excusemesenator
+8 -0
IS HE REALLY THE MATH TEACHER?
IS HE REALLY THE MATH TEACHER?
rearadmiral
+0 -0
Michael has low standards.
Michael has low standards.
deus
+0 -0
PFT! no no no!
THE MAN GOT PRINCIPLES!
PFT! no no no!
THE MAN GOT PRINCIPLES!
shatneresque
+12 -0
He is still working his way up to principals.
He is still working his way up to principals.
jeffspaulding
+10 -0
It's not school I hate; it's the principal of the thing.
It's not school I hate; it's the principal of the thing.
granularsilica
+0 -1
But he's a Prince and a Pal!
But he's a Prince and a Pal!
dacapn
+0 -0
I JUST FIGURED THAT OUT AS I READ UR COMMENT OMGZOZRZ
I JUST FIGURED THAT OUT AS I READ UR COMMENT OMGZOZRZ
coolhandle
+1 -0
Ok, THAT might be the saddest thing.
Ok, THAT might be the saddest thing.
dacapn
+0 -0
no, your avatar is. all that boob and its USELESS
no, your avatar is. all that boob and its USELESS
invidious
+0 -0
You are not being creative enough. Never dealt with breasts that large? Here's a tip: buy more pudding.
You are not being creative enough. Never dealt with breasts that large? Here's a tip: buy more pudding.
r1pp3r
+0 -0
Indeed it is, but you need some animation.
Indeed it is, but you need some animation.
puguglypress
+1 -0
"Lurquilla"? Okay, now Onstad is just being silly.
"Lurquilla"? Okay, now Onstad is just being silly.
aristagoras
+1 -0
Yeah, I was totally down with the shitting victim scenario, but that name just ruined it for me.
Yeah, I was totally down with the shitting victim scenario, but that name just ruined it for me.
wazza
+1 -0
the closest I can find is one Larissa Urquilla, whose last name and first initial could combine into such a pet name in the mind of a man like Mayner.
the closest I can find is one Larissa Urquilla, whose last name and first initial could combine into such a pet name in the mind of a man like Mayner.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
She is Circumstances.
She is Circumstances.
neonfreon
+20 -1
only your mother has more active pathways than teodor
only your mother has more active pathways than teodor
xi
+0 -0
I love you.
I love you.
ratacattt
+0 -1
zxzxxz
zxzxxz
galoot
+0 -1
Eeeuuuuuuwreeka !
Eeeuuuuuuwreeka !
cvagts
+8 -0
The saddest thing is that if they had in fact gone to Taco Bell, this would be no trouble for Teodor.
The saddest thing is that if they had in fact gone to Taco Bell, this would be no trouble for Teodor.
aristagoras
+1 -0
You win.
You win.
overmedicated
+4 -0
In point of fact untrue, you try pinching off a Taco Bell squirt some time.
Like putting your thumb over the end of a garden hose.
In point of fact untrue, you try pinching off a Taco Bell squirt some time.
Like putting your thumb over the end of a garden hose.
tekende
+0 -0
Seriously man like what is that in your avatar?
Seriously man like what is that in your avatar?
zaer
+1 -0
That's Freddie Mercury stroking his banana hat... why do you ask?
That's Freddie Mercury stroking his banana hat... why do you ask?
tekende
+1 -0
Oh is it? But, I mean, like...why? What's the context?
Oh is it? But, I mean, like...why? What's the context?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
F-f-fruity Freddy?
F-f-fruity Freddy?
wazza
+0 -0
YES
YES
overmedicated
+0 -0
Honestly I think at this point explaining the context would ruin the fruity headwear majesty.
Honestly I think at this point explaining the context would ruin the fruity headwear majesty.
antimony
+0 -0
I always thought it was a hat made of sausages, not bananas. What does that say about me?
I always thought it was a hat made of sausages, not bananas. What does that say about me?
woodenteeth
+4 -0
You would chose Germans over Monkies in what seems like a random psychological test. The conclusion would show that you're a violent Nazi.
You would chose Germans over Monkies in what seems like a random psychological test. The conclusion would show that you're a violent Nazi.
lizard
+3 -0
Chubby for designing a psychological instrument weighing the merits of Aryans against a 60s boy band
Chubby for designing a psychological instrument weighing the merits of Aryans against a 60s boy band
wazza
+0 -0
to be fair, I kind of switched off on the Monkees when Charles Manson got turned down.
to be fair, I kind of switched off on the Monkees when Charles Manson got turned down.
jeffspaulding
+3 -0
They had to choose between the white-out guy and the whites-out guy.
They had to choose between the white-out guy and the whites-out guy.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING
HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
Who can forget Der Monkees' big hit song: Take the Last Train to Auschwitz?
Who can forget Der Monkees' big hit song: Take the Last Train to Auschwitz?
wonelove
+0 -0
I thought it was just insane dreadlocks.
I thought it was just insane dreadlocks.
dacapn
+0 -1
hey i thought it was some dumb broad telling us about baking.... its a piece of cake to bak a plate of cake
hey i thought it was some dumb broad telling us about baking.... its a piece of cake to bak a plate of cake
miku224
+0 -0
I always thought it was Lucille Ball for some reason.
I always thought it was Lucille Ball for some reason.
kledermans
+0 -0
That's goofy, but I thought the same thing at first.
That's goofy, but I thought the same thing at first.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
ME TOO.
ME TOO.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
As did I.
As did I.
lordpretzel
+0 -0
Good thing she teaches math and not English.
Good thing she teaches math and not English.
gothfae
+2 -0
I feel relatively certain she actually teaches 'gazintas'.
I feel relatively certain she actually teaches 'gazintas'.
blackalex
+2 -0
Wow. As one who considers himself a drug addict, this strip really hits home.
Wow. As one who considers himself a drug addict, this strip really hits home.
aristagoras
+1 -0
I feel like you need a hug.
I feel like you need a hug.
wjon
+2 -0
No hugs, just chubbies.
No hugs, just chubbies.
gothfae
+0 -0
Hugging someone when they have a chubbie can be an uncomfortable experience for all involved.
Hugging someone when they have a chubbie can be an uncomfortable experience for all involved.
wazza
+1 -0
or it can be an awesome experience
or it can be an awesome experience
mockereo
+0 -0
... when?
... when?
dusty
+0 -0
When a cute girl hugs you, and you're like "oh crap I've got a boner" and when you look at her face to see if she's horrified instead you get a knowing smile and maybe a quick knob honk if no one is looking.
When a cute girl hugs you, and you're like "oh crap I've got a boner" and when you look at her face to see if she's horrified instead you get a knowing smile and maybe a quick knob honk if no one is looking.
dacapn
+1 -0
no one who says quick knob honk gets quick knob honks
no one who says quick knob honk gets quick knob honks
dusty
+1 -1
You are correct, I get slow and sensual ones.
You are correct, I get slow and sensual ones.
carlyle
+0 -0
But those are not always the best kind. If your wife is next to you and beginning to wonder why your friend from college is still hugging you, but now with just one arm, for example.
But those are not always the best kind. If your wife is next to you and beginning to wonder why your friend from college is still hugging you, but now with just one arm, for example.
wazza
+0 -0
that's just a particular circumstance, it doesn't invalidate the whole class of awesomeness
that's just a particular circumstance, it doesn't invalidate the whole class of awesomeness
carlyle
+0 -0
True, but that one circumstance is a very dire one. And there are many more to boot. I suppose you could go for both, and have some way of signalling others without alerting your significant other or anyone you don't feel like broadcasting the way you want your knob honked.
Perhaps a subtle hand gesture; press your left hand's thumb into it's repsective palm for a slow, sensual honk and your right hand's thumb into it's respective palm for a quick one. Sound good?
True, but that one circumstance is a very dire one. And there are many more to boot. I suppose you could go for both, and have some way of signalling others without alerting your significant other or anyone you don't feel like broadcasting the way you want your knob honked.
Perhaps a subtle hand gesture; press your left hand's thumb into it's repsective palm for a slow, sensual honk and your right hand's thumb into it's respective palm for a quick one. Sound good?
wazza
+0 -0
or you could just do it when it's just the two of you, or in such as a crowded airport where no one is paying attention to one more loving couple they will assume are in a legitimate relationship.
or you could just do it when it's just the two of you, or in such as a crowded airport where no one is paying attention to one more loving couple they will assume are in a legitimate relationship.
carlyle
+0 -0
Well, yeah. I suppose you could!
Well, yeah. I suppose you could!
dusty
+1 -0
You two are really trying to turn an invitation into a party of it's own here. And that just results in one of those stupid invitations where the glitter and confetti falls out.
You two are really trying to turn an invitation into a party of it's own here. And that just results in one of those stupid invitations where the glitter and confetti falls out.
mockereo
+0 -0
maaaaaann i fucking HATE those
maaaaaann i fucking HATE those
carlyle
+0 -0
So, if the invitation is discussing them on the internet... the party is getting them in the real world? I think you're asking a bit much of me here, Dusty.
Or, no, that won't work as a metaphor. Okay, the invitation
So, if the invitation is discussing them on the internet... the party is getting them in the real world? I think you're asking a bit much of me here, Dusty.
Or, no, that won't work as a metaphor. Okay, the invitation
dusty
+0 -0
I rather meant that a knob honk is just an invitation and that's why it's good, it doesn't have to do much in itself. But now I'm not sure if you're messing with me or not. I'll see you later, I gotta go take stock.
I rather meant that a knob honk is just an invitation and that's why it's good, it doesn't have to do much in itself. But now I'm not sure if you're messing with me or not. I'll see you later, I gotta go take stock.
carlyle
+0 -0
No, I'm not messing with you, we ... are messing with each other !
But really I just didn't understand what you were referring to as the invitation, so I asked for clarification.
Also, I think we milked this subject for all it's worth.
No, I'm not messing with you, we ... are messing with each other !
But really I just didn't understand what you were referring to as the invitation, so I asked for clarification.
Also, I think we milked this subject for all it's worth.
dusty
+0 -0
Agreed, let us meet up in the next strip and discuss the finer points of stealth unilateral dry humping.
Agreed, let us meet up in the next strip and discuss the finer points of stealth unilateral dry humping.
salvar
+0 -0
It's like looking in a mirror.
It's like looking in a mirror.
daidai
+2 -0
Except a mirror you didn't remember was there.
For once.
Except a mirror you didn't remember was there.
For once.
mawk
+0 -0
all those active pathways are just lighting up for you right now.
all those active pathways are just lighting up for you right now.
subrosian
+10 -0
Next time on Achewood: Intervention.
"I was just having all these active pathways then I pinched a loaf on the neighbors lawn."
-
The ideal sequence would be that Theodor runs into -=Ray=- who is also naked, and has also just pinched a loaf, but for the reasons of actually being on substance.
Next time on Achewood: Intervention.
"I was just having all these active pathways then I pinched a loaf on the neighbors lawn."
-
The ideal sequence would be that Theodor runs into -=Ray=- who is also naked, and has also just pinched a loaf, but for the reasons of actually being on substance.
aristagoras
+19 -0
And then Ray invents a sort of "Singing Shit-o-gram" service where minor celebrities drop turds on the lawns of your friends and enemies. Cue a weird character named Reverb Jackson who is signed to Ray's label coming to drop a turd on Roast Beef's lawn. Roast Beef is in fact a devotee of this odd Jandek-type character (lots of shots of DK-shirt Beef listening to tapes) and we discover that Ray's dad used to jam with him and there's a looooong storyline ending in Roast Beef renewing vows with Molly.
No thanks, don't give Onstad ideas! Let's just keep the horror and abuse going as it is.
And then Ray invents a sort of "Singing Shit-o-gram" service where minor celebrities drop turds on the lawns of your friends and enemies. Cue a weird character named Reverb Jackson who is signed to Ray's label coming to drop a turd on Roast Beef's lawn. Roast Beef is in fact a devotee of this odd Jandek-type character (lots of shots of DK-shirt Beef listening to tapes) and we discover that Ray's dad used to jam with him and there's a looooong storyline ending in Roast Beef renewing vows with Molly.
No thanks, don't give Onstad ideas! Let's just keep the horror and abuse going as it is.
soup_alex
+1 -0
I would go to see a band called "Reverb Jackson". No, wait; maybe not.
I would go to see a band called "Reverb Jackson". No, wait; maybe not.
plummet
+0 -0
Watch this happen, guys.
Watch this happen, guys.
falseprophet
+10 -0
Beef comes from Circumstances
Nice Pete comes from Considerations
Cornelius comes from Era
Ray comes from Substance
Lyle comes from Situations
Philippe is five.
Pat is a dick.
Teodor is kind of fat.
Beef comes from Circumstances
Nice Pete comes from Considerations
Cornelius comes from Era
Ray comes from Substance
Lyle comes from Situations
Philippe is five.
Pat is a dick.
Teodor is kind of fat.
falseprophet
+2 -0
Achewood .
Achewood .
dybrar
+0 -0
Perfektion.
Perfektion.
stereo
+1 -1
Molly comes from 17th century Ireland.
Molly comes from 17th century Ireland.
wazza
+0 -0
except when her family turns up that's never really a thing. Molly's main thing is that she loves beef despite/because of all his flaws, and provides the basic patience and understanding we all need from someone else to be able to look at our reflection without punching the mirror sometimes, while still being a woman with her own flaws and emotional needs.
except when her family turns up that's never really a thing. Molly's main thing is that she loves beef despite/because of all his flaws, and provides the basic patience and understanding we all need from someone else to be able to look at our reflection without punching the mirror sometimes, while still being a woman with her own flaws and emotional needs.
achtung
+1 -0
wales?
wales?
mercuri0us
+0 -0
whale oil beef hooked.
whale oil beef hooked.
aristagoras
+0 -0
I may just go back and chubby every comment you've left until I am e-spent .
I may just go back and chubby every comment you've left until I am e-spent .
hatstand_mcq
+16 -0
Mayner is good at rationalising his actions, but deep down he is just a man to whom kindness comes rationally, even when there are people shitting on his lawn.
Mayner is good at rationalising his actions, but deep down he is just a man to whom kindness comes rationally, even when there are people shitting on his lawn.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
For 'rationally' read 'naturally', naturally.
For 'rationally' read 'naturally', naturally.
wazza
+0 -0
I think he's really just happy about the additional fertilisation.
Americans are crazy about their lawns.
I think he's really just happy about the additional fertilisation.
Americans are crazy about their lawns.
mockereo
+2 -0
man he's got crabgrass. he's clearly not that crazy about his lawn
man he's got crabgrass. he's clearly not that crazy about his lawn
wazza
+2 -0
I ain't even know what sort of grass I have. It's green. It grows. That's enough.
I ain't even know what sort of grass I have. It's green. It grows. That's enough.
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
chubby for "ain't even know"
chubby for "ain't even know"
pmbarrett
+1 -1
your mom's balls have crabgrass
your mom's balls have crabgrass
plummet
+0 -0
Don't talk that way about your aunt
Don't talk that way about your aunt
pmbarrett
+0 -0
don't talk that way about your aunt's mom's balls.
don't talk that way about your aunt's mom's balls.
carlyle
+1 -0
Man your guys's family tree has branches that loop around and connect back to the trunk
Man your guys's family tree has branches that loop around and connect back to the trunk
extortshorties
+0 -0
I'm really sad this got a lame before it got a chubby. It made me laugh out loud.
I'm really sad this got a lame before it got a chubby. It made me laugh out loud.
dybrar
+3 -0
And now he has crapgrass.
And now he has crapgrass.
dacapn
+0 -0
you win simply based on your avatar. huzzah sir. huzzah.
you win simply based on your avatar. huzzah sir. huzzah.
dacapn
+0 -0
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Bleed first, shit later. GRNTF.
Bleed first, shit later. GRNTF.
yatagarasu
+1 -0
Poor Teodor. Even his turd is like a cranberry.
Poor Teodor. Even his turd is like a cranberry.
aristagoras
+0 -0
What a tense strip. I thought an eyeball was gonna pop on poor Teodor.
But really, I expected today's update to be Lyle mourning Dio.
What a tense strip. I thought an eyeball was gonna pop on poor Teodor.
But really, I expected today's update to be Lyle mourning Dio.
zaer
+2 -0
aww fuck man did Dio die? why did you say that I shouldn't know this not like this this is not a good time to hear that why am I crying dammit i'm a man fuck
aww fuck man did Dio die? why did you say that I shouldn't know this not like this this is not a good time to hear that why am I crying dammit i'm a man fuck
invidious
+0 -0
Was that you as yourself or you as Lyle? Either way, win.
Was that you as yourself or you as Lyle? Either way, win.
zaer
+0 -1
I really only knew about his death because aristagoras just threw it in there... I was avoiding news and the internet on purpose because it was depressing me too much...I just came for five minutes to check on Achewood and BAM! Dio dies... fuck
I really only knew about his death because aristagoras just threw it in there... I was avoiding news and the internet on purpose because it was depressing me too much...I just came for five minutes to check on Achewood and BAM! Dio dies... fuck
carlyle
+0 -0
Who the hell is Dio.
Who the hell is Dio.
achtung
+0 -0
dio is asking the same thing about you, carlyle, in heaven
dio is asking the same thing about you, carlyle, in heaven
achtung
+0 -0
when dio dies, does he go to heaven and hell?
when dio dies, does he go to heaven and hell?
achtung
+0 -0
lml
lml
aristagoras
+1 -0
Ahem. I apologize for the length of my reply, but some things are not joking matters. Dio is what we call a "high baron" of metal, of the "fifth flame." These things may not matter to some people, but they matter greatly to metal fans, key grips who quit Rob Zombie films for being "too pedestrian" and coke dealers worldwide.
Due to his status, Dio will be reincarnated in the same fashion as the Dalai Lama. In about ten years, the current editorial staff of Metal Hammer will meet with any surviving Blind Guardian, Celtic Frost, Darkthrone and a blogger who shall be named MegaPain666. The children of various metalhead families will be shown many objects, only one of which will have belonged to Dio - a fountain pen carved from ivory into the shape of a melted candle, then painted black and red. If they select it AND use it to draw a picture and/or write a lyric about one or more appropriate topics (horned beings; midnight; the nature of prisms; an angel quitting Heaven to explore the abyssal plain in a submarine made of human bones) then they will be proclaimed the new Dio.
I can say no more, because I am full of shit .
Ahem. I apologize for the length of my reply, but some things are not joking matters. Dio is what we call a "high baron" of metal, of the "fifth flame." These things may not matter to some people, but they matter greatly to metal fans, key grips who quit Rob Zombie films for being "too pedestrian" and coke dealers worldwide.
Due to his status, Dio will be reincarnated in the same fashion as the Dalai Lama. In about ten years, the current editorial staff of Metal Hammer will meet with any surviving Blind Guardian, Celtic Frost, Darkthrone and a blogger who shall be named MegaPain666. The children of various metalhead families will be shown many objects, only one of which will have belonged to Dio - a fountain pen carved from ivory into the shape of a melted candle, then painted black and red. If they select it AND use it to draw a picture and/or write a lyric about one or more appropriate topics (horned beings; midnight; the nature of prisms; an angel quitting Heaven to explore the abyssal plain in a submarine made of human bones) then they will be proclaimed the new Dio.
I can say no more, because I am full of shit .
mattylite
+0 -0
So it has been written; so it shall be done.
So it has been written; so it shall be done.
carlyle
+0 -0
Would someone write a lyric about, say, hyden sceptyres, does it count as a "appropriate topic"?
Would someone write a lyric about, say, hyden sceptyres, does it count as a "appropriate topic"?
telescreen
+0 -0
He drew a naked bear who pooed on a lawn. And the poo itself. Is this Onstad's artistic low point?
Or perhaps high point?
He drew a naked bear who pooed on a lawn. And the poo itself. Is this Onstad's artistic low point?
Or perhaps high point?
aristagoras
+9 -0
It is the doo point.
It is the doo point.
w_w
+0 -0
doo humidity puns=do not want
doo humidity puns=do not want
ganymedeio
+0 -0
doo not want?
doo not want?
swatson
+0 -0
Wait...You are not a Canadian girl in her early 20s? But we have the same icon!
Wait...You are not a Canadian girl in her early 20s? But we have the same icon!
ganymedeio
+0 -0
Oh, then I must be hell of such as mistaken. I must alter my make-up accordingly, then alter my makeup accordingly :D
Oh, then I must be hell of such as mistaken. I must alter my make-up accordingly, then alter my makeup accordingly :D
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
teordrell's ingaged in a little
doo(o) it yourself
teordrell's ingaged in a little
doo(o) it yourself
dacapn
+0 -0
what the fuck is a teordrell?
what the fuck is a teordrell?
woodenteeth
+2 -0
he's rst bffs friend, lives with crnelous.
he's rst bffs friend, lives with crnelous.
neonfreon
+0 -0
poetic license
poetic license
carlyle
+0 -0
Don't mind rex there. He raps sometimes but his spelling sucks, but like manflesh we forgive him.
Don't mind rex there. He raps sometimes but his spelling sucks, but like manflesh we forgive him.
andrewofdoom
+2 -0
This strip symbolizes Onstad taking a shit on the lawn of every other webcomic in existence .
This strip symbolizes Onstad taking a shit on the lawn of every other webcomic in existence .
puguglypress
+0 -0
how can u take a shit on shit lolol
how can u take a shit on shit lolol
puguglypress
+2 -0
oh wait i guess u still could
oh wait i guess u still could
salvar
+0 -0
I do it all the time.
I do it all the time.
mockereo
+0 -0
HERE'S ONE FOR FREE
maaaaaaan what i look like a charity case?
HERE'S ONE FOR FREE
maaaaaaan what i look like a charity case?
mockereo
+0 -0
I disagree because this makes it seem like it is agonizingly difficult to take that shit, and all the other strips have to be accommodating and offer toilet paper and Onstad has to run away.
Think through your metaphors better, son.
I disagree because this makes it seem like it is agonizingly difficult to take that shit, and all the other strips have to be accommodating and offer toilet paper and Onstad has to run away.
Think through your metaphors better, son.
andrewofdoom
+4 -0
Let me clarify:
The man has drawn a comic strip about a bloody stuffed animal taking a shit on a lawn and it is one of the best things to appear on the internet this decade.
Tomorrow morning Jim Davis, Tim Buckley, and a thousand other post-ironic/videogame/two-guys-on-a-couch webcomic "artists" are going to be picking up a bunch of metaphor off their front yard.
Let me clarify:
The man has drawn a comic strip about a bloody stuffed animal taking a shit on a lawn and it is one of the best things to appear on the internet this decade.
Tomorrow morning Jim Davis, Tim Buckley, and a thousand other post-ironic/videogame/two-guys-on-a-couch webcomic "artists" are going to be picking up a bunch of metaphor off their front yard.
mockereo
+0 -0
AH HAIN'T MEAN YOU NO HARM
i just like over-analyzing things that make sense the first time i read them
AH HAIN'T MEAN YOU NO HARM
i just like over-analyzing things that make sense the first time i read them
wazza
+3 -0
IT'S YOUR BEST DEFENCE AGAINST COMMUNISM!
IT'S YOUR BEST DEFENCE AGAINST COMMUNISM!
invidious
+3 -0
I read that as YOU BEST DEFECATE AGAINST COMMUNISM!
I'm still reading it that way. Intentionally.
I read that as YOU BEST DEFECATE AGAINST COMMUNISM!
I'm still reading it that way. Intentionally.
comrade_tom
+4 -0
It's what won the cold war, I don't think anyones going to remember the iconic image of Reagan droppin a dook at checkpoint charley.
Eric Honnecker all taking his glasses off and shaking his head in astoundment.
It's what won the cold war, I don't think anyones going to remember the iconic image of Reagan droppin a dook at checkpoint charley.
Eric Honnecker all taking his glasses off and shaking his head in astoundment.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Reagan all Chuck Palance squinty: "I Crap Big Missiles, Mr. Brezhnev."
Reagan all Chuck Palance squinty: "I Crap Big Missiles, Mr. Brezhnev."
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Jack Palance.
Chuck Pahlaniuk is his cousin.
goddamit.
Jack Palance.
Chuck Pahlaniuk is his cousin.
goddamit.
crunky
+0 -0
"it is one of the best things to appear on the internet this decade." no, it isn't. there's nothing funny about it. i don't know anyone who reads this strip anymore.
"it is one of the best things to appear on the internet this decade." no, it isn't. there's nothing funny about it. i don't know anyone who reads this strip anymore.
nagash
+1 -0
A deep statement on how a man can never truly know himself. 5 stars
A deep statement on how a man can never truly know himself. 5 stars
chromancer
+0 -0
hella slow, did not receive point
would not buy again
hella slow, did not receive point
would not buy again
overmedicated
+0 -0
B^U
B^U
pmbarrett
+0 -0
the terlet pepper is society.
the terlet pepper is society.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
I read this as being from the guy in Overcompensating.
I read this as being from the guy in Overcompensating.
wazza
+0 -0
you mean, Jeffrey J Rowland?
you mean, Jeffrey J Rowland?
plummet
+0 -0
yeah, the fuck who has so little going on in his life that he goes and writes a webcomic telling himself to drink less
It sounds like I'm telling you a bad joke but I'm serious as a heart attack
yeah, the fuck who has so little going on in his life that he goes and writes a webcomic telling himself to drink less
It sounds like I'm telling you a bad joke but I'm serious as a heart attack
tekende
+0 -0
With the advances medicine and surgery have seen over the past few decades, heart attacks aren't necessarily all that serious anymore.
With the advances medicine and surgery have seen over the past few decades, heart attacks aren't necessarily all that serious anymore.
neonfreon
+2 -0
young and immortal yet
young and immortal yet
crom
+15 -0
Yeah, I hated it when people acted like a dick to me when I was on acid. All waving their hands in my face trying to weird me out.
I thought: "I could probably strangle you with your own intestines and get away with manslaughter OH GOD LEAVES ARE ACTUALLY RED AND YELLOW UNDER THE CHLOROPHYLL I WONDER IF I AM TOO."
Yeah, I hated it when people acted like a dick to me when I was on acid. All waving their hands in my face trying to weird me out.
I thought: "I could probably strangle you with your own intestines and get away with manslaughter OH GOD LEAVES ARE ACTUALLY RED AND YELLOW UNDER THE CHLOROPHYLL I WONDER IF I AM TOO."
albinosquid
+0 -0
Agreed...many years ago, I made the mistake of taking acid at a party where the majority were on happy fun time club drugs. After an hour of them alternating between attempted hugs and trying to get me to divulge my life story, I (along with two or three others in similar circumstances) slunk away and hid in a dark room where there would be no unnecessary friendliness, and certainly no people wearing dollar-store fairy wings.
Took me weeks to stop hating those happy people.
Agreed...many years ago, I made the mistake of taking acid at a party where the majority were on happy fun time club drugs. After an hour of them alternating between attempted hugs and trying to get me to divulge my life story, I (along with two or three others in similar circumstances) slunk away and hid in a dark room where there would be no unnecessary friendliness, and certainly no people wearing dollar-store fairy wings.
Took me weeks to stop hating those happy people.
granularsilica
+0 -0
I still hate them.
I still hate them.
shelbydavis
+2 -0
I hate them as his father!
I hate them as his father!
pigeonthunk
+0 -0
BOO
BOO
mockereo
+1 -0
I understand this guy's position... my third last lawn-shitter won low eight figures off me in a crabgrass-reeker-cut lawsuit
I understand this guy's position... my third last lawn-shitter won low eight figures off me in a crabgrass-reeker-cut lawsuit
xi
+0 -0
That face... the blood and sweat... oh man
That face... the blood and sweat... oh man
wazza
+1 -0
pretty sure there are tears by now, too.
Does that make this strip a metaphor for the Battle of France?
pretty sure there are tears by now, too.
Does that make this strip a metaphor for the Battle of France?
thinman
+0 -0
Consider what the OTHER end must look like.
Awful lot of straining by ol' T there. Has to have a new crop of 'roids that resemble a cluster of grapes now.
(I'll bet that he names one of them 'Herman.')
Consider what the OTHER end must look like.
Awful lot of straining by ol' T there. Has to have a new crop of 'roids that resemble a cluster of grapes now.
(I'll bet that he names one of them 'Herman.')
overmedicated
+0 -0
Can I just say very few of the above comments make the slightest bit of sense to me.
Can I just say very few of the above comments make the slightest bit of sense to me.
sustainability
+0 -0
Not with that avatar, not really.
Not with that avatar, not really.
wazza
+0 -0
yes, I hate that avatar. It repeats too often. It should be slowed down by a half.
yes, I hate that avatar. It repeats too often. It should be slowed down by a half.
overmedicated
+0 -0
I hate your avatar because it looks like you are being swallowed by a golem's rectum. So yeah.
I hate your avatar because it looks like you are being swallowed by a golem's rectum. So yeah.
wazza
+0 -0
it looks like I am hatching from a stone egg, actually
and that's a pretty neat concept!
it looks like I am hatching from a stone egg, actually
and that's a pretty neat concept!
overmedicated
+3 -0
It always caused me to make wazza come out of me, onto the ground!
It always caused me to make wazza come out of me, onto the ground!
tekende
+0 -0
Okay, I didn't see this whole discussion when I posted up there about your avatar
But still what is it man
Okay, I didn't see this whole discussion when I posted up there about your avatar
But still what is it man
overmedicated
+0 -0
Presumably by this point it hasn't dawned upon you to google 'banana hat gif' and click on the first link.
Musaceaen Enlightenment.
Presumably by this point it hasn't dawned upon you to google 'banana hat gif' and click on the first link.
Musaceaen Enlightenment.
dybrar
+0 -0
I thought you might like to know that this concept - "a golem's rectum" - has, according to the internet, been proposed before no less than two times: once as part of a comment on some splash screen or another published by Blizzard Entertainment, once in a book by one Chris Lukaniuk. (If you thought that name read "Chuck Palahniuk" at first, particularly considering its connection to the subject of rectums, do not worry; I did so too at first.)
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that the idea of a golem's rectum is not as new and virginal as I initially thought it was, and I think I am vaguely disappointed as a result.
I thought you might like to know that this concept - "a golem's rectum" - has, according to the internet, been proposed before no less than two times: once as part of a comment on some splash screen or another published by Blizzard Entertainment, once in a book by one Chris Lukaniuk. (If you thought that name read "Chuck Palahniuk" at first, particularly considering its connection to the subject of rectums, do not worry; I did so too at first.)
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that the idea of a golem's rectum is not as new and virginal as I initially thought it was, and I think I am vaguely disappointed as a result.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Everything has already been said on the internet. Sorry.
Everything has already been said on the internet. Sorry.
stereo
+0 -0
Did you know a jellyfish's anus is its mouth, too?
Did you know a jellyfish's anus is its mouth, too?
mattylite
+4 -0
God that is hot.
God that is hot.
kindergard
+0 -0
My mom was killed (and eaten) by a jellyfish's anus.
Not cool, not funny.
Too soon.
My mom was killed (and eaten) by a jellyfish's anus.
Not cool, not funny.
Too soon.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
ATTENTION. LSLEN UP.
you are people. i m people. suntines fings change, ya know? peeps change n riht nah dats exactly wat habbin 2 me. i know it. i m slowin' up, gettin back ona my heels when i need be on teh ballsa my feet, hunch forward to dash but dat aint the case i m sittin' back n dang if i can come up with a pome erry now n den it jus aint hapnin (shahruks at near-end o zeer'vara woz verdi good. i cried0) i m cannit fink or nuffink, i m gettin' fatter by teh day i m sleepin durin' day n awake at night n teh last tim i even could go a day wit out finking of azn women was like i cannit even remb. dat far back.
i m fallin efucking apart basically. ya.
life runnin' outta fun i m beginin' to fininink likea teh peeps o olde. i m gots no interactions i m elone.
the caravan of life
has passed me by
there is so much i've:
left undone
i shit alone
things i want to do
in this life are many
and yet
i haven't even start one
i shit alone
i cant work an email,
i ahve no freinds 2 caht 2
i never talk on the phone
this is why
i shit alone
is this some cosmic balancing act
for some crime i must atone?
is this the reason
that i shit alone?
ATTENTION. LSLEN UP.
you are people. i m people. suntines fings change, ya know? peeps change n riht nah dats exactly wat habbin 2 me. i know it. i m slowin' up, gettin back ona my heels when i need be on teh ballsa my feet, hunch forward to dash but dat aint the case i m sittin' back n dang if i can come up with a pome erry now n den it jus aint hapnin (shahruks at near-end o zeer'vara woz verdi good. i cried0) i m cannit fink or nuffink, i m gettin' fatter by teh day i m sleepin durin' day n awake at night n teh last tim i even could go a day wit out finking of azn women was like i cannit even remb. dat far back.
i m fallin efucking apart basically. ya.
life runnin' outta fun i m beginin' to fininink likea teh peeps o olde. i m gots no interactions i m elone.
the caravan of life
has passed me by
there is so much i've:
left undone
i shit alone
things i want to do
in this life are many
and yet
i haven't even start one
i shit alone
i cant work an email,
i ahve no freinds 2 caht 2
i never talk on the phone
this is why
i shit alone
is this some cosmic balancing act
for some crime i must atone?
is this the reason
that i shit alone?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
heheheh Regurgitator song.
heheheh Regurgitator song.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Damn it, the 'gurge song was I Piss Alone. As you were.
Damn it, the 'gurge song was I Piss Alone. As you were.
omegatron
+0 -0
Everyone shits alone.
Everyone shits alone.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
the ironing is delicious
the ironing is delicious
mensch
+0 -0
so is the steeling
so is the steeling
mockereo
+0 -0
sterling puns, gentlemen
sterling puns, gentlemen
plummet
+0 -0
i have felt the pain of shitting alone
that poem is my life right now
i have felt the pain of shitting alone
that poem is my life right now
octafish
+0 -0
If everyone shits alone, who are you looking for out here?
If everyone shits alone, who are you looking for out here?
overmedicated
+0 -0
Huh. Gladi8tor always seemed to me like the kind of guy who would have managed to wangle a blumpkin out of some misguided dame at some point.
Then laughed when she got hit with Blumpkin Blowback.
Huh. Gladi8tor always seemed to me like the kind of guy who would have managed to wangle a blumpkin out of some misguided dame at some point.
Then laughed when she got hit with Blumpkin Blowback.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
wangle, blumpkin.
wangle, blumpkin.
crom
+0 -0
Come now, who hasn't wangled a blumpkin from a suggestible maiden in his day?
Come now, who hasn't wangled a blumpkin from a suggestible maiden in his day?
wazza
+0 -0
I haven't
the one time a female did attempt to encase my member within her lips, she did tell me that she would have to practise with a cucumber before the next time
I am still awaiting the next time
I haven't
the one time a female did attempt to encase my member within her lips, she did tell me that she would have to practise with a cucumber before the next time
I am still awaiting the next time
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Well... that was five hours ago according to Assetbar... is she back yet?
Well... that was five hours ago according to Assetbar... is she back yet?
wazza
+0 -0
oh, no, this was back just after Christmas. My parents were around so she didn't get to practise.
oh, no, this was back just after Christmas. My parents were around so she didn't get to practise.
overmedicated
+1 -0
You strike me as the kind of guy who is full of shit
kinda ironic huh
You strike me as the kind of guy who is full of shit
kinda ironic huh
wazza
+0 -0
how dare you make fun of my chronic constipation overmedicated
how dare you make fun of my chronic constipation overmedicated
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Mayner knows which side of his bread is buttered, this much is known.
Mayner knows which side of his bread is buttered, this much is known.
jean-paul
+0 -0
Well, after the most recent run of brilliance Onstad was bound to have a bad one in him.
Uhh... let me rephrase that...
Well, after the most recent run of brilliance Onstad was bound to have a bad one in him.
Uhh... let me rephrase that...
benet
+0 -0
I don't think drug addicts remember the places they've been. They just end up in the same places for some inexplicable reason...
I don't think drug addicts remember the places they've been. They just end up in the same places for some inexplicable reason...
kom_pot
+0 -0
UNF
UNF
coldfrog
+0 -0
Hey, if I could remember where I've been, I'd be dangerous too. It's just that all those years of healthy eating and exercise have impaired my long term memory.
Hey, if I could remember where I've been, I'd be dangerous too. It's just that all those years of healthy eating and exercise have impaired my long term memory.
chubbychecker
+0 -0
shit happens
shit happens
tekende
+4 -0
"Doodie-Boy on a Acid Trip" is the second single from the album Active Pathways and the Victim Side by Of Montreal, released in early 2011.
CHART (2011) Peak Position
UK Singles Chart 32
US Billboard Hot 100 14
Canadian Hot 100 8
"Doodie-Boy on a Acid Trip" is the second single from the album Active Pathways and the Victim Side by Of Montreal, released in early 2011.
CHART (2011) Peak Position
UK Singles Chart 32
US Billboard Hot 100 14
Canadian Hot 100 8
tekende
+0 -0
Fuck you, BBCode. Fuck you straight to hell.
Fuck you, BBCode. Fuck you straight to hell.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You can't fuck BBCode when you're screwing HTML.
You can't fuck BBCode when you're screwing HTML.
wazza
+0 -0
you can, but do not expect either of them to approve of such behaviour.
you can, but do not expect either of them to approve of such behaviour.
tekende
+0 -0
The HTML was my fault, yes. But I had that post kind of nicely formatted (via judicious use of spaces) so that the chart list wasn't crammed together like that and BBCode straight up laughed in my face and ruined that.
The HTML was my fault, yes. But I had that post kind of nicely formatted (via judicious use of spaces) so that the chart list wasn't crammed together like that and BBCode straight up laughed in my face and ruined that.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
BBcode done made you its doody-boy, Tekende.
BBcode done made you its doody-boy, Tekende.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
BBCode sees more than three spaces in a row and literally laughs maliciously and shoves you aside, like a cartoon walrus or hippo.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that male walruses and hippos in old cartoons are rich (or at least well-dressed) and very rude, also they laugh like UH HYUK YUK YUK YUK.
BBCode sees more than three spaces in a row and literally laughs maliciously and shoves you aside, like a cartoon walrus or hippo.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that male walruses and hippos in old cartoons are rich (or at least well-dressed) and very rude, also they laugh like UH HYUK YUK YUK YUK.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
They're pretty rude in real life too.
They're pretty rude in real life too.
mockereo
+0 -0
yeah they wear monocles just to be presumptuous.
yeah they wear monocles just to be presumptuous.
chumley
+2 -0
I must disagree.
I must disagree.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
[url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nql1_RKwQt0"]Look nae further.[/url]
[url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nql1_RKwQt0"]Look nae further.[/url]
mattylite
+0 -0
I thought you said nude, not rude. I guess both are true.
I thought you said nude, not rude. I guess both are true.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Until they are so rude.
Until they are so rude.
r1pp3r
+0 -0
I chubbied for the naked HTML, oh yeah ...
I chubbied for the naked HTML, oh yeah ...
doppelganger
+1 -0
All the coprophiles just shut their computers off in disgust -- "is that all there is?"
All the coprophiles just shut their computers off in disgust -- "is that all there is?"
wazza
+1 -0
except for the Chinese. I heard they are ok with small ones.
except for the Chinese. I heard they are ok with small ones.
urbanoutlaw
+0 -0
I like how their entire conversation is conducted at maximum volume.
I like how their entire conversation is conducted at maximum volume.
lateadopter
+2 -0
There will be no comeuppance for Nice Pete, and this upsets me.
There will be no comeuppance for Nice Pete, and this upsets me.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
Sometimes comeuppance is delayed, e.g. Bensington Butters.
Also, I'm not sure Pete isn't going to be waiting in Teodor's closet with the intent of continuing these adventures. This night might not be over.
Sometimes comeuppance is delayed, e.g. Bensington Butters.
Also, I'm not sure Pete isn't going to be waiting in Teodor's closet with the intent of continuing these adventures. This night might not be over.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
No comeuppance! The man was stabbed in the face by his own USB knife. Be patient lateadopter.
No comeuppance! The man was stabbed in the face by his own USB knife. Be patient lateadopter.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Quandary: I haven't been able to rate strips for a while, like everybody, but I really wanted to rate that last few very, very low. Horror and torture make me want to puke. But I want to rate this strip a 5-plus; it's just hilarious. I can't have this strip without the previous ones. So there I am.
Quandary: I haven't been able to rate strips for a while, like everybody, but I really wanted to rate that last few very, very low. Horror and torture make me want to puke. But I want to rate this strip a 5-plus; it's just hilarious. I can't have this strip without the previous ones. So there I am.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I think the British TV series League of Gentlemen may change your mind on Horror and Torture used for comedic device.
That or you'll be horrifically scarred.
I think the British TV series League of Gentlemen may change your mind on Horror and Torture used for comedic device.
That or you'll be horrifically scarred.
octafish
+0 -0
Is Dave there?
I got some pegs belonging to you !
You're my wife now Dave.
Is Dave there?
I got some pegs belonging to you !
You're my wife now Dave.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Ohhhh Octafish, Octafish, my very own Octafish.
Ohhhh Octafish, Octafish, my very own Octafish.
ratacattt
+0 -0
I want to buy Teodor poop from the gift shop. Options:
encased in plexiglass
lucky teodor poop keychain
Teodor poop globe (similar to snow globe)
Teodor poop breakfast cereal
Teodor poop tshirt (authentic smears and stains)
I want to buy Teodor poop from the gift shop. Options:
encased in plexiglass
lucky teodor poop keychain
Teodor poop globe (similar to snow globe)
Teodor poop breakfast cereal
Teodor poop tshirt (authentic smears and stains)
plummet
+1 -0
Teodor Poop Beermugs(floats in your drink amusingly)
Teodor Poop Beermugs(floats in your drink amusingly)
ratacattt
+1 -0
I wonder if it's a magical turd. maybe it's going to appear again in future episodes.
"Teodor!! Teodor!! why did you abandon me??!??"
I wonder if it's a magical turd. maybe it's going to appear again in future episodes.
"Teodor!! Teodor!! why did you abandon me??!??"
fattypneumonia
+3 -0
Tacodor! Tacodor! lama sabachthani?
Tacodor! Tacodor! lama sabachthani?
crom
+0 -0
That's an obscure and somewhat blasphemous reference that I very much enjoy.
That's an obscure and somewhat blasphemous reference that I very much enjoy.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Nothing obscure about it--it's probably the most famous Hebrew phrase there is among non-Hebrew speakers. (I am going to be very embarrassed if the phrase turns out to be Aramaic.)
Nothing obscure about it--it's probably the most famous Hebrew phrase there is among non-Hebrew speakers. (I am going to be very embarrassed if the phrase turns out to be Aramaic.)
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It is Aramaic, you putz.
Best 2 out of 3?
It is Aramaic, you putz.
Best 2 out of 3?
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Let's go with sudden death:
If you used Google, it's a tie.
Let's go with sudden death:
If you used Google, it's a tie.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn?
Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn?
dusty
+0 -0
Maybe nice Pete really did make a run for the border.
Maybe nice Pete really did make a run for the border.
caduceo
+0 -0
this strip cheered me up
this strip cheered me up
tagnil
+4 -0
Ok, this is BY FAR my least favorite story arc ever. It's creepy, it's disgusting, its disturbing. I really expected a feel-good homecoming for Philippe, and instead I get to see Teador psychologically tortured in strip after strip. I love Achewood, I think Nice Pete is an interesting character, but I hate this arc.
Ok, this is BY FAR my least favorite story arc ever. It's creepy, it's disgusting, its disturbing. I really expected a feel-good homecoming for Philippe, and instead I get to see Teador psychologically tortured in strip after strip. I love Achewood, I think Nice Pete is an interesting character, but I hate this arc.
tekende
+5 -0
Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
lordparadise
+0 -0
I'll agree that this one was weak, but I really enjoyed the first two at least.
I'll agree that this one was weak, but I really enjoyed the first two at least.
mattylite
+0 -0
I chubbied this, and it got me to wondering: what are the sources of the most-chubbied references around here? My guesses:
1. other achewood strips
2. Big Lebowski
3. Marx brothers
4. xkcd strips
5. huh, I was pretty sure I'd think of some more to make this worthwhile.
I chubbied this, and it got me to wondering: what are the sources of the most-chubbied references around here? My guesses:
1. other achewood strips
2. Big Lebowski
3. Marx brothers
4. xkcd strips
5. huh, I was pretty sure I'd think of some more to make this worthwhile.
stereo
+0 -0
The want to cum guy.
Lord of the Rings?
The want to cum guy.
Lord of the Rings?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
pomes
pomes
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well, that's just, like, your opium man.
Well, that's just, like, your opium man.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
It's just like life. Sometimes you don't want to look.
Or dook.
I am hoping that this will tie together somehow with Philippe, although I can't imagine a way that could end well.
It's just like life. Sometimes you don't want to look.
Or dook.
I am hoping that this will tie together somehow with Philippe, although I can't imagine a way that could end well.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
This shit does not have to end well for Onstad to dream it into our EYES!
This shit does not have to end well for Onstad to dream it into our EYES!
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
I like it, I just don't like that it's most of what we get for a month.
(I know there's other stuff going on in the fanflow, but I have to not subscribe out of principle. I ordered a Dude & Catastrophe pint glass during the store transition back in '08 and never got it, even after e-mailing Onstad a bunch of times.)
I like it, I just don't like that it's most of what we get for a month.
(I know there's other stuff going on in the fanflow, but I have to not subscribe out of principle. I ordered a Dude & Catastrophe pint glass during the store transition back in '08 and never got it, even after e-mailing Onstad a bunch of times.)
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Jesus man... I'll go on the fanflow and ask for it again for you... I have no pride. I got my Pint Glass and my flatmate smashed it. Consider it some kind of absurd Karma.
Jesus man... I'll go on the fanflow and ask for it again for you... I have no pride. I got my Pint Glass and my flatmate smashed it. Consider it some kind of absurd Karma.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Just Téodor's luck to be force-laying cable on a goober's lawn. Now the goober will forever have a more lush and verdant spot of grass in the shape of a stuffed bear turd.
Just Téodor's luck to be force-laying cable on a goober's lawn. Now the goober will forever have a more lush and verdant spot of grass in the shape of a stuffed bear turd.
theirateturk
+0 -0
"...AND YOU BE STRAININ, AND ALL THAT COMES OUT IS ONE LITTLE PEBBLE SHIT"
"...AND YOU BE STRAININ, AND ALL THAT COMES OUT IS ONE LITTLE PEBBLE SHIT"
neonfreon
+0 -0
in california, it would be illegal to shoot teodor in this situation.
in texas, it would be perfectly legal!!!!!!! REMEMBER GOLIAD, BITCHES
in california, it would be illegal to shoot teodor in this situation.
in texas, it would be perfectly legal!!!!!!! REMEMBER GOLIAD, BITCHES
plummet
+1 -0
I take it Goliad was someone in Texas who got butthurt about someone shitting on his lawn, and Took his life for it?
I take it Goliad was someone in Texas who got butthurt about someone shitting on his lawn, and Took his life for it?
invidious
+1 -0
GOLIAD! WHAT NEWS FROM THE... er, south?
GOLIAD! WHAT NEWS FROM THE... er, south?
un_malpaso
+1 -0
In Kennesaw, Georgia, it would actually be required by law to shoot Teodor.
Also shouting "EAT BUCKSHOT, HOMESHITTER," while not strictly obligatory, would be legal and smiled upon.
In Kennesaw, Georgia, it would actually be required by law to shoot Teodor.
Also shouting "EAT BUCKSHOT, HOMESHITTER," while not strictly obligatory, would be legal and smiled upon.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Teodor is not a Japanese high school student. Why would you kill him?
Teodor is not a Japanese high school student. Why would you kill him?
wazza
+0 -0
because he is not a Japanese high school student, and only they are allowed* to shit on my lawn.
*read "required"
because he is not a Japanese high school student, and only they are allowed* to shit on my lawn.
*read "required"
plummet
+0 -0
best new story arc of 2010
You can't prove me wrong.
best new story arc of 2010
You can't prove me wrong.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Ah - 'terlet pepper' I get it.
I often wonder about 'recycled terlet pepper' who recycles it? and what do they say they do for a living?
Does anyone shake them by the hand?
Ah - 'terlet pepper' I get it.
I often wonder about 'recycled terlet pepper' who recycles it? and what do they say they do for a living?
Does anyone shake them by the hand?
fattypneumonia
+1 -0
Recycled terlet pepper is made from recycled terlet peppercorns.
Recycled terlet pepper is made from recycled terlet peppercorns.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
I wondered if turlet pepper was related to jalapeno pepper and whether there was a special applicator.
I wondered if turlet pepper was related to jalapeno pepper and whether there was a special applicator.
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
WHY FIND OUT
WHY FIND OUT
nullzero
+0 -0
All Teodor needed to do is act like a dog. I'm sure Mayner would understand. Running away like that is just an admission of guilt.
All Teodor needed to do is act like a dog. I'm sure Mayner would understand. Running away like that is just an admission of guilt.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
I hate the way he looks when he runs.
I hate the way he looks when he runs.
robbiemofo
+0 -0
Mayner has a lot of experience with handling lawn-type situations. This is nothing to him.
Teodor is very lucky to be crapping here.
Mayner has a lot of experience with handling lawn-type situations. This is nothing to him.
Teodor is very lucky to be crapping here.
epicurus
+0 -0
That is not the Math Teacher's house.
That is not the Math Teacher's house.
wingspan
+1 -0
Lurquilla's "math teacher name" is Eleanor "Ms. Carlson" Carlson.
Lurquilla's "math teacher name" is Eleanor "Ms. Carlson" Carlson.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
The overhang from T's belly now covers his cranberry dong.
This wasn't always the case.
When I read an arc in which Teodor not wearing pants is a crucial plot point I expect to see somne cranberry dong.
Not funny, not a cool strip.
The overhang from T's belly now covers his cranberry dong.
This wasn't always the case.
When I read an arc in which Teodor not wearing pants is a crucial plot point I expect to see somne cranberry dong.
Not funny, not a cool strip.
plummet
+0 -0
he got fatter is all.
he got fatter is all.
overmedicated
+0 -0
Fear causes retraction.
Fear causes retraction.
missbee
+3 -0
Hey, my mother died of retraction. Not funny, not cool, not a good offhand remark.
Hey, my mother died of retraction. Not funny, not cool, not a good offhand remark.
wazza
+0 -0
it worries me that females can even have retraction.
it worries me that females can even have retraction.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
I saw it happen once. Kinda like eating a lemon.
I saw it happen once. Kinda like eating a lemon.
octafish
+0 -0
So, uh, where have you been, 'cause I can't remember.
So, uh, where have you been, 'cause I can't remember.
senseihollywood
+0 -0
The word ain't don't mean what I reckon Mr. Onstad thinks it means...
The word ain't don't mean what I reckon Mr. Onstad thinks it means...
barthdrooks
+0 -0
Turd is cool.
Turd is cool.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
The next time you see Andy Larson, you both fall all over the floor laughing your asses off, making little abortive statements that devolve into more laughing, and then as the laughter starts to die down, you lean over and whisper in Andy's ear, "You ever pull some shit like that again, I'll hunt you down like a rabid dog." And then you both fall out laughing again, but he knows! Even Peter Cropes ain't bulletproof.
The next time you see Andy Larson, you both fall all over the floor laughing your asses off, making little abortive statements that devolve into more laughing, and then as the laughter starts to die down, you lean over and whisper in Andy's ear, "You ever pull some shit like that again, I'll hunt you down like a rabid dog." And then you both fall out laughing again, but he knows! Even Peter Cropes ain't bulletproof.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
point of order: Peter Cropes is bulletproof.
point of order: Peter Cropes is bulletproof.
null
+1 -0
I'm thinking Teodore will cancel most appointments for the next couple of days and finally work his way through the remastered Monty Python DVDs while trying very hard to forget several things.
I'm thinking Teodore will cancel most appointments for the next couple of days and finally work his way through the remastered Monty Python DVDs while trying very hard to forget several things.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Teodore going through Monty Python remasters is wickedly banal and just perfect. Chubby for you.
Teodore going through Monty Python remasters is wickedly banal and just perfect. Chubby for you.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
Knowing that Pete has no issue with coming up to your window at 1:53am and coercing you into naked high school roleplay, would you go home at this point? I would think about this decision.
Knowing that Pete has no issue with coming up to your window at 1:53am and coercing you into naked high school roleplay, would you go home at this point? I would think about this decision.
dybrar
+0 -0
Home seems very much not like a Safe Place right now for the small bear, it is true. In fact it seems rather Unsafe.
Home seems very much not like a Safe Place right now for the small bear, it is true. In fact it seems rather Unsafe.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Just in case anyone was in any doubt, I'm drunk, and I'm over-posting! Hoorah.
Just in case anyone was in any doubt, I'm drunk, and I'm over-posting! Hoorah.
thegoblins
+1 -0
You guys, good news. I am finally getting laid for the first time in 22 years!
You guys, good news. I am finally getting laid for the first time in 22 years!
woodenteeth
+7 -0
It seemed like only yesterday you were riding the bike... now you're on your way to being one! *sniffle*
It seemed like only yesterday you were riding the bike... now you're on your way to being one! *sniffle*
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
This is a funny comment.
This is a funny comment.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I tried to make people laugh with it, I'm glad you could tell.
I tried to make people laugh with it, I'm glad you could tell.
howl
+0 -0
put the fun between your legs?
put the fun between your legs?
woodenteeth
+3 -0
Wait. Do you mean right now? You logged on while he logged in?
Wait. Do you mean right now? You logged on while he logged in?
thegoblins
+1 -0
I meant in general. As in, it's an ongoing situation. Fuckin'.
I meant in general. As in, it's an ongoing situation. Fuckin'.
ratacattt
+1 -0
congrats my advice is don't get too emotionally attached girls get really emotionally attached sometimes well so do guys sometimes but girls is more often than guys and well it's bound to end with discovering that there are significant reasons why it should could would and has to end and pick up with someone else
try different condoms right, try super thin, super thick, etc etc until you find one that won't slip off and result in a fishing expedition. stay away from the lamb skin dumbest fucking idea ever because they don't stop hiv but on the plus side they do look real cool when they dry up in the morning weirdest fucking thing ever you can put it over the teddy bear's head and such also if you start to wonder if you're a lesbian and you wind up with a lot of effeminate boy friends then you probably are a lesbian. okay well that's some helpful sex hints. would you be so kind as to send videos I will pay postage if it helps.
congrats my advice is don't get too emotionally attached girls get really emotionally attached sometimes well so do guys sometimes but girls is more often than guys and well it's bound to end with discovering that there are significant reasons why it should could would and has to end and pick up with someone else
try different condoms right, try super thin, super thick, etc etc until you find one that won't slip off and result in a fishing expedition. stay away from the lamb skin dumbest fucking idea ever because they don't stop hiv but on the plus side they do look real cool when they dry up in the morning weirdest fucking thing ever you can put it over the teddy bear's head and such also if you start to wonder if you're a lesbian and you wind up with a lot of effeminate boy friends then you probably are a lesbian. okay well that's some helpful sex hints. would you be so kind as to send videos I will pay postage if it helps.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Who the fuck takes advice about sex from some anonymous commenter on a cartoon strip about talking cats and a bear who is a chef?
I'm just astounded at the sheer bare-faced effrontery of it all.
Who the fuck takes advice about sex from some anonymous commenter on a cartoon strip about talking cats and a bear who is a chef?
I'm just astounded at the sheer bare-faced effrontery of it all.
ratacattt
+0 -0
what do you mean? I take advice from Nice Pete all the time!
what do you mean? I take advice from Nice Pete all the time!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Eh. We had a romantic day at the lake yesterday and all that. I think it's best to ride out the wave. No pun intended.
Eh. We had a romantic day at the lake yesterday and all that. I think it's best to ride out the wave. No pun intended.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
So is this.
So is this.
wazza
+0 -0
Is true. All robot guys have basic Ethernet. Read email during boff, surf web, whatever is needed.
Is true. All robot guys have basic Ethernet. Read email during boff, surf web, whatever is needed.
mr-siegal
+1 -0
Can anyone confirm this? You are, after all, an unreliable witness.
Can anyone confirm this? You are, after all, an unreliable witness.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
You've been generating chubbies right and left, and only now getting laid?
You've been generating chubbies right and left, and only now getting laid?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Is a guy totally rocking your can? Did you ever think it would be like this?
Is a guy totally rocking your can? Did you ever think it would be like this?
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
You know what? I apologize. It's pretty rude to ask if you let him in the back door on your first time.
This is your first time, right? I mean, your phrase "first time in 22 yeers" isn't meant to imply that you're like 25 years old and this is the first time you're getting laid since a priest fingered you when you were 3...?
You know what? I apologize. It's pretty rude to ask if you let him in the back door on your first time.
This is your first time, right? I mean, your phrase "first time in 22 yeers" isn't meant to imply that you're like 25 years old and this is the first time you're getting laid since a priest fingered you when you were 3...?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You know what? I apologize. It's pretty creepy to bring up child molestation when discussing your first time.
I should've logged in as ratacattt for these comments, damn.
You know what? I apologize. It's pretty creepy to bring up child molestation when discussing your first time.
I should've logged in as ratacattt for these comments, damn.
thegoblins
+0 -0
No, this is my first time. And no, I haven't let him put his dick in there, but there has been some...never mind.
No, this is my first time. And no, I haven't let him put his dick in there, but there has been some...never mind.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Seriously, the goblins, have fun having sex.
You just let him stick whatever you want him to where ever you want him to, and the good lord God will provide.
Seriously, the goblins, have fun having sex.
You just let him stick whatever you want him to where ever you want him to, and the good lord God will provide.
thegoblins
+0 -0
there is a comfort level involved. And one can't just try everything in one night. One has to sleep.
there is a comfort level involved. And one can't just try everything in one night. One has to sleep.
octafish
+0 -0
Careful, that is exactly how I became a father.
Careful, that is exactly how I became a father.
thegoblins
+1 -0
I've already resorted to emergency contraception in a panic. But I'm drinking a lot in the hopes that it will kill any embryo I might have formed.
I've already resorted to emergency contraception in a panic. But I'm drinking a lot in the hopes that it will kill any embryo I might have formed.
crom
+4 -0
Daaamn! That answer could use some work!
Daaamn! That answer could use some work!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
REALLY!?! You have to put in EVERYWHERE before it works?
REALLY!?! You have to put in EVERYWHERE before it works?
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Squeeze her knee, thumb in her anus, forefinger in her ear, toe in her mouth...
aaaaaand pregnancy. Now the Goblins, when a man and a woman love Twister very much...
Squeeze her knee, thumb in her anus, forefinger in her ear, toe in her mouth...
aaaaaand pregnancy. Now the Goblins, when a man and a woman love Twister very much...
wazza
+0 -0
is it my turn next?
is... is it too soon to ask?
is it my turn next?
is... is it too soon to ask?
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Hang on, man. I call seniority.
Hang on, man. I call seniority.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm sort of keeping this dick around for now because it knows what its doing. And Emotions. Now, now.
I'm sort of keeping this dick around for now because it knows what its doing. And Emotions. Now, now.
wazza
+0 -0
I was meaning my turn to get any kind of action
thegoblins action always seemed like too much for this poor sinner to dream of.
I was meaning my turn to get any kind of action
thegoblins action always seemed like too much for this poor sinner to dream of.
thegoblins
+0 -0
My league is a league of intense weirdness. And chocolate milk.
My league is a league of intense weirdness. And chocolate milk.
wazza
+0 -0
sounds good to me
sounds good to me
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
A dick that don't know what it's doing can get a playa iced in this town.
(hope it works our for ya, kid )
A dick that don't know what it's doing can get a playa iced in this town.
(hope it works our for ya, kid )
thegoblins
+0 -0
"Terrible. He fuck my bladder, he fuck my colon, he do weird eye thing."
"Terrible. He fuck my bladder, he fuck my colon, he do weird eye thing."
wazza
+0 -0
merely being with someone who has the ability, should they ever desire to, to fuck your bladder guarantees an awful night.
merely being with someone who has the ability, should they ever desire to, to fuck your bladder guarantees an awful night.
azairborne
+2 -0
Most dogs generally follow the same process in panels 14a - 14f but adding, of course, a sniff of the turd between 14d and 14e.
When they sniff the turd I like to say "that is mine; run away! run away!" to narrate.
I say this out loud each time.
Most dogs generally follow the same process in panels 14a - 14f but adding, of course, a sniff of the turd between 14d and 14e.
When they sniff the turd I like to say "that is mine; run away! run away!" to narrate.
I say this out loud each time.
mockereo
+0 -0
sometimes they stop a few feet away and kick at the grass with their hind legs too.
i don't know why they do this.
sometimes they stop a few feet away and kick at the grass with their hind legs too.
i don't know why they do this.
daidai
+0 -0
I'm not sure if anybody has said it yet, but UNF is the greatest onomatopoeia for shitting ever written.
I know Onstad didn't invent it, but wonderful usage of the available shit-onomatopoeia repertoire.
I'm not sure if anybody has said it yet, but UNF is the greatest onomatopoeia for shitting ever written.
I know Onstad didn't invent it, but wonderful usage of the available shit-onomatopoeia repertoire.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
GRNTF is also very evocative!
*golf clap*
GRNTF is also very evocative!
*golf clap*
mintyhelminthes
+0 -0
best ever
best ever
shakey
+0 -0
Teodor is having the devil of a morning, and he needs no authorial explanation to state as such for the rest of the day.
Teodor is having the devil of a morning, and he needs no authorial explanation to state as such for the rest of the day.
god what a dinky turd
He just woke up and hadn't eaten anything, alright?
B'GAW!
How can you make chicken noises at a webcomic when there are orphans starving in Africa?
Well, you can stop bellowing any time now.
Look out bellow; you've received low marx.
stop ganging up on him!
I'm afraid you just laid an egg there, grouchy. Saul right if other folks don't pay homage to your idols.
Hella username-avatar-comment synergy going on right here.
No it wasnt!
yes it was
Do you know how right he is? Do you even know?
Do you know how dangerous BBCode code is if you use it right? Do you even know?
You're the first person that ever stood up for me on assetbar.
Do I win some sort of prize? Or perhaps a trophy or X-Box achievement?
HUUUUGS!
oh capn, my capn!
he needed that taco bell, evidently.
Nice Pete had things in the wrong order
Performance anxiety
Houston, we have liftoff. It is one small turd for a bear, one giant turd for bear-kind.
A comment left by mensch was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by woneLOVE, obeymydog, cailetshadow, Mizzip)
You know what they say about bears with small turds, right?
those bears surely have small assholes
god what a turdy dink
You expect entirely too much from a stuffed bear. The fact that it happened at all is enough to melt one's brain.
Good point.
Also, he's a stuffed bear. The fact that he is shitting at all is nothing less than a miracle of modern science.