fineoakstructure
+6 -0
Krzysztof Kieslowski Makes a Porno
Krzysztof Kieslowski Makes a Porno
wilbur
+36 -0
Dekalogjammin'
Dekalogjammin'
blastradius
+0 -0
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by implode, lumley, hardelicious, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by implode, lumley, hardelicious, Panserbjorne)
cbtbone
+1 -0
What, you mean...coitus?
What, you mean...coitus?
sweetlips
+0 -0
You mean... Cunnilingus
You mean... Cunnilingus
zhankfor
+14 -0
Perhaps Gulagjammin' ?
Perhaps Gulagjammin' ?
dangelder
+5 -0
Gulagjammin! What news from the North?
Gulagjammin! What news from the North?
zwab
+6 -0
Gulagjammin' 2: Archipelagirl Next Door
Gulagjammin' 2: Archipelagirl Next Door
anticitizen
+0 -0
A comment left by anticitizen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Howard, Ham_Shoes, ghoti)
A comment left by anticitizen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Howard, Ham_Shoes, ghoti)
mo_rose
+0 -0
Gulagjammin' 1: Gulagjammin' Too?
Gulagjammin' 1: Gulagjammin' Too?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Gulagjammin' 2: This Time It's Not Gulagjammin' 1!
Gulagjammin' 2: This Time It's Not Gulagjammin' 1!
belgand
+11 -0
Gulagjammin'3:The Gulag is jammed so full that we just take you out and shoot you in the head and leave your body bleeding in the snow.
Gulagjammin'3:The Gulag is jammed so full that we just take you out and shoot you in the head and leave your body bleeding in the snow.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
belgand: working rough chuckles since...i don't know.
belgand: working rough chuckles since...i don't know.
belgand
+1 -1
I basically work entirely in the medium of rough chuckles.
I'm still testing a new, rougher type of chuckle that doesn't isn't just rough, but actually forces itself on you despite your protests. The ForceChuckle, as I am currently calling it, is not yet ready for general use, but early studies are going rather well. Prepare for a new era of being raped by humour.
I basically work entirely in the medium of rough chuckles.
I'm still testing a new, rougher type of chuckle that doesn't isn't just rough, but actually forces itself on you despite your protests. The ForceChuckle, as I am currently calling it, is not yet ready for general use, but early studies are going rather well. Prepare for a new era of being raped by humour.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dammit belgand, I almost called it the RapeChuckle until I realized you already had.
Genius though!
Dammit belgand, I almost called it the RapeChuckle until I realized you already had.
Genius though!
belgand
+0 -0
Prepare to have your tender young anus invaded by a pun so deviously clever that you cannot help but laugh at it even as it savages you in a manner that you find most unpleasant.
This is where we get the secondary effect of you hating yourself for laughing at it.
I'm in initial talks to see if I can get it delivered by Simon Pegg.
Prepare to have your tender young anus invaded by a pun so deviously clever that you cannot help but laugh at it even as it savages you in a manner that you find most unpleasant.
This is where we get the secondary effect of you hating yourself for laughing at it.
I'm in initial talks to see if I can get it delivered by Simon Pegg.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Oh, belgand gets a chubby from me for this. Oh, yes he does.
Oh, belgand gets a chubby from me for this. Oh, yes he does.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is basic idea.
Is basic idea.
implode
+0 -0
(undertext): The Serious Gulagjammin'!
(undertext): The Serious Gulagjammin'!
belgand
+0 -0
Is most definitely an Adult Film with Mature Situations occurring all the time.
Is most definitely an Adult Film with Mature Situations occurring all the time.
oingoboingirl
+6 -0
"You can imagine where it goes from there"
"He throws her into a forced labor camp?"
"You can imagine where it goes from there"
"He throws her into a forced labor camp?"
tekende
+0 -0
Don't be fatuous, oingoboingirl.
Don't be fatuous, oingoboingirl.
anticitizen
+1 -0
connielingus ?
connielingus ?
quantumcasaba
+2 -0
Colonel Angus?
My, my, he's such a gentleman.
Colonel Angus?
My, my, he's such a gentleman.
spectre
+0 -0
The Irish National Airline is "Aer Lingus". I always wanted a ride on Aer Lingus.
The Irish National Airline is "Aer Lingus". I always wanted a ride on Aer Lingus.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You've never heard the old joke about Continental Airlines and Aer Lingus merging, apparently.
You've never heard the old joke about Continental Airlines and Aer Lingus merging, apparently.
fermatprime
+0 -0
Coitus that I...
... BONED?
Coitus that I...
... BONED?
hamscout
+2 -0
Vat is it that you vish us to get? Don't feel Red, White and Blue...
[IMGS OFF]
Vat is it that you vish us to get? Don't feel Red, White and Blue...
[IMGS OFF]
irondave
+0 -0
Did you fix the cable?
Did you fix the cable?
qingofchina
+1 -0
No that is his cable. It takes a special kind of woman.
No that is his cable. It takes a special kind of woman.
stereo
+1 -0
On the other hand, he can use the extra badass snakeskin condoms.
On the other hand, he can use the extra badass snakeskin condoms.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
anticitizen
+2 -0
"You see, the hammer is my penis."
"You see, the hammer is my penis."
theguitarhero
+1 -2
Doctor Horrible was so awesomely cliched.
I don't want to spoil it for everyone, but I saw the ending coming by the end of the second act. I was hoping Joss Whedon would be better than that, but he wasn't.
NPH basically saved it, though. Nathan Fillion is a good actor but he can't sing worth shit, and the only redeeming factor of his character in that is that it's basically a parody of Nathan Fillion's persona.
Doctor Horrible was so awesomely cliched.
I don't want to spoil it for everyone, but I saw the ending coming by the end of the second act. I was hoping Joss Whedon would be better than that, but he wasn't.
NPH basically saved it, though. Nathan Fillion is a good actor but he can't sing worth shit, and the only redeeming factor of his character in that is that it's basically a parody of Nathan Fillion's persona.
fermatprime
+0 -0
But dude(tte)... Another Joss Whedon musical . And if the ending's fairly standard Whedon, it's still good by the standards of 99% of the shit Hollywood puts out.
It's like Achewood; I'm no big fan of the current arc by Achewood standards, but I'll follow along, simply because it's so much better than virtually any other comic I could read (N.B.: This may well change with Gaiman's Batman two-parter.) Similarly, while Dr. Horrible doesn't begin to compare with Firefly, it's still Joss Whedon, and therefore gets a 20 bonus to Awesome.
But dude(tte)... Another Joss Whedon musical . And if the ending's fairly standard Whedon, it's still good by the standards of 99% of the shit Hollywood puts out.
It's like Achewood; I'm no big fan of the current arc by Achewood standards, but I'll follow along, simply because it's so much better than virtually any other comic I could read (N.B.: This may well change with Gaiman's Batman two-parter.) Similarly, while Dr. Horrible doesn't begin to compare with Firefly, it's still Joss Whedon, and therefore gets a 20 bonus to Awesome.
fermatprime
+0 -0
Dear Assetbar,
Fuck you and your aversion to plus signs. that's a (plus)20 bonus.
Regards,
Fermatprime
Dear Assetbar,
Fuck you and your aversion to plus signs. that's a (plus)20 bonus.
Regards,
Fermatprime
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Regardless, I except something bigger. The ending kinda fell flat, minus the ending musical montage.
I kinda wanted her to also be a villain-in-training.
Regardless, I except something bigger. The ending kinda fell flat, minus the ending musical montage.
I kinda wanted her to also be a villain-in-training.
invidious
+1 -0
I was satisfied with the ending as soon as I saw that Bad Horse was, indeed, an actual horse.
I was satisfied with the ending as soon as I saw that Bad Horse was, indeed, an actual horse.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Bad Horse!
I'm gonna watch it again tonight.
Bad Horse!
I'm gonna watch it again tonight.
stereo
+1 -1
I didn't realize it was the end cause nobody told me there were only 3 parts. So it goes.
I didn't realize it was the end cause nobody told me there were only 3 parts. So it goes.
belgand
+0 -0
Also we need to note how astoundingly hot Felicia Day was in that. I mean, I have my own plans on becoming an evil super-scientist, but she would totally be all the reason I would ever need.
Also we need to note how astoundingly hot Felicia Day was in that. I mean, I have my own plans on becoming an evil super-scientist, but she would totally be all the reason I would ever need.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh yes indeedy.
Oh yes indeedy.
anticitizen
+0 -0
that's the most romantic thing i ever did hear.
that's the most romantic thing i ever did hear.
belgand
+0 -0
You obviously haven't heard "Skullcrusher Mountain" then.
You obviously haven't heard "Skullcrusher Mountain" then.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
that woman inhumanly gorgeous.
that woman inhumanly gorgeous.
belgand
+0 -0
But those of us who do will appreciate it even more. This is way of makink best reference. Is not for everyone, but is no big deal. Maybe they will better themselves in order to appreciate it, maybe not, the important thing is that it is there.
But those of us who do will appreciate it even more. This is way of makink best reference. Is not for everyone, but is no big deal. Maybe they will better themselves in order to appreciate it, maybe not, the important thing is that it is there.
zapatos
+0 -0
The most clever analogy is the one fewest understand.
The most clever analogy is the one fewest understand.
belgand
+0 -0
Not necessarily. I'm also just saying that you don't need to render everything for the lowest common denominator. You have a good reference to make? Make the best one you can. If everyone does not appreciate it, well, it was the best one that could be made and those of us who get it will laugh all the more heartily for it.
But there is no time to discuss that now. I have come from the North bearing news of the most critical import....
Not necessarily. I'm also just saying that you don't need to render everything for the lowest common denominator. You have a good reference to make? Make the best one you can. If everyone does not appreciate it, well, it was the best one that could be made and those of us who get it will laugh all the more heartily for it.
But there is no time to discuss that now. I have come from the North bearing news of the most critical import....
zapatos
+0 -0
My friend Joel said something similar to what I said, only he worded it better. Everyone broke into a large argument, it was awesome.
Sometimes people appreciate what you say, other times they do not. It happens eh.
My friend Joel said something similar to what I said, only he worded it better. Everyone broke into a large argument, it was awesome.
Sometimes people appreciate what you say, other times they do not. It happens eh.
belgand
+0 -0
Get him! He's being Canadian at me! Probably one of them dirty Newfies too.
Get him! He's being Canadian at me! Probably one of them dirty Newfies too.
zapatos
+0 -0
Man I just got out of the shower, I'm not dirty.
Not right now.
Man I just got out of the shower, I'm not dirty.
Not right now.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
give him a second
give him a second
zapatos
+0 -0
alright now i'm dirty.
one hour ago? holy shit there are so many comments.
alright now i'm dirty.
one hour ago? holy shit there are so many comments.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
CUT! CUT,CUT!!
Way less pathos on that *sigh*. And kill the backhand across the brow, please.
CUT! CUT,CUT!!
Way less pathos on that *sigh*. And kill the backhand across the brow, please.
mikossuave
+1 -0
double-teaming veronique
double-teaming veronique
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
This is basically the reason that the one-chubby-per-post system is flawed. I would give this all my chubbies if I could.
Quote:
Dekalogjammin'
This is basically the reason that the one-chubby-per-post system is flawed. I would give this all my chubbies if I could.
farqussus
+1 -0
I am split between wanting to understand but not wanting to appear to be the Philistine I really am. Clearly it was not an even split, hence this post.
I am split between wanting to understand but not wanting to appear to be the Philistine I really am. Clearly it was not an even split, hence this post.
hamscout
+0 -0
That is fair, since the reference is not an even split:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Decalogue]Fourty Percent[/url] / Fourty Percent / Twenty Percent
That is fair, since the reference is not an even split:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Decalogue]Fourty Percent[/url] / Fourty Percent / Twenty Percent
hamscout
+0 -0
Note, also, how Assetbar split my first link... FUCK!
(If that link doesn't work, you'll have to paste & load to taste the deliciousness of the irony.)
Note, also, how Assetbar split my first link... FUCK!
(If that link doesn't work, you'll have to paste & load to taste the deliciousness of the irony.)
quantumcasaba
+5 -0
Booty economics: It works pretty okay some of the time.
Booty economics: It works pretty okay some of the time.
freelancelove
+6 -0
That is contrary to the message your avatar is telling, my friend.
That is contrary to the message your avatar is telling, my friend.
deusoma
+0 -0
I-I'm so confused! The signals! They're mixing! Now I don't know whose word to take at face value!
I-I'm so confused! The signals! They're mixing! Now I don't know whose word to take at face value!
gormster
+0 -0
Are you saying it's not lupus?
Are you saying it's not lupus?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
it's never lupus.
it's never lupus.
dougthehead
+1 -0
I'm pretty sure in this case Booty Economics will not work, mostly because Connie has nothing Ray can't get, besides a hot stripper girlfriend. If I'm reading this right (and that's no guarantee), Ray is going to use his newfound leverage with Cornelius to place even bigger bets on their pool games, and therefore lose even larger amounts of money. And that's assuming that Cornelius (a) thinks that having sex at Ray's place would be good times, (b) feels indebted to Ray for making it happen, and (c) hasn't already left in a huff. None of these seem very likely, so it looks like this is one Ray Smuckles scheme that's going into the RE-THINK AND MAYBE TRY AGAIN LATER IF I REMEMBER box.
I'm pretty sure in this case Booty Economics will not work, mostly because Connie has nothing Ray can't get, besides a hot stripper girlfriend. If I'm reading this right (and that's no guarantee), Ray is going to use his newfound leverage with Cornelius to place even bigger bets on their pool games, and therefore lose even larger amounts of money. And that's assuming that Cornelius (a) thinks that having sex at Ray's place would be good times, (b) feels indebted to Ray for making it happen, and (c) hasn't already left in a huff. None of these seem very likely, so it looks like this is one Ray Smuckles scheme that's going into the RE-THINK AND MAYBE TRY AGAIN LATER IF I REMEMBER box.
belgand
+2 -0
It will work though. Cornelius is likely only turning down Ray's generous wager as he feels slightly bad about fleecing him so badly. Once offended he will perhaps have less reason to feel upset about taking his crass, boundary-crossing money.
It will work though. Cornelius is likely only turning down Ray's generous wager as he feels slightly bad about fleecing him so badly. Once offended he will perhaps have less reason to feel upset about taking his crass, boundary-crossing money.
wozzeck
+0 -2
"Boundary-crossing money" has now entered my lexicon.
"Boundary-crossing money" has now entered my lexicon.
wozzeck
+2 -0
Ray can get a hot (stripper) girlfriend.
Ray can not get a classy (stripper) girlfriend.
Ray can get a hot (stripper) girlfriend.
Ray can not get a classy (stripper) girlfriend.
utv
+0 -0
Was it ever explained where Vlad came from while Ray was entertaining? I kind of like the notion that Ray may have abandoned his dinner guests to seek advice from his suave Russian robot friend.
Also, I am a little dismayed to see that it has been long time since the king of the make outs has been preparink lover's nest with antler and nest of dove.
Was it ever explained where Vlad came from while Ray was entertaining? I kind of like the notion that Ray may have abandoned his dinner guests to seek advice from his suave Russian robot friend.
Also, I am a little dismayed to see that it has been long time since the king of the make outs has been preparink lover's nest with antler and nest of dove.
hateandwar
+12 -0
Is only for truly special occasions. For man of Cornelius' age, a love making must be truly special.
At moment of climax, as lovers come together and shudder in delight, eggs in nest begin to hatch. Mother bird flies through open window, heaving food to her new babies. The cycle of life, she begins anew as the miracle of love winds down beneath them.
A bird willingly rests over the bows of this event.
Is only for truly special occasions. For man of Cornelius' age, a love making must be truly special.
At moment of climax, as lovers come together and shudder in delight, eggs in nest begin to hatch. Mother bird flies through open window, heaving food to her new babies. The cycle of life, she begins anew as the miracle of love winds down beneath them.
A bird willingly rests over the bows of this event.
hateandwar
+45 -0
And maybe I guess a moose watches them fuck.
And maybe I guess a moose watches them fuck.
theguitarhero
+3 -0
Says the moose.
Says the moose.
featurelessvoid
+4 -0
Space Moose doesn't just watch. Space Moose shouts out requests.
Space Moose doesn't just watch. Space Moose shouts out requests.
hateandwar
+0 -1
Dear christ, I ain't even realize that. I forget about dear Space Moose.
I remember when I first discovered Space Moose. I was 14, and the entire concept struck me as genius. At the time, I couldn't imagine a comic quite as entertaining.
The weird thing about it was that the author was a very intelligent person who I beleive has a doctorate in biomedical engineering. The idea that he spent part of his college career penning a comic about a socially deranged moose who thinks nothing of raping his closest friends just adds to the overall hilarity. I learned more words for boners and bodily excretions than I ever thought I would need that summer. It was a truly special time.
Dear christ, I ain't even realize that. I forget about dear Space Moose.
I remember when I first discovered Space Moose. I was 14, and the entire concept struck me as genius. At the time, I couldn't imagine a comic quite as entertaining.
The weird thing about it was that the author was a very intelligent person who I beleive has a doctorate in biomedical engineering. The idea that he spent part of his college career penning a comic about a socially deranged moose who thinks nothing of raping his closest friends just adds to the overall hilarity. I learned more words for boners and bodily excretions than I ever thought I would need that summer. It was a truly special time.
belgand
+2 -0
That is actually the main way of us science types. There are some who are dull, dry, unpleasant squares, but most are pretty awesome. Never underestimate the wily scientist.
That is actually the main way of us science types. There are some who are dull, dry, unpleasant squares, but most are pretty awesome. Never underestimate the wily scientist.
zapatos
+0 -0
Dr Wily?
Dr Wily?
belgand
+0 -0
Technically he's a roboticist so he's more of an engineer than anything.
Technically he's a roboticist so he's more of an engineer than anything.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Wile E. Coyote?
Wile E. Coyote?
davey-boy
+9 -0
Technically, he is a coyote.
Technically, he is a coyote.
belgand
+0 -0
He's also more of an engineer or perhaps merely a technologist.
He's also more of an engineer or perhaps merely a technologist.
davey-boy
+1 -0
He orders things from a catalogue. He is more of a canid.
He orders things from a catalogue. He is more of a canid.
belgand
+2 -0
Or a grad student. This also follows because he repeatedly suffers the consequences of the disastrous failure. See also: Beaker.
If he keeps at it he can look forward to spending about eight year or so as a post-doc and then maybe, if he's very lucky, a tenure-track position at an out-of-the-way school that nobody will ever want to go to and you will hate yourself for living in such a terrible, miserable little town out in Buggery, ID.
Or a grad student. This also follows because he repeatedly suffers the consequences of the disastrous failure. See also: Beaker.
If he keeps at it he can look forward to spending about eight year or so as a post-doc and then maybe, if he's very lucky, a tenure-track position at an out-of-the-way school that nobody will ever want to go to and you will hate yourself for living in such a terrible, miserable little town out in Buggery, ID.
davey-boy
+0 -1
No, you don't get it.
You see, the great thing about the Road Runner Show, is that the coyote is hungry, and wants to eat the bird. We suspend disbelief as he is given to extravegant means to do so by an unnamed benefactor. And that's it!
No, you don't get it.
You see, the great thing about the Road Runner Show, is that the coyote is hungry, and wants to eat the bird. We suspend disbelief as he is given to extravegant means to do so by an unnamed benefactor. And that's it!
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Willy scientist - an entirely different thing.
Willy scientist - an entirely different thing.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
foea
+0 -0
For just a moment, I thought you'd managed to manifest two different usicons. I was impressed.
For just a moment, I thought you'd managed to manifest two different usicons. I was impressed.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
You've just given me an idea.
You've just given me an idea.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It's....it's great. You win.
It's....it's great. You win.
pogo
+0 -0
Now you're being a dick about being a dick, eh?
Now you're being a dick about being a dick, eh?
terebikun
+0 -0
Stop dicking around.
Stop dicking around.
belgand
+0 -0
Stop rounding my dick!
I know it's not a whole number, but I'm fine with that. Just let it be.
Stop rounding my dick!
I know it's not a whole number, but I'm fine with that. Just let it be.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Than you ever thought you would need. Have they come in handy?
If so, my life has been a vacuous hole of simpering mediocrity and term papers.
Than you ever thought you would need. Have they come in handy?
If so, my life has been a vacuous hole of simpering mediocrity and term papers.
hateandwar
+0 -0
I've learned some rather tactful ways to describe a boner, yes.
Also there's one where he destroys a company that exclusively employs the mentally disabled and they all riot in nude agony.
I've learned some rather tactful ways to describe a boner, yes.
Also there's one where he destroys a company that exclusively employs the mentally disabled and they all riot in nude agony.
luckypyjamas
+3 -0
that just wan't even the least bit subtle
the important thing here is vlad's subtlety, the finesse with which he approaches the love-making process
have some decency man
that just wan't even the least bit subtle
the important thing here is vlad's subtlety, the finesse with which he approaches the love-making process
have some decency man
stereo
+0 -0
It's not so much subtlety as approaching the target from a completely unexpected angle. They don't see you coming, but it's only cause they didn't look.
It's not so much subtlety as approaching the target from a completely unexpected angle. They don't see you coming, but it's only cause they didn't look.
luckypyjamas
+0 -0
i think it is not an entirely uncommon problem between lovers that one does not see the other coming
i think it is not an entirely uncommon problem between lovers that one does not see the other coming
mattylite
+2 -0
That's why you need to moose. Somebody's gotta see it.
That's why you need to moose. Somebody's gotta see it.
mattylite
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
kickstart
+0 -0
daahhhh--I chubbed that...
daahhhh--I chubbed that...
gazdatronik
+5 -0
Vlad is Polish. In an earlier strip, he mentions pierogi. In russian it is a vareniki. Anglosized, Vlad would have called a dumpling. He may have used it as a slang term for Pirozhki, which is made of leavened bread and is considered a pie, which can still be enjoyed by friends, but I think he meant the standard issue pierogi you can purchase at the store, which oddly enough is polish but based on a Russian recipe(Potato, cheese and onion.) I am Czech.
Vlad is Polish. In an earlier strip, he mentions pierogi. In russian it is a vareniki. Anglosized, Vlad would have called a dumpling. He may have used it as a slang term for Pirozhki, which is made of leavened bread and is considered a pie, which can still be enjoyed by friends, but I think he meant the standard issue pierogi you can purchase at the store, which oddly enough is polish but based on a Russian recipe(Potato, cheese and onion.) I am Czech.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
I've argued this before (there are subscriber strips that further point to his Polishness), but I think that Onstad has since tried to make him just vaguely Eastern European and of no real ethnicity (the Volgidania stuff from the wedding arc).
Cheers for the info, though, checkers.
I've argued this before (there are subscriber strips that further point to his Polishness), but I think that Onstad has since tried to make him just vaguely Eastern European and of no real ethnicity (the Volgidania stuff from the wedding arc).
Cheers for the info, though, checkers.
belgand
+0 -0
Yes, I also give you wishings of wellness for your impartment of knowledges unto me.
I think maybe Vlad is being a robot and not necessarily from Poland or anywhere in Eastern Europe. He is just programmed to be, well, a Vlad . Is a model of robot you see. Some want Lie Bot, some want Chucklebot, some want a Vlad.
Yes, I also give you wishings of wellness for your impartment of knowledges unto me.
I think maybe Vlad is being a robot and not necessarily from Poland or anywhere in Eastern Europe. He is just programmed to be, well, a Vlad . Is a model of robot you see. Some want Lie Bot, some want Chucklebot, some want a Vlad.
zapatos
+0 -0
Nobody wants an Andy.
Nobody wants an Andy.
belgand
+1 -0
Sales on Andy are low, but absolutely nobody has ever wanted a Stuart. We couldn't move those if we gave them away with orgasms.
Sales on Andy are low, but absolutely nobody has ever wanted a Stuart. We couldn't move those if we gave them away with orgasms.
zapatos
+0 -0
I am an unmovable force.
I am an unmovable force.
stereo
+0 -0
By the way, I got your email. Thanks :)
By the way, I got your email. Thanks :)
zapatos
+0 -0
Awesome!
You should send one back, we can be e-buddies!
what the fuck are ebuddies?
Awesome!
You should send one back, we can be e-buddies!
what the fuck are ebuddies?
stereo
+0 -0
I don't actually know how to send email from that account, it forwards into another one.
I don't actually know how to send email from that account, it forwards into another one.
belgand
+0 -0
I would have sent you some, but I had nothing to say so I just quietly saved it to an Assetbar group. We must now use Zapatos as our hub. We will sandwich him with our e-Love.
I would have sent you some, but I had nothing to say so I just quietly saved it to an Assetbar group. We must now use Zapatos as our hub. We will sandwich him with our e-Love.
redphillip
+0 -0
This might actually make his day/night. Though to make him really happy a few of the Assetbarristas need to pile on too.
This might actually make his day/night. Though to make him really happy a few of the Assetbarristas need to pile on too.
zapatos
+0 -0
honestly yes, yes it would.
honestly yes, yes it would.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
buttBUHddies
buttBUHddies
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
Dear stereo,
I could see your true beauty even through your Christian Bale icon. A fool would have missed it. Baby, I'm ready to be the only man who looks at your secret junk.
-=Zapatos!=-
I could see your true beauty even through your Christian Bale icon. A fool would have missed it. Baby, I'm ready to be the only man who looks at your secret junk.
-=Zapatos!=-
stereo
+1 -0
More like Quote:
More like Quote:
I hope you are not tricking me Stereo.
zapatos
+0 -0
That was private! Between you and me!
Also I was not tricked.
That was private! Between you and me!
Also I was not tricked.
zapatos
+0 -0
I understand the reference, but I will say:
Through the Christian Bale icon?
I understand the reference, but I will say:
Through the Christian Bale icon?
tekende
+0 -0
I like Andy. He seems a pretty laid-back guy. Good for those times when you want to hang out but want the evening to be simple, like watching a DVD or two and just chilling, you know?
I like Andy. He seems a pretty laid-back guy. Good for those times when you want to hang out but want the evening to be simple, like watching a DVD or two and just chilling, you know?
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
I want Andy...
I want Andy...
kickstart
+2 -0
I know a 'bot who's tough but sweet
I know a 'bot who's tough but sweet
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's all a part of my harebrained scheme.
it's all a part of my harebrained scheme.
singtralala
+0 -0
yes, i prefer vlad to be from an unidentified eastern european country. he's an excellent character and the mystery just adds up to the king of the makeouts' appeal
yes, i prefer vlad to be from an unidentified eastern european country. he's an excellent character and the mystery just adds up to the king of the makeouts' appeal
stereo
+0 -0
I feel his failures at makeouts to be highly unrealistic - I for one would immediately fall for his mysterious european charms.
I feel his failures at makeouts to be highly unrealistic - I for one would immediately fall for his mysterious european charms.
mystkmanat
+2 -0
EUROPE
EUROPE
paul9
+0 -0
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.
utv
+0 -0
Oh yeah, "pierogi at Vlad's? Not once!" Weird, I have sort of a vague recollection of Vlad being specifically Russian, but now can't think of a single strip to back this up. I actually am Polish, and enjoy the hell out of pierogi, but had no idea the Russians called it anything different.
Oh yeah, "pierogi at Vlad's? Not once!" Weird, I have sort of a vague recollection of Vlad being specifically Russian, but now can't think of a single strip to back this up. I actually am Polish, and enjoy the hell out of pierogi, but had no idea the Russians called it anything different.
withsriracha
+1 -0
Golumpki is also Polish. And delicious.
Golumpki is also Polish. And delicious.
belgand
+1 -0
All dumplings are delicious. It is the nature of being a dumpling. We need more of them. Always and constantly.
All dumplings are delicious. It is the nature of being a dumpling. We need more of them. Always and constantly.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Is that the same as Russian golubki? Boiled bell peppers stuffed with ground meat? Because that shit is disgusting. My grandma used to make me eat it.
I always generally feel kind of shafted when it comes to ethnic food. Like, yes, there are unique Russian/Ukranian dishes, but for the most part a typical Russian meal is chicken and mashed potatoes. And even the unique stuff we have is not that impressive - dumplings and little meat pies, big whoop, and you can only eat so much fried pork fat. The really good stuff like shashlyk and all sorts of yummy spicy meats come from the Caucasus region. It's a good thing we conquered all of them so their food can now be served at Russian restaurants.
Is that the same as Russian golubki? Boiled bell peppers stuffed with ground meat? Because that shit is disgusting. My grandma used to make me eat it.
I always generally feel kind of shafted when it comes to ethnic food. Like, yes, there are unique Russian/Ukranian dishes, but for the most part a typical Russian meal is chicken and mashed potatoes. And even the unique stuff we have is not that impressive - dumplings and little meat pies, big whoop, and you can only eat so much fried pork fat. The really good stuff like shashlyk and all sorts of yummy spicy meats come from the Caucasus region. It's a good thing we conquered all of them so their food can now be served at Russian restaurants.
belgand
+0 -0
Stuffed peppers, and for that matter, all non-red bell peppers are disgusting.
I am thankfully moving very near the Russian part of town. I shall need to try more Russian or at least, Russian-dominated, food.
Stuffed peppers, and for that matter, all non-red bell peppers are disgusting.
I am thankfully moving very near the Russian part of town. I shall need to try more Russian or at least, Russian-dominated, food.
zapatos
+0 -0
Orange Bell Peppers are passable, and the greens are only to be eaten raw. Fuck those tasteless yellow abominations.
Orange Bell Peppers are passable, and the greens are only to be eaten raw. Fuck those tasteless yellow abominations.
biff
+2 -0
To me, all bell peppers taste like something you shouldn't be eating, because they will poison you.
And there you will be, dead, the last thing you did in your life was eat something that tastes nasty.
I realize I am probably in a tiny minority here. Please note that I did not impugn the character of anyone who likes bell peppers.
To me, all bell peppers taste like something you shouldn't be eating, because they will poison you.
And there you will be, dead, the last thing you did in your life was eat something that tastes nasty.
I realize I am probably in a tiny minority here. Please note that I did not impugn the character of anyone who likes bell peppers.
zapatos
+0 -0
I hope you offended sje.
I hope you offended sje.
sje46
+0 -0
eff an entire thread and only one mention of me i must be losing my touch
eff an entire thread and only one mention of me i must be losing my touch
belgand
+0 -0
I'm with you on this. They taste very alkaline I think. That's what I have against most tomatoes unless they're processed in some form. I think I'm just very sensitive to that particular type of flavor.
Cooked red pepper can be enjoyed though. It took some time, but I've done it.
I'm with you on this. They taste very alkaline I think. That's what I have against most tomatoes unless they're processed in some form. I think I'm just very sensitive to that particular type of flavor.
Cooked red pepper can be enjoyed though. It took some time, but I've done it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I may be wrong, but in my experience they're all exactly the same. Green ones go yellow if you leave them on the stalk, then to orange, then red.
Granted, there is more sugar conversion by the time they are fully red.
They and all peppers are related to tomatoes, which are, in turn, familially related to deadly nightshade.
Does anyone not know the anecdote of the French chef in the White House who tried to assassinate George Washington with a stew made of tomatoes?
Pogo can tell it, I'm sure, since he is Historical
I may be wrong, but in my experience they're all exactly the same. Green ones go yellow if you leave them on the stalk, then to orange, then red.
Granted, there is more sugar conversion by the time they are fully red.
They and all peppers are related to tomatoes, which are, in turn, familially related to deadly nightshade.
Does anyone not know the anecdote of the French chef in the White House who tried to assassinate George Washington with a stew made of tomatoes?
Pogo can tell it, I'm sure, since he is Historical
belgand
+0 -0
Exactly. If you are eating a green pepper you are eating a disgustingly unripe pepper. It tastes like poison because it is!
Exactly. If you are eating a green pepper you are eating a disgustingly unripe pepper. It tastes like poison because it is!
foea
+0 -0
Your body reacts to anything spicy like it is poison. It releases endorphins and such to combat the perceived danger. This is why hot food is awesome.
Your body reacts to anything spicy like it is poison. It releases endorphins and such to combat the perceived danger. This is why hot food is awesome.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yes, and it is legal fun for the whole family. I gots me a whole freezer full of habaneros. Orange. Yellow. Red. You can smoke them, eat them, shoot them.
Yes, and it is legal fun for the whole family. I gots me a whole freezer full of habaneros. Orange. Yellow. Red. You can smoke them, eat them, shoot them.
shebajones
+1 -0
I fought my family on this through my childhood, and tried in earnest to learn to like them in my teenage years. When I became an adult, I said "Fuck this so-called food," because life is too short to be trying to eat goddamn bell peppers.
Uh, so yeah. Tiny minority. And my grandma calls them "mangoes" for reasons unknown.
I fought my family on this through my childhood, and tried in earnest to learn to like them in my teenage years. When I became an adult, I said "Fuck this so-called food," because life is too short to be trying to eat goddamn bell peppers.
Uh, so yeah. Tiny minority. And my grandma calls them "mangoes" for reasons unknown.
zapatos
+1 -0
It is because she is your grandmother.
It is because she is your grandmother.
dcnblues
+0 -0
There is a trick to bell peppers which is to cut away anything white on the interior. I never knew this until recently. Now I eat all the time believink me. Sweeet!
There is a trick to bell peppers which is to cut away anything white on the interior. I never knew this until recently. Now I eat all the time believink me. Sweeet!
belgand
+0 -0
I know this. It does not remove the fact that everything about them is terrible. It just makes them less pungent and spicy (not that there's much spice to be had to begin with). Removing the membrane is not enough.
I know this. It does not remove the fact that everything about them is terrible. It just makes them less pungent and spicy (not that there's much spice to be had to begin with). Removing the membrane is not enough.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I like green bell peppers.
Can...can you shut up now?
I like green bell peppers.
Can...can you shut up now?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you talking about eating them raw or something? Who does that? The only way I use them is by chopping them and putting them into omelets and stir-frys.
Are you talking about eating them raw or something? Who does that? The only way I use them is by chopping them and putting them into omelets and stir-frys.
biff
+0 -0
When you do that, the nasty taste diffuses through the entire dish, and things that tasted good before are tainted with the bell pepper nastiness.
I can't think of a better way to ruin an entire meal.
When you do that, the nasty taste diffuses through the entire dish, and things that tasted good before are tainted with the bell pepper nastiness.
I can't think of a better way to ruin an entire meal.
stereo
+0 -0
You're not very creative.
You're not very creative.
biff
+0 -0
I can't think of a better way that will result in people still serving it to me as if I would want to eat it.
I can't think of a better way that will result in people still serving it to me as if I would want to eat it.
belgand
+0 -0
I agree. I can taste bell peppers or mushrooms from the other side of a pizza I've split with someone else. Even their smell is almost enough to put me off.
Basically what I'm saying is that vegetables have absolutely no place on a pizza. Pineapple, not being a vegetable, is still OK though. Garlic might be the only exception and I can generally deal with spinach, but that's the limit.
I agree. I can taste bell peppers or mushrooms from the other side of a pizza I've split with someone else. Even their smell is almost enough to put me off.
Basically what I'm saying is that vegetables have absolutely no place on a pizza. Pineapple, not being a vegetable, is still OK though. Garlic might be the only exception and I can generally deal with spinach, but that's the limit.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Jalapeno/pepperoni/italian sausage is DELICIOUS though.
Jalapeno/pepperoni/italian sausage is DELICIOUS though.
belgand
+0 -0
I prefer pepperoncini. Jalapeno tends to be too strong in flavour for me and overpowers the other ingredients. Also, it might not be common in your area (I was astounded when I started seeing it all over after I moved), but linguica is excellent on a pizza. It has a smoky flavor that works astoundingly well.
One of the better pizzas is linguica and pepperoncini on a cornmeal crust at this great place near me that also has some damn good Brazilian food. Oh $DIETY... I so want a nice big bowl of feijoada right now.
I prefer pepperoncini. Jalapeno tends to be too strong in flavour for me and overpowers the other ingredients. Also, it might not be common in your area (I was astounded when I started seeing it all over after I moved), but linguica is excellent on a pizza. It has a smoky flavor that works astoundingly well.
One of the better pizzas is linguica and pepperoncini on a cornmeal crust at this great place near me that also has some damn good Brazilian food. Oh $DIETY... I so want a nice big bowl of feijoada right now.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
I am addicted to spicy foods. The only way I can eat Taco Bell is to drown it in Fire sauce, and even good tacos like from Chipotles must be doused in hot salsa and the spiciest of tabascos.
I am addicted to spicy foods. The only way I can eat Taco Bell is to drown it in Fire sauce, and even good tacos like from Chipotles must be doused in hot salsa and the spiciest of tabascos.
zapatos
+0 -0
the spiciest of tabascos.
So, not spicies?
the spiciest of tabascos.
So, not spicies?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The most spicy.
The most spicy.
zapatos
+0 -0
that sauce is not spicy though.
also by 'sauce' i mean 'vinegar'
that sauce is not spicy though.
also by 'sauce' i mean 'vinegar'
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The smoked tabasco one, the one they have at Chipotles, mixed with their hot salsa, is basically the hottest thing ever.
The smoked tabasco one, the one they have at Chipotles, mixed with their hot salsa, is basically the hottest thing ever.
zapatos
+0 -0
okay sorry, i thought you meant that terrible brand. i did not realize you were talking about the peppers.
okay sorry, i thought you meant that terrible brand. i did not realize you were talking about the peppers.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Wait what?
I'm talking about tabasco sauce that comes in a bottle.
Wait what?
I'm talking about tabasco sauce that comes in a bottle.
zapatos
+0 -0
That shit tastes like shit.
That shit tastes like shit.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
DUDE. Have you been to Chipotles before?
DUDE. Have you been to Chipotles before?
zapatos
+0 -0
Danny you keep that poison water away from me or I fucking attack you, seriously.
Danny you keep that poison water away from me or I fucking attack you, seriously.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What the hell, how can you not love insanely spicy organic tacos?
I don't know you anymore.
What the hell, how can you not love insanely spicy organic tacos?
I don't know you anymore.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
There is now a stranger in my bed.
There is now a stranger in my bed.
zapatos
+0 -0
TABASCO BRAND HOT SAUCE IS FUCKING GNARLY
i only use rad chilis
TABASCO BRAND HOT SAUCE IS FUCKING GNARLY
i only use rad chilis
belgand
+0 -0
Unless they've changed very recently Chipotle is not organic at all.
Zapatos is right though. Tabasco is not a good choice for hot sauces. If I want Louisiana-style I go with Crystal, if I want something for Mexican I tend to use either Cholula or Tapatio (mainly because it's basically what you find at just about every taqueria in town, but I usually use their own homemade salsas), and if I'm spicing up Asian food and I'm either at home or there isn't a jar of pepper sauce on the table I'll reach for my Sriracha (again, it's the default hot sauce at every Asian place).
If you think Chipotle is good though, man, you need to go to even the weakest of local taquerias and prepare to be blown away by what I wouldn't wipe my ass with. The Mission burrito was born here and is the subject of the sort of bitterly fought battles that our New York brethren fight over pizza (finding good pizza here is hard enough to do that we don't even get a chance to fight about it). Picking sides in some cases is like joining a street gang.
Chipotle? I think they have a sad little location downtown, but I honestly don't know why they even try. If it's all you have, it's... well, it is food and I was there once too, but damn man, you're missing out on the big leagues.
Wow, I just realized that I can't even get horchata, agua fresca, Jarritos, or even something as basic as Mexican Coke at Chipotle. I mean, what the fuck man? Do they just hate the idea of being decent?
Unless they've changed very recently Chipotle is not organic at all.
Zapatos is right though. Tabasco is not a good choice for hot sauces. If I want Louisiana-style I go with Crystal, if I want something for Mexican I tend to use either Cholula or Tapatio (mainly because it's basically what you find at just about every taqueria in town, but I usually use their own homemade salsas), and if I'm spicing up Asian food and I'm either at home or there isn't a jar of pepper sauce on the table I'll reach for my Sriracha (again, it's the default hot sauce at every Asian place).
If you think Chipotle is good though, man, you need to go to even the weakest of local taquerias and prepare to be blown away by what I wouldn't wipe my ass with. The Mission burrito was born here and is the subject of the sort of bitterly fought battles that our New York brethren fight over pizza (finding good pizza here is hard enough to do that we don't even get a chance to fight about it). Picking sides in some cases is like joining a street gang.
Chipotle? I think they have a sad little location downtown, but I honestly don't know why they even try. If it's all you have, it's... well, it is food and I was there once too, but damn man, you're missing out on the big leagues.
Wow, I just realized that I can't even get horchata, agua fresca, Jarritos, or even something as basic as Mexican Coke at Chipotle. I mean, what the fuck man? Do they just hate the idea of being decent?
zapatos
+0 -0
just because its organic, hardly means it is good.
just because its organic, hardly means it is good.
belgand
+0 -0
I find the smoked Tabasco sauce to be milder. I tend to prefer the green when it's all that's available though I rarely tend to add my own hot sauce to anything.
Oh and it's just "Chipotle".
I find the smoked Tabasco sauce to be milder. I tend to prefer the green when it's all that's available though I rarely tend to add my own hot sauce to anything.
Oh and it's just "Chipotle".
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Whatever. It's still good to me, considering that the only other choices for tacos by my school is this shitty on-campus taco joint, the worlds shittiest Taco Bell, Moes (which isn't horrible but I've never been there where the meat is actually hot) and Tijuana Flats (which is good but I don't know where it is).
Whatever. It's still good to me, considering that the only other choices for tacos by my school is this shitty on-campus taco joint, the worlds shittiest Taco Bell, Moes (which isn't horrible but I've never been there where the meat is actually hot) and Tijuana Flats (which is good but I don't know where it is).
woodenteeth
+1 -0
"Why don't you just mace my mouth and throw away my food?" - Roast Beef.
Meanwhile, at lunch woodenteeth felt the surging pinprick pain of joy as his brain tried to come to terms with the wasabi.
"Why don't you just mace my mouth and throw away my food?" - Roast Beef.
Meanwhile, at lunch woodenteeth felt the surging pinprick pain of joy as his brain tried to come to terms with the wasabi.
biff
+0 -0
This is a common condition, but it is not an addiction.
What has happened is that your taste buds have become so desensitized that they cannot detect the flavors of foods unless there is a large amount of capsaicin present.
This condition is not always permanent. Going for a long enough time without lots of hot sauce on your food may allow you to taste foods without putting lots of hot sauce on them.
I not suggesting that you do this, since it would require you to go for a long time eating tasteless food. But it is likely that if your supply of capsaicin-bearing condiments were cut off against your will, eventually you would be able to taste your food again.
This is a common condition, but it is not an addiction.
What has happened is that your taste buds have become so desensitized that they cannot detect the flavors of foods unless there is a large amount of capsaicin present.
This condition is not always permanent. Going for a long enough time without lots of hot sauce on your food may allow you to taste foods without putting lots of hot sauce on them.
I not suggesting that you do this, since it would require you to go for a long time eating tasteless food. But it is likely that if your supply of capsaicin-bearing condiments were cut off against your will, eventually you would be able to taste your food again.
pogo
+0 -0
Biff beat me to the capsaicin thing by a day.
Biff beat me to the capsaicin thing by a day.
belgand
+0 -0
I wasn't saying they were too spicy, but that their flavor didn't seem appropriate.
I like my spicy food to be... more moderate. I don't want it to overwhelm anything. I typically also stick with medium when dealing with Mexican/Tex-Mex sort of stuff and I don't care for Tabasco (both flavor and I find it a bit too spicy... I use Crystal when I need a Louisiana-style hot sauce), but when you give me a proper curry then I can easily go quite a lot hotter. It's a different sort of heat entirely.
I wasn't saying they were too spicy, but that their flavor didn't seem appropriate.
I like my spicy food to be... more moderate. I don't want it to overwhelm anything. I typically also stick with medium when dealing with Mexican/Tex-Mex sort of stuff and I don't care for Tabasco (both flavor and I find it a bit too spicy... I use Crystal when I need a Louisiana-style hot sauce), but when you give me a proper curry then I can easily go quite a lot hotter. It's a different sort of heat entirely.
zapatos
+0 -0
tabasco isn't spicy, its just gnarly. it tastes like vinegar and sadness.
tabasco isn't spicy, its just gnarly. it tastes like vinegar and sadness.
randyleepublic
+0 -1
Lamed. Cipotles.
Lamed. Cipotles.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Wow I seriously can't believe you lamed me for that, like I caused it.
Have a lame for being a douchebag.
Wow I seriously can't believe you lamed me for that, like I caused it.
Have a lame for being a douchebag.
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
The effect of capsaicins is to "burn" or dull the taste buds, so larger doses are needed as you basically ruin your sense of taste.
Quote:
I am addicted to spicy foods. ... even good tacos ... must be doused in hot salsa and the spiciest of tabascos.
The effect of capsaicins is to "burn" or dull the taste buds, so larger doses are needed as you basically ruin your sense of taste.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Do you have proof that that is the effect of capsaicins? Because I love the 'effect' of capsaicins on my nervous system when I dice a habanero pepper into an omelette and ingest, and yet some of these peppers still I call 2 x 4 smashmouth because that is what it feels like in mouth. And general alimentary system sooner or later.
Capsaicin stimulates blood flow. I know this because I had a tube of topical ointment made from a derivative for soccer aches and pains.
You do not get it on balls, Pogo, unless they truly are of brass, or you will be doink dancink like you have Todd in your pants.
Do you have proof that that is the effect of capsaicins? Because I love the 'effect' of capsaicins on my nervous system when I dice a habanero pepper into an omelette and ingest, and yet some of these peppers still I call 2 x 4 smashmouth because that is what it feels like in mouth. And general alimentary system sooner or later.
Capsaicin stimulates blood flow. I know this because I had a tube of topical ointment made from a derivative for soccer aches and pains.
You do not get it on balls, Pogo, unless they truly are of brass, or you will be doink dancink like you have Todd in your pants.
zapatos
+0 -0
Everybody dance like there's Todd in your pants!
Everybody dance like there's Todd in your pants!
biff
+0 -0
In general capsaicin is good for your body. It just has the unfortunate side effect of dulling you taste buds when used to excess.
In general capsaicin is good for your body. It just has the unfortunate side effect of dulling you taste buds when used to excess.
pogo
+0 -0
Oh yeah, I was dicing some habaneros one day and had to take a piss. Deadly!
Oh yeah, I was dicing some habaneros one day and had to take a piss. Deadly!
mattylite
+0 -0
I too have done this. I think I then had to sit with a fan between my legs. The mechanical kind, not the kind who thought highly of me.
I too have done this. I think I then had to sit with a fan between my legs. The mechanical kind, not the kind who thought highly of me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Either one can cure what ails you. That burn will be gone one way or the other.
Either one can cure what ails you. That burn will be gone one way or the other.
pogo
+0 -0
Onstad probably knows what it's like to have a fan between your legs.
Onstad probably knows what it's like to have a fan between your legs.
stereo
+0 -0
That fan is spinynorman
too soon?
That fan is spinynorman
too soon?
belgand
+0 -0
I wasn't unwise enough to touch that, just enough to touch my eyes and get some on my hands. The back of my hands didn't stop burning and tingling for over a day.
I believe somewhere on the Internet is still the story of a man who had to take a leak and got this goop you put on your pick-up truck to line the bed on his wang. This is black stuff that dries to create a hard, waterproof seal. Much hilarity was caused for everyone else.
I wasn't unwise enough to touch that, just enough to touch my eyes and get some on my hands. The back of my hands didn't stop burning and tingling for over a day.
I believe somewhere on the Internet is still the story of a man who had to take a leak and got this goop you put on your pick-up truck to line the bed on his wang. This is black stuff that dries to create a hard, waterproof seal. Much hilarity was caused for everyone else.
sje46
+0 -0
I can never get into laughing at other people's expense.
I can never get into laughing at other people's expense.
belgand
+0 -0
I believe the dude in question was also able to laugh at it a bit as well. He posted it online trying to get help or such.
I believe the dude in question was also able to laugh at it a bit as well. He posted it online trying to get help or such.
biff
+0 -0
Onion is a vegetable, and onion holds a place of honor on pizza.
Not every pizza I eat, of course. But on pizzas where onion is appropriate, it is an awesome addition.
And I love mushrooms all the time. My favorite Thai buffet restaurant always has a pan full of sauteed mushrooms and onions. Yummy!!!
Onion is a vegetable, and onion holds a place of honor on pizza.
Not every pizza I eat, of course. But on pizzas where onion is appropriate, it is an awesome addition.
And I love mushrooms all the time. My favorite Thai buffet restaurant always has a pan full of sauteed mushrooms and onions. Yummy!!!
belgand
+0 -0
Not a fan of onion. I mean, as an aromatic it is very important, but on it's own? Not really my sort of thing. Oddly I find onion rings to be good, but I find they're much better if you remove the onion itself from the fried batter.
Not a fan of onion. I mean, as an aromatic it is very important, but on it's own? Not really my sort of thing. Oddly I find onion rings to be good, but I find they're much better if you remove the onion itself from the fried batter.
daedala_x
+0 -0
Quote:
oh Belgand. did you miss out on taking quizzes about things you like and dislike in every possible scenario and posting them all over livejournal? i think you'd be really good at doing those.
Quote:
Basically what I'm saying is that vegetables have absolutely no place on a pizza.
oh Belgand. did you miss out on taking quizzes about things you like and dislike in every possible scenario and posting them all over livejournal? i think you'd be really good at doing those.
stereo
+1 -0
I guess you wouldn't like the tomato-onion-green pepper-mushroom pizzas I do.
I cannot stand pineapple on pizza.
I guess you wouldn't like the tomato-onion-green pepper-mushroom pizzas I do.
I cannot stand pineapple on pizza.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I never liked it until I actually tried it, it is soo choice, especially cold.
I never liked it until I actually tried it, it is soo choice, especially cold.
belgand
+0 -0
Cold pineapple on pizza is definitely a lot better than warm.
Cold pineapple on pizza is definitely a lot better than warm.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No I mean like the whole pizza is cold, like day old, like leftovers from the day before.
White pizza is horrible, I gave it two chances NO MORE.
No I mean like the whole pizza is cold, like day old, like leftovers from the day before.
White pizza is horrible, I gave it two chances NO MORE.
belgand
+0 -0
I think this is strike three. I don't recall exactly what the first two were, but not liking white pizza? I think we need to have words. Out back. With a pipe.
I think this is strike three. I don't recall exactly what the first two were, but not liking white pizza? I think we need to have words. Out back. With a pipe.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
One was probably for Chipotle.
I mean, I'm sure SOMEWHERE they serve good white pizza, I just haven't had it. I mean it's not like I completely dismissed it after one taste.
One was probably for Chipotle.
I mean, I'm sure SOMEWHERE they serve good white pizza, I just haven't had it. I mean it's not like I completely dismissed it after one taste.
belgand
+0 -0
That pizza is an abomination.
Pepperoni and Italian sausage is the default "best pizza". More meats can be added, however, and other meat-based pizzas are delicious. Pesto pizza can also be pretty damn tasty.
I must amend my earlier statement slightly as I am now reminded of a place that does a great pesto-potato pizza. Potatoes are totally in too.
Basically the standard vegetable toppings read like a list of my absolutely most hated foods.
On this subject fruit is obviously superior. Evolution in animals and plants have combined to make fruit awesome. It is sweet, edible raw, generally easily eaten, and simple to harvest without causing any damage to the plant. We cannot digest the seeds. Plants want us to eat their fruit and pass the seeds elsewhere to spread. We have joined forces to make fruit something we will want.
Vegetables, however, are typically parts of the plant that it wants for itself. Often they are very essential parts of the plant or the entire plant. They are, in many cases, flavored to discourage us from eating them.
I realize that this does not apply to peppers and tomatoes because both are, technically, fruits, but they're poison fruits and... well, just fuck them.
That may be true, but my point remains valid!
That pizza is an abomination.
Pepperoni and Italian sausage is the default "best pizza". More meats can be added, however, and other meat-based pizzas are delicious. Pesto pizza can also be pretty damn tasty.
I must amend my earlier statement slightly as I am now reminded of a place that does a great pesto-potato pizza. Potatoes are totally in too.
Basically the standard vegetable toppings read like a list of my absolutely most hated foods.
On this subject fruit is obviously superior. Evolution in animals and plants have combined to make fruit awesome. It is sweet, edible raw, generally easily eaten, and simple to harvest without causing any damage to the plant. We cannot digest the seeds. Plants want us to eat their fruit and pass the seeds elsewhere to spread. We have joined forces to make fruit something we will want.
Vegetables, however, are typically parts of the plant that it wants for itself. Often they are very essential parts of the plant or the entire plant. They are, in many cases, flavored to discourage us from eating them.
I realize that this does not apply to peppers and tomatoes because both are, technically, fruits, but they're poison fruits and... well, just fuck them.
That may be true, but my point remains valid!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Mushrooms are more akin to meat than vegetables in appearance, taste, and texture.
Mushrooms are more akin to meat than vegetables in appearance, taste, and texture.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I have never had a mushroom taste like meat. I have had it taste like nothing before, but not meat.
I have never had a mushroom taste like meat. I have had it taste like nothing before, but not meat.
belgand
+0 -0
I don't get that because meat is delicious while mushrooms taste like basically the most disgusting things ever.
I think I hate mushrooms more than any other food product.
I think I would probably be willing to eat a dick (I am told that there is a place in China that serves penises exclusively) before I would put another mushroom in my mouth.
I don't get that because meat is delicious while mushrooms taste like basically the most disgusting things ever.
I think I hate mushrooms more than any other food product.
I think I would probably be willing to eat a dick (I am told that there is a place in China that serves penises exclusively) before I would put another mushroom in my mouth.
biff
+0 -0
I am fine with you not liking mushrooms.
More for me.
I am fine with you not liking mushrooms.
More for me.
belgand
+0 -0
I am fine with you liking them. Just keep them away from me. The more you eat, the less I will be subjected to them. This is relationship of symbiosis, yes?
I am fine with you liking them. Just keep them away from me. The more you eat, the less I will be subjected to them. This is relationship of symbiosis, yes?
robbie17m
+0 -0
Including broccoli on white pizza? And has anyone else had vegetable pizza? It's not so much a pizza as it is an experience.
Including broccoli on white pizza? And has anyone else had vegetable pizza? It's not so much a pizza as it is an experience.
robbie17m
+0 -0
Sorry, salad pizza. I'd imagine most people have had vegetable pizza.
Sorry, salad pizza. I'd imagine most people have had vegetable pizza.
zapatos
+2 -0
So I should hang a bell pepper around my neck, to ward off Belgands
So I should hang a bell pepper around my neck, to ward off Belgands
belgand
+0 -0
Just don't put garlic there or I will cold eat you up. Garlic is one of the greatest things we have ever achieved. It's even great raw.
Just don't put garlic there or I will cold eat you up. Garlic is one of the greatest things we have ever achieved. It's even great raw.
zapatos
+0 -0
The reason it is so great is because we had nothing to do with it.
The reason it is so great is because we had nothing to do with it.
belgand
+0 -0
Pretty much.
Not enough people use shallots though. Hell, even I don't use them as often as I should.
Pretty much.
Not enough people use shallots though. Hell, even I don't use them as often as I should.
zapatos
+0 -0
What do you think my magic powers come from?
What do you think my magic powers come from?
tekende
+0 -1
Homer Simpson ate raw bell peppers on one episode when he went on a diet.
Homer Simpson ate raw bell peppers on one episode when he went on a diet.
robbie17m
+0 -0
The opening montage of the original Iron Chef always showed the chairman eating raw bell pepper. Then again, he ate a whole bunch of stuff that most people wouldn't be ok with even hearing about...
The opening montage of the original Iron Chef always showed the chairman eating raw bell pepper. Then again, he ate a whole bunch of stuff that most people wouldn't be ok with even hearing about...
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
You're right, and I remember the "Pepper Battle," where they said many times how the Japanese don't know bell peppers very well and don't generally like them, so that big chomp by the Chairman apparently had extra wow in Japan.
Quote:
the original Iron Chef always showed the chairman eating raw bell pepper
You're right, and I remember the "Pepper Battle," where they said many times how the Japanese don't know bell peppers very well and don't generally like them, so that big chomp by the Chairman apparently had extra wow in Japan.
tekende
+0 -0
Someone hates that Simpsons episode enough that they lamed me for mentioning it, apparently.
Someone hates that Simpsons episode enough that they lamed me for mentioning it, apparently.
randyleepublic
+2 -0
Back in the day, that one time I was able to eat peyote without getting sick and had a borderline religious experience, we ended up at a nice Italian restaurant on College Av. in Berkeley. We were sort of buzzing away, looking at the menu, looking at each other, and trying not to get all slippery or otherwise outstanding, and up walks the waiter. It seemed like it had been a while. I glanced around the table and knew that no one was even close to being ready to order. The glowing green light in my forehead reflected off the white table cloth, and I knew what to do. "Extra large pizza w/ bell pepper, please!" I instructed the servitor. I glanced around the table again - the relief and approval were plain.
That was one of the best pizzas I have ever eaten in a long career of pizza gormandizing!
Back in the day, that one time I was able to eat peyote without getting sick and had a borderline religious experience, we ended up at a nice Italian restaurant on College Av. in Berkeley. We were sort of buzzing away, looking at the menu, looking at each other, and trying not to get all slippery or otherwise outstanding, and up walks the waiter. It seemed like it had been a while. I glanced around the table and knew that no one was even close to being ready to order. The glowing green light in my forehead reflected off the white table cloth, and I knew what to do. "Extra large pizza w/ bell pepper, please!" I instructed the servitor. I glanced around the table again - the relief and approval were plain.
That was one of the best pizzas I have ever eaten in a long career of pizza gormandizing!
pogo
+0 -0
Your story gave me a nice flashback to when we took a mescaline derivative and then went to a Jewish deli and I fell in love with warm bagels.
Your story gave me a nice flashback to when we took a mescaline derivative and then went to a Jewish deli and I fell in love with warm bagels.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Mescaline derivative. Hahaha.
Mescaline derivative. Hahaha.
pogo
+0 -0
That's what she said, I mean, the woman running to place where we samples the concoction.
That's what she said, I mean, the woman running to place where we samples the concoction.
rowboat
+0 -0
Your story gave me a hellish flashback to when we took a PCD derivative and then went to a bagel shop and I fell in love with warm Jews.
Your story gave me a hellish flashback to when we took a PCD derivative and then went to a bagel shop and I fell in love with warm Jews.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
What do you think all those ovens were for?
What do you think all those ovens were for?
octafish
+0 -0
Duuuuude! Too soon.
Duuuuude! Too soon.
zapatos
+0 -0
On the contrary.
It wasn't nearly soon enough.
On the contrary.
It wasn't nearly soon enough.
stereo
+0 -0
Tick that off as another thing to disagree on.
Peppers stuffed with tomato, cheese, rice, and ground meat (and of course spices and other flavouring) are very near pizza for me. Good hot, good cold, in big or small doses. Their only disadvantage is being somewhat seasonal.
Tick that off as another thing to disagree on.
Peppers stuffed with tomato, cheese, rice, and ground meat (and of course spices and other flavouring) are very near pizza for me. Good hot, good cold, in big or small doses. Their only disadvantage is being somewhat seasonal.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
ever had PAdutch-stlye pigs in a blanket? its basically stuffed peppers, only instead of peppers, you roll the junk up in a cabbage leaf.
ever had PAdutch-stlye pigs in a blanket? its basically stuffed peppers, only instead of peppers, you roll the junk up in a cabbage leaf.
daidai
+1 -0
Grandma, no! NOOOOOO!
The cackling of achilleselbow's grandma could be heard all throughout the county, but no one could have guessed the atrocities which caused it.
Grandma, no! NOOOOOO!
The cackling of achilleselbow's grandma could be heard all throughout the county, but no one could have guessed the atrocities which caused it.
tekende
+2 -0
Quote:
This gives me an amusing mental image. achilleselbow's grandmmother has forced the young boy to the floor. She stuffs golubki into his mouth as he struggles to escape.
achilleselbow cries. He cries because he is not man, he is child.
Quote:
My grandma used to make me eat it.
This gives me an amusing mental image. achilleselbow's grandmmother has forced the young boy to the floor. She stuffs golubki into his mouth as he struggles to escape.
achilleselbow cries. He cries because he is not man, he is child.
daedala_x
+0 -0
achilleselbow cried but did not Accept that he cried.
achilleselbow cried but did not Accept that he cried.
belgand
+0 -0
You know that I am just using everything you say to create a series of personalized tortures at the so-called "meet". Have you seen Saw ? It will be as bad as having to watch Saw again. Perhaps one of the sequels.
You know that I am just using everything you say to create a series of personalized tortures at the so-called "meet". Have you seen Saw ? It will be as bad as having to watch Saw again. Perhaps one of the sequels.
tekende
+0 -0
I have not seen Saw. I have seen Saw II , Saw III , and Saw IV , though.
I have not seen Saw. I have seen Saw II , Saw III , and Saw IV , though.
belgand
+0 -0
Why?!? Do you hate yourself?
Why?!? Do you hate yourself?
tekende
+0 -0
A friend of mine used to host movie nights every Wednesday. Eventually you start to run out of movies to watch. This is when things like Saw come in to play. And I actually thought they were decent movies. Not great, but better than I'd expected.
A friend of mine used to host movie nights every Wednesday. Eventually you start to run out of movies to watch. This is when things like Saw come in to play. And I actually thought they were decent movies. Not great, but better than I'd expected.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Not when you have a library of at least 2000 movies at home, like a friend of mine who used to do movie nights; and, no, he didn't get 'em from myspace or google or whatever you little thieves do.
The difficult part was a) getting everyone interested, given his "high" taste in movies (which I was fine with), and b) the movies normally didn't start until ~midnight.
Not when you have a library of at least 2000 movies at home, like a friend of mine who used to do movie nights; and, no, he didn't get 'em from myspace or google or whatever you little thieves do.
The difficult part was a) getting everyone interested, given his "high" taste in movies (which I was fine with), and b) the movies normally didn't start until ~midnight.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, my Netflix queue is almost always maxed out at 500 discs and I have to create a list just to cover my overflow.
I cannot imagine you have exhausted all of the world's cinema enough to have to watch Saw sequels.
Yeah, my Netflix queue is almost always maxed out at 500 discs and I have to create a list just to cover my overflow.
I cannot imagine you have exhausted all of the world's cinema enough to have to watch Saw sequels.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't know, man. It was a big group of people, and whenever a new Saw movie came out, there was always someone who bought it.
Anyway, when we watched movies like that it was more of a "the movie is playing while everyone is in the kitchen drinking and talking" than everyone actually watching it.
I don't know, man. It was a big group of people, and whenever a new Saw movie came out, there was always someone who bought it.
Anyway, when we watched movies like that it was more of a "the movie is playing while everyone is in the kitchen drinking and talking" than everyone actually watching it.
belgand
+0 -0
If your friends bought Saw sequels then, at the risk of being a colossal asshole, you need new, better friends.
If your friends bought Saw sequels then, at the risk of being a colossal asshole, you need new, better friends.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
BUILD NEW FRIENDS.
BUILD NEW FRIENDS.
zapatos
+0 -0
With colossal assholes.
With colossal assholes.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i bet your shit doesnt even stink.
i bet your shit doesnt even stink.
biff
+3 -0
You didn't See Saw?
You didn't See Saw?
belgand
+0 -0
It's not odd that he didn't see it because while it had a vaguely interesting idea that could maybe have supported a short it was overall terrible.
The odd thing is that he then saw all of the sequels (or was there a fifth one too?) which sounded like they were even worse.
It's not odd that he didn't see it because while it had a vaguely interesting idea that could maybe have supported a short it was overall terrible.
The odd thing is that he then saw all of the sequels (or was there a fifth one too?) which sounded like they were even worse.
biff
+1 -0
No no no no.
Seesaw. SEESAW.
It is another name for teeter-totter. You know, the board balanced across a pipe, and a kid sits on either end and they go up and down until on kid jumps off and the other kid slams into the ground and gets a bruised tail bone?
Seesaw?
Dang.
As for the movies, I would pay money to avoid seeing that kind of disturbing crap. Yuck.
No no no no.
Seesaw. SEESAW.
It is another name for teeter-totter. You know, the board balanced across a pipe, and a kid sits on either end and they go up and down until on kid jumps off and the other kid slams into the ground and gets a bruised tail bone?
Seesaw?
Dang.
As for the movies, I would pay money to avoid seeing that kind of disturbing crap. Yuck.
belgand
+0 -0
I got it after scorpio posted and then I kicked myself a bit.
We had a big standing teeter-totter (in my mind that is the difference, you sit on a see-saw) and kids would pile on and take turns rocking back and forth and planning on jumping to jam the other side down. It was tense, like cold war of playground. One time, though a girl fell forward or something and slammed into the chest/stomach-high upside-down U-shaped handles and got hurt very badly. This was an upper-middle class suburb so her parents sued and eventually the city, fearing a lawsuit, removed them from all parks. Later on the tire swing was gone. Then they removed the posts of the teeter-totter. Now when I look at a playground I just see dull plastic lies. I mean, they're not nearly as interesting looking, there's no chance to get a splinter on all the wood, and there's nothing really high enough to jump off of.
I'd hate to be a kid now.
I got it after scorpio posted and then I kicked myself a bit.
We had a big standing teeter-totter (in my mind that is the difference, you sit on a see-saw) and kids would pile on and take turns rocking back and forth and planning on jumping to jam the other side down. It was tense, like cold war of playground. One time, though a girl fell forward or something and slammed into the chest/stomach-high upside-down U-shaped handles and got hurt very badly. This was an upper-middle class suburb so her parents sued and eventually the city, fearing a lawsuit, removed them from all parks. Later on the tire swing was gone. Then they removed the posts of the teeter-totter. Now when I look at a playground I just see dull plastic lies. I mean, they're not nearly as interesting looking, there's no chance to get a splinter on all the wood, and there's nothing really high enough to jump off of.
I'd hate to be a kid now.
zapatos
+0 -0
I never could enjoy the seesaw, it was more like the "get hit in the nuts and fall over"
I never could enjoy the seesaw, it was more like the "get hit in the nuts and fall over"
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He ain't seen Saw.
He ain't seen Saw.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
You haven't Teeter-Tottered?
You haven't Teeter-Tottered?
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Oh, really? Well in that case, I'd better make sure not to tell you that my biggest fear is being tied down while multiple Asian girls take turns urinating on my face and then licking it off.
Oh, really? Well in that case, I'd better make sure not to tell you that my biggest fear is being tied down while multiple Asian girls take turns urinating on my face and then licking it off.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
OH NO
OH NO
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Hey Daedala, please make sure you don't read that post above. Just this one, okay buddy?
Hey Daedala, please make sure you don't read that post above. Just this one, okay buddy?
falseprophet
+0 -0
MOOOOOOOOM ACHILLESELBOW WANTS TO KISS LONG DUK DONG ON THE TITTIIIIIIIIIIIES!
MOOOOOOOOM ACHILLESELBOW WANTS TO KISS LONG DUK DONG ON THE TITTIIIIIIIIIIIES!
tekende
+0 -0
achilleselbow has strange cares.
achilleselbow has strange cares.
belgand
+0 -0
The question is: does it turn you on to be confronted with your fears?
The question is: does it turn you on to be confronted with your fears?
terebikun
+0 -0
I like food that can be enjoyed by friends. I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I like food that can be enjoyed by friends. I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.
deovalente
+0 -0
You should just end every comment with "I am Czech." I'd smile.
You should just end every comment with "I am Czech." I'd smile.
zapatos
+0 -0
He rang the doorbell, and Ray answered.
He rang the doorbell, and Ray answered.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, I had this problem too. After Cornelius' statement and Vlad's appearance I first assumed that they had left in a huff over Ray's poor manners, but now... now it looks like Ray just went to get the door, but we never even heard the doorbell or anything. A panel of Ray leaving the site of his social gaffe would have helped, but the title of "Flubbus Interuptus" kind of lets us know that it is a sidebar between Ray and Vlad. Still, not ideal.
Yeah, I had this problem too. After Cornelius' statement and Vlad's appearance I first assumed that they had left in a huff over Ray's poor manners, but now... now it looks like Ray just went to get the door, but we never even heard the doorbell or anything. A panel of Ray leaving the site of his social gaffe would have helped, but the title of "Flubbus Interuptus" kind of lets us know that it is a sidebar between Ray and Vlad. Still, not ideal.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
"Oh man, some guys From the Internet got mad 'cause I didn't tell them when the vaguely European robot entered the mansion of the been-too-long-since-sexed cat in a thong was throwing a dinner party for a geriatric stuffed bear and his possibly stuffed, fraction-of-his-age stripper lady friend. I'd better print some more t-shirts for the holiday season. That'll distract 'em."
Also, I completely agree with you.
"Oh man, some guys From the Internet got mad 'cause I didn't tell them when the vaguely European robot entered the mansion of the been-too-long-since-sexed cat in a thong was throwing a dinner party for a geriatric stuffed bear and his possibly stuffed, fraction-of-his-age stripper lady friend. I'd better print some more t-shirts for the holiday season. That'll distract 'em."
Also, I completely agree with you.
ketelcat
+0 -0
I think Vlad was just hanging around Ray's house, it is fairly massive. He was probably part of some U-bend party or pork-chop tasting session in a completely different part of the building that Ray had forgotten about.
Or perhaps he just knocked on the door to ask his bad dog friend if he wanted to get stinky at the bar that night.
Who knows?
I think Vlad was just hanging around Ray's house, it is fairly massive. He was probably part of some U-bend party or pork-chop tasting session in a completely different part of the building that Ray had forgotten about.
Or perhaps he just knocked on the door to ask his bad dog friend if he wanted to get stinky at the bar that night.
Who knows?
rumblefish
+7 -0
Ancient Babylonian law prevents yet another stripper related homicide.
Ancient Babylonian law prevents yet another stripper related homicide.
morypcaina
+2 -0
If any cat who desires a stripper bear kill the stripper's older bear, the cat shall be put to death, and the stripper shall have the usufruct of field and garden and all the corn of the cat.
If any cat who desires a stripper bear kill the stripper's older bear, the cat shall be put to death, and the stripper shall have the usufruct of field and garden and all the corn of the cat.
belgand
+0 -0
Sounds a bit more like the Magna Carta as referenced earlier.
Sounds a bit more like the Magna Carta as referenced earlier.
mattfish
+0 -0
Antler right, nest left.
Antler right, nest left.
cbtbone
+0 -0
Dap.
Dap.
gormster
+0 -0
Camera left! Camera left!
Camera left! Camera left!
fancypants
+3 -0
antler symbol of man
dove nest symbol of man gettink it on
antler symbol of man
dove nest symbol of man gettink it on
dangelder
+0 -0
so moist
so moist
daidai
+4 -0
NESTS
LOVE THEM
NESTS
LOVE THEM
cryztal
+0 -0
If the dude wears the antlers, what does the lady wear?
Sorry, sorry, I'm new to the ways of love.
If the dude wears the antlers, what does the lady wear?
Sorry, sorry, I'm new to the ways of love.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you saying that Polly will make Cornelius wear the horns?
Are you saying that Polly will make Cornelius wear the horns?
belgand
+0 -0
That may not be a reference that most will get, but I got it and I do not think so.
Lyle, however, would throw the horns while making someone wear the horns.
'Lo did Dio come to us and did he instruct us in the throwing of the horns and we saw him and Knew and it was good.
That may not be a reference that most will get, but I got it and I do not think so.
Lyle, however, would throw the horns while making someone wear the horns.
'Lo did Dio come to us and did he instruct us in the throwing of the horns and we saw him and Knew and it was good.
biff
+0 -0
I would guess that getting the reference "wearing the horns" would directly correlate to age, but I am probably wrong.
I would guess that getting the reference "wearing the horns" would directly correlate to age, but I am probably wrong.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Or, you know, having read something older than Coca-Cola.
Or, you know, having read something older than Coca-Cola.
biff
+0 -0
I was kind of trying to end up there, yeah.
I was kind of trying to end up there, yeah.
biff
+0 -0
OK, I just figured out what you were saying there.
Sorry, a bit slow on that one.
Yes, excellent observation.
OK, I just figured out what you were saying there.
Sorry, a bit slow on that one.
Yes, excellent observation.
belgand
+0 -0
I think it is also a cultural issue. I am led to believe that it is still more common of an expression outside of America and people will still hold up horns behind someone to mock them.
I think it is also a cultural issue. I am led to believe that it is still more common of an expression outside of America and people will still hold up horns behind someone to mock them.
never_die
+0 -0
the "dap" is the period on the end of Ray's terrible terrible decision.
the "dap" is the period on the end of Ray's terrible terrible decision.
deadpool
+2 -0
I imagine this is the song Ray is playing in his head as he walks back to his dinner party.
https://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XdA3sHGJyqI
I imagine this is the song Ray is playing in his head as he walks back to his dinner party.
https://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XdA3sHGJyqI
modality
+1 -0
chubby for dope funk
chubby for dope funk
deadpool
+0 -0
Likewise.
Likewise.
belgand
+0 -0
That has my entire weekly required dosage of funk and I have higher than normal funk needs.
That has my entire weekly required dosage of funk and I have higher than normal funk needs.
shev217
+1 -0
Vlad's "get the lady, or get the money" line makes me wish I still had my Too $hort tapes.
Vlad's "get the lady, or get the money" line makes me wish I still had my Too $hort tapes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
First you get the money, then you get the women...then you get the power.
First you get the money, then you get the women...then you get the power.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I am glad that someone else could not help thinking of Scarface.
I am glad that someone else could not help thinking of Scarface.
belgand
+4 -0
I could not help thinking of the Simpsons referencing Scarface. This was much better than Scarface itself.
I could not help thinking of the Simpsons referencing Scarface. This was much better than Scarface itself.
somedarkholler
+0 -0
I sometimes wonder how many other people agree that Scarface is vastly overrated. It just seems like you can only see Al Pacino snort ridiculous amounts of coke so many times.
I sometimes wonder how many other people agree that Scarface is vastly overrated. It just seems like you can only see Al Pacino snort ridiculous amounts of coke so many times.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
first we get the jobs, then we get the khakis, THEN we get the chicks.
first we get the jobs, then we get the khakis, THEN we get the chicks.
anticitizen
+0 -0
steeeeeeve PERRY
steeeeeeve PERRY
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
i thought we agreed no more journey psych-outs
i thought we agreed no more journey psych-outs
kamet
+0 -0
I heard your mom was going out with SQUEAK!
I heard your mom was going out with SQUEAK!
biff
+0 -0
I saw that movie.
I wished I hadn't afterward.
I saw that movie.
I wished I hadn't afterward.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
one of britney's mom's pubic hairs!
one of britney's mom's pubic hairs!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
some even got on the mayor.
some even got on the mayor.
belgand
+0 -0
Don't go there man. "Steve Perry" is my default answer for any question I don't know the answer to. It started during weekly bar trivia and was frequently applied to things that would not possibly be answered correctly with that.
Don't take "Steve Perry" away from me.
Don't go there man. "Steve Perry" is my default answer for any question I don't know the answer to. It started during weekly bar trivia and was frequently applied to things that would not possibly be answered correctly with that.
Don't take "Steve Perry" away from me.
biff
+0 -0
Hey man, don't stop believin'.
Hey man, don't stop believin'.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Wow. I have that, but with John McLane.
Wow. I have that, but with John McLane.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
Too $hort's knowledge of prostitution is Too $age.
Too $hort's knowledge of prostitution is Too $age.
blastradius
+0 -0
Onstad, in pay-preview area he shows one row of this the upcoming strip. Then he is sayink that there be three more rows to come. Yet here is strip and I am only seeink two extra rows. Onstad he is fibbink again.
Onstad, in pay-preview area he shows one row of this the upcoming strip. Then he is sayink that there be three more rows to come. Yet here is strip and I am only seeink two extra rows. Onstad he is fibbink again.
rowboat
+1 -1
I don't know what's more depressing - that you would notice that in the first place or that you would then feel OK with yourself about commenting on it. Just imagining you actually writing and this...it's almost too sad.
I don't know what's more depressing - that you would notice that in the first place or that you would then feel OK with yourself about commenting on it. Just imagining you actually writing and this...it's almost too sad.
aperson
+1 -0
Oh great, now I know something that C. Onstad said in the payzone, without having paid. This is theft, blastradius. THEFT.
Oh great, now I know something that C. Onstad said in the payzone, without having paid. This is theft, blastradius. THEFT.
caboom
+5 -0
The nest of dove misplacement cost me my last relationship.
The nest of dove misplacement cost me my last relationship.
griggs_although
+0 -0
A comment left by griggs_although was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, chivalress, Telescreen, Scorpio_nadir, Lumus, achilleselbow)
A comment left by griggs_although was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, chivalress, Telescreen, Scorpio_nadir, Lumus, achilleselbow)
theguitarhero
+1 -0
up yours, poster.
up yours, poster.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
(but not up yours if not)
(but not up yours if not)
tekende
+4 -0
Damnit, I hate it when things go up mine, yet here it is happening again
Damnit, I hate it when things go up mine, yet here it is happening again
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Did you ever think it would be like this?
Did you ever think it would be like this?
tekende
+1 -0
I never thought this would be the reason for it, I'll tell you that.
I never thought this would be the reason for it, I'll tell you that.
belgand
+0 -0
Give it about 16 years and things will be going up there all the damn time. Or, at least, it will seem like it. Is this not true venerable masters of Assetbar?
Give it about 16 years and things will be going up there all the damn time. Or, at least, it will seem like it. Is this not true venerable masters of Assetbar?
biff
+0 -0
Truer than I would like at this stage of my life, and I am just getting started with that particular phase.
Truer than I would like at this stage of my life, and I am just getting started with that particular phase.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Yes, it's true. The experience is referred to as Capital Gains Tax.
Yes, it's true. The experience is referred to as Capital Gains Tax.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is true. You will be gettink monthly reminders for colono-rectal examoscopy. Finally you tired of phone calls and harassment, you go in to clinic.
You gettink double whammy treatment.
First from procedure up yours with greasy scope.
Second from statement up yours jammed with no lube.
Is true. You will be gettink monthly reminders for colono-rectal examoscopy. Finally you tired of phone calls and harassment, you go in to clinic.
You gettink double whammy treatment.
First from procedure up yours with greasy scope.
Second from statement up yours jammed with no lube.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
is SO greasy.
is SO greasy.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Make sure you don't forget to lick Onstad's balls while you're at it, I heard he likes that.
Make sure you don't forget to lick Onstad's balls while you're at it, I heard he likes that.
zapatos
+0 -0
I heard he dislikes it.
I heard he dislikes it.
belgand
+0 -0
I think it depends on the mood he's in. Sometimes is good, sometimes no so good. I think it also is best to wait until he has had a man-douche recently.
I think it depends on the mood he's in. Sometimes is good, sometimes no so good. I think it also is best to wait until he has had a man-douche recently.
biff
+0 -0
You betray far too much knowledge on this topic.
You betray far too much knowledge on this topic.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm not betraying anything. He didn't swear me to silence on the matter.
I'm not betraying anything. He didn't swear me to silence on the matter.
foea
+0 -0
Holy shit! belgand is Retardo!
Anyone else remember that guy?
Holy shit! belgand is Retardo!
Anyone else remember that guy?
belgand
+0 -0
Uh, what?!?
Uh, what?!?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
if he is, that is pretty lame.
you would be pretty lame to be retardo, belgand.
if he is, that is pretty lame.
you would be pretty lame to be retardo, belgand.
belgand
+0 -0
Who is even Retardo? Is before my times. I do not recall seeing him when I got through the old strips or when I only casually glanced through the 'bar.
Who is even Retardo? Is before my times. I do not recall seeing him when I got through the old strips or when I only casually glanced through the 'bar.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
some jerk of a user here.
he disappeared.
everyone was okay with that.
some jerk of a user here.
he disappeared.
everyone was okay with that.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
His thing was constantly interpreting innocuous things about strips as being Onstad's subconscious cries for help as a repressed gay man. Also wanting to bone him.
His thing was constantly interpreting innocuous things about strips as being Onstad's subconscious cries for help as a repressed gay man. Also wanting to bone him.
rowboat
+0 -0
I definitely thought he was the funniest of the "concept" posters. I was in the minority.
I definitely thought he was the funniest of the "concept" posters. I was in the minority.
foea
+0 -0
Really? Funnier than Doctor_Manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately?
Really? Funnier than Doctor_Manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately?
invidious
+0 -0
Doctor Manflesh is the master.
HE IS THE MASTER!!!
HE IS THE MASTER!!!!!!
HE IS THE MAAASSSTERRRR!!!!!!
Doctor Manflesh is the master.
HE IS THE MASTER!!!
HE IS THE MASTER!!!!!!
HE IS THE MAAASSSTERRRR!!!!!!
tekende
+0 -0
That is pretty much my favorite "joke" ever.
That is pretty much my favorite "joke" ever.
zapatos
+0 -0
she is a hot babe.
she is a hot babe.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dr. Manflesh was never ever funny to me.
Dr. Manflesh was never ever funny to me.
biff
+0 -0
Manflesh got put on ignore about the second or third time I saw his posts.
Every once in a while I would look at one of his ignored posts, just to check and see if he still merited a place on my ignore list. And always, he did.
Manflesh got put on ignore about the second or third time I saw his posts.
Every once in a while I would look at one of his ignored posts, just to check and see if he still merited a place on my ignore list. And always, he did.
stereo
+0 -0
desert_donkey is the only regular poster I've bothered to put on ignore. Obviously I also ignored all those aiu clones that were just made to be obnoxious.
desert_donkey is the only regular poster I've bothered to put on ignore. Obviously I also ignored all those aiu clones that were just made to be obnoxious.
rowboat
+0 -0
Retardo funnier than Manflesh? Yes, without question.
Retardo funnier than Manflesh? Yes, without question.
sje46
+0 -0
Who are the concept posters, exactly? Dr. Manflesh. Retardo. Gladdi. Who else? Is lechatbotte? (MEOW) Am I?
Who are the concept posters, exactly? Dr. Manflesh. Retardo. Gladdi. Who else? Is lechatbotte? (MEOW) Am I?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think that in order to be a concept poster one has to clearly be playing a role that is not just their own personality. As far as I could tell, Retardo was actually somewhat serious, since he would accuse people of being homophobic and got all huffy and left to find a more 'open-minded' forum. Similarly, lechatbotte actually was an "everyone is beautiful and special" hippie type. And AIU claimed to be playing a role, but by all indications actually was an emotionally unstable and socially retarded nerd.
Maybe what I'm describing is more of a 'character poster'. But if a 'concept poster' is just one that harps on the same theme most of the time, then a lot of us would be concept posters in some way.
Perhaps there's a further distinction between character posters and character trolls in that the former actually interact with and respond to other posters instead of just randomly spamming the page with their particular schtick. In that case, Glad would probably be the only character poster I can think of.
I think that in order to be a concept poster one has to clearly be playing a role that is not just their own personality. As far as I could tell, Retardo was actually somewhat serious, since he would accuse people of being homophobic and got all huffy and left to find a more 'open-minded' forum. Similarly, lechatbotte actually was an "everyone is beautiful and special" hippie type. And AIU claimed to be playing a role, but by all indications actually was an emotionally unstable and socially retarded nerd.
Maybe what I'm describing is more of a 'character poster'. But if a 'concept poster' is just one that harps on the same theme most of the time, then a lot of us would be concept posters in some way.
Perhaps there's a further distinction between character posters and character trolls in that the former actually interact with and respond to other posters instead of just randomly spamming the page with their particular schtick. In that case, Glad would probably be the only character poster I can think of.
sje46
+0 -0
I feel like I used to be a character poster but not so much anymore.
I feel like I used to be a character poster but not so much anymore.
pogo
+0 -0
I was just going to say that about you, sje46. I remember when I swore you were a troll. Sorry again, my son.
I was just going to say that about you, sje46. I remember when I swore you were a troll. Sorry again, my son.
sje46
+0 -0
It is alright Mr. King sir. I was a little annoying.
It is alright Mr. King sir. I was a little annoying.
belgand
+0 -0
Nope, definitely not me.
The subconscious messages I get from Achewood are telling me to do very different things.
Nope, definitely not me.
The subconscious messages I get from Achewood are telling me to do very different things.
zapatos
+0 -0
dude, if you don't re-read the archives and every asset then you are not cool.
i'm not cool.
also i know of retardo.
dude, if you don't re-read the archives and every asset then you are not cool.
i'm not cool.
also i know of retardo.
belgand
+0 -0
I read almost everything through the first time when it was new (I believe I started reading Achewood around the time that Beef went to the moon) and I just recently completed re-reading everything so I could get my official tally back up. I re-read a bunch of older comments and left a ton of my own, but since I wasn't taking part in the discussions I missed some of it and didn't get the full experience. He may also have been lamed to death.
I read almost everything through the first time when it was new (I believe I started reading Achewood around the time that Beef went to the moon) and I just recently completed re-reading everything so I could get my official tally back up. I re-read a bunch of older comments and left a ton of my own, but since I wasn't taking part in the discussions I missed some of it and didn't get the full experience. He may also have been lamed to death.
zapatos
+0 -0
my lames are set hell of high.
my lames are set hell of high.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
He got spammed out alot too.
He got spammed out alot too.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
mine is set to '4'.
mine is set to '4'.
arcibi
+0 -0
I remember Retardo
Well mostly I remember yelling at him a couple times
I remember Retardo
Well mostly I remember yelling at him a couple times
dusty
+0 -0
yeah sorry, I'm the one who told him that, I just wanted to sound like a big shot, like I knew something about onstad no one else knew, so when he asked me if onstad likes his balls licked I just guess and told him he did. I don't even deserve to be chief editor of "What onstad likes weekly."
yeah sorry, I'm the one who told him that, I just wanted to sound like a big shot, like I knew something about onstad no one else knew, so when he asked me if onstad likes his balls licked I just guess and told him he did. I don't even deserve to be chief editor of "What onstad likes weekly."
qingofchina
+0 -0
Imagine Onstad knowing that you know that.
Imagine Onstad knowing that you know that.
belgand
+0 -0
Someone needs to ask this at the next signing: "Balls to be licked: yes or no?"
Someone needs to ask this at the next signing: "Balls to be licked: yes or no?"
zapatos
+12 -0
He just circles 'or' and stares at you.
He just circles 'or' and stares at you.
zapatos
+0 -0
Breathing heavily.
Breathing heavily.
stereo
+4 -0
Writes "immediately" below the options, circles it twice.
underlines it
Writes "immediately" below the options, circles it twice.
underlines it
daidai
+0 -0
There is a pause.
There is a pause.
daidai
+15 -0
daidai
+0 -0
Then there is violent love.
Then there is violent love.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
So caught between the violence and the love making, who is to know which is which-- or if it matters.
POUF
So caught between the violence and the love making, who is to know which is which-- or if it matters.
POUF
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Your current avatar is perfect for this.
Your current avatar is perfect for this.
qingofchina
+0 -0
oh snap!
oh snap!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i was about to say this.
a blank comment of Nice Pete deserves chuppies.
i was about to say this.
a blank comment of Nice Pete deserves chuppies.
daidai
+1 -0
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
how did i know you would do this.
how did i know.
you have my blank chubby for this comic. please look elsewhere.
how did i know you would do this.
how did i know.
you have my blank chubby for this comic. please look elsewhere.
daidai
+1 -0
You set me a trap.
All with a box held up by a stick with a string and a note that says "free chuppies here".
I go in the box, you pull the string.
You set me a trap.
All with a box held up by a stick with a string and a note that says "free chuppies here".
I go in the box, you pull the string.
daidai
+1 -0
And now we wait.
And now we wait.
dusty
+0 -0
You search the box
There are two ducks in the box, the first duck speaks...
"One of us tells only truth the other tells only lies"
The second duck speaks...
"QUACK!"
you have 32 eng
:_
You search the box
There are two ducks in the box, the first duck speaks...
"One of us tells only truth the other tells only lies"
The second duck speaks...
"QUACK!"
you have 32 eng
:_
belgand
+0 -0
GET NO QUACK
USE NO QUACK ON DUCK 1
>DUCK 1 VANISHES IN A PUFF OF LOGIC
GET NO QUACK
USE NO QUACK ON DUCK 1
>DUCK 1 VANISHES IN A PUFF OF LOGIC
falseprophet
+0 -0
Douglas Adams wrote Hitchhiker in Basic.
Douglas Adams wrote Hitchhiker in Basic.
belgand
+0 -0
I still need to play Bureaucracy .
I still need to play Bureaucracy .
dusty
+0 -0
The first duck was the lying duck
therefor what he said about one of them telling the truth was a lie. You have destroyed the lesser of two evils.
you have gained 2 leters
you now have 32 engla
the SECOND DUCK is now seems engrossed in a late print of Chinua Achebe's THINGS FALL APART. He appears to be confused about the meaning of the MAIN CHARACTER'S OBSESSION WITH MASCULINITY.
:_
The first duck was the lying duck
therefor what he said about one of them telling the truth was a lie. You have destroyed the lesser of two evils.
you have gained 2 leters
you now have 32 engla
the SECOND DUCK is now seems engrossed in a late print of Chinua Achebe's THINGS FALL APART. He appears to be confused about the meaning of the MAIN CHARACTER'S OBSESSION WITH MASCULINITY.
:_
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Up yours with day-old BLACK COLON WATER, thought-policeboy-in-training.
Up yours with day-old BLACK COLON WATER, thought-policeboy-in-training.
zhankfor
+0 -0
Thinkers in gulag, they are callink this the math of tightenink .
Thinkers in gulag, they are callink this the math of tightenink .
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I will provide my standard service of explaining food terms if you don't already know them. Mise en place is the French term used to refer to your setup. The prepared ingredients to be used throughout an evening of cooking. If you don't have your mise en place together, you will cook in a sloppy way, and not have what you need when you need it. Either by having to chop and onion while the skillet is burning the other ingredients, or not having the tissue paper close to wipe your spunk off her face when you 'max
I will provide my standard service of explaining food terms if you don't already know them. Mise en place is the French term used to refer to your setup. The prepared ingredients to be used throughout an evening of cooking. If you don't have your mise en place together, you will cook in a sloppy way, and not have what you need when you need it. Either by having to chop and onion while the skillet is burning the other ingredients, or not having the tissue paper close to wipe your spunk off her face when you 'max
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
My Thick White Line just goes in the skillet with everything else.
My Thick White Line just goes in the skillet with everything else.
pogo
+0 -0
It is hard to "chop and onion" at the same time.
It is hard to "chop and onion" at the same time.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Obviously you haven't been to a French cooking school. It is the first thing they teach.
Obviously you haven't been to a French cooking school. It is the first thing they teach.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Sorry about that, my hands were REALLY slippery while I was typing that
Sorry about that, my hands were REALLY slippery while I was typing that
lynnym
+0 -0
The 'y' in 'however' just nails the accent...I've actually said it out loud three times, and each time I giggle until I snort. Ah, Flod. You slay me.
The 'y' in 'however' just nails the accent...I've actually said it out loud three times, and each time I giggle until I snort. Ah, Flod. You slay me.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
oh my god, Cornelius has a donk? I simply must know what he plans to do with this donk. If only someone had written a song on the proper ways of handling a donk.
oh my god, Cornelius has a donk? I simply must know what he plans to do with this donk. If only someone had written a song on the proper ways of handling a donk.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It is necessary to handle your ba-donk-a-donk.
It is necessary to handle your ba-donk-a-donk.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Thank you for not linking 'Honky Tonk Ba-donka-donk'.
Thank you for not linking 'Honky Tonk Ba-donka-donk'.
gladi8orrex
+5 -0
how abot pome?
andle ur donk;
like it woz ur mum
tug it not long
or ill b as a plum
care 4 it always,
clean it up real nice
this ma mom always saiz
"cuz ib u dont",
"u'll surely pay da prise!"
peel bak deh skin
when washin is the business
keep out of reach of men,
but alwayz gib to waitress
how abot pome?
andle ur donk;
like it woz ur mum
tug it not long
or ill b as a plum
care 4 it always,
clean it up real nice
this ma mom always saiz
"cuz ib u dont",
"u'll surely pay da prise!"
peel bak deh skin
when washin is the business
keep out of reach of men,
but alwayz gib to waitress
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This is a poem about being courteous to the wait staff and also to your ass.
This is a poem about being courteous to the wait staff and also to your ass.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
how about a poem?
handle your dick
like it was your mom
tug it not long
or it'll be as a plum.
care for it always
clean it up real nice
this my mom always says,
'cos if you don't,
you'll surely pay the price!'
peel back the skin
when washing is the business.
keep out of reach of men
but always give to the waitress.
how about a poem?
handle your dick
like it was your mom
tug it not long
or it'll be as a plum.
care for it always
clean it up real nice
this my mom always says,
'cos if you don't,
you'll surely pay the price!'
peel back the skin
when washing is the business.
keep out of reach of men
but always give to the waitress.
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
in night we met
in morn i part
twas enuff 2 wet ma pallete
atlest is a start
"sorry tose u",
the word i saiz
i no not wat i do
"nebe c me agane",
for da rest o ur daiz
next tim will better, surely
or so to me they say
dey oslo tells me not to worry
"atlest u dint hab 2 pay!"
i still wish i wouldn't cum so early
this is actualli gute pome abot me an ma sex life. please emale 2 ur frends is pretti gute i saiz maselb
in night we met
in morn i part
twas enuff 2 wet ma pallete
atlest is a start
"sorry tose u",
the word i saiz
i no not wat i do
"nebe c me agane",
for da rest o ur daiz
next tim will better, surely
or so to me they say
dey oslo tells me not to worry
"atlest u dint hab 2 pay!"
i still wish i wouldn't cum so early
this is actualli gute pome abot me an ma sex life. please emale 2 ur frends is pretti gute i saiz maselb
theguitarhero
+1 -0
This is a poem about Glad being a poor performer in bed.
This is a poem about Glad being a poor performer in bed.
anticitizen
+0 -0
this simple formula of theguitarhero very flatly translating a gladi8orrex rhyme will never not be funny.
this simple formula of theguitarhero very flatly translating a gladi8orrex rhyme will never not be funny.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
When I first read this I thought you were saying it was never funny. But I'm glad that you enjoy it!
When I first read this I thought you were saying it was never funny. But I'm glad that you enjoy it!
zapatos
+0 -0
and that's, what she said.
and that's, what she said.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That's what I said to her.
That's what I said to her.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
She laughed. :(
She laughed. :(
zapatos
+1 -0
then I raped her
then I raped her
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:O
:O
zapatos
+0 -0
HAHA RIGHT!
HAHA RIGHT!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
MY FATHER RAPED A MAN ONCE.
MY FATHER RAPED A MAN ONCE.
zapatos
+0 -0
you're next.
you're next.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
OR AM I???????
[IMGS OFF]
OR AM I???????
[IMGS OFF]
biff
+0 -0
You know, that video is only about 7% effective without the music.
You know, that video is only about 7% effective without the music.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I guess it's good I'm not going for effectiveness, but initial recognition.
I guess it's good I'm not going for effectiveness, but initial recognition.
kickstart
+0 -0
Is it as effective as....
MURDER?
Is it as effective as....
MURDER?
zapatos
+0 -0
you're next.
you're next.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Tonight.
You.
Tonight.
You.
utv
+0 -0
gladi8orrex pens another one for the ages.
gladi8orrex pens another one for the ages.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
in night we met
in morn i part
t'was enough to whet my palate.
at least it's a stare.
'sorry to see you'
the words i say
i know not what i do.
'ever see me again'
for the rest of your days.
next time will be better, surely,
or so to me they say.
they also tell me not to worry.
'at least you didn't have to pay!'
i still wish i wouldn't cum so early.
this is actually a good poem about me and my sex life. please email to your friends it's pretty good, i say to myself.
surely twice.
in night we met
in morn i part
t'was enough to whet my palate.
at least it's a stare.
'sorry to see you'
the words i say
i know not what i do.
'ever see me again'
for the rest of your days.
next time will be better, surely,
or so to me they say.
they also tell me not to worry.
'at least you didn't have to pay!'
i still wish i wouldn't cum so early.
this is actually a good poem about me and my sex life. please email to your friends it's pretty good, i say to myself.
surely twice.
hausea
+1 -0
Somewhere, sometime, someone has jerked it to the idea of using an antler and a dove's nest in ways that God did not intend.
Somewhere, sometime, someone has jerked it to the idea of using an antler and a dove's nest in ways that God did not intend.
hausea
+1 -0
Oh god just look at how many fucking eggs there are...ohhh god yes!
Oh god just look at how many fucking eggs there are...ohhh god yes!
theguitarhero
+1 -0
:)
:)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Beautiful new avicon.
DAY MAN! FIGHTER OF THE NIGHT MAN!
Beautiful new avicon.
DAY MAN! FIGHTER OF THE NIGHT MAN!
belgand
+0 -0
Pretty awesome, but I might have gone with Green Man. Definitely your best yet. But please, settle on just one. It becomes hard to track people when they keep changing.
Pretty awesome, but I might have gone with Green Man. Definitely your best yet. But please, settle on just one. It becomes hard to track people when they keep changing.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Definitely yes. Hold onto this humdinger for at least a week.
Definitely yes. Hold onto this humdinger for at least a week.
daidai
+0 -0
That's what she said.
(?)
That's what she said.
(?)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'll give it an emphatic Hell Yes. Thank you.
I'll give it an emphatic Hell Yes. Thank you.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Everyone has been bitching at me about my avatars so I'm trying to find one that meets a consensus with the people. I'm probably keeping this one till the new year, then cycle back to the big black dildo.
Everyone has been bitching at me about my avatars so I'm trying to find one that meets a consensus with the people. I'm probably keeping this one till the new year, then cycle back to the big black dildo.
aperson
+0 -0
Dont worry, I have the ability to block that specific image in my browser.
Dont worry, I have the ability to block that specific image in my browser.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm worried!
I'm worried!
aperson
+0 -0
I can't help you there - there is no firefox addin for that.
I can't help you there - there is no firefox addin for that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Or you could just not care.
Or you could just not care.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's tough for me to just not care at all though.
I had never intended to use the Screech avicon though, it was mainly a fluke that i found and remembered that clip.
It's tough for me to just not care at all though.
I had never intended to use the Screech avicon though, it was mainly a fluke that i found and remembered that clip.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
it's really quite mesmerizing.
it's really quite mesmerizing.
valrus
+0 -0
How 'bout try not givin' a shit!
How 'bout try not givin' a shit!
stereo
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOpsbAUEe90
You only really need the last little bit of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOpsbAUEe90
You only really need the last little bit of it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:) when time runs out on this one I think I know exactly what to do.
:) when time runs out on this one I think I know exactly what to do.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Haha-- WHAM!
Haha-- WHAM!
biff
+0 -0
What the fuck is that crap?
No, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
What the fuck is that crap?
No, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
stereo
+0 -0
The title of the video describes it perfectly...
The title of the video describes it perfectly...
rowboat
+0 -0
By the power of my escape key, I no longer care what you use.
By the power of my escape key, I no longer care what you use.
pogo
+0 -0
All hail the power of Esc to banish the wiggling demons!
All hail the power of Esc to banish the wiggling demons!
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
I am in accord with this avicon.
"Ahh-AH-ahh."
I am in accord with this avicon.
"Ahh-AH-ahh."
hedonismbot
+1 -0
These antlers are big enough... They could crush ALL the eggs at once! It would be it would be soooo gooooeeeyyyyyyyyYYYYESSSSSS!!!!!!!
These antlers are big enough... They could crush ALL the eggs at once! It would be
daedala_x
+5 -1
you are not familiar with custums of old country. i am teachink you. the eggs, is symbols for makink babies. to make large manhood for strong vigorous bonink, you must crack eggs, make manhood romantically slimey. you are bonink her now, her womb is soft like Mother's, you think of her, lovely woman resting in death hole. you are wantink to sit back in womb, yes? is lucky thing you are havink antlers! you are usink antlers to open stomach of girlfriend. you are placink head in stomach, is so warm! you are puttink bird nest on girlfriend's head to wear as bonnet.
you are not familiar with custums of old country. i am teachink you. the eggs, is symbols for makink babies. to make large manhood for strong vigorous bonink, you must crack eggs, make manhood romantically slimey. you are bonink her now, her womb is soft like Mother's, you think of her, lovely woman resting in death hole. you are wantink to sit back in womb, yes? is lucky thing you are havink antlers! you are usink antlers to open stomach of girlfriend. you are placink head in stomach, is so warm! you are puttink bird nest on girlfriend's head to wear as bonnet.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I honestly don't know how I feel about this comic. I can't decide if it's forced or it's so genius that it just feels forced.
I honestly don't know how I feel about this comic. I can't decide if it's forced or it's so genius that it just feels forced.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Onstad is a Constipated Genius.
Onstad is a Constipated Genius.
qingofchina
+0 -0
I think the high brow nature coupled with the fact that the internet community is his main exposure turns practically all of his fans in to faux critics. Myself included. It felt a bit forced, but I feel like if I didn't have to wait so long, I wouldn't be hanging on every word.
I think the high brow nature coupled with the fact that the internet community is his main exposure turns practically all of his fans in to faux critics. Myself included. It felt a bit forced, but I feel like if I didn't have to wait so long, I wouldn't be hanging on every word.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Agreed. If this was a 3-a-week affair, I wouldn't treat every comic like the Magna Carta.
Agreed. If this was a 3-a-week affair, I wouldn't treat every comic like the Magna Carta.
qingofchina
+2 -0
More like Manga Carta! Amirite amirite!
More like Manga Carta! Amirite amirite!
nice-on-water
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
qingofchina
+0 -0
O D. Stuffed.
O D. Stuffed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WHAT.
WHAT.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Qingofchina has been, in the parlance of the streets, " posterized ."
Qingofchina has been, in the parlance of the streets, " posterized ."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I thought for a second you implied he posterized me, in which case I was going to say WHAT again, but I re-read it so it's good now.
I thought for a second you implied he posterized me, in which case I was going to say WHAT again, but I re-read it so it's good now.
hamscout
+0 -0
I have CS3, and they appear to have changed the names...
Here are some of their filters:
[IMGS OFF]
I have CS3, and they appear to have changed the names...
Here are some of their filters:
[IMGS OFF]
hausea
+0 -0
when the parliament does their thing in the day.
when the parliament does their thing in the day.
autrepoupee
+6 -1
mmyes, i take to my evening jacket and a snifter of some fine german wine as i peruse the Ached Wood before Mitsy and I retire to the boudoir. This eve I find myself disappointed in the the quality of the art-comedy strip which I've come to hold dear to my heart, and instead of smirking softly to myself at the antics of a one Mr. Raymond Q. Smuckles, I merely upturn a corner of my mouth at the wordplay and japery present within the latter-day panel, Vladmir engaging in some absurdist Eastern Pygmalion behavior.
Why can't a robot behave like a man? Mah ah ah, mmyes. Quite droll.
mmyes, i take to my evening jacket and a snifter of some fine german wine as i peruse the Ached Wood before Mitsy and I retire to the boudoir. This eve I find myself disappointed in the the quality of the art-comedy strip which I've come to hold dear to my heart, and instead of smirking softly to myself at the antics of a one Mr. Raymond Q. Smuckles, I merely upturn a corner of my mouth at the wordplay and japery present within the latter-day panel, Vladmir engaging in some absurdist Eastern Pygmalion behavior.
Why can't a robot behave like a man? Mah ah ah, mmyes. Quite droll.
qingofchina
+0 -0
See! See!?
See! See!?
belgand
+2 -0
I say good sir*, but I must disagree with your assessment there in part. The lady, though she be of low station to begin with, was shown to be a lady of class almost immediately despite her harlotous ways and being seduced so easily into riding into a miniature gravity-carriage with Mr. Cornelius Bear. Was this merely a distressingly modern (and I do not say this term lightly) take on Pygmalion he would have needed to gently educate and likely strike the poor unfortunate for quite some time until she was able to be properly rehabilitated. Itself a concept that I regard as highly dubious and valid only as it serves as a form of moral instruction on the importance of being British to the youth of today. Miss Polly is most likely a lady of proper attitudes who was brought low in a most disagreeable accident, likely one involved a disputed will, and was rescued from her sad state by Mr. Bear.
*It is inconceivable that a lady, definitely one of culture and breeding, would be taking to the Lightning Box in order to discuss such matters. Regardless of your calling card I shall acknowledge that you must surely be a gentleman engaged in some sort of antic, perhaps for our amusement. It is a proven fact that there is no greater japery than that of a man dressed as if he 'twere a lady.
I say good sir*, but I must disagree with your assessment there in part. The lady, though she be of low station to begin with, was shown to be a lady of class almost immediately despite her harlotous ways and being seduced so easily into riding into a miniature gravity-carriage with Mr. Cornelius Bear. Was this merely a distressingly modern (and I do not say this term lightly) take on Pygmalion he would have needed to gently educate and likely strike the poor unfortunate for quite some time until she was able to be properly rehabilitated. Itself a concept that I regard as highly dubious and valid only as it serves as a form of moral instruction on the importance of being British to the youth of today. Miss Polly is most likely a lady of proper attitudes who was brought low in a most disagreeable accident, likely one involved a disputed will, and was rescued from her sad state by Mr. Bear.
*It is inconceivable that a lady, definitely one of culture and breeding, would be taking to the Lightning Box in order to discuss such matters. Regardless of your calling card I shall acknowledge that you must surely be a gentleman engaged in some sort of antic, perhaps for our amusement. It is a proven fact that there is no greater japery than that of a man dressed as if he 'twere a lady.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Flagged for Violation of Rule #17 of 19th Century Britain: Never blame society if the woman can be blamed.
We have been through this with far too many people. I am sorry. This could have been much better than you made it.
Flagged for Violation of Rule #17 of 19th Century Britain: Never blame society if the woman can be blamed.
We have been through this with far too many people. I am sorry. This could have been much better than you made it.
belgand
+0 -0
I was aware of that problem, but I also didn't just want to be a complete dick all over the place like that.
At the same time since Mr. Bear has taken a liking to Polly it would imply that there was something wrong with him if she was the problem. You can't impugn the man by proxy either.
I did, however, state that it is impossible to rise above one's class regardless of how much you strike someone.
I was aware of that problem, but I also didn't just want to be a complete dick all over the place like that.
At the same time since Mr. Bear has taken a liking to Polly it would imply that there was something wrong with him if she was the problem. You can't impugn the man by proxy either.
I did, however, state that it is impossible to rise above one's class regardless of how much you strike someone.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
What of a dog outfitted in the fashion of a foppish dandy and made to perform amusements of a most absurd manner, such as walking on its hindquarters? Would this not perhaps be an equally worthy jest?
What of a dog outfitted in the fashion of a foppish dandy and made to perform amusements of a most absurd manner, such as walking on its hindquarters? Would this not perhaps be an equally worthy jest?
belgand
+0 -0
The AFI does not agree. To them men dressed as ladies are the most amusing comedies ever.
The AFI does not agree. To them men dressed as ladies are the most amusing comedies ever.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
You had me at "mmyes."
But the rest of it was quite fine as well.. wordplay and japery indeed.
You had me at "mmyes."
But the rest of it was quite fine as well.. wordplay and japery indeed.
tetsujin
+0 -0
blugh.
blugh.
spinynorman
+38 -0
I thought I might share my Onstad meeting with you guys.
Well, I showed up at Austin Books at around 8 and there was already a huge line. I bought The Great Outdoor Fight and had brought along the Achewood Cookbook, which had been a birthday gift to my friend Jameson, who likes to cook. Jameson, having had very great success with the Rude Chicken, had given me very specific advice to give to Mr. Onstad.
So about two hours and five beers later me and my girlfriend finally got up to the front, I introduced myself to the main gent and he did the same to me, and then I said, "My friend Jameson wanted me to let you know that the Rude Chicken was a huge hit at a party of his."
"Is that the beercan one?" asked Mr. Onstad.
"That's the one," my girlfriend said.
"Cool, good to hear," he said.
"As a matter of fact," I said, "I'm under very specific instructions to tell you that on a scale of 1 to 10, it rated an erection. " (It should be noted that upon hearing the words "specific instructions" my girlfriend immediately bowed her head and walked away, knowing full well what the instructions were.)
To my relief, he laughed at that as he drew a Chef Beef on the cookbook, and said, "So what does that rank as? A six or seven?"
"That would depend largely on the erection, I'd imagine," I said.
"Well, everything's bigger in Texas, right?" he asked.
I thought about that, and then said, "No."
This he found to be greatly humorous, and he said, "Listen, I don't want this to get too personal or anything..."
It was then that I became aware that I discussing my penis with Chris Onstad. Needless to say, this was neither the direction I had wanted or expected. Half-panicking, I muttered something about how all day people had been saying, "Now Robert, don't make Chris Onstad talk about your penis," and I had been all, "Oh well I'll try I guess but no promises."
Anyways, after that he told me not to cook the chili and we got a picture with him (on my girlfriend's phone - don't have the pic handy) and that was the end of that.
I apologize for the delay in posting this. It is currently snowing in Austin and I was required to drink beer in the snow.
I thought I might share my Onstad meeting with you guys.
Well, I showed up at Austin Books at around 8 and there was already a huge line. I bought The Great Outdoor Fight and had brought along the Achewood Cookbook, which had been a birthday gift to my friend Jameson, who likes to cook. Jameson, having had very great success with the Rude Chicken, had given me very specific advice to give to Mr. Onstad.
So about two hours and five beers later me and my girlfriend finally got up to the front, I introduced myself to the main gent and he did the same to me, and then I said, "My friend Jameson wanted me to let you know that the Rude Chicken was a huge hit at a party of his."
"Is that the beercan one?" asked Mr. Onstad.
"That's the one," my girlfriend said.
"Cool, good to hear," he said.
"As a matter of fact," I said, "I'm under very specific instructions to tell you that on a scale of 1 to 10, it rated an erection. " (It should be noted that upon hearing the words "specific instructions" my girlfriend immediately bowed her head and walked away, knowing full well what the instructions were.)
To my relief, he laughed at that as he drew a Chef Beef on the cookbook, and said, "So what does that rank as? A six or seven?"
"That would depend largely on the erection, I'd imagine," I said.
"Well, everything's bigger in Texas, right?" he asked.
I thought about that, and then said, "No."
This he found to be greatly humorous, and he said, "Listen, I don't want this to get too personal or anything..."
It was then that I became aware that I discussing my penis with Chris Onstad. Needless to say, this was neither the direction I had wanted or expected. Half-panicking, I muttered something about how all day people had been saying, "Now Robert, don't make Chris Onstad talk about your penis," and I had been all, "Oh well I'll try I guess but no promises."
Anyways, after that he told me not to cook the chili and we got a picture with him (on my girlfriend's phone - don't have the pic handy) and that was the end of that.
I apologize for the delay in posting this. It is currently snowing in Austin and I was required to drink beer in the snow.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Just wanted to say sorry Chris. (And mom, and college.) I guess it was a "Let's all say weird things about Robert's penis Saturday."
Just wanted to say sorry Chris. (And mom, and college.) I guess it was a "Let's all say weird things about Robert's penis Saturday."
qingofchina
+0 -0
It's cool, now Dr.Manflesh can make a fanfic out of your meeting.
It's cool, now Dr.Manflesh can make a fanfic out of your meeting.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Let's leave that corpse in the ground, shall we?
Let's leave that corpse in the ground, shall we?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Do not say corpse. Not when dealing with... this. No.
Do not say corpse. Not when dealing with... this. No.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Dr. Manflesh going necro is as tame as Ellen DeGeneres' dance moves.
DeGeneres is in the Firefox spell check. Something new everyday.
Dr. Manflesh going necro is as tame as Ellen DeGeneres' dance moves.
DeGeneres is in the Firefox spell check. Something new everyday.
gladi8orrex
+10 -1
ud hab 2 b sush fuckstupid 2 not spelt degenress rite
ud hab 2 b sush fuckstupid 2 not spelt degenress rite
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Wait! That's Irony !
[IMGS OFF]
Wait! That's Irony !
[IMGS OFF]
awko
+0 -0
I just about shit myself laughing at this.
I just about shit myself laughing at this.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you'd have to be so...
yeah, not touching this one.
you'd have to be so...
yeah, not touching this one.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's what she said!
That's what she said!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that is what i told her.
that is what i told her.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Yeah, that's definitely ammo for retardo (2 years too late)
Yeah, that's definitely ammo for retardo (2 years too late)
peterjoel
+28 -0
"As a matter of fact," said Norman, "I'm under very specific instructions to tell you that on a scale of 1 to 10, it rated an erection."
To his relief, Chris laughed at that as he drew an exact depiction of his own erection on the cookbook, and said, "So what does that rank as? A six or seven?"
Norman looked at the drawing of Chris's cock and was astounded. It was the most perfect erection he had ever seen! He allowed his eye to follow each perfect line that Chris had drawn, around the perfect balls along the elegant curved shaft and lingering around the juicy strawberry tip.
"So? What does it rank as?" repeated Chris, this time with a little more urgency in his voice.
Norman's mind was racing. He didn't want to appear too eager, and yet it was clear that Chris's erection deserved the maximum possible rating - maybe even more. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt electricity coursing through his body, and the less his brain could focus on an empirical rating system. Soon his own cock was stirring in his trousers.
Suddenly Chris was calm. He was smiling. Had he felt the electricity too? The rating didn't matter any more. Nothing did. He reached forward and seductively ran a finger along the shaft that was clearly visible in Norman's pants. Norman looked around for his girlfriend, but she had disappeared to the cooking section and wouldn't be back for some time.
Chris could sense Norman was nervous, as he began to undress him, and he realized this would be the first time that Norman would experience man-love in a crowded bookshop. But the sexual energy was infectious, and soon the Texas Longhorns, who had been queuing behind Norman, began undressing too!
"As a matter of fact," said Norman, "I'm under very specific instructions to tell you that on a scale of 1 to 10, it rated an erection."
To his relief, Chris laughed at that as he drew an exact depiction of his own erection on the cookbook, and said, "So what does that rank as? A six or seven?"
Norman looked at the drawing of Chris's cock and was astounded. It was the most perfect erection he had ever seen! He allowed his eye to follow each perfect line that Chris had drawn, around the perfect balls along the elegant curved shaft and lingering around the juicy strawberry tip.
"So? What does it rank as?" repeated Chris, this time with a little more urgency in his voice.
Norman's mind was racing. He didn't want to appear too eager, and yet it was clear that Chris's erection deserved the maximum possible rating - maybe even more. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt electricity coursing through his body, and the less his brain could focus on an empirical rating system. Soon his own cock was stirring in his trousers.
Suddenly Chris was calm. He was smiling. Had he felt the electricity too? The rating didn't matter any more. Nothing did. He reached forward and seductively ran a finger along the shaft that was clearly visible in Norman's pants. Norman looked around for his girlfriend, but she had disappeared to the cooking section and wouldn't be back for some time.
Chris could sense Norman was nervous, as he began to undress him, and he realized this would be the first time that Norman would experience man-love in a crowded bookshop. But the sexual energy was infectious, and soon the Texas Longhorns, who had been queuing behind Norman, began undressing too!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Rad! RAAAAAAAD!
Rad! RAAAAAAAD!
daedala_x
+8 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Is...is that your Heidegger paper, Daedala?
Is...is that your Heidegger paper, Daedala?
daedala_x
+0 -0
since you asked, i was going to post an excerpt from my paper. but heidegger is one of those things that you have to have a special vocabulary for, and when you take a class on heidegger, there are at least 20 (often hella hyphenated) terms that you learn once and never have to define again when using them. basically what i'm saying is that posting any part of my paper will just make me look like a huge douche and will probably not be interesting or helpful for anyone concerned. so yea, i drew a penis. hee hee i said penis.
since you asked, i was going to post an excerpt from my paper. but heidegger is one of those things that you have to have a special vocabulary for, and when you take a class on heidegger, there are at least 20 (often hella hyphenated) terms that you learn once and never have to define again when using them. basically what i'm saying is that posting any part of my paper will just make me look like a huge douche and will probably not be interesting or helpful for anyone concerned. so yea, i drew a penis. hee hee i said penis.
zapatos
+0 -0
ah shit, she changed her avi!
...i never knew
ah shit, she changed her avi!
...i never knew
qingofchina
+0 -0
This is what Chris used to get in trouble for drawing at school.
This is what Chris used to get in trouble for drawing at school.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Wow, photobucket is strict about the depiction of crudely drawn peni.
Just use your Xanga. I upload all kinds of atrocities there and they've never had a problem.
Wow, photobucket is strict about the depiction of crudely drawn peni.
Just use your Xanga. I upload all kinds of atrocities there and they've never had a problem.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
"But the more he thought about it, the more he felt electricity coursing through his body, and the less his brain could focus on an empirical rating system."
This made me literally ejaculate with laughter.
"But the more he thought about it, the more he felt electricity coursing through his body, and the less his brain could focus on an empirical rating system."
This made me literally ejaculate with laughter.
daidai
+0 -0
ew
ew
zapatos
+0 -0
Ha Ha hahohee HAHAHA
Ha Ha hahohee HAHAHA
catgrl131
+1 -0
Did it occor to you that he may have been just trying to draw a nintendo?
Did it occor to you that he may have been just trying to draw a nintendo?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
or a baguette.
or a baguette.
zapatos
+0 -0
That's Catgrl. I know her.
I know Catgrl.
That's Catgrl. I know her.
I know Catgrl.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
She is from...
History!
She is from...
History!
zapatos
+0 -0
Oddly enough, no. Not really.
because she is thirteen
Oddly enough, no. Not really.
because she is thirteen
zapatos
+0 -0
italics means i'm whispering
italics means i'm whispering
theguitarhero
+0 -0
She is from...
Future!
She is from...
Future!
kamet
+0 -0
I believe the children are our future,
I believe the children are our future,
zapatos
+0 -0
It is alright Robert, I saw weird things about your penis everyday.
Well my friend's name is Robert, and we make dick jokes. So I'm not talking about spinynorman's penis, or really even my friend's, just wangs in general.
Good story also.
It is alright Robert, I saw weird things about your penis everyday.
Well my friend's name is Robert, and we make dick jokes. So I'm not talking about spinynorman's penis, or really even my friend's, just wangs in general.
Good story also.
telescreen
+0 -0
I'm just sad to find out you live in Texas. Not that there's something wrong with living in Texas, it's just that my mental picture of you was so complete, and now only the college part of it rings true.
I'm just sad to find out you live in Texas. Not that there's something wrong with living in Texas, it's just that my mental picture of you was so complete, and now only the college part of it rings true.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Austin is a different animal, Screeny.
Austin is a different animal, Screeny.
telescreen
+0 -0
As Austin City Limits would lead me to believe. However, Crunky Boy, I placed spinynorman outside the US based on a type of Avatar racialism-profiling.
As Austin City Limits would lead me to believe. However, Crunky Boy, I placed spinynorman outside the US based on a type of Avatar racialism-profiling.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Interesting. Following that logic, are you from the seventh or perhaps the eigth circle of hell?
Interesting. Following that logic, are you from the seventh or perhaps the eigth circle of hell?
telescreen
+0 -0
Only if you hail from the ATL and get mad referenced by all levels of society through the work of a talented comic. If we go on my flawed logic, no one will EVER figure out what I am. The image is so far removed from context its ridiculous.
Only if you hail from the ATL and get mad referenced by all levels of society through the work of a talented comic. If we go on my flawed logic, no one will EVER figure out what I am. The image is so far removed from context its ridiculous.
davey-boy
+1 -0
Same here. At the off-off chance Onstad does a signing in my home town, I don't want any y'all to recognise me.
Same here. At the off-off chance Onstad does a signing in my home town, I don't want any y'all to recognise me.
zapatos
+0 -0
It looks like a squid, or a fat person melting.
It looks like a squid, or a fat person melting.
stereo
+0 -0
I always thought it was a horse's face. Eye and cheek, obviously with some tinting going on.
I always thought it was a horse's face. Eye and cheek, obviously with some tinting going on.
telescreen
+0 -0
I will say this, it is a beast. But a truly indescribable one. Unless you're Rudyard Kipling.
I will say this, it is a beast. But a truly indescribable one. Unless you're Rudyard Kipling.
rowboat
+0 -0
I used to think it was a tattoo of Giger's alien. The long head (or thing that appears to be a head) made it seem possible. I no longer think that.
I used to think it was a tattoo of Giger's alien. The long head (or thing that appears to be a head) made it seem possible. I no longer think that.
telescreen
+0 -0
It's not a tattoo, I will say that. But I really want to keep this a mystery just cuz it's so random. I will say this: although the picture was taken myself, the image I took a picture of may be found on the internet, but only if you know what you're looking for.
It's not a tattoo, I will say that. But I really want to keep this a mystery just cuz it's so random. I will say this: although the picture was taken myself, the image I took a picture of may be found on the internet, but only if you know what you're looking for.
octafish
+0 -0
...and you say it's a mark of some kind. A mark of some beast.
BTW do you like Kipling?
[i]I don't know, I've never Kipled.[i]
...and you say it's a mark of some kind. A mark of some beast.
BTW do you like Kipling?
[i]I don't know, I've never Kipled.[i]
octafish
+0 -0
Is it Hanuman? (sp?) A cigar burn? A silvery mystic leper? The rosette of a leopard? These are just guesses based on the Rudyard hint.
Is it Hanuman? (sp?) A cigar burn? A silvery mystic leper? The rosette of a leopard? These are just guesses based on the Rudyard hint.
telescreen
+0 -0
Nah, man. You're thinking about far too well known tales.
Nah, man. You're thinking about far too well known tales.
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Yeah, but it's still stuck in the bowels of Tex-Ass
Quote:
Austin is a different animal
Yeah, but it's still stuck in the bowels of Tex-Ass
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's part of the fun of getting there. Austin's worth it.
That's part of the fun of getting there. Austin's worth it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
How is it in Austin? I've always dreamed of going to SXSW one year and I already told my girlfriend that if she really wants to stay with me she better plan on relocating to either Austin or Virginia Beach when we graduate.
How is it in Austin? I've always dreamed of going to SXSW one year and I already told my girlfriend that if she really wants to stay with me she better plan on relocating to either Austin or Virginia Beach when we graduate.
biff
+0 -0
Any other considerations aside, Austin is breathtakingly beautiful.
Not the city, but the countryside. The view.
I have gotten lost more than once while driving through Austin because I was gaping at the scenery and missed my turn.
Any other considerations aside, Austin is breathtakingly beautiful.
Not the city, but the countryside. The view.
I have gotten lost more than once while driving through Austin because I was gaping at the scenery and missed my turn.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Are you sure you don't mean Dripping Springs? I mean, there's some Austin countryside that springs to mind, but Dripping Springs is, to me, where the real money's at.
Are you sure you don't mean Dripping Springs? I mean, there's some Austin countryside that springs to mind, but Dripping Springs is, to me, where the real money's at.
biff
+0 -0
I mean Dripping Springs too. And Pedernales. And lots of places in that part of the state.
I mean Dripping Springs too. And Pedernales. And lots of places in that part of the state.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
My blond, poufy-haired friend and I giggle incessantly in an annoying fashion as the bus rides past the road signs pointing to these places.
My blond, poufy-haired friend and I giggle incessantly in an annoying fashion as the bus rides past the road signs pointing to these places.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I almost want to believe that places like Dripping Springs and Pedernales are sex references. I want to be believe they were founded by perverts.
I almost want to believe that places like Dripping Springs and Pedernales are sex references. I want to be believe they were founded by perverts.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Using ZZ_Top as reference == true. Also, thinking names in 1850's, everyone in Texas were perverts == also true.
Using ZZ_Top as reference == true. Also, thinking names in 1850's, everyone in Texas were perverts == also true.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
also wimberley, san marcos...
i grew up in houston, and my family went to the hill country for summer vacation every year. i love the scenery, too.
also wimberley, san marcos...
i grew up in houston, and my family went to the hill country for summer vacation every year. i love the scenery, too.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
also wimberley, san marcos...
i grew up in houston, and my family went to the hill country for summer vacation every year. i love the scenery, too.
also wimberley, san marcos...
i grew up in houston, and my family went to the hill country for summer vacation every year. i love the scenery, too.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yes, yes, dear, we hear you. Run along now and play.
Yes, yes, dear, we hear you. Run along now and play.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
*runs along now and plays*
*runs along now and plays*
saulbellow
+0 -0
Okay, I just did that.
Why did you back up?
I was getting kind of weirded out.
THIS PARAPHRASED ACHEWOOD REFERENCE FUNDED BY THE JOHN D. AND KATHERINE T. MACARTHUR FOUNDATION
Okay, I just did that.
Why did you back up?
I was getting kind of weirded out.
THIS PARAPHRASED ACHEWOOD REFERENCE FUNDED BY THE JOHN D. AND KATHERINE T. MACARTHUR FOUNDATION
kickstart
+0 -0
THE CARNEGIE CORPORATION OF NEW YORK
B. DALTON BOOKSELLERS
AND
VIEWERS LIKE YOU
THE CARNEGIE CORPORATION OF NEW YORK
B. DALTON BOOKSELLERS
AND
VIEWERS LIKE YOU
foolishsparrow
+1 -0
THE CORPORATION OF PUBLIC BROADCASTING
THE CORPORATION OF PUBLIC BROADCASTING
foea
+0 -0
Virginia Beach kind of sucks, unless your goal is to work in the service industry for the rest of your life.
I grew up there, it's a strip of hotels backed by miles and miles of shitty suburb.
Virginia Beach kind of sucks, unless your goal is to work in the service industry for the rest of your life.
I grew up there, it's a strip of hotels backed by miles and miles of shitty suburb.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i will remember this.
i will never go there.
i will remember this.
i will never go there.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I grew up in Virginia Beach, and I love it there, so fuck YOU guys!
I grew up in Virginia Beach, and I love it there, so fuck YOU guys!
robbie17m
+0 -0
Over the summer my girlfriend's family brought me to Virginia Beach. Terrible drivers, terrible pizza, terrible service, awesome beach. Also, the house we stayed in was haunted.
Over the summer my girlfriend's family brought me to Virginia Beach. Terrible drivers, terrible pizza, terrible service, awesome beach. Also, the house we stayed in was haunted.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
You can buy frisbee golf discs at the head shop. That is how it is in Austin.
You can buy frisbee golf discs at the head shop. That is how it is in Austin.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You mean frolf?
[IMGS OFF]
You mean frolf?
[IMGS OFF]
belgand
+1 -0
That's how it is everywhere.
That's how it is everywhere.
ricnine
+0 -0
Disturbingly enough, that's the best story I've heard all day about erections.
Disturbingly enough, that's the best story I've heard all day about erections.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Third best for me
Third best for me
belgand
+1 -0
Top ten, but I work in the industry.
Top ten, but I work in the industry.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
He is one of the world's most truly gracious people. Glad you had the pleasure.
Post a picture of your new drawings. What did he whip up for your GOF?
He is one of the world's most truly gracious people. Glad you had the pleasure.
Post a picture of your new drawings. What did he whip up for your GOF?
kamet
+0 -0
I'm bummed I missed you!! I got there around 7:30 before the line got psychotic... pretty much peeled out afterwards. Will post a picture of myself and The Man when I get home.
And my claim to Onstad awesomeness is that he drew a Cornelius Bear flipping the reader off- which he made sure to state was completely out of Cornelius' character.
I'm bummed I missed you!! I got there around 7:30 before the line got psychotic... pretty much peeled out afterwards. Will post a picture of myself and The Man when I get home.
And my claim to Onstad awesomeness is that he drew a Cornelius Bear flipping the reader off- which he made sure to state was completely out of Cornelius' character.
kamet
+3 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
daedala_x
+0 -0
kamet COME ON SHOW ME HER GOOOOOD TIIIIIITS
i am jealous that your illustrations got speech bubbles. i just got a note under mine that said "YOUR TITS SUCK".
i am lying i wrote that in myself because i wanted a note from chris :(
kamet COME ON SHOW ME HER GOOOOOD TIIIIIITS
i am jealous that your illustrations got speech bubbles. i just got a note under mine that said "YOUR TITS SUCK".
i am lying i wrote that in myself because i wanted a note from chris :(
kamet
+0 -0
That is full on cleavage you see below my jacket, there. I just didn't have the chick cajones to unleash the beasts in a store full of nerds.
That is full on cleavage you see below my jacket, there. I just didn't have the chick cajones to unleash the beasts in a store full of nerds.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
This is my favourite Onstad picture. He just looks so... benevolent.
This is my favourite Onstad picture. He just looks so... benevolent.
zapatos
+0 -0
He looks very handsome.
He looks very handsome.
belgand
+0 -0
Handsome enough for you to rape him? Or do you now just desire that he rape you?
Handsome enough for you to rape him? Or do you now just desire that he rape you?
zapatos
+2 -0
I just hope he has a good day, and doesn't get raped by anyone.
I just hope he has a good day, and doesn't get raped by anyone.
sje46
+0 -0
WHAT WOULD YOU RAPE IF I RAPED OUT OF RAPE WOULD YOU RAPE UP AND RAPE OUT ON ME
WHAT WOULD YOU RAPE IF I RAPED OUT OF RAPE WOULD YOU RAPE UP AND RAPE OUT ON ME
falseprophet
+2 -0
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE RAPE SO WE PUT RAPE IN YOUR RAPE SO YOU CAN RAPE WHILE YOU RAPE
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE RAPE SO WE PUT RAPE IN YOUR RAPE SO YOU CAN RAPE WHILE YOU RAPE
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Even though this is another damn rape joke, and it's invoking a meme, I am chubbying you prophet. But only this once. Besides, it's not like anyone here watches the show the idea came from anyway.
Crackers.
Even though this is another damn rape joke, and it's invoking a meme, I am chubbying you prophet. But only this once. Besides, it's not like anyone here watches the show the idea came from anyway.
Crackers.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It seems familiar, I know I've seen it. Mind clueing me in?
It seems familiar, I know I've seen it. Mind clueing me in?
sje46
+0 -0
Pimp my ride.
Pimp my ride.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKED FUNCTIONS SO I PUT A FUNCTION IN YO FUNCTION SO YOU CAN DERIVE WHILE YOU DERIVE.
And so on. Learn more here https://encyclopediadramatica.com/SUP_DAWG
YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKED FUNCTIONS SO I PUT A FUNCTION IN YO FUNCTION SO YOU CAN DERIVE WHILE YOU DERIVE.
And so on. Learn more here https://encyclopediadramatica.com/SUP_DAWG
pogo
+0 -0
Lend me your Rape and I'll Rape your a song, and I'll try not to Rape out of tune.
Lend me your Rape and I'll Rape your a song, and I'll try not to Rape out of tune.
sje46
+0 -0
OH I GET RAPED WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY "FRIENDS".
OH I GET RAPED WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY "FRIENDS".
stereo
+0 -0
Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you rape her quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane condoms of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the rape in her eyes,
And she's gone.
Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you rape her quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane condoms of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the rape in her eyes,
And she's gone.
tekende
+1 -0
So how could I rape with another
I saw her raping there
So how could I rape with another
I saw her raping there
falseprophet
+0 -0
You don't always have to rape her hard
In fact, sometimes that's not right to do...
You don't always have to rape her hard
In fact, sometimes that's not right to do...
stereo
+0 -0
Sometimes you've got to make some rape,
and fucking give her smooches too
Sometimes you've got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometimes you've got to say hey, I'm gonna rape you
softly
I'm gonna rape you
gently
I'm gonna rape you
sweetly
I'm gonna rape you
discreetly
Sometimes you've got to make some rape,
and fucking give her smooches too
Sometimes you've got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometimes you've got to say hey, I'm gonna rape you
softly
I'm gonna rape you
gently
I'm gonna rape you
sweetly
I'm gonna rape you
discreetly
belgand
+0 -0
Not quite funny enough because the subject matter is too close to begin with. Thus not an effective manner of parody. There needs to be more incongruity.
Not quite funny enough because the subject matter is too close to begin with. Thus not an effective manner of parody. There needs to be more incongruity.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah but I started crying when I thought about raping the dead veterans who lie in Flanders Fields.
Yeah but I started crying when I thought about raping the dead veterans who lie in Flanders Fields.
tekende
+0 -0
THE FLETCHER'S MEMORIAL HOME FOR INCURABLE RAPISTS
THE FLETCHER'S MEMORIAL HOME FOR INCURABLE RAPISTS
sje46
+0 -0
I don't understand what is so psychedelic about tangerine trees. Don't tangerines already grow on trees?
I don't understand what is so psychedelic about tangerine trees. Don't tangerines already grow on trees?
belgand
+0 -0
This thread just started, but I'm tentatively calling this in your favor. Massive, throbbing v-chub.
This thread just started, but I'm tentatively calling this in your favor. Massive, throbbing v-chub.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
No worries. Ray will draw them in This Arc
No worries. Ray will draw them in This Arc
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, the full power of your womanhood would melt many nerds to a nubbin.
Yes, the full power of your womanhood would melt many nerds to a nubbin.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Take a walk on the wild side.
Take a walk on the wild side.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daedala_x, Dusty, KaMeT, falseprophet, ntopp, IronDave, theguitarhero, sje46, smilebuddha, peterjoel)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daedala_x, Dusty, KaMeT, falseprophet, ntopp, IronDave, theguitarhero, sje46, smilebuddha, peterjoel)
daedala_x
+0 -0
this is my first lame. it was hella necessary.
this is my first lame. it was hella necessary.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I never measure lames by how many there are, I measure by the quality of poster giving the lames. I see four lames from four of the better people here. That is an indictment. SO much so, I actually went against my policy of never reading what that dude writes.
What a douche.
I never measure lames by how many there are, I measure by the quality of poster giving the lames. I see four lames from four of the better people here. That is an indictment. SO much so, I actually went against my policy of never reading what that dude writes.
What a douche.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Glad intends on singlehandedly making sure no woman ever posts here ever.
Glad intends on singlehandedly making sure no woman ever posts here ever.
stereo
+0 -0
If so he's not going to succeed. I guarantee it.
If so he's not going to succeed. I guarantee it.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
That's because some are stalwarts.
That's because some are stalwarts.
biff
+0 -0
You guys still read his drivel?
Dang, he got three posts before ignore. And before anyone assumes I am ignoring people all the time, he makes a total three, including him, manflesh, and donkey_dick.
Oh, and a long list of one-offs from whoever that was making a new annoying identity every hour or so a while back.
You guys still read his drivel?
Dang, he got three posts before ignore. And before anyone assumes I am ignoring people all the time, he makes a total three, including him, manflesh, and donkey_dick.
Oh, and a long list of one-offs from whoever that was making a new annoying identity every hour or so a while back.
belgand
+0 -0
I do all my ignoring manually. I don't want to have people talking about something and then have to go through all the hassle of unignoring someone.
Considering it a purposeful shunning. I know that they are there, but I pay them no heed. No heed at all.
I do all my ignoring manually. I don't want to have people talking about something and then have to go through all the hassle of unignoring someone.
Considering it a purposeful shunning. I know that they are there, but I pay them no heed. No heed at all.
biff
+0 -0
You don't have to unignore. You can click on the word "comment" and it will display it for you.
Of course you probably want to right-click on it, and open it in a new tab so you don't lose your unread list.
You don't have to unignore. You can click on the word "comment" and it will display it for you.
Of course you probably want to right-click on it, and open it in a new tab so you don't lose your unread list.
zapatos
+0 -0
Yeah, just found that out. Dammit.
Yeah, just found that out. Dammit.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
There is an ointment for that.
There is an ointment for that.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Boo, Gladdi. Booooooo .
Boo, Gladdi. Booooooo .
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Dammit Glad, after I fucking supported you!
Dammit Glad, after I fucking supported you!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Glad, this is totally unacceptable and you know it. Get back to the casual racism and forced rhyming, please, for everyone's sake.
Glad, this is totally unacceptable and you know it. Get back to the casual racism and forced rhyming, please, for everyone's sake.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hedonismbot, ntopp, sje46, peterjoel)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hedonismbot, ntopp, sje46, peterjoel)
theguitarhero
+1 -0
STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE GLAD.
Please.
STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE GLAD.
Please.
rowboat
+0 -0
Why are you talking to him like he's real, gh?
Why are you talking to him like he's real, gh?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
If I beg and plead hard enough he will become real.
If I beg and plead hard enough he will become real.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Just like Santa. :(
Just like Santa. :(
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Check this out. I unignored him just so I could lame him, then reignore. The internet is wonderful technology.
Check this out. I unignored him just so I could lame him, then reignore. The internet is wonderful technology.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Glad. Let's be understood: I lamed you, and was upfront with it because you were an absolute dick to Kamet. I didn't hide. What I find completely obnoxious was the fact that you lamed two separate entries of mine, not for lack of taste, but because of revenge. Boo fricking hoo. If you would take the time to look back in your comments box you'd see at least one instance where I defended you, and several where I complemented your fractured syntax and word choices. My suggestion is to put the knives away, 'cause you're sharpening them on the wrong person.
Glad. Let's be understood: I lamed you, and was upfront with it because you were an absolute dick to Kamet. I didn't hide. What I find completely obnoxious was the fact that you lamed two separate entries of mine, not for lack of taste, but because of revenge. Boo fricking hoo. If you would take the time to look back in your comments box you'd see at least one instance where I defended you, and several where I complemented your fractured syntax and word choices. My suggestion is to put the knives away, 'cause you're sharpening them on the wrong person.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think this is as much part of his schtick as those other things.
I think this is as much part of his schtick as those other things.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
It's different when he makes fun of falseprophet for being "blak" because that's something that falseprophet himself claims to be, and it's something we all comment on.
This is just bullying for bullying sake.
It's different when he makes fun of falseprophet for being "blak" because that's something that falseprophet himself claims to be, and it's something we all comment on.
This is just bullying for bullying sake.
tekende
+1 -0
Glad's done this before, though. I don't think he actually means it.
Glad's done this before, though. I don't think he actually means it.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
For who?
For who?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Heccibiggs.
Who the hell keeps chubbying all your comments? Are you engaged in some sort of extortion?
Heccibiggs.
Who the hell keeps chubbying all your comments? Are you engaged in some sort of extortion?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
I don't know, I just noticed it.
I'M SORRY GUYS. You can all lame me to even it out...
I don't know, I just noticed it.
I'M SORRY GUYS. You can all lame me to even it out...
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Considering it's just been the comments in this thread, it's probably Glad.
Considering it's just been the comments in this thread, it's probably Glad.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And he heckled loneal. Where are those ladies now?
(I'm hoping they are making out in Crisco, but they are certainly not here)
And he heckled loneal. Where are those ladies now?
(I'm hoping they are making out in Crisco, but they are certainly not here)
zapatos
+0 -0
I heard they were lezzing out in some kind of baking ingrediant.
I heard they were lezzing out in some kind of baking ingrediant.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Do u like whoper
Do u like whoper
mattylite
+0 -0
i have had whoper
mcd's pretty good also
i have had whoper
mcd's pretty good also
theguitarhero
+0 -0
how bout pizza?
how bout pizza?
tekende
+4 -0
*thoughtfully fingers Cliched Reference card*
*thoughtfully fingers Cliched Reference card*
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I guess that's better than inconsiderately fingering it...
I guess that's better than inconsiderately fingering it...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't see what's Cliched about it though, I haven't heard it referenced in a while. Nonsensical Reference, yes but not Cliched.
I don't see what's Cliched about it though, I haven't heard it referenced in a while. Nonsensical Reference, yes but not Cliched.
belgand
+1 -0
They lezzed out in the kitchen while a fine rain of cream of tartar fell upon them like snow.
The cake, unheeded, grew cold on the rack while they put the frosting to new and frankly rather trite use.
"Aren't you glad we used royal icing instead of the fondant?"
"So very glad," she said as she hungrily licked up another spoonful.
"It's a good thing there's a lot more where that came from," she said with a glint in her eye. "We have a lot more cookies to finish frosting and if you keep eating all the frosting we'll never get this done in time for the bake sale. Now stop eating it all and let's get back to work!"
Belgand assumes that everyone is familiar with the stereotype that lesbians greatly enjoy making baked goods for charitable purposes and that this usage of "lezzing out" is understood by the average reader and is not just a local neologism.
They lezzed out in the kitchen while a fine rain of cream of tartar fell upon them like snow.
The cake, unheeded, grew cold on the rack while they put the frosting to new and frankly rather trite use.
"Aren't you glad we used royal icing instead of the fondant?"
"So very glad," she said as she hungrily licked up another spoonful.
"It's a good thing there's a lot more where that came from," she said with a glint in her eye. "We have a lot more cookies to finish frosting and if you keep eating all the frosting we'll never get this done in time for the bake sale. Now stop eating it all and let's get back to work!"
Belgand assumes that everyone is familiar with the stereotype that lesbians greatly enjoy making baked goods for charitable purposes and that this usage of "lezzing out" is understood by the average reader and is not just a local neologism.
sje46
+0 -0
GLADDI8ORREX DOES NOT% REPRESSENT ASSETBAR, LADIES.
THE GUITARHERO DOES.
Make of that what you will.
GLADDI8ORREX DOES NOT% REPRESSENT ASSETBAR, LADIES.
THE GUITARHERO DOES.
Make of that what you will.
zapatos
+0 -0
I don't know, I think he's just doing what kids do.
Hi I'm a girl!
Girl you are a stinky cunt-whore!
OH NOW I'M A SAD GIRL!!!
*secretly boy loves girl*
I don't know, I think he's just doing what kids do.
Hi I'm a girl!
Girl you are a stinky cunt-whore!
OH NOW I'M A SAD GIRL!!!
*secretly boy loves girl*
stereo
+0 -0
hey everybody zapatos smells like pussy
ewwwww
hey everybody zapatos smells like pussy
ewwwww
zapatos
+1 -0
*sniff sniff* oh no, now i'm going to try and have sex with me! at least i'll say yes.
*sniff sniff* oh no, now i'm going to try and have sex with me! at least i'll say yes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
the joke is that zapatos is a poon fiend
the joke is that zapatos is a poon fiend
zapatos
+0 -0
Joke?
Joke?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
[i]the reality is that zapatos is a poon fiend[i]
[i]the reality is that zapatos is a poon fiend[i]
theguitarhero
+0 -0
i knew this day would come...
the reality is that zapatos is a poon fiend
i knew this day would come...
the reality is that zapatos is a poon fiend
zapatos
+0 -0
dude, what? twice?
I'm saying, that it is no joke. I crave the stuff.
dude, what? twice?
I'm saying, that it is no joke. I crave the stuff.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The stewardess had never seen someone crave poon as much as he.
The stewardess had never seen someone crave poon as much as he.
tekende
+1 -0
He winked as he craved another poon.
He winked as he craved another poon.
belgand
+1 -0
When did he start working for RadiKs?
When did he start working for RadiKs?
biff
+0 -0
It's almost a manga poon.
It's almost a manga poon.
hamscout
+1 -0
hells yes, belgand...
many a bimbo box will feel the sting of zapatos' poon tonight.
hells yes, belgand...
many a bimbo box will feel the sting of zapatos' poon tonight.
zapatos
+2 -0
my harpoon
my harpoon
pogo
+0 -0
V-chubs for the whole "poon" thread.
V-chubs for the whole "poon" thread.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, well, if he keeps it up he's gonna end up getting a blast from a loogie gun and end up all sticky.
Yeah, well, if he keeps it up he's gonna end up getting a blast from a loogie gun and end up all sticky.
rowboat
+0 -0
Are you guys all getting boners at once?
Are you guys all getting boners at once?
pogo
+2 -0
Not til you brought it up.
Not til you brought it up.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Pogo: He knocks this one out of the park.
Pogo: He knocks this one out of the park.
belgand
+0 -0
Don't know about everyone else, but this definitely explains that wang-rise I experienced about 14 hours ago. I'd say it was inexplicable, but having your loins ascend heavenwards basically happens all the time with no clear reason most of the time any way so why bother even thinking about it. Now I know why though.
Don't know about everyone else, but this definitely explains that wang-rise I experienced about 14 hours ago. I'd say it was inexplicable, but having your loins ascend heavenwards basically happens all the time with no clear reason most of the time any way so why bother even thinking about it. Now I know why though.
zapatos
+0 -0
If we ever meet, I'm probably just going to stare at your chest. I hope that is acceptable.
If we ever meet, I'm probably just going to stare at your chest. I hope that is acceptable.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Seconded. Even if we only meet in the sense of me filming you
Seconded. Even if we only meet in the sense of me filming you
zapatos
+0 -0
Come on now Dae, I'm sure you have very lovely tits.
Come on now Dae, I'm sure you have very lovely tits.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
daedala_x COME ON SHOW ME HER VERY LOVELY TITS
daedala_x COME ON SHOW ME HER VERY LOVELY TITS
zapatos
+0 -0
No.
No.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Especially the one with the mole on it. I think about that one while I am at the store
Especially the one with the mole on it. I think about that one while I am at the store
zapatos
+0 -0
What store? I need to go buy things they sell, right now.
(you have pix right?)
What store? I need to go buy things they sell, right now.
(you have pix right?)
achilleselbow
+4 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I believe I've seen both of these things in Sega games. I'm almost certain of this
I believe I've seen both of these things in Sega games. I'm almost certain of this
biff
+0 -0
You mean both of the big fake titties?
You mean both of the big fake titties?
pogo
+0 -0
Can't you stuff some more silcone in, Doc?
Can't you stuff some more silcone in, Doc?
belgand
+0 -0
Large breasts means you generally can't wear a lot of really cute underwear. The stuff made for larger sizes is generally really terrible and pretty generic and unattractive.
Large breasts means you generally can't wear a lot of really cute underwear. The stuff made for larger sizes is generally really terrible and pretty generic and unattractive.
zapatos
+0 -0
asianchicksman
asianchicksman
falseprophet
+8 -0
The Justice League turns his application down every year .
The Justice League turns his application down every year .
smilebuddha
+0 -1
Well, that's pretty much because they have to more or less eschew form for function. Or, more to the point, you need a lot of sailcloth to make a schooner fly.
Well, that's pretty much because they have to more or less eschew form for function. Or, more to the point, you need a lot of sailcloth to make a schooner fly.
smilebuddha
+0 -1
That would be "fly" in terms of sailing speed.
I don't usually like to comment on my own posts, but if I didn't, my vagueness would have led to some horrible Photoshop of a floating boob covered in silvered fabric hovering over Lakehurst, New Jersey in an orgy of flames and horrible humanity.
...or maybe there should be. Get cracking!
That would be "fly" in terms of sailing speed.
I don't usually like to comment on my own posts, but if I didn't, my vagueness would have led to some horrible Photoshop of a floating boob covered in silvered fabric hovering over Lakehurst, New Jersey in an orgy of flames and horrible humanity.
...or maybe there should be. Get cracking!
randyleepublic
+0 -0
vchb lol
vchb lol
stereo
+0 -0
I kinda preferred those tattooed penises to this, it just looks unpleasant to me. I know, I'm weird.
I kinda preferred those tattooed penises to this, it just looks unpleasant to me. I know, I'm weird.
zapatos
+0 -0
The little mony mole guy is freaksih and in my way. Her eyes, its like... like...
ARE YOU READY FOR A CHALLENGE!!!
The little mony mole guy is freaksih and in my way. Her eyes, its like... like...
ARE YOU READY FOR A CHALLENGE!!!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You implication that just because she asian she like fight anime battle very racist and bad.
You implication that just because she asian she like fight anime battle very racist and bad.
zapatos
+0 -0
Your stereotypical asian dialogue is worse.
Also, you mean "sexy" not "racist and bad" right?
Your stereotypical asian dialogue is worse.
Also, you mean "sexy" not "racist and bad" right?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Looks like someone missed an Achewood reference (it's you).
And yes, that's exactly what I mean.
Looks like someone missed an Achewood reference (it's you).
And yes, that's exactly what I mean.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Japan man too krever. Already got potty shots too.
Japan man too krever. Already got potty shots too.
stereo
+0 -0
I finally connected the dots and realized your avatar is the same scene Tacodor was referring to when Todd asked him to act out Salma Hayek.
I still have no idea what movie it is, but that strip makes a little more sense to me now.
I finally connected the dots and realized your avatar is the same scene Tacodor was referring to when Todd asked him to act out Salma Hayek.
I still have no idea what movie it is, but that strip makes a little more sense to me now.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure it's Dogma.
I'm pretty sure it's Dogma.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm absolutely certain it's Dogma .
I know this because it is true .
I'm absolutely certain it's Dogma .
I know this because it is true .
shankley
+0 -0
I wonder if Onstad was excited to meet "the" Spinynorman?
I wonder if Onstad was excited to meet "the" Spinynorman?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Dinsdale.
Dinsdale.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Very, very doubtful.
It was weird enough we talked about my dangle, I don't need to weird it up more by capping off with "by the way I'm from your internet"
Very, very doubtful.
It was weird enough we talked about my dangle, I don't need to weird it up more by capping off with "by the way I'm from your internet"
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HIS internet.
Chris Onstad invented the internet. Spinynorman knows the truth.
he must be eliminated.
HIS internet.
Chris Onstad invented the internet. Spinynorman knows the truth.
he must be eliminated.
icicole
+0 -0
Damn, now I really wished I'd made it to the signing.
And I also drank beer in the snow.
Damn, now I really wished I'd made it to the signing.
And I also drank beer in the snow.
irondave
+0 -0
This is a fine story. However, Ruuuude Chicken is not the Beer Can chicken. They are different, but related in that they are both recipes for chicken.
This is a fine story. However, Ruuuude Chicken is not the Beer Can chicken. They are different, but related in that they are both recipes for chicken.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yeah, I wasn't sure about that... The Rude Chicken is the brining one. I didn't remember no beercan...
Whatevs.
Yeah, I wasn't sure about that... The Rude Chicken is the brining one. I didn't remember no beercan...
Whatevs.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The beercan one was posted on Achewood too, as a promo for the cookbook.
The beercan one was posted on Achewood too, as a promo for the cookbook.
tekende
+0 -0
And it is delicious. I made it once, and my girlfriend at the time and I ate pretty much the entire chicken after an hour or so of sexy times. Good night, that was.
And it is delicious. I made it once, and my girlfriend at the time and I ate pretty much the entire chicken after an hour or so of sexy times. Good night, that was.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I didn't think that was an actual recipe. Like, wouldn't it not be a good idea to have the can in the oven? Wouldn't the paint on it melt and bleed some toxic shit into the chicken, or at least give it an aluminum flavor?
I didn't think that was an actual recipe. Like, wouldn't it not be a good idea to have the can in the oven? Wouldn't the paint on it melt and bleed some toxic shit into the chicken, or at least give it an aluminum flavor?
tekende
+0 -0
Neither of those things happened.
Neither of those things happened.
belgand
+0 -0
Beer Can Chicken is such an old, simple, basic recipe. I mean, I can't believe people are still trying to pass it off as a recipe these days. It's the sort of thing you see in the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook at this point.
Beer Can Chicken is such an old, simple, basic recipe. I mean, I can't believe people are still trying to pass it off as a recipe these days. It's the sort of thing you see in the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook at this point.
sje46
+0 -0
How did I miss this thread?
Drunken chicken isn't dangerous that I know of. It is VERY delicious in fact, and also very popular. My parents friends and us used to have parties with drunken chicken, and I saw Lil John on TV once making it. And I've seen/heard about it in many other places. And I don't even live in a hick place . .. I think.
Does the recipe call for filling it half up with beer, and the other half up with barbeque sauce?
How did I miss this thread?
Drunken chicken isn't dangerous that I know of. It is VERY delicious in fact, and also very popular. My parents friends and us used to have parties with drunken chicken, and I saw Lil John on TV once making it. And I've seen/heard about it in many other places. And I don't even live in a hick place . .. I think.
Does the recipe call for filling it half up with beer, and the other half up with barbeque sauce?
belgand
+0 -0
I do not know. It is a recipe that I do not cook because I will not own beer, I do not want beer in my food, I do not want my food to taste of beer even if there is no alcohol involved.
I do have to wonder if it would maybe work with another flavorful liquid in place of the beer. Perhaps an empty soda can half-filled with stock.
I do not know. It is a recipe that I do not cook because I will not own beer, I do not want beer in my food, I do not want my food to taste of beer even if there is no alcohol involved.
I do have to wonder if it would maybe work with another flavorful liquid in place of the beer. Perhaps an empty soda can half-filled with stock.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't even know what beer tastes like, and I thought it tasted pretty good. Of course, half the can was barbeque sauce.
Give it a chance!
I don't even know what beer tastes like, and I thought it tasted pretty good. Of course, half the can was barbeque sauce.
Give it a chance!
belgand
+0 -0
I've had things with a beer flavor. I do not care for it in my food.
I've had things with a beer flavor. I do not care for it in my food.
pogo
+0 -0
The melting point of aluminum is a lot higher than the range good for cooking chickens, and you can't get that paint off easily, either.
The melting point of aluminum is a lot higher than the range good for cooking chickens, and you can't get that paint off easily, either.
irondave
+0 -0
No. No.
Beer Can Chicken is a very fine chicken preparation technology.
No. No.
Beer Can Chicken is a very fine chicken preparation technology.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
When I roast a chicken (every other week or so), I do both. A chicken is just a dead bird until you brine it. However, if you just throw a brined bird on the pan and roast it, you don't get crispy skin all around. Gotta prop it up, and I use a can. I shove the can into the chicken's can. Yes.
And fuck me that chicken is good. Something greenish, something starchish, chardonnay, simple dessert, all fuel for a long night of oral sex with no release til after the wife and I are unable to speak.
And don't forget to freeze the carcass for stock the next time you make it.
When I roast a chicken (every other week or so), I do both. A chicken is just a dead bird until you brine it. However, if you just throw a brined bird on the pan and roast it, you don't get crispy skin all around. Gotta prop it up, and I use a can. I shove the can into the chicken's can. Yes.
And fuck me that chicken is good. Something greenish, something starchish, chardonnay, simple dessert, all fuel for a long night of oral sex with no release til after the wife and I are unable to speak.
And don't forget to freeze the carcass for stock the next time you make it.
glorify
+0 -0
Oh, Spinynorman .
Oh, Spinynorman .
null
+0 -0
Whenever Vlad has extended dialogue, I like to hover the mouse over the double-arrow at the top and imagine it says "Previous Comink."
Whenever Vlad has extended dialogue, I like to hover the mouse over the double-arrow at the top and imagine it says "Previous Comink."
eidolem
+0 -0
Goddamn that Vlad is one hot piece of ass. I don't even care what robot asses look like, nor if anyone judges me for the perceived social stigma of wanting a robot's sweet lovin'.
Goddamn that Vlad is one hot piece of ass. I don't even care what robot asses look like, nor if anyone judges me for the perceived social stigma of wanting a robot's sweet lovin'.
zapatos
+0 -0
its okay Homosexuals.
its okay Homosexuals.
falseprophet
+1 -0
OK Homosexuals the new album from Radiohead.
OK Homosexuals the new album from Radiohead.
eidolem
+0 -0
On our wedding day, Vlad will behold me at the altar and say, "This shirt makes you look pretty ugly."
But I will not reject him!
On our wedding day, Vlad will behold me at the altar and say, "This shirt makes you look pretty ugly."
But I will not reject him!
mattylite
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
ROBOT ASS!!!!!
[IMGS OFF]
ROBOT ASS!!!!!
hateandwar
+0 -0
Success!
Success!
anticitizen
+0 -0
if you guys scroll real quick back and forth over this image of Liebot's ass and the hateandwar comment below, said avatar will appear to be nestled firmly betwixt Liebot's stainless steel haunches.
wait, wait, now I'm the comment below... ahhhh fuckles!
if you guys scroll real quick back and forth over this image of Liebot's ass and the hateandwar comment below, said avatar will appear to be nestled firmly betwixt Liebot's stainless steel haunches.
wait, wait, now I'm the comment below... ahhhh fuckles!
anticitizen
+0 -0
oh, oh wait nevermind. fail.
oh, oh wait nevermind. fail.
guikey
+0 -0
Wait...is it just me or does this strip not follow the previous one? I thought Vlad already explained the Connie/Stripper relationship as not being right with the universe and something Ray has to fix? But now it's a problem of the modern age dealing with opportunity costs?
Dammit, Onstad! Why must you fuse such subtly into your comics as to make analyzing them actually meaningful, and then throw us a curveball like this? Or maybe it's just that anything after the phrase "shit-hot mother sex peppers" is just bound to be disappointing. Ugh. I need to go buy paper towels to wipe the brainsplosion off my keyboard.
Wait...is it just me or does this strip not follow the previous one? I thought Vlad already explained the Connie/Stripper relationship as not being right with the universe and something Ray has to fix? But now it's a problem of the modern age dealing with opportunity costs?
Dammit, Onstad! Why must you fuse such subtly into your comics as to make analyzing them actually meaningful, and then throw us a curveball like this? Or maybe it's just that anything after the phrase "shit-hot mother sex peppers" is just bound to be disappointing. Ugh. I need to go buy paper towels to wipe the brainsplosion off my keyboard.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'm guessing Vlad wasn't so much telling what to do, as explaining why Ray had the urge to shit all over his friend's opportunity for trim. This comic is Vlad offering something else for Ray to do
I'm guessing Vlad wasn't so much telling what to do, as explaining why Ray had the urge to shit all over his friend's opportunity for trim. This comic is Vlad offering something else for Ray to do
anabanananana
+0 -0
Thanks for this explanation. With all the strange words in the comic, I was trying to wrap my head around the meaning--and the explanation made me appreciate it that much more! A chubby to you!
Thanks for this explanation. With all the strange words in the comic, I was trying to wrap my head around the meaning--and the explanation made me appreciate it that much more! A chubby to you!
tekende
+0 -0
Please change your icon. What you have now is pretty much the worst of the default icons assetbar gives you.
Please change your icon. What you have now is pretty much the worst of the default icons assetbar gives you.
ike
+0 -0
it's like i check achewood mad times a day and when there's finally a comic there are also over a hundred comments! it's a smaller world than i thought, afterall.
or something.
it's like i check achewood mad times a day and when there's finally a comic there are also over a hundred comments! it's a smaller world than i thought, afterall.
or something.
biff
+1 -0
It's not that size of the world, it's your place in it.
For some of us, that place is in a chair in front of the computer, for hours and hours and hours on end, posting on this message board.
You run through, reading the new comments, posting your new comments, then scroll back up to the top and click "Curr." Suddenly, it is a new comic, and you go mad with new postages.
But not you, oh no. You actually spend your time on a life! Pfah!
It's not that size of the world, it's your place in it.
For some of us, that place is in a chair in front of the computer, for hours and hours and hours on end, posting on this message board.
You run through, reading the new comments, posting your new comments, then scroll back up to the top and click "Curr." Suddenly, it is a new comic, and you go mad with new postages.
But not you, oh no. You actually spend your time on a life! Pfah!
zapatos
+0 -0
And I have only recently installed Assetbarista.
I had to work at this ish.
And I have only recently installed Assetbarista.
I had to work at this ish.
telescreen
+0 -0
I have smoothly transitioned from occasional, snarky chubby farmer who pops in now and then, to full blown maniac of the day. This is what sitting at my computer for the last 4 days has done. Fuck you finals. Fuck you so hard.
I have smoothly transitioned from occasional, snarky chubby farmer who pops in now and then, to full blown maniac of the day. This is what sitting at my computer for the last 4 days has done. Fuck you finals. Fuck you so hard.
tekende
+0 -0
telescreen sits in front of computer so long, he has yeast infection! Is mainly a thing of chicks!
telescreen sits in front of computer so long, he has yeast infection! Is mainly a thing of chicks!
telescreen
+0 -0
Only ten more pages to go!
This is made even more heartbreaking by the Trader Joe's anniversary ale 2008 sitting and waiting for the celebration to begin.
Only ten more pages to go!
This is made even more heartbreaking by the Trader Joe's anniversary ale 2008 sitting and waiting for the celebration to begin.
belgand
+0 -0
I find that it often takes at least an hour or two just to read the new comments and by the time I'm done with that and click to see what comments have been made since there are a ton more. It is almost impossible to keep up.
I find that it often takes at least an hour or two just to read the new comments and by the time I'm done with that and click to see what comments have been made since there are a ton more. It is almost impossible to keep up.
pogo
+0 -0
They do breed like flies, these "comments"
They do breed like flies, these "comments"
singtralala
+0 -0
man, i haven't seen a "dap" in achewood since the great outdoor fight
man, i haven't seen a "dap" in achewood since the great outdoor fight
popedragunov
+1 -0
I haven't seen a Dap since Ender's Game.
OOOH SHIIIIIIIIT
I haven't seen a Dap since Ender's Game.
OOOH SHIIIIIIIIT
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
what a terrible book.
the final sentence is seriously the worst sentence written on most horrible paper.
'he looked for a very long time.'
man, what.
what a terrible book.
the final sentence is seriously the worst sentence written on most horrible paper.
'he looked for a very long time.'
man, what.
belgand
+0 -0
No, what is worse is Speaker to the Dead. That book was just... it was awful. It took the lamest parts of Ender's Game and turned them into a full book.
No, what is worse is Speaker to the Dead. That book was just... it was awful. It took the lamest parts of Ender's Game and turned them into a full book.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i'm not reading anything further from that series (and dislike that i had to read the first one for my sci-fi/fantasy class in high school.
i'm not reading anything further from that series (and dislike that i had to read the first one for my sci-fi/fantasy class in high school.
belgand
+0 -0
I now dislike you a bit more. I read Ender's Game when I was a middle schooler in the gifted class. It was the target audience.
Oh, wait, I'm not some crazy Mormon so I guess I wasn't the target audience. Just the one that likes the book a lot.
I now dislike you a bit more. I read Ender's Game when I was a middle schooler in the gifted class. It was the target audience.
Oh, wait, I'm not some crazy Mormon so I guess I wasn't the target audience. Just the one that likes the book a lot.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well i dislike that i didn't put a closing parenthesis in that comment.
it's cool you like that book. books are pretty rad. it's just that i also read stuff like Harrison Bergeron by Vonnegut and watched hella movies in that class too.
that's all i'm sayin'.
well i dislike that i didn't put a closing parenthesis in that comment.
it's cool you like that book. books are pretty rad. it's just that i also read stuff like Harrison Bergeron by Vonnegut and watched hella movies in that class too.
that's all i'm sayin'.
shankley
+0 -0
In my youth I was a huge fan of Ender's Game. Although I admit that the rest of the books in the series blew.
In my youth I was a huge fan of Ender's Game. Although I admit that the rest of the books in the series blew.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I've only read EG and I enjoyed it, but I doubt I will ever read the others in the series.
I've only read EG and I enjoyed it, but I doubt I will ever read the others in the series.
pogo
+0 -0
Don't bother.
Don't bother.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
don't plan on it.
don't plan on it.
syncopation
+0 -0
Who else laughed at the Hammurabi line? Be honest now...
Who else laughed at the Hammurabi line? Be honest now...
pogo
+0 -0
I got the Hammurabi line, being a student of the rule of law.
I got the Hammurabi line, being a student of the rule of law.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I got the Hammurabi line, because I passed the 6th grade.
I got the Hammurabi line, because I passed the 6th grade.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
(It was a Current Events class! Awesome!)
(It was a Current Events class! Awesome!)
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I got yer Hammurabi RIGHT HERE!
I got yer Hammurabi RIGHT HERE!
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Hammurabi? I hardly know her!
Hammurabi? I hardly know her!
pogo
+0 -0
Where's Hamscout?
Where's Hamscout?
zapatos
+0 -0
In my closet, tied up with string
In my closet, tied up with string
hamscout
+0 -0
*muffled cries*
...of ectasy!
*muffled cries*
...of ectasy!
kickstart
+0 -0
Hams from Wisconsin all tied up with string
these are a few of my favorite things!
Hams from Wisconsin all tied up with string
these are a few of my favorite things!
hamscout
+0 -0
I should be tied up, for that spelling error.
(It's a 'Fuck My Degree Friday'!)
I should be tied up, for that spelling error.
(It's a 'Fuck My Degree Friday'!)
theirateturk
+0 -0
Some insights:
Kopek is Turkish for dog.
Howaaayver is an awesome way to say however.
Some insights:
Kopek is Turkish for dog.
Howaaayver is an awesome way to say however.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Addendum:
Green and Black's organic chocolate is proof of intelligent design
Addendum:
Green and Black's organic chocolate is proof of intelligent design
zennoshinjou
+0 -0
The first panel of this is why I love achewood.. somehow Chris nails these ineffable things so perfectly. Its always little things like this for me.
The first panel of this is why I love achewood.. somehow Chris nails these ineffable things so perfectly. Its always little things like this for me.
myfirstpost
+0 -1
I don't mind saying that I don't understand what the FUCK just happened.
I don't mind saying that I don't understand what the FUCK just happened.
theguitarhero
+1 -1
shut your FACE.
shut your FACE.
belgand
+0 -0
Please don't feed the trolls. Also, shouting all the time is not a valid schtick. I've read your explanation, but, in all fairness, it is still pretty annoying a lot of the time.
Please don't feed the trolls. Also, shouting all the time is not a valid schtick. I've read your explanation, but, in all fairness, it is still pretty annoying a lot of the time.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It was a joke because of his avicon, not because of anything he said...
It was a joke because of his avicon, not because of anything he said...
sje46
+1 -0
I do not find it particularly annoying and if it is it must be because you are overly sensitive to caps lock. Perhaps if the man was using Alt Caps Like This oR MaYbE LiKe tHiS or something it would be annoying but all caps don't really perterb me much.
I do not find it particularly annoying and if it is it must be because you are overly sensitive to caps lock. Perhaps if the man was using Alt Caps Like This oR MaYbE LiKe tHiS or something it would be annoying but all caps don't really perterb me much.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
tHaNk YoU sJe, I aPpReCiAtE iT.
tHaNk YoU sJe, I aPpReCiAtE iT.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
DiSaGrEeMeNt BoX
DiSaGrEeMeNt BoX
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Or... someone could explain what the FUCK just happened.
Or... someone could explain what the FUCK just happened.
plummet
+1 -0
holy fucking shit chris onstad
this comic is THE 5 . vlad won this whole fucking thing for his damned robot ass. this is some genius level character interaction. my face looked exactly like beef's does on the 5 marker while taking it in
onstad is my bro right now on so many levels
holy fucking shit chris onstad
this comic is THE 5 . vlad won this whole fucking thing for his damned robot ass. this is some genius level character interaction. my face looked exactly like beef's does on the 5 marker while taking it in
onstad is my bro right now on so many levels
asherdan
+1 -1
DAP
Nice transition of a sound effect to a word.
Maybe it's because the robot fist doesn't make the same sound as a flesh on flesh tap.
DAP
Nice transition of a sound effect to a word.
Maybe it's because the robot fist doesn't make the same sound as a flesh on flesh tap.
foolishsparrow
+0 -0
i believe "dap" is the proper term for the "fist bump".
*crooks, extends the index and middle finger of each hand repeatedly*
i believe "dap" is the proper term for the "fist bump".
*crooks, extends the index and middle finger of each hand repeatedly*
shankley
+0 -0
A 'dap' can also be called a 'pound.' Is true!
A 'dap' can also be called a 'pound.' Is true!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Also it's not a sound effect. It's Ray saying it. You druuuuuuunk, homes.
Also it's not a sound effect. It's Ray saying it. You druuuuuuunk, homes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Wow, an incorrect Asherdan post has been up for one hour and it has zero lames on it.
Also, it's Holmes not Homes.
Wow, an incorrect Asherdan post has been up for one hour and it has zero lames on it.
Also, it's Holmes not Homes.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It's Homes if he wants it, and no one cares. Furthermore, no one will give any credence to your comments as long as you keep using eyesore-douchey animated gifatars.
They seem to scream out "Schmuck Onboard!"
It's Homes if he wants it, and no one cares. Furthermore, no one will give any credence to your comments as long as you keep using eyesore-douchey animated gifatars.
They seem to scream out "Schmuck Onboard!"
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Man you just alienated alot of people here, don't you know?!
Man you just alienated alot of people here, don't you know?!
aperson
+0 -0
I don't like that guy any more.
I don't like that guy any more.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Me neither.
Me neither.
biff
+0 -0
Really?
Because you are the only one I know of who qualifies with eyesore-douchey animated gifatars.
KaMeT 's is animated, but it is a joy to watch. The Psychedelic Neon Dancing Tyrannosaur from back in the day was just awesome. Hell, even sje 's in only mildly annoying, and I almost never notice it any more.
Wait, that one, Deusoma 's flashy head, is rather obtrusive too.
But for the most part, there aren't a lot of people involved who could get alienated.
Really, I am glad for you that you got an app that creates animated gifs. But the entire community will be happier if you find something static and stick with it.
Really?
Because you are the only one I know of who qualifies with eyesore-douchey animated gifatars.
KaMeT 's is animated, but it is a joy to watch. The Psychedelic Neon Dancing Tyrannosaur from back in the day was just awesome. Hell, even sje 's in only mildly annoying, and I almost never notice it any more.
Wait, that one, Deusoma 's flashy head, is rather obtrusive too.
But for the most part, there aren't a lot of people involved who could get alienated.
Really, I am glad for you that you got an app that creates animated gifs. But the entire community will be happier if you find something static and stick with it.
kickstart
+0 -0
I like TheGuitarHero as a person, but I'm bummed that I missed Day Man and only arrived in time for neck-dancing Screech.
I like TheGuitarHero as a person, but I'm bummed that I missed Day Man and only arrived in time for neck-dancing Screech.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What are you talking about, Day Man is the one that is up now. CTRL-R and it should clear your cache out, so it will appear.
What are you talking about, Day Man is the one that is up now. CTRL-R and it should clear your cache out, so it will appear.
kickstart
+0 -0
Sweeeeet, thanks!
Sweeeeet, thanks!
kamet
+0 -0
Mmm.. titties.
Mmm.. titties.
biff
+0 -0
Agreed.
Agreed.
aperson
+0 -0
Hmm, actualtaunt has a horrible one with a wrestler sliding 12 feet on his 90 degree backward-bent neck. I had to block that one.
Hmm, actualtaunt has a horrible one with a wrestler sliding 12 feet on his 90 degree backward-bent neck. I had to block that one.
biff
+0 -0
Oh yeah, I blocked that one out of my brain.
Oh yeah, I blocked that one out of my brain.
belgand
+0 -0
I could never quite make it out enough to have an issue.
I could never quite make it out enough to have an issue.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Me too.
Me too.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I just don't see what is douchey about any of the ones I have put up so far.
I just don't see what is douchey about any of the ones I have put up so far.
biff
+1 -0
That's OK.
That's OK.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
wah-wah-wah....
wah-wah-wah....
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Ignore them, Theguitarhero. These old folk just feel alienated by such casual use of moving pictures, or "movies". It is okay to be you.
Ignore them, Theguitarhero. These old folk just feel alienated by such casual use of moving pictures, or "movies". It is okay to be you.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i used to get a lot of props for mine when i made it.
i don't know what else i'd want to change it to. *shrug*
i used to get a lot of props for mine when i made it.
i don't know what else i'd want to change it to. *shrug*
irondave
+0 -0
That's because yours is literature.
That's because yours is literature.
foea
+0 -0
It is actually usually "Homes".. it's short for Homeboy, Homeslice, etc.
It is actually usually "Homes".. it's short for Homeboy, Homeslice, etc.
jimbob
+0 -0
And i think that "homeboy" is a corruption of "hombre".
"Holmes" seems to be the usual spelling. But i guess it's a little unfortunate, as it clashes somewhat with the ironic address "Sherlock".
And i think that "homeboy" is a corruption of "hombre".
"Holmes" seems to be the usual spelling. But i guess it's a little unfortunate, as it clashes somewhat with the ironic address "Sherlock".
asherdan
+1 -0
Not incorrect .
First appearance was as a sound effect, now Ray is just straight saying it.
You people are so disappointing.
Not incorrect .
First appearance was as a sound effect, now Ray is just straight saying it.
You people are so disappointing.
aperson
+1 -0
It's never easy to please a self-important ass.
It's never easy to please a self-important ass.
asherdan
+0 -0
Hey, you made a contribution and I let it stand.
Too bad this next post screwed that all up. Want to have a neener-neener name calling contest like grade school days?
Hey, you made a contribution and I let it stand.
Too bad this next post screwed that all up. Want to have a neener-neener name calling contest like grade school days?
aperson
+0 -0
Let's have a name calling contest, but with a thin veneer of self-important assery.
Let's have a name calling contest, but with a thin veneer of self-important assery.
asherdan
+1 -0
What else do you think lubricates the inter-webs?
What else do you think lubricates the inter-webs?
foolishsparrow
+2 -0
...mom's lotion in the hands of twelve-year-old boys?
...mom's lotion in the hands of twelve-year-old boys?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Ooh! Ohh! A Poll!
Smarm-snot?
Ooh! Ohh! A Poll!
Smarm-snot?
stereo
+0 -0
The blood of infants?
The blood of infants?
pogo
+1 -0
Pussy juice.
Pussy juice.
sje46
+0 -0
He wins.
He wins.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This is so weird imagining Larry King saying this.
This is so weird imagining Larry King saying this.
belgand
+0 -0
I don't find it weird, just... greatly distressing. I can imagine Larry King saying it. I can imagine exactly what it would be like. I can believe that this might actually happen. It fills my dreams and I cannot escape it.
I don't find it weird, just... greatly distressing. I can imagine Larry King saying it. I can imagine exactly what it would be like. I can believe that this might actually happen. It fills my dreams and I cannot escape it.
biff
+0 -0
My favorite part of imagining him saying it is the goofy face he makes as he is saying it. You know the face I mean. His "Can you believe someone is saying this?" face.
My favorite part of imagining him saying it is the goofy face he makes as he is saying it. You know the face I mean. His "Can you believe someone is saying this?" face.
belgand
+0 -0
In my mind he is smiling at me as he says it. Much like in Pogo's avatar. Like a lecherous old man saying it to me to bind us together because we are both men.
Knowing that Larry King has sex is almost enough to turn me off it for life.
Oh look at me. I'm all hopped up on milk.
In my mind he is smiling at me as he says it. Much like in Pogo's avatar. Like a lecherous old man saying it to me to bind us together because we are both men.
Knowing that Larry King has sex is almost enough to turn me off it for life.
Oh look at me. I'm all hopped up on milk.
pogo
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm slowly getting into the Larry Kind persona, like he's relaxing after work and being sort of a dick, but also grandfatherly, a mix of bachelor and uncle, sophomore and senior citizen.
Yeah, I'm slowly getting into the Larry Kind persona, like he's relaxing after work and being sort of a dick, but also grandfatherly, a mix of bachelor and uncle, sophomore and senior citizen.
pogo
+0 -0
King! Damn my Saturday-morning-not-totally-awake fingers.
King! Damn my Saturday-morning-not-totally-awake fingers.
biff
+0 -0
Don't you want to have a kind persona?
Don't you want to have a kind persona?
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Nah, I have to be kind all day in person. Online, Ilike rough chuckles, and, of course, rape.
Quote:
Don't you want to have a kind persona?
Nah, I have to be kind all day in person. Online, Ilike rough chuckles, and, of course, rape.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Grape gravy!.
Grape gravy!.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
What do you mean, "you people"?
What do you mean, "you people"?
xiaomimi
+0 -0
I think the point is that it existed as a word in the world at large prior to being used in Achewood as onomatopoeia or otherwise, so it did not transition into being a word.
I think the point is that it existed as a word in the world at large prior to being used in Achewood as onomatopoeia or otherwise, so it did not transition into being a word.
asherdan
+1 -1
But it did within Achewood, the topic of the post and the reason for this discussion format.
On topic people, wandering minds are lazy.
But it did within Achewood, the topic of the post and the reason for this discussion format.
On topic people, wandering minds are lazy.
achilleselbow
+3 -1
Oh man, could it be that an Asherdan-centered flame war is imminent? Am I going to wake up tomorrow to find that's it's 2006 and Achewood is still good?
Oh man, could it be that an Asherdan-centered flame war is imminent? Am I going to wake up tomorrow to find that's it's 2006 and Achewood is still good?
belgand
+0 -0
It's like that Twilight Zone episode where everyone else is different, but you're still the same.
It's like that Twilight Zone episode where everyone else is different, but you're still the same.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also, much has changed in your absence. It would be cute and nostalgic to have an argument you over the exact nature of an onomatopoeia in panel 9 or Ray's expression in panel 3, but we do not talk about the comic here. Perhaps you would like to argue about feminism, politics, or musical tastes instead?
Also, much has changed in your absence. It would be cute and nostalgic to have an argument you over the exact nature of an onomatopoeia in panel 9 or Ray's expression in panel 3, but we do not talk about the comic here. Perhaps you would like to argue about feminism, politics, or musical tastes instead?
rowboat
+0 -0
Please don't forget rape and video games. Please never forget them.
Please don't forget rape and video games. Please never forget them.
belgand
+0 -0
And philosophy. Not to mention the relative cuteness of baby animals and a search for the most disturbing tattoos on the Internet!
And philosophy. Not to mention the relative cuteness of baby animals and a search for the most disturbing tattoos on the Internet!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
And what a horrible person that guitarhero fellow is.
And what a horrible person that guitarhero fellow is.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Nah, we're all pretty much agreed on that :-)
Nah, we're all pretty much agreed on that :-)
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah. We all had a little meeting while you were gone. You're banished to the XKCD* forums.
*Belgand actually likes XKCD, but it is the proper thing to say here.
Yeah. We all had a little meeting while you were gone. You're banished to the XKCD* forums.
*Belgand actually likes XKCD, but it is the proper thing to say here.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't even post there, that forum is so ridiculously horrible. IMO xkcd jumped the shark with it's post-election plot arc, everything recently has been shitty.
I don't even post there, that forum is so ridiculously horrible. IMO xkcd jumped the shark with it's post-election plot arc, everything recently has been shitty.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I've noticed that webcomics start sucking as soon as or shortly after I start reading them. Perhaps I am cursed and should stop, sacrificing my own entertainment for the benefit of mankind.
I've noticed that webcomics start sucking as soon as or shortly after I start reading them. Perhaps I am cursed and should stop, sacrificing my own entertainment for the benefit of mankind.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
But you have been reading Achewood for a long while haven't you? I think I'M the entertainment ruiner here, I started reading PBF RIGHT when he stopped drawing it, and I came in to Achewood around the wedding arc...
But you have been reading Achewood for a long while haven't you? I think I'M the entertainment ruiner here, I started reading PBF RIGHT when he stopped drawing it, and I came in to Achewood around the wedding arc...
belgand
+0 -0
Never, ever read Bob the Angry Flower then. I love that strip.
Never, ever read Bob the Angry Flower then. I love that strip.
tekende
+3 -0
Nah. It's just perception. When you're reading through a strip's archives, especially one with a large backlog like Achewood, the strips seem better on the whole because if one sucks, hey, click "next" and there's another one right there!
But once you get current the bar is raised because each time you read a new strip you have to wait a day or two or (in the case of Achewood) a week for a new one. It makes the less satisfactory strips stand out in your memory more plus you are frustrated with having to look at the unfunny strip for hours or days on end waiting for a new one.
Nah. It's just perception. When you're reading through a strip's archives, especially one with a large backlog like Achewood, the strips seem better on the whole because if one sucks, hey, click "next" and there's another one right there!
But once you get current the bar is raised because each time you read a new strip you have to wait a day or two or (in the case of Achewood) a week for a new one. It makes the less satisfactory strips stand out in your memory more plus you are frustrated with having to look at the unfunny strip for hours or days on end waiting for a new one.
tekende
+1 -0
(All of this is not to say that Achewood hasn't been disappointing lately; it has. But this would be why it seems even worse than it is, and why strips start to suck after achilleselbow begins reading them.)
(All of this is not to say that Achewood hasn't been disappointing lately; it has. But this would be why it seems even worse than it is, and why strips start to suck after achilleselbow begins reading them.)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OR MAYBE ACHILLESELBOW JUST SUCKS.
OR MAYBE ACHILLESELBOW JUST SUCKS.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
(says the guy everyone hates.)
(says the guy everyone hates.)
rowboat
+0 -0
Man, you and Sje...what, do you guys get boners from thinking that people hate you?
Man, you and Sje...what, do you guys get boners from thinking that people hate you?
biff
+0 -0
I have wondered that myself.
I have wondered that myself.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
YES OH GOD YES COME ON HATE ME MORE BABY COME ON.
YES OH GOD YES COME ON HATE ME MORE BABY COME ON.
pogo
+0 -0
Remember in 1984 when they'd get someone in a stadium and everyone would yell, "HATE! HATE! HATE!" until the guy died? Or did I imagine that?
Remember in 1984 when they'd get someone in a stadium and everyone would yell, "HATE! HATE! HATE!" until the guy died? Or did I imagine that?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Love that book.
Love that book.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Was that the Republican Convention starring Ronald Reagan? And Walter Mondale was the guy that died, right?
Was that the Republican Convention starring Ronald Reagan? And Walter Mondale was the guy that died, right?
biff
+0 -0
You did not imagine it.
It wasn't in 1984 though, it was in a short story by a different author. I have read it two or three times, but at the moment I can't remember who wrote it.
You did not imagine it.
It wasn't in 1984 though, it was in a short story by a different author. I have read it two or three times, but at the moment I can't remember who wrote it.
belgand
+0 -0
I think that sounds more like a mix of 1984's Two Minutes Hate and Brave New World's weird stadium religion nonsense.
I think that sounds more like a mix of 1984's Two Minutes Hate and Brave New World's weird stadium religion nonsense.
sje46
+0 -0
I wasn't born yet.
I wasn't born yet.
zapatos
+0 -0
woh holy shit, i think i'm done with this thread.
woh holy shit, i think i'm done with this thread.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Yes. That does seem to be a bit of a thing.
Yes. That does seem to be a bit of a thing.
sje46
+1 -0
No basically I got depression and I need constant reassurance that people at least tolerate me.
No basically I got depression and I need constant reassurance that people at least tolerate me.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You do not need constant reassurance.
You do not need constant reassurance.
sje46
+0 -0
But I do though, or else I have no self-worth.
But I do though, or else I have no self-worth.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, that sounds like a personal problem.
Well, that sounds like a personal problem.
sje46
+0 -0
This would follow. I have a few personal problems.
This would follow. I have a few personal problems.
zapatos
+0 -0
sounds like someone needs to grow up and stop caring about shit that doesnt matter
sounds like someone needs to grow up and stop caring about shit that doesnt matter
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You know how I beat depression? BY NOT GIVING A SHIT.
You know how I beat depression? BY NOT GIVING A SHIT.
sje46
+0 -0
.....
You guys are being a little douchey right now?
.....
You guys are being a little douchey right now?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
You're being kind of emo though.
You're being kind of emo though.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah seriously, I mean I struggle with depression as much as anyone but I get depressed about stuff that matters, not the acceptance of people on the internet or about girls.
Yeah seriously, I mean I struggle with depression as much as anyone but I get depressed about stuff that matters, not the acceptance of people on the internet or about girls.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm sometimes bad on this board but if you look at my posts in this thread I'm not trying to get pity or even really talk about my problems. I mean basically I'm just describing myself.
I wouldn't describe myself as really emo though. I mean I do not have the fashion of an emo. And I don't really complain in real life either. And emo is a noun by the way. I had an argument with someone who said that it can only be an adjective. No. English words can be more than one part of speech.
I'm sometimes bad on this board but if you look at my posts in this thread I'm not trying to get pity or even really talk about my problems. I mean basically I'm just describing myself.
I wouldn't describe myself as really emo though. I mean I do not have the fashion of an emo. And I don't really complain in real life either. And emo is a noun by the way. I had an argument with someone who said that it can only be an adjective. No. English words can be more than one part of speech.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
There are lots of ways to build self-worth. Relying on other people to constantly supply it by being addicted to a communication medium where you're provided almost instant interaction... probably not the best way. I understand Depression can be out of your control my friend, but it also can cause you to bend your environment to perpetuate the way you're feeling. Which is ironic because most of the ways you're trying to avoid the way you're feeling make you feel better for a short time.
There are lots of ways to build self-worth. Relying on other people to constantly supply it by being addicted to a communication medium where you're provided almost instant interaction... probably not the best way. I understand Depression can be out of your control my friend, but it also can cause you to bend your environment to perpetuate the way you're feeling. Which is ironic because most of the ways you're trying to avoid the way you're feeling make you feel better for a short time.
sje46
+0 -0
ARG. Please just ignore me when I'm like this.
CAn you explain that last sentence though?
ARG. Please just ignore me when I'm like this.
CAn you explain that last sentence though?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
When you constantly ask people for reassurance that they like you, it will make you feel a bit better about your depression for a short amount of time. Unfortunately it also makes you reliant on constantly asking for reassurance. Long-term plans for boosts to self-esteem are better than short-term ones. Especially if they start to make you seem whiny.
When you constantly ask people for reassurance that they like you, it will make you feel a bit better about your depression for a short amount of time. Unfortunately it also makes you reliant on constantly asking for reassurance. Long-term plans for boosts to self-esteem are better than short-term ones. Especially if they start to make you seem whiny.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah I know. You're right. Just ignore me please.
Yeah I know. You're right. Just ignore me please.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Also...
huuuuuugs.
Also...
huuuuuugs.
sje46
+0 -0
Thanks :3
Thanks :3
zapatos
+0 -0
It worked for me, only 10k up front!
It worked for me, only 10k up front!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
20K. Don't try to look like less of a fool.
20K. Don't try to look like less of a fool.
sje46
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
belgand
+0 -0
I wouldn't say jump the shark, but that election arc was pretty bad and everything recently doesn't seem like it's as good as the past few years. I mean, a few months ago even it was still really good, but it's just not blowing my skirt up now.
I wouldn't say jump the shark, but that election arc was pretty bad and everything recently doesn't seem like it's as good as the past few years. I mean, a few months ago even it was still really good, but it's just not blowing my skirt up now.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't know, normally I prefer it when Randall does relationship strips but the ones he's done so far have been horrible and mean spirited, although the Friends one was accurate.
I don't know, normally I prefer it when Randall does relationship strips but the ones he's done so far have been horrible and mean spirited, although the Friends one was accurate.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, I hated the Friends one. It was 'accurate' but it was also an annoying kind of 'I'm so cool' contrarianism where you take an opposing position just because you know that a lot of people you associate with have a general consensus the other way. Yes, Randall, all nerdy guys who want relationships to build gradually are actually opportunistic assholes and girls are totally justified in dating douchebag jocks. Everyone should totally just go around directly hitting on people all the time. You are so cool for realizing this when all the people who read your site probably think differently. Here, have a cookie.
Yea, I hated the Friends one. It was 'accurate' but it was also an annoying kind of 'I'm so cool' contrarianism where you take an opposing position just because you know that a lot of people you associate with have a general consensus the other way. Yes, Randall, all nerdy guys who want relationships to build gradually are actually opportunistic assholes and girls are totally justified in dating douchebag jocks. Everyone should totally just go around directly hitting on people all the time. You are so cool for realizing this when all the people who read your site probably think differently. Here, have a cookie.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't like your new avatar.
:(
I don't like your new avatar.
:(
falseprophet
+0 -0
I disagree with your analysis of the strip. The problem with the "Friends" approach as the character discusses it is that it is passive-agressive and depends on concealing his feelings and capitalizing on the loneliness that he somehow expects this girl to eventually arrive at, thus making it possible for him to make a move without making it obvious that he's making a move. I didn't think that it was a justification of the girl's actions. I just thought it was a setup of the guy's final line, which derives ironic humor by him saying he respects her, when clearly his planned method of developing a relationship with her shows that he does not respect her. And I don't buy that most people who read his site actually think the whole "be friends until you're vulnerable thing" actually works on an intellectual level. Or at least I hope not.
Some dudes just have The Best Romance Movie Ever playing in their head on repeat for all life because they never get out there and learn about it.
I disagree with your analysis of the strip. The problem with the "Friends" approach as the character discusses it is that it is passive-agressive and depends on concealing his feelings and capitalizing on the loneliness that he somehow expects this girl to eventually arrive at, thus making it possible for him to make a move without making it obvious that he's making a move. I didn't think that it was a justification of the girl's actions. I just thought it was a setup of the guy's final line, which derives ironic humor by him saying he respects her, when clearly his planned method of developing a relationship with her shows that he does not respect her. And I don't buy that most people who read his site actually think the whole "be friends until you're vulnerable thing" actually works on an intellectual level. Or at least I hope not.
Some dudes just have The Best Romance Movie Ever playing in their head on repeat for all life because they never get out there and learn about it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't know, I think it felt smugger than how you portrayed it.
I don't know, I think it felt smugger than how you portrayed it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Nah, I think you're being too charitable. Yes, you could just read the character as that specific guy who is thinking those specific things and thus should be disapproved of, but clearly he was making a larger statement about most guys who are in similar situations. What he describes as "opportunistic waiting until the girl is vulnerable", someone else might just as accurately describe as "building trust and friendship until the girl realizes how good of a connection you have." But no, he clearly states at the beginning that the guy should just "ask her out and move on", as if people are just fucking commodities and relationships should be initiated in the same way as business transactions. And why exactly is it just assumed that the girl is unhappy after they do get together?
Of course this is not to say he's inaccurate. It's how accurate he is that pisses me off. But that doesn't mean it's a good way for things to be or that he's right in defending it.
If I were writing the comic I would take it in the other direction and call for a general strike by nerdy guys to cut off all platonic contact with girls and deprive them of their "reliable guy friend that I'm not really attracted to" sources until they re-evaluate their priorities.
Nah, I think you're being too charitable. Yes, you could just read the character as that specific guy who is thinking those specific things and thus should be disapproved of, but clearly he was making a larger statement about most guys who are in similar situations. What he describes as "opportunistic waiting until the girl is vulnerable", someone else might just as accurately describe as "building trust and friendship until the girl realizes how good of a connection you have." But no, he clearly states at the beginning that the guy should just "ask her out and move on", as if people are just fucking commodities and relationships should be initiated in the same way as business transactions. And why exactly is it just assumed that the girl is unhappy after they do get together?
Of course this is not to say he's inaccurate. It's how accurate he is that pisses me off. But that doesn't mean it's a good way for things to be or that he's right in defending it.
If I were writing the comic I would take it in the other direction and call for a general strike by nerdy guys to cut off all platonic contact with girls and deprive them of their "reliable guy friend that I'm not really attracted to" sources until they re-evaluate their priorities.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It is also creepy how many of the comics are about his sex life.
[IMGS OFF]
this is randall munroe and he gets more sex than you.
It is also creepy how many of the comics are about his sex life.
[IMGS OFF]
this is randall munroe and he gets more sex than you.
zapatos
+0 -0
Doubt it. Also I thought he was in high school, is he serectly thirty?
Doubt it. Also I thought he was in high school, is he serectly thirty?
stereo
+0 -0
I don't think it's really a secret.
I don't think it's really a secret.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah I figured he was out of high school considering he can afford to put in a ball pit.
Yeah I figured he was out of high school considering he can afford to put in a ball pit.
zapatos
+0 -0
You're probably right.
You're probably right.
sje46
+0 -0
He is 24.
He is 24.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Wow. I don't love the strip, but that makes me feel unaccomplished.
Wow. I don't love the strip, but that makes me feel unaccomplished.
sje46
+0 -0
I originally thought he was in his 40s, for some reason. Then I realized that he was a senior in high school when I was in 8th grade.
I originally thought he was in his 40s, for some reason. Then I realized that he was a senior in high school when I was in 8th grade.
belgand
+0 -0
The dude was a roboticist for NASA. If that doesn't get you mad play* then life is a complete lie.
*With the sort of ladies it is generally ideal to get mad play with.
The dude was a roboticist for NASA. If that doesn't get you mad play* then life is a complete lie.
*With the sort of ladies it is generally ideal to get mad play with.
biff
+0 -0
Having been a flight controller at NASA, I have to tell you that NASA jobs don't tend to get you mad play.
Not until you travel to another part of the country.
Having been a flight controller at NASA, I have to tell you that NASA jobs don't tend to get you mad play.
Not until you travel to another part of the country.
belgand
+0 -0
Well, yeah, not in that part of the country I don't think. But also, robots? Robots and space? Isn't that getting the hot geeky girls all quim aquiver?
Well, yeah, not in that part of the country I don't think. But also, robots? Robots and space? Isn't that getting the hot geeky girls all quim aquiver?
sje46
+0 -0
He changed his picture on Wikipedia by the way.
He changed his picture on Wikipedia by the way.
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
You know, it doesn't really matter which way he's portraying it. You know why?
Because doing that doesn't work. Period. Sometimes it happens , yes. Comes out of the friendship naturally. But when you begin a friendship with the eventual goal of moving on to a more intimate relationship it just plain doesn't work.
Quote:
What he describes as "opportunistic waiting until the girl is vulnerable", someone else might just as accurately describe as "building trust and friendship until the girl realizes how good of a connection you have."
You know, it doesn't really matter which way he's portraying it. You know why?
Because doing that doesn't work. Period. Sometimes it happens , yes. Comes out of the friendship naturally. But when you begin a friendship with the eventual goal of moving on to a more intimate relationship it just plain doesn't work.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well it's not so much that you're beginning Thing A with the intent to change it into Thing B at some point. It's more like you start off with just basic human interaction and then try to move it to a point where the other person is comfortable enough around you and hopefully attracted enough to you that something romantic will ensue. I don't understand how it could work any other way, or this idea that people should just immediately declare their intentions like a buyer at an auction.
Well it's not so much that you're beginning Thing A with the intent to change it into Thing B at some point. It's more like you start off with just basic human interaction and then try to move it to a point where the other person is comfortable enough around you and hopefully attracted enough to you that something romantic will ensue. I don't understand how it could work any other way, or this idea that people should just immediately declare their intentions like a buyer at an auction.
tekende
+0 -0
But the thing is, that attraction has to be there in the first place, and a lot of times it just isn't.
Are you familiar with the Ladder Theory?
But the thing is, that attraction has to be there in the first place, and a lot of times it just isn't.
Are you familiar with the Ladder Theory?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, I know. I guess I just always assumed that most girls are not slutty and would like to get to know you somewhat before they decide to do stuff with you, even if they do find you attractive initially. I should probably stop assuming that though.
Yea, I know. I guess I just always assumed that most girls are not slutty and would like to get to know you somewhat before they decide to do stuff with you, even if they do find you attractive initially. I should probably stop assuming that though.
falseprophet
+0 -0
You know you can ask girls out on dates. You can do that. That's a thing you can do. You don't have to go up to them and start dancing on their ass and then be all "You want to get out of here." Because most of the time you do that thing at parties. And sometimes you don't meet women at parties. You sometimes will meet women at the laundromat or at the supermarket. You don't have to get freaky on aisle three.
You know you can ask girls out on dates. You can do that. That's a thing you can do. You don't have to go up to them and start dancing on their ass and then be all "You want to get out of here." Because most of the time you do that thing at parties. And sometimes you don't meet women at parties. You sometimes will meet women at the laundromat or at the supermarket. You don't have to get freaky on aisle three.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But like does it have to be an obvious "I'm asking you out on a date specifically for romantic purposes" thing? I just don't see how that wouldn't be weird. I always imagined that you sort of just start a conversation from mutual interests and then make non-specific plans to hang out.
But like does it have to be an obvious "I'm asking you out on a date specifically for romantic purposes" thing? I just don't see how that wouldn't be weird. I always imagined that you sort of just start a conversation from mutual interests and then make non-specific plans to hang out.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Most women like the direct approach. There are a zillion layers of subtlety to asking a girl out on a date though. It can come across as "I cordially invite you to be penetrated in an awkward way" to something really flattering. You also don't get to just walk up to a total stranger and ask. There is a dance to it. You do A, she does B, you smile for 5 seconds and ask C, she brushes her hair out of her face and says D... Pretty tricky shit. Romance works well on women you already know a bit, but you gotta be forward about your intentions pretty early on. Many women feel duped when a guy is nice to them then ends up wanting to date them. If it started as purely friendly, but you changed your mind, say so. Women like a man who says what he wants (and Zapatos).
And the comic was eerily accurate. The guy wanted to date her from the start, but really wanted the action to come from her side, so he tried to entice her into coming onto him in a moment of weakness. That's pretty uncool, but super common. Many guys aren't comfortable being the aggressor.
Most women like the direct approach. There are a zillion layers of subtlety to asking a girl out on a date though. It can come across as "I cordially invite you to be penetrated in an awkward way" to something really flattering. You also don't get to just walk up to a total stranger and ask. There is a dance to it. You do A, she does B, you smile for 5 seconds and ask C, she brushes her hair out of her face and says D... Pretty tricky shit. Romance works well on women you already know a bit, but you gotta be forward about your intentions pretty early on. Many women feel duped when a guy is nice to them then ends up wanting to date them. If it started as purely friendly, but you changed your mind, say so. Women like a man who says what he wants (and Zapatos).
And the comic was eerily accurate. The guy wanted to date her from the start, but really wanted the action to come from her side, so he tried to entice her into coming onto him in a moment of weakness. That's pretty uncool, but super common. Many guys aren't comfortable being the aggressor.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Quote:
This is what I don't get, why do they feel duped? Presumably the point of going on a couple of dates with a guy before you let him bone you is that you're seeing whether he's an interesting person that you have anything in common with. But how the hell is that different from hanging out as friends? Like if someone's proven themselves over time to be an interesting person and they're someone that you could see yourself being physically attracted to, why are they automatically disqualified just because they didn't immediately announce that they wish to bone you?
I am the guy in the comic, and I don't see how anything I do is creepy or "uncool". I don't see how I "don't respect" the girl by presuming that she is a complicated person who doesn't make decisions superficially and that I need to prove myself worthy and compatible before asking her whether she'd be interested in anything romantic, or that she's not some 19th century waif who needs me to play the part of the big strong aggressive man. The problem seems to be that I respect women too much .
If women feel "duped", they shouldn't. It's not some insult to your dignity that a guy whom you found cool enough to spend a lot of time with also thinks you're attractive and wants to be closer to you. What is insulting is subdividing guys into two different classes and feeling offended when one dares to try to rise above the little role you've placed him into.
I realize that you guys are clearly right and I'm clearly wrong in the sense of what works and what doesn't, but I'm saying that this is not a good way for things to be, and we don't need to be smug little assholes about it like he was being in that strip.
Quote:
Many women feel duped when a guy is nice to them then ends up wanting to date them. If it started as purely friendly, but you changed your mind, say so.
This is what I don't get, why do they feel duped? Presumably the point of going on a couple of dates with a guy before you let him bone you is that you're seeing whether he's an interesting person that you have anything in common with. But how the hell is that different from hanging out as friends? Like if someone's proven themselves over time to be an interesting person and they're someone that you could see yourself being physically attracted to, why are they automatically disqualified just because they didn't immediately announce that they wish to bone you?
I am the guy in the comic, and I don't see how anything I do is creepy or "uncool". I don't see how I "don't respect" the girl by presuming that she is a complicated person who doesn't make decisions superficially and that I need to prove myself worthy and compatible before asking her whether she'd be interested in anything romantic, or that she's not some 19th century waif who needs me to play the part of the big strong aggressive man. The problem seems to be that I respect women too much .
If women feel "duped", they shouldn't. It's not some insult to your dignity that a guy whom you found cool enough to spend a lot of time with also thinks you're attractive and wants to be closer to you. What is insulting is subdividing guys into two different classes and feeling offended when one dares to try to rise above the little role you've placed him into.
I realize that you guys are clearly right and I'm clearly wrong in the sense of what works and what doesn't, but I'm saying that this is not a good way for things to be, and we don't need to be smug little assholes about it like he was being in that strip.
xiaomimi
+0 -0
I think the issue is that unspoken attraction adds an uncomfortable layer to everyday interaction. She might feel she has to watch what she says around you. If she mentions someone she's dating or has a thing for, will that hurt your feelings? If she jokes about sex or compliments you on something, is she leading you on? These worries may impede the relaxation people expect to have when hanging with friends. Neither women nor men enjoy these situations (and it's not as though women never try to pull this scheme).
Traditional dating does allow a couple to get to know each other gradually, but it also prevents one person from intruding upon the other's private life completely, allowing for less clouded judgement and more chilled-out times.
I think the issue is that unspoken attraction adds an uncomfortable layer to everyday interaction. She might feel she has to watch what she says around you. If she mentions someone she's dating or has a thing for, will that hurt your feelings? If she jokes about sex or compliments you on something, is she leading you on? These worries may impede the relaxation people expect to have when hanging with friends. Neither women nor men enjoy these situations (and it's not as though women never try to pull this scheme).
Traditional dating does allow a couple to get to know each other gradually, but it also prevents one person from intruding upon the other's private life completely, allowing for less clouded judgement and more chilled-out times.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, I see what you're saying. It's just that "asking someone out" in the traditional sense always seemed like a paradox to me. If you don't really know each other that well, why would you even want to ask them out, and why would they say yes? Asking someone out when you don't know that much about each other seems to me the equivalent of saying "you're hot and I want to have sex with you", because that's clearly the only thing you have to go off. On the other hand, if you do get to know each other beforehand, you're likely friends by that time, and we're back to the situation in the comic.
Yea, I see what you're saying. It's just that "asking someone out" in the traditional sense always seemed like a paradox to me. If you don't really know each other that well, why would you even want to ask them out, and why would they say yes? Asking someone out when you don't know that much about each other seems to me the equivalent of saying "you're hot and I want to have sex with you", because that's clearly the only thing you have to go off. On the other hand, if you do get to know each other beforehand, you're likely friends by that time, and we're back to the situation in the comic.
zapatos
+0 -0
"Hey hi, maybe would go discuss topics of mutual interest sometime tomorrow? We could get a coffee if you're into that or maybe you prefer to make a suggestion of your own?"
It has worked many times.
"Hey hi, maybe would go discuss topics of mutual interest sometime tomorrow? We could get a coffee if you're into that or maybe you prefer to make a suggestion of your own?"
It has worked many times.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That's how I got Krystal basically, except it was over the internet.
That's how I got Krystal basically, except it was over the internet.
sje46
+0 -0
HAI GUIZ HIS GURLS NAEM IS KYRSTAL !!
HAI GUIZ HIS GURLS NAEM IS KYRSTAL !!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Anyone who knows me on Facebook knows this already and the people who do not know me on Facebook probably do not like me anyway.
Anyone who knows me on Facebook knows this already and the people who do not know me on Facebook probably do not like me anyway.
zapatos
+0 -0
Most people who have me on facebook probably don't like me anyway. There are some who do, because why else would they talk to me?
Most people who have me on facebook probably don't like me anyway. There are some who do, because why else would they talk to me?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
zapatos
+0 -0
I like you though.
I like you though.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
He really likes you.
He really likes you.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
He's talking about raping my girlfriend's underage sister! JESUS STUART.
He's talking about raping my girlfriend's underage sister! JESUS STUART.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I was kidding anyway.
I was kidding anyway.
zapatos
+0 -0
it isnt rape if you dont get off
it isnt rape if you dont get off
mattylite
+1 -0
She's all like 'get off' and you're all like 'I'm tryin' to'
She's all like 'get off' and you're all like 'I'm tryin' to'
belgand
+0 -0
It's not you, I just hate Facebook.
It's not you, I just hate Facebook.
xiaomimi
+0 -0
Forgive my presumption, but it sounds like you've been thinking of a date as similar to hanging out with a friend: that is, an outing where you expect to have a good time with someone you like, but with sex at the end. Sadly, one cannot expect either of a date a priori .
Rather, the function of a date is to get to know someone better in a situation that has clear spatial and temporal limits. The primary point isn't to enjoy her company, it's to figure out whether you enjoy her company. Liking the person, having a good time, and sex are all things that may or may not result from this process. It's a little more difficult than just hanging out with a large group of people that includes her, but it pays off for the reasons I mentioned in my first post.
This may seem like kind of an unpleasant process, but it's a great way to find out about bars your friends haven't heard of.
Forgive my presumption, but it sounds like you've been thinking of a date as similar to hanging out with a friend: that is, an outing where you expect to have a good time with someone you like, but with sex at the end. Sadly, one cannot expect either of a date a priori .
Rather, the function of a date is to get to know someone better in a situation that has clear spatial and temporal limits. The primary point isn't to enjoy her company, it's to figure out whether you enjoy her company. Liking the person, having a good time, and sex are all things that may or may not result from this process. It's a little more difficult than just hanging out with a large group of people that includes her, but it pays off for the reasons I mentioned in my first post.
This may seem like kind of an unpleasant process, but it's a great way to find out about bars your friends haven't heard of.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It does sound pretty unpleasant. In fact it sounds like a job interview. And it seems to me that the way someone would act under such circumstances is so far removed from what they are really like as a person that you would not be able to make any sort of effective judgment about whether you enjoy their company. But I guess that's just me.
It does sound pretty unpleasant. In fact it sounds like a job interview. And it seems to me that the way someone would act under such circumstances is so far removed from what they are really like as a person that you would not be able to make any sort of effective judgment about whether you enjoy their company. But I guess that's just me.
xiaomimi
+0 -0
Well, I don't know, you might be surprised. It can be a lot of weird fun and gets you out of your comfort zone. You should try it out a few times!
Well, I don't know, you might be surprised. It can be a lot of weird fun and gets you out of your comfort zone. You should try it out a few times!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have to agree with you. Elbox, I've enjoyed the boundaries that xiaomimi has already explained, though i'm guessing they make you feel too uncomfortable to enjoy the experience. This may have to do with how confidently you can walk into this kind of situation. I actually really enjoy it... and like a job interview, if they don't like ya, they don't like ya, not much you can do about it.
I have to agree with you. Elbox, I've enjoyed the boundaries that xiaomimi has already explained, though i'm guessing they make you feel too uncomfortable to enjoy the experience. This may have to do with how confidently you can walk into this kind of situation. I actually really enjoy it... and like a job interview, if they don't like ya, they don't like ya, not much you can do about it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also, hi! I am quite honoured that the legendary blog girl's first post in like forever was in response to me.
Also, hi! I am quite honoured that the legendary blog girl's first post in like forever was in response to me.
rowboat
+0 -0
Yeah, man. As you will find out, bad dates will present you with some of the most novel situations of your life. Good dates are rare and awesome, of course. But bad ones are pretty incredible, too, if you can appreciate the absurdity of the world and don't mind staring directly into it's terrible, terrible face for a couple of hours every once in awhile. In that way, terrible dates are kind of really a hell of a lot more interesting. Just gotta be able to see them for what they are. Luckily, it's generally pretty apparent within the first hour or so.
Oh, and it also helps that nothing could possibly matter, ever. Best dating advice I ever got.
Listen to us, elbox - we are basically sex gods up in this place.
Yeah, man. As you will find out, bad dates will present you with some of the most novel situations of your life. Good dates are rare and awesome, of course. But bad ones are pretty incredible, too, if you can appreciate the absurdity of the world and don't mind staring directly into it's terrible, terrible face for a couple of hours every once in awhile. In that way, terrible dates are kind of really a hell of a lot more interesting. Just gotta be able to see them for what they are. Luckily, it's generally pretty apparent within the first hour or so.
Oh, and it also helps that nothing could possibly matter, ever. Best dating advice I ever got.
Listen to us, elbox - we are basically sex gods up in this place.
pogo
+0 -0
[i]Elbox and Rowboat were at the bar, as usual, nursing cheap beers. Although they had written vast tomes on the innernets about chasing poon and scoring big in the bedroom, neither had actually been laid lately.
[i]Elbox and Rowboat were at the bar, as usual, nursing cheap beers. Although they had written vast tomes on the innernets about chasing poon and scoring big in the bedroom, neither had actually been laid lately.
pogo
+0 -0
One more time!
Elbox and Rowboat were at the bar, as usual, nursing cheap beers. Although they had written vast tomes on the innernets about chasing poon and scoring big in the bedroom, neither had actually been laid lately.
One more time!
Elbox and Rowboat were at the bar, as usual, nursing cheap beers. Although they had written vast tomes on the innernets about chasing poon and scoring big in the bedroom, neither had actually been laid lately.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Elbox and Rowboat are the Jack and Tyler Durden of the Assetbar version of Fight Club.
Elbox and Rowboat are the Jack and Tyler Durden of the Assetbar version of Fight Club.
rowboat
+0 -0
Pogo, dude, I live with poon. Regularity of poon-related adventure is not an issue.
Pogo, dude, I live with poon. Regularity of poon-related adventure is not an issue.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Choose-Your-Own-Poon Adventure.
Choose-Your-Own-Poon Adventure.
belgand
+0 -0
So basically you are saying that poon is not to be had almost ever?
So basically you are saying that poon is not to be had almost ever?
rowboat
+0 -0
This may seem like a somewhat incriminating time to make this decision, but I am officially done detailing my personal poon adventures on assetbar. It's become a bit too much of a Thing, of late.
This may seem like a somewhat incriminating time to make this decision, but I am officially done detailing my personal poon adventures on assetbar. It's become a bit too much of a Thing, of late.
pogo
+0 -0
Good call. She'll appreciate that.
Good call. She'll appreciate that.
pogo
+0 -0
Yessss, living with Poon! I remember that very well, BWAHAHAHAHAAA!
Yessss, living with Poon! I remember that very well, BWAHAHAHAHAAA!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I had bad date also. I never actually dated much anyway. This was worse than no date at all. This was after my disaster of a 1st marriage crashed and burned. Depressing before, during and after. I've moved back from Tulsa, got a 1/2 ton truck, building up a business, living in a cheap apartment.
I get some telemarketer type call one evening.
This is before Internet, but still is valuable lesson.
The caller's voice is petite, sexy, and she's definitely hitting on me.
I'm like "huh?"
You always build mental image to go with voice. This is punchline foreshadowing. Somehow we're talking about doing a movie, maybe dinner after.
I'm "okay, why not? What's to lose?"
Don't go there, Ray, is danger signs.
Okay, go pick her up at her house 6:00 in Moore. Park truck by curb, go up to door, ring bell. This gigantic female person, not tall, but wide. Maybe 350, 400 lbs? comes to door.
I'm thinking, "Oh shit, must be Sister."
I say, "Is Nita here?"
Charming voice comes out of giant blob person. She says, (of course) "You must be Vlad.
I'll get a sweater."
She is so ugly. Uglier than baboon in pickle factory. Most charming, chirpy voice.
She gets in pickup, springs GROAN and cab sags. Oh my. This is God laughing at my sorry ass. Haha, very funny, Mr. Asshole!
We go to movie, sit like 2 statues. There is no conversing because she is also stupid like bag of bricks.
I take home. Pickup truck sags again, this time with relief.
Next day, I tell my friend Scott who is working for me.
Scott laughs his ass off too. Scott and God, they laugh.
I had bad date also. I never actually dated much anyway. This was worse than no date at all. This was after my disaster of a 1st marriage crashed and burned. Depressing before, during and after. I've moved back from Tulsa, got a 1/2 ton truck, building up a business, living in a cheap apartment.
I get some telemarketer type call one evening.
This is before Internet, but still is valuable lesson.
The caller's voice is petite, sexy, and she's definitely hitting on me.
I'm like "huh?"
You always build mental image to go with voice. This is punchline foreshadowing. Somehow we're talking about doing a movie, maybe dinner after.
I'm "okay, why not? What's to lose?"
Don't go there, Ray, is danger signs.
Okay, go pick her up at her house 6:00 in Moore. Park truck by curb, go up to door, ring bell. This gigantic female person, not tall, but wide. Maybe 350, 400 lbs? comes to door.
I'm thinking, "Oh shit, must be Sister."
I say, "Is Nita here?"
Charming voice comes out of giant blob person. She says, (of course) "You must be Vlad.
I'll get a sweater."
She is so ugly. Uglier than baboon in pickle factory. Most charming, chirpy voice.
She gets in pickup, springs GROAN and cab sags. Oh my. This is God laughing at my sorry ass. Haha, very funny, Mr. Asshole!
We go to movie, sit like 2 statues. There is no conversing because she is also stupid like bag of bricks.
I take home. Pickup truck sags again, this time with relief.
Next day, I tell my friend Scott who is working for me.
Scott laughs his ass off too. Scott and God, they laugh.
zapatos
+0 -0
Scott and God just laugh and laugh, thank you Mr.Assholes, you ruin my life!
Scott and God just laugh and laugh, thank you Mr.Assholes, you ruin my life!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yes, you know exactly how this is. She was like perfect match for feline-guy a couple threads back. Not my type.
Yes, you know exactly how this is. She was like perfect match for feline-guy a couple threads back. Not my type.
zapatos
+0 -0
Sometimes bad dates turn into good dates. They turn into good stories to tell on assetbar anyway.
Sometimes bad dates turn into good dates. They turn into good stories to tell on assetbar anyway.
wozzeck
+0 -0
The best thing to do on a bad date is take charge, aim for the iceberg, and damn the consequences.
The best thing to do on a bad date is take charge, aim for the iceberg, and damn the consequences.
stereo
+0 -0
for best results, use Dam the Consequences (r) in combination with your favourite flavours of lube
for best results, use Dam the Consequences (r) in combination with your favourite flavours of lube
belgand
+0 -0
Wow. Now I think that dating is like 4Chan.
I lucked out. I basically skipped dating and moved directly into relationship. We had the summer together so we got to spend a lot of time together without going out on discrete "dates" and then during that first year I was away college the whole time. By the time it came around again we were living in dorms next to each other and she basically just always hung out in my room because I had my own private suite.
Wow. Now I think that dating is like 4Chan.
I lucked out. I basically skipped dating and moved directly into relationship. We had the summer together so we got to spend a lot of time together without going out on discrete "dates" and then during that first year I was away college the whole time. By the time it came around again we were living in dorms next to each other and she basically just always hung out in my room because I had my own private suite.
wozzeck
+0 -0
It sounds like you should stop rationalizing chickenshit and just go chase the hell out of some ladies. Biological imperative or bust, achilleselbow!
It sounds like you should stop rationalizing chickenshit and just go chase the hell out of some ladies. Biological imperative or bust, achilleselbow!
sje46
+0 -0
I know how you feel. I feel really uncomfortable about that too.
I know how you feel. I feel really uncomfortable about that too.
zapatos
+0 -0
I don't actually think you're wrong, I have many female friends I can't sleep with. Which is odd because they know I'm good in the sack, they think I'm sexy, and they enjoy being around me...
FUCKING CRAZY
I don't actually think you're wrong, I have many female friends I can't sleep with. Which is odd because they know I'm good in the sack, they think I'm sexy, and they enjoy being around me...
FUCKING CRAZY
wozzeck
+0 -0
Women desire to be desired, not mutually interested at.
Women desire to be desired, not mutually interested at.
zapatos
+0 -0
whaaat is your desiiire?
whaaat is your desiiire?
stereo
+0 -0
You are... my fire.
My one... desiiire.
Believe when I say...
I want it that way .
You are... my fire.
My one... desiiire.
Believe when I say...
I want it that way .
belgand
+0 -0
Translation: Dude wants to bugger you. Actually ,that's not entirely true. He may want you to peg him. It is unclear.
Translation: Dude wants to bugger you. Actually ,that's not entirely true. He may want you to peg him. It is unclear.
zapatos
+0 -0
What?
I was quoting the Galactic Layline, you guys are pervs.
What?
I was quoting the Galactic Layline, you guys are pervs.
belgand
+0 -0
Actually, Safeway has changed their policies. Aisle three is deprecated. All of the mad sexing is supposed to be taking place over in the flour and baking goods aisle now.
Actually, Safeway has changed their policies. Aisle three is deprecated. All of the mad sexing is supposed to be taking place over in the flour and baking goods aisle now.
belgand
+0 -0
Speaking of which, I wasn't around for it, but I hear tell (and while I couldn't get into Tales of the City at all it's also referenced in that) that for a while in 70s or so there was a Safeway here in town that was basically known as a pick-up spot. It was a specifically cruisey supermarket.
Speaking of which, I wasn't around for it, but I hear tell (and while I couldn't get into Tales of the City at all it's also referenced in that) that for a while in 70s or so there was a Safeway here in town that was basically known as a pick-up spot. It was a specifically cruisey supermarket.
zapatos
+0 -0
You should most definitely stop assuming that.
You should most definitely stop assuming that.
biff
+0 -0
Wait, are you analyzing an XKCD strip?
That one from a day or so ago when the guy is such a pathetic loser he tries some bullshit method to get together with a girl?
When the strip is about math it is almost always funny. When it is about language it is often funny.
The rest of the time it usually sucks.
A little while back, he disrespected Anathem by Neal Stephenson. While that book is far from Stephenson's best, it is still better than most books out there. When I read that I thought, "Do I really want to read this comic any more?"
AnyFuckingWay.
Wait, are you analyzing an XKCD strip?
That one from a day or so ago when the guy is such a pathetic loser he tries some bullshit method to get together with a girl?
When the strip is about math it is almost always funny. When it is about language it is often funny.
The rest of the time it usually sucks.
A little while back, he disrespected Anathem by Neal Stephenson. While that book is far from Stephenson's best, it is still better than most books out there. When I read that I thought, "Do I really want to read this comic any more?"
AnyFuckingWay.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh biff, I'm loving on you in many ways here. He is hilarious when talking about nerdy things, not so much when he's talking about nerds. He was positively AWFUL for the first good while of making the strip, then got funny, then even better. Except when he's really going after it with relationship or culture.
And he can burn in ever-raping hell for mocking Anathem. The premise of that book has left me erect since September.
Oh biff, I'm loving on you in many ways here. He is hilarious when talking about nerdy things, not so much when he's talking about nerds. He was positively AWFUL for the first good while of making the strip, then got funny, then even better. Except when he's really going after it with relationship or culture.
And he can burn in ever-raping hell for mocking Anathem. The premise of that book has left me erect since September.
biff
+0 -0
Did you read the Onion AV Club's interview with Stephenson? The interviewer asked him about the reference in XKCD, and Stephenson calmly, patiently, and without malice ripped the cartoonist a new one. It was fantastic.
Did you read the Onion AV Club's interview with Stephenson? The interviewer asked him about the reference in XKCD, and Stephenson calmly, patiently, and without malice ripped the cartoonist a new one. It was fantastic.
stereo
+0 -0
I don't remember him referring to Anathem , was it the one where he indicated that he doesn't like books that make up all new vocabulary?
I don't remember him referring to Anathem , was it the one where he indicated that he doesn't like books that make up all new vocabulary?
belgand
+0 -0
He had a point about Anathem though. I, for some reason, got it from the library and realized I wouldn't have the time to finish it and get it back in time and since it was on request from tons of other people I couldn't re-check it so I never actually read it, but just looking at the inside of the dust jacket he made up too damn many new words for it.
Frank Herbert had kind of a point to it in Dune, but even then he also made up too damn many new words. It was a great book, but I shouldn't need to be flipping back to the glossary every few seconds to find out what some fairly unimportant word means.
At least Trainspotting taught me about Scottish slang and expressions. I also eventually managed to read through the accent. Still, that was maybe not so great an idea. I can see what he was doing, but it was, well, not needed. I can imagine accents, I don't really need to read them unless you're trying to make very specific points regarding timing and inflection that is relevant to the conversation.
He had a point about Anathem though. I, for some reason, got it from the library and realized I wouldn't have the time to finish it and get it back in time and since it was on request from tons of other people I couldn't re-check it so I never actually read it, but just looking at the inside of the dust jacket he made up too damn many new words for it.
Frank Herbert had kind of a point to it in Dune, but even then he also made up too damn many new words. It was a great book, but I shouldn't need to be flipping back to the glossary every few seconds to find out what some fairly unimportant word means.
At least Trainspotting taught me about Scottish slang and expressions. I also eventually managed to read through the accent. Still, that was maybe not so great an idea. I can see what he was doing, but it was, well, not needed. I can imagine accents, I don't really need to read them unless you're trying to make very specific points regarding timing and inflection that is relevant to the conversation.
biff
+0 -0
I never looked in the glossary. I was able to get it from context as I went along. At least enough to keep moving, without flipping back and forth.
I never looked in the glossary. I was able to get it from context as I went along. At least enough to keep moving, without flipping back and forth.
falseprophet
+1 -0
This was a point of contention for me and my thesis advisor. I was writing a sort of sci-fi and fantasy novel and he basically told me I wasn't making up enough new words and I shouldn't be explaining what they mean to my readers. And I was like "But I'm sick of all the neologisms in sci fi and fantasy. That's like the main reason I only watch anime" and that made him groan because he just doesn't think there is any anime that ascends to the level of literature like science fiction. He told me to read Neuromancer and so I started to read it but I was like, "Look, I just can't get through this. He's got all this new technology, most of which is dated by now anyway, but he's got seven slang terms in a sentence that provides no context" and he would smugly smile like "Hey that's how real science fiction is buddy" and I'm all "But we can do better than that" and he's like "Yes we can!" and I'm all "So let's go back to what I was doing" and he's all "NoOoOo!!!" and I'm all "FuUuUcK!"
This was a point of contention for me and my thesis advisor. I was writing a sort of sci-fi and fantasy novel and he basically told me I wasn't making up enough new words and I shouldn't be explaining what they mean to my readers. And I was like "But I'm sick of all the neologisms in sci fi and fantasy. That's like the main reason I only watch anime" and that made him groan because he just doesn't think there is any anime that ascends to the level of literature like science fiction. He told me to read Neuromancer and so I started to read it but I was like, "Look, I just can't get through this. He's got all this new technology, most of which is dated by now anyway, but he's got seven slang terms in a sentence that provides no context" and he would smugly smile like "Hey that's how real science fiction is buddy" and I'm all "But we can do better than that" and he's like "Yes we can!" and I'm all "So let's go back to what I was doing" and he's all "NoOoOo!!!" and I'm all "FuUuUcK!"
theguitarhero
+0 -0
And then you cut his head off.
And then you cut his head off.
zapatos
+0 -1
With his big black dick?
which is... sharp? maybe even detachable? with a full tang?
With his big black dick?
which is... sharp? maybe even detachable? with a full tang?
belgand
+1 -0
Are you... are you ragging on Neuromancer?
There's a time and a place and a limit for neologisms. In some cases it makes sense and it's not too hard to work out. When you talk about cyberspace or being represented by an avatar it's not too hard to work out and it's one of a very small number of new slang terms that are needed to define the nature of the world.
When you come up with totally pointless new words to explain things that can already be said with regular words or you come up with new words and concepts that aren't really needed that's when you cross the line.
Your advisor was a douche though.
Worst neologism I can immediately think of: "muggle". Totally awful word that sounds incredibly stupid and never needed to be invented. Everyone else has been saying "mundane" for years and year and years in all sorts of fantasy and sci-fi to similarly refer to people who are not part of the special group that is part of the book. No need to invent the god-damned stupidest thing possible to explain the same concept.
I have hella issues with how Harry Potter sucks though.
Are you... are you ragging on Neuromancer?
There's a time and a place and a limit for neologisms. In some cases it makes sense and it's not too hard to work out. When you talk about cyberspace or being represented by an avatar it's not too hard to work out and it's one of a very small number of new slang terms that are needed to define the nature of the world.
When you come up with totally pointless new words to explain things that can already be said with regular words or you come up with new words and concepts that aren't really needed that's when you cross the line.
Your advisor was a douche though.
Worst neologism I can immediately think of: "muggle". Totally awful word that sounds incredibly stupid and never needed to be invented. Everyone else has been saying "mundane" for years and year and years in all sorts of fantasy and sci-fi to similarly refer to people who are not part of the special group that is part of the book. No need to invent the god-damned stupidest thing possible to explain the same concept.
I have hella issues with how Harry Potter sucks though.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Harry Potter is to fantasy what Good Charlotte is to punk.
Harry Potter is to fantasy what Good Charlotte is to punk.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Good for an introduction for 13-year-olds? Then they go back and get into the things that are older than they are, because the current generation of both suck?
Good for an introduction for 13-year-olds? Then they go back and get into the things that are older than they are, because the current generation of both suck?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Ideally that's the way it would work. Instead, they just get into the numerous other clones that have popped up to form an entire bastardized genre, and never feel the need to discover better things.
Ideally that's the way it would work. Instead, they just get into the numerous other clones that have popped up to form an entire bastardized genre, and never feel the need to discover better things.
belgand
+0 -0
That is so on the mark that I can barely stand it.
Since we're giving it to pop-punk bullshit straight up can we also take a moment to acknowledge how much damage Green Day has done?
When the final book came out it actually got to me a little bit. These things took a while to come out. These kids actually grew up with this. It's totally a thing in that way (as opposed to just a general cultural trend which was a different sort of thing). It took ten years to be fully published. If you started reading when you were ten or so or even if you started a bit after they'd already come out you are now a late teen. I fear for what this will mean in the future.
His Dark Materials, while a bit interesting, didn't get me going either. I feel like it just started getting... weird and disjointed after the first book. By the third I was just reading it to finish it rather than actually caring.
That is so on the mark that I can barely stand it.
Since we're giving it to pop-punk bullshit straight up can we also take a moment to acknowledge how much damage Green Day has done?
When the final book came out it actually got to me a little bit. These things took a while to come out. These kids actually grew up with this. It's totally a thing in that way (as opposed to just a general cultural trend which was a different sort of thing). It took ten years to be fully published. If you started reading when you were ten or so or even if you started a bit after they'd already come out you are now a late teen. I fear for what this will mean in the future.
His Dark Materials, while a bit interesting, didn't get me going either. I feel like it just started getting... weird and disjointed after the first book. By the third I was just reading it to finish it rather than actually caring.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Coming soon...
Harry Potter and the Novelist's Obvious Disdain.
Coming soon...
Harry Potter and the Novelist's Obvious Disdain.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Harry Potter and the Clear Attempt to Cash in on Lonely Kids.
Harry Potter and the Clear Attempt to Cash in on Lonely Kids.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I was in the wrong in my earlier comment. I wasn't reading Neuromancer ; I think the problem was I was actually reading Count Zero because my thesis advisor seemed to think that it is possible to read and understand it without reading Neuromancer first, but I started Neuromancer and I found it a lot easier to get the context.
I enjoyed Harry Potter , but I can understand your criticisms of it. It would have made more sense if "muggle" was actually supposed to be a bigoted slur, but the only bigoted slur was "mudblood." I think "squib" was supposed to be one too.
I also didn't like how at times Rowling's prose seemed tailor-made to the action movie adaptations that eventually came, and I thought Harry himself was the blandest character in the series.
I was in the wrong in my earlier comment. I wasn't reading Neuromancer ; I think the problem was I was actually reading Count Zero because my thesis advisor seemed to think that it is possible to read and understand it without reading Neuromancer first, but I started Neuromancer and I found it a lot easier to get the context.
I enjoyed Harry Potter , but I can understand your criticisms of it. It would have made more sense if "muggle" was actually supposed to be a bigoted slur, but the only bigoted slur was "mudblood." I think "squib" was supposed to be one too.
I also didn't like how at times Rowling's prose seemed tailor-made to the action movie adaptations that eventually came, and I thought Harry himself was the blandest character in the series.
biff
+1 -0
Rowling absolutely ruined Harry Potter in the fifth book. Absofuckinglutely ruined it.
Spoiler Alert!!!
Sirius gave Harry a gift at Christmas, a mirror that Harry could always use to talk to Sirius, without detection or interruption. But Harry threw a snit, and never opened the gift.
Later, after Christmas, Harry needed to talk to Sirius. In order to do this, he had to sneak into the Headmistress' office, and use her fireplace's Floo network connection, at great risk to himself and to his friends , to talk to Sirius.
Later Harry uses her office a second time to talk to Sirius, and gets caught, causing no amount of trouble for himself and his friends.
Even later, Harry gets Sirius killed, because he believes Sirius has been captured by Voldemort. He tries to contact Sirius, again by the Floo network, but the house elf lies to him.
Sirius would not have died if Harry had been able to talk to him before the raid on the Ministry of Magic.
The only problem is, Harry had in his possession a tool that he could use at any time to talk to Sirius without interruption or detection. He was just too much of a big baby to know he had it.
The flaw in the story is this: The first time Harry contacts Sirius using the Floo network, the first thing out of Sirius' mouth would have been: "Why aren't you using the mirror I gave you?" But he doesn't say this. Why? Solely so Rowling will have the necessary plot elements in place at the end of the book to kill him.
This is complete and utter bullshit. This totally turned me off on the series. This totally turned me off on Rowling. This is inexcusable amateurish nonsense, and she should be embarrassed for the rest of her life.
Yeah, yeah, I know, she is richer than the queen. But to hell with her anyway, for her authorial bullshit.
All she had to do was to leave the walkie-talkie mirror out of the story. But nooooo. She had to put it in to add pathos to an already pathetic character.
Crap crap crap.
Rowling absolutely ruined Harry Potter in the fifth book. Absofuckinglutely ruined it.
Spoiler Alert!!!
Sirius gave Harry a gift at Christmas, a mirror that Harry could always use to talk to Sirius, without detection or interruption. But Harry threw a snit, and never opened the gift.
Later, after Christmas, Harry needed to talk to Sirius. In order to do this, he had to sneak into the Headmistress' office, and use her fireplace's Floo network connection, at great risk to himself and to his friends , to talk to Sirius.
Later Harry uses her office a second time to talk to Sirius, and gets caught, causing no amount of trouble for himself and his friends.
Even later, Harry gets Sirius killed, because he believes Sirius has been captured by Voldemort. He tries to contact Sirius, again by the Floo network, but the house elf lies to him.
Sirius would not have died if Harry had been able to talk to him before the raid on the Ministry of Magic.
The only problem is, Harry had in his possession a tool that he could use at any time to talk to Sirius without interruption or detection. He was just too much of a big baby to know he had it.
The flaw in the story is this: The first time Harry contacts Sirius using the Floo network, the first thing out of Sirius' mouth would have been: "Why aren't you using the mirror I gave you?" But he doesn't say this. Why? Solely so Rowling will have the necessary plot elements in place at the end of the book to kill him.
This is complete and utter bullshit. This totally turned me off on the series. This totally turned me off on Rowling. This is inexcusable amateurish nonsense, and she should be embarrassed for the rest of her life.
Yeah, yeah, I know, she is richer than the queen. But to hell with her anyway, for her authorial bullshit.
All she had to do was to leave the walkie-talkie mirror out of the story. But nooooo. She had to put it in to add pathos to an already pathetic character.
Crap crap crap.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You know, I never thought of it. I had planned on re-reading through the series over the break, but now I don't think I am...
SPOILER
Sirius dying was still epically horrible though, I almost think it would have been better if she implemented what you talked about though.
You know, I never thought of it. I had planned on re-reading through the series over the break, but now I don't think I am...
SPOILER
Sirius dying was still epically horrible though, I almost think it would have been better if she implemented what you talked about though.
daidai
+0 -0
SPOILER
Yes, death by evil drapery was not exactly the epic finish I had in mind for such a pivotal and popular character.
SPOILER
Yes, death by evil drapery was not exactly the epic finish I had in mind for such a pivotal and popular character.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah I didn't like the idea that there was some type of death portal in the wizarding world. It made no sense.
The fifth book is probably the most depressing book in the series. It is the Empire Strikes Back of the Harry Potter universe, except less awesome.
I hated the way she ended the series, I felt like if she had shortened the books some she could have easily kept up the series for 10 books and had everything after the 6th book just be Harry exploring the Wizarding World looking for Horcruxes.
The thing I hate about Rowling is she created this expansive, beautiful universe and yet refuses to do much to explore it.
Yeah I didn't like the idea that there was some type of death portal in the wizarding world. It made no sense.
The fifth book is probably the most depressing book in the series. It is the Empire Strikes Back of the Harry Potter universe, except less awesome.
I hated the way she ended the series, I felt like if she had shortened the books some she could have easily kept up the series for 10 books and had everything after the 6th book just be Harry exploring the Wizarding World looking for Horcruxes.
The thing I hate about Rowling is she created this expansive, beautiful universe and yet refuses to do much to explore it.
stereo
+0 -0
I refused the official canon and went with the fanon where the 5th-7th books didn't happen. So much bettar.
I refused the official canon and went with the fanon where the 5th-7th books didn't happen. So much bettar.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I went with the one where none of the books were ever written. It's even better.
I went with the one where none of the books were ever written. It's even better.
tekende
+0 -0
Me too.
Well, pretty much. I read the first book a long time ago, out of curiosity. I did not feel that reading the rest of the series would be worth my time. It is not a decision I regret.
Me too.
Well, pretty much. I read the first book a long time ago, out of curiosity. I did not feel that reading the rest of the series would be worth my time. It is not a decision I regret.
zapatos
+0 -0
I always thought it was basically her not knowing how to spell Muddle, and just going with it.
I always thought it was basically her not knowing how to spell Muddle, and just going with it.
zapatos
+0 -0
When I read "nightfall" the author had a lil prologue about how "these people do not not necessarily speak english, but i am not going to make up a bunch of crazy nonsense. i will write in english."
When I read "nightfall" the author had a lil prologue about how "these people do not not necessarily speak english, but i am not going to make up a bunch of crazy nonsense. i will write in english."
stereo
+0 -0
They don't necessarily have arms and legs and faces either, but it's easier to discuss it as if they do.
They don't necessarily have arms and legs and faces either, but it's easier to discuss it as if they do.
zapatos
+0 -0
It is much easier for me to relate with someone who has a face.
It is much easier for me to relate with someone who has a face.
stereo
+0 -0
I think I read A Clockwork Orange without referring to the glossary... after that most things are easy. But I kinda see the point.
I haven't read Anathem so I have no idea if how bad it is...
I think I read A Clockwork Orange without referring to the glossary... after that most things are easy. But I kinda see the point.
I haven't read Anathem so I have no idea if how bad it is...
biff
+0 -0
It is over 900 pages long. You just have to get through the first 100 pages or so on faith, and then everything starts clicking.
By the way, the over 900 pages thing is a huge bonus for me. That means the book won't be over too quickly.
It is over 900 pages long. You just have to get through the first 100 pages or so on faith, and then everything starts clicking.
By the way, the over 900 pages thing is a huge bonus for me. That means the book won't be over too quickly.
belgand
+0 -0
I would enjoy that normally. I love long books and films because I'm getting that much more and generally not paying more. If I like it and they don't just drag it out then more is always better than less.
It's not so good when you're getting it from the library because, well, why am I going to blow $30 (!!!!) on a new hardcover when I can get the same exact thing from the library for free? I can't even afford paperbacks right now. Then you're in a race to finish it in time to get it back before it's due and you can't re-check it because there are holds on it.
I would enjoy that normally. I love long books and films because I'm getting that much more and generally not paying more. If I like it and they don't just drag it out then more is always better than less.
It's not so good when you're getting it from the library because, well, why am I going to blow $30 (!!!!) on a new hardcover when I can get the same exact thing from the library for free? I can't even afford paperbacks right now. Then you're in a race to finish it in time to get it back before it's due and you can't re-check it because there are holds on it.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah. When you're watching the film it's not a problem at all really. At the same time that also has the visual component to add meaning and fill things in.
Yeah. When you're watching the film it's not a problem at all really. At the same time that also has the visual component to add meaning and fill things in.
belgand
+1 -0
The best way to ask a lady out is to have her start the sexy makeouts with you when you do not expect it. Do not break up with her or you might have to actually ask someone out. Nobody else will ever love you so you have to make this one count.
The best way to ask a lady out is to have her start the sexy makeouts with you when you do not expect it. Do not break up with her or you might have to actually ask someone out. Nobody else will ever love you so you have to make this one count.
zapatos
+0 -0
Man girls hate getting straight-up hit on.
Some girls love it though. Oh yes they do.
Man girls hate getting straight-up hit on.
Some girls love it though. Oh yes they do.
belgand
+0 -0
You have a lot of experience with masochists or just a lot of domestic abuse complaints?
You have a lot of experience with masochists or just a lot of domestic abuse complaints?
zapatos
+0 -0
a little of both, a lot of both.
a little of both, a lot of both.
sje46
+0 -0
At least wait a few months before you accuse it of jumping the shark.
What about the fora do you find horrible?
At least wait a few months before you accuse it of jumping the shark.
What about the fora do you find horrible?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Because everyone there is like OMG RANDALL GET OUT OF MY MIND PLZ and every other person on there is a furry.
Because everyone there is like OMG RANDALL GET OUT OF MY MIND PLZ and every other person on there is a furry.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't know what you are talking about with the furries. A lot of anime fans though.
That is very annoying by the way, but that's pretty much only with the comic discussion threads, which are usually a drag. Sometimes I liven them up (see: this latest one). Most of the other forums are cool.
I don't know what you are talking about with the furries. A lot of anime fans though.
That is very annoying by the way, but that's pretty much only with the comic discussion threads, which are usually a drag. Sometimes I liven them up (see: this latest one). Most of the other forums are cool.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
eh, too busy for forums. except this one.
eh, too busy for forums. except this one.
sje46
+0 -0
And religion too.
And religion too.
zapatos
+0 -0
Dude, how could one forget these? I almost lamed you.
Dude, how could one forget these? I almost lamed you.
doctorbeene
+1 -0
Vlad is a hopeless romantic, but a little rusty any more.
At least he even remembered to bring the antler.
Vlad is a hopeless romantic, but a little rusty any more.
At least he even remembered to bring the antler.
asherdan
+0 -0
A player like Vlad would get rusty. Robot's too busy with the busy to follow up on any scheduled maintenance.
A player like Vlad would get rusty. Robot's too busy with the busy to follow up on any scheduled maintenance.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
eh... over-vladed. love the guy and i've never rated a vlad strip < 4. but i have no idea wtf is going on and i don't get ray's ghetto lingo 'nine-ball hundo on the rail' thing either. 3.
eh... over-vladed. love the guy and i've never rated a vlad strip < 4. but i have no idea wtf is going on and i don't get ray's ghetto lingo 'nine-ball hundo on the rail' thing either. 3.
pogo
+0 -0
"Nine-ball hundo"? What is that in dollars, 900?
"Nine-ball hundo"? What is that in dollars, 900?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Don't you know a Nine-ball hundo just ain't what it once was , Pogo...
Don't you know a Nine-ball hundo just ain't what it once was , Pogo...
stereo
+1 -0
One hundred dollars, one nine-ball. The rail is the edge of the pool table.
One hundred dollars, one nine-ball. The rail is the edge of the pool table.
pogo
+0 -0
Rail, edge of stripper stage, hundo, nice phrase.
Rail, edge of stripper stage, hundo, nice phrase.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
One rack of nine ball, me thinks. The rack is in the standard spot. The hundo is on the rail. You cover it with another, you play, the winner picks both up.
It's a reference to Ray and Connie's ongoing, never-ending, Connie tries to be merciful, but sometimes he backslides, like when the Mini needs a new clutch, Ray always loses, pool tournament.
Ray is angling to make sure that Connie can refuse him no more, when... When he racks the nine balls and puts the hundo on the rail.
One rack of nine ball, me thinks. The rack is in the standard spot. The hundo is on the rail. You cover it with another, you play, the winner picks both up.
It's a reference to Ray and Connie's ongoing, never-ending, Connie tries to be merciful, but sometimes he backslides, like when the Mini needs a new clutch, Ray always loses, pool tournament.
Ray is angling to make sure that Connie can refuse him no more, when... When he racks the nine balls and puts the hundo on the rail.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, I forgot which game he was referring to for a while.
Yeah, I forgot which game he was referring to for a while.
gumption
+0 -0
Props to Vlad for being a fan of schmaltz.
Props to Vlad for being a fan of schmaltz.
kickstart
+0 -0
mmm....chicken fat...
mmm....chicken fat...
octafish
+0 -0
Filling their insides with chicken fat. Is that wrong or do you agree that it is ok?
Filling their insides with chicken fat. Is that wrong or do you agree that it is ok?
stabones
+0 -0
any comic with vlad is an automatic 4, maybe 5
any comic with vlad is an automatic 4, maybe 5
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ntopp, Wozzeck, emosexy, RedPhillip)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ntopp, Wozzeck, emosexy, RedPhillip)
wozzeck
+0 -1
A cock is comedy, Polly's... "bean" as you so crassly put it, would be nothing more than porn for social and intellectual untermensch .
A cock is comedy, Polly's... "bean" as you so crassly put it, would be nothing more than porn for social and intellectual untermensch .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Why is it a bean? There is nothing hole-like about a bean. Is he just referring to the clitoris?
Why is it a bean? There is nothing hole-like about a bean. Is he just referring to the clitoris?
wozzeck
+1 -0
I think it's just something he overheard people who've had sexual relations saying, and threw it out there.
I think it's just something he overheard people who've had sexual relations saying, and threw it out there.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I still don't fully understand!
I still don't fully understand!
wozzeck
+0 -0
That is because he spoke nonsense .
That is because he spoke nonsense .
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ntopp, diplomat76, RedPhillip)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ntopp, diplomat76, RedPhillip)
wozzeck
+1 -1
Who chubbied this? Who is that retarded?
Who chubbied this? Who is that retarded?
anticitizen
+1 -0
some dooshbag probably
some dooshbag probably
tekende
+2 -0
I chubbied it. It made me laugh. I mean, come on. Jocularity.
I chubbied it. It made me laugh. I mean, come on. Jocularity.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Can't I be jocular?!
[IMGS OFF]
Can't I be jocular?!
[IMGS OFF]
anticitizen
+0 -0
that jpeg is so teeny
that jpeg is so teeny
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Tittlin'?
Tittlin'?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
haha!
tetanus.
haha!
tetanus.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
hahaha!
bi-curious
hahaha!
bi-curious
zapatos
+0 -0
buy-curious?
buy-curious?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I was buy-curious as a student. Now I'm confident in my consumer role.
I was buy-curious as a student. Now I'm confident in my consumer role.
hamscout
+0 -0
Oh, have you been to my shop, Buy Curios?
Oh, have you been to my shop, Buy Curios?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have. Someone showed me the "Fertility God" in the "Back Room".
hahaha
irony
I have. Someone showed me the "Fertility God" in the "Back Room".
hahaha
irony
belgand
+0 -0
If you have ever read Strange Embrace that takes on a significantly different tone. Unless you were trying to make a direct reference to it in which case, right on good sir!
If you have ever read Strange Embrace that takes on a significantly different tone. Unless you were trying to make a direct reference to it in which case, right on good sir!
desert_donkey
+0 -2
yer boyfriend.. duh.
yer boyfriend.. duh.
wozzeck
+1 -1
What is it like to be a thirty-six year-old with the mental prowess of a heavily medicated twelve year-old?
I only ask for science .
What is it like to be a thirty-six year-old with the mental prowess of a heavily medicated twelve year-old?
I only ask for science .
desert_donkey
+0 -0
i refute your ascertion thusly:
YOU are a cock, but you are not comedy.
i refute your ascertion thusly:
YOU are a cock, but you are not comedy.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
and... that's just fucking sexist as hell. you are some sorta misogynist.. the worst kind.
women make joke about their vagina. it is equally as funny as dong, you woman hater.
and... that's just fucking sexist as hell. you are some sorta misogynist.. the worst kind.
women make joke about their vagina. it is equally as funny as dong, you woman hater.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Then why are female comedians so tiresome, desert_donkey? How does your little wiener of a theory explain that?
Then why are female comedians so tiresome, desert_donkey? How does your little wiener of a theory explain that?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Quote:
Is desert_donkey actually Heidegger?
Quote:
How does your little wiener of a theory explain that?
Is desert_donkey actually Heidegger?
boredom_man
+0 -0
Heinlein.
Heinlein.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Give that man a Heimlich!
Give that man a Heimlich!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Chris made an oath somewhere that he'd never make anything that could give furries something to wank to.
and that's that.
Chris made an oath somewhere that he'd never make anything that could give furries something to wank to.
and that's that.
belgand
+0 -0
How much would it cost to commission him to draw some extra-deviant furry porn? Maybe we could have a collection.
How much would it cost to commission him to draw some extra-deviant furry porn? Maybe we could have a collection.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
dude's got principles. i hope he wouldn't do it for any price. but then again, Ray donated enough to get the good doctor to let him hold his own heart. thoguh i think this is slightly different than that.
what is your price?
dude's got principles. i hope he wouldn't do it for any price. but then again, Ray donated enough to get the good doctor to let him hold his own heart. thoguh i think this is slightly different than that.
what is your price?
zapatos
+0 -0
my price is flexible, however it is usually along the lines of "just ask" dollars.
my price is flexible, however it is usually along the lines of "just ask" dollars.
belgand
+0 -0
Shortbus manages to make that seem a lot less cool.
Shortbus manages to make that seem a lot less cool.
kamet
+0 -0
NO
NO
stereo
+0 -0
Why would you even want to?
I'm sure we can find someone on dA to imitate his style and only charge like 5 bucks for pics.
Why would you even want to?
I'm sure we can find someone on dA to imitate his style and only charge like 5 bucks for pics.
belgand
+0 -0
Because I'm in training for a career as Satan. Urging people to make poor choices and tempting them to give in to their basest urges is sort of a hobby of mine. Tempting Onstad to break a promise of this sort for money would please me greatly.
Because I'm in training for a career as Satan. Urging people to make poor choices and tempting them to give in to their basest urges is sort of a hobby of mine. Tempting Onstad to break a promise of this sort for money would please me greatly.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Chris Onstad never breaks a promise.
Chris Onstad never breaks a promise.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Chris Chambers never misses.
Chris Chambers never misses.
zapatos
+1 -0
Chris Onstad saved my family from tigers.
Chris Onstad saved my family from tigers.
tetsujin
+0 -0
Well, you see, women are fundamentally unclean...
...Got to post something to pass the time, since there's no new comic to read...
Well, you see, women are fundamentally unclean...
...Got to post something to pass the time, since there's no new comic to read...
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i took achewood off my bookmark bar today. it made me sad.
i took achewood off my bookmark bar today. it made me sad.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I just come here for the comments.
I just come here for the comments.
saulbellow
+2 -0
That's like subscribing to Readers Digest for the gummy stuff that holds the removable front cover.
That's like subscribing to Readers Digest for the gummy stuff that holds the removable front cover.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well, FYI , it's got 12 required vitamins in it!
The gummy stuff.
Not really.
But I bet Ray could market that to them.
Well, FYI , it's got 12 required vitamins in it!
The gummy stuff.
Not really.
But I bet Ray could market that to them.
belgand
+0 -0
In all fairness that's the best part of Reader's Digest. Also the only part worth reading.
In all fairness that's the best part of Reader's Digest. Also the only part worth reading.
ihmgard
+0 -0
it's probably pretty certain that your bookmark bar is far more exclusive than mine, I can see why you might have made this choice
it's probably pretty certain that your bookmark bar is far more exclusive than mine, I can see why you might have made this choice
pogo
+0 -0
Bet you'll still come here.
Bet you'll still come here.
tetsujin
+0 -0
Yes, but it apparently no longer rates a dedicated, clickable area of the browser window space... I can relate.
Yes, but it apparently no longer rates a dedicated, clickable area of the browser window space... I can relate.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Why Ms. Kix? I don't understand. It's not as funny as it used to be, but it is still as adroitly subtle, and that is worth so much in a world of DAILY GENOCIDE AND HOLY WARS.
Why Ms. Kix? I don't understand. It's not as funny as it used to be, but it is still as adroitly subtle, and that is worth so much in a world of DAILY GENOCIDE AND HOLY WARS.
paul9
+3 -0
Google interviews Onstad, misspells name.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CKBJgoJXpw
Google interviews Onstad, misspells name.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CKBJgoJXpw
qingofchina
+0 -0
31 views!
31 views!
davey-boy
+0 -0
Aww, comments are disabled. I was going to say clits.
Aww, comments are disabled. I was going to say clits.
daidai
+0 -0
I am not sure how I feel about them.
I am not sure how I feel about them.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
My feelings towards clits are ambivalent.
My feelings towards clits are ambivalent.
belgand
+0 -0
Your girlfriend must be astoundingly unsatisfied.
Your girlfriend must be astoundingly unsatisfied.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You think I'd have learned my lesson about talking about my sex life here...
Suffice it to say you are incorrect sir.
You think I'd have learned my lesson about talking about my sex life here...
Suffice it to say you are incorrect sir.
belgand
+0 -0
So you don't care about clits and you can't spot it when a lady fakes it? Wow. I guess you're still young though. I'm sure you'll get better at spotting when a lady is faking it in the future. You just need more practice. ;)
I never understood why someone would fake. The correct manner is to educate. Why reinforce someone doing something badly and not get off? It basically makes the world a worse place and specifically your little part of it.
So you don't care about clits and you can't spot it when a lady fakes it? Wow. I guess you're still young though. I'm sure you'll get better at spotting when a lady is faking it in the future. You just need more practice. ;)
I never understood why someone would fake. The correct manner is to educate. Why reinforce someone doing something badly and not get off? It basically makes the world a worse place and specifically your little part of it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No trust me I fucking RESPECT the clitoris, sir. I wash that shit in honor.
And yes I watch enough porn to tell a fake orgasm from a real orgasm THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
No trust me I fucking RESPECT the clitoris, sir. I wash that shit in honor.
And yes I watch enough porn to tell a fake orgasm from a real orgasm THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Watching porn will teach you nothing. Nothing . No control group! No science!
Watching porn will teach you nothing. Nothing . No control group! No science!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LIES.
LIES.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
The way to tell a fake orgasm is that it looks like something you might see in porn. Good orgasms look very undignified.
The best way to spot a real one is that she makes you breakfast afterward without being asked.
The way to tell a fake orgasm is that it looks like something you might see in porn. Good orgasms look very undignified.
The best way to spot a real one is that she makes you breakfast afterward without being asked.
tekende
+0 -0
Another way to tell is if she tells you without being asked.
Or if she says something like "I already came, you can finish whenever you want."
Another way to tell is if she tells you without being asked.
Or if she says something like "I already came, you can finish whenever you want."
belgand
+0 -0
Sometimes it can be tough because you think it happened, but then she keeps going at it and you start to wonder if maybe it was only the appearance of it happening. Only later do you find out that she was trying for a double.
Sometimes it can be tough because you think it happened, but then she keeps going at it and you start to wonder if maybe it was only the appearance of it happening. Only later do you find out that she was trying for a double.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is like baseball allegory. Woman always tries to stretch single into double, maybe even home run. You hits lots home run with her, be movink out of thin-wall apartment pretty damn soon.
Is like baseball allegory. Woman always tries to stretch single into double, maybe even home run. You hits lots home run with her, be movink out of thin-wall apartment pretty damn soon.
biff
+0 -0
Um, can't you tell from the muscle spasms? The muscle spasms in the vagina that come with the orgasm?
Can't fake that, as far as I know.
And anyway, a woman who fakes orgasms deserves all the orgasms she gets.
Um, can't you tell from the muscle spasms? The muscle spasms in the vagina that come with the orgasm?
Can't fake that, as far as I know.
And anyway, a woman who fakes orgasms deserves all the orgasms she gets.
belgand
+0 -0
Agreed on the fakers. Not all ladies are spasming that much. Also, sometimes ladies... they no come so easily without much clitoral stimulation. In this case other method is likely best. No way to feel spasms as easily.
Agreed on the fakers. Not all ladies are spasming that much. Also, sometimes ladies... they no come so easily without much clitoral stimulation. In this case other method is likely best. No way to feel spasms as easily.
zapatos
+0 -0
There are many ladies who will rub themselves when you are fucking them, it is okay with me that they do this.
There are many ladies who will rub themselves when you are fucking them, it is okay with me that they do this.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I am even okay with them rubbing themselves when I am not fucking them. I am for women's rights
I am even okay with them rubbing themselves when I am not fucking them. I am for women's rights
zapatos
+0 -0
I am also one to stand up for letting women rub, or not rub, themselves whenever they see fit.
I am also one to stand up for letting women rub, or not rub, themselves whenever they see fit.
belgand
+0 -0
Definitely. Sometimes they may also use implements expressly designed to help them with the rubbing. Perhaps while fucking them. In some cases this is helpful. When the rubbing stops she is likely done
Definitely. Sometimes they may also use implements expressly designed to help them with the rubbing. Perhaps while fucking them. In some cases this is helpful. When the rubbing stops she is likely done
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Those spasms can indeed be faked. The muscle can be clenched and unclenched just like the anus, so they just have to do it sort of non-rhythmically.
Those spasms can indeed be faked. The muscle can be clenched and unclenched just like the anus, so they just have to do it sort of non-rhythmically.
belgand
+0 -0
Not always. Sometimes with ladies they get first run in and they are tired. No longer interested in playing double-header. They have had their fill. Perhaps they get really super-sensitive afterwards and playing more, it is painful for them. They no want to keep it going.
I wish I had lady that made enough noise to be worth moving. Is barely enough noise to be heard on other side of bed. When lady is loud enough to be heard down the block is perhaps a bit inconsiderate, but you can go out and hold head high. Everybody knows that you are main man of the neighborhood.
Not always. Sometimes with ladies they get first run in and they are tired. No longer interested in playing double-header. They have had their fill. Perhaps they get really super-sensitive afterwards and playing more, it is painful for them. They no want to keep it going.
I wish I had lady that made enough noise to be worth moving. Is barely enough noise to be heard on other side of bed. When lady is loud enough to be heard down the block is perhaps a bit inconsiderate, but you can go out and hold head high. Everybody knows that you are main man of the neighborhood.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Couple Upstairs Going at It Again
"Always with the schtupping at all hours," said apartment 2-B occupant Rose Teitelbaum, a retiree who has lived in this building since before you were born. "In my day, such a thing, it was shameful, a scandal. It is like a bordello, I am telling you. Such a racket! And unmarried, nu?"
Teitelbaum, whose bed is directly below Kafka and Brown's bathroom, site of their 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. sexual encounters, said the whole neighborhood is talking, and that she fears some days even to show her face for the embarrassment of having such flagrant and indiscreet young persons living in this, her building, where her own mother taught her so many years ago to show respect.
"For this%u2013the gasping, the thrusting, the pounding, the shouting in the middle of night%u2013I pay taxes for 53 years?" Teitelbaum said. "Thank heaven my hearing is not so good as what it used to be, or I wouldn't get one wink of sleep with all the oohing and the aahing and the screaming like the gorillas in the jungle."
Couple Upstairs Going at It Again
"Always with the schtupping at all hours," said apartment 2-B occupant Rose Teitelbaum, a retiree who has lived in this building since before you were born. "In my day, such a thing, it was shameful, a scandal. It is like a bordello, I am telling you. Such a racket! And unmarried, nu?"
Teitelbaum, whose bed is directly below Kafka and Brown's bathroom, site of their 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. sexual encounters, said the whole neighborhood is talking, and that she fears some days even to show her face for the embarrassment of having such flagrant and indiscreet young persons living in this, her building, where her own mother taught her so many years ago to show respect.
"For this%u2013the gasping, the thrusting, the pounding, the shouting in the middle of night%u2013I pay taxes for 53 years?" Teitelbaum said. "Thank heaven my hearing is not so good as what it used to be, or I wouldn't get one wink of sleep with all the oohing and the aahing and the screaming like the gorillas in the jungle."
belgand
+0 -0
That just makes me jealous. So very, very jealous.
Having sex more than once within a 48 hour period? Preposterous!
That just makes me jealous. So very, very jealous.
Having sex more than once within a 48 hour period? Preposterous!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Why? In the parallel time-space continuum where I am not a completely pathetic shell of a man, it is an entirely feasible thing if you are living/staying with someone. It can even be done five times in a day.
Why? In the parallel time-space continuum where I am not a completely pathetic shell of a man, it is an entirely feasible thing if you are living/staying with someone. It can even be done five times in a day.
belgand
+0 -0
My girlfriend has been lying to me! She said that ladies could only have sex once a week at most. Sometimes they need to recharge and can only do so perhaps once a month.
My girlfriend has been lying to me! She said that ladies could only have sex once a week at most. Sometimes they need to recharge and can only do so perhaps once a month.
tekende
+0 -0
I had sex like three times in one night once
I had sex like three times in one night once
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Same.
Same.
pogo
+0 -0
It's rad to get the bone on repeatedly.
It's rad to get the bone on repeatedly.
belgand
+0 -0
I suspect it would be. I think we have our gender roles messed up though because she is the one sleepy after. That and all the other things we have swapped such as me staying home and cooking and cleaning (e.g. cooking and reading Acheworld and playing video games) while she works.
I suspect it would be. I think we have our gender roles messed up though because she is the one sleepy after. That and all the other things we have swapped such as me staying home and cooking and cleaning (e.g. cooking and reading Acheworld and playing video games) while she works.
belgand
+0 -0
I also hear good things about "makeup sex" instead I just get "don't you even give me a damn hug to be comforting and show that you care because I fucking hate you".
I also hear good things about "makeup sex" instead I just get "don't you even give me a damn hug to be comforting and show that you care because I fucking hate you".
pogo
+0 -0
What can I tell you, the bitches be crazy.
What can I tell you, the bitches be crazy.
zapatos
+0 -0
a la Octopus Pie
[IMGS OFF]
a la Octopus Pie
[IMGS OFF]
rowboat
+0 -0
Three in one afternoon, if we're comparing. It is not a normal thing to do. It was brought about by the confluence of two unrelated situations - 1. We were new to one another and 2. The heat was out and it was late January. We had a massive fuck party literally just to stay alive.
There's no 'gasm like a survival 'gasm.
Three in one afternoon, if we're comparing. It is not a normal thing to do. It was brought about by the confluence of two unrelated situations - 1. We were new to one another and 2. The heat was out and it was late January. We had a massive fuck party literally just to stay alive.
There's no 'gasm like a survival 'gasm.
pogo
+0 -0
Another reason for 'gasms you might want to use is to call it "the miracle cure." Then yoou can get doses when you're fighting a cold or other minor ailment. Worked great on my first wife.
Another reason for 'gasms you might want to use is to call it "the miracle cure." Then yoou can get doses when you're fighting a cold or other minor ailment. Worked great on my first wife.
zapatos
+0 -0
Man, I don't know when a girl doesn't fake it. They're always faking all over the place!
Man, I don't know when a girl doesn't fake it. They're always faking all over the place!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Women , amirite?
Women , amirite?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
YOU ARE CORRECT SIR.
[IMGS OFF]
YOU ARE CORRECT SIR.
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
HAW HAW
HAW HAW
zapatos
+0 -0
i no, iz 2 much!
i no, iz 2 much!
falseprophet
+8 -0
Girl makes love moans. But they could be lies of heart. How to tell? They fake all over the place! But they never fake all over your face . So to do: Take legs in both hands and spread apart. Make tongue get up close and personal. Be down with swirl. Yes? Moans will come. Take into memory. Bide time. Then return to lady another evening when love moans are in order. Take legs in both hands and spread apart. But this time do not introduce tongue. It is new friend: your lower fine time. Make him go. Then later, moans come. You listen. You compare to before. They same, she loves you. They different. You slit her throat. Cast her bones out of home like so much spoiled potatoes. Find new woman. And have many moans again.
Girl makes love moans. But they could be lies of heart. How to tell? They fake all over the place! But they never fake all over your face . So to do: Take legs in both hands and spread apart. Make tongue get up close and personal. Be down with swirl. Yes? Moans will come. Take into memory. Bide time. Then return to lady another evening when love moans are in order. Take legs in both hands and spread apart. But this time do not introduce tongue. It is new friend: your lower fine time. Make him go. Then later, moans come. You listen. You compare to before. They same, she loves you. They different. You slit her throat. Cast her bones out of home like so much spoiled potatoes. Find new woman. And have many moans again.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't know how i still have chubbies but I'm glad.
Also, while reading the review for the Che movie I thought of you.
I don't know how i still have chubbies but I'm glad.
Also, while reading the review for the Che movie I thought of you.
falseprophet
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Rotting potatoes are like a woman who fakes it.
It's all they do.
Rotting potatoes are like a woman who fakes it.
It's all they do.
zapatos
+0 -0
I had a bag of potatoes in my pantry, it was rotting. It was a horrid smell. My roomate came home, she says, "what is this terrible smell? it smells like pussy."
what... what the fuck? Why must women relate terrible smells to their nether regions?
I had a bag of potatoes in my pantry, it was rotting. It was a horrid smell. My roomate came home, she says, "what is this terrible smell? it smells like pussy."
what... what the fuck? Why must women relate terrible smells to their nether regions?
tekende
+0 -0
Oh man rotting potatoes is indeed an awful, awful stench. And they start growing things that look like giant translucent boogers.
It is nothing like pussy, though.
Oh man rotting potatoes is indeed an awful, awful stench. And they start growing things that look like giant translucent boogers.
It is nothing like pussy, though.
zapatos
+0 -0
Not any pussy I want to go near.
she had such rude titties though, such a shame.
Not any pussy I want to go near.
she had such rude titties though, such a shame.
belgand
+0 -0
Not all girls moan. This can make it very tough to ascertain exactly what is going on. Why so quiet ladies?!? Is profound disappointment.
Not all girls moan. This can make it very tough to ascertain exactly what is going on. Why so quiet ladies?!? Is profound disappointment.
zapatos
+0 -0
Have a larger penis? I don't know man.
Have a larger penis? I don't know man.
belgand
+0 -0
Too many men think larger means longer. That will make a lady start making a lot more noise, but generally just shouting at you for constantly ramming her painfully in the cervix.
It's not always dudes either. Some girls have small clitorises. Their bodies do not love them.
Too many men think larger means longer. That will make a lady start making a lot more noise, but generally just shouting at you for constantly ramming her painfully in the cervix.
It's not always dudes either. Some girls have small clitorises. Their bodies do not love them.
zapatos
+0 -0
I think of "more robust" when i say larger.
I think of "more robust" when i say larger.
hamscout
+0 -0
Thanks for posting that, paul9, it's really interesti...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Around 21:19, when asked about odd gifts, he mentions a guy in Chicago with a bacon gift certificate. Guess who?
Thanks for posting that, paul9, it's really interesti...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Around 21:19, when asked about odd gifts, he mentions a guy in Chicago with a bacon gift certificate. Guess who?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HAHA NICE.
HAHA NICE.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
a gift certificate made from bacon seems totally impractical.
a gift certificate made from bacon seems totally impractical.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It is practical if you are hungry for bacon. In fact, one could say it is more practical than a gift certificate for buying bacon, as it eliminates an unnecessary step in the process.
It is practical if you are hungry for bacon. In fact, one could say it is more practical than a gift certificate for buying bacon, as it eliminates an unnecessary step in the process.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
One might say it cuts out the middleman, eliminates the pork factor, so to speak.
One might say that.
One might say it cuts out the middleman, eliminates the pork factor, so to speak.
One might say that.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
That's a good point except that you only get one piece of cold, (assumingly) written-on bacon.
ONE PIECE OF BACON IS NEVER ENOUGH.
That's a good point except that you only get one piece of cold, (assumingly) written-on bacon.
ONE PIECE OF BACON IS NEVER ENOUGH.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It could be a really big gift certificate, and the writing could be in whipped cream.
It could be a really big gift certificate, and the writing could be in whipped cream.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
No. No it couldn't. That would make it even more impractical. You're not taking the idea of a bacon gift card seriously.
And you're not really going to make us keep looking at the Wong Burger icon, are you?
No. No it couldn't. That would make it even more impractical. You're not taking the idea of a bacon gift card seriously.
And you're not really going to make us keep looking at the Wong Burger icon, are you?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you saying I don't know dick?
Are you saying I don't know dick?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
If you ditch it, can I have it? Or are you going to keep it on retainer?
If you ditch it, can I have it? Or are you going to keep it on retainer?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Thanks, ese.
Thanks, ese.
belgand
+0 -0
Damn, I should have maybe just brought a nice plate of hot, fresh bacon. Although I doubt it would have survived Muni. Very few things do.
Then again I also probably should have gone. It would have been so easy too. I just knew I wasn't going to buy anything and felt like why bother going then?
Damn, I should have maybe just brought a nice plate of hot, fresh bacon. Although I doubt it would have survived Muni. Very few things do.
Then again I also probably should have gone. It would have been so easy too. I just knew I wasn't going to buy anything and felt like why bother going then?
zapatos
+0 -0
You'd go, so you can file another away in the spank bank.
You'd go, so you can file another away in the spank bank.
belgand
+0 -0
No, I'm saying that I had every chance to go. Before he even made it into a whole little tour. I decided not to go. Now I'm kind of kicking myself about it.
At the same time I know that if I had gone... eh, what would have been the point? To stand around in a line? To maybe hassle a stranger? To be poor and not buy anything?
The only book I have from a web comic is the first book produced for User Friendly. I only own that one because I am mentioned in the acknowledgments by name.
No, I'm saying that I had every chance to go. Before he even made it into a whole little tour. I decided not to go. Now I'm kind of kicking myself about it.
At the same time I know that if I had gone... eh, what would have been the point? To stand around in a line? To maybe hassle a stranger? To be poor and not buy anything?
The only book I have from a web comic is the first book produced for User Friendly. I only own that one because I am mentioned in the acknowledgments by name.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, I already explained how I didn't go to the Brooklyn signing even though it was a 10-minute drive from my place and I was already dressed and ready to head out the door. It was basically exactly like Beef trying to go to the grocery store.
Yea, I already explained how I didn't go to the Brooklyn signing even though it was a 10-minute drive from my place and I was already dressed and ready to head out the door. It was basically exactly like Beef trying to go to the grocery store.
zapatos
+0 -0
Except Beef actually made it to the store, he just couldn't go in. Poor dude, his 'minder was bugging him.
Except Beef actually made it to the store, he just couldn't go in. Poor dude, his 'minder was bugging him.
belgand
+0 -0
I passed reasonably near the place where it was happening here. Instead I played Arkham Horror with a friend.
I passed reasonably near the place where it was happening here. Instead I played Arkham Horror with a friend.
belgand
+0 -0
Shame it was New York. I have a good friend at Google here in the city.
Shame it was New York. I have a good friend at Google here in the city.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm having trouble understanding this comment. Everyone knows that 'the city' is synonymous with New York. Please revise.
I'm having trouble understanding this comment. Everyone knows that 'the city' is synonymous with New York. Please revise.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok I am more confused what the hell is going on?
Where am I? This isn't the Hagard the Horrible forum!
Ok I am more confused what the hell is going on?
Where am I? This isn't the Hagard the Horrible forum!
belgand
+0 -0
Google is a Bay Area company, SF is "The City" here, therefore I was correct.
New York? PSHAW! Their weather is even more vile than ours. At least we don't get snow.
Ironically I have never been to New York. This is not technically true though. I have been to New York many times. The issue is that I do not remember any of those occasions as I was very young. I was born in Connecticut and my parents worked and formerly lived in NYC.
Yes, I am such yuppie-child that I was born in Connecticut.
Google is a Bay Area company, SF is "The City" here, therefore I was correct.
New York? PSHAW! Their weather is even more vile than ours. At least we don't get snow.
Ironically I have never been to New York. This is not technically true though. I have been to New York many times. The issue is that I do not remember any of those occasions as I was very young. I was born in Connecticut and my parents worked and formerly lived in NYC.
Yes, I am such yuppie-child that I was born in Connecticut.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Not getting snow is hardly a plus. Quite the opposite actually.
Not getting snow is hardly a plus. Quite the opposite actually.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also, I never understood people who make such a big deal about the weather as to make it a primary factor in moving/living somewhere. There is such a thing as warm clothing.
Also, I never understood people who make such a big deal about the weather as to make it a primary factor in moving/living somewhere. There is such a thing as warm clothing.
belgand
+0 -0
Warm clothing is unpleasant. I want the weather to stay above 70 at all times. No snow ever.
Sadly it's almost never over 70 here. When it is people complain that it's too hot. The summer is freakishly cold. The winter, at least, is pretty tolerable. It almost never goes under below 50. The problem is that year-round we basically move from 53 to maybe 68.
Weather is a huge deal to me living somewhere. Sadly most of the places with decent weather are also pretty terrible places to live. I will never understand why cool places formed in places with awful weather.
Warm clothing is unpleasant. I want the weather to stay above 70 at all times. No snow ever.
Sadly it's almost never over 70 here. When it is people complain that it's too hot. The summer is freakishly cold. The winter, at least, is pretty tolerable. It almost never goes under below 50. The problem is that year-round we basically move from 53 to maybe 68.
Weather is a huge deal to me living somewhere. Sadly most of the places with decent weather are also pretty terrible places to live. I will never understand why cool places formed in places with awful weather.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
If you have not been to the top of a snow-covered mountain and traveled at breakneck speed down a narrow path between rows of towering evergreens completely encased in frost, then stopped in an area of the trail where there were no people going by and no signs or lift cables to remind you of civilization, and just taken it all in for a few minutes, then you have not really lived. I am completely serious about this.
Cold weather lends itself well to solitude and contemplation. Warm weather means people walking around in large groups, clad in skimpy clothing and uncalled-for smiles, lounging around having 'fun' and filling the air with needless chatter. I fie upon it, I fie with all my being.
If you have not been to the top of a snow-covered mountain and traveled at breakneck speed down a narrow path between rows of towering evergreens completely encased in frost, then stopped in an area of the trail where there were no people going by and no signs or lift cables to remind you of civilization, and just taken it all in for a few minutes, then you have not really lived. I am completely serious about this.
Cold weather lends itself well to solitude and contemplation. Warm weather means people walking around in large groups, clad in skimpy clothing and uncalled-for smiles, lounging around having 'fun' and filling the air with needless chatter. I fie upon it, I fie with all my being.
belgand
+0 -0
I dislike cold weather very much. I don't like typical warm clothes. I find them confining and unpleasant.
I also dislike nature. I do not want to be out in nature. I also will not ski. I am afraid of getting on the lift. This has been discussed previously. I also find that it is too much of a physical activity. Totally not my bag.
Skimpy clothing, however, that is definitely my thing. I remember back in May it was actually warm for once. Everyone wanted to take advantage of it or at least take respite from it as nobody has air conditioning. Girls were wearing filmy, flimsy sun dresses or scant tops. It was wonderful. It was warm and I lounged in the park listening to music. It was not so nice to be outside in the sun so much (must not get tan!), but it was warm and enjoyable.
I dislike cold weather very much. I don't like typical warm clothes. I find them confining and unpleasant.
I also dislike nature. I do not want to be out in nature. I also will not ski. I am afraid of getting on the lift. This has been discussed previously. I also find that it is too much of a physical activity. Totally not my bag.
Skimpy clothing, however, that is definitely my thing. I remember back in May it was actually warm for once. Everyone wanted to take advantage of it or at least take respite from it as nobody has air conditioning. Girls were wearing filmy, flimsy sun dresses or scant tops. It was wonderful. It was warm and I lounged in the park listening to music. It was not so nice to be outside in the sun so much (must not get tan!), but it was warm and enjoyable.
aperson
+0 -0
Achilleselbow is extremely correct here. No-one will be able to find a flaw in this argument.
Achilleselbow is extremely correct here. No-one will be able to find a flaw in this argument.
biff
+0 -0
I guess that depends on your definition of "find a flaw in his argument."
I will never ski. Theoretically I would enjoy it, but the subsequent extended hospital stay attempting to recover from the damage to my congenitally defective knee would be quite a price to pay.
Therefore, according to his argument, I will never live.
I have done other fun and exciting things in my life. Rappelling down a cliff face, hanging between earth and sky, nothing between me and disaster but a slender rope, facing up to my fear of heights, I think that qualifies as living.
And I didn't have to be cold to do it.
I guess that depends on your definition of "find a flaw in his argument."
I will never ski. Theoretically I would enjoy it, but the subsequent extended hospital stay attempting to recover from the damage to my congenitally defective knee would be quite a price to pay.
Therefore, according to his argument, I will never live.
I have done other fun and exciting things in my life. Rappelling down a cliff face, hanging between earth and sky, nothing between me and disaster but a slender rope, facing up to my fear of heights, I think that qualifies as living.
And I didn't have to be cold to do it.
belgand
+0 -0
I am very happy to not face my fears if there is a legitimate chance that they really will put me in danger. Being afraid is a good thing sometimes. It keeps you from doing dangerous things.
I am very happy to not face my fears if there is a legitimate chance that they really will put me in danger. Being afraid is a good thing sometimes. It keeps you from doing dangerous things.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well, that's certainly comparable. I was mainly referring to the general feeling of danger and natural solitude. Besides, not being able to is one thing, but not seeing the worth of it is another. There are plenty of things that I lack the skill or ability to do, and I recognize that in this sense, I am missing out on a dimension of experience.
Well, that's certainly comparable. I was mainly referring to the general feeling of danger and natural solitude. Besides, not being able to is one thing, but not seeing the worth of it is another. There are plenty of things that I lack the skill or ability to do, and I recognize that in this sense, I am missing out on a dimension of experience.
aperson
+0 -0
Belgand wants to be immortal so he can avoid dangerous/exciting situations and get cheated on by his girlfriend. (This is a heavily abbreviated summary)
Belgand wants to be immortal so he can avoid dangerous/exciting situations and get cheated on by his girlfriend. (This is a heavily abbreviated summary)
belgand
+0 -0
I don't find danger exciting. I do find that it seems like a bad idea for immortality.
I have read a number of ideas on how with functional immortality, but still the ability to be killed normally people would become very paranoid.
David Lapham was intending to work on a comic about this concept, but it never seemed to get off the ground. Of course, he's put Stray Bullets on more or less permanent hiatus too and with only one issue left to finish the damn arc. I mean, he has steady work now so at least do the last issue of the arc before hanging it up for a while.
I don't find danger exciting. I do find that it seems like a bad idea for immortality.
I have read a number of ideas on how with functional immortality, but still the ability to be killed normally people would become very paranoid.
David Lapham was intending to work on a comic about this concept, but it never seemed to get off the ground. Of course, he's put Stray Bullets on more or less permanent hiatus too and with only one issue left to finish the damn arc. I mean, he has steady work now so at least do the last issue of the arc before hanging it up for a while.
aperson
+0 -0
I take back my sweeping and obviously non-serious statement. Knees are crap though, huh? Fricken knees man...
I take back my sweeping and obviously non-serious statement. Knees are crap though, huh? Fricken knees man...
biff
+0 -0
To achilleselbow - I knew what you meant. I wasn't really addressing you.
To aperson - yeah, your answer was unserious, mine was dickish. I musta been tired when I wrote it. Or pissed off at Microsoft.
To achilleselbow - I knew what you meant. I wasn't really addressing you.
To aperson - yeah, your answer was unserious, mine was dickish. I musta been tired when I wrote it. Or pissed off at Microsoft.
rowboat
+0 -0
Also, yes - there is only one "City." I have no allegiance to either coast, but I still know this.
Also, yes - there is only one "City." I have no allegiance to either coast, but I still know this.
belgand
+0 -0
Honestly I think it was just more of an issue of my falling back on regional usage. Here people generally just say "The City". Oakland and San Jose? Are you asking me whether I wish to begin preparations for laughter?
As long as we can agree that LA is not valid it will be fine.
Honestly I think it was just more of an issue of my falling back on regional usage. Here people generally just say "The City". Oakland and San Jose? Are you asking me whether I wish to begin preparations for laughter?
As long as we can agree that LA is not valid it will be fine.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's not even the most ridiculous usage. When I was going to college in Pennsylvania, people actually used "the City" to refer to Philadelphia, even though New York was roughly the same distance. Philadelphia? Really?
That's not even the most ridiculous usage. When I was going to college in Pennsylvania, people actually used "the City" to refer to Philadelphia, even though New York was roughly the same distance. Philadelphia? Really?
belgand
+0 -0
Damn, that is terrible.
I could understand Boston if you lived in the region, but not Philadelphia. Never Philadelphia.
Damn, that is terrible.
I could understand Boston if you lived in the region, but not Philadelphia. Never Philadelphia.
sje46
+0 -0
Boston is considered the "Hub of the Universe".
We're a little pretentious.
Boston is considered the "Hub of the Universe".
We're a little pretentious.
belgand
+0 -0
You're thinking of New York. SF and Boston need to join forces to oust New York. We can then have control over our respective coasts.
You're thinking of New York. SF and Boston need to join forces to oust New York. We can then have control over our respective coasts.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Pshhh, Boston. Yes, we'd love to walk through your narrow little streets not fit for anything wider than a pony and have some tea and crumpets with you in one of your quaint little coffeeshops, but unfortunately we can't make it until late, and you're always asleep by 1 am. Maybe some other time.
Pshhh, Boston. Yes, we'd love to walk through your narrow little streets not fit for anything wider than a pony and have some tea and crumpets with you in one of your quaint little coffeeshops, but unfortunately we can't make it until late, and you're always asleep by 1 am. Maybe some other time.
sje46
+0 -0
Stereotypes are fun.
Stereotypes are fun.
belgand
+0 -0
SF closes early too. It is a massive pain in the ass. Basically nothing is 24 hours. Finding something open past 9 or 10 is usually damn hard.
SF closes early too. It is a massive pain in the ass. Basically nothing is 24 hours. Finding something open past 9 or 10 is usually damn hard.
sje46
+0 -0
No . .. .I'm thinking of Boston.
[url]https://www.google.com/search?q=hub of the universe&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a[/url]
No . .. .I'm thinking of Boston.
[url]https://www.google.com/search?q=hub of the universe&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a[/url]
sje46
+0 -0
Eff. Google "Hub of the Universe"
Eff. Google "Hub of the Universe"
belgand
+0 -0
The best part is when he talks about how he doesn't update regularly and then tries to claim that he still produces blogs and such when he largely does not.
Hey Chris, we are no longer patient about it!
The best part is when he talks about how he doesn't update regularly and then tries to claim that he still produces blogs and such when he largely does not.
Hey Chris, we are no longer patient about it!
telescreen
+0 -0
I forgive all. That man is a Capitalist.
I forgive all. That man is a Capitalist.
paul9
+0 -0
Yeah, I was kind of disappointed in how the interview seemed to focus on how Chris makes money doing Achewood instead of, you know, Achewood.
Yeah, I was kind of disappointed in how the interview seemed to focus on how Chris makes money doing Achewood instead of, you know, Achewood.
paul9
+0 -0
Yeah, I was kind of disappointed in how the interview seemed to focus on how Chris makes money doing Achewood instead of, you know, Achewood.
Yeah, I was kind of disappointed in how the interview seemed to focus on how Chris makes money doing Achewood instead of, you know, Achewood.
telescreen
+0 -0
Still, I'm totally buying the Great Outdoor Fight so he can buy his kid some Cheerios.
Still, I'm totally buying the Great Outdoor Fight so he can buy his kid some Cheerios.
zapatos
+0 -0
I'm buying it so I can read it.
I bought the umbrella so he could get rid of another one.
I'm buying it so I can read it.
I bought the umbrella so he could get rid of another one.
howl
+0 -0
I like his little at QC.
I like his little at QC.
howl
+0 -0
little dig .
little dig .
hedonismbot
+0 -0
* little dick
* little dick
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Here's the new URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2ZOSZZTIiE . It got moved or something.
Warning: this interview really really sucks! The interviewer is supposedly some guy who knows Chris' tech buddy, but it is as though he has never read Achewood. As though he is a person who won't get it if he did. Painful.
Here's the new URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2ZOSZZTIiE . It got moved or something.
Warning: this interview really really sucks! The interviewer is supposedly some guy who knows Chris' tech buddy, but it is as though he has never read Achewood. As though he is a person who won't get it if he did. Painful.
rowboat
+0 -0
You get a pretty palpable sense that Onstad doesn't entirely like the guy. I don't like him either.
You get a pretty palpable sense that Onstad doesn't entirely like the guy. I don't like him either.
mcjuicy
+0 -0
That link doesnt work
That link doesnt work
paradigmeyes
+2 -0
I love most things about Vlad, but I particularly appreciate the fact that he is a slightly fat robot. How a robot gets fat, I do not know, but I am glad that he does. If for no other reason than it suggests a potential workout montage complete with sweatband and synth soundtrack.
I love most things about Vlad, but I particularly appreciate the fact that he is a slightly fat robot. How a robot gets fat, I do not know, but I am glad that he does. If for no other reason than it suggests a potential workout montage complete with sweatband and synth soundtrack.
belgand
+0 -0
I would very much like to see that.
I would very much like to see that.
kaz
+0 -0
I wasn't sure I could like Vlad much more than I already did, but he proved me wrong
I wasn't sure I could like Vlad much more than I already did, but he proved me wrong
jaypage
+1 -0
Does anyone else hear Vlad's voice in their head as Eugene Hutz?
Does anyone else hear Vlad's voice in their head as Eugene Hutz?
qingofchina
+0 -0
I hear him as Jean Reno
I hear him as Jean Reno
anticitizen
+0 -0
I just had a vision of ACHEWOOD: the Movie with Jean Reno in a fake moustache and a very poorly constructed cardboard robot suit...
I just had a vision of ACHEWOOD: the Movie with Jean Reno in a fake moustache and a very poorly constructed cardboard robot suit...
belgand
+0 -0
Jean Reno plays The Man Who Wears A Fez. This is the natural way of things.
Jean Reno plays The Man Who Wears A Fez. This is the natural way of things.
robbie17m
+0 -0
For some reason I just noticed that Vlad has a little robot-gut. It's like falling in love all over again...
For some reason I just noticed that Vlad has a little robot-gut. It's like falling in love all over again...
stereo
+1 -0
He has a bit of a tummy, like when Madonna did Lucky Star. It's not the same thing.
He has a bit of a tummy, like when Madonna did Lucky Star. It's not the same thing.
saulbellow
+0 -0
It's just because his torso is actually the back of a 1993 Tandy Sensation monitor.
It's just because his torso is actually the back of a 1993 Tandy Sensation monitor.
ihmgard
+0 -0
I think it is obvious that me and vlad do not enjoy the same kind of sex
I think it is obvious that me and vlad do not enjoy the same kind of sex
saulbellow
+0 -0
I think it is obvious that you are a liar.
I think it is obvious that you are a liar.
biff
+0 -0
Are you bragging?
Or are you disappointed?
Are you bragging?
Or are you disappointed?
ihmgard
+0 -0
Neither I just don't like using the sort of props that Vlad sees as necessary
Neither I just don't like using the sort of props that Vlad sees as necessary
imhere
+0 -0
Why is the black (Vlad's hair, Ray's thong) in this strip actually a kind of dark gray!?
Why is the black (Vlad's hair, Ray's thong) in this strip actually a kind of dark gray!?
zapatos
+0 -0
windows vista
windows vista
x3ja
+0 -0
hey, anybody know where I could find any web comics that are a little edgier in subject matter and art?
hey, anybody know where I could find any web comics that are a little edgier in subject matter and art?
qingofchina
+0 -0
www.4chan.com
www.4chan.com
qingofchina
+0 -0
seriously though... subnormality
seriously though... subnormality
theguitarhero
+1 -0
This one.
This one.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I once spent two-and-a-half years living in seclusion, celibacy, and Russian novel poverty.
Sometimes when I stare into the Garfield Minus Garfield... it stares back a little too much to bear.
I once spent two-and-a-half years living in seclusion, celibacy, and Russian novel poverty.
Sometimes when I stare into the Garfield Minus Garfield... it stares back a little too much to bear.
daedala_x
+1 -0
ditto. i've gone through some bad times. sometimes i get the same feeling when i read beef, and then immediately after i get sort of angry because beef's depression is somewhat of a gimmick. he hangs out with a group of dudes who involve him in all sorts of hijinks. some of them are willing to spare him a lung, build him a glass chamber with incubator arms just so he'll hang out, or set everything up like Cheers, and it's like dang, beef, how are you still gonna be depressed? what you got to be depressed about? you're just plain ungrateful. if i had a kind and funny lady to take care for me and a bunch of doggs who understood and accommodated my strange cares (i mean yea they rag but it is out of Fondness) i would be hella satisfied.
i don't know why i said all that. it is likely because i am jealous of a cartoon cat.
oh, but G-G is awesome. it is raw. it made me realize why i had such conflicting feelings about Garfield before-- Garfield was the only thing that sucked about Garfield.
ditto. i've gone through some bad times. sometimes i get the same feeling when i read beef, and then immediately after i get sort of angry because beef's depression is somewhat of a gimmick. he hangs out with a group of dudes who involve him in all sorts of hijinks. some of them are willing to spare him a lung, build him a glass chamber with incubator arms just so he'll hang out, or set everything up like Cheers, and it's like dang, beef, how are you still gonna be depressed? what you got to be depressed about? you're just plain ungrateful. if i had a kind and funny lady to take care for me and a bunch of doggs who understood and accommodated my strange cares (i mean yea they rag but it is out of Fondness) i would be hella satisfied.
i don't know why i said all that. it is likely because i am jealous of a cartoon cat.
oh, but G-G is awesome. it is raw. it made me realize why i had such conflicting feelings about Garfield before-- Garfield was the only thing that sucked about Garfield.
wozzeck
+0 -0
When I finally left, as I was packing my things, I came across the cardboard backing to a sketch pad. On it was written, in what was unmistakeably my own handwriting: "My right arm reads minds."
When I finally left, as I was packing my things, I came across the cardboard backing to a sketch pad. On it was written, in what was unmistakeably my own handwriting: "My right arm reads minds."
daedala_x
+0 -0
"Peculiar" I noted and headed towards the door. Outside I had waiting for me a 1982 Subaru Brat.
"Peculiar" I noted and headed towards the door. Outside I had waiting for me a 1982 Subaru Brat.
zapatos
+0 -0
Well Dae, he is still depressed because he sucks.
Well Dae, he is still depressed because he sucks.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
And has depression.
And has depression.
zapatos
+0 -0
holy crap thank you[/caps]
holy crap thank you[/caps]
wonelove
+0 -0
Sawed-off wisdom kicks you in the face and makes you swallow reality in wholes.
Sawed-off wisdom kicks you in the face and makes you swallow reality in wholes.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I keep coming back to this and the previous strip and can't stop laughing. This morning I realised Onstad is the reincarnation of Spike Milligan
I keep coming back to this and the previous strip and can't stop laughing. This morning I realised Onstad is the reincarnation of Spike Milligan
dschwarz
+0 -1
I hate vlad
I hate vlad
achilleselbow
+0 -0
How dare you steal techiebabe's avatar?
How dare you steal techiebabe's avatar?
daedala_x
+0 -0
just for you, elbox.
[IMGS OFF]
just for you, elbox.
[IMGS OFF]
saulbellow
+3 -0
Instructions for enjoying this daedala_x post:
1. Mouse over avatar.
2. Look at all three animated gifs in rapid succession, minimizing the time between each observed bite.
3. Relish it.
Instructions for enjoying this daedala_x post:
1. Mouse over avatar.
2. Look at all three animated gifs in rapid succession, minimizing the time between each observed bite.
3. Relish it.
wonelove
+0 -0
NOM NOM NOM
anyone?
NOM NOM NOM
anyone?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's more like
......... CHOMP
It's more like
......... CHOMP
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah...there isn't any nomming going on.
sry,1♥
yeah...there isn't any nomming going on.
sry,1♥
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Shouldn't there be a part where the hand smacks the living fuck out of the cat?
Or squeezing its rib cage so hard it shits blood?
Shouldn't there be a part where the hand smacks the living fuck out of the cat?
Or squeezing its rib cage so hard it shits blood?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No. This is normal cat behavior. At least that's what I tell myself every time my cat bites me.
No. This is normal cat behavior. At least that's what I tell myself every time my cat bites me.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
This is why I promote the shaving of cats. Just to piss them off. Fucking cats.
This is why I promote the shaving of cats. Just to piss them off. Fucking cats.
belgand
+0 -0
So, I gather, you prefer to fuck shaved pussies because they will be angry? Something is not parsing correctly I suspect.
So, I gather, you prefer to fuck shaved pussies because they will be angry? Something is not parsing correctly I suspect.
rowboat
+0 -0
Your avatar pretty much completely sums up my relationship with my kitten.
Your avatar pretty much completely sums up my relationship with my kitten.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I love how her ears perk up as the hand gets near.
I love how her ears perk up as the hand gets near.
rowboat
+0 -0
Weapon systems - ACTIVATE!
Weapon systems - ACTIVATE!
fancypants
+0 -0
if you are hatink vlad, he will beat you silly.
beat you until clothes fly off and you are as nude as you are ever beink. until you are so nude.
if you are hatink vlad, he will beat you silly.
beat you until clothes fly off and you are as nude as you are ever beink. until you are so nude.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Beat you with the ugliest song playing guitar.
Beat you with the ugliest song playing guitar.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Achewood Unauthorized FAQ #138
Why does Vlad think in broken English? Why doesn't he just think in Russian?
Because he's an idiot.
Achewood Unauthorized FAQ #138
Why does Vlad think in broken English? Why doesn't he just think in Russian?
Because he's an idiot.
anticitizen
+5 -0
Maybe it's just his interface. Why would a robot need to think in English anyway? His natural thought processes are probably just binary with the occasionally Eastern European inflection placed upon it.
010101010110101010100101-ski
Maybe it's just his interface. Why would a robot need to think in English anyway? His natural thought processes are probably just binary with the occasionally Eastern European inflection placed upon it.
010101010110101010100101-ski
saulbellow
+0 -0
While we're at it, how often does anyone think in complete sentences? I guess it's just an accepted literary device.
While we're at it, how often does anyone think in complete sentences? I guess it's just an accepted literary device.
biff
+0 -0
Wait, are you saying the fact that I think in complete sentences is abnormal?
Wait, are you saying the fact that I think in complete sentences is abnormal?
falseprophet
+5 -0
I probably don't think in I probably more often than not interrupt It's probably a main reason why I have trouble Or you know what that's just me reminding myself of something retarded my thesis advisor told me which was way That guy was an He sounded like my roommates sometimes when we were watching bad sci-fi movies they would make fun of them for being inaccurate and I'd be like "No that actually makes sense" then they would pull some shit like "Well the movie should be simple enough for a wide audience" idiot off-base thinking clearly myself complete sentences.
I probably don't think in I probably more often than not interrupt It's probably a main reason why I have trouble Or you know what that's just me reminding myself of something retarded my thesis advisor told me which was way That guy was an He sounded like my roommates sometimes when we were watching bad sci-fi movies they would make fun of them for being inaccurate and I'd be like "No that actually makes sense" then they would pull some shit like "Well the movie should be simple enough for a wide audience" idiot off-base thinking clearly myself complete sentences.
stereo
+0 -0
well basically my thoughts are hey look my fingers are making sounds and the british are coming panic or death who begin smoking falseprophet is making what the hell is 22 percent hey it's ten to seven oh god my eye is beating then lat conclusion oh god my eyes are rolling on their own what the hell
well basically my thoughts are hey look my fingers are making sounds and the british are coming panic or death who begin smoking falseprophet is making what the hell is 22 percent hey it's ten to seven oh god my eye is beating then lat conclusion oh god my eyes are rolling on their own what the hell
tekende
+0 -0
I think in complete sentences all the time. My conscious thought process is pretty much always a sort of conversation.
I think in complete sentences all the time. My conscious thought process is pretty much always a sort of conversation.
belgand
+0 -0
That seems to be my way as well. There are a lot of tangents, but I follow them and they become new tangents. Basically I speak/write the way I think. I probably need more of a limiter on it actually. Maybe some sort of tape delay or something.
That seems to be my way as well. There are a lot of tangents, but I follow them and they become new tangents. Basically I speak/write the way I think. I probably need more of a limiter on it actually. Maybe some sort of tape delay or something.
tekende
+0 -0
I generally follow tangents as well and sometimes go so far that I forget what I was initially thinking about.
I generally follow tangents as well and sometimes go so far that I forget what I was initially thinking about.
biff
+0 -0
I don't often follow tangents directly. I break them down into sine over cosines, and then I get fuck-all sidetracked,
I don't often follow tangents directly. I break them down into sine over cosines, and then I get fuck-all sidetracked,
zapatos
+0 -0
I don't think, I react.
I don't think, I react.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
How dare you print that here! MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!
How dare you print that here! MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
anticitizen took Dorthy Hedonismbot out on a very nice seafood dinner and never called her again.
anticitizen took Dorthy Hedonismbot out on a very nice seafood dinner and never called her again.
anticitizen
+0 -0
because she kept rubbing the lobster butter all over herself and giggling all dinner long!
because she kept rubbing the lobster butter all over herself and giggling all dinner long!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
DAMMIT ANTICITIZEN YOU RUINED MY JOKE.
RUINED IT.
DAMMIT ANTICITIZEN YOU RUINED MY JOKE.
RUINED IT.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Dorthy Hedonismbot and I are gonna to get married one day on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside!
yep. totally brought it back.
Dorthy Hedonismbot and I are gonna to get married one day on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside!
yep. totally brought it back.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED.
AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED.
stereo
+0 -0
Heh, that is exactly how I imagined hedonismbot's mom.
Heh, that is exactly how I imagined hedonismbot's mom.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hey guys, just wanted to tell you now that starting next week I'm taking a break of Assetbar, just to allow myself to refresh!
Hey guys, just wanted to tell you now that starting next week I'm taking a break of Assetbar, just to allow myself to refresh!
aperson
+0 -0
Become refreshed and be well, tgh. Ommm.
Become refreshed and be well, tgh. Ommm.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh my god it's moving why is it moving!!
Oh my god it's moving why is it moving!!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You will miss one and a half strips of conversation
You will miss one and a half strips of conversation
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I also want to wish everyone a happy early Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Boxing Day, and any other winter holidays I may have accidentally* skipped over.
i didn't skip them over on accident.
I also want to wish everyone a happy early Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Boxing Day, and any other winter holidays I may have accidentally* skipped over.
i didn't skip them over on accident.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Kwanzaa is a lie.
Kwanzaa is a lie.
belgand
+0 -0
Exactly. It was just a late-60s reactionary Afro-Centric creation. It would be like creating a fake feminist holiday and claiming that Christmas was the holiday of the patriarchy and women needed their own special holiday at the same basic time to celebrate being a woman instead.
I celebrate, well, I used to celebrate Mythmas, but I believe the phrasing that's taking over very rapidly now is Squidmas though I can't quite pin it down.
I grew up never celebrating holidays with anyone outside my immediate family and holidays were never a family thing in that regard. To me the true meaning of Mythmas is that I get presents. It's basically my birthday, but in December and it's also everybody else's birthday too. That's exactly what I want out of a holiday.
Exactly. It was just a late-60s reactionary Afro-Centric creation. It would be like creating a fake feminist holiday and claiming that Christmas was the holiday of the patriarchy and women needed their own special holiday at the same basic time to celebrate being a woman instead.
I celebrate, well, I used to celebrate Mythmas, but I believe the phrasing that's taking over very rapidly now is Squidmas though I can't quite pin it down.
I grew up never celebrating holidays with anyone outside my immediate family and holidays were never a family thing in that regard. To me the true meaning of Mythmas is that I get presents. It's basically my birthday, but in December and it's also everybody else's birthday too. That's exactly what I want out of a holiday.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
omg belgand are you jesus?
omg belgand are you jesus?
belgand
+0 -0
Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
I would not be one teeny bit surprised if this actually happens someday. In fact, if this does NOT happen before I die, I will die surprised.
Quote:
It would be like creating a fake feminist holiday and claiming that Christmas was the holiday of the patriarchy and women needed their own special holiday at the same basic time to celebrate being a woman instead.
I would not be one teeny bit surprised if this actually happens someday. In fact, if this does NOT happen before I die, I will die surprised.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well there is already International Women's Day, but it's mostly celebrated in Socialist and former Socialist countries.
Well there is already International Women's Day, but it's mostly celebrated in Socialist and former Socialist countries.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It is celebrated by the woman staying home from work and cooking all day.
It is celebrated by the woman staying home from work and cooking all day.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dammit hedobot, HTML DOESN'T WORK HERE.
Dammit hedobot, HTML DOESN'T WORK HERE.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Also you forgot to close the tag SO YOU ARE STUCK LIKE THAT.
Also you forgot to close the tag SO YOU ARE STUCK LIKE THAT.
biff
+0 -0
It's OK, it wouldn't have worked anyway.
He meant.
It's OK, it wouldn't have worked anyway.
He meant
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Socialism is the reason that I can barely stand either my mom or my Grandma's cooking. They each know how to make about three simple dishes, because women were freed from the slavery of the kitchen, but someone still had to cook.
But seriously, could you imagine this being promoted by the American government even today?
[IMGS OFF]
Socialism is the reason that I can barely stand either my mom or my Grandma's cooking. They each know how to make about three simple dishes, because women were freed from the slavery of the kitchen, but someone still had to cook.
But seriously, could you imagine this being promoted by the American government even today?
[IMGS OFF]
sje46
+0 -0
Is this Russian Futurism?
I am studying for my art history test and I have to know these things.
Is this Russian Futurism?
I am studying for my art history test and I have to know these things.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Socialist Realism, I think.
The text says "Day of the Uprising of Women Workers against Kitchen Slavery"
Socialist Realism, I think.
The text says "Day of the Uprising of Women Workers against Kitchen Slavery"
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Russian Magical Realism.
Does anyone have that image that someone did during the Shrovis arc with the list of every country's magical realism?
Russian Magical Realism.
Does anyone have that image that someone did during the Shrovis arc with the list of every country's magical realism?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Subtext: there were no beets for borscht, no potatoes for soup or even peels for vodka. The menfolk were all out drinking the vodka that didn't exist.
It was a good day for an uprising.
Only...Who to rise up against in the Socialist Worker's Paradise....?
[/B] OURSELVES! [/B]
Subtext: there were no beets for borscht, no potatoes for soup or even peels for vodka. The menfolk were all out drinking the vodka that didn't exist.
It was a good day for an uprising.
Only...Who to rise up against in the Socialist Worker's Paradise....?
[/B] OURSELVES! [/B]
sje46
+0 -0
Dang. Wasn't even aware of this art style.
Dang. Wasn't even aware of this art style.
belgand
+0 -0
I forgot to say "phallocentric". I totally can't believe that.
Mygirlfriend spirit journey collaborator and I analyzed how this could come about. Is not tree giant phallic symbol? With it's balls and sprays of garland that are obviously all about his desire to cover everything in his semen?
Is not Santa Claus massive male figure? Paternal oppressor deciding if people are good or bad as only a man is allowed to do so? Even with his beard he celebrates the masculine secondary-sexual characteristics! "Mrs." Claus? She is nothing. She is housewife with no value.
What goes under tree? BOXES! Man is saying that wymyn are inferior to his own phallic nature by placing his "presents" under the symbol of his oppression which he refers to with a slur designed to cement his own power. They are something to be "unwrapped". His "present" because that is how men see wymyn. As a gift that they will undress and then enjoy. Something to be given to them by their male figurehead who enables the all-encompassing gynoppression inherent in the holiday.
I forgot to say "phallocentric". I totally can't believe that.
My
Is not Santa Claus massive male figure? Paternal oppressor deciding if people are good or bad as only a man is allowed to do so? Even with his beard he celebrates the masculine secondary-sexual characteristics! "Mrs." Claus? She is nothing. She is housewife with no value.
What goes under tree? BOXES! Man is saying that wymyn are inferior to his own phallic nature by placing his "presents" under the symbol of his oppression which he refers to with a slur designed to cement his own power. They are something to be "unwrapped". His "present" because that is how men see wymyn. As a gift that they will undress and then enjoy. Something to be given to them by their male figurehead who enables the all-encompassing gynoppression inherent in the holiday.
stereo
+0 -0
And he straight up penetrates your chimney without even asking.
It's long, it's dark, and it's not the normal entrance. EASY TO SEE THE METAPHOR THERE
And he straight up penetrates your chimney without even asking.
It's long, it's dark, and it's not the normal entrance. EASY TO SEE THE METAPHOR THERE
belgand
+0 -0
That anal sex is the most awesome thing ever and will result in you being very happy? That children lie awake at night waiting for it to happen?
All of this is correct as far as I know.
That anal sex is the most awesome thing ever and will result in you being very happy? That children lie awake at night waiting for it to happen?
All of this is correct as far as I know.
stereo
+1 -0
And it's secretly your parents
And it's secretly your parents
belgand
+0 -0
I never really believed in Santa. My friends wouldn't believe me though. Who is to be having laugh at the last?! HA-HA!
If I had a child I would not tell them that Santa was real. I think it is a sick and cruel thing to do to a child to lie to them just because you think it's cute. I have heard people say that they think it's OK because kids really get into it and it's harmless, but these same people get really pissed when you tell kids the truth and don't indulge them in perpetuating a lie. I don't see the problem. Is it really so bad for a child to know that their parents love them very much and buy them presents? Isn't a parent's love better than a million fake Santas and years of being lied to?
Children deserve to know the truth.
I never really believed in Santa. My friends wouldn't believe me though. Who is to be having laugh at the last?! HA-HA!
If I had a child I would not tell them that Santa was real. I think it is a sick and cruel thing to do to a child to lie to them just because you think it's cute. I have heard people say that they think it's OK because kids really get into it and it's harmless, but these same people get really pissed when you tell kids the truth and don't indulge them in perpetuating a lie. I don't see the problem. Is it really so bad for a child to know that their parents love them very much and buy them presents? Isn't a parent's love better than a million fake Santas and years of being lied to?
Children deserve to know the truth.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The way it worked in USSR was kind of weird. Santa was called Grandfather Frost, and everything we associate with Christmas was carried over to New Years. Instead of leaving presents under the tree and telling you it was Santa, your parents would take you to some place in the area where he was appearing, and he would greet you and hand you the presents that your parents had given to him. Or sometimes if a bunch of parents got together and had a New Years party for the children they'd get him to actually show up at the house. The point being that it was always out in the open instead of a secret thing, and I'm not sure if anyone ever fully bought into the whole supernatural belief. Plus, there was always the notion that your parents were behind it, at least in the sense that they were the ones taking you to see Santa or getting him to come. Which is good, because kids should learn to be grateful to their parents for the shit they're getting and not some mythical creature.
The way it worked in USSR was kind of weird. Santa was called Grandfather Frost, and everything we associate with Christmas was carried over to New Years. Instead of leaving presents under the tree and telling you it was Santa, your parents would take you to some place in the area where he was appearing, and he would greet you and hand you the presents that your parents had given to him. Or sometimes if a bunch of parents got together and had a New Years party for the children they'd get him to actually show up at the house. The point being that it was always out in the open instead of a secret thing, and I'm not sure if anyone ever fully bought into the whole supernatural belief. Plus, there was always the notion that your parents were behind it, at least in the sense that they were the ones taking you to see Santa or getting him to come. Which is good, because kids should learn to be grateful to their parents for the shit they're getting and not some mythical creature.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...and then the Santa, the last of its kind, stumbled off into the Arctic Circle, never to be seen again but if you hear a bump in the night on the twenty-fourth of December and you're really sure your parents are asleep, it is him.
And he loves you.
...and then the Santa, the last of its kind, stumbled off into the Arctic Circle, never to be seen again but if you hear a bump in the night on the twenty-fourth of December and you're really sure your parents are asleep, it is him.
And he loves you.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, if it's just part of the ceremony then that's totally cool. It's the willful intent to convince children that he is real when they know otherwise and then getting astoundingly angry whenever someone might let a child in that they've been lying to them that bothers me.
Hmm... the more I think about this the more religious it seems.
Yeah, if it's just part of the ceremony then that's totally cool. It's the willful intent to convince children that he is real when they know otherwise and then getting astoundingly angry whenever someone might let a child in that they've been lying to them that bothers me.
Hmm... the more I think about this the more religious it seems.
sje46
+0 -0
I never believed in Santa either!
I was actually kinda surprised when I learned that others actually did and weren't just faking it. I also never believed in God. I am not sure why.
I never believed in Santa either!
I was actually kinda surprised when I learned that others actually did and weren't just faking it. I also never believed in God. I am not sure why.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
women do not celebrate it but they have a day or two or five set out for themselves every month. unless they have Disorders or a sort. then they do not.
women do not celebrate it but they have a day or two or five set out for themselves every month. unless they have Disorders or a sort. then they do not.
biff
+0 -0
Quote:
That is why Giftmas is such an excellent replacement term.
Quote:
To me the true meaning of Mythmas is that I get presents.
That is why Giftmas is such an excellent replacement term.
zapatos
+0 -0
I agree with this asset.
I agree with this asset.
belgand
+0 -0
But do you agree that Scrooged is awesome? So far it's the only one of the three Christmas movies I enjoy (Nightmare Before Christmas and A Christmas Story) that hasn't yet been totally ruined.
I remember watching A Christmas Story as a kid in the 80s when it was still a once a year thing. Now it just gets put on a lot of the time because there's nothing else on TV and I know they're running it all damn day. Yeah, it's ruined as a result, but I still can derive a thin, watery enjoyment from it.
But do you agree that Scrooged is awesome? So far it's the only one of the three Christmas movies I enjoy (Nightmare Before Christmas and A Christmas Story) that hasn't yet been totally ruined.
I remember watching A Christmas Story as a kid in the 80s when it was still a once a year thing. Now it just gets put on a lot of the time because there's nothing else on TV and I know they're running it all damn day. Yeah, it's ruined as a result, but I still can derive a thin, watery enjoyment from it.
tekende
+0 -0
There is an easy solution to this. It is so easy that I do not understand why people complain about this "problem". When you would like to watch A Christmas Story , watch it once. Change the channel or turn off the TV when it comes on again. See how easy that was?
I'm sorry if I blew your minds, people who complain about the 24-hour A Christmas Story marathon.
There is an easy solution to this. It is so easy that I do not understand why people complain about this "problem". When you would like to watch A Christmas Story , watch it once. Change the channel or turn off the TV when it comes on again. See how easy that was?
I'm sorry if I blew your minds, people who complain about the 24-hour A Christmas Story marathon.
belgand
+0 -0
It is my compulsion of liking the film and nothing else being on. I realize I do it to myself, but I cannot stop.
Also a bit of hipstery "I liked it before it was a big thing and totally played out" sort of thing going on there.
It is my compulsion of liking the film and nothing else being on. I realize I do it to myself, but I cannot stop.
Also a bit of hipstery "I liked it before it was a big thing and totally played out" sort of thing going on there.
zapatos
+0 -0
YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT LOL[/b]
[i]i did that on purpose
YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT LOL[/b]
[i]i did that on purpose
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I personally consider Lethal Weapon a Christmas film, and my favourite of the genre.
I personally consider Lethal Weapon a Christmas film, and my favourite of the genre.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Die Hard.
Die Hard.
octafish
+0 -0
Die Hard seconded (my second favorite Xmas film after the Muppet Xmas Carol), also Gremlins.
Die Hard seconded (my second favorite Xmas film after the Muppet Xmas Carol), also Gremlins.
rowboat
+0 -0
It's A Wonderful Life gets no respect. Whether or not it's severely played out (and I know that it is), it's really a good movie. I hated it when I was a kid, but it's been steadily growing on me for the past few years.
I don't expect this to be a popular opinion.
It's A Wonderful Life gets no respect. Whether or not it's severely played out (and I know that it is), it's really a good movie. I hated it when I was a kid, but it's been steadily growing on me for the past few years.
I don't expect this to be a popular opinion.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
YOUR OPINION IS STUPID.
Seriously though, I have never watched Wonderful Life all the way through, though this is more my fault and not the movie's. I either watch up until he tries to jump or after he sees what life is like if he was dead.
Favorite Christmas movies of mine are probably Home Alone 2, Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, or Die Hard.
YOUR OPINION IS STUPID.
Seriously though, I have never watched Wonderful Life all the way through, though this is more my fault and not the movie's. I either watch up until he tries to jump or after he sees what life is like if he was dead.
Favorite Christmas movies of mine are probably Home Alone 2, Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, or Die Hard.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Three words:
Muppet. Christmas. Carol.
I'm a man of high tastes.
Three words:
Muppet. Christmas. Carol.
I'm a man of high tastes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh damn, I totally forgot about that.
They played it in the courtyard on my campus and just about creamed my jeans.
Oh damn, I totally forgot about that.
They played it in the courtyard on my campus and just about creamed my jeans.
belgand
+0 -0
I think you mean "Muppets From Space". That film was just so much funkier than it had any right to be. I can't even explain it. The only watchable modern-day muppet project.
I think you mean "Muppets From Space". That film was just so much funkier than it had any right to be. I can't even explain it. The only watchable modern-day muppet project.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Muppets from Space isn't a Christmas movie though.
Muppets from Space isn't a Christmas movie though.
zapatos
+0 -0
What if you watch it on December 25th?
What if you watch it on December 25th?
belgand
+0 -0
I know, it's better. Muppet Christmas Carol? The SUCK I say!
I know, it's better. Muppet Christmas Carol? The SUCK I say!
rowboat
+0 -0
Against all logical reasoning, I still love Die Hard every bit as much as I did when I was ten.
Against all logical reasoning, I still love Die Hard every bit as much as I did when I was ten.
anticitizen
+0 -0
good call.
good call.
belgand
+0 -0
The logical reasoning is that it is awesome.
Family Matters was spun-off from it. I did not watch that show though. Do not fault it for that.
It taught Reginald VelJohnson how to kill again.
The logical reasoning is that it is awesome.
Family Matters was spun-off from it. I did not watch that show though. Do not fault it for that.
It taught Reginald VelJohnson how to kill again.
stereo
+0 -0
Wow, were you holding in all these comments the whole time Assetbar was broken?
Wow, were you holding in all these comments the whole time Assetbar was broken?
belgand
+0 -0
Probably. I just was checking it quite often to see when it would come back up so I guess I got here not long after it was up again.
I had to resort to spending more time on another forum where I have been neglecting my duties recently.
Probably. I just was checking it quite often to see when it would come back up so I guess I got here not long after it was up again.
I had to resort to spending more time on another forum where I have been neglecting my duties recently.
belgand
+0 -0
By which I mean, do not fault Die Hard for leading to Family Matters . Sometimes these things happen for reasons we can't understand.
By which I mean, do not fault Die Hard for leading to Family Matters . Sometimes these things happen for reasons we can't understand.
falseprophet
+0 -0
What are you talking about?
Die Hard did not lead to Family Matters .
Perfect Strangers led to Family Matters .
What are you talking about?
Die Hard did not lead to Family Matters .
Perfect Strangers led to Family Matters .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HEY GUYS! BELGAND DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT 90s SITCOMS!
HEY GUYS! BELGAND DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT 90s SITCOMS!
tekende
+0 -0
Yeah, I was gonna say.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Wouldn't it be much better that way though?
Wouldn't it be much better that way though?
belgand
+0 -0
Was Reginald VelJohnson a cop on Perfect Strangers ? Because he sure as hell was in Die Hard . This is so obvious.
Also, Carl Winslow did not appear until season 4 of Perfect Strangers which would post-date Die Hard .
Was Reginald VelJohnson a cop on Perfect Strangers ? Because he sure as hell was in Die Hard . This is so obvious.
Also, Carl Winslow did not appear until season 4 of Perfect Strangers which would post-date Die Hard .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
"The show, a spin-off of Perfect Strangers, originally focused on the character of Carl Winslow and his family."
Hoisted by your own "just look it up" petard!
Shall I prepare your tanto?
"The show, a spin-off of Perfect Strangers, originally focused on the character of Carl Winslow and his family."
Hoisted by your own "just look it up" petard!
Shall I prepare your tanto?
belgand
+0 -0
Actually, my whole point was that I was originally just joking. I find it kind of odd that people kept making it into a big thing with what really happened. He played a cop in both and they were both around the same time.
Yeah, I did look it up as soon as someone said it, but it's not relevant to my joking. I do not think any person seriously believed Family Matters to be a spin-off from Die Hard .
Also, Family Matters was a terrible show.
Actually, my whole point was that I was originally just joking. I find it kind of odd that people kept making it into a big thing with what really happened. He played a cop in both and they were both around the same time.
Yeah, I did look it up as soon as someone said it, but it's not relevant to my joking. I do not think any person seriously believed Family Matters to be a spin-off from Die Hard .
Also, Family Matters was a terrible show.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NO IT WASN'T. In the continuum of classic TGIF shows, Step By Step was EASILY the worst, and there was another show with an uncle character that was a football player that was horrible too.
The best was Boy Meets World and Dinosaurs though, followed by the one-season classic Teen Angel.
NO IT WASN'T. In the continuum of classic TGIF shows, Step By Step was EASILY the worst, and there was another show with an uncle character that was a football player that was horrible too.
The best was Boy Meets World and Dinosaurs though, followed by the one-season classic Teen Angel.
sje46
+0 -0
A little know fact is that Boy Meets World is even a terrible show, but maybe I'm just trolling.
I remember Teen Angel.
A little know fact is that Boy Meets World is even a terrible show, but maybe I'm just trolling.
I remember Teen Angel.
tekende
+0 -0
Boy Meets World was pretty awesome. I enjoyed Family Matters back in the day, though when I watch a rerun these days it doesn't seem as good as it used to.
But yeah, Step By Step. Man. What an awful show. Almost as bad as Full House.
Boy Meets World was pretty awesome. I enjoyed Family Matters back in the day, though when I watch a rerun these days it doesn't seem as good as it used to.
But yeah, Step By Step. Man. What an awful show. Almost as bad as Full House.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But the dude was in Kickboxer 2!
But the dude was in Kickboxer 2!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah Urkel is a borderline sexual predator when you look back on it.
FULL HOUSE was so effing horrible, oh my god I can't even describe it. I liked Bob Saget on America's Funniest Home Videos better, anyway, and I was sad when he left.
Boy Meets World predates Degrassi and most modern teen sitcoms by doing the "very special" episodes (yes I know other sitcoms before BMW did it too), and they did it so well too. The episode where Shaun's dad dies still gets me today, I'm even tearing up now thinking about. And then they totally made fun of that formula with that one Halloween episode.
Yeah Urkel is a borderline sexual predator when you look back on it.
FULL HOUSE was so effing horrible, oh my god I can't even describe it. I liked Bob Saget on America's Funniest Home Videos better, anyway, and I was sad when he left.
Boy Meets World predates Degrassi and most modern teen sitcoms by doing the "very special" episodes (yes I know other sitcoms before BMW did it too), and they did it so well too. The episode where Shaun's dad dies still gets me today, I'm even tearing up now thinking about. And then they totally made fun of that formula with that one Halloween episode.
belgand
+0 -0
Technically Degrassi as a series started in '80, but even Degrassi High started in '89 while Boy Meets World wasn't on until '93. I can't believe that it was on until '00 though. I simply cannot imagine it going on that long. I was definitely past the proper age to watch it.
Blossom, as well, as the canonical answer for "very special" and it started in '91. Boy Meets World was simply, it appears, your exposure to "very special", but it does not seem to objectively be so.
Technically Degrassi as a series started in '80, but even Degrassi High started in '89 while Boy Meets World wasn't on until '93. I can't believe that it was on until '00 though. I simply cannot imagine it going on that long. I was definitely past the proper age to watch it.
Blossom, as well, as the canonical answer for "very special" and it started in '91. Boy Meets World was simply, it appears, your exposure to "very special", but it does not seem to objectively be so.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
To be fair I didn't even know about Degrassi until well after well after BMW went off the air, I assumed, what with the Kevin Smith crossover bullshit it was a 90s thing.
I am sorry I do not know the chronology of television programs guys! I guess I failed you all?
To be fair I didn't even know about Degrassi until well after well after BMW went off the air, I assumed, what with the Kevin Smith crossover bullshit it was a 90s thing.
I am sorry I do not know the chronology of television programs guys! I guess I failed you all?
belgand
+0 -0
No, that's Next Generation, it's a new thing. Apparently the original Degrassi was just a Canadian thing. I don't think it aired in the US.
Still, Blossom is the main source for "very special episode". Nobody ever says, jokingly, "a very special episode of Boy Meets World ". Always it is Blossom .
I wasn't certain on the chronology, but a quick check on Wikipedia fixed the dates and gave me the solid data I wanted to back up my own beliefs.
No, that's Next Generation, it's a new thing. Apparently the original Degrassi was just a Canadian thing. I don't think it aired in the US.
Still, Blossom is the main source for "very special episode". Nobody ever says, jokingly, "a very special episode of Boy Meets World ". Always it is Blossom .
I wasn't certain on the chronology, but a quick check on Wikipedia fixed the dates and gave me the solid data I wanted to back up my own beliefs.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I wasn't saying that they actually called it that I was saying that they often had episodes that would qualify as VSEs.
I wasn't saying that they actually called it that I was saying that they often had episodes that would qualify as VSEs.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah, we used to watch the original Degrassi in 8th grade health calss. I don't know why. We watched an episode where a kid has AIDS (And people called him gay, which is a stereotype I hadn't heard about the AIDS-inflicted before) and another episode where one of the kids tries to buy condoms.
BAsically it is the type of show I can't stand.
Yeah, we used to watch the original Degrassi in 8th grade health calss. I don't know why. We watched an episode where a kid has AIDS (And people called him gay, which is a stereotype I hadn't heard about the AIDS-inflicted before) and another episode where one of the kids tries to buy condoms.
BAsically it is the type of show I can't stand.
belgand
+0 -0
All of those were awful. Please let us agree that nothing is worse than Full House though.
All of those were awful. Please let us agree that nothing is worse than Full House though.
tekende
+0 -0
He was a cop in both things, but he was merely a recurring character in Perfect Strangers.
In fact, I believe he played a lot of cop roles in his career. It doesn't mean they're all Carl Winslow.
He was a cop in both things, but he was merely a recurring character in Perfect Strangers.
In fact, I believe he played a lot of cop roles in his career. It doesn't mean they're all Carl Winslow.
falseprophet
+6 -0
[IMGS OFF]
We Are All Carl Winslow.
[IMGS OFF]
We Are All Carl Winslow.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's a shame this is coming so late in the strip. This deserves more chubs than anything here.
It's a shame this is coming so late in the strip. This deserves more chubs than anything here.
sje46
+0 -0
I chubb'd it.
Did you yourself do this shoop, falsie? It's pretty good.
I chubb'd it.
Did you yourself do this shoop, falsie? It's pretty good.
falseprophet
+0 -0
No I just did a Google image search for Carl Winslow and picked the most hilarious image that came into my eye.
No I just did a Google image search for Carl Winslow and picked the most hilarious image that came into my eye.
tekende
+0 -0
It took me a minute to see what you'd done here, but this is awesome.
It took me a minute to see what you'd done here, but this is awesome.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Tekende did not realize at first that George Harrison had been replaced by Carl Winslow because he is colorblind and does not see race .
* ~ * Black America's feelings on this asset are: hold up.
The ideal of "colorblindness" only has appeal to those that feel racial desegregation requires cultural assimilation. While the ideal of a 'post-racial' figure is encouraging because it shows there is a viable means for members of minority groups to achieve success (see: President-Elect Barack Obama), freedom of expression includes cultural modalities as well. In the melting pot, care must be taken to ensure that we do not overwhelm the taste of the spice with the texture of the seasoning.
*~*
Tekende did not realize at first that George Harrison had been replaced by Carl Winslow because he is colorblind and does not see race .
* ~ * Black America's feelings on this asset are: hold up.
The ideal of "colorblindness" only has appeal to those that feel racial desegregation requires cultural assimilation. While the ideal of a 'post-racial' figure is encouraging because it shows there is a viable means for members of minority groups to achieve success (see: President-Elect Barack Obama), freedom of expression includes cultural modalities as well. In the melting pot, care must be taken to ensure that we do not overwhelm the taste of the spice with the texture of the seasoning.
*~*
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm supposed to be writing a paper on Fanon right now. This is somehow relevant.
I'm supposed to be writing a paper on Fanon right now. This is somehow relevant.
irondave
+0 -0
Here I thought it was because Tekende has a crush on Paul.
Here I thought it was because Tekende has a crush on Paul.
tekende
+0 -0
Nope. Ringo all the way.
Nope. Ringo all the way.
sje46
+0 -0
Agreed.
Agreed.
sje46
+0 -0
Me too, actually.
Me too, actually.
octafish
+0 -0
Oh cousin Larry, I think Bevelery Hills Cop lead to Perfect Strangers.
Oh cousin Larry, I think Bevelery Hills Cop lead to Perfect Strangers.
biff
+0 -0
Scrooge with Albert Finney. Saw that one in the theater the year it came out. I was eight.
I still love to watch it.
The one with Bill Murray is also good, but it is a completely different kind of movie.
I have still never seen A Christmas Story.
And to answer the question of how can I have missed it when it is so ubiquitous, I do not watch TV.
I may watch it some day, but I don't feel any urge to see it.
And Christmas Vacation ? Someone would have to get all Ludovico on me to get me to watch that.
Scrooge with Albert Finney. Saw that one in the theater the year it came out. I was eight.
I still love to watch it.
The one with Bill Murray is also good, but it is a completely different kind of movie.
I have still never seen A Christmas Story.
And to answer the question of how can I have missed it when it is so ubiquitous, I do not watch TV.
I may watch it some day, but I don't feel any urge to see it.
And Christmas Vacation ? Someone would have to get all Ludovico on me to get me to watch that.
stereo
+0 -0
What, no love for Planes, Trains, & Automobiles ? I'm sad now.
What, no love for Planes, Trains, & Automobiles ? I'm sad now.
stereo
+0 -0
American Thanksgiving is basically the same thing as Christmas to me.
American Thanksgiving is basically the same thing as Christmas to me.
biff
+0 -0
You get presents?
You get presents?
belgand
+0 -0
Steve Martin comes to his house.
At one time this was awesome, but in recent years is not so good a thing.
Why can't he go all Bill Murray and make good films now though. I didn't see Shopgirl though, but it might have had promise. His other work is generally good, but his films... it is clear that this is a man with an art problem.
Steve Martin comes to his house.
At one time this was awesome, but in recent years is not so good a thing.
Why can't he go all Bill Murray and make good films now though. I didn't see Shopgirl though, but it might have had promise. His other work is generally good, but his films... it is clear that this is a man with an art problem.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Shopgirl was good.
Shopgirl was good.
tekende
+0 -0
Shopgirl was excellent. But do not expect ripping good laughs. It is not really a comedy.
Shopgirl was excellent. But do not expect ripping good laughs. It is not really a comedy.
rowboat
+0 -0
I liked Shopgirl for one reason only.
I liked Shopgirl for one reason only.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Shirtless Jason Schwartzman, AMIRITE?????
Shirtless Jason Schwartzman, AMIRITE?????
rowboat
+0 -0
Totally.
Totally.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Seriously though, what was it? I have only seen this movie once and I wasn't paying too much attention but it seemed decent enough.
Seriously though, what was it? I have only seen this movie once and I wasn't paying too much attention but it seemed decent enough.
rowboat
+0 -0
Simple. Danes. My only contemporary Hollywood crush.
Simple. Danes. My only contemporary Hollywood crush.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh yes indeedy. I've suddenly developed an attraction to Scarlett Johanssen as well...
Oh yes indeedy. I've suddenly developed an attraction to Scarlett Johanssen as well...
anticitizen
+0 -0
How so?
How so?
stereo
+0 -0
They're both in the middle of the winter, and turkey is involved.
Presents I don't see as an important part of Christmas in the first place.
They're both in the middle of the winter, and turkey is involved.
Presents I don't see as an important part of Christmas in the first place.
biff
+0 -0
Are you dissing Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar?
Dang, dude.
Are you dissing Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar?
Dang, dude.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He be Drinkin' -
One Caspar.
One Melchior.
One Balthazar.
He be Drinkin' -
One Caspar.
One Melchior.
One Balthazar.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Cause it's a FuckyouverymuchFriday.
Cause it's a FuckyouverymuchFriday.
zapatos
+1 -0
The Gurus of Time, Life, and Reason?
The Gurus of Time, Life, and Reason?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh man. That reference. I came.
Oh man. That reference. I came.
zapatos
+0 -0
I'm just saying he better not be disrespecting my main men.
I'm just saying he better not be disrespecting my main men.
belgand
+0 -0
Christmas does not have turkey. It is a ham holiday. Perhaps duck or goose is a good option. Maybe a crown roast if you want to go that way. But never turkey.
Presents are the only part of Christmas.
Christmas does not have turkey. It is a ham holiday. Perhaps duck or goose is a good option. Maybe a crown roast if you want to go that way. But never turkey.
Presents are the only part of Christmas.
biff
+0 -0
Haven't seen that one either.
Haven't seen that one either.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Yeaaah Christmas Vacation is pretty rough but it's something to the effect of a guilty pleasure for me.
Yeaaah Christmas Vacation is pretty rough but it's something to the effect of a guilty pleasure for me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's the only Christmas movie that I've bought on DVD solely because we watch it every Christmas in my household.
It only gets good after Randy Quaid comes in though. Then it is hysterical.
It's the only Christmas movie that I've bought on DVD solely because we watch it every Christmas in my household.
It only gets good after Randy Quaid comes in though. Then it is hysterical.
belgand
+0 -0
Die Hard doesn't quite count. I know, I know, but no. It doesn't.
Christmas Vacation is pretty good, but it's a "it's on TV so I'll watch it" kind of film. Not enough to be ranked. Juliette Lewis was a lot hotter in both From Dusk 'til Dawn and Strange Days though.
Home Alone 2 is the final straw. Is time to beat you in the junk so hard that we turn your bozack into not so much an angry little plum, but a prune that a car has peeled out on.
Die Hard doesn't quite count. I know, I know, but no. It doesn't.
Christmas Vacation is pretty good, but it's a "it's on TV so I'll watch it" kind of film. Not enough to be ranked. Juliette Lewis was a lot hotter in both From Dusk 'til Dawn and Strange Days though.
Home Alone 2 is the final straw. Is time to beat you in the junk so hard that we turn your bozack into not so much an angry little plum, but a prune that a car has peeled out on.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WTF Home Alone 2 is WAY better than any other part of the series.
WTF Home Alone 2 is WAY better than any other part of the series.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
completely!
also 'cos of Tim Curry.
i had a question about things like this...
should you like prequels of awesomer movies simply 'cos they led to the second one being made?
(as in as-filmed prequels. none of this star wars jazz.)
completely!
also 'cos of Tim Curry.
i had a question about things like this...
should you like prequels of awesomer movies simply 'cos they led to the second one being made?
(as in as-filmed prequels. none of this star wars jazz.)
mattylite
+0 -0
Wh-why-why old man potter, you're nothing but scurvy litle spider.
Wh-why-why old man potter, you're nothing but scurvy litle spider.
tekende
+0 -0
I agree, It's a Wonderful Life is a fantastic movie. I haven't seen it in a few years...I should probably make an effort to watch it again soon.
I agree, It's a Wonderful Life is a fantastic movie. I haven't seen it in a few years...I should probably make an effort to watch it again soon.
belgand
+0 -0
I do not like it. I do not like "feel good" type films. I do not like Jimmy Stewart and I do not like Frank Capra. It is basically worst-ever movie for me. This is not entirely true, but I have very strong negative feelings about it.
I do not like it. I do not like "feel good" type films. I do not like Jimmy Stewart and I do not like Frank Capra. It is basically worst-ever movie for me. This is not entirely true, but I have very strong negative feelings about it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the charleston into the pool!
also the line, "out you two pixies go - through the door, or out the window."
classic!
the charleston into the pool!
also the line, "out you two pixies go - through the door, or out the window."
classic!
zapatos
+0 -0
I do agree that Bill Murray is awesome.
I do agree that Bill Murray is awesome.
belgand
+0 -0
Yes, but it's not nearly as college-freshman snarky and insolent.
I also tend to hear more people saying "Giftmas" when they're trying to impugn the holiday as being overly commercial.
Yes, but it's not nearly as college-freshman snarky and insolent.
I also tend to hear more people saying "Giftmas" when they're trying to impugn the holiday as being overly commercial.
belgand
+0 -0
You better tell me you skipped Squidmas on accident.
Io, Saturnalia!
You better tell me you skipped Squidmas on accident.
Io, Saturnalia!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I googled it.
Please explain sir.
I googled it.
Please explain sir.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You think the world didn't have festivals before Christmas? It totally co-opted the pagan feasts of solstice celebration, which was a very big deal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule
You think the world didn't have festivals before Christmas? It totally co-opted the pagan feasts of solstice celebration, which was a very big deal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I knew that, I'm not ENTIRELY retarded, but what does that have to do with Squidmas?
I knew that, I'm not ENTIRELY retarded, but what does that have to do with Squidmas?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I'd say since he is biologist and part-time Liebot, he made it up to have something to do with 8 days, although I don't know that squids have 8...things. Your popular culture perhaps has Mario Beavis and Pokemon reference I do not understand.
Howayyver.
I'd say since he is biologist and part-time Liebot, he made it up to have something to do with 8 days, although I don't know that squids have 8...things. Your popular culture perhaps has Mario Beavis and Pokemon reference I do not understand.
Howayyver.
belgand
+0 -0
No, Squidmas is a real thing. I've been trying to track it down on Google and such since I heard about it a few weeks ago. It seems like it has something to do vaguely with Cthulhu and it's made it big on the Internet as the new atheist term for a holiday that takes place on Dec. 24 where you get gifts.
I think I said it elsewhere, but I'm not yet up on exactly what the deal is. People keep saying it, but I can't find the point of origin or any explanation as to what exactly it is.
Saturnalia is not related, but I wanted to include another holiday you skipped that was important to me. I was in Latin club in high school and I still have a lot of residual effects from that. A lot of my current non-local friends (and girlfriend) were also in it so it's been reinforced over the years.
Also, Saturnalia was wicked-awesome.
No, Squidmas is a real thing. I've been trying to track it down on Google and such since I heard about it a few weeks ago. It seems like it has something to do vaguely with Cthulhu and it's made it big on the Internet as the new atheist term for a holiday that takes place on Dec. 24 where you get gifts.
I think I said it elsewhere, but I'm not yet up on exactly what the deal is. People keep saying it, but I can't find the point of origin or any explanation as to what exactly it is.
Saturnalia is not related, but I wanted to include another holiday you skipped that was important to me. I was in Latin club in high school and I still have a lot of residual effects from that. A lot of my current non-local friends (and girlfriend) were also in it so it's been reinforced over the years.
Also, Saturnalia was wicked-awesome.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You totally would be in Latin club.
You totally would be in Latin club.
belgand
+0 -0
Eh, it was basically a main thing of the geeks I went to school with. The Latin teacher was also pretty awesome. We rarely did any actual things relating to the language and getting better at it so much as more cultural things.
Besides, as I said, I met the girl I've been dating for the past eight, close to nine years as a result. You can't say anything about it to make me feel like a loser.
Eh, it was basically a main thing of the geeks I went to school with. The Latin teacher was also pretty awesome. We rarely did any actual things relating to the language and getting better at it so much as more cultural things.
Besides, as I said, I met the girl I've been dating for the past eight, close to nine years as a result. You can't say anything about it to make me feel like a loser.
biff
+0 -0
We know you are only partially retarded, but we thought from your comment that this might have been one of the retarded parts.
Sorry.
We know you are only partially retarded, but we thought from your comment that this might have been one of the retarded parts.
Sorry.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
damn well better be.
damn well better be.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Happy Feast of Alvis! Drinking and Revenge!
Happy Feast of Alvis! Drinking and Revenge!
belgand
+0 -0
He's just a Kreb trying to get some of our bourbon. GET HIM!
He's just a Kreb trying to get some of our bourbon. GET HIM!
zapatos
+0 -0
Why don't we just share?
then when he passes out we mug him
Why don't we just share?
then when he passes out we mug him
zapatos
+0 -0
Happy Giftmas my friend, may you experience some sort of pleasure within the next three months.
Happy Giftmas my friend, may you experience some sort of pleasure within the next three months.
tarps
+0 -0
There are two languages contained within this strip and neither of them are English.
There are two languages contained within this strip and neither of them are English.
deovalente
+0 -0
I'm just commenting so people will comment on my icon. Seems to be the popular thing to do with Vlad strips.
I'm just commenting so people will comment on my icon. Seems to be the popular thing to do with Vlad strips.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HEY IT'S A COMMIE.
HI COMMIE.
HEY IT'S A COMMIE.
HI COMMIE.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Your avicon is a red herring
Your avicon is a red herring
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No that's a hammer and sickle.
[IMGS OFF]
This is a red herring.
No that's a hammer and sickle.
[IMGS OFF]
This is a red herring.
robbie17m
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
dude reminds me of Open Face.
dude reminds me of Open Face.
sje46
+0 -0
Do you guys love me?
Do you guys love me?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
yes.
yes.
tekende
+0 -0
Meh.
Meh.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
My feelings on this asset are WORST. COMMENT. EVER.
My feelings on this asset are WORST. COMMENT. EVER.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You know what else? He replies the Czech guy who explained some of the terminology the other day- that he is "smiling at him".
With that avicon.
If he said that to a Czech on the street wearing a Soviet style thing, he might get his lights punched out and never know why. But he'd know afterward.
You know what else? He replies the Czech guy who explained some of the terminology the other day- that he is "smiling at him".
With that avicon.
If he said that to a Czech on the street wearing a Soviet style thing, he might get his lights punched out and never know why. But he'd know afterward.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What?
What?
tekende
+0 -0
Are you talking about me, theguitarhero, or sje? Also, what the hell did you just say? That whole comment didn't seem to mean anything at all.
Are you talking about me, theguitarhero, or sje? Also, what the hell did you just say? That whole comment didn't seem to mean anything at all.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
He's talking about deovalente, the guy with the hammer/sickle avatar.
He's talking about deovalente, the guy with the hammer/sickle avatar.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oy. About the guy with the Soviet avaticon and smarmy attitude. Not your smarm, not hedonismbot's marm.
Do a search on him in the thread and you find his earlier post I'm referring to, which in turn refers to another guy, the Czech, in a way I thought was dipshittish. You are knowink this term, Okie?
Basically, I doubt he intended offense with stupid avaticon, but it was retarded all the same.
Does that make any more sense? Doesn't seem to.
Sheesh. Too much work. I should have just let it pass.
Oy. About the guy with the Soviet avaticon and smarmy attitude. Not your smarm, not hedonismbot's marm.
Do a search on him in the thread and you find his earlier post I'm referring to, which in turn refers to another guy, the Czech, in a way I thought was dipshittish. You are knowink this term, Okie?
Basically, I doubt he intended offense with stupid avaticon, but it was retarded all the same.
Does that make any more sense? Doesn't seem to.
Sheesh. Too much work. I should have just let it pass.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think you replied to the wrong comment though. There's no reason for your comment to be where it is, since that guy is nowhere in this thread.
Also, I cannot even find the comment you're referring to.
I think you replied to the wrong comment though. There's no reason for your comment to be where it is, since that guy is nowhere in this thread.
Also, I cannot even find the comment you're referring to.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I think it was right placement, even if obscure. I may be gettink my senile on, but not here, not now.
Howwayver, you are now makink me very sorry I am commenting this drivel and annotatink with more drivel.
My comment, it was referencing tekende's 'meh' of the guy and indirectly also tgh's ditto of that 'meh' with my own ditto of both of them.
This was a direct 'meh' by tekende, not implied according to assetbarrista. Therefore the hearsay motion is overruled.
I rest my case with this, also note the assetbarrista redirect of his comment.
Quote:
If you need Belgand for further parsing, I have him on retainer. Fwiw, I had originally intended to comment directly to that "smiling" comment with some snark about smiling Soviet tanks whenever he posted it.....then deleted that.
I think it was right placement, even if obscure. I may be gettink my senile on, but not here, not now.
Howwayver, you are now makink me very sorry I am commenting this drivel and annotatink with more drivel.
My comment, it was referencing tekende's 'meh' of the guy and indirectly also tgh's ditto of that 'meh' with my own ditto of both of them.
This was a direct 'meh' by tekende, not implied according to assetbarrista. Therefore the hearsay motion is overruled.
I rest my case with this, also note the assetbarrista redirect of his comment.
Quote:
You should just end every comment with "I am Czech." I'd smile.
If you need Belgand for further parsing, I have him on retainer. Fwiw, I had originally intended to comment directly to that "smiling" comment with some snark about smiling Soviet tanks whenever he posted it.....then deleted that.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
WAIT UNTIL I GET GOING.
[IMGS OFF]
WAIT UNTIL I GET GOING.
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+1 -0
INCONCEIVABLE
INCONCEIVABLE
anticitizen
+0 -0
I don't think dat means what you think dat means.
I don't think dat means what you think dat means.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Princess Bride is easily one of my favorite movies of youth, right up there with The Sandlot and it easily surpasses Neverending Story as far as fantasy movies from that time period go.
I think every film adaptation of a novel should feature characters actually reading the book.
Speaking of books and fantasy movies, The Pagemaster.
Princess Bride is easily one of my favorite movies of youth, right up there with The Sandlot and it easily surpasses Neverending Story as far as fantasy movies from that time period go.
I think every film adaptation of a novel should feature characters actually reading the book.
Speaking of books and fantasy movies, The Pagemaster.
belgand
+0 -0
The Sandlot?!?!?
The Sandlot?!?!?
sje46
+0 -0
The Sandlot is a pretty good movie.
The Sandlot is a pretty good movie.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
you kind of have to be a certain age to enjoy The Sandlot and also have spent alot of time in summer day camps.
you kind of have to be a certain age to enjoy The Sandlot and also have spent alot of time in summer day camps.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
THE PAGEMASTER IS AWESOME .
i wish i could give you two chubs for this mention.
one of my friends is turning into "Bertram [who] got into "The '60s," and no one ever saw him again."
THE PAGEMASTER IS AWESOME .
i wish i could give you two chubs for this mention.
one of my friends is turning into "Bertram [who] got into "The '60s," and no one ever saw him again."
mattylite
+0 -0
One time I rented My Dinner with Andre, and instead of for real paying attention to the dialog, I just kept my thumb on the pause button waiting for him to say it, and he did, and then I watched that little bit over and over until it annoyed my then-girlfriend too much.
One time I rented My Dinner with Andre, and instead of for real paying attention to the dialog, I just kept my thumb on the pause button waiting for him to say it, and he did, and then I watched that little bit over and over until it annoyed my then-girlfriend too much.
belgand
+0 -0
I for real paid attention to the dialogue and really enjoyed it.
*pushes "Tell me more!"*
I for real paid attention to the dialogue and really enjoyed it.
*pushes "Tell me more!"*
tekende
+0 -0
Oh. That comment. I really didn't give it nearly as much thought as you did, apparently.
Oh. That comment. I really didn't give it nearly as much thought as you did, apparently.
belgand
+0 -0
I am not speaking only in the Czech. I am just speaking what was spoken in the home of mine. I don't know Italian, my parents, they speak only... how you say "broken English"?
I am not speaking only in the Czech. I am just speaking what was spoken in the home of mine. I don't know Italian, my parents, they speak only... how you say "broken English"?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Tekende's 'meh' was at Sje's post "Do you guys love me?" So this whole discussion has situated itself in a thread that started with Sje's comment, not Deovalente's.
Proper threading is very important to me.
Tekende's 'meh' was at Sje's post "Do you guys love me?" So this whole discussion has situated itself in a thread that started with Sje's comment, not Deovalente's.
Proper threading is very important to me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Ahh...... then there is a bug in assetbarrista that default points arbitrarily to some post random distance above or below a post that is ignored if that post was the actual original re: value.
I thought Tekende's 'meh' was at Deovalente's post because that is what assetbarrista runs to in my browser. Consistently.
Proper threading is key to good health and balance in universe.
You have, by diligent nagging, found out this bug.
I refuse to look foolish or say "I am the guy who sucks" at this point in time.
Ahh...... then there is a bug in assetbarrista that default points arbitrarily to some post random distance above or below a post that is ignored if that post was the actual original re: value.
I thought Tekende's 'meh' was at Deovalente's post because that is what assetbarrista runs to in my browser. Consistently.
Proper threading is key to good health and balance in universe.
You have, by diligent nagging, found out this bug.
I refuse to look foolish or say "I am the guy who sucks" at this point in time.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Will your office be issuing a statement later in the day?
Will your office be issuing a statement later in the day?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
No further questions at this point in time, please. It will come out in due time through the proper channels that I was not a crook, nor did I have any knowledge of that woman .
No further questions at this point in time, please. It will come out in due time through the proper channels that I was not a crook, nor did I have any knowledge of that woman .
sje46
+0 -0
YAY YOU GUYS LOVE ME!!!!
<3
YAY YOU GUYS LOVE ME!!!!
<3
redphillip
+0 -0
Yes, we do, in whatever persona you present.
Yes, we do, in whatever persona you present.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well, check this out. I try same re: link on different computer usink assetbarrista and same browser and it goes to proper linkingk even if ignored. Every time.
Is not necessarily assetbarrista bug.
I may be guy who sucks after all, or may be guy who needs to reinstall desktop. Is strange.
wait, no. I do not suck. [b] Is Microsoft! Dap! [/b\
Well, check this out. I try same re: link on different computer usink assetbarrista and same browser and it goes to proper linkingk even if ignored. Every time.
Is not necessarily assetbarrista bug.
I may be guy who sucks after all, or may be guy who needs to reinstall desktop. Is strange.
wait, no. I do not suck. [b] Is Microsoft! Dap! [/b\
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
fuck and sinkme, I do not suck at bbcode. That was not what I typed:
wait, no. I do not suck. Is Microsoft! Motherfucking shit Microsoft who fucks with chars also! Dap!
fuck and sinkme, I do not suck at bbcode. That was not what I typed:
wait, no. I do not suck. Is Microsoft! Motherfucking shit Microsoft who fucks with chars also! Dap!
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, ignored posts tend to cluster below things that are responses to them. It's a bit odd.
Yeah, ignored posts tend to cluster below things that are responses to them. It's a bit odd.
stereo
+0 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+2 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
sje46
+0 -0
Awesome!
I was under the impression that you didn't. :(
Awesome!
I was under the impression that you didn't. :(
zapatos
+0 -0
No, I am mostly impartial.
No, I am mostly impartial.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
SJE
LOVE HIM
WHAT A WONDERFUL THING TO HAVE/BE
SJE
LOVE HIM
WHAT A WONDERFUL THING TO HAVE/BE
theguitarhero
+0 -0
SJE
LOVE HIM
FIVE
SJE
LOVE HIM
FIVE
sje46
+0 -0
(!!!)
(!!!)
biff
+1 -0
Yes, but we are going to use a condom anyway.
Yes, but we are going to use a condom anyway.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
belgand
+0 -0
I've gotta know right now.
I've gotta know right now.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm waiting outside to show you just how much I love you. Please come out.
I'm waiting outside to show you just how much I love you. Please come out.
zapatos
+0 -0
I brought lilies.
I brought lilies.
qingofchina
+2 -0
"Man why you even got to do a thing," seems to be Onstad's post rate.
"Man why you even got to do a thing," seems to be Onstad's post rate.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Did Onstad pass out on the Bar-B-King again?
Did Onstad pass out on the Bar-B-King again?
wonelove
+0 -0
After playing GTA IV I always imagine Vlad's voice sounding something like Niko's.
After playing GTA IV I always imagine Vlad's voice sounding something like Niko's.
sje46
+0 -0
Me too.
Me too.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah, i could see that.
yeah, i could see that.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i still haven't finished that game. i just got to the funeral...which you just KNEW was going to happen at that wedding that you weren't sure was.
i was super bummed. i didn't want to have to start dating new people.
(but i did just finish Halo 3 last night and forgot about the epilogue until it came up. thanks, Heroic difficulty!)
i still haven't finished that game. i just got to the funeral...which you just KNEW was going to happen at that wedding that you weren't sure was.
i was super bummed. i didn't want to have to start dating new people.
(but i did just finish Halo 3 last night and forgot about the epilogue until it came up. thanks, Heroic difficulty!)
sje46
+0 -0
I haven't gotten past the second date in GTA4.
I haven't gotten past the second date in GTA4.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I haven't gotten past the second date in Real Life.
I haven't gotten past the second date in Real Life.
sje46
+0 -0
I haven't gotten to the first date in real life.
I haven't gotten to the first date in real life.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
YOU WIN
YOU WIN
achilleselbow
+0 -0
(but not at life)
(but not at life)
zapatos
+0 -0
YOU WING at losing
YOU WING at losing
sje46
+0 -0
=[
=[
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Aw it's ok little buddy. I didn't have a girlfriend for more than a week until college, and the one that lasted a week cheated on me...
Aw it's ok little buddy. I didn't have a girlfriend for more than a week until college, and the one that lasted a week cheated on me...
sje46
+0 -0
Don't worry about me and my frowny faces.
Also, you're not helping by telling me that you have had girlfriends before college. That is not a way to cheer me up. A better way is to say you have never had a girlfriend.
Don't worry about me and my frowny faces.
Also, you're not helping by telling me that you have had girlfriends before college. That is not a way to cheer me up. A better way is to say you have never had a girlfriend.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I DON'T EVEN LIKE GIRLS THEY HAVE COOTIES BLECH.
What i was trying to say was that you shouldn't want to rush into it. i only actually dated two girls in high school, both of them senior year and I never actually got to know them i just wanted a girlfriend. who am I with now is someone i actually took the time to get to know, granted it was over a couple days before I was like HOLY SHIT THIS IS AN AWESOME GIRL but still, I took the time.
In summary IT'LL HAPPEN FOR YOU DO NOT RUSH IT OR YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE GIRLS THEY HAVE COOTIES BLECH.
What i was trying to say was that you shouldn't want to rush into it. i only actually dated two girls in high school, both of them senior year and I never actually got to know them i just wanted a girlfriend. who am I with now is someone i actually took the time to get to know, granted it was over a couple days before I was like HOLY SHIT THIS IS AN AWESOME GIRL but still, I took the time.
In summary IT'LL HAPPEN FOR YOU DO NOT RUSH IT OR YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF.
sje46
+0 -0
=/
Thanks.
=/
Thanks.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sorry i guess that wasn't much reassuring, that usually works when the dude is younger but you are not younger.
Sorry i guess that wasn't much reassuring, that usually works when the dude is younger but you are not younger.
sje46
+0 -0
Don't worry about me.
Thanks though.
Don't worry about me.
Thanks though.
redphillip
+1 -0
If it helps, sje, I have never had a girlfriend either.
If it helps, sje, I have never had a girlfriend either.
sje46
+0 -0
I hope that's not true . . .
I hope that's not true . . .
redphillip
+0 -0
It is. But then again I've never wanted one. I have had boyfriends. But I thought perhaps you would feel better thinking that someone else hadn't had a girlfriend. I see now that it was an error to think that the fact that I, in my mid-50's, have never had a girlfriend would be at all reassuring for a young man. Fool that I am, I apologize.
It is. But then again I've never wanted one. I have had boyfriends. But I thought perhaps you would feel better thinking that someone else hadn't had a girlfriend. I see now that it was an error to think that the fact that I, in my mid-50's, have never had a girlfriend would be at all reassuring for a young man. Fool that I am, I apologize.
zapatos
+0 -0
lol get it, because RedPhillip is a homosexual man!
lol get it, because RedPhillip is a homosexual man!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I should have spoke up earlier to save SJE the embarrassment of realizing his mentor was a homosexual and not just incredibly lonely.
I should have spoke up earlier to save SJE the embarrassment of realizing his mentor was a homosexual and not just incredibly lonely.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think Episode 1 would have been better if Qui-Gonn Jinn turned out to be gay and not dead.
I think Episode 1 would have been better if Qui-Gonn Jinn turned out to be gay and not dead.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's kind of an assy thing to write, if you think about it. RedPhillip stated or at least implied he's gay several times. It's hardly a secret.
That's kind of an assy thing to write, if you think about it. RedPhillip stated or at least implied he's gay several times. It's hardly a secret.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I was meaning more like SJE wouldn't have to embarass himself but not putting two and two together, I knew that redphillip was gay and figured everyone knew.
I was meaning more like SJE wouldn't have to embarass himself but not putting two and two together, I knew that redphillip was gay and figured everyone knew.
sje46
+0 -0
I am not really embarrassed at all that I didn't know he is gay.
I am not really embarrassed at all that I didn't know he is gay.
belgand
+0 -0
I think we should have waited and Redphillip could have shown SJE how much fun can be had without having girlfriends. I say... a moderately-sized valise in this case. Don't want to overly frighten the young one, but you want to give him a good taste of the breadth of experiences available.
Sizzle that boy!
I think we should have waited and Redphillip could have shown SJE how much fun can be had without having girlfriends. I say... a moderately-sized valise in this case. Don't want to overly frighten the young one, but you want to give him a good taste of the breadth of experiences available.
Sizzle that boy!
sje46
+0 -0
Okay.
Okay.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
...assy nipples?
...assy nipples?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Someone needs to Pay Attention.
Someone needs to Pay Attention.
sje46
+0 -0
Really, how often does he mention it?
Really, how often does he mention it?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Just about all the time.
Just about all the time.
sje46
+0 -0
Well, eff. I guess I don't pay attention.
Is Stereo still a woman, by the way?
Well, eff. I guess I don't pay attention.
Is Stereo still a woman, by the way?
stereo
+0 -0
I can be whatever you want me to be.
I can be whatever you want me to be.
sje46
+0 -0
Kinky?
Kinky?
stereo
+0 -0
If you like.
If you like.
belgand
+0 -0
Dickgirl.
Dickgirl.
stereo
+0 -0
If you like.
If you like.
belgand
+0 -0
If you can pull that off in full hentai fashion all penis coming out of the vagina when it's convenient then, well, I'd like to see that just because I think you're trying to feed me a porkie!
If you can pull that off in full hentai fashion all penis coming out of the vagina when it's convenient then, well, I'd like to see that just because I think you're trying to feed me a porkie!
stereo
+0 -0
It's the internet, I can do anything and be anything.
And I think the penis coming out of the vagina is some kind of parasite that infects everybody it has sex with, so they grow their own penis-parasite. Spread by lesbian contact, should not be licked at all costs.
It's the internet, I can do anything and be anything.
And I think the penis coming out of the vagina is some kind of parasite that infects everybody it has sex with, so they grow their own penis-parasite. Spread by lesbian contact, should not be licked at all costs.
zapatos
+0 -0
Seriously.
Not that its bad, just that its obvious.
Seriously.
Not that its bad, just that its obvious.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
what about Second Life?
what about Second Life?
belgand
+0 -0
I was waiting for the PC version because playing GTA on a console just seems... just crazy to me. The GTAIII series had such better control and graphics on PC. Now that it is finally out on PC, my PC is not working. Is time to be sad.
I was waiting for the PC version because playing GTA on a console just seems... just crazy to me. The GTAIII series had such better control and graphics on PC. Now that it is finally out on PC, my PC is not working. Is time to be sad.
belgand
+1 -0
Oh gods finally! Finally Assetbar is back! That was a scary couple of hours.
Oh gods finally! Finally Assetbar is back! That was a scary couple of hours.
qingofchina
+0 -0
I got all conceited and thought it was my fault.
I got all conceited and thought it was my fault.
sje46
+0 -0
Dude, you didn't have to deal with a power outage for half of the day, and then hours of no internet, and then the assetbar outtage. It has not been a good yesterday for me.
Dude, you didn't have to deal with a power outage for half of the day, and then hours of no internet, and then the assetbar outtage. It has not been a good yesterday for me.
pogo
+0 -0
I wondered why there weren't 2,000 inane posts yet. I know I'm doing my part!
I wondered why there weren't 2,000 inane posts yet. I know I'm doing my part!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh to make up for all the lost time...
oh to make up for all the lost time...
baryonyx
+0 -1
Modern age = the last 3000 years.
(Vlad was built a long time ago.)
Modern age = the last 3000 years.
(Vlad was built a long time ago.)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What?
What?
baryonyx
+0 -0
Oh nothing. Just observing that Vlad's 'modern age' is 'as of the invention of Law'.
Oh nothing. Just observing that Vlad's 'modern age' is 'as of the invention of Law'.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh ok.
Oh ok.
telescreen
+0 -0
This may have no relevance whatsoever, but Stellas? They are hella crispy but not much more. A boring beer that I bought based on a webcomic. Good thing it was on sale.
This may have no relevance whatsoever, but Stellas? They are hella crispy but not much more. A boring beer that I bought based on a webcomic. Good thing it was on sale.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Worst drink I ever bought on sale was halloween edition jones soda, it was candy corn, HOLY SHIT IT WAS HORRIBLE.
Basically if it is a holiday do not buy jones soda.
Worst drink I ever bought on sale was halloween edition jones soda, it was candy corn, HOLY SHIT IT WAS HORRIBLE.
Basically if it is a holiday do not buy jones soda.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Has anyone here had their Turkey & Gravy flavored soda? I demand to know what it tastes like.
Has anyone here had their Turkey & Gravy flavored soda? I demand to know what it tastes like.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Um...I'm gonna take a wild guess and say turkey and gravy?
I think they did a taste test of it in the AV Club last year around Thanksgiving.
Um...I'm gonna take a wild guess and say turkey and gravy?
I think they did a taste test of it in the AV Club last year around Thanksgiving.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
they did.
they did.
telescreen
+0 -0
After three of them, my opinion is changing. Soon someone will have to take my Assetbar away from me.
After three of them, my opinion is changing. Soon someone will have to take my Assetbar away from me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
But how do you feel about the police?
But how do you feel about the police?
telescreen
+0 -0
Uh...I feel pretty good about Stings band, not quite as good about the people with guns.
I do not understand your comment.
Uh...I feel pretty good about Stings band, not quite as good about the people with guns.
I do not understand your comment.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You have much to learn.
You have much to learn.
telescreen
+0 -0
Stella Artois is not designed to make you not afraid of the cops. In my defense, I tend to forget some of those early Achewoods because they don't make any sense in continuity nowadays. Cornelius would not say such a thing.
Stella Artois is not designed to make you not afraid of the cops. In my defense, I tend to forget some of those early Achewoods because they don't make any sense in continuity nowadays. Cornelius would not say such a thing.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
you put enough tequila in someone you can make them commit treason, is not impossible to be imaginink old bear not beink afraid of police in today.
you put enough tequila in someone you can make them commit treason, is not impossible to be imaginink old bear not beink afraid of police in today.
rowboat
+0 -0
I think Stellas are intensely temperamental and kind of easy to fuck up. I don't get 'em often (if I'm gonna splurge it's probably gonna be on a nice dunkel or a decent pale ale), but when I do I never really know what's in store for me. I mean, in bottles it's pretty consistently above average, but the last time I ordered one at a restaurant I was convinced that they had given me a High Life or something instead. Not that I have a problem with H.L., but it's a lot cheaper than Stella.
In the end, they're usually pretty good. Just not as nice as Ray would have us believe.
I think Stellas are intensely temperamental and kind of easy to fuck up. I don't get 'em often (if I'm gonna splurge it's probably gonna be on a nice dunkel or a decent pale ale), but when I do I never really know what's in store for me. I mean, in bottles it's pretty consistently above average, but the last time I ordered one at a restaurant I was convinced that they had given me a High Life or something instead. Not that I have a problem with H.L., but it's a lot cheaper than Stella.
In the end, they're usually pretty good. Just not as nice as Ray would have us believe.
telescreen
+0 -0
I agree heartily. I just bought the Trader Joe's Vintage ale for 2008 and it was dirt cheap for a 750ml bottle and kills Stella in so many ways. But if offered, I think I'd always accept.
I agree heartily. I just bought the Trader Joe's Vintage ale for 2008 and it was dirt cheap for a 750ml bottle and kills Stella in so many ways. But if offered, I think I'd always accept.
belgand
+0 -0
They seem to be fairly popular in the Bay Area. Whenever I'm out at a place you will almost never, ever see the main domestic beers (Budweiser, Miller, etc.) available as you do in other places I have lived. Typically you'll see Stella, Anchor Steam (since it's brewed in town), Sierra Nevada and a few others such as Red Hook, Peroni, or Amstel making common appearances.
They seem to be fairly popular in the Bay Area. Whenever I'm out at a place you will almost never, ever see the main domestic beers (Budweiser, Miller, etc.) available as you do in other places I have lived. Typically you'll see Stella, Anchor Steam (since it's brewed in town), Sierra Nevada and a few others such as Red Hook, Peroni, or Amstel making common appearances.
telescreen
+0 -0
Sierra Nevada Amber Ale...now that's Hella Crispy.
Sierra Nevada Amber Ale...now that's Hella Crispy.
belgand
+0 -0
Hella Crispies were briefly test-marketed in Milpitas to positive results, but failed to catch on with the general population and were unable to displace Wicked Crispies from the majority of breakfast tables.
Hella Crispies were briefly test-marketed in Milpitas to positive results, but failed to catch on with the general population and were unable to displace Wicked Crispies from the majority of breakfast tables.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Please tell me that's not going to be some bimbo starlet's made-up name.
Please tell me that's not going to be some bimbo starlet's made-up name.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Amber Ale or Sierra Nevada?
Amber Ale or Sierra Nevada?
morbo
+0 -0
anyone find a franco-bedouin youtube?
anyone find a franco-bedouin youtube?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Nope. Maybe I should look harder though.
Nope. Maybe I should look harder though.
sje46
+0 -0
I couldn't find it.
I couldn't find it.
pogo
+0 -0
We put up the tree, my fiancee and me, a new crossbreed of Fraiser and the other fir, called Canaan. Very soft needles, lighter green. I'm officially in the holiday spirit.
We put up the tree, my fiancee and me, a new crossbreed of Fraiser and the other fir, called Canaan. Very soft needles, lighter green. I'm officially in the holiday spirit.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm not though it is tough to get in the Christmas spirit when it is 70 degrees fairly consistently and there is no snow and you hate your family and I want to be with your girlfriend...
I'm not though it is tough to get in the Christmas spirit when it is 70 degrees fairly consistently and there is no snow and you hate your family and I want to be with your girlfriend...
tekende
+0 -0
You want to be with pogo's girlfriend?
You want to be with pogo's girlfriend?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
shit i did not realize the POV change.
that sentence should read "and you want to be with your girlfriend" I do not want to be with pogo's girlfriend.
shit i did not realize the POV change.
that sentence should read "and you want to be with your girlfriend" I do not want to be with pogo's girlfriend.
stereo
+0 -0
Don't be so quick to judge, she's probably someone special.
Don't be so quick to judge, she's probably someone special.
sje46
+0 -0
I bet she makes a mean cup of cocoa.
I bet she makes a mean cup of cocoa.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I would hit it with Pogo OR his girlfriend
I would hit it with Pogo OR his girlfriend
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You'd hit the Christmas tree? This is getting weird.
PINE NEEDLES.
LOVE 'EM.
You'd hit the Christmas tree? This is getting weird.
PINE NEEDLES.
LOVE 'EM.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
SAPPY.
SAPPY.
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
That she is, thanks stereo. I'm tempted to post a picture so you could all ooh and ahh, but she likes her privacy. Suffice it to say she does not look or act her age, and of course, neither do I.
Quote:
she's probably someone special
That she is, thanks stereo. I'm tempted to post a picture so you could all ooh and ahh, but she likes her privacy. Suffice it to say she does not look or act her age, and of course, neither do I.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I always kind of imagined you with a girl at least 20 years your junior, so am I right or did you pick a woman of a more appropriate age?
I always kind of imagined you with a girl at least 20 years your junior, so am I right or did you pick a woman of a more appropriate age?
wozzeck
+0 -0
Nineteen is always an appropriate age for a lady.
Nineteen is always an appropriate age for a lady.
stereo
+0 -0
And yet nineteen is not what it says on her drivers license
And yet nineteen is not what it says on her drivers license
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Great, but I'm on my lunch hour now and I'll never be first!
Quote:
So sayeth Onstad: I am finally home from touring and have a lovely strip going for you Monday afternoon
Great, but I'm on my lunch hour now and I'll never be first!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dammit I need to get my paycheck because supposedly we got our Christmas bonuses, I have to be at work in 3 hours AND NOW THIS.
Dammit I need to get my paycheck because supposedly we got our Christmas bonuses, I have to be at work in 3 hours AND NOW THIS.
zapatos
+0 -0
I MADE AN EXTRA SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!
I MADE AN EXTRA SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
MY PAYCHECK WAS 90 FUCKING DOLLARS. I DIDN'T EVEN GET A BONUS.
NOT WORTH IT.
FUCK YOU GROCERY STORE.
MY PAYCHECK WAS 90 FUCKING DOLLARS. I DIDN'T EVEN GET A BONUS.
NOT WORTH IT.
FUCK YOU GROCERY STORE.
zapatos
+0 -0
Dude, ninety bucks is better than zero dollars.
Dude, ninety bucks is better than zero dollars.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Not when you still need to shop for Christmas gifts.
Not when you still need to shop for Christmas gifts.
zapatos
+0 -0
so you'd rather have zero dollars.
so you'd rather have zero dollars.
zapatos
+0 -0
Well it is only 11:40 in Achewood time (we have the same clock) so afternoon is coming.
I'm sorry you wont be able to win the prize Pogo.
Well it is only 11:40 in Achewood time (we have the same clock) so afternoon is coming.
I'm sorry you wont be able to win the prize Pogo.
tekende
+3 -0
But haven't we learned by now, "Monday afternoon" probably means "Tuesday evening" or even "Friday morning."
But haven't we learned by now, "Monday afternoon" probably means "Tuesday evening" or even "Friday morning."
howl
+0 -0
Probably. It is now twenty minutes to six, which is officially Past Afternoon.
Probably. It is now twenty minutes to six, which is officially Past Afternoon.
zapatos
+0 -0
Well there it is.
I wonder how many people are going to complain about it... Three already!
Well there it is.
I wonder how many people are going to complain about it... Three already!
robbie17m
+0 -0
Did anyone notice the "pump skitters" in the Roast Beef blog? If that's not the most gruesome image ever conjured by a typo I don't know what is...
Did anyone notice the "pump skitters" in the Roast Beef blog? If that's not the most gruesome image ever conjured by a typo I don't know what is...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
How do you know it is a typo?
How do you know it is a typo?
robbie17m
+0 -0
Based on the context I figured it was supposed to be "pimp skitters." Unless, of course, this is Mr. Onstad's way of subtly introducing a new variety of skitters.
Based on the context I figured it was supposed to be "pimp skitters." Unless, of course, this is Mr. Onstad's way of subtly introducing a new variety of skitters.
meddle
+1 -0
Guys remember when Achewood was a comic you could read during and throughout the week and it was pretty consistently entertaining and brightened your day and stuff? That was pretty sweet. I kinda miss that.
Guys remember when Achewood was a comic you could read during and throughout the week and it was pretty consistently entertaining and brightened your day and stuff? That was pretty sweet. I kinda miss that.
zapatos
+0 -0
Just get really drunk and read through the archives.
Or do what I do, and feel terrible.
Just get really drunk and read through the archives.
Or do what I do, and feel terrible.
stereo
+0 -0
Try what I did, only $10k.
Try what I did, only $10k.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
up front.
up front.
vollstiques
+0 -0
Oh, Smulesk. How I yearn for your terraces.
This arc is coming out of nowhere but I do enjoy the Vlad-Ray interaction. This arc can only end with a sex-fest with these two.
Are you saying that this arc can only end with Ray and Vlad having intercourse with each other? Because I'm not sure that follows.
A comment left by sweetlips was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by crawfomp, sneechles, deovalente, SurelySmack)
Just so you know, VladxRay is *exactly* how I read your first post on the subject.
I was disturbed.
oh my god. must. resist. fanfiction.
Always a good lesson.
It is a good lesson, but tough where I come from.
the mean streets where a gal is judged by her fanfic, there & only there can such a girl find true justice.
It is a hard life, but a true and honest one.
"Fanfiction has many faces. Darkness has many allies. But there is only one who punishes them all."
"Fanfiction has many faces. Darkness has many allies. But there is only one who punishes them all."
Apparently there are two.
Damn my webs.
In any event, all this talk made me skim the wikipedia entry for Fanfiction, and it made me throw up a little.
Quote:
There is fanfiction of that.
Are you from... circumstances?
Where's manflesh when you need him?
Having a big sexy weekend.
What's he up to besides having a big, sexy weekend.
Some things in life are understood.
Sobbing?
Throbbing?
He's also having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, having a sexy weekend, etc.
Good, someone else knows what I'm talking about. The image wasn't that big a deal, but having to close my browser because he posted it like 500 times in a row was.
I remember what you are talking about, and I hated it too.
In Manflesh's world, even Wednesday can be a sexy weekend.
My manflesh is where it belongs, and where it will stay
He is sitting on top of the mountain waiting for enlightenment.
It will be sexy enlightenment. With Spock ears.
I do not like this type of enlightenment. It grows fat and neurotic with alarming speed.
ray/vlad
Thanks, buddy!
i think a man on this planet has the incredible deranged genius that would be required to harness the sheer verbal and graphic ridiculousness involved in a vladxray fanfic.
DON'T think DON'T think, why can't i delete these fucking things?
Are you happy? Your slip up has doomed us all!
Many fans are a bit too eager to make some fan fiction
https://twitter.com/vladpuf
Yeah I'm kind of embarrased that I just figured out this wasn't Onstad. It continues:
https://twitter.com/LieBot
and continues even further https://www.twitter/todtsquirrel
it looks like they are all following the same people.
(this is because they are the same person)
i know this
woop make that www.twitter.com/toddtsquirrel
The Todd one has w-w-w-way too many stutters.
Vlad may be a humble robot, but he is a professional in the ways of love.
I say, let's wait and find out.
It doesn't seem to be going anywhere either.