sweetlips
+18 -0
Fuck. I always have to use google to enjoy what Mr. Bear says.
Fuck. I always have to use google to enjoy what Mr. Bear says.
kickstart
+6 -1
Victor Borge was the comedian/pianist who was always falling off his piano bench. He appeared on Sesame Street to show the importance of wearing seat belts (so as not to fall off one's piano bench)
Victor Borge was the comedian/pianist who was always falling off his piano bench. He appeared on Sesame Street to show the importance of wearing seat belts (so as not to fall off one's piano bench)
sweetlips
+1 -0
Well I know that now thanks to Google. (And no thanks to their stupid, fat people logo).
Well I know that now thanks to Google. (And no thanks to their stupid, fat people logo).
wonelove
+1 -0
Why don't you replace that with...
this .
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132007
Why don't you replace that with...
this .
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132007
smilebuddha
+4 -0
I'm not sure why Cornelius is whacking Victor Borge with Connery-by-association, unless he truly doesn't like the chocolate of piano playing falling into the peanut butter of comedy. But then how would you explain the magic of Zack Galifianakis?
I'm not sure why Cornelius is whacking Victor Borge with Connery-by-association, unless he truly doesn't like the chocolate of piano playing falling into the peanut butter of comedy. But then how would you explain the magic of Zack Galifianakis?
theguitarhero
+5 -0
He's the Snuggler.
He's the Snuggler.
nice-on-water
+5 -0
And the hot tub is just too damn hot for him.
And the hot tub is just too damn hot for him.
mortshire
+2 -0
IT'S NOT FUNNY!
IT'S NOT FUNNY!
terebikun
+0 -0
gravy thievery certainly is not a laughing matter
gravy thievery certainly is not a laughing matter
theguitarhero
+0 -0
SNATCH THAT GRAVY UP.
SNATCH THAT GRAVY UP.
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
Oh, you mean Magic Gravy! Pass the turkey.
Oh, you mean Magic Gravy! Pass the turkey.
steev_dayv
+1 -0
I find that joke to be fowl.
I find that joke to be fowl.
scorpio_nadir
+7 -0
A Thanksgiving Recipe
-by Charles Dickens-
It was the baste of times, it was the wurst of times; stuff fowl with wurst, baste with Magic Gravy, and bake @ 350, 1 hour for every 3 lbs.
A Thanksgiving Recipe
-by Charles Dickens-
It was the baste of times, it was the wurst of times; stuff fowl with wurst, baste with Magic Gravy, and bake @ 350, 1 hour for every 3 lbs.
pogo
+0 -0
I gobble up puns.
I gobble up puns.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
pogo are you drunk today or just feeling pfally saucy?
pogo are you drunk today or just feeling pfally saucy?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
OFALLY
OFALLY
pogo
+0 -0
O-fowl-y?
O-fowl-y?
kamet
+0 -0
Orally?
Orally?
catgrl131
+1 -0
O RLY?
O RLY?
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
Anally.
Anally.
ellameno
+0 -0
Just like that, I change it.
Just like that, I change it.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
I'M NOT COMING DOWN HERE ANYMORE!
I'M NOT COMING DOWN HERE ANYMORE!
freerhi
+1 -0
yelled beef to the frightened chicken
yelled beef to the frightened chicken
nice-on-water
+0 -0
First time I've heard THAT.
First time I've heard THAT.
freerhi
+1 -0
...yelled beef to the frightened chicken
...yelled beef to the frightened chicken
seikel
+0 -0
He'll snuggle you baaaack to health!
He'll snuggle you baaaack to health!
sje46
+0 -0
Right baryck into health
Right baryck into health
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Onxly, the joke was old baryck when we started it.
Onxly, the joke was old baryck when we started it.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Who else voted for Baryck Obama?
Who else voted for Baryck Obama?
sje46
+0 -0
He was the chonyxlate one, right?
I voted for the chonyxlate one.
He was the chonyxlate one, right?
I voted for the chonyxlate one.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm missing something, here.
I'm missing something, here.
rowboat
+0 -0
Don't call attention to it. You'll only prolong it.
Don't call attention to it. You'll only prolong it.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh! Barycuda!
Oh! Barycuda!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Okay, now I get it.
Okay, now I get it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I think it has to do with Cornelius' Public School Brit sentiments when he's riled; as Borge was a Dane and Connery is a Scot, and although both are brilliant, they are common- therefore 2nd-Rate tools to be used as a metaphorical bludgeon against Teodor-
"Know what I mean?"
"wink-wink", "nudge-nudge".
Otoh, I could be blithering. Yes, I feel that is the case. Reading the imaginary mind of a stuffed Anglophile bear does give me a headache.
I think it has to do with Cornelius' Public School Brit sentiments when he's riled; as Borge was a Dane and Connery is a Scot, and although both are brilliant, they are common- therefore 2nd-Rate tools to be used as a metaphorical bludgeon against Teodor-
"Know what I mean?"
"wink-wink", "nudge-nudge".
Otoh, I could be blithering. Yes, I feel that is the case. Reading the imaginary mind of a stuffed Anglophile bear does give me a headache.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
Victor Borge is CLASS and I'll be damned if you condense him to a pianist with an inner ear infection.
I hope this lets you understand Mr. and Mrs. Connery's preference
Victor Borge is CLASS and I'll be damned if you condense him to a pianist with an inner ear infection.
I hope this lets you understand Mr. and Mrs. Connery's preference
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeynarcotic, GregChant, ActualTaunt, SpinyNorman, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeynarcotic, GregChant, ActualTaunt, SpinyNorman, Panserbjorne)
retro
+1 -0
If that is true, then you are broken. You might want to get that looked at.
If that is true, then you are broken. You might want to get that looked at.
gormster
+1 -2
Here's a hint: if your comedy is so bad that the people making the video have to edit parts of it out, then you are in trouble. If the part they leave in is comedically equivalent to a Carrot Top routine with worse timing, you are in serious trouble .
Here's a hint: if your comedy is so bad that the people making the video have to edit parts of it out, then you are in trouble. If the part they leave in is comedically equivalent to a Carrot Top routine with worse timing, you are in serious trouble .
falseprophet
+0 -1
Hey man I thought the part that all the well-to-do high society white people were laughing at was mellifluous .
Hey man I thought the part that all the well-to-do high society white people were laughing at was mellifluous .
spinynorman
+21 -0
You guys sound like the kids who, in the middle of a music theory class, will condescendingly laugh and state that Ravel and Beethoven is music for old white faggots clinging to a dead age, and then sneeringly show a video on your iPhones of an indie-punk band consisting entirely of heroin addicts who have developed the gimmick of pissing into each others' mouths onstage. In this fashion their music is more "edgy" and "real."
You probably don't like the Marx Brothers, either,
You guys sound like the kids who, in the middle of a music theory class, will condescendingly laugh and state that Ravel and Beethoven is music for old white faggots clinging to a dead age, and then sneeringly show a video on your iPhones of an indie-punk band consisting entirely of heroin addicts who have developed the gimmick of pissing into each others' mouths onstage. In this fashion their music is more "edgy" and "real."
You probably don't like the Marx Brothers, either,
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is the most emphatic spinynorman comment I've ever seen!
I haven't weighed in on this yet, but I checked out the above link and had a lukewarm reaction, not because he was old and white, but because he was not funny in that same way that old Vaudeville comedians or the kindly uncle who tells you the same jokes and does the "got your nose!" gag every time you visit are not funny. It's the kind of thing you'd need a mental time machine in order to appreciate.
Also, I think you just described The Libertines.
This is the most emphatic spinynorman comment I've ever seen!
I haven't weighed in on this yet, but I checked out the above link and had a lukewarm reaction, not because he was old and white, but because he was not funny in that same way that old Vaudeville comedians or the kindly uncle who tells you the same jokes and does the "got your nose!" gag every time you visit are not funny. It's the kind of thing you'd need a mental time machine in order to appreciate.
Also, I think you just described The Libertines.
tekende
+1 -0
I watched two minutes of that thing and was pretty unamused myself.
I mean, hey, if someone finds it funny, that's cool. I didn't, though.
I watched two minutes of that thing and was pretty unamused myself.
I mean, hey, if someone finds it funny, that's cool. I didn't, though.
biff
+0 -0
Not knocking Borge. My parents like Borge.
Not knocking Danes. My brother-in-law is Danish, and I have Danish ancestry.
But.
I was not amused. Not by that bit.
Not knocking Borge. My parents like Borge.
Not knocking Danes. My brother-in-law is Danish, and I have Danish ancestry.
But.
I was not amused. Not by that bit.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
I remember that schtick. I'm sure Pogo and redphillip remember it too. We are of the Baby Boomer generation, children of the Greatest Generation.
Here is my take.
I hated it when I was a kid. No kid liked it because Victor Borge was not funny. Our parents patiently told us he was also a classical pianist of High Mind and Talent. This did not make that skit funny, but they thought it was uproarious.
They were of the Generation that had things much harder than us; and they told us that, again and again. They believed that with hard work, anything is possible. That was the credo of their generation.
If you notice, Mr. Borge works very hard in this skit to get all his silly punctuation noises arranged just so.
They recognized the hard work he put into this skit that was supposed to be humorous. Therefore they found it hilarious. We did not understand.
I remember that schtick. I'm sure Pogo and redphillip remember it too. We are of the Baby Boomer generation, children of the Greatest Generation.
Here is my take.
I hated it when I was a kid. No kid liked it because Victor Borge was not funny. Our parents patiently told us he was also a classical pianist of High Mind and Talent. This did not make that skit funny, but they thought it was uproarious.
They were of the Generation that had things much harder than us; and they told us that, again and again. They believed that with hard work, anything is possible. That was the credo of their generation.
If you notice, Mr. Borge works very hard in this skit to get all his silly punctuation noises arranged just so.
They recognized the hard work he put into this skit that was supposed to be humorous. Therefore they found it hilarious. We did not understand.
aperson
+0 -0
vchub for thoroughly explaining this. Good work.
vchub for thoroughly explaining this. Good work.
falseprophet
+0 -1
See maybe it's just me, but because the sounds he was making were all very kind of squeaky and 'wet' and the story he was telling was about two young lovers I thought the joke was that all the punctuation sounded embarrassingly sexual.
See maybe it's just me, but because the sounds he was making were all very kind of squeaky and 'wet' and the story he was telling was about two young lovers I thought the joke was that all the punctuation sounded embarrassingly sexual.
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Welcome to the world of repressed sexuality, innuendo, and euphemism -- the 50s!
Quote:
all the punctuation sounded embarrassingly sexual
Welcome to the world of repressed sexuality, innuendo, and euphemism -- the 50s!
history
+0 -0
This post said it all. Also, Mr. Bear (and by extension Onstad?) does not find it funny either, but old and tired like Sean Connery. Mr. Bear is not old and tired.
In that video when you see the crowd laugh, you can see in their eyes that it is the controlled laughter of memories of when they laughed at this before. Not the loss of control that comes with really letting your laughter flow to the point of tears.
This post said it all. Also, Mr. Bear (and by extension Onstad?) does not find it funny either, but old and tired like Sean Connery. Mr. Bear is not old and tired.
In that video when you see the crowd laugh, you can see in their eyes that it is the controlled laughter of memories of when they laughed at this before. Not the loss of control that comes with really letting your laughter flow to the point of tears.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh, it's definitely safe, old people humor. So in that regard, I'd agree with you. But I still say it's nothing to shit on.
Oh, it's definitely safe, old people humor. So in that regard, I'd agree with you. But I still say it's nothing to shit on.
zapatos
+1 -0
Thats what they said about the female form, but there are people downloading that ish all over the place!
Thats what they said about the female form, but there are people downloading that ish all over the place!
spinynorman
+0 -0
Eh, I was raised on Victor Borge. I went to see him when I was nine. I still find the concept of "fivehead" to be hilarious.
On the other hand, I did take it somewhat personally, and overreacted. But come on man, saying Borge sucks is like shouting out your car window that the Ninja Turtles were off rimming each other when they weren't beating the shit out of mutated rates. I will be made visibly upset by such a claim.
Eh, I was raised on Victor Borge. I went to see him when I was nine. I still find the concept of "fivehead" to be hilarious.
On the other hand, I did take it somewhat personally, and overreacted. But come on man, saying Borge sucks is like shouting out your car window that the Ninja Turtles were off rimming each other when they weren't beating the shit out of mutated rates. I will be made visibly upset by such a claim.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Rats. Rats. Goddamn it.
Rats. Rats. Goddamn it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Rats off to ya! That's GREAT!
Rats off to ya! That's GREAT!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Three face triple crosser is my personal fave.
Three face triple crosser is my personal fave.
nice-on-water
+0 -1
If it's not hip to like the Marx brothers, just call me square.
[Robert Palmer reference]
If it's not hip to like the Marx brothers, just call me square.
[Robert Palmer reference]
aperson
+0 -1
It is indeed very hip to be square.
[Huey Lewis reference]
It is indeed very hip to be square.
[Huey Lewis reference]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh shit, that's what I meant. FUCK how could I confused Huey Lewis and the News with god damn Robert Palmer? For shame.
Oh shit, that's what I meant. FUCK how could I confused Huey Lewis and the News with god damn Robert Palmer? For shame.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I thought that was Bruce Springsteen?
[The Office reference]
I thought that was Bruce Springsteen?
[The Office reference]
tekende
+0 -0
The song is so catchy, most people don't listen to the lyrics. But they should!
The song is so catchy, most people don't listen to the lyrics. But they should!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Born in the USA!
I went to school and I got an A!
I ate a hamburger and said Hooray!
I hope to God that's right.
Born in the USA!
I went to school and I got an A!
I ate a hamburger and said Hooray!
I hope to God that's right.
sje46
+0 -0
I like music!
Good day sunshine . . .
I like music!
Good day sunshine . . .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
[bashes aperson's face in with an axe while looking stylish]
[bashes aperson's face in with an axe while looking stylish]
aperson
+1 -0
ha that was my favourite Back to the Future scene.
ha that was my favourite Back to the Future scene.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ey tha'sa funny, I got an uncle lives in Dollars, Taxes.
Ey tha'sa funny, I got an uncle lives in Dollars, Taxes.
aperson
+0 -0
I wouldn't be a member of any club that would give me a chubby.
I wouldn't be a member of any club that would give me a chubby.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Everyone says I chub you
Achilleselbow and aperson too
The pro'ers and the con'ers and even those that neu
Say I chub you
Everyone says I chub you
Achilleselbow and aperson too
The pro'ers and the con'ers and even those that neu
Say I chub you
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You would not chub that member's club
Nor would you club a given chub-
You would not chub it for a beer-
You would not club it for one schneer.
You would not chub that member's club
Nor would you club a given chub-
You would not chub it for a beer-
You would not club it for one schneer.
sje46
+0 -0
Let me guess . .. Hitler?
Let me guess . .. Hitler?
sje46
+0 -0
No! Gandhi!
No! Gandhi!
rowboat
+0 -0
Be the chubby that you wish to see in the world.
Be the chubby that you wish to see in the world.
kamet
+0 -0
Blue
Blue
kamet
+0 -0
No, Yellow!
No, Yellow!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
African sparrows? European sparrows? What?
African sparrows? European sparrows? What?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Are we doing this? I don't want any part.
Are we doing this? I don't want any part.
redphillip
+0 -0
And I won't join one where chubbies can't be had.
This way Acheworld is represented everywhere .
And I won't join one where chubbies can't be had.
This way Acheworld is represented everywhere .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Borge's funny. Can't you...SEE?
Borge's funny. Can't you...SEE?
vermy
+0 -0
Why? Why have run out of lames before this. WHY?
Why? Why have run out of lames before this. WHY?
farqussus
+0 -0
MASSIVE SPECTACLES
MASSIVE SPECTACLES
thegoblins
+0 -0
I thought it was clever and jolly.
I thought it was clever and jolly.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
Now....where the heck is C?
Now....where the heck is C?
xprinncessx
+0 -0
A comment left by xprinncessx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KaMeT, nice-on-water, rowboat, ActualTaunt, AidenS123)
A comment left by xprinncessx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KaMeT, nice-on-water, rowboat, ActualTaunt, AidenS123)
gormster
+0 -0
are you serious
are you serious
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Who chubbied that? Why would you do that?
Who chubbied that? Why would you do that?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I doubt it, but we don't really need another gladi8orrex either.
I doubt it, but we don't really need another gladi8orrex either.
hamscout
+0 -0
I think she's more like "warEorPrOncessX"...
Maybe she and glad will bear a child who speaks completely in ASCII text...
[i]"Meet our son--say hello, {8===>."
"[]>o<[] <-Tie fighter"
I think she's more like "warEorPrOncessX"...
Maybe she and glad will bear a child who speaks completely in ASCII text...
[i]"Meet our son--say hello, {8===>."
"[]>o<[] <-Tie fighter"
hamscout
+0 -0
...or maybe someday my wife and I will have a child who knows how to close italic tags...
...or maybe someday my wife and I will have a child who knows how to close italic tags...
stereo
+0 -0
Just pretend it's the kid's ear or something.
Just pretend it's the kid's ear or something.
hamscout
+1 -0
Yes...have some.
Yes...have some.
kickstart
+0 -0
listen, H-Scout, as long as your offspring can successfully quote Ghostbusters and maybe a little Caddyshack, you'll be OK. I mean, you've got that going for you, which is nice.
listen, H-Scout, as long as your offspring can successfully quote Ghostbusters and maybe a little Caddyshack, you'll be OK. I mean, you've got that going for you, which is nice.
pogo
+1 -0
Yes, that man has no penis.
This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.
Yes, that man has no penis.
This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.
reverendtmac
+0 -0
Oh, Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between, are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...
Oh, Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between, are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
dibs is r chiyld who is for yaers old plz dun b inaprioprite arunnd him we raiz him guud n he lieks 2 red pometry ov al kinds but mossly about linchins an gardinng
dibs is r chiyld who is for yaers old plz dun b inaprioprite arunnd him we raiz him guud n he lieks 2 red pometry ov al kinds but mossly about linchins an gardinng
sje46
+0 -1
I think we need more achilleselbows!
I think we need more achilleselbows!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Kiss up...
Kiss up...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You'll go far, kid. *flips you a nickel*
You'll go far, kid. *flips you a nickel*
pogo
+0 -0
You'll go straight to Perdition. *flips you the bird*
You'll go straight to Perdition. *flips you the bird*
zapatos
+0 -0
FUCKING LAMED
I don't want anymore of them, the magic will fade. This is why I hate giftmas. It was awesome when I was a kid, because it was a week long thing.
THREE MONTHS FUCK YOU WALMART I FUCKING HATE YOU GODDAMNIT YOU TOOK THE CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS AND CUT OUT HIS HEART AND SHIT IN HIS EYES MAAIENA29GA I AMSO SO ANGRY
FUCKING LAMED
I don't want anymore of them, the magic will fade. This is why I hate giftmas. It was awesome when I was a kid, because it was a week long thing.
THREE MONTHS FUCK YOU WALMART I FUCKING HATE YOU GODDAMNIT YOU TOOK THE CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS AND CUT OUT HIS HEART AND SHIT IN HIS EYES MAAIENA29GA I AMSO SO ANGRY
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh my God, can you believe it, I saw a fucking Hershey's Christmas commercial on VETERANS DAY. They used to have the decency to wait till half time in the Thanksgiving football game. Fucking.
Oh my God, can you believe it, I saw a fucking Hershey's Christmas commercial on VETERANS DAY. They used to have the decency to wait till half time in the Thanksgiving football game. Fucking.
zapatos
+0 -0
IAMGOINGTOFUCKINGKILLMYSELFGODAIENA
i am so very upset, i want to shoot santa dudes and just rape their sexy elf helpers and then punch children and break toys and tear myclothesrunning through the snow puking down mychest and dodging traffic screaming and tearing the flesh from my body oh god i fuckign hate it pleas epelas eno no no why have they dne this to me
IAMGOINGTOFUCKINGKILLMYSELFGODAIENA
i am so very upset, i want to shoot santa dudes and just rape their sexy elf helpers and then punch children and break toys and tear myclothesrunning through the snow puking down mychest and dodging traffic screaming and tearing the flesh from my body oh god i fuckign hate it pleas epelas eno no no why have they dne this to me
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
This is good response. You have good reaction here. Perfectly normal.
I think the over-bloated, unprecedentedly early start is due to the economy tanking. Retailers (although not Wal-Mart) are hurting and looking for a little shit-Miracle of their own.
This is good response. You have good reaction here. Perfectly normal.
I think the over-bloated, unprecedentedly early start is due to the economy tanking. Retailers (although not Wal-Mart) are hurting and looking for a little shit-Miracle of their own.
belgand
+0 -0
No, this has been going on for years. Each year it gets a little closer. Eventually it will start right after the previous year's Christmas.
No, this has been going on for years. Each year it gets a little closer. Eventually it will start right after the previous year's Christmas.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
When our economy becomes entirely dependent on Christmas sales, will it be kosher to blame Jews for economic collapse?
When our economy becomes entirely dependent on Christmas sales, will it be kosher to blame Jews for economic collapse?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Black Monday will become Mulatto Monday.
::Woody Allen-esque nervous chuckle and muttering::
Black Monday will become Mulatto Monday.
::Woody Allen-esque nervous chuckle and muttering::
belgand
+0 -0
Well, as an atheist who doesn't particularly like his family and never really had much interaction with his extended family Mythmas has always been about the presents. Still, when the displays start going up before Halloween that's a problem.
No Christmas displays or discussions at any time before the beginning of December. We need to restrict holidays entirely to the month in which they occur.
Well, as an atheist who doesn't particularly like his family and never really had much interaction with his extended family Mythmas has always been about the presents. Still, when the displays start going up before Halloween that's a problem.
No Christmas displays or discussions at any time before the beginning of December. We need to restrict holidays entirely to the month in which they occur.
sje46
+0 -0
The revolution begins here.
The revolution begins here.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes, on Assetbar.
Yes, on Assetbar.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
My first thought was That is all well, but on pay-per-view?
And then I see the video nice-on-water is linking to and I'm all taken back to growing up hearing this (sorry, no video of that one bit, but you can definitely guess what he's saying), by some nationally famous dude who launched his French career ripping off Jerry Lewis (yes).
And then I thought, hell.
My first thought was That is all well, but on pay-per-view?
And then I see the video nice-on-water is linking to and I'm all taken back to growing up hearing this (sorry, no video of that one bit, but you can definitely guess what he's saying), by some nationally famous dude who launched his French career ripping off Jerry Lewis (yes).
And then I thought, hell.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Jesus H., people, it's not like I have hours of Borge on my iPod. It's not exactly something I watch for hours on end, I'm just saying I would expect Onstad to appreciate his humor, which definitely had its time and place. I'm more of a Marx Brothers guy anyway. Now THAT is undeniably funny shit.
Jesus H., people, it's not like I have hours of Borge on my iPod. It's not exactly something I watch for hours on end, I'm just saying I would expect Onstad to appreciate his humor, which definitely had its time and place. I'm more of a Marx Brothers guy anyway. Now THAT is undeniably funny shit.
spectre
+0 -0
Victor Borge as the Tom Lehrer of classical music.
Victor Borge as the Tom Lehrer of classical music.
biff
+0 -0
I can see why one might make that comparison, but I don't agree with it.
Tom Lehrer is much edgier and more potentially offensive than Victor Borge.
I can see why one might make that comparison, but I don't agree with it.
Tom Lehrer is much edgier and more potentially offensive than Victor Borge.
mortshire
+0 -0
My dictionary describes tonus in the most un-sexy way possible:
tonus :
noun
the constant low-level activity of a body tissue, esp. muscle tone.
ORIGIN late 19th cent.: from Latin, from Greek tonos 'tension.'
My dictionary describes tonus in the most un-sexy way possible:
tonus :
noun
the constant low-level activity of a body tissue, esp. muscle tone.
ORIGIN late 19th cent.: from Latin, from Greek tonos 'tension.'
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That makes bodily activity sound twisted! There's no need for that word!
That makes bodily activity sound twisted! There's no need for that word!
pogo
+0 -0
There is tonus in my dick. (See, the word could be useful. 'Bow)
There is tonus in my dick. (See, the word could be useful. 'Bow)
kamet
+2 -0
falseprophet
+0 -0
I just imagine that these two sons of Martin Sheen are applauding Salma Hayek's breasts in the start of a witty repartee that sounds like it was written by Oscar Wilde that will ultimately culminate in menage .
They're half-brothers, so it's not gay incest if one's left ball doesn't touch the other's right.
I just imagine that these two sons of Martin Sheen are applauding Salma Hayek's breasts in the start of a witty repartee that sounds like it was written by Oscar Wilde that will ultimately culminate in menage .
They're half-brothers, so it's not gay incest if one's left ball doesn't touch the other's right.
sje46
+0 -0
What if a left one touches a left one?
What if a left one touches a left one?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Don't cross the balls. It would be bad.
Don't cross the balls. It would be bad.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Haven't you seen Ghostbusters? Never cross the beams. Shit hits the fan.
Haven't you seen Ghostbusters? Never cross the beams. Shit hits the fan.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's STREAMS first off.
It's STREAMS first off.
history
+0 -0
You are incorrect. They are in fact full brothers.
Charlie's real name is Carlos Estevez...and their father's real name is Ramon Estevez.
Sorry to be a dick about facts.
You are incorrect. They are in fact full brothers.
Charlie's real name is Carlos Estevez...and their father's real name is Ramon Estevez.
Sorry to be a dick about facts.
falseprophet
+0 -0
It's okay. Ju an me are amigos.
It's okay. Ju an me are amigos.
history
+0 -0
I...I...don't know what to say to this. I'm sad yet...not. You have confused me, but luckily Salma was close by to make it alright.
I...I...don't know what to say to this. I'm sad yet...not. You have confused me, but luckily Salma was close by to make it alright.
wolfensti
+0 -0
I do feel like you.
I do feel like you.
freerhi
+0 -0
hehe thats good grammar for ya!
top marks to the staddy daddy
hehe thats good grammar for ya!
top marks to the staddy daddy
spectre
+0 -0
Try Wiktionary.
Try Wiktionary.
digdugz
+1 -0
I suggest Father and Daughter as a more fitting Paul Simon song, given the circumstances.
I suggest Father and Daughter as a more fitting Paul Simon song, given the circumstances.
potatoes9000
+2 -0
Or Mrs. Robinson.
Well sort of.
Or Mrs. Robinson.
Well sort of.
steev_dayv
+4 -0
in reverse. Play the song backwards.
in reverse. Play the song backwards.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I would think "Sound of Silence," given his little underwater Graduate homage.
I would think "Sound of Silence," given his little underwater Graduate homage.
hipjiverobot
+15 -0
I KNOW SIMON AND GARFUNKEL SONGS TOO EVERYONE
I KNOW SIMON AND GARFUNKEL SONGS TOO EVERYONE
theguitarhero
+4 -1
Garfunkel is the cat that hates Mondays and likes lasagna, right?
Garfunkel is the cat that hates Mondays and likes lasagna, right?
stereo
+0 -0
Simon is that guy on Pop Idol, right? I didn't know he sang.
Simon is that guy on Pop Idol, right? I didn't know he sang.
theguitarhero
+2 -0
In an ironic twist, he is absolutely bloody awful.
In an ironic twist, he is absolutely bloody awful.
drskradley
+3 -0
Funny story that I can't verify in the slightest:
My sister's friend was at the airport a few years ago, waiting for something or some shit - anyway, she was reading a crappy magazine and generally trying to stay awake, and decided to do some people watching to keep herself amused, when who should come along but one Art Garfunkel. Either nobody else was around, or nobody else recognised him - but I doubt anyone was going to mob him anyway.
He went up to the food stall to get a drink, and then stood and looked around for a second while he waited for the attendant to arrive so as he could get a drink. Then, when there clearly wasn't anyone around that he could see, he goes behind the counter and grabs a drink and walks away holy shit I just saw Art Garfunkel steal something
....then he comes back a minute later with the attendant and pays for it, as he clearly only left to find her.
True story.
Funny story that I can't verify in the slightest:
My sister's friend was at the airport a few years ago, waiting for something or some shit - anyway, she was reading a crappy magazine and generally trying to stay awake, and decided to do some people watching to keep herself amused, when who should come along but one Art Garfunkel. Either nobody else was around, or nobody else recognised him - but I doubt anyone was going to mob him anyway.
He went up to the food stall to get a drink, and then stood and looked around for a second while he waited for the attendant to arrive so as he could get a drink. Then, when there clearly wasn't anyone around that he could see, he goes behind the counter and grabs a drink and walks away holy shit I just saw Art Garfunkel steal something
....then he comes back a minute later with the attendant and pays for it, as he clearly only left to find her.
True story.
goneill451
+0 -0
This is a good Art Garfunkel story. It leads me to believe he is like Curly from City Slickers - take what you want, but never sacrifice your honor, ESPECIALLY at an airport.
This is a good Art Garfunkel story. It leads me to believe he is like Curly from City Slickers - take what you want, but never sacrifice your honor, ESPECIALLY at an airport.
rowboat
+0 -0
I hope to god that it's true. I love imagining it.
I hope to god that it's true. I love imagining it.
smaconi
+0 -0
You know, it's actually the kind of thing I could really see him doing.
You know, it's actually the kind of thing I could really see him doing.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He is the cat that Ray totally hissed down. He has no cat-cred.
He is the cat that Ray totally hissed down. He has no cat-cred.
wozzeck
+1 -0
I would have thought something by Nico and The Velvet Underground.
I would have thought something by Nico and The Velvet Underground.
envika
+0 -0
Hopefully not "Waiting For The Man"
Hopefully not "Waiting For The Man"
wozzeck
+0 -0
If Onstad went that route, I would not... handle it well.
If Onstad went that route, I would not... handle it well.
nice-on-water
+0 -1
Nico is not present on that record.
Nico is not present on that record.
wozzeck
+1 -0
The Velvet Underground and Nico ?
The Velvet Underground and Nico ?
tekende
+0 -0
Not on that song (if I remember correctly), but she is on the record.
Not on that song (if I remember correctly), but she is on the record.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I think tekende's being a dick about terms.
I think tekende's being a dick about terms.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Some men mean what they say. Some men expect this of others.
Some men mean what they say. Some men expect this of others.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm being a dick about recording artist credits .
I'm being a dick about recording artist credits .
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
My mother always said it is important to have a hobby.
My mother always said it is important to have a hobby.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was too. I meant record as in song. Album as in the whole thing on the record. Sorry, I am a supreme dick about terms.
I was too. I meant record as in song. Album as in the whole thing on the record. Sorry, I am a supreme dick about terms.
farqussus
+1 -0
Nico is: Above the Law
Nico is: Above the Law
spectre
+3 -0
Technically, Nico is: Beneath The Ground.
Damn Spanish bike paths!
Technically, Nico is: Beneath The Ground.
Damn Spanish bike paths!
powderfinger
+1 -0
I'd say something more along the lines of "After Hours" as sung by Mo Tucker 2 albums post Nico
I'd say something more along the lines of "After Hours" as sung by Mo Tucker 2 albums post Nico
spectre
+0 -0
Well, I do sort of PREFER Mo to Nico.
Well, I do sort of PREFER Mo to Nico.
em2
+0 -0
"She's a... femme fatale"
"She's a... femme fatale"
hoboninja
+0 -0
Or a Venus in Furs, I guess.
Or a Venus in Furs, I guess.
em2
+0 -0
Well, that's more the kind of thing Connie would be captioning for during his day job.
Well, that's more the kind of thing Connie would be captioning for during his day job.
wozzeck
+0 -0
It's classic literature!
It's classic literature!
wozzeck
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
sje46
+0 -0
HAI EPIC FAIL GUY HOW R YUO?!?!?
HAI EPIC FAIL GUY HOW R YUO?!?!?
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
hm. legislated meat items include: varying extracted meat product surprise. that is all.
hm. legislated meat items include: varying extracted meat product surprise. that is all.
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
I'd be surprised if my meat was extracted.
I'd be surprised if my meat was extracted.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It would probably mess up your drive no end.
It would probably mess up your drive no end.
daedala_x
+0 -2
some people are down.
DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE NOT DOWN.
some people are down.
DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE NOT DOWN.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OMG I AM NOT DOWN I AM NOT DOWN.
I think you need to just put a warning label on all your links "WARNING: BODY MODS ON THE INTERNET."
OMG I AM NOT DOWN I AM NOT DOWN.
I think you need to just put a warning label on all your links "WARNING: BODY MODS ON THE INTERNET."
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
I'm not down. I clicked the link anyway. The linked-to site told me I couldn't see the content unless I registered. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you, oh registration gatekeeper, from protecting my not-down sensibilities from the ravages of my curiosity.
I'm not down. I clicked the link anyway. The linked-to site told me I couldn't see the content unless I registered. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you, oh registration gatekeeper, from protecting my not-down sensibilities from the ravages of my curiosity.
daedala_x
+0 -2
oh man dammit i forget not everyone is registered at such places.
here you go !
oh man dammit i forget not everyone is registered at such places.
here you go !
daedala_x
+0 -2
the second pic is a before photo. quite pretty.
dammit i wish y'all could see the comments section where everybody's all "zomg ur so awesome i want to cut off my cock and balls too!" and "it must feel really special to lay on a woman and not be able to achieve climax. mad props."
seriously, everyone should just sign up already because i'm just gonna keep posting links.
the second pic is a before photo. quite pretty.
dammit i wish y'all could see the comments section where everybody's all "zomg ur so awesome i want to cut off my cock and balls too!" and "it must feel really special to lay on a woman and not be able to achieve climax. mad props."
seriously, everyone should just sign up already because i'm just gonna keep posting links.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Why though? If everyone is disgusted by it, I just don't understand why you would.
Why though? If everyone is disgusted by it, I just don't understand why you would.
tekende
+0 -0
You just answered your own question.
You just answered your own question.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
well then that's just rude daedala_x.
well then that's just rude daedala_x.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Also why in gods name would someone do that to themselves?! He had a huge fucking penis!!!
Also why in gods name would someone do that to themselves?! He had a huge fucking penis!!!
redphillip
+0 -0
TGH, this poor fellow obviously wasn't friends with his junk. He believed life would be better with as little of it as possible, yet he also clearly didn't think that life would be better as a female. This guy is in a place entirely foreign to me, where I never would go. I admit to a fascination with trying to figure out the why , however.
TGH, this poor fellow obviously wasn't friends with his junk. He believed life would be better with as little of it as possible, yet he also clearly didn't think that life would be better as a female. This guy is in a place entirely foreign to me, where I never would go. I admit to a fascination with trying to figure out the why , however.
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
I'm friends with my junk but I'm not at all sure the feeling's mutual.
I'm friends with my junk but I'm not at all sure the feeling's mutual.
kamet
+0 -0
The FUCK, woman.
The FUCK, woman.
belgand
+0 -0
Not bad, but this man is literally shooting flames out of the end of his member.
Not bad, but this man is literally shooting flames out of the end of his member.
redphillip
+0 -0
It takes some kind of crazy to shove a butane lighter into your dick and keep it in place with spare hypodermic needles, one of them apparently holding open the valve to allow the flame effect.
It takes some kind of crazy to shove a butane lighter into your dick and keep it in place with spare hypodermic needles, one of them apparently holding open the valve to allow the flame effect.
achilleselbow
+1 -1
steev_dayv
+0 -0
This is something Nice Pete would do to prevent pubics.
This is something Nice Pete would do to prevent pubics.
kaz
+0 -0
Sounds about right in regards to public school food
Sounds about right in regards to public school food
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Industrial grade food substitutes have never been treated to so eloquent a description.
Industrial grade food substitutes have never been treated to so eloquent a description.
thestatutoryape
+0 -0
We called mini corn dogs "Weinie Critters" at my elementary school - does that count?
We called mini corn dogs "Weinie Critters" at my elementary school - does that count?
daidai
+6 -0
In my middle school I once found a single olive in my mashed potatoes. No one else found olives.
I pray every night that it was an olive.
In my middle school I once found a single olive in my mashed potatoes. No one else found olives.
I pray every night that it was an olive.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
it wasn't an olive
it wasn't an olive
featurelessvoid
+18 -0
Shut up and eat your olive.
Shut up and eat your olive.
thegoblins
+7 -0
Somehow, I find this creature vaguely adorable.
Somehow, I find this creature vaguely adorable.
spectre
+1 -0
Related, I believe, to the Flying SpaghettiMonster.
Related, I believe, to the Flying SpaghettiMonster.
sje46
+2 -0
I was touched by his noodly appendage.
I did not ask for it.
My name is Sean, and God raped me .
I was touched by his noodly appendage.
I did not ask for it.
My name is Sean, and God raped me .
actualtaunt
+1 -0
Praise His Starchiness, O children of Men!
His Noodles doth touch us with grace from the Bowl of Heaven.
May the Sauce of his love simmer in your heart, and the glory of which radiates from his meatballs of light purify your soul.
As we are tested in these three minutes in boiling water until tender, we await the coming of the sauce packet of your love.
R'Amen.
Praise His Starchiness, O children of Men!
His Noodles doth touch us with grace from the Bowl of Heaven.
May the Sauce of his love simmer in your heart, and the glory of which radiates from his meatballs of light purify your soul.
As we are tested in these three minutes in boiling water until tender, we await the coming of the sauce packet of your love.
R'Amen.
zapatos
+0 -0
It is most refreshing to see my brothers and sisters here, I am glad to know that I will meet you under the beer volcano.
It is most refreshing to see my brothers and sisters here, I am glad to know that I will meet you under the beer volcano.
redphillip
+0 -0
sje, do you want me to beat him up for this...this...this violation? I will not have my boys molested without my permission, tentacle-hentai monster god or no. Even one named Sean.
sje, do you want me to beat him up for this...this...this violation? I will not have my boys molested without my permission, tentacle-hentai monster god or no. Even one named Sean.
cromar
+0 -0
Cheesy mashed Cherubim, anyone?
Cheesy mashed Cherubim, anyone?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
[i]OH SHIIIIIT
[i]OH SHIIIIIT
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Sorry, I over[i]'d it.
Sorry, I over[i]'d it.
steev_dayv
+1 -0
This is a necessary thing.
This is a necessary thing.
thegoblins
+0 -0
What?
What?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Better yet, this
Better yet, this
reverendtmac
+0 -0
Why...why would you want a square egg?
Why...why would you want a square egg?
biff
+2 -0
Because you are a blockhead?
Oh no, wait, I have it!! To bring peace to Lilliput!
Because you are a blockhead?
Oh no, wait, I have it!! To bring peace to Lilliput!
tekende
+0 -0
Or you can, you know, use a knife. It isn't that difficult.
Or you can, you know, use a knife. It isn't that difficult.
zapatos
+0 -0
Or you can avoid eating hotdogs.
Or you can avoid eating hotdogs.
tekende
+1 -0
NEVER
NEVER
zapatos
+0 -0
But they are hell of nasty. They are dog shit nasty.
But they are hell of nasty. They are dog shit nasty.
belgand
+0 -0
That means that you have never had a well-made hot dog from a reputable source.
That means that you have never had a well-made hot dog from a reputable source.
zapatos
+0 -0
They were held in high esteem, by the ballcap wearing masses.
They were held in high esteem, by the ballcap wearing masses.
zapatos
+0 -0
Says the kid in a ball cap. Fuck.
Says the kid in a ball cap. Fuck.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
It may just be me, but I love the street dogs in NYC. It may be because I don't live there.
It may just be me, but I love the street dogs in NYC. It may be because I don't live there.
zapatos
+0 -0
It may be because they are actually cooked, and not slightly steamed and served on an untoasted gnarly $0.03 bun without relish.
Maybe it is because they are so tastey. Hell I am getting drunk on cider and crown, yeha
It may be because they are actually cooked, and not slightly steamed and served on an untoasted gnarly $0.03 bun without relish.
Maybe it is because they are so tastey. Hell I am getting drunk on cider and crown, yeha
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Yes. It could be that they are in hotdog water for many many hours. Absorbing hotdog water. Dripping hotdog water.
Yes. It could be that they are in hotdog water for many many hours. Absorbing hotdog water. Dripping hotdog water.
rowboat
+0 -0
Hot dog water can make you survive.
Hot dog water can make you survive.
zapatos
+0 -0
"You will NOT die today!" proclaimed the HotdogWater
"You will NOT die today!" proclaimed the HotdogWater
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Sean Connery: Mr Bear has put you on notice.
Sean Connery: Mr Bear has put you on notice.
tessebatt
+0 -0
I want a boyfriend like Cornelius!!
I want a boyfriend like Cornelius!!
daedala_x
+5 -1
my old lady geezer alter ego takes offense to the sentiments expressed by Mr. Cornelius Bear. that little strumpet probably thinks Sibelius is the name of the new Cadillac model with a hybrid engine and an interior woodgrain trim. my old cunny is seasoned!
Cornelius disappoints me, truly. rather than regaining his youth through such exploits, it has made him seem all the more elderly, and dare i say, even a mite desperate . (here come the lames.) what i appreciated so much about Cornelius in the past was his effortless class which shone through despite his aloof modesty. here he assumes an air of defensiveness and arrogance, but i suppose traipsing around with a woman young enough to be your granddaughter will do that to a man.
my old lady geezer alter ego takes offense to the sentiments expressed by Mr. Cornelius Bear. that little strumpet probably thinks Sibelius is the name of the new Cadillac model with a hybrid engine and an interior woodgrain trim. my old cunny is seasoned!
Cornelius disappoints me, truly. rather than regaining his youth through such exploits, it has made him seem all the more elderly, and dare i say, even a mite desperate . (here come the lames.) what i appreciated so much about Cornelius in the past was his effortless class which shone through despite his aloof modesty. here he assumes an air of defensiveness and arrogance, but i suppose traipsing around with a woman young enough to be your granddaughter will do that to a man.
wozzeck
+4 -0
You are grandly, spitefully envious of a cartoon she-bear.
You are grandly, spitefully envious of a cartoon she-bear.
nice-on-water
+4 -0
True love knows no age. Except for 18.
True love knows no age. Except for 18.
tekende
+0 -0
16 in some states.
Even younger in some countries.
16 in some states.
Even younger in some countries.
wozzeck
+0 -0
12 in others.
12 in others.
tekende
+2 -0
*starts packing his bags*
*starts packing his bags*
sje46
+0 -0
Where ya goin'?
Where ya goin'?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
To Scarborough Fair.
To Scarborough Fair.
sje46
+0 -1
Oh.
What's there?
Oh.
What's there?
em2
+0 -0
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme...etc, etc.
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme...etc, etc.
sje46
+0 -0
Okay. Thanks.
(This sounds like a reference to something. I am reminded of Family Guy.)
Okay. Thanks.
(This sounds like a reference to something. I am reminded of Family Guy.)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh please don't. No no. Please. No.
Simon and Garfunkel.
Oh please don't. No no. Please. No.
Simon and Garfunkel.
sje46
+0 -0
I was thinking a 60s folk group like them.
I woulda laid money but I tend to be not so keen on laying money on people and things, not since I had to juggle my wallet and three bags of groceries next to a homeless man in D.C.
I was thinking a 60s folk group like them.
I woulda laid money but I tend to be not so keen on laying money on people and things, not since I had to juggle my wallet and three bags of groceries next to a homeless man in D.C.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
He's all starin' at you. All like, "can you spare some change?" and you're like, "no." And he just looks at you, and you both know that you lied.
He's all starin' at you. All like, "can you spare some change?" and you're like, "no." And he just looks at you, and you both know that you lied.
sje46
+0 -0
Then you clarify "Well, I have change, but I feel that I deserve it more in order to buy a girly mag than you need it to buy food or shelter."
The truth doesn't always set you free.
Then you clarify "Well, I have change, but I feel that I deserve it more in order to buy a girly mag than you need it to buy food or shelter."
The truth doesn't always set you free.
stereo
+0 -0
I keep my money in my dick, you wanna suck it out?
I keep my money in my dick, you wanna suck it out?
stereo
+0 -0
Only the coins, of course. Bills would just get soggy.
Only the coins, of course. Bills would just get soggy.
stereo
+0 -0
Foreskin, nature's change purse
Foreskin, nature's change purse
stereo
+0 -0
When I become aroused, I automatically deposit money in her slot.
When I become aroused, I automatically deposit money in her slot.
stereo
+0 -0
Warning: Copper coins may cause skin discolouration
Warning: Copper coins may cause skin discolouration
stereo
+0 -0
This works better in Canada and Britain, since the coins have real value.
This works better in Canada and Britain, since the coins have real value.
stereo
+0 -0
Ever wonder where 50 cent got his name? all pennies, my boy
Ever wonder where 50 cent got his name? all pennies, my boy
aperson
+0 -0
I wonder how many two pound coins I can stuff in there...
I wonder how many two pound coins I can stuff in there...
stereo
+0 -0
crap crap crap I forgot the one about hiding nickels under there and then meeting Nickelback and giving them a nickel...back
crap crap crap I forgot the one about hiding nickels under there and then meeting Nickelback and giving them a nickel...back
nice-on-water
+0 -0
HERE'S YOUR NICKEL BACK
WHAT A DELIGHTFUL NAME FOR A BAND
HERE'S YOUR NICKEL BACK
WHAT A DELIGHTFUL NAME FOR A BAND
aperson
+0 -0
Tell me about it.
Tell me about it.
aperson
+0 -0
That's what SHE said! Hang on...
That's what SHE said! Hang on...
aperson
+0 -0
Heheh. So true.
Heheh. So true.
aperson
+0 -0
Ah, of course.
Ah, of course.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
This are responses to separate messages? Are you just agreeable?
This are responses to separate messages? Are you just agreeable?
aperson
+0 -0
Yep, assetbarista or examination of html source will prove it.
Yep, assetbarista or examination of html source will prove it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hahahaha wow.
Hahahaha wow.
aperson
+0 -0
That was a protest against assetbar's bad message threading.
That was a protest against assetbar's bad message threading.
stereo
+0 -0
It's a good thing we can edit comments here cause otherwise I would have had to have had to have had to .... click click krrrrrrrrr snick
It's a good thing we can edit comments here cause otherwise I would have had to have had to have had to .... click click krrrrrrrrr snick
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Assetbarista really does make somewhat of a difference in situations like this, fyi.
If you have the means to pick one up, I highly recommend it. It is so choice!
Assetbarista really does make somewhat of a difference in situations like this, fyi.
If you have the means to pick one up, I highly recommend it. It is so choice!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I tried but apparently it doesn't work for the newest version of Firefox, which seems odd to me. Maybe I'm just fucking up somehow?
I tried but apparently it doesn't work for the newest version of Firefox, which seems odd to me. Maybe I'm just fucking up somehow?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It works for me, but the newest version of Firefox is pissing me off because every time I close the browser window it logs me off of everything and I'm not looking forward to reinstalling.
It works for me, but the newest version of Firefox is pissing me off because every time I close the browser window it logs me off of everything and I'm not looking forward to reinstalling.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I keep downloading Greasemonkey and it keeps saying 3.0.04 or whatever doesn't support it. Fucking computer. Anyone have a cricket bat?
I should check that again, because now I'm not sure.
I keep downloading Greasemonkey and it keeps saying 3.0.04 or whatever doesn't support it. Fucking computer. Anyone have a cricket bat?
I should check that again, because now I'm not sure.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:( I don't know what to tell you...
:( I don't know what to tell you...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I sure wish someone did. I'm only half computer literate. I'll give it another try.
I sure wish someone did. I'm only half computer literate. I'll give it another try.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Your ff is probably douched on that computer, so no matter what version you run, you'll get that. It does get a script corrupted from time to time or something.
Your ff is probably douched on that computer, so no matter what version you run, you'll get that. It does get a script corrupted from time to time or something.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Any way to fix it?
Any way to fix it?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well, it's kinda radical, and not guaranteed. You'd want to save your bookmarks and pw's and all that crap somewhere, then proceed to not only uninstall FF, but then manually delete Mozilla\firefox from Application Data in Docs & Settings.
It would be nice to know more about the way it's built so maybe one file could be replaced instead of the whole schmeer.
This is assuming that the latest java is installed and is not the original issue here.
Well, it's kinda radical, and not guaranteed. You'd want to save your bookmarks and pw's and all that crap somewhere, then proceed to not only uninstall FF, but then manually delete Mozilla\firefox from Application Data in Docs & Settings.
It would be nice to know more about the way it's built so maybe one file could be replaced instead of the whole schmeer.
This is assuming that the latest java is installed and is not the original issue here.
daedala_x
+0 -0
i haven't been having much luck either. the interesting thing is, i first installed it before having the newest firefox. it didn't work, so i updated firefox, and reinstalled. still nothing.
i also ate two whole pieces of cheesecake yesterday. i felt pretty terrible about it. it contributes to my story of Failure.
i haven't been having much luck either. the interesting thing is, i first installed it before having the newest firefox. it didn't work, so i updated firefox, and reinstalled. still nothing.
i also ate two whole pieces of cheesecake yesterday. i felt pretty terrible about it. it contributes to my story of Failure.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Same thing happened to me except I don't eat more than one forkful of cheesecake as a rule, but I did have 2 bowls of pumpkin pie ice cream yesterday.
Same thing happened to me except I don't eat more than one forkful of cheesecake as a rule, but I did have 2 bowls of pumpkin pie ice cream yesterday.
zapatos
+0 -0
Cheesecake always makes me feel like a winner. Did you know they have Cheesecake flavored Cream Cheese?
It is so tastey and good on Honey Wheat Bagels.
Cheesecake always makes me feel like a winner. Did you know they have Cheesecake flavored Cream Cheese?
It is so tastey and good on Honey Wheat Bagels.
zapatos
+0 -0
AND TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRLS FOR THE SEXING
AND TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRLS FOR THE SEXING
smilebuddha
+0 -0
THE SEXING
Coming this fall to theaters near you...
THE SEXING
Coming this fall to theaters near you...
sje46
+0 -0
SEXUS PUER MOLESTUS EST.
SEXUS PUER MOLESTUS EST.
zapatos
+0 -0
Punk is dead and so is latin, stop using it.
...and so are your parents.
Punk is dead and so is latin, stop using it.
...and so are your parents.
sje46
+0 -0
You're mean.
You're mean.
sje46
+0 -0
Meanie.
Meanie.
zapatos
+0 -0
Cutie.
Cutie.
sje46
+0 -0
XD
XD
zapatos
+0 -0
Yeah, well you're cute.
Yeah, well you're cute.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It just occurred to me that there should be a punk band that sings entirely in Latin.
It just occurred to me that there should be a punk band that sings entirely in Latin.
zapatos
+0 -0
Could they make demo casettes?
Could they make demo casettes?
belgand
+0 -0
Haven't we already told you how that is entirely incorrect?
Haven't we already told you how that is entirely incorrect?
sje46
+0 -0
Haven't I explained to you how it IS correct, and you didn't reply to me?
"Est" is the verb, puer molestus is "annoying boy". It is 100% correct.
Haven't I explained to you how it IS correct, and you didn't reply to me?
"Est" is the verb, puer molestus is "annoying boy". It is 100% correct.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Damn Assetbar Phillipe, you tell him off like he's the Pope insulting your mother!
Damn Assetbar Phillipe, you tell him off like he's the Pope insulting your mother!
stereo
+0 -0
Speaking of movies starting with "The" and having dumb titles, has anyone seen this ? I'm kinda curious about that "dreadlocked pixie" Olsen
Speaking of movies starting with "The" and having dumb titles, has anyone seen this ? I'm kinda curious about that "dreadlocked pixie" Olsen
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I read the plot summary as a comedy and immediately thought National Lampoon reject, which is hard to do (get a movie rejected by National Lampoon). Then I thought of it as a drama and thought ABC Family Original Movie reject.
I read the plot summary as a comedy and immediately thought National Lampoon reject, which is hard to do (get a movie rejected by National Lampoon). Then I thought of it as a drama and thought ABC Family Original Movie reject.
belgand
+0 -0
The Sexening 2: Second Coming
The Sexening 2: Second Coming
steev_dayv
+0 -0
The Sexening Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
The Sexening Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
catgrl131
+0 -0
The Sexeninig 6: Electric Boogaloo
The Sexeninig 6: Electric Boogaloo
redphillip
+1 -0
16 in my state. Too bad they often aren't quite sentient at that age.
16 in my state. Too bad they often aren't quite sentient at that age.
biff
+1 -0
Don't assume that's just age.
Don't assume that's just age.
jonno
+0 -0
Your standards are too high.
Your standards are too high.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Your hair is too long.
Your hair is too long.
sje46
+0 -0
Your water is too nice.
Your water is too nice.
sje46
+0 -0
I meant
Your wabaryter is too nibaryce.
I meant
Your wabaryter is too nibaryce.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Your Beef is too gravit...ational...?
Your Beef is too gravit...ational...?
sje46
+1 -1
That'll do, pig.
That'll do.
That'll do, pig.
That'll do.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Snicker-snack and Teodor's face in Panel 3 shows he is run-through by unexpected Olympic quickness and lightning reflexes.
The old bear is effortless, his Chi is fully rejuvenated. Do not diss his love for his flower, or face his steel.
Snicker-snack and Teodor's face in Panel 3 shows he is run-through by unexpected Olympic quickness and lightning reflexes.
The old bear is effortless, his Chi is fully rejuvenated. Do not diss his love for his flower, or face his steel.
redphillip
+1 -0
I chubbied you, my Deadala, for a few reasons. One is that you picked up on that wonderful old word cunny , which should have more currency to brighten our era of degraded txtng and OMG English. Twom that you have so enthusiastically embraced your inner ladygeezer, so full of seasoning! Third, because you challenge Cornelius, whether your challenge be found justified or not. Dating someone young enough to be a grandchild of mine would land me in jail for statutory rape or child abuse; I have a few years to go before that demographic is legally within my purview. I do know I have caught myself with perhaps a little bit too much eagerness when I get to meet my little college boy, and that eagerness has a whiff of the desperate about it. Maybe this is true for Mr. Bear as well. As our friend Stereo likes to say, "There comes a time."
I chubbied you, my Deadala, for a few reasons. One is that you picked up on that wonderful old word cunny , which should have more currency to brighten our era of degraded txtng and OMG English. Twom that you have so enthusiastically embraced your inner ladygeezer, so full of seasoning! Third, because you challenge Cornelius, whether your challenge be found justified or not. Dating someone young enough to be a grandchild of mine would land me in jail for statutory rape or child abuse; I have a few years to go before that demographic is legally within my purview. I do know I have caught myself with perhaps a little bit too much eagerness when I get to meet my little college boy, and that eagerness has a whiff of the desperate about it. Maybe this is true for Mr. Bear as well. As our friend Stereo likes to say, "There comes a time."
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
Chubbied for old seasoned cunny. Goddamn!
Chubbied for old seasoned cunny. Goddamn!
aeater
+2 -0
Cornelius has stopped being your English professor and is now in your mind's eye more of a Hugh Hefner.
Cornelius has stopped being your English professor and is now in your mind's eye more of a Hugh Hefner.
daedala_x
+0 -0
right man exactly.
i like English professors... :(
right man exactly.
i like English professors... :(
achilleselbow
+1 -1
The two are not mutually exclusive. The two English professors at my school that I admired and respected most both ended up doing a Cornelius kind of thing. The charming Scottish professor of Gothic and Victorian literature ended up not getting his contract renewed amid a flurry of rumors and accusations of midnight trysts with sorority girls in his department office. And the nerdy Restoration expert suddenly divorced his wife and took a year's leave of absence; when I knocked on his door to get my recommendation letter, I was greeted by the hot art major girl whom I had been too afraid to talk to in class. The thing that makes this even more messed up is that the department only had like eight people. This was the beginning of my disillusionment with the idea of noble intellectual asceticism.
The two are not mutually exclusive. The two English professors at my school that I admired and respected most both ended up doing a Cornelius kind of thing. The charming Scottish professor of Gothic and Victorian literature ended up not getting his contract renewed amid a flurry of rumors and accusations of midnight trysts with sorority girls in his department office. And the nerdy Restoration expert suddenly divorced his wife and took a year's leave of absence; when I knocked on his door to get my recommendation letter, I was greeted by the hot art major girl whom I had been too afraid to talk to in class. The thing that makes this even more messed up is that the department only had like eight people. This was the beginning of my disillusionment with the idea of noble intellectual asceticism.
aperson
+0 -0
See also daedala_x's comment, above.
See also daedala_x's comment, above.
daedala_x
+0 -0
did it make them feel alive ?
did it make them feel alive ?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
By comparison.
By comparison.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
They had olde Bonus for young, sororial tonus.
Oh hell, I crack myself up sometimes.
Bon'em, bon'em, bon'em....
They had olde Bonus for young, sororial tonus.
Oh hell, I crack myself up sometimes.
Bon'em, bon'em, bon'em....
sje46
+1 -0
Note to self:
become English professor.
Note to self:
become English professor.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
English professor- Is Plan 9 From Outer Space in most run-down, deserted drive-in.
English professor- Is Plan 9 From Outer Space in most run-down, deserted drive-in.
riazm
+0 -0
Liquor Magazine sounds a bit like Modern Drunkard Magazine. Moderndrunkardmagazine.com
Liquor Magazine sounds a bit like Modern Drunkard Magazine. Moderndrunkardmagazine.com
daidai
+2 -0
Hello again, Nice Pete. Nice to see you enjoy cow murder as much as normal murder.
It is my favorite murder.
Hello again, Nice Pete. Nice to see you enjoy cow murder as much as normal murder.
It is my favorite murder.
tekende
+4 -0
Nice Pete often watches the cow shooting part in O Brother Where Art Thou on repeat for hours.
Nice Pete often watches the cow shooting part in O Brother Where Art Thou on repeat for hours.
daidai
+0 -0
And can't sleep without watching the cow shooting scene in Napoleon Dynamite , then promptly shuts off the TV before he sees any more of the movie.
And can't sleep without watching the cow shooting scene in Napoleon Dynamite , then promptly shuts off the TV before he sees any more of the movie.
tekende
+0 -0
That is one of the funniest parts in that movie.
That is one of the funniest parts in that movie.
sje46
+0 -0
The rest of the movie is murder.
Am I correct, fellow men?
The rest of the movie is murder.
Am I correct, fellow men?
rowboat
+0 -0
OK. Here's the limb.
OK. Here's me going out onto that limb.
Get ready.
I never understood why everyone hated Napoleon Dynamite so much. I'm not saying I thought it was great or anything, but there are clearly things out there which are so much worse but end up being spared the sort of intense ridicule which that movie has been the constant target of. It's gotten to the point at which a person is considered to be terrible for not hating it appropriately and that level of cultural disdain always bothers me.
Anybody care to explain this? I'm really curious.
OK. Here's the limb.
OK. Here's me going out onto that limb.
Get ready.
I never understood why everyone hated Napoleon Dynamite so much. I'm not saying I thought it was great or anything, but there are clearly things out there which are so much worse but end up being spared the sort of intense ridicule which that movie has been the constant target of. It's gotten to the point at which a person is considered to be terrible for not hating it appropriately and that level of cultural disdain always bothers me.
Anybody care to explain this? I'm really curious.
tekende
+0 -0
Because when something suddenly becomes hugely popular (and Napoleon Dynamite did become VERY popular, often amongst types of people who "aren't supposed to be able to GET this, you know?", like frat boys), there is an inevitable backlash which is usually disproportionate to the thing in question's quality (or lack thereof).
See also: Family Guy.
Because when something suddenly becomes hugely popular (and Napoleon Dynamite did become VERY popular, often amongst types of people who "aren't supposed to be able to GET this, you know?", like frat boys), there is an inevitable backlash which is usually disproportionate to the thing in question's quality (or lack thereof).
See also: Family Guy.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
YES.
YES.
rowboat
+0 -0
I understand what you're saying, tekende. It's basically exactly how I felt when I finally got to go see Radiohead a couple of years ago. All jocks. All frat boys. What do douche bags like these get from a song like "No Surprises?"
So, yeah.
But on the other hand, I didn't stop liking Radiohead just because of what their fan base had apparently become. I guess that's where I differ.
Also, I saw N.D. for the first time a year or so after it was released and I was mostly unaware of it's popularity when I finally did see it (and completely unaware of it's popularity among frat boys, or whomever). I guess I just watched it as I would watch any movie and I thought it was alright.
Again, let me say that I'm not, like, fighting for this movie. I just thought it was OK and it always blew my mind to hear people talking about it as if it were...I dunno... Crossroads, or something. That's all.
I understand what you're saying, tekende. It's basically exactly how I felt when I finally got to go see Radiohead a couple of years ago. All jocks. All frat boys. What do douche bags like these get from a song like "No Surprises?"
So, yeah.
But on the other hand, I didn't stop liking Radiohead just because of what their fan base had apparently become. I guess that's where I differ.
Also, I saw N.D. for the first time a year or so after it was released and I was mostly unaware of it's popularity when I finally did see it (and completely unaware of it's popularity among frat boys, or whomever). I guess I just watched it as I would watch any movie and I thought it was alright.
Again, let me say that I'm not, like, fighting for this movie. I just thought it was OK and it always blew my mind to hear people talking about it as if it were...I dunno... Crossroads, or something. That's all.
stereo
+0 -0
I think I stopped liking Radiohead because of the music they were making. Frat boys didn't enter into it, except possibly as the primary audience for In Rainbows.
I think I stopped liking Radiohead because of the music they were making. Frat boys didn't enter into it, except possibly as the primary audience for In Rainbows.
snidedk
+1 -0
Are we talking Britney Spears Crossroads or Karate Kid Crossroads ? Because, if it's the second, you shut your damn fool mouth!
Are we talking Britney Spears Crossroads or Karate Kid Crossroads ? Because, if it's the second, you shut your damn fool mouth!
mattylite
+0 -0
Chubbied because at first I didn't even bat an eye at "Karate Kid" instead of, uh, what's his real name, Pony Boy, I think that's it.
Chubbied because at first I didn't even bat an eye at "Karate Kid" instead of, uh, what's his real name, Pony Boy, I think that's it.
belgand
+0 -0
Family also just started to get worse and worse and stupider and stupider.
As for Napoleon Dynamite I had the option to see it at a pre-release screening and, for whatever reason, I failed to follow up on this. The ensuing popularity really made me reconsider wanting to see it in the first place. I think it was a year or so later by the time I actually managed to watch it.
Family also just started to get worse and worse and stupider and stupider.
As for Napoleon Dynamite I had the option to see it at a pre-release screening and, for whatever reason, I failed to follow up on this. The ensuing popularity really made me reconsider wanting to see it in the first place. I think it was a year or so later by the time I actually managed to watch it.
sje46
+0 -0
I kinda liked it. Not a whole lot. I kinda found it to be a sad movie, even though that wasn't its intent.
Oddly, my siblings hated it, while my parents thought it was hilarious.
I kinda liked it. Not a whole lot. I kinda found it to be a sad movie, even though that wasn't its intent.
Oddly, my siblings hated it, while my parents thought it was hilarious.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
notcool
+0 -0
These are my feelings on the movie.
Listen.
I got to the part at the beginning of the movie. The one with the two kids, the bike, and the ramp. You remember that part, right?
THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL, BY THE WAY.
I was groovin' on the movie, even though it wasn't really my thing, when I realized, suddenly, out of the blue...
That this was my life. If I had stayed in North Carolina.
And this would've been my children's life, if I had stayed there.
I had to turn the movie off. I could not watch it any more. And have not since.
These are my feelings on the movie.
Listen.
I got to the part at the beginning of the movie. The one with the two kids, the bike, and the ramp. You remember that part, right?
THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL, BY THE WAY.
I was groovin' on the movie, even though it wasn't really my thing, when I realized, suddenly, out of the blue...
That this was my life. If I had stayed in North Carolina.
And this would've been my children's life, if I had stayed there.
I had to turn the movie off. I could not watch it any more. And have not since.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Right train of thought, wrong Coen Brothers movie.
I thought of Chigurh in No Country For Old Men .
Right train of thought, wrong Coen Brothers movie.
I thought of Chigurh in No Country For Old Men .
blueloggy
+0 -0
Correct.
Correct.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't remember any cow-shooting in that movie.
But there is cow-shooting in O Brother . When George is having the car chase/shootout with the cops.
"Cops! I hate cops more than anything! Except maybe...cows!"
I don't remember any cow-shooting in that movie.
But there is cow-shooting in O Brother . When George is having the car chase/shootout with the cops.
"Cops! I hate cops more than anything! Except maybe...cows!"
reverendtmac
+0 -0
Wasn't any, IIRC. Of course, there was a lot of creative use of a cattlegun.
"Oh, Anton, not the livestock..."
Wasn't any, IIRC. Of course, there was a lot of creative use of a cattlegun.
"Oh, Anton, not the livestock..."
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah, Nice Pete kinda reminds me of Anton Chigurh. Both are classy, sophisticated, cold blooded murderers.
Yeah, Nice Pete kinda reminds me of Anton Chigurh. Both are classy, sophisticated, cold blooded murderers.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oh, I disagree.
Chigurh has $-ial motive. Pete.....is motivated by....Abstract Things.
Motive is Everything.
Oh, I disagree.
Chigurh has $-ial motive. Pete.....is motivated by....Abstract Things.
Motive is Everything.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's not true. When Chigurh hunts down the dude's wife at the end, there is no financial motive, just his completely fucked up "code of honor".
That's not true. When Chigurh hunts down the dude's wife at the end, there is no financial motive, just his completely fucked up "code of honor".
biff
+0 -0
Right. He has to kill her because he told the dead husband that he would.
He can't be made to have lied to a dead man.
Right. He has to kill her because he told the dead husband that he would.
He can't be made to have lied to a dead man.
stereo
+0 -0
Well, not unless she calls it.
Well, not unless she calls it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He can't take the chance. She knew a man once.
He can't take the chance. She knew a man once.
belgand
+0 -0
He is, ultimately, principled in that he has principles and he refuses to compromise them.
He is, however, willing to use the coin toss to accept that there is, perhaps, a fate to all people. He may be wrong, but the coin will tell the truth. The coin will be the instrument by which fate makes itself known.
Is like Magic 8 Ball of murderings.
He is, ultimately, principled in that he has principles and he refuses to compromise them.
He is, however, willing to use the coin toss to accept that there is, perhaps, a fate to all people. He may be wrong, but the coin will tell the truth. The coin will be the instrument by which fate makes itself known.
Is like Magic 8 Ball of murderings.
history
+0 -0
There is not one scene in that movie where he is remotely motivated by money. He was living his life in the way he saw most fit, and had a job that corresponded to that view.
There is not one scene in that movie where he is remotely motivated by money. He was living his life in the way he saw most fit, and had a job that corresponded to that view.
aperson
+0 -0
And they are neither classy nor sophisticated.
And they are neither classy nor sophisticated.
reverendtmac
+2 -0
If Chigurh was classy or sophisticated - I'm not fussy, pick one - he'd get a fucking haircut.
oh god, I'm turning into my dad
If Chigurh was classy or sophisticated - I'm not fussy, pick one - he'd get a fucking haircut.
oh god, I'm turning into my dad
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Javier Bardem actually lamented something along the lines of "Oh, shit, I'm never going to get laid again" after getting his hair cut for the film.
Javier Bardem actually lamented something along the lines of "Oh, shit, I'm never going to get laid again" after getting his hair cut for the film.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
haha
what is wrong with me if I found that particular haircut very toothsome?
i need a time machine :_(
haha
what is wrong with me if I found that particular haircut very toothsome?
i need a time machine :_(
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I had hair like that for a few months before my friends had an intervention and made me cut it.
I had hair like that for a few months before my friends had an intervention and made me cut it.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Now there's a banging good holiday gift item idea- a Coffee Table Book: Hairstyles of Serial Murderers {fictional and real, infamous and those not-yet-discovered}.
Now there's a banging good holiday gift item idea- a Coffee Table Book: Hairstyles of Serial Murderers {fictional and real, infamous and those not-yet-discovered}.
stereo
+0 -0
It was 1983, they hadn't invented decent haircuts yet.
Plus he did surgery on himself, I'm pretty sure he could cut his own hair too.
It was 1983, they hadn't invented decent haircuts yet.
Plus he did surgery on himself, I'm pretty sure he could cut his own hair too.
reverendtmac
+0 -0
Hadn't invented decent haircuts? Tell it to this guy .
Hadn't invented decent haircuts? Tell it to this guy .
i_love_kate
+0 -0
As that page was loading I briefly confused the title with Deep Impact and all of the muscles in my abdomen kind of tensed up as though I thought someone was about to throw a low one at my guts.
As that page was loading I briefly confused the title with Deep Impact and all of the muscles in my abdomen kind of tensed up as though I thought someone was about to throw a low one at my guts.
sje46
+0 -0
He kills a bunch of chickens, I do believe.
He kills a bunch of chickens, I do believe.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hmmmmmm I wouldn't assume so, but I guess it's a pretty okay possibility. All kinds of shit would build up on such a chicken-bearing vehicle anyway. He might gave just turfed them out onto the side of the road.
Hmmmmmm I wouldn't assume so, but I guess it's a pretty okay possibility. All kinds of shit would build up on such a chicken-bearing vehicle anyway. He might gave just turfed them out onto the side of the road.
belgand
+0 -0
Bah, that is totally not his style. Nice Pete is a fan of Blood of the Beasts a 1949 documentary short of actual animal slaughter in Parisian slaughterhouses. You can view it on YouTube here in three parts. The director later went on to make Eyes Without A Face .
It is, quite honestly, the most horrible thing I have ever seen. One second it is a horse being led around by people whom it trusts, the next second it is lying on the ground and it is meat and it is treated as meat with no regard for it being alive just a moment before.
I'm not a vegetarian, but watching this really made me want to be.
Bah, that is totally not his style. Nice Pete is a fan of Blood of the Beasts a 1949 documentary short of actual animal slaughter in Parisian slaughterhouses. You can view it on YouTube here in three parts. The director later went on to make Eyes Without A Face .
It is, quite honestly, the most horrible thing I have ever seen. One second it is a horse being led around by people whom it trusts, the next second it is lying on the ground and it is meat and it is treated as meat with no regard for it being alive just a moment before.
I'm not a vegetarian, but watching this really made me want to be.
aperson
+0 -0
Oh I dunno. I thought it looked "nice and clean".
Oh I dunno. I thought it looked "nice and clean".
mehighlow
+0 -0
And then, Nice Pete turns to Wikipedia.
Wikipedia will tremble tonight.
And then, Nice Pete turns to Wikipedia.
Wikipedia will tremble tonight.
smilebuddha
+3 -0
When Beef says "legislated meat item", I'm reminded of the old line about those who like sausage and the law should never watch either being made. But I think that he would get something like this on his bring orange plastic tray, doled out by a thick and grumpy lunch matron and dripping with a brown gray grease the could charitably be called "gravy":
When Beef says "legislated meat item", I'm reminded of the old line about those who like sausage and the law should never watch either being made. But I think that he would get something like this on his bring orange plastic tray, doled out by a thick and grumpy lunch matron and dripping with a brown gray grease the could charitably be called "gravy":
daidai
+1 -0
Tomorrow has made a phone call to today!
Tomorrow has made a phone call to today!
peppill
+8 -0
If the can bloated or air leakage, please don't eat it.
If the can bloated or air leakage, please don't eat it.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Reliable forever
Reliable forever
stereo
+2 -0
What I want to know is, why would you put gravy on a hamburger?
What I want to know is, why would you put gravy on a hamburger?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In the South, gravy is one of the 5 food groups.
In the South, gravy is one of the 5 food groups.
jeet
+1 -0
Or a cheeseburger in a can?
Or a cheeseburger in a can?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I don't think I trust that label.
I don't think I trust that label.
achilleselbow
+8 -1
I can has cheezburger?
I can has cheezburger?
hoboninja
+2 -0
Reluctant Chubby.
Reluctant Chubby.
steev_dayv
+1 -0
These words are good on my screen. Thank you for typing them.
These words are good on my screen. Thank you for typing them.
jaldor
+1 -0
A deafening roar shakes the very earth as the entire internet groans in unison.
A deafening roar shakes the very earth as the entire internet groans in unison.
sje46
+0 -0
No one has ever answered that poor lolcat.
No one has ever answered that poor lolcat.
redphillip
+0 -0
And no one ever, ever will. Poor, sad kitty, all alone in dark mewling for cheeseburger.
And no one ever, ever will. Poor, sad kitty, all alone in dark mewling for cheeseburger.
zapatos
+0 -0
what do you pine for Nice Phil? what do you want.
what do you pine for Nice Phil? what do you want.
belgand
+0 -0
Sounds like specialty porno. Not so much softboy as soft boy parts. Some people, perhaps, find erection threatening, especially when dealing with the larger models. We have non-threatening solution.
Sounds like specialty porno. Not so much softboy as soft boy parts. Some people, perhaps, find erection threatening, especially when dealing with the larger models. We have non-threatening solution.
redphillip
+0 -0
Zapatos, hijo lindo, what I pine for and want is without question big. It can be soft, but must have the option of a change of state. And if 'Nutter Butter' is what I hope it is in this context, why I just eat that stuff up.
Zapatos, hijo lindo, what I pine for and want is without question big. It can be soft, but must have the option of a change of state. And if 'Nutter Butter' is what I hope it is in this context, why I just eat that stuff up.
zapatos
+0 -0
Oh it changes, rapidly.
I hope you would know me better, of course it is what you think.
Oh it changes, rapidly.
I hope you would know me better, of course it is what you think.
belgand
+0 -0
He can has cheezburger, but he may not. Really it's an issue of grammar more than anything.
He can has cheezburger, but he may not. Really it's an issue of grammar more than anything.
redphillip
+13 -0
When you are Trekkinggegangen you have to think of your energy requirements, and what more convenient fuer Kindern und Erwachsene ebenso than everyone's beliebten Cheeseburger in the handy fully-recyclable can? I can see the happy Familie, everyone in their hiking boots and Lederhosen, and die Mutti calls out brightly, "Kinder! Mahlzeit!" Wir haben uns heute Cheeseburgers! Hopla!" So stirring. So wholesome.
When you are Trekkinggegangen you have to think of your energy requirements, and what more convenient fuer Kindern und Erwachsene ebenso than everyone's beliebten Cheeseburger in the handy fully-recyclable can? I can see the happy Familie, everyone in their hiking boots and Lederhosen, and die Mutti calls out brightly, "Kinder! Mahlzeit!" Wir haben uns heute Cheeseburgers! Hopla!" So stirring. So wholesome.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
How happy ist diese Familie, as they wandern in the Wald! They essen mit joy, shoving Cheeseburger nach Cheeseburger into their Munds!
How happy ist diese Familie, as they wandern in the Wald! They essen mit joy, shoving Cheeseburger nach Cheeseburger into their Munds!
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Ich kann hat?
Ich kann hat?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Quatch. Du kannst nicht haben.
Quatch. Du kannst nicht haben.
sje46
+0 -0
It's funny how easy it is to translate German when I never actually studied it.
It's funny how easy it is to translate German when I never actually studied it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I have picked up a substantial amount simply from listening to Rammstein.
I have picked up a substantial amount simply from listening to Rammstein.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I actually committed myself and learned the RIGHT way.
Amateurs.
I actually committed myself and learned the RIGHT way.
Amateurs.
sje46
+0 -0
ICH BIN EIN SCHUBELBURGBREINER!
KOMMT EICH BEICH SYBEL GRUBER STEIN FEIN KOOMTBREINERBLITZER
KEINER
BELITZER!
JUDEN JUDEN HEIL HITLER LIBENSRAUBEN LUFTWAFFE!
(This is what I hear when people speak German)
ICH BIN EIN SCHUBELBURGBREINER!
KOMMT EICH BEICH SYBEL GRUBER STEIN FEIN KOOMTBREINERBLITZER
KEINER
BELITZER!
JUDEN JUDEN HEIL HITLER LIBENSRAUBEN LUFTWAFFE!
(This is what I hear when people speak German)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This is what I hear.
HI SO YEAH A LONG TIME AGO PEOPLE FORM MY COUNTRY DID SOME BAD THINGS BUT HEY IT'S NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER COUNTRY DID THE SAME THING RIGHT SO I GUESS EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO SHIT ON THIS COUNTRY WHICH IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NEAT BEYOND THE 12 YEARS WHERE WE MADE SOME BAD DECISIONS
My roommate calls me a Nazi because I take German, so yeah.
This is what I hear.
HI SO YEAH A LONG TIME AGO PEOPLE FORM MY COUNTRY DID SOME BAD THINGS BUT HEY IT'S NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER COUNTRY DID THE SAME THING RIGHT SO I GUESS EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO SHIT ON THIS COUNTRY WHICH IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NEAT BEYOND THE 12 YEARS WHERE WE MADE SOME BAD DECISIONS
My roommate calls me a Nazi because I take German, so yeah.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And of course I meant "from." Now if you'll excuse me, I have some "Tom Goes To The Mayor" to watch.
And of course I meant "from." Now if you'll excuse me, I have some "Tom Goes To The Mayor" to watch.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I just found out my girlfriend loves Tom goes to the mayor.
I need to marry her.
I just found out my girlfriend loves Tom goes to the mayor.
I need to marry her.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, I don't think that Germans are bad or anything, it's just that most of my vocab of the language I learned from watching the History Channel.
No offense intended.
Oh, I don't think that Germans are bad or anything, it's just that most of my vocab of the language I learned from watching the History Channel.
No offense intended.
sje46
+0 -0
I can see how it seems offensive. I'm sorry.
I can see how it seems offensive. I'm sorry.
rowboat
+0 -0
It is no longer OK to hate them for what they did. That was your grandpa's place. However, it will be OK for our generation to make fun of them for what they did for the rest of our lives and theirs. That's our place.
It's understood. They're OK with it.
It is no longer OK to hate them for what they did. That was your grandpa's place. However, it will be OK for our generation to make fun of them for what they did for the rest of our lives and theirs. That's our place.
It's understood. They're OK with it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It is also still acceptable to make fun of them for being effeminate, listening to repetitive techno music, and enjoying strange fecal porn.
It is also still acceptable to make fun of them for being effeminate, listening to repetitive techno music, and enjoying strange fecal porn.
belgand
+0 -0
I never got so much effeminate as cold and somewhat haughty, incredibly mod, and with far too much tolerance for experimental art.
The techno and scat though certainly hold.
I never got so much effeminate as cold and somewhat haughty, incredibly mod, and with far too much tolerance for experimental art.
The techno and scat though certainly hold.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Hey, man...I really like Markus Guentner.
God forbid someone listen to repetitive German techno and not, say, repetitive German metal.
Hey, man...I really like Markus Guentner.
God forbid someone listen to repetitive German techno and not, say, repetitive German metal.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I was kind of kidding.
I was kind of kidding.
belgand
+0 -0
I have been told that one of the best things you can say to a German is that you do not regard him or his countrymen as a threat or harbor any ill will against them.
They really do seem to be very devoted to trying to show how they are totally different now. They were going through some bad times then, they'd lost their job and kinda got into a bad place, but that is so totally over now. If anything I think they're overcompensating far too much.
I have been told that one of the best things you can say to a German is that you do not regard him or his countrymen as a threat or harbor any ill will against them.
They really do seem to be very devoted to trying to show how they are totally different now. They were going through some bad times then, they'd lost their job and kinda got into a bad place, but that is so totally over now. If anything I think they're overcompensating far too much.
zapatos
+0 -0
i wonder if this will happen in america.
i wonder if this will happen in america.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The main reason Scientology is considered a cult in Germany is because they have learned to head those things off at the pass.
If this becomes a thread about Scientology, I am forever leaving Assetbar. DISCRETION, PEOPLE.
The main reason Scientology is considered a cult in Germany is because they have learned to head those things off at the pass.
If this becomes a thread about Scientology, I am forever leaving Assetbar. DISCRETION, PEOPLE.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LOL SCIENTOLOGY? L RON HUBBARD CAN SUQ MAH DIQ.
LOL SCIENTOLOGY? L RON HUBBARD CAN SUQ MAH DIQ.
jeet
+0 -0
I get die glieche dinge .
Being blonde doesn't help, either.
I get die glieche dinge .
Being blonde doesn't help, either.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
This is what I hear from your posts today:
I AM CALLING TO OFFER YOU THE NO-HASSLE CAPITAL ONE CREDIT CARD. GUARANTEED NO PENALTY FOR BALANCE TRANSFERS UNDER $45.
I suspect it drives those drinkers who read Assetbar to begin their alcoholic consumption much earlier in the day than they had planned.
Ironic, isn't it, little sje?
This is what I hear from your posts today:
I AM CALLING TO OFFER YOU THE NO-HASSLE CAPITAL ONE CREDIT CARD. GUARANTEED NO PENALTY FOR BALANCE TRANSFERS UNDER $45.
I suspect it drives those drinkers who read Assetbar to begin their alcoholic consumption much earlier in the day than they had planned.
Ironic, isn't it, little sje?
sje46
+0 -0
I have CapitalOne!
Free money!
I have CapitalOne!
Free money!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's actually not that surprising, considering that English is a Germanic language.
It's actually not that surprising, considering that English is a Germanic language.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But we've adopted so much from the Romance (specifically Old French) that English and German are as similar as English and Spanish.
But we've adopted so much from the Romance (specifically Old French) that English and German are as similar as English and Spanish.
sje46
+0 -0
That makes Spanish easy as well.
Spanish is one easy language. Still not any good at it though.
That makes Spanish easy as well.
Spanish is one easy language. Still not any good at it though.
stereo
+0 -0
Knowing English and French basically makes me able to understand simple phrases half a dozen other languages.
Knowing English and French basically makes me able to understand simple phrases half a dozen other languages.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Spanish and a bit of childlike wonder has helped me in that regard too. Plus German.
Spanish and a bit of childlike wonder has helped me in that regard too. Plus German.
zapatos
+0 -0
So why is that people who know English, cannot comprehend what issues forth from my mouth?
So why is that people who know English, cannot comprehend what issues forth from my mouth?
tekende
+0 -0
Maybe you need to enunciate?
Maybe you need to enunciate?
zapatos
+0 -0
Es posible que estoy eblaste una idioma sans Engles.
Es posible que estoy eblaste una idioma sans Engles.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is that several languages in one sentence?
Is that several languages in one sentence?
tekende
+0 -0
Looks that way.
Looks that way.
zapatos
+0 -0
es solo uno, uno idioma de la boca de un huerjo que no puede que habla no escribir por nada.
es solo uno, uno idioma de la boca de un huerjo que no puede que habla no escribir por nada.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't know huerjo.
I don't know huerjo.
sje46
+0 -0
No, it's just okay Spanish.
No, it's just okay Spanish.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
"Sans" is French.
"Sans" is French.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And Latin.
And Latin.
sje46
+0 -0
It's bad Spanish then. I think the intent for the whole thing is Spanish. I could be wrong, though.
What is eblaste? And in Spanish, it's Ingles, or something.
It's bad Spanish then. I think the intent for the whole thing is Spanish. I could be wrong, though.
What is eblaste? And in Spanish, it's Ingles, or something.
zapatos
+0 -0
it is terrible spanish.
eblaste, i am currently speaking.
it is terrible spanish.
eblaste, i am currently speaking.
sje46
+0 -0
Hablaste?
Hablaste?
sje46
+0 -0
Hablo.
It is hablo.
Hablo.
It is hablo.
zapatos
+0 -0
IT IS TERRIBLE SPANISH
IT IS TERRIBLE SPANISH
sje46
+0 -0
I'm sorry!
*cries*
I'm sorry!
*cries*
achilleselbow
+0 -0
HABLO BLOO BLOO
HABLO BLOO BLOO
cromar
+0 -0
Don't forget Scandinavian!
Don't forget Scandinavian!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I like Olde English so very, very much. The sound, the look. It is so fucking Olde Schoole.
I like Olde English so very, very much. The sound, the look. It is so fucking Olde Schoole.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Olde English is more like "Alt Inglisch"; it's much more German than English. If you're thinking of, say, Shakespearean English, then that's Early Modern English. Actual Old English is unreadable to us modern folk.
Olde English is more like "Alt Inglisch"; it's much more German than English. If you're thinking of, say, Shakespearean English, then that's Early Modern English. Actual Old English is unreadable to us modern folk.
sje46
+0 -0
This is true. Old English is impossible. Middle English in extremely difficult as well.
This is true. Old English is impossible. Middle English in extremely difficult as well.
sje46
+0 -0
Old:
Quote:
Middle:
Quote:
Extra points if you can identify where these examples are from.
Old:
Quote:
Cnut cyning gret his arcebiscopas and his leod-biscopas and Þurcyl eorl and ealle his eorlas and ealne his þeodscype, twelfhynde and twyhynde, gehadode and læwede, on Englalande freondlice
Middle:
Quote:
Whan that Aprill with his shoures sote;
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour.
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth,
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne.
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour.
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth,
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne.
Extra points if you can identify where these examples are from.
sje46
+0 -0
Don't use Google, cheaters.
Don't use Google, cheaters.
sje46
+0 -0
Or Yahoo etc. DONT USE THE INTERNET AT ALL>
Or Yahoo etc. DONT USE THE INTERNET AT ALL>
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WELL THEN HOW WILL I SEE IT HUH?!
WELL THEN HOW WILL I SEE IT HUH?!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm going to assume Beowulf and/or something by Chaucer because that's the "look how crazy Old/ Middle English is" go-to.
I'm going to assume Beowulf and/or something by Chaucer because that's the "look how crazy Old/ Middle English is" go-to.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes, yes, and precisely.
Yes, yes, and precisely.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure the Middle example is from Canterbury Tales. Partially because that's the most common example everyone uses for middle English, but also because I seem to remember that this is from the very beginning, and he's about to say that this is the time when people go on their pilgrimage.
The most common example people use for Old English is Beowulf, but that's not where this one is from, since it talks about a king and some archbishops and England... and the use of alliterative verse makes me think it's from Gawain and the Green Knight.
I'm pretty sure the Middle example is from Canterbury Tales. Partially because that's the most common example everyone uses for middle English, but also because I seem to remember that this is from the very beginning, and he's about to say that this is the time when people go on their pilgrimage.
The most common example people use for Old English is Beowulf, but that's not where this one is from, since it talks about a king and some archbishops and England... and the use of alliterative verse makes me think it's from Gawain and the Green Knight.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Argh what am I thinking, Gawain is Middle English, okay I give up
Argh what am I thinking, Gawain is Middle English, okay I give up
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Okay I just looked it up. 1) Who the hell would ever have any reason to have read that, and 2) you just took one of the examples from the Wikipedia page.
Okay I just looked it up. 1) Who the hell would ever have any reason to have read that, and 2) you just took one of the examples from the Wikipedia page.
sje46
+0 -0
I remember Gawain and the Green Knight. For some reason I was the only person in the entire class (including the teacher) who noticed that every single line has alliteration.
I did just use examples from the Wikipedia page. And I did basically use the basic go-to examples (Beowulf and Canterbury Tales). Beowulf is the only Old English piece of literature people can name, and I always, always see the beginning of Canterbury Tales used for the example of Middle English.
If anyone from my senior english class was not able to get these examples instantly, then I would classify them as being an unintelligent person.
I remember Gawain and the Green Knight. For some reason I was the only person in the entire class (including the teacher) who noticed that every single line has alliteration.
I did just use examples from the Wikipedia page. And I did basically use the basic go-to examples (Beowulf and Canterbury Tales). Beowulf is the only Old English piece of literature people can name, and I always, always see the beginning of Canterbury Tales used for the example of Middle English.
If anyone from my senior english class was not able to get these examples instantly, then I would classify them as being an unintelligent person.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
gawain n da gren night liek n mony python loL?
gawain n da gren night liek n mony python loL?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Aw man I have to read Beowulf and some Canterbury shit for this English course that is 100% required for my English major and I've been dreading it since I started college and now I'm going to take the course next semester. Fucking.
Aw man I have to read Beowulf and some Canterbury shit for this English course that is 100% required for my English major and I've been dreading it since I started college and now I'm going to take the course next semester. Fucking.
sje46
+0 -0
Beowulf isn't too bad. I think it's fun. Well, as long as it's translated. Same with Canterbury. Canterbury was more boring though.
I'd be more worried about modernist literature.
Beowulf isn't too bad. I think it's fun. Well, as long as it's translated. Same with Canterbury. Canterbury was more boring though.
I'd be more worried about modernist literature.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh man I love Modernism. Eliot, Joyce, Yeats, Pound, all those guys. The old stuff scares me. I wonder why I never read Beowulf in high school; as far as I can tell, most people do.
Oh man I love Modernism. Eliot, Joyce, Yeats, Pound, all those guys. The old stuff scares me. I wonder why I never read Beowulf in high school; as far as I can tell, most people do.
sje46
+0 -0
I like Modernism too (or what I've read). I think what scares me the most, actually, is Shakebarye.
I like Modernism too (or what I've read). I think what scares me the most, actually, is Shakebarye.
belgand
+0 -0
I didn't read Beowulf either. I did, however, read the Aeneid, but in Latin so that doesn't really count. Canterbury Tales had a few segments involved in AP English II (Senior Year).
I also read The Divine Comedy in 9th grade, but by choice and there was definitely an element of wanting to show off involved. It was certainly nice that when I was required to read a bit of it for my Medieval and Renaissance Humanities course in college I didn't have to really worry about it. Because nothing is more important than knowing which Medieval popes and Florentine nobles Dante had a beef with.
I didn't read Beowulf either. I did, however, read the Aeneid, but in Latin so that doesn't really count. Canterbury Tales had a few segments involved in AP English II (Senior Year).
I also read The Divine Comedy in 9th grade, but by choice and there was definitely an element of wanting to show off involved. It was certainly nice that when I was required to read a bit of it for my Medieval and Renaissance Humanities course in college I didn't have to really worry about it. Because nothing is more important than knowing which Medieval popes and Florentine nobles Dante had a beef with.
sje46
+0 -0
Dante vir molestus est.
Dante vir molestus est.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Am I missing something here? The example you posted wasn't from Beowulf, but from the Charter of Cnut , not to be confused with the baby polar bear.
Am I missing something here? The example you posted wasn't from Beowulf, but from the Charter of Cnut , not to be confused with the baby polar bear.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, man. You are right. My baryd.
Oh, man. You are right. My baryd.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Canterbury Tales, boring? Did you read the Miller's tale? That shit is like, Monty Python 600 years before its time.
Canterbury Tales, boring? Did you read the Miller's tale? That shit is like, Monty Python 600 years before its time.
aperson
+0 -0
Haven't read it. How does this BBC adaptation sound?:
The Miller's Tale, adapted by Peter Bowker
John (Dennis Waterman) runs a pub in suburban Kent. He hosts a regular Karaoke night, where his much younger wife Alison (Billie Piper) is queen bee. One night a smooth talking stranger, Nick (James Nesbitt), arrives claiming to be a talent scout and declaring that Alison has what it takes to be a star. Alison is drawn to him by the promise of fame, but his motives aren't quite what they seem.
Haven't read it. How does this BBC adaptation sound?:
The Miller's Tale, adapted by Peter Bowker
John (Dennis Waterman) runs a pub in suburban Kent. He hosts a regular Karaoke night, where his much younger wife Alison (Billie Piper) is queen bee. One night a smooth talking stranger, Nick (James Nesbitt), arrives claiming to be a talent scout and declaring that Alison has what it takes to be a star. Alison is drawn to him by the promise of fame, but his motives aren't quite what they seem.
belgand
+0 -0
Billie Piper is a screaming clear area in a wig. She is entirely horrible. Her chav nastiness almost totally ruined Doctor Who.
Billie Piper is a screaming clear area in a wig. She is entirely horrible. Her chav nastiness almost totally ruined Doctor Who.
aperson
+0 -0
Luckily, New Dr Who is terrible for a whole other bunch of reasons in addition to B Piper.
Luckily, New Dr Who is terrible for a whole other bunch of reasons in addition to B Piper.
belgand
+0 -0
David Tennant, however, is the first doctor who is most definitely "fuckable".
David Tennant, however, is the first doctor who is most definitely "fuckable".
redphillip
+0 -0
A bit scrawny don't you think? Not that I have any aversion to scrawny guys, or recall any of Mr Tennant's predecessors who are, presumably, less tasty.
A bit scrawny don't you think? Not that I have any aversion to scrawny guys, or recall any of Mr Tennant's predecessors who are, presumably, less tasty.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
D-d-donna?
D-d-donna?
sje46
+0 -0
I read a summary on Wickedpedia. It does look funny. I guess I shouldn't have said it was boring. I remember reading the prologue and a tale involving killing Death, or something. Maybe I second one.
I read a summary on Wickedpedia. It does look funny. I guess I shouldn't have said it was boring. I remember reading the prologue and a tale involving killing Death, or something. Maybe I second one.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh man, The Parson's Tale (I think) was the one about the youths looking to kill death. That was one of my favourites.
Oh man, The Parson's Tale (I think) was the one about the youths looking to kill death. That was one of my favourites.
sje46
+0 -0
I wasn't bad actually. Al I said was that it was more boring than Beowulf. Perhaps I should have said that Beowulf is more exciting than Canterbury Tales.
Sorry.
I wasn't bad actually. Al I said was that it was more boring than Beowulf. Perhaps I should have said that Beowulf is more exciting than Canterbury Tales.
Sorry.
belgand
+0 -0
It has tales of a variety of types. It's really more of an anthology than anything so you can't necessarily claim that it's entirely boring. Some stories are certainly boring, but there are also ones filled with bawdy humour.
It has tales of a variety of types. It's really more of an anthology than anything so you can't necessarily claim that it's entirely boring. Some stories are certainly boring, but there are also ones filled with bawdy humour.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Okay, Mildwe Einglisch. Chaucner. Sue me.
Okay, Mildwe Einglisch. Chaucner. Sue me.
achilleselbow
+4 -0
No way man, that shit's all SCYNG SWORG WYRD WOERG.
No way man, that shit's all SCYNG SWORG WYRD WOERG.
kamet
+0 -0
No, realli!
No, realli!
snidedk
+0 -0
M00se bytes kan be pretti nasti...
M00se bytes kan be pretti nasti...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh God stop that, stop that from being something real.
Oh God stop that, stop that from being something real.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It is real though.
It is real though.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Can God stop something that's real from being real?
Can God stop something that's real from being real?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Can God create a cheeseburger so gross even he can't eat it?
Can God create a cheeseburger so gross even he can't eat it?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Can omniscient God who knows the future find,
The omnipotence to change his future mind and not create something as horrible as a canned cheeseburger?
Can omniscient God who knows the future find,
The omnipotence to change his future mind and not create something as horrible as a canned cheeseburger?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Let's hope.
Let's hope.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I just watched a movie where that was basically the plot.
The Air I Breathe
You have been fore warned.
I just watched a movie where that was basically the plot.
The Air I Breathe
You have been fore warned.
sje46
+0 -0
I NOW NO LONGER BELIEVE IN GOD.
I NOW NO LONGER BELIEVE IN GOD.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
TOO LATE.
TOO LATE.
zapatos
+0 -0
God can create the most terrible, gross burger that could ever be created... and still eat it.
God can create the most terrible, gross burger that could ever be created... and still eat it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
God's got sand.
God's got sand.
zapatos
+0 -0
God could eat sand!
God could eat sand!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakes
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakes
hamscout
+0 -0
When there was no meat to be found, we ate fowl.
When there was no fowl to be found, we ate crawdad.
When there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
You...you ate sand?
We ate sand.
When there was no meat to be found, we ate fowl.
When there was no fowl to be found, we ate crawdad.
When there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
You...you ate sand?
We ate sand.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That is how diamonds are made, Philippe.
That is how diamonds are made, Philippe.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Still not clear on the whole God thing, zapatos?
God can create the most terrible, gross burger that could ever be created... and make YOU eat it!
Still not clear on the whole God thing, zapatos?
God can create the most terrible, gross burger that could ever be created... and make YOU eat it!
zapatos
+0 -0
and you would fucking LOVE it so much, you'd ask for another.
and you would fucking LOVE it so much, you'd ask for another.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well, yes. So would you. It would be the best tasting burger ever created.
A-bloi, a-bloi, a-bloi!
Well, yes. So would you. It would be the best tasting burger ever created.
A-bloi, a-bloi, a-bloi!
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Hamburger Gravy = Salisbury Steak. Got really popular during WW2.
Sort of like in the early 2000s when there were "freedom fries", hamburger became Salisbury steak, frankfurters turned into hot dogs, and sauerkraut became "liberty cabbage". This is one of the 4 things I learned in high school, and I'm not even sure if it's true.
Hamburger Gravy = Salisbury Steak. Got really popular during WW2.
Sort of like in the early 2000s when there were "freedom fries", hamburger became Salisbury steak, frankfurters turned into hot dogs, and sauerkraut became "liberty cabbage". This is one of the 4 things I learned in high school, and I'm not even sure if it's true.
thegoblins
+0 -0
About 90% of what I learned in high school history was absolutely false.
About 90% of what I learned in high school history was absolutely false.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
You learn that part in college.
You learn that part in college.
wozzeck
+3 -0
What until you find out how much of what you learn in college is lies.
What until you find out how much of what you learn in college is lies.
sje46
+0 -0
are* lies
are* lies
sje46
+1 -0
Unless elementary school lied to me.
Unless elementary school lied to me.
biff
+0 -0
It's not so much that elementary school lied to you. It's that they treated you like you were in elementary school, and told you something that was correct generally but incorrect specifically.
It's not so much that elementary school lied to you. It's that they treated you like you were in elementary school, and told you something that was correct generally but incorrect specifically.
thegoblins
+0 -0
"How much," the subject of the sentence, refers to a specific quantity. Thus, "is."
"How much," the subject of the sentence, refers to a specific quantity. Thus, "is."
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A collective noun can be singular.
A collective noun can be singular.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Yet I got a pass on writing "what" when it was obviously meant to be "wait".
Yet I got a pass on writing "what" when it was obviously meant to be "wait".
sje46
+0 -0
Is this correct:
You may think the band are not quite right
Is this correct:
You may think the band are not quite right
falseprophet
+0 -0
No, it should be "You may think the bands are not quite right" or "You may think the band is not quite right." Keep trying.
No, it should be "You may think the bands are not quite right" or "You may think the band is not quite right." Keep trying.
sje46
+0 -0
Don't tell me to keep trying. Tell George Harrison.
I'm pretty sure that it all depends.
"The team put on their uniforms" is correct.
"The team won its first game" is also correct.
If you are talking about the team as a collection of individuals, it is plural in meaning. If it is viewed as one entity, it is singular.
This is what high school taught me.
Don't tell me to keep trying. Tell George Harrison.
I'm pretty sure that it all depends.
"The team put on their uniforms" is correct.
"The team won its first game" is also correct.
If you are talking about the team as a collection of individuals, it is plural in meaning. If it is viewed as one entity, it is singular.
This is what high school taught me.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Yes, it does depend, but that sentence you was picking on above were correct. Also, college has taught me far more interesting things than grammar.
Yes, it does depend, but that sentence you was picking on above were correct. Also, college has taught me far more interesting things than grammar.
sje46
+0 -0
I wasn't picking on it.
I learned few things of interest in college so far. Maybe I should get out of the intro courses.
I wasn't picking on it.
I learned few things of interest in college so far. Maybe I should get out of the intro courses.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Or change fields.
Or change fields.
sje46
+0 -0
I like psychology.
I like psychology.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The difference in those two sentences is because of the object, not the subject. You can't say "the team put on its uniform" because a team has more than one uniform, and saying "the team put on its uniforms" sounds wrong because once you acknowledge that there are multiple uniforms it's weird to think of them being put onto one entity. So by necessity, team becomes plural in that case. And if you really wanted to be a dick about it, I think you could possibly argue that this usage is still incorrect and you would have to say "team members".
The difference in those two sentences is because of the object, not the subject. You can't say "the team put on its uniform" because a team has more than one uniform, and saying "the team put on its uniforms" sounds wrong because once you acknowledge that there are multiple uniforms it's weird to think of them being put onto one entity. So by necessity, team becomes plural in that case. And if you really wanted to be a dick about it, I think you could possibly argue that this usage is still incorrect and you would have to say "team members".
sje46
+0 -0
The difference, I discovered, is a cultural one.
Excuse the Wikipedia
Quote:
The difference, I discovered, is a cultural one.
Excuse the Wikipedia
Quote:
Formal and notional agreement
In BrE, collective nouns can take either singular (formal agreement) or plural (notional agreement) verb forms, according to whether the emphasis is, respectively, on the body as a whole or on the individual members; compare a committee was appointed... with the committee were unable to agree....[5][6] Compare also the following lines of Elvis Costello's song "Oliver's Army": Oliver's Army are on their way / Oliver's Army is here to stay. Some of these nouns, for example staff,[7] actually combine with plural verbs most of the time.
In AmE, collective nouns are usually singular in construction: the committee was unable to agree... AmE however may use plural pronouns in agreement with collective nouns: the team takes their seats, rather than the team takes its seats. The rule of thumb is that a group acting as a unit is considered singular and a group of "individuals acting separately" is considered plural.[8] However, such a sentence would most likely be recast as the team members take their seats. Despite exceptions such as usage in the New York Times, the names of sports teams are usually treated as plurals even if the form of the name is singular.[9]
The difference occurs for all nouns of multitude, both general terms such as team and company and proper nouns (for example, where a place name is used to refer to a sports team). For instance,
BrE: The Clash are a well-known band; AmE: The Clash is a well-known band.
BrE: New York are the champions; AmE: New York is the champion.
Proper nouns that are plural in form take a plural verb in both AmE and BrE; for example, The Beatles are a well-known band; The Giants are the champions.
In BrE, collective nouns can take either singular (formal agreement) or plural (notional agreement) verb forms, according to whether the emphasis is, respectively, on the body as a whole or on the individual members; compare a committee was appointed... with the committee were unable to agree....[5][6] Compare also the following lines of Elvis Costello's song "Oliver's Army": Oliver's Army are on their way / Oliver's Army is here to stay. Some of these nouns, for example staff,[7] actually combine with plural verbs most of the time.
In AmE, collective nouns are usually singular in construction: the committee was unable to agree... AmE however may use plural pronouns in agreement with collective nouns: the team takes their seats, rather than the team takes its seats. The rule of thumb is that a group acting as a unit is considered singular and a group of "individuals acting separately" is considered plural.[8] However, such a sentence would most likely be recast as the team members take their seats. Despite exceptions such as usage in the New York Times, the names of sports teams are usually treated as plurals even if the form of the name is singular.[9]
The difference occurs for all nouns of multitude, both general terms such as team and company and proper nouns (for example, where a place name is used to refer to a sports team). For instance,
BrE: The Clash are a well-known band; AmE: The Clash is a well-known band.
BrE: New York are the champions; AmE: New York is the champion.
Proper nouns that are plural in form take a plural verb in both AmE and BrE; for example, The Beatles are a well-known band; The Giants are the champions.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks, I didn't know about this wonderful thing called "Wikipedia."
Thanks, I didn't know about this wonderful thing called "Wikipedia."
sje46
+0 -0
It's actually "Wickedpedia", which is the New England dedicated Wiki.
It's actually "Wickedpedia", which is the New England dedicated Wiki.
belgand
+0 -0
No "Wikipissah"?
No "Wikipissah"?
sje46
+0 -0
Wickedpissiah?
Wickedpissiah?
belgand
+0 -0
Depends on your major. Hard science is rarely made up of lies, but it's also predicated on the understand that "this is basically what we know now, it might change".
The biggest lie is that if you work hard you will succeed. But I think everyone knows that now.
Depends on your major. Hard science is rarely made up of lies, but it's also predicated on the understand that "this is basically what we know now, it might change".
The biggest lie is that if you work hard you will succeed. But I think everyone knows that now.
howl
+0 -0
R-really?
:(
R-really?
:(
stereo
+0 -0
Sucking up is by far the more important skill. Oops, I mean "being a team player".
Sucking up is by far the more important skill. Oops, I mean "being a team player".
belgand
+0 -0
Don't you mean "making your boss look good to his superiors and doing whatever someone wants you to do because otherwise you're not a 'team player'".
Don't you mean "making your boss look good to his superiors and doing whatever someone wants you to do because otherwise you're not a 'team player'".
tekende
+0 -0
It is true.
It is true.
tekende
+0 -0
WHY FIND OUT
WHY FIND OUT
tucky
+3 -0
Hot Government Bean Dish is Sex Funeral's side project.
Hot Government Bean Dish is Sex Funeral's side project.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I have definitely seen such suspicious canned food in a Chinese grocery. I have also seen "finest quality vegetarian pork product."
I have definitely seen such suspicious canned food in a Chinese grocery. I have also seen "finest quality vegetarian pork product."
baryonyx
+0 -0
The label can not stress this enough: this item has a Net of 340 grams.
Right there, where you can see it. Take note.
The label can not stress this enough: this item has a Net of 340 grams.
Right there, where you can see it. Take note.
stereo
+0 -0
I seriously hope Nice Pete gets his book printed that way.
I seriously hope Nice Pete gets his book printed that way.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Nice Pete is conscientious about footnotes. He cares deeply about his readers.
Nice Pete is conscientious about footnotes. He cares deeply about his readers.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
He does to footnotes what Joseph Campbell and Mark Z. Danielewski do to footnotes.
He does to footnotes what Joseph Campbell and Mark Z. Danielewski do to footnotes.
wozzeck
+0 -0
He does to a woman's name what Springheel Jack did to a woman's body.
He does to a woman's name what Springheel Jack did to a woman's body.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
do you mean Jack the Ripper? he might be more appropriate considering the method in which he removed the organs from the abdominal cavity and placed them over the victim's shoulder, displacing them sort of like the way Nice Pete is displacing text.
do you mean Jack the Ripper? he might be more appropriate considering the method in which he removed the organs from the abdominal cavity and placed them over the victim's shoulder, displacing them sort of like the way Nice Pete is displacing text.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He belches blue flames onto it and scratches it up with his claws, then flees?
He belches blue flames onto it and scratches it up with his claws, then flees?
wozzeck
+0 -0
I... I was always taught "Springheel Jack" was one of Jack the Ripper's numerous nicknames. I've ruined my own comment.
I... I was always taught "Springheel Jack" was one of Jack the Ripper's numerous nicknames. I've ruined my own comment.
biff
+0 -0
Way totally different Jack.
Completely.
In every way.
Way totally different Jack.
Completely.
In every way.
eatmorekix
+5 -0
add footnotes to your mental self-narration, Nice Pete-style!
Ex. Wow! I just peeled all the skin off [this tangerine*] in one piece!
__________________________________
*Kidnapped child
add footnotes to your mental self-narration, Nice Pete-style!
Ex. Wow! I just peeled all the skin off [this tangerine*] in one piece!
__________________________________
*Kidnapped child
tekende
+0 -0
Other...other way around, dude
Other...other way around, dude
thegoblins
+0 -0
Other way round? You sicko!
Other way round? You sicko!
stereo
+2 -0
Actually he's right, if you start at the feet your [child]* will taste much more delicious
* eyes lightly toasted with a steel poker and then flayed until it is tender, so it may not actually look like a child
Actually he's right, if you start at the feet your [child]* will taste much more delicious
* eyes lightly toasted with a steel poker and then flayed until it is tender, so it may not actually look like a child
daedala_x
+0 -0
the same people who chubby this comment are the people who search for snuff child pornography online. they search and they search, but they do not find it.
the same people who chubby this comment are the people who search for snuff child pornography online. they search and they search, but they do not find it.
sje46
+2 -0
They should try using quotes.
They should try using quotes.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Rule 34 anyone?
Rule 34 anyone?
eatmorekix
+0 -0
you're assuming that my real-life achievement was with the tangerine, though.
you're assuming that my real-life achievement was with the tangerine, though.
tekende
+0 -0
Touche.
Touche.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Wow! I just peeled all the skin off [this succulent fruit of foreign climes and carefree days*] in one piece!
__________________________________
*Kidnapped child
Wow! I just peeled all the skin off [this succulent fruit of foreign climes and carefree days*] in one piece!
__________________________________
*Kidnapped child
caddon
+1 -0
Ray knows it's rad to have alcoholism. And what's more, he now has the funds to justify it. Should he ever pass blood in his Morning Mix, he's a phonecall away from a brand new Executive Liver, for the Man of Today who simply cannot afford to be afraid of the Fucking Police.
Ray knows it's rad to have alcoholism. And what's more, he now has the funds to justify it. Should he ever pass blood in his Morning Mix, he's a phonecall away from a brand new Executive Liver, for the Man of Today who simply cannot afford to be afraid of the Fucking Police.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh man, now they are policing THAT too? Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh man, now they are policing THAT too? Jesus fucking Christ.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, they have a messiah for that now, as well? Crap on a fucking crust.
Oh, they have a messiah for that now, as well? Crap on a fucking crust.
farqussus
+1 -0
I am at the stage of the evening where I am not sure that it is so rad to have alcoholism
I am at the stage of the evening where I am not sure that it is so rad to have alcoholism
rowboat
+0 -0
You must be sober.
You must be sober.
decagon
+0 -0
I like how even after you make the substitutions, Nice Pete's book is still disturbing.
I like how even after you make the substitutions, Nice Pete's book is still disturbing.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Notorious, dogg.
Notorious, dogg.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The ladies go out with him but in the end they don't respect him.
The ladies go out with him but in the end they don't respect him.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Yet they are his forever .
Yet they are his forever .
pual08
+0 -0
OK guys, I'm pretty sure I have that toe thing, and Google turns up nothing. What gives?
OK guys, I'm pretty sure I have that toe thing, and Google turns up nothing. What gives?
aarongstock
+0 -0
Never mind that, let "Mary" go!
Never mind that, let "Mary" go!
autrepoupee
+1 -0
What gives? What gives?
Take a picture of it!
MAKE A VIDEO OF YOURSELF WALKING
AND SMOKING LANGUIDLY
STARING AT THE CAMERA
PLEASE
-aznboiyo231
What gives? What gives?
Take a picture of it!
MAKE A VIDEO OF YOURSELF WALKING
AND SMOKING LANGUIDLY
STARING AT THE CAMERA
PLEASE
-aznboiyo231
nickgranger
+0 -0
This is a good web-comic
This is a good web-comic
steev_dayv
+0 -0
This is a good web-comic.
This is a good web-comic.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This? It's a good web-comic.
This? It's a good web-comic.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
THIS.
IS.
A WEB COMIC!
THIS.
IS.
A WEB COMIC!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
A good webcomic, this is, padawan.
A good webcomic, this is, padawan.
actualtaunt
+2 -0
This webcomic is rather good,
And I read it more oft' than I should.
But My life would be gray
Without starting each day
by imbibing a strip of Achewood
This webcomic is rather good,
And I read it more oft' than I should.
But My life would be gray
Without starting each day
by imbibing a strip of Achewood
pogo
+0 -0
You life would be gay?
You life would be gay?
sje46
+0 -0
That too.
That too.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Nice Pete...does not write women well.
Nice Pete...does not write women well.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
But he is a Master...at writing them Off.
But he is a Master...at writing them Off.
daidai
+11 -0
Chuck nibbled his fingernails midway through the 4th period of the Knicks game. He jittered with nervousness over the [waiting for the beautiful iota of time as the last breath leaves the soon-to-be corpse]132. This [murder]133 was of extreme importance to Chuck and his Knicks. His team scored again. Could they actually win? Chuck pondered this when suddenly he imagined inexplicably the face of [a pizza cutter sharpened well enough to slice through bone]134. After this fleeting thought, Chuck looked up to the Jumbotron for the score.
Suddenly, the lighting in the stadium flashed off, then on again. On the Jumbotron was not the numbers Chuck expected. On it was the face of Leopold, the ex-husband of Mary. Leopold stared outward blankly, with no expression outside of his eyes. Then, slowly, he began to smile. The corners of Leopold's mouth drew closer and closer to his ears as he smiled. The crowd around Chuck was [the expression of the man who found the finger in the chili]135.
Just then, Leopold stepped to the left, and Mary was on the screen. She was tied down by leather and hooks and blindfolded. Leopold laughed off screen. Mary was on her knees with her hands tied to her front, like in prayer. Leopold returned to the screen holding an axe from a nearby fire station. He laughed again. Chuck cried. Leopold swung the axe like a golf club, a good and full windup most brilliantly executed. His weapon struck the woman just below the chin. Upon contact, the screen flashed back to the basketball game.
Chuck cried and hoped he had imagined it, but his fellow audience's screaming shredded that notion.
132 score
133 basketball match
134 "Mary"
135 scared
Yeah, Nice Pete could masterfully write off a woman.
Chuck nibbled his fingernails midway through the 4th period of the Knicks game. He jittered with nervousness over the [waiting for the beautiful iota of time as the last breath leaves the soon-to-be corpse]132. This [murder]133 was of extreme importance to Chuck and his Knicks. His team scored again. Could they actually win? Chuck pondered this when suddenly he imagined inexplicably the face of [a pizza cutter sharpened well enough to slice through bone]134. After this fleeting thought, Chuck looked up to the Jumbotron for the score.
Suddenly, the lighting in the stadium flashed off, then on again. On the Jumbotron was not the numbers Chuck expected. On it was the face of Leopold, the ex-husband of Mary. Leopold stared outward blankly, with no expression outside of his eyes. Then, slowly, he began to smile. The corners of Leopold's mouth drew closer and closer to his ears as he smiled. The crowd around Chuck was [the expression of the man who found the finger in the chili]135.
Just then, Leopold stepped to the left, and Mary was on the screen. She was tied down by leather and hooks and blindfolded. Leopold laughed off screen. Mary was on her knees with her hands tied to her front, like in prayer. Leopold returned to the screen holding an axe from a nearby fire station. He laughed again. Chuck cried. Leopold swung the axe like a golf club, a good and full windup most brilliantly executed. His weapon struck the woman just below the chin. Upon contact, the screen flashed back to the basketball game.
Chuck cried and hoped he had imagined it, but his fellow audience's screaming shredded that notion.
132 score
133 basketball match
134 "Mary"
135 scared
Yeah, Nice Pete could masterfully write off a woman.
andrew_
+7 -0
Are you guys still in to me screaming stuff?
Because I could scream some stuff at this right now if you guys wanted.
Are you guys still in to me screaming stuff?
Because I could scream some stuff at this right now if you guys wanted.
stereo
+0 -0
I wish I still had that icon for "real classy murder, the kind they show on the Teletron at a baseball game and everyone is all helpless to look away", cause it would be so appropriate .
I wish I still had that icon for "real classy murder, the kind they show on the Teletron at a baseball game and everyone is all helpless to look away", cause it would be so appropriate .
daidai
+5 -0
Yes, this image is what I based the story on.
I pretended that the story was the reason Nice Pete asked for Teodor to make him the icons.
I also made sure not to use the substitution writing technique during the murder, because Nice Pete needs no additional inspiration to write about murder.
Yes, this image is what I based the story on.
I pretended that the story was the reason Nice Pete asked for Teodor to make him the icons.
I also made sure not to use the substitution writing technique during the murder, because Nice Pete needs no additional inspiration to write about murder.
daidai
+0 -0
Credit to baryonyx for the image, by the way.
Credit to baryonyx for the image, by the way.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Bary bary bary bary bary
Bary bary bary bary bary
sje46
+0 -0
So I herd you liek baryk obamama?
So I herd you liek baryk obamama?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure his name is Baryk Onyxama, racist .
I'm pretty sure his name is Baryk Onyxama, racist .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Baryx HUSSEIN Onyxama
Baryx HUSSEIN Onyxama
sje46
+0 -0
I apolonyxe for my baryg racist mistake.
I apolonyxe for my baryg racist mistake.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Apolonyxbary acceptaryd.
Apolonyxbary acceptaryd.
zapatos
+0 -0
TERROR IS THE NEW FREEDOM
well, i suppose it isn't new at all.
TERROR IS THE NEW FREEDOM
well, i suppose it isn't new at all.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Are you doing Philosophy?
Are you doing Philosophy?
zapatos
+0 -0
I'm just talkin' shit on Bush.
I'm just talkin' shit on Bush.
tekende
+0 -0
And in such a timely manner, too!
And in such a timely manner, too!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Ooh, what's this I have here? What does this look like? Is it a tangent? It is.
Ooh, what's this I have here? What does this look like? Is it a tangent? It is.
zapatos
+0 -0
Kick 'em when they're down, I've been known to say.
Kick 'em when they're down, I've been known to say.
wozzeck
+0 -0
The general tonus of a girl who gyrates as a trade can be breath-taking indeed.
The general tonus of a girl who gyrates as a trade can be breath-taking indeed.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Check out the tonus on her !
Check out the tonus on her !
wozzeck
+0 -0
You have no idea how many times you have actually said that.
You have no idea how many times you have actually said that.
tekende
+0 -0
I think you messed up a pronoun in there.
I think you messed up a pronoun in there.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Did I? No, I did not!
Did I? No, I did not!
tekende
+0 -0
So you are telling steev_dayv that he does not know how many times he has said that?
So you are telling steev_dayv that he does not know how many times he has said that?
steev_dayv
+1 -0
I don't. How many times have I said it? Anybody? Beuler? Beuler? Beuler?
I don't. How many times have I said it? Anybody? Beuler? Beuler? Beuler?
gormster
+0 -0
Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what he said.
Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what he said.
smilebuddha
+2 -0
A callipygian maiden fair, describing with her gyrations the orbit of some far off moon (possibly Europa, possibly Callisto) as to the brass pole around which she completes her circumnavigations.
A callipygian maiden fair, describing with her gyrations the orbit of some far off moon (possibly Europa, possibly Callisto) as to the brass pole around which she completes her circumnavigations.
mattylite
+1 -0
Chubbied for "callipygian." There's this restaurant by my house where they must have a rule that every woman who works there have just a ridiculously nice ass, and so I call it the palace of callipygian delights, and then nobody knows what I'm talking about.
Go ahead and lame me, breast men. You can have your secret menus, and I can have my body part that is conveniently located on the side opposite from the eyes (get slapped less this way).
Chubbied for "callipygian." There's this restaurant by my house where they must have a rule that every woman who works there have just a ridiculously nice ass, and so I call it the palace of callipygian delights, and then nobody knows what I'm talking about.
Go ahead and lame me, breast men. You can have your secret menus, and I can have my body part that is conveniently located on the side opposite from the eyes (get slapped less this way).
smilebuddha
+0 -0
As much as I admire a set of bodacious ta-tas myself, this theory has much to commend it. As well as the simple fact that the well-defined rear is quite close to where the magic happens .
As much as I admire a set of bodacious ta-tas myself, this theory has much to commend it. As well as the simple fact that the well-defined rear is quite close to where the magic happens .
stereo
+0 -0
How do you ass men feel about a fine piece of male ass? Is it possible for it to be equally attractive to a female one? What if you didn't know it was a man?
How do you ass men feel about a fine piece of male ass? Is it possible for it to be equally attractive to a female one? What if you didn't know it was a man?
irondave
+0 -0
As a committed ass man, I find this question to be completely unhinged.
As a committed ass man, I find this question to be completely unhinged.
fathington
+1 -0
We don't talk about it.
We don't talk about it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What? What did you say, Dr. Kinsey? How would you feel about a fine piece of shaved Gorilla ass, stereo?
What? What did you say, Dr. Kinsey? How would you feel about a fine piece of shaved Gorilla ass, stereo?
kamet
+0 -0
But... but... he IS a gorilla.
But... but... he IS a gorilla.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I'm in the Brute Squad!
I'm in the Brute Squad!
belgand
+0 -0
You ARE the Brute Squad.
You ARE the Brute Squad.
stereo
+0 -0
My ass feels fine. The mule on the other hand has been giving me problems.
My ass feels fine. The mule on the other hand has been giving me problems.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Did...did you tell him he's not like the other kids, but he's still bi-special?
Did...did you tell him he's not like the other kids, but he's still bi-special?
zapatos
+0 -0
Sometimes they are so nice you wish there was a switch you could flip to make them gay.
Well besides the current switch: alchohol.
Sometimes they are so nice you wish there was a switch you could flip to make them gay.
Well besides the current switch: alchohol.
ashoykh
+0 -0
I have no idea what you're saying zapatos, but I'm going to play on your words anyways:
Notice that Pete's light switch is OFF.
I have no idea what you're saying zapatos, but I'm going to play on your words anyways:
Notice that Pete's light switch is OFF.
zapatos
+0 -0
I was talking about dudes with cute butts.
I was talking about dudes with cute butts.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
You sir, have too much to say.
You sir, have too much to say.
redphillip
+0 -0
Sir, it is never possible to say too much about dudes with cute butts.
Sir, it is never possible to say too much about dudes with cute butts.
zapatos
+0 -0
He really has the cutest lil toosh.
He really has the cutest lil toosh.
belgand
+0 -0
Possibly the same way a centaur would feel about seeing a fine rump sticking out of the back of a barn, but not knowing whether it was another centaur or a horse. Centaurs do not have sex with horses. That would be sick.
Possibly the same way a centaur would feel about seeing a fine rump sticking out of the back of a barn, but not knowing whether it was another centaur or a horse. Centaurs do not have sex with horses. That would be sick.
stereo
+0 -0
I think our problem is that our sense of smell basically sucks and we cannot tell whether someone is male or female, or even if they're aroused a lot of the time.
I think our problem is that our sense of smell basically sucks and we cannot tell whether someone is male or female, or even if they're aroused a lot of the time.
stereo
+1 -0
"Us" being people with human noses, such as humans, centaurs,the sphinx , gnomes etc.
"Us" being people with human noses, such as humans, centaurs,
mattylite
+1 -0
I will admit this on the internet: I have seen asses that turned my head, and then to my dismay I have noticed:
a. it was a man's ass
b. it was the ass of a girl that is FOR REAL too young
c. it was an old lady's ass
I am willing to accept these setbacks.
I will admit this on the internet: I have seen asses that turned my head, and then to my dismay I have noticed:
a. it was a man's ass
b. it was the ass of a girl that is FOR REAL too young
c. it was an old lady's ass
I am willing to accept these setbacks.
zapatos
+0 -0
That "too young" nonsense very much hinders my day. I forget to wear my glasses... I whistle... I get arrested.
That "too young" nonsense very much hinders my day. I forget to wear my glasses... I whistle... I get arrested.
thegoblins
+0 -0
See, I don't get the choice of the word "tonus" here. It just seems a really odd way to describe a romantic interest, though this might be because I've been reading all up on the cardiovascular physiology for a few hours. Such a clinical word to describe someone he's infatuated with!
See, I don't get the choice of the word "tonus" here. It just seems a really odd way to describe a romantic interest, though this might be because I've been reading all up on the cardiovascular physiology for a few hours. Such a clinical word to describe someone he's infatuated with!
sje46
+0 -0
Baryth-taking indeed.
Baryth-taking indeed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh hell yes. "Bookends" is now in my head whenever I see them.
Oh hell yes. "Bookends" is now in my head whenever I see them.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
So now that's a liquor magazine, a tosada magazine, and a Polish joke magazine. Any others besides Maxim (ten hot summer words) that I'm missing?
So now that's a liquor magazine, a tosada magazine, and a Polish joke magazine. Any others besides Maxim (ten hot summer words) that I'm missing?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Although perhaps not mentioned, I like to think that Ray subscribes to Breast Man
Although perhaps not mentioned, I like to think that Ray subscribes to Breast Man
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Every breast man is subscribed to it, by the power of breastlove, and gets it for free.
Every breast man is subscribed to it, by the power of breastlove, and gets it for free.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
What does a clit man like get?
What does a clit man like get?
tekende
+7 -0
Gratitude from the ladies.
Gratitude from the ladies.
featurelessvoid
+17 -0
Lilliputian Yachting Review , the leading authority on little men in boats.
Lilliputian Yachting Review , the leading authority on little men in boats.
tekende
+0 -0
You, sir, are a genius.
You, sir, are a genius.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Ditto.
Ditto.
pogo
+0 -0
Dildo.
Dildo.
hamscout
+0 -0
Oooh la la!
Oooh la la!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Lingual Digest?
Lingual Digest?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
(v.) a fancy way of saying eating with your tongue.
(v.) a fancy way of saying eating with your tongue.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Clits is what he gets. Moist, I think.
Clits is what he gets. Moist, I think.
zapatos
+0 -0
GoofJuice in his beard.
GoofJuice in his beard.
toiletstore
+1 -0
i am happy for connie.
i am happy for connie.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I like your spirit.
I like your spirit.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Starring Meg Ryan!
Starring Meg Ryan!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Columbia TriStar Television.
Columbia TriStar Television.
aeater
+0 -0
Not that I expect Onstad to end the strip, but these last two comics have a feel of epilogue about them.
Not that I expect Onstad to end the strip, but these last two comics have a feel of epilogue about them.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
if the strip ends with cornelius loving on a stripper 1920s style and roast beef eating toast i'll kill myself for real DON'T TRY ME
here come the stars, tumbling around me,
and there is a sky, where the sea s h o u l d b e
if the strip ends with cornelius loving on a stripper 1920s style and roast beef eating toast i'll kill myself for real DON'T TRY ME
here come the stars, tumbling around me,
and there is a sky, where the sea s h o u l d b e
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
You're right. The last two comics are like panels midway through The Future placed under a microscope.
You're right. The last two comics are like panels midway through The Future placed under a microscope.
chrissketch
+0 -0
I had the same suspicions but feared that typing them might somehow cause them to actualize.
So I guess what I'm saying is, if Achewood ends soon, its aeater's fault.
I had the same suspicions but feared that typing them might somehow cause them to actualize.
So I guess what I'm saying is, if Achewood ends soon, its aeater's fault.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Catching up =/= epilogue.
Catching up =/= epilogue.
jaldor
+0 -0
I think you mean !=.
I think you mean !=.
biff
+0 -0
Depends on whether you are a mathematician or a computer programmer.
Depends on whether you are a mathematician or a computer programmer.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I meant what I said and I said what I meant. Nice-on-water is faithful, one hundred percent.
I meant what I said and I said what I meant. Nice-on-water is faithful, one hundred percent.
aeater
+0 -0
Not saying it is. C:
The "where are they now" vibe in these strips is strong, and in my short life I have come to associate this with epilogues.
Not saying it is. C:
The "where are they now" vibe in these strips is strong, and in my short life I have come to associate this with epilogues.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Where are they now? As opposed to where they were last week?
Where are they now? As opposed to where they were last week?
sje46
+0 -0
You guys have been saying that this is the end of Achewood since the beginning of the arc. But Onstad won't quit on us. He has a baby or something to feed.
You guys have been saying that this is the end of Achewood since the beginning of the arc. But Onstad won't quit on us. He has a baby or something to feed.
rowboat
+0 -0
Actually, Onstad has about 8,000 babies to feed.
Actually, Onstad has about 8,000 babies to feed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
::cough:: Seems like it...
::cough:: Seems like it...
zapatos
+0 -0
waaaaaaaaaaaah i want more free comics! Waaah!
waaaaaaaaaaaah i want more free comics! Waaah!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
What's up B? Wa-sa-bi
I'm searchin' the city for sci-fi wasabi
The start button has been pushed already
Obi-Wan Kenobi is waiting for me in Union Square
My wheel needs repair. The bike lane's glowing all over the city
My bike 'specializes' in the nitty-gritty
New York City never had equality, it's reality, economic duality
Where are my amenities
Tell me my sanity
Ain't no analogy for individuality, I got immunity from multiplicity
That's how we do it. We got your harmony.
Where's you're identity?
Our name is stereotype with an A
I got to get the shit straight
Your vision of stupidity's made of vanity
Keep your quality up in the sky
What's up B? Wa-sa-bi
I'm searchin' the city for sci-fi wasabi
The start button has been pushed already
Obi-Wan Kenobi is waiting for me in Union Square
My wheel needs repair. The bike lane's glowing all over the city
My bike 'specializes' in the nitty-gritty
New York City never had equality, it's reality, economic duality
Where are my amenities
Tell me my sanity
Ain't no analogy for individuality, I got immunity from multiplicity
That's how we do it. We got your harmony.
Where's you're identity?
Our name is stereotype with an A
I got to get the shit straight
Your vision of stupidity's made of vanity
Keep your quality up in the sky
tekende
+0 -0
Uh
O-okay.
Uh
O-okay.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You druuuuuunk, homes.
You druuuuuunk, homes.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
high, but close enough. No fans of Cibo Matto in here?
high, but close enough. No fans of Cibo Matto in here?
bondijames
+0 -0
I hope my bowels never go off-warranty.
I hope my bowels never go off-warranty.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
RENEW THAT SHIT
RENEW THAT SHIT
spong
+1 -0
This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your bowels is about to expire
This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your bowels is about to expire
smallblackdog
+1 -0
An off-warranty bowel is when you walk into a garage, the mechanics suck their teeth and say 'sounds expensive'
An off-warranty bowel is when you walk into a garage, the mechanics suck their teeth and say 'sounds expensive'
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Fraid we're gonna have to rebuild that puppy. Drive her up on the rails and let's take a look-see.
Fraid we're gonna have to rebuild that puppy. Drive her up on the rails and let's take a look-see.
bondijames
+0 -0
Also is Nice Pete going for sort of a David Foster Wallace thing with all the footnotes?
(Too soon?)
Also is Nice Pete going for sort of a David Foster Wallace thing with all the footnotes?
(Too soon?)
chrissketch
+0 -0
Yea, but I forgive you, because I thought the same thing.
Yea, but I forgive you, because I thought the same thing.
jaldor
+0 -0
I was super pissed that DFW killed himself in such a boring way. Hanging? He really should have put more effort into it.
I was super pissed that DFW killed himself in such a boring way. Hanging? He really should have put more effort into it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What....what is you are saying?...you did not like the ending?
What....what is you are saying?...you did not like the ending?
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
Hella roman a clef-hanger, though.
Hella roman a clef-hanger, though.
belgand
+0 -0
Dude killed himself out of crippling depression. Nobody in that state wants to come up with an elaborate suicide.
Hunter S. Thompson went for the lamest. Not to mention entirely inconsiderate. I mean, yeah, dude loved his guns, but I'd think some sort of intentional overdose would be more his style. Go out tripping hard.
Dude killed himself out of crippling depression. Nobody in that state wants to come up with an elaborate suicide.
Hunter S. Thompson went for the lamest. Not to mention entirely inconsiderate. I mean, yeah, dude loved his guns, but I'd think some sort of intentional overdose would be more his style. Go out tripping hard.
jaldor
+0 -0
MICROWAVE
He wouldn't have had to come up with anything since he already had the idea.
MICROWAVE
He wouldn't have had to come up with anything since he already had the idea.
biff
+0 -0
Was there some substance left he actually could take too much of???
Was there some substance left he actually could take too much of???
falseprophet
+10 -0
Man ladies and gentlemen your old boy falseprophet is feelin a little like an SAT prep book whose owner has gone to college and left me to let my pages yellow. A lady I met through a friend decided to come to a party with me and we were basically talking to each other all night about matters of life and sharing cherished memories but when it came time for the night to end I leaned in and she gave me the cheek and I am in a state of a tired frustrated boredom I am used to because it is not that I wish we had gone all the way because if my life were perfect it wouldn't have to be that way on a first date in the Go-Go Nineties, no I just wish she hadn't turned the wrong direction then looked at me and said "Thanks!" because that is a hella strange reaction to have to a dude who has just tried to make out with you and this is usually a signal that no further dates are necessary, the amount of fun that is possible to have has been had and I am off to look somewhere anew and it would be nice if I could say my Achewood is like a comforting webcomic pillow but seeing Cornelius's love just fills me with a quiet rage that I am too familiar with to get all up on the fast-track about so I will just leave you with the knowledge that no matter how realistic, no matter how literary, no matter how convincing, no matter how moving, we must all keep in mind that all fiction is a simplification, all moments of action and thought that make the world happen cannot be distilled in even the most verbose-yet-concise of pages.
Man ladies and gentlemen your old boy falseprophet is feelin a little like an SAT prep book whose owner has gone to college and left me to let my pages yellow. A lady I met through a friend decided to come to a party with me and we were basically talking to each other all night about matters of life and sharing cherished memories but when it came time for the night to end I leaned in and she gave me the cheek and I am in a state of a tired frustrated boredom I am used to because it is not that I wish we had gone all the way because if my life were perfect it wouldn't have to be that way on a first date in the Go-Go Nineties, no I just wish she hadn't turned the wrong direction then looked at me and said "Thanks!" because that is a hella strange reaction to have to a dude who has just tried to make out with you and this is usually a signal that no further dates are necessary, the amount of fun that is possible to have has been had and I am off to look somewhere anew and it would be nice if I could say my Achewood is like a comforting webcomic pillow but seeing Cornelius's love just fills me with a quiet rage that I am too familiar with to get all up on the fast-track about so I will just leave you with the knowledge that no matter how realistic, no matter how literary, no matter how convincing, no matter how moving, we must all keep in mind that all fiction is a simplification, all moments of action and thought that make the world happen cannot be distilled in even the most verbose-yet-concise of pages.
genocidefish
+1 -0
Maybe it's because you let it slip that you make snuff porn. Happens to me all the time. You're talking to a lady at a party all night, you lean in, she gives you the damn cheek and you're all "did I mention I make snuff porn?" and she's all, "yeah, a couple of hours ago", and you're like "shit, I really thought I'd got through that one".
Would you like to purchase one of my videos? Some gentlemen find it cheers them up after a bad experience with the ladies.
Maybe it's because you let it slip that you make snuff porn. Happens to me all the time. You're talking to a lady at a party all night, you lean in, she gives you the damn cheek and you're all "did I mention I make snuff porn?" and she's all, "yeah, a couple of hours ago", and you're like "shit, I really thought I'd got through that one".
Would you like to purchase one of my videos? Some gentlemen find it cheers them up after a bad experience with the ladies.
scorpio_nadir
+18 -0
Zo. Zere iss conflict of storylines here? You are feeling jealous of old, fictional stuffed bear, yes?
Because he is, at end of his life, having unexpected joy relationship, but you in early part of yours are getting nothink from Dancing Queen, yes? No french kiss, just bupkiss?
Oh-ho, oh-ho.
Sorry.
You Thank Your Lucky Stars, young main. Go jogging. Yes. Have good cry. Have another.
This girl, she could have brought the pain that would make you envious of carefree life of two shits in biscuit. You knever know such things in advance. Old bear knows these things in retrospect.
Zo. Zere iss conflict of storylines here? You are feeling jealous of old, fictional stuffed bear, yes?
Because he is, at end of his life, having unexpected joy relationship, but you in early part of yours are getting nothink from Dancing Queen, yes? No french kiss, just bupkiss?
Oh-ho, oh-ho.
Sorry.
You Thank Your Lucky Stars, young main. Go jogging. Yes. Have good cry. Have another.
This girl, she could have brought the pain that would make you envious of carefree life of two shits in biscuit. You knever know such things in advance. Old bear knows these things in retrospect.
falseprophet
+0 -0
This made me feel better.
This made me feel better.
kamet
+0 -0
Here babe.. Second base.
Here babe.. Second base.
sje46
+0 -0
GIVE ME IT
GIVE ME IT
MEMEMEMEMEM
I WANT IT
*cries*
GIVE ME IT
GIVE ME IT
MEMEMEMEMEM
I WANT IT
*cries*
zapatos
+0 -0
*steal*
Give me a call some time Sweetheart.
*steal*
Give me a call some time Sweetheart.
rowboat
+0 -0
Hey, dude - you ever steal home? Now that shit's hardcore.
Hey, dude - you ever steal home? Now that shit's hardcore.
zapatos
+0 -0
No, but I've struck out a few times.
...then hit her with a bat and threw in my car and drove off, so to answer your question, yes.
No, but I've struck out a few times.
...then hit her with a bat and threw in my car and drove off, so to answer your question, yes.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
They call that shit statchitory date-rape where I come from.
They call that shit statchitory date-rape where I come from.
rowboat
+0 -0
Ain't nothin' statutory about it, bra.
Ain't nothin' statutory about it, bra.
zapatos
+0 -0
She was twenty three. I suppose she still is twenty three, do you get a birthday if you're hogtied under someone's stairs?
She was twenty three. I suppose she still is twenty three, do you get a birthday if you're hogtied under someone's stairs?
chrissketch
+0 -0
This deserves far more chubbies than I, alone, am able to give.
This deserves far more chubbies than I, alone, am able to give.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What is your avatar, by the way, chrissketch.
It looks like Simon Pegg but I am probably wrong.
What is your avatar, by the way, chrissketch.
It looks like Simon Pegg but I am probably wrong.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
It is the sad, old, Charles Foster Kane, clapping loudly, roundly, and in an unhinged way for the woman who he put up on a pedestal as his own Venus de Milo , roundly ignoring that his Venus was not only missing her arms, but any speck of talent for the stage.
It is the sad, old, Charles Foster Kane, clapping loudly, roundly, and in an unhinged way for the woman who he put up on a pedestal as his own Venus de Milo , roundly ignoring that his Venus was not only missing her arms, but any speck of talent for the stage.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
I liked it better when it was Simon Pegg.
I liked it better when it was Simon Pegg.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Quiet. Victor Borge is on the pay-per-view!
Quiet. Victor Borge is on the pay-per-view!
belgand
+0 -0
Citizen Kane is due to be remade in 2011. Perhaps you can lobby for Simon Pegg to play Kane in it. We'll probably get Matthew McConaughey though.
Citizen Kane is due to be remade in 2011. Perhaps you can lobby for Simon Pegg to play Kane in it. We'll probably get Matthew McConaughey though.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh god I hope you are fucking kidding.
Oh god I hope you are fucking kidding.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Are you saying they (they being The Douchebags That Be) are actually working on remaking the movie or is it just your calculations based on the cyclical nature of Hollywood?
Are you saying they (they being The Douchebags That Be) are actually working on remaking the movie or is it just your calculations based on the cyclical nature of Hollywood?
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Failure to Kane ?
Failure to Kane ?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Reign of Fire 2: ROSEBUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
Reign of Fire 2: ROSEBUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Even better if read in the voice of a Russian Yoda.
Even better if read in the voice of a Russian Yoda.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
At least you didn't spend a semester hanging out with her and accompanying her to terrible experimental theater performances only to have it conclude the same way.
At least you didn't spend a semester hanging out with her and accompanying her to terrible experimental theater performances only to have it conclude the same way.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
And at least you didn't spend an entire school year slowly becoming friends with her from sitting next to each other in Spanish class and getting your hopes up when she convinced you to drive her to a rave, only to somehow end up at a college party where she got boned by two dudes not including you while you were left on a gross couch in the dank basement shivering from a bad ecstasy trip until you fell asleep.
And at least you didn't spend an entire school year slowly becoming friends with her from sitting next to each other in Spanish class and getting your hopes up when she convinced you to drive her to a rave, only to somehow end up at a college party where she got boned by two dudes not including you while you were left on a gross couch in the dank basement shivering from a bad ecstasy trip until you fell asleep.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You got nothing on me, hombre!
You got nothing on me, hombre!
tekende
+0 -0
That's what you get for doing drugs!
That's what you get for doing drugs!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And, uh, everything else in your shitty life.
And, uh, everything else in your shitty life.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Pity-party line forms on the right for boys, left for girls.
Pity-party line forms on the right for boys, left for girls.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well, I got this ingrown toe-nail...
Well, I got this ingrown toe-nail...
irondave
+0 -0
I encourage you to consider a complete break with your present life.
I encourage you to consider a complete break with your present life.
kamet
+0 -0
If I had plans, they were made by a life that I no longer maintain.
If I had plans, they were made by a life that I no longer maintain.
belgand
+0 -0
Was she being boned by the two dudes simultaneously or serially? Were they all in the same room at the same time?
This makes it important. She was down with being boned, possibly super-boned, but not by you. She just wanted a ride to go get ridden.
Was she being boned by the two dudes simultaneously or serially? Were they all in the same room at the same time?
This makes it important. She was down with being boned, possibly super-boned, but not by you. She just wanted a ride to go get ridden.
zapatos
+0 -0
Maybe you should have gone up and had her warm you up?
Maybe you should have gone up and had her warm you up?
daedala_x
+2 -0
at "i leaned in" i was all "dang falseprophet, you go player!" cuz most dudes i know don't even get to that stage, they just mainly imagine with all their might how it would feel to hold hands with the lady, eat her cooked meals, and somewhere in there is the thought of coming on her face, not because she is an object, but because she is your gf and she is down. but they don't do shit, and then they go home and dismiss it as something that could never have worked out anyway. but you acted, and that's hell of commendable. like my mother always used to say, "if you don't apply to Harvard, you'll never know if you could've gotten in". i applied. i didn't get in. but that's beside the point.
i'm pretty sure that if i weren't a lady i would never have had a relationship my entire life. i don't understand men, and i understand fellow ladies even less. in fact, it boggles my mind how people ever manage to connect in the real world. physical attraction is cheap, you can get that anywhere. but like, i've never met a dude in real life who i've felt both an intellectual AND emotional connection with. whether this is an issue with the dude or with the medium, i don't know, but i'm sure the medium doesn't help. like it's really hard to know if a dude is sincere irl.
there was one time where i felt like i really connected with a dude i met at a party we were throwing at my apt, and on subsequent hang-outs, we talked about a lot of deep shit and he kept telling me i was the coolest girl he'd ever met at our school and the other chicks here just don't "get it". considering the content of our conversations, i was pretty convinced that this was actually true. he lent me his copy of j.g. ballard's "crash" and i lent him my copy of nelly arcan's "whore" and i really thought it was going to be a Thing. after a couple of makeouts, i suppose he became frustrated that i wasn't "putting out" so he decided to never call me again or answer any of my calls. and i am left angry and wondering if everything he said to me earlier was pure bullshit, or whether it was true, but still totally secondary to getting off. to this day i can't decide which would have been more insulting. the point is, this is why girls are suspicious of and guard against your advances irl, even if there seems to be hell of "cherished moments". it's like how imperfect information leads to market failure. we just can't see inside your heads. but you know where you can see inside people's heads? on the internet. and i will just leave it at that. ALL SMART PEOPLE SHOULD INTERNET DATE. ok i'm finished.
at "i leaned in" i was all "dang falseprophet, you go player!" cuz most dudes i know don't even get to that stage, they just mainly imagine with all their might how it would feel to hold hands with the lady, eat her cooked meals, and somewhere in there is the thought of coming on her face, not because she is an object, but because she is your gf and she is down. but they don't do shit, and then they go home and dismiss it as something that could never have worked out anyway. but you acted, and that's hell of commendable. like my mother always used to say, "if you don't apply to Harvard, you'll never know if you could've gotten in". i applied. i didn't get in. but that's beside the point.
i'm pretty sure that if i weren't a lady i would never have had a relationship my entire life. i don't understand men, and i understand fellow ladies even less. in fact, it boggles my mind how people ever manage to connect in the real world. physical attraction is cheap, you can get that anywhere. but like, i've never met a dude in real life who i've felt both an intellectual AND emotional connection with. whether this is an issue with the dude or with the medium, i don't know, but i'm sure the medium doesn't help. like it's really hard to know if a dude is sincere irl.
there was one time where i felt like i really connected with a dude i met at a party we were throwing at my apt, and on subsequent hang-outs, we talked about a lot of deep shit and he kept telling me i was the coolest girl he'd ever met at our school and the other chicks here just don't "get it". considering the content of our conversations, i was pretty convinced that this was actually true. he lent me his copy of j.g. ballard's "crash" and i lent him my copy of nelly arcan's "whore" and i really thought it was going to be a Thing. after a couple of makeouts, i suppose he became frustrated that i wasn't "putting out" so he decided to never call me again or answer any of my calls. and i am left angry and wondering if everything he said to me earlier was pure bullshit, or whether it was true, but still totally secondary to getting off. to this day i can't decide which would have been more insulting. the point is, this is why girls are suspicious of and guard against your advances irl, even if there seems to be hell of "cherished moments". it's like how imperfect information leads to market failure. we just can't see inside your heads. but you know where you can see inside people's heads? on the internet. and i will just leave it at that. ALL SMART PEOPLE SHOULD INTERNET DATE. ok i'm finished.
gladi8orrex
+6 -1
daedala i ment wat i saids 2 u those man years ago is juss ma moms died so i pushd aways eery ting i luv. it's intristin nah dat we shuld meet up agane years l8r adder the wounds o ma moms passn hab heald sos we can floundr undah deh moone lite unce mo
ib u'll hab me dat is (gosh u is stil as smot as evah)
only dis time plz put out ok?
daedala i ment wat i saids 2 u those man years ago is juss ma moms died so i pushd aways eery ting i luv. it's intristin nah dat we shuld meet up agane years l8r adder the wounds o ma moms passn hab heald sos we can floundr undah deh moone lite unce mo
ib u'll hab me dat is (gosh u is stil as smot as evah)
only dis time plz put out ok?
daedala_x
+0 -1
Quote:
damn, you're not.
Quote:
gosh u is stil as smot as evah
damn, you're not.
smilebuddha
+3 -0
Shh shh shh, daedala. Shhh. He is looking for a Thing, and you are looking for a Thing, and while it might not be your Thing, or his Thing, or even a prior Thing mutually shared, it is a Thing nonetheless.
You know who else looked for a Thing?
This Cat right here. And you know something? He wound up finding two . Yes he did.
Shh shh shh, daedala. Shhh. He is looking for a Thing, and you are looking for a Thing, and while it might not be your Thing, or his Thing, or even a prior Thing mutually shared, it is a Thing nonetheless.
You know who else looked for a Thing?
This Cat right here. And you know something? He wound up finding two . Yes he did.
zapatos
+0 -0
Daedala, I am sorry that you have to deal with assholes. We are all over the place and we just want to get laid... Most of the time.
I am that guy who goes out and gets ladies, then goes home with those ladies, and has sex with those ladies. Then I don't call them back.
However! I try to let them know before hand. Something along the lines of, "I am a big giant slut, and I am not down for a relationship right now." If a man says something along those lines, he is probably not lieing. If a man tells you are so super great and all these things, he probably isn't lieing to you, because honestly you are so super great Dae.
You are smart, you talk about tentacle rape, you love the Achewoods, and you are rockin' hot. These are things I look for in a lady, the other thing I look for is me. In her. Doing the sex.
Uh... Yeah! Party!
Daedala, I am sorry that you have to deal with assholes. We are all over the place and we just want to get laid... Most of the time.
I am that guy who goes out and gets ladies, then goes home with those ladies, and has sex with those ladies. Then I don't call them back.
However! I try to let them know before hand. Something along the lines of, "I am a big giant slut, and I am not down for a relationship right now." If a man says something along those lines, he is probably not lieing. If a man tells you are so super great and all these things, he probably isn't lieing to you, because honestly you are so super great Dae.
You are smart, you talk about tentacle rape, you love the Achewoods, and you are rockin' hot. These are things I look for in a lady, the other thing I look for is me. In her. Doing the sex.
Uh... Yeah! Party!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm confused I thought you said that you don't get with the ladies.
I'm confused I thought you said that you don't get with the ladies.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No, that was me.
No, that was me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OH man I look dumb.
OH man I look dumb.
sje46
+0 -0
I do t get with the ladies neither.
:(
I do t get with the ladies neither.
:(
zapatos
+0 -0
A. Elbow has pointed out how I get with the ladies. Or at least how doing so is my most commonly discussed topic.
I get fresh with the fine white women GH. Also the fine non-white women. Also the not so fine women. Also the cutest of men. Ah yeah.
A. Elbow has pointed out how I get with the ladies. Or at least how doing so is my most commonly discussed topic.
I get fresh with the fine white women GH. Also the fine non-white women. Also the not so fine women. Also the cutest of men. Ah yeah.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Are..are you mixed sexuality?
Are..are you mixed sexuality?
zapatos
+0 -0
No, I'm very straight... down my own path.
No, I'm very straight... down my own path.
belgand
+0 -0
He gets with the ladies, but in the end they do not like him.
He gets with the ladies, but in the end they do not like him.
belgand
+0 -0
I never understood that. If you have sex with them and it is good would you not wish to have further congress with them? This seems short-sighted.
Then again I see no pleasure in the chase.
I never understood that. If you have sex with them and it is good would you not wish to have further congress with them? This seems short-sighted.
Then again I see no pleasure in the chase.
zapatos
+0 -0
The sex is good, but they are most inarticulate.
The sex is good, but they are most inarticulate.
wozzeck
+0 -0
If you can lend a girl Crash , and she wants to see you again, keep her. If she never returns it, marry her.
If you can lend a girl Crash , and she wants to see you again, keep her. If she never returns it, marry her.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ladies love Don Cheadle.
Ladies love Don Cheadle.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Who?
Who?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
wozzeck
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHM8ClE-niQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHM8ClE-niQ
wozzeck
+0 -0
My favorite parts are at 2:00, 2:05, and 2:10. They get me every time.
My favorite parts are at 2:00, 2:05, and 2:10. They get me every time.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
[img[https://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004RCOB.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpgp[/img]
[img[https://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004RCOB.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpgp[/img]
theguitarhero
+0 -0
wozzeck
+0 -0
theguitarhero
+2 -0
theguitarhero
+0 -0
for those playing at home, the original joke was that I confused one of the myriad media items called Crash for the other.
for those playing at home, the original joke was that I confused one of the myriad media items called Crash for the other.
zapatos
+0 -0
I did it earlier, in my defense I have never heard of the novel. In my defense for never hearing of the novel, I read mucho fantasy and haven't had anyone to show me good books. Chuck Pailnuck was pretty much the most edgey thing we had. Have? I dunno.
I did it earlier, in my defense I have never heard of the novel. In my defense for never hearing of the novel, I read mucho fantasy and haven't had anyone to show me good books. Chuck Pailnuck was pretty much the most edgey thing we had. Have? I dunno.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't know who Pailnuck is, but Palahniuk is still alive (watch me have misspelled his name)
I don't know who Pailnuck is, but Palahniuk is still alive (watch me have misspelled his name)
zapatos
+0 -0
There was no allusion to his death.
Also I knew I couldn't spell his name, and didn't want to google it, so I just threw it out phonetically.
Also you spelled it correctly.
There was no allusion to his death.
Also I knew I couldn't spell his name, and didn't want to google it, so I just threw it out phonetically.
Also you spelled it correctly.
sje46
+0 -0
You didn't know whether to say "had" or "have". I thought you were asking if he was still alive.
You didn't know whether to say "had" or "have". I thought you were asking if he was still alive.
zapatos
+0 -0
I mean we still don't have anything good in my circle of friends. I rescind that statement, we don't have anything avant-garde.
I mean we still don't have anything good in my circle of friends. I rescind that statement, we don't have anything avant-garde.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
belgand
+0 -0
That's not the phonetic spelling either. Unless you are mispronouncing it. It is derived from the names of (I believe) his grandparents Paula and Nick and is pronounced as such.
That's not the phonetic spelling either. Unless you are mispronouncing it. It is derived from the names of (I believe) his grandparents Paula and Nick and is pronounced as such.
zapatos
+0 -0
That is a bary clever penname.
Basically I didn't give a fuck about his name and just wanted to be able to pass something off.
For a minute I thought I spelt it fonetically. I was a little bit afraid.
That is a bary clever penname.
Basically I didn't give a fuck about his name and just wanted to be able to pass something off.
For a minute I thought I spelt it fonetically. I was a little bit afraid.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I've never seen that cover! From whence did it come?
I've never seen that cover! From whence did it come?
wozzeck
+0 -0
It was, apparently, never used. The designer claims the publisher turned it down because it was too risque for Wal-Mart, in response to which the aforementioned designer naturally wonders just how many copies of Crash Wal-Mart stocks.
It was, apparently, never used. The designer claims the publisher turned it down because it was too risque for Wal-Mart, in response to which the aforementioned designer naturally wonders just how many copies of Crash Wal-Mart stocks.
tekende
+0 -0
Uh my guess would be like zero or somewhere around there
Yes basically zero
Uh my guess would be like zero or somewhere around there
Yes basically zero
wozzeck
+0 -0
I would think it would be a hit with the NASCAR fanatics, if someone would only teach them to read.
I would think it would be a hit with the NASCAR fanatics, if someone would only teach them to read.
tekende
+0 -0
I actually strongly doubt that.
I actually strongly doubt that.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It has sex and car crashes. They could at least appreciate it on that level. Kind of like how Fight Club was marketed as a movie about guys beating the shit out of each other.
It has sex and car crashes. They could at least appreciate it on that level. Kind of like how Fight Club was marketed as a movie about guys beating the shit out of each other.
sje46
+0 -0
That is also what Fight Club was about, coincidentally.
That is also what Fight Club was about, coincidentally.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Not really. I'd say that was like 10% of it.
Not really. I'd say that was like 10% of it.
sje46
+0 -0
That is true. It is about other things as well. Must a work of fiction be about only one thing?
And if I recall correctly, Ebert thinks that the men beating each other is the whole point of the movie. It is one of the few things I disagree with him about.
That is true. It is about other things as well. Must a work of fiction be about only one thing?
And if I recall correctly, Ebert thinks that the men beating each other is the whole point of the movie. It is one of the few things I disagree with him about.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
5%. If that.
5%. If that.
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, but the sex is extremely disturbing and perverse.
Yes, but the sex is extremely disturbing and perverse.
wozzeck
+0 -0
So is NASCAR.
Oh, I'm sorry, NASCAR .
These people would fuck cattle.
See: Their wives and girlfriends.
So is NASCAR.
Oh, I'm sorry, NASCAR .
These people would fuck cattle.
See: Their wives and girlfriends.
zapatos
+0 -0
The only thing that is a -HIT- with nascar fans, is the onomonopia from a baseball bat to their foreheads.
The only thing that is a -HIT- with nascar fans, is the onomonopia from a baseball bat to their foreheads.
stereo
+0 -0
Are you looking at naked black guys again?
Awwwww, moooomm, it's the internet! Everybody is doing it!
Are you looking at naked black guys again?
Awwwww, moooomm, it's the internet! Everybody is doing it!
kamet
+0 -0
I know I am.
I know I am.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
Damn girl, this is not a happy story at all.
Yet for exactly the exact same reasons, all smart people should not internet date, methinks. If only so that they don't leave dating irl to the others . That would be a mess.
Damn girl, this is not a happy story at all.
Yet for exactly the exact same reasons, all smart people should not internet date, methinks. If only so that they don't leave dating irl to the others . That would be a mess.
belgand
+0 -0
I applied to, among others, Cornell. My guidance counselor failed to send in necessary materials from my record despite being provided with an addressed, stamped manila envelope. I was notified of this when they sent me a letter after the application deadline saying that my application was incomplete.
The only application he sent in was to a state school. I try not to blame him exclusively, but he basically fucked me over more or less completely. I'd even flown out and scheduled unnecessary application interviews.
I applied to, among others, Cornell. My guidance counselor failed to send in necessary materials from my record despite being provided with an addressed, stamped manila envelope. I was notified of this when they sent me a letter after the application deadline saying that my application was incomplete.
The only application he sent in was to a state school. I try not to blame him exclusively, but he basically fucked me over more or less completely. I'd even flown out and scheduled unnecessary application interviews.
sje46
+0 -0
Every guidance counselor that has ever lived is a failure. It is true. It is so true.
Every guidance counselor that has ever lived is a failure. It is true. It is so true.
wozzeck
+1 -0
They work diligently to swell their own ranks.
They work diligently to swell their own ranks.
tekende
+0 -0
I have had several relationships I thought would be Things. And they were not. The last two hurt the most. And the really shitty part about it is that I don't know what to do, how to make anything work in the future, and if anything will ever even happen, as I rarely meet new people and...I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess, you know, I feel your pain.
I have had several relationships I thought would be Things. And they were not. The last two hurt the most. And the really shitty part about it is that I don't know what to do, how to make anything work in the future, and if anything will ever even happen, as I rarely meet new people and...I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess, you know, I feel your pain.
sje46
+0 -0
*hug*
*hug*
zapatos
+0 -0
Tekende I am sorry, that sucks. I am there with you, and Dae, and... well maybe some other people.
Tekende I am sorry, that sucks. I am there with you, and Dae, and... well maybe some other people.
sje46
+0 -0
I know how you feel.
(I think you are an awesome girl by the way).
I have only connected with girls who live far away. My best chance for a girlfriend right now lives 3000 miles away.
I know how you feel.
(I think you are an awesome girl by the way).
I have only connected with girls who live far away. My best chance for a girlfriend right now lives 3000 miles away.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Thanks for the kind smart words daedala. Sounds like the guy you are talking about is exactly the kind of dude I am afraid I might become if I decide to stop being rizzeal and start trying to get lizzaid and then I would hate myself.
As for your later comment about black dudes being too smooth and confident, come on man look at our boy Barry O. and look where it got him. There is a difference between being smooth and confident and having nothing to back it up and having plenty to back it up. I'm workin on it. But it's hard to be 23 and have plenty to back it up with, which is why the hot art major types sleep with the professors. So it goes.
And also, on retrospect, she may have just been thinking "Oh shit oh shit man this guy is fun but I am just a young intern in Washington DC and I have no idea whether I will even be able to keep living in this city in a month and a half so now is not a good time to start a relationship oh shit oh shit." And even if that is the case that is pretty much the only way to think about it that will keep me from gettin all depressed, even if it is a self-delusion. So I'll just keep on keepin on.
Thanks for the kind smart words daedala. Sounds like the guy you are talking about is exactly the kind of dude I am afraid I might become if I decide to stop being rizzeal and start trying to get lizzaid and then I would hate myself.
As for your later comment about black dudes being too smooth and confident, come on man look at our boy Barry O. and look where it got him. There is a difference between being smooth and confident and having nothing to back it up and having plenty to back it up. I'm workin on it. But it's hard to be 23 and have plenty to back it up with, which is why the hot art major types sleep with the professors. So it goes.
And also, on retrospect, she may have just been thinking "Oh shit oh shit man this guy is fun but I am just a young intern in Washington DC and I have no idea whether I will even be able to keep living in this city in a month and a half so now is not a good time to start a relationship oh shit oh shit." And even if that is the case that is pretty much the only way to think about it that will keep me from gettin all depressed, even if it is a self-delusion. So I'll just keep on keepin on.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sometimes when I get dumped I think the same things too, that I am just too good.
The only difference is you probably are too good...
Sometimes when I get dumped I think the same things too, that I am just too good.
The only difference is you probably are too good...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I am not being sarcastic when I say that if thinking this makes you feel better, by all means keep thinking it if you are able to. But we know that most of the time this is NOT the case, because it could not be farther from the current cultural paradigm, in which girls have interpreted the gains of feminism to mean that letting dudes bone them without expecting any kind of commitment, intellectual connection, or even phone call from said dudes is 'empowering', and these are not just trashy sorority bimbos, but also the 'nice' girls of the sort that guys like us would like to be with, so while we sit here wondering if maybe we came on too strong or she just wasn't ready for a relationship, millions of girls, possibly some of the same ones, are out getting boned by dudes who couldn't care less, and it's not that we want to be like those assholes when in fact we would be perfectly happy with a world in which people go out with each other for like a month or at least a fucking week (you know, long enough to actually connect as human beings) and then have sex, but at the same time we see that the world is NOT like that, and when we are constantly made to believe that your worth as a guy depends on how successful you are at tricking girls into doing you or how much money you are able to earn for the purpose of gaining leverage over women, and when our best hope is being told not to worry, our time will come if we just wait our turn until eventually some of these nice girls settle down with us once they are all worn out from their years of wild, consequence-free sex with guys like zapatos (nothing personal, just using the closest example at hand), who will, for their part, probably find someone as well when they decide they feel like it and thus have had the best of both worlds, and that even if you finally find the perfect girl it may never fully make up for the deprivation you've felt until then... well, then you just can't help but feel a little screwed , and not in the good way.
I am not being sarcastic when I say that if thinking this makes you feel better, by all means keep thinking it if you are able to. But we know that most of the time this is NOT the case, because it could not be farther from the current cultural paradigm, in which girls have interpreted the gains of feminism to mean that letting dudes bone them without expecting any kind of commitment, intellectual connection, or even phone call from said dudes is 'empowering', and these are not just trashy sorority bimbos, but also the 'nice' girls of the sort that guys like us would like to be with, so while we sit here wondering if maybe we came on too strong or she just wasn't ready for a relationship, millions of girls, possibly some of the same ones, are out getting boned by dudes who couldn't care less, and it's not that we want to be like those assholes when in fact we would be perfectly happy with a world in which people go out with each other for like a month or at least a fucking week (you know, long enough to actually connect as human beings) and then have sex, but at the same time we see that the world is NOT like that, and when we are constantly made to believe that your worth as a guy depends on how successful you are at tricking girls into doing you or how much money you are able to earn for the purpose of gaining leverage over women, and when our best hope is being told not to worry, our time will come if we just wait our turn until eventually some of these nice girls settle down with us once they are all worn out from their years of wild, consequence-free sex with guys like zapatos (nothing personal, just using the closest example at hand), who will, for their part, probably find someone as well when they decide they feel like it and thus have had the best of both worlds, and that even if you finally find the perfect girl it may never fully make up for the deprivation you've felt until then... well, then you just can't help but feel a little screwed , and not in the good way.
stereo
+0 -0
Oh dang dude, your run-on sentences are hardcore.
And is that what money is for? I should have known it was simpler than I'd thought.
Oh dang dude, your run-on sentences are hardcore.
And is that what money is for? I should have known it was simpler than I'd thought.
aperson
+0 -0
Elboski spent ages taking a lady to terrible theatre and then she got mad rutty with some other dudes.
Women: They are simply inexplicable!
Elboski spent ages taking a lady to terrible theatre and then she got mad rutty with some other dudes.
Women: They are simply inexplicable!
aperson
+0 -0
[Almost a Robert Palmer reference]
[Almost a Robert Palmer reference]
sje46
+0 -0
Women do not like to be taken on dates to a porno theatre. They do like it, however, if you kill mafioso pedophiles.
(Hi, Mom!)
Women do not like to be taken on dates to a porno theatre. They do like it, however, if you kill mafioso pedophiles.
(Hi, Mom!)
rowboat
+0 -0
Whoa! Multi-layered De Niro reference in the house!
Whoa! Multi-layered De Niro reference in the house!
sje46
+0 -0
I've only seen half of Taxi Driver though. I wanna see the whole thing. I heard it's based off Notes From Underground, which is an all-around awesome novella.
Hi, Mom! was pretty funny, and, well, odd.
I've only seen half of Taxi Driver though. I wanna see the whole thing. I heard it's based off Notes From Underground, which is an all-around awesome novella.
Hi, Mom! was pretty funny, and, well, odd.
sje46
+0 -0
Based off it in tone and character and existential philosophy, not the story, although there are similarities with the prostitute-saving.
Based off it in tone and character and existential philosophy, not the story, although there are similarities with the prostitute-saving.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Wow I never even made that connection. It's a very tenuous one, though. The Underground Man is hyper-conscious, while Trevor struck me as barely self-aware. Yes, both of them try to rescue a prostitute, but for entirely different reasons and with entirely different results.
Wow I never even made that connection. It's a very tenuous one, though. The Underground Man is hyper-conscious, while Trevor struck me as barely self-aware. Yes, both of them try to rescue a prostitute, but for entirely different reasons and with entirely different results.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Travis. I said Travis.
Travis. I said Travis.
sje46
+0 -0
Paul Schrader apparently said that Notes From Underground was an influence on Taxi Driver. But it was actually cited on Wikipedia.
I don't know if Travis is hypoconscious. Why can't he be hyper-conscious? We do not see what is going on in his mind. Perhaps he knows that he is destroying himself and decided it. I do get the sense that Travis is grasping meaning from revenge (assassinating the senator because he is somehow to blame for the failed date, and then killing the mafioso). Underground Dude gets it from trying to assert revenge on the officer who makes him step aside, and the guys at the party. It's all about how the universe is inherently meaningless, and you have to pick your own meaning.
This sounds like a response for Senior English. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Either way they are both kinda existential, in tone.
Paul Schrader apparently said that Notes From Underground was an influence on Taxi Driver. But it was actually cited on Wikipedia.
I don't know if Travis is hypoconscious. Why can't he be hyper-conscious? We do not see what is going on in his mind. Perhaps he knows that he is destroying himself and decided it. I do get the sense that Travis is grasping meaning from revenge (assassinating the senator because he is somehow to blame for the failed date, and then killing the mafioso). Underground Dude gets it from trying to assert revenge on the officer who makes him step aside, and the guys at the party. It's all about how the universe is inherently meaningless, and you have to pick your own meaning.
This sounds like a response for Senior English. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Either way they are both kinda existential, in tone.
daedala_x
+0 -0
from what i recall of the movie, Travis is like a small child who is unable to understand or accept the nature/meaninglessness of the world in which he lives. the underground man, on the other hand, accepts fully the meaninglessness of his life, and it is for this reason he constructs such mind games for himself and others, in order to infuse his life with any meaning at all. Taxi Driver displays a bleaker tone than existentialism (nihilism? idk). there is a refusal to deeply analyze the meaninglessnss of his life, because such an analysis would itself be meaning. the movie seems to say that we are not responsible for the meaninglessness of our lives and therefore if meaninglessness is inevitable, why do anything, why follow any rules. but this leads to a complete disintegration of the psyche because the mind itself is composed of rules that determine what is meaningful and what is not in terms of language, concepts, and thought. this disintegration is what i interpreted as happening to Travis at the end, anyway. but i could be wrong.. i had some alcohol and was pretty sleepy.
from what i recall of the movie, Travis is like a small child who is unable to understand or accept the nature/meaninglessness of the world in which he lives. the underground man, on the other hand, accepts fully the meaninglessness of his life, and it is for this reason he constructs such mind games for himself and others, in order to infuse his life with any meaning at all. Taxi Driver displays a bleaker tone than existentialism (nihilism? idk). there is a refusal to deeply analyze the meaninglessnss of his life, because such an analysis would itself be meaning. the movie seems to say that we are not responsible for the meaninglessness of our lives and therefore if meaninglessness is inevitable, why do anything, why follow any rules. but this leads to a complete disintegration of the psyche because the mind itself is composed of rules that determine what is meaningful and what is not in terms of language, concepts, and thought. this disintegration is what i interpreted as happening to Travis at the end, anyway. but i could be wrong.. i had some alcohol and was pretty sleepy.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -1
Do you live in a bubble or something? Shut up if you know you don't know what you're talking about.
Do you live in a bubble or something? Shut up if you know you don't know what you're talking about.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -1
p.s. I knew Johnny Hinckley in grade school.
p.s. I knew Johnny Hinckley in grade school.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Was that directed at sje? What merited that response?
Was that directed at sje? What merited that response?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -1
Yes. "Shut up" is the best advice ever given, even if it's not actively asked for.
Yes. "Shut up" is the best advice ever given, even if it's not actively asked for.
sje46
+0 -0
What is your problem? I wish to discuss a subject that I don't know a whole ton about (existentialism). A good way to learn something is to express your ideas about it, and allow other people to correct you or to expand on your ideas. Do you have something against people learning and expanding each other's knowledge, guy?
What is your problem? I wish to discuss a subject that I don't know a whole ton about (existentialism). A good way to learn something is to express your ideas about it, and allow other people to correct you or to expand on your ideas. Do you have something against people learning and expanding each other's knowledge, guy?
daedala_x
+0 -0
i probably do live in a bubble, but if i never said anything, i'd never learn from people calling me out on it, would i? the reason i understood the movie the way i did is because i honestly could not understand why Travis would want to assassinate Senator Palantine. to me, this is either because he is childish, or because he is mentally unstable. i thought the only social commentary of the movie was that being a Vietnam veteran can really fuck people up psychologically because it reveals to them the failure of politics, and forces upon them the subsequent realization that the purpose of their lives up to now has been for a meaningless cause, and now they have to deal with the meaninglessness of their post-war existence, thus resulting in a dissolution of the psyche, etc. if there is deeper meaning behind it, please tell me, i'd really like to know.
i probably do live in a bubble, but if i never said anything, i'd never learn from people calling me out on it, would i? the reason i understood the movie the way i did is because i honestly could not understand why Travis would want to assassinate Senator Palantine. to me, this is either because he is childish, or because he is mentally unstable. i thought the only social commentary of the movie was that being a Vietnam veteran can really fuck people up psychologically because it reveals to them the failure of politics, and forces upon them the subsequent realization that the purpose of their lives up to now has been for a meaningless cause, and now they have to deal with the meaninglessness of their post-war existence, thus resulting in a dissolution of the psyche, etc. if there is deeper meaning behind it, please tell me, i'd really like to know.
sje46
+0 -0
No, that was directed towards me, according to Assetbarrista.
I think your analysis makes a lot of sense. You is a clever girl.
No, that was directed towards me, according to Assetbarrista.
I think your analysis makes a lot of sense. You is a clever girl.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Everyone lives in a bubble until they break out of it, but have you heard of or know anyone who has?
Talking and thinking never make it happen. Nor does taking drugs. Sometimes you can get a glimpse outside that bubble of your life. It is Reality out there.
I never sat through this entire movie, but I have the gist of the story. And it's just a movie.
Your take on the Viet-vet angle is incomplete. Forget about mental instability or dissolution of psyche. That happens in bootcamp, or the guy will fail his mission. He's been brainwashed into an amoral killer, then cut loose to fend in the Big City.
A guy who has been trained to kill people sees in ultimatums. Being a soldier who has killed in combat is mortgaging your soul. He is outside the parameters of 'normal'.
In return for that, this guy lives in black & white, life & death world, so he sees mundane existence much more clearly than regular folks for the crap it is.
Crystal clarity, all that neurotic bullshit is long gone because war will not tolerate it....until it comes creeping back when he's home again in the 'World'.
He sees how meaningless everyone's existence is, but especially his own. He has done evil for a cause he believed in, and it has isolated him, left him damaged. He wants to believe in something, wants to redeem himself, but he doesn't have the strength for the long haul.
It was just a movie.
The hard thing for the Vietnam Vets I knew (and know) was to return and dial down their perception to that humdrum after the ultimate rush of Kill or Be Killed. The astonishing thing to me was the (few) guys who somewhat self-healed after coming back. I'm thinking of one friend who went back a few years ago, to try to get some personal healing by helping people there, spreading some cash around, medical relief, etc. He really needed this to live with himself.
Some did that physically but in their heads they never left Vietnam. It was by far the biggest rush they'd ever experienced, and they were fixated, helplessly hooked on it.
Does that make sense?
Everyone lives in a bubble until they break out of it, but have you heard of or know anyone who has?
Talking and thinking never make it happen. Nor does taking drugs. Sometimes you can get a glimpse outside that bubble of your life. It is Reality out there.
I never sat through this entire movie, but I have the gist of the story. And it's just a movie.
Your take on the Viet-vet angle is incomplete. Forget about mental instability or dissolution of psyche. That happens in bootcamp, or the guy will fail his mission. He's been brainwashed into an amoral killer, then cut loose to fend in the Big City.
A guy who has been trained to kill people sees in ultimatums. Being a soldier who has killed in combat is mortgaging your soul. He is outside the parameters of 'normal'.
In return for that, this guy lives in black & white, life & death world, so he sees mundane existence much more clearly than regular folks for the crap it is.
Crystal clarity, all that neurotic bullshit is long gone because war will not tolerate it....until it comes creeping back when he's home again in the 'World'.
He sees how meaningless everyone's existence is, but especially his own. He has done evil for a cause he believed in, and it has isolated him, left him damaged. He wants to believe in something, wants to redeem himself, but he doesn't have the strength for the long haul.
It was just a movie.
The hard thing for the Vietnam Vets I knew (and know) was to return and dial down their perception to that humdrum after the ultimate rush of Kill or Be Killed. The astonishing thing to me was the (few) guys who somewhat self-healed after coming back. I'm thinking of one friend who went back a few years ago, to try to get some personal healing by helping people there, spreading some cash around, medical relief, etc. He really needed this to live with himself.
Some did that physically but in their heads they never left Vietnam. It was by far the biggest rush they'd ever experienced, and they were fixated, helplessly hooked on it.
Does that make sense?
sje46
+0 -0
So because you were in the Vietnam War--or your friends were--that gives you permission to tell well-meaning people who weren't even unintentionally offending people to shut up?
So because you were in the Vietnam War--or your friends were--that gives you permission to tell well-meaning people who weren't even unintentionally offending people to shut up?
daedala_x
+0 -0
shhh, sje, it's ok. we know you weren't being a know-it-all.
scorpio_nadir: reminding us that we are frogs in a well
sje: reminding us that it is not nice to throw rocks at those frogs
shhh, sje, it's ok. we know you weren't being a know-it-all.
scorpio_nadir: reminding us that we are frogs in a well
sje: reminding us that it is not nice to throw rocks at those frogs
scorpio_nadir
+0 -1
No, that has nothing to do with it and your mistaken perception indicates I was right. You're shotgunning too much mental data out there, sje. Your brain and mind are on overload. You can't learn anything that way. Trust me on this.
shut up[/i] is a powerful mantra I have given you. When one uses it, one gains the knowledge you seek. Oh, to clarify. It is a doing mantra, not a chanting one. If you want a chanting mantra to repeat, try [b]Here Comes a Special Boy
No, that has nothing to do with it and your mistaken perception indicates I was right. You're shotgunning too much mental data out there, sje. Your brain and mind are on overload. You can't learn anything that way. Trust me on this.
shut up[/i] is a powerful mantra I have given you. When one uses it, one gains the knowledge you seek. Oh, to clarify. It is a doing mantra, not a chanting one. If you want a chanting mantra to repeat, try [b]Here Comes a Special Boy
sje46
+0 -0
Don't patronize me. You are not justified in telling me to shut up. Tell me I'm wrong, tell me I don't understand what I'm talking about, tell me to be quiet if I may be embarrassing myself or unwittingly offending someone, but you don't tell a person to shut up.
Seriously, don't be a douche.
Don't patronize me. You are not justified in telling me to shut up. Tell me I'm wrong, tell me I don't understand what I'm talking about, tell me to be quiet if I may be embarrassing myself or unwittingly offending someone, but you don't tell a person to shut up.
Seriously, don't be a douche.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
The Dark Side is Strong in this one. wheeeeze
..Feel...the Power...of the Dark Side, Luke.....
The Dark Side is Strong in this one. wheeeeze
..Feel...the Power...of the Dark Side, Luke.....
aperson
+0 -0
He has a point, Darth Nadir (aka Obie Wanky Knobby, snurk).
He has a point, Darth Nadir (aka Obie Wanky Knobby, snurk).
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Et tu, aperson?...
..Cough....drama-Stagger...stagger....lurch...
Et tu, aperson?...
..Cough....drama-Stagger...stagger....lurch...
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Nadir, you are being a TOTAL douche. Sje was speculating about the possible influence of Notes from Underground on Taxi Driver. You came totally out of left field to say that he doesn't know what he's talking about, then went on a rant about how your personal Vietnam experiences made you an expert on the movie. Nowhere in your subsequent replies have you even mentioned Notes from Underground, which leads me to believe that you have never read it, which means that in the context of the discussion that you needlessly butted into, it is in fact YOU who does not know what he is talking about.
Have a nice day now.
Nadir, you are being a TOTAL douche. Sje was speculating about the possible influence of Notes from Underground on Taxi Driver. You came totally out of left field to say that he doesn't know what he's talking about, then went on a rant about how your personal Vietnam experiences made you an expert on the movie. Nowhere in your subsequent replies have you even mentioned Notes from Underground, which leads me to believe that you have never read it, which means that in the context of the discussion that you needlessly butted into, it is in fact YOU who does not know what he is talking about.
Have a nice day now.
sje46
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Actually, achilles, I may have been out of line, but you're out of line also.
Okay, before I go any further, let me proffer an apology in advance of what I'm going to say, to sje here for stomping on his sensibilities. That was rude. Big hugs for the kid too.
And to you and aperson. If you guys get my point somewhere down the line, the apology was not needed. But, if by pissing you off, I got you thinking about things, maybe you'll agree it was worth it. (I think Daedala gets it).
My rant was mainly an answer for Daedala's question. Maybe I'm being a douche, or maybe you and sje aren't getting the point I was making.
I did not say I was an expert on the movie, I said I hadn't seen it. I don't really intend to. But I do not see that plotline as being existentialist. This guy is not existentialist. What was that existentialist story by Sartre, the guy in prison- in Algiers- on the his last day of life? That's existentialism.
This guy becomes so focused in the reality that he's dying today, that he breaks through that bubble we were talking about. Everything shuts down, and he wakes up. His death is first the catalyst for this, then becomes inconsequential, as opposed to, say the death of David F. Wallace, which was an utter tragedy. Sartre's guy's death becomes inconsequential to him because he has transcended the life/death experience. This is a true thing.
In my view and experience, existentialism is the Western version of zen. Being here right now. Not tomorrow. Not dancing around concepts. Not having beliefs, opinions, views even.
There are a few things in life that get us focussed to that place. Our own Death can be one of those events, if we use it for that. The very best time in life to get an experience like this is when one is young- your age. This happened to me, seemingly by accident at the time. And no, not in the war, I wasn't in the war. Just my friends.
Yes, I was picking on sje. He says he's atheist. That's a start, because in my experience, belief of any sort gets in the way of experience. Existentialism is pure inner experientialism. And the thing that happens is all the mental racket dies away. The way to cultivate having a shot at that is to discipline oneself to still that racket, to develop ultimate focus and one-pointedness.
So, in reality, to get a whiff of the existential experience, one must shut up. You attention has to totally cave in like a black hole. If one is focussed, one may get it, and I can tell you this much- it is freedom. The real deal. No drug experience can come close; although I cannot say I tried every one of them.
Rude of me? yes, absolutely. Again, I apologize, poor sje. A zen slap, and you responded like a normal human being. WTF, guy?
I thought I'd give you some time, clown around some with you, get you to laugh and see the inconsequentiality of it, maybe the zen would work through.
Which is fine. Whatever.
You're all amazingly bright young folks, and I enjoy your banter and wit tremendously. Many of you are way, way ahead of me in that respect, and I find it heartening.
I see some of you saying you're depressed, that saddens me. You're depressed by things you can't control and aren't responsible for, yet feel deeply about.
Things should not be that way, you should not have these clouds in your world, yet you are inheriting a world from my generation, a world that has alot of shitty, scary stuff.
If you could step out of what you think you are and experience the now, all that sadness goes away, never to return. Sometimes a well-timed slap can do that for a person. Sometimes, not.
Okay?
Actually, achilles, I may have been out of line, but you're out of line also.
Okay, before I go any further, let me proffer an apology in advance of what I'm going to say, to sje here for stomping on his sensibilities. That was rude. Big hugs for the kid too.
And to you and aperson. If you guys get my point somewhere down the line, the apology was not needed. But, if by pissing you off, I got you thinking about things, maybe you'll agree it was worth it. (I think Daedala gets it).
My rant was mainly an answer for Daedala's question. Maybe I'm being a douche, or maybe you and sje aren't getting the point I was making.
I did not say I was an expert on the movie, I said I hadn't seen it. I don't really intend to. But I do not see that plotline as being existentialist. This guy is not existentialist. What was that existentialist story by Sartre, the guy in prison- in Algiers- on the his last day of life? That's existentialism.
This guy becomes so focused in the reality that he's dying today, that he breaks through that bubble we were talking about. Everything shuts down, and he wakes up. His death is first the catalyst for this, then becomes inconsequential, as opposed to, say the death of David F. Wallace, which was an utter tragedy. Sartre's guy's death becomes inconsequential to him because he has transcended the life/death experience. This is a true thing.
In my view and experience, existentialism is the Western version of zen. Being here right now. Not tomorrow. Not dancing around concepts. Not having beliefs, opinions, views even.
There are a few things in life that get us focussed to that place. Our own Death can be one of those events, if we use it for that. The very best time in life to get an experience like this is when one is young- your age. This happened to me, seemingly by accident at the time. And no, not in the war, I wasn't in the war. Just my friends.
Yes, I was picking on sje. He says he's atheist. That's a start, because in my experience, belief of any sort gets in the way of experience. Existentialism is pure inner experientialism. And the thing that happens is all the mental racket dies away. The way to cultivate having a shot at that is to discipline oneself to still that racket, to develop ultimate focus and one-pointedness.
So, in reality, to get a whiff of the existential experience, one must shut up. You attention has to totally cave in like a black hole. If one is focussed, one may get it, and I can tell you this much- it is freedom. The real deal. No drug experience can come close; although I cannot say I tried every one of them.
Rude of me? yes, absolutely. Again, I apologize, poor sje. A zen slap, and you responded like a normal human being. WTF, guy?
I thought I'd give you some time, clown around some with you, get you to laugh and see the inconsequentiality of it, maybe the zen would work through.
Which is fine. Whatever.
You're all amazingly bright young folks, and I enjoy your banter and wit tremendously. Many of you are way, way ahead of me in that respect, and I find it heartening.
I see some of you saying you're depressed, that saddens me. You're depressed by things you can't control and aren't responsible for, yet feel deeply about.
Things should not be that way, you should not have these clouds in your world, yet you are inheriting a world from my generation, a world that has alot of shitty, scary stuff.
If you could step out of what you think you are and experience the now, all that sadness goes away, never to return. Sometimes a well-timed slap can do that for a person. Sometimes, not.
Okay?
sje46
+0 -0
I don't know how to feel about this. . ..Thanks, I guess.
I forgive you. I'm not mad at you anymore.
I don't know what you mean by experiencing the now. I don't see how that will make me happy.
=/
I don't know how to feel about this. . ..Thanks, I guess.
I forgive you. I'm not mad at you anymore.
I don't know what you mean by experiencing the now. I don't see how that will make me happy.
=/
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Quote:
I know. But give it some room in your head. Play with it as a concept first. Try this, when you
have some time and a quiet place-
Visualize Time as an infinite line of energy, for that is what it is. And your existence is exactly
dead-center on it, a pearl on a string between the infinite Past and the infinite Future. The
Now. This is where you have actually existed your entire life, but no one ever told you. But, thinking about it now, you realize you've always known it.
It may be scary at first for you are truly alone in the Universe.
And like, oh maybe it was Belgand who
was saying a few threads ago- nothing matters- disappear, let go of everything, and only your own awareness is all that remains.
That's existential. It is freedom.
Quote:
I don't know what you mean by experiencing the now. I don't see how that will make me happy.
I know. But give it some room in your head. Play with it as a concept first. Try this, when you
have some time and a quiet place-
Visualize Time as an infinite line of energy, for that is what it is. And your existence is exactly
dead-center on it, a pearl on a string between the infinite Past and the infinite Future. The
Now. This is where you have actually existed your entire life, but no one ever told you. But, thinking about it now, you realize you've always known it.
It may be scary at first for you are truly alone in the Universe.
And like, oh maybe it was Belgand who
was saying a few threads ago- nothing matters- disappear, let go of everything, and only your own awareness is all that remains.
That's existential. It is freedom.
daedala_x
+0 -0
that makes a shit-ton of sense. it really helps to imagine the affliction in positive rather than negative terms. like it's not some terrible experience they wish to escape (though it might be that too), but some terrible experience that made such a deep and irrevocable impression that perhaps they want to recapture. in this light, Taxi Driver makes a lot more sense.
give us time, Scorpio, we are young. do not be impatient and condescending. be wise where we are rash. be Socrates to our Thrasymachus. (note: i aspire to be a professor so that i may awaken and invigorate young minds everywhere for as long as i can think straight. and maybe take advantage of an eager male or female student here and there, shh don't tell anyone)
that makes a shit-ton of sense. it really helps to imagine the affliction in positive rather than negative terms. like it's not some terrible experience they wish to escape (though it might be that too), but some terrible experience that made such a deep and irrevocable impression that perhaps they want to recapture. in this light, Taxi Driver makes a lot more sense.
give us time, Scorpio, we are young. do not be impatient and condescending. be wise where we are rash. be Socrates to our Thrasymachus. (note: i aspire to be a professor so that i may awaken and invigorate young minds everywhere for as long as i can think straight. and maybe take advantage of an eager male or female student here and there, shh don't tell anyone)
sje46
+0 -0
DAEDALA IS BI!!!
DAEDALA IS BI!!!
sje46
+0 -0
(oops. sorry.)
(oops. sorry.)
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
{{{Hugs Daedala}}} You have a good mind and heart, Daedala.
{{{Hugs Daedala}}} You have a good mind and heart, Daedala.
sje46
+0 -0
Excuse me. All I did was say something and then I said that I don't really know what I am talking about. I did not even act like a know-it-all. What is your problem?
Jerk.
Excuse me. All I did was say something and then I said that I don't really know what I am talking about. I did not even act like a know-it-all. What is your problem?
Jerk.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -1
G'wan, now, Son. Shhhhhh..
notcool
+0 -0
I'm coming in at the end of this crazy babble to add my two cents.
Ultimately, either it all has meaning, or none of it has meaning.
I can't believe in a world, created such as this one is, that does not have ultimate meaning somewhere.
Zen, Existentialism...it can all be refuted the first time anybody takes an active hand in shaping the world around them. Sitting under the lotus tree is cashing out early.
I'm coming in at the end of this crazy babble to add my two cents.
Ultimately, either it all has meaning, or none of it has meaning.
I can't believe in a world, created such as this one is, that does not have ultimate meaning somewhere.
Zen, Existentialism...it can all be refuted the first time anybody takes an active hand in shaping the world around them. Sitting under the lotus tree is cashing out early.
aperson
+0 -0
I can't believe in a world, created such as this one is
...by gravity, time, and various other physical forces and processes you mean? Or are we talking FSM?
I can't believe in a world, created such as this one is
...by gravity, time, and various other physical forces and processes you mean? Or are we talking FSM?
notcool
+0 -0
Both, actually. One does not preclude the other, and in fact, the two are supposed to, at the best of times, compliment one another. The fact that there exists in too many people's minds a separation between one and the other is always something I've never understood...how can such unbelievable order arise out of nothing, without any kind of external Force acting upon it? How can you live in a world of miracles firing like the pistons of an engine, and not feel drawn towards Something? But too often the most vocal are those at the far poles of either spectrum, driving wedges of ignorance and condemnation into a symbiotic relationship that, for thousands of years, supported one another beautifully.
So, to answer your question briefly...Yes. Take it however you need to.
Both, actually. One does not preclude the other, and in fact, the two are supposed to, at the best of times, compliment one another. The fact that there exists in too many people's minds a separation between one and the other is always something I've never understood...how can such unbelievable order arise out of nothing, without any kind of external Force acting upon it? How can you live in a world of miracles firing like the pistons of an engine, and not feel drawn towards Something? But too often the most vocal are those at the far poles of either spectrum, driving wedges of ignorance and condemnation into a symbiotic relationship that, for thousands of years, supported one another beautifully.
So, to answer your question briefly...Yes. Take it however you need to.
stereo
+0 -0
How can you look at all that complexity and claim to have even the remotest fathom of how it happened?
That it exists is enough for me, I don't worry about questions with no answer.
How can you look at all that complexity and claim to have even the remotest fathom of how it happened?
That it exists is enough for me, I don't worry about questions with no answer.
notcool
+0 -0
Honestly, on one level you're right - That it exists, is enough. Also, others seem to agree with you. However, how can we think about where we're going if we don't look at where we've been? I don't believe that Science holds all the answers, or, more accurately, that Science can ever get to the end of the coil that it's trying to unravel, but we can learn quite a bit from it. And given the experiences in the past few centuries of great scientific ideas affecting society as a whole (as mishandled as they were), perhaps a greater depth and bredth of appreciation for the world around us would assist the world's cultures into a little bit better place.
Honestly, on one level you're right - That it exists, is enough. Also, others seem to agree with you. However, how can we think about where we're going if we don't look at where we've been? I don't believe that Science holds all the answers, or, more accurately, that Science can ever get to the end of the coil that it's trying to unravel, but we can learn quite a bit from it. And given the experiences in the past few centuries of great scientific ideas affecting society as a whole (as mishandled as they were), perhaps a greater depth and bredth of appreciation for the world around us would assist the world's cultures into a little bit better place.
aperson
+0 -0
Show me these miracles of which you speak and then we can move onto 'something' with a capital 'S', whatever that's supposed to mean.
Show me these miracles of which you speak and then we can move onto 'something' with a capital 'S', whatever that's supposed to mean.
notcool
+0 -0
Here we have a bit of a quandary. Namely, as C.S. Lewis pointed out (Have I mentioned that he's dreamy...?) if you're convinced there's no such thing as a miracle, then there's no way you're going to believe a miracle occurred. This goes for any supernatural phenomenon - although it seems to me that nowadays people are much more willing to see the paranormal than the divine in a situation. I have a simple definition for a miracle - something that Should Not Have Happened, but is also Good. I mean, demon posession is definately not normal, but I would hesitate to call in miraculous. Further, for your sake, I'll stick to "external" miracles, rather than the several that I've seen (and been involved in) that have no visible component...but left lives completely changed. Now, all that being said, miracles that I've been involved with, that I know off the top of my head...
- A woman who was almost blind in one of her eyes recieved full sight again.
- A young woman who had her gall bladder taken out had severe dietary restrictions. Bad Things happened when she strayed from them. She said that she felt healed while at a revival, and since then has been able to eat whatever she wanted. Last couple of times we had dinner together we made boiled dinner and split-pea soup. Very greasy. Very tasty.
- A man I know went to the doctor and found out he had a tumor under his shoulder "about the size of a shoebox". He eventually made a full recovery. Shortly after his surgery, he was driving past a field by his house, and saw a moose standing in the middle of it. So being the guy that he is, took his rifle and popped the moose. The gun he used he affectionately calls the "lazy man's hunting rifle". It was not a good thing to have braced against your shoulder right after major surgery in the general vicinity, but he didn't hurt himself. He'd been hunting that field for over ten years. It was the first time he saw a moose there, or even signs of a moose. Of course, he went back, many times, but never saw any signs of any more moose. So everybody thinks that the moose was just a little bit of icing.
- A friend of mine was arrested, and then afterwards became extremely involved in our church. His story inspired and helped many people, first in our church, then in a school for at-risk students where his particular story resonated with many of them. That started him to running a bible study and hang-out time for these kids so they have something to do that was positive and kept them on the right track. Meanwhile, he was still fighting his court battles, and it was going very poorly. A lawyer backing out mid-trial, misinformation and confusion causing him to look worse in the eyes of the court than he was, and setback after setback financially made it look like there was no hope for him. The very minimum sentence that he expected to get was eight years. He was found guilty of all counts. On the day of his sentencing, we were all praying for the best, but expecting the worst. He asked his friends and family to come to court with him, some to say a few words to sway the judge towards leniency, most to offer comfort and support. I could write for pages about the courtroom that day...in fact, I may yet...but at the end of it, I don't think there was anybody who wasn't affected. You could feel the Presence in the air. It was a beautiful, miraculous day...topped by a mere 90 day sentence instead of over a decade behind bars.
I know that looking at them with a cynical slant, these are all things that perhaps could be explained without bringing the divine into it. But after you've seen things that you can't unsee, you begin to get the "taste" for something more working around you. You do have to keep your eyes and your heart open for it, though.
At the end of the day, I'm not looking to convince you. All I can do is tell you my story, and the stories of the wonderful people God has put into my life. After that...well, if you knock, the door'll be opened.
(One of these days I'll write something short and to the point!)
Here we have a bit of a quandary. Namely, as C.S. Lewis pointed out (Have I mentioned that he's dreamy...?) if you're convinced there's no such thing as a miracle, then there's no way you're going to believe a miracle occurred. This goes for any supernatural phenomenon - although it seems to me that nowadays people are much more willing to see the paranormal than the divine in a situation. I have a simple definition for a miracle - something that Should Not Have Happened, but is also Good. I mean, demon posession is definately not normal, but I would hesitate to call in miraculous. Further, for your sake, I'll stick to "external" miracles, rather than the several that I've seen (and been involved in) that have no visible component...but left lives completely changed. Now, all that being said, miracles that I've been involved with, that I know off the top of my head...
- A woman who was almost blind in one of her eyes recieved full sight again.
- A young woman who had her gall bladder taken out had severe dietary restrictions. Bad Things happened when she strayed from them. She said that she felt healed while at a revival, and since then has been able to eat whatever she wanted. Last couple of times we had dinner together we made boiled dinner and split-pea soup. Very greasy. Very tasty.
- A man I know went to the doctor and found out he had a tumor under his shoulder "about the size of a shoebox". He eventually made a full recovery. Shortly after his surgery, he was driving past a field by his house, and saw a moose standing in the middle of it. So being the guy that he is, took his rifle and popped the moose. The gun he used he affectionately calls the "lazy man's hunting rifle". It was not a good thing to have braced against your shoulder right after major surgery in the general vicinity, but he didn't hurt himself. He'd been hunting that field for over ten years. It was the first time he saw a moose there, or even signs of a moose. Of course, he went back, many times, but never saw any signs of any more moose. So everybody thinks that the moose was just a little bit of icing.
- A friend of mine was arrested, and then afterwards became extremely involved in our church. His story inspired and helped many people, first in our church, then in a school for at-risk students where his particular story resonated with many of them. That started him to running a bible study and hang-out time for these kids so they have something to do that was positive and kept them on the right track. Meanwhile, he was still fighting his court battles, and it was going very poorly. A lawyer backing out mid-trial, misinformation and confusion causing him to look worse in the eyes of the court than he was, and setback after setback financially made it look like there was no hope for him. The very minimum sentence that he expected to get was eight years. He was found guilty of all counts. On the day of his sentencing, we were all praying for the best, but expecting the worst. He asked his friends and family to come to court with him, some to say a few words to sway the judge towards leniency, most to offer comfort and support. I could write for pages about the courtroom that day...in fact, I may yet...but at the end of it, I don't think there was anybody who wasn't affected. You could feel the Presence in the air. It was a beautiful, miraculous day...topped by a mere 90 day sentence instead of over a decade behind bars.
I know that looking at them with a cynical slant, these are all things that perhaps could be explained without bringing the divine into it. But after you've seen things that you can't unsee, you begin to get the "taste" for something more working around you. You do have to keep your eyes and your heart open for it, though.
At the end of the day, I'm not looking to convince you. All I can do is tell you my story, and the stories of the wonderful people God has put into my life. After that...well, if you knock, the door'll be opened.
(One of these days I'll write something short and to the point!)
belgand
+0 -0
Do they like it when you take them to the strip club and one of the ladies twirls her pasties at them?
Do they like it when you take them to the strip club and one of the ladies twirls her pasties at them?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I understand that you had to work a chuckle, but just to clarify, the terrible theater shows were her thing, and she would ask me to go with her.
I understand that you had to work a chuckle, but just to clarify, the terrible theater shows were her thing, and she would ask me to go with her.
aperson
+0 -0
I guessed as much.
...but she wanted you to say "Plays? Acting? No way, lady. Get yourself totally naked on that couch NOW".
I guessed as much.
...but she wanted you to say "Plays? Acting? No way, lady. Get yourself totally naked on that couch NOW".
aperson
+0 -0
Believe me, that always works.
Believe me, that always works.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Thank you for the subtitles, aperson. Now I understand his movie.
Thank you for the subtitles, aperson. Now I understand his movie.
zapatos
+0 -0
Quote:
Thank you for assuming it is wild.
The funny thing is, I hate it. I mean well maybe I don't because I keep doing it, but, it bothers me that I get sex so easily. I remember in high school it would be years between partners, but now... its like weeks if not days. I don't even try!
I actually do not try at all. I'm there just doing my own thing, leaving them alone, and then BAM I'm on my back and her head is in my crotch. Its fun at first, but the novelty fades.
The reason I bitch is because I cannot find a relationship. Yeah yeah, stop using women and you'll find someone blah blah blah. No. They use me, because they need to get laid and I put out. There are girls I like and I do not sleep with them, then they stop talking to me. So then there is a girl a like, I get the chance to sleep with her and do... then she stops talking to me. So I meet a girl I don't like, fuck her, and she keeps trying to talk to me.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROBLEMS.
Quote:
eventually some of these nice girls settle down with us once they are all worn out from their years of wild, consequence-free sex with guys like zapatos
Thank you for assuming it is wild.
The funny thing is, I hate it. I mean well maybe I don't because I keep doing it, but, it bothers me that I get sex so easily. I remember in high school it would be years between partners, but now... its like weeks if not days. I don't even try!
I actually do not try at all. I'm there just doing my own thing, leaving them alone, and then BAM I'm on my back and her head is in my crotch. Its fun at first, but the novelty fades.
The reason I bitch is because I cannot find a relationship. Yeah yeah, stop using women and you'll find someone blah blah blah. No. They use me, because they need to get laid and I put out. There are girls I like and I do not sleep with them, then they stop talking to me. So then there is a girl a like, I get the chance to sleep with her and do... then she stops talking to me. So I meet a girl I don't like, fuck her, and she keeps trying to talk to me.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROBLEMS.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
We are two sides of different coins, you and I.
We are two sides of different coins, you and I.
zapatos
+0 -0
In different currencies.
In different currencies.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Minted on cheapest presses in loneliest basements.
Minted on cheapest presses in loneliest basements.
zapatos
+0 -0
We are super badass, you shut your whore mouth.
We are super badass, you shut your whore mouth.
sje46
+0 -0
Shut up.ShutupshutupshutupICANTHEARYOUICANTHEARYOULALALALALALLALALALALALLA
Shut up.ShutupshutupshutupICANTHEARYOUICANTHEARYOULALALALALALLALALALALALLA
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Exactly.
Exactly.
rowboat
+0 -0
I see what you're saying, zappy. But the "I get too much pussy and nobody really loves me" angle probably isn't going to get you a ton of sympathy from most of the guys here. Dudes who're that hard up don't always understand that particular worry.
I see what you're saying, zappy. But the "I get too much pussy and nobody really loves me" angle probably isn't going to get you a ton of sympathy from most of the guys here. Dudes who're that hard up don't always understand that particular worry.
zapatos
+0 -0
But I do get too much pussy, and nobody really loves me. I'm not really after sympathy, just like to talk with everybody. Seems I'm on the opposite side of the discussion however.
Do you understand rowboat? Do you share in my predicament?
But I do get too much pussy, and nobody really loves me. I'm not really after sympathy, just like to talk with everybody. Seems I'm on the opposite side of the discussion however.
Do you understand rowboat? Do you share in my predicament?
sje46
+0 -0
Complain about not being in a real relationship, not about getting too much loving.
Complain about not being in a real relationship, not about getting too much loving.
zapatos
+0 -0
No, I will complain about getting too much sex. There is no loving involved here.
Maybe I will just not talk about it too much, I will try that option.
No, I will complain about getting too much sex. There is no loving involved here.
Maybe I will just not talk about it too much, I will try that option.
rowboat
+0 -0
I understand. I've been on both sides to varying degrees at different times. But I do not currently share your predicament. I live with my girlfriend, so I'm not really on either side of this situation. I'm in a good relationship in which the sex ebbs and flows. But I remember knowing guys like you when I was in the kind of place in which sje or achilles are in, and, if they're like I was, they won't want to hear about that sort of problem you're having.
I'm not trying to be adversarial. I think it seems like I'm coming across as slightly hostile. That is not my intention. You know you can say whatever you want. I know that your problem is an actual problem.
I understand. I've been on both sides to varying degrees at different times. But I do not currently share your predicament. I live with my girlfriend, so I'm not really on either side of this situation. I'm in a good relationship in which the sex ebbs and flows. But I remember knowing guys like you when I was in the kind of place in which sje or achilles are in, and, if they're like I was, they won't want to hear about that sort of problem you're having.
I'm not trying to be adversarial. I think it seems like I'm coming across as slightly hostile. That is not my intention. You know you can say whatever you want. I know that your problem is an actual problem.
zapatos
+0 -0
No, if anything I feel as though you'd be taking my side. Good job on living with your girlfriend, I am sure she's a rockin' hot chica who can fuck your mind pretty hard. I am jealous. Jealous of the situation, I don't actually know her.
I like you rowboat, we should get a pizza.
No, if anything I feel as though you'd be taking my side. Good job on living with your girlfriend, I am sure she's a rockin' hot chica who can fuck your mind pretty hard. I am jealous. Jealous of the situation, I don't actually know her.
I like you rowboat, we should get a pizza.
rowboat
+0 -0
Lemme get a hit off that cider and crown.
Lemme get a hit off that cider and crown.
zapatos
+0 -0
Man you know all you gotta do is ask
*pour*
you know I've got an extra glass
*share*
Man you know all you gotta do is ask
*pour*
you know I've got an extra glass
*share*
belgand
+0 -0
The problem is that people who have relationships often don't get very much sex and wish that they had tons and tons of varied and interesting sexual encounters. The relationship is nice, but not fulfilling in the same way.
The problem is that people who have relationships often don't get very much sex and wish that they had tons and tons of varied and interesting sexual encounters. The relationship is nice, but not fulfilling in the same way.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Maybe you should try saying no once in a while. Let your character develop.
Maybe you should try saying no once in a while. Let your character develop.
zapatos
+0 -0
It is an addiction, they have doctors for it and everything.
It is an addiction, they have doctors for it and everything.
history
+3 -0
Not an expert on this subject by any means, but if you guys don't mind I'll share my experience:
First, for all you cynical bastards out there, a disclaimer: I'm not 5'4 and 300 pounds, I don't have any physical deformity above or below the waistline, etc. So fuck you very much for thinking looks play into it. On with my tale:
When I was 24 (as elbow and tekende state they are) I felt the same way. I had no desire to manipulate women or situations to get laid under false pretenses. I boiled it down like this...my life, and my mind, were fucked up enough without adding the drama and layers of lies. I would not have been able to keep track anyway. I liked books and computers, neither of which was likely to introduce me to any new women. Online scenes were a barren wasteland of lies and hopes never fulfilled. I played soccer twice a week and met a few girls there, but that never went anywhere. So, when the .com boom went pop I was losing my job and sitting at home on my own depressed. Something had to change. Thought processes are different for everyone, but I just finally said fuck it, I'm doing what I want to do, no matter what the cultural conventions of common sense. I ended up selling everything I owned (not much) taking massive loans and going to grad school in Europe.
It shook up everything in my life, including exposing me to all kinds of different women...smart sexy women who knew what they wanted. Frankly, changing my life and doing the the things that made me happy made me more interesting and attractive person to spend time with, and my social life reflected that. I stopped being so cynical about other people for a little while and took social risks. Sure I was embarrassed from time to time, but my real friends didn't care so it didn't cost me anything. Money is just the biggest red herring. The girls who look at money first...fuck 'em. They aren't worth wasting time on. However, I found that, like there are many guys who just pretend to be macho for the guys, there are many girls who just pretend to be about money for their girlfriends.
Long story short, I took a risk and it paid off. It might work for you. You'd be amazed how change can seep into every aspect of your life.
Not an expert on this subject by any means, but if you guys don't mind I'll share my experience:
First, for all you cynical bastards out there, a disclaimer: I'm not 5'4 and 300 pounds, I don't have any physical deformity above or below the waistline, etc. So fuck you very much for thinking looks play into it. On with my tale:
When I was 24 (as elbow and tekende state they are) I felt the same way. I had no desire to manipulate women or situations to get laid under false pretenses. I boiled it down like this...my life, and my mind, were fucked up enough without adding the drama and layers of lies. I would not have been able to keep track anyway. I liked books and computers, neither of which was likely to introduce me to any new women. Online scenes were a barren wasteland of lies and hopes never fulfilled. I played soccer twice a week and met a few girls there, but that never went anywhere. So, when the .com boom went pop I was losing my job and sitting at home on my own depressed. Something had to change. Thought processes are different for everyone, but I just finally said fuck it, I'm doing what I want to do, no matter what the cultural conventions of common sense. I ended up selling everything I owned (not much) taking massive loans and going to grad school in Europe.
It shook up everything in my life, including exposing me to all kinds of different women...smart sexy women who knew what they wanted. Frankly, changing my life and doing the the things that made me happy made me more interesting and attractive person to spend time with, and my social life reflected that. I stopped being so cynical about other people for a little while and took social risks. Sure I was embarrassed from time to time, but my real friends didn't care so it didn't cost me anything. Money is just the biggest red herring. The girls who look at money first...fuck 'em. They aren't worth wasting time on. However, I found that, like there are many guys who just pretend to be macho for the guys, there are many girls who just pretend to be about money for their girlfriends.
Long story short, I took a risk and it paid off. It might work for you. You'd be amazed how change can seep into every aspect of your life.
belgand
+0 -0
What girls don't realize is that sex with geeky guys is better. We care. We do research. We realize that we need to make as good of an impression as possible and don't take it for granted at all.
What girls don't realize is that sex with geeky guys is better. We care. We do research. We realize that we need to make as good of an impression as possible and don't take it for granted at all.
daedala_x
+0 -1
i just realized, just like there's macho men and regular men, there's macho geeks and regular geeks. like macho geeks are all "do research? care? that's GAY. i'll do research and care about (some totally obscure video game reference). being sensitive to chicks is for newbs."
but the lady, realizing the geek is a geek, wants to make him feel confident and virile, so she pretends it's really good, and the geek is like "awesome, that totally worked, one less thing for me to worry about" and the lady resents this for a while and finally brings it up, and the geek gets angry and is all "well now i don't even wanna try cuz we already know you basically think i got no skills" so now he refuses to care or do research out of anger and embarrassment. it is basically a lose lose situation for the lady.
i just realized, just like there's macho men and regular men, there's macho geeks and regular geeks. like macho geeks are all "do research? care? that's GAY. i'll do research and care about (some totally obscure video game reference). being sensitive to chicks is for newbs."
but the lady, realizing the geek is a geek, wants to make him feel confident and virile, so she pretends it's really good, and the geek is like "awesome, that totally worked, one less thing for me to worry about" and the lady resents this for a while and finally brings it up, and the geek gets angry and is all "well now i don't even wanna try cuz we already know you basically think i got no skills" so now he refuses to care or do research out of anger and embarrassment. it is basically a lose lose situation for the lady.
belgand
+1 -0
Depends. Many times the geek's natural lack of self-confidence causes him to constantly worry that the lady is not enjoying herself and is always working to try and be better and better. The lady does not pretend, but the geek still worries that her response is perhaps not as strong as it ought to be. Is she really enjoying it enough?
If she ever were to express such effusive praise he would doubt the veracity of such statements and find it even more likely that she is just lying about his terrible sexing just to make him feel better. He is OK with being told that he sucks, but has trouble accepting that it might really be good. Either way he keeps trying to improve himself.
The anger and embarrassment seems entirely unexpected and odd to me.
There are totally macho geeks and they are scary and weird. They are basically half frat boy but obsessed with something other than sports, drinking, and sex with cheap skanks.
Depends. Many times the geek's natural lack of self-confidence causes him to constantly worry that the lady is not enjoying herself and is always working to try and be better and better. The lady does not pretend, but the geek still worries that her response is perhaps not as strong as it ought to be. Is she really enjoying it enough?
If she ever were to express such effusive praise he would doubt the veracity of such statements and find it even more likely that she is just lying about his terrible sexing just to make him feel better. He is OK with being told that he sucks, but has trouble accepting that it might really be good. Either way he keeps trying to improve himself.
The anger and embarrassment seems entirely unexpected and odd to me.
There are totally macho geeks and they are scary and weird. They are basically half frat boy but obsessed with something other than sports, drinking, and sex with cheap skanks.
zapatos
+0 -0
Do I have a chubby for this... Yes! Good.
Belgand I that guy, the one who doesn't believe the moans and the panting. Probably because I've had a few fakers and it is just stuck in my head. Were I with a lady and she gave me some constructive criticism afterwards... I would totally be happy.
I feel that maybe the ladies need to realize we're on a team, trying to defeat the elusive matched orgasm. Its like I am a tank and she is a healer, but we need a DD. Come on baby, look for those green question marks.
Dae, I am sensitive to girls who are emotionally stronger than me. This is most girls. You and I? Yes, let us go on this journey together.
Tekende, I don't know if you will see this. Hey man. Hi.
Do I have a chubby for this... Yes! Good.
Belgand I that guy, the one who doesn't believe the moans and the panting. Probably because I've had a few fakers and it is just stuck in my head. Were I with a lady and she gave me some constructive criticism afterwards... I would totally be happy.
I feel that maybe the ladies need to realize we're on a team, trying to defeat the elusive matched orgasm. Its like I am a tank and she is a healer, but we need a DD. Come on baby, look for those green question marks.
Dae, I am sensitive to girls who are emotionally stronger than me. This is most girls. You and I? Yes, let us go on this journey together.
Tekende, I don't know if you will see this. Hey man. Hi.
tekende
+0 -0
Hey.
Hey.
belgand
+0 -0
Wow, you get actual moans and panting? Must be nice. I have never been with anyone who was particularly vocal. I mean, yeah, I can tell she's enjoying herself, but in a quiet sort of way. Not frigid. Well, she's is frigid most of the time, but at least not during sex.
Most sex ends with a post-sex discussion of things that maybe could have gone better, areas for improvement, things that were really great. All the sorts of things that weren't a big deal at the time and mentioning them in any greater detail would have just ruined the mood. She gets tired, but I do not. She is also the one who never wants to go again.
I swear sometimes I really feel like the woman in this relationship. Not just because I enjoy shopping, care greatly about my hair, and stay home while she works either.
Wow, you get actual moans and panting? Must be nice. I have never been with anyone who was particularly vocal. I mean, yeah, I can tell she's enjoying herself, but in a quiet sort of way. Not frigid. Well, she's is frigid most of the time, but at least not during sex.
Most sex ends with a post-sex discussion of things that maybe could have gone better, areas for improvement, things that were really great. All the sorts of things that weren't a big deal at the time and mentioning them in any greater detail would have just ruined the mood. She gets tired, but I do not. She is also the one who never wants to go again.
I swear sometimes I really feel like the woman in this relationship. Not just because I enjoy shopping, care greatly about my hair, and stay home while she works either.
zapatos
+0 -0
The last paragraph gave me a nice chuckle. What an age we live in eh, what a wonderful glorious age.
The last paragraph gave me a nice chuckle. What an age we live in eh, what a wonderful glorious age.
belgand
+0 -0
She is not entirely happy about that last bit though. A shame too as I think I'd very much enjoy being a housewife. As long as I wasn't socially oppressed in that status and didn't have to take care of children (children are terrible).
I don't understand how some women make it out to be a big deal. Staying at home totally isn't. Then again, it depends heavily on your standards for cleaning. Then I could maybe see it taking a day or two of work every week. Otherwise, not so much.
She is not entirely happy about that last bit though. A shame too as I think I'd very much enjoy being a housewife. As long as I wasn't socially oppressed in that status and didn't have to take care of children (children are terrible).
I don't understand how some women make it out to be a big deal. Staying at home totally isn't. Then again, it depends heavily on your standards for cleaning. Then I could maybe see it taking a day or two of work every week. Otherwise, not so much.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This first half is basically me. I am the guy who thinks he sucks at sex, ask my girlfriend.
Zap, I have no sympathy for you as far as no one loving you unless you really are a sex addict then I do feel bad for you.
This first half is basically me. I am the guy who thinks he sucks at sex, ask my girlfriend.
Zap, I have no sympathy for you as far as no one loving you unless you really are a sex addict then I do feel bad for you.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I still wouldn't feel bad. I ask you, which is worse: being a cocaine addict who has enough money to buy all the cocaine he wants, or one who is broke so he has to look at pictures of cocaine on the internet?
...okay, that analogy kind of broke down, but bear with me.
I still wouldn't feel bad. I ask you, which is worse: being a cocaine addict who has enough money to buy all the cocaine he wants, or one who is broke so he has to look at pictures of cocaine on the internet?
...okay, that analogy kind of broke down, but bear with me.
zapatos
+0 -0
The one with money is worse, because he is not going to recover from his addiction. The poor one will not be having fun and will maybe get some help eventually, where the rich guy will just keep doing coke until he gets shot by the poor guy who needs to get high.
The one with money is worse, because he is not going to recover from his addiction. The poor one will not be having fun and will maybe get some help eventually, where the rich guy will just keep doing coke until he gets shot by the poor guy who needs to get high.
belgand
+0 -0
Unlike drugs or alcohol sex is at least moderately aerobic exercise and as long as you're practicing safe sex with undiseased people it's not hurting your body. I doubt it will also manage to consume that much money provided you're getting sex regularly and not having to pay for it.
Seems pretty good to me.
Having all the coke you want sounds like a quick way to end up with a really crippling habit and a possible overdose.
Unlike drugs or alcohol sex is at least moderately aerobic exercise and as long as you're practicing safe sex with undiseased people it's not hurting your body. I doubt it will also manage to consume that much money provided you're getting sex regularly and not having to pay for it.
Seems pretty good to me.
Having all the coke you want sounds like a quick way to end up with a really crippling habit and a possible overdose.
rowboat
+0 -0
According to a porno I bought a few years back, all geeks are just regular buff dudes, only with thick glasses. Those geeks fucked like jackhammers.
According to a porno I bought a few years back, all geeks are just regular buff dudes, only with thick glasses. Those geeks fucked like jackhammers.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Those geeks fucked like nerds .
Those geeks fucked like nerds .
mattylite
+0 -0
Those geeks fucked nerds.
Those geeks fucked nerds.
mattylite
+0 -0
I spent a lot of time thinking about the things that those geeks said.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the things that those geeks said.
rowboat
+0 -0
You know, I don't think I ever once had the sound on for it.
You know, I don't think I ever once had the sound on for it.
zapatos
+0 -0
theatre fags man, they are only acting.
theatre fags man, they are only acting.
redphillip
+0 -0
Zap, it's actually more common that the boys in gay porn are gay-for-pay. Your director can doubtless fill in this assertion with Science.
Zap, it's actually more common that the boys in gay porn are gay-for-pay. Your director can doubtless fill in this assertion with Science.
zapatos
+0 -0
When I say TheatreFags I do not actually mean gay men. I mean that 'merica looks down upon the more civilized pasttimes, and I was being facetious. Shit I don't know how to speel that.
Yes, gay for pay, I know it well. *wink*
When I say TheatreFags I do not actually mean gay men. I mean that 'merica looks down upon the more civilized pasttimes, and I was being facetious. Shit I don't know how to speel that.
Yes, gay for pay, I know it well. *wink*
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by eatmorekix, Belgand, Scorpio_nadir)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by eatmorekix, Belgand, Scorpio_nadir)
eatmorekix
+1 -0
whoa whoa whoa whoa WHAT
whoa whoa whoa whoa WHAT
eatmorekix
+1 -0
glad, you have just lost a fan. making purposefully inflammatory statements is one thing that is definitely worth laming.
glad, you have just lost a fan. making purposefully inflammatory statements is one thing that is definitely worth laming.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
sry dis should help
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It DOES help.
eatmorekix, you have to develop a thicker skin, since this is NOT the first time gladi8 made a comment about falseprophet being black.
It DOES help.
eatmorekix, you have to develop a thicker skin, since this is NOT the first time gladi8 made a comment about falseprophet being black.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
She needs to develop a thicker skin? How does that help? Although I am Old School & such, I am new here, and not down with 90% of what ya'll be down with.
So, tell me, oh ]theguitarhero how posting a link justify being a repeat- Dick?
She needs to develop a thicker skin? How does that help? Although I am Old School & such, I am new here, and not down with 90% of what ya'll be down with.
So, tell me, oh ]theguitarhero how posting a link justify being a repeat- Dick?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It was a joke...not what he said I was just saying jeezzzzzz.
It was a joke...not what he said I was just saying jeezzzzzz.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok what I was trying to say was that I was joking about glad's link "helping" and as far as the whole "maybe because he's black" thing...calm down obviously he isn't actually trying to be racist and if he was it's not like anyone would talk him seriously.
Ok what I was trying to say was that I was joking about glad's link "helping" and as far as the whole "maybe because he's black" thing...calm down obviously he isn't actually trying to be racist and if he was it's not like anyone would talk him seriously.
sje46
+0 -0
gladdi8orrex is kinda mean, and not in that nice way of being mean,m but more of the mean way of being mean.
gladdi8orrex is kinda mean, and not in that nice way of being mean,m but more of the mean way of being mean.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
but how do you people take him seriously?
Like as soon as I see that name I start loling.
but how do you people take him seriously?
Like as soon as I see that name I start loling.
sje46
+0 -1
Pretend you are a Judaistic man.
LOL JEWS ARE DUMB LOL IM GLAD HITLER KILLED THEM THEM ALL HOW MANY JEWS CAN YOU FIT IN A CAR 15 THREE IN THE BACK TWO IN THE FRONT AND TEN IN THE ASHTRAY LOL ASHES LIKE THOSE PEOPLE YOU KILLED IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER YEAH LOL I WAS DOWN AT THE SITE HUMPING THE CORPSES THAT JUMPED OUT THE WINDOWS LOL
Point: even a person not being serious at all can be incredibly offensive.
Pretend you are a Judaistic man.
LOL JEWS ARE DUMB LOL IM GLAD HITLER KILLED THEM THEM ALL HOW MANY JEWS CAN YOU FIT IN A CAR 15 THREE IN THE BACK TWO IN THE FRONT AND TEN IN THE ASHTRAY LOL ASHES LIKE THOSE PEOPLE YOU KILLED IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER YEAH LOL I WAS DOWN AT THE SITE HUMPING THE CORPSES THAT JUMPED OUT THE WINDOWS LOL
Point: even a person not being serious at all can be incredibly offensive.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah but nothing he has said has really been at that level yet... i don't think.
Has it?
Yeah but nothing he has said has really been at that level yet... i don't think.
Has it?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think the "yif in hell, furfag" comment someone made a while ago was WAY more offensive than anything gladi8 has said and yet we didn't draw and quarter the guy who said that.
I think the "yif in hell, furfag" comment someone made a while ago was WAY more offensive than anything gladi8 has said and yet we didn't draw and quarter the guy who said that.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well, yeah, I really don't think such things (racism, prejudice towards people who like to pretend they are animals) are worth responding to, because they're clearly just meant to get a rise out of people. The best way to stop such behavior is to ignore it.
Well, yeah, I really don't think such things (racism, prejudice towards people who like to pretend they are animals) are worth responding to, because they're clearly just meant to get a rise out of people. The best way to stop such behavior is to ignore it.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I mean, on assetbar. Of course if someone was saying stuff like that in the fleshly world using their voices you couldn't just ignore it.
I mean, on assetbar. Of course if someone was saying stuff like that in the fleshly world using their voices you couldn't just ignore it.
sje46
+0 -0
What is "yif"?
What is "yif"?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Sometimes, a mommy and daddy like to pretend like they are animals.
Sometimes, a mommy and daddy like to pretend like they are animals.
belgand
+0 -0
It's the "furfag" part that bothers me the most. Casual homophobia is a real problem.
It's the "furfag" part that bothers me the most. Casual homophobia is a real problem.
tekende
+0 -0
So a straight person using the word fag is, by definition and without exception, homophobia? That's a really stupid way to look at it, or much of anything, in my opinion.
So a straight person using the word fag is, by definition and without exception, homophobia? That's a really stupid way to look at it, or much of anything, in my opinion.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
It isn't so much the word itself, as it's use and inference. Calling someone a fag (in the context of "furfag" or "don't be such a fag") suggests that being a fag is something intrinsically bad, something that you should consider an insult as a non-homosexual.
Nothing is black and white, of course, and humor changes things around, but it is considered homophobic if used in a disparaging way, yeah.
In short, stop being such a tekende, sheesh!
It isn't so much the word itself, as it's use and inference. Calling someone a fag (in the context of "furfag" or "don't be such a fag") suggests that being a fag is something intrinsically bad, something that you should consider an insult as a non-homosexual.
Nothing is black and white, of course, and humor changes things around, but it is considered homophobic if used in a disparaging way, yeah.
In short, stop being such a tekende, sheesh!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
My take on it is this: you know how marginalized groups "reclaim" derogatory words to give them a positive connotation of pride or whatever? This is sort of a similar process, only instead of changing the connotation of the word, people change its referent. So while gay people are using 'fag' to still refer to 'gay', but in a totally awesome way, straight people are using it to still connote 'gross deviant' but to refer to furries instead of gay people. You can argue that one usage is more ethically acceptable than another, but I don't think any one group has a particular claim on language.
My take on it is this: you know how marginalized groups "reclaim" derogatory words to give them a positive connotation of pride or whatever? This is sort of a similar process, only instead of changing the connotation of the word, people change its referent. So while gay people are using 'fag' to still refer to 'gay', but in a totally awesome way, straight people are using it to still connote 'gross deviant' but to refer to furries instead of gay people. You can argue that one usage is more ethically acceptable than another, but I don't think any one group has a particular claim on language.
zapatos
+1 -0
Or the spectrum of light. Why do the faggots get the whole goddamn rainbow? I like some of those colors, can't we share?
God damn homosexuals, raping my grocery clerks and murdering Bill Clinton's gardeners.
Or the spectrum of light. Why do the faggots get the whole goddamn rainbow? I like some of those colors, can't we share?
God damn homosexuals, raping my grocery clerks and murdering Bill Clinton's gardeners.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
And touching penises in front of my spoon every morning while I'm trying to eat my cereal.
And touching penises in front of my spoon every morning while I'm trying to eat my cereal.
belgand
+0 -0
I've personally claimed ultraviolet for my exclusive personal use. Find your own damn spectrum.
I've personally claimed ultraviolet for my exclusive personal use. Find your own damn spectrum.
belgand
+0 -0
That's it exactly. That's what I meant by saying "casual homophobia". It's not direct, but it is fundamentally offensive to use it in a negative context. Like calling something "gay" because you dislike it for some reason.
If it's not a carefree exuberance, man-on-man love, or whatever crap that Madonna has most recently done it's not gay.
That's it exactly. That's what I meant by saying "casual homophobia". It's not direct, but it is fundamentally offensive to use it in a negative context. Like calling something "gay" because you dislike it for some reason.
If it's not a carefree exuberance, man-on-man love, or whatever crap that Madonna has most recently done it's not gay.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Yeah, I love all of my faggot friends. They can haz all the anal man-sex they want and it doesn't bother me. But I guess I'm homophobic.
Yeah, I love all of my faggot friends. They can haz all the anal man-sex they want and it doesn't bother me. But I guess I'm homophobic.
sje46
+0 -0
It's hard to tell with gladdi8orrex. For all we know, he could be saying wonderful things that just sound bad.
It's hard to tell with gladdi8orrex. For all we know, he could be saying wonderful things that just sound bad.
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
Do you not recall the "how do you stop a group of black guys from raping a white girl? Throw them a basketball" joke?
Quote:
Yeah but nothing he has said has really been at that level yet... i don't think.
Has it?
Has it?
Do you not recall the "how do you stop a group of black guys from raping a white girl? Throw them a basketball" joke?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I think the most offensive joke I ever heard was:
Q: What do you say to a black Jew?
A: Get in the back of the oven!
Note: I am allowed to tell half of this joke.
I think the most offensive joke I ever heard was:
Q: What do you say to a black Jew?
A: Get in the back of the oven!
Note: I am allowed to tell half of this joke.
sje46
+0 -0
What's the other half?
What's the other half?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh, I told all of it, but if someone took offense, I only have the right to defend half of it.
Oh, I told all of it, but if someone took offense, I only have the right to defend half of it.
sje46
+0 -0
What do you call a black man who is driving an airplane?
What do you call a black man who is driving an airplane?
stereo
+0 -0
Wait, I thought you piloted airplanes. Is this a trick question?
Wait, I thought you piloted airplanes. Is this a trick question?
sje46
+0 -0
Last I checked (the 1820s) you piloted ships. But I suppose you can pilot a plane as well.
Please answer my question.
Last I checked (the 1820s) you piloted ships. But I suppose you can pilot a plane as well.
Please answer my question.
stereo
+0 -0
Is he wearing a nametag? Cause usually I'd look at that.
Is he wearing a nametag? Cause usually I'd look at that.
sje46
+0 -0
Why did you have to ruin my joke.
Why.
Why did you have to ruin my joke.
Why.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A thief?
A thief?
sje46
+0 -0
NO, YOU CALL HIM THE PILOT!!! YOURE A RACIST LOL!!!
. .. this joke did not turn out so well.
NO, YOU CALL HIM THE PILOT!!! YOURE A RACIST LOL!!!
. .. this joke did not turn out so well.
aperson
+0 -0
The captain?
The captain?
zapatos
+0 -0
cuz ur blak?
cuz ur blak?
belgand
+0 -0
A friend of mine whose parents are Israeli and who lived for a time in Israel tells that joke. As does a friend of mine who was going to grad school for history specializing in holocaust studies.
A friend of mine whose parents are Israeli and who lived for a time in Israel tells that joke. As does a friend of mine who was going to grad school for history specializing in holocaust studies.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i ain't crying over this dude, it was just a huge unnecessary slam on black people from outta nowhere, and also personally directed towards falseprophet. all i did was proclaim that glad's comment hella sucked.
i ain't crying over this dude, it was just a huge unnecessary slam on black people from outta nowhere, and also personally directed towards falseprophet. all i did was proclaim that glad's comment hella sucked.
aperson
+0 -0
Normally glad writes mediocre poetry in a dumb spelling style that makes it more interesting, and now and again he makes racist comments that show him to be a fucking dick. It's just his thing. It's a tricky one - do you ignore dicks on the internet, or get in their face? Because the Internet is real life too, and will be increasingly so in the future. (you can take that to the bank)
Normally glad writes mediocre poetry in a dumb spelling style that makes it more interesting, and now and again he makes racist comments that show him to be a fucking dick. It's just his thing. It's a tricky one - do you ignore dicks on the internet, or get in their face? Because the Internet is real life too, and will be increasingly so in the future. (you can take that to the bank)
eatmorekix
+0 -0
well, i certainly wasn't going to try to argue with him. i mean, i think of trolls like glad the same way i think of the people who sent me spam: they don't actually exist, but are some sort of automated internet hiccup.
anyway, all i did was post the first thing that went through my head. perhaps i should install a better filter.
well, i certainly wasn't going to try to argue with him. i mean, i think of trolls like glad the same way i think of the people who sent me spam: they don't actually exist, but are some sort of automated internet hiccup.
anyway, all i did was post the first thing that went through my head. perhaps i should install a better filter.
aperson
+0 -0
I don't know what the right thing to do is - but I have no problem with people who don't simply take the ignore option.
Obligatory you.are.rad achewoodism yadda yadda.
I don't know what the right thing to do is - but I have no problem with people who don't simply take the ignore option.
Obligatory you.are.rad achewoodism yadda yadda.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i appreciate your support, and also your acknowledgement that the "internet is not real life!" argument isn't quite as valid anymore.
however, i do miss the kate winslet avataricons.
i appreciate your support, and also your acknowledgement that the "internet is not real life!" argument isn't quite as valid anymore.
however, i do miss the kate winslet avataricons.
aperson
+0 -0
Really? I may have to get old-school. Please hold, your opinion is important to us...
Really? I may have to get old-school. Please hold, your opinion is important to us...
stereo
+0 -0
I think I'm stuck at this point, I've made too many in-char-acter-as-the-god-damn-Bat-man comments to switch
I think I'm stuck at this point, I've made too many in-char-acter-as-the-god-damn-Bat-man comments to switch
zapatos
+0 -0
Word, its going to be funny when people keep talking about my half beard.
Word, its going to be funny when people keep talking about my half beard.
belgand
+0 -0
I would claim that his fundamental conceit and spelling is racist. The fact that it's also amazingly wrong and absolutely horrible is unrelated to this.
I would claim that his fundamental conceit and spelling is racist. The fact that it's also amazingly wrong and absolutely horrible is unrelated to this.
tekende
+0 -0
How do you know glad isn't black?
How do you know glad isn't black?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Glad is my homeboy!
Glad is my homeboy!
sje46
+0 -0
Black people can be racist against other blacks.
Black people can be racist against other blacks.
belgand
+0 -0
Doesn't matter. It's the perpetuation of a negative stereotype that black people have terrible grammar. Black people often perpetuate this themselves by using terrible grammar. It doesn't make it any better.
Doesn't matter. It's the perpetuation of a negative stereotype that black people have terrible grammar. Black people often perpetuate this themselves by using terrible grammar. It doesn't make it any better.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Whoa-whoa-whoa WHAT?!
Where did you get that glad's schtick is ENTIRELY poking fun at black people? I always thought it was making fun of people who use terrible grammar on the internet.
Whoa-whoa-whoa WHAT?!
Where did you get that glad's schtick is ENTIRELY poking fun at black people? I always thought it was making fun of people who use terrible grammar on the internet.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Whitewoman, we need you... to defend us less-fortunates!*
*Note that I don't particularly care for gladi8orrex's posts. He is a poor man's hitlerjesus.
Whitewoman, we need you... to defend us less-fortunates!*
*Note that I don't particularly care for gladi8orrex's posts. He is a poor man's hitlerjesus.
sje46
+0 -0
HitlerJesus.
HitlerJesus.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
wait, was this directed at me? what the fuck? why am i getting shit for telling someone who made a racist comment that that shit is lame? i wasn't doing that self-righteous bullshit thing so many privileged white people do, where i get offended on behalf of an entire minority i do not belong to. i wasn't even offended at all - because i know he was just being a dick on purpose- but being a dick on purpose is not something i can support.
tl; dr: only on the fucking internet...
wait, was this directed at me? what the fuck? why am i getting shit for telling someone who made a racist comment that that shit is lame? i wasn't doing that self-righteous bullshit thing so many privileged white people do, where i get offended on behalf of an entire minority i do not belong to. i wasn't even offended at all - because i know he was just being a dick on purpose- but being a dick on purpose is not something i can support.
tl; dr: only on the fucking internet...
sje46
+0 -0
I wrote tl;dr on my test for A Separate Peace.
I wrote tl;dr on my test for A Separate Peace.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dammit I should have used that for my tests on Atonement and The Guru Of Love in Contemporary Novel.
Seriously it was like, two bland books ( Lucy and Breath Eyes Memory ) followed by two badass books ( The Crying of Lot 49 and White Noise ) followed by two mediocre books ( Atonement and The Guru of Love ).
(The joke is that I really don't like anything that isn't post modern.)
Dammit I should have used that for my tests on Atonement and The Guru Of Love in Contemporary Novel.
Seriously it was like, two bland books ( Lucy and Breath Eyes Memory ) followed by two badass books ( The Crying of Lot 49 and White Noise ) followed by two mediocre books ( Atonement and The Guru of Love ).
(The joke is that I really don't like anything that isn't post modern.)
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i'm curious as to why you didn't like Atonement . i'm not a big cheerleader for the book or anything, i've just found that people have very different reactions to it.
i'm curious as to why you didn't like Atonement . i'm not a big cheerleader for the book or anything, i've just found that people have very different reactions to it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I would have liked it if I did read it. I think seeing the movie first kinda ruined it for me though.
I would have liked it if I did read it. I think seeing the movie first kinda ruined it for me though.
belgand
+0 -0
I wouldn't say it was too long (I don't really get the criticism most of the time), but it just plain sucked. Even worse the teacher wanted us to go all-out in finding tons of symbolism everywhere and I really don't think there was nearly as much as she wanted to find.
I wouldn't say it was too long (I don't really get the criticism most of the time), but it just plain sucked. Even worse the teacher wanted us to go all-out in finding tons of symbolism everywhere and I really don't think there was nearly as much as she wanted to find.
daedala_x
+0 -0
if girls ever make the sweeping generalization that black guys are gross, it's because of their persistent, not to mention indiscriminate, skeeziness and self-satisfied "smoothness", neither of which falseprophet is guilty of. in fact, falseprophet sounds pretty hot.
if girls ever make the sweeping generalization that black guys are gross, it's because of their persistent, not to mention indiscriminate, skeeziness and self-satisfied "smoothness", neither of which falseprophet is guilty of. in fact, falseprophet sounds pretty hot.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You really need to start inserting the word "some" when you post stuff like this.
You really need to start inserting the word "some" when you post stuff like this.
daedala_x
+0 -0
if girls ever make some sweeping generalization that black guys are gross?
if girls ever make the sweeping generalization that black guys are some gross?
geez, what's the problem, officer?
if girls ever make some sweeping generalization that black guys are gross?
if girls ever make the sweeping generalization that black guys are some gross?
geez, what's the problem, officer?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
if some girls ever make some sweeping generalization that some black guys are some gross?
if some girls ever make some sweeping generalization that some black guys are some gross?
wozzeck
+0 -0
Too late! Gulag!
Too late! Gulag!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well, the "their" part was not modified by a conditional, so you could be taken to mean that all black guys or black guys in general are indiscriminately skeezy. It's not that I think you mean that, it's just that I didn't wanna see another 10-page argument like the one about bi girls, which ends predictably and could be easily averted.
Well, the "their" part was not modified by a conditional, so you could be taken to mean that all black guys or black guys in general are indiscriminately skeezy. It's not that I think you mean that, it's just that I didn't wanna see another 10-page argument like the one about bi girls, which ends predictably and could be easily averted.
wozzeck
+0 -0
There was an argument about bisexual girls? How could this be, other than if the arguing pertained as to what was most wonderful about them?
There was an argument about bisexual girls? How could this be, other than if the arguing pertained as to what was most wonderful about them?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It was about sexism or some b.s. like that I FORGET.
It was about people who want to get attention.
It was about sexism or some b.s. like that I FORGET.
It was about people who want to get attention.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's because of some of their persistent, not to mention indiscriminate, skeezinesses!
There I fixed it!
It's because of some of their persistent, not to mention indiscriminate, skeezinesses!
There I fixed it!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
White guys creep girls out like this !
Black guys creep girls out like this !
White guys creep girls out like this !
Black guys creep girls out like this !
sje46
+0 -0
I know exactly how you feel but I feel it all the time.
I know exactly how you feel but I feel it all the time.
leshii
+1 -0
An older and a younger in a relationship works on only as many levels as a man and woman can. The experience conundrum does eventually rear its head, but by this point you will have hopefully used the situation to break ties with your family and hers, allowing both of you a peaceful death in your new life when you choose to end it in any way you see fit for the both of you.
An older and a younger in a relationship works on only as many levels as a man and woman can. The experience conundrum does eventually rear its head, but by this point you will have hopefully used the situation to break ties with your family and hers, allowing both of you a peaceful death in your new life when you choose to end it in any way you see fit for the both of you.
dangelder
+0 -0
Mom?
Mom?
wozzeck
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
funcrusherplus
+0 -0
Does anyone else find the Liquor Magazine panel horribly depressing?
Does anyone else find the Liquor Magazine panel horribly depressing?
genocidefish
+0 -0
I find it inspiring. I want to look through that list of ten fun liquor ideas, the old "bottle of wine followed by measured doses of real ale" routine is getting a bit stale.
I find it inspiring. I want to look through that list of ten fun liquor ideas, the old "bottle of wine followed by measured doses of real ale" routine is getting a bit stale.
meddle
+0 -0
Nah, I really enjoy the concept of liquor fiction.
Nah, I really enjoy the concept of liquor fiction.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I enjoyed that too, because it's a nice throw back to a lot of popular science fiction authors getting their starts writing short stories for Playboy.
At least, that's what I got from it.
I enjoyed that too, because it's a nice throw back to a lot of popular science fiction authors getting their starts writing short stories for Playboy.
At least, that's what I got from it.
stereo
+0 -0
Your spaceship... that I boned?
Your spaceship... that I boned?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Naw, mostly perfectly normal science fiction, as far as I know. But I've only read one Asimov story that he wrote for Playboy, so maybe I don't know
Naw, mostly perfectly normal science fiction, as far as I know. But I've only read one Asimov story that he wrote for Playboy, so maybe I don't know
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, I always get Playboy for the articles .... of clothing that the babes are not wearing!
Yes, I always get Playboy for the articles .... of clothing that the babes are not wearing!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Pretty much every author ever has posted something in Playboy, even Stephen King and Chuck Palahniuk (modern authors).
Pretty much every author ever has posted something in Playboy, even Stephen King and Chuck Palahniuk (modern authors).
belgand
+0 -0
At one time it was still respectable, but in the modern era not so much. If I could get a modern continuation of the classic, intelligent Playboy without the (honestly, usually quite dull and uninteresting) softcore nudity there is a good chance I would subscribe to it.
At one time it was still respectable, but in the modern era not so much. If I could get a modern continuation of the classic, intelligent Playboy without the (honestly, usually quite dull and uninteresting) softcore nudity there is a good chance I would subscribe to it.
sje46
+0 -0
Dull and uninteresting nudity.
Dull and uninteresting nudity.
wozzeck
+0 -0
The nudity therein was much more invigorating in the 70's and 80's.
The nudity therein was much more invigorating in the 70's and 80's.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
No.
Sorry.
No.
Sorry.
possums
+0 -0
I like these kaleidoscope strips.
I like these kaleidoscope strips.
theguitarhero
+2 -0
Then why are you crying?
Then why are you crying?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Such a burden, that aviconatard, and yet such a blessing.
Such a burden, that aviconatard, and yet such a blessing.
zapatos
+0 -0
never forget[/whisper]
never forget[/whisper]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
How could I forget...
How could I forget...
sje46
+0 -1
I FORGOT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO A FORGOTTEN LOL
I FORGOT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO A FORGOTTEN LOL
em2
+0 -0
SJE? This is the voice of your conscience man... uh, I just want to check one thing out with you...you don't mind, do ya?
SJE, dude, what's got into you?
SJE? This is the voice of your conscience man... uh, I just want to check one thing out with you...you don't mind, do ya?
SJE, dude, what's got into you?
sje46
+0 -0
I'm . . ..I'm sorry.
It's just I . .. I don't know.
*depressed sigh*
I'm . . ..I'm sorry.
It's just I . .. I don't know.
*depressed sigh*
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Sje, Assetbar Phillipe...and now... Suzy ...
Sje, Assetbar Phillipe...and now... Suzy ...
sje46
+0 -0
Who is Suzy?
Who is Suzy?
stereo
+0 -0
She's every woman's best friend and worst enemy, she has red flowing locks and she visits once a month...
She's every woman's best friend and worst enemy, she has red flowing locks and she visits once a month...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I prefer T.O.M.
I prefer T.O.M.
sje46
+0 -0
o it is not a dragon?
Quote:
[/urbandictionary]
o it is not a dragon?
Quote:
suzy the dragon 2 up, 1 down love ithate it
Dragon lover of Sean Connery. Phrase originated when Sean Connery impressions were used to say, "I fuck dragons!" and thus Suzy was born. After further joking, it came to be known that Chuck Norris is the product of Sean Connery and Suzy the dragon. (seriously, if Sean Connery fucked a dragon, what else would happen?)
Suzy has a myspace for those who need further evidence.
Sean Connery: Suzy, is that you?
Suzy the Dragon: RRAAAWR!!!
Sean Connery: Mmm, dragon pussy! It's like fucking a furnace!
Dragon lover of Sean Connery. Phrase originated when Sean Connery impressions were used to say, "I fuck dragons!" and thus Suzy was born. After further joking, it came to be known that Chuck Norris is the product of Sean Connery and Suzy the dragon. (seriously, if Sean Connery fucked a dragon, what else would happen?)
Suzy has a myspace for those who need further evidence.
Sean Connery: Suzy, is that you?
Suzy the Dragon: RRAAAWR!!!
Sean Connery: Mmm, dragon pussy! It's like fucking a furnace!
[/urbandictionary]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Suzy Creamcheese and now you are Suzy Creamcheese.
Suzy Creamcheese and now you are Suzy Creamcheese.
zapatos
+0 -0
What Alamo?
What Alamo?
seikel
+0 -0
ray likes modern drunkard.
ray likes modern drunkard.
belgand
+0 -0
I was not aware that that many other people were even aware that it existed. I considered getting a friend a flask and a subscription one year for some sort of gift-giving holiday.
I was not aware that that many other people were even aware that it existed. I considered getting a friend a flask and a subscription one year for some sort of gift-giving holiday.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
tries 2 figger out wat tipe uf werds/sintance/qustion i oss replayin' 2 wins wat i sed woz dis-da follomn
"da fux? i kills da firs gusy who tries dat on me id c rite tru dat shit, fuk.*"
tries 2 quess wat is respind 2 (dis is reel)
*extra curses so 2 b easier 2 read
tries 2 figger out wat tipe uf werds/sintance/qustion i oss replayin' 2 wins wat i sed woz dis-da follomn
"da fux? i kills da firs gusy who tries dat on me id c rite tru dat shit, fuk.*"
tries 2 quess wat is respind 2 (dis is reel)
*extra curses so 2 b easier 2 read
khailautomatic
+4 -0
Despite the fact that it's deliberately set up in little vignettes, this strip still seems like it's retreading on too many things at once, especially after such a long hiatus, and as a result, comes off as stale. It features erudite references to relatively obscure performers (as opposed to the ebonics-influenced "Web 2.0"-heavy palaver about overexposed celebrities in recent strips , an analogy that betrays the mental state of its speaker , more of the same writer's trick, and Ray's questionable taste in periodicals. Of late, where has the anything-goes originality that made this comic great in the first place gone?
Despite the fact that it's deliberately set up in little vignettes, this strip still seems like it's retreading on too many things at once, especially after such a long hiatus, and as a result, comes off as stale. It features erudite references to relatively obscure performers (as opposed to the ebonics-influenced "Web 2.0"-heavy palaver about overexposed celebrities in recent strips , an analogy that betrays the mental state of its speaker , more of the same writer's trick, and Ray's questionable taste in periodicals. Of late, where has the anything-goes originality that made this comic great in the first place gone?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LOL WHUT?
LOL WHUT?
khailautomatic
+0 -0
After rereading the above and tsk-tsking my own incomplete bracket (manual bbcode tends to make me forget where I am in a sentence), the thought came to mind that maybe I was letting nostalgia for "the better strips of yore" cloud my judgment of both them and the more recent postings. For science, I clicked on the random comic button, and got this . The next couple of strips chronologically are all completely different but equally entertaining, except maybe the map of Achewood, which serves as effective world-building. This stream of excellent stand-alone strips continues until the Two Thousand Flushes party , which deals with as many distinctive personalities as the latest posted strips do, except (in my opinion, at least) funnier.
If the next book project is indeed a reprint of the first year with added material tossed in here and there, and provided that the next bunch of strips are either going to be days apart or otherwise like the ones we've seen recently, then maybe Achewood has in fact passed its prime.
Of course, I'd love to be proven wrong.
After rereading the above and tsk-tsking my own incomplete bracket (manual bbcode tends to make me forget where I am in a sentence), the thought came to mind that maybe I was letting nostalgia for "the better strips of yore" cloud my judgment of both them and the more recent postings. For science, I clicked on the random comic button, and got this . The next couple of strips chronologically are all completely different but equally entertaining, except maybe the map of Achewood, which serves as effective world-building. This stream of excellent stand-alone strips continues until the Two Thousand Flushes party , which deals with as many distinctive personalities as the latest posted strips do, except (in my opinion, at least) funnier.
If the next book project is indeed a reprint of the first year with added material tossed in here and there, and provided that the next bunch of strips are either going to be days apart or otherwise like the ones we've seen recently, then maybe Achewood has in fact passed its prime.
Of course, I'd love to be proven wrong.
niggar
+1 -1
Achewood has lost its place in my bookmarks today.
Achewood has lost its place in my bookmarks today.
achewood
+1 -0
for real. shut this shit DOWN.
for real. shut this shit DOWN.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh man Achewood don't doooo itttt.
Oh man Achewood don't doooo itttt.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I really, really hope that Achewood isn't becoming "Family Guy Lite". The previous strip gave me a little glimmer of desperate hope...
...which is cruelly being dashed.
I really, really hope that Achewood isn't becoming "Family Guy Lite". The previous strip gave me a little glimmer of desperate hope...
...which is cruelly being dashed.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
lol whut?!
lol whut?!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Obvious trolls are obvious.
/internet
Obvious trolls are obvious.
/internet
sje46
+0 -0
THERE IS NO H IN LOL WUT!!!!
(is there?)
THERE IS NO H IN LOL WUT!!!!
(is there?)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Look at Connie's neat little puppet legs dangling off that somewhat oddly constructed chair.
Look at Connie's neat little puppet legs dangling off that somewhat oddly constructed chair.
zapatos
+1 -0
Usually I give the strips 3's.
Sometimes I give them 4's.
But on occasions like this,
When the comic is piss,
I stand up and say, "A two for this whore!"
Usually I give the strips 3's.
Sometimes I give them 4's.
But on occasions like this,
When the comic is piss,
I stand up and say, "A two for this whore!"
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I am probably one of the harshest raters of the regular posters, but I gave this a three just because of Roast Beef's part. Everything else is garbage.
I am probably one of the harshest raters of the regular posters, but I gave this a three just because of Roast Beef's part. Everything else is garbage.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I usually only rate when i feel it's worthy of a 5.
I usually only rate when i feel it's worthy of a 5.
belgand
+0 -0
That will skew the ratings though.
That will skew the ratings though.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
well what i was saying though was that I only rate strips that are good, and only if I think that they are 5-strips.
does that make sense? IDK ANYMORE!!!
well what i was saying though was that I only rate strips that are good, and only if I think that they are 5-strips.
does that make sense? IDK ANYMORE!!!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also, your lame allotment increases with the amount of strips you rate.
Also, your lame allotment increases with the amount of strips you rate.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well I don't lame anything really...
Well I don't lame anything really...
sje46
+0 -0
I don't even give many chubs or lames anymore.
I don't even give many chubs or lames anymore.
zapatos
+0 -0
This is why my nights are cold, and soul aches.
This is why my nights are cold, and soul aches.
stereo
+1 -0
Is that a thing in America? Giving little cats hot beans and shooting them in the chest? Cause his analogy is not really making sense to me.
Is that a thing in America? Giving little cats hot beans and shooting them in the chest? Cause his analogy is not really making sense to me.
belgand
+0 -0
That is totally a thing. We all do it in the period just before lunch in primary school. Ideally you shoot the cat in the chest after giving him the beans or legislated meat.
That is totally a thing. We all do it in the period just before lunch in primary school. Ideally you shoot the cat in the chest after giving him the beans or legislated meat.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Dayum, Hella Tough-Love
Dayum, Hella Tough-Love
zapatos
+0 -0
It is love howerver, I even took time to rhyme in my poem. Usually they are contrived of simple thoughts.
For I have simple thoughts, as I am of low mind.
It is love howerver, I even took time to rhyme in my poem. Usually they are contrived of simple thoughts.
For I have simple thoughts, as I am of low mind.
wolfensti
+0 -0
i would like to say hi to all of you, being a newbie here and all.
i would like to say hi to all of you, being a newbie here and all.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hi.
Hi.
sje46
+0 -0
HAI MY NAME IS SEAN TELL ME WHAT YOURE LIKE ARE U A BOY OR GURL?!?!??!
HAI MY NAME IS SEAN TELL ME WHAT YOURE LIKE ARE U A BOY OR GURL?!?!??!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
A/S/L PLZ!!!
A/S/L PLZ!!!
wolfensti
+2 -0
20/ all the time/ on the kitchen floor.
20/ all the time/ on the kitchen floor.
wolfensti
+0 -0
hell, i hate myself
hell, i hate myself
aperson
+0 -0
Masturbating under the kitchen table'll do that to ya.
Masturbating under the kitchen table'll do that to ya.
snidedk
+0 -0
Do you have a miniature giant space hamster? I've always wanted one of those.
Do you have a miniature giant space hamster? I've always wanted one of those.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
YES!
YES!
wolfensti
+0 -0
Me and Boo go as one, packing steel and ready to apply a butt kicking for goodness !
Me and Boo go as one, packing steel and ready to apply a butt kicking for goodness !
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I feel like, after the free-association post fests of the past two comics, no one wants to talk anymore.
which sucks because i miss you guys.
I feel like, after the free-association post fests of the past two comics, no one wants to talk anymore.
which sucks because i miss you guys.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I can't seem to think of anything relevant or amusing to say most of the time, these days. Nothing to do with you guys, though.
I can't seem to think of anything relevant or amusing to say most of the time, these days. Nothing to do with you guys, though.
sje46
+0 -0
Just say whatever comes to mind.
Just say whatever comes to mind.
sje46
+1 -0
If it wasn't for that horse I would never have gotten into college.
If it wasn't for that horse I would never have gotten into college.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Penis!
Oh crap...
Penis!
Oh crap...
sje46
+0 -0
Oh hee hee.
Got something on your mind?
Coprophiliac.
Oh hee hee.
Got something on your mind?
Coprophiliac.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I just made a pretty badass risotto.
I just made a pretty badass risotto.
jaldor
+0 -0
I don't know why but Pete's habit of tapping a pen or pencil on his lower lip when he is thinking makes me laugh every time.
I don't know why but Pete's habit of tapping a pen or pencil on his lower lip when he is thinking makes me laugh every time.
stereo
+0 -0
Well, if you were a Japanese bolt gun, what would you think about a halibut toe? It bears pondering.
Well, if you were a Japanese bolt gun, what would you think about a halibut toe? It bears pondering.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You would not laugh at home at Pete
Or in a booth. You'd be discreet.
Or in his van- you'd be his friend.
Or he would win, you'd lose, the End.
You would not laugh at home at Pete
Or in a booth. You'd be discreet.
Or in his van- you'd be his friend.
Or he would win, you'd lose, the End.
autrepoupee
+3 -0
so, I am usually one to be like "hey how much can you really talk about a strip, of course it is going to go off-topic, assetbar is just alright with me, assetbar is just alright", right?
Seriously though, if I read one more 'MY GIRLFRIEND' or 'why don't I have a MY GIRLFRIEND anymore/ever' I am officially going to just start copying and pasting randomly selected LiveJournal entries in response to them.
It's getting way too hugbox'd in here, take it to a blog.
so, I am usually one to be like "hey how much can you really talk about a strip, of course it is going to go off-topic, assetbar is just alright with me, assetbar is just alright", right?
Seriously though, if I read one more 'MY GIRLFRIEND' or 'why don't I have a MY GIRLFRIEND anymore/ever' I am officially going to just start copying and pasting randomly selected LiveJournal entries in response to them.
It's getting way too hugbox'd in here, take it to a blog.
sje46
+0 -0
Well, sorrrrrrrrrryyyyy .
Well, sorrrrrrrrrryyyyy .
sje46
+0 -0
I mean, don't blame a man for having worries and complaining about them to his anonymous internet buddies. I mean, if you don't give a man that, then a man has basically nothing.
I mean, don't blame a man for having worries and complaining about them to his anonymous internet buddies. I mean, if you don't give a man that, then a man has basically nothing.
sje46
+0 -0
Or at least, a man completely helpless and girlfriendless as I.
:(
(PLEASE DATE ME)
Or at least, a man completely helpless and girlfriendless as I.
:(
(PLEASE DATE ME)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Not with you gassing up the joint like that!
Not with you gassing up the joint like that!
zapatos
+0 -0
Seriously man, exercise some self restraint.
Seriously man, exercise some self restraint.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
autrepoupee will you be my girlfriend if not i will talk about it on here
autrepoupee will you be my girlfriend if not i will talk about it on here
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Man I have been so depressed lately because MY GIRLFRIEND left me last week. Why do I not have MY GIRLFRIEND anymore? I wish I could have MY GIRLFRIEND...
MY GIRLFRIEND.
Man I have been so depressed lately because MY GIRLFRIEND left me last week. Why do I not have MY GIRLFRIEND anymore? I wish I could have MY GIRLFRIEND...
MY GIRLFRIEND.
sje46
+0 -0
Your girlfriend is hot.
Your girlfriend is hot.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:0
:0
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Maybe a dingo ate YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
Maybe a dingo ate YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
MY GIRLFRIEND?
MY GIRLFRIEND?
stereo
+0 -0
It's more likely than you'd think.
It's more likely than you'd think.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
sje46
+0 -0
OH NOEZ!
OH NOEZ!
zapatos
+0 -0
Onyxly, I baryly care about your problems.
Onyxly, I baryly care about your problems.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
We get it we get it, you are a sex fiend.
We get it we get it, you are a sex fiend.
zapatos
+0 -0
I'm actually a virgin.
I'm actually a virgin.
rowboat
+0 -0
And sje is Wilt Chamberlain.
And sje is Wilt Chamberlain.
belgand
+0 -0
Rasputin had a massive unit. He also got mad rutty all the time.
Rasputin had a massive unit. He also got mad rutty all the time.
sje46
+0 -0
Are you calling me short, or a bad basketball player? I could be tall, for all you know, and an excellent athlete.
(I'm not, though)
Are you calling me short, or a bad basketball player? I could be tall, for all you know, and an excellent athlete.
(I'm not, though)
rowboat
+0 -0
Are you pulling me into one of your "I'm five!" traps here, sje? I think you are, but I'll fall for it 'cause I'm a bit spry on the Stag. I'll go ahead and ruin the joke.
Zapatos said he was a virgin. From what we hear this isn't true. On the other hand, from what we hear you are a virgin, but in this topsy-turvy joke world I am likening you to perhaps the most famously non-virginal celebrity of the 20th century.
Trust me, it was fucking HILARIOUS!
Are you pulling me into one of your "I'm five!" traps here, sje? I think you are, but I'll fall for it 'cause I'm a bit spry on the Stag. I'll go ahead and ruin the joke.
Zapatos said he was a virgin. From what we hear this isn't true. On the other hand, from what we hear you are a virgin, but in this topsy-turvy joke world I am likening you to perhaps the most famously non-virginal celebrity of the 20th century.
Trust me, it was fucking HILARIOUS!
sje46
+0 -0
Oh. I did not know Wilt Chamberlain was not a virgin. Honestly, I'm not into Pokemon.
Oh. I did not know Wilt Chamberlain was not a virgin. Honestly, I'm not into Pokemon.
sje46
+0 -0
That's right. You deserve that xkcd reference for making me feel bad that I didn't get that joke.
That's right. You deserve that xkcd reference for making me feel bad that I didn't get that joke.
zapatos
+0 -0
shoes =/= electric bird monster
shoes =/= electric bird monster
sje46
+0 -0
wilt chamberlain=/=shoes.
I thought Wilt Chamberlain= famous basketball player.
Unless we wear Air Chamberlains. Do we?
I don't know much about fashion.
wilt chamberlain=/=shoes.
I thought Wilt Chamberlain= famous basketball player.
Unless we wear Air Chamberlains. Do we?
I don't know much about fashion.
belgand
+0 -0
Air Chamberlains are not very good as you tend to end up conceding almost every game you play.
Air Chamberlains are not very good as you tend to end up conceding almost every game you play.
falseprophet
+0 -0
autrepoupee it is okay You do not have to be a Reverse Homophobe here If you have a problem with your MY BOYFRIEND or lack of MY BOYFRIEND you can tell us We are all friends here.
autrepoupee it is okay You do not have to be a Reverse Homophobe here If you have a problem with your MY BOYFRIEND or lack of MY BOYFRIEND you can tell us We are all friends here.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
except, if the little profile box is right, autopoopy is a Female.
except, if the little profile box is right, autopoopy is a Female.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I know she's a girl. I guess I did not do a good enough job of providing context so that you would know what a Reverse Homophobe is. It is kind of like being a Heterophobe but you don't have to be a gay person to be one. It's just a few inches to the side.
I know she's a girl. I guess I did not do a good enough job of providing context so that you would know what a Reverse Homophobe is. It is kind of like being a Heterophobe but you don't have to be a gay person to be one. It's just a few inches to the side.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
it is true i come to assetbar to escape the crippling pain of being alone and then I get constant reminders here even that I don't even have the experiences of failed relationships anymore SOOOOOO ;___(
it is true i come to assetbar to escape the crippling pain of being alone and then I get constant reminders here even that I don't even have the experiences of failed relationships anymore SOOOOOO ;___(
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Don't cry! I'll be your fake internet boyfriend!
(I just hope MY GIRLFRIEND is ok with that...)
Don't cry! I'll be your fake internet boyfriend!
(I just hope MY GIRLFRIEND is ok with that...)
stereo
+1 -0
Don't worry,MY YOUR GIRLFRIEND is very open in her relationships
Don't worry,
sje46
+0 -0
I won't be your boyfriend but I will be a friend who is a boy.
You should IM me and then we can talk and stuff. It'll be cool.
I won't be your boyfriend but I will be a friend who is a boy.
You should IM me and then we can talk and stuff. It'll be cool.
aperson
+0 -0
lol
lol
sje46
+0 -0
I am being serious. This is the only place where I know people but I still don't have any Facebook friends/ AIM/MSN buddies.
I am being serious. This is the only place where I know people but I still don't have any Facebook friends/ AIM/MSN buddies.
aperson
+0 -0
Yeah, that's why it's so funny.
Yeah, that's why it's so funny.
aperson
+0 -0
What's your facebook page, then?
What's your facebook page, then?
sje46
+0 -0
Now. . .now I'm embarased.
Maybe I'll give out my IM. Maybe. One of these days.
(It contains my last name, so I don't know . . .)
Now. . .now I'm embarased.
Maybe I'll give out my IM. Maybe. One of these days.
(It contains my last name, so I don't know . . .)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The fact that sje complains of this while having no links in his profile reminds me of an old Jewish joke. This guy prays to God every day, saying "please God let me win the lottery, please God let me win the lottery." This goes on for a year until finally God speaks to him in an annoyed voice and says, "alright already, I'll let you win, but could you at least buy the damn lottery ticket?"
The fact that sje complains of this while having no links in his profile reminds me of an old Jewish joke. This guy prays to God every day, saying "please God let me win the lottery, please God let me win the lottery." This goes on for a year until finally God speaks to him in an annoyed voice and says, "alright already, I'll let you win, but could you at least buy the damn lottery ticket?"
stereo
+0 -0
Wow, homeboy knows how to save money. Don't buy tickets until God promises he will win.
Wow, homeboy knows how to save money. Don't buy tickets until God promises he will win.
stereo
+0 -0
Ok, either replace "don't" with "doesn't", or "he" with "you". My bad.
Ok, either replace "don't" with "doesn't", or "he" with "you". My bad.
belgand
+0 -0
I'd say there is probably a greater chance of being told by god that you'll win than winning simply by buying a ticket.
I'd say there is probably a greater chance of being told by god that you'll win than winning simply by buying a ticket.
zapatos
+0 -0
You know really, fuckin... I wasn't kidding those past four times I've asked to be your friend.
Jerk.
You know really, fuckin... I wasn't kidding those past four times I've asked to be your friend.
Jerk.
aperson
+0 -0
Aw hell now sje's gonna get bummed cos he's lonely.
Aw hell now sje's gonna get bummed cos he's lonely.
sje46
+0 -0
I NEED FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL HATE ME.
*bawls*
I NEED FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL HATE ME.
*bawls*
zapatos
+0 -0
I don't hate you, facebook me dude.
Let's be friends.
I don't hate you, facebook me dude.
Let's be friends.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
It turns out zapatos is Nolan...from the internet.
It turns out zapatos is Nolan...from the internet.
zapatos
+2 -0
youshutuprightnowi'msoclose
youshutuprightnowi'msoclose
theguitarhero
+0 -0
GUYS. GUYS. FACEBOOK FRIEND ME.
GUYS. GUYS. FACEBOOK FRIEND ME.
sje46
+0 -0
I'll post my screenname.
I refuse the facebook thing because it has pictures of me, and, well, I am just so attractive that you will be transfixed to your monitor just like Narcissus. And I'm too much of a pal to do that to you.
I'll post my screenname.
I refuse the facebook thing because it has pictures of me, and, well, I am just so attractive that you will be transfixed to your monitor just like Narcissus. And I'm too much of a pal to do that to you.
zapatos
+0 -0
that or we'll just hunt you and down and love you.
that or we'll just hunt you and down and love you.
redphillip
+0 -0
sje, if you're not afraid I may show up at your dorm with my steamer trunk of teaching materials, you can find me on AIM any time you like. In that world I go by PhilliptheRed. (Obviously, since I'm posting this in such a public way, other Acheworlders are also welcome, if they are inclined.)
sje, if you're not afraid I may show up at your dorm with my steamer trunk of teaching materials, you can find me on AIM any time you like. In that world I go by PhilliptheRed. (Obviously, since I'm posting this in such a public way, other Acheworlders are also welcome, if they are inclined.)
zapatos
+0 -0
where do you live, we can have a failed relationship.
where do you live, we can have a failed relationship.
pogo
+0 -0
My girlfriend's say you should chill.
My girlfriend's say you should chill.
sje46
+0 -0
Are you trying to infuriate Connie?
Are you trying to infuriate Connie?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is she really?
Is she really?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I agree. I'm basically like, "My god! I'll go out with you if it'll shut you up for five minutes!"
I agree. I'm basically like, "My god! I'll go out with you if it'll shut you up for five minutes!"
zapatos
+0 -0
I would take her out, as long as she was talking. Because that is too awkward when noone says anything.
I would take her out, as long as she was talking. Because that is too awkward when noone says anything.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Aw, come on. We're all supposed to be friends here, no? I hope so. And if you can't talk about your problems with invisible internet people, who can you talk to? I don't mind people helping each other out and talking stuff out. I think it's nice that random people can come here and not be judged (unless they break the number 1 rule of Assetbar: No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever). But I dunno. I feel like some of the warm fuzzies here have been replaced with the cold pricklies lately.
Plus, not every conversation can be "Reference!" "Reference?" "Reference, reference. Reference!"
I don't know. The last thing I wan to do is be the "OMG assetbar jumped the shark!!1!one1eleven!" guy, but... I dunno. Lame me if you want, if you think I'm being a downer or whatever. But is anyone else feeling it, or is it just me?
Aw, come on. We're all supposed to be friends here, no? I hope so. And if you can't talk about your problems with invisible internet people, who can you talk to? I don't mind people helping each other out and talking stuff out. I think it's nice that random people can come here and not be judged (unless they break the number 1 rule of Assetbar: No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever). But I dunno. I feel like some of the warm fuzzies here have been replaced with the cold pricklies lately.
Plus, not every conversation can be "Reference!" "Reference?" "Reference, reference. Reference!"
I don't know. The last thing I wan to do is be the "OMG assetbar jumped the shark!!1!one1eleven!" guy, but... I dunno. Lame me if you want, if you think I'm being a downer or whatever. But is anyone else feeling it, or is it just me?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Well, I don't think every post should be a series of acceptably alternative references or anything; but a balance of maybe some original humorous content, strip commentary, the references, and even the occasional clever anecdote that can somehow be connected (however tenuously) to the strip.
I just noticed the last few strips, a trend towards just complaining about your life. Maybe I just can't relate; I'm a Ray or a Pat, and not at all a Roast Beef, after all.
As for prickly pears, maybe there ought to be another handfaceoff, because that is when everyone was lovin on each other like some twins
Well, I don't think every post should be a series of acceptably alternative references or anything; but a balance of maybe some original humorous content, strip commentary, the references, and even the occasional clever anecdote that can somehow be connected (however tenuously) to the strip.
I just noticed the last few strips, a trend towards just complaining about your life. Maybe I just can't relate; I'm a Ray or a Pat, and not at all a Roast Beef, after all.
As for prickly pears, maybe there ought to be another handfaceoff, because that is when everyone was lovin on each other like some twins
baryonyx
+0 -0
I'm with you on this. I've had my fill of dating advice columns recently. When was the last time anyone did something with Photoshop?
I feel my time on Assetbar is waning. Pretty much everyone from when I started on here has been gradually replaced by new posters. Well, at least I had a good run. Partaking in the Handface Movement, getting a first post, and now a new meme devised specifically to abuse me...I am satisfied with my accomplishments.
I'm with you on this. I've had my fill of dating advice columns recently. When was the last time anyone did something with Photoshop?
I feel my time on Assetbar is waning. Pretty much everyone from when I started on here has been gradually replaced by new posters. Well, at least I had a good run. Partaking in the Handface Movement, getting a first post, and now a new meme devised specifically to abuse me...I am satisfied with my accomplishments.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I would like to apologize on behalf of assetbary for fucking with you so much baryonyx.
Not cool.
Not fucking cool.
I would like to apologize on behalf of assetbary for fucking with you so much baryonyx.
Not cool.
Not fucking cool.
zapatos
+0 -0
Yeah sorry dude, it was bary fucked up of us.
Yeah sorry dude, it was bary fucked up of us.
zapatos
+0 -0
Onyxly? I was trying bary hard to make you feel special, Baryonyx.
Onyxly? I was trying bary hard to make you feel special, Baryonyx.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Well hot shit RUN AND THROW YOUR GUNS IN THE AIR LIKE BARYONYX don't you dare say I created a meme I guess I kind of did huh and now I'm typing all internutty here I'm going to stop.
I really didn't think anyone would take up my call to arms on that, sorry baryonyx; but cheers to all you lads who actually did it.
Wooooodford Reserrrrrve.
Well hot shit RUN AND THROW YOUR GUNS IN THE AIR LIKE BARYONYX don't you dare say I created a meme I guess I kind of did huh and now I'm typing all internutty here I'm going to stop.
I really didn't think anyone would take up my call to arms on that, sorry baryonyx; but cheers to all you lads who actually did it.
Wooooodford Reserrrrrve.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Their devotion is staggering. Indeed they are a force of great and terrible power, power so great that no single man should ever wield it.
Just think of what would have happened if you had told sje and nice-on-water to level a city instead of merely say my name a lot.
Their devotion is staggering. Indeed they are a force of great and terrible power, power so great that no single man should ever wield it.
Just think of what would have happened if you had told sje and nice-on-water to level a city instead of merely say my name a lot.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Are you saying that I have...minions?
ATTAAAAAAAACK!
Are you saying that I have...minions?
ATTAAAAAAAACK!
sje46
+0 -0
Okay.
What? Like, everything?
Okay.
What? Like, everything?
zapatos
+0 -0
I would even give them a ride.
I would even give them a ride.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm not Roast Beef either, his relationships would be a step up for me. At least someone cares when he can't finish his toast.
I'm not Roast Beef either, his relationships would be a step up for me. At least someone cares when he can't finish his toast.
daedala_x
+1 -0
actually, i agree with autrepoupee, even though i am totally guilty of initially jumping into the fray with my "experiences". i said what i said cuz falseprophet sounded down on himself, but all of assetbarworld is getting really depressing and i kind of wish i never said anything in the first place. not that everyone wouldn't have taken off even if i didn't, but i probably contributed some momentum.
like what started out as one man's problem has turned into a free-for-all with everyone trying to compete over who has the most problems. what do you get if you win, huh? everyone will take a step back, inhale sharply, and say "christ, you really are the most pathetic and lonely dude on assetbar" and then you will... be happy?
i liked it better when people were cleverly being dicks to each other. seeing a group of grown men mollycoddling each other is a bit vomit-inducing. then again, what is achewood if not a strip about cats with strange cares expressing them to the delight of others? i'll bet you 90% of assetbar identify more with roast beef than any of the other characters. up til now, they've able to keep their patheticness in check because roast beef was singlehandedly pathetic enough to make them all feel better about themselves. but now he's more or less contently married. and cornelius is getting into a thing. i surmise this has been a silent rage building in a lot of the readership, who are all goddamn it now who's going to make me feel better about all my problems??? the only way i see this being abated is with a reemergence of pathetic roast beef through complaining about the trials of marraige (there's already been hints), and i REALLY don't want to see achewood go down that road. i swear, if RB and molly have a kid and start complaining about it i WILL up and leave. well, i'll still read it probably, but damned if i'm not scowling the entire time. maybe this is onstad's message to all of us that we need to.. stop being pathetic, get a lover, and enjoy life?
MORE TODD AND LYLE PLZ.
if you're still sad about your love life, listen to Advance and Vanquish by 3 Inches of Blood. that's what i'm listening to right now and i'm definitely not thinking about anything except how much it kicks ass.
actually, i agree with autrepoupee, even though i am totally guilty of initially jumping into the fray with my "experiences". i said what i said cuz falseprophet sounded down on himself, but all of assetbarworld is getting really depressing and i kind of wish i never said anything in the first place. not that everyone wouldn't have taken off even if i didn't, but i probably contributed some momentum.
like what started out as one man's problem has turned into a free-for-all with everyone trying to compete over who has the most problems. what do you get if you win, huh? everyone will take a step back, inhale sharply, and say "christ, you really are the most pathetic and lonely dude on assetbar" and then you will... be happy?
i liked it better when people were cleverly being dicks to each other. seeing a group of grown men mollycoddling each other is a bit vomit-inducing. then again, what is achewood if not a strip about cats with strange cares expressing them to the delight of others? i'll bet you 90% of assetbar identify more with roast beef than any of the other characters. up til now, they've able to keep their patheticness in check because roast beef was singlehandedly pathetic enough to make them all feel better about themselves. but now he's more or less contently married. and cornelius is getting into a thing. i surmise this has been a silent rage building in a lot of the readership, who are all goddamn it now who's going to make me feel better about all my problems??? the only way i see this being abated is with a reemergence of pathetic roast beef through complaining about the trials of marraige (there's already been hints), and i REALLY don't want to see achewood go down that road. i swear, if RB and molly have a kid and start complaining about it i WILL up and leave. well, i'll still read it probably, but damned if i'm not scowling the entire time. maybe this is onstad's message to all of us that we need to.. stop being pathetic, get a lover, and enjoy life?
MORE TODD AND LYLE PLZ.
if you're still sad about your love life, listen to Advance and Vanquish by 3 Inches of Blood. that's what i'm listening to right now and i'm definitely not thinking about anything except how much it kicks ass.
zapatos
+0 -0
More Todd and Lyle for sure. Maybe some three comics a day would help.
Maybe I should go premium, and bring back treats?
More Todd and Lyle for sure. Maybe some three comics a day would help.
Maybe I should go premium, and bring back treats?
baryonyx
+0 -0
Yeah, I don't really understand why we haven't deployed an inside man yet.
Yeah, I don't really understand why we haven't deployed an inside man yet.
sje46
+0 -0
Be quiet woman!
(Was . .. was that good?)
Be quiet woman!
(Was . .. was that good?)
sje46
+0 -0
I have a habit of complaining a lot to strangers. It won't happen again. My bad.
I have a habit of complaining a lot to strangers. It won't happen again. My bad.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
As pathetic as some of people might seem on assetbar, it's a rare breed and not a proud one that is really measuring their lives against a cartoon cat like Beef. Give a geek an inch and he'll try to be Carl Lewis, no matter the background.
All the whiners on here, justified or not, only wish they could relate to a "romantic" extreme like Beef. They all know they they belong to the middling, self-inflicted, ever-adolescent malaise of Teodor.
I tried to be a dick but I'm not exceptionally clever blame the mondays smithwicks and bourbon
As pathetic as some of people might seem on assetbar, it's a rare breed and not a proud one that is really measuring their lives against a cartoon cat like Beef. Give a geek an inch and he'll try to be Carl Lewis, no matter the background.
All the whiners on here, justified or not, only wish they could relate to a "romantic" extreme like Beef. They all know they they belong to the middling, self-inflicted, ever-adolescent malaise of Teodor.
I tried to be a dick but I'm not exceptionally clever blame the mondays smithwicks and bourbon
rowboat
+0 -0
Yes. Me. T through and through. Little sprinkle of Ray and Beef, but it is sprinkled on a bed of Teodor.
That came out sounding weird as hell, but you feel me.
Yes. Me. T through and through. Little sprinkle of Ray and Beef, but it is sprinkled on a bed of Teodor.
That came out sounding weird as hell, but you feel me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is Subway sandwich served in branch location in toilet stall of abandoned disco bar?
Is Subway sandwich served in branch location in toilet stall of abandoned disco bar?
snidedk
+1 -0
this is a comic about a cat who sucks (plus he's got depression), a bear that sits in his underwear, playing songs by the Smiths at ladies in chatrooms, and Lyle.
it's pretty much tailor-made for the "MY GIRLFRIEND"/"WHY DON'T I HAVE A MY GIRLFRIEND EVER" type of degenerate
this is a comic about a cat who sucks (plus he's got depression), a bear that sits in his underwear, playing songs by the Smiths at ladies in chatrooms, and Lyle.
it's pretty much tailor-made for the "MY GIRLFRIEND"/"WHY DON'T I HAVE A MY GIRLFRIEND EVER" type of degenerate
businessgypsy
+1 -1
Shouldn't that teaser headline on the cover of LIQUOR read "The Courage of his Concoctions"?
Shouldn't that teaser headline on the cover of LIQUOR read "The Courage of his Concoctions"?
drmemory
+0 -0
Well, *I* happen to think Victor Borge was pretty funny.
Well, *I* happen to think Victor Borge was pretty funny.
aperson
+0 -0
vchubbed for spatial comic timing.
vchubbed for spatial comic timing.
goro
+0 -0
I just "caught up" with the entire archives! In this strip! Go figure!
Actually, this is pretty damn cool. Now, I don't know if I'm going straight through again right away, or if I'm going to venture the waters of webcomics once more in search of a new fix before I return to this land of Achewood that feels like home.
On my return, I'll probably find everything is buried under billions of inane comments about nothing , people.
Anyway, see ya'll. I'm kinda sick of a lot of you. And if anyone ever wants to vote on who's the coolest poster ever on all of Acheworld, my vote is for xiaomimi. Yes, even cooler than onstad.
I just "caught up" with the entire archives! In this strip! Go figure!
Actually, this is pretty damn cool. Now, I don't know if I'm going straight through again right away, or if I'm going to venture the waters of webcomics once more in search of a new fix before I return to this land of Achewood that feels like home.
On my return, I'll probably find everything is buried under billions of inane comments about nothing , people.
Anyway, see ya'll. I'm kinda sick of a lot of you. And if anyone ever wants to vote on who's the coolest poster ever on all of Acheworld, my vote is for xiaomimi. Yes, even cooler than onstad.
sje46
+0 -0
Am I lame too?
:(
Am I lame too?
:(
zapatos
+0 -0
I'm kind of sick of me too.
Have a safe trip.
I'm kind of sick of me too.
Have a safe trip.
ashoykh
+0 -0
They have no oars! Is this a metaphor? True love is a rowboat without a paddle.
They have no oars! Is this a metaphor? True love is a rowboat without a paddle.
zapatos
+0 -0
Oars could be up in the boat.
Oars could be up in the boat.
rowboat
+0 -0
True love is Rowboat with his paddle. Just ask some naughty bitches. Ask all naughty bitches.
True love is Rowboat with his paddle. Just ask some naughty bitches. Ask all naughty bitches.
zapatos
+1 -0
me: Hey you naughty bitches, you know what love is!
nb: Yeah we know boy, we know it's Rowboat with his paddle! Woo sluts!
me: Oh baby baby, I know where that man is, let's party!
AT HIS COMPUTER.
me: Hey you naughty bitches, you know what love is!
nb: Yeah we know boy, we know it's Rowboat with his paddle! Woo sluts!
me: Oh baby baby, I know where that man is, let's party!
AT HIS COMPUTER.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
God DAMN.
God DAMN.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Legislated meat item? Yum. My favorite.
Legislated meat item? Yum. My favorite.
A comment left by skiddyfisk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, professorhazard, mattbeetee, EM2, mercuri0us, Kleptonis, ActualTaunt, Sweetlips, MortisInvictus, earendil, RogueCheddar, mystkmanat, shoethings)
Four separate strips? What madness is this? It lessens my tonus (yes, it is really a word) to br presented with such a mess. One per day, Mr. Onstad, that's all we ask.
pogo are you drunk today or just feeling awfully saucy?
It's the sauce either way, then, isn't it?
Chubbed whether Jesus made you write that or you think you thought of it yourself.
Perhaps its that cran bary -flavored vodka.
ah words like "tonus" make me remember when i was russian.