puguglypress
+1 -0
Dude, don't be all "yes on 8", it was a good arc!
Dude, don't be all "yes on 8", it was a good arc!
partial_loser
+0 -1
Apropos of this, is there a way to search the archives? Does Chris use OhNoRobot?
Apropos of this, is there a way to search the archives? Does Chris use OhNoRobot?
greatjob
+1 -0
Yes.
Yes.
partial_loser
+0 -2
Thanks. How come there's no link on the archive or main pages?
Thanks. How come there's no link on the archive or main pages?
neonfreon
+1 -0
because you are blind
Quote:
Searching 100% of our comics. Powered by ohnorobot and you
^^ from the main page.
because you are blind
Quote:
Searching 100% of our comics. Powered by ohnorobot and you
^^ from the main page.
partial_loser
+0 -0
Oops! To be fair, it isn't on the archives page (which would make sense) and it's kind of buried among other things on the main page.
Oops! To be fair, it isn't on the archives page (which would make sense) and it's kind of buried among other things on the main page.
neonfreon
+0 -0
agreed - i knew you would point that out but i went ahead with it anyhow
agreed - i knew you would point that out but i went ahead with it anyhow
hamscout
+0 -0
correct. I wanna search.
correct. I wanna search.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I want to come. (beat ya, gobs)
I want to come. (beat ya, gobs)
thegoblins
+0 -0
I came.
I came.
octafish
+0 -0
I saw.
I saw.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I concurred.
I concurred.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i stole you right in the jaw
i stole you right in the jaw
bluemoon72
+0 -0
You can steal me anytime, handsome.
You can steal me anytime, handsome.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
flattery will get you whatever you want.
flattery will get you whatever you want.
octafish
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]?
[IMGS OFF]?
apocowarg
+0 -0
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Nah, sorry, this doesn't work for you.
Nah, sorry, this doesn't work for you.
apocowarg
+1 -0
What doesn't? I was changing my lame settings and accidentally hit post instead of save. If this is a thing then I missed it.
What doesn't? I was changing my lame settings and accidentally hit post instead of save. If this is a thing then I missed it.
cakeofpan
+8 -0
At the risk of receiving the scorn of one or two stoned hipsters on the Internet:
Listen, as someone who reads and enjoys a comic strip for free on the Internet and has purchased merchandise based on this comic as is implied in the social contract herein , I think Onstad knew he was just wandering about, waiting for something to happen. He was like, "shit, Sapphic poetry content, where do I go from there" and at 2 AM one day was all "I GOT IT!" and suddenly Cartilage Head was once more with us. A panicked creative decision that spirals into something worse: everyone who has (metaphorically) put pen to paper has gotten themselves into a situation like this at one time or another. Most of us, however, don't do so publicly, in real-time, with a feedback mechanism available to their audience.
Sir: you hosed this but good, but I appreciate the mea culpa. Walk it off, son.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR CHRIS ONSTAD, LADIES AND GENTS. HUZZAH. OBAMA '08: BECAUSE WE CAN. CHOCOLATE LOVE, Y'ALL.
At the risk of receiving the scorn of one or two stoned hipsters on the Internet:
Listen, as someone who reads and enjoys a comic strip for free on the Internet and has purchased merchandise based on this comic as is implied in the social contract herein , I think Onstad knew he was just wandering about, waiting for something to happen. He was like, "shit, Sapphic poetry content, where do I go from there" and at 2 AM one day was all "I GOT IT!" and suddenly Cartilage Head was once more with us. A panicked creative decision that spirals into something worse: everyone who has (metaphorically) put pen to paper has gotten themselves into a situation like this at one time or another. Most of us, however, don't do so publicly, in real-time, with a feedback mechanism available to their audience.
Sir: you hosed this but good, but I appreciate the mea culpa. Walk it off, son.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR CHRIS ONSTAD, LADIES AND GENTS. HUZZAH. OBAMA '08: BECAUSE WE CAN. CHOCOLATE LOVE, Y'ALL.
ninjamike
+2 -1
Uh, yeah, we all read the comic for free and buy the merchandise. That's because we are all fans . What's your point? It doesn't actually give your opinions any more weight.
Uh, yeah, we all read the comic for free and buy the merchandise. That's because we are all fans . What's your point? It doesn't actually give your opinions any more weight.
cakeofpan
+5 -0
Thank you, "ninjamike", for being on the Internet.
Thank you, "ninjamike", for being on the Internet.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
and also with you.
and also with you.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Forgive ususususs our trespasssesssess
Forgive ususususs our trespasssesssess
granularsilica
+0 -0
And lead us not to be dicks to strangers.
And lead us not to be dicks to strangers.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
but deliver us from aiu.
but deliver us from aiu.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
for thine is the acheworld, the Cirumstances, and the ruuude titties for ever and ever, amen.
for thine is the acheworld, the Cirumstances, and the ruuude titties for ever and ever, amen.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Amen.
Amen.
pppoa
+0 -0
I hadn't really seen it as a mea culpa, more as the (for Onstad) crude last gasp of an ill-fated arc. However, I think I like your interpretation better, so I'm taking it. I guess I'm trying to say "thank you"?
As an aside, I find it amusing that the protestations of devotion to and affection for the comic accompany any comment remotely critical of Onstad to the point where they become as predictable as the abuse which would ensue without them. Of course, sometimes the abuse ensues anyway...
I hadn't really seen it as a mea culpa, more as the (for Onstad) crude last gasp of an ill-fated arc. However, I think I like your interpretation better, so I'm taking it. I guess I'm trying to say "thank you"?
As an aside, I find it amusing that the protestations of devotion to and affection for the comic accompany any comment remotely critical of Onstad to the point where they become as predictable as the abuse which would ensue without them. Of course, sometimes the abuse ensues anyway...
biznart
+0 -0
The callback to Leo was worth a 5 by itself. I wonder if he has a recollection of his previous life and how many of those Cadillacs he sold.
The callback to Leo was worth a 5 by itself. I wonder if he has a recollection of his previous life and how many of those Cadillacs he sold.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
My biggest bugaboo: I wanted the man in seat Z-1 to be some kind of past figure for Beef. Maybe not like Ramses meeting Ray at the fence at the GOF, but something like, maybe the homeless guy who asked him to write a letter for him in that one Christmas Eve strip? Other than that I'm fine with how this all turned out. I know you all wanted to know my Ideas.
My biggest bugaboo: I wanted the man in seat Z-1 to be some kind of past figure for Beef. Maybe not like Ramses meeting Ray at the fence at the GOF, but something like, maybe the homeless guy who asked him to write a letter for him in that one Christmas Eve strip? Other than that I'm fine with how this all turned out. I know you all wanted to know my Ideas.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
your ideas are perfectly conveyed.
your ideas are perfectly conveyed.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Your mom is perfectly conveyed, I found out last night.
Your mom is perfectly conveyed, I found out last night.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
With all that sex.
With all that sex.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that is Spongebob's house.
that is Spongebob's house.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What.
What.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
O has a thing for 1973 Honda Civics .
link to the monk-man.
link to Giuseppe Arcimboldo.
link to Leo's exclamation.
O has a thing for 1973 Honda Civics .
link to the monk-man.
link to Giuseppe Arcimboldo.
link to Leo's exclamation.
honesttom
+0 -1
So how did Ray and Teodor get out of the burning Escalade?
So how did Ray and Teodor get out of the burning Escalade?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
T said he kicked out the windshield or SOME FUCKING SHIT like that.
T said he kicked out the windshield or SOME FUCKING SHIT like that.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Cool! Fun!
(honesttom, where you been. it's been an Age.)
Cool! Fun!
(honesttom, where you been. it's been an Age.)
j_burns
+0 -0
Wait, so Ray and Beef aren't going to team up and kick Cartilage Head's ass? Bummer.
Wait, so Ray and Beef aren't going to team up and kick Cartilage Head's ass? Bummer.
wazza
+0 -0
not yet. Maybe later, though.
not yet. Maybe later, though.
neonfreon
+0 -0
hopefully before he gets to poor phillipe
hopefully before he gets to poor phillipe
cpnglxynchos
+4 -0
are you kidding? if that happened, this would, too:
[IMGS OFF]
are you kidding? if that happened, this would, too:
[IMGS OFF]
9
+0 -0
damn straight! The dirty old bear wants the kiddie otter all to himself.
damn straight! The dirty old bear wants the kiddie otter all to himself.
dfgb
+0 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
puguglypress
+0 -0
I was out of chubbies until you just gave me one.
I was out of chubbies until you just gave me one.
daidai
+0 -0
your name makes me imagine a group of 11 or so particularly ugly pugs being led into a trash compactor.
it is pleasant and comical
your name makes me imagine a group of 11 or so particularly ugly pugs being led into a trash compactor.
it is pleasant and comical
puguglypress
+0 -0
good avatar/comment uh, thing
good avatar/comment uh, thing
cpnglxynchos
+10 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
Yes. So yes.
Yes. So yes.
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+1 -0
When my post was so unsound
You came along and you lamed it
'cause you make me feel
you make me feel like an assetbar poseur
When my post was so unsound
You came along and you lamed it
'cause you make me feel
you make me feel like an assetbar poseur
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
DO YOU NOT SEE THE CRICKET BAT HE'S HIDING BEHIND HIS BACK??
DO YOU NOT SEE THE CRICKET BAT HE'S HIDING BEHIND HIS BACK??
lynnym
+4 -0
CH doesn't seem like the kind of man who is capable of getting his ass kicked.
His ass is probably a metaphor, for example.
Just imagine; if Ray and Beer did kick his ass, they would eventually discover that they were actually beating themselves up, in a strange, nighttime telly kind of way.
CH doesn't seem like the kind of man who is capable of getting his ass kicked.
His ass is probably a metaphor, for example.
Just imagine; if Ray and Beer did kick his ass, they would eventually discover that they were actually beating themselves up, in a strange, nighttime telly kind of way.
mintyhelminthes
+0 -0
I think Cartilage Head getting beaten up would be so horrific and disturbing that Ray would have to question why you even got to do a thing
I think Cartilage Head getting beaten up would be so horrific and disturbing that Ray would have to question why you even got to do a thing
thegoblins
+0 -0
You'd find yourself leaping back as the first chunk of soft tissue hit the floor and he fixed his hollow weeping gaze at you.
You'd find yourself leaping back as the first chunk of soft tissue hit the floor and he fixed his hollow weeping gaze at you.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
neonfreon
+1 -0
man that brings me back to old times
man that brings me back to old times
puguglypress
+0 -0
beautiful.
beautiful.
srmeowmeow
+0 -0
Eddie Izzard. Chubbied. End of line.
Eddie Izzard. Chubbied. End of line.
lynnym
+0 -0
awesome
you noticed!
awesome
you noticed!
octafish
+0 -0
Marathon man.
Marathon man.
deus
+0 -0
Dudes, be gratefull, Onstad could have created a plot that revolves around a misscarrige.
....
Actually....come of think of it...he might actually make something doable about such a topic.
I mean, what havent he cowered in his comic?
Dudes, be gratefull, Onstad could have created a plot that revolves around a misscarrige.
....
Actually....come of think of it...he might actually make something doable about such a topic.
I mean, what havent he cowered in his comic?
8
+0 -0
the trick to tolerating a plot about a miscarriage is to not read it while you're hungry
the trick to tolerating a plot about a miscarriage is to not read it while you're hungry
hausea
+0 -0
This is way more awesome than anything else that I could have possibly considered being the wrap-up strip.
This is way more awesome than anything else that I could have possibly considered being the wrap-up strip.
re5urgam
+0 -0
So, I'm not really feeling this.
So, I'm not really feeling this.
gyrate
+0 -0
How about now? And....now? What about now - can you feel that?
How about now? And....now? What about now - can you feel that?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
That's what she said.
That's what she said.
sje46
+3 -0
Hey guys I haven't been around for a while what happened did ray win that outdoor fight!??!?!
Hey guys I haven't been around for a while what happened did ray win that outdoor fight!??!?!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee did.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee did.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay's Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead.
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay's Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead.
gyrate
+1 -0
It was called on account of rain. All remaining participants were given McDonalds gift certificates.
It was called on account of rain. All remaining participants were given McDonalds gift certificates.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It entitled you to the dollar sundae.
I would sell my woiginity for a dollar sundae
It entitled you to the dollar sundae.
I would sell my woiginity for a dollar sundae
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
lexi, i cannot help but feel we have met somewhere before.
lexi, i cannot help but feel we have met somewhere before.
stendac
+2 -0
The Magistrate of Quarternary is a queefing vag. No?
The Magistrate of Quarternary is a queefing vag. No?
thegoblins
+1 -0
A queefing vag
A cheesy spade
What is a youth?
What is a maid?
A queefing vag
A cheesy spade
What is a youth?
What is a maid?
wazza
+0 -0
I still posit that it is a false concept
I still posit that it is a false concept
scarlett
+0 -0
Intriguing that a dog could be considered selfish when the alternative is a cat?
Intriguing that a dog could be considered selfish when the alternative is a cat?
9
+1 -0
...said the human..
...said the human..
srikamaraja
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
puguglypress
+0 -0
That is ONE SYLLABLE AWAY from being a haiku! It's really amazing nonetheless
That is ONE SYLLABLE AWAY from being a haiku! It's really amazing nonetheless
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
"People used to smile more.."
"People used to smile more.."
groen
+0 -0
I lift my skinny fist to give you a chubby. I regret that I have but one.
I lift my skinny fist to give you a chubby. I regret that I have but one.
granularsilica
+0 -0
What happened to your other fist?
What happened to your other fist?
stereo
+0 -0
It's chubby, he said.
It's chubby, he said.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Ah, it all makes sense now. I finally Understand this story arc. It's trying to tell us that you can take the deus out of the machina, but you can't take the machina out of the deus.
Not really. I don't understand this story arc at all.
Ah, it all makes sense now. I finally Understand this story arc. It's trying to tell us that you can take the deus out of the machina, but you can't take the machina out of the deus.
Not really. I don't understand this story arc at all.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
WholeFoods do tend in an episode of emergency runs...
WholeFoods do tend in an episode of emergency runs...
gyrate
+0 -0
It's the lentils - they'll do that to you.
It's the lentils - they'll do that to you.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Not if you rinse and soak them properly. Geez people.
Not if you rinse and soak them properly. Geez people.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Vegetables are for sheep.
Vegetables are for sheep.
thegoblins
+0 -0
...lentils are not vegetables. >_<
...lentils are not vegetables. >_<
smallblackdog
+0 -0
They're not sentient beings and that's all that counts in the foodchain.
They're not sentient beings and that's all that counts in the foodchain.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
They're not even sentient beans. But, who amung us can throw the first bone?
They're not even sentient beans. But, who amung us can throw the first bone?
smallblackdog
+1 -0
scorpio_nadir has his finger on the pulse
scorpio_nadir has his finger on the pulse
gyrate
+0 -0
Some beans were meant to be flicked.
Some beans were meant to be flicked.
thegoblins
+1 -0
I'd ask you to go long, but I'm afraid you'd do a runner on me.
I'd ask you to go long, but I'm afraid you'd do a runner on me.
all-star951
+0 -0
That's what she said.
That's what she said.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Sheep don't eat vegetables...
Sheep don't eat vegetables...
thegoblins
+0 -0
They eat your mother. Sheep are very considerate to your mother in bed.
They eat your mother. Sheep are very considerate to your mother in bed.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
who would want to be reincarnated as a lentil?
who would want to be reincarnated as a lentil?
wazza
+0 -0
anyone who wants to get eaten by people who fart a lot?
anyone who wants to get eaten by people who fart a lot?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
bet they would if you prepared them right.
bet they would if you prepared them right.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
OK, I was worried I might be the only one who was truly let down by this wrap-up. Whenever I take issue with Onstad's work I get lambasted. It's nice to know I can be OK in hating a strip. As long as everyone else also hates it.
OK, I was worried I might be the only one who was truly let down by this wrap-up. Whenever I take issue with Onstad's work I get lambasted. It's nice to know I can be OK in hating a strip. As long as everyone else also hates it.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I don't hate it.
So I guess you're back to square one?
I don't hate it.
So I guess you're back to square one?
lynnym
+0 -0
Yeah, free your anger. But then, make yourself feel better by going back and reading the Leon Sumbitches arc.
Yeah, free your anger. But then, make yourself feel better by going back and reading the Leon Sumbitches arc.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, that arc I hated.
Oh, that arc I hated.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Voice your opinions, college freshmen!
Voice your opinions, college freshmen!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[url=https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32855934/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/]College student completely kills intruder with samurai sword .
[url=https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32855934/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/]College student completely kills intruder with samurai sword .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh heck. first fail in a while.
i meant College student completely kills intruder with samurai sword .
in more recent news,
assetbar user makes ass of self
oh heck. first fail in a while.
i meant College student completely kills intruder with samurai sword .
in more recent news,
assetbar user makes ass of self
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
I thought this arc was going to turn out great, by the way, when I saw that one of the options on the Wheel of Samsara was "octocephaly." Roast Beef would return as an eight-headed creature, with each head scornful of the one on its left and envious of the one on its right. But then I realized that it actually said "otocephaly," and I felt really, really bad.
I thought this arc was going to turn out great, by the way, when I saw that one of the options on the Wheel of Samsara was "octocephaly." Roast Beef would return as an eight-headed creature, with each head scornful of the one on its left and envious of the one on its right. But then I realized that it actually said "otocephaly," and I felt really, really bad.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
the who that 'should' have been answered is 'who did Beef desert?'
the who that 'should' have been answered is 'who did Beef desert?'
z0rmulaut
+0 -0
Comment left by z0rmulaut ignored.
Comment left by z0rmulaut ignored.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it is obvious to me that you copypasted. (the lack of spacing between some of those words.)
let us now sing "Fap" in the keys of L, aM, and E.
it is obvious to me that you copypasted. (the lack of spacing between some of those words.)
let us now sing "Fap" in the keys of L, aM, and E.
9
+0 -0
are you drunk?
are you drunk?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it would explain some things, but no. no i was not.
it would explain some things, but no. no i was not.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
THINGS IT WOULD EXPLAIN:
1) why i didn't type 'Am' (as in A-minor) instead of the tiny-a-major...or whatever i did.
2) why i thought cutting my lengthy hair was a good idea at three-thirty, ante meridiem...with a swiss army knife's tiny scissors. ( see fig. 1 )
3) why i didn't fall asleep until almost five-thirty.
Fig. 1
[IMGS OFF]
THINGS IT WOULD EXPLAIN:
1) why i didn't type 'Am' (as in A-minor) instead of the tiny-a-major...or whatever i did.
2) why i thought cutting my lengthy hair was a good idea at three-thirty, ante meridiem...with a swiss army knife's tiny scissors. ( see fig. 1 )
3) why i didn't fall asleep until almost five-thirty.
Fig. 1
[IMGS OFF]
bluemoon72
+1 -0
oooh, oooh, pics! How much mane did you lose to the blade? *secret long haired-dude fetish*
while you may not have been drunk, you were obviously not in your right mind.
oooh, oooh, pics! How much mane did you lose to the blade? *secret long haired-dude fetish*
while you may not have been drunk, you were obviously not in your right mind.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the back of my hair was shoulder-length...i thought i might only do it halfway, but then i looked like a mix of the lead singer of Muse and the classicly-animated Aslan, but now i almost have an emo-wing on one side, and what seems like a stylist's first day on the job on the other. there are pictures..but i'm not sure how to release them to the public. or if i even should.
the back of my hair was shoulder-length...i thought i might only do it halfway, but then i looked like a mix of the lead singer of Muse and the classicly-animated Aslan, but now i almost have an emo-wing on one side, and what seems like a stylist's first day on the job on the other. there are pictures..but i'm not sure how to release them to the public. or if i even should.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos: the Devon Lion.
cpnglxynchos: the Devon Lion.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You have a secret long-haired dude fetish. I am a secretive long-haired dude.
Let us discuss preferred restaurants.
You have a secret long-haired dude fetish. I am a secretive long-haired dude.
Let us discuss preferred restaurants.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I dunno, cpnglxynchos keeps standing me up. I don't know if I can ever trust again. Besides, my name is not Kate.
also: lols for the secretive part.
I dunno, cpnglxynchos keeps standing me up. I don't know if I can ever trust again. Besides, my name is not Kate.
also: lols for the secretive part.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I have love enough for two. Four, if you count Michael Stipe and Terry Gilliam.
I have love enough for two. Four, if you count Michael Stipe and Terry Gilliam.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Awww, that's sweet. (Michael Stipe, really? He looks so much like a leathery, anorexic piece of lumber.) BUT...neither here nore there, as my attentions have been caught by another...
Awww, that's sweet. (Michael Stipe, really? He looks so much like a leathery, anorexic piece of lumber.) BUT...neither here nore there, as my attentions have been caught by another...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And Terry Gilliam looks like a flesh-coloured watermelon that's been gently tapped with a wooden mallet over and over for nine years. I'm not in it for their looks, here.
And Terry Gilliam looks like a flesh-coloured watermelon that's been gently tapped with a wooden mallet over and over for nine years. I'm not in it for their looks, here.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Hee! Wasn't gonna talk any trash about TG, 'cause he's a homeboy from way back, but...you nailed it. Er, you are exactly right.
Hee! Wasn't gonna talk any trash about TG, 'cause he's a homeboy from way back, but...you nailed it. Er, you are exactly right.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
hey, babe, hey, we still have next weekend...we can work it out...make it work...get work done..work..um...work..work...work.
[/morse code]
hey, babe, hey, we still have next weekend...we can work it out...make it work...get work done..work..um...work..work...work.
[/morse code]
bluemoon72
+0 -0
is 'work' a dot or a dash?
is 'work' a dot or a dash?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it is a dot.
it is a dot.
granularsilica
+0 -0
When I was a student, I cut my hair with a cheap Bic razor, which only had one blade in those days. I grab a hunk, then slice a hunk off. Worked great. Looked like shit, but that was the style.
When I was a student, I cut my hair with a cheap Bic razor, which only had one blade in those days. I grab a hunk, then slice a hunk off. Worked great. Looked like shit, but that was the style.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
as i'm looking for employment, looking like that is not in my best interests.
which obviously means i should go to college
as i'm looking for employment, looking like that is not in my best interests.
which obviously means i should go to college
streever
+0 -0
get that z0rmulaut on global ignore
it's the usual troll
get that z0rmulaut on global ignore
it's the usual troll
9
+0 -0
hey if you wanna make more comments you have to read some strips first feel free to use my script reading tool:
fvjdvdfvdfvfd
hey if you wanna make more comments you have to read some strips first feel free to use my script reading tool:
fvjdvdfvdfvfd
re5urgam
+0 -0
Would it be "who m did Beef desert?"
Would it be "who m did Beef desert?"
re5urgam
+0 -0
I am seriously asking, by the way. Clarification.
I am seriously asking, by the way. Clarification.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah, that sounds like the truth.
yeah, that sounds like the truth.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i say it should be 'who' 'cos then it fits in with the five-w style the rest of this comic has..and also 'cos the last time i checked, 'whom' was not one of the 'w's.
i say it should be 'who' 'cos then it fits in with the five-w style the rest of this comic has..and also 'cos the last time i checked, 'whom' was not one of the 'w's.
jaldor
+0 -0
Chris Onstadt totally hates dogs.
Chris Onstadt totally hates dogs.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Why does Onstad say "baby dog" instead of "puppy"?
Why does Onstad say "baby dog" instead of "puppy"?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I think this newsletter is bordering on the Philippe-esque, that's why.
I think this newsletter is bordering on the Philippe-esque, that's why.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
DONE! [ting!]
DONE! [ting!]
awksedperl
+0 -0
Eh. I would've preferred this arc having wrapped up with more showing and less telling.
Eh. I would've preferred this arc having wrapped up with more showing and less telling.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
esxserpt form my twitter feed:
hartutwoteel8
esxserpt form my twitter feed:
hartutwoteel8
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
Is this you?
Is this you?
9
+0 -0
wow... I'm not sure if I'm ready for this...
wow... I'm not sure if I'm ready for this...
puguglypress
+0 -0
Right, this might be like Evil Aliens bad.
Right, this might be like Evil Aliens bad.
streever
+0 -0
don't... don't read it. you won't feel the same after.
don't... don't read it. you won't feel the same after.
liver
+0 -0
if someone with downs syndrome or some such similar thing started posting on Assetbar, how would you know?
We can all recognize the stereotypical speech slur of downs syndrome, but is there a recognizable component to downs syndrome message board prose?
I am tempted to join a downs syndrome support group mailing list to find out... but I'm also lazy. It's gonna have to be one of those projects for when I'm incredibly bored and have more time on my hands and the loli hentai chat room goes down.
if someone with downs syndrome or some such similar thing started posting on Assetbar, how would you know?
We can all recognize the stereotypical speech slur of downs syndrome, but is there a recognizable component to downs syndrome message board prose?
I am tempted to join a downs syndrome support group mailing list to find out... but I'm also lazy. It's gonna have to be one of those projects for when I'm incredibly bored and have more time on my hands and the loli hentai chat room goes down.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Short words. Simple concepts. Bad typing. Hey, gladX!
Short words. Simple concepts. Bad typing. Hey, gladX!
liver
+0 -0
yeah but that's everyone on Assetbatr
yeah but that's everyone on Assetbatr
stereo
+0 -0
Glad doesn't use short words or simple concepts, in fact he's one of the more eloquent posters. It's just not all spelled right.
Glad doesn't use short words or simple concepts, in fact he's one of the more eloquent posters. It's just not all spelled right.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he makes excellent essay fodder, too.
he makes excellent essay fodder, too.
liver
+0 -0
new question: At what age is it okay to allow your daughter to revel in slutty femininity. I'm not saying to actually fuck around but to do everything but. Flirt and dress like a slut and so on. How do you differentiate slutty femininity from 'normal' socially acceptable femininity. If you want to support your daughter in her own individuality but one also also wants to provide a good healthy structure and environment for her growing up, where do you draw the line and say to her that she is okay being who she is and you support her or that she is a slut and if she doesn't stop it you're going to beat her? (Or whatever form of discipline your MO calls for.)
thanks just wondering
new question: At what age is it okay to allow your daughter to revel in slutty femininity. I'm not saying to actually fuck around but to do everything but. Flirt and dress like a slut and so on. How do you differentiate slutty femininity from 'normal' socially acceptable femininity. If you want to support your daughter in her own individuality but one also also wants to provide a good healthy structure and environment for her growing up, where do you draw the line and say to her that she is okay being who she is and you support her or that she is a slut and if she doesn't stop it you're going to beat her? (Or whatever form of discipline your MO calls for.)
thanks just wondering
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Up yours if you're serious, but not up yours if you're not.
--*<< Ray >>*--
Up yours if you're serious, but not up yours if you're not.
--*<< Ray >>*--
liver
+0 -1
I sometimes wonder if any women get sexually aroused from giving birth? Ya know... think about it... there's how many billion people on earth? Every last one of them had to be given birth to. Maybe minus a few where the mother was out cold on anesthetics for a c section or some such. But then add a bunch for all the miscarriages and still births and so on that never made it into the general population. So out of all those billions of bitches giving birth, you know at least some of them have to get mad horny as all hell about it. All rubbing the bloody placenta all over their titties and such. Are you still reading? Why are you still reading this? What the fuck is wrong with you?
I sometimes wonder if any women get sexually aroused from giving birth? Ya know... think about it... there's how many billion people on earth? Every last one of them had to be given birth to. Maybe minus a few where the mother was out cold on anesthetics for a c section or some such. But then add a bunch for all the miscarriages and still births and so on that never made it into the general population. So out of all those billions of bitches giving birth, you know at least some of them have to get mad horny as all hell about it. All rubbing the bloody placenta all over their titties and such. Are you still reading? Why are you still reading this? What the fuck is wrong with you?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that placenta is for my use. that's right. i told that doctor that i wanted it carted out to me on a metal wheelie-tray with those chocolate-brown sporks and knives they have down in the hospital's cafeteria. that plan never came to fruition, as i was bedside when it departed but hellz yes i took that thing in my hands and tore into that mother (heh) like there weren't 15 mortified, yelling people actively becoming ill. i chortled and roared afterwards, pretending like i was a Tyrannosaurus rex complete with particles of previous prey still betwixt my teeth, pink lines of saliva running this way and that. i began stomping down the hall and around the floor's waiting room, opening and closing my jaws, chomping at other visitors and their terrified five-year-old sons. i felt charged with incredible energy. the street below began to blur. maybe it was just a psychological reaction to my new child. maybe it was the fact that MY new family had NO way of supporting itself or that i hadn't slept during those thirty six hours of labor. wait, was the nurse doing a James Earl Jones impression? the lamps slant. a snake rode a motorcycle seven mile--
when i came to, i was in a bed next to my wife, still sporting my new half-red Hanes. i reached out to her and she handed our baby child over to me where i cradled it until the hungries struck.
now, why did you read all of that ?
that placenta is for my use. that's right. i told that doctor that i wanted it carted out to me on a metal wheelie-tray with those chocolate-brown sporks and knives they have down in the hospital's cafeteria. that plan never came to fruition, as i was bedside when it departed but hellz yes i took that thing in my hands and tore into that mother (heh) like there weren't 15 mortified, yelling people actively becoming ill. i chortled and roared afterwards, pretending like i was a Tyrannosaurus rex complete with particles of previous prey still betwixt my teeth, pink lines of saliva running this way and that. i began stomping down the hall and around the floor's waiting room, opening and closing my jaws, chomping at other visitors and their terrified five-year-old sons. i felt charged with incredible energy. the street below began to blur. maybe it was just a psychological reaction to my new child. maybe it was the fact that MY new family had NO way of supporting itself or that i hadn't slept during those thirty six hours of labor. wait, was the nurse doing a James Earl Jones impression? the lamps slant. a snake rode a motorcycle seven mile--
when i came to, i was in a bed next to my wife, still sporting my new half-red Hanes. i reached out to her and she handed our baby child over to me where i cradled it until the hungries struck.
now, why did you read all of that ?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
*nod*
*nod*
liver
+0 -0
damn... that was pretty good. I was laughing uncontrollably so much it kept interrupting my reading, tears streaming down and such. I might not be normal, but that's okay with meeeee.
damn... that was pretty good. I was laughing uncontrollably so much it kept interrupting my reading, tears streaming down and such. I might not be normal, but that's okay with meeeee.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
because it was a good, wholesome, family-centered love story.
because it was a good, wholesome, family-centered love story.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
NOT YOU!!
NOT YOU!!
rachel
+1 -0
hey man, killer civic!
hey man, killer civic!
gyrate
+0 -0
You mean the Civic that Ray... T-BONED ?
You mean the Civic that Ray... T-BONED ?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
the Civic was the first car to ever get its t-bone on, little man!
the Civic was the first car to ever get its t-bone on, little man!
u235
+1 -0
"Regularly t-boned"? I imagine Ray is not a good driver, but that seems pretty severe. That's got to be hell on the insurance premiums. Does he have spare Escalades in his garage? This seems likely to me.
"Regularly t-boned"? I imagine Ray is not a good driver, but that seems pretty severe. That's got to be hell on the insurance premiums. Does he have spare Escalades in his garage? This seems likely to me.
cpnglxynchos
+7 -0
no, he typically stumbles, bruised and bloodied, back to the Cadillac dealership and shoves several stacks of hundos on the front desk. they have a person stationed there around the clock for this exact reason, one dual-bulb fluorescent lit, thrice-shuffled papers...guy at the desk doesn't even look up anymore. just tosses a key and mumbles the vehicle's number. a quiet wfff-tmp accompanies Ray's departure, the signal that the salesman can break out his flask.
Yep, I've got that sales record for damn sure now, and that promotion, too! God, I can't wait to tell Stella ! Jeff smiled at the thought, taking a swig from his tin container. Eat your heart out, Leo, you ol' blowhard . Jeff reminisced on his fallen comrade of years, eventually sighing to say, " Here's to you and yers, man ..."
GULP
no, he typically stumbles, bruised and bloodied, back to the Cadillac dealership and shoves several stacks of hundos on the front desk. they have a person stationed there around the clock for this exact reason, one dual-bulb fluorescent lit, thrice-shuffled papers...guy at the desk doesn't even look up anymore. just tosses a key and mumbles the vehicle's number. a quiet wfff-tmp accompanies Ray's departure, the signal that the salesman can break out his flask.
Yep, I've got that sales record for damn sure now, and that promotion, too! God, I can't wait to tell Stella ! Jeff smiled at the thought, taking a swig from his tin container. Eat your heart out, Leo, you ol' blowhard . Jeff reminisced on his fallen comrade of years, eventually sighing to say, " Here's to you and yers, man ..."
GULP
streever
+0 -0
excellent a would read again
excellent a would read again
anindexofmetals
+0 -0
Splendidly done.
Splendidly done.
danielcrow
+0 -1
I feel bad that we have sent Chris to his sisters wedding directly after criticizing his shitty, shitty arc.
I feel bad that we have sent Chris to his sisters wedding directly after criticizing his shitty, shitty arc.
duck
+0 -0
Yeah, perhaps we should all chip in for something on the registry
Yeah, perhaps we should all chip in for something on the registry
hamscout
+9 -0
Something like... THESE KNIVES?
Something like... THESE KNIVES?
bluemoon72
+1 -0
dammit, what a time to run out of chubbies!
dammit, what a time to run out of chubbies!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Gotcha back.
Gotcha back.
lolsworth
+1 -1
And now you know the rest of the story.
And now you know the rest of the story.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i suggest Assetbar movie club...where we decide some movie and we all have to watch it that week.
i am so alone .
i suggest Assetbar movie club...where we decide some movie and we all have to watch it that week.
i am so alone .
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Oh noes...I found this when stalking greenkoolayd's comments:
cpnglxynchos ยป neu 1 years ago
holy crap i think i have that.
the girlfriend tells me i sometimes cease breathing and then she pushes on me. then i wake up all frustrated like Beef.
you no longer have this girlfriend? I hope you are better off for this.
Oh noes...I found this when stalking greenkoolayd's comments:
cpnglxynchos ยป neu 1 years ago
holy crap i think i have that.
the girlfriend tells me i sometimes cease breathing and then she pushes on me. then i wake up all frustrated like Beef.
you no longer have this girlfriend? I hope you are better off for this.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
nope. i have no girlfriend right now, basically 'cos two-timing the ladies is terrible and typically ends with Incredible Death..and neither of them really wanting to be with you anymore.
nope. i have no girlfriend right now, basically 'cos two-timing the ladies is terrible and typically ends with Incredible Death..and neither of them really wanting to be with you anymore.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
you get both a [[high5]] and a [[slap upside your head]]
you get both a [[high5]] and a [[slap upside your head]]
thane
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
anindexofmetals
+0 -0
Giuseppe turns in his grave.
Giuseppe turns in his grave.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's Predator meets Carrot Juice Is Murder .
it's Predator meets Carrot Juice Is Murder .
octafish
+1 -0
If the predator was a Gremlin. One of my favorite Christmas films BTW, after Die Hard, Die Hard 2, and The Muppet Christmas Carol...
If the predator was a Gremlin. One of my favorite Christmas films BTW, after Die Hard, Die Hard 2, and The Muppet Christmas Carol...
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Has no one noticed this?! I get my fondest wish, short strips every day. And yes, that's what she said.
Quote:
There will be a new season of one-off comics when I return on Monday
Has no one noticed this?! I get my fondest wish, short strips every day. And yes, that's what she said.
brokeaccount
+0 -2
I, too, am excited. Also worried, because what if the one-offs suck as much as the arcs have? I might have to do myself in by pouring boiling gravy into my eyes.
I, too, am excited. Also worried, because what if the one-offs suck as much as the arcs have? I might have to do myself in by pouring boiling gravy into my eyes.
neonfreon
+0 -0
Dear sir, he didn't say every day. Just one off.
- Thanks
Neon Freon III
Dear sir, he didn't say every day. Just one off.
- Thanks
Neon Freon III
granularsilica
+0 -0
We shall see.
We shall see.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this, that which he mentions, in this explanatory statement, is true, meaning many commas may be utilized, improperly, not entirely unlike your typical, poorly-written indie film's script, making its contrived plot, at the very, very least, difficult to follow, much less enjoyable, what with the juxtaposed filmography of a billowing ex-Broadway ballerina, blubbering justifiably when subjected to bellows of an uber-objective director, which more often than not concluded in sobs from the primadonna, confirming the entire production and the lives of everyone involved are a sham and a mistake, if not a crime against the glorious, storied artform of film, as well as against humanity.
this, that which he mentions, in this explanatory statement, is true, meaning many commas may be utilized, improperly, not entirely unlike your typical, poorly-written indie film's script, making its contrived plot, at the very, very least, difficult to follow, much less enjoyable, what with the juxtaposed filmography of a billowing ex-Broadway ballerina, blubbering justifiably when subjected to bellows of an uber-objective director, which more often than not concluded in sobs from the primadonna, confirming the entire production and the lives of everyone involved are a sham and a mistake, if not a crime against the glorious, storied artform of film, as well as against humanity.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Why was this comment made.
Why was this comment made.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Why find out?
Why find out?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh, i wrote it in half-response to the large run-on sentence comments above.
oh, i wrote it in half-response to the large run-on sentence comments above.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
and because his raging hormones are making simple thought nigh unto impossible.
and because his raging hormones are making simple thought nigh unto impossible.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
heh, I said hor mones.
heh, I said hor mones.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
heh, you said 'i'.
heh, you said 'i'.
granularsilica
+0 -0
How do you make a whore moan? Don't pay her.
How do you make a whore moan? Don't pay her.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
liver
+0 -0
one is gay?
one is gay?
mr-siegal
+0 -0
You can't hear an enzyme.
You can't hear an enzyme.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
Suck on my subordinate conjunction.
Suck on my subordinate conjunction.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
1A$t 60ts!! Wheee.
1A$t 60ts!! Wheee.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm sorry what.
I'm sorry what.
karljw
+0 -0
i think he was going for a sarcastic "last post"
i think he was going for a sarcastic "last post"
skiddyfisk
+0 -2
i like how he only has to take time off from the free comic
i like how he only has to take time off from the free comic
falseprophet
+1 -0
Every time I look at the Magistrate of the Quarternary I can't help but think of this Perry Bible Fellowship strip. And that makes me happy.
Every time I look at the Magistrate of the Quarternary I can't help but think of this Perry Bible Fellowship strip. And that makes me happy.
sardoniclaconic
+0 -0
I knew the Magistrate reminded me of something, but until you posted that link I couldn't put my finger on what it was. A v-chub for you.
I knew the Magistrate reminded me of something, but until you posted that link I couldn't put my finger on what it was. A v-chub for you.
expellens
+0 -0
I feel semi-vindicated that I'd predicted Beef's reincarnation as a Magreaux dog. Not that any of it matters since the wheel was made from strew off parts of old K-cars. CH can afford to tool around in a sweet Fokker tri-plane, but can he fashion a wheel of reincarnation that anyone who's ever owned a Ronco pocket-fisherman wouldn't reject? Nooooooo.
I feel semi-vindicated that I'd predicted Beef's reincarnation as a Magreaux dog. Not that any of it matters since the wheel was made from strew off parts of old K-cars. CH can afford to tool around in a sweet Fokker tri-plane, but can he fashion a wheel of reincarnation that anyone who's ever owned a Ronco pocket-fisherman wouldn't reject? Nooooooo.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's not like those machines are mass-produced. it can run all post-WWII tin with milky white paint and graying black. i mean, it's not like History needs it or anything.
it's not like those machines are mass-produced. it can run all post-WWII tin with milky white paint and graying black. i mean, it's not like History needs it or anything.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Tomorrow is Monday. I am excited for a new strip yet expecting to be disappointed. Maybe Onstad is just trying to teach me how to weep the weepy-weep way.
Tomorrow is Monday. I am excited for a new strip yet expecting to be disappointed. Maybe Onstad is just trying to teach me how to weep the weepy-weep way.
noah_j
+0 -0
A BLOOOO BLA BLOO BLOO BLOOOOOOOO!
A BLOOOO BLA BLOO BLOO BLOOOOOOOO!
liver
+0 -0
so I have this box of zatarains new orleans style chicken gumbo rice mix, and it comes with the rice. Well, the rice it comes with is shit. most american rice is shit, actually. so I had to do my best to pick the rice out of the rice mix so I could put the rice mix in with some Basmati rice in the rice steamer. fortunately the seasoning mix was not completely mixed with the shit zatarains rice so I didn't get too much shit rice mixed in and I didn't loose too much seasoning. I should put the shit zatarains rice in an envelope and mail it back to them. "here is your shit rice you assholes I would rather eat anthrax than this shit"
so I have this box of zatarains new orleans style chicken gumbo rice mix, and it comes with the rice. Well, the rice it comes with is shit. most american rice is shit, actually. so I had to do my best to pick the rice out of the rice mix so I could put the rice mix in with some Basmati rice in the rice steamer. fortunately the seasoning mix was not completely mixed with the shit zatarains rice so I didn't get too much shit rice mixed in and I didn't loose too much seasoning. I should put the shit zatarains rice in an envelope and mail it back to them. "here is your shit rice you assholes I would rather eat anthrax than this shit"
re5urgam
+0 -0
This is wonderful.
This is wonderful.
all-star951
+0 -0
Are you high?
Are you high?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Nerdcore Rising is a good documentary. i half-expected to see O appear when Living On The Corner Of Dude and Catastrophe came on.
Nerdcore Rising is a good documentary. i half-expected to see O appear when Living On The Corner Of Dude and Catastrophe came on.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Man, there is so much rambling in this particular comment section. Yet, Belgand, Guitarhero, and sje (barring a brief cameo) are nowhere to be found. How'd that happen?
Man, there is so much rambling in this particular comment section. Yet, Belgand, Guitarhero, and sje (barring a brief cameo) are nowhere to be found. How'd that happen?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
school, probably.
school, probably.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
No, I mean why are there so many posts when the most frequent posters are gone? And what would it be like if they were here.
No, I mean why are there so many posts when the most frequent posters are gone? And what would it be like if they were here.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the torch is passed. and you only need to look at 'Harper's 27 Women' to see what it'd be like.
the torch is passed. and you only need to look at 'Harper's 27 Women' to see what it'd be like.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Man, tgh and sje haven't been regular posters in ages; the only time I see a highlighted tgh comment is when I'm looking at a strip I haven't been to in 7 months.
Belgand stopped posting regularly not too long afterwards, it seemed.
Man, tgh and sje haven't been regular posters in ages; the only time I see a highlighted tgh comment is when I'm looking at a strip I haven't been to in 7 months.
Belgand stopped posting regularly not too long afterwards, it seemed.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
And Hedonismbot, it kills me that we lost him. He never stopped being cool.
And Hedonismbot, it kills me that we lost him. He never stopped being cool.
lolsworth
+0 -0
Wow, this storyline works so much better all at once.
Wow, this storyline works so much better all at once.
Cute, Chris.
I don't get it
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by count_blah, Absurdist, earendil)
Um.
You know, I bet that could be found...out there... somewhere.
I think Warhol may have done one of those while on a particularly nasty concoction. "Dick on Arcimboldo v. 1-4"
Dude all movin in a hula-hoop motion, penii all around his hips, gyrating, 12 ladies in a circle around him all yelling YES
3 other ladies elsewhere in the room with a detatched penis of their own
also yelling YES
Penis hula -- how can I ever get that out of my head?
A man in the corner juggling pineapples.
Good antidote.
Necessary antidote.
here you go:
https://jessfink.com/Chester5000XYV/?p=201
What. The. Fuck.
Vert!
well okay then that is what thegoblins was talking about. in other news that comic would be a good tool to explain sex to kids.
what the fuck am I reading
A comment left by greenkoolayd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Cycerin, Omegatron, camidumas)
then read to the end!
(Wazza takes one for the team)
I also took one for the team and felt kinda bad for the dude made of flesh the entire way through. And I ain't got shit against robots before anyone says that.
Don't feel bad for the flesh dude. He created the robot to gain respite from his wife's demands.
If I had such a device, I wouldn't have to feign unrousable sleep - just give her the key with the admonition: "don't wake the kids."
but then he acted like a jealous bitch because his wife was having sex with the robot instead of him.......
Nonsense. He just remembered that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
He was totally distant from her for a long time. Sex is an important part of relationships, and he was denying her that closeness. Then he gets jealous and destroys something she loves when he stopped giving her love in the first place. He failed to see the interconnectedness of love and sex.
I think the unifying element is intimacy, which comes in many forms, but which so many think is strictly butt-naked stuff.
yup.
thanks, Hollywood.
so, what youre saying is, bitches dig sex with clothes on, as well?
Sometimes holding hands, little pecks on the cheek, a light back rub (fully clothed) can be so arousing and so much more conducive to making you like and trust a person than sex ever could.
Of course, you could do all these things and at the end it could all still be a lie :(
backrubs always lead to sex(as long as alcohol and narcotics are involved). just ask me...
Well, it would make me want to jump someone I already felt kindly towards.
Agreed a million times over with the above comments. Sometimes a tender caress on the neck or turning to hold someone's hand is all the intimacy a person could ever want. However, sometimes it's awesome to just get mad rutty.
The Chester 5000 comic really, honestly touched me...the depth of emotion and caring, the passion, the dedication to each other...robot or no, that was pure romance. As someone who lives in a similar environment as the Scientist and his wife, it quite honestly broke my heart in spots. Intimacy both includes and far surpasses sex. Perhaps I'm a naive romantic, but I truly believe that if you have devoted love and true intimacy that includes sex, you will have the depths of all of the universe unfurled before you.
I realize now what I meant to say in that sleep-deprived ramble above was that I have had 10 years of intimacy but not sex, and I don't know if it is worth it anymore. Also, why am I discussing this on Assetbar???
What the hell's wrong with him?
girl high five! *slap*
I got the sense that all might not be well in the bluemoon household. I hope you work out whatever it is that's going on. It just doesn't seem right to have a sexless marriage, particularly when you're still so young.
Thegoblins I must say that was downright inconsiderate of the possible situations that might be in play.
Thegoblins Oprahed when she should have Harpoed....
Ohhhhhhh Shitttttttt!
I know. I'm making all sorts of assumptions.
im sure she will appreciate your concern, miss goblins. im aware of the situation....
She did imply that she was not necessarily always content with her lot. So perhaps some sort of action should be taken. That's all I was saying.
I have been content. I am no longer content. :)
I have decided to go (alone) to marriage counseling to work out my feelings and determine my best options moving forward. Action commencing!
also, green was being sincere.
Nope, she's 100% right. I'm in a rather unusual situation, with my husband but it's not something like a physical disability that prevents sexual activity.
I saw it more as though he created the robot because he couldn't satisfy her demands, more than just to get away from them. Maybe I'm just bitter acause of how my last relationship ended. Stupid washing machines.
She....she was two-timing you with the washing machine?
oh yeah, those things have hella vibrations.
spin me right round baby right round
Like a sweater, baby, right round round round
what the fuck, mang ?
That same lady has a picture of sweater bondage. YES I CHECKED ALL HER SHIT OUT.
i dont get sweater bondage....
I didn't know it actually existed. I don't get normal bondage all that much either because I'd like to be able to kill my sex partner if need be.
thegoblins is kinky
more at 11
ohhhhh.... you like it praying mantis-style.
If I had a chubby to give, I would, for literate entomology.
we are perfect for each other.
was your declaration of adoration meant for thegoblins, me, or greenkoolayd?
that is for me to know and you ladies to fight over.
at T.G.I. Fridays on the fourth, festivities start at six, main event at nine until question marks, 'cos i'm quirky like that!!
I'd rather just maim you instead. Is that okay?
bonus points if you graze her, as well.
*shakes head*
did i really just type that...
Cpn has a thing for really light injury
pass it on
a] if it doesnt hurt, at least a little, youre not doing it right.
b] for instance, biting... im game for up until there are teeth marks.
b] Teeth marks are okay. I'm game up until the skin is broken.
b] Ouchies on the nips
well of course not there. i can't imagine anyone ever enjoying that.
er, lightly...
Also some are less sensitive than others.
But too hard is pretty awful.
also yes.
Ooh, definitely agree with you. Lightly is great, but too hard is way awful.
Hear hear! Lightly=heaven. Hard=running out of the room yelling in pain.
yes.
We are perfect for each other.
Perhaps I'm just in a naughty mood, but I read 'graze' as synonymous with 'eat lightly'.
you would...
btw, my above comment was directed at you.
thus the head shaking.
Which head?
You are like a green barret of getting rutty.
I found this comment to be hilarious.
KNIFE IN YOUR SHOE
'nuf said
How do you know a robot porn is bad?
IT MUST BE
WHY FIND OUT
[curt nod eyes closed, ticks box on clipboard]
WHEN IT DOES NOT MAKE ME EXPEL THE TICKER TAPE OF LOVE
BEEP
how do you know heroin is bad?
Do I really need to list all the people who have died from overdoses?
he means that it's the same sort of question that reserves the same sort of answer.
I actually liked the robot porn, because the robot is choooo chweeeet.
put the one in the zero and share that algorithm with me-uh...to-NITE-uh!
A couple of people who did heroin at us but did not die of ODing: John Lennon, Kurt Cobain. The end. Thank you.
um, drugs are neither "bad" nor "good". they have no inherent moral properties. the choices that people make concerning inanimate objects are "bad" or "good". just thought that the intellectually inclined people on here would realize that. anything can be done in moderation. just because people choose not to doesn't mean its impossible.
this is a forum about a comic about cartoon cats; you save your logic for the hadron collider messageboards, supergenius.
They are making love. Robot-hominid love. That's what the fuck.
Goddamn it, I said Tesla would fuck everything up with his Eleck-tricity. Now his robots are fucking our women.
...Fuck.
Quote:
Which is more than he would ever do.
Not only do we have electric arguing machines that turn honest men into prancing, affected fairies, but the robots are ensuring that the womenfolk are satisfied.
In the end, Tesla has last laugh.
Did you see the nasa-lingus?
i am afraid that if I read the entire comic I will never have sex
Awww, I like it quite a bit.
https://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=61
did he lose one once and find it in a yard sale for $22?
i would not.
I'm pretty sure he's taking the piss out of us
Onstad is making fun of us.
Careful, People Who Are Ungrateful for Webcomics and People Who Ambiguously Inflect Text are reincarnated as the left and right front quarter panels of Leo's Civic.
truth.
Crappy Little Bullshit Men get reincarnated as squirrels.
You get to f-f-f-fuck all day and do drugs but you also die very easily
name one
1. Todd.
name 1 man not 1 squirrel thanks
Danny Bonaduce.
I read this comment and only saw "1 man 1 squirrel"
Oh, the images it conjures...
f-f-fuck you neonfreon! I ain't gotta do s-s-shit! You ain't even said w-w-whether you wanted a man or a s-s-squirrel!
now gimme a twenny! f-f-f-fuckface!
Joe Pesci
[i]You get to f-f-f-fuck all day and do drugs but you also die very easily.[/i}
You just described 80% of all my cousins.
80% of each cousin?
well, that just rough aggregate. Sometimes they only die on the inside.
how do you deal with them doing cocaine at you
or f-f-f-fuckin' in your bed?
I've found that a video camera works well... Just stand there, hovering over them, camera in one hand, lit cigarette in the other. Don't forget the creepy stare.
does that also work for when they do cocaine or other drugs at you
Not a bad deal. I'll take it!
You have really good comment/username synergy.