waddlerz
+3 -0
Look at the fear on Beef's face in panel 8, and the pure shame in panel 10. Sheer emotion made the owner feel sympathetic towards beef. Thankfully, he wasn't a prick like Pat.
Look at the fear on Beef's face in panel 8, and the pure shame in panel 10. Sheer emotion made the owner feel sympathetic towards beef. Thankfully, he wasn't a prick like Pat.
fattybeaver
+3 -2
I think its because he WAS like Pat that he let him off the hook. He knows where he's at man.
I think its because he WAS like Pat that he let him off the hook. He knows where he's at man.
waddlerz
+0 -1
Obviously my post did not come off as I wanted it to. I meant that it is a good thing the owner wasn't a dick like pat, but it's good that he is like Pat in other ways. My mistake on not writing my post the right way the first time.
Obviously my post did not come off as I wanted it to. I meant that it is a good thing the owner wasn't a dick like pat, but it's good that he is like Pat in other ways. My mistake on not writing my post the right way the first time.
baryonyx
+2 -0
In the interest of accuracy, though, the "... or what you like" in these sort of speeches was not seen until the invention of the internet.
In the interest of accuracy, though, the "... or what you like" in these sort of speeches was not seen until the invention of the internet.
fermatprime
+0 -0
The talking cat is holding a magazine featuring nude and nearly-nude human males. "Or what" makes perfect sense here.
The talking cat is holding a magazine featuring nude and nearly-nude human males. "Or what" makes perfect sense here.
hateandwar
+8 -0
Kind of bothers me that every mention of Pat in assetbar has to have some reference to his sexuality. Like that's a defining trait of his personality. I don't know about you guys, but when I think of Pat, I think of him yelling at Arthur. I think of getting worked up because Vlad left rude messages on his message board. I picture a guy rewarding Roast Beef with shitty health food after Beef did his taxes for him. I do not picture Pat takin' it in the can.
I take that all back, when I think of Pat the first thing I usually think of is that image of him waving sausages around with his meat tent pitched. Forget I said anything.
Kind of bothers me that every mention of Pat in assetbar has to have some reference to his sexuality. Like that's a defining trait of his personality. I don't know about you guys, but when I think of Pat, I think of him yelling at Arthur. I think of getting worked up because Vlad left rude messages on his message board. I picture a guy rewarding Roast Beef with shitty health food after Beef did his taxes for him. I do not picture Pat takin' it in the can.
I take that all back, when I think of Pat the first thing I usually think of is that image of him waving sausages around with his meat tent pitched. Forget I said anything.
sje46
+0 -1
:meat tent pitched?" You mean :cat cock erect"?
:meat tent pitched?" You mean :cat cock erect"?
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
belgand
+1 -0
Because he's too uptight to go to Folsom. He wants to. He lusts to go to Rosamunde for some amazing sausages and then skip across town to Folsom and get his freaky on, but he cannot.
He is in a closet of his own construction and it seems unlikely that he will ever be able to come out of it.
Because he's too uptight to go to Folsom. He wants to. He lusts to go to Rosamunde for some amazing sausages and then skip across town to Folsom and get his freaky on, but he cannot.
He is in a closet of his own construction and it seems unlikely that he will ever be able to come out of it.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
sje46
+0 -0
Come again?
Come again?
belgand
+0 -0
*UUURRRMMMHHKKHHH......ahhhMMMM!*
*UUURRRMMMHHKKHHH......ahhhMMMM!*
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Oh la la!
Also an alternate version of panel 14, where Assistant Manager Nolan materializes to see what the commotion is about.
Oh la la!
Also an alternate version of panel 14, where Assistant Manager Nolan materializes to see what the commotion is about.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
If only Pat would accept who he is on the inside, and stop being such a vegan prick. Why can't he be a sausage-flailing crazyman? Why?
achilleselbow
+18 -0
Okay, jeez, he'll work on it.
Okay, jeez, he'll work on it.
daedala_x
+6 -1
come aboard! watch your step! gaze in amazement as we follow our captain, achilleselbow, on his vigilant quest to spot every white bellied multiple post and reply to it with a whimsical corrective or invective!
come aboard! watch your step! gaze in amazement as we follow our captain, achilleselbow, on his vigilant quest to spot every white bellied multiple post and reply to it with a whimsical corrective or invective!
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
holy shit I only clicked "post" once. I SWEAR TO GOD.
holy shit I only clicked "post" once. I SWEAR TO GOD.
biff
+1 -1
That's what they all say.
That's what they all say.
sje46
+0 -0
Before hedonismbot rapes them.
Before hedonismbot rapes them.
stereo
+0 -2
And then he rapes them.
And then he rapes them.
layzerblade
+0 -0
The proverbial "tent" refers, I always thought, to the tent of fabric made by the erection, as opposed to the erection itself, which is really more of a meat obelisk.
The proverbial "tent" refers, I always thought, to the tent of fabric made by the erection, as opposed to the erection itself, which is really more of a meat obelisk.
hateandwar
+0 -0
But if the boner is big enough, you could camp under it in the event of a storm or maybe just rest there when the sun is too hot.
But if the boner is big enough, you could camp under it in the event of a storm or maybe just rest there when the sun is too hot.
bhlaab
+1 -1
I don't think you get the joke
I don't think you get the joke
wolfensti
+0 -0
is that a fucking banjo playing OYSTER ?!?
is that a fucking banjo playing OYSTER ?!?
feste
+9 -0
Waldenbooks employees have always been deeply concerned about social justice. At there stores, you will always find a shoulder to cry on and, somewhere behind the counter, a book that will tell you it is all OK.
Waldenbooks employees have always been deeply concerned about social justice. At there stores, you will always find a shoulder to cry on and, somewhere behind the counter, a book that will tell you it is all OK.
feste
+1 -0
"their," blastit. I am not a clever man.
"their," blastit. I am not a clever man.
scorpio_nadir
+6 -0
Waldenbooks = The Dude and a Free Pass Trophy.
And with that bad pun, Brutus falls upon sword.
Waldenbooks = The Dude and a Free Pass Trophy.
And with that bad pun, Brutus falls upon sword.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
they closed them all down in the midwest for this reason exactly
they closed them all down in the midwest for this reason exactly
postblank
+1 -0
John Waters, you're the best book store security guy ever.
John Waters, you're the best book store security guy ever.
sje46
+0 -0
It is weird how one is reminded of him even though he has a thick, not thin, mustache.
It is weird how one is reminded of him even though he has a thick, not thin, mustache.
sidd2600
+0 -0
In the good old days, you could accidentally steal pornography from a Waldenbooks. Now they just want to sign you up for their booksellers club. A step backwards? I think so.
In the good old days, you could accidentally steal pornography from a Waldenbooks. Now they just want to sign you up for their booksellers club. A step backwards? I think so.
ghoti
+0 -0
If you'll re-read the first three panels, and indeed the whole strip, you'll find that it was clearly premeditated.
If you'll re-read the first three panels, and indeed the whole strip, you'll find that it was clearly premeditated.
aparrish
+12 -0
I wonder if the store manager ever thinks back... thinks back to the day he saved that wonderful young man.
I wonder if the store manager ever thinks back... thinks back to the day he saved that wonderful young man.
fireking
+1 -0
THIS MONTH: BEN
THIS MONTH: BEN
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Is he gentle?
Is he gentle?
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Well, he's certainly not a bear.
Well, he's certainly not a bear.
drskradley
+1 -0
Nor even an otter.
The lack of moustache or body hair does not make me think 80's gay porn. 90's, yes.
Watch in awe as Redphillip comes and tells me otherwise. He's my go-to guy for gay porn. Wait...let me rephrase that...
Nor even an otter.
The lack of moustache or body hair does not make me think 80's gay porn. 90's, yes.
Watch in awe as Redphillip comes and tells me otherwise. He's my go-to guy for gay porn. Wait...let me rephrase that...
daidai
+0 -0
all callin colons "fleshy nests" and "meat tubes" and whatnot...
all callin colons "fleshy nests" and "meat tubes" and whatnot...
redphillip
+1 -0
You're entirely correct, good Doctor. The depilated look began to appear in some films in the mid to late '80s, but Playgirl was deliberately far behind the wave. After all, it wasn't really gay [winking].
I'm pleased to serve my colleagues of the Assetbar as a resource for research on gay porn. What we need more of is Science!
You're entirely correct, good Doctor. The depilated look began to appear in some films in the mid to late '80s, but Playgirl was deliberately far behind the wave. After all, it wasn't really gay [winking].
I'm pleased to serve my colleagues of the Assetbar as a resource for research on gay porn. What we need more of is Science!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Homosexual Science!
I want to apologize for Rick Warren. That guy is a douche who also writes misleading books.
Homosexual Science!
I want to apologize for Rick Warren. That guy is a douche who also writes misleading books.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Were....were you the guy who recommended him to Obama's vetting team?
Were....were you the guy who recommended him to Obama's vetting team?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Maybe?
Maybe?
breastman
+3 -1
Once upon a time in a place far far away, I did work as a lifeguard, as spoken of old. In this place, a young boy about 11 or 12 years old continually mis-used the word "homosexual". He began using it as a verb.
At a convenient point in the narative, I asked him if he knew what the word meant.
"You bet I do! What do you think I am? Studpid or something?"
"Well, no, I just don't know if you have the right idea here" sez I. "What exactly do you think it means?"
He said "I know what it means! I've seen it".
"Of course you have but could you be a little more plain?" I asked.
"Yeah! Last Sunday morning, I got up early cause I heard some grunting noises. I looked into my parents bedroom and saw my dad homosexualizing my mother!!! Don't tell me what it means; I've seen it!"
Once upon a time in a place far far away, I did work as a lifeguard, as spoken of old. In this place, a young boy about 11 or 12 years old continually mis-used the word "homosexual". He began using it as a verb.
At a convenient point in the narative, I asked him if he knew what the word meant.
"You bet I do! What do you think I am? Studpid or something?"
"Well, no, I just don't know if you have the right idea here" sez I. "What exactly do you think it means?"
He said "I know what it means! I've seen it".
"Of course you have but could you be a little more plain?" I asked.
"Yeah! Last Sunday morning, I got up early cause I heard some grunting noises. I looked into my parents bedroom and saw my dad homosexualizing my mother!!! Don't tell me what it means; I've seen it!"
belgand
+0 -0
In all fairness the child's father was blowing his mother's strap-on so he was more or less correct.
In all fairness the child's father was blowing his mother's strap-on so he was more or less correct.
wolfensti
+0 -0
I will keep using the straight Science , thanks.
I will keep using the straight Science , thanks.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Oh, well, tra laa, tra laa, tra laaaaa .
Oh, well, tra laa, tra laa, tra laaaaa .
drskradley
+0 -0
This is exactly what I was thinking - the clean and prissy look may have been all the rage at some point in the 80's (fitting in well with the rest of the 80's), but Playgirl strikes me as an establishment that is at least 5 years behind the times. Much like Play boy is.
The tighty whiteys seem believable, though.
This is exactly what I was thinking - the clean and prissy look may have been all the rage at some point in the 80's (fitting in well with the rest of the 80's), but Playgirl strikes me as an establishment that is at least 5 years behind the times. Much like Play boy is.
The tighty whiteys seem believable, though.
morypcaina
+0 -0
We can tell that because he doesn't have the moustache or body hair.
We can tell that because he doesn't have the moustache or body hair.
rawk5tar
+6 -1
Ten Things To Do. FINALLY a magazine that tackles the the REAL problems of life.
Ten Things To Do. FINALLY a magazine that tackles the the REAL problems of life.
prettyrad
+0 -0
I heard there were 25 Things To Do in Cosmo; now that's value for money.
I heard there were 25 Things To Do in Cosmo; now that's value for money.
stereo
+4 -0
Yeah, but 15 of them are Having Regrets Cause You Didn't Buy Playgirl.
Yeah, but 15 of them are Having Regrets Cause You Didn't Buy Playgirl.
mehighlow
+0 -0
This gem hidden in the ashes of RB's past is the reason we get to see his expression on the "5" icon.
Thus, a 5.
This gem hidden in the ashes of RB's past is the reason we get to see his expression on the "5" icon.
Thus, a 5.
gormster
+0 -0
I think this is the reason for his expression on the "1" icon.
I think this is the reason for his expression on the "1" icon.
battlebotscott
+3 -0
I guess playgirl was a more basic magazine in the 80's. One that could tell you "Ten Things To Do," which obviously just covers a wider variety of things that possibly have nothing to do with sex. Possibly.
I guess playgirl was a more basic magazine in the 80's. One that could tell you "Ten Things To Do," which obviously just covers a wider variety of things that possibly have nothing to do with sex. Possibly.
chloraloner
+1 -0
Now THEM'S circumstances.
Now THEM'S circumstances.
mnemonic
+2 -0
Which one of you 17 other bastards didn't rate this a 5?
Which one of you 17 other bastards didn't rate this a 5?
utv
+5 -0
Wasn't there a smaller, nephewier character in Achewood at some point?
Wasn't there a smaller, nephewier character in Achewood at some point?
gormster
+1 -0
He's dead, fool.
He's dead, fool.
daidai
+5 -0
Todd?
Todd?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Chucklebot?
Chucklebot?
belgand
+0 -0
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Aaron_Haynes, deovalente, thing)
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Aaron_Haynes, deovalente, thing)
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Little Nephew has the internet.
Little Nephew has the internet.
spinynorman
+0 -0
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, chivalress, skjames, morbo)
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, chivalress, skjames, morbo)
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Ah, but he knows where to find you now...
Ah, but he knows where to find you now...
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Good old Six Flags tradition started in 1968. Now it's your turn to pass it down one of these days; go back there and scare the shit out of some wide-eyed kids you find horsing around in the Photo Booth.
Good old Six Flags tradition started in 1968. Now it's your turn to pass it down one of these days; go back there and scare the shit out of some wide-eyed kids you find horsing around in the Photo Booth.
gormster
+1 -0
I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRITISH
I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRITISH
rowboat
+0 -0
He is a Texan - the least British thing on Earth.
He is a Texan - the least British thing on Earth.
sje46
+0 -0
Do Brits eat bagels?
Do Brits eat bagels?
smallblackdog
+1 -0
Only if they mistake them for something better.
Only if they mistake them for something better.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Only if they have butter and prawns on them.
Only if they have butter and prawns on them.
telescreen
+0 -0
We've all been there gormster. But we've got to eliminate avatar-iconoracism. We've got to.
We've all been there gormster. But we've got to eliminate avatar-iconoracism. We've got to.
gormster
+0 -0
I kind of figured he wasn't necessarily British, but I just didn't think there would be a lot of fans of Mr. Fry in America. His humour is just very British. If not the UK, then at least a Commonwealth realm, somewhere with the air of Britain still about it.
I kind of figured he wasn't necessarily British, but I just didn't think there would be a lot of fans of Mr. Fry in America. His humour is just very British. If not the UK, then at least a Commonwealth realm, somewhere with the air of Britain still about it.
telescreen
+0 -0
I totally agree and have nothing else funny to contribute to this discussion because I am drinking and that is the way it shall be.
I totally agree and have nothing else funny to contribute to this discussion because I am drinking and that is the way it shall be.
gazdatronik
+0 -0
Not prawns! LOX!
Not prawns! LOX!
atticusonline
+1 -0
The least British thing on earth is Kevin Costner.
The least British thing on earth is Kevin Costner.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I don't know, his accent in robin hood was pretty much immaculate
Also Christian slater, he brought it too
I don't know, his accent in robin hood was pretty much immaculate
Also Christian slater, he brought it too
biff
+0 -0
By immaculate, do you mean "not British even a teeny tiny bit, and instead indistinguishable from Standard American Dialect"?
By immaculate, do you mean "not British even a teeny tiny bit, and instead indistinguishable from Standard American Dialect"?
atticusonline
+0 -0
Was Kevin Costner in Dragonheart? Now THAT was some good voice acting...
No it wasn't.
Was Kevin Costner in Dragonheart? Now THAT was some good voice acting...
No it wasn't.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yep.
Yep.
rumblefish
+0 -0
An anecdote from spinynorman is what achewood has been missing recently.
An anecdote from spinynorman is what achewood has been missing recently.
sje46
+0 -0
It has also been missing a dearth of sje46 posts.
It has also been missing a dearth of sje46 posts.
rowboat
+0 -0
"missing a dearth..." I'm having some trouble wrapping my mind around that one. Are you sure that's what you mean, buddy?
"missing a dearth..." I'm having some trouble wrapping my mind around that one. Are you sure that's what you mean, buddy?
sje46
+0 -0
Dearth=paucity. No? Is assetbar not lacking a lacking of sje46 posts?
Dearth=paucity. No? Is assetbar not lacking a lacking of sje46 posts?
rowboat
+0 -0
I've actually noticed that there've been a lot fewer, lately. I guess that was my confusion.
I've actually noticed that there've been a lot fewer, lately. I guess that was my confusion.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah, that is true. I believe I have the most amount of posts on assetbar, followed closely by our good friend Elbox.
But I understood what I was saying, even thouh it makes a lot less sense than it would've a week ago.
Yeah, that is true. I believe I have the most amount of posts on assetbar, followed closely by our good friend Elbox.
But I understood what I was saying, even thouh it makes a lot less sense than it would've a week ago.
pogo
+0 -0
Double negative, lad. If you're missing a dearth, then you've got a plethora.
Double negative, lad. If you're missing a dearth, then you've got a plethora.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes. This is basically the point.
Yes. This is basically the point.
utv
+0 -0
That was perhaps the most roundabout way you could have said you can't stop talking. Which is perhaps fitting.
That was perhaps the most roundabout way you could have said you can't stop talking. Which is perhaps fitting.
johnnyrocker
+1 -0
Every time I see a spinynorman post, it is really long, and has a bunch of chubbies. And every time, I think "There's no way it can be that great. In fact, it's probably stupid."
Then I read the post, and EVERY TIME, I go "daaaaaaamn."
Every time I see a spinynorman post, it is really long, and has a bunch of chubbies. And every time, I think "There's no way it can be that great. In fact, it's probably stupid."
Then I read the post, and EVERY TIME, I go "daaaaaaamn."
spinynorman
+2 -0
every single time I post one and see it was really long I feel pretty guilty about it
every single time I post one and see it was really long I feel pretty guilty about it
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
And so you should. Tortured even. Saul Bellow, pfft. What's he done lately besides die?
And so you should. Tortured even. Saul Bellow, pfft. What's he done lately besides die?
saulbellow
+5 -0
this
this
achilleselbow
+3 -0
I like to imagine that you are kicking him in the nuts right as you say that.
I like to imagine that you are kicking him in the nuts right as you say that.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's why he got a Nobel prize in Economics. One word, all that imagery.
That's why he got a Nobel prize in Economics. One word, all that imagery.
invidious
+0 -0
How could you be so arrogant ?
Seriously, though, don't feel guilty. Anytime I view a new comic and it already has, like, 500 comments, I just start CTRL-F'ing the page.
Hm. I think I might have just inadvertently created the rudest phrase since "Belgium."
How could you be so arrogant ?
Seriously, though, don't feel guilty. Anytime I view a new comic and it already has, like, 500 comments, I just start CTRL-F'ing the page.
Hm. I think I might have just inadvertently created the rudest phrase since "Belgium."
invidious
+0 -0
Oh! What I meant was that I CTRL-F the page for you, and a few others, and...
...you know what? This isn't sounding any better. I'll stop now.
Oh! What I meant was that I CTRL-F the page for you, and a few others, and...
...you know what? This isn't sounding any better. I'll stop now.
pogo
+1 -0
You can CTRL-F me anytime, sailor.
You can CTRL-F me anytime, sailor.
stereo
+1 -0
baryonyx can't CTRL F himself anymore.
baryonyx can't CTRL F himself anymore.
zapatos
+0 -0
Onyxly, he would have a bary hard time with it.
Onyxly, he would have a bary hard time with it.
biff
+0 -0
You do it gratuitously enough, you win a Rory.
You do it gratuitously enough, you win a Rory.
wilto
+0 -0
Whenever you get a chance you
just put your foot in it don't you
Whenever you get a chance you
just put your foot in it don't you
nickrnot
+0 -0
Basically, this exact same situation happened to me.
In my case, the parents did not show any intention of alerting authorities, but rather lectured me on how I had simultaneously destroyed both the wholesome day they were having, the innocence in their children's minds, and the photo they were intending to purchase with one joking lewd pose.
I am fairly certain it was nothing the kids would've interpreted as out of the ordinary, as they were young as hell and kids don't guess things can be charades of sex acts. However, because the parents were so levelheaded yet so adamant about how awful we were, I momentarily could not see how ridiculous they were acting: the only response I could manage was a look of confused guilt and a mumbled "sorry" followed by running the hell away.
Basically, this exact same situation happened to me.
In my case, the parents did not show any intention of alerting authorities, but rather lectured me on how I had simultaneously destroyed both the wholesome day they were having, the innocence in their children's minds, and the photo they were intending to purchase with one joking lewd pose.
I am fairly certain it was nothing the kids would've interpreted as out of the ordinary, as they were young as hell and kids don't guess things can be charades of sex acts. However, because the parents were so levelheaded yet so adamant about how awful we were, I momentarily could not see how ridiculous they were acting: the only response I could manage was a look of confused guilt and a mumbled "sorry" followed by running the hell away.
wingspan
+6 -0
spinynorman, if merely pulling up your shirt was enough to expose some buttcrack, then I have no idea how to even begin to describe what your pant/underwear situation must have been.
spinynorman, if merely pulling up your shirt was enough to expose some buttcrack, then I have no idea how to even begin to describe what your pant/underwear situation must have been.
lazurust
+13 -0
My dad had a big stash of porn, but had kept it hidden from my sister and I for awhile, but I managed to find it when I was around 12. magazine and vhs. Stuff from the seventies up to early nineties. I was meticulous at first in how I'd leave the magazines EXACTLY how I found them, the vhs's rewound to the exact second... One day though, after I came home from school and took my fill of a Swank, I guess I thought I'd have free reign of the house for awhile and left the magazine out on the den couch, and I guess I must have left the house for soccer practice or to hang out with a friend or something, because I remember coming back to hearing my sister crying. I crept to the den and peered in and my Dad was awkwardly explaining to my sobbing sister who had found the magazine why he had porn. I actually heard her say "Why would you have that? The women doing things like that?" SWank was a really dirty, explicit, hardcore moneyshot magazine in a world of tamer Playboys and Penthouses.
He must have thought he had left it out, because he never mentioned it to me, or maybe he didn't think it necessary to have two terrible conversations. My sister never mentioned it to me.
Worst part: later on that week, my mom sat me down and explained that in case I didn't know, Dad had a porn "problem" and that he was "going to see someone about it."
I wanted to vomit from shame.
My dad had a big stash of porn, but had kept it hidden from my sister and I for awhile, but I managed to find it when I was around 12. magazine and vhs. Stuff from the seventies up to early nineties. I was meticulous at first in how I'd leave the magazines EXACTLY how I found them, the vhs's rewound to the exact second... One day though, after I came home from school and took my fill of a Swank, I guess I thought I'd have free reign of the house for awhile and left the magazine out on the den couch, and I guess I must have left the house for soccer practice or to hang out with a friend or something, because I remember coming back to hearing my sister crying. I crept to the den and peered in and my Dad was awkwardly explaining to my sobbing sister who had found the magazine why he had porn. I actually heard her say "Why would you have that? The women doing things like that?" SWank was a really dirty, explicit, hardcore moneyshot magazine in a world of tamer Playboys and Penthouses.
He must have thought he had left it out, because he never mentioned it to me, or maybe he didn't think it necessary to have two terrible conversations. My sister never mentioned it to me.
Worst part: later on that week, my mom sat me down and explained that in case I didn't know, Dad had a porn "problem" and that he was "going to see someone about it."
I wanted to vomit from shame.
spinynorman
+0 -0
That blows.
That blows.
tekende
+1 -0
Holy shit, now them's circumstances.
Holy shit, now them's circumstances.
belgand
+0 -0
Your father, was his name, by any chance, Armand?
Swank is truly great. Not the magazine itself, never bothered with it much, but the title is wonderful and perfectly applied to a hardcore porno magazine. I try to refer to far more things as "swank" in my daily life as a small reference to it.
Also Club is a pretty good name, but it goes for a slightly different market IIRC.
Now that I think about it, was Swank really that much harder than, say, Hustler ? Or was Hustler just the hard 'R' between the PG-13 Playboy and the depths of true filth?
Your father, was his name, by any chance, Armand?
Swank is truly great. Not the magazine itself, never bothered with it much, but the title is wonderful and perfectly applied to a hardcore porno magazine. I try to refer to far more things as "swank" in my daily life as a small reference to it.
Also Club is a pretty good name, but it goes for a slightly different market IIRC.
Now that I think about it, was Swank really that much harder than, say, Hustler ? Or was Hustler just the hard 'R' between the PG-13 Playboy and the depths of true filth?
mrpotatohead
+0 -0
Swank was about the same level of filth as Hustler , but it was all sex as opposed to Larry Flynt's rants about hypocrisy, politics, religion, etc. Real anti-boner stuff. Oui , Genesis , Cherry , Club and it's sister mag Club International ... those were the days.
Swank was about the same level of filth as Hustler , but it was all sex as opposed to Larry Flynt's rants about hypocrisy, politics, religion, etc. Real anti-boner stuff. Oui , Genesis , Cherry , Club and it's sister mag Club International ... those were the days.
belgand
+0 -0
Oui though was just a Playboy spin-off. I never thought it was really able to compete properly. At the same time the 70s had some very cute girls. Not exclusively, but it seems like there was much more of a call for cute, girl-next-door types than the modern implanted and tarted up silicone skanks. I would cast Seka into the latter category unfortunately.
Isn't Swank still being published though? I mean, I know Club is. Or, at least, it was a few years ago when I last saw a copy.
Oui though was just a Playboy spin-off. I never thought it was really able to compete properly. At the same time the 70s had some very cute girls. Not exclusively, but it seems like there was much more of a call for cute, girl-next-door types than the modern implanted and tarted up silicone skanks. I would cast Seka into the latter category unfortunately.
Isn't Swank still being published though? I mean, I know Club is. Or, at least, it was a few years ago when I last saw a copy.
reverendtmac
+0 -0
Swank's still out there; saw this month's tucked between Perfect 10 and Barely Legal. Not sure Club is anymore, though - haven't seen that in years.
Swank's still out there; saw this month's tucked between Perfect 10 and Barely Legal. Not sure Club is anymore, though - haven't seen that in years.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I saw one a couple of years ago. My friend's girlfriend had just broken up with him and he was home at his parents' place for a couple of days. We were coming back from the city at 5 in the morning and before he dropped me off, he insisted on driving around looking for a 7-11 where he could purchase something to get him through the weekend. Apparently it was the best thing they had, and it was still hella terrible.
I saw one a couple of years ago. My friend's girlfriend had just broken up with him and he was home at his parents' place for a couple of days. We were coming back from the city at 5 in the morning and before he dropped me off, he insisted on driving around looking for a 7-11 where he could purchase something to get him through the weekend. Apparently it was the best thing they had, and it was still hella terrible.
lazurus_t
+0 -0
Oh man, yeah, club international. Every now and then, they'd have really nicely drawn pin-ups that were hard-core, or sometimes demonic or aliens. That was pretty cool.
Oh man, yeah, club international. Every now and then, they'd have really nicely drawn pin-ups that were hard-core, or sometimes demonic or aliens. That was pretty cool.
pogo
+0 -0
Mind if I start calling you "Hairline Asscrack"?
Mind if I start calling you "Hairline Asscrack"?
lateadopter
+0 -0
Is that a shark holding a flag in the first panel?
Is that a shark holding a flag in the first panel?
baryonyx
+7 -0
It is quite absolutely a Street Shark.
[IMGS OFF]
It is quite absolutely a Street Shark.
[IMGS OFF]
battlebotscott
+0 -0
It might not be. Although I too immediately thought of street sharks upon first site I can't help but mention that street sharks started a full decade after when this strip was set. My credentials: collecting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle "action figures" by the barrel as a child and a basic knowledge of wikipedia.
It might not be. Although I too immediately thought of street sharks upon first site I can't help but mention that street sharks started a full decade after when this strip was set. My credentials: collecting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle "action figures" by the barrel as a child and a basic knowledge of wikipedia.
baryonyx
+4 -0
SILENCE
STREET SHARK
SILENCE
STREET SHARK
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I LOVE STREET SHARK OMG SO MUCH BETTER THAN TMNT
I LOVE STREET SHARK OMG SO MUCH BETTER THAN TMNT
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i had a sticker magazine about Street Sharks. i also think i had a gumball-holder-style-thing for them.
...i don't ever remember watching the show, though.
hm.
whale sharks are rad, though.
i had a sticker magazine about Street Sharks. i also think i had a gumball-holder-style-thing for them.
...i don't ever remember watching the show, though.
hm.
whale sharks are rad, though.
achilleselbow
+7 -0
JAWSOME!!!
JAWSOME!!!
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
aw man achilleselbow you beat me to it.
aw man achilleselbow you beat me to it.
d3athcann0n
+0 -0
I used to love the Street Sharks.
I had a roller skating action figure of one of them.
I used to love the Street Sharks.
I had a roller skating action figure of one of them.
tekende
+0 -0
I never watched the show, but damn if those weren't some awesome action figures.
I never watched the show, but damn if those weren't some awesome action figures.
rowboat
+0 -0
I somehow managed to completely miss this show. Really, though - how could any self-respecting TMNT fan be OK with this? Shit's blatant.
I somehow managed to completely miss this show. Really, though - how could any self-respecting TMNT fan be OK with this? Shit's blatant.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Actually the Street Sharks were actual teenagers who got turned into shark/human hybrids.
No shit.
Actually the Street Sharks were actual teenagers who got turned into shark/human hybrids.
No shit.
rowboat
+0 -0
That doesn't make it alright.
That doesn't make it alright.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the picture shown of them here is them seeing that 'whoa, we're all different n' stuff!'
the picture shown of them here is them seeing that 'whoa, we're all different n' stuff!'
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I LOVED THESE GUYS AND THE TOYS WERE THE BEST THINGS EVER
[IMGS OFF]
This is the best I could find. Imagine the coolness.
I LOVED THESE GUYS AND THE TOYS WERE THE BEST THINGS EVER
[IMGS OFF]
This is the best I could find. Imagine the coolness.
baryonyx
+0 -0
One of the things where you see that its jaw opens and closes and you need it.
One of the things where you see that its jaw opens and closes and you need it.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Dude! I had one of these ! I am still so pissed at myself for ever taking out of the box. I got it for Christmas. It worked for about 3 days, started breaking down and within a week was pretty much useless. I kept it for a few years and finally tossed it.
Dude! I had one of these ! I am still so pissed at myself for ever taking out of the box. I got it for Christmas. It worked for about 3 days, started breaking down and within a week was pretty much useless. I kept it for a few years and finally tossed it.
tekende
+0 -0
It chews guns into scrap, people!
Seriously those things were so great but I was never able to afford one since I was a child and had no way of making any money, ever
It chews guns into scrap, people!
Seriously those things were so great but I was never able to afford one since I was a child and had no way of making any money, ever
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Me too, but I had a shit ton of Power Ranger action figures and also these little Fischer Price pirate/medieval figures and playsets that were actually really badass. If they still made them I'd probably still buy them.
Me too, but I had a shit ton of Power Ranger action figures and also these little Fischer Price pirate/medieval figures and playsets that were actually really badass. If they still made them I'd probably still buy them.
zhankfor
+0 -0
I seem to remember that the actually jaw-closing action required a great deal more force than my undeveloped thumbs could muster. I had to use my entire hand to activate the mechanism, which meant that having my action figure chew guns into scrap metal was awkward and fumbling, to say the least.
I seem to remember that the actually jaw-closing action required a great deal more force than my undeveloped thumbs could muster. I had to use my entire hand to activate the mechanism, which meant that having my action figure chew guns into scrap metal was awkward and fumbling, to say the least.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
It's okay, everyone's first time is like that.
It's okay, everyone's first time is like that.
mrwombat
+0 -0
Are you thinking of Playmobil? They're the creepy little figures with the spherical heads, and they are still popular.
Are you thinking of Playmobil? They're the creepy little figures with the spherical heads, and they are still popular.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No, it was Fisher Price.
No, it was Fisher Price.
mattylite
+0 -0
Oh man I fucking loved playmobil. I dreamt of that pirate ship, but made do with the castle and the glow in the dark ghost.
Oh man I fucking loved playmobil. I dreamt of that pirate ship, but made do with the castle and the glow in the dark ghost.
belgand
+0 -0
Man, what happened to Lego though? Everything it seems is licensed now and there isn't nearly as much possibility for variety as there used to be what with all the custom pieces and all. I mean, yeah, it was going that way when I was still young, but it seems a lot worse now. Oh and some of the Star Wars sets are cool, but the good ones are usually like $100 or so.
The Fisher Price Imaginext Dragon looks pretty sweet though. I saw one of those the other day at the store and my girlfriend was clearly enamored with it.
Oh and that dinosaur you can ride on (and what in the fuck is with it not actually walking around? That's totally lame)? That definitely goes in "Toys Belgand Wishes He Had When He Was a Lad but They Weren't Invented Yet".
I am still a bit upset that I never got the Eternia playset, but that thing was wicked pricey. Still, it had a monorail . How could I not desire it?
Best toy ever though? Omagles. I don't think I ever saw these anywhere else, but a relative got them for me one year and it was one of the biggest boxes I ever got and one of the most awesome things ever. Basically large, kid-sized erector set or such where you could build stuff out of these big plastic pipes. Completely boss.
Damn, I need to find a place for my two giant tubs of Legos, my box of Omagles, and my two or so big yellow official cases full of Construx.
I need to shut up now or this will just be me going on about how much more awesome toys were in the 80s before video games completely took over and when you could still just get by with awesome action figures and such. I don't even really know what kids play with any more.
Man, what happened to Lego though? Everything it seems is licensed now and there isn't nearly as much possibility for variety as there used to be what with all the custom pieces and all. I mean, yeah, it was going that way when I was still young, but it seems a lot worse now. Oh and some of the Star Wars sets are cool, but the good ones are usually like $100 or so.
The Fisher Price Imaginext Dragon looks pretty sweet though. I saw one of those the other day at the store and my girlfriend was clearly enamored with it.
Oh and that dinosaur you can ride on (and what in the fuck is with it not actually walking around? That's totally lame)? That definitely goes in "Toys Belgand Wishes He Had When He Was a Lad but They Weren't Invented Yet".
I am still a bit upset that I never got the Eternia playset, but that thing was wicked pricey. Still, it had a monorail . How could I not desire it?
Best toy ever though? Omagles. I don't think I ever saw these anywhere else, but a relative got them for me one year and it was one of the biggest boxes I ever got and one of the most awesome things ever. Basically large, kid-sized erector set or such where you could build stuff out of these big plastic pipes. Completely boss.
Damn, I need to find a place for my two giant tubs of Legos, my box of Omagles, and my two or so big yellow official cases full of Construx.
I need to shut up now or this will just be me going on about how much more awesome toys were in the 80s before video games completely took over and when you could still just get by with awesome action figures and such. I don't even really know what kids play with any more.
mattylite
+0 -0
I have got on this same soapbox before about legos. When I was a lad you'd just have a ton of different ones and make Whatever in the Fuck you Wanted. Now it's all stupid-ass kits to build like Harry Potter or Pokey-Mans or whatever it is. Boo.
I have got on this same soapbox before about legos. When I was a lad you'd just have a ton of different ones and make Whatever in the Fuck you Wanted. Now it's all stupid-ass kits to build like Harry Potter or Pokey-Mans or whatever it is. Boo.
belgand
+1 -0
Well, the Pirate and Castle kits were pretty sweet. I mean, I certainly like having some sort of basic guide rather than just a big box of various generic bits and being told to just work it out yourself.
Having a base to work from prevents the sort of blank page problem that would crop up otherwise. Plus, assuming you have a place to keep it, you can keep working on it until you get something entirely your own. I had a castle that I'd been working on that was so awesome when I moved during my childhood it got placed into a tub more or less intact. As far as I know it is probably still largely intact. One day I will continue my work.
Not to mention that sometimes the somewhat specialized pieces could be put to new use as long as they were architectural in nature and not just something plastered with an image or a big chunk of plastic that doesn't really connect.
I remember when they changed the old pirate cannons from the kind that would shoot out a small black barrel piece to the kind that looked better, but didn't shoot. The former were definitely prized.
Man, looking at some of what came out why did they ever get rid of the Vikings and Ninja themes? Those look like they were awesome, but lasted for very short times.
If you do not like ninja then you are not rad.
Well, the Pirate and Castle kits were pretty sweet. I mean, I certainly like having some sort of basic guide rather than just a big box of various generic bits and being told to just work it out yourself.
Having a base to work from prevents the sort of blank page problem that would crop up otherwise. Plus, assuming you have a place to keep it, you can keep working on it until you get something entirely your own. I had a castle that I'd been working on that was so awesome when I moved during my childhood it got placed into a tub more or less intact. As far as I know it is probably still largely intact. One day I will continue my work.
Not to mention that sometimes the somewhat specialized pieces could be put to new use as long as they were architectural in nature and not just something plastered with an image or a big chunk of plastic that doesn't really connect.
I remember when they changed the old pirate cannons from the kind that would shoot out a small black barrel piece to the kind that looked better, but didn't shoot. The former were definitely prized.
Man, looking at some of what came out why did they ever get rid of the Vikings and Ninja themes? Those look like they were awesome, but lasted for very short times.
If you do not like ninja then you are not rad.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I heard some kid has a website about that.
I heard some kid has a website about that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I never cared for the Samurai/Ninja sets. The buildings themselves were not very exciting, but I used the samurai helmets for pretty good Nazi helmets. I much preferred Wild West, Johnny Thunder and Pirates. Man, I had this OLD set, that was old by my standards, with two what I imagined to be Spanish soldiers with muskets and a tropical fort type deal.
My sets always ALWAYS broke, for one reason or another. But I always built better stuff, like a town that took up half my room's floor. I played with Legos till I was like 14. Actually, I remember, last year some time I broke out a few pieces and went crazy for about 10 minutes, just to get it out. Shit, I want to play with Legos now :(
Nice-on-water: he plays with Legos.
I never cared for the Samurai/Ninja sets. The buildings themselves were not very exciting, but I used the samurai helmets for pretty good Nazi helmets. I much preferred Wild West, Johnny Thunder and Pirates. Man, I had this OLD set, that was old by my standards, with two what I imagined to be Spanish soldiers with muskets and a tropical fort type deal.
My sets always ALWAYS broke, for one reason or another. But I always built better stuff, like a town that took up half my room's floor. I played with Legos till I was like 14. Actually, I remember, last year some time I broke out a few pieces and went crazy for about 10 minutes, just to get it out. Shit, I want to play with Legos now :(
Nice-on-water: he plays with Legos.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was right on the cusp of that transition from sets of airports and pizzerias and the Wild West to Harry Potter sets, MLS sets, NASA sets (which actually were hxc good times) etc. I was a Lego FIEND. I had callouses from ramming my hand into my huge buckets of Legos. I bet I couldn't do that today.
I was right on the cusp of that transition from sets of airports and pizzerias and the Wild West to Harry Potter sets, MLS sets, NASA sets (which actually were hxc good times) etc. I was a Lego FIEND. I had callouses from ramming my hand into my huge buckets of Legos. I bet I couldn't do that today.
rowboat
+0 -0
Perhaps you know Zack. He, too, is a Lego maniac.
Perhaps you know Zack. He, too, is a Lego maniac.
stereo
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
I don't even really know what kids play with any more
I believe this was discussed earlier, they play with themselves looking at all the free porn on the internet (why is it illegal for kids to watch porn anyway? It's not like they don't want to)
belgand
+0 -0
I never understood that either. Maybe we should make soft-core porn legal down to age 12? It is the market that will best be able to appreciate it.
If you're old enough to know that you want porn you're old enough to have porn. I will never understand why people do not get this. This also fits into my previous statement that young girls ought to have access to basic vibrators and some non-threatening dildos maybe.
I never understood that either. Maybe we should make soft-core porn legal down to age 12? It is the market that will best be able to appreciate it.
If you're old enough to know that you want porn you're old enough to have porn. I will never understand why people do not get this. This also fits into my previous statement that young girls ought to have access to basic vibrators and some non-threatening dildos maybe.
falseprophet
+3 -0
Quote:
I'm sorry but I don't want my son to grow up in a world where no one can ever make a woman come.
Quote:
young girls ought to have access to basic vibrators and some non-threatening dildos maybe.
I'm sorry but I don't want my son to grow up in a world where no one can ever make a woman come.
zapatos
+1 -0
too late
too late
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, I 1)fail to see how we could make this worse and b)have no idea how this would possibly lead to women not coming.
Yeah, I 1)fail to see how we could make this worse and b)have no idea how this would possibly lead to women not coming.
tekende
+0 -0
Because girls would get used to coming due to devices specifically designed to make orgasm easy, thus making it much more difficult for a man to make them orgasm.
Because girls would get used to coming due to devices specifically designed to make orgasm easy, thus making it much more difficult for a man to make them orgasm.
belgand
+0 -0
I do not believe that it works quite like that. If a man is having that much trouble I must wonder if his tongue has been cut out. Is most pleasant of tasks? Eh... for some maybe, but not all. But necessary to be causing pleasure of woman and thus ensuring further interest in the making of loves.
Also is not possible young lady can be using device while with horny gentleman friend? Maybe is to be show putting on for him? Perhaps simply enhance of the pleasure for more direct stimulation that she, like many womens, is needing? Or even she is saucy lass and wishes to make hat trick with only one of the sex dudes? Girl who is wanting to explore is main hotness and should be encouraged the most.
Greater problem, I am thinking, is that girls are not knowing that sex is bodacious in the maximum.
I do not believe that it works quite like that. If a man is having that much trouble I must wonder if his tongue has been cut out. Is most pleasant of tasks? Eh... for some maybe, but not all. But necessary to be causing pleasure of woman and thus ensuring further interest in the making of loves.
Also is not possible young lady can be using device while with horny gentleman friend? Maybe is to be show putting on for him? Perhaps simply enhance of the pleasure for more direct stimulation that she, like many womens, is needing? Or even she is saucy lass and wishes to make hat trick with only one of the sex dudes? Girl who is wanting to explore is main hotness and should be encouraged the most.
Greater problem, I am thinking, is that girls are not knowing that sex is bodacious in the maximum.
tekende
+0 -0
Perhaps you are right.
Perhaps you are right.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Did you realize how weird this post came out and decided to give it a Vlad voice to ease the awkwardness? Because I would've done that.
Did you realize how weird this post came out and decided to give it a Vlad voice to ease the awkwardness? Because I would've done that.
tekende
+0 -0
This may be the best point anyone has ever made in all of recorded history.
This may be the best point anyone has ever made in all of recorded history.
somedarkholler
+0 -0
I too had those Fischer Price Pirate/Medieval figures and they were hell of awesome. The castle had like 5 secret doors and a cannon that flipped out of the front.
I too had those Fischer Price Pirate/Medieval figures and they were hell of awesome. The castle had like 5 secret doors and a cannon that flipped out of the front.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I never had one either but my friend brought one in to school one day and we all freaked, then every time I went to his house I would search for it and play with it without asking because he knew that's all I wanted to play with anyway. It was a Thing we had.
I never had one either but my friend brought one in to school one day and we all freaked, then every time I went to his house I would search for it and play with it without asking because he knew that's all I wanted to play with anyway. It was a Thing we had.
mattylite
+4 -0
It's the Gotcha logo. Those clothes were so popular, I remember going to T.J. Max to steal just the stickers that came on the shirts.
It's the Gotcha logo. Those clothes were so popular, I remember going to T.J. Max to steal just the stickers that came on the shirts.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Okay, so it is a shark?
Okay, so it is a shark?
strix22
+0 -0
yup me too, all trying to be nonchalant while stuffing all the tags into my pockets...
yup me too, all trying to be nonchalant while stuffing all the tags into my pockets...
relaxing
+0 -0
Thank you for supplying the correct answer, good sirt.
Thank you for supplying the correct answer, good sirt.
never_die
+1 -0
when you totally know where someone is at, your mouth just disappears
when you totally know where someone is at, your mouth just disappears
saulbellow
+1 -0
be careful, lil' RB ... he's not what he seems
[IMGS OFF]
be careful, lil' RB ... he's not what he seems
[IMGS OFF]
rowboat
+0 -0
I didn't get this until the color of the shirt sank in.
I didn't get this until the color of the shirt sank in.
mjnevin
+0 -0
I actually like this cause Beef gets away in the end. Not without the usual mental scarring, but he didn't go to kid jail.
I actually like this cause Beef gets away in the end. Not without the usual mental scarring, but he didn't go to kid jail.
mattylite
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+0 -0
The thing holding the flag looked like the silhouette of a boss from Rockman X when I first glanced at it.
The thing holding the flag looked like the silhouette of a boss from Rockman X when I first glanced at it.
sje46
+0 -0
I was actually reminded of the logo for The Stand, fo rsome reason. It is not, though.
I was actually reminded of the logo for The Stand, fo rsome reason. It is not, though.
zapatos
+0 -0
I am reminded of murlocs from warcraft III.
I am reminded of murlocs from warcraft III.
maximus
+1 -0
beware the savage jaw
beware the savage jaw
salvar
+0 -0
You beat me to it.
You beat me to it.
rowboat
+6 -0
The cat got saved from legal action by being confused for a young homosexual.
The cat got saved from legal action by being confused for a young homosexual.
gormster
+2 -1
oh my god can we please stop doing that
oh my god can we please stop doing that
biff
+0 -0
What, the meta-level analysis?
Like the cat this, and the talking cat that, and the cat walking on its hind legs the other crap?
Is that what you are talking about?
If so, I heartily concur. That stopped being funny...um....
Wait. It was never funny.
What, the meta-level analysis?
Like the cat this, and the talking cat that, and the cat walking on its hind legs the other crap?
Is that what you are talking about?
If so, I heartily concur. That stopped being funny...um....
Wait. It was never funny.
rowboat
+2 -0
I been posting for about a year and a half.
I've made over 2,300 comments.
This is my first such post.
Leave me alone.
I been posting for about a year and a half.
I've made over 2,300 comments.
This is my first such post.
Leave me alone.
biff
+0 -0
Okey dokey
Okey dokey
rowboat
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
biff
+0 -0
*bows apologetically*
*offers rowboat a cookie*
*bows apologetically*
*offers rowboat a cookie*
telescreen
+0 -0
I chubbied it out of spite. Spite towards whom, I do not know.
I chubbied it out of spite. Spite towards whom, I do not know.
expellens
+0 -0
Spite towards the internet .
Spite towards the internet .
zapatos
+0 -0
Fuck You the internet !
Fuck You the internet !
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
The cat is taking umbrage at a direct slam of a first-time observation. ex facto.
The cat is taking umbrage at a direct slam of a first-time observation. ex facto.
atticusonline
+0 -0
I got your back, rowboat.
I got your back, rowboat.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's just an imitation of the way that a lot of the old alt texts were written, but he hasn't done it in a few years, so we should probably stop.
That's just an imitation of the way that a lot of the old alt texts were written, but he hasn't done it in a few years, so we should probably stop.
falseprophet
+6 -0
The penis wearing glasses is trying to keep the comments on an internet message board fresh.
The penis wearing glasses is trying to keep the comments on an internet message board fresh.
tekende
+0 -0
I dunno, I like it. As long as it's not overdone like some jokes *cough*the bary thing*cough*
I dunno, I like it. As long as it's not overdone like some jokes *cough*the bary thing*cough*
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh come on we BARYLY say it anymore!
oh fuck what is wrong with me?
Oh come on we BARYLY say it anymore!
oh fuck what is wrong with me?
sje46
+0 -0
I think you have a probarylm.
I think you have a probarylm.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
theguitarhero, sje46 (and zapatos): you may cease and desist the "bary thing." I appreciate your assistance in my original plan to lightly annoy baryonyx. The mission has run it's course, affective immediately.
That is all.
theguitarhero, sje46 (and zapatos): you may cease and desist the "bary thing." I appreciate your assistance in my original plan to lightly annoy baryonyx. The mission has run it's course, affective immediately.
That is all.
rowboat
+0 -0
YOU did this!
YOU did this!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
LIE BOT!
I'd go hang out with the dudes tonight and moon the desert in a pick up, but all my dudes are out of town or catering to the damage a burst water heater and electrical fire can cause to a home.
Plus, no desert nearby.
LIE BOT!
I'd go hang out with the dudes tonight and moon the desert in a pick up, but all my dudes are out of town or catering to the damage a burst water heater and electrical fire can cause to a home.
Plus, no desert nearby.
mattylite
+1 -0
ROBOT ASS!!!!!!!!!
[IMGS OFF]
ROBOT ASS!!!!!!!!!
[IMGS OFF]
sje46
+0 -0
I will only do "the bary thing" when someone mentions it, and only then. I will not start it up out of the blue. Compromise?
I will only do "the bary thing" when someone mentions it, and only then. I will not start it up out of the blue. Compromise?
rowboat
+0 -0
We demand reparations.
We demand reparations.
belgand
+0 -0
Let's not go too far though. We don't want to create a Treaty of Versailles situation here.
Let's not go too far though. We don't want to create a Treaty of Versailles situation here.
rowboat
+0 -0
Why not? It worked fine the first time.
Why not? It worked fine the first time.
belgand
+0 -0
If we go that way we'll have an even more powerful and terrifying meme crop up within about twenty comics and there will be little to nothing we can do to stop it. The ravages of that meme will live on forever.
If we go that way we'll have an even more powerful and terrifying meme crop up within about twenty comics and there will be little to nothing we can do to stop it. The ravages of that meme will live on forever.
biff
+0 -0
If you consider the Treaty of Versailles to have "worked," I am going to need your definition of "worked."
If you consider the Treaty of Versailles to have "worked," I am going to need your definition of "worked."
rowboat
+0 -0
They had ample seating and the refreshments were top-notch.
They had ample seating and the refreshments were top-notch.
belgand
+0 -0
Ah, but that was the Paris Peace Conference, not the treaty itself.
Ah, but that was the Paris Peace Conference, not the treaty itself.
rowboat
+0 -0
*slaps forehead*
*slaps forehead*
biff
+0 -0
OK, I am down with that.
OK, I am down with that.
sje46
+0 -0
More like Treaty of Barysailles .
More like Treaty of Barysailles .
zapatos
+0 -0
Man you really fineoakstructure'd this time!
Man you really fineoakstructure'd this time!
westsider8
+14 -1
The real shame of it all is that the Internet has stolen from pubescent boys the passage to manhood that was finding ways to sneak peeks at pornography. With porn practically falling out of your computer monitor onto your keyboard with even a slightly suggestive word in your search terms, the hunt is truly over. RIP surreptitious glances in the back of B Dalton. RIP locating dad's porn stash in the attic. RIP the joy of finding that foreign dude who ran the newsstand by the train station and didn't care if you bought a Playboy or not, as long as you didn't crumple the pages of the ones left in the rack.
The real shame of it all is that the Internet has stolen from pubescent boys the passage to manhood that was finding ways to sneak peeks at pornography. With porn practically falling out of your computer monitor onto your keyboard with even a slightly suggestive word in your search terms, the hunt is truly over. RIP surreptitious glances in the back of B Dalton. RIP locating dad's porn stash in the attic. RIP the joy of finding that foreign dude who ran the newsstand by the train station and didn't care if you bought a Playboy or not, as long as you didn't crumple the pages of the ones left in the rack.
mattylite
+1 -0
Totally, man. Almost everyone I know my age or older has some story about a stash of porn they found in a bramble or a ditch or somewhere. Porn used to be like a precious physical commodity, even if it was crinkled and had suspect stains and pages that were stuck together. You'd just like tear those ones out. Or you'd have a friend whose dad had tons of playboys, and you'd steal one, and then you'd be afraid to even go over there in case he noticed that empty spot between May and July 1978. Or there'd be a kid who would always have pornos and sell them. He'd probably be in a trench coat.
Totally, man. Almost everyone I know my age or older has some story about a stash of porn they found in a bramble or a ditch or somewhere. Porn used to be like a precious physical commodity, even if it was crinkled and had suspect stains and pages that were stuck together. You'd just like tear those ones out. Or you'd have a friend whose dad had tons of playboys, and you'd steal one, and then you'd be afraid to even go over there in case he noticed that empty spot between May and July 1978. Or there'd be a kid who would always have pornos and sell them. He'd probably be in a trench coat.
daedala_x
+14 -0
dude, stealing a playboy requires mega cajones. plus you aint got no place to store that when you're still sleeping on the same mattress as your mom. what you do is you wait until the magazine owner is out, sneak into his room, burn into your memory the exact order and corner to edge arrangement of each zine to the next. you read that shit furiously, ears perked, heart racing, flipping pages and absorbing pictures and words like a fiend running some timed task in a video game, sand all streaming out your timer, boss all lurking around the corner waiting to pound the shit out of you. then you meticulously arrange it back to look exactly like how you found it, all before the dude comes home.
that and watching skinemax and real sex with the back button set to cartoon network. kids just don't know the meaning of hard earned porn anymore.
dude, stealing a playboy requires mega cajones. plus you aint got no place to store that when you're still sleeping on the same mattress as your mom. what you do is you wait until the magazine owner is out, sneak into his room, burn into your memory the exact order and corner to edge arrangement of each zine to the next. you read that shit furiously, ears perked, heart racing, flipping pages and absorbing pictures and words like a fiend running some timed task in a video game, sand all streaming out your timer, boss all lurking around the corner waiting to pound the shit out of you. then you meticulously arrange it back to look exactly like how you found it, all before the dude comes home.
that and watching skinemax and real sex with the back button set to cartoon network. kids just don't know the meaning of hard earned porn anymore.
sje46
+0 -0
You know some kids have family computers, and can only look at porn when their family is asleep, sometimes on the couch.
You know some kids have family computers, and can only look at porn when their family is asleep, sometimes on the couch.
mattylite
+4 -0
Or if your folks only had basic cable, turning it to the channel that would be skinemax and being careful to only masturbate seriously when those blobs on the screen looked believably like they might be naked body parts if unscrambled...
Or if your folks only had basic cable, turning it to the channel that would be skinemax and being careful to only masturbate seriously when those blobs on the screen looked believably like they might be naked body parts if unscrambled...
gormster
+0 -0
Yeah digital threw that one out the window.
Yeah digital threw that one out the window.
gormster
+0 -0
Yeah digital threw that one out the window.
Yeah digital threw that one out the window.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It seriously threw it out the window.
It seriously threw it out the window.
ntopp
+0 -0
V-chubbed.
V-chubbed.
zapatos
+0 -0
Defenestrated and such.
Defenestrated and such.
belgand
+0 -0
I have often wondered: did some fathers or uncles perhaps intentionally buy Playboy just to leave it out in a place where it would be found and taken? A way to pass this on to the next generation as they too had come into it at the same age?
I have often wondered: did some fathers or uncles perhaps intentionally buy Playboy just to leave it out in a place where it would be found and taken? A way to pass this on to the next generation as they too had come into it at the same age?
daidai
+1 -0
I...maybe in a way he suspects it? Maybe he knew all along?
No...is he really that much of my dogg?
PSSSSH
ZZZZZZZZZZ...
I...maybe in a way he suspects it? Maybe he knew all along?
No...is he really that much of my dogg?
PSSSSH
ZZZZZZZZZZ...
powderfinger
+0 -0
because of this post i've decided if i ever have a son i'm going to cancel my internet and just buy a ton of skin mags to hide on the top shelf of my closet (the same place my step father hid his)
because of this post i've decided if i ever have a son i'm going to cancel my internet and just buy a ton of skin mags to hide on the top shelf of my closet (the same place my step father hid his)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
And his father before him!
And his father before him!
belgand
+0 -0
His father's father, however, merely had a small collection of erotic etchings and a few French postcards.
I think the crucial factor is how you convey to the child that it's OK for them to use them. That they don't have to be paranoid about being found out. The subtle wink that is part of the whole enterprise.
His father's father, however, merely had a small collection of erotic etchings and a few French postcards.
I think the crucial factor is how you convey to the child that it's OK for them to use them. That they don't have to be paranoid about being found out. The subtle wink that is part of the whole enterprise.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
;-) go ahead jonny.
;-) go ahead jonny.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well, no. That would take the whole thrill out of it. There has to be some element of danger and shame and fear of being found out. Otherwise your kids might grow up to be those people that prattle on about how sex is a perfectly natural and fun thing to do and it's totally cool to be a sex worker.
Well, no. That would take the whole thrill out of it. There has to be some element of danger and shame and fear of being found out. Otherwise your kids might grow up to be those people that prattle on about how sex is a perfectly natural and fun thing to do and it's totally cool to be a sex worker.
belgand
+0 -0
But those people are great. When they're not being creepy middle-aged ladies about it.
Taking the element of danger and shame and fear out of it is entirely the point. Accede to my sex-positive hippie parenting dammit!
Ideally the cool uncle or older brother is the best person to provide this sort of thing. An older figure, but without the extra parental baggage.
But those people are great. When they're not being creepy middle-aged ladies about it.
Taking the element of danger and shame and fear out of it is entirely the point. Accede to my sex-positive hippie parenting dammit!
Ideally the cool uncle or older brother is the best person to provide this sort of thing. An older figure, but without the extra parental baggage.
telescreen
+0 -0
As long as people don't thrust talk of sex on everything, sex positivism would probably fix a lot of things about our society. Enjoying the shame and the danger associated with sexuality when one has to be surreptitious about it creates Issues.
As long as people don't thrust talk of sex on everything, sex positivism would probably fix a lot of things about our society. Enjoying the shame and the danger associated with sexuality when one has to be surreptitious about it creates Issues.
belgand
+0 -0
It can create bad issues or sexy issues. The problem is the bad issues. Those create terrible sex and people crying a lot in the future.
It can create bad issues or sexy issues. The problem is the bad issues. Those create terrible sex and people crying a lot in the future.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I generally consider people without issues to be bland and uninteresting, but that is obviously a result of my own issues.
I generally consider people without issues to be bland and uninteresting, but that is obviously a result of my own issues.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I agree with all of this except the part about sleeping with your mother.
Also, construction sites always a source for the mega-nastiest porn going in those days. We're talking the kind of stuff even the internet has been able to make popular. We're talking Totally Ruined Junk .
I agree with all of this except the part about sleeping with your mother.
Also, construction sites always a source for the mega-nastiest porn going in those days. We're talking the kind of stuff even the internet has been able to make popular. We're talking Totally Ruined Junk .
zapatos
+0 -0
Dae has experience.
Dae has experience.
belgand
+2 -1
It persisted on to my generation as well.
At one point I had a stash of like, two Playboys and a Penthouse that I got from a friend who, I believe, got them from his father's stash. They were buried in a Ziploc bag inside of a plastic bag under a rock in a vacant lot near our houses where we had constructed a fort and spent much of our time. Eventually I presume I forgot about it.
A few years ago I was home over break or such and I went back to my old neighborhood to see how things had changed since I was a child. My friend there had moved back in high school and I had moved a bit earlier and it was definitely not the same place. You used to be able to see the rock wall that we spent most of an autumn constructing from the highway, but I don't think I could find any trace of it anymore only the barest outlines of the rocks, tires, and maybe a few bits of the scrap wood that had made up our sanctuary that we used to know so well. I think the old table that had once been there was missing. I remembered roughly where I had hidden the old magazines and, despite knowing that over a decade or so in a place with snow and rain would have decimated them, but at least I would find their remains and have that small connection to the past, but they were gone with no trace to show that they had ever been there. I don't know what happened to them, but I hope that another child found them not long after me and they were passed on.
A few years ago I was out in the back alleys of the college town where I was living over the last weekend in May trying to hunt down a new couch from the vast array that were left as students left town at the end of the semester. While doing so (and finding a great reclining couch as well) I stumbled across a treasure trove of maybe two solid years of Playboy including the 50th Anniversary issue that had been left out for the trash. I immediately loaded them up in the car and brought them home. When I moved a few years later it was with a certain degree of regret that I too threw almost all of them away with only a few brought along because of interesting articles or such (Chuck Palahnick's Guts , some of Hunter S. Thompson's last published work, the aforementioned anniversary issue). Reading them with my girlfriend on the lengthy car trip across the country I was again reminded of that childhood stash and lamented that much as I had been filled with the same feeling when I found this recent trove I was unable to find someone to pass it on to. Even worse I doubt that the modest collection of the softest of soft-core would have held any real appeal.
You also forget staying up late into the morning in order to watch a movie showing on Cinemax because it has a provocative-sounding title and perhaps the tell-tale listings of Nudity and Strong Sexual Content. Maybe it is starring Shannon Tweed in some capacity (sexy sex therapist perhaps? lonely wife exploring her budding interest in voyeurism?). Even for the times that you end up watching Primal Fear rather than Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure. And let's definitely not forget the classic Real Sex series or it's 90s bandwagon sibling Sex Bytes.
It persisted on to my generation as well.
At one point I had a stash of like, two Playboys and a Penthouse that I got from a friend who, I believe, got them from his father's stash. They were buried in a Ziploc bag inside of a plastic bag under a rock in a vacant lot near our houses where we had constructed a fort and spent much of our time. Eventually I presume I forgot about it.
A few years ago I was home over break or such and I went back to my old neighborhood to see how things had changed since I was a child. My friend there had moved back in high school and I had moved a bit earlier and it was definitely not the same place. You used to be able to see the rock wall that we spent most of an autumn constructing from the highway, but I don't think I could find any trace of it anymore only the barest outlines of the rocks, tires, and maybe a few bits of the scrap wood that had made up our sanctuary that we used to know so well. I think the old table that had once been there was missing. I remembered roughly where I had hidden the old magazines and, despite knowing that over a decade or so in a place with snow and rain would have decimated them, but at least I would find their remains and have that small connection to the past, but they were gone with no trace to show that they had ever been there. I don't know what happened to them, but I hope that another child found them not long after me and they were passed on.
A few years ago I was out in the back alleys of the college town where I was living over the last weekend in May trying to hunt down a new couch from the vast array that were left as students left town at the end of the semester. While doing so (and finding a great reclining couch as well) I stumbled across a treasure trove of maybe two solid years of Playboy including the 50th Anniversary issue that had been left out for the trash. I immediately loaded them up in the car and brought them home. When I moved a few years later it was with a certain degree of regret that I too threw almost all of them away with only a few brought along because of interesting articles or such (Chuck Palahnick's Guts , some of Hunter S. Thompson's last published work, the aforementioned anniversary issue). Reading them with my girlfriend on the lengthy car trip across the country I was again reminded of that childhood stash and lamented that much as I had been filled with the same feeling when I found this recent trove I was unable to find someone to pass it on to. Even worse I doubt that the modest collection of the softest of soft-core would have held any real appeal.
You also forget staying up late into the morning in order to watch a movie showing on Cinemax because it has a provocative-sounding title and perhaps the tell-tale listings of Nudity and Strong Sexual Content. Maybe it is starring Shannon Tweed in some capacity (sexy sex therapist perhaps? lonely wife exploring her budding interest in voyeurism?). Even for the times that you end up watching Primal Fear rather than Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure. And let's definitely not forget the classic Real Sex series or it's 90s bandwagon sibling Sex Bytes.
belgand
+0 -0
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Zapatos, gladi8orrex, clembot)
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Zapatos, gladi8orrex, clembot)
zapatos
+0 -0
This was posted a few comics back. I'm laming it.
Sorry Belgand.
This was posted a few comics back. I'm laming it.
Sorry Belgand.
belgand
+0 -0
Really? I didn't notice it and just recalled it from memory. In all fairness it got more erections than it deserved. Seriously people, don't just chubby images that people didn't edit themselves in even the slightest way. I was just bringing up something relevant that others had said.
Really? I didn't notice it and just recalled it from memory. In all fairness it got more erections than it deserved. Seriously people, don't just chubby images that people didn't edit themselves in even the slightest way. I was just bringing up something relevant that others had said.
zapatos
+0 -0
Especially don't chubby something which is relevant to something else.
Especially don't chubby something which is relevant to something else.
perilon
+1 -0
I recently moved to a new city and am renting a room in a house. On my first day here, the landlord and I spent the day clearing the room of clutter which he had let it gradually accumulate, much of it from the days when he lived here as a bachelor. He has since married and produced a son, who was along for the day, helping clean up in his seven-year-old way. We were carting boxes of his old possessions out of my closet into a storage room, when the following conversation occurred:
Kid: "What's in this box, dad?"
Dad: "Oh, that's old National Geographics. Maybe we can take that and your mom can look through and see if there are any she wants to save."
Kid: "And what's in this one, dad?"
Dad: "Um, that's just more old magazines. Don't worry about it." [quickly hands the box to me]
Kid: "Maybe mom would want these too?"
Dad: "Um, I don't think she would."
Kid: "Are they the wrong kind of magazine?"
Dad: "Yes! They're the wrong kind of magazine!" [knowing glance at me]
Sure enough I took a peek and it was full of old Penthouse s. The whole scene went just like something out of a movie or somethin' and just gave me hella poignant chuckles.
I recently moved to a new city and am renting a room in a house. On my first day here, the landlord and I spent the day clearing the room of clutter which he had let it gradually accumulate, much of it from the days when he lived here as a bachelor. He has since married and produced a son, who was along for the day, helping clean up in his seven-year-old way. We were carting boxes of his old possessions out of my closet into a storage room, when the following conversation occurred:
Kid: "What's in this box, dad?"
Dad: "Oh, that's old National Geographics. Maybe we can take that and your mom can look through and see if there are any she wants to save."
Kid: "And what's in this one, dad?"
Dad: "Um, that's just more old magazines. Don't worry about it." [quickly hands the box to me]
Kid: "Maybe mom would want these too?"
Dad: "Um, I don't think she would."
Kid: "Are they the wrong kind of magazine?"
Dad: "Yes! They're the wrong kind of magazine!" [knowing glance at me]
Sure enough I took a peek and it was full of old Penthouse s. The whole scene went just like something out of a movie or somethin' and just gave me hella poignant chuckles.
belgand
+0 -0
March '74 Oui Passed Down To Next Generation In Special Ceremony
We need to maintain a depository of pornographic materials. Some magazines and perhaps a few DVDs to pass on to the next generation. This should be every child's pubescent birthright. Whole cultures and rituals forming around the passage of this essential information.
Sure the Internet will supersede it to a certain degree, but that might not always be ideal. We must keep the traditions of our forefathers alive. Printed porn has existed since the time of the Romans (yeah, you want to imagine how much you'll value an erotic scroll or perhaps some Japanese shunga?) and I doubt it will ever entirely fade away.
It will get pretty faded over time though so add some newer stuff to the box as needed.
March '74 Oui Passed Down To Next Generation In Special Ceremony
We need to maintain a depository of pornographic materials. Some magazines and perhaps a few DVDs to pass on to the next generation. This should be every child's pubescent birthright. Whole cultures and rituals forming around the passage of this essential information.
Sure the Internet will supersede it to a certain degree, but that might not always be ideal. We must keep the traditions of our forefathers alive. Printed porn has existed since the time of the Romans (yeah, you want to imagine how much you'll value an erotic scroll or perhaps some Japanese shunga?) and I doubt it will ever entirely fade away.
It will get pretty faded over time though so add some newer stuff to the box as needed.
zhankfor
+0 -0
Y'know what, looking at porn at an early age is a terrifying thrill no matter the medium. Perhaps kids don't need to tape Hustlers to the bottom of their drawers anymore, but I am sure that even today they lie awake in bed imagining secret methods their parents might employ to discover the websites they have been viewing on the family computeeeeeeer .
Y'know what, looking at porn at an early age is a terrifying thrill no matter the medium. Perhaps kids don't need to tape Hustlers to the bottom of their drawers anymore, but I am sure that even today they lie awake in bed imagining secret methods their parents might employ to discover the websites they have been viewing on the family computeeeeeeer .
belgand
+0 -0
This family computer concept seems odd to me. What on Earth is it? Are you suggesting some sort of horrifyingly shared computer? I cannot fathom such a concept.
Having your own computer is an important aspect of privacy and the very personal bond between you and the computer.
This family computer concept seems odd to me. What on Earth is it? Are you suggesting some sort of horrifyingly shared computer? I cannot fathom such a concept.
Having your own computer is an important aspect of privacy and the very personal bond between you and the computer.
zapatos
+0 -0
How else can you cram in constant gaming?
Were I only allowed to play for an hour, I never would have been able to amass such skills!
How else can you cram in constant gaming?
Were I only allowed to play for an hour, I never would have been able to amass such skills!
belgand
+0 -0
Or spend all afternoon on the main BBSes at 2400 bps.
Or spend all afternoon on the main BBSes at 2400 bps.
sje46
+0 -0
You know there was a period (numerous periods) where my family didn't even have one computer. We had to go to the library to write papers and find porn and such.
You know there was a period (numerous periods) where my family didn't even have one computer. We had to go to the library to write papers and find porn and such.
rowboat
+1 -0
That never really occurred to me, man. We were lucky. The struggle was purifying. We had to fight for every inch of our tiny boners and that was beautiful.
That having been said, I couldn't be happier about the ready availability of it now that I'm an adult. I do feel sorry for the kids, though....
That never really occurred to me, man. We were lucky. The struggle was purifying. We had to fight for every inch of our tiny boners and that was beautiful.
That having been said, I couldn't be happier about the ready availability of it now that I'm an adult. I do feel sorry for the kids, though....
wozzeck
+2 -0
I don't care for that our you put before tiny boners .
I don't care for that our you put before tiny boners .
rowboat
+0 -0
So just how big was your boner back when you were cold spankin' it to the "Wicked Game" video?
So just how big was your boner back when you were cold spankin' it to the "Wicked Game" video?
gormster
+0 -0
You know I was actually surprised to find out when I started having sex that my dick was actually above average size. It was a pleasant, unexpected surprise, like finding a hundred dollars taped to a football that has just hit you in the stomach.
You know I was actually surprised to find out when I started having sex that my dick was actually above average size. It was a pleasant, unexpected surprise, like finding a hundred dollars taped to a football that has just hit you in the stomach.
gormster
+3 -0
SAID ACTUALLY AND SURPRISE TOO MUCH AARGH I ALWAYS DO THAT
SAID ACTUALLY AND SURPRISE TOO MUCH AARGH I ALWAYS DO THAT
falseprophet
+0 -0
I get the hundred dollars part but I don't get the getting hit in the stomach part. That makes it sounds like finding out you had a big dick was a blessing in disguise when it was really a blessing out in the open, running around in the rain, about to get hit by lightning.
Oh my God gormster did your dick get hit by lightning I am so sorry my condolences.
I get the hundred dollars part but I don't get the getting hit in the stomach part. That makes it sounds like finding out you had a big dick was a blessing in disguise when it was really a blessing out in the open, running around in the rain, about to get hit by lightning.
Oh my God gormster did your dick get hit by lightning I am so sorry my condolences.
belgand
+0 -0
Because of how it happened. The lady in question took one look at it and her mouth gaped open in way more disturbing than exciting.
"There's no way in hell that monster is going in me!" she said.
Nice to know that he was in possession of that which many desire, but tempered by the problems it was to present.
Because of how it happened. The lady in question took one look at it and her mouth gaped open in way more disturbing than exciting.
"There's no way in hell that monster is going in me!" she said.
Nice to know that he was in possession of that which many desire, but tempered by the problems it was to present.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Ah... hm.
Ah... hm.
wolfensti
+0 -0
That will electrocute his dick
That will electrocute his dick
never_die
+1 -0
my god
ive missed out on so much of what youth SHOULD be.
i mean, they've a site that tells you the exact time in movies when erotic happenings happen.
at least we still know we want to kiss molly ringwald on the titties.
my god
ive missed out on so much of what youth SHOULD be.
i mean, they've a site that tells you the exact time in movies when erotic happenings happen.
at least we still know we want to kiss molly ringwald on the titties.
pppoa
+1 -0
I have to admit, although I agree with this sentiment, I also feel it has become trite. The juxtaposition of "Things were better in the old days" and/or "Kids have it easy nowadays" with Pornography has become overused. I think I even saw it on Comedy Central or something.
Maybe it's just me.
I have to admit, although I agree with this sentiment, I also feel it has become trite. The juxtaposition of "Things were better in the old days" and/or "Kids have it easy nowadays" with Pornography has become overused. I think I even saw it on Comedy Central or something.
Maybe it's just me.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'll keep that in mind.
I'll keep that in mind.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
YOU SPOILED BASTARDS ARE SO HUNG UP ON YOUR GODDAMN FREE PORN YOU FORGET WHAT MATTERS
YOU SPOILED BASTARDS ARE SO HUNG UP ON YOUR GODDAMN FREE PORN YOU FORGET WHAT MATTERS
rude_mechanical
+1 -0
RIP African boobies in National Geographic.
RIP African boobies in National Geographic.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
RIP watching the Spanish channel on Saturday mornings and firing up the VCR when Caliente came on.
RIP watching the Spanish channel on Saturday mornings and firing up the VCR when Caliente came on.
falseprophet
+0 -0
That death is less due to the rise of the internet than the rise of DVD.
That death is less due to the rise of the internet than the rise of DVD.
invidious
+2 -0
Hella pro. The Spanish stations, man, every show had some chick with rude titties. Didn't matter what it was. Their version of Sesame Street was like "Big Bird and the 38DD hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold." I watched Sabado Gigante for about three months before I figured out that "sabado" actually was NOT Spanish for "breasts."
Hella pro. The Spanish stations, man, every show had some chick with rude titties. Didn't matter what it was. Their version of Sesame Street was like "Big Bird and the 38DD hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold." I watched Sabado Gigante for about three months before I figured out that "sabado" actually was NOT Spanish for "breasts."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I, while honestly trying to test my Spanish skills with Spanish soaps, came across "Anita No Te Rajes" a few years ago and fell in love with every lady on the show, chest down, and the eponymous Anita, legs up. Man, time to Google.
I, while honestly trying to test my Spanish skills with Spanish soaps, came across "Anita No Te Rajes" a few years ago and fell in love with every lady on the show, chest down, and the eponymous Anita, legs up. Man, time to Google.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Soft core on Oxygen at midnight (none of that awkward Talk Sex shit) and Cinemax way back in the (read: my) day when cable had a few nasties tucked in the 60s and 70s and the AUTH button on the remote was all you needed to get some of it. RIP basic New York Metropolitan Area Time Warner Cable.
Soft core on Oxygen at midnight (none of that awkward Talk Sex shit) and Cinemax way back in the (read: my) day when cable had a few nasties tucked in the 60s and 70s and the AUTH button on the remote was all you needed to get some of it. RIP basic New York Metropolitan Area Time Warner Cable.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
60s and 70s meaning channel numbers, por su informacion.
60s and 70s meaning channel numbers, por su informacion.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
i don't know, I think nothing beats the actual tactile sense of holding something with the representation of nude women on it, and stealing furtive glances at your bedroom door to make it isn't opening--then thinking of your mother right at your little climax.
i don't know, I think nothing beats the actual tactile sense of holding something with the representation of nude women on it, and stealing furtive glances at your bedroom door to make it isn't opening--then thinking of your mother right at your little climax.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Actually, I can think of one.
Actually, I can think of one.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Thinking of your father?
Thinking of your father?
falseprophet
+1 -0
See, I would've elaborated but I thought brevity was the soul of wit but that just sounds more and more ridiculous the more I hear it.
I was going for "the actual tactile sense of holding nude women" but I guess I'll just have to wait till I get home so I can cobble together a "NOT INCESTUOUSLY GAY" poster (Fuck, I'll probably need a scene from The Breakfast Club for all that) and post it just in time for everyone to stop caring.
Man am I ever having Burger King tonight.
See, I would've elaborated but I thought brevity was the soul of wit but that just sounds more and more ridiculous the more I hear it.
I was going for "the actual tactile sense of holding nude women" but I guess I'll just have to wait till I get home so I can cobble together a "NOT INCESTUOUSLY GAY" poster (Fuck, I'll probably need a scene from The Breakfast Club for all that) and post it just in time for everyone to stop caring.
Man am I ever having Burger King tonight.
rowboat
+0 -0
So are the rest of us, man. So are the rest of us.
So are the rest of us, man. So are the rest of us.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Can I have the pickle?
Can I have the pickle?
battlebotscott
+0 -0
Yes. My nostalgia for my own just-pubecent age doesn't extend to the fear of being caught masterbating. I would have prefered almost drowning (again) to that.
Yes. My nostalgia for my own just-pubecent age doesn't extend to the fear of being caught masterbating. I would have prefered almost drowning (again) to that.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Freud shakes his dead fist at the Internet .
Freud shakes his dead fist at the Internet .
achilleselbow
+1 -0
You forgot hearing your mom at the exact moment of yelling at you from the kitchen to come eat already because your dinner's getting cold on account that you've been trying for half an hour unsuccessfully because at the slightest sound of footsteps you shove the magazine under your covers, grab the open algebra textbook you've placed nearby, and pretend to be reading it attentively, stopping short so many times that by now it's not even gonna be good anymore, and so you're trying so hard to answer "just a second!" in your most normal-sounding voice but of course it comes out all strained and breathless as you're going through your little convulsions and you just know that she knows exactly what you're doing and of course hearing her voice made you think of her, but that doesn't mean anything, right? you tell yourself reassuringly as you shuffle to the bathroom to wash your hands.
You forgot hearing your mom at the exact moment of yelling at you from the kitchen to come eat already because your dinner's getting cold on account that you've been trying for half an hour unsuccessfully because at the slightest sound of footsteps you shove the magazine under your covers, grab the open algebra textbook you've placed nearby, and pretend to be reading it attentively, stopping short so many times that by now it's not even gonna be good anymore, and so you're trying so hard to answer "just a second!" in your most normal-sounding voice but of course it comes out all strained and breathless as you're going through your little convulsions and you just know that she knows exactly what you're doing and of course hearing her voice made you think of her, but that doesn't mean anything, right? you tell yourself reassuringly as you shuffle to the bathroom to wash your hands.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
"exact moment of climax " ARGH
"exact moment of climax " ARGH
mattylite
+1 -0
Here, let me punctuate that for you.
Exact moment of climax: ARGH.
Here, let me punctuate that for you.
Exact moment of climax: ARGH.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Who ARGH's there?
Who ARGH's there?
falseprophet
+0 -0
You were almost a match for me, grasshopper.
You were almost a match for me, grasshopper.
belgand
+1 -0
But, and excuse me if I'm somehow incorrect in some way with this, aren't you a lady? Was this really a main interest of yours at this age?
I had thought this was mainly thing of dudes, yes? Is there appropriate analog for ladies? I think, in way, ladies have it harder. Is no way to safely acquire sex toys at young age when they are most needed. Solution must be found. I mean, should not 14 year-old girls be supplied with just such as a basic vibrator? To be using hairbrush is very bad idea I am told. Can cause... damages and much unpleasantness.
But, and excuse me if I'm somehow incorrect in some way with this, aren't you a lady? Was this really a main interest of yours at this age?
I had thought this was mainly thing of dudes, yes? Is there appropriate analog for ladies? I think, in way, ladies have it harder. Is no way to safely acquire sex toys at young age when they are most needed. Solution must be found. I mean, should not 14 year-old girls be supplied with just such as a basic vibrator? To be using hairbrush is very bad idea I am told. Can cause... damages and much unpleasantness.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
psh, my main prurient interest as a young lass was looking at shock images on the internet.
And yeah, pretty much it'd be very tough for a girl to have that same ease-of-masturbation that men have. It takes more effort than a willing genital, a hand, and a fuzzy memory of breasts.
psh, my main prurient interest as a young lass was looking at shock images on the internet.
And yeah, pretty much it'd be very tough for a girl to have that same ease-of-masturbation that men have. It takes more effort than a willing genital, a hand, and a fuzzy memory of breasts.
belgand
+0 -0
Well, you can do it totally manual and there are certainly plenty of women who prefer it this way, but I'm certain that technology certainly helps matters. Not to mention that young girls wanting to learn of the ways of the flesh are likely going to want to try an approximation of the event itself and thus will seek something more penetrating than they can provide on their own.
Images of fuzzy breasts (i.e. such as those seen though a sweater on a classmate) are definitely even more readily available to boys. I never thought this was a major problem for girls due to a lesser interest in a visual component. I still don't know what it is girls are looking for. The ladies I know whom I can ask such things either have all failed to provide adequate information or are such total sex-preverts (e.g. pegging a man wearing water wings in a specific alleyway around town that they point out every time you walk past and giggle a little bit) that they cannot be trusted to provide an accurate depiction of what most girls care for.
I'm told that women tend to look for more of a narrative. An erotic fantasy scenario to be imagined and acted out. Romance novels would certainly support this hypothesis, but anecdotal evidence does not. That or the ladies I know are simply lacking in imagination and are part of the rare group that simply do not have sexual fantasies.
Well, you can do it totally manual and there are certainly plenty of women who prefer it this way, but I'm certain that technology certainly helps matters. Not to mention that young girls wanting to learn of the ways of the flesh are likely going to want to try an approximation of the event itself and thus will seek something more penetrating than they can provide on their own.
Images of fuzzy breasts (i.e. such as those seen though a sweater on a classmate) are definitely even more readily available to boys. I never thought this was a major problem for girls due to a lesser interest in a visual component. I still don't know what it is girls are looking for. The ladies I know whom I can ask such things either have all failed to provide adequate information or are such total sex-preverts (e.g. pegging a man wearing water wings in a specific alleyway around town that they point out every time you walk past and giggle a little bit) that they cannot be trusted to provide an accurate depiction of what most girls care for.
I'm told that women tend to look for more of a narrative. An erotic fantasy scenario to be imagined and acted out. Romance novels would certainly support this hypothesis, but anecdotal evidence does not. That or the ladies I know are simply lacking in imagination and are part of the rare group that simply do not have sexual fantasies.
sje46
+0 -0
This is what I hear. They like acts of love and romance, and men like images.
This is what I hear. They like acts of love and romance, and men like images.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm not really a fan of romance, but I do prefer the erotic stories to the erotic pictures. This may be related to my dislike of movies.
I'm not really a fan of romance, but I do prefer the erotic stories to the erotic pictures. This may be related to my dislike of movies.
sje46
+0 -0
Because you are a woman, right?
Because you are a woman, right?
daedala_x
+0 -0
erotic stories are totally awesome. i frequented nifty.org quite a bit concurrently with my aforementioned gay fetish. i especially liked the way that each category was separated by themes, my favorites being celebrity, first time, incest, and science fiction and fantasy. in my youthful curiosity, i decided to explore the bestiality section which opened a pandora's box of sorts. some of them were just physical, but a lot of them were really love stories. holy shit so many of my issues come from reading this site at a young age goddammit it is not normal to want to have romantic relationships with animals GEEZ, YOUNGER SELF, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WHY YOU GOTTA BE SUCH A RAGING WEIRDOMANIAC???
erotic stories are totally awesome. i frequented nifty.org quite a bit concurrently with my aforementioned gay fetish. i especially liked the way that each category was separated by themes, my favorites being celebrity, first time, incest, and science fiction and fantasy. in my youthful curiosity, i decided to explore the bestiality section which opened a pandora's box of sorts. some of them were just physical, but a lot of them were really love stories. holy shit so many of my issues come from reading this site at a young age goddammit it is not normal to want to have romantic relationships with animals GEEZ, YOUNGER SELF, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WHY YOU GOTTA BE SUCH A RAGING WEIRDOMANIAC???
daedala_x
+0 -0
oops, that's https://www.nifty.org/
maybe someone else will get a kick out of it. it was a huge part of my coming of age process, you know, the part that made me really not a normal person.
oops, that's https://www.nifty.org/
maybe someone else will get a kick out of it. it was a huge part of my coming of age process, you know, the part that made me really not a normal person.
stereo
+1 -0
I kinda like a grab bag, with it all sorted like that I just don't know where to start.
I think I'm not a normal person cause I'm fascinated by how everything works. I see goatse and I think "years of exercises, dude must have hella patience". I see tubgirl and I wonder how to reproduce that fluid, and how to make my camera take such clear shots of it.
I kinda like a grab bag, with it all sorted like that I just don't know where to start.
I think I'm not a normal person cause I'm fascinated by how everything works. I see goatse and I think "years of exercises, dude must have hella patience". I see tubgirl and I wonder how to reproduce that fluid, and how to make my camera take such clear shots of it.
daedala_x
+1 -0
i think that's fairly normal. more normal than getting off to that sort of stuff at any rate.
recently my roommate kept bugging me to look at this video where a dude sits on a glass jar, it breaks in his ass, and he spends the rest of the time pulling out the shards. after my finals were over, i concede, and we spend about 20 minutes watching and pausing the video trying to figure out whether it's fake and if so, how that could be accomplished. i am still quite puzzled. i mean the dude is completely controlled, like not spazzing out or anything. the internet is truly a weird and mysterious place.
i think that's fairly normal. more normal than getting off to that sort of stuff at any rate.
recently my roommate kept bugging me to look at this video where a dude sits on a glass jar, it breaks in his ass, and he spends the rest of the time pulling out the shards. after my finals were over, i concede, and we spend about 20 minutes watching and pausing the video trying to figure out whether it's fake and if so, how that could be accomplished. i am still quite puzzled. i mean the dude is completely controlled, like not spazzing out or anything. the internet is truly a weird and mysterious place.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
me and my family in rural Poland used to watch this sort of thing happen in the public squares.
Mostly it was reserved for loose women and orphaned children. We drank and we danced for many hours afterwords.
me and my family in rural Poland used to watch this sort of thing happen in the public squares.
Mostly it was reserved for loose women and orphaned children. We drank and we danced for many hours afterwords.
falseprophet
+9 -0
My friend Pawel who's currently in law school was born in Poland and pretty much all his stories end the same way.
Like that time we got really drunk and went over to the bad side of town and we were like "Man let's get us a prostitute" but we didn't have much cash so had to go with a really old gal with short blonde hair and sagging tits. We tried to do her on both sides but she was pretty much dry everywhere so we were like fuck this and we walked away but when she was like "Where my money?" we were like "We're not payin for your wrinkly old ass" and "We didn't have any money anyway" then she started screamin and followin us even though she could barely walk straight what with her heels and coke-addled brain and all and all I could think was "Man this bitch is crazy she don't have a tooth in her mouth but that did not help her blowjobs any." Finally she said "I got somethin for yo ass" and reached into her purse but we just bum rushed her, Pawel trying to wrench the gun out of her hand, me putting her in a half nelson. Then the gun went off into the air right before she started screaming and I realized Pawel was probably breaking her arm and I almost shouted "Don't break her arm" but then she dropped the gun and just collapsed so we broke. We made it back to the subway away from the sounds of her screams and went back to his place and took turns using the shower. His roommate was out with her friends that night and Pawel offered to let me sleep in her bed but I just said "I'll take the couch, thanks." We were too restless to sleep so we sat down and watched Big Trouble in Little China but neither of us laughed. I looked at Pawel and he was just staring straight ahead and I said "What's wrong." He shook his head. Covered his eyes with his hands. Then he looked at me and said, "When the gun went off, I came."
We drank and we danced for many hours afterwards.
My friend Pawel who's currently in law school was born in Poland and pretty much all his stories end the same way.
Like that time we got really drunk and went over to the bad side of town and we were like "Man let's get us a prostitute" but we didn't have much cash so had to go with a really old gal with short blonde hair and sagging tits. We tried to do her on both sides but she was pretty much dry everywhere so we were like fuck this and we walked away but when she was like "Where my money?" we were like "We're not payin for your wrinkly old ass" and "We didn't have any money anyway" then she started screamin and followin us even though she could barely walk straight what with her heels and coke-addled brain and all and all I could think was "Man this bitch is crazy she don't have a tooth in her mouth but that did not help her blowjobs any." Finally she said "I got somethin for yo ass" and reached into her purse but we just bum rushed her, Pawel trying to wrench the gun out of her hand, me putting her in a half nelson. Then the gun went off into the air right before she started screaming and I realized Pawel was probably breaking her arm and I almost shouted "Don't break her arm" but then she dropped the gun and just collapsed so we broke. We made it back to the subway away from the sounds of her screams and went back to his place and took turns using the shower. His roommate was out with her friends that night and Pawel offered to let me sleep in her bed but I just said "I'll take the couch, thanks." We were too restless to sleep so we sat down and watched Big Trouble in Little China but neither of us laughed. I looked at Pawel and he was just staring straight ahead and I said "What's wrong." He shook his head. Covered his eyes with his hands. Then he looked at me and said, "When the gun went off, I came."
We drank and we danced for many hours afterwards.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Sounds kinda like a Honky-Tonk Blowjob, to me.
Sounds kinda like a Honky-Tonk Blowjob, to me.
belgand
+0 -0
But it was of the imitation variety. Not a Gen-u-wine Honky-Tonk Blowjob.
But it was of the imitation variety. Not a Gen-u-wine Honky-Tonk Blowjob.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh man my girlfriend told me about that video and I started freaking out no i swear to god I am not clicking on that the images in my mind are bad enough.
Oh man my girlfriend told me about that video and I started freaking out no i swear to god I am not clicking on that the images in my mind are bad enough.
pogo
+0 -0
I have kept my mind pure, with only a couple images from a classy porno like "The Devil in Miss Jones," which still make me kind of sick. My porn level is permantly set at 1960's Playboy level, with a little cover on the nipples, mostly, like some soap suds or something.
I have kept my mind pure, with only a couple images from a classy porno like "The Devil in Miss Jones," which still make me kind of sick. My porn level is permantly set at 1960's Playboy level, with a little cover on the nipples, mostly, like some soap suds or something.
rowboat
+0 -0
You probably have fewer nightmares than me, then.
You probably have fewer nightmares than me, then.
mrwombat
+0 -0
I would give anything to go back to that level, and forget everything I've ever seen from japan. That eel video can never be unseen.
I would give anything to go back to that level, and forget everything I've ever seen from japan. That eel video can never be unseen.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I used to be able to get off to just people kissing. I would videotape Big Red commercials. One time I saw an illustration in an encyclopedia volume I had under the article for "Hat" which had a woman wearing an elegant-looking hat, and a dress with a somewhat low neckline - that image lasted me for months. Now I can't even watch anything that doesn't involve double penetration. I shudder to think what the next ten years will bring.
I used to be able to get off to just people kissing. I would videotape Big Red commercials. One time I saw an illustration in an encyclopedia volume I had under the article for "Hat" which had a woman wearing an elegant-looking hat, and a dress with a somewhat low neckline - that image lasted me for months. Now I can't even watch anything that doesn't involve double penetration. I shudder to think what the next ten years will bring.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Actual sex with a woman?
It's a thought.
Actual sex with a woman?
It's a thought.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yes. That is a thought.
Yes. That is a thought.
belgand
+1 -0
Man, you're still only with double penetration? That is so quaint. I have moved on to the kind of sexual acts that require a solid weekend of logistical planning and choreography. Even such as DVDA* is a distant memory.
It's like the sexual equivalent of assembling furniture from Ikea. In a way, literally, as an Allen wrench is often rather necessary.
*SACD seemed better, but the encoding process seems a tad wonkier to me. I just don't trust using that much transformation if you're trying to maintain fidelity. It's also not as much fun to ask for at the store.
Man, you're still only with double penetration? That is so quaint. I have moved on to the kind of sexual acts that require a solid weekend of logistical planning and choreography. Even such as DVDA* is a distant memory.
It's like the sexual equivalent of assembling furniture from Ikea. In a way, literally, as an Allen wrench is often rather necessary.
*SACD seemed better, but the encoding process seems a tad wonkier to me. I just don't trust using that much transformation if you're trying to maintain fidelity. It's also not as much fun to ask for at the store.
stereo
+0 -0
Sex with hex nuts is still only triple penetration.
Sex with hex nuts is still only triple penetration.
zapatos
+0 -0
I've moved beyond all of this manner of "hardcore" fucking, I have come full-circle.
I'm back to attractive fully-clothed females, being somewhat flirtatious. BOOM!
I've moved beyond all of this manner of "hardcore" fucking, I have come full-circle.
I'm back to attractive fully-clothed females, being somewhat flirtatious. BOOM!
stereo
+2 -0
The way I see it, porn is basically this n-dimensional space, where each axis represents a certain attribute present in the porn, and there is a corresponding attraction value that varies in all these dimensions. What you gotta do is find a stable point where no one attribute can be adjusted to increase your level of attraction. It's not like you're just going to keep wanting more and more boobs until the screen is full of them. There's an optimal size (which may depend on other factors) and you just have to find it.
Double penetration and other "kinky" acts are just the discovery of new axes to explore, and naturally your equilibrium will change when these new avenues become available to you, and you may find what originally interested you to no longer be sufficient, as you know there is much better out there.
The way I see it, porn is basically this n-dimensional space, where each axis represents a certain attribute present in the porn, and there is a corresponding attraction value that varies in all these dimensions. What you gotta do is find a stable point where no one attribute can be adjusted to increase your level of attraction. It's not like you're just going to keep wanting more and more boobs until the screen is full of them. There's an optimal size (which may depend on other factors) and you just have to find it.
Double penetration and other "kinky" acts are just the discovery of new axes to explore, and naturally your equilibrium will change when these new avenues become available to you, and you may find what originally interested you to no longer be sufficient, as you know there is much better out there.
mattylite
+0 -0
Count me a subscriber to your theory of porno-space.
Count me a subscriber to your theory of porno-space.
redphillip
+0 -0
I really, really love Science!
I really, really love Science!
mattylite
+0 -0
As I alluded to in regards to scrambled Skinemax movies, a memory of fuzzy breasts will even do.
As I alluded to in regards to scrambled Skinemax movies, a memory of fuzzy breasts will even do.
daedala_x
+6 -0
ditto to the shock images. i was also a big fan of bel ami . it was just less intimidating to start out on because there were no women to compare myself to. plus it would all be set in some nice european villa with classical music playing in the background and with boys who could pretty much pass for teen heartthrobs with thin muscular bodies and no body hair.
that was fun until my mom found it on the computer. along with pictures of belle getting it from the candle. there were many screams that night. i have continued to disappoint and outrage her poor soul ever since.
ditto to the shock images. i was also a big fan of bel ami . it was just less intimidating to start out on because there were no women to compare myself to. plus it would all be set in some nice european villa with classical music playing in the background and with boys who could pretty much pass for teen heartthrobs with thin muscular bodies and no body hair.
that was fun until my mom found it on the computer. along with pictures of belle getting it from the candle. there were many screams that night. i have continued to disappoint and outrage her poor soul ever since.
daidai
+0 -0
Self depreciative humor is the very best type of humor.
You deserve many chubbies
Self depreciative humor is the very best type of humor.
You deserve many chubbies
wozzeck
+0 -0
Hilarious, but still, I want to scream at you myself having ever so foolishly clicked on that despite all the contextual warnings I that my insomnia-addled mind failed to process.
Hilarious, but still, I want to scream at you myself having ever so foolishly clicked on that despite all the contextual warnings I that my insomnia-addled mind failed to process.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
How about a memory of fuzzy breasts?
How about a memory of fuzzy breasts?
belgand
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
?
[IMGS OFF]
?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
DAMMIT BELGAND NO. BAD BELGAND!
(I was thinking it would be like, muppet porn or something NOT THIS.)
DAMMIT BELGAND NO. BAD BELGAND!
(I was thinking it would be like, muppet porn or something NOT THIS.)
belgand
+0 -0
You were thinking of Fozzie breasts there I suspect. Wanka-wanka-wanka!
You were thinking of Fozzie breasts there I suspect. Wanka-wanka-wanka!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
yih,ff
yih,ff
belgand
+0 -0
Not me. Blame Elbox for requesting it. I had to sink into the depths of DeviantArt to find that.
Not me. Blame Elbox for requesting it. I had to sink into the depths of DeviantArt to find that.
wolfensti
+0 -0
COVER YOUR FACE,
AAAGH IT BURNS
COVER YOUR FACE,
AAAGH IT BURNS
rowboat
+0 -0
Actually, it's been pretty firmly established at this point that Autrepoupee is really just a very crafty 36-year-old man who could definitely kick the shit out of any of us and would undoubtedly do so for almost no reason. Get with the program, dude.
Actually, it's been pretty firmly established at this point that Autrepoupee is really just a very crafty 36-year-old man who could definitely kick the shit out of any of us and would undoubtedly do so for almost no reason. Get with the program, dude.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah. Next you're going to tell us that redphillipe is one of those gays.
Yeah. Next you're going to tell us that redphillipe is one of those gays.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
I have actually written essays on this topic.
I have actually written essays on this topic.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Agh, even though the internet was readily available for years before I was boner-approved, I still hadn't learned its ways properly before I began my long day's journey into youngmanhood, and my mom's JCPenney catalogs and the rare and precious Victoria's Secret (snail mail) spam ads had to do until I learned to properly use the internet (and after my mom let me and my sister have "adult" AOL accounts).
Agh, even though the internet was readily available for years before I was boner-approved, I still hadn't learned its ways properly before I began my long day's journey into youngmanhood, and my mom's JCPenney catalogs and the rare and precious Victoria's Secret (snail mail) spam ads had to do until I learned to properly use the internet (and after my mom let me and my sister have "adult" AOL accounts).
tekende
+0 -0
Oh hell yes, Victoria's Secret catalogs! OLD school!
Oh hell yes, Victoria's Secret catalogs! OLD school!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
They would come and she would leave them on the table for like 3 days then throw them in the recycling basket thing we had, then I'd swipe it to do the Deed, then after losing some good catalogs and ads, I would wait till enough recycling covered it, then I'd swipe it and keep it in my room. Then I would periodically hate myself and throw them all out, then regret it, then start over again. Ah, 13!
They would come and she would leave them on the table for like 3 days then throw them in the recycling basket thing we had, then I'd swipe it to do the Deed, then after losing some good catalogs and ads, I would wait till enough recycling covered it, then I'd swipe it and keep it in my room. Then I would periodically hate myself and throw them all out, then regret it, then start over again. Ah, 13!
belgand
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Preteen manna.
Preteen manna.
belgand
+0 -0
There's one page in the back where Vendela is wearing this gold net thing and you can totally see her bare nipples through it. Oh wait, maybe that was another one.
This would be 1994. A time when Cindy Crawford was still officially hot. I think this still exists, still slightly hidden in my parent's house. The cover completely shorn off and worn, but still carefully wrapped around it.
The ad on the inner cover is for how totally rad Minidisc is.
There's one page in the back where Vendela is wearing this gold net thing and you can totally see her bare nipples through it. Oh wait, maybe that was another one.
This would be 1994. A time when Cindy Crawford was still officially hot. I think this still exists, still slightly hidden in my parent's house. The cover completely shorn off and worn, but still carefully wrapped around it.
The ad on the inner cover is for how totally rad Minidisc is.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Fucker, she's still hot.
Fucker, she's still hot.
belgand
+0 -0
But not officially and not like she was at the time. She's now solidly into MILF territory. I think you were born a bit too late to be there in her prime.
If you ever watched House of Style and you were a dude then you know.
But not officially and not like she was at the time. She's now solidly into MILF territory. I think you were born a bit too late to be there in her prime.
If you ever watched House of Style and you were a dude then you know.
belgand
+0 -0
I mean, this is what I'm talking about
[IMGS OFF]
or maybe it was this
[IMGS OFF]
I had one of those as a poster. I think the former because, even at that age I was never so low as an ass man, but at the same time they both look oddly familiar. Maybe a friend had one, who is to know?
I worry that I may have just been following the trend or have otherwise changed. That is most definitely not what I'm into now.
I mean, this is what I'm talking about
[IMGS OFF]
or maybe it was this
[IMGS OFF]
I had one of those as a poster. I think the former because, even at that age I was never so low as an ass man, but at the same time they both look oddly familiar. Maybe a friend had one, who is to know?
I worry that I may have just been following the trend or have otherwise changed. That is most definitely not what I'm into now.
rockstarsatemy
+0 -0
those eyebrows are fucking giant.
those eyebrows are fucking giant.
rowboat
+0 -0
Apparently someone at Tinypic is a true Ass Man.
Apparently someone at Tinypic is a true Ass Man.
belgand
+0 -0
Weird. Basically just look on Google for any other image of "Cindy Crawford jeans" and you should find yet another picture of her wearing some unzipped jeans and holding her bare breasts.
Weird. Basically just look on Google for any other image of "Cindy Crawford jeans" and you should find yet another picture of her wearing some unzipped jeans and holding her bare breasts.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Wow, it only took a week to find this. HUBBA HUBBA. This is the Cindy we all know and love.
Wow, it only took a week to find this. HUBBA HUBBA. This is the Cindy we all know and love.
pogo
+0 -0
Still works for me, although I am actually giving up the objectifying of women, since I have an actual woman in my life.
Still works for me, although I am actually giving up the objectifying of women, since I have an actual woman in my life.
rowboat
+4 -0
That's no reason to stop. You have a car - you wouldn't stop objectifying it.
That's no reason to stop. You have a car - you wouldn't stop objectifying it.
zapatos
+0 -0
YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE BLUE BOMBER, YOU TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW ROWBOAT!!!
i have loved
YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE BLUE BOMBER, YOU TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW ROWBOAT!!!
i have loved
shirt145
+0 -0
I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle here, between the hard-fought glimpses of be-froed eighties ladies and the modern pornucopia. I remember doing some crazy surreptitious bean-flicking to the 14th level of the original Diablo, all blue succubus titties fighting me... and I wasn't supposed to be playing it anyway, and the double-forbiddenness nearly blew my little adolescent mind.
I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle here, between the hard-fought glimpses of be-froed eighties ladies and the modern pornucopia. I remember doing some crazy surreptitious bean-flicking to the 14th level of the original Diablo, all blue succubus titties fighting me... and I wasn't supposed to be playing it anyway, and the double-forbiddenness nearly blew my little adolescent mind.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
BAM! B. Dalton was the name i was looking for. All trying to get that Playboy all stuffed on the topped shelf way in the back without ALL the store noticing.
to be honest, FUCK the old days. what a pain the dick it was to find a decent indecent pic of a woman.
now it's just sensory overload.
BAM! B. Dalton was the name i was looking for. All trying to get that Playboy all stuffed on the topped shelf way in the back without ALL the store noticing.
to be honest, FUCK the old days. what a pain the dick it was to find a decent indecent pic of a woman.
now it's just sensory overload.
ashoykh
+0 -0
dude i read that as pube scent
dude i read that as pube scent
baryonyx
+2 -0
The only thing worse than a stern talking-to is a soft talking-to.
The only thing worse than a stern talking-to is a soft talking-to.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
hella middle school style attempt at getting porn.
rusty, now gotcha.. pretty soon town & country's yin/yang symbol.
hella middle school style attempt at getting porn.
rusty, now gotcha.. pretty soon town & country's yin/yang symbol.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Maui, Quicksilver, Billabong, Rip Curl, OP...what else we got out there?
Maui, Quicksilver, Billabong, Rip Curl, OP...what else we got out there?
mattylite
+0 -0
ZUBAZ
ZUBAZ
vanglorious
+0 -0
CATCHIT
CATCHIT
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm guessing Yaga and Mossimo were a little after this period
I'm guessing Yaga and Mossimo were a little after this period
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Stussy (still exists and so I bought a couple tshirts), No Fear, JNCO
Stussy (still exists and so I bought a couple tshirts), No Fear, JNCO
microwave
+0 -1
circumstances
circumstances
metatronatra
+5 -1
Reminds me of the crushing defeat when the only hidden porn stash I found in my house was a stack of Playgirls; I guess that's what I get for living with my grandmother.
Reminds me of the crushing defeat when the only hidden porn stash I found in my house was a stack of Playgirls; I guess that's what I get for living with my grandmother.
bpmead
+8 -0
Oddly enough, Beef really needed this talk, gay or straight.
Oddly enough, Beef really needed this talk, gay or straight.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Actually, I think it wound up having the opposite intended effect:
[i]Oh man this is just a carrot cake all over the floor I had no idea people there would be people who care about you if you were gay why couldn't I have been gay maybe I guess that's why gay people are treated better they are effeminate so it is kind of like being nice to a woman I should've known I'd never be happy if I tried to settle down with a woman fate has just crossed the wires on me and I guess life is just gonna be sliding facefirst down a mountain from here on out...
Actually, I think it wound up having the opposite intended effect:
[i]Oh man this is just a carrot cake all over the floor I had no idea people there would be people who care about you if you were gay why couldn't I have been gay maybe I guess that's why gay people are treated better they are effeminate so it is kind of like being nice to a woman I should've known I'd never be happy if I tried to settle down with a woman fate has just crossed the wires on me and I guess life is just gonna be sliding facefirst down a mountain from here on out...
falseprophet
+5 -0
[/i]
...Too late.
[/i]
...Too late.
rude_mechanical
+0 -0
Oh man, that last panel got me laughing like when I first discovered Achewood. Top form.
Oh man, that last panel got me laughing like when I first discovered Achewood. Top form.
sje46
+0 -0
This is a good one. Five'd.
(Then again I haven't given less than a five yet.)
This is a good one. Five'd.
(Then again I haven't given less than a five yet.)
belgand
+0 -0
This is terrible thing to do. Not all can be five!
You must set a default value and then only give out sparing five to comics that rise well above that baseline. Compare the comic to itself, not all other comics.
This is terrible thing to do. Not all can be five!
You must set a default value and then only give out sparing five to comics that rise well above that baseline. Compare the comic to itself, not all other comics.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
Sje thinks that the rating scale is an age verification.
Sje thinks that the rating scale is an age verification.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't actually rate them all a five, although I do rate them too high. The average is probably a four. I should rate them lower.
Either way, I would rate this a five anyway.
I don't actually rate them all a five, although I do rate them too high. The average is probably a four. I should rate them lower.
Either way, I would rate this a five anyway.
belgand
+0 -0
For me it was a four. Above-average, but not one of the rare classics to warrant a five. I try to give out less than a dozen fives per year if even that many.
For me it was a four. Above-average, but not one of the rare classics to warrant a five. I try to give out less than a dozen fives per year if even that many.
sje46
+0 -0
Is a dozen a year what the bell curve warrants? I'm too lazy to do the math.
Is a dozen a year what the bell curve warrants? I'm too lazy to do the math.
belgand
+0 -0
It's not a strict curve.
It's not a strict curve.
valrus
+0 -0
It depends on what the mean and standard deviation are. Assuming a mean of 3 and standard deviation of 1, about 6.68% of strips should get a 5 (assuming that strips valued at 4.5 or higher earn a 5). If (and it seems to be a big if these days, no offense Onstad, we all appreciate the work you do here for free) Onstad posts five comics a week, that means about seventeen 5's per year.
I used this site for my Z-value by the way. In case anyone cares.
It depends on what the mean and standard deviation are. Assuming a mean of 3 and standard deviation of 1, about 6.68% of strips should get a 5 (assuming that strips valued at 4.5 or higher earn a 5). If (and it seems to be a big if these days, no offense Onstad, we all appreciate the work you do here for free) Onstad posts five comics a week, that means about seventeen 5's per year.
I used this site for my Z-value by the way. In case anyone cares.
biff
+0 -0
This assumes a symmetric bell curve. Which is good as far as it goes. But I think that the consensus is that the Average for Onstad strip would be Above Average , and therefore the mean would be above 3.
I certainly assume an average strip is more along the lines of a 4. But I have great admiration for the strip, especially in comparison to any other comic I know of, web or otherwise.
(Well, there are This Modern World , and Tom the Dancing Bug . But that's another story.)
But anyway, mean of 3, standard deviation of 1 is an OK way to look at it, but not the way I look at it.
This assumes a symmetric bell curve. Which is good as far as it goes. But I think that the consensus is that the Average for Onstad strip would be Above Average , and therefore the mean would be above 3.
I certainly assume an average strip is more along the lines of a 4. But I have great admiration for the strip, especially in comparison to any other comic I know of, web or otherwise.
(Well, there are This Modern World , and Tom the Dancing Bug . But that's another story.)
But anyway, mean of 3, standard deviation of 1 is an OK way to look at it, but not the way I look at it.
belgand
+0 -0
True, but you're still rating it in comparison to outside factors. They are not, realistically, in play here so they should be excluded. This is merely a subjective rating in reference to other Achewood strips. Thus the average rating should remain 3.
True, but you're still rating it in comparison to outside factors. They are not, realistically, in play here so they should be excluded. This is merely a subjective rating in reference to other Achewood strips. Thus the average rating should remain 3.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I've always rated it against my own perception of what is funny. A five is usually a strip that makes me laugh out loud more than once or has an extremely memorable and clever turn of phrase (as opposed to just the random metaphors that he'd been churning out lately). It's also usually a strip that I want to be able to easily access by looking at my top rated list, and one that more or less stands alone so that I could show it to people as an introduction. A four is a strip that makes me laugh, but is either way too contextual, or the laugh is of a lower intensity. I think that for most of 2003-2007 I rated most of the strips as 4 or 5, but I have no problem giving a strip a 1 either.
I've always rated it against my own perception of what is funny. A five is usually a strip that makes me laugh out loud more than once or has an extremely memorable and clever turn of phrase (as opposed to just the random metaphors that he'd been churning out lately). It's also usually a strip that I want to be able to easily access by looking at my top rated list, and one that more or less stands alone so that I could show it to people as an introduction. A four is a strip that makes me laugh, but is either way too contextual, or the laugh is of a lower intensity. I think that for most of 2003-2007 I rated most of the strips as 4 or 5, but I have no problem giving a strip a 1 either.
belgand
+0 -0
Very interesting. I seem to have a very different method of rating things than other people. I've noticed this on Netflix and such in the past.
I want them to conform to this bell curve concept. That most things start as average, but need to push themselves up or down to get higher ratings. This will, of course, be rarer and rarer the higher or lower it gets. Reaching the top of bottom requires a lot more effort and should designate something as the absolute cream-of-the-crop and not something to be seen often.
Liking something isn't enough, to me, to make it 5. I have to like it significantly above the things I rate 4 and so on. As before, all ratings start at 3 and move from there.
The biggest cause of conflict for this is in something like Netflix where your ratings will be used to make recommendations. If I rate a film a 3 I still probably want it recommended to me. It might be a personal favorite even, but it's not great.
Very interesting. I seem to have a very different method of rating things than other people. I've noticed this on Netflix and such in the past.
I want them to conform to this bell curve concept. That most things start as average, but need to push themselves up or down to get higher ratings. This will, of course, be rarer and rarer the higher or lower it gets. Reaching the top of bottom requires a lot more effort and should designate something as the absolute cream-of-the-crop and not something to be seen often.
Liking something isn't enough, to me, to make it 5. I have to like it significantly above the things I rate 4 and so on. As before, all ratings start at 3 and move from there.
The biggest cause of conflict for this is in something like Netflix where your ratings will be used to make recommendations. If I rate a film a 3 I still probably want it recommended to me. It might be a personal favorite even, but it's not great.
stereo
+0 -0
I think if the intended use of ratings is to suggest films to you, you should judge entirely by how much you like it, not how "good" it is. It's not really clear what the ratings here are for, so anything works.
I rate strips if I need more lames. Doesn't happen much so I've probably only rated a couple dozen.
I think if the intended use of ratings is to suggest films to you, you should judge entirely by how much you like it, not how "good" it is. It's not really clear what the ratings here are for, so anything works.
I rate strips if I need more lames. Doesn't happen much so I've probably only rated a couple dozen.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Like I said, I think the main purpose of ratings here is to keep track of the best strips and be able to easily access them from your profile. There are far too many good ones to remember, even if you restrict yourself to the very best. Hence, the rating system.
It's also used to suggest strips to others via the "Highest Rated" section, but I don't care much about that, especially seeing as how people put things like the wedding strip up there, making it essentially useless for introductory purposes.
Like I said, I think the main purpose of ratings here is to keep track of the best strips and be able to easily access them from your profile. There are far too many good ones to remember, even if you restrict yourself to the very best. Hence, the rating system.
It's also used to suggest strips to others via the "Highest Rated" section, but I don't care much about that, especially seeing as how people put things like the wedding strip up there, making it essentially useless for introductory purposes.
valrus
+0 -0
Clearly what we need is for each AssetBar user to fill out a questionnaire indicating how they think the rating system should be used and scale scores to a baseline set of criteria accordingly.
Clearly what we need is for each AssetBar user to fill out a questionnaire indicating how they think the rating system should be used and scale scores to a baseline set of criteria accordingly.
biff
+0 -0
I freely admit my bias.
And I will continue to allow it to influence my ratings.
I freely admit my bias.
And I will continue to allow it to influence my ratings.
echidnaboy
+1 -1
Two excellent, stand-alone strips in a row.
So this is what happens when you doubt Onstad. He makes you wrong .
Two excellent, stand-alone strips in a row.
So this is what happens when you doubt Onstad. He makes you wrong .
lynnym
+0 -0
jesus ray do not make your friend do the dirty work you know roast beef has very little emotional stability!
jesus ray do not make your friend do the dirty work you know roast beef has very little emotional stability!
achilleselbow
+3 -0
This is another comic that made me hate Ray. I had friends like this in middle school - the cool older kid who knows that a dork like you is just so honored to hang out with him that you can be talked into doing all kinds of stupid shit that gets you and not him into trouble, or lending him things only to later hear some wildly improbable excuse for why they are not given back. The difference is that they're still living in the same shitty town and I am no longer friends with them.
This is another comic that made me hate Ray. I had friends like this in middle school - the cool older kid who knows that a dork like you is just so honored to hang out with him that you can be talked into doing all kinds of stupid shit that gets you and not him into trouble, or lending him things only to later hear some wildly improbable excuse for why they are not given back. The difference is that they're still living in the same shitty town and I am no longer friends with them.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
... or they are a Doctor in the same suburb as you are and have a gorgeous wife and seem really quite happy because in the end they came around but they never apologise...
... or they are a Doctor in the same suburb as you are and have a gorgeous wife and seem really quite happy because in the end they came around but they never apologise...
belgand
+0 -0
I loaned out my copy of Mario Kart for the SNES to a friend of that sort of friend. It never came back. Interestingly enough the games I had received in collateral for this loan were Final Fantasy II and Ys III: Wanderers From Ys. FFII is now worth a lot more and holds up as the much better game while I play more recent Mario Kart games. Truly I made out in the end. I'm still a bit upset about it though. I mean, I even have the Mario Kart box and manual sitting in my parent's basement.
I loaned out my copy of Mario Kart for the SNES to a friend of that sort of friend. It never came back. Interestingly enough the games I had received in collateral for this loan were Final Fantasy II and Ys III: Wanderers From Ys. FFII is now worth a lot more and holds up as the much better game while I play more recent Mario Kart games. Truly I made out in the end. I'm still a bit upset about it though. I mean, I even have the Mario Kart box and manual sitting in my parent's basement.
lynnym
+0 -0
I lost a few things to a friend. It's such a strange predicament. But yeah, Ray drives me nuts in this strip.
I lost a few things to a friend. It's such a strange predicament. But yeah, Ray drives me nuts in this strip.
aliiis
+0 -0
oh gosh finally a comic I can five! for beef's perfect portrayal of utter despair in the last two panels if for nothing else*
*it was for something else
oh gosh finally a comic I can five! for beef's perfect portrayal of utter despair in the last two panels if for nothing else*
*it was for something else
falseprophet
+0 -0
This would have been so much easier if Roast Beef had used my special device.
This would have been so much easier if Roast Beef had used my special device.
falseprophet
+0 -0
You want to know what it is?
You want to know what it is?
falseprophet
+9 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+0 -0
That'll be $5.
That'll be $5.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Because of Assetbar, I might actually stop crying every time I see that scene.
Because of Assetbar, I might actually stop crying every time I see that scene.
falseprophet
+0 -0
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
stereo
+0 -0
Given that Beef was born Cassandra, suddenly I am wondering what age the truth was discovered.
Did Ray date Beef?
Given that Beef was born Cassandra, suddenly I am wondering what age the truth was discovered.
Did Ray date Beef?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You reeeeeally want Manflesh to come back don't you?
You reeeeeally want Manflesh to come back don't you?
hateandwar
+0 -0
I know I do.
I know I do.
stereo
+0 -0
I'll be honest, I saved a couple of his better posts and I masturbate to them.
I'll be honest, I saved a couple of his better posts and I masturbate to them.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
Next time, don't be honest. Lie.
GODAMMIT!
Next time, don't be honest. Lie.
GODAMMIT!
deadpool
+1 -0
I don't even post things here anymore, I just give people chubbies.
I don't even post things here anymore, I just give people chubbies.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Whenever I say that it starts me posting again.
Whenever I say that it starts me posting again.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
lies
lies
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I just realized that Ray is probably trying to say "ex post facto".
I just realized that Ray is probably trying to say "ex post facto".
mattylite
+0 -0
I can't hear that phrase anymore without thinking of "sharper than most / cut with exacto / gone is all good / ex post facto"
I can't hear that phrase anymore without thinking of "sharper than most / cut with exacto / gone is all good / ex post facto"
rowboat
+0 -0
I didn't recognize that reference, but I immediately assumed that it was the GZA for some reason. Imagine my surprise upon looking it up and finding that it is just about as far from the GZA as possible.
I didn't recognize that reference, but I immediately assumed that it was the GZA for some reason. Imagine my surprise upon looking it up and finding that it is just about as far from the GZA as possible.
celesticles
+1 -0
BEN is an alright issue, last month was STEVE, and his parties are much better.
BEN is an alright issue, last month was STEVE, and his parties are much better.
puguglypress
+0 -0
At first, this strip makes you think, "Damn, Ray was a really mean friend to put Beef in those kinds of situations".
Then you realize, if Beef had just been left to his own devices, he'd just be spending all day looking at the ceiling, following the cracks with his eyes, thinking about his mom or something.
Ray is obviously the only reason Beef was able to leave the house as a child.
At first, this strip makes you think, "Damn, Ray was a really mean friend to put Beef in those kinds of situations".
Then you realize, if Beef had just been left to his own devices, he'd just be spending all day looking at the ceiling, following the cracks with his eyes, thinking about his mom or something.
Ray is obviously the only reason Beef was able to leave the house as a child.
celesticles
+0 -0
Ray is a wonderful man!
Ray is a wonderful man!
lateadopter
+0 -0
I wouldn't go that far.
I wouldn't go that far.
celesticles
+0 -0
Haha, I was referring to the alt text on this strip.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08112005
Haha, I was referring to the alt text on this strip.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08112005
achilleselbow
+7 -0
That is a bullshit way of looking at things. It's like when an extremely awkward and introverted friend of mine (even more so than me) started going out with this artsy girl who seemed perfect except she ended up cheating on him like 10 times and fucking with his head before flying away like the carefree butterfly that she is, leaving him a broken shell of a man, and in response to him bitching about it on livejournal, a friend of hers informed him that he should be happy just to have had her come into his life, however briefly.
Fuck that shit. Maybe a life spent looking at the ceiling is better. At least the ceiling will always be there.
That is a bullshit way of looking at things. It's like when an extremely awkward and introverted friend of mine (even more so than me) started going out with this artsy girl who seemed perfect except she ended up cheating on him like 10 times and fucking with his head before flying away like the carefree butterfly that she is, leaving him a broken shell of a man, and in response to him bitching about it on livejournal, a friend of hers informed him that he should be happy just to have had her come into his life, however briefly.
Fuck that shit. Maybe a life spent looking at the ceiling is better. At least the ceiling will always be there.
daidai
+0 -0
This is something that a talking depressed penis wearing glasses would say. You get a chubby for this.
(It should be noted that I am referring to achilleselbow's avatar, and that I am not calling achilleselbow a talking depressed penis wearing glasses.
Not that I have a problem with talking depressed penises wearing glasses. To each his own.)
This is something that a talking depressed penis wearing glasses would say. You get a chubby for this.
(It should be noted that I am referring to achilleselbow's avatar, and that I am not calling achilleselbow a talking depressed penis wearing glasses.
Not that I have a problem with talking depressed penises wearing glasses. To each his own.)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Really, you would have been right either way.
Really, you would have been right either way.
sje46
+1 -0
That is actually a photograph of him, douche .
That is actually a photograph of him, douche .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
THAT IS HIS FACE.
THAT IS HIS FACE.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HOLY CHRIST IS THAT AN ALIVE TALKING PENIS.
HOLY CHRIST IS THAT AN ALIVE TALKING PENIS.
celesticles
+1 -0
"Artsy" girls are the hipster trash scum of the earth. I go to art school and I see a ton of these talentless immature idiot harpies. They wouldn't know art if it took a lighter and burned up one of their ham-fisted, pseudo-symbolic piece of garbage "art pieces" in front of their homely faces.
I hope your friend feels better, no one deserves a chick like that.
"Artsy" girls are the hipster trash scum of the earth. I go to art school and I see a ton of these talentless immature idiot harpies. They wouldn't know art if it took a lighter and burned up one of their ham-fisted, pseudo-symbolic piece of garbage "art pieces" in front of their homely faces.
I hope your friend feels better, no one deserves a chick like that.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Celesticles!
Whatpyro] news from burn it down, babay ART SCHOOL?
Celesticles!
What
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Aw man but artsy girls are so hot. They've got dyed hair and tattoos and piercings and whatnot and some of them look like suicide girls .
Aw man but artsy girls are so hot. They've got dyed hair and tattoos and piercings and whatnot and some of them look like suicide girls .
irondave
+1 -0
Man, that's quite a rant. Cathartic?
...CathARTic?
Man, that's quite a rant. Cathartic?
...CathARTic?
drskradley
+1 -0
Are you better, as an artsy boy?
Are you better, as an artsy boy?
qingofchina
+0 -0
Man you are making me depressed.
Man you are making me depressed.
celesticles
+0 -0
Yeah, sorry, I've got a whole schtick about quirky girls too.
Yeah, sorry, I've got a whole schtick about quirky girls too.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh, the girl in question was most definitely quirky as well. She used to add a syllable to her last name to make her first and last names rhyme when she wrote them on worksheets in elementary school, and whenever she ordered a smiley face pancake at IHOP she would ask them to make it into a sad face. Please tell us your feelings on the subject.
Oh, the girl in question was most definitely quirky as well. She used to add a syllable to her last name to make her first and last names rhyme when she wrote them on worksheets in elementary school, and whenever she ordered a smiley face pancake at IHOP she would ask them to make it into a sad face. Please tell us your feelings on the subject.
daedala_x
+0 -0
everybody does shit like that in elementary school. it's only when you select random occurrences of them and link them together in flowery prose that they assume a quirky character in retrospect.
as for the pancake thing-- my feelings on Amelie are con. also, people like this tend to be non-sarcastic. i find that offensive and suffocating.
everybody does shit like that in elementary school. it's only when you select random occurrences of them and link them together in flowery prose that they assume a quirky character in retrospect.
as for the pancake thing-- my feelings on Amelie are con. also, people like this tend to be non-sarcastic. i find that offensive and suffocating.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
I have recently done away with sarcasm in favour of sincerity.
How does this make you feeeeeeeeeeel?
I have recently done away with sarcasm in favour of sincerity.
How does this make you feeeeeeeeeeel?
wozzeck
+1 -1
I never did shit like that in elementary school.
I did once kick another boy in the face until his cheek split open, though!
I never did shit like that in elementary school.
I did once kick another boy in the face until his cheek split open, though!
rowboat
+4 -0
Mr. Wozzeck, how many kicks does it take to get to the center of some kid's face?
Let's find out.
One!
TwoHOOOOO!
Three!
[snap]
Three.
Mr. Wozzeck, how many kicks does it take to get to the center of some kid's face?
Let's find out.
One!
TwoHOOOOO!
Three!
[snap]
Three.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I was convinced from 1st grade on to around 4th that I actually had occasionally manifesting magic powers, and that I was under constant surveillance by Things and Presences.
It was a lot like the Truman Show, except I brought insects back to life after killing them.
I had some weird ideas about life back then.
I was convinced from 1st grade on to around 4th that I actually had occasionally manifesting magic powers, and that I was under constant surveillance by Things and Presences.
It was a lot like the Truman Show, except I brought insects back to life after killing them.
I had some weird ideas about life back then.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Chubbied because chubbying conspicuously insane women is what I do, and few insanities are more conspicuous than an Old Testament God complex.
Chubbied because chubbying conspicuously insane women is what I do, and few insanities are more conspicuous than an Old Testament God complex.
stereo
+1 -0
People thought I had a facial tic in grade 5 cause I used my cheek to push my glasses up my face. I think eventually someone asked me about it and I stopped doing it.
And the obvious tradition. Cried for every "speech" I made from grade 5 to 8. I guess it's better than wetting your pants.
People thought I had a facial tic in grade 5 cause I used my cheek to push my glasses up my face. I think eventually someone asked me about it and I stopped doing it.
And the obvious tradition. Cried for every "speech" I made from grade 5 to 8. I guess it's better than wetting your pants.
stereo
+1 -0
I am so socially inept, I didn't realize this post is irrelevant and uninteresting. Sorry.
I am so socially inept, I didn't realize this post is irrelevant and uninteresting. Sorry.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
why don't you just cry and tic about it
...nerd
sorry stereo i thought maybe you'd enjoy the abuse (is this what women like????)
:0) :0)
why don't you just cry and tic about it
...nerd
sorry stereo i thought maybe you'd enjoy the abuse (is this what women like????)
:0) :0)
sje46
+0 -0
HOLY CHRIST you know Christina Martina?!?!
HOLY CHRIST you know Christina Martina?!?!
celesticles
+1 -0
I%u2019ve always hated the fuck out of %u201Cquirky%u201D girls. The kind that will do stupid, inane things just to seem spontaneous and interesting. They lack any real personality, investing their entire being into the manic love of sprinkles on ice cream or abrupt changes in the subject of a conversation. They are nothing short of annoying, like a bird that darts around the rafters, doing nothing but chitter and shit on the carpet. And for the life of you, you can%u2019t kill it, whether it be social mores or the fact you can%u2019t catch the little fucktwit. I%u2019m seeing patterns, and I love to generalize. %u201CNo, Zack, she%u2019s different from other girls!%u201D She is the same. Every quirky dumbass, every shallow whore, every icy bitch, every attention ravenous little shit. I%u2019ve heard too much and seen too much from the people around me. I%u2019m tired of the shrieking quirky dildoes and sloppy hipster half-wits. Now, before you pseudo-feminists start your crusade, I'm generalizing, I'm aware of the few unique people and I know personalities differ. For all of you out there, hold on to yourselves.
I%u2019ve always hated the fuck out of %u201Cquirky%u201D girls. The kind that will do stupid, inane things just to seem spontaneous and interesting. They lack any real personality, investing their entire being into the manic love of sprinkles on ice cream or abrupt changes in the subject of a conversation. They are nothing short of annoying, like a bird that darts around the rafters, doing nothing but chitter and shit on the carpet. And for the life of you, you can%u2019t kill it, whether it be social mores or the fact you can%u2019t catch the little fucktwit. I%u2019m seeing patterns, and I love to generalize. %u201CNo, Zack, she%u2019s different from other girls!%u201D She is the same. Every quirky dumbass, every shallow whore, every icy bitch, every attention ravenous little shit. I%u2019ve heard too much and seen too much from the people around me. I%u2019m tired of the shrieking quirky dildoes and sloppy hipster half-wits. Now, before you pseudo-feminists start your crusade, I'm generalizing, I'm aware of the few unique people and I know personalities differ. For all of you out there, hold on to yourselves.
celesticles
+0 -1
Sorry about the weird symbols and shit, I copy-pasted it from this blog I have with some friends because I didn't feel like writing it again.
Sorry about the weird symbols and shit, I copy-pasted it from this blog I have with some friends because I didn't feel like writing it again.
celesticles
+0 -1
I%u2019ve always hated the fuck out of %u201Cquirky%u201D girls. The kind that will do stupid, inane things just to seem spontaneous and interesting. They lack any real personality, investing their entire being into the manic love of sprinkles on ice cream or abrupt changes in the subject of a conversation. They are nothing short of annoying, like a bird that darts around the rafters, doing nothing but chitter and shit on the carpet. And for the life of you, you can%u2019t kill it, whether it be social mores or the fact you can%u2019t catch the little fucktwit. I%u2019m seeing patterns, and I love to generalize. %u201CNo, Zack, she%u2019s different from other girls!%u201D She is the same. Every quirky dumbass, every shallow whore, every icy bitch, every attention ravenous little shit. I%u2019ve heard too much and seen too much from the people around me. I%u2019m tired of the shrieking quirky dildoes and sloppy hipster half-wits. Now, before you pseudo-feminists start your crusade, I'm generalizing, I'm aware of the few unique people and I know personalities differ. For all of you out there, hold on to yourselves.
I%u2019ve always hated the fuck out of %u201Cquirky%u201D girls. The kind that will do stupid, inane things just to seem spontaneous and interesting. They lack any real personality, investing their entire being into the manic love of sprinkles on ice cream or abrupt changes in the subject of a conversation. They are nothing short of annoying, like a bird that darts around the rafters, doing nothing but chitter and shit on the carpet. And for the life of you, you can%u2019t kill it, whether it be social mores or the fact you can%u2019t catch the little fucktwit. I%u2019m seeing patterns, and I love to generalize. %u201CNo, Zack, she%u2019s different from other girls!%u201D She is the same. Every quirky dumbass, every shallow whore, every icy bitch, every attention ravenous little shit. I%u2019ve heard too much and seen too much from the people around me. I%u2019m tired of the shrieking quirky dildoes and sloppy hipster half-wits. Now, before you pseudo-feminists start your crusade, I'm generalizing, I'm aware of the few unique people and I know personalities differ. For all of you out there, hold on to yourselves.
celesticles
+0 -0
Damnit, I give up.
Lame these if you want.
Damnit, I give up.
Lame these if you want.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
it's okay, i'm simply mad for percentage signs!
Every time I see one, I just go uber-zany ! I run around in a little circle, and I take off my shirt!
Then I start whooping and dancing, laughing the whole way until I just fall into a heap, laughing with Zack Braff!
it's okay, i'm simply mad for percentage signs!
Every time I see one, I just go uber-zany ! I run around in a little circle, and I take off my shirt!
Then I start whooping and dancing, laughing the whole way until I just fall into a heap, laughing with Zack Braff!
celesticles
+0 -0
Haha, yeah I should have just typed it, here's the link to the actual post:
https://statevectorcollapse.blogspot.com/2008/11/hello-world.html
Haha, yeah I should have just typed it, here's the link to the actual post:
https://statevectorcollapse.blogspot.com/2008/11/hello-world.html
wozzeck
+0 -0
I have a better one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z50p2v5Of0&fmt=18
I have a better one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z50p2v5Of0&fmt=18
celesticles
+0 -0
God damn!
God damn!
flynn
+1 -0
needs less blog.
needs less blog.
celesticles
+0 -0
So does everything.
So does everything.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Needs more salt.
Needs more salt.
rowboat
+0 -0
Is that your way of saying that you're going to jack off to his blog?
Is that your way of saying that you're going to jack off to his blog?
barrymorefm
+0 -0
you sound like nice pete
you sound like nice pete
drskradley
+0 -0
I hope you well in all your attempts at romance, son.
I hope you well in all your attempts at romance, son.
puguglypress
+0 -0
When we're staring at that ceiling for the last time, we'll probably wish that we had done something else with our lives.
When we're staring at that ceiling for the last time, we'll probably wish that we had done something else with our lives.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Maybe your ceiling, rich boy! Roast Beef could've looked forward to a life of counting the needles in the haystacks he slept in.
And, of course, dreaming; dreaming is free.
After all, when he met Ray at the restaurant, he could tell he was no debutante. Or the male equivalent, i guess
Maybe your ceiling, rich boy! Roast Beef could've looked forward to a life of counting the needles in the haystacks he slept in.
And, of course, dreaming; dreaming is free.
After all, when he met Ray at the restaurant, he could tell he was no debutante. Or the male equivalent, i guess
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Debutaint?
Debutaint?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Pick him up, dust him off.
Hearts are made to be broken.
Lies of love fall artlessly,
That should have gone unspoken.
Then both of you are goink out and gettink so robot-shitfaced.
Pick him up, dust him off.
Hearts are made to be broken.
Lies of love fall artlessly,
That should have gone unspoken.
Then both of you are goink out and gettink so robot-shitfaced.
daedala_x
+0 -1
uh, this has nothing to do with shoplifting nudie mags? nobody told your friend to date this chick, or to remain a broken shell of a man after her departure. if it were me, i'd get the fuck over it cuz i wouldn't want to be with someone so morally bankrupt as to cheat on me repeatedly anyway. that is an immature child of a girl whom you should feel sorry for, not the other way around. that being said, there is also something wrong with your friend in refusing to get over her. in fact, he seems like the self-pitying type who loves being victimized and hangs onto it as both the cause and justification of his miserable life. i just can't bring myself to feel sorry for people like that. there's a whole world out there, or something. if you want to sit at home and cry over spilled milk, that's your problem.
uh, this has nothing to do with shoplifting nudie mags? nobody told your friend to date this chick, or to remain a broken shell of a man after her departure. if it were me, i'd get the fuck over it cuz i wouldn't want to be with someone so morally bankrupt as to cheat on me repeatedly anyway. that is an immature child of a girl whom you should feel sorry for, not the other way around. that being said, there is also something wrong with your friend in refusing to get over her. in fact, he seems like the self-pitying type who loves being victimized and hangs onto it as both the cause and justification of his miserable life. i just can't bring myself to feel sorry for people like that. there's a whole world out there, or something. if you want to sit at home and cry over spilled milk, that's your problem.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays! My point was only that just because someone's life would have been shitty without you doesn't make you blameless for anything you do to them.
Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays! My point was only that just because someone's life would have been shitty without you doesn't make you blameless for anything you do to them.
daedala_x
+0 -0
yea but your analogy fails because ray was trying to help beef out with a cool thing and beef messed it up and got faced with consequences whereas in your example the girl might have thought she was helping your friend out in dating him but certainly did not think she was helping him out in breaking up with him. ray was completely well intentioned the entire time, is all i'm saying.
yea but your analogy fails because ray was trying to help beef out with a cool thing and beef messed it up and got faced with consequences whereas in your example the girl might have thought she was helping your friend out in dating him but certainly did not think she was helping him out in breaking up with him. ray was completely well intentioned the entire time, is all i'm saying.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No way. Ray was getting Beef to do the dirty work while he 'kept watch' and then he split and abandoned him at the first sign of danger. Plus Beef didn't even wanna do it but he probably thought that if he didn't Ray would tell everyone at school that he was a pussy (which he probably would).
No way. Ray was getting Beef to do the dirty work while he 'kept watch' and then he split and abandoned him at the first sign of danger. Plus Beef didn't even wanna do it but he probably thought that if he didn't Ray would tell everyone at school that he was a pussy (which he probably would).
daedala_x
+0 -0
huh. i totally read it as something ray had already successfully done and was introducing it to beef as fun times. personal bias i guess. but in that case, it's even less like your story. what dirty work was the girl using your friend for?
huh. i totally read it as something ray had already successfully done and was introducing it to beef as fun times. personal bias i guess. but in that case, it's even less like your story. what dirty work was the girl using your friend for?
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, Ray isn't trying to dick over Beef. He tells him to get out of there and before that to hurry up. Beef just freezes up because this is not his sort of thing and he's nervous.
I find it interesting that you're seeing this sinister undercurrent to all of this. This is very revealing. Is it time for the sharing?
Yeah, Ray isn't trying to dick over Beef. He tells him to get out of there and before that to hurry up. Beef just freezes up because this is not his sort of thing and he's nervous.
I find it interesting that you're seeing this sinister undercurrent to all of this. This is very revealing. Is it time for the sharing?
daidai
+0 -0
achilleselbow does not trust ray. we must find why.
achilleselbow does not trust ray. we must find why.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think I assumed that because of Beef saying "why couldn't you do this part". That suggests a division of labor, and Ray getting the less dangerous end of the deal. I assumed it meant Ray was getting Beef to steal for both of them. I suppose it could be that Ray had already done it alone and was just helping Beef get his, but then I don't see Beef being so arrogant as to say that.
I think I assumed that because of Beef saying "why couldn't you do this part". That suggests a division of labor, and Ray getting the less dangerous end of the deal. I assumed it meant Ray was getting Beef to steal for both of them. I suppose it could be that Ray had already done it alone and was just helping Beef get his, but then I don't see Beef being so arrogant as to say that.
belgand
+0 -0
We must now hear tales of your own personal Ray and how he lead you to this place. We see amusing youthful hijinks and you are describing a tale of how the more confidant, wealthy cat is manipulating the weaker-willed one into doing his bidding and suffering all the consequences.
I think, if anything, it's more about how everything always comes up Ray, but Beef always gets it the worst. He doesn't just get caught, he gets caught and then only gets let off due to pity and understanding of a sort that he did not intend.
It's not so much how they treat each other as how the universe treats them.
We must now hear tales of your own personal Ray and how he lead you to this place. We see amusing youthful hijinks and you are describing a tale of how the more confidant, wealthy cat is manipulating the weaker-willed one into doing his bidding and suffering all the consequences.
I think, if anything, it's more about how everything always comes up Ray, but Beef always gets it the worst. He doesn't just get caught, he gets caught and then only gets let off due to pity and understanding of a sort that he did not intend.
It's not so much how they treat each other as how the universe treats them.
spinynorman
+3 -0
One time while drunk with a Ray-ish friend of mine he wanted to break into an apartment to rob it. I wisely skipped out, and was pretty mad about it after.
Another Ray-ish friend stole a fire extinguisher in a fancy downtown hotel and ran around spraying it, which set off about four floors of fire alarms. He had basically forced a rich kid friend of ours to rent the hotel room for us. Previous to the fire alarms he took some incredibly drunk girl and fucked her in the kid's bed, and then when she was too drunk to walk he just picked her up and left her in the hallways outside the elevator. After the fire alarms I could tell things were escalating pretty quick so I vamoosed at midnight. I'm still pretty surprised I didn't get arrested.
This is the same dude who cheated on his girlfriend with this one older girl who lived in the same building as him. I didn't know this, so I was talking to the girl one day and I discovered a mutual love of Tom Waits, and the friend said, "Hey, maybe if you're nice, [Girl's Name] here will lay you," and she laughed and said, "Oh, why would I want to sleep with anyone who doesn't have your pretty face?" That was pretty great for the old ego.
Then there was a kid in my neighborhood who would always act all friendly and tell you about all the cool stuff he'd show you, and he'd lure you out to the creek and the cool stuff would invariable killing, capturing, or torturing animals. At the very least it involved playing with guns. I think I went with him twice before I got it into my 11 year old head that maybe this dude is not the guy to hang out with.
Basically what I'm telling you is that at a very young age I figured out that 80% of most people, or at the very least guys, are fucking horrible. I don't know if having girls as kids are any better, but that's what I want. No boys. Boys are monsters, including me.
One time while drunk with a Ray-ish friend of mine he wanted to break into an apartment to rob it. I wisely skipped out, and was pretty mad about it after.
Another Ray-ish friend stole a fire extinguisher in a fancy downtown hotel and ran around spraying it, which set off about four floors of fire alarms. He had basically forced a rich kid friend of ours to rent the hotel room for us. Previous to the fire alarms he took some incredibly drunk girl and fucked her in the kid's bed, and then when she was too drunk to walk he just picked her up and left her in the hallways outside the elevator. After the fire alarms I could tell things were escalating pretty quick so I vamoosed at midnight. I'm still pretty surprised I didn't get arrested.
This is the same dude who cheated on his girlfriend with this one older girl who lived in the same building as him. I didn't know this, so I was talking to the girl one day and I discovered a mutual love of Tom Waits, and the friend said, "Hey, maybe if you're nice, [Girl's Name] here will lay you," and she laughed and said, "Oh, why would I want to sleep with anyone who doesn't have your pretty face?" That was pretty great for the old ego.
Then there was a kid in my neighborhood who would always act all friendly and tell you about all the cool stuff he'd show you, and he'd lure you out to the creek and the cool stuff would invariable killing, capturing, or torturing animals. At the very least it involved playing with guns. I think I went with him twice before I got it into my 11 year old head that maybe this dude is not the guy to hang out with.
Basically what I'm telling you is that at a very young age I figured out that 80% of most people, or at the very least guys, are fucking horrible. I don't know if having girls as kids are any better, but that's what I want. No boys. Boys are monsters, including me.
belgand
+0 -0
None of those guys sound so much like Ray as some sort of Lyle-Todd amalgam albeit with their shit perhaps slightly more together.
Actually, I'm gonna call it as Todd, Lyle, and Nice Pete in that order.
None of those guys sound so much like Ray as some sort of Lyle-Todd amalgam albeit with their shit perhaps slightly more together.
Actually, I'm gonna call it as Todd, Lyle, and Nice Pete in that order.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You wonder a bit about Onstad's direction with that many losers and a psychopath thrown in, where the robots are the most well-adjusted.
I watched that Ann Arbor interview with him and was wondering if anyone had the guts to ask him some hardball questions about Nice Pete and those creeps with Circus Penis, Blister, Rod all in the bullpen.
I mean, sure, it's not Garfield or Family Circus.
You wonder a bit about Onstad's direction with that many losers and a psychopath thrown in, where the robots are the most well-adjusted.
I watched that Ann Arbor interview with him and was wondering if anyone had the guts to ask him some hardball questions about Nice Pete and those creeps with Circus Penis, Blister, Rod all in the bullpen.
I mean, sure, it's not Garfield or Family Circus.
rowboat
+0 -0
Circus Penis seemed like a pretty good guy to me.
Circus Penis seemed like a pretty good guy to me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He hasn't had that much exposure.
He hasn't had that much exposure.
sje46
+0 -0
It's funny because he's a porn star.
It's funny because he's a porn star.
sje46
+0 -0
Quote:
Ray may be a douche sometimes, but he would not do this.
Quote:
Ray would tell everyone at school that he was a pussy (which he probably would).
Ray may be a douche sometimes, but he would not do this.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was thinking of this , and that strip where the other kids made fun of Beef after baseball practice and Ray participated (or at least didn't stick up for him). Young Ray generally seems like a selfish rich brat, lacking the generosity and devotion to his friends that adult Ray has.
I was thinking of this , and that strip where the other kids made fun of Beef after baseball practice and Ray participated (or at least didn't stick up for him). Young Ray generally seems like a selfish rich brat, lacking the generosity and devotion to his friends that adult Ray has.
sje46
+0 -0
You have a point, but I doubt he would go so far as to purposely embarrass the man publicly. Or at least, in such a way.
You have a point, but I doubt he would go so far as to purposely embarrass the man publicly. Or at least, in such a way.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You seem a little overly surprised that ~10 year old male friends might be dicks to each other. This is pretty much the thing of ~10 year old boys and their friends.
You seem a little overly surprised that ~10 year old male friends might be dicks to each other. This is pretty much the thing of ~10 year old boys and their friends.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Seriously. I taunt and abuse my friends now. They do it to me too. It's this fun little game we play. The only difference made in growing up, is that back in the day we would do it much harder around girls to "impress" them. Now we couldn't give fewer shits what women think of our childish ways.
Seriously. I taunt and abuse my friends now. They do it to me too. It's this fun little game we play. The only difference made in growing up, is that back in the day we would do it much harder around girls to "impress" them. Now we couldn't give fewer shits what women think of our childish ways.
rowboat
+2 -0
Man, that shit's soft. Mind-bending, bone-crushing, relationship-related Chernobyls do a milquetoast good! I was a totally spineless teenager. Over the next decade, a few real fucking dragon ladies had their way with me and totally burned me down. But when I recovered I was basically the King of Life!
Seriously - it's important to be destroyed by ladies. The crueler the better. It's the only way to ever truly understand a good one when you find her.
Man, that shit's soft. Mind-bending, bone-crushing, relationship-related Chernobyls do a milquetoast good! I was a totally spineless teenager. Over the next decade, a few real fucking dragon ladies had their way with me and totally burned me down. But when I recovered I was basically the King of Life!
Seriously - it's important to be destroyed by ladies. The crueler the better. It's the only way to ever truly understand a good one when you find her.
daedala_x
+14 -0
agreed. i had a best friend like that who put me in Situations but without whom i might have ended up strictly studious and hell of fob. shoplifting was a particularly cherished past-time of ours. her all wearing big jncos and stuffing into her socks vampirella comics, blue seed vhs's, whole lotions from bath and body works. me all wearing a big jacket stuffing mad gelly pens up the sleeves and bad religion cds in the inner chest pockets. coming home and unloading our loot, trading shit, then baking a pizza and watching the x-files when it wasn't a goddamn soap opera. fourth, fifth, and sixth grade man. the golden age before i got depression.
after that it was just all oh my god what am i doing about these boobs and uh i think i'm kinda overweight because i can't buy jeans that fit right and everytime i go see my grandparents in china everyone is all "you look so healthy ", all "what do they feed you there?", all "you eat lots of pizza and cheeseburgers everyday, don't you?" and i'm all thinking if i wear really loose shirts nobody will notice i have boobs but oh noes! there's gym class and we have to change in front of each other and i just about died when i told my mom i needed to buy a bra it was kind of like saying to her i need a bra because i have boobs and i have boobs because i am eventually going to have sex and bring dishonor to our entire family i hope you are ok with that mom, sorry.
agreed. i had a best friend like that who put me in Situations but without whom i might have ended up strictly studious and hell of fob. shoplifting was a particularly cherished past-time of ours. her all wearing big jncos and stuffing into her socks vampirella comics, blue seed vhs's, whole lotions from bath and body works. me all wearing a big jacket stuffing mad gelly pens up the sleeves and bad religion cds in the inner chest pockets. coming home and unloading our loot, trading shit, then baking a pizza and watching the x-files when it wasn't a goddamn soap opera. fourth, fifth, and sixth grade man. the golden age before i got depression.
after that it was just all oh my god what am i doing about these boobs and uh i think i'm kinda overweight because i can't buy jeans that fit right and everytime i go see my grandparents in china everyone is all "you look so healthy ", all "what do they feed you there?", all "you eat lots of pizza and cheeseburgers everyday, don't you?" and i'm all thinking if i wear really loose shirts nobody will notice i have boobs but oh noes! there's gym class and we have to change in front of each other and i just about died when i told my mom i needed to buy a bra it was kind of like saying to her i need a bra because i have boobs and i have boobs because i am eventually going to have sex and bring dishonor to our entire family i hope you are ok with that mom, sorry.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is a lie, everyone knows Asian girls don't have boobs.
This is a lie, everyone knows Asian girls don't have boobs.
wozzeck
+1 -0
Asian girls' breasts are full of devils, achilleselbow, and thus the most buxom are traditionally kept behind lock and key, and away from prying round-eyes.
Asian girls' breasts are full of devils, achilleselbow, and thus the most buxom are traditionally kept behind lock and key, and away from prying round-eyes.
telescreen
+0 -0
I had no friend of that kind, so maybe that's why I ended up studious etc, but I wonder if I am making up for high school with college
though i don't think drinking alone in a snowstorm is exactly crazy times
I had no friend of that kind, so maybe that's why I ended up studious etc, but I wonder if I am making up for high school with college
though i don't think drinking alone in a snowstorm is exactly crazy times
wozzeck
+0 -0
You had no friend with devil breasts? For shame!
You had no friend with devil breasts? For shame!
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
...girls read Vampirella comics?
Why?
...girls read Vampirella comics?
Why?
daedala_x
+0 -0
because she was hot? and a vampire?
young girls love looking at pretty women with pretty curves wearing pretty outfits. we practice drawing them and we pretend we are them. we also like mythological creatures and demons and blood and spells and storylines with sexual undertones.
because she was hot? and a vampire?
young girls love looking at pretty women with pretty curves wearing pretty outfits. we practice drawing them and we pretend we are them. we also like mythological creatures and demons and blood and spells and storylines with sexual undertones.
autrepoupee
+6 -0
the coven has informed me that you need to stop revealing our secrets
the coven has informed me that you need to stop revealing our secrets
aliiis
+0 -0
chubbies all round for this um series of comments thingy (I'm sure there is a name for that).
I also had major boobs denial, I was a total borderline C cup before I grudgingly agreed to get a bra.
chubbies all round for this um series of comments thingy (I'm sure there is a name for that).
I also had major boobs denial, I was a total borderline C cup before I grudgingly agreed to get a bra.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Shut up shut up shut up you're lying my therapist told me to block out delusions like this
Shut up shut up shut up you're lying my therapist told me to block out delusions like this
wozzeck
+0 -0
...and yet when you get married, they'll hold a pornographic film festival at the reception.
...and yet when you get married, they'll hold a pornographic film festival at the reception.
redphillip
+0 -0
I love Blue Seed! I'd have shoplifted them too, except that in my grade school years all there was was Hanna Barbera on Saturday TV and no home video of any kind to steal. Born too early, I guess.
I love Blue Seed! I'd have shoplifted them too, except that in my grade school years all there was was Hanna Barbera on Saturday TV and no home video of any kind to steal. Born too early, I guess.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yo, we had vinyl to jack, Phillip. All 3 bucks for a new Who or Wheels of Fire, or Hendrix release. Who had 3 bucks? Sometimes you did, sometimes you didn't.
Pfah! You kids. And it was snowing uphill both ways!
Pfah!
Yo, we had vinyl to jack, Phillip. All 3 bucks for a new Who or Wheels of Fire, or Hendrix release. Who had 3 bucks? Sometimes you did, sometimes you didn't.
Pfah! You kids. And it was snowing uphill both ways!
Pfah!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It was snowing uphill both ways when we were stealing things!
Both ways!
It was snowing uphill both ways when we were stealing things!
Both ways!
stereo
+1 -0
Some even got on the mayor!
Some even got on the mayor!
belgand
+0 -0
Except now those are classics and fully deserving of their status. Kids these days are just ripping off crap. Or downloading tons of it and not even bothering to listen to the terrible screeches that they have misappropriated.
I never shoplifted anything. I find it a bit disturbing that it is such a major part of various people's childhoods.
Except now those are classics and fully deserving of their status. Kids these days are just ripping off crap. Or downloading tons of it and not even bothering to listen to the terrible screeches that they have misappropriated.
I never shoplifted anything. I find it a bit disturbing that it is such a major part of various people's childhoods.
rowboat
+0 -0
Shoplifting basically defined me as a person till about age nine.
Shoplifting basically defined me as a person till about age nine.
belgand
+1 -0
The closest I ever came was going to a TCBY and trying a few samples of various flavors with no intent of buying any with a friend. Eventually they became dicks to us and demanded that we had to buy something. We only had something like twenty cents so they eventually let us pay for a single topping which was served to us in a small paper cup.
I still blame my friend because I wanted to take off as soon as I thought they were getting a bit suspicious and, unlike Ray, I was not yet smart enough to just run off and leave the bastard who couldn't be bothered to save himself.
Also, is that not the most dick thing ever to do to a young kid? I mean, yeah, we slightly abused the policy, but they were free samples! Wouldn't the normal thing to do be to just say that if we weren't going to buy anything they couldn't give us any more samples and maybe politely ask us to leave?
That was at least 15 years ago and I can still remember how humiliating and terrible that was. Way to go dicks. You've traumatized me sufficiently.
The closest I ever came was going to a TCBY and trying a few samples of various flavors with no intent of buying any with a friend. Eventually they became dicks to us and demanded that we had to buy something. We only had something like twenty cents so they eventually let us pay for a single topping which was served to us in a small paper cup.
I still blame my friend because I wanted to take off as soon as I thought they were getting a bit suspicious and, unlike Ray, I was not yet smart enough to just run off and leave the bastard who couldn't be bothered to save himself.
Also, is that not the most dick thing ever to do to a young kid? I mean, yeah, we slightly abused the policy, but they were free samples! Wouldn't the normal thing to do be to just say that if we weren't going to buy anything they couldn't give us any more samples and maybe politely ask us to leave?
That was at least 15 years ago and I can still remember how humiliating and terrible that was. Way to go dicks. You've traumatized me sufficiently.
daedala_x
+0 -0
why this doesn't have any chubbies is beyond me, i would give you 10 if i could. i laughed out loud at "served to us in a small paper cup" and i don't usually do that. you are more roast beef than roast beef himself, belgand. thank you.
why this doesn't have any chubbies is beyond me, i would give you 10 if i could. i laughed out loud at "served to us in a small paper cup" and i don't usually do that. you are more roast beef than roast beef himself, belgand. thank you.
zapatos
+0 -0
The person working was probably just fucking with you, he wanted to see what he could get away with selling to you for twenty cents.
The person working was probably just fucking with you, he wanted to see what he could get away with selling to you for twenty cents.
belgand
+0 -0
No, he yelled at us and demanded that we now had to buy something before we even tried to find out if we had any money or not.
I mean, if we just left the guy couldn't have done anything about it.
No, he yelled at us and demanded that we now had to buy something before we even tried to find out if we had any money or not.
I mean, if we just left the guy couldn't have done anything about it.
zapatos
+0 -0
He could have complained to his internet girlfriend.
He could have complained to his internet girlfriend.
rowboat
+0 -0
My friends and I memorized the weekly schedule of a mildly retarded girl who worked at the Ben Franklin store near my house. We would just rob her blind. She always smiled at us. A real smile. When she wasn't working we'd go over to the grocery store and steal glass bottles of just anything. We would then exit the store and proceed to smash the bottles against the side of the place. We never used what we stole unless it was candy.
When I think back on all this, it's amazing to me that we actually grew up to be just basic humans. My main accomplice from those days is now a lawyer in Chicago. I grew up fine. I'm nice to folks, and all.
Regrets...I've had a few....
My friends and I memorized the weekly schedule of a mildly retarded girl who worked at the Ben Franklin store near my house. We would just rob her blind. She always smiled at us. A real smile. When she wasn't working we'd go over to the grocery store and steal glass bottles of just anything. We would then exit the store and proceed to smash the bottles against the side of the place. We never used what we stole unless it was candy.
When I think back on all this, it's amazing to me that we actually grew up to be just basic humans. My main accomplice from those days is now a lawyer in Chicago. I grew up fine. I'm nice to folks, and all.
Regrets...I've had a few....
belgand
+0 -0
No personal offense, but I suspect this is the way of many people. They just learn to hide it more as they grow up and it comes out in more subtle and terrifying ways.
Some, like the Honorable Gentleman from the Internet, RoBox, have clearly learned from their past and grown past it.
No personal offense, but I suspect this is the way of many people. They just learn to hide it more as they grow up and it comes out in more subtle and terrifying ways.
Some, like the Honorable Gentleman from the Internet, RoBox, have clearly learned from their past and grown past it.
rowboat
+0 -0
I got busted. That's the best exorcism.
I got busted. That's the best exorcism.
belgand
+0 -0
My life was and, perhaps to a degree still is, composed more of the Beef-like fear that I will get busted. So I avoid doing anything that I could conceivably get busted for doing. Even things that probably aren't problematic enough to get busted for themselves, but might imply more going on or at least be slightly embarassing.
When you accept getting busted as inevitable or at least are completely unwilling to take the chance that it might happen it doesn't even need to happen.
Plus, well, just not my style really.
My life was and, perhaps to a degree still is, composed more of the Beef-like fear that I will get busted. So I avoid doing anything that I could conceivably get busted for doing. Even things that probably aren't problematic enough to get busted for themselves, but might imply more going on or at least be slightly embarassing.
When you accept getting busted as inevitable or at least are completely unwilling to take the chance that it might happen it doesn't even need to happen.
Plus, well, just not my style really.
sje46
+0 -0
Am I the only perosn who didn't do anything wrong only because . . .it's wrong?
Am I the only perosn who didn't do anything wrong only because . . .it's wrong?
rowboat
+0 -0
Probably.
Probably.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this nickname you've given him. To me it always sounds like 1) Rowboat and I had a secret love child, or 2) Rowboat and I were captured by a mad scientist and spliced together into a single unholy abomination.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this nickname you've given him. To me it always sounds like 1) Rowboat and I had a secret love child, or 2) Rowboat and I were captured by a mad scientist and spliced together into a single unholy abomination.
belgand
+0 -0
You are not involved. It certainly stemmed from your own nickname, but expanded. It is a snappier, shortened, slanged up form of "Robotic Vagina" with the sleek, dazzling veneer of the 1980s.
The fact that you has transmuted into a large penis would make it seem like you would enjoy this or, at least, engage in some sort of unholy conjugation with it.
If nothing else take solace in the use of CamelCase to distinguish.
You are not involved. It certainly stemmed from your own nickname, but expanded. It is a snappier, shortened, slanged up form of "Robotic Vagina" with the sleek, dazzling veneer of the 1980s.
The fact that you has transmuted into a large penis would make it seem like you would enjoy this or, at least, engage in some sort of unholy conjugation with it.
If nothing else take solace in the use of CamelCase to distinguish.
rosie
+3 -0
Wow. Proof positive as to why I love this dang strip so much. Look at the compassion in the bookstore manager's eyes. That is so touching. I can't believe Onstad was able to evoke that with just a couple of lines of dialogue and a few penstrokes under the manager's eyes... man. I'm a little verklempt here. Being a gay kid in '84 was a damned tough thing to be, much more so than it is today.
Wow. Proof positive as to why I love this dang strip so much. Look at the compassion in the bookstore manager's eyes. That is so touching. I can't believe Onstad was able to evoke that with just a couple of lines of dialogue and a few penstrokes under the manager's eyes... man. I'm a little verklempt here. Being a gay kid in '84 was a damned tough thing to be, much more so than it is today.
celesticles
+0 -0
Yeah, there were AIDS back then.
Yeah, there were AIDS back then.
rosie
+0 -0
When did AIDS get public exposure? I just saw Gia a few months ago but now I can't remember. but yeah, back then it was a death sentence. It's still tough to be gay, but it was worse back then.
When did AIDS get public exposure? I just saw Gia a few months ago but now I can't remember. but yeah, back then it was a death sentence. It's still tough to be gay, but it was worse back then.
sje46
+0 -0
I remember the very special episode about gayness on the original Degrassi.
I remember the very special episode about gayness on the original Degrassi.
sje46
+0 -0
I meant AIDS.
I meant AIDS.
achilleselbow
+2 -1
Same thing.
Same thing.
jeffspaulding
+1 -2
This board usually operates on a higher level.
HIV can infect anybody. Gay does not equal AIDS. Anti-homosexual bias inhibited many (gay or not) from coming forward for help; making the epidemic worse.
This board usually operates on a higher level.
HIV can infect anybody. Gay does not equal AIDS. Anti-homosexual bias inhibited many (gay or not) from coming forward for help; making the epidemic worse.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
See, there is this amazing new thing called a joke .
Here, I'll introduce it to you.
See, there is this amazing new thing called a joke .
Here, I'll introduce it to you.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This has been a Very Special Episode of Assetbar.
This has been a Very Special Episode of Assetbar.
biff
+0 -0
I cringe any time I see the jokes about rape. But then, there is lots of bleak history in my life relating to rape. Not for me personally, but for people I have been close to, including one who did not survive the episode, and was found days later by me.
But I have not raised the issue, and just look away when people make jokes about rape.
I think this can be treated similarly.
I cringe any time I see the jokes about rape. But then, there is lots of bleak history in my life relating to rape. Not for me personally, but for people I have been close to, including one who did not survive the episode, and was found days later by me.
But I have not raised the issue, and just look away when people make jokes about rape.
I think this can be treated similarly.
belgand
+0 -0
You have made a compelling and valid point in a rational manner. No more from me.
Frankly, this also pissed me off, but I chose not to say something as I could not find a way to do so in the fashion I desired.
You have made a compelling and valid point in a rational manner. No more from me.
Frankly, this also pissed me off, but I chose not to say something as I could not find a way to do so in the fashion I desired.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Ouch. Well that is terrible, and if I knew that and were just talking to you and a few other people I would obviously avoid such jokes. But yes, I'm glad you realize that in a public forum, there will always be something that offends someone or strikes at a painful personal memory, and it's not reasonable to expect everyone to conform to that. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to joke about anything because of people like that "not funny, not cool" girl who got mad at Onstad for mentioning antidepressants in the strip because her friend overdosed on them.
Ouch. Well that is terrible, and if I knew that and were just talking to you and a few other people I would obviously avoid such jokes. But yes, I'm glad you realize that in a public forum, there will always be something that offends someone or strikes at a painful personal memory, and it's not reasonable to expect everyone to conform to that. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to joke about anything because of people like that "not funny, not cool" girl who got mad at Onstad for mentioning antidepressants in the strip because her friend overdosed on them.
sje46
+0 -0
I make too many of those jokes, and I have been starting to feel bad about it. My friends at school maek constant rape jokes, and it's not a good influence for me.
I make too many of those jokes, and I have been starting to feel bad about it. My friends at school maek constant rape jokes, and it's not a good influence for me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Jesus, biff.
Jesus, biff.
belgand
+0 -0
Really? You were, like, one when the original was on. Also, didn't you seem to think that Next Generation was the main one the other day or something or was that someone else? I'm too lazy to look.
We all know that the defining moment for AIDS was the Legacy Virus. Everybody knows this.
Really? You were, like, one when the original was on. Also, didn't you seem to think that Next Generation was the main one the other day or something or was that someone else? I'm too lazy to look.
We all know that the defining moment for AIDS was the Legacy Virus. Everybody knows this.
sje46
+0 -0
I believe I mentioned that our health teacher in junior high showed us a few episodes. This was one of them.
I believe I mentioned that our health teacher in junior high showed us a few episodes. This was one of them.
redphillip
+0 -0
The acronym AIDS was introduced in July, 1982, replacing the earlier GRID (gay-related immunodeficiency disease). It took a long time, well into late 1983 into 1984, for any real awareness of AIDS to penetrate general public awareness. The case of Ryan White became a public affair in 1985, and it was only then that AIDS/HIV became a subject of broad public awareness.
The acronym AIDS was introduced in July, 1982, replacing the earlier GRID (gay-related immunodeficiency disease). It took a long time, well into late 1983 into 1984, for any real awareness of AIDS to penetrate general public awareness. The case of Ryan White became a public affair in 1985, and it was only then that AIDS/HIV became a subject of broad public awareness.
theguitarhero
+2 -0
Hehehe you said penetrate.
Hehehe you said penetrate.
belgand
+0 -0
Ah, but what about bathhouse flu? From what I've heard the late-70s were... I don't even know how to properly put it. Very not good.
Ah, but what about bathhouse flu? From what I've heard the late-70s were... I don't even know how to properly put it. Very not good.
redphillip
+0 -0
There were several illnesses making the rounds back then among gay men in the larger cities. People in the thick of things were aware that something seemed to be going on, but there was no way to know with any certainty. The initial medical case reports that were published in 1981 detailing Kaposi's Sarcoma and pneumocystus carinii pneumonia made no dent in the awareness of anyone except for a few public health and medical people. When my first friend died in '82, he was one of some 325 recognized cases of what had just been defined as AIDS. It was in retrospect that we realized that many people had in fact been ill with HIV for a very long time, and what had seemed to be odd trends were finally understood as the amplification of the epidemic.
There were several illnesses making the rounds back then among gay men in the larger cities. People in the thick of things were aware that something seemed to be going on, but there was no way to know with any certainty. The initial medical case reports that were published in 1981 detailing Kaposi's Sarcoma and pneumocystus carinii pneumonia made no dent in the awareness of anyone except for a few public health and medical people. When my first friend died in '82, he was one of some 325 recognized cases of what had just been defined as AIDS. It was in retrospect that we realized that many people had in fact been ill with HIV for a very long time, and what had seemed to be odd trends were finally understood as the amplification of the epidemic.
pettytyrant
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -0
Smoking AIDS will give you an amazing case of cancer. It kills you in mere hours because your immune system doesn't bother to fight it at all.
Smoking AIDS will give you an amazing case of cancer. It kills you in mere hours because your immune system doesn't bother to fight it at all.
pettytyrant
+1 -0
"Well Tekende, I'm afraid the diagnosis just isn't good. Not good at all."
"What is it Doctor?"
"I'm afraid you've got AIDS cancer."
"Well Tekende, I'm afraid the diagnosis just isn't good. Not good at all."
"What is it Doctor?"
"I'm afraid you've got AIDS cancer."
rowboat
+0 -0
"Hey! You got your cancer in my AIDS!"
"No, you got your AIDS in my cancer!"
"Hey! You got your cancer in my AIDS!"
"No, you got your AIDS in my cancer!"
zapatos
+0 -0
Girls don't fight, you're both going to die.
Girls don't fight, you're both going to die.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And yet tell someone to stop smoking GRIDS and the ACLU is all over your ass about "gay bashing" or some shit.
And yet tell someone to stop smoking GRIDS and the ACLU is all over your ass about "gay bashing" or some shit.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Nah, just G.R.I.D.S.
Nah, just G.R.I.D.S.
doctorbaronking
+0 -0
Damn, man, we are on the same page for sure.
Damn, man, we are on the same page for sure.
doctorbaronking
+1 -0
This is one of the best, most heart-wrenching strips I've ever seen. I swear to God, this comic has been straight praxis lately, I feel like more fully human after a read. But this strip... it's perfect. I truly appreciate the compassion of the Waldenbooks clerk, and I doubly appreciate that the compassion is only shown after some accidental gay soft-core happenstance. It's a cake made of tears with smile frosting (fuck, that's going to be my new myspace quote).
This is one of the best, most heart-wrenching strips I've ever seen. I swear to God, this comic has been straight praxis lately, I feel like more fully human after a read. But this strip... it's perfect. I truly appreciate the compassion of the Waldenbooks clerk, and I doubly appreciate that the compassion is only shown after some accidental gay soft-core happenstance. It's a cake made of tears with smile frosting (fuck, that's going to be my new myspace quote).
sje46
+0 -0
I learned a new word! Praxis.
I agree. One of my favorites in a while.
I learned a new word! Praxis.
I agree. One of my favorites in a while.
cromar
+0 -0
I agree. That is an extremely sweet word.
I agree. That is an extremely sweet word.
hamscout
+0 -0
Suddenly the exploding mining planet in Star Trek VI makes more sense...
Suddenly the exploding mining planet in Star Trek VI makes more sense...
furiousdingdong
+0 -0
I thought that this strip was very funny.
I thought that this strip was very funny.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Me too.
Me too.
bawdrey
+0 -0
This is why I like Achewood. It's horrible and awkward and you find yourself laughing in a kind of pained sobbing way, but it doesn't make you a worse person.
This is why I like Achewood. It's horrible and awkward and you find yourself laughing in a kind of pained sobbing way, but it doesn't make you a worse person.
pettytyrant
+1 -0
Usually when I'm laughing in a pained sobbing sort of way it's because I've done something horrible and awkward that actually makes me a worse person.
Achewwood is better than sex crimes I guess.
Usually when I'm laughing in a pained sobbing sort of way it's because I've done something horrible and awkward that actually makes me a worse person.
Achewwood is better than sex crimes I guess.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"Achewood is better than sex crimes I guess."
The essence of Achewood distilled. Thank you. May this phrase live on forever in the bowels of the Internet.
"Achewood is better than sex crimes I guess."
The essence of Achewood distilled. Thank you. May this phrase live on forever in the bowels of the Internet.
rowboat
+0 -0
Oddly enough, most of the best things in life are better than sex crimes.
Oddly enough, most of the best things in life are better than sex crimes.
stereo
+0 -0
Not so oddly enough, many of the best things in life can also be found in the bowels.
Not so oddly enough, many of the best things in life can also be found in the bowels.
rowboat
+0 -0
Not so very odd, indeed.
Not so very odd, indeed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What I get from this is sex crimes of the bowels are better than Achewood. It's been a tough year.
What I get from this is sex crimes of the bowels are better than Achewood. It's been a tough year.
mrblank91
+0 -0
At what point in his life did Roast Beef decide to stop wearing clothes?
At what point in his life did Roast Beef decide to stop wearing clothes?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
around two times of smoking with Ray before he shows up in the strip.
around two times of smoking with Ray before he shows up in the strip.
nice-on-water
+1 -1
Beef was shown an open door to a support network, but he had to get himself through it. Looks like he never did.
As a side note, not that anyone cares, but the holidays will keep most of us away for a few days, so let me be one of the first or last or somewhere in the middle to say Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah, and if you want a happy Kwanzaa, you can have that too and if you're an atheist I don't want a 10 paragraph argument about the marginalization of atheists and minorities during the season but also have a happy week?
Beef was shown an open door to a support network, but he had to get himself through it. Looks like he never did.
As a side note, not that anyone cares, but the holidays will keep most of us away for a few days, so let me be one of the first or last or somewhere in the middle to say Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah, and if you want a happy Kwanzaa, you can have that too and if you're an atheist I don't want a 10 paragraph argument about the marginalization of atheists and minorities during the season but also have a happy week?
biff
+1 -0
Thanks.
And I am not an atheist, I am a Unitarian Universalist agnostic, but I still celebrate the gift exchange / family gathering / goodwill towards men aspects of the season.
Happy Holidays to you nice-on-water , and everbuddy else.
Thanks.
And I am not an atheist, I am a Unitarian Universalist agnostic, but I still celebrate the gift exchange / family gathering / goodwill towards men aspects of the season.
Happy Holidays to you nice-on-water , and everbuddy else.
achilleselbow
+0 -1
Actually, the parts of the holiday season I enjoy most are heightening my general misanthropy, not being required to go to any sort of family gathering, and never having to go Christmas shopping, while laughing at the trials and tribulations of others who are scampering to do so.
Actually, the parts of the holiday season I enjoy most are heightening my general misanthropy, not being required to go to any sort of family gathering, and never having to go Christmas shopping, while laughing at the trials and tribulations of others who are scampering to do so.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This is what I wanted to avoid. Good job there, high and mighty. Happy early winter.
This is what I wanted to avoid. Good job there, high and mighty. Happy early winter.
belgand
+0 -0
Yep. Almost all of the other atheists I know celebrate Christmas under some name or another. It's not a religious holiday to the majority of people so it's really not much of an issue.
I believe Squidmas is the name gaining traction now.
I'll join Elbox in enjoying not having to see my family, but enjoying even more how I'm getting gifts. I don't have any money to buy them for anyone else, but money from Christmas is my primary source of income for the rest of the year.
Yep. Almost all of the other atheists I know celebrate Christmas under some name or another. It's not a religious holiday to the majority of people so it's really not much of an issue.
I believe Squidmas is the name gaining traction now.
I'll join Elbox in enjoying not having to see my family, but enjoying even more how I'm getting gifts. I don't have any money to buy them for anyone else, but money from Christmas is my primary source of income for the rest of the year.
stereo
+0 -0
Hey, Christmas was ripped off in the first place, I have no problem reappropriating it for my own needs (Christmas is now known as the blowjob holiday, steaks optional)
Hey, Christmas was ripped off in the first place, I have no problem reappropriating it for my own needs (Christmas is now known as the blowjob holiday, steaks optional)
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Christmas was never really a religious holiday in the first place.
Christmas was never really a religious holiday in the first place.
belgand
+0 -0
As I say whenever this comes up Io, Saturnalia!
Christmas clearly descends quite directly from it in many ways.
As I say whenever this comes up Io, Saturnalia!
Christmas clearly descends quite directly from it in many ways.
tekende
+0 -0
It's SO cool and counter-culture that you guys are doing exactly what nice-on-water didn't want you to do! That is so awesome! I want to be JUST like you guys!
It's SO cool and counter-culture that you guys are doing exactly what nice-on-water didn't want you to do! That is so awesome! I want to be JUST like you guys!
belgand
+0 -0
It's not 10 paragraphs long and it's not at all about anyone being marginalized. I see how it fits the general theme, but it doesn't seem to have crossed the line yet.
It's not 10 paragraphs long and it's not at all about anyone being marginalized. I see how it fits the general theme, but it doesn't seem to have crossed the line yet.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The funny thing is that it probably wouldn't have occurred to anyone to do it if he hadn't added that little disclaimer.
The funny thing is that it probably wouldn't have occurred to anyone to do it if he hadn't added that little disclaimer.
tekende
+0 -0
Considering it was done on the previous strip, yes, it would have.
Considering it was done on the previous strip, yes, it would have.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I know! But then again I guess it's my own fault for daring to challenge someone's non-mainstream ideas huh?
I know! But then again I guess it's my own fault for daring to challenge someone's non-mainstream ideas huh?
rowboat
+0 -0
Thinking inside the box is the new thinking outside the box.
Thinking inside the box is the new thinking outside the box.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Don't tell the Greenpoint hipsters about that, they'll start hogging the churches and PTAs.
Don't tell the Greenpoint hipsters about that, they'll start hogging the churches and PTAs.
zapatos
+0 -0
or they will regress to the fetus-stage of the life cycle.
or they will regress to the fetus-stage of the life cycle.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Always a possibility.
Always a possibility.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, but I don't get gifts either. In Russia, people often got each other presents for New Years (which was celebrated like American Christmas in almost every way), but I don't think it was absolutely required. In any case, my birthday was about a week after New Years, so I just got one set of presents. Then after we moved I also started getting Hannukah presents, which is great because it's a holiday where kids get presents from all their relatives and don't have to do anything in return. Eventually that stopped, and now I get nothing, which is more than balanced out by me not having to buy anything. I am a man of simple needs and I've always kind of felt that gift exchange is just a roundabout way of making you spend money in order to receive things that you don't get to choose, don't really need, or wouldn't allow yourself to buy even if you really wanted them.
But I was under the impression that most atheists in America still have to spend the holidays with their families and participate in the whole gift thing. The only reason I don't is because my family never celebrated Christmas in the first place.
Yea, but I don't get gifts either. In Russia, people often got each other presents for New Years (which was celebrated like American Christmas in almost every way), but I don't think it was absolutely required. In any case, my birthday was about a week after New Years, so I just got one set of presents. Then after we moved I also started getting Hannukah presents, which is great because it's a holiday where kids get presents from all their relatives and don't have to do anything in return. Eventually that stopped, and now I get nothing, which is more than balanced out by me not having to buy anything. I am a man of simple needs and I've always kind of felt that gift exchange is just a roundabout way of making you spend money in order to receive things that you don't get to choose, don't really need, or wouldn't allow yourself to buy even if you really wanted them.
But I was under the impression that most atheists in America still have to spend the holidays with their families and participate in the whole gift thing. The only reason I don't is because my family never celebrated Christmas in the first place.
belgand
+0 -0
I don't like my family and as I believe I have said before holidays were never about family when I grew up so it's not a part of it. I get gifts and I celebrate Christmas in a cultural sense though.
I only throw a fit if people try to make Christmas more religious or about anything other than Santa bringing presents and having a week off work or such. All that spirit of Christmas crap? Not my bag at all, but at least it's better.
It seems kind of shitty to not celebrate Christmas or Americanized Hannukah (i.e. Jewish Christmas for all intents and purposes) though. I mean, yeah Japan has the same sort of America fetish that we have for them, but even they celebrate Christmas these days.
Frankly I find cultures that celebrate the new year as the most important holiday of the year to be kinda weird. New Years is just... so lame as far as holidays go. Christmas works adequately as a big commercial gift-giving holiday. Sort of like it's everybody's birthday on the same day.
I don't like my family and as I believe I have said before holidays were never about family when I grew up so it's not a part of it. I get gifts and I celebrate Christmas in a cultural sense though.
I only throw a fit if people try to make Christmas more religious or about anything other than Santa bringing presents and having a week off work or such. All that spirit of Christmas crap? Not my bag at all, but at least it's better.
It seems kind of shitty to not celebrate Christmas or Americanized Hannukah (i.e. Jewish Christmas for all intents and purposes) though. I mean, yeah Japan has the same sort of America fetish that we have for them, but even they celebrate Christmas these days.
Frankly I find cultures that celebrate the new year as the most important holiday of the year to be kinda weird. New Years is just... so lame as far as holidays go. Christmas works adequately as a big commercial gift-giving holiday. Sort of like it's everybody's birthday on the same day.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
What's the difference? When I say that New Years was the most important holiday in the USSR, what I mean is that they basically just took the whole Christmas celebration - Santa, tree, presents, and all - and moved it back a few days so there could be a non-religious pretext for it.
What's the difference? When I say that New Years was the most important holiday in the USSR, what I mean is that they basically just took the whole Christmas celebration - Santa, tree, presents, and all - and moved it back a few days so there could be a non-religious pretext for it.
belgand
+0 -0
Oh, yeah, forgot about that. I honestly wasn't even thinking of the USSR there. I was thinking about how it's more important in Japan (I actually do some research for my assets much of the time, confirm spelling, check that I'm not saying something completely incorrect, etc.).
The important thing is that you have a late December gift-giving holiday.
I like having New Years as another holiday. Make it into a big thing. Gives us more holidays.
Oh, yeah, forgot about that. I honestly wasn't even thinking of the USSR there. I was thinking about how it's more important in Japan (I actually do some research for my assets much of the time, confirm spelling, check that I'm not saying something completely incorrect, etc.).
The important thing is that you have a late December gift-giving holiday.
I like having New Years as another holiday. Make it into a big thing. Gives us more holidays.
rowboat
+0 -0
I think New Year's is maybe the only completely understandable holiday of the whole year. It's the only thing that isn't made-up.
I think New Year's is maybe the only completely understandable holiday of the whole year. It's the only thing that isn't made-up.
rowboat
+0 -0
I realize that in a very, very broad sense New Year's Day is made-up. But not like, say, Memorial Day, or something that was just grabbed out of thin air.
I realize that in a very, very broad sense New Year's Day is made-up. But not like, say, Memorial Day, or something that was just grabbed out of thin air.
belgand
+0 -0
True, but it seems like the least relevant to celebrate. Oh boy, the date counter has ticked over one. It just strikes me as such not a big deal at all.
True, but it seems like the least relevant to celebrate. Oh boy, the date counter has ticked over one. It just strikes me as such not a big deal at all.
tekende
+0 -0
Me too. I mean, I'll party, sure, why not. But that's all it is. An excuse to party.
Me too. I mean, I'll party, sure, why not. But that's all it is. An excuse to party.
howl
+0 -0
My understanding is that the positions of New Years and Christmas in Japan are the reverse of here; that is, in Japan New Year's is this spiritual, spending-time-with-family thing, and Christmas doesn't mean much more than maybe some parties. I don't know if they give gifts on Christmas, though.
My understanding is that the positions of New Years and Christmas in Japan are the reverse of here; that is, in Japan New Year's is this spiritual, spending-time-with-family thing, and Christmas doesn't mean much more than maybe some parties. I don't know if they give gifts on Christmas, though.
belgand
+0 -0
From my rough and basic research children get presents on Christmas (I mean, gifting is a big part of the culture), but only when they're young because presents only come from Santa so once you're post-Santa no more gifts. It also is apparently more of a romantic holiday as well and there's a lot of pressure on women to have a date and some sort of big romantic display and such.
So from the appearances it's just commercial American Christmas, but with less overall cultural baggage and maybe a bit of Valentine's Day/New Year's date issues thrown in too. The pressure on women and dating seem to be a big problem there though. I mean, even looking at holidays they've also got Valentine's Day as well as White Day (which was created in the late 70s by a candy company so take that desperate, lonely losers who call Valentine's Day manufactured!)
Yeah, New Year's is both more spiritual and more about family. Crazy to me.
From my rough and basic research children get presents on Christmas (I mean, gifting is a big part of the culture), but only when they're young because presents only come from Santa so once you're post-Santa no more gifts. It also is apparently more of a romantic holiday as well and there's a lot of pressure on women to have a date and some sort of big romantic display and such.
So from the appearances it's just commercial American Christmas, but with less overall cultural baggage and maybe a bit of Valentine's Day/New Year's date issues thrown in too. The pressure on women and dating seem to be a big problem there though. I mean, even looking at holidays they've also got Valentine's Day as well as White Day (which was created in the late 70s by a candy company so take that desperate, lonely losers who call Valentine's Day manufactured!)
Yeah, New Year's is both more spiritual and more about family. Crazy to me.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, Valentine's Day IS manufactured. And stupid. Why should there be an arbitrary day for us to show affection to our significant others? Isn't it better to do so on some random unexpected day?
Well, Valentine's Day IS manufactured. And stupid. Why should there be an arbitrary day for us to show affection to our significant others? Isn't it better to do so on some random unexpected day?
belgand
+0 -0
Nope. Lupercalia . Ancient Roman (and likely pre-Roman) fertility festival that involved men sacrificing two goats and a dog and then running around whipping people with bloody lashes made from the freshly sacrificed animals' skins. Women whipped in this fashion were supposed to be blessed with greater fertility and easier childbirth.
I do, in principal, agree with you on some points. I have only given roses once on the day and only because, well, you need to engage in the tradition at least once. Otherwise, eh... it's so stereotypical. So bland and dull. I'd rather give them on another day when they can mean something other than "I have no creativity at all and enjoy being gouged heavily for mediocre flowers due to the sudden rise in demand".
But White Day was manufactured quite specifically by a single company in recent history. It really trumps Valentine's Day (and is intended as a male response to the female-focused Valentine's Day... giving that is, not receiving).
Nope. Lupercalia . Ancient Roman (and likely pre-Roman) fertility festival that involved men sacrificing two goats and a dog and then running around whipping people with bloody lashes made from the freshly sacrificed animals' skins. Women whipped in this fashion were supposed to be blessed with greater fertility and easier childbirth.
I do, in principal, agree with you on some points. I have only given roses once on the day and only because, well, you need to engage in the tradition at least once. Otherwise, eh... it's so stereotypical. So bland and dull. I'd rather give them on another day when they can mean something other than "I have no creativity at all and enjoy being gouged heavily for mediocre flowers due to the sudden rise in demand".
But White Day was manufactured quite specifically by a single company in recent history. It really trumps Valentine's Day (and is intended as a male response to the female-focused Valentine's Day... giving that is, not receiving).
zapatos
+0 -0
It is better actually, that is why I do what I want when I want and say, "Fcuk you hoalida!"
It is better actually, that is why I do what I want when I want and say, "Fcuk you hoalida!"
stereo
+0 -0
I made Valentine's Day special.
Forever I will remember it as the first day I ever masturbated. (oh the joy of being alone)
I made Valentine's Day special.
Forever I will remember it as the first day I ever masturbated. (oh the joy of being alone)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
How do you remember that, holy shit. Do you mail yourself a card with a little note inside starting with "Remember that night...?"
How do you remember that, holy shit. Do you mail yourself a card with a little note inside starting with "Remember that night...?"
zapatos
+0 -0
...When we cast aside our inhibitions and loved?
...When we cast aside our inhibitions and loved?
stereo
+0 -0
It helps that it was only like 2 years ago.
I put late bloomers to shame..
It helps that it was only like 2 years ago.
I put late bloomers to shame..
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The Flower That Never Bloomed by Cornelius Bear.
The Flower That Never Bloomed by Cornelius Bear.
biff
+0 -0
I wouldn't say have to spend the holidays with their families , I would say choose to spend the holidays with their families , but I am sure there are plenty of exceptions either way.
I wouldn't say have to spend the holidays with their families , I would say choose to spend the holidays with their families , but I am sure there are plenty of exceptions either way.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
>> Eventually that stopped, and now I get nothing
The saddest thing.
>> Eventually that stopped, and now I get nothing
The saddest thing.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah.
what this guy said.
yeah.
what this guy said.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
OMG WHAT ABOUT MY COMPLETELY BULLSHIT AND MADE UP HOLIDAY MAKING FUN OF THE COMMERCIALISM OF CHRISTMAS BECAUSE AS A CHILD MY PARENTS NEVER GOT ME A BIKE SO I HAVE TO RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US HUH WHAT ABOUT THAT?
OMG WHAT ABOUT MY COMPLETELY BULLSHIT AND MADE UP HOLIDAY MAKING FUN OF THE COMMERCIALISM OF CHRISTMAS BECAUSE AS A CHILD MY PARENTS NEVER GOT ME A BIKE SO I HAVE TO RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US HUH WHAT ABOUT THAT?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
srsly, though, n-o-w, you ruined what i had planned for christmas by reminding me that no one will be here to see it...
srsly, though, n-o-w, you ruined what i had planned for christmas by reminding me that no one will be here to see it...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I like being called NOW. It has the finality of a stern authoritarian but alack, the tinge of ultra-feminism...Nice or Nick will do I guess. N-O-W sounded good till I made the feminist connection. HAHAHA WOMEN AM I RIGHT
Also, what did you have planned, you wily guitar hero you?
I like being called NOW. It has the finality of a stern authoritarian but alack, the tinge of ultra-feminism...Nice or Nick will do I guess. N-O-W sounded good till I made the feminist connection. HAHAHA WOMEN AM I RIGHT
Also, what did you have planned, you wily guitar hero you?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Redoing "Night Before Christmas" and giving it an Assetbar theme and I swear to god if anyone copies that the only thing they are getting for christmas is death.
Redoing "Night Before Christmas" and giving it an Assetbar theme and I swear to god if anyone copies that the only thing they are getting for christmas is death.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Probably better you didn't.
Probably better you didn't.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If I may...
If I may...
biff
+0 -0
Unless you have me ignored, you can see that I wished you Happy Holidays.
That even applies to made up holidays.
Unless you have me ignored, you can see that I wished you Happy Holidays.
That even applies to made up holidays.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I was kidding, and no I don't have you ignored.
It was aimed at the people who insist on calling it Giftmas or Mythmas or whatever the Flying Spaghetti Monster's winter holiday is, as if people even still care that Christmas had something to do about Christ.
I was kidding, and no I don't have you ignored.
It was aimed at the people who insist on calling it Giftmas or Mythmas or whatever the Flying Spaghetti Monster's winter holiday is, as if people even still care that Christmas had something to do about Christ.
biff
+0 -0
Sorry if that came across as if I were pissed. I was just trying to reply in the same kidding spirit.
Sorry if that came across as if I were pissed. I was just trying to reply in the same kidding spirit.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It did have a kind of Pat-like humor to it.
I think we have just cracked what makes Pat a dick.
It did have a kind of Pat-like humor to it.
I think we have just cracked what makes Pat a dick.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
One might say pat -tronizing...?
One might say pat -tronizing...?
biff
+0 -0
I must admit, it was a little pat -thetic
I must admit, it was a little pat -thetic
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There could be a pat -thological reason for that.
There could be a pat -thological reason for that.
biff
+0 -0
Crap.
We are developing a pat -tern.
Crap.
We are developing a pat -tern.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Pat -ently dated after 15 minutes.
Pat -ently dated after 15 minutes.
biff
+0 -0
We'd best end it then.
Don't want to start a beef .
We'd best end it then.
Don't want to start a beef .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Joy! A ray of hope pokes through my still, frozen night!
Joy! A ray of hope pokes through my still, frozen night!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yes, let's all try and be [i]ray[i]s of sunshine in the lives of those around us.
Yes, let's all try and be [i]ray[i]s of sunshine in the lives of those around us.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
ray
ray
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Beat you and did it right. I figured you'd be lyle -ble to mess it up!
Beat you and did it right. I figured you'd be lyle -ble to mess it up!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I took a great, concerted risk BBCoding it and calling you on your flub. I succeeded. Homo superior.
I took a great, concerted risk BBCoding it and calling you on your flub. I succeeded. Homo superior.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Man that post made you look so re- todd -ed.
Man that post made you look so re- todd -ed.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Not gonna lie 'bot that.
Not gonna lie 'bot that.
sje46
+0 -0
Hey, I have an uncle Cornelius!
:)
Hey, I have an uncle Cornelius!
:)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's supposed to be a PUN.
It's supposed to be a PUN.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Vlad you told him before me.
Vlad you told him before me.
sje46
+0 -0
Sometimes I like to eat Roast Beef !
XD
Sometimes I like to eat Roast Beef !
XD
nice-on-water
+0 -0
GET OUT.
GET OUT.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I can imagine you saying that like Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz .
I can imagine you saying that like Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Aw, did my little teasing leave a blister on your ego?
Aw, did my little teasing leave a blister on your ego?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
No, in fact I had a good chuckle 'bot it, but we both commented at exactly the same time using the ray line.
No, in fact I had a good chuckle 'bot it, but we both commented at exactly the same time using the ray line.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You're making a killing on those -bots. Cop out if you ask me. Andy -z is the right way to do eet.
You're making a killing on those -bots. Cop out if you ask me. Andy -z is the right way to do eet.
biff
+0 -0
Chuckle 'bot it is the clear winner so far.
I suggest this particular mini-meme die, unless your contribution is in the same league.
Chuckle 'bot it is the clear winner so far.
I suggest this particular mini-meme die, unless your contribution is in the same league.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I have a circus penis
it has three tents and everything and it moves from city to city
I have a circus penis
it has three tents and everything and it moves from city to city
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are all three tents pitched?
Are all three tents pitched?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Not even close. I fold.
Not even close. I fold.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Nail on dee head. That's what I was getting at. Christmas is about family, gifts and food for 90% of the world that celebrates it. BUT ANYWAY NO RELIGIOUS DEBATES PLZ
To those that want it, happy holidays
Nail on dee head. That's what I was getting at. Christmas is about family, gifts and food for 90% of the world that celebrates it. BUT ANYWAY NO RELIGIOUS DEBATES PLZ
To those that want it, happy holidays
theguitarhero
+0 -0
IMA CHARGIN MY RELIJUS DEBATE.
IMA CHARGIN MY RELIJUS DEBATE.
sje46
+0 -0
what? Are you talking about Festivus or something>
what? Are you talking about Festivus or something>
theguitarhero
+0 -0
FESITVUS--FOR THE REST OF US.
FESITVUS--FOR THE REST OF US.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
festivus is alright baby cmon
any day which allows specifically for an airing of grievances is just alright with me, festivus is just alright!
festivus is alright baby cmon
any day which allows specifically for an airing of grievances is just alright with me, festivus is just alright!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The Feats of Strength sounds awesome. And a plain aluminum Festivus pole is just what something like the overly-mushy Christmas season needs.
The Feats of Strength sounds awesome. And a plain aluminum Festivus pole is just what something like the overly-mushy Christmas season needs.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-doop-yeah
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-doop-dah
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-doop-yeah
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-DOOP
"Festivus is just alright with me
Festivus is just alright, oh yeah"
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-doop-yeah
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-doop-dah
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-doop-yeah
dee-doo-doo-doop-doop-doop-DOOP
"Festivus is just alright with me
Festivus is just alright, oh yeah"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
More like dee-DOObie-DOObie-DOOBie-etc
More like dee-DOObie-DOObie-DOOBie-etc
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Also, the guy I was going to tell you the LOSER story about Tom Petty & Heartbreakers.
His drummer was invited to be in the original Doobies, but rejected them because he thought the name sounded retarded. LOSER
Also, the guy I was going to tell you the LOSER story about Tom Petty & Heartbreakers.
His drummer was invited to be in the original Doobies, but rejected them because he thought the name sounded retarded. LOSER
nice-on-water
+0 -0
ASSHOLE. What's he doing now? BEING DEAD because he SUICIDED or something?
ASSHOLE. What's he doing now? BEING DEAD because he SUICIDED or something?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
No idea. I never met that guy, and I haven't talked to the bass player in years and years.
He was in a group with my sister's ex after they lost the Battle of Bands Asylum Records contract to Tom Petty, and then got into some very bad circumstances and ended up ripping them off.
His life went straight into toiletsville pretty much through no fault of his own.
Originally a very nice guy. Very sweet guy.
No idea. I never met that guy, and I haven't talked to the bass player in years and years.
He was in a group with my sister's ex after they lost the Battle of Bands Asylum Records contract to Tom Petty, and then got into some very bad circumstances and ended up ripping them off.
His life went straight into toiletsville pretty much through no fault of his own.
Originally a very nice guy. Very sweet guy.
rowboat
+1 -0
To be fair, that band name really is totally retarded.
To be fair, that band name really is totally retarded.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
To be fairer, they're a good band.
To be fairer, they're a good band.
belgand
+0 -0
But RoBox is still totally correct. It is an awful name.
Now sing "China Grove".
doo-doo... dut-dut-dut-dut... doo-doo... dut-dut-dut-dut... doo-da-doo-da-doo.. da-doo-doo
But RoBox is still totally correct. It is an awful name.
Now sing "China Grove".
doo-doo... dut-dut-dut-dut... doo-doo... dut-dut-dut-dut... doo-da-doo-da-doo.. da-doo-doo
belgand
+0 -0
That was terrible, I am rockin' the Doob as poorly as the Coast Guard. The muting should be represented by a "chucka-chucka" not a "dut-dut-dut-dut". I am so low I will now ritually listen to John Denver in penance.
That was terrible, I am rockin' the Doob as poorly as the Coast Guard. The muting should be represented by a "chucka-chucka" not a "dut-dut-dut-dut". I am so low I will now ritually listen to John Denver in penance.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Try:
BAO WAO chucka chucka BAO WAO chucka chucka DAO BOO BAO BOO BAO WAO repeat
Try:
BAO WAO chucka chucka BAO WAO chucka chucka DAO BOO BAO BOO BAO WAO repeat
biff
+0 -0
China Grove is their worst song, IMO.
I mean, after all, the song is China Grove , but talks about "the sheriff and his buddies with their Samurai swords," which come from Japan , duh.
China Grove is their worst song, IMO.
I mean, after all, the song is China Grove , but talks about "the sheriff and his buddies with their Samurai swords," which come from Japan , duh.
belgand
+0 -0
I know. I wish people would realize that. It always gets to me. Not as bad as the Mortal Kombat song "Chinese Ninja Warrior" though.
It was more an occasion to break out a Simpsons reference though.
I know. I wish people would realize that. It always gets to me. Not as bad as the Mortal Kombat song "Chinese Ninja Warrior" though.
It was more an occasion to break out a Simpsons reference though.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Dude, it's a town down around San Antoine. It's a part of the Lone Star state. Texans are well known for getting all confused by "furriners". The Doobs, my homeboys, knew exactly what they were doing.
Dude, it's a town down around San Antoine. It's a part of the Lone Star state. Texans are well known for getting all confused by "furriners". The Doobs, my homeboys, knew exactly what they were doing.
rowboat
+0 -0
I didn't say anything about their music.
Along those same lines, Dr. Dog is one of the most ridiculous band names I've ever heard. It conjures images of some frat boy cover band. And you know I feel about their music.
I didn't say anything about their music.
Along those same lines, Dr. Dog is one of the most ridiculous band names I've ever heard. It conjures images of some frat boy cover band. And you know I feel about their music.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't know how you feel. I like them, on a scale of one to ten, about a 6.5, ten being my most favorite band ever and and one being Britney Spears or, like, Kid Rock. But yes, horrific name.
I don't know how you feel. I like them, on a scale of one to ten, about a 6.5, ten being my most favorite band ever and and one being Britney Spears or, like, Kid Rock. But yes, horrific name.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, we did have a conversation about them, like, a week or so ago on this very message board. But I now see that it meant nothing to you.
Well, we did have a conversation about them, like, a week or so ago on this very message board. But I now see that it meant nothing to you.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If I was a part of it, then it was more like 2 months ago, because I remember a discussion about Dr. Dog but not recently. Recount for me, brother, let me show you I care.
If I was a part of it, then it was more like 2 months ago, because I remember a discussion about Dr. Dog but not recently. Recount for me, brother, let me show you I care.
rowboat
+0 -0
OK, it was early this month on the Under the Hood thread. We were both wrong and right about when it happened.
OK, it was early this month on the Under the Hood thread. We were both wrong and right about when it happened.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also, I changed my opinion of "We All Belong", you might or might not be happy to know. Not nearly as monotonous as I though for the past 2 years, but still not as rich as "Fate."
Also, I changed my opinion of "We All Belong", you might or might not be happy to know. Not nearly as monotonous as I though for the past 2 years, but still not as rich as "Fate."
rowboat
+0 -0
I am happy to know that. The latter is better pound for pound, but the former is not to be taken lightly.
Fate - best album of 2008? I didn't hear too much new music this year, so I may not be qualified to say. But from what I did hear, I think it's only serious competition would be Dear Science.
I am happy to know that. The latter is better pound for pound, but the former is not to be taken lightly.
Fate - best album of 2008? I didn't hear too much new music this year, so I may not be qualified to say. But from what I did hear, I think it's only serious competition would be Dear Science.
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, and did you ever follow up on their older stuff? It's extremely worth it.
Oh, and did you ever follow up on their older stuff? It's extremely worth it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Nope, but I heard a few of them live in October but I couldn't formulate a respectable opinion. I'll give it a listen on iTunes or Youtube or whatever is best for that sort of thing (last.fm? Whatever).
Nope, but I heard a few of them live in October but I couldn't formulate a respectable opinion. I'll give it a listen on iTunes or Youtube or whatever is best for that sort of thing (last.fm? Whatever).
rowboat
+0 -0
Don't they just put on a hell of a show? God damn they do! I need to see them at a place with decent sound next time. Even through some basement bar's shitty PA they were fantastic. I can only imagine what it'd be like to hear them sounding correct live.
On second thought, it seems like they'll probably "break" sooner rather than later, so I guess I'll count myself as lucky to have been able to see them on the cheap and basically stand right next to them while they played. Those opportunities will soon be a thing of the past, I have to imagine.
Don't they just put on a hell of a show? God damn they do! I need to see them at a place with decent sound next time. Even through some basement bar's shitty PA they were fantastic. I can only imagine what it'd be like to hear them sounding correct live.
On second thought, it seems like they'll probably "break" sooner rather than later, so I guess I'll count myself as lucky to have been able to see them on the cheap and basically stand right next to them while they played. Those opportunities will soon be a thing of the past, I have to imagine.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I saw them in a sort of medium sized place (for reference there was a stage and a bar? And a bit of a balcony) and they were On all night and the PA was great. Delta Spirit almost stole the show though.
I saw them in a sort of medium sized place (for reference there was a stage and a bar? And a bit of a balcony) and they were On all night and the PA was great. Delta Spirit almost stole the show though.
zapatos
+0 -0
return to cookie mountain
return to cookie mountain
nice-on-water
+0 -0
iTunes (read: my review on iTunes) called Fate the best SO FAR pending the release of a new Golden Shoulders album but that didn't happen so it got bumped up in said reviewer (read: my) ranking, but with the discovery of Delta Spirit's Ode to Sunshine , this critic fellow (read: me) might have to consider a DOUBLE NUMBER ONE???
I am so full of myself it is unfunny.
iTunes (read: my review on iTunes) called Fate the best SO FAR pending the release of a new Golden Shoulders album but that didn't happen so it got bumped up in said reviewer (read: my) ranking, but with the discovery of Delta Spirit's Ode to Sunshine , this critic fellow (read: me) might have to consider a DOUBLE NUMBER ONE???
I am so full of myself it is unfunny.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But an addendum: The Allman Brothers Band is the best thing to crawl out of the Southern rock scene (I say rock because Southern soul is pretty fucking hot shit)
But an addendum: The Allman Brothers Band is the best thing to crawl out of the Southern rock scene (I say rock because Southern soul is pretty fucking hot shit)
belgand
+0 -0
A lot better than "Spirit in the Sky" which always came across as kinda dickish. He totally knew he was getting into heaven. Hate people like that. No need to be all Catholic about it, but don't act like you got your letter from admissions already.
Also, "gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky"? Like Jesus is his connection or something? He can totally get him in because he knows a guy? This keeps sounding like a worse and worse deal.
Also, yeah, it's a fun riff, but that song is just so damn repetitive. I think I liked it slightly more before Rock Band 2. That has totally ruined it for me.
A lot better than "Spirit in the Sky" which always came across as kinda dickish. He totally knew he was getting into heaven. Hate people like that. No need to be all Catholic about it, but don't act like you got your letter from admissions already.
Also, "gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky"? Like Jesus is his connection or something? He can totally get him in because he knows a guy? This keeps sounding like a worse and worse deal.
Also, yeah, it's a fun riff, but that song is just so damn repetitive. I think I liked it slightly more before Rock Band 2. That has totally ruined it for me.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
But Christians believe that, if they believe, they are saved (i.e., they get in). Catholics, on the other hand, are only as good as their last absolution and waver between being tarnished by sin or in a state of grace. They can never be sure.
This is a marketing ploy; the Church makes good lucre selling indulgences, etc. to get people's souls out of purgatory (there is no mention of purgatory in the Bible -- it was invented to create a market for redemption credits).
I like that song though.
But Christians believe that, if they believe, they are saved (i.e., they get in). Catholics, on the other hand, are only as good as their last absolution and waver between being tarnished by sin or in a state of grace. They can never be sure.
This is a marketing ploy; the Church makes good lucre selling indulgences, etc. to get people's souls out of purgatory (there is no mention of purgatory in the Bible -- it was invented to create a market for redemption credits).
I like that song though.
belgand
+0 -0
Depends on the specific denomination really. I'm still not totally up on the whole Jehovah's Witnesses thing where they have a set number of elect, but they keep trying to recruit more members. I mean, if they're predestined why even bother to do anything about it? It's not like it can be taken away. How do they know that the selected group aren't from around the world? It could just be a bunch of people who don't even care and have vastly different religious beliefs.
I so totally don't get it. I would probably regret it, but I would possibly be interested in speaking to them about the specific of their theology so long as they realize that nobody's getting converted.
Depends on the specific denomination really. I'm still not totally up on the whole Jehovah's Witnesses thing where they have a set number of elect, but they keep trying to recruit more members. I mean, if they're predestined why even bother to do anything about it? It's not like it can be taken away. How do they know that the selected group aren't from around the world? It could just be a bunch of people who don't even care and have vastly different religious beliefs.
I so totally don't get it. I would probably regret it, but I would possibly be interested in speaking to them about the specific of their theology so long as they realize that nobody's getting converted.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Jehovah's Witnesses aren't even real people, so it's ok.
Jehovah's Witnesses aren't even real people, so it's ok.
biff
+0 -0
According to Southpark , only Mormons get into Heaven anyway.
According to Southpark , only Mormons get into Heaven anyway.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
But Christians believe that, if they believe, they are saved (i.e., they get in). Catholics, on the other hand, are only as good as their last absolution and waver between being tarnished by sin or in a state of grace. They can never be sure.
This is a marketing ploy; the Church makes good lucre selling indulgences, etc. to get people's souls out of purgatory (there is no mention of purgatory in the Bible -- it was invented to create a market for redemption credits).
I like that song though.
But Christians believe that, if they believe, they are saved (i.e., they get in). Catholics, on the other hand, are only as good as their last absolution and waver between being tarnished by sin or in a state of grace. They can never be sure.
This is a marketing ploy; the Church makes good lucre selling indulgences, etc. to get people's souls out of purgatory (there is no mention of purgatory in the Bible -- it was invented to create a market for redemption credits).
I like that song though.
pogo
+0 -0
It sounds like your impression of Catholic Christianity is out of date and full of rumors. And the assertion that serving the needs of sinners is a racket is not worth refuting. You can go to mass and/or reconciliation as seldom or as frequently as you need to in order to live a holy life.
It sounds like your impression of Catholic Christianity is out of date and full of rumors. And the assertion that serving the needs of sinners is a racket is not worth refuting. You can go to mass and/or reconciliation as seldom or as frequently as you need to in order to live a holy life.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Off topic, someone was wondering where you went, I don't remember who.
Off topic, someone was wondering where you went, I don't remember who.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also, taken to school in the car of pain etc etc
Also, taken to school in the car of pain etc etc
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It was a stoner song, belgand. Didn't you get that from the slurry industrial guitar? There's no logic in stoner songs.
It was a stoner song, belgand. Didn't you get that from the slurry industrial guitar? There's no logic in stoner songs.
belgand
+0 -0
True, but the weird hippie/Christian thing that apparently took hold then. That just continues to freak me out.
Hmmm... I wonder what happened to Pogo. Haven't seen him in a while.
True, but the weird hippie/Christian thing that apparently took hold then. That just continues to freak me out.
Hmmm... I wonder what happened to Pogo. Haven't seen him in a while.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He got canceled when Walt Kelly died, I think. Mid seventies?
Oh you mean...
He got canceled when Walt Kelly died, I think. Mid seventies?
Oh you mean...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also: Norman Greenbaum was Jewish. Fun fact.
Also: Norman Greenbaum was Jewish. Fun fact.
mattylite
+0 -0
Whoops sorry nice-on for saying what you said further up in space but later in time. The topologies of the assetbar are confusing indeed.
Whoops sorry nice-on for saying what you said further up in space but later in time. The topologies of the assetbar are confusing indeed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
S'alright. I don't blame you because I've probably done that more than anyone.
S'alright. I don't blame you because I've probably done that more than anyone.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I'm also sorry.
I'm also sorry.
mattylite
+0 -0
Also Norman Greenbaum is a jew.
Also Norman Greenbaum is a jew.
belgand
+0 -0
So there's authorial distance in it? Crazy. The idea that the song is from the point of view of some other person just... damn. I think I need to go have a lie down and a burrito.
So there's authorial distance in it? Crazy. The idea that the song is from the point of view of some other person just... damn. I think I need to go have a lie down and a burrito.
mattylite
+0 -0
I heard an interview where he said he was more just a hippie, all into love, and he thought Jesus was more of a universal symbol of love that would connect with more people for maximum love vibrations. I mean, I'm paraphrasing here.
I heard an interview where he said he was more just a hippie, all into love, and he thought Jesus was more of a universal symbol of love that would connect with more people for maximum love vibrations. I mean, I'm paraphrasing here.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Mel Brooks is Jewish?!
Mel Brooks is Jewish?!
belgand
+0 -0
Nah, he's crypto-Muslim. It's just all a big act. Just like how Jackie Mason is really a secret Zoroastrian.
Nah, he's crypto-Muslim. It's just all a big act. Just like how Jackie Mason is really a secret Zoroastrian.
mattylite
+0 -0
I love the word Ziggurat. Does that make me a Zoroastrian? Wait, I also love the word Zoroastrian. Also Byzantine. Wait why do I love words with Z in them? Lazer.
I love the word Ziggurat. Does that make me a Zoroastrian? Wait, I also love the word Zoroastrian. Also Byzantine. Wait why do I love words with Z in them? Lazer.
belgand
+0 -0
NO! It is LASER! L ight A mplification by S timulated E mission of R adiation. It's an acronym. No 'z' involved.
These are pretty boss words though. Carry on otherwise.
NO! It is LASER! L ight A mplification by S timulated E mission of R adiation. It's an acronym. No 'z' involved.
These are pretty boss words though. Carry on otherwise.
stereo
+0 -0
I can't pronounce words with "z" in them. The buzzing sound just doesn't work in my head.
I can't pronounce words with "z" in them. The buzzing sound just doesn't work in my head.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
How are you able to sleep without zzzzzzzzz's?
How are you able to sleep without zzzzzzzzz's?
mattylite
+0 -0
But... but you just said 'buzzing.'
Oh, you mean in real life.
But... but you just said 'buzzing.'
Oh, you mean in real life.
biff
+0 -0
Tabernacle is one of my favorite words. I can say it over and over and over.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Wheeeeeee!
Tabernacle is one of my favorite words. I can say it over and over and over.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Tabernacle.
Wheeeeeee!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In taberna quando sumus
(When we are in the tavern)
In taberna quando sumus When we are in the tavern,
non curamus quid sit humus, we do not think how we will go to dust,
sed ad ludum properamus, but we hurry to gamble,
cui semper insudamus. which always makes us sweat.
Quid agatur in taberna What happens in the tavern,
ubi nummus est pincerna, where money is host,
hoc est opus ut queratur, you may well ask,
si quid loquar, audiatur. and hear what I say.
Quidam ludunt, quidam bibunt, Some gamble, some drink,
quidam indiscrete vivunt. some behave loosely.
Sed in ludo qui morantur, But of those who gamble,
ex his quidam denudantur some are stripped bare,
quidam ibi vestiuntur, some win their clothes here,
quidam saccis induuntur. some are dressed in sacks.
Ibi nullus timet mortem Here no-one fears death,
sed pro Baccho mittunt sortem: but they throw the dice in the name of Bacchus
In taberna quando sumus
(When we are in the tavern)
In taberna quando sumus When we are in the tavern,
non curamus quid sit humus, we do not think how we will go to dust,
sed ad ludum properamus, but we hurry to gamble,
cui semper insudamus. which always makes us sweat.
Quid agatur in taberna What happens in the tavern,
ubi nummus est pincerna, where money is host,
hoc est opus ut queratur, you may well ask,
si quid loquar, audiatur. and hear what I say.
Quidam ludunt, quidam bibunt, Some gamble, some drink,
quidam indiscrete vivunt. some behave loosely.
Sed in ludo qui morantur, But of those who gamble,
ex his quidam denudantur some are stripped bare,
quidam ibi vestiuntur, some win their clothes here,
quidam saccis induuntur. some are dressed in sacks.
Ibi nullus timet mortem Here no-one fears death,
sed pro Baccho mittunt sortem: but they throw the dice in the name of Bacchus
achilleselbow
+0 -0
We're all gonna become hummus when we die?
We're all gonna become hummus when we die?
biff
+0 -0
I don' wanna be no chickpea paste :-( :-( :-(
I don' wanna be no chickpea paste :-( :-( :-(
belgand
+0 -0
It has been suggested to me that you can make hummus with peanut butter instead of tahini. That is the way of madness. MADNESS AND LIESSS!!!
It has been suggested to me that you can make hummus with peanut butter instead of tahini. That is the way of madness. MADNESS AND LIESSS!!!
daidai
+0 -0
I'm actually okay with that. I always expected that when I died I would be turned into a white grainy paste that made vegetarians have horrible breath and fart the stench of a thousand rotting infants.
I'm actually okay with that. I always expected that when I died I would be turned into a white grainy paste that made vegetarians have horrible breath and fart the stench of a thousand rotting infants.
daidai
+0 -0
Oh wait shit I need to put on a Roast Beef avatar for that comment.
Oh wait shit I need to put on a Roast Beef avatar for that comment.
belgand
+0 -0
Hummus is fabulous stuff and has nothing to do with being a vegetarian. If you are against hummus than you are against me .
Belgand... is Dolmades!
Hummus is fabulous stuff and has nothing to do with being a vegetarian. If you are against hummus than you are against me .
Belgand... is Dolmades!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Hummus is the best. I made a smiley face in my hummus at school (not that bad!) and took a picture. I named him Hummus Hummilakis because I always forget if hummus is Greek, Jewish, or Lebanese, but I like Greek names.
Hummus is the best. I made a smiley face in my hummus at school (not that bad!) and took a picture. I named him Hummus Hummilakis because I always forget if hummus is Greek, Jewish, or Lebanese, but I like Greek names.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
SJE MOMENT SORRY MOM SORRY DAD SORRY COLLEGE
SJE MOMENT SORRY MOM SORRY DAD SORRY COLLEGE
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Some a us.
Some a us.
stereo
+0 -0
I always felt they ripped that off Deep Purple's Demon's Eye . Except they left out the good parts.
I always felt they ripped that off Deep Purple's Demon's Eye . Except they left out the good parts.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I liked that song a little bit better when I found out its author was Jewish.
I liked that song a little bit better when I found out its author was Jewish.
morypcaina
+0 -0
DAMNIT
DAMNIT
daedala_x
+0 -0
on the one hand, that whole Festivus concept seemed kinda forced and gimmicky. on the other, i have a huge crush on Frank Costanza, rivaled only by my even huger crush on George Costanza, so the episode was still awesome. words cannot describe how much love i have in my heart for George. perhaps it is my destiny to be with a bald, insecure, pudgy man-child who does not appreciate me? i am also seriously turned on by Carl from Aqua Teen, though i would prefer George because he is more, uh, introspective?
on the one hand, that whole Festivus concept seemed kinda forced and gimmicky. on the other, i have a huge crush on Frank Costanza, rivaled only by my even huger crush on George Costanza, so the episode was still awesome. words cannot describe how much love i have in my heart for George. perhaps it is my destiny to be with a bald, insecure, pudgy man-child who does not appreciate me? i am also seriously turned on by Carl from Aqua Teen, though i would prefer George because he is more, uh, introspective?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
PAGING DOCTOR FRRRRRREUDEFVCDUNFD LOADFXC
PAGING DOCTOR FRRRRRREUDEFVCDUNFD LOADFXC
rowboat
+2 -0
I can't imagine that these sorts of men are real hard to land.
I can't imagine that these sorts of men are real hard to land.
tekende
+0 -0
Where do you live, daedala, I am planning to gain some weight and make myself start balding
Where do you live, daedala, I am planning to gain some weight and make myself start balding
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
If I could hazard a guess -- your father -- was he perhaps a little pudgy -- balding?
If I could hazard a guess -- your father -- was he perhaps a little pudgy -- balding?
myfirstpost
+0 -0
I think that you think that you are funny and that it is funny to pretend you don't think you are funny or care if you are funny and you think that is funny.
I think that you think that you are funny and that it is funny to pretend you don't think you are funny or care if you are funny and you think that is funny.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Nah, I'm fit as a fiddle. Or did you mean the man who raised her?
Nah, I'm fit as a fiddle. Or did you mean the man who raised her?
stereo
+0 -0
When's the last time you saw a fiddle with hair?
No, wait, don't answer that.
When's the last time you saw a fiddle with hair?
No, wait, don't answer that.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Actually, atheists have their own holiday called HumanLight. You can hear all about it in just a few hours on Morning Edition , only on National Public Radio!
Actually, atheists have their own holiday called HumanLight. You can hear all about it in just a few hours on Morning Edition , only on National Public Radio!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Oh, right. That's the one where Stephen Hawking comes down the chimney and he's all 7 foot tall muscled up SCIENCE-GOD giving off blinding light, all strutting around, all no-gravity, giving out Science magazines and tiny CERN REACTORS that really work, and shit.
I could get into that one.
Oh, right. That's the one where Stephen Hawking comes down the chimney and he's all 7 foot tall muscled up SCIENCE-GOD giving off blinding light, all strutting around, all no-gravity, giving out Science magazines and tiny CERN REACTORS that really work, and shit.
I could get into that one.
tekende
+2 -0
"Ho. Ho. Ho. Hap-py. Holi. Days. And. To. All. A. Good. Night."
(That was my impression of Stephen Hawking as Santa.)
"Ho. Ho. Ho. Hap-py. Holi. Days. And. To. All. A. Good. Night."
(That was my impression of Stephen Hawking as Santa.)
sje46
+0 -0
I appreciated it.
I appreciated it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Praise Stephen.
We need a robotic vocoder font.
Praise Stephen.
We need a robotic vocoder font.
belgand
+0 -0
There's a fine line in atheism between the humanists and the misanthropes. Just recall that not everyone is a "secular humanist" and many of us just plain hate you.
There's a fine line in atheism between the humanists and the misanthropes. Just recall that not everyone is a "secular humanist" and many of us just plain hate you.
pettytyrant
+0 -0
When I was a kid my Mom took us to a church, or rather, a number of churches, that operated out of old storefronts, or industrial warehouse strip malls, in which people fainted in the aisles, spoke in tongues, and herky-jerked on the floor in religious ways for the Lord on Sunday mornings. I only occasionally was let into the Bedlam of the services, for the most part these churches kept the kids cloistered away under Sunday School protection, and on the rare occasion that I was exposed to the service I was always pretty scared. The point is I was raised pretty weirdly Christian.
Anyway, around this time in life I have a memory of myself being outside on a gray December day, jumping around a snowbank or pulling my sister in a sled, or some such, alongside the street that passed by our apartment building. I recall seeing a school bus roll by, with the words "Merry X-mas" written in the frost of the windows. The term X-mas troubled me, in fact it seemed like a way Satan might refer to Christmas. X-mas.
I still get a little creeped out when I see it written that way.
When I was a kid my Mom took us to a church, or rather, a number of churches, that operated out of old storefronts, or industrial warehouse strip malls, in which people fainted in the aisles, spoke in tongues, and herky-jerked on the floor in religious ways for the Lord on Sunday mornings. I only occasionally was let into the Bedlam of the services, for the most part these churches kept the kids cloistered away under Sunday School protection, and on the rare occasion that I was exposed to the service I was always pretty scared. The point is I was raised pretty weirdly Christian.
Anyway, around this time in life I have a memory of myself being outside on a gray December day, jumping around a snowbank or pulling my sister in a sled, or some such, alongside the street that passed by our apartment building. I recall seeing a school bus roll by, with the words "Merry X-mas" written in the frost of the windows. The term X-mas troubled me, in fact it seemed like a way Satan might refer to Christmas. X-mas.
I still get a little creeped out when I see it written that way.
relaxing
+0 -0
Xmas is the Greek way of abbreviating it. But then, the Greeks were into many creepy things.
Xmas is the Greek way of abbreviating it. But then, the Greeks were into many creepy things.
cromar
+0 -0
This is true Greatness as can only be transmitted in that comic strip format!
This is true Greatness as can only be transmitted in that comic strip format!
theirateturk
+0 -0
I like how the playgirl dudes only have one name because women are whores who want NSA sex
I like how the playgirl dudes only have one name because women are whores who want NSA sex
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
A surname attaches strings to sex? If girls are like dudes, they'll just check their sleeping lover's license. (I've done his a few times when I can't remember first names).
A surname attaches strings to sex? If girls are like dudes, they'll just check their sleeping lover's license. (I've done his a few times when I can't remember first names).
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dammit Jeff you are ruining Assetbar by deconstructing every joke.
Dammit Jeff you are ruining Assetbar by deconstructing every joke.
biznart
+0 -0
He is apparently my wife.
Back to the comic, where does this embarrassment rank compared to dangling the worm on his rickety-ass skateboard?
He is apparently my wife.
Back to the comic, where does this embarrassment rank compared to dangling the worm on his rickety-ass skateboard?
theirateturk
+1 -2
your gay
your gay
belgand
+0 -0
What about my gay? Has he run off again? Thank you very much for returning him in that case.
What about my gay? Has he run off again? Thank you very much for returning him in that case.
theirateturk
+0 -0
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ImitationCrab, rockstarsatemy, Belgand, DarkerNorm)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ImitationCrab, rockstarsatemy, Belgand, DarkerNorm)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
your racist.
your racist.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Wait. Wait wait wait wait... Are you saying...
... that you have had sexual intercourse with a woman?
Wait. Wait wait wait wait... Are you saying...
... that you have had sexual intercourse with a woman?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
He does not belong here on the Internet! Banish him!
He does not belong here on the Internet! Banish him!
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Beef does not think it is rad to have homosexuality.
Beef does not think it is rad to have homosexuality.
chachibenji
+0 -0
"Ten Things To Do."
"Ten Things To Do."
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Can someone start off this list?
Can someone start off this list?
stereo
+0 -0
Buy the magazine, you hippy.
Buy the magazine, you hippy.
tekende
+0 -0
1. Explore a farm (carrots, etc.)
1. Explore a farm (carrots, etc.)
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
2. c sumfink trooly magistic
3. kis deh moast beaut beaut wome in worl
2. c sumfink trooly magistic
3. kis deh moast beaut beaut wome in worl
achilleselbow
+0 -0
4. Arrange the items in your pantry by alphabetical order.
4. Arrange the items in your pantry by alphabetical order.
belgand
+0 -0
5. Masturbate out of fear, anxiety, and misery
6. Pet and play with a soft, adorable baby animal while knowing that it will soon die. Realize that no matter how much you love it one day you will wake up to find it dead in your home.
5. Masturbate out of fear, anxiety, and misery
6. Pet and play with a soft, adorable baby animal while knowing that it will soon die. Realize that no matter how much you love it one day you will wake up to find it dead in your home.
zapatos
+0 -0
5. Have sex and talk about it on the internet.
5. Have sex and talk about it on the internet.
stereo
+0 -0
Man you guys are doing this all wrong, don't you know you always start with number 10? Why would people even read the other 9 if they knew what the number 1 Thing to Do was?
Man you guys are doing this all wrong, don't you know you always start with number 10? Why would people even read the other 9 if they knew what the number 1 Thing to Do was?
belgand
+0 -0
You obviously have never had a subscription to Cosmo. I have. They start at one and then number down. It's a list, not a ranking.
Incidentally I am totally comfortable with being a guy and reading Cosmo. It mainly about sex or giving me a fresh reason to experience rage at the terrors of vapid idiocy and horrible mangling of the language. Let's just say that when you're taking Journalism in high school and have to go through old magazines to work on your yearbook mock-ups you get bored and everyone starts screwing around and taking quizzes and it leads to a sort of thing.
You obviously have never had a subscription to Cosmo. I have. They start at one and then number down. It's a list, not a ranking.
Incidentally I am totally comfortable with being a guy and reading Cosmo. It mainly about sex or giving me a fresh reason to experience rage at the terrors of vapid idiocy and horrible mangling of the language. Let's just say that when you're taking Journalism in high school and have to go through old magazines to work on your yearbook mock-ups you get bored and everyone starts screwing around and taking quizzes and it leads to a sort of thing.
ntopp
+0 -0
Best. Security guard. Ever.
Best. Security guard. Ever.
ntopp
+0 -0
Rather, best. Waldenbooks. Shift leader. Ever.
Rather, best. Waldenbooks. Shift leader. Ever.
rockstarsatemy
+0 -0
When I was 16 my mother bought our first computer. Altavista was then our search engine of choice (this was a long time ago, google hadn't been invented yet), and my mother persisted in typing "Astavista" instead. And then there would be shrieking recriminations.
When I was 16 my mother bought our first computer. Altavista was then our search engine of choice (this was a long time ago, google hadn't been invented yet), and my mother persisted in typing "Astavista" instead. And then there would be shrieking recriminations.
mattylite
+0 -0
Do you think it was from thinking Hasta la Vista? This is my theory. This is my theory about why your mother did that.
Do you think it was from thinking Hasta la Vista? This is my theory. This is my theory about why your mother did that.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i still use altavista.
[IMGS OFF]
i still use altavista.
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i no longer use altavista. they killed their audio search, which was super helpful to me in my life of a Superstar DJ.
i no longer use altavista. they killed their audio search, which was super helpful to me in my life of a Superstar DJ.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hey guys, I hate to do this, but I can't read music. What two notes does Lyle play in Mr. Band?
Hey guys, I hate to do this, but I can't read music. What two notes does Lyle play in Mr. Band?
mattylite
+0 -0
You mean here?
No clef but if you assume bass clef it is C followed by a bunch of Bs. This makes sense with where his hand is, too, around the 8th and 7th frets on the E string. Also it makes sense because metal people love a flat 2.
You mean here?
No clef but if you assume bass clef it is C followed by a bunch of Bs. This makes sense with where his hand is, too, around the 8th and 7th frets on the E string. Also it makes sense because metal people love a flat 2.
belgand
+0 -0
I do not think that Frank Frazetta ever drew a flat 2. I am thus calling your statement into question.
I do not think that Frank Frazetta ever drew a flat 2. I am thus calling your statement into question.
tekende
+0 -0
What does Frank Frazetta have to do with music notes?
What does Frank Frazetta have to do with music notes?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
everything
everything
mattylite
+0 -0
Also, how come? Are you gonna record it? I was thinking of doing that sometime, recording versions of all the Teodor tabs and stuff. Because I have too much time on my hands. But are you gonna do it? Fine.
Also, how come? Are you gonna record it? I was thinking of doing that sometime, recording versions of all the Teodor tabs and stuff. Because I have too much time on my hands. But are you gonna do it? Fine.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm working on doing some home recordings and I've wanted to do a cover of that song for so long (basically since I read that arc).
I'm doing both parts too, the metal part and then it's going to transition into hip-hobbit.
Yeah, I'm working on doing some home recordings and I've wanted to do a cover of that song for so long (basically since I read that arc).
I'm doing both parts too, the metal part and then it's going to transition into hip-hobbit.
mattylite
+0 -0
You truly are the guitar hero, theguitarhero.
You truly are the guitar hero, theguitarhero.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Except for that whole not knowing how to read music part.
Except for that whole not knowing how to read music part.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Guitar players don't need to know how to read music. We're just that awesome.
Guitar players don't need to know how to read music. We're just that awesome.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
As an extremely mediocre guitar player, I know this.
But still, he is "the guitar hero ," so I can't help but be a little disappointed that he isn't able to read two basic notes of sheet music.
As an extremely mediocre guitar player, I know this.
But still, he is "the guitar hero ," so I can't help but be a little disappointed that he isn't able to read two basic notes of sheet music.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sorry I suck so badly at music, guys.
Sorry for subjecting you all to my rendition of "Battle at Witch Rock".
Sorry I suck so badly at music, guys.
Sorry for subjecting you all to my rendition of "Battle at Witch Rock".
tekende
+0 -0
Man, do you have any idea how many successful, famous, and influential rock musicians don't know how to read a damn lick of music?
Man, do you have any idea how many successful, famous, and influential rock musicians don't know how to read a damn lick of music?
biff
+0 -0
It's not limited to rock. Successful, famous, and influential musicians in every* genre don't/didn't know how to read music.
Hell, Bing Crosby couldn't read music.
*well, probably not classical music
It's not limited to rock. Successful, famous, and influential musicians in every* genre don't/didn't know how to read music.
Hell, Bing Crosby couldn't read music.
*well, probably not classical music
sje46
+0 -0
Beatles didn't know how to read music.
Beatles didn't know how to read music.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
How could insects know how to read music?
How could insects know how to read music?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
...they were born before science existed!
Anyways, I'm sorry, too, tgh, for just having a little fun and implying that a guy with the tag "theguitarhero" should be able to read two basic notes. As a guitar player who doesn't read music and idolizes a number of guitar players who probably can't read music either, I really didn't care that much.
...they were born before science existed!
Anyways, I'm sorry, too, tgh, for just having a little fun and implying that a guy with the tag "theguitarhero" should be able to read two basic notes. As a guitar player who doesn't read music and idolizes a number of guitar players who probably can't read music either, I really didn't care that much.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
See, I'm a hero at..guitar hero...
even though I traded it in.
See, I'm a hero at..guitar hero...
even though I traded it in.
zapatos
+0 -0
How are you diggin' on Chrono Trigger?
How are you diggin' on Chrono Trigger?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Haven't had much time to play, but I will soon.
Haven't had much time to play, but I will soon.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Key of bee, hum a few bars.
Key of bee, hum a few bars.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Man, do you have any idea how many successful, famous, and influential rock musicians don't know how to play a damn lick of music?
Man, do you have any idea how many successful, famous, and influential rock musicians don't know how to play a damn lick of music?
stereo
+0 -0
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
tekende
+0 -0
I'm not, like, a big fan of Nirvana or anything, but...what? I don't see how you can really say that.
Unless the joke is that "don't" is present tense and Cobain is now dead.
I'm not, like, a big fan of Nirvana or anything, but...what? I don't see how you can really say that.
Unless the joke is that "don't" is present tense and Cobain is now dead.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
It's pretty well known that a lot of Nirvana's songs are ridulously easy to play on guitar. I remember when I was learning to play guitar in the mid-90's that all my other friends who were on the same path almost invariably started out by learning Nirvana songs; if I recall correctly, they're almost all just power chords.
Not that Nirvana is unique to this kind of songwriting, but Cobain became an extremely influential and popular musician by basically writing songs that most people could play within a few months of learning the instrument.
That's okay, though: a lot of my favorite songs are very, very simple, in a technical sense...and a lot of incredibly asinine music is highly technical.
It's pretty well known that a lot of Nirvana's songs are ridulously easy to play on guitar. I remember when I was learning to play guitar in the mid-90's that all my other friends who were on the same path almost invariably started out by learning Nirvana songs; if I recall correctly, they're almost all just power chords.
Not that Nirvana is unique to this kind of songwriting, but Cobain became an extremely influential and popular musician by basically writing songs that most people could play within a few months of learning the instrument.
That's okay, though: a lot of my favorite songs are very, very simple, in a technical sense...and a lot of incredibly asinine music is highly technical.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm not saying it's bad or anything, it's just very simple.
Yeah, I'm not saying it's bad or anything, it's just very simple.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The only reason I know some music is because when you tab something on Powertab it transcribes it into Real musical notes above the tab. Also "Every Good Boy Deserves Fries" and "FACE" plus my knowledge of where notes are on the neck gives me a reasonable but still sub-rudimentary ability to read Real music.
The only reason I know some music is because when you tab something on Powertab it transcribes it into Real musical notes above the tab. Also "Every Good Boy Deserves Fries" and "FACE" plus my knowledge of where notes are on the neck gives me a reasonable but still sub-rudimentary ability to read Real music.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Powertab?! NOTEPAD motherfucker. That's all you need.
Powertab?! NOTEPAD motherfucker. That's all you need.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Excuse me but Powertab suits me just fine, thank you very much.
Excuse me but Powertab suits me just fine, thank you very much.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
DON'T SASS ME I just got back from my hockey team losing and I want to spit in an eye and blacken it. Oh yeah...and if you try to talk smack to me, I'm gonna pull down your ****, and I'm gonna **** you in the ***.
DON'T SASS ME I just got back from my hockey team losing and I want to spit in an eye and blacken it. Oh yeah...and if you try to talk smack to me, I'm gonna pull down your ****, and I'm gonna **** you in the ***.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Arrested Development.
I got it.
Arrested Development.
I got it.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't.
I don't.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ahh nuts to ya.
Ahh nuts to ya.
belgand
+0 -0
That's actually a major reason why I use Powertab. Use of both tab and classical notation are key to me.
That's actually a major reason why I use Powertab. Use of both tab and classical notation are key to me.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
(I see what you did)
I'll make a note of that.
[IMGS OFF]
(I see what you did)
I'll make a note of that.
[IMGS OFF]
desert_donkey
+0 -0
he shoulda put Shewdby St. Thames on the cover of that mag.
he shoulda put Shewdby St. Thames on the cover of that mag.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
OH SHIT. i think Ray's wearing "JimmyZ" shorts.
OH SHIT. i think Ray's wearing "JimmyZ" shorts.
belgand
+0 -0
There is a proper time and place to shout "MOTORIN'!"* That time is always and that place is everywhere.
*"Sister Christian" - Night Ranger Midnight Madness , 1983
There is a proper time and place to shout "MOTORIN'!"* That time is always and that place is everywhere.
*"Sister Christian" - Night Ranger Midnight Madness , 1983
usversusthem
+0 -0
I'm surprised no one's commented on "Proof ex facto" yet. Little gems like that that get buried amidst the other funny moments are one of my favourite things about Achewood. That's like a two-strip-culmination for something like CAD. Here it's the end-of-the-first-row-of-panels punchline. Wonderful.
I'm surprised no one's commented on "Proof ex facto" yet. Little gems like that that get buried amidst the other funny moments are one of my favourite things about Achewood. That's like a two-strip-culmination for something like CAD. Here it's the end-of-the-first-row-of-panels punchline. Wonderful.
rowboat
+0 -0
Someone did. It's up there somewhere. It's up there laughing at you!
Someone did. It's up there somewhere. It's up there laughing at you!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It was me commenting that Ray was probably trying to say "ex post facto".
A talking penis with glasses has proven usversusthem wrong.
It was me commenting that Ray was probably trying to say "ex post facto".
A talking penis with glasses has proven usversusthem wrong.
usversusthem
+1 -0
Man I even command-effed that business. Proof ex facto, zero matches. I am going in. I think this is the second time I have been wrong about a "I'm surprised no one's commented on..." situation. I should probably hang 'em up. I haven't even gotten more than 2 chubbies on a post in like a month or two. All those damn lames have left me a li'l soft upstairs. George Foreman has good advice for everybody. G'night, folks.
Man I even command-effed that business. Proof ex facto, zero matches. I am going in. I think this is the second time I have been wrong about a "I'm surprised no one's commented on..." situation. I should probably hang 'em up. I haven't even gotten more than 2 chubbies on a post in like a month or two. All those damn lames have left me a li'l soft upstairs. George Foreman has good advice for everybody. G'night, folks.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Command eff? Well, there's your problem - using a computer with AIDS.
Command eff? Well, there's your problem - using a computer with AIDS.
usversusthem
+0 -0
A talking penis with glasses just made an AIDS joke.
A talking penis with glasses just made an AIDS joke.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
what i was thinking too.. but then more like ray's spin on phrases. definitely cool and definitely makes NO sense. heh.
Quote:
there's a poster on here that thinks penises are funny so he prolly found this comment funny. why does achilles have a dickhead for an avatar? shuoldn't it be "achillespenis?"
what i was thinking too.. but then more like ray's spin on phrases. definitely cool and definitely makes NO sense. heh.
Quote:
A talking penis with glasses has proven usversusthem wrong
there's a poster on here that thinks penises are funny so he prolly found this comment funny. why does achilles have a dickhead for an avatar? shuoldn't it be "achillespenis?"
theirateturk
+0 -0
I can semi relate to RB:
When my brother was about 16, he had an Arnold Schwarzenegger weight training book which featured many pics of Arnie in nothing but black underwear, posing.
My grandmother happened upon this and feared the worst: her beloved grandchild was a homosexual. I think she still thinks he's a fag 20 years on.
I can semi relate to RB:
When my brother was about 16, he had an Arnold Schwarzenegger weight training book which featured many pics of Arnie in nothing but black underwear, posing.
My grandmother happened upon this and feared the worst: her beloved grandchild was a homosexual. I think she still thinks he's a fag 20 years on.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Is he?
Is he?
theirateturk
+0 -0
No he is a straight shootr
No he is a straight shootr
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
you're brothrs gay
you're brothrs gay
theirateturk
+0 -0
HEY
HEY
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Turkish grannies, don't let your grandsons grow up to be homos.
Don't let 'em pick fabrics and drive them gay jeeps
Don't let em be Cowboys and Indian Chiefs
[IMGS OFF]
Turkish grannies, don't let your grandsons grow up to be homos.
Don't let 'em pick fabrics and drive them gay jeeps
Don't let em be Cowboys and Indian Chiefs
[IMGS OFF]
zapatos
+0 -0
Those guys look like they're having a very good time!
What Village are they from?
Those guys look like they're having a very good time!
What Village are they from?
belgand
+0 -0
Greenwich. I'm guessing the Western parts.
Greenwich. I'm guessing the Western parts.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Greenwich is correct. Zapatos is also correct that they are having a Mean Time in Greenwich. Such a Mean Time that the rest of the world sets its clocks by them.
Except Turkey.
Greenwich is correct. Zapatos is also correct that they are having a Mean Time in Greenwich. Such a Mean Time that the rest of the world sets its clocks by them.
Except Turkey.
theirateturk
+1 -0
~~You have entered Advanced Achewood Discussion.
Your moderator is scorpio_nadir
~~You have entered Advanced Achewood Discussion.
Your moderator is scorpio_nadir
tekende
+0 -0
A small village in Bangkok.
A small village in Bangkok.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
I spent one night there; it made me, a hard man, humble.
I spent one night there; it made me, a hard man, humble.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and the rough got rougher.
and the rough got rougher.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Is that Owen Wilson?
Is that Owen Wilson?
desert_donkey
+0 -0
i can semi relate as well. i was at a used bookstore and there's this ancient "Gold's Gym" weighlifting book.
there's some great stuff in it. it's black and white.. except it's that funky paper.. not news print,.. that other dirty harsh quality stuff.
anyway, there's plenty o' funky pics. the book is a great laugh at parties. the Farah Fawcet hairdos on the chics (and some of the guys..) and the striped Dolphin shorts. so fucking classic.
definitely gay by current standards. but guess what.. guys ripping down steroids to get ludicrously ripped and prancing and posing around on stage in Speedos?? please.. it's much worse than gay. it's the pigmallian complex shit.
i can semi relate as well. i was at a used bookstore and there's this ancient "Gold's Gym" weighlifting book.
there's some great stuff in it. it's black and white.. except it's that funky paper.. not news print,.. that other dirty harsh quality stuff.
anyway, there's plenty o' funky pics. the book is a great laugh at parties. the Farah Fawcet hairdos on the chics (and some of the guys..) and the striped Dolphin shorts. so fucking classic.
definitely gay by current standards. but guess what.. guys ripping down steroids to get ludicrously ripped and prancing and posing around on stage in Speedos?? please.. it's much worse than gay. it's the pigmallian complex shit.
dusty
+2 -2
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
You are wonderfull
and your alive
you'll find the happiness
for which you strive
you're not alone
if you need to explore
Now I'm sorry, but i have to ask you
to leave the store
(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?
(guitar solo)
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
You are wonderfull
and your alive
you'll find the happiness
for which you strive
you're not alone
if you need to explore
Now I'm sorry, but i have to ask you
to leave the store
(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?
(guitar solo)
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
lamed 4 unorignale bulshits plz is noit ard 2 make own song
lamed 4 unorignale bulshits plz is noit ard 2 make own song
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Glad uses the Guitar Hero argument.
"Why don't you learn to play real guitar?"
Glad uses the Guitar Hero argument.
"Why don't you learn to play real guitar?"
atticusonline
+0 -0
We should all trust glad's amazing insights and punctuation.
We should all trust glad's amazing insights and punctuation.
belgand
+0 -0
This seems like an inaccurate translation. The point he is trying to make is that the song is unoriginal and thus lacks merit. Actually playing an instrument is unnecessary and irrelevant.
I mean, I see how you were trying to go there, but I'm not certain it came out clearly enough.
This seems like an inaccurate translation. The point he is trying to make is that the song is unoriginal and thus lacks merit. Actually playing an instrument is unnecessary and irrelevant.
I mean, I see how you were trying to go there, but I'm not certain it came out clearly enough.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
"An ambitious project that unfortunately falls short of its own vision, resulting in a confused and fragmented narrative. Two and a half stars."
- Belgand
"An ambitious project that unfortunately falls short of its own vision, resulting in a confused and fragmented narrative. Two and a half stars."
- Belgand
tekende
+0 -0
Damn, out of chubbies.
Damn, out of chubbies.
belgand
+0 -0
I shall need to resume this shtick with greater frequency. I was not aware that such a service was needed, but clearly I am best able to provide it.
Oddly that would also be much like my review of "Synecdoche, New York" from the other night. Except I don't have a star rating for it yet. I'm still trying to work it out. Too muddled to be truly great or too great to not be muddled? Can't call it yet.
I shall need to resume this shtick with greater frequency. I was not aware that such a service was needed, but clearly I am best able to provide it.
Oddly that would also be much like my review of "Synecdoche, New York" from the other night. Except I don't have a star rating for it yet. I'm still trying to work it out. Too muddled to be truly great or too great to not be muddled? Can't call it yet.
tekende
+0 -0
Synecdoche has many flaws by conventional standards. But I think it is so personal a project, and so far beyond what most films try to accomplish that is really impossible to properly review. I think it is a work of sublime genius, and Charlie Kaufman is obviously much, much smarter than I am, and I don't feel qualified to try to say whether it failed or succeeded.
Basically it is operating on a much higher cognitive level than most other films.
Synecdoche has many flaws by conventional standards. But I think it is so personal a project, and so far beyond what most films try to accomplish that is really impossible to properly review. I think it is a work of sublime genius, and Charlie Kaufman is obviously much, much smarter than I am, and I don't feel qualified to try to say whether it failed or succeeded.
Basically it is operating on a much higher cognitive level than most other films.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok Glad uses the parameters of the GH Argument, as in Why copy someone elses art when you can make it yourself?
THERE HAPPY NOW?
Ok Glad uses the parameters of the GH Argument, as in Why copy someone elses art when you can make it yourself?
THERE HAPPY NOW?
dusty
+0 -0
My reason here wasn't really to make my own song, and was in fact in no way related to the reasons someone writes a song. But ok.
(whistful voice intro)
Tell me, have you ever heard of a parody?
(ohh yeah)
Its something that plays on similarities
to something else
(thats right)
Its not entirely original, its kinda like a joke
Like Monty python, or tenacious D
(lead guitar comes in with choir backup)
Aaaand I hope that dude
with bad grammar (really fucking bad)
gets so much dysentery
(OH YEAH lalala)
and then dies from dysentery
(ooh no)
on the pile of old carpets
he uses for a bed
(Guitar solo)
My reason here wasn't really to make my own song, and was in fact in no way related to the reasons someone writes a song. But ok.
(whistful voice intro)
Tell me, have you ever heard of a parody?
(ohh yeah)
Its something that plays on similarities
to something else
(thats right)
Its not entirely original, its kinda like a joke
Like Monty python, or tenacious D
(lead guitar comes in with choir backup)
Aaaand I hope that dude
with bad grammar (really fucking bad)
gets so much dysentery
(OH YEAH lalala)
and then dies from dysentery
(ooh no)
on the pile of old carpets
he uses for a bed
(Guitar solo)
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Ray boned out! Cold move there.
Ray boned out! Cold move there.
samuraieaux
+0 -0
I hadn't read an Achewood strip since January 2, to stock up on new strips. One sitting. One. Man, I would totally homicide a bunch of people for some more...
I hadn't read an Achewood strip since January 2, to stock up on new strips. One sitting. One. Man, I would totally homicide a bunch of people for some more...
pogo
+0 -0
Here's a list of who to homicide first:
1. You mom
2. sje
3. daidai
4. I'm still thinking
Here's a list of who to homicide first:
1. You mom
2. sje
3. daidai
4. I'm still thinking
sje46
+0 -0
Pogo, you don't like me?
Pogo, you don't like me?
zapatos
+0 -0
If killing you gets me more Achewood...
If killing you gets me more Achewood...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
KILLING SJE WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN COMICS.
KILLING SJE WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN COMICS.
pogo
+0 -0
I used you in my joke BECAUSE I like you! Sheesh!
I used you in my joke BECAUSE I like you! Sheesh!
drmemory
+0 -0
I, for one, am completely in favor of hot Aruba nights.
I, for one, am completely in favor of hot Aruba nights.
acker
+10 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oh, hee hee hee chub.
Oh, hee hee hee chub.
waferman
+0 -0
You see, this is the kind of thing would do just to feel like someone cared about me.
You see, this is the kind of thing would do just to feel like someone cared about me.
jaldor
+0 -0
Why would gay cats want to get off to human males?
Why would gay cats want to get off to human males?
beverage
+0 -0
Achewood has to be read slowly. Savored.
This one gets a five just because I want to five it.
Achewood has to be read slowly. Savored.
This one gets a five just because I want to five it.
ppccd
+0 -0
There is safety.
There is safety.
neonfreon
+0 -0
'';!--"
'';!--"
=&{()}
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by skavid, Norsef, dayvancowboy, apocowarg, shatneresque, roger_wilco, heccibiggs, Unfun, mattbeetee, Mattsolo, Vondicus, lordatog, dwodles, BPMead, Feste, ummagumma, cuntpills69, ReNeilssance, FireKing, dannyp, whoper, Kleptonis, Weretrout, RedMange, gussiejives, AdroitCelerity, Paperypip, ActualTaunt, NDCaesar, DHCJohn, DougTheHead, DrSkradley, Mustakrakesh, Fcannon, shoethings, biznart, Tragic_Johnson, Hidden_7, megaskip, G-money, Tashara, couchfortress, Wolfslice, skjames, Llobstrosity, Footbullet, cromar, aparrish)
A comment left by rowboat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sean1058, dannyp, shoethings)
False.
Yeah?
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, Sant, clembot, Boredom_Man, shaggy23, motts)
Can I help you?
Eh?
they need to enable capitalization on usernames so you could be a Thing.
Hey, I made your icon, thing! I made a thing!
Actually, I made that icon. I used it as a subtle hint (that nobody would get unless they somehow remembered that picture) that thing was me.
Unfortunately, only the person behind huahahahahahaha joined in to my shenanigans.
Also, apparently 3 machine elves were offended by my idea and lamed me...then chubbied thing.
Huh
Although looking back at this I see that you made a very similar picture.
Oh dang, you are right. Sorry for being bad.
Christ.
Why didn't you?
ARG now if you do it it won't be funny
Or didn't I?
HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAT, already?!
I know I should have expected this, but I did not.
And I do not have a chubby for you. I am so sorry.
So sorry.
i got no idea what's going on here
Or even its distant relative, bassball:
[IMGS OFF]
That is a goldfish.
He could be sunburned.
Don't carp about it.
he's just being koi
He beta be.
How do you guys know so many fish-related puns?
We just flounder around.
krill u guys cut it out? i dun mena 2 crab atchu guys but srsly
Glad makes some fish puns.
yeah but his was crappie
He drinks like a... He drinks like a...
He drinks a lot.
His puns are bass
I knew messageboards attracted the bottomfeeders of the internet, but this is ridiculous.
I found it to have its own unique tang.
the bass tone is merlin.
It's hard to find puns on such a large scale
Stop this, i'm gettin out of chubby
They're just doing it for the chubbs.
de fin itly
I don't b eel ieve you.
Those shellfish urchins!
I'm all trOUT of chubbies oh god why did i even post this
No need to be a dick about fish.
A comment left by d3athcann0n was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FirePowa8, mrblank91, whymog)
Wait, gladi8orrex likes Jimmy Carr? I... I don't know how to feel about this.
.. I like Jimmy Carr too, Gladi8orrex.
My avatar makes many rude public comments about his avatar.
But I think they like each other in real life, just two knuckleheads from the day, style of thing.
"PUT SMARTIES TUBES ON CATS LEGS MAKE THEM WALK LIKE A ROBOT"
(YouTube: gM-GZHLPNyU (no, it's not the Carr clip, couldn't find that))
I think that might be the best thing he's ever done. Here are the links .
Glad says some racist shit, because he ain't doin' poems no mo'.
Chubbied, not for the tiresome black guy joke, but for using the first post to genuinely attempt to set a theme for this edition of AB. That the attempt failed is inconsequential. Carry on g.
Glad has never done anything genuine here.