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Simon arrives in Achewood Friday, August 4, 2006 • read strip Viewing 76 comments:

I almost take offense at that. I'm gay, and I love hot sauce.

I bet you don't waste money on it, though. Straight people are deficient in that way, I guess, all spendin' too much money for hot sauce or something.

yo- it's true -I spend one metric shitload of loot on Sriracha...
[IMGS OFF]

Delicious.

the best hot sause. spice and flavour.

sauce. what the hell.

don't fret. i just imagined it pronounced, "sah-oos" when you said it. awesome.

A comment left by godfatherofsouls was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, all-star951, almightygosh)

'Round these parts, we call that "Cock Sauce."

We call that cock sauce where I'm from.

i call that cock a rooster.(lame? i care not.)

You, my friend, are buying it at the wrong places. Or using way too fucking much . I can get 17 oz for $3 at the Korean grocery across the street.

"Capitol Punishment" chipotle-habanero sauce with some guy strapped to an electric chair on the bottle. Straight dudes eat that stuff by the gallon cause they are wondering where their vestigial dongs are at.

Gay people get their hot sauce from eBay Homosexual Reserve.

I get my hot sauce from the Achewood store.

A comment left by retardo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, straw, Norsef, Thorfinn, SchnappM, DeimosRising, barfighting, equinn2006, waldo913, Sargasm, HolyQ, DrSkradley, mira, luckypyjamas, aHatOfPig, davidadam, Afkpuz, suprememongoose, eRiUukFJk, scraggg, lastlarf, Arcibi, stormagnet, slalvation)

Not that he's around anymore, but i always wondered how much of this guy's shit was just to fuck with people.

we have some sort of conformation that retardo has moved on to greener (gayer) pastures?

Does it matter? It was funny stuff, for the most part. Thank you, retardo, wherever you are.

Definitely a camp post.

Pat's dad's hair looks EXACTLY like the hair of my previous boss, who was gay. Later, when Pat has been out for a while, he is basically the cartoon cat version of my old boss. I felt a little cold when I saw it, because it was like Onstad was also working in that seafood restaurant that summer.

How do you know he was not? You don't know, do you? Onstad is a crazy guy, I hear - maybe he WAS trying to mess with your mind.

"Whoops! Why do I keep puttin those up there, anyway?"

I'm surprised Cornelius knew that's Michael Jackson's move, and cared enough to identify it.

Connie is a man with hidden depths.

Long ago, in another life, he was an AD on The Abominable Dr. Phibes, and has followed Vincent Price's career with interest ever since.

Michael Jackson will be found dead in three days' time.

This is a PREDICTION!

A comment left by neitherman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by twohundredninety, mortshire, angelaw6745, seren_tremio, echidnaboy)

Wouldn't that imply that your roomate is heterosexual? So I take it that you are female and have been assuming your roomate is a gay man and therefore not attracted to you? I don't know what is going on here.

No, I would imply that gay men be frontin' by buying loads of hot sauce. I guess I interpreted Simon's line differently. However, the situation you have painted is comical, good sir.

I am very much creating a comic book character who is an extreme purchaser of hot sauce by day and a serial gay rapist at night

Oh my GOD YES.

Which is both my response to your idea and the first line of dialog in issue #1.

Okay I understand now Neitherman.

You know, I buy quite a bit of hot sauce myself... am I...

... a badminton player?

My favourite part is the implication that gay men are dangerous to have around, to the same extent as, say, someone who killed nine men in the French Foreign Legion.

"Don't go to sleep near Lucid Coster, he'll eat one of your eyeballs. But at least he's straight."

Dirt Man Idiot is a cool guy with good music, but he cannot for the life of him think up a new move.

I love the running gag of Ray putting a martini up on his monitor while talking on the phone, and it falling off a few panels later.

I didn't even notice that. Kudos to you, sir.

i...

man what

but what is his arm doing on that panel in these running gags? It always looked odd to me.

I think he's reaching out to try to grab it as it falls. He was too slow.

Sorry to reply to your comment of a year ago, but I think he is just giving a thumbs-down to the whole turn of events.

There's no need to apologize. But if he's giving a thumbs-down, it's a very poor thumbs-down. There's hardly any thumb at all.

I...

...

...give his thumbs-down a thumbs-down.

"Stop wasting money on hot sauce and posters" Excellent. I like hot sauce but my fat straight brother in law actually collects the dang stuff, like there's more than five varieties of hot. After you get that stuff in the black cottle from belize, you're done. Mind you; he does have a ramped up yellow hummer, a eight-foot HD TV and twelve pounds of decomposing meat in his bowels at all times.

In fairness, 12 pounds of meat in your bowels is usually a sign that you're gay.

you deserve a pulitzer for that comment.

Or at least a Chubbitzer.

I feel bad for chubbing that comment.

That comment is a guilty pleasure.

That's absurd. Everyone knows that the best hot sauce in Belize is Marie Sharps' habanero with the carrot base. Marie Sharps' black label with the lime (ooooh, original) is a blatantly inferior sauce, and the stuff is $12 for five ounces if you have it shipped to you in the States. Honestly, how did he miss this information? It's on every marriage license.

Gladdington Castle? More like Glaadington Castle.

Can anyone see what I just did there?

I C WUT U DID THAR

Shame on you. Even if you have Nakoruru as your avatar.

I know. I know. But someone had to say it..

did you notice that every time someone says this, they are wrong wrong wrong ?

I have a unisex Paco Rabanne cologne that I wear on days when I am feeling androgynous.

Ray greets Simon and immediately notices his watch.

Ray compliments Simon's watch before Simon even says a word.

Ray appreciates Nice things.

The things is, Achewood actually does a pretty good business in hot sauce and posters.

My mind is blown.

oh shit I have bottles of Ray's Rad Chilis in my pantry. Oh Shiiiit!

This is the first time I've ever used "Random comic", and it has given me the first Achewood I ever read.

THIS IS SO WACKYYYYYY

Your comment and avatar completely match.

Also, I agree, that shit is wacky.

Does the way Ray basically left Cornelius stranded on his other line while he went off to chum with Simon stress anyone else out? Man, Ray. Not cool.

its not as if it were unexpected. those people know ray and the way he operates...

Simon does not comment on the watch because he recognizes it is a reflex for Ray to complement watches, as if that were part of a standard North American Greeting.

45000th view

grats

That's Michael's move.

Sorry, Dirt Man Idiot. Even post 6/25/09 its still Michael's move...

it is crazy.

"...read peoples energy more shrewdly..."-is that that " gaydar thing people talk about?

I love Simon

Do you know that he is gay?

Can't a man love another man without bein' gay? Plus the guy's just likable. Down to earth. A sensible man.

Wow, I never noticed til now that while Ray is on the phone with Beef, he puts his martini on top of his monitor, it falls, and he gets upset and cleans it up. That's just some awesome detailing right there.