If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
The Dumbwaiter Redux Thursday, August 28, 2003 • read strip Viewing 68 comments:

A comment left by catachresis was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kingsleymc, alejandroadam, jmmfgd)

A comment left by catachresis was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by alejandroadam, STUART, Darthemed)

A comment left by alejandroadam was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, Tinhand, greatwhitehope7, jdhenry105, Thorfinn, Jesler729, Deusoma, twohundredninety, goocifer, Catachresis, king_of_pwns, unalone, Connellingus, Kleptonis, ActualTaunt, gtc, lucidaconsole, Firehawk, foetus_punch, kingsleymc, crumpetsandtea, Wulvaine, empy, captneko, achilleselbow, Epicurus, Doc_Rostov, holly_golightly, Saint, motts)

Achewood is the best webcomic, and one of the best of all of the things that people make. You will note that I do not bitch about the strip per se. I just have questions.
It is a very good strip.

A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, Absurdist, alejandroadam)

A comment left by alejandroadam was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, Tinhand, FVVS, mikeronomicon, Overmedicated, butts, Jesler729, Deusoma, twohundredninety, Catachresis, StagnantDisplay, anticitizen, unalone, Connellingus, equinn2006, Kleptonis, jollysaintpete, ActualTaunt, NDCaesar, gtc, lucidaconsole, DougTheHead, fullofkrap, Firehawk, CanusDivinus, Lumus, Troy_Convers, luckypyjamas, idsyen, MrPoopytime, empy, lazarusloafer, psykeres, Doc_Rostov, Audhumla, Zoe, holly_golightly, Agika)

Damn man for fuck's sake. I've made at most a dozen negative comments on strips not for no reason, but because I think they are the worst strips and Achewood has a fuck-high standard (check my record for positive comments if you're feeling pedantic). I ask questions because they are fun to throw up, rather than as pure bitching. You have a Problem that is not on me.

alejandroroadam! CATACHRESIS! Don't go to the beach ! Stay OFF the beach!

A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, 7th_shot, Gompo)

why don't chill pills really exist? i could isolate a use for one right now.

i think they are called "gin."

"barbiturates" is closer

What I don't get, is if they were lifelong friends, why did he not learn Beef's REAL first name 'til their road trip?

dude, when you're first name is cassandra, you don't tell ANYONE

whatever man. that sorta stuff totally comes up at fifth-grade report card time when the teacher's handing them out. it's their excuse to go 'alright you little bastards, it's time you got yours.' "Willheit Gershlomb Teppefall?"

(all his friends goin' dude what the hell man i thought your name was Jake. )

Man, you think Ray was paying attention in the fifth grade?

Ray has a well established history of Paying Attention, so yes. Beats me why most dudes suck.

But we see in the next strip that Ray wasn't paying attention at all, he was thinking about Carol Burnett and Beef had to let him in on what was happening.

@2: I always assumed they were pets, hence they lived there since they were kids. They do the things we see when their owners aren't around.

I love that Roast Beef pretended he was a sack of garbage. That's why he's my favorite. He's quality through and through.

Beef pretending he's a sack of garbage is so funny that it overrides the last panel.

blasphemy! That last panel is the greatest in achewood history because I imagine roast beef doesn't even skip a beat with the "whatever you know I wasn't busy."

To me it just seems anticlimactic after the sack of garbage lowering. Still good though.

Roast Beef is cool with being forced to watch Ray's sexcapades.

Roast Beef pretends to be cool with being forced to watch Ray's sexcapades.

I have a friend who was forced to watch a video of her parents having sex. Her boyfriend found the tape and he and his friend sat on her while they watched it. She still bears the mental scars.

I'm kind of afraid to ask, but why was there a tape?

Her parents like to watch themselves bone apparently. Oh Seven-kinky!

That is hell of horrible of her boyfriend and his friend. You need to convince/aid her to dump him in an extremely traumatizing way.

The whole thing happened about ten years ago and they've been long broken up. That particular boyfriend developed a nasty heroin addiction since the videotape incident. That's Texas Justice, baby!

Yeehaw? (I am also from Texas.)

I actually just yell "Texas Justice!" whenever someone gets their comeuppance. I think I got it from some daytime courtroom tv show. I did live in Texas for four years though. Place called New Braunfels just outside of San Antonio and for a short time in San Antonio itself.

p.s. YEEEEEEHAW!

New Braunfels? Did you ever got to Schlitterbahn? I was supposed to go when I visit my old town this summer, and I was wondering if it was worth it.

I always wanted to go there but I never made it (it's a hell of a drive from Dallas). I heard it was pretty awesome though.

Hmmm... I suppose I shall have to trust you.

I was in my angry-young-man stage when I lived there so wasn't much for waterparks. I went there once with a group of people and we were all very drunk. I had a blast but that may have been due to the combination of booze and waterpark not waterpark alone.

I'm still in an angry-young-human stage. I also burn very easily (seriously, I'm ten-minute-toast). But I found that it is sometimes worth it.

UPDATE: The phrase "Texas Justice!" is doing its damnedest to enter my vernacular, and has tripped me up several times. It is a bit of a tongue-twister.

I have to say, I am glad. What a douche.

I recently found out this guy is serving time for trying to rob a video store with a hammer. He just had two years added to his sentence for trying to smuggle cigarettes in his ass when he was transferred from a Kentucky jail back to Vermont. The video he brought up to the counter at the place he tried to rob was season one of the HBO series "OZ". Sometimes life is kinda awesome.

Sounds like karma is taking good care of him.

your avatar is extraordinarily appropriate for this strip...

...Proceed.

no way! he was the guy with the hammer? small world dude

!!!TEXAS RULES!!!

classic plot device: everyone seems to need to confess their deepest darkest while trapped in an elevator

The way their relationship was, I'm getting an image of some loved yet often picked on pets, who wince every time their owner touch's them because they're not sure if they're gonna get a hug or a playfully yet irritatingly roughed around..

but whatever you know I wasn't busy

Everyone is silent as Roast Beef makes that last remark

No one really knows what to say.

Is Todd standing on somebody, or is Beef just hella slouched?

Slouched. He's crammed in a dumbwaiter, how tall do you think those things are?

tall enough for a cat to use as an elevator, comfortably.

Also to have sex inside, comfortably.

And to watch sex inside, uncomfortably.

I don't think Ray, R.B., and the random Broad Ray was railing were in the dumbwaiter. Ray was outside of it working his boner magic, and Roast Beef would be crammed in there with the door cracked.

Philippe is standing on somebody.

PHILLIPE IS STANDING ON IT

Thanks for that.

I had a friend like Ray when I was a kid. And then I used heroin for awhile, seriously. Poor Beef.

I know I sould like a N00B and whatnot.. but I am, basically.. I've been reading all these strips from the begining and I'm wondering.. where do you guys keep getting the Alt-Texts from?

Hover your cursor over the strip and leave it there. It should show up in a little window.
If it doesn't, or it doesn't display all the way, you can get a plug in from Firefox that will fix it. Someone showed me how to do that, but now I don't remember. I am less helpful than that person.

oh wow. Thanks.

Alternately, right-click then "Properties" if it doesn't pop up.

Ah, thank you. I was getting them, but some were cut off in the middle.

Sometimes I wonder how Ray and Beef are still friends.

In regards to this strip and the previous one:
Beef talks just like me.

OF NOTE! the alt text contains a misspelling of "additionally." intentional?

wow. I doubt it.. but I didn't even catch that! good eye.

THIS sums up Ray and Beef's relationship perfectly.