If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Cartilage Head Offers Wine Friday, September 16, 2005 • read strip Viewing 67 comments:

Ray is none too happy about drinking the inverse wine.

Theguy's head is seeping . I wouldn't put anything he gave me into my body.

Yet Ray responds to the possibility of alcohol with a quickness!

I think Ray jerked quickly to get the glass just because this whole Cartilege head situation was so uncomfortable that he is desperate to do what it takes.

Kind of like when you're a dorky teenage boy and you first meet your girlfriend's strict father. He offers his hand to you, it takes you a second to realize you're supposed to shake it, and then you jerk your hand into his.

I assumed he was more weeping than seeping.

He's weeping what he's seeping.

I would drink absolutely anything that might make me less conscious or alive, by this point.

And yet I can't help but feel, that the entire punchline of this story arc is in the alt text...

Man, the inverse wine bottle is the coolest thing ever. I would pay significant money for one of those.

this was the coolest idea ever, I want that wine bottle

A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brynito, TapaidhNaomh, rascaldom, BrianNotBrian, aesop_punk, RogueCheddar, scraggg)

Would someone mind explaining to me why so many people hate Captain Morgan?

A comment left by coconutjohn was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeyramoney, greymantledwolf, Ariamaki, Taidje_Khan)

Because of Science.

You could construct a wine spigot inside a bottle that used optical effects to appear empty. Victory, Science!

What we need less of is science

What we need more of is Magical Realism.

I can sort of see how it could be done.
At the bottom of the bottle you can see a small indentation which conceals the outlet for the wine reservoir. A reservoir as wide as the table but only half an inch thick could hold at least one bottle and could still be hidden from a casual search. The bottom of the wine glass has a small valve (the kind found in a vein) made of transparent rubber with a hollow stalk. When pushed down a concealed transparent pipe from the reservoir is pushed through the valve by the weight of the glass. The pump is then activated out of sight, a button under the table most likely. The wine going through the stalk is hidden because the stream is thin, note how long it takes to fill, and the glass reflecting off glass obscures the fluid. The glass is then twisted off the hidden pipe, or the pipe slowly withdrawn, so the valve remains airtight as the glass is given to your terrified friend.

The only problem off the top of my head is that of hiding the sound of a pump. But Cartilage Head seems like he'd have music playing.

Make this happen.

You are some kind of genius.

I just thought you could get the pump issue by using a long enema tube with a squeezy ball pump instead of a reservoir. Ten foot or so could make a kink free circuit under the table, perhaps with a fake bottom, whilst it already comes with a tapered end for easy insertion. The down sides? Using the squeezy pump unseen and the fact you have to ask the girl in the chemist for "a massive enema set".

I have many enema sets in my house!

This is not something I should tell everyone!

Oh Phillipe.

Apparantly I've given out too many chubbies, so this'll have to do: chubby.

A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by plummet, GeyserShitdick, jollysaintpete, Semiquaver, atticusonline, HappyCat)

Wow, this is the only asherdan comment I've seen that doesn't have at least 3 'lames'.

...the hell?

truly not all asherdan comments deserve lames, it's just a kneejerk reaction at this point.

I do believe this is the first asherdan comment I've ever seen. A historic night!

I swear, I saw an asherdan comment recently, with 16 chubbies and ZERO lames. If you can beat that, I guess I owe you a dollar.

Hint: I think you can not do this.

Tee hee. His comment has exactly three lames right now.
This is funny for me. :D

baffling.

Words become superfluous with such eloquent eyebrows.

That wine is haunted. Ray is wise to resist drinking until it's known it won't start trying to slosh around eerily.

Ray in the last panel just nails it. The shaking, the face that so perfectly captures trying to decide whether or not it's a good idea...god, Cartilage Head is creepy.

This reminds me a lot of that wine scene in A Clockwork Orange.

Starting to remind me of the chicken scene in Eraserhead. As in, screwed up beyond all belief.

I love Ray's hurry to get his glass in panel 3. Like he's thinking "yes! wine! I know what wine is! wine is good!" And then that bottle yanks the floor from under him. He can't even trust wine anymore.

I think Ray is actually thinking, "OH FUCK! OH FUCK!" and probably has been for the past twenty minutes.

Listen a seven-foot guy with rubber bones and black eyes has you cornered in his art-nouveau apartment. You are going to do anything he says with quickness and what you hope is a veneer of enthusiasm.

What a beautiful observation.

Am I the only one who thinks that Ray is is about as eager to drink that wine as he would be to drop a scorpion into his thong?

I mean, seriously, he looks like he's about to cry.

It turns out though in the next strip that the wine is good.

Spoilerz

seriously, this needs to be a short animated film

All Sigur Ros playing in the background

I want one. ....I WANT ONE!

Appropriately, this was published on my 21st birthday.

sorry but i don't get this story arc

That's okay but I do.

Exactly what motion is Cartilage Head making in the 14th and 15th panel?

The walking cadaver implores you to drink the un-wine.

Aahhh hahaha I love your avatar.

I can't figure out if his avatar is really sweet or if it's incredibly sick.

I'm referring only to the child and the dog portions. Didn't want anyone to think I was a bigot. I suddenly care what the internet thinks of me.

But it's too late!

I was actually talking about tunafreedolphin's avatar. Not really a fan of diggidy's, personally.

Yeah, I realized that about a year later. Because I'm a genius.

Today's Blogs

Teodor: Weekend's cooking plans.

He is fiddling with his hands, and then he is posing the thought "Does it displease you? No? Then drink, please!"

Just the suggestion of Ray's hand even getting near the dude-thing in panel 4 is terribly unnerving. Fingers all like living pasta, skin all clammy, weird breathing likely making the rounds. I emphasize: direct bozack killing.

Secrets.

Onstad draws a seriously rad wineglass and bottle. I guess it would detract from the ambience if he didn't.

Holy crispy crap, this is so frightening.

Also, I dig the half-circle accent at the top of each of Cartilage Head's cards, as well as the monogrammed 'CH'.

I have a diagram of how that would work, but I can't describe it.
Also, this arc is my favorite forever.

I realise I'm a few years late to this party, but I couldnt help being reminded of that scene from the movie Legend, where the devil fills up the girls wine glass the same way by only pointing at it.

Sit.

Drink.

So Disturbed! I cannot stop laughing for some terrible reason! What does it say about me that this sort of thing has me chortling and wheezing for minutes on end? Nothing good, I'd wager.