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Philippe and the Couch Wednesday, April 5, 2006 • read strip Viewing 114 comments:

Onstad knows how to write little kids. When I was a kid I couldn't stand to throw my old shoes away.

I still can't stand to part with most things.

Vlad had his moment of tearful agony over the loss of his taxi-driver hair cut.

A comment left by sweetlips was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, Vondicus, Endquote, FablesandBlues, UndyingSong, fakedaisies, Milo)

I think you did.

Because women can't stand to part with most things, apparently.

except their uterine lining, I guess

Man, have you been around a woman shedding her uterine lining? Its not exactly a fun time.

I remember crying when we had to get rid of an old blanket I had, maybe when I was 9 or so. I had that thing forever. It was huge and fluffy and plaid, but all the fluff came out :(

I still do this. I recently got a new hoodie after realising my old one had holes in the cuffs, elbow, pockets, hem, and was about four shades lighter than it used to be. The old hoodie has yet to make its way into the trash after serving me well the duration of sophomore and half of junior year. I named it Muriel. The new one is called Halifax .)

Chubbied for A Softer World. Is SO good.

I had a nice jacket which went with everything (grey/brown linen, four-button.) It died. It died so much there was a big hole in the back where the lining was coming out. I've stopped wearing it but I can't bring myself to get rid of it yet. It deserves a decent send-off, you know?

make something out of it that you can use. or get someone else to make something out of it if youre not into making stuff...

weird dude, that is hella weird.

make something out of it that you can use. or get someone else to make something out of it if youre not into making stuff...

I dunno, I was not likely the common child but I was pretty unattached to material things as a child.

That's ok as long as you weren't smug about it.

This actually happened to me: my old, battered mattress was switched for a new, plump one back when I was about nine. That night at bedtime, I snuck out into the hallway where my old mattress was waiting to be taken out next to the front door, bringing my pillow and blanket with me, and tried to sleep on that old familiar frame one last time.

I was caught by my parents, and sent to my room to sleep on the new, somehow-too-newly-cushy mattress, crying all the way.

Though the "new" mattress broke-in and became "mine," the memory of being unwanting/unwilling to let the old one go still stays with me.

Onstad captures that blind powerful overwhelming need to keep in your life the "things-that-have-been-there-ever-since-[you]-have."

Maybe it's just me.

This is the saddest thing

I never felt this way until my dog died when I was 16. Let me tell you, it does no-one any good to wait sixteen years to feel this way about something, especially when that something is the dog that grew up with you. It hurts so bad it's like life is punching you in the ear for an hour and never getting tired.

it felt like that when my dog died. I was 19. I had had her since I was five. The first thing I really remember with any clarity is dad bringing her home and seeing this little black labrador puppy sleeping in this peach basket in the backseat of his crappy old buick..

): does not even begin to cover it.

Be stronk! Everythink must end, redheron. You must haf strength to be a ... man? Wait, I got this...Nevermind.

But seriously, that is the saddest thing. A million times ):



I really like this arc. It's a bit dark, but it's one of my favorites.

Aye, me too. Unbelievable that we didn't get loads of filler after the GOF. We just plunged right into something adventurous, dark, and awesome. Proper golden age right here.

NOBODY seconded "Proper golden age right here?" For shame.

I think the chubbies are seconds. Or in this case, up to twenty-fifths.
I also seconded it in my heart.

The problem with seconding this is that Achewood never stops being brilliant. Plus calling something golden age after a couple years seems premature.

It's funny how you consider anything that's not part of some epic story arc as 'filler'. Most of my favorite strips are one-offs.

In fairness, I don't think he meant that *everything* else is filler -- but there IS filler, filler does exist in Achewood, and if there was a time when it was excusable, it would be after something as awesome as the GOF. And it's extra awesome that Onstad had this up his sleeve for dessert.

There, aren't you glad I cleared that matter up, a year later?

I'm not sure what puckey is, but I'm going to guess that I don't want to pour it over any sundaes.

puckey = basically shit

bullpuckey = bullshit

I would totally take a sheriff's badge at that age. Or now.

I have one. From Big Bear Lake. Some deputies gave me sass one time and said they were going to take me in for impersonating an officer.

Don't hold it against them, the primary duty of deputies is to sass.

sass and strut, sass and strut

sass, strut, harass the boyfriends of girls they could never get in school

Your sheriff's badge: never leave home without it.


I think this is as close as Vlad has gotten to being a badass.

Yeah, I agree. I like his poetic prose about what it is to be a man, even when it comes to discarded furniture! It seems like, given the right circumstances of a vague emotional connection to a person, Vlad would totally commit his camaradarie, offer beautiful yet manly words of encouragement, and then split a bottle of vodka with his new friend-for-life.

Vlad was always a badass. He's just a modest badass. UNTIL IT COMES TO CRYING CHILDREN(OTTERS).

Vlad was born badass... in as much as robots are born.


Badass? Vlad is THE MAKEOUT KING.

You make my point, dear moose.

This couch, phillipe... is pretty raunchy. for some reason slays me...

You know it's hell of raunchy when even Vlad can't deny it.

gotta be that sexy robo-russian accent

start of the best arc ever

I think in the absence of Cornelius, Vlad is the most badass character in Achewood.

If you ask me, he makes prison seem far too much like a man-rape conga line.

Vlad is all talk. Reading the wikipedia entry for Vikings and watching clips of UFC fights on youtube does not a badass make.

Notice here how Onstad captures the very essence of the Eastern European.

...a melodramatic world-view, a heavy moustache, a and cylindrical steel nose.

spitting in the face of death? that sounds about right!

Vlad's speech to Phillipe is a well-crafted ode to Slavic fatalism: Nichevo.

And it's such a good speech. Vlad knows how to live.

"ENOUGH! Now,we drink! We feast! We spit on the face of death for another day! BAH!"

Just so, Vlad. Just so.

He shaved his Taxi Driver haircut! He's bald !

why is he so bald

His head is so nude.

I'm glad I am not the only one noticing this.

A chubby for the completely rad Goomba avatar, dude.

I'm glad I am not the only one noticing that.

Calvin and Hobbes - style adventure time !

God damn I love vlad so much.

I have to be honest though, if I was a little kid, seeing him in panel 5 head-on for some reason would probably scare the hell out of me.

this just goes to show that Vlad is about a hundred times better with kids than Lie Bot is.

"Lie Bot, where'd the couch go?"
"I think it left because it hates you so much"

Especially when one compares this strip to the day before. Lie Bot tells a rambling tale of despair, instilling in Philippe the fear of an absurd universe. Vlad, on the other hand, must teach him to be brave!

"YOU MUST HAF STRENGTH TO BE A MAN!"

What makes a man?
Is it the power in his hands?
Is it his quest for glory?

Give it all you got...
To fight to the top...
So we can know your story!

mm yeah... that and a pair of testicles.

To be fair Lie Bot gave Philippe an uneasy night of sleep whereas Vlad may have indirectly contributed to Philippe suffocating in a cooler and being blown up by a TV helicopter.

lie bot knew kids love drinking king piss. i did not know this before?

If I ever have children when they reach the age of 6 we will burn thier baby blanket. I will tell them to cry for to keep the pain inside is to die, you must have strenght to be a man. Then I will exclaim,

"Now, we drink! We feast! We spit on the face of death for another day! BAH!"

for this is what it is to be a man.

Well...There's another erson I can strike off my list of potential babysitters.

And I totally meant to spell "person" without the P. I swear!

Better to teach them to use the blanket as a garotte or a belt.

it's amazing how much phillipes' physical appearance has changed in this series.

Vlad has a potbelly.

Yeah, has Vlad always had robo-boobs? How does a robot get fat?

Eating too many chips, I guess.

Cyrix 5x86 loop instructions, very fattening.
EAX EAX AND dammit!

there's not enough vlad and liebot these days. i like those guys

vlad is such a well-written russian character.

**Cue 18-comment thread about Vlad's actual nationality**

Somebody supervise this otter for F***'s sake!

This comic is why I think Vlad is someone I want to know.

Be stronk!

I think panel 5 may be the best English Vlad's ever spoken. Hell, he's just awesome in this strip all around.

Also, start of one of my favorite arcs here.

'b...bye couch...I love you! I'll always remember you!'

Sweetest line ever

Vlad knows the deeper levels of being a Tough Guy.

BE STRONK!

BE STRONK!

Man, you repeating that actually made it better.

[IMGS OFF]

If there is one thing that is better than Philippe and Lie-Bot... and maybe even better than GOF-arc... it is Philippe and Vlad.


Can I adopt Phillipe? Who wouldn't want to raise an adorable otter stuffed animal child that never ages??

It's mother apparently.

Vlad is the freaking MAN, and this is by far my favorite arc. The GOF, while a neat concept, just never really did it for me.

Oh man, finally someone who doesn't think that the GOF was the highest point of Achewood.

The whole point of Achewood is nerdy males who dream macho dreams, and that is OK, and brilliantly conveyed, but at moments like the GOF and the Badass Games it does kind of move towards imploding on its own concept. I did like the GOF, but I like the one-offs where Ray is contemplating masculinity as presented by $8 glossy magazines which are mostly ads rather better.

I like Vlad because he is the only character who actually seems to like children. I don't mean "feel protective of Phillipe," I mean actually care about children and how they think and feel. It brings a manly tequila-stained tear to my butch, butch eye.

If (and only if) by "children", you mean "otters", I totally agree with you.

Nah, I mean children. It is impossible to consider that any male other than a child would act like this .

That is... um... I mean...

SHUT UP!

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Wow, That's exactly what I packed last time I went camping. A can opener would have been a good replacement for the laddle.

Philippe will always remember that couch.

But FeeReep was told that the bulldozer would make the couch into total puckey!

why no love for zorba?

I read the entire archive up to this point without bothering to register or comment on a single strip. But I just have to say how inspirational Vlad's speech is in this strip. I want to read it every morning as soon as I get out of bed.

That couch was a dear friend to me.

I basically never stop being delighted by Philippe's huge trousers and Cuban-heeled shoes.

(Or are they cowboy boots..? Although he seems like the kind of kid who'd tuck his cuffs into the boots, in that case.)

Given his mother I've always assumed that they are some sort of prescription shoe.

they're very special shoes.

everything with vlad gets at least a 4.

Lie bot has a robot beer gut in frames 6-10.

Except it's not Lie Bot. It's Vlad.

Vlad would make a great father someday.

All of Vlad's dialogue is so good in this strip.

I do not appear in this strip.