likeiwassaying
+2 -0
I love the look on the fez wearing guest as he smokes and considers.
I love the look on the fez wearing guest as he smokes and considers.
sdskyle
+0 -0
Yeah. The mustache is also brilliant.
Yeah. The mustache is also brilliant.
spinynorman
+4 -0
Men in fezzes are exclusively reserved for being background extras in Casablanca or selling snakes in Blade Runner. They need to clear the fuck out of weddings.
Men in fezzes are exclusively reserved for being background extras in Casablanca or selling snakes in Blade Runner. They need to clear the fuck out of weddings.
the_voice
+6 -0
Also for driving little cars on the covers of Dead Kennedys albums.
Also for driving little cars on the covers of Dead Kennedys albums.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure the Shriners existed long before the Dead Kennedys.
I might also be taking you too seriously.
I'm pretty sure the Shriners existed long before the Dead Kennedys.
I might also be taking you too seriously.
sncether
+0 -0
Little known fact: the first of the eponymous Kennedy's was, in fact, a shriner.
Someone construct a syllogism using this information.
Little known fact: the first of the eponymous Kennedy's was, in fact, a shriner.
Someone construct a syllogism using this information.
hamscout
+12 -0
Someone from the Kennedy's was a Shriner.
Shriners wear fezs.
Therefore, fez-wearing men at weddings are probably uncomfortable because they left a secretary drowning in a car off Martha's Vineyard.
Someone from the Kennedy's was a Shriner.
Shriners wear fezs.
Therefore, fez-wearing men at weddings are probably uncomfortable because they left a secretary drowning in a car off Martha's Vineyard.
sirhan_duran
+1 -0
I'm forgetting something, I'm forgetting something... not the oven, what was it... oh hell, Mary Jo
I'm forgetting something, I'm forgetting something... not the oven, what was it... oh hell, Mary Jo
fuckyoufriday
+2 -0
too soon.
too soon.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
The Patriarch of the Kennedy clan was a Shriner
He is now dead.
Therefore, all Kennedys are Dead Kennedys
The Patriarch of the Kennedy clan was a Shriner
He is now dead.
Therefore, all Kennedys are Dead Kennedys
sdskyle
+4 -0
I wear ties all the time and I give really affectionate hugs. Human beings need affection. That's why we're all depressed. We need the contact.
I wear ties all the time and I give really affectionate hugs. Human beings need affection. That's why we're all depressed. We need the contact.
pogo
+0 -0
Don't touch me that way.
Don't touch me that way.
daidai
+0 -0
Don't hug pogo, he hates people.
Don't hug pogo, he hates people.
steev_dayv
+1 -0
Men in ties know about good touch/bad touch. Men in turtlenecks do not.
Men in ties know about good touch/bad touch. Men in turtlenecks do not.
invidious
+1 -0
I do not hug. I tend to walk up and start leg-humping without solicitation.
It usually bothers people, except for Heather Mills, who didn't even notice.
I do not hug. I tend to walk up and start leg-humping without solicitation.
It usually bothers people, except for Heather Mills, who didn't even notice.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
this also works with Hayley Mills.
this also works with Hayley Mills.
king_duncan
+0 -0
Mills in general, I've found.
Mills in general, I've found.
octafish
+1 -0
There's trouble 'at mill!
There's trouble 'at mill!
spinynorman
+1 -0
One of the wheels gone out on treadle!
One of the wheels gone out on treadle!
em2
+5 -0
"I don't understand what you're saying."
"One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treddle."
"Well what on earth does that mean?"
"I don't know. Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition."
"I don't understand what you're saying."
"One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treddle."
"Well what on earth does that mean?"
"I don't know. Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition."
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[obvious reply]
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!
[/obvious reply]
[obvious reply]
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!
[/obvious reply]
maximus
+1 -0
incoming!
incoming!
plummet
+1 -0
HOLY SHIT
I was completely not expecting this.
HOLY SHIT
I was completely not expecting this.
thegoblins
+0 -0
General Mills? Crap...that's not funny.
General Mills? Crap...that's not funny.
akarroa
+0 -0
Cereal?
Cereal?
thorfinn
+0 -0
The feeling is mutual (people hate pogo as well)
The feeling is mutual (people hate pogo as well)
flazisismuss
+0 -0
I think the original characterization was spot-on. I am a frequent tie-wearer, and I resent huggers. Keep your damn germs to yourself. Also, I paid someone good money to iron these shirts and dry clean these suits so I don't want other peoples' need for affection to effect my budget.
People should have their hugging status tattooed on their foreheads so as to reduce confusion: HUGGER (you) or BACK THE FUCK OFF (me).
I think the original characterization was spot-on. I am a frequent tie-wearer, and I resent huggers. Keep your damn germs to yourself. Also, I paid someone good money to iron these shirts and dry clean these suits so I don't want other peoples' need for affection to effect my budget.
People should have their hugging status tattooed on their foreheads so as to reduce confusion: HUGGER (you) or BACK THE FUCK OFF (me).
hamscout
+2 -0
what about: "POOR IMPULSE CONTROL"? ***
*** Snowcrash
what about: "POOR IMPULSE CONTROL"? ***
*** Snowcrash
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Yes, that was what I was thinking. If I saw someone with this I wouldn't mess with him for fear of possible glass knives. Also, I hope he wouldn't hug me.
Yes, that was what I was thinking. If I saw someone with this I wouldn't mess with him for fear of possible glass knives. Also, I hope he wouldn't hug me.
sdskyle
+0 -0
This post made me lol. Can I hug you? I'm really chubbed up for it.
This post made me lol. Can I hug you? I'm really chubbed up for it.
octafish
+0 -0
I thought of Ghosts of the Civil Dead with probably no-one has seen. You do not want what that guy had on his forehead.
hint Worst swear ever.
hint 2 *whispers* It rhymes with @unt .
I thought of Ghosts of the Civil Dead with probably no-one has seen. You do not want what that guy had on his forehead.
hint Worst swear ever.
hint 2 *whispers* It rhymes with @unt .
aliiis
+0 -0
I have seen it! Hurrah. You generally want to be like that guy as little as humanly possible, I find.
I have seen it! Hurrah. You generally want to be like that guy as little as humanly possible, I find.
farqussus
+0 -0
it rhymes with aunt? can't?
it rhymes with aunt? can't?
stereo
+1 -0
No, aunt as in taunt!
No, aunt as in taunt!
spinynorman
+0 -0
I am very offended whenever someone accuses me of flaunting my money.
I am very offended whenever someone accuses me of flaunting my money.
spinynorman
+0 -0
mostly on account of how I don't have any
mostly on account of how I don't have any
thorfinn
+0 -0
I don't wear a tie or shirts that nead ironing, but I still don't like being hugged. I barely hug family members that I have known for years, let alone some random dude in a turtleneck at a wedding. I'm like "Dude, stay the fuck out of my bubble." I'm thinking it at least, I wouldn't actually say that to people because that would make me a dick.
I don't wear a tie or shirts that nead ironing, but I still don't like being hugged. I barely hug family members that I have known for years, let alone some random dude in a turtleneck at a wedding. I'm like "Dude, stay the fuck out of my bubble." I'm thinking it at least, I wouldn't actually say that to people because that would make me a dick.
shankley
+0 -0
I enjoy the occasional bro grab. It can be a natural and zesty enterprise.
I enjoy the occasional bro grab. It can be a natural and zesty enterprise.
chuvak
+0 -0
Uh... coitus?
Uh... coitus?
morypcaina
+2 -0
Or they could do this.
Or they could do this.
orvel
+0 -0
Hey look, someone else reads The Ferrett. Chubby for you and the Open Source Boob Project.
Hey look, someone else reads The Ferrett. Chubby for you and the Open Source Boob Project.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Channeling Pat again....
Channeling Pat again....
squares
+0 -0
the bad grandparents get table 3, of course.
the bad grandparents get table 3, of course.
habnabit
+0 -2
I like your avatar. :3
I like your avatar. :3
sidd2600
+0 -0
A comment left by sidd2600 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lonis, bigtom, loneal)
A comment left by sidd2600 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lonis, bigtom, loneal)
habnabit
+7 -0
Says the man with a gigantic anthropomorphic cat in his avatar.
Says the man with a gigantic anthropomorphic cat in his avatar.
sidd2600
+2 -0
Cat is a new wave enigma, going through life with a crippling paint addiction and a love of Wes Anderson films. Who hasn't been there?
Cat is a new wave enigma, going through life with a crippling paint addiction and a love of Wes Anderson films. Who hasn't been there?
habnabit
+0 -0
Oh I know. I have a Bad Decision Dinosaur pin on my backpack.
Oh I know. I have a Bad Decision Dinosaur pin on my backpack.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Fezz Anderson?
Fezz Anderson?
fcannon
+3 -0
Men in fezzes are indeed unpredictable. This has come up over 3 times in my life.
Men in fezzes are indeed unpredictable. This has come up over 3 times in my life.
pogo
+12 -0
We all go through fezzes in our lives.
We all go through fezzes in our lives.
steev_dayv
+3 -0
I have a fezz and satin robe I like to wear while sitting in my armchair and sipping brandy. Occasional cigar. It is a joke I take quite seriously and quite often.
I have a fezz and satin robe I like to wear while sitting in my armchair and sipping brandy. Occasional cigar. It is a joke I take quite seriously and quite often.
thebcm
+5 -0
Back in my college days, my friends and I would put on Fezzes for our weekly hamburger club.
We'd wear our fezzes as we made pre-made frozen burgers from Smart and Final on a George Forman grill, and we'd sit around in our fezzes and watch King of the Hill or Matlock, because all we had was broadcast television.
I have fond memories of my Fez, and its foot-long tassle.
Back in my college days, my friends and I would put on Fezzes for our weekly hamburger club.
We'd wear our fezzes as we made pre-made frozen burgers from Smart and Final on a George Forman grill, and we'd sit around in our fezzes and watch King of the Hill or Matlock, because all we had was broadcast television.
I have fond memories of my Fez, and its foot-long tassle.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
...saddest thing ever?
...saddest thing ever?
smilebuddha
+3 -0
I have to add a recent picture of me in a fez. White dinner jackets and white fezzes fluoresce so neatly in blacklight...
I have to add a recent picture of me in a fez. White dinner jackets and white fezzes fluoresce so neatly in blacklight...
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
This is a pretty sweet picture.
This is a pretty sweet picture.
hamscout
+0 -0
What was the occasion? Were you visiting the Blue Parrot Cafe they replicated inside ENCOM?
What was the occasion? Were you visiting the Blue Parrot Cafe they replicated inside ENCOM?
smilebuddha
+0 -0
[sydneygreenstreet]Oh, Rick, huh huh, oh Rick, your naivete is touching.[/sydneygreenstreet]
Well, when you have formal events in the middle of a field in Delaware, there's no telling what the other crazy types have up their sleeve.
[sydneygreenstreet]Oh, Rick, huh huh, oh Rick, your naivete is touching.[/sydneygreenstreet]
Well, when you have formal events in the middle of a field in Delaware, there's no telling what the other crazy types have up their sleeve.
colorlessness
+0 -0
For some reason, the lighting makes me feel more like they replicated a formal event inside the virtual-reality Emmanuelle. You know, where Emmanuelle was in space, but then also fucking people at a lot of black-tie events? That's where this photo is from.
For some reason, the lighting makes me feel more like they replicated a formal event inside the virtual-reality Emmanuelle. You know, where Emmanuelle was in space, but then also fucking people at a lot of black-tie events? That's where this photo is from.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I just know there is a shot of the Biggie Smalls that looks exactly like this but apparently there are only 5 pictures of Biggie on the internet.
I just know there is a shot of the Biggie Smalls that looks exactly like this but apparently there are only 5 pictures of Biggie on the internet.
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
A true masterpiece.
A true masterpiece.
kingsleymc
+1 -1
Hugging a dude in a necktie?
That's just sick as HELL .
Hugging a dude in a necktie?
That's just sick as HELL .
axhoola
+0 -2
I can't imagine having a man at my wedding wearing a fez for a reason that was clear to me.
I can't imagine having a man at my wedding wearing a fez for a reason that was clear to me.
bixschmix
+1 -0
Whereas I can't imagine NOT having a man at my wedding wearing a fez. Preferably one of my friends who has no reason to be wearing a fez other than pure appreciation.
Whereas I can't imagine NOT having a man at my wedding wearing a fez. Preferably one of my friends who has no reason to be wearing a fez other than pure appreciation.
spinynorman
+1 -0
I'm fairly certain it's illegal if he isn't paired with a tiny motorized car.
I'm fairly certain it's illegal if he isn't paired with a tiny motorized car.
bixschmix
+1 -0
I figured that that went without saying!
I figured that that went without saying!
yaomtc
+0 -0
Chubbied for the George "He'll Kick You Apart" Washington.
Chubbied for the George "He'll Kick You Apart" Washington.
expellens
+0 -0
...and he'll save the children! But, not the british children.
...and he'll save the children! But, not the british children.
theora
+0 -0
My fiance wants to wear a fez to our wedding, for reasons that are unclear to me.
I have not decided how I feel about that yet.
My fiance wants to wear a fez to our wedding, for reasons that are unclear to me.
I have not decided how I feel about that yet.
spinynorman
+0 -0
My friend wore an all-white Tuxedo to his wedding.
It was funny, his family's Turkish and they didn't speak a lick of English, but I could still tell when his brother related that interesting fashion choice. I've seen eyerolls before but those were so hard they practically made a sound/
He looked like a big ol' ice cream cone.
My friend wore an all-white Tuxedo to his wedding.
It was funny, his family's Turkish and they didn't speak a lick of English, but I could still tell when his brother related that interesting fashion choice. I've seen eyerolls before but those were so hard they practically made a sound/
He looked like a big ol' ice cream cone.
hamscout
+3 -0
you can dress up like a sultan in your onion...head...hat...
you can dress up like a sultan in your onion...head...hat...
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Man, so awesome. Cake is one of my favorite bands
Man, so awesome. Cake is one of my favorite bands
hamscout
+0 -0
LOVE CAKE.
LOVE THEM.
Still have the pink foam ball they threw into the crowd on their last tour through town. Good fun!
LOVE CAKE.
LOVE THEM.
Still have the pink foam ball they threw into the crowd on their last tour through town. Good fun!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Mr. Mastadon Farm is my anthem
Mr. Mastadon Farm is my anthem
steev_dayv
+2 -0
When I see white I instantly think of "fresh canvas". The urge to Pollock your friend would be too much. I'm glad I don't know him.
When I see white I instantly think of "fresh canvas". The urge to Pollock your friend would be too much. I'm glad I don't know him.
gmm
+0 -0
Chubby for the use of "Pollock" as a verb. That's brilliant.
Chubby for the use of "Pollock" as a verb. That's brilliant.
king_duncan
+0 -0
As long as we don't mix "Pollocking" with "Draining the Meat Dildo".
As long as we don't mix "Pollocking" with "Draining the Meat Dildo".
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I want a Pollock Dildo now...
I want a Pollock Dildo now...
squares
+0 -0
i would imagine you're feeling something like "oooh hell no."
i would imagine you're feeling something like "oooh hell no."
morypcaina
+0 -0
OK, which assetbarrier will it be?
OK, which assetbarrier will it be?
paperboy_2000
+12 -0
My brother and his friend made a deal that, whoever got married first, the other person would come to his wedding dressed as a pirate. My brother got married first, the other guy showed up as a pirate. Sat right up front, just behind the bride's family. There were a lot of whispered questions and unsatisfying explanations in the church.
My brother and his friend made a deal that, whoever got married first, the other person would come to his wedding dressed as a pirate. My brother got married first, the other guy showed up as a pirate. Sat right up front, just behind the bride's family. There were a lot of whispered questions and unsatisfying explanations in the church.
fineoakstructure
+14 -0
Unsatisfying explanations are what normally occur in church.
Tell me about it!
Unsatisfying explanations are what normally occur in church.
Tell me about it!
squares
+0 -0
That's not all that's unsatisfying at church.
That's not all that's unsatisfying at church.
spinynorman
+1 -0
See below for the evidence of the sneakiness of that rascally fucker and our Lord and savior, Jesus.
See below for the evidence of the sneakiness of that rascally fucker and our Lord and savior, Jesus.
squares
+0 -0
fuck man he posts on here what the hell man what the HELL
fuck man he posts on here what the hell man what the HELL
ntopp
+0 -0
Are you referring to subpar blowjobs?
What an awful thing to have in church. Be more considerate.
Are you referring to subpar blowjobs?
What an awful thing to have in church. Be more considerate.
invidious
+2 -0
Or find a new priest.
Or find a new priest.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I was referring to lackluster reasoning behind Trinitarianism and transubstantiation...those kind of things. But yeah, they're pretty much the spiritual version of a subpar blowjob.
I was referring to lackluster reasoning behind Trinitarianism and transubstantiation...those kind of things. But yeah, they're pretty much the spiritual version of a subpar blowjob.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
I got the worst head of my life in church...the deacon spat it on my leg, and I had jeans on.
I got the worst head of my life in church...the deacon spat it on my leg, and I had jeans on.
falseprophet
+5 -0
At my brother's wedding, I was a groomsman. This was back when I still had dreads. My brother wanted me to get a haircut for the wedding, but his soon-to-be-wife said it was fine (she was the one who styled my dreads actually).
At the reception, slightly tipsy, I toasted their nuptials, remembering how domineering my older brother was to us growing up and how often we fought. So by way of welcoming my new sister-in-law to the family, I told them that I wished them lots of love, laughter, and arguments "because without it you have no honesty and without honesty you have nothing ."
At my brother's wedding, I was a groomsman. This was back when I still had dreads. My brother wanted me to get a haircut for the wedding, but his soon-to-be-wife said it was fine (she was the one who styled my dreads actually).
At the reception, slightly tipsy, I toasted their nuptials, remembering how domineering my older brother was to us growing up and how often we fought. So by way of welcoming my new sister-in-law to the family, I told them that I wished them lots of love, laughter, and arguments "because without it you have no honesty and without honesty you have nothing ."
techiebabe
+0 -0
That's freakin' awesome. You got any pictures of the pirate friend at your brother's wedding?
That's freakin' awesome. You got any pictures of the pirate friend at your brother's wedding?
ntopp
+0 -0
I'm addicted to watching that kitten eat that corn. I just... can't look away.
I'm addicted to watching that kitten eat that corn. I just... can't look away.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Never. Change. Your avatar.
Never. Change. Your avatar.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I disagree. The picture of herself she put up during handface weekend was possibly even better to look at.
(I feel okay saying this because it is late at night and hopefully a new strip will be posted soon)
I disagree. The picture of herself she put up during handface weekend was possibly even better to look at.
(I feel okay saying this because it is late at night and hopefully a new strip will be posted soon)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Post a gif of yorself eating corn.
Post a gif of yorself eating corn.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Not until Tuesday, you've jumped the gun!
Not until Tuesday, you've jumped the gun!
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Yeah, I'll post them... just as... just as soon as I finish watching that kitten eat that corn.
Heh.
He loves that corn...
No, seriously, I don't have any or I would post them. I'll have to see if my brother has any in digital form (his first wedding was in that era when the professional cameras were still film, but there may be some digtal shots out there.)
Yeah, I'll post them... just as... just as soon as I finish watching that kitten eat that corn.
Heh.
He loves that corn...
No, seriously, I don't have any or I would post them. I'll have to see if my brother has any in digital form (his first wedding was in that era when the professional cameras were still film, but there may be some digtal shots out there.)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Axhoola, laming you just to see if you'll lame everything I posted again.
Axhoola, laming you just to see if you'll lame everything I posted again.
axhoola
+0 -0
Ahh, sorry about that. As I recall, I was having a Bad Day. No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever.
Ahh, sorry about that. As I recall, I was having a Bad Day. No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever.
mint
+0 -0
hahaha! I love how Ray is wearing that bowtie.
hahaha! I love how Ray is wearing that bowtie.
scott_335
+2 -0
I love that Ray stays shirtless, adding only a bowtie. Roast Beef maintains the nerd look with short sleeve ruffly tux shirt
I love that Ray stays shirtless, adding only a bowtie. Roast Beef maintains the nerd look with short sleeve ruffly tux shirt
paperboy_2000
+8 -0
It is acceptable to hug a man in a bow tie with no shirt until you feel his nipples harden.
It is acceptable to hug a man in a bow tie with no shirt until you feel his nipples harden.
the_voice
+0 -0
Hardened nipples is the sign.
Hardened nipples is the sign.
awko
+1 -0
It's natures way of creating more space between people who hug for too long.
It's natures way of creating more space between people who hug for too long.
maximus
+0 -0
11.7 square miles of the earth's surface is nipple tissue, but cold weather can reduce this area to as little as 7.4 square miles.
11.7 square miles of the earth's surface is nipple tissue, but cold weather can reduce this area to as little as 7.4 square miles.
loneal
+0 -0
The bowtie appears to stay in place by whatever force keeps his glasses in place.
The bowtie appears to stay in place by whatever force keeps his glasses in place.
perilon
+0 -0
But what has he done with the Fun King medallion? That bowtie had better have Properties, in case whatever is going to go wrong at the wedding does, indeed, go wrong.
But what has he done with the Fun King medallion? That bowtie had better have Properties, in case whatever is going to go wrong at the wedding does, indeed, go wrong.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
They both own dinner suits, too. Ray's is terrible and he leaves the pocket square while it's on the hanger, but Beef's is perfectly fine.
They both own dinner suits, too. Ray's is terrible and he leaves the pocket square while it's on the hanger, but Beef's is perfectly fine.
starch
+0 -0
One never invites men who wear fezzes to their wedding, but if they show up, its best to just role with it.
One never invites men who wear fezzes to their wedding, but if they show up, its best to just role with it.
sidd2600
+2 -0
Multiple entendre!
Multiple entendre!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
hah hah hah!
hah hah hah!
weapon86
+0 -0
I have never seen a head table at a wedding which is circular. I am always used to a rectangle. Now I don't know what to believe anymore.
I have never seen a head table at a wedding which is circular. I am always used to a rectangle. Now I don't know what to believe anymore.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -1
You know what I contribute that to the breakdown of? Family values.
You know what I contribute that to the breakdown of? Family values.
ashoykh
+1 -0
I bet Phillipe is under the table.
I bet Phillipe is under the table.
ashoykh
+1 -0
I'd like a hug now.
I'd like a hug now.
pursesnatcher
+2 -0
*hug*
*hug*
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Find a man in a turtleneck
Find a man in a turtleneck
envika
+0 -0
A comment left by envika was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Avery, billygoatbiker)
A comment left by envika was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Avery, billygoatbiker)
spinynorman
+1 -1
Hey, I leave 23 next month. Welcome to my age group, please take care of it once I depart.
Hey, I leave 23 next month. Welcome to my age group, please take care of it once I depart.
steev_dayv
+0 -1
I almost wanted to lame you for assuming that we were the type of people who would lame you because it was your birthday. But I didn't. Because it's your birthday.
I almost wanted to lame you for assuming that we were the type of people who would lame you because it was your birthday. But I didn't. Because it's your birthday.
envika
+0 -0
in retrospect, i shoulda left out the lame part. thank you and the other two people that wished me a happy birthday.
in retrospect, i shoulda left out the lame part. thank you and the other two people that wished me a happy birthday.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Congratulations to you on this your special day!
Congratulations to you on this your special day!
nabeel84
+0 -0
A comment left by nabeel84 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DarkerNorm, nphares, billygoatbiker)
A comment left by nabeel84 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DarkerNorm, nphares, billygoatbiker)
spinynorman
+10 -0
My genitals have an actual seal which I apply each morning, though. It's a cocktail of caulk and roofing tar which prevents airborne STD's. In this regard it's not a myth, but a regular habit for me.
My genitals have an actual seal which I apply each morning, though. It's a cocktail of caulk and roofing tar which prevents airborne STD's. In this regard it's not a myth, but a regular habit for me.
envika
+0 -0
that's almost believable
that's almost believable
onepapertiger
+0 -0
The actual tone and content of envika's reply were completely overshadowed by Mr. Yuck's own reaction.
The actual tone and content of envika's reply were completely overshadowed by Mr. Yuck's own reaction.
envika
+0 -0
i keep forgetting that i have the ability to embody my avatar in comments, just like all the people with screaming philippe avatars...
i keep forgetting that i have the ability to embody my avatar in comments, just like all the people with screaming philippe avatars...
nabeel84
+0 -0
If airborne std's were real then I would contract several by merely being in the vicinity of a frat party. Plus 5 points for using the phrase cocktail in regards to the seal on your penis.
If airborne std's were real then I would contract several by merely being in the vicinity of a frat party. Plus 5 points for using the phrase cocktail in regards to the seal on your penis.
pogo
+0 -0
Say, doesn't "penis" actually come from the Latin word for "tail"? If so, lots of entendres there.
Say, doesn't "penis" actually come from the Latin word for "tail"? If so, lots of entendres there.
charchar
+0 -0
Yes. And now the lonely word "penis" is seared into my search history.
Yes. And now the lonely word "penis" is seared into my search history.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
Well, let's hope Moderate Safe Search was on, at least.
Well, let's hope Moderate Safe Search was on, at least.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Airborne Sexualy Transmitted Diseases. Airborne sex?
Airborne Sexualy Transmitted Diseases. Airborne sex?
hamscout
+17 -0
steev_dayv
+3 -0
The Aristocrats!
The Aristocrats!
spinynorman
+0 -0
what in the world
what in the world
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I would purchase this product.
Even though it seems like it's actually selling STDs.
THAT'S JUST HOW GOOD IT IS.
I would purchase this product.
Even though it seems like it's actually selling STDs.
THAT'S JUST HOW GOOD IT IS.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
The hand clasped to her throat... the leering audience... her red, blushing, cross-hatched cheeks... this is the most punishing piece of cartoon porn I've ever seen!
on assetbar.
The hand clasped to her throat... the leering audience... her red, blushing, cross-hatched cheeks... this is the most punishing piece of cartoon porn I've ever seen!
on assetbar.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
The dick looks like those clear marbles that had the little jots of color in them.
The dick looks like those clear marbles that had the little jots of color in them.
hamscout
+0 -0
...available for purchase
I wonder if I'd be more turned on by a "catseye" version?
...available for purchase
I wonder if I'd be more turned on by a "catseye" version?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Elegant!
Elegant!
steev_dayv
+2 -0
This is the Pollock Dildo I mention earier.
This is the Pollock Dildo I mention earier.
maximus
+0 -0
haha you put a penis in your post!
haha you put a penis in your post!
skoora
+1 -0
A cock caulk as it were.
A cock caulk as it were.
fineoakstructure
+6 -0
Cock Caulk Revolution!
Congeal a peel and seal the deal! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE URETHRA
Cock Caulk Revolution!
Congeal a peel and seal the deal! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE URETHRA
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I instantly thought of a remake of the dance dance revolution. A fast-paced cock caulking game. I could see this being played on the wii.
I instantly thought of a remake of the dance dance revolution. A fast-paced cock caulking game. I could see this being played on the wii.
thorfinn
+1 -0
Seeing cock and Wii in the same sentence, I automatically thought of Mario Party for the Wii. There is one particular mini game where you have to shake soda cans and make them explode, and I will tell you right now that shaking soda is not what most people associate that hand motion with.
Seeing cock and Wii in the same sentence, I automatically thought of Mario Party for the Wii. There is one particular mini game where you have to shake soda cans and make them explode, and I will tell you right now that shaking soda is not what most people associate that hand motion with.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
fizzzz....kersploosh!
fizzzz....kersploosh!
kamet
+0 -0
It's a great conversation starter at parties.
It's a great conversation starter at parties.
nabeel84
+3 -0
Cock Caulk Revolution
Apply Directly to the Urethra
Cock Caulk Revolution
Apply Directly to the Urethra
Cock Caulk Revolution
Apply Directly to the Urethra
Cock Caulk Revolution
Apply Directly to the Urethra
Cock Caulk Revolution
Apply Directly to the Urethra
Cock Caulk Revolution
Apply Directly to the Urethra
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Airborne STD's... I think we're on the other side of the looking glass here.
Airborne STD's... I think we're on the other side of the looking glass here.
king_duncan
+0 -0
Ah, the famous cock caulk.
Ah, the famous cock caulk.
irondave
+0 -0
The Seal is plenty real for me. I can hold it for hours, but once I start....
The Seal is plenty real for me. I can hold it for hours, but once I start....
achilleselbow
+3 -0
DIURETIC, CHA CHA CHA!
DIURETIC, CHA CHA CHA!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I almost didn't get that one.
I almost didn't get that one.
avocado
+1 -0
No myth!
Breaking the seal describes an actual medical phenomena. At some point after drinking a great deal of anything quickly, your bladder expands past its usual "time to see a horse about a meat dildo" capacity.
So you eventually pee, and the bladder constricts. But! It does not want to expand as much the next time. That's why you'll have to go more frequently after that. The diuretic qualities of alcohol are just a red herring, like Communism in "Clue".
This was explained to me by my doctor sister while we were tailgating, with hand gestures and everything.
No myth!
Breaking the seal describes an actual medical phenomena. At some point after drinking a great deal of anything quickly, your bladder expands past its usual "time to see a horse about a meat dildo" capacity.
So you eventually pee, and the bladder constricts. But! It does not want to expand as much the next time. That's why you'll have to go more frequently after that. The diuretic qualities of alcohol are just a red herring, like Communism in "Clue".
This was explained to me by my doctor sister while we were tailgating, with hand gestures and everything.
octafish
+0 -0
Wait, so its still true that "Eatin's Cheatin'", right? ...right?
Wait, so its still true that "Eatin's Cheatin'", right? ...right?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
people actually use the phrase breaking the seal? I guess I don't really understand the meaning.
Is the myth that there is a physical seal at the mast of a man's dongus that gets broken by excessive urine?
people actually use the phrase breaking the seal? I guess I don't really understand the meaning.
Is the myth that there is a physical seal at the mast of a man's dongus that gets broken by excessive urine?
thorfinn
+0 -0
Essentially, a dude can drink for a while at the beginning of the night without peeing, sometimes for a couple hours, but once he "breaks the seal", by peeing the first time, he then has to pee like once every 15 minutes for the remainder of the night.
Essentially, a dude can drink for a while at the beginning of the night without peeing, sometimes for a couple hours, but once he "breaks the seal", by peeing the first time, he then has to pee like once every 15 minutes for the remainder of the night.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Yes.
Men don't really think there is a seal; we may be simple, but we have an amazing aptitude to understand metaphors relating to our dicks.
Yes.
Men don't really think there is a seal; we may be simple, but we have an amazing aptitude to understand metaphors relating to our dicks.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
Funnily, I only ever heard this one from women. But then, the only hard drinkers I know are women.
Funnily, I only ever heard this one from women. But then, the only hard drinkers I know are women.
cromar
+0 -0
Yes. "The seal" is a biological truth for all genders .
Yes. "The seal" is a biological truth for all genders .
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
The seal is something all drinkers can imagine. all drinkers can imagine this.
The seal is something all drinkers can imagine. all drinkers can imagine this.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Personally, I favour the analogy of opening the floodgates ; it implies a mighty, gushing torrent before which Poseidon himself would be as helpless as Canute.
Personally, I favour the analogy of opening the floodgates ; it implies a mighty, gushing torrent before which Poseidon himself would be as helpless as Canute.
maximus
+1 -1
Please don't kill me, but Onstead is phoning this week in. Maybe its inlaws or working vacation. Doesn't mater. All is forgiven
Love,
maximus
Please don't kill me, but Onstead is phoning this week in. Maybe its inlaws or working vacation. Doesn't mater. All is forgiven
Love,
maximus
maximus
+0 -0
Would you guys be more forgiving of my typing if I told you a was a quadroplegic using a stick strapped to my forehead?
Would you guys be more forgiving of my typing if I told you a was a quadroplegic using a stick strapped to my forehead?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm going to not lame you because of your constant changing avatar. Otherwise I would fuck into the ground for doubting the Onstar. (I would not actually lame someone for not liking a strip)
I'm going to not lame you because of your constant changing avatar. Otherwise I would fuck into the ground for doubting the Onstar. (I would not actually lame someone for not liking a strip)
spinynorman
+0 -0
I am COMPLETELY stealing "fuck you into the ground". That will be used to night, probably to great effect.
I am COMPLETELY stealing "fuck you into the ground". That will be used to night, probably to great effect.
steev_dayv
+0 -1
I like "fuck you to death." Not as in, "I want to fuck you to death," but as "fuck you to death."
I like "fuck you to death." Not as in, "I want to fuck you to death," but as "fuck you to death."
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
"Baby, when we get home tonight, I am going to fuck you into the ground ."
"Baby, when we get home tonight, I am going to fuck you into the ground ."
hamscout
+0 -0
Have you read any Tom Robbins? Great lines like:
"I've a mind to lay you down and split you like a rack of mutton."
Have you read any Tom Robbins? Great lines like:
"I've a mind to lay you down and split you like a rack of mutton."
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I'm going to Fuck you into the ground Eli! (oscar winning pause) Fuck you into the ground!
I'm going to Fuck you into the ground Eli! (oscar winning pause) Fuck you into the ground!
hamscout
+0 -0
I... FUCK... YOUR... MILKSHAKE!!!
(This will stop as soon as we watch 'There will be blood' that came with Netflix on Thursday.)
I... FUCK... YOUR... MILKSHAKE!!!
(This will stop as soon as we watch 'There will be blood' that came with Netflix on Thursday.)
comrade_tom
+1 -0
It was on recently at my University, I have to resist the urge now not to go into a stoop and mutter things like "We're just hunting for quail, thats all".
I'm aware I've belatedly jumped onto a bandwagon,but hell if anything deserves a metaphorical wagon, its that film.
It was on recently at my University, I have to resist the urge now not to go into a stoop and mutter things like "We're just hunting for quail, thats all".
I'm aware I've belatedly jumped onto a bandwagon,but hell if anything deserves a metaphorical wagon, its that film.
soupkaty
+1 -0
This week's fun new phrase:
"I'd fuck him like he stole something!"
This week's fun new phrase:
"I'd fuck him like he stole something!"
octafish
+0 -0
Once overheard in a club in Adelaide, South Australia "I wouldn't fuck him if he was on fire." A strange portmanteau of "I wouldn't fuck him if he was the last man on earth" and "I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire" that leaves you wondering just what you have to do to impress this lady.
Once overheard in a club in Adelaide, South Australia "I wouldn't fuck him if he was on fire." A strange portmanteau of "I wouldn't fuck him if he was the last man on earth" and "I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire" that leaves you wondering just what you have to do to impress this lady.
colorlessness
+1 -0
Normally, one assumes that everyone would want to fuck somebody who's on fire.
... he's the hottest guy in the room! [DRUM ROLL]
Normally, one assumes that everyone would want to fuck somebody who's on fire.
... he's the hottest guy in the room! [DRUM ROLL]
octafish
+0 -0
I think you meant:
Normally, one assumes that everyone would want to fuck somebody who's on fire. [DRUM ROLL]
... he's the hottest guy in the room! [RIMSHOT]
hee hee hee ...rimshot!
I think you meant:
Normally, one assumes that everyone would want to fuck somebody who's on fire. [DRUM ROLL]
... he's the hottest guy in the room! [RIMSHOT]
hee hee hee ...rimshot!
colorlessness
+0 -0
ah, you are correct, I was confusing my drum-related stand-up terminology.
ah, you are correct, I was confusing my drum-related stand-up terminology.
farqussus
+2 -0
There are clubs in Adelaide?
Oh, you mean an RSL.
There are clubs in Adelaide?
Oh, you mean an RSL.
morypcaina
+0 -0
You know what? I'm going to fuck into the ground.
You are such a low woman or man that I don't even care if you are involved.
This is my insult Assetbar
You know what? I'm going to fuck into the ground.
You are such a low woman or man that I don't even care if you are involved.
This is my insult Assetbar
miseryandthesun
+3 -0
This is the saddest thong.
This is the saddest thong.
aliiis
+0 -0
big fucking chubby.
big fucking chubby.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Fear not, my quadroplegic friend, cybernetic technology will soon develop a robobody for you. They are well on their way there.
cybernetic monkey arm
Fear not, my quadroplegic friend, cybernetic technology will soon develop a robobody for you. They are well on their way there.
cybernetic monkey arm
steev_dayv
+1 -1
you just know that all of their testing on monkeys before application on humans is going to breed super monkies that just fuck us all up. You just know that shit.
you just know that all of their testing on monkeys before application on humans is going to breed super monkies that just fuck us all up. You just know that shit.
cbtbone
+0 -0
That's a pretty okay interpretation of what happened in "28 Days Later."
That's a pretty okay interpretation of what happened in "28 Days Later."
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
this is possible. my dad (God rest his soul) had a typing stick he had to put in his mouth.
he did not use the computer much (he did not use it at all.) so i did all his Googling.
the end.
this is possible. my dad (God rest his soul) had a typing stick he had to put in his mouth.
he did not use the computer much (he did not use it at all.) so i did all his Googling.
the end.
pogo
+0 -0
Wedding stuff bum you out? Me too. I try to keep them a simple as possible.
Wedding stuff bum you out? Me too. I try to keep them a simple as possible.
achilleselbow
+6 -0
You know, if you think about it, a wedding is a big party you throw that basically announces to all your parents and friends "Hey, everyone! We're gonna bone right after this!"
You know, if you think about it, a wedding is a big party you throw that basically announces to all your parents and friends "Hey, everyone! We're gonna bone right after this!"
sirfrederick
+0 -0
I've been describing it as a social sculpture in celebration of love, but I think you've cut right to the heart of it.
I've been describing it as a social sculpture in celebration of love, but I think you've cut right to the heart of it.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
And you guys aren't invited.
And you guys aren't invited.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I'm fairly certain that phrasing is an important part of most Lutheran marriage ceremonies.
I'm fairly certain that phrasing is an important part of most Lutheran marriage ceremonies.
kamet
+0 -0
"If either you or your mate isn't Catholic, ask your priest about intermarriage requirements and possible conversion!"
"If either you or your mate isn't Catholic, ask your priest about intermarriage requirements and possible conversion!"
kamet
+0 -0
(ow.)
"If either you or your mate isn't Catholic, ask your priest about intermarriage requirements and possible conversion!"
(ow.)
"If either you or your mate isn't Catholic, ask your priest about intermarriage requirements and possible conversion!"
falseprophet
+0 -0
This summer, The motherfuckin Roman Catholic Church motherfuckin takes it on tour! See them motherfuckin live at one of fifty venues all over the motherfuckin world! And be sure to cop their new motherfuckin album, INRI, featuring the new hit motherfuckin single "This Priest Is Totally Rockin' My Can (I Never Thought It Could Be Like This)" and music motherfuckin video directed by Spike motherfuckin Jonze! Motherfuckin.
It's The Roman Motherfuckin Catholic Church. Tickets available through Tick Motherfuckin Etmaster, On Sale Now!
This summer, The motherfuckin Roman Catholic Church motherfuckin takes it on tour! See them motherfuckin live at one of fifty venues all over the motherfuckin world! And be sure to cop their new motherfuckin album, INRI, featuring the new hit motherfuckin single "This Priest Is Totally Rockin' My Can (I Never Thought It Could Be Like This)" and music motherfuckin video directed by Spike motherfuckin Jonze! Motherfuckin.
It's The Roman Motherfuckin Catholic Church. Tickets available through Tick Motherfuckin Etmaster, On Sale Now!
pogo
+0 -0
Actually, the percentage of Catholic priests convicted of child molestation is LOWER than for the general population.
Actually, the percentage of Catholic priests convicted of child molestation is LOWER than for the general population.
lawbot
+0 -0
Given that the RCC has historically shielded priests from prosecution (mostly by sending them to mental asylums or enclosed communities where everyone knows not to let them near children) I would guess that overall their level of pederasty is probably the same as the general population.
Given that the RCC has historically shielded priests from prosecution (mostly by sending them to mental asylums or enclosed communities where everyone knows not to let them near children) I would guess that overall their level of pederasty is probably the same as the general population.
pogo
+0 -0
You can't shield someone from this sort of prosecution, can you? I mean, people come forward and complain, name a priest, and then you get a writ of habeas corpus or whatever, to produce the accused person.
You can't shield someone from this sort of prosecution, can you? I mean, people come forward and complain, name a priest, and then you get a writ of habeas corpus or whatever, to produce the accused person.
lawbot
+1 -0
Well, unless it's prosecuted at the time, the priest accused is long gone, perhaps abroad. In any case, just because an accusation is made, it doesn't mean there will be a prosecution - prosecutors rarely bring hopeless cases, and one victim being the only witness accusing someone since hospitalised for mental illness is not a good case. By the very fact that in most cases steps were taken to prevent re-offending (this is why Massachussetts is the exception) this means that in most cases there will be few victims.
The nature of most sex crimes means that it is usually very hard to obtain a conviction, even shortly after the crime takes place.
Anyway, remember that the motivations of churches which have done this (and it's not only the RCC) are to avoid public scandal, but also to punish and protect other potential victims. To have done so ignores the vital importance of the publicity of the criminal process, but this has not been done out of entirely base reasons (except perhaps in Massachussetts).
Well, unless it's prosecuted at the time, the priest accused is long gone, perhaps abroad. In any case, just because an accusation is made, it doesn't mean there will be a prosecution - prosecutors rarely bring hopeless cases, and one victim being the only witness accusing someone since hospitalised for mental illness is not a good case. By the very fact that in most cases steps were taken to prevent re-offending (this is why Massachussetts is the exception) this means that in most cases there will be few victims.
The nature of most sex crimes means that it is usually very hard to obtain a conviction, even shortly after the crime takes place.
Anyway, remember that the motivations of churches which have done this (and it's not only the RCC) are to avoid public scandal, but also to punish and protect other potential victims. To have done so ignores the vital importance of the publicity of the criminal process, but this has not been done out of entirely base reasons (except perhaps in Massachussetts).
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I hate agreeing with Lawbot, but he's rock solid here. My wife prosecutes for a living here in the States, and his description of sex crimes is very accurate unfortunately. If you can discredit a witness, or cover up for a decent amount of time before charges are considered, you will almost always got off (no pun this time). I am chubbying Lawbot, and it breaks my heart.
I hate agreeing with Lawbot, but he's rock solid here. My wife prosecutes for a living here in the States, and his description of sex crimes is very accurate unfortunately. If you can discredit a witness, or cover up for a decent amount of time before charges are considered, you will almost always got off (no pun this time). I am chubbying Lawbot, and it breaks my heart.
pogo
+0 -0
Sorry, but with your avaticon and user name, it's just hilarious to have you talking about sex crimes. But anyway, the priests were unfortunatly not hiddena way, but often transferred to other parishes where they continues their crimes. The priestly prosecutions often had dozens of complainants. My only point is not to tar the whole Church or think it is a particularly onerous breeder of this deviant behavior.
Sorry, but with your avaticon and user name, it's just hilarious to have you talking about sex crimes. But anyway, the priests were unfortunatly not hiddena way, but often transferred to other parishes where they continues their crimes. The priestly prosecutions often had dozens of complainants. My only point is not to tar the whole Church or think it is a particularly onerous breeder of this deviant behavior.
lawbot
+0 -0
That really was only in Massachussetts.
That really was only in Massachussetts.
hedonismbot
+4 -0
I still hold the best potty excuse was Beef in heaven. "I need to see a man about a famous urinating horse" It shows both class, and crass.
I still hold the best potty excuse was Beef in heaven. "I need to see a man about a famous urinating horse" It shows both class, and crass.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
"...which I am considering buying." You can't leave that off, it's what makes the sentence just a little too long, and the joke that much better.
"...which I am considering buying." You can't leave that off, it's what makes the sentence just a little too long, and the joke that much better.
chaesar
+0 -0
I gave my boutiquey picture frame away on Freecycle. I sold a Longaberger basket for straight cash.
I gave my boutiquey picture frame away on Freecycle. I sold a Longaberger basket for straight cash.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Apu was a monkey. He wore a fez.
Apu was a monkey. He wore a fez.
gouldgonewild
+1 -0
Also, Norman, I am not Jesus.
Also, Norman, I am not Jesus.
spinynorman
+0 -0
whew, I was worried
I mean, the shit I say on here
whew, I was worried
I mean, the shit I say on here
gouldgonewild
+17 -0
MAN, GOT YOU. I TOTALLY AM JESUS. YOU'RE FUCKED NOW
MAN, GOT YOU. I TOTALLY AM JESUS. YOU'RE FUCKED NOW
spinynorman
+14 -0
JESUS, YOU SNEAKY FUCKER
YOU GOT ME AGAIN
*roll credits*
JESUS, YOU SNEAKY FUCKER
YOU GOT ME AGAIN
*roll credits*
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Ahahahahahaha.
Ahahahahahaha.
gouldgonewild
+2 -1
After the credits:
*Jesus enters his large mansion home. There is a man facing the other direction.*
Mysterious Stranger: "You're not the only messiah you know."
*Turns around. Is Samuel L. Jackson*
"My name is Moses. I am here to talk to you about the holy avenger initiative."
After the credits:
*Jesus enters his large mansion home. There is a man facing the other direction.*
Mysterious Stranger: "You're not the only messiah you know."
*Turns around. Is Samuel L. Jackson*
"My name is Moses. I am here to talk to you about the holy avenger initiative."
hamscout
+1 -0
*I turn to my wife, mirroring her puzzled look*
We stuck around for that?!? I don't even know who the fuck that was!
*I turn to my wife, mirroring her puzzled look*
We stuck around for that?!? I don't even know who the fuck that was!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
You don't know Nick Fury? Am I just a nerd, and that isn't actually common knowledge?
You don't know Nick Fury? Am I just a nerd, and that isn't actually common knowledge?
hamscout
+0 -0
I just never read many comics as a kid (dad wouldn't buy anything such as fun materials). So, I'm just an under-educated nerd wanna be. A Nerferder, if you will.
I just never read many comics as a kid (dad wouldn't buy anything such as fun materials). So, I'm just an under-educated nerd wanna be. A Nerferder, if you will.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I enjoyed the P.S. very much as well. For me, the best comic made movie would be the Civil War story. It is so intense. Plus, Cpt. America dies, and that is just fine.
I enjoyed the P.S. very much as well. For me, the best comic made movie would be the Civil War story. It is so intense. Plus, Cpt. America dies, and that is just fine.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
To be technical, Captain America doesn't die until after the Civil War books. Wow, who thought you could like a nerd on assetbar
To be technical, Captain America doesn't die until after the Civil War books. Wow, who thought you could like a nerd on assetbar
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Marvel movies kick ass dude. The Incredible Hulk looks killer.
Marvel movies kick ass dude. The Incredible Hulk looks killer.
charchar
+0 -0
Edward Norton's role makes me feel conflicted. He's one of my favourite actors...but the Hulk is possibly my least favourite superhero.
My faith hangs in the balance!
Edward Norton's role makes me feel conflicted. He's one of my favourite actors...but the Hulk is possibly my least favourite superhero.
My faith hangs in the balance!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
This was my initial feeling. Ed is one of my favourites as well. We share a birthday. However, I was somewhat reassured by the trailer, which made the movie look at the very least, enjoyable.
This was my initial feeling. Ed is one of my favourites as well. We share a birthday. However, I was somewhat reassured by the trailer, which made the movie look at the very least, enjoyable.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i don't get it...didn't they come out with a Hulk movie just a few years ago? what in the dogg.
i don't get it...didn't they come out with a Hulk movie just a few years ago? what in the dogg.
gouldgonewild
+2 -0
Well...I don't know if you actually care, but if you do, it's because Marvel just got their own studio for movies and such, and they are doing their own intro movie for every hero that's in the Avengers, before they do a kick ass Avengers movie and blow our minds
Well...I don't know if you actually care, but if you do, it's because Marvel just got their own studio for movies and such, and they are doing their own intro movie for every hero that's in the Avengers, before they do a kick ass Avengers movie and blow our minds
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man i'm glad somebody's Paying Attention.
chub para ti.
man i'm glad somebody's Paying Attention.
chub para ti.
aelindil
+0 -0
This was my exact same reaction. Exact same.
This was my exact same reaction. Exact same.
techiebabe
+0 -0
On opening night for the movie, as soon as they mentioned S.H.I.E.L.D., I go, 'Sweet! I wonder who's gonna play Nick Fury'. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to wait long to find out.
On opening night for the movie, as soon as they mentioned S.H.I.E.L.D., I go, 'Sweet! I wonder who's gonna play Nick Fury'. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to wait long to find out.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea at first I thought that casting Samuel L. Jackson as him was just pandering, but then I hit the Wikipedia and apparently Ultimate Nick Fury was actually based on him. I was still working with the classic image I remembered from the Saturday morning Marvel Action Hour.
Yea at first I thought that casting Samuel L. Jackson as him was just pandering, but then I hit the Wikipedia and apparently Ultimate Nick Fury was actually based on him. I was still working with the classic image I remembered from the Saturday morning Marvel Action Hour.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
He even jests at one point in The Ultimates (volume 1, if you're looking at a trade), which is the Ultimate version of Avengers, that if someone were to play him in a movie, it would be Samuel L. Jackson
He even jests at one point in The Ultimates (volume 1, if you're looking at a trade), which is the Ultimate version of Avengers, that if someone were to play him in a movie, it would be Samuel L. Jackson
tekende
+0 -0
I think it's still pandering. I'm fairly certain they had this planned since they first put Fury in the Ultimate universe. (I mean, not this specifically , but for Jackson to play Fury in a movie.)
I think it's still pandering. I'm fairly certain they had this planned since they first put Fury in the Ultimate universe. (I mean, not this specifically , but for Jackson to play Fury in a movie.)
steev_dayv
+0 -0
My buddy saw Iron Man before I had and went to see it again with me when I saw it. He made me wait for the P.S. not because he knew who Nick Fury was, but simply because he knew who Sammy Jack was. He is a huge Snakes fan.
My buddy saw Iron Man before I had and went to see it again with me when I saw it. He made me wait for the P.S. not because he knew who Nick Fury was, but simply because he knew who Sammy Jack was. He is a huge Snakes fan.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
gormster
+0 -0
So kiss me goodbye... Honey I'm gonna make it out alive
So kiss me goodbye... Honey I'm gonna make it out alive
gormster
+1 -0
So kiss me goodbye... Honey I'm gonna make it out alive
So kiss me goodbye... Honey I'm gonna make it out alive
cbtbone
+0 -0
Chubby for capturing how irritatingly repetitive that song is.
Chubby for capturing how irritatingly repetitive that song is.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I think before the credits roll we should have a shot of you burning in Hell and then the credits should play yakety sax.
I think before the credits roll we should have a shot of you burning in Hell and then the credits should play yakety sax.
kamet
+1 -0
"I'm going to hell for that bit. And you're all comin with me. Don't try to get out of it 'I didn't laugh at that bit, Jesus, Please!'"
"I'm going to hell for that bit. And you're all comin with me. Don't try to get out of it 'I didn't laugh at that bit, Jesus, Please!'"
hamscout
+0 -0
Ted Kennedy. Good senator, but a bad date. You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home at four o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! What's the matter with me? Jesus, where are my pants!? Holy shit!"
Leary-Chub for setting up another TK shot!
Ted Kennedy. Good senator, but a bad date. You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home at four o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! What's the matter with me? Jesus, where are my pants!? Holy shit!"
Leary-Chub for setting up another TK shot!
kamet
+0 -0
The words "Jesus! Where are my pants!", in that exact tone of voice, come out of my mouth at least 3 times a week.
The words "Jesus! Where are my pants!", in that exact tone of voice, come out of my mouth at least 3 times a week.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
With a last name like Gould, though, I totally could have been
With a last name like Gould, though, I totally could have been
pogo
+1 -0
So, what is your avaticon again, a bad tattoo of a hippie?
So, what is your avaticon again, a bad tattoo of a hippie?
spinynorman
+0 -0
I believe it's a drawing of himself.
I believe it's a drawing of himself.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
True although my hair is quite shorter now. It's growing back though
True although my hair is quite shorter now. It's growing back though
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
So I guess I am new to this whole bbcode thing. How does one post a picture from, say, flickr?
So I guess I am new to this whole bbcode thing. How does one post a picture from, say, flickr?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You paste the url of the image, then put img in brackets at the front and /img in brackets at the end.
I'm also trying to find a non-dickish way to tell you that you can just click the word BBcode above the Post button for instructions.
You paste the url of the image, then put img in brackets at the front and /img in brackets at the end.
I'm also trying to find a non-dickish way to tell you that you can just click the word BBcode above the Post button for instructions.
gouldgonewild
+0 -1
A ha. Well I didn't even see that thing, so thanks.
A ha. Well I didn't even see that thing, so thanks.
miseryandthesun
+4 -0
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
is it...is it really that bad?
is it...is it really that bad?
loneal
+0 -0
Nope, you are cute! I'm worried about the clothing hanging off the lamp, though. It does not recommend your character to the ladies.
Nope, you are cute! I'm worried about the clothing hanging off the lamp, though. It does not recommend your character to the ladies.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I think the clothing may be hanging from a chair or some such thing in front of the lamp, it seems highly unlikely that the edge of a lampshade would support the clothes in that manner.
I think the clothing may be hanging from a chair or some such thing in front of the lamp, it seems highly unlikely that the edge of a lampshade would support the clothes in that manner.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Awww, thanks loneal. Right back atcha. That's just a pair of shorts that haven't been put in the dresser(which they are sitting on) yet.
Awww, thanks loneal. Right back atcha. That's just a pair of shorts that haven't been put in the dresser(which they are sitting on) yet.
spinynorman
+0 -0
NOT Jesus.
NOT Jesus.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Told you. Pretty accurate illustration, though
Told you. Pretty accurate illustration, though
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
jesus was a black woman.
jesus was a black woman.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Jesus Christ was an only child
He went down to the river
and he drank and smiled
Sorry, I just listened to that album today for the first time in about 7 years.
Jesus Christ was an only child
He went down to the river
and he drank and smiled
Sorry, I just listened to that album today for the first time in about 7 years.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
And his dad was oh-so mad, should have killed that little fucker before he even had him.
Best Modest Mouse album, and anyone who thinks otherwise (unless they say Long Drive in which case... Maybe. Maybe. ) ought to be shot.
And his dad was oh-so mad, should have killed that little fucker before he even had him.
Best Modest Mouse album, and anyone who thinks otherwise (unless they say Long Drive in which case... Maybe. Maybe. ) ought to be shot.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I agree, but, admittedly, I stopped listening to them around the time the Moon & Antarctica came out (which sounds like an indie snob thing, but it isn't: it's just that I never got into M&A and kind of stopped caring about the band in general soon afterwards)...so it's kind of hard for me to say which is really the best album.
I agree, but, admittedly, I stopped listening to them around the time the Moon & Antarctica came out (which sounds like an indie snob thing, but it isn't: it's just that I never got into M&A and kind of stopped caring about the band in general soon afterwards)...so it's kind of hard for me to say which is really the best album.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I prefer Moon and Antarctica, I think that it is a hell of an album. Paper Thin Walls, 3rd Planet, all around quality
I prefer Moon and Antarctica, I think that it is a hell of an album. Paper Thin Walls, 3rd Planet, all around quality
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
We have to shoot you now, Gould. Sorry.
We have to shoot you now, Gould. Sorry.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
But, I have so many things I want to do! How long do I have?
But, I have so many things I want to do! How long do I have?
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
What am I, a doctor? I just shoot people, man. I shoot people like crazy.
What am I, a doctor? I just shoot people, man. I shoot people like crazy.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
(V-chub, sir)
But...why do you need to be a doctor to tell me when you're going to shoot me?!?!?
(V-chub, sir)
But...why do you need to be a doctor to tell me when you're going to shoot me?!?!?
pogo
+0 -0
I defintely can see the resemble between photo-you and art-you. Thanks for explaining. And congrats on learning to imbed an image. I have not gone there yet, being a words man.
I defintely can see the resemble between photo-you and art-you. Thanks for explaining. And congrats on learning to imbed an image. I have not gone there yet, being a words man.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Pictures are for the weak of mind.
Pictures are for the weak of mind.
pursesnatcher
+10 -0
You know what would be perfect in "[img][/ img]"? A picture of YOU!
You know what would be perfect in "[img][/ img]"? A picture of YOU!
catgrl131
+1 -0
Awww, you're a cutie!
Awww, you're a cutie!
gouldgonewild
+1 -0
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman
howl
+0 -0
Chubby for The Killers!
Chubby for The Killers!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Also: Thank you!
Also: Thank you!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Yeah right, prove it.
Yeah right, prove it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think you mean Abu, unless you're being incredibly racist.
I think you mean Abu, unless you're being incredibly racist.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Yeah, I guess you're right...did Apu wear a fez, though? Apu always reminded me of the Indian guy from Short Circuit.
"I am now sporting a tremendous woody"
CLASSIC
Yeah, I guess you're right...did Apu wear a fez, though? Apu always reminded me of the Indian guy from Short Circuit.
"I am now sporting a tremendous woody"
CLASSIC
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I think Moleman was a shriner.
BACK ME UP ON THIS ONE GEN-X
I think Moleman was a shriner.
BACK ME UP ON THIS ONE GEN-X
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Grandpa Simpson did buy that fez in a very early episode...
Grandpa Simpson did buy that fez in a very early episode...
ethelthefrog
+1 -0
pogo
+1 -2
Have a nice weekend, kids and contemporaries. I'm packing up my apartment and probably won't post again until Monday. Loneal, my meat dildo needs the usual, when you have time.
Have a nice weekend, kids and contemporaries. I'm packing up my apartment and probably won't post again until Monday. Loneal, my meat dildo needs the usual, when you have time.
thorfinn
+0 -0
That is just wrong on so many levels. Even for you, pogo, that statement is deplorable.
That is just wrong on so many levels. Even for you, pogo, that statement is deplorable.
invidious
+0 -0
We don't know that. He might be asking her for a swift kick to the groin. You know, one of those guys who enjoys having their genitalia crushed. One swift knee to the happy-sacks, and all that.
We don't know that. He might be asking her for a swift kick to the groin. You know, one of those guys who enjoys having their genitalia crushed. One swift knee to the happy-sacks, and all that.
featurelessvoid
+8 -0
It all depends on what his "usual" is.
First row of results for 'chainsaw' on Google Image Search. I didn't even have to add 'meat dildo' to the search. Now that I think about it, I have no desire to ever include the words 'meat dildo' in an image search.
It all depends on what his "usual" is.
First row of results for 'chainsaw' on Google Image Search. I didn't even have to add 'meat dildo' to the search. Now that I think about it, I have no desire to ever include the words 'meat dildo' in an image search.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Chubby for making me picture the guy in the green shirt hopping down and saying "Thanks, same time next week?"
Chubby for making me picture the guy in the green shirt hopping down and saying "Thanks, same time next week?"
drskradley
+0 -0
I AM REALLY CURIOUS WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK THE CONTEXT OF THAT PICTURE WAS
And yet also, I'm not.
I AM REALLY CURIOUS WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK THE CONTEXT OF THAT PICTURE WAS
And yet also, I'm not.
pogo
+0 -0
I can't tell if you're kidding. I hope you are kidding. If you're not kidding, work the meat dildo.
I can't tell if you're kidding. I hope you are kidding. If you're not kidding, work the meat dildo.
loneal
+3 -0
I'm flipping you off REAL HARD right now, Pogo.
I'll see you on Sunday.
I'm flipping you off REAL HARD right now, Pogo.
I'll see you on Sunday.
tekende
+4 -0
"I hope you can see this, because I'm doing it as hard as I can."
"I hope you can see this, because I'm doing it as hard as I can."
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
You see, the moon has one third the gravitational pull of earth
You see, the moon has one third the gravitational pull of earth
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You and your "three dimensions". We have five...thousand!
You and your "three dimensions". We have five...thousand!
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
"Hey man, they're moonin' us."
"Impossible! We are the Mooninites!"
"Hey man, they're moonin' us."
"Impossible! We are the Mooninites!"
hamscout
+0 -0
On the Moon, nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with Moonrocks.
... and smoke while you are doing so!
On the Moon, nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with Moonrocks.
... and smoke while you are doing so!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
...did you mention the spelling?
...did you mention the spelling?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
This is moonijuana.
This is moonijuana.
kamet
+0 -0
We are excellent Spellers. Tell them Errr.
We are excellent Spellers. Tell them Errr.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
What kind of creature derives nourishment from his own farts?
What kind of creature derives nourishment from his own farts?
cromar
+0 -0
If only this were possible under the First Law of Thermodynamics! The world would be a better... place?
If only this were possible under the First Law of Thermodynamics! The world would be a better... place?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito!
Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito! Vandalasito!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
f...a...r...t
f...a...r...t
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
This ATHF bit always got me good, as I used to do this thing where I'd stick the middle finger up as hard as I could (and just the middle finger, none of that half-knuckling the index and ring fingers), so hard that it would kind of start to bend, kind of convex to the palm, and I'd say:
"See how it bends? That's how much I hate you! "
This ATHF bit always got me good, as I used to do this thing where I'd stick the middle finger up as hard as I could (and just the middle finger, none of that half-knuckling the index and ring fingers), so hard that it would kind of start to bend, kind of convex to the palm, and I'd say:
"See how it bends? That's how much I hate you! "
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Honestly, at first, I didn't get the "I'll see you on Sunday" part
Honestly, at first, I didn't get the "I'll see you on Sunday" part
morypcaina
+0 -0
V-chub.
(please)
V-chub.
(please)
pogo
+0 -0
Right behind the church, as usual.
Right behind the church, as usual.
spinynorman
+0 -0
This is the best Christmas ever!!!!
This is the best Christmas ever!!!!
skoora
+2 -0
Once, a man in a fez decided that I was not alright. I am now dead.
Once, a man in a fez decided that I was not alright. I am now dead.
gladi8orrex
+7 -1
lol fenz. adder dat befez gets trixy an insteds of meat dilildos befez all lie abot old peps an insted bein' rood abot glass he wan put your face in it instead.
i tells u four tings 1 of them is a lie
i like pizza
ray ramono is funny
i know the names of 3 kiss songs
i has 1000 dollahs cold cash on ma desk
lol fenz. adder dat befez gets trixy an insteds of meat dilildos befez all lie abot old peps an insted bein' rood abot glass he wan put your face in it instead.
i like pizza
ray ramono is funny
i know the names of 3 kiss songs
i has 1000 dollahs cold cash on ma desk
gouldgonewild
+2 -0
I'm going to guess that you don't have 1000 dollars on your desk?
I'm going to guess that you don't have 1000 dollars on your desk?
squares
+2 -0
good guess but by deductive reasoning we realize that he does, because ray ramono sucks balls.
good guess but by deductive reasoning we realize that he does, because ray ramono sucks balls.
gouldgonewild
+1 -0
But I mean..who knows the name of three Kiss songs?
But I mean..who knows the name of three Kiss songs?
daidai
+0 -0
Who the fuck likes pizza, anyway?
Who the fuck likes pizza, anyway?
fineoakstructure
+7 -0
come on do you like 2 eat pizza
come on do you like 2 eat pizza
spinynorman
+0 -0
Okay, that one I couldn't understand. Part of it seems to be in Turkish.
Okay, that one I couldn't understand. Part of it seems to be in Turkish.
tekende
+0 -0
Lol fez. After that Beef gets tricky and instead of meat dildos Beef's all lying about old peeps and instead of being rude about glass he wants to put your face in it instead. (I don't undertsand that last bit.)
Lol fez. After that Beef gets tricky and instead of meat dildos Beef's all lying about old peeps and instead of being rude about glass he wants to put your face in it instead. (I don't undertsand that last bit.)
loneal
+0 -0
lol fez. After that, Beef gets tricky and instead of meat dildos, Beef all lies about old people, and instead of being rude about glass [on the picture frame] he wants to put your face in it, instead.
I trust you to handle Three Truths and a Lie on your own.
lol fez. After that, Beef gets tricky and instead of meat dildos, Beef all lies about old people, and instead of being rude about glass [on the picture frame] he wants to put your face in it, instead.
I trust you to handle Three Truths and a Lie on your own.
loneal
+2 -0
Unless "befez" has stopped standing for Beef and started standing for the man who is actually befezzed.
Unless "befez" has stopped standing for Beef and started standing for the man who is actually befezzed.
tekende
+0 -0
Ohhhh.
Ohhhh.
loneal
+0 -0
This is what you get for beating my post by like twenty seconds. You get your comprehension expanded.
This is what you get for beating my post by like twenty seconds. You get your comprehension expanded.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
"Hahaha! After that beef gets tricky, and instead of meat dildos, beef lies about old people, and instead of being rude about the gift, he wants a picture of of you for the frame."
"Hahaha! After that beef gets tricky, and instead of meat dildos, beef lies about old people, and instead of being rude about the gift, he wants a picture of of you for the frame."
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Wow, we are so awesome, tekende and loneal
Wow, we are so awesome, tekende and loneal
tekende
+0 -0
Your interpretation is quite different. I think we need achilleselbow's take on this one.
Your interpretation is quite different. I think we need achilleselbow's take on this one.
daidai
+0 -0
The chubby:lame ratio for gladi8orrex has shifted to an insane degree in the past few weeks.
The chubby:lame ratio for gladi8orrex has shifted to an insane degree in the past few weeks.
achilleselbow
+7 -0
This is all I could think of:
This is all I could think of:
miseryandthesun
+1 -0
It's been ages since I've been as disappointed with a book as I was by White Noise.
Fuck off, Meat Dilildo.
It's been ages since I've been as disappointed with a book as I was by White Noise.
Fuck off, Meat Dilildo.
possums
+0 -0
Go fuck yourself. That book is awesome. As is Don de Lillo.
Go fuck yourself. That book is awesome. As is Don de Lillo.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
The eagle is crying because he loves Don de Lillo.
The eagle is crying because he loves Don de Lillo.
samcc
+0 -0
Word!
Word!
hamscout
+0 -0
"DILILDO,... DILILDO... French , is it?"
"DILILDO,... DILILDO... French , is it?"
drskradley
+2 -0
" Shut up! Shut up! Sex, sex, gotta get sex into the ad somehow ....ah, I see...a naked woman...in a bath, holing a piece of string. Excellent, excellent - need a doctor's opinion...a naked woman, in a bath, with a doctor. No, too sexy - put an archbishop there, it'll take the curse off it. Ummmm....family values missing...a boy, a girl, and a dog are there - the boy and girl are admiring the string, the dog is admiring the archbishop, who is blessing the string. Ummm....international flavours missing, make the archbishop...Greek Orthodox! Wait! Why not Archbishop... <QUOTATION MEMORY END> "
" Shut up! Shut up! Sex, sex, gotta get sex into the ad somehow ....ah, I see...a naked woman...in a bath, holing a piece of string. Excellent, excellent - need a doctor's opinion...a naked woman, in a bath, with a doctor. No, too sexy - put an archbishop there, it'll take the curse off it. Ummmm....family values missing...a boy, a girl, and a dog are there - the boy and girl are admiring the string, the dog is admiring the archbishop, who is blessing the string. Ummm....international flavours missing, make the archbishop...Greek Orthodox! Wait! Why not Archbishop... <QUOTATION MEMORY END> "
wfl
+0 -0
That would make me so much happier if just a little more effort was put into the photoshop job :( Sadly, the meat is more like "beef & beef hearts" than a full on quality burger.
Assetbar made me cry this afternoon.
That would make me so much happier if just a little more effort was put into the photoshop job :( Sadly, the meat is more like "beef & beef hearts" than a full on quality burger.
Assetbar made me cry this afternoon.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
As I've said before, all my artwork is done with nothing more than MS Paint and a liberal arts education. It's like a limbless man painting with a brush held between his teeth, and also he is retarded.
As I've said before, all my artwork is done with nothing more than MS Paint and a liberal arts education. It's like a limbless man painting with a brush held between his teeth, and also he is retarded.
loneal
+0 -0
My parents have one of these paintings and it's about seventy-five times better than anything I could ever dream of painting.
My parents have one of these paintings and it's about seventy-five times better than anything I could ever dream of painting.
skoora
+0 -0
This guy gets a chubby just for confusing me.
This guy gets a chubby just for confusing me.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
A comment left by steev_dayv was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, instantkarma, DrSkradley, Genkisudo)
A comment left by steev_dayv was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, instantkarma, DrSkradley, Genkisudo)
thorfinn
+0 -0
You were lamed to make a point, that shit will not be tolerated here.
You were lamed to make a point, that shit will not be tolerated here.
steev_dayv
+2 -0
One man's shit is another man's soap.
One man's shit is another man's soap.
thorfinn
+2 -0
No, I don't believe it is. I have never heard of this shit soap you speak of
No, I don't believe it is. I have never heard of this shit soap you speak of
invidious
+0 -0
It's called "Zest."
It's called "Zest."
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Dilildos
Solo play, the sensitive way.
Dilildos
Solo play, the sensitive way.
wittyname
+2 -0
Molly is still going to go with the headpiece that looks like a snake is eating her head. I like this choice.
Molly is still going to go with the headpiece that looks like a snake is eating her head. I like this choice.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
What is going on with Beef's shirt? Is it an Old West theme wedding?
Because if so, get out of my planner
What is going on with Beef's shirt? Is it an Old West theme wedding?
Because if so, get out of my planner
irondave
+0 -0
How about Cowboy Teddy Bears? Could you do Cowboy Teddy Bears?
How about Cowboy Teddy Bears? Could you do Cowboy Teddy Bears?
kamet
+0 -0
I've seen trolls as a wedding theme. No lie. It was frightening.
I've seen trolls as a wedding theme. No lie. It was frightening.
cromar
+0 -0
Was this in Finland?
Was this in Finland?
kamet
+0 -0
I do know of the Scandinavian love of the Troll. But no. This was in Kansas. Even MORE creepy.
I do know of the Scandinavian love of the Troll. But no. This was in Kansas. Even MORE creepy.
irondave
+0 -0
Were these the conventional, cute souvenir-store trolls, or scary kind?
Were these the conventional, cute souvenir-store trolls, or scary kind?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
If it was the scary kind it was their own fault for having the wedding on a bridge.
If it was the scary kind it was their own fault for having the wedding on a bridge.
cromar
+0 -0
All those damn Nordic peoples are the same to me...
All those damn Nordic peoples are the same to me...
holyq
+0 -0
Someday I hope to have a wedding just like Roast Beef's, only with hookers and clowns.............. in fact forget the wedding.
And people wonder why I'm still single.
Someday I hope to have a wedding just like Roast Beef's, only with hookers and clowns.............. in fact forget the wedding.
And people wonder why I'm still single.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Because you paraphrase Abridged Yugioh. Only the person who makes Abridged Yugioh can be notsingle.
Because you paraphrase Abridged Yugioh. Only the person who makes Abridged Yugioh can be notsingle.
thejungleface
+0 -0
you know what would be perfect in here?
you know what would be perfect in here?
loneal
+0 -0
One of those chairs that you sit in and it massages you?
One of those chairs that you sit in and it massages you?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Have a seat and flip my vibrate switch
Have a seat and flip my vibrate switch
leftsaidtim
+0 -0
Oh, I know this one ...
...
A pony?
Oh, I know this one ...
...
A pony?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
A Jackal? Jackal! It's a jackal! It looks like a jackal! Jackal? Jackal!
A Jackal? Jackal! It's a jackal! It looks like a jackal! Jackal? Jackal!
tekende
+0 -0
If it wasn't right the first time you said it, why would it be right the next ten times?! GOD!
If it wasn't right the first time you said it, why would it be right the next ten times?! GOD!
gmm
+0 -0
Achilleeselbow and Tekende are Assetbar's go-to comedy duo. You guys should have a show. With Loneal as the long suffering straight-woman!
Achilleeselbow and Tekende are Assetbar's go-to comedy duo. You guys should have a show. With Loneal as the long suffering straight-woman!
hamscout
+0 -0
Considering all of the gender-reassignment conversation yesterday, that idea sounds funnier than "Legal Custodians"...
... get it?
Considering all of the gender-reassignment conversation yesterday, that idea sounds funnier than "Legal Custodians"...
... get it?
achilleselbow
+0 -1
Well, obviously scenes like that would be rewritten for the television medium.
Scene: Loneal and Achilleselbow arguing about Judith Butler's interpretation of gender performativity.
Achilleselbow: ...and furthermore, she fails to reconcile her rejection of all norms with her project of liberation!
Tekende walks in with his arm around a woman with a square jaw and stubble on her legs
Tekende: Hey, guys! What did I miss?
Loneal & Achilleselbow (in unison): Oh, Tekende!
*roll credits*
Note: Tekende is still single in this pilot.
Well, obviously scenes like that would be rewritten for the television medium.
Scene: Loneal and Achilleselbow arguing about Judith Butler's interpretation of gender performativity.
Achilleselbow: ...and furthermore, she fails to reconcile her rejection of all norms with her project of liberation!
Tekende walks in with his arm around a woman with a square jaw and stubble on her legs
Tekende: Hey, guys! What did I miss?
Loneal & Achilleselbow (in unison): Oh, Tekende!
*roll credits*
Note: Tekende is still single in this pilot.
tekende
+1 -0
I think I need a better agent.
I think I need a better agent.
gmm
+0 -0
I'm a licensed divorce lawyer and looking to branch out?
I'm a licensed divorce lawyer and looking to branch out?
bixschmix
+0 -0
I think I need a better... razor?
I think I need a better... razor?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I had to add the explanatory note to make sure it had nothing to do with you. Now I can't even make jokes about Tekende hooking up with trannies - see what your romance has done?
I had to add the explanatory note to make sure it had nothing to do with you. Now I can't even make jokes about Tekende hooking up with trannies - see what your romance has done?
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I wish I had a chubby left for you, at least one that wouldn't make you walk funny for a day or two
I wish I had a chubby left for you, at least one that wouldn't make you walk funny for a day or two
falseprophet
+0 -0
You see what you get when you mess with the Orphans?
You see what you get when you mess with the Orphans?
octafish
+0 -0
We're gonna RAIN on you Warriors!
We're gonna RAIN on you Warriors!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I SAID, CAN YOU DIG IT?
I SAID, CAN YOU DIG IT?
octafish
+2 -0
Can you count, suckers? I say the future is ours... If you can count.
Now, look what we have here before us. We got the Saracens sitting next to the Jones Street Boys. We've got the Moonrunners right by the Van Cortlandt Rangers. Nobody is wasting nobody. That... is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be. You're standing right now with 9 delegates from 100 gangs. And there's a hundred more. That's 20 thousand hard core members! 40,000 counting affiliates, and 20,000 more not organized, but ready to fight. 60,000 soldiers. Now there ain't but 20,000 police in the whole town. Can you dig it? Can you dig it? CAAAANNN YOUUUU DIG ITTT!
YEAH!
Now here's the sum total. One gang could run this city. One gang. nothing would move, without us allowing it to happen. Tax the crime syndicates, the police, because we%u2019ve got the street, suckers! CAAAANNN YOUUUU DIG ITTT!
YEAAH!
The problem in the past, has been the man turning us against one another! We have been unable to say the truth, because we have been fighting for 10 square feet of ground. Our turf. Our little piece of turf. That's crap brothers! The turf is ours by right, because it's our terms. All we have to do is keep up the general truce. We take over one borough at a time. Secure our territory. Secure our turf. Because it's ALLLL... OURRRR... TURRRFFF!
Can you count, suckers? I say the future is ours... If you can count.
Now, look what we have here before us. We got the Saracens sitting next to the Jones Street Boys. We've got the Moonrunners right by the Van Cortlandt Rangers. Nobody is wasting nobody. That... is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be. You're standing right now with 9 delegates from 100 gangs. And there's a hundred more. That's 20 thousand hard core members! 40,000 counting affiliates, and 20,000 more not organized, but ready to fight. 60,000 soldiers. Now there ain't but 20,000 police in the whole town. Can you dig it? Can you dig it? CAAAANNN YOUUUU DIG ITTT!
YEAH!
Now here's the sum total. One gang could run this city. One gang. nothing would move, without us allowing it to happen. Tax the crime syndicates, the police, because we%u2019ve got the street, suckers! CAAAANNN YOUUUU DIG ITTT!
YEAAH!
The problem in the past, has been the man turning us against one another! We have been unable to say the truth, because we have been fighting for 10 square feet of ground. Our turf. Our little piece of turf. That's crap brothers! The turf is ours by right, because it's our terms. All we have to do is keep up the general truce. We take over one borough at a time. Secure our territory. Secure our turf. Because it's ALLLL... OURRRR... TURRRFFF!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Thank you for going all the way. V-chub. Sweet movie(if you know how to watch it), and pretty decent videogame
Thank you for going all the way. V-chub. Sweet movie(if you know how to watch it), and pretty decent videogame
kamet
+0 -0
Are you sure that isn't Will and Grace?
Are you sure that isn't Will and Grace?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Dialogue sounds a lot like Frasier .
Dialogue sounds a lot like Frasier .
hamscout
+0 -0
Tekende: Well, Achilleselbow, you're so corpulent that when you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa, you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.
Hamscout: Huh. This is the smartest forum on the net...
Tekende: Well, Achilleselbow, you're so corpulent that when you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa, you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.
Hamscout: Huh. This is the smartest forum on the net...
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Christ people, just because people are amusing doesn't mean they should deserve to be given TV shows, TV shows are special things, given to the most worthy people of any society, for example "Everybody loves raymond", or "Dr Phill" or "That show where Paris Hilton and the other slag visit farms and shit" or the gelatinous slabs of humanity that populate the "Big Brother" houses. People of artistic, personal and professional integrity. Pinnacles of our culture, not just to oft amusing people on an obscure discussion site.
Christ people, just because people are amusing doesn't mean they should deserve to be given TV shows, TV shows are special things, given to the most worthy people of any society, for example "Everybody loves raymond", or "Dr Phill" or "That show where Paris Hilton and the other slag visit farms and shit" or the gelatinous slabs of humanity that populate the "Big Brother" houses. People of artistic, personal and professional integrity. Pinnacles of our culture, not just to oft amusing people on an obscure discussion site.
irondave
+0 -0
How did you get through that without mentioning Arsenio Hall?
How did you get through that without mentioning Arsenio Hall?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Pinnacles! What news from the north?
Pinnacles! What news from the north?
maximus
+0 -0
Cardinal Biggles! Fetch the shopworn rants about high and low culture!
Cardinal Biggles! Fetch the shopworn rants about high and low culture!
pogo
+0 -0
I'll betcha these are references.
I'll betcha these are references.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Shopworn? 90% of the things said on this site are merely repetitions of catchphrases, my sin is hardly unique in that respect.
To reply to Achilleselbow's question: The Acheans advance my lord! But Hark they bring battle rhinoes! swift of foot and fleeting of eyebrow...
Shopworn? 90% of the things said on this site are merely repetitions of catchphrases, my sin is hardly unique in that respect.
To reply to Achilleselbow's question: The Acheans advance my lord! But Hark they bring battle rhinoes! swift of foot and fleeting of eyebrow...
pogo
+0 -0
I want to be the clueless Dad on the show! Pleeeeeze!
I want to be the clueless Dad on the show! Pleeeeeze!
aelindil
+1 -0
Typecast.
Typecast.
mattfish
+0 -0
Some guys may be alright. Maybe. Maybe.
I have yet to see anyone be more alright than fez
Some guys may be alright. Maybe. Maybe.
I have yet to see anyone be more alright than fez
agentstinky
+0 -0
I definitely hope Fez-Roast Beef comes back.
I definitely hope Fez-Roast Beef comes back.
coldfrog
+0 -0
This set of strips is pretty awesome because one of my friends is getting married tomorrow and so I have found my best source of advice.
This set of strips is pretty awesome because one of my friends is getting married tomorrow and so I have found my best source of advice.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
The top right corner is basically what happens in most Orhan Pamuk novels.
The top right corner is basically what happens in most Orhan Pamuk novels.
speth
+0 -0
marriage sucks
marriage sucks
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Yor icon sux
Yor icon sux
catgrl131
+1 -0
Roombas suck
Roombas suck
achilleselbow
+0 -1
...clits suck
THERE I SAID IT
...clits suck
THERE I SAID IT
cromar
+0 -0
...suck clits
AND LOVE THEM
...suck clits
AND LOVE THEM
speth
+0 -0
shut the HELL up
shut the HELL up
glyc
+0 -0
...and now in the I TOLD YOU SO department
Achewood is a website
If you follow the above link, you see none other than Al Capp backing me up when I said yesterday that you can read a person's personality from their face. That is weird because I was just talking about it yesterday.
Also I saw that yesterday someone said that I am that f---tard alreadyinuse. I deny that. That is a terrible thing to say.
...and now in the I TOLD YOU SO department
Achewood is a website
If you follow the above link, you see none other than Al Capp backing me up when I said yesterday that you can read a person's personality from their face. That is weird because I was just talking about it yesterday.
Also I saw that yesterday someone said that I am that f---tard alreadyinuse. I deny that. That is a terrible thing to say.
gladi8orrex
+5 -0
sonds lik somefink dat ffuckturd alerdtinuse wuld say.
sonds lik somefink dat ffuckturd alerdtinuse wuld say.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
amen
amen
glyc
+3 -0
wow. Well there is no rebutting gladi8orrex, is there? It's like the village mute suddenly pointing his finger at you and speaking: "J'accuse!"
wow. Well there is no rebutting gladi8orrex, is there? It's like the village mute suddenly pointing his finger at you and speaking: "J'accuse!"
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
We're all indebted to Gladi8orrex Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.
We're all indebted to Gladi8orrex Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Blazing Saddles? Nobody?
Blazing Saddles? Nobody?
octafish
+0 -0
We don't need no steenkin explanations!*
*Yes I know is me referencing, Mel Brooks referencing The Treasure of the Sierra Madre , stop wasting my time, find something useful to do.
We don't need no steenkin explanations!*
*Yes I know is me referencing, Mel Brooks referencing The Treasure of the Sierra Madre , stop wasting my time, find something useful to do.
cromar
+0 -0
Man, I thought that was from Cheech and Chong. Now my whole life is ruined. Thanks.
Man, I thought that was from Cheech and Chong. Now my whole life is ruined. Thanks.
hamscout
+0 -0
I thought it was Weird Al in UHF referencing Mel Brooks referencing Sierra Madre ...
"...we don't neeed no stinkin' BADGERS!!"
I thought it was Weird Al in UHF referencing Mel Brooks referencing Sierra Madre ...
"...we don't neeed no stinkin' BADGERS!!"
maximus
+0 -0
run gladi8orrex, run!
run gladi8orrex, run!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Sorry, telling people they shouldn't be together because their faces are incompatible is severely retarded, no matter which comic strip told you different.
Sorry, telling people they shouldn't be together because their faces are incompatible is severely retarded, no matter which comic strip told you different.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Oh yeah? Well then why did Quasimoto have to die, smart guy?
Hmmm?
Oh yeah? Well then why did Quasimoto have to die, smart guy?
Hmmm?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
Didn't catch that anime, guy.
Didn't catch that anime, guy.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
hahaha, what? I wasn't being serious, firstly. Secondly, the hunchback totally does sound like an anime character. I'd never noticed.
P.S.- This reminded me of the xkcd, "...nah, I'm not really that into pokemon"
hahaha, what? I wasn't being serious, firstly. Secondly, the hunchback totally does sound like an anime character. I'd never noticed.
P.S.- This reminded me of the xkcd, "...nah, I'm not really that into pokemon"
falseprophet
+6 -0
When I was high school I, like most boys, was trying to be cool in exactly all the wrong ways. I decided to buy myself a Washington Capitals jersey because that is the team that plays hockey in my hometown, even though not only do I not care whether they win any games, I care very little for the sport of hockey in general like most young men of my racial persuasion. When people asked me if I was a fan, I usually told them that I was not. They then typically responded, "Oh, so you're just wearing it for the colors?" I had always presumed that this meant I was wearing it simply because I liked it aesthetically. On reflection, this not only makes me sound like a rich douchebag tossing his cash about like gism at the end of a porno shoot Is that why it is called a money shot? but also where I am from it is very likely that the question asked was designed to ascertain my gang affiliation, which in fact was a possibility that did not cross my mind until this very day.
But this is not a story about overabundance of wealth nor an overabundance of gunshot wounds, I told you this story to tell you a story about my own dorkiness: One day I was wearing this jersey and I went to my locker to get my things for my afternoon classes when I rather attractive young lady who was probably an underclassman judging by her size and my having never seen her before hur hur you make me feel BIG came up to me and said, "So is there a game tonight?"
Completely flustered, heart aflutter, and flabbergasted by this feminine attention I struggled to find the words to explain to this young lady our lack of common interest in such a way that would not render her unwanting to bone me, but I did not succeed.
I said, "Oh, s-sorry, I don't really follow soccer..."
And then I walked away like McLovin after having told her what time it was.
When I was high school I, like most boys, was trying to be cool in exactly all the wrong ways. I decided to buy myself a Washington Capitals jersey because that is the team that plays hockey in my hometown, even though not only do I not care whether they win any games, I care very little for the sport of hockey in general like most young men of my racial persuasion. When people asked me if I was a fan, I usually told them that I was not. They then typically responded, "Oh, so you're just wearing it for the colors?" I had always presumed that this meant I was wearing it simply because I liked it aesthetically. On reflection, this not only makes me sound like a rich douchebag tossing his cash about like gism at the end of a porno shoot Is that why it is called a money shot? but also where I am from it is very likely that the question asked was designed to ascertain my gang affiliation, which in fact was a possibility that did not cross my mind until this very day.
But this is not a story about overabundance of wealth nor an overabundance of gunshot wounds, I told you this story to tell you a story about my own dorkiness: One day I was wearing this jersey and I went to my locker to get my things for my afternoon classes when I rather attractive young lady who was probably an underclassman judging by her size and my having never seen her before hur hur you make me feel BIG came up to me and said, "So is there a game tonight?"
Completely flustered, heart aflutter, and flabbergasted by this feminine attention I struggled to find the words to explain to this young lady our lack of common interest in such a way that would not render her unwanting to bone me, but I did not succeed.
I said, "Oh, s-sorry, I don't really follow soccer..."
And then I walked away like McLovin after having told her what time it was.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Hahaha, V-chub for describing my entire history with women. I mean, not specifically, but the general ambiance.
Hahaha, V-chub for describing my entire history with women. I mean, not specifically, but the general ambiance.
drskradley
+0 -0
An entertaining and enjoyable read. I am proud to bestow the 3rd chubby to you - the EnGreening Chubby, if you will.
An entertaining and enjoyable read. I am proud to bestow the 3rd chubby to you - the EnGreening Chubby, if you will.
thorfinn
+0 -0
It is not engreening for all of us, many of us have raised our chubby limit so that two thirds of all comments are not green. I have mine set at 10, so only a handful of comments stand out.
It is not engreening for all of us, many of us have raised our chubby limit so that two thirds of all comments are not green. I have mine set at 10, so only a handful of comments stand out.
octafish
+0 -0
You heartless bastard, what do we have to do to make you like us?
You heartless bastard, what do we have to do to make you like us?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
It's a real challenge to impress thorfinn.
Not only does he lame people like a polio outbreak, you have to reach the SNCT* to get his attention.
*Spiny Norman Chubby Threshold: guaranteed minimum number of chubbies a Spiny Norman post receives on average.
oh god who am I kidding I'm not cut out for assetbar satire I'm such a fraud.
It's a real challenge to impress thorfinn.
Not only does he lame people like a polio outbreak, you have to reach the SNCT* to get his attention.
*Spiny Norman Chubby Threshold: guaranteed minimum number of chubbies a Spiny Norman post receives on average.
oh god who am I kidding I'm not cut out for assetbar satire I'm such a fraud.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I like the idea of me having a threshold, it just immediately gives me the image of myself flying at a million miles an hour, and I like that.
I like the idea of me having a threshold, it just immediately gives me the image of myself flying at a million miles an hour, and I like that.
capnb0b
+0 -0
Two thirds of all comments are not green? Nonsense!
Two thirds of all comments are not green? Nonsense!
irondave
+0 -0
That was a fine, fine story. Not least for making me feel less "out-of-it." For you see, I, a middle-aged white man from the midwest, knew that there can be a gang-related subtext to hockey jerseys.
That was a fine, fine story. Not least for making me feel less "out-of-it." For you see, I, a middle-aged white man from the midwest, knew that there can be a gang-related subtext to hockey jerseys.
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, gladi8orrex, invidious, gouldgonewild, flazisismuss, falseprophet, snidedk, Lumus, Charcoal, gardenhead_, bixschmix, usversusthem, Genkisudo, nphares, colorlessness)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, gladi8orrex, invidious, gouldgonewild, flazisismuss, falseprophet, snidedk, Lumus, Charcoal, gardenhead_, bixschmix, usversusthem, Genkisudo, nphares, colorlessness)
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -1
I don't think much when I read your posts. My eyes just glaze over the skyscraper of gay that you have constructed and my fingers automatically hit the lame button.
I don't think much when I read your posts. My eyes just glaze over the skyscraper of gay that you have constructed and my fingers automatically hit the lame button.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Chubbied for "skyscraper of gay".
Chubbied for "skyscraper of gay".
loneal
+0 -0
I am biting my tongue because I like you both and everyone's sick of me startin' shit.
I am biting my tongue because I like you both and everyone's sick of me startin' shit.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was actually wondering what took you so long.
I was actually wondering what took you so long.
loneal
+0 -0
I have just recently gotten back from another night out with hecci. I haven't slept in over 24 hours and many things during the night went hilariously wrong in such a way that I do not have any strength to navigate disagreement of any kind. That is what took me so long. Sorry to disappoint.
I have just recently gotten back from another night out with hecci. I haven't slept in over 24 hours and many things during the night went hilariously wrong in such a way that I do not have any strength to navigate disagreement of any kind. That is what took me so long. Sorry to disappoint.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Wooooo hecci and loneal nights out, woooooo
Wooooo hecci and loneal nights out, woooooo
bixschmix
+0 -0
I feel hell of left out on these girls nights the two of you keep having. Maybe you should plan on flying me over the pond for a premature (i.e. pre-engagement) bachelorette party.
I feel hell of left out on these girls nights the two of you keep having. Maybe you should plan on flying me over the pond for a premature (i.e. pre-engagement) bachelorette party.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
My response to any sort of intelligent debate we might have regarding the capacity of language to disparage minority groups is as follows,
https://www.thefriendsociety.com/anim.php?id=policestate&w=400&h=300
You might want to turn your sound down.
My response to any sort of intelligent debate we might have regarding the capacity of language to disparage minority groups is as follows,
https://www.thefriendsociety.com/anim.php?id=policestate&w=400&h=300
You might want to turn your sound down.
cromar
+0 -0
Damn Nordic peoples! Damn them!
Damn Nordic peoples! Damn them!
tekende
+0 -0
This is fucking histerical. Way to go, yearsinhotclaws.
This is fucking histerical. Way to go, yearsinhotclaws.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Man, I don't even know what to say about this. Just offensive for the sake of offensive? Or just utterly meaningless? *shrug* I mean, maybe if it had been funny at all.
Man, I don't even know what to say about this. Just offensive for the sake of offensive? Or just utterly meaningless? *shrug* I mean, maybe if it had been funny at all.
glyc
+0 -0
meaningless for the sake of same
meaningless for the sake of same
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, hedonismbot, snidedk, loneal, bixschmix, colorlessness)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, hedonismbot, snidedk, loneal, bixschmix, colorlessness)
maximus
+0 -0
You are cooler than a Francis Bacon portrait of Willem Dafoe.
You are cooler than a Francis Bacon portrait of Willem Dafoe.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...and that's a neat concept!
...and that's a neat concept!
loneal
+0 -0
You talk to dudes from the Bible on the phone?
You talk to dudes from the Bible on the phone?
tekende
+0 -0
Hey. Hey dude. That post was put up on Thursday. It has nothing to do with you. WHY ARE YOU STILL OBSESSING OVER IT.
Hey. Hey dude. That post was put up on Thursday. It has nothing to do with you. WHY ARE YOU STILL OBSESSING OVER IT.
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, bixschmix, usversusthem, Genkisudo, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, bixschmix, usversusthem, Genkisudo, Doc_Rostov)
loneal
+0 -0
I think we already posted those particular pictures three or four weeks ago. I hope we are compatible! I do not want a plexiglass Bobby Ray in my future. I think that would imply Hecci and I had entered a different kind of relationship.
What? Oh, a death relationship.
I think we already posted those particular pictures three or four weeks ago. I hope we are compatible! I do not want a plexiglass Bobby Ray in my future. I think that would imply Hecci and I had entered a different kind of relationship.
What? Oh, a death relationship.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
That's it, man.
I want a face reading.
I want one now.
That's it, man.
I want a face reading.
I want one now.
miseryandthesun
+3 -0
(I have been told that I look like another guy I know, Kyle. I don't know if that could have any effect on my reading, but I figured it would be best to get all the information out there in case it could push me over the edge into being pretty great according to faces.)
(I have been told that I look like another guy I know, Kyle. I don't know if that could have any effect on my reading, but I figured it would be best to get all the information out there in case it could push me over the edge into being pretty great according to faces.)
tekende
+0 -0
Please accept this virtual chubby in payment for the laughter this post gave me.
Please accept this virtual chubby in payment for the laughter this post gave me.
glyc
+0 -2
in the interest of preservation of the space on the page, I am again combining two posts with one.
achilleselbow: Am I (i0 sure? (/i) I'm not AIU? I guess if you want me to be her (him? it? then okay. It's just all in your mind what you interpret glyc as If I am or I'm not, why don't you relaz and just let me be me and let go of your SHALLOW AND PEDANTIC MIDESET VIEW OF ME YOU FUCKING PUNY MIDGET I WILL FUCKING CRUSH YOU IF YOU TRY TO PIGON WHOLE ME THATA WAY
miseryandthesun: Thank you for your enquiry. I would be pleased to give you a face reading however you have not supplied a large enough sample so the results can not be accurate. However we shall proceede anyway just for FUNNNN. Kept in mend elso chet akins diet the face reading is a subjective horse dildo airforce it will be all that it can be to me.
proceeding
well it's hard to say. you look kind of dumb. can't say which kind of dumb. but you also look kinda smart too. *closing eyes?* chunelling under the english chunnel straights of hormuze. IQ 110. plus/- 5.
but of course like i say this reading is just your compretability with me. on a platonic basis too because of my own oreotation.
andway ths has only been a demonstation not real you might really be a swell guy please submit largest sampl to know better more soon.
in all cases thank you for your interest
in the interest of preservation of the space on the page, I am again combining two posts with one.
achilleselbow: Am I (i0 sure? (/i) I'm not AIU? I guess if you want me to be her (him? it? then okay. It's just all in your mind what you interpret glyc as If I am or I'm not, why don't you relaz and just let me be me and let go of your SHALLOW AND PEDANTIC MIDESET VIEW OF ME YOU FUCKING PUNY MIDGET I WILL FUCKING CRUSH YOU IF YOU TRY TO PIGON WHOLE ME THATA WAY
miseryandthesun: Thank you for your enquiry. I would be pleased to give you a face reading however you have not supplied a large enough sample so the results can not be accurate. However we shall proceede anyway just for FUNNNN. Kept in mend elso chet akins diet the face reading is a subjective horse dildo airforce it will be all that it can be to me.
proceeding
well it's hard to say. you look kind of dumb. can't say which kind of dumb. but you also look kinda smart too. *closing eyes?* chunelling under the english chunnel straights of hormuze. IQ 110. plus/- 5.
but of course like i say this reading is just your compretability with me. on a platonic basis too because of my own oreotation.
andway ths has only been a demonstation not real you might really be a swell guy please submit largest sampl to know better more soon.
in all cases thank you for your interest
miseryandthesun
+20 -0
That's not at all how you read faces. You were pretty close (I have an IQ of 70) but let's do this step-by-step.
1. Recognize stereotypes that have a connotation to a thing.
"Your eyebrow piercing tells me that you like to receive oral sex."
2. State the thing(s).
"I think you like oral sex. Receiving it."
3. Interpret obscure details in a way that makes you feel pretty good.
"The way you're smirking makes me think that I have a good penis."
4. If you are looking at a babe's face, be sure to remind her that she is compatible with you and incompatible with anyone else except Jesus maybe if she is religious because you never want to have that talk with a girl until after you are both putting your clothes back on and you just don't care anyway.
"Come on girl I am so lonely. You would look pretty good with Jesus but he aint around."
5. Remind people that no matter how zany your assetbar posts may be, your sexual orientation is pretty socially-acceptable by most standards.
"You look pretty good in a platonic way, man. No homo."
6. Practice saying things such as "That scar above your left eye. It makes me feel as if there are deeper scars... in your vag." (Some dudes opt for heart, but honestly you may want to get straight to the point if you have stooped to face-reading in the first place.)
"Show me your box."
Definitely keep it up man you are not half bad.
That's not at all how you read faces. You were pretty close (I have an IQ of 70) but let's do this step-by-step.
1. Recognize stereotypes that have a connotation to a thing.
"Your eyebrow piercing tells me that you like to receive oral sex."
2. State the thing(s).
"I think you like oral sex. Receiving it."
3. Interpret obscure details in a way that makes you feel pretty good.
"The way you're smirking makes me think that I have a good penis."
4. If you are looking at a babe's face, be sure to remind her that she is compatible with you and incompatible with anyone else except Jesus maybe if she is religious because you never want to have that talk with a girl until after you are both putting your clothes back on and you just don't care anyway.
"Come on girl I am so lonely. You would look pretty good with Jesus but he aint around."
5. Remind people that no matter how zany your assetbar posts may be, your sexual orientation is pretty socially-acceptable by most standards.
"You look pretty good in a platonic way, man. No homo."
6. Practice saying things such as "That scar above your left eye. It makes me feel as if there are deeper scars... in your vag." (Some dudes opt for heart, but honestly you may want to get straight to the point if you have stooped to face-reading in the first place.)
"Show me your box."
Definitely keep it up man you are not half bad.
kamet
+0 -0
V fucking chub.
V fucking chub.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
V-chub. Just wow
V-chub. Just wow
glyc
+0 -0
i been served
i been served
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, snidedk, DrSkradley, Lumus, bixschmix, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, snidedk, DrSkradley, Lumus, bixschmix, Doc_Rostov)
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Man, when you've got an IQ of 100 ( plus/- 5 ), abstract, intellectual parlor tricks are the among the last things you want to be caught feebly attempting to think about.
Man, when you've got an IQ of 100 ( plus/- 5 ), abstract, intellectual parlor tricks are the among the last things you want to be caught feebly attempting to think about.
miseryandthesun
+1 -0
( plus/- the )
( plus/- the )
foea
+0 -0
Careful, he's also dangerously introspective.
Careful, he's also dangerously introspective.
cromar
+0 -0
Glyc, your ideas would be better served if you didn't put so many words between them...
I DO NOT LIKE TO READ
Glyc, your ideas would be better served if you didn't put so many words between them...
I DO NOT LIKE TO READ
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No, trust me, they really wouldn't.
No, trust me, they really wouldn't.
drskradley
+1 -0
It is possible - just go with me here - that other people, even people on this board, don't find the topic as interesting as you do.
If the fish ain't biting, after a while you gotta start thinking you're using the wrong bait.
That, or - and you may want to check this idea out - you're pushing the fucking topic a bit much and people are more interested in arguing with you about other stuff than what you want them to.
This happens, Sometimes.
It is possible - just go with me here - that other people, even people on this board, don't find the topic as interesting as you do.
If the fish ain't biting, after a while you gotta start thinking you're using the wrong bait.
That, or - and you may want to check this idea out - you're pushing the fucking topic a bit much and people are more interested in arguing with you about other stuff than what you want them to.
This happens, Sometimes.
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Lumus, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Lumus, Doc_Rostov)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
*skyscraper
*skyscraper
drskradley
+0 -0
It would be much cooler to live in a mountain than it would to live in a skyscraper. Not on a mountain - in a mountain.
Try to make the best out of the situation, I respect that. I see what you're trying, I really do.
It would be much cooler to live in a mountain than it would to live in a skyscraper. Not on a mountain - in a mountain.
Try to make the best out of the situation, I respect that. I see what you're trying, I really do.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Doesn't Osama Bin Laden live in a mountain, kinda?
Doesn't Osama Bin Laden live in a mountain, kinda?
hamscout
+0 -0
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES ARE YOU AN AGENT FOR THE DEMOCRATS IS THIS YOUR TUESDAY SURPRISE?!?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES ARE YOU AN AGENT FOR THE DEMOCRATS IS THIS YOUR TUESDAY SURPRISE?!?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This weekend my friends and I came up with a couple of politically-themed euphemisms for sex acts:
-The Missouri Compromise: When a religious Southern girl has anal sex in order to preserve her 'virginity'.
-The Munich Agreement: When a girl agrees to let you shit on her chest instead of fucking her, and afterwards you fuck her anyway.
A chubby will go to the best suggestion for "Tuesday Surprise" (or "October Surprise" if you prefer).
This weekend my friends and I came up with a couple of politically-themed euphemisms for sex acts:
-The Missouri Compromise: When a religious Southern girl has anal sex in order to preserve her 'virginity'.
-The Munich Agreement: When a girl agrees to let you shit on her chest instead of fucking her, and afterwards you fuck her anyway.
A chubby will go to the best suggestion for "Tuesday Surprise" (or "October Surprise" if you prefer).
lawbot
+0 -0
Why do Americans always associate Germans with coprophilia?
Why do Americans always associate Germans with coprophilia?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Bad experiences on package holidays i suppose.
Bonus question: which is more repugnant, coprophillia or coprophagia?
Answers in german on a postcard.
Bad experiences on package holidays i suppose.
Bonus question: which is more repugnant, coprophillia or coprophagia?
Answers in german on a postcard.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Because German shit smells the sexiest, and because German coprophiliacs tend to be hotter than British ones. Fucking hate British shitfuckers, all with their sneers...
Because German shit smells the sexiest, and because German coprophiliacs tend to be hotter than British ones. Fucking hate British shitfuckers, all with their sneers...
pogo
+0 -0
I think it would be good if you had sex with an actual person soon.
I think it would be good if you had sex with an actual person soon.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think that would be good too, pogo.
I think that would be good too, pogo.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Sounds like Pogo is offering to me... C'mon Elbox, he's remarkably spry for his age.
Sounds like Pogo is offering to me... C'mon Elbox, he's remarkably spry for his age.
pogo
+0 -0
Ahem, may I amend my statement to "sex with an actual person (aside from me)."
Ahem, may I amend my statement to "sex with an actual person (aside from me)."
falseprophet
+0 -0
-The Three-Fifths Compromise: Miscegenation.
This will probably reflect poorly on me and my choice of friends, since I have a lot of My College Suitemates And I stories like this, but My College Suitemates And I used to call interracial relationships "The Swirl," like if you get some frozen yogurt and it has the two flavors in a swirl in the cup. We often evaluated films and TV shows based on how they depicted these relationships.
For example, that horrible remake of House of Wax where Paris Hilton plays a slutty bimbo (clearly an Oscar-worthy performance) banging a black dude and they both get killed as required by the Horror Movie Hays Code? We said that " House of Wax is not Down With The Swirl."
Whereas, in Lost , the relationship depicted between Bernard and Rose is a moving story of love and loss, so naturally us douchebags reduced it to " Lost : Down With The Swirl, Awww Yeah."
That means that if, in the upcoming Star Trek movie, Uhura actually bones Kirk while not under some kind of mind control and its not an evil clone version of her, then we'll say, "J.J. Abrams: Down With The Swirl." A lifetime achievement award shall be his due.
I pray to Edwell that an image of the Official Seal of the Down With The Swirl literary prize shall soon grace the pages of assetbar.
-The Three-Fifths Compromise: Miscegenation.
This will probably reflect poorly on me and my choice of friends, since I have a lot of My College Suitemates And I stories like this, but My College Suitemates And I used to call interracial relationships "The Swirl," like if you get some frozen yogurt and it has the two flavors in a swirl in the cup. We often evaluated films and TV shows based on how they depicted these relationships.
For example, that horrible remake of House of Wax where Paris Hilton plays a slutty bimbo (clearly an Oscar-worthy performance) banging a black dude and they both get killed as required by the Horror Movie Hays Code? We said that " House of Wax is not Down With The Swirl."
Whereas, in Lost , the relationship depicted between Bernard and Rose is a moving story of love and loss, so naturally us douchebags reduced it to " Lost : Down With The Swirl, Awww Yeah."
That means that if, in the upcoming Star Trek movie, Uhura actually bones Kirk while not under some kind of mind control and its not an evil clone version of her, then we'll say, "J.J. Abrams: Down With The Swirl." A lifetime achievement award shall be his due.
I pray to Edwell that an image of the Official Seal of the Down With The Swirl literary prize shall soon grace the pages of assetbar.
edwell
+4 -0
ALT TEXT: Its equivalent of the Golden Raspberries is the Whitebread Literary Awards
ALT TEXT: Its equivalent of the Golden Raspberries is the Whitebread Literary Awards
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Simply brilliant.
For those curious: the Latin motto, translated, is...
"He approves of the mingling of peoples and their being joined together by treaties"
It's the early motto of Trinidad, back when it was a British colony.
Simply brilliant.
For those curious: the Latin motto, translated, is...
"He approves of the mingling of peoples and their being joined together by treaties"
It's the early motto of Trinidad, back when it was a British colony.
xiaomimi
+0 -0
Oh my goodness, falseprophet, have you seen today's New York Times ?
Oh my goodness, falseprophet, have you seen today's New York Times ?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Perfection.
Perfection.
cbtbone
+0 -0
If memory serves me, I think a Tuesday Surprise is when a man with an STI, say, Herpes, spends a weekend having sex with a random girl who he will never see again. Then she finds out on Tuesday that she has Herpes?
This could be changed to spending a summer fucking a random girl, only for her to get the bad news in October.
I guess what I'm trying to say is how long does it take for Herpes to manifest physically?
If memory serves me, I think a Tuesday Surprise is when a man with an STI, say, Herpes, spends a weekend having sex with a random girl who he will never see again. Then she finds out on Tuesday that she has Herpes?
This could be changed to spending a summer fucking a random girl, only for her to get the bad news in October.
I guess what I'm trying to say is how long does it take for Herpes to manifest physically?
octafish
+0 -0
A... Are you itching? Because I swear I'm a virgin so it wasn't me, a... a... and you said you were a virgin so that must mean... IMMACULATE INFECTION!!! Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn!
A... Are you itching? Because I swear I'm a virgin so it wasn't me, a... a... and you said you were a virgin so that must mean... IMMACULATE INFECTION!!! Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn!
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
A Tuesday surprise is when Wimpy admits that he still doesn't have the cash to pay you back for that hamburger, so he offers to blow you instead.
An October surprise is the old Halloween gag where you sit very still on the front porch in a mask and scarecrow clothes with a bowl of candy on your lap and a sign that says "Please take one". The bowl has a hole cut in the bottom and your dick is in a "Three Musketeers" wrapper.
A Tuesday surprise is when Wimpy admits that he still doesn't have the cash to pay you back for that hamburger, so he offers to blow you instead.
An October surprise is the old Halloween gag where you sit very still on the front porch in a mask and scarecrow clothes with a bowl of candy on your lap and a sign that says "Please take one". The bowl has a hole cut in the bottom and your dick is in a "Three Musketeers" wrapper.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Whatever fatty reaches for a Three Musketeers wrapper deserves whatever he gets.
Whatever fatty reaches for a Three Musketeers wrapper deserves whatever he gets.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I am going to venture an explanation. Or, a dual explanation---
1. When you're trying to show how you're smarter than everyone else, misspelling simple homonyms tends to make us think the opposite (see: I WILL FUCKING CRUSH YOU IF YOU TRY TO PIGON WHOLE ME)
2. You didn't just bring up the subject. You posted a snarky, passive-aggressive comment on the pictures of us. And kept talking about it even when it was clear nobody gave a crap.
3. miseryandthesun makes me giggle
I am going to venture an explanation. Or, a dual explanation---
1. When you're trying to show how you're smarter than everyone else, misspelling simple homonyms tends to make us think the opposite (see: I WILL FUCKING CRUSH YOU IF YOU TRY TO PIGON WHOLE ME)
2. You didn't just bring up the subject. You posted a snarky, passive-aggressive comment on the pictures of us. And kept talking about it even when it was clear nobody gave a crap.
3. miseryandthesun makes me giggle
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, gouldgonewild, hedonismbot, Genkisudo, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, gouldgonewild, hedonismbot, Genkisudo, Doc_Rostov)
glyc
+0 -2
and achilleselbow, please stop hijacking my threads with your off-topic asides. it's barely passive aggressive. why do you hate me so? Perhaps you misunderstood something I said. I like you achilleselbow. I like the part of you that doesn't hate me. you just have to realize that that part of you is not the you you. that part of you is the adopted step brother who turns out to be a gay pedophile republican senator. Don't let him win and take control chilleselbow. he's not your friend. I'm your friend! if only you will allow it!
and achilleselbow, please stop hijacking my threads with your off-topic asides. it's barely passive aggressive. why do you hate me so? Perhaps you misunderstood something I said. I like you achilleselbow. I like the part of you that doesn't hate me. you just have to realize that that part of you is not the you you. that part of you is the adopted step brother who turns out to be a gay pedophile republican senator. Don't let him win and take control chilleselbow. he's not your friend. I'm your friend! if only you will allow it!
glyc
+0 -2
that's weird I just had a vision of an idea of like that one star trek movie i think it was The Wrath of Kahn where the bad guys have these giant brain slugs that take over a person's mind I just had the vision that what if I was such a brain slug put in the minds of the people who dislike me the most there would be no ignore function then that would be fairly awful
that's weird I just had a vision of an idea of like that one star trek movie i think it was The Wrath of Kahn where the bad guys have these giant brain slugs that take over a person's mind I just had the vision that what if I was such a brain slug put in the minds of the people who dislike me the most there would be no ignore function then that would be fairly awful
loneal
+0 -0
It was either that one Star Trek movie or Animorphs.
It was either that one Star Trek movie or Animorphs.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
You did not just do that to me.
You did not just make me remember that.
You did not just do that to me.
You did not just make me remember that.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Oh my god, glyc is so totally alreadyinuse. I see that now. HA
Oh my god, glyc is so totally alreadyinuse. I see that now. HA
thorfinn
+1 -0
I think that the reason achilleselbow hates you is the same reason that everyone else hates you, namely, you are a giant douche. Your douchebaggery is rapidly approaching the level of alreadyinuse, poing, socks, and their ilk. Your comments are annoying, your spelling is attrocious, at no point during your insane rambling do you even approach a rational thought, you are just a giant fucking asshole. Arguing with you will do no good, however, so from this point on, I will not respond to any of your ridiculous posts, I just thought you might want to know why people hate you.
I think that the reason achilleselbow hates you is the same reason that everyone else hates you, namely, you are a giant douche. Your douchebaggery is rapidly approaching the level of alreadyinuse, poing, socks, and their ilk. Your comments are annoying, your spelling is attrocious, at no point during your insane rambling do you even approach a rational thought, you are just a giant fucking asshole. Arguing with you will do no good, however, so from this point on, I will not respond to any of your ridiculous posts, I just thought you might want to know why people hate you.
pogo
+0 -0
I recommend the *ignore user* feature.
I recommend the *ignore user* feature.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Yes, I also decided to stop feeding the troll. It's hard when he's such a douche sometimes, though.
Yes, I also decided to stop feeding the troll. It's hard when he's such a douche sometimes, though.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
You know, I keep almost arguing with you, but I realize that there's no fucking point. You are just actually insane, or get some kind of retarded pleasure out of pretending.
You know, I keep almost arguing with you, but I realize that there's no fucking point. You are just actually insane, or get some kind of retarded pleasure out of pretending.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Yep. Those three posts directly above you have convinced me to utterly ignore everything he says from now on.
Yep. Those three posts directly above you have convinced me to utterly ignore everything he says from now on.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Why the hell does Achewood keep attracting these damage cases? I must have missed this on the front page:
Why the hell does Achewood keep attracting these damage cases? I must have missed this on the front page:
pogo
+0 -0
I think it is the same person using difference avatars.
I think it is the same person using difference avatars.
cromar
+0 -0
Dude. This is the internet. How can there be so many orderly people here??!
Dude. This is the internet. How can there be so many orderly people here??!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
In a post-apocalyptic world where chubbies have almost completely run dry, one man continues to make quality posts. This Summer, get ready forThe Road Warrior: Master Blaster vs Predator . Waterworld 2: Trouble in Jamaica . The Last Chubbscout .
In a post-apocalyptic world where chubbies have almost completely run dry, one man continues to make quality posts. This Summer, get ready for
bixschmix
+0 -0
The Last Chubbscout: Electric Boogaloo.
The Last Chubbscout: Electric Boogaloo.
cbtbone
+0 -0
Nothing like a subjective horse dildo airforce first thing in the morning.
Nothing like a subjective horse dildo airforce first thing in the morning.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you sure you're not alreadyinuse?
Are you sure you're not alreadyinuse?
loneal
+0 -0
They both mention Turing an awful lot.
They both mention Turing an awful lot.
genkisudo
+0 -0
... mention him incorrectly. The Turing "Test" differs from the "Machine." The machine is just a theoretical design for a computational device, and the test is where you see if a computer can fool people into thinking it's human.
He was one cool dude though. (homosexual, too, not that there's anything wrong with that.)
... mention him incorrectly. The Turing "Test" differs from the "Machine." The machine is just a theoretical design for a computational device, and the test is where you see if a computer can fool people into thinking it's human.
He was one cool dude though. (homosexual, too, not that there's anything wrong with that.)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Imagining your post if you had said black instead of homosexual.
Imagining your post if you had said black instead of homosexual.
tekende
+0 -0
yearsinhotclaws crosses lines, people.
yearsinhotclaws crosses lines, people.
pogo
+0 -0
There's nothing wrong with being black either. Point?
There's nothing wrong with being black either. Point?
loneal
+0 -0
The point may have been that it's pretty rare to encounter a genuine "not that there's anything wrong with that" these days because it usually means the speaker is actually kinda freaked out by whatever there is not anything wrong with.
The point may have been that it's pretty rare to encounter a genuine "not that there's anything wrong with that" these days because it usually means the speaker is actually kinda freaked out by whatever there is not anything wrong with.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
My point was its just a weird thing to say "not that theres anything wrong with that" to quantify talking about homos. We're all fairly enlightened folks here, I'm sure noone thinks theres anything wrong with being a homosexual.
My point was its just a weird thing to say "not that theres anything wrong with that" to quantify talking about homos. We're all fairly enlightened folks here, I'm sure noone thinks theres anything wrong with being a homosexual.
genkisudo
+0 -0
You were right to find that weird. I actually went out of my way to note (parenthetically) that fact and then to qualify it - when it really has no business even being in the post.
I have to admit that I am probably less enlightened than many of you, though.
You were right to find that weird. I actually went out of my way to note (parenthetically) that fact and then to qualify it - when it really has no business even being in the post.
I have to admit that I am probably less enlightened than many of you, though.
loneal
+1 -0
All you gotta do to reach enlightenment is make a bunch of jokes about suckin' dicks and fuckin' moms. That's pretty much all there is to it.
All you gotta do to reach enlightenment is make a bunch of jokes about suckin' dicks and fuckin' moms. That's pretty much all there is to it.
octafish
+1 -0
That's pretty much how Siddhartha did it.
That's pretty much how Siddhartha did it.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Or you could always actually suck the dicks, and fuck the moms. That got me lots of enlightenment. Also herpes.
Or you could always actually suck the dicks, and fuck the moms. That got me lots of enlightenment. Also herpes.
aperson
+0 -0
I totally agree. I thought it was a weird turn of phrase, and I'm not even a gay.
I totally agree. I thought it was a weird turn of phrase, and I'm not even a gay.
aperson
+0 -0
No that there's anything wrong with being in the gays. Just sayin.
No that there's anything wrong with being in the gays. Just sayin.
octafish
+0 -0
...aaaaand thats how you use the phrase in the proper Seinfeldy way.
...aaaaand thats how you use the phrase in the proper Seinfeldy way.
genkisudo
+0 -0
In my defense, I still watch Seinfeld reruns.
In my defense, I still watch Seinfeld reruns.
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, lawbot, daidai, KaMeT, DrSkradley, bixschmix, Genkisudo, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, lawbot, daidai, KaMeT, DrSkradley, bixschmix, Genkisudo, Doc_Rostov)
yearsinhotclaws
+5 -0
Reviews for Glyc:
"Completely pointless"
-Roger Ebert
"A screechingly bad tapestry of human malfunction that will transcend your ideas of what failure really means"
-Michael Chabon
"My brow was furrowed deeply from start to finish. Who would actually bother posting something like this?"
-David Denby
"The next time I see Glyc on the street, I am going to whip a battery at his forehead. I am completely serious readers, lets hunt down and kill Glyc."
-Theo Pandides
Reviews for Glyc:
"Completely pointless"
-Roger Ebert
"A screechingly bad tapestry of human malfunction that will transcend your ideas of what failure really means"
-Michael Chabon
"My brow was furrowed deeply from start to finish. Who would actually bother posting something like this?"
-David Denby
"The next time I see Glyc on the street, I am going to whip a battery at his forehead. I am completely serious readers, lets hunt down and kill Glyc."
-Theo Pandides
achilleselbow
+0 -0
If there is a silver lining to the existence of Glyc, it's that without it your post would not have been possible.
If there is a silver lining to the existence of Glyc, it's that without it your post would not have been possible.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
So few chubbies, so many good posts
So few chubbies, so many good posts
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Dammit, I always think of something great to add after I post.
"One helluva scary ride! The summer%u2019s best special effects."
-David Manning
Dammit, I always think of something great to add after I post.
"One helluva scary ride! The summer%u2019s best special effects."
-David Manning
lawbot
+0 -0
Given the relative impact of solving the Entscheidungsproblem as against the progress towards artificial personalities, I'd say that there's nothing "just" about the Turing Machine.
Given the relative impact of solving the Entscheidungsproblem as against the progress towards artificial personalities, I'd say that there's nothing "just" about the Turing Machine.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
...you said "dung".
...you said "dung".
pogo
+0 -0
Beevis!
Beevis!
genkisudo
+0 -0
I don't know if Beavis and Butthead fall under the "Achilles Window of Accepted References"
I don't know if Beavis and Butthead fall under the "Achilles Window of Accepted References"
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
genkisudo: you must have missed his "DIURETIC CHA CHA CHA" post further up the page.
genkisudo: you must have missed his "DIURETIC CHA CHA CHA" post further up the page.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea I mean I think the acceptability of Beavis & Butthead pretty much goes without saying for anyone who grew up in the 90's and who doesn't suck.
Yea I mean I think the acceptability of Beavis & Butthead pretty much goes without saying for anyone who grew up in the 90's and who doesn't suck.
octafish
+0 -0
I once scored some LSD with Beavis and Butthead on it. Very speedy stuff. My buddies and I giggled in an obscene drooling way for like 6 hours. Not cool. Not a good high.
I once scored some LSD with Beavis and Butthead on it. Very speedy stuff. My buddies and I giggled in an obscene drooling way for like 6 hours. Not cool. Not a good high.
aperson
+0 -0
He said scheid, too.
He said scheid, too.
genkisudo
+0 -0
Well, I definitely agree his Machine is a billion times cooler than that lame test. But his proof of the halting problem was not only 'just' cribbed from Godel's second incompleteness theorem, but the machine was developed independently of the proof.
Well, I definitely agree his Machine is a billion times cooler than that lame test. But his proof of the halting problem was not only 'just' cribbed from Godel's second incompleteness theorem, but the machine was developed independently of the proof.
lawbot
+0 -0
Umm what? The machine was necessary to the proof, and first appeared there.
Umm what? The machine was necessary to the proof, and first appeared there.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'll do my favorite thing and agree and point out an error. The full 'Turing' form of the machine (non lambda-based) was indeed in the proof for Hilbert's tenth (I don't type that whole godawful name).
However, Turing wasn't the first to solve the problem. The other god of CS was, Alonzo Church. He proved the undecidability of the problem first and gets no love. Well, at least less love than he deserves.
I'll do my favorite thing and agree and point out an error. The full 'Turing' form of the machine (non lambda-based) was indeed in the proof for Hilbert's tenth (I don't type that whole godawful name).
However, Turing wasn't the first to solve the problem. The other god of CS was, Alonzo Church. He proved the undecidability of the problem first and gets no love. Well, at least less love than he deserves.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Though the British government at the time did think there was something wrong with that and forced him to undergo estrogen injections (the way to cure homosexuality is with more...estrogen?) which may have led to his apparent suicide.
Though the British government at the time did think there was something wrong with that and forced him to undergo estrogen injections (the way to cure homosexuality is with more...estrogen?) which may have led to his apparent suicide.
drskradley
+0 -2
Was that under Thatcher? I have no idea when Turing was around, and am feeling way too lazy to look it up.
I'm wondering whether it's Thatcher because I've heard she was a nasty bitch and was down with that sort of thing. But, of course, it's too much of an effort to read a good quick rundown about her and the stuff of the times - because the good people on Wikipedia have to make it like READING A FUCKING MASSIVE ESSAY ON IT.
NOTE: I know this is kind of the point of Wikipedia, what with it being objective and an encyclopedia and everything - I am just being overreactive and lazy. So, I just go on what I hear from Brits about the lady, and then possibly remember it wrong.
Was that under Thatcher? I have no idea when Turing was around, and am feeling way too lazy to look it up.
I'm wondering whether it's Thatcher because I've heard she was a nasty bitch and was down with that sort of thing. But, of course, it's too much of an effort to read a good quick rundown about her and the stuff of the times - because the good people on Wikipedia have to make it like READING A FUCKING MASSIVE ESSAY ON IT.
NOTE: I know this is kind of the point of Wikipedia, what with it being objective and an encyclopedia and everything - I am just being overreactive and lazy. So, I just go on what I hear from Brits about the lady, and then possibly remember it wrong.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It's impossible not to mention Turing a lot. Turing is amazing. Turing drops into casual conversation between all sorts of people. I believe Assetbar, if anything, needs more Turing. Turing is civilization. Just look at this Turing conversation we're having now. The name Turing has been used more than seven times, just between the two of us. That's a ton of Turing. More Turing than almost anyone can imagine, which is still not enough Turing. (I'm a computer scientist, so I cum like a geyser every time I use his name)
It's impossible not to mention Turing a lot. Turing is amazing. Turing drops into casual conversation between all sorts of people. I believe Assetbar, if anything, needs more Turing. Turing is civilization. Just look at this Turing conversation we're having now. The name Turing has been used more than seven times, just between the two of us. That's a ton of Turing. More Turing than almost anyone can imagine, which is still not enough Turing. (I'm a computer scientist, so I cum like a geyser every time I use his name)
drskradley
+0 -0
It's a cliche for me to say this, but you should really see a doctor about that.
Unless you're enjoying it, which it sounds like you are.
It's a cliche for me to say this, but you should really see a doctor about that.
Unless you're enjoying it, which it sounds like you are.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Geyser Hedonismbot. The 8th Natural Wonder.
Geyser Hedonismbot. The 8th Natural Wonder.
lawbot
+0 -0
I'd like to think there's a chance he might get a little enjoyment from that.
I'd like to think there's a chance he might get a little enjoyment from that.
odei
+0 -0
I certainly don't bother reading either's posts.
I certainly don't bother reading either's posts.
drskradley
+0 -0
If it is Alreadyinuse, he's taken some courses on Readability. Because man, that sucka was just too much effort for me most of the time.
If it is Alreadyinuse, he's taken some courses on Readability. Because man, that sucka was just too much effort for me most of the time.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I think you'll find people with similar mental health issues may come across similar in text/response format. Hence the use of pencil-paper for Psych Tests.
I think you'll find people with similar mental health issues may come across similar in text/response format. Hence the use of pencil-paper for Psych Tests.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Well, there may be some validity to your point, like a generally happy person would have smile lines, or a generally panicky person would have bags under their eyes, but beyond that, I don't see it.
A face is something you are born with. It doesn't really change that much over the course of your life once you're basically an adult. It pretty much stays the same unless you have any outside forces acting on it (ie: a scalpel), which I think most of us agree is pretty creepy-looking.
A personality is something you develop over time. It can change through therapy, new interests (birdwatching might make you more patient, things of that nature), new kinds of friends, etc. etc.
So as far as I can see, faces and personalities have little to do with each other. Are you tying to say that the face you are born with affects your personality, or are you saying that the way your face looks is determined by your personality? Neither seems that probable, so either think out your arguments more carefully before being being defensive of them, or just stop being so dickish. Thank you and have a nice day.
Fin.
Well, there may be some validity to your point, like a generally happy person would have smile lines, or a generally panicky person would have bags under their eyes, but beyond that, I don't see it.
A face is something you are born with. It doesn't really change that much over the course of your life once you're basically an adult. It pretty much stays the same unless you have any outside forces acting on it (ie: a scalpel), which I think most of us agree is pretty creepy-looking.
A personality is something you develop over time. It can change through therapy, new interests (birdwatching might make you more patient, things of that nature), new kinds of friends, etc. etc.
So as far as I can see, faces and personalities have little to do with each other. Are you tying to say that the face you are born with affects your personality, or are you saying that the way your face looks is determined by your personality? Neither seems that probable, so either think out your arguments more carefully before being being defensive of them, or just stop being so dickish. Thank you and have a nice day.
Fin.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Aww, he makes me angry too, catgrl. But he's not gonna come around, pogo had the right idea.
P.S.: scalpel made me laugh
Aww, he makes me angry too, catgrl. But he's not gonna come around, pogo had the right idea.
P.S.: scalpel made me laugh
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
Re: Philippe learns about hobos the easy way.
Philippe, a biscuit shooter is actually a waitress.
Re: Philippe learns about hobos the easy way.
Philippe, a biscuit shooter is actually a waitress.
the_rich
+0 -0
I wonder if Roast Beef will address the fact that at a wedding someone is dying...in their own special way.
I wonder if Roast Beef will address the fact that at a wedding someone is dying...in their own special way.
crinklebat
+0 -0
Please, please, PLEASE create an actual issue of this magazine. Preferably before August 30th, so I can read it as I plan my wedding. Roast Beef and I are basically the same person in this regard...except I am the bride.
Please, please, PLEASE create an actual issue of this magazine. Preferably before August 30th, so I can read it as I plan my wedding. Roast Beef and I are basically the same person in this regard...except I am the bride.
drskradley
+0 -0
Those cats are just adorable. Possibly the most adorable.
Wait....that's only one cat and some blanket. The equivalent adorability of two kittens is now ultimately bestowed on the one.
Those cats are just adorable. Possibly the most adorable.
Wait....that's only one cat and some blanket. The equivalent adorability of two kittens is now ultimately bestowed on the one.
This is some good advice. People are getting pretty sick of me telling everyone I have to drain the meat dildo.
It would be worse if you forgot to drain the meat dildo.
Wait. So what are those Hickory Farms things for then?
This comic is fived for meat dildo
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, c_dizzle, trawser)
I think you got the joke!
...and thus was launched a thousand pieces of assetbar slash fiction...
MANFLESH, NOOOOOOO!
I think you mean YES
This has absolutely no relevance to anything being spoken about here, but I just had to share with everyone the greatest thing I've ever read on a YouTube comment:
"capitalism is a gross regime,
this is a direct product of all the bad bits lol"
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Marvellous. I can't stop applauding and kissing my fingers in a showing of approval.
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aon, kenthegod, ntopp, DougTheHead, mattfish, fattypneumonia, Fcannon, deovalente, thing)
I love the Oblivion reference. An excellent story.
I'm glad, though saddened i wasnt the only one who recognised that.
sighs
Coincidentally, I am out of chubbies.
I trained a Gardevoir once.
Considering that they appear female but don't necessarily have to be, well this strange boy could be in for a disturbing surprise, though it seems unlikely he would care at all.
Assertive? You betcha!
Also, I just would like to clarify for anyone not down like me -- Chaud is not a character in Pokemon, he is a character from RockMan.EXE which basically combines the Rock-Man (Mega-Man universe in America) with a Pokemon-like master-trainer relationship between armored men wearing skintight little numbers made of data and little boys with big hearts and a thirst for adventure. So if you thought the story had a bonus layer of clusterfuck and you couldn't quite place the flavor, that's probably why.
Quote:
Eiffel Tower baby yeah!
i got a chubby from the illustration, and as such i am giving you one.
I love you, Dr. Manflesh. Do you write these yourself?
I just had to chubby this terrible, terrible post.
It would be kind of pointless to criticise Manflesh for posting a picture that was NSFW, thus denying the unwritten law of the boards of not posting such stuff - but I still want to, despite not being at work myself.
What a piece of shit. Ignore engaged.
Welcome back, pogo!
Thanks. I got most of my stuff in a U-Haul parked out at my brother's place until my new apartment is ready on Wenzday. Living like a student again. And I'm grouchy.
Dogg, you old.
In pogo's day, slash fanfic was written in the form of folk songs.
"Michael blow the boat ashore, up your waaaaaazo."
Come all ye young fellows that follow the sea,
to my way haye, blow the man down,
And pray pay attention and listen to me,
Give me some time to blow the man down.
'Twas on a Black Baller I first served my time,
to my way haye, blow the man down,
And on that Black Baller I wasted my prime,
Give me some time to blow the man down.
Quiz: Identify the parts of that original folk song that have been "done up sexy-like," in the parlance of the original alt.boxcar.folksong bards
I don't care what you guys think, I'm starting a religion for this guy.
Manflesh, the revolting fanfic-loving pervert with serious religion chops.
If this story don't make your meat dildo take the shape of a question mark, nothing will.
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chivalress, sevendaughters, shaggy23)
Wait, who said anything about urine?
W... what do you usually drain from your dick?
Spinynorman lives in Texas. He received abstinence-only sex-education.
TSO Texas OON
What else can it do?
Can it whistle?
No, but I believe we've all heard about its aptitude with a trumpet.
Pynchon avatar and comment pair up quite nicely here.
A comment left by gepetto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, gladi8orrex, aHatOfPig)
The maker of fine woodcraft was lamed for saying hello.
I kind of want to lame you for being the Adversary...noone is going to get that, which is probably good
WELL SEE THE THING IS GOULDGONEWILD WE SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE BIGBY WOLF BOMB HIS ENCHANTED GROVE. THAT IS PROBABLY WHAT WE SHOULD DO.
I totally would have chubbied the hell out of that comment too
I got it. Didn't read much of the series, just Book 5 I think (the one with the wedding), but it was pretty fun.
Did they explain how the hell Snow White physiologically gave birth to a litter???
...magic?
.....well, if that isn't just a little too convenient ...
Wizards, my good Doctor, wizards.
(sometimes the Continuity Wizards do double duty as midwives.)
Ask that chick with the 8 crotchfruit.
It sure ain't what everybody makes it out to be, that's for sure. It's not like it glows or writes speeches or anything.
A chubby for whoever gets the reference.
That's not draining . You must be doing it wrong.
When one has a significant back-up it is a draining. This is why you wear flip-flops in college showers. That and ringworm.
damn that's right and we all ride horses to work, too. fuck technology.
"...he's from The South". -Paulie in The Pope of Greenwich Village . Also, I do not know if the period goes before the last """* or after.
*A quotation mark in quotes.
In American typesetting, we always enclose the period with the final quotation mark.
I've never really noticed how it's done in England, but I see that the Law Society/SRA puts final punctuation outside of the quotation marks (In English; I have no idea if one can become a solicitor only knowing Welsh).
You are correct, sir. British style is "period outside of quote mark".
I MAKE INAPPROPRIATE JOKE ABOUT VENEREAL DISEASE
THAT'S NEAT
LOVE VENERAL DISEASE
BURNS
add an e somewhere up there. *toss*
I thought it was poetry with a "b & e" missing:
Love, Venerable disease...
Burns
LEOVE VENERAL DISEASE?
LOUIS VUITTON DISEASE?
LAX VAGINA DISORDER
See, this is a reasonable first post. Learn from this people. Also, I don't need draining, but thanks for asking.
I prefer the more oblique: "I have to go see a horse about a meat dildo."
I have to go see a guy about a leaky dildo?
I have to go and see a guy about a horse meat dildo?
I have to meat a guy about a horse dildo?
I have to dildo a horse about a guy's meat.
so anyway...
let's do a survey. number of times you have had sex in the past week. With another person.
is antpologetic study of network peoples culture
Go!
zer0
Three times, one person. But mainly I've been revising.
6 times with your mom. Our faces were pretty compatible, let me tell you. Or at least hers was. With my penis.
Four times? I think? I drink too much.
Shit, I hope that wasn't a dude, I'd make a terrible gay
First off, four times for me, and I know it was a dude. You are an excellent gay Norman, at least as a bottom.
Zero, but solo I'm topping 30, easy
You must have broken the seal. Don't break the seal, dogg!
Wait, what?
I have to go fuck a horse, then shoot it in the brain so it takes my semen to horse hell.
Hey-O!
Nice.
In that elegant, classy way.
Chubby for Clerks avatar.
Who is driving? Oh no, bear is driving! How can this be?
Car full of little people!
A comment left by dapooka was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by prolefeed5, gladi8orrex, Appers)
You can drain MY meat-dildo any day, baby.
Now that I have had my opportunity to beat the dead horse, I go back to the land of lurkers and await the next strip.