deimosrising
+35 -0
Ray's comedy is not so good, but he has something of a gift for simple, blue collar tragedy.
Ray's comedy is not so good, but he has something of a gift for simple, blue collar tragedy.
fmercury
+42 -0
He's like the Bruce Springsteen of ill-conceived jokes.
He's like the Bruce Springsteen of ill-conceived jokes.
spinynorman
+7 -0
He really puts Atlantic City to shame.
He really puts Atlantic City to shame.
expellens
+6 -0
I had a car. whoa whoa whoa. and then I wrecked it. whoa whoa whoa. and my girl's dad who worked at the steel yards came after me. whoa whoa whoa.
living in america!
I had a car. whoa whoa whoa. and then I wrecked it. whoa whoa whoa. and my girl's dad who worked at the steel yards came after me. whoa whoa whoa.
living in america!
atlanticcity
+19 -0
Scuse me?
Scuse me?
spinynorman
+15 -0
oh, shit
oh, shit
boredom_man
+1 -0
See, in the Mafia's religion, it's considered extremely rude to invest in chicken.
See, in the Mafia's religion, it's considered extremely rude to invest in chicken.
postblank
+19 -0
Well I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk. I mean, not in like with one of those Frampton talk-boxes or anything like that, but I'm pretty expressive in the fashion that I strum my IV-V-I-I changes. I've found the seventh note in scales are apparently a pretty good thing.
Anyway, about the guitar, I got it from a local music shop. Don't get me started on Guitar center. It's a nice PRS copy like the one that Santana guy plays with the inlays of the dolphins on it.
Thunder road.
Well I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk. I mean, not in like with one of those Frampton talk-boxes or anything like that, but I'm pretty expressive in the fashion that I strum my IV-V-I-I changes. I've found the seventh note in scales are apparently a pretty good thing.
Anyway, about the guitar, I got it from a local music shop. Don't get me started on Guitar center. It's a nice PRS copy like the one that Santana guy plays with the inlays of the dolphins on it.
Thunder road.
drake
+1 -0
Nonsense!
But seriously...what??
Nonsense!
But seriously...what??
expellens
+2 -0
holy christ! I saw that Santana guy last night and sure enough, he had a guitar with dolphin inlays on the frets.
and then he talked for 20 minutes about how we're all related and how we're all one...for christ's sake chief, just play the fuggin' dolphin guitar already and lay off the sermonizing...jeeze
holy christ! I saw that Santana guy last night and sure enough, he had a guitar with dolphin inlays on the frets.
and then he talked for 20 minutes about how we're all related and how we're all one...for christ's sake chief, just play the fuggin' dolphin guitar already and lay off the sermonizing...jeeze
belgand
+1 -0
Are you sure that was Santana and not Bono? Could we maybe get them together to do a concert where they just harangue us, but don't actually play music?
I mean, yeah, I feel bad, but you're the one with a hell of a lot more money than me. Stop telling me to care and do something yourself. More than you're already doing that is. If you really cared you give away enough so that you were living on my salary. But I know you won't.
Are you sure that was Santana and not Bono? Could we maybe get them together to do a concert where they just harangue us, but don't actually play music?
I mean, yeah, I feel bad, but you're the one with a hell of a lot more money than me. Stop telling me to care and do something yourself. More than you're already doing that is. If you really cared you give away enough so that you were living on my salary. But I know you won't.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In the end, they do not like his jokes.
In the end, they do not like his jokes.
saint
+2 -0
that second-to-last panel startlingly resembles the last 2 years of my life.
that second-to-last panel startlingly resembles the last 2 years of my life.
saru
+33 -0
Maybe you shouldn't have been in the Taliban.
Maybe you shouldn't have been in the Taliban.
nonanon
+0 -2
Good god. Avatar comment synergy for the fucking WIN.
Good god. Avatar comment synergy for the fucking WIN.
nonanon
+1 -0
THERES SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING PLUS SIGN BETWEEN AVATAR AND COMMENT
CURSE YOU ASSETBAR
THERES SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING PLUS SIGN BETWEEN AVATAR AND COMMENT
CURSE YOU ASSETBAR
dangelder
+12 -0
PARALLEL STRUCTURES DO NOT REQUIRE PUNCTUATION TO DENOTE SIMPLE ASSOCIATION
YOU STILL PREVAIL
PARALLEL STRUCTURES DO NOT REQUIRE PUNCTUATION TO DENOTE SIMPLE ASSOCIATION
YOU STILL PREVAIL
atticusonline
+4 -0
WHY ARE WE YELLING
WHY ARE WE YELLING
tekende
+6 -0
LOUD NOISES!
LOUD NOISES!
all-star951
+3 -0
NONSENSE
NONSENSE
atmus
+8 -0
You screwed up your life! How Come?
You screwed up your life! How Come?
nickb285
+0 -0
It's because of his relation to Rustmouth.
It's because of his relation to Rustmouth.
ih8jonmayr
+0 -0
Achewood can be, and very often is, hilarious without a punchline. Raymond Q. Smuckles, however, cannot.
Achewood can be, and very often is, hilarious without a punchline. Raymond Q. Smuckles, however, cannot.
madrin
+9 -0
ha ha, it's pretty cool that Beef is the last one to leave. Those knuckleheads have been tight since old times.
ha ha, it's pretty cool that Beef is the last one to leave. Those knuckleheads have been tight since old times.
goatmasterflash
+0 -0
Yeah, they were tight like Underoos on a Sumo wrestler. And it also exactly follows the dynamic of Molly hanging out with Teodor at Ray's parties when she gets pissed off with Beef.
Yeah, they were tight like Underoos on a Sumo wrestler. And it also exactly follows the dynamic of Molly hanging out with Teodor at Ray's parties when she gets pissed off with Beef.
katal
+3 -1
That is an excellent joke. I want to tell that joke sometime.
That is an excellent joke. I want to tell that joke sometime.
tekende
+0 -0
I told this joke to my grandmother a few weeks ago. She didn't really find it amusing.
I told this joke to my grandmother a few weeks ago. She didn't really find it amusing.
ham_shoes
+1 -0
Did you tell her to lighten up?
Did you tell her to lighten up?
thommy_h
+13 -0
Ray is completely calm about crashing his car. He's just "fuck, man...look what I did!"
Ray is completely calm about crashing his car. He's just "fuck, man...look what I did!"
sol_tee
+0 -1
beef is so calm about the crash he didn't even know it happened until ray told him
beef is so calm about the crash he didn't even know it happened until ray told him
puguglypress
+0 -0
That's the exact opposite of calm. His icy sarcasm when he says "Are you sure" is totally lost on Ray
That's the exact opposite of calm. His icy sarcasm when he says "Are you sure" is totally lost on Ray
direhaggis
+2 -0
Ray is sweet in his utter ineptness to help the situation.
Ray is sweet in his utter ineptness to help the situation.
1000hz
+16 -0
Everyone's collective anger towards Ray coupled with "Oh neat! Fifty bucks!" absolutely slaughters me.
Everyone's collective anger towards Ray coupled with "Oh neat! Fifty bucks!" absolutely slaughters me.
untilyouaresonude
+9 -0
Ray's so wealthy that a wrecked Escalade is a thing he can leave at the scene.
Ray's so wealthy that a wrecked Escalade is a thing he can leave at the scene.
mattfish
+5 -0
"Are you sure?"
"Are you sure?"
ttagxamm
+8 -1
Whish, I think, is said with deadly, venomous sarcasm, along with "Maybe you could tell us some more of those good jokes that you know."
To which Ray is completely oblivious . I think that's why Beef gets so deadly when it comes down to a friendly cutting session, or when Ray needs a little sass to go with his hangover. Ray is many things, none of which is subtle.
Whish, I think, is said with deadly, venomous sarcasm, along with "Maybe you could tell us some more of those good jokes that you know."
To which Ray is completely oblivious . I think that's why Beef gets so deadly when it comes down to a friendly cutting session, or when Ray needs a little sass to go with his hangover. Ray is many things, none of which is subtle.
ashoykh
+8 -0
I love that Ray is completely unscathed in the accident.
I love that Ray is completely unscathed in the accident.
deancain29
+14 -1
Ray.
Ray.
heavymetaljesus
+1 -0
Hahaha, oh man. "He doesn't have a lot of options"
Hahaha, oh man. "He doesn't have a lot of options"
cousinted
+1 -0
The eleventh panel pretty much sums up Ray's general financial status
The eleventh panel pretty much sums up Ray's general financial status
dougthehead
+0 -0
So does the fifth panel. Upon crashing his Escalade, Ray says, "Oh well!"
So does the fifth panel. Upon crashing his Escalade, Ray says, "Oh well!"
tomsonlocal
+5 -0
Knowing that it happened 7 months ago is an important aspect of the joke.
Knowing that it happened 7 months ago is an important aspect of the joke.
iguessso
+1 -0
" are you sure " made my day
" are you sure " made my day
imbeta
+0 -0
FIFTY bucks?! -- WOW - Who finds that much?!
FIFTY bucks?! -- WOW - Who finds that much?!
bourbonsamurai
+3 -0
I found 180 dollars on the street once. It was pretty fantastic.
I found 180 dollars on the street once. It was pretty fantastic.
expellens
+0 -0
that makes my $60 street find pale in comparison.
damn ye.
that makes my $60 street find pale in comparison.
damn ye.
expellens
+0 -0
that makes my $60 street find pale in comparison.
damn ye.
that makes my $60 street find pale in comparison.
damn ye.
aperson
+6 -0
I make that $120 in all - not bad.
I make that $120 in all - not bad.
dropkickpikachu
+0 -0
You find fifty bucks in stories that you are telling that are just not going very well at all.
You find fifty bucks in stories that you are telling that are just not going very well at all.
dropkickpikachu
+3 -0
It is because by the end of it your story is screwed up pretty bad. You don't have a lot of options.
It is because by the end of it your story is screwed up pretty bad. You don't have a lot of options.
tekende
+2 -0
A couple years ago, my girlfriend/fiance at the time found ten bucks on the street. I was amazed at our good fortune. Later I found out she had actually borrowed the money from one of my friends and then pretended to find it so I wouldn't know.
A couple years ago, my girlfriend/fiance at the time found ten bucks on the street. I was amazed at our good fortune. Later I found out she had actually borrowed the money from one of my friends and then pretended to find it so I wouldn't know.
lucid
+0 -0
That seems an elaborate scheme to avoid being open about borrowing a tenner.
Is it a sitcom situation if somebody forgets to pay the water bill?
That seems an elaborate scheme to avoid being open about borrowing a tenner.
Is it a sitcom situation if somebody forgets to pay the water bill?
foxtrotamend
+1 -0
Oh my god, I just read up to the fourth panel and laughed out loud. Total five because of that. I can't wait to read the rest.
Oh my god, I just read up to the fourth panel and laughed out loud. Total five because of that. I can't wait to read the rest.
paco
+0 -0
I was this guy at my class reunion. I was also very stoned.
I was this guy at my class reunion. I was also very stoned.
darthemed
+0 -0
Did you find $50?
Did you find $50?
zeal
+1 -0
I just realized that while everybody else got pretty beat up in that crash, Ray is completely unharmed.
I just realized that while everybody else got pretty beat up in that crash, Ray is completely unharmed.
bob_lamonta
+0 -0
almost every time my mom tells a joke, this is how it turns out.
almost every time my mom tells a joke, this is how it turns out.
tekende
+2 -0
Listen, I need to borrow some money.
Listen, I need to borrow some money.
drago25
+0 -0
Aww, I would be listening to Ray, dude's talking some awesome jive
Aww, I would be listening to Ray, dude's talking some awesome jive
clockworkorange
+5 -0
I like how Ray crashes the car not just because he's distracted, but because everyone else has shut their eyes out of sheer frustration with Ray, so they can't warn him that he's about to crash the car.
I like how Ray crashes the car not just because he's distracted, but because everyone else has shut their eyes out of sheer frustration with Ray, so they can't warn him that he's about to crash the car.
zeltaen
+0 -0
Even if someone said it long ago, "Oh neat! Fifty bucks!" is a gem.
Even if someone said it long ago, "Oh neat! Fifty bucks!" is a gem.
possums
+0 -0
This is one of my favorite mini-arcs.
This is one of my favorite mini-arcs.
bilingualmonkey
+1 -0
Another gargantuan five.
Another gargantuan five.
jhunter
+0 -0
Ray is basically encapsulated in a bubble wherein nothing bad can penetrate. hell he ain't even banged up from the car crash.
Ray is basically encapsulated in a bubble wherein nothing bad can penetrate. hell he ain't even banged up from the car crash.
jar
+0 -0
Ray's obliviousness and his stupid luck at finding 50 bucks while telling a godawful just makes this strip pure win for me.
Ray's obliviousness and his stupid luck at finding 50 bucks while telling a godawful just makes this strip pure win for me.
jar
+0 -0
"Godawful joke". Damn you assetbar, you claim yet another victim
"Godawful joke". Damn you assetbar, you claim yet another victim
tekende
+0 -0
jar wants to make certain we know he is being blasphemous.
jar wants to make certain we know he is being blasphemous.
heccibiggs
+4 -0
I really don't see how you can blame this on Assetbar. I'm sorry. I want to be on your side, but like an imperfect bartender, I don't have a lot of options.
I really don't see how you can blame this on Assetbar. I'm sorry. I want to be on your side, but like an imperfect bartender, I don't have a lot of options.
jar
+0 -0
In hindsight I don't really see either. I guess it's one of those scapegoats you can blame everything on, like society.
In hindsight I don't really see either. I guess it's one of those scapegoats you can blame everything on, like society.
dj_douche
+0 -0
This strip literally made me cry tears of laughter. People often say that as hyperbole but it literally happened in this case.
This strip literally made me cry tears of laughter. People often say that as hyperbole but it literally happened in this case.
carlyle
+0 -0
Molly's about to snap in panel one.
Also, Ray's jokes about giving head are unlimited.
Molly's about to snap in panel one.
Also, Ray's jokes about giving head are unlimited.
darkkarma42
+0 -0
When he is stoned, Ray becomes that one friend that keeps the conversation going during smoking circles. Too bad everyone else was sober this arc :(
When he is stoned, Ray becomes that one friend that keeps the conversation going during smoking circles. Too bad everyone else was sober this arc :(
ham_shoes
+1 -0
BUT WE NEVER GOT TO FIND OUT IF MOLLY URINATED
BUT WE NEVER GOT TO FIND OUT IF MOLLY URINATED
dans
+0 -0
This strip says everything there is to say about Ray.
This strip says everything there is to say about Ray.
average_dude
+0 -0
I need to urinate
I need to urinate
God, like you wouldn't be pissed off enough at Ray! Does he really need to find fifty bucks on the street?
Yeah but you could be like "Hey Ray I need fifty bucks for, uh, a sandwich" and he would just give it to you, he wouldn't even remember doing it.
In a way, that makes it worse.
Except that you have a fifty dollar sandwich to console you.
fifty dollar sandwiches are the best at consoling
Notice that he was also unharmed in a car crash that was his fault alone. Finding $50 is the icing on the cake (cake of luck).