saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ShemmJacc, sevenarts, kenthegod, fosters)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ShemmJacc, sevenarts, kenthegod, fosters)
anomalous3
+44 -0
If only one sentence could describe the reason for the mess we're in it's "We're all standing around wondering where our real dongs are"
If only one sentence could describe the reason for the mess we're in it's "We're all standing around wondering where our real dongs are"
closefriend
+10 -0
One of the view alts I know from memory: "This implies that the modern dong is vestigial."
One of the view alts I know from memory: "This implies that the modern dong is vestigial."
gormster
+8 -0
How did you get "view"? It's like, the V is kind of close to the F, but once you'd hit it, you thought "bugger it" and decided to use a whole different word?
How did you get "view"? It's like, the V is kind of close to the F, but once you'd hit it, you thought "bugger it" and decided to use a whole different word?
ganymedeio
+0 -0
Chubbied for the articulation of a peculiarity.
Chubbied for the articulation of a peculiarity.
ariamaki
+0 -0
Possibly he is implying that alt texts are, themselves, viewed, or that the text is attached to a photograph as opposed to a block of text (which can also have alt text, ex. Tycho newsposts).
Or maybe you are right and the dude stone-cold switched words.
Chubby for ya either way.
Possibly he is implying that alt texts are, themselves, viewed, or that the text is attached to a photograph as opposed to a block of text (which can also have alt text, ex. Tycho newsposts).
Or maybe you are right and the dude stone-cold switched words.
Chubby for ya either way.
hamscout
+11 -0
That alt text bothered me-
I don't think the strip implies the dong is vestigial, just that it has atrophied to it's current state.
To say the modern dong is vestigial is to imply that cavemen had a second, more prodigious dong in another forward-firing position on their bodies.
...walking around fully-erectus, all lookin' like a big hairy "F".
That alt text bothered me-
I don't think the strip implies the dong is vestigial, just that it has atrophied to it's current state.
To say the modern dong is vestigial is to imply that cavemen had a second, more prodigious dong in another forward-firing position on their bodies.
...walking around fully-erectus, all lookin' like a big hairy "F".
centipede_damascus
+0 -0
A comment left by centipede_damascus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tttt2, Connellingus, nutmeg)
A comment left by centipede_damascus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tttt2, Connellingus, nutmeg)
nathanielperson
+5 -0
Fun fact: humans have bigger dongs than any other primate, even gorillas. Don't know how cats stack up to tigers and such.
Fun fact: humans have bigger dongs than any other primate, even gorillas. Don't know how cats stack up to tigers and such.
madrin
+22 -0
apparently cats dongs are barbed though. i know for sure that my peter lacks barbs. is that a fun fact? are we both having fun? (the first fact, the second was creepy.)
apparently cats dongs are barbed though. i know for sure that my peter lacks barbs. is that a fun fact? are we both having fun? (the first fact, the second was creepy.)
jackparsons
+1 -0
Gorillas are like an inch. We have this crazy giant birth canal thing to fill up. Have you seen my real dong? Where the hell is it? And is it still tinfoil color?
Gorillas are like an inch. We have this crazy giant birth canal thing to fill up. Have you seen my real dong? Where the hell is it? And is it still tinfoil color?
bacter
+1 -0
However, with the exception of gorillas, we've got the smallest proportional balls.
However, with the exception of gorillas, we've got the smallest proportional balls.
soticoto
+37 -0
Male humans have bigger dongs and female humans have bigger chest-decor... and for pretty much the same reason that male deer have huge, unwieldy antlers and peacocks have huge, unwieldy tails:
Nothing quite says "I'm healthy" as walking around with something huge and unnecessarily cumbersome attached to you and still being totally fine with it .
It is nature's way of saying "I'm so damned awesome at this game I can play with a handicap and STILL beat you."
Male humans have bigger dongs and female humans have bigger chest-decor... and for pretty much the same reason that male deer have huge, unwieldy antlers and peacocks have huge, unwieldy tails:
Nothing quite says "I'm healthy" as walking around with something huge and unnecessarily cumbersome attached to you and still being totally fine with it .
It is nature's way of saying "I'm so damned awesome at this game I can play with a handicap and STILL beat you."
kochipoik
+1 -0
Yeah apparently a theory about women's breasts is that, because humans (being bipedal) have sex from the front, males need something to look at other than the ass to get them all rowdy about sex.
Yeah apparently a theory about women's breasts is that, because humans (being bipedal) have sex from the front, males need something to look at other than the ass to get them all rowdy about sex.
soticoto
+0 -0
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by zcross00, riotdejaneiro, Scorpio_nadir, Lumus, yingkaixing)
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by zcross00, riotdejaneiro, Scorpio_nadir, Lumus, yingkaixing)
tekende
+0 -0
If they're big enough, sure. Some girls, and I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all, have rather small breasts that would not function well at all as pillows.
If they're big enough, sure. Some girls, and I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all, have rather small breasts that would not function well at all as pillows.
soticoto
+0 -0
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, Lumus, logic)
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, Lumus, logic)
hamscout
+0 -0
Wouldn't it be from natural selection?
(Or, natural non-selection from the "itty bitty committee"?)
"Nature read in youth and bra..."
Wouldn't it be from natural selection?
(Or, natural non-selection from the "itty bitty committee"?)
"Nature read in youth and bra..."
ghoti
+4 -0
It's not natural selection, it's sexual selection.
"Read a book, read a book, read a motherfucking book...."
It's not natural selection, it's sexual selection.
"Read a book, read a book, read a motherfucking book...."
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Advances in cheap, widely-available surgical breast enhancement?
Advances in cheap, widely-available surgical breast enhancement?
akarroa
+1 -0
Hells no, man. any weight on those is pure pain. It is the female equivilant of getting cock-punched.
Hells no, man. any weight on those is pure pain. It is the female equivilant of getting cock-punched.
waldo913
+1 -0
I know what you're saying here, but speaking from experience, getting punched in the cock hurts way less than getting punched in the testicles.
I know what you're saying here, but speaking from experience, getting punched in the cock hurts way less than getting punched in the testicles.
jhunter
+20 -0
yeah cock-punching is not a threat. my John Thomas can take care of himself, he'd probably punch back. my testicles, on the other hand, are like wrinkly old men. they ain't looking for trouble.
yeah cock-punching is not a threat. my John Thomas can take care of himself, he'd probably punch back. my testicles, on the other hand, are like wrinkly old men. they ain't looking for trouble.
caseyb3
+29 -0
There are several reasons for this; I will list the most notable ones in descending order of scope and importance:
(a) It's a lot harder to be weeded out of the gene pool by being careless with your Beastie than by being careless with your boys;
(b) there's a much greater density of conventional sensory nerves (e.g. not ones specifically devoted to sexual pleasure, which function differently in all kinds of ways) than tactile pleasure receptors in the bait, whereas in the tackle the reverse is true;
(c) even when fully erect, the hammer has much, much less hard surface to press nerve-bound flesh into - and the means of production and the workers both have extensive innervation, whereas the Party's rich nerves have no counterpart in the Soviets;
(d) finally, puberty is a small Hell of unreasonably intense pain from trivial testicle disturbance, which is the main common factor between breast and testicle distress.
THE MORE YOU KNOW (R)
There are several reasons for this; I will list the most notable ones in descending order of scope and importance:
(a) It's a lot harder to be weeded out of the gene pool by being careless with your Beastie than by being careless with your boys;
(b) there's a much greater density of conventional sensory nerves (e.g. not ones specifically devoted to sexual pleasure, which function differently in all kinds of ways) than tactile pleasure receptors in the bait, whereas in the tackle the reverse is true;
(c) even when fully erect, the hammer has much, much less hard surface to press nerve-bound flesh into - and the means of production and the workers both have extensive innervation, whereas the Party's rich nerves have no counterpart in the Soviets;
(d) finally, puberty is a small Hell of unreasonably intense pain from trivial testicle disturbance, which is the main common factor between breast and testicle distress.
THE MORE YOU KNOW (R)
waldo913
+0 -0
Damn, that really is an awesome post.
Damn, that really is an awesome post.
tourach3
+0 -0
i think that's because we don't necessarily mate from behind, but i could be mistaken on this one
i think that's because we don't necessarily mate from behind, but i could be mistaken on this one
pogo
+0 -0
Your're right, amonog primates, humans are the only ones who are sexually active all the time (besides the Bonobo chimps) and we have the largest dongs in relation to our body size. I think it goes farther than that, and that humans have the largest dongs per body weight of any animal, but I may be huffing honey here. Sure sounds good.
Your're right, amonog primates, humans are the only ones who are sexually active all the time (besides the Bonobo chimps) and we have the largest dongs in relation to our body size. I think it goes farther than that, and that humans have the largest dongs per body weight of any animal, but I may be huffing honey here. Sure sounds good.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
pogo likes the idea of comparatively huge dongs. Rock on, pogo.
pogo likes the idea of comparatively huge dongs. Rock on, pogo.
st_elmos_fire
+0 -0
No, I'm quite sure we don't have the largest dongs per body weight of all animals. If you don't believe me Google image search duck penis and be prepared to have some nightmares.
I'm sad I looked this up, but hey, it's the internet
No, I'm quite sure we don't have the largest dongs per body weight of all animals. If you don't believe me Google image search duck penis and be prepared to have some nightmares.
I'm sad I looked this up, but hey, it's the internet
pogo
+0 -0
No thanks! Wish I had time to do more research.
No thanks! Wish I had time to do more research.
spinynorman
+0 -0
The barnacle has the largest genital-to-size ratio.
The barnacle has the largest genital-to-size ratio.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Blistering etc.
Blistering etc.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
THAT SHIT IS INSANE
THAT SHIT IS INSANE
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
The largest dong to body ratio belongs to the mighty banana slug .
Also, male iguanas have (are blessed) with 2 penises.
Advanced apologies if my BBcode has failed.
The largest dong to body ratio belongs to the mighty banana slug .
Also, male iguanas have (are blessed) with 2 penises.
Advanced apologies if my BBcode has failed.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Nope. Barnacle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnacle#Sexual_reproduction
Interestingly enough, I learned that fact from Tom Waits. Not in person, though.
Nope. Barnacle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnacle#Sexual_reproduction
Interestingly enough, I learned that fact from Tom Waits. Not in person, though.
haruspex
+2 -0
I do like the idea of Tom Waits going from house to house educating the public about the relative size of animal dongs.
I do like the idea of Tom Waits going from house to house educating the public about the relative size of animal dongs.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
I mean I suppose really can't compare a random website with Wikipedia "facts". There's only one way to settle this.. I'M GOIN TO THE ZOO!
I mean I suppose really can't compare a random website with Wikipedia "facts". There's only one way to settle this.. I'M GOIN TO THE ZOO!
jonmw
+0 -0
I thought that bonobos had us beat. Maybe only proportionally.
I thought that bonobos had us beat. Maybe only proportionally.
pogo
+0 -0
They're very active sexually, but I didn't think their organ size exceeded ours, proportionally.
They're very active sexually, but I didn't think their organ size exceeded ours, proportionally.
thesoulbear
+0 -0
Proportionally, of course.
Proportionally, of course.
qwerty
+7 -0
Next time that guy from down the street shouts at you he is really shouting out for his dong
Next time that guy from down the street shouts at you he is really shouting out for his dong
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
a chubby for avi/comment synergy.
way to go, Angry Schwarzenegger.
a chubby for avi/comment synergy.
way to go, Angry Schwarzenegger.
1000hz
+85 -0
THE LIGHT IS GREEN, ASSHOLE
WHERE IS MY DONG AT
THE LIGHT IS GREEN, ASSHOLE
WHERE IS MY DONG AT
waldo913
+0 -0
That made me really laugh, thank you for that.
That made me really laugh, thank you for that.
rogergs
+2 -0
I love Evolutionary Psychology.
I love Evolutionary Psychology.
afkpuz
+0 -0
Has anyone tried this?
I mean I'm pretty curious actually.
Has anyone tried this?
I mean I'm pretty curious actually.
robobogle
+10 -1
Yes. It is great except that now I need a new job.
Yes. It is great except that now I need a new job.
kochipoik
+2 -0
Haha I first read that as "except now I need a blow job"
Haha I first read that as "except now I need a blow job"
tekende
+1 -0
Everyone needs a blow job
Everyone needs a blow job
jackparsons
+2 -0
When I sit down it is 45 degrees.
When I sit down it is 45 degrees.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't have enough to do in my spare time, so I think I might try to find a way to do something like this, or at least fill a sock with my cell phone and hang it off my waist or something. Just to see if it's pleasing and familiar at all.
I don't have enough to do in my spare time, so I think I might try to find a way to do something like this, or at least fill a sock with my cell phone and hang it off my waist or something. Just to see if it's pleasing and familiar at all.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
All looking like you've come from Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Cats", but fucked up. I can dig it.
All looking like you've come from Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Cats", but fucked up. I can dig it.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Wait, I meant more fucked up.
Wait, I meant more fucked up.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you don't understand who this man is, do you?
you don't understand who this man is, do you?
keithcozz
+2 -0
Agreed. This hilarious arc dares us to look at ourselves and analyse the ridiculous "mean streak" that we all seem to have...Frankly, this is as good an explanation as any.
Agreed. This hilarious arc dares us to look at ourselves and analyse the ridiculous "mean streak" that we all seem to have...Frankly, this is as good an explanation as any.
molesticide
+2 -0
there is some -livid- science in this strip. very cool.
there is some -livid- science in this strip. very cool.
owen
+0 -0
A comment left by owen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brynito, Wulvaine, dj)
A comment left by owen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brynito, Wulvaine, dj)
cbtbone
+3 -0
...dude...
...dude...
spoon
+0 -0
GENIUS!
GENIUS!
steerpike66
+3 -0
Humans are so much bigger than gorillas; we went down that bonobo path and started playing with them too much. Those bonobos woudl make it with lawn furniture.
Humans are so much bigger than gorillas; we went down that bonobo path and started playing with them too much. Those bonobos woudl make it with lawn furniture.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
I realized something. According to this strip, cats and stuffed bears have lost their dongs. But is says nothing about humans. Are we just a lost cause?
I realized something. According to this strip, cats and stuffed bears have lost their dongs. But is says nothing about humans. Are we just a lost cause?
riazm
+1 -0
I know I spend most of my day standing around wondering where my real dong is.
I know I spend most of my day standing around wondering where my real dong is.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Ray's Freudian reading of society is apt and unique.
Ray's Freudian reading of society is apt and unique.
helenthebum
+1 -0
i want one. do i need to be male to be missing a former dong? :(
i want one. do i need to be male to be missing a former dong? :(
epicurus
+1 -0
Can't decide if this is cool or not.
Can't decide if this is cool or not.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i considered cumming.
i considered cumming.
kochipoik
+5 -0
Maybe we can get boob ones, although I doubt our boobs are vestigial. But, no more breast cancer! And as bonus, we'll be able to both speak hands free on our phone AND have dipping sauce for chips.
Maybe we can get boob ones, although I doubt our boobs are vestigial. But, no more breast cancer! And as bonus, we'll be able to both speak hands free on our phone AND have dipping sauce for chips.
kelsotimebomb
+1 -0
Maybe they can have a phone holder/dipping cup for each breast? I mean, then you can mix and match. Two dips for your chips? A dip and a phone? THE POSSIBILITIES!
Maybe they can have a phone holder/dipping cup for each breast? I mean, then you can mix and match. Two dips for your chips? A dip and a phone? THE POSSIBILITIES!
pogo
+1 -0
Hella no, imagine how the females feel, not having those giant dongs around anymore?! Cucumbers, anyone?
Hella no, imagine how the females feel, not having those giant dongs around anymore?! Cucumbers, anyone?
dasuta
+0 -0
apparently, kings have large dongs.
apparently, kings have large dongs.
drago25
+0 -0
I was wondering where my real dong was this morning.
Dang, man.
I was wondering where my real dong was this morning.
Dang, man.
straw
+1 -0
I've always thought this, but was too drunk/dristracted to say anything about it.
Gunter Grass would so massively approve of this arc. Only very some of you get that reference, and you're all thinking, "Heh, probably would."
I've always thought this, but was too drunk/dristracted to say anything about it.
Gunter Grass would so massively approve of this arc. Only very some of you get that reference, and you're all thinking, "Heh, probably would."
talbain
+0 -0
800th vote.
Damned if I don't feel special right now.
800th vote.
Damned if I don't feel special right now.
radarjammer
+1 -0
Ray's cell phone is bigger than Beef's. Coincidence?
Ray's cell phone is bigger than Beef's. Coincidence?
hamscout
+1 -0
I think the sizing is in relation to their self image...
Molly appropriately sized up Beef's needs. Any larger, and he would have visions of friends calling him arrogant. Any smaller, and he wouldn't be able to hold his head up, much less hold his cell phone with such a Lilliputian tinfoil ding-a-ling.
Ray's would have been bigger , if he hadn't already wasted most of his tinfoil stock making enormous foil cojones the previous weekend.
I think the sizing is in relation to their self image...
Molly appropriately sized up Beef's needs. Any larger, and he would have visions of friends calling him arrogant. Any smaller, and he wouldn't be able to hold his head up, much less hold his cell phone with such a Lilliputian tinfoil ding-a-ling.
Ray's would have been bigger , if he hadn't already wasted most of his tinfoil stock making enormous foil cojones the previous weekend.
twntysevn27
+0 -0
Nobody has mentioned this but I think it's telling that Ray's dong is hell of bigger than Beef's.
Nobody has mentioned this but I think it's telling that Ray's dong is hell of bigger than Beef's.
twntysevn27
+1 -0
Damnit, the guy right over me noticed. I fail. I fail so hard.
Damnit, the guy right over me noticed. I fail. I fail so hard.
ham_shoes
+2 -0
RB's so at peace he doesn't even bat an eye when Ray squats down and examines his package real close up
RB's so at peace he doesn't even bat an eye when Ray squats down and examines his package real close up
aamzed
+0 -0
Ray's is bigger....
Ray's is bigger....
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
Maybe it's me, but I can't help but wonder if Ray's version is a thong.
Maybe it's me, but I can't help but wonder if Ray's version is a thong.
jayson001
+0 -0
Amazing
Amazing
theirateturk
+0 -0
The reason RB offers for the dong shrinkage is so fucking plausible
The reason RB offers for the dong shrinkage is so fucking plausible
srikamaraja
+1 -0
We are all crying out for our own dongs.
Forgive my dong its trespasses as I forgive those who have trespassed against it.
We are all crying out for our own dongs.
Forgive my dong its trespasses as I forgive those who have trespassed against it.
duperando
+0 -0
beautiful
beautiful
Simply incredible.
I would venture that it is quite credible indeed. Everything was bigger back then. Look at the woolly mammoths!
Chubbied for your avatar. I loves me the PBF.