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Uses for a Large Condom Monday, July 7, 2003 • read strip Viewing 124 comments:

It would also be an excellent way to transport fresh water across a body of salt water.

It could be used by poachers to protect elephant tusks from moisture.

but the lubricant!

*flup*

You could wear it over your cast when you take a shower.

You could put it over a cat who did not want to take a shower.

it could be used to keep a french loaf dry in a rain storm.

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i don't know what the professor brothers or superdeluxe are, sorry.

it's extremely hilarious, and you didn't steal it, that guy is just goofy. Brad Neely is a genius on par with Onstad. look it up.

And she started screaming, like a baby bat which is more startled than usual. And I turned around, and I said "Those have not been in asses!"

nyu, that is an asshole thing you just did by the way. Wage some peace immediately.

I hear lies every fuckin' day
Even me, I lie to myself
That was one of my faves

Your reasoning relies upon the principle "Shoes = French loaves".

Shoes are not bread.

it could be used to keep a watermelon crisp and moist

only try this use with an unlubricated giant condom

unless the lubricant in question is herb-infused olive oil.

That would make for some pretty classy oral.

it's the only way Italian chicks will do it.
Marinara works too. Just like mom used to make

Must...refrain...from making obvious...incest joke...mixed...company...

Only if you enjoy eating lubricated bread.

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A hole could be cut in it and it could be used as a poncho for a very thin lady.

Or a not-all-that-thin lady.

A drug mule knows he's in trouble when the boss pulls this one out.

You could use it to safely transport large fish to a place.

I will keep this in mind

It could be an inexpensive hand puppet.

this is the best comment thread in the archive.

This is truth.

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[no]

It could be filled with red food-coloring, tied off, and placed on a bun for a hilarious prank.

hipwaders for kids!

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A surrogate womb for a fetal dolphin!

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inflate a handful, tie together at the ends, make a floating sea anemone toy for a child interested in marine biology

"lash" things together


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You will be baked, and then there will be cake.

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There really was a cake

SPOILERZ WTF

If you and a box of them were stranded on an island together, you could inflate them and fashion a raft.

What possible events would lead to being in that situation?

WHY FIND OUT

BOO TO THAT

...asks man-eating Natassja Kinski.

You could attach a basket to the bottom and use it to travel the world like Larry Ellison.

you could make condom-balloon animals with it, all with the reservoir puffing up into a cute doggy tail.

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face mask during a bank robbery, slip over the end of your nemesis' golf club for a hilarious time on the links, on your feet while listening to g&r for a rockin time on the freshly waxed kitchen floor

pull one over your head for a hilarious mask that will delight children moments before you suffocate to death.

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One box of these and a clown wig and you can host an impromptu children's birthday party. Y'know, as balloons. Sickos.

it could be utilized for Canadian milk services

It could double as an arm length glove used to inseminate a horse

the rural airport thing hits home.

Nice pete could probably think up a couple uses for it.

Not nearly as many as Nolan.

In a jam, two could be used in tandem as socks.

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That's what shoes are for.

Could be used to hold your collection of other, smaller condoms.

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Oh, please. Have you ever taken it in the dumper? If a cock is too long, it hurts like the dickens. You're not even a real fag, are you?

He's almost like a caricature of a fag. Like what an immature teenager thinks a gay person would be like.

The avatar-text synchronization between these two comments is perfect.

It is as though Notgodot is Retardo's classier, younger rival with a sense of decency and manners.

One could fill it with quarters and swing it about the head for an effective self-defense tool.

Or such as a promiscuous clown could use for a puppet when in a pinch.

It could be used as a hilarious container of alcohol during some kind of drinking game that needs an unpractical vessel to drink from.

you could fill it with frosting and use it as a hilarious cake decorator!

Please see next comic.

ahh hell of dang. i'm the guy who sucks, plus i don't know how to read.

No worries. I just did the same thing with Roast Beef and his punctuation.

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......

..... nah, that's stupid

it seems, nine months ago, i lamed this comment.

i just wanted you to know that if i could take it back right now, i would. in a heartbeat. i just wanted to let you know that.

A practice skin for a snake that doesn't know how to molt.

It could be used as a parachute for a very very small man.

It could be filled with water and used as heavy artillery in a water balloon war.

Oh Jesus. It would have to be inflated to about four and a half feet long to burst properly.

it could be stretched over the head and inflated with the nose of a giant Howie Mandel float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...kind of an homage to his old act back in the 80's...before he went all Deal or No Deal...that would be a thing

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Phillipe is standing in it.

good save

The missing alt tag: Ray has a distribution idea....

i love the concept that when you return from heaven you bring with you the last item you had

That would explain Molly's return adequately.

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Why not fill it with a ligher-than-air gas and fly it over it over sporting events with advertisements?

you could puke into it when you get carsick--always be prepared!

Why is every comment on this strip so awesome?

A cheap and transparent protector for one's iPod.

It may also be a container for the world's largest Jello shooter.

Snake shoes.

Well, you could slip it over a cucumber, pleasure your partner, then.. you know.. make a salad.

Put water in it and freeze it, and create an elongated ice cube for those times when you have a long glass and only the top part would be cooled by the lesser ice garnish.

you could use two if you need to trudge through some marshes.

Fill it with sand and use it to stun burglars.

Or with oranges, with which to bludgeon baby seals.

The site won't let me give out any more chubbies, dangit! There's been so many great comments.

A person could don them as non-conductive socks in such an occasion as walking on a monorail track.

Filled with air and tied off, it could be used as a makeshift pillow as long as you didn't think too hard.

no sharp thoughts

They could be used as a quick substitute for a waving-arms balloon in front of a car dealership.

perhaps it's big enough for a small bubble boy to live in.

It could be a convenient sleeping-bag for your favourite Mermaid.

Panels 2-4 make me laugh every time. The condom unrolls, beef picks it up to inspect it, and then comments on it. As if he couldn't comment on it when it first unrolled.

It could be used as a condom by a giant with a proportionally small ding-dong.

I just love Ray and Andretti's reactions to a gigantic condom magically appearing in Beef's hands.

It could be used as a bald character in your Sock Puppet show.

Appropriately whimsical balloon poodles/ dachsunds/ giraffes.

It was a 4 until I caught the "Free Earplugs"
Philippe and this strip are both five.

Attached to a basketball hoop and used as a butterfly net.

If it's white, poke 2 holes in it and you have a ghost costume for a small animal.

It could be used as a prophylactic for an extremely large penis.

In Japanese daikon-ashi or daikon legs is slang for cankles or pasty thick calves.

/Answer to question no-one was asking

You could wear it as a tie for formal occasions. (Added Bonus! Store your pennies in it so the valet won't take them.)