zem
+0 -0
Fantastic last line
Fantastic last line
stuart
+12 -0
Guys with incredibly small novels are usually Charles Bukowski
Guys with incredibly small novels are usually Charles Bukowski
tekende
+0 -0
Or Michael Moorcock.
Or Michael Moorcock.
ford
+3 -0
The works of Michael Moorcock have always seemed somewhat interesting, but i am honestly afraid to track any down for pear of having to tell people what i am reading.
The works of Michael Moorcock have always seemed somewhat interesting, but i am honestly afraid to track any down for pear of having to tell people what i am reading.
ford
+22 -0
"for pear?" those two keys are nowhere close to each other. what the hell, brain?
"for pear?" those two keys are nowhere close to each other. what the hell, brain?
vweep
+0 -0
Chubbied for "what the hell, brain?".
Chubbied for "what the hell, brain?".
abe
+2 -1
What the hell, Brian?
What the hell, Brian?
dissembly
+0 -0
In Indonesian, many words that would begin with an "f" in Europe instead have a "p". For example, "Pabrik" refers to a factory, derived from dutch "Fabriek".
That is all.
In Indonesian, many words that would begin with an "f" in Europe instead have a "p". For example, "Pabrik" refers to a factory, derived from dutch "Fabriek".
That is all.
tekende
+2 -0
Because of his name?
Because of his name?
aargh
+2 -0
What's wrong with Micheal Moorcock? I've always found his works witty and insightfu- oh, hang on. Yeah, I just read the first chapter of the dancers at the end of time...
Yeah.
What's wrong with Micheal Moorcock? I've always found his works witty and insightfu- oh, hang on. Yeah, I just read the first chapter of the dancers at the end of time...
Yeah.
zem
+0 -0
I guess this is a burn on dancers at the end of time? if i was dancers at the end of time i'd be feeling pretty hurt right now.
I guess this is a burn on dancers at the end of time? if i was dancers at the end of time i'd be feeling pretty hurt right now.
spicyponyhead
+1 -1
Have you heard any of the Moorcock/Hawkwind music stuff? WIZARDFAIL.
Have you heard any of the Moorcock/Hawkwind music stuff? WIZARDFAIL.
djwhiterabbit
+11 -0
chris onstad is not unlike beef in the way that he typically deprecates himself when he appears in his own comics.
even more ironic when beef himself is the deprecating one. self-loathing written via a self-loather.
chris onstad is not unlike beef in the way that he typically deprecates himself when he appears in his own comics.
even more ironic when beef himself is the deprecating one. self-loathing written via a self-loather.
sarabria
+1 -0
love it when beef gets sassy.
love it when beef gets sassy.
fuckyoufriday
+6 -0
Harry Potter feels the whispering pillar of light should know more about the physics of electricity. It is the basis of all magic.
Harry Potter feels the whispering pillar of light should know more about the physics of electricity. It is the basis of all magic.
zefiel
+21 -1
Octarine?
Octarine?
presterjohn
+15 -0
Oook.
Oook.
fuckyoufriday
+15 -0
My friend told me about how, at his all-boy Catholic high school, someone had written "Cock and Pussy" in all of the bathrooms. That's not the funny part. Someone else went around shortly afterwards and changed them all to "Oook and Russy". That's not that funny either, but it is relevant to your "Oook" post.
My friend told me about how, at his all-boy Catholic high school, someone had written "Cock and Pussy" in all of the bathrooms. That's not the funny part. Someone else went around shortly afterwards and changed them all to "Oook and Russy". That's not that funny either, but it is relevant to your "Oook" post.
woodenteeth
+6 -0
Oook and Russy is pretty funny. You can imagine the guy trying to get all witty, having that moment of failure, then pulling out Oook and Russy and writing a story as if they're a wacky cat and mouse team. The story is about the Cat constantly eating the Mouse. Over and over. All-Boys schools are no good for your imagination OR your relationship to Freud.
Oook and Russy is pretty funny. You can imagine the guy trying to get all witty, having that moment of failure, then pulling out Oook and Russy and writing a story as if they're a wacky cat and mouse team. The story is about the Cat constantly eating the Mouse. Over and over. All-Boys schools are no good for your imagination OR your relationship to Freud.
belgand
+0 -0
That doesn't solve for pussy. Please come see me at the end of the Internet.
That doesn't solve for pussy. Please come see me at the end of the Internet.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
The solution for pussy is at the end of the Internet??!! Ohhhh maaaaan. I was hoping to have it done before then.
The solution for pussy is at the end of the Internet??!! Ohhhh maaaaan. I was hoping to have it done before then.
belgand
+1 -0
I have noticed that you continued to turn in your maths assignments with a rather liberal policy towards the due dates and a consistent failure to show your work.
I'd like to think you could straighten-up and get serious about your studies and with that in mind I will be requiring you to assist Master 4Chan in cleaning up quite a lot of rubbish that has managed to accumulate in /b/. Please report to the prefect after supper. Hopefully this shall be the last such time a disciplinary note is needed. You are dismissed.
I have noticed that you continued to turn in your maths assignments with a rather liberal policy towards the due dates and a consistent failure to show your work.
I'd like to think you could straighten-up and get serious about your studies and with that in mind I will be requiring you to assist Master 4Chan in cleaning up quite a lot of rubbish that has managed to accumulate in /b/. Please report to the prefect after supper. Hopefully this shall be the last such time a disciplinary note is needed. You are dismissed.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I need another disciplinary note. Another .
I need another disciplinary note. Another .
belgand
+0 -0
I don't think you quite understand the disciplinary note system. It goes into your permanent record. It is not given to you personally. I cannot fathom why you would request another unless you think your back-talk is cute young man. I assure you that nobody here is amused by your antics.
I don't think you quite understand the disciplinary note system. It goes into your permanent record. It is not given to you personally. I cannot fathom why you would request another unless you think your back-talk is cute young man. I assure you that nobody here is amused by your antics.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
There ain't nuthin cute about my "back-talk" principal... a-herr herr herr.
There ain't nuthin cute about my "back-talk" principal... a-herr herr herr.
belgand
+0 -0
I believe the phrase you're looking for is "headmaster".
And I'll have no more of these doubled-entendres you children seem so fond of (how amusing, you're also slightly older than me).
I recall when my AP English 2 teacher tried to explain double entendres while we were reading Hamlet. It was... interesting. Actually, no, that's not it, what's the word for when your middle-aged teacher tries to explain that someone just made an almost exactly 400 year old sexual pun?
I believe the phrase you're looking for is "headmaster".
And I'll have no more of these doubled-entendres you children seem so fond of (how amusing, you're also slightly older than me).
I recall when my AP English 2 teacher tried to explain double entendres while we were reading Hamlet. It was... interesting. Actually, no, that's not it, what's the word for when your middle-aged teacher tries to explain that someone just made an almost exactly 400 year old sexual pun?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Awkward.
Hilarious.
Creepy.
Awkward.
Hilarious.
Creepy.
atticusonline
+1 -0
Headmaster! Spinynorman is getting his Mexican Magical Realism on me again! Make him stop!
Headmaster! Spinynorman is getting his Mexican Magical Realism on me again! Make him stop!
belgand
+1 -1
Magical Realism is basically terrible. Regardless of whether it is Mexican or not. Did you not read Beloved? Was worst book. Oh boo hoo, is terrible to be slave. I will be complete psycho in response and then complain about it for another 300 pages. Is not book white male can easily appreciate. Is also just plain regular terrible.
Magical Realism is basically terrible. Regardless of whether it is Mexican or not. Did you not read Beloved? Was worst book. Oh boo hoo, is terrible to be slave. I will be complete psycho in response and then complain about it for another 300 pages. Is not book white male can easily appreciate. Is also just plain regular terrible.
atticusonline
+1 -0
Are...Are you a brain in a jar?
Are...Are you a brain in a jar?
belgand
+1 -0
From your perspective is there any way to tell? Does it matter either way?
From your perspective is there any way to tell? Does it matter either way?
atticusonline
+0 -0
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGS
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGS
belgand
+3 -0
The condensation from my jar is cold against your arms.
The condensation from my jar is cold against your arms.
atticusonline
+3 -0
I have fur and it keeps me very warms.
I have fur and it keeps me very warms.
tekende
+0 -0
So you're going to write off an entire genre because of one book?
So you're going to write off an entire genre because of one book?
belgand
+1 -0
No. Just anything by Toni Morrison. I also no longer trust the Pulitzer Prize.
Writing off anything that even tangentially has something to do with Oprah is just common sense.
No. Just anything by Toni Morrison. I also no longer trust the Pulitzer Prize.
Writing off anything that even tangentially has something to do with Oprah is just common sense.
tekende
+2 -0
Whatever. Go read some Haruki Murakami.
Whatever. Go read some Haruki Murakami.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm not a fan of magical realism in general though because... well, I don't want magical in my realism. I want the real world to be real and the magical world to be magical and no crossovers.
Maybe you can stretch reality a bit (Italo Calvino's The Baron in the Trees comes to mind), but that's the limit.
I'm not a fan of magical realism in general though because... well, I don't want magical in my realism. I want the real world to be real and the magical world to be magical and no crossovers.
Maybe you can stretch reality a bit (Italo Calvino's The Baron in the Trees comes to mind), but that's the limit.
tatterdemalion
+3 -0
While I share and heartily embrace your verdict on Oprah-related-fiction, I do have to agree with tekende that dissing or otherwise dismissing the entire genre of Magical Realism is somewhat not-so-awesome. Smearing magic or the unexplained into 'reality' is a valid way to explore certain themes and has produced some seriously awesome fiction, not to mention theatre.
While I share and heartily embrace your verdict on Oprah-related-fiction, I do have to agree with tekende that dissing or otherwise dismissing the entire genre of Magical Realism is somewhat not-so-awesome. Smearing magic or the unexplained into 'reality' is a valid way to explore certain themes and has produced some seriously awesome fiction, not to mention theatre.
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
As comfortable as this way of thinking may be for you, it has in recent years been rendered nonsense. You don't have to enjoy Middlesex and The Road because they're Oprah's Book Club selections, but if you write them off simply for being associated with her - even "tangentially" (Talk Like a Dick School alumnus, I see) - you're really cheating yourself out on some great work.
Quote:
Writing off anything that even tangentially has something to do with Oprah is just common sense.
As comfortable as this way of thinking may be for you, it has in recent years been rendered nonsense. You don't have to enjoy Middlesex and The Road because they're Oprah's Book Club selections, but if you write them off simply for being associated with her - even "tangentially" (Talk Like a Dick School alumnus, I see) - you're really cheating yourself out on some great work.
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, look who I'm taking to. I'm sure you already hate both of those books. Never mind.
Oh, look who I'm taking to. I'm sure you already hate both of those books. Never mind.
scifigrl47
+0 -0
I worked in a bookstore when Oprah chose Beloved for her book club. I loved that so much. SO much. Selling that book to middle class housewives who would go home, get to the sex with farm animals on page two, and never read another word of it. Good novel or not, come on, people. Sex. With farm animals. On page two.
I worked in a bookstore when Oprah chose Beloved for her book club. I loved that so much. SO much. Selling that book to middle class housewives who would go home, get to the sex with farm animals on page two, and never read another word of it. Good novel or not, come on, people. Sex. With farm animals. On page two.
soticoto
+2 -0
Harry Potter is such a faker; he so can't see Octarine and as such is no wizard. Even the ones that can't even spell wizard (much less cast any spells) can see Octarine.
Harry Potter is such a faker; he so can't see Octarine and as such is no wizard. Even the ones that can't even spell wizard (much less cast any spells) can see Octarine.
dri-ft
+1 -0
Amazing.
Amazing.
geozimmdrake
+2 -0
i wanna go to talk like a dick school.
i wanna go to talk like a dick school.
lrosetw8
+1 -0
man me too
man me too
zefiel
+6 -0
I am there, it's Mexico's main university. We're such dicks, The university detached itself from the country
I am there, it's Mexico's main university. We're such dicks, The university detached itself from the country
sexualhomeboy
+4 -0
I always wondered why they put "Autonomous" in the name of that school.
I always wondered why they put "Autonomous" in the name of that school.
spinynorman
+4 -0
You sure that wasn't because it was Hecho in Mexico and full of Magical Realism?
Grew legs and just walked on off into the ocean?
You sure that wasn't because it was Hecho in Mexico and full of Magical Realism?
Grew legs and just walked on off into the ocean?
yomimono
+0 -0
The pinnacle of dickitude would be if the country, fed up with continuous sass, detached itself from the university.
The pinnacle of dickitude would be if the country, fed up with continuous sass, detached itself from the university.
presterjohn
+0 -0
I think they call it "Yale"
I think they call it "Yale"
blastradius
+3 -2
the real question is, why is onstad giving harry potter fanfic assignments to his stuffed animals? and why are they accepting? some cheap fanfic labour for some new site riddled with google ads? this being onstad's newest get-rich-quick scheme?
the real question is, why is onstad giving harry potter fanfic assignments to his stuffed animals? and why are they accepting? some cheap fanfic labour for some new site riddled with google ads? this being onstad's newest get-rich-quick scheme?
norrin
+3 -0
If Onstad is into getting rich quick, internet comics was a bad choice.
If Onstad is into getting rich quick, internet comics was a bad choice.
semiquaver
+0 -0
You milk what you know, methinks.
You milk what you know, methinks.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
roast beef isnt a stuffed animal. he is a drawing thereof.
roast beef isnt a stuffed animal. he is a drawing thereof.
rowboat
+0 -0
NO
NO
rowboat
+0 -0
Blastradius' comment has been sitting here in plain sight being just as ugly and wrong as can be for over two years and I just gave it its first lame. Wake up, people.
Blastradius' comment has been sitting here in plain sight being just as ugly and wrong as can be for over two years and I just gave it its first lame. Wake up, people.
mangtastic
+0 -0
NO ROWBOAT.
NO.
I WILL NOT WAKE UP FROM THIS WONDERFUL FANTASY DREAM WHERE BLASTRADIUS DID NOT MAKE AN OVERSIGHT ON AN INTERNET COMMENT! I WILL NOT!
p.s. How's this for bad icon/ asset symmetry? (Kermit does not talk in all caps. )
NO ROWBOAT.
NO.
I WILL NOT WAKE UP FROM THIS WONDERFUL FANTASY DREAM WHERE BLASTRADIUS DID NOT MAKE AN OVERSIGHT ON AN INTERNET COMMENT! I WILL NOT!
p.s. How's this for bad icon/ asset symmetry? (Kermit does not talk in all caps. )
mangtastic
+0 -0
Synergy, not symmetry. It is 2:30 AM on a Saturday, people.
Synergy, not symmetry. It is 2:30 AM on a Saturday, people.
rowboat
+0 -0
GIVE THE FUCKING LAME. NOW.
GIVE THE FUCKING LAME. NOW.
mattylite
+0 -0
GOD DAMNIT WHY ARE YOU AWAKE AT 8:30 SATURDAY MORNING
GOD DAMNIT WHY ARE YOU AWAKE AT 8:30 SATURDAY MORNING
mattylite
+0 -0
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU NOT GET INTO LAST NIGHT
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU NOT GET INTO LAST NIGHT
rowboat
+1 -0
I HAVE A "JOB" AT WHICH I MUST BE AT THIS TIME HAVE YOU HEARD OF "JOBS" BEFORE
I HAVE A "JOB" AT WHICH I MUST BE AT THIS TIME HAVE YOU HEARD OF "JOBS" BEFORE
mattylite
+2 -0
I HAVE HEARD OF JOBS
[IMGS OFF]
GATES PRETTY GOOD ALSO
I HAVE HEARD OF JOBS
[IMGS OFF]
GATES PRETTY GOOD ALSO
rowboat
+4 -0
come on do you like 2 work jobs
come on do you like 2 work jobs
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Two friends who could have this discussion over breakfast instead choose to mock-argue on the internet.
In the Year of Our Lord 2010.
Two friends who could have this discussion over breakfast instead choose to mock-argue on the internet.
In the Year of Our Lord 2010.
rowboat
+0 -0
talking over breakfast is for homos lol
talking over breakfast is for homos lol
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Heh fags
Heh fags
mattylite
+0 -0
We'all some homos
We'all some homos
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
RUB THAT ASS!!
RUB THAT ASS!!
phy
+5 -0
Fourth panel. Beef has flat ass human teeth. He would like a salad of vegetables and maybe some cooked tuber.
Fourth panel. Beef has flat ass human teeth. He would like a salad of vegetables and maybe some cooked tuber.
kickstart
+0 -0
yeah, he's way better with his little fangs in the toast
yeah, he's way better with his little fangs in the toast
jonmw
+0 -0
seconded
seconded
centipede_damascus
+0 -0
They say that guys with incredibly small novels do not have much to write about and consequently are pretty uninteresting people to be around. Not like Stephen King.
They say that guys with incredibly small novels do not have much to write about and consequently are pretty uninteresting people to be around. Not like Stephen King.
deancain29
+0 -0
A comment left by deancain29 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, goocifer, cailetshadow, retinarow, echidnaboy)
A comment left by deancain29 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, goocifer, cailetshadow, retinarow, echidnaboy)
saint
+15 -0
I'm afraid I don't give a flying fuck about Harry Potter.
I'm afraid I don't give a flying fuck about Harry Potter.
happycat
+1 -0
Reading through the archives, this is another instance where I see a link between beef and bukowski. Neat.
Reading through the archives, this is another instance where I see a link between beef and bukowski. Neat.
hcaz
+0 -2
ITT: Beef lays down the law.
ITT: Beef lays down the law.
mastronaut
+3 -0
I love the fact that Achewood regularly features one sided phone conversations, but you always can gather the full conversation from it.
"You can pretend all you want but I did just say that"
GOLD
I love the fact that Achewood regularly features one sided phone conversations, but you always can gather the full conversation from it.
"You can pretend all you want but I did just say that"
GOLD
direhaggis
+0 -0
Did Onstad somehow pass along this interest in Harry Potter fan fiction to Lyle, Philippe, and now Roast Beef as some sort of exercise in perverse amusement?
Did Onstad somehow pass along this interest in Harry Potter fan fiction to Lyle, Philippe, and now Roast Beef as some sort of exercise in perverse amusement?
belgand
+0 -0
The great thing about "germane" is that it always is.
The great thing about "germane" is that it always is.
nyl
+0 -0
I've only read one Harry Potter- could a book like this be considered part of the official canon?
I've only read one Harry Potter- could a book like this be considered part of the official canon?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Five for Bukowski.
Five for Bukowski.
johnnybaverage
+0 -0
Onstad downloaded the Harry Potter fonts and fuck if he ain't gonna use 'em.
Onstad downloaded the Harry Potter fonts and fuck if he ain't gonna use 'em.
I'd like to major in Clever Retorts at the Talk Like a Dick School.
Yes well I received an MFA in Internet Threads.
A comment left by zaratustra was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by 21echoes, sevenarts, kenthegod, hellsfruition)
..it's like your comment got eaten by some...Linux..
Chubby for the Strong Bad reference.
Chubby for Rave The Cheat
Or How ever you say it.
Chubby for Dragon Quest avatar
If I can muster it, chuppie 4 8-Bit Theatre avi.
Your more average avatar killed the chain.
What? I'll have you know, that one of a kind custom made life of beef avatar is worth over five hundred million dollars.
...an hour.
It costs two hundred thousand dollars to maintain this avatar... for twelve seconds.
I have yet to meet comment that can outsmart bbcode.
I wouldn't call it "outsmarting" that would be like saying that the moron at pizzahut who always screws up your order is outsmarting you.
Some of my buses!
chubby for the Cecil reference.
Chubby for the Achewood reference
Chubbied for the reference to all the other comments.
Chubby for the chubby chubby chubby
chub chubbablub blub blub chub chub chubchub
Bloo a bloo bloooooo