wehavemagnums
+42 -0
The last panel reminds me of that store clerk scene from the Fight Club film.
The last panel reminds me of that store clerk scene from the Fight Club film.
waddlerz
+0 -0
If only Ray would have had a gun, or a hose
If only Ray would have had a gun, or a hose
lolsworth
+0 -0
Tomorrow, Milkin's breakfast will be the best breakfast he ever tasted
Tomorrow, Milkin's breakfast will be the best breakfast he ever tasted
alejandroadam
+5 -0
this is probably the best scam I have heard to get people who arn't interested to pay attention to religion for a few seconds, but it's kinda like how the army puts adds for terrible jobs in the newspaper but the number is actually the army recutment office.
this is probably the best scam I have heard to get people who arn't interested to pay attention to religion for a few seconds, but it's kinda like how the army puts adds for terrible jobs in the newspaper but the number is actually the army recutment office.
djwhiterabbit
+73 -0
There's a another girl in the dopeman's life,
Not quite a bitch, but far from a wife,
She%u2019s called %u2018The Strawberry%u2019 and everybody know,
Strawberry, Strawberry, is the neighbourhood ho.
Do anything for a hit or two,
Give the bitch a rock and she%u2019ll fuck your whole damn crew,
It might be your wife and it might make you sick,
Come home and see her mouth on the dopeman's dick.
Strawberry, just look you'll see her,
But don't fuck around, she'll give you gonnorhea,
If people out there ain't hip to the fact,
Strawberry is a girl selling pussy for crack, to the
DOPEMAN DOPEMAN.
There's a another girl in the dopeman's life,
Not quite a bitch, but far from a wife,
She%u2019s called %u2018The Strawberry%u2019 and everybody know,
Strawberry, Strawberry, is the neighbourhood ho.
Do anything for a hit or two,
Give the bitch a rock and she%u2019ll fuck your whole damn crew,
It might be your wife and it might make you sick,
Come home and see her mouth on the dopeman's dick.
Strawberry, just look you'll see her,
But don't fuck around, she'll give you gonnorhea,
If people out there ain't hip to the fact,
Strawberry is a girl selling pussy for crack, to the
DOPEMAN DOPEMAN.
djwhiterabbit
+1 -1
(and apparently there shall be No Editing of fux0red mistakes. alas.)
(and apparently there shall be No Editing of fux0red mistakes. alas.)
spinynorman
+13 -0
don't that just make pickles all over your parade
don't that just make pickles all over your parade
zeal
+1 -0
Ewww.
Ewww.
unquotable
+14 -0
I had to get my brother to beatbox while I read that out loud, kudos for you.
I had to get my brother to beatbox while I read that out loud, kudos for you.
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
Did he also sample the rest of the Ns for the echo at the hook? Also, did he imitate Jaime the Science Friend at the end, just like Eazy? I'm 80% that was Eazy. Was it Eazy?
Did he also sample the rest of the Ns for the echo at the hook? Also, did he imitate Jaime the Science Friend at the end, just like Eazy? I'm 80% that was Eazy. Was it Eazy?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Hahaha, this is hilarious. I need more details. Did he question it? Is he an Achewood reader? Can he beatbox well?
Hahaha, this is hilarious. I need more details. Did he question it? Is he an Achewood reader? Can he beatbox well?
unquotable
+0 -0
No, no, yes.
No, no, yes.
aliiis
+3 -0
I am completely with Hecci on the hilariousness issue. This is the sort of thing that siblings should do for each other.
I am completely with Hecci on the hilariousness issue. This is the sort of thing that siblings should do for each other.
laserblade
+3 -1
When I read that, I hear Johnny Mathis singing it.
When I read that, I hear Johnny Mathis singing it.
tekende
+1 -0
I hear Tom Waits, in a tune similar to "Ice Cream Man".
I hear Tom Waits, in a tune similar to "Ice Cream Man".
rocketbunny
+0 -0
Same, however, Eyeball Kid.
Same, however, Eyeball Kid.
tttt2
+0 -0
somehow I read this as a Curtis Mayfield song
somehow I read this as a Curtis Mayfield song
untilyouaresonude
+0 -0
A comment left by untilyouaresonude was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by subtlet, Moraiat, farqussus, Dwilow)
A comment left by untilyouaresonude was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by subtlet, Moraiat, farqussus, Dwilow)
aperson
+0 -1
Milklin - just LEAVE.
Milklin - just LEAVE.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Friendly up, aperson!
Friendly up, aperson!
cdl146
+26 -1
It's funny, because Jehovah's Witnesses already believe in a sort of religious exclusivity, in that they believe only 144,000 people will be allowed into heaven. Which makes me wonder why they're so desperate to recruit, seems like they're just making more competition for themselves.
It's funny, because Jehovah's Witnesses already believe in a sort of religious exclusivity, in that they believe only 144,000 people will be allowed into heaven. Which makes me wonder why they're so desperate to recruit, seems like they're just making more competition for themselves.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Awesome when a religion decides there's a lucky door prize... or a golden ticket! Maybe that's why they recruit, eventually they'll find the sucker with the golden ticket. Beat him over the head for the one-way pass.
Awesome when a religion decides there's a lucky door prize... or a golden ticket! Maybe that's why they recruit, eventually they'll find the sucker with the golden ticket. Beat him over the head for the one-way pass.
tekende
+0 -1
I'm not certain, but I think that's actually Mormonism, not Jehovah's Witness...ism.
I'm not certain, but I think that's actually Mormonism, not Jehovah's Witness...ism.
spenham
+1 -0
If you are referring to the "only 144,000 people get into Heaven" thing, that is the Jehovah's Witnesses.
If you are referring to the "only 144,000 people get into Heaven" thing, that is the Jehovah's Witnesses.
tekende
+8 -0
Huh? Oh, whoops!
Huh? Oh, whoops!
zem
+1 -0
dammit i hate the way you slot in strip dialogue at every opportunity but i'm going to chubby you anyway because this one works so well
dammit i hate the way you slot in strip dialogue at every opportunity but i'm going to chubby you anyway because this one works so well
dartigen
+0 -0
It is easy to confuse your religions, there are so many of them.
It is easy to confuse your religions, there are so many of them.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Sigh...
Tekende thinks that confusing Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons merits a "whoops".
Sigh...
Tekende thinks that confusing Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons merits a "whoops".
tekende
+0 -0
You're damn right I do, i_love_kate.
You're damn right I do, i_love_kate.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I felt the need to do that. I get the impression you like that reference a lot. I get that impression.
I felt the need to do that. I get the impression you like that reference a lot. I get that impression.
tekende
+0 -0
It's true.
It's true.
direhaggis
+1 -0
Straight up. In Revelation 7:3-8 and 14:3-5, the 144,000 are male (and/or lesbian) virgins made up of the twelve tribes of Israel. Even given a non-literalist interpretation about the numbers, the sexing act precludes sitting in the bleachers of Heaven with the HD flat-screens and 1927 Glenfiddich highballs. The Jehova's Witnesseyism franchise should go on just fine with the right marketing, though.
Straight up. In Revelation 7:3-8 and 14:3-5, the 144,000 are male (and/or lesbian) virgins made up of the twelve tribes of Israel. Even given a non-literalist interpretation about the numbers, the sexing act precludes sitting in the bleachers of Heaven with the HD flat-screens and 1927 Glenfiddich highballs. The Jehova's Witnesseyism franchise should go on just fine with the right marketing, though.
dopamine
+3 -0
144,000 is number of those who get into heaven. the rest of the saved get to stay on earth which is made into an planet-wide garden of eden and everyone is perfect.
144,000 is number of those who get into heaven. the rest of the saved get to stay on earth which is made into an planet-wide garden of eden and everyone is perfect.
foetus_punch
+0 -1
Y'know, the at one point in the Old Testament (this lil' kiddo can't quite remember when) the dimensions of Heaven are given. Heaven is fucking massive. Now ay only 144,000 people can fit. They'd get all lonely. Although now that I think of it, trying to apply numbers to a metaphysical concept is just dumb as hell.
Y'know, the at one point in the Old Testament (this lil' kiddo can't quite remember when) the dimensions of Heaven are given. Heaven is fucking massive. Now ay only 144,000 people can fit. They'd get all lonely. Although now that I think of it, trying to apply numbers to a metaphysical concept is just dumb as hell.
darthemed
+1 -0
"I am the Dopeman" seems like it could replace "I am the Walrus" in this space age of ours.
"I am the Dopeman" seems like it could replace "I am the Walrus" in this space age of ours.
mendenbar
+3 -0
"I am the dopeman... they are the dopemen... I am the cactus*... goo goo g'joob"
*SAT analogy - eggman is to walrus as dopeman is to ____
a) pothead
b) prostitute
c) cactus
d) dope
"I am the dopeman... they are the dopemen... I am the cactus*... goo goo g'joob"
*SAT analogy - eggman is to walrus as dopeman is to ____
a) pothead
b) prostitute
c) cactus
d) dope
molesticide
+0 -0
i think that's a trick question.
i think that's a trick question.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Cactus! Is it cactus?
Cactus! Is it cactus?
mikeleffel2
+0 -0
Oh that delicious alt text! Bravo! :)
Oh that delicious alt text! Bravo! :)
ggvaidya
+0 -0
Ray channels Homer Simpson!
Ray channels Homer Simpson!
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
Ray and Beef: Good cop, bad cop.
Ray and Beef: Good cop, bad cop.
luckypyjamas
+1 -0
I like in panel 8 how Milkin is trying to shield himself from Ray's words
I like in panel 8 how Milkin is trying to shield himself from Ray's words
aliiis
+0 -0
Yeah Ray's posture for speaking to smaller folk is seriously pretty threatening
Yeah Ray's posture for speaking to smaller folk is seriously pretty threatening
projectiles
+0 -0
of course you can franchise the lord, milklin. he makes a lot of money come easter time.
of course you can franchise the lord, milklin. he makes a lot of money come easter time.
lowtrees
+1 -0
L.Ron 'Milklin' Hubbard went right on out and started up Scientology. Nice one Ray.
L.Ron 'Milklin' Hubbard went right on out and started up Scientology. Nice one Ray.
shirono
+0 -0
"friendly up" is a great phrase; I intend to use it frequently.
"friendly up" is a great phrase; I intend to use it frequently.
eskimodave
+1 -0
wow, I was not expecting a NWA reference. that was straight outta compton.
wow, I was not expecting a NWA reference. that was straight outta compton.
bozendoka
+0 -0
"You can't franchise the Lord!"
"You didn't just say that."
5'd until I can't 5 no more.
Which is, uh, once.
"You can't franchise the Lord!"
"You didn't just say that."
5'd until I can't 5 no more.
Which is, uh, once.
implode
+0 -0
Damn, Ray has crass sass my doggs.
Damn, Ray has crass sass my doggs.
zem
+0 -0
nice fucking beard, implode's avatar
nice fucking beard, implode's avatar
genequagmire
+0 -0
Is that a fucking MC Brains reference?
Is that a fucking MC Brains reference?
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
how can onstad refer to things that are solely in your head, you freak?
how can onstad refer to things that are solely in your head, you freak?
nrust551
+0 -0
Wherein Ray is a dick to a stranger.
Wherein Ray is a dick to a stranger.
Exclusivity is the way to go in organized religion. Ray is right, as always.