mr_pete +5 -0
This is the closest thing I have yet seen to classic laffs-in-the-last-panel comic here.

twotonturkey +13 -0
Hehe, Bill Callahan is also a supremely bummed out indie folk singer

randombeing +14 -1
You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch, you beat me to a Smog joke by six entire months, basically.

norrec +0 -0
That comment works quite well with your avatar

jonmw +0 -0
yours... does not

hipjiverobot +0 -0
Look who's talking.

squares +1 -0
TOO

caseyb3 +1 -0
THE SIOUX

gunsofray +0 -0
says the guy with the (talking?) potato avatar

i_love_kate +1 -0
Bill Callahan is the lucky son-of-a-bitch who's dating Joanna Newsom.

sweetlips +0 -0
Not any more, friend! She's now dating that Andy Sanberg or whatever from SNL.

i_love_kate +5 -0
Clearly I've been neglecting my Newsom-stalkage. I'm sorry Joanna. You can still expect your anonymous Christmas present. Though secretly you will know who it is from.

tekende +1 -0
Why would anyone want to date her? I can only imagine the horrible noises she must make during coitus.

fineoakstructure +0 -0
Says the guy who's all about Tori fucking Amos.

tekende +0 -0
Tori Amos has a much, much, much, much better singing voice than Joanna Newsom. Tori Amos does not give me a headache with her music. Tori Amos is also much better looking than Joanna Newsom.

fineoakstructure +0 -1
I'm not going to bother getting into this kind of argument (I think I already have, once, on assetbar?), but I'm just going to say that the little high pitch vocal thing Tori Amos does on "Crucify" (ooh, she's a minister's daughter and she wrote a song with the words "Crucify myself!") makes me want to step hard on cats, you know, grinding the heal in some shit-kicker boots and everything, because that would probably makes Tori Amos really angry somehow and that's the only way I could get back at her.

Also, I don't listen to music because the maker is pretty.

To each his own, I suppose.

anticitizen +0 -0
i can hang with a dude who a.) makes Smog jokes and b.) is so damn fiery about it.

anabanananana +1 -0
Bill Callahan is also a really bad football coach.

epicurus +5 -0
When I was five I would have paid a lot of money that I did not have for this call.

rotating-dog +4 -0
Proof that trawling the archive provides forgotten one-shot gems.

tetrisattack +10 -0
Alt text: what are you wearing right now / my police uniform and cop hat

paperboy_2000 +38 -0
Oh, man. Place this ad in your local paper. Replace the phone number with the local police station number. Hilarity ensues. (until you are arrested)

snowman +0 -0
why did this not get more chubbies

rowboat +0 -0
Alt text to the rescue.

phthoggos +0 -0
Teodor's bemused eyebrows are excellent.

shoinan +0 -0
Knowing Teodor he probably called them up again afterwards.

grayfox +0 -0
Anyone dialed this number yet?

bjorntd +2 -0
No. But I'm about to!

catgrl131 +1 -0
Well, it's been two months.
How'd it go?

bjorntd +1 -0
Meh.

catgrl131 +1 -0
What do you mean? Did you gat to chat with a cop? Did you even get an answer?
DETAILS, PEOPLE!

bjorntd +13 -0
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE RELATIONSHIP OFFICER VASQUEZ AND I HAVE.

invidious +4 -0
Officer Vasquez would not wear a police hat in the shower! Applesauce!

andyboy +0 -0
$3.95/min

greenkoolayd +0 -0
even though 911 is a joke, its still cheaper than that...

mustakrakesh +0 -0
Is anybody else wondering how much the P. Diddy Song of the Day costs?

tehfluffeh +3 -0
Oh, just your dignity.

wallabeechamp +0 -1
I wasn't, but I am now!

sje46 +0 -0
Lame.

random_shorts +0 -0
Is there anything that is NOT lame to you, sje46? I postulate that the answer is, in fact, no.

sje46 +0 -0
wallabee went on a laming spree, right down assetbar, two months ago, so I lamed a bunch of his comments.

random_shorts +0 -0
Completely logical. Teaches me to open my mouth.

I didn't even notice it was all directed at the same person.