altffour
+1 -0
I hope that number 23 is a box car and the ride home was all downhill.
I hope that number 23 is a box car and the ride home was all downhill.
altffour
+0 -0
Oh sweet I totally mean soapbox. Goooo being tired.
Oh sweet I totally mean soapbox. Goooo being tired.
nice-on-water
+7 -0
Spell your words right, dumb-dumb! For your health.
Spell your words right, dumb-dumb! For your health.
storableprawn
+0 -0
And remember to hose off the driveway while you're at it, dummy! For your wine.
And remember to hose off the driveway while you're at it, dummy! For your wine.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Let's keep doing this.
It's got swords...you can get different kinds of swords...there are green energy crystals and if you get enough energy crystals you can get yourself a shield!
Let's keep doing this.
It's got swords...you can get different kinds of swords...there are green energy crystals and if you get enough energy crystals you can get yourself a shield!
lightupafatty
+3 -0
Does your milk taste funny when you take a sip of it? Just check the expiration date dummy!!
Does your milk taste funny when you take a sip of it? Just check the expiration date dummy!!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What goes in the hole
Comes out the hole.
What goes in the hole
Comes out the hole.
doctordung
+0 -0
You just described the digestive system of a sea anemone! For your consideration!
You just described the digestive system of a sea anemone! For your consideration!
pogo
+0 -0
That's right, we are a tube, not a hole, unless you study topography, where we could be considered a donut.
That's right, we are a tube, not a hole, unless you study topography, where we could be considered a donut.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Oh God, the math pedant inside me is clawing my skull! It's topology. Topography is the study of bumps on a map. Topology is the fundamental study of the nature of shape itself. Damn kids and their misconceptions of advanced math...
Also, due to the many intersecting orifii in the human body, we are more complex than a donut (torus). The topological genus of a human is at least 5 or 6
Oh God, the math pedant inside me is clawing my skull! It's topology. Topography is the study of bumps on a map. Topology is the fundamental study of the nature of shape itself. Damn kids and their misconceptions of advanced math...
Also, due to the many intersecting orifii in the human body, we are more complex than a donut (torus). The topological genus of a human is at least 5 or 6
stereo
+0 -0
Really it depends how finely you resolve. I mean, I drink through my mouth and it comes out tiny holes all over my skin. I guess if you're looking for holes at least ~1mm in diam. then 9 sounds about right.
Really it depends how finely you resolve. I mean, I drink through my mouth and it comes out tiny holes all over my skin. I guess if you're looking for holes at least ~1mm in diam. then 9 sounds about right.
stereo
+0 -0
Topologically, I don't think the vagina is a hole at all.
Topologically, I don't think the vagina is a hole at all.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And nostrils are just the most interesting thing from this view. They are smoothly connected to each other, but due to the septum, they aren't quite a simple surface. I'm picturing the group of paths one can take from the tip of your nose back around to itself. I can almost grab the homotopy group for a head from this. You would not believe how hard I am right now.
And nostrils are just the most interesting thing from this view. They are smoothly connected to each other, but due to the septum, they aren't quite a simple surface. I'm picturing the group of paths one can take from the tip of your nose back around to itself. I can almost grab the homotopy group for a head from this. You would not believe how hard I am right now.
redphillip
+0 -0
Oh H-bot, I do believe, I do.
Most folks don't realize how mathematicians are really totally mad rutty . It's no mistake that Hedonismbot picked this avatar; it's cause he's 7-kinky.
So, H-bot, since you're already so hard, if we talk about the topology of the vomurolonasal organ, will you cum?
Oh H-bot, I do believe, I do.
Most folks don't realize how mathematicians are really totally mad rutty . It's no mistake that Hedonismbot picked this avatar; it's cause he's 7-kinky.
So, H-bot, since you're already so hard, if we talk about the topology of the vomurolonasal organ, will you cum?
rowboat
+0 -0
Man don't kid yourself nobody thinks that a mathematician packs.
Man don't kid yourself nobody thinks that a mathematician packs.
pogo
+0 -0
Wow, I awoke the intellect of Hedonismbot with my dashed-off mix-up for topology and topography. Learn a lesson from this, kids. If you are ever attacked by a Hedonismbot, ask it a math question.
Wow, I awoke the intellect of Hedonismbot with my dashed-off mix-up for topology and topography. Learn a lesson from this, kids. If you are ever attacked by a Hedonismbot, ask it a math question.
kamet
+0 -0
Curses.. my only weakness.
Curses.. my only weakness.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you better have wicked sack to be calling pogo a kid.
wait, it's hedo bot i'm talking to.
as you were.
you better have wicked sack to be calling pogo a kid.
wait, it's hedo bot i'm talking to.
as you were.
preston
+0 -0
We got. . . Peanut Nore!
We got. . . Peanut Nore!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Stop drop and roll! For your health!
Stop drop and roll! For your health!
feetnotes
+1 -0
As a doctor, I should be able to tell you where diarrhea comes from.
As a doctor, I should be able to tell you where diarrhea comes from.
anomalous3
+0 -0
you are a velociraptor. Duly noted and chubbied
you are a velociraptor. Duly noted and chubbied
tripleg
+0 -0
you are a bald young man. Duly noted and v-chubbed.
you are a bald young man. Duly noted and v-chubbed.
drskradley
+0 -0
Dinosaurs should not look like that. They never used to look like that, not when I was young.
Dinosaurs should not look like that. They never used to look like that, not when I was young.
tekende
+0 -0
I think that's a puffin or some similar bird.
I think that's a puffin or some similar bird.
sje46
+0 -0
Dinosaurs are closely related to birds.
Unless you're a creationist.
You're not a creationist, are you?
Dinosaurs are closely related to birds.
Unless you're a creationist.
You're not a creationist, are you?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
They might be related but they're distinct enough that you can tell the difference without being a Creationist.
SILLY.
They might be related but they're distinct enough that you can tell the difference without being a Creationist.
SILLY.
speccer
+0 -0
I also think that is not a velociraptor. Look at its hind legs - those are way too short to be good for running. Them's flying legs.
I also think that is not a velociraptor. Look at its hind legs - those are way too short to be good for running. Them's flying legs.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Vestigial things, them are.
Vestigial things, them are.
feetnotes
+0 -0
For the record, it is what comes up on google image search when you search "deinonychus". I don't think it looks like a proper dinosaur either.
For the record, it is what comes up on google image search when you search "deinonychus". I don't think it looks like a proper dinosaur either.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
It's a velociraptor stuck in the mud. Jeff Goldblum tricked it.
It's a velociraptor stuck in the mud. Jeff Goldblum tricked it.
kamet
+0 -0
Gosh.. that Jeff Goldblum is so smart. First Dinosaurs... then aliens, with a nifty computer virus. (apparently alien computer technology is compatible with Apple.. this scares me.)
Gosh.. that Jeff Goldblum is so smart. First Dinosaurs... then aliens, with a nifty computer virus. (apparently alien computer technology is compatible with Apple.. this scares me.)
nice-on-water
+4 -0
"Uh, uh, yes yes, well...uh, let's see here, you, you, uh, Veloci-uh, raptor, if you would, um, just be so kind as to-to-to, ah, to step over-over to your right? My left, your right, and um, well, uh, stay there. For lack of a better...term." Then he arches his eyebrows and stares up at the raptor with his head down, index finger knuckle at his lower lip.
"Uh, uh, yes yes, well...uh, let's see here, you, you, uh, Veloci-uh, raptor, if you would, um, just be so kind as to-to-to, ah, to step over-over to your right? My left, your right, and um, well, uh, stay there. For lack of a better...term." Then he arches his eyebrows and stares up at the raptor with his head down, index finger knuckle at his lower lip.
drskradley
+0 -0
It's a Deinonychus.
As it is one of the many default avatars, I saw someone with it many moons ago - and instantly recognised it as a Deinonychus due to previous Internets readings about favourite dinosaurs.
Are you surprised at my paleo-nerdiness, sir? Strong men also look up dinosaurs in their spare time. And if lovin' dinosaurs is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
It's a Deinonychus.
As it is one of the many default avatars, I saw someone with it many moons ago - and instantly recognised it as a Deinonychus due to previous Internets readings about favourite dinosaurs.
Are you surprised at my paleo-nerdiness, sir? Strong men also look up dinosaurs in their spare time. And if lovin' dinosaurs is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
feetnotes
+0 -0
Man I don't know if this is any kind of default avatar. Maybe the person you saw many moons ago was, in fact me?
I chose it because I was trying to tell a friend once how awesome and badass deinonychus was and I googled it and the cutest picture of all dinosaur pictures came up. So it became a thing with me.
Man I don't know if this is any kind of default avatar. Maybe the person you saw many moons ago was, in fact me?
I chose it because I was trying to tell a friend once how awesome and badass deinonychus was and I googled it and the cutest picture of all dinosaur pictures came up. So it became a thing with me.
hamscout
+0 -0
I can't speak to how badass it is, but the chart comparing it's size with a human scared the hell out of me!
He's all: Hey there, lizard-birdy! Want some punkin' seeds?
And the Deinonychus already has his Rectus sheath shredded on his molars...
nom nom nom nom nom
I can't speak to how badass it is, but the chart comparing it's size with a human scared the hell out of me!
He's all: Hey there, lizard-birdy! Want some punkin' seeds?
And the Deinonychus already has his Rectus sheath shredded on his molars...
nom nom nom nom nom
nice-on-water
+2 -0
That's probably because the human is like "Oh hey guys what's going on" and the Deino is running straight towards him with its freaky wing-hands.
That's probably because the human is like "Oh hey guys what's going on" and the Deino is running straight towards him with its freaky wing-hands.
stereo
+0 -0
Bizarro! Bizarro!
Bizarro! Bizarro!
speccer
+0 -0
Hey! It's Turtleface!
Hey! It's Turtleface!
hamscout
+0 -0
Bizzaro! I'm helping!
Bizzaro! I'm helping!
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
Bizarro! I love you!
Bizarro! I love you!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh my god, Prison Mike.
Oh my god, Prison Mike.
re5urgam
+0 -0
feetnotes, that is truly the cutest picture of all dinosaur pictures.
Yes, I know it's been a year.
feetnotes, that is truly the cutest picture of all dinosaur pictures.
Yes, I know it's been a year.
iskanderson
+0 -0
The stripper is less freakish here. I think it's the eyes.
The stripper is less freakish here. I think it's the eyes.
whoisspain
+42 -0
Woman just got a soapbox ride, a decent breakfast, some loving, and some sleep for a change instead of handling suspiciously soiled dollar bills and grinding into the porcine, flabby lap of a trucker with an obsession for strippers and a tire-iron on the passenger seat called Chuck. That'll do anyone some good.
Woman just got a soapbox ride, a decent breakfast, some loving, and some sleep for a change instead of handling suspiciously soiled dollar bills and grinding into the porcine, flabby lap of a trucker with an obsession for strippers and a tire-iron on the passenger seat called Chuck. That'll do anyone some good.
rexsjain
+0 -0
well said!
well said!
lateadopter
+0 -0
Also note that in panel 8 she still has those little marks around her eyes, but they're gone in the last panel. She just removed her make-up before going to bed. Cornelius, it seems, was able to see past the freakish surface, but that's to be expected.
Also note that in panel 8 she still has those little marks around her eyes, but they're gone in the last panel. She just removed her make-up before going to bed. Cornelius, it seems, was able to see past the freakish surface, but that's to be expected.
likeiwassaying
+2 -1
I like this much better coming from Dylan Moran.
Well said indeed.
I like this much better coming from Dylan Moran.
Well said indeed.
xndrew
+0 -0
Perhaps it's simply the lack of old-timey glasses on Cornelius, but he also looks max refreshed.
Perhaps it's simply the lack of old-timey glasses on Cornelius, but he also looks max refreshed.
actualtaunt
+2 -0
Convertible with stripper... check
Soap box derby down mountain... check
breakfast in strange restaurant... Check
So... Does someone want to explain how Mr. Bear is living one of my actual fantasies?
Convertible with stripper... check
Soap box derby down mountain... check
breakfast in strange restaurant... Check
So... Does someone want to explain how Mr. Bear is living one of my actual fantasies?
jgross
+0 -0
First things first. Are you Mr. Bear?
First things first. Are you Mr. Bear?
actualtaunt
+36 -2
Bearly.
Bearly.
tragicone
+4 -0
BOOOOOOOO!
You should feel bad.
BOOOOOOOO!
You should feel bad.
actualtaunt
+36 -0
you have no idea what kind of self-loathing happens when all that happens in your brain is puns like that.
That shit is morose.
you have no idea what kind of self-loathing happens when all that happens in your brain is puns like that.
That shit is morose.
pravda
+1 -0
Every pun that comes out of my head is a little death. Just a little bit of dyin' every time. Hold me...
Every pun that comes out of my head is a little death. Just a little bit of dyin' every time. Hold me...
actualtaunt
+69 -0
It's like a basketball game. And I am there, and the various words are there, and I put them together, and I have lost.
It's like a basketball game. And I am there, and the various words are there, and I put them together, and I have lost.
pravda
+5 -0
You are a good person.
You are a good person.
likeiwassaying
+0 -0
every time you commented in this thread you became more amazing.
i am afraid to see the heights you could achieve if you continued.
every time you commented in this thread you became more amazing.
i am afraid to see the heights you could achieve if you continued.
tragicone
+0 -0
Seriously, the kid is on a whole new level!
Seriously, the kid is on a whole new level!
pogo
+0 -0
I echo your encouragement of the kid.
I echo your encouragement of the kid.
actualtaunt
+5 -0
I'd make a joke, but I'd be afraid that it'd be pogo Schtick
I'd make a joke, but I'd be afraid that it'd be pogo Schtick
randombeing
+0 -0
Oh no, you did NOT.
Oh no, you did NOT.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
o, the synergy
o, the synergy
actualtaunt
+6 -1
I fear that I must stop before they become pun gent.
I fear that I must stop before they become pun gent.
spinynorman
+8 -0
The time-tested rule that puns are the comedic equivalent of a fart holds true -
No one laughs but the guy who did it and everyone else makes a face and goes AWWWW
The time-tested rule that puns are the comedic equivalent of a fart holds true -
No one laughs but the guy who did it and everyone else makes a face and goes AWWWW
actualtaunt
+6 -0
Puns, sir, are rather more a candle in a dark room, sending light to those who would receive it, brightening he who would use it, and casting into shadow the faces of those around him.
Puns, sir, are not like farts. Everyone can fart. Only the chosen can pun.
Puns, sir, are rather more a candle in a dark room, sending light to those who would receive it, brightening he who would use it, and casting into shadow the faces of those around him.
Puns, sir, are not like farts. Everyone can fart. Only the chosen can pun.
spinynorman
+4 -1
What is it that puns give us that other jokes do not? Humor is mankind's attempt to adjust itself to the irrational, to highlight the absurd and the senseless and make it palatable. We laugh at pain and irony, we giggle when the normal is juxtaposed with the insane, and we chortle when a narrative construct acknowledges that it's false and artificial and has no real authenticity or merit at all.
We laugh at futility. At the meaningless. Because, otherwise, it'd be painful. It's the comedian's art to make the painful fun.
Puns, in comparison, seem extremely slight. They're coincidences in language, often forced by the joke teller. The humor may derive from trying to swap two unrelated concepts - when a door is ajar, for instance - but usually you laugh not because it works, but because it doesn't. The relation is usually very contrived. So you laugh not because the joke is funny, but because it's not. You laugh at the teller not because he's skilled at swapping these two unrelated objects, but because he isn't. Puns are funny because both the form itself is terrible, and pun tellers get laughs not because they're artful, but because they very clearly aren't.
What is it that puns give us that other jokes do not? Humor is mankind's attempt to adjust itself to the irrational, to highlight the absurd and the senseless and make it palatable. We laugh at pain and irony, we giggle when the normal is juxtaposed with the insane, and we chortle when a narrative construct acknowledges that it's false and artificial and has no real authenticity or merit at all.
We laugh at futility. At the meaningless. Because, otherwise, it'd be painful. It's the comedian's art to make the painful fun.
Puns, in comparison, seem extremely slight. They're coincidences in language, often forced by the joke teller. The humor may derive from trying to swap two unrelated concepts - when a door is ajar, for instance - but usually you laugh not because it works, but because it doesn't. The relation is usually very contrived. So you laugh not because the joke is funny, but because it's not. You laugh at the teller not because he's skilled at swapping these two unrelated objects, but because he isn't. Puns are funny because both the form itself is terrible, and pun tellers get laughs not because they're artful, but because they very clearly aren't.
actualtaunt
+5 -0
We laugh at puns, dear Spinynorman, for the same reasons we hate them.
A pun is a tiny island of order in a sea of lingual chaos; a little triumph.
The greatest comedians of all time use them; Aristophanes, Plautus, P.G. Wodehouse, Oscar Wilde, and even a couple in Brecht and Shaw.
Slight they are, but not. They are slight, but in the same way a gemstone of great price is slight next to a boulder.
A teller of puns swaps around the words at hand, and laces in related concepts. This is not art? Why? Art is substituting in elements of your imagination's own creation into a world of set values; if the values are trees, or characters, or words, it is no matter.
Anthropologists have found that in every culture, wordplay, especially puns, are met with groans, sighs, and threats of physical violence, mostly because of the joke's construction; still we persevere- we proud chosen.
How I love playing pun dit.
We laugh at puns, dear Spinynorman, for the same reasons we hate them.
A pun is a tiny island of order in a sea of lingual chaos; a little triumph.
The greatest comedians of all time use them; Aristophanes, Plautus, P.G. Wodehouse, Oscar Wilde, and even a couple in Brecht and Shaw.
Slight they are, but not. They are slight, but in the same way a gemstone of great price is slight next to a boulder.
A teller of puns swaps around the words at hand, and laces in related concepts. This is not art? Why? Art is substituting in elements of your imagination's own creation into a world of set values; if the values are trees, or characters, or words, it is no matter.
Anthropologists have found that in every culture, wordplay, especially puns, are met with groans, sighs, and threats of physical violence, mostly because of the joke's construction; still we persevere- we proud chosen.
How I love playing pun dit.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Eddy Poe once said "The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability."
And OH GOD THAT PUN OH MY GOD SHUT UP
Eddy Poe once said "The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability."
And OH GOD THAT PUN OH MY GOD SHUT UP
spinynorman
+1 -0
I would probably go back to say that the art of puns is not measured by how it accomplishes its swap, but how it often spectacularly fails. The value of a pun is its valueless. It's an art form that tries its absolute hardest to be awful. So, to me at least, as far as verbal humor goes, it's the equivalent of the show Jackass . It tries to make you hate it. It, like Pink Flamingos makes it its mission to be fundamentally offensive. It's funny merely because you can't believe someone had such an impaired sense of humor that they actually spent time thinking it up. It's certainly not a "laughing with" scenario.
And what schoolkid hasn't spent hours and hours sifting through Shakespeare, trying to find a single pun based on some archaic word or connotation that doesn't even exist anymore? Just because of that, most people can't stand puns. And justly so, I think.
I would probably go back to say that the art of puns is not measured by how it accomplishes its swap, but how it often spectacularly fails. The value of a pun is its valueless. It's an art form that tries its absolute hardest to be awful. So, to me at least, as far as verbal humor goes, it's the equivalent of the show Jackass . It tries to make you hate it. It, like Pink Flamingos makes it its mission to be fundamentally offensive. It's funny merely because you can't believe someone had such an impaired sense of humor that they actually spent time thinking it up. It's certainly not a "laughing with" scenario.
And what schoolkid hasn't spent hours and hours sifting through Shakespeare, trying to find a single pun based on some archaic word or connotation that doesn't even exist anymore? Just because of that, most people can't stand puns. And justly so, I think.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Fair enough.
Am I right to think you're a fan of absurdism?
Fair enough.
Am I right to think you're a fan of absurdism?
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yes. I suppose that says something. Perhaps Puns vs. Absurdism is something like Left Side of the Brain vs. the Right side.
Yes. I suppose that says something. Perhaps Puns vs. Absurdism is something like Left Side of the Brain vs. the Right side.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I have to level with you, I have to be in the mood, and it's usually one or the other.
If you like absurdism, I feel that you would really like the works of Nicky silver. You probably already know Durang.
I have to level with you, I have to be in the mood, and it's usually one or the other.
If you like absurdism, I feel that you would really like the works of Nicky silver. You probably already know Durang.
bjorntd
+1 -0
Y'all some nerds.
Y'all some nerds.
dangelder
+0 -2
Also they're punny.
Also they're punny.
mista_b
+0 -0
Piers Anthony, is that you?
Piers Anthony, is that you?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Who, me? Or Dangelder?
Who, me? Or Dangelder?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
In that case, the irony of the pun is what's funny about it, and now you're getting into antihumor and that's when heads spin, and I wouldn't call that slight. It takes a great understanding of the human mind to make a joke that is meant to be humorous and non-humorous and get both responses. That's part of Shakespeare's legacy; he makes people that actually appreciate his puns laugh with a cringe. Most of his puns are downright painful.
In that case, the irony of the pun is what's funny about it, and now you're getting into antihumor and that's when heads spin, and I wouldn't call that slight. It takes a great understanding of the human mind to make a joke that is meant to be humorous and non-humorous and get both responses. That's part of Shakespeare's legacy; he makes people that actually appreciate his puns laugh with a cringe. Most of his puns are downright painful.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
The bard was a punny bastard.
The bard was a punny bastard.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
He would never mean to globe, not that he was never tempested, but he was the shrewest at puns and played right with words. Couplet with his tragedies and histories and, marc my words, yorik for a good time. You gotta hamlet to him, he was good. Willy ever caesar amaze me?
He would never mean to globe, not that he was never tempested, but he was the shrewest at puns and played right with words. Couplet with his tragedies and histories and, marc my words, yorik for a good time. You gotta hamlet to him, he was good. Willy ever caesar amaze me?
actualtaunt
+5 -0
I think you're trying too bard.
I think you're trying too bard.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
But in all seriousness, did you know that puns like that can affect babies in the womb? They do tests, and find that the amniotic fluid can be as much as 3% hatred of wordplay.
But in all seriousness, did you know that puns like that can affect babies in the womb? They do tests, and find that the amniotic fluid can be as much as 3% hatred of wordplay.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Gestating that gives me a strong sense of womb.
Gestating that gives me a strong sense of womb.
spinynorman
+3 -0
Once, on the bus, there were three young men sitting in front of me.
The one on the left, looking out the window, remarked that there was certainly a lot of cedar around the area.
The one in the middle said, "Yes," and then pointed out the window and said, "See dere?"
The one on the right then violently punched the one in the middle in the ear. He fell to the ground whimpering.
That is not what I would call both a humorous and a non-humorous reaction. It seems distinctly non-humorous. I do find it hard to say it was an unjust one, however.
Once, on the bus, there were three young men sitting in front of me.
The one on the left, looking out the window, remarked that there was certainly a lot of cedar around the area.
The one in the middle said, "Yes," and then pointed out the window and said, "See dere?"
The one on the right then violently punched the one in the middle in the ear. He fell to the ground whimpering.
That is not what I would call both a humorous and a non-humorous reaction. It seems distinctly non-humorous. I do find it hard to say it was an unjust one, however.
pogo
+1 -0
Quote:
How's your ear now?
Quote:
The one on the right then violently punched the one in the middle in the ear.
How's your ear now?
pogo
+2 -0
[qoute]Humor is mankind's attempt to adjust itself to the irrational, to highlight the absurd and the senseless and make it palatable. We laugh at pain and irony, we giggle when the normal is juxtaposed with the insane, and we chortle when a narrative construct acknowledges that it's false and artificial and has no real authenticity or merit at all. We laugh at futility. At the meaningless. Because, otherwise, it'd be painful. It's the comedian's art to make the painful fun [/quote]
While that's certainly the cynical, ironic side of humor, and reflects well the past few decade of "bash everything sacred" humor, there is certainly another type or types, the gentle humor that children can enjoy, humor that teaches a lesson, or warms the heart. Be ye not so lost as to never make a baby laugh. Or unable to come up with an acceptable joke at the dinner table with your parents and other rellies of all ages.
[qoute]Humor is mankind's attempt to adjust itself to the irrational, to highlight the absurd and the senseless and make it palatable. We laugh at pain and irony, we giggle when the normal is juxtaposed with the insane, and we chortle when a narrative construct acknowledges that it's false and artificial and has no real authenticity or merit at all. We laugh at futility. At the meaningless. Because, otherwise, it'd be painful. It's the comedian's art to make the painful fun [/quote]
While that's certainly the cynical, ironic side of humor, and reflects well the past few decade of "bash everything sacred" humor, there is certainly another type or types, the gentle humor that children can enjoy, humor that teaches a lesson, or warms the heart. Be ye not so lost as to never make a baby laugh. Or unable to come up with an acceptable joke at the dinner table with your parents and other rellies of all ages.
pogo
+0 -0
And of course, I would fuck up BB Code!
And of course, I would fuck up BB Code!
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Dear Mr. Pogo,
I think that your comment about humor helping us cope with a shitty life is only improved by a bbcode error. I support this.
Sincerly,
actualtaunt
Dear Mr. Pogo,
I think that your comment about humor helping us cope with a shitty life is only improved by a bbcode error. I support this.
Sincerly,
actualtaunt
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Good point: comedy of errors -- except it's Spiny's comment I'm quoting. Also, no need to be so formal with the mister stuff.
Quote:
your comment about humor helping us cope with a shitty life is only improved by a bbcode error
Good point: comedy of errors -- except it's Spiny's comment I'm quoting. Also, no need to be so formal with the mister stuff.
pogo
+1 -0
As for puns, spiney, the have the element of surprise, which is at the heart of all jokes. When good, they demonstrate quick wit and a playfulness with language.
As for puns, spiney, the have the element of surprise, which is at the heart of all jokes. When good, they demonstrate quick wit and a playfulness with language.
judasburrito
+0 -0
well it's not funny if you explain it!
well it's not funny if you explain it!
applebed
+0 -0
Spinynorman, you should know that Stephen Fry of your avatar had a radio show called "Current Puns."
https://speechification-russell.s3.amazonaws.com/CurrentPuns.mp3
An article on the show: https://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_/ai_n19292207
Spinynorman, you should know that Stephen Fry of your avatar had a radio show called "Current Puns."
https://speechification-russell.s3.amazonaws.com/CurrentPuns.mp3
An article on the show: https://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_/ai_n19292207
biznart
+0 -0
I think I love you.
I think I love you.
biznart
+0 -0
Just to be clear, I meant actualtaunt. It's a given that everyone loves spinynorman.
Just to be clear, I meant actualtaunt. It's a given that everyone loves spinynorman.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't love spinynorman.
I adore him.
I don't love spinynorman.
I adore him.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
And what are you so afraid of?
And what are you so afraid of?
lateadopter
+0 -0
A love there is no cure for?
A love there is no cure for?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Well your love is like bad medicine. And...well, bad medicine? It's what I need
Oh ooh whoa .
Well your love is like bad medicine. And...well, bad medicine? It's what I need
Oh ooh whoa .
biznart
+0 -0
Actually my fear stems from uncertainty regarding said love.
Actually my fear stems from uncertainty regarding said love.
jlynes
+2 -0
Puns are the little death that bring total annihilation.
Puns are the little death that bring total annihilation.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
So, what do you call it when a male cow eats a box of dynamite?
So, what do you call it when a male cow eats a box of dynamite?
tripperday
+0 -0
Chateau Poisoned? (Pronounce "poisoned" to rhyme with "briand". I know you can do it.)
Chateau Poisoned? (Pronounce "poisoned" to rhyme with "briand". I know you can do it.)
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Nope. Try again.
Nope. Try again.
sje46
+1 -0
Steer clear?
Steer clear?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Ha HA! It's Abominable!
Ha HA! It's Abominable!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Winner!~
(If you're not careful, it can also become noble.)
Winner!~
(If you're not careful, it can also become noble.)
scott_335
+0 -0
KowBOOM
KowBOOM
pogo
+0 -0
A burger bomb.
A burger bomb.
kittydragon
+0 -0
If you mean it in the metaphorical sense, then puns give me "the little death" as well. I get so squishy in the pants for a bad pun.
If you mean it in the metaphorical sense, then puns give me "the little death" as well. I get so squishy in the pants for a bad pun.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
We should talk later!
So what should you yell when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
We should talk later!
So what should you yell when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
This is hell of vintage.
This is hell of vintage.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
What to expect of an old geezer? (I actually got the abominable/noble pun from a book of Victorian humor I read years ago in Junior High School.)
What to expect of an old geezer? (I actually got the abominable/noble pun from a book of Victorian humor I read years ago in Junior High School.)
actualtaunt
+0 -0
My God . That glorious book!
My God . That glorious book!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
So, when you drop a piano down a mine shaft, it is proper to yell: "See sharp, or you'll be flat!" If this warning goes unheeded, then it typically resolves with a flat miner.
So, when you drop a piano down a mine shaft, it is proper to yell: "See sharp, or you'll be flat!" If this warning goes unheeded, then it typically resolves with a flat miner.
kamet
+0 -0
What would a piano be doing in a mining operation, is my question.
What would a piano be doing in a mining operation, is my question.
tekende
+0 -0
Accompanying the dwarves in their heigh-ho song, probably.
Accompanying the dwarves in their heigh-ho song, probably.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I kept telling 'em hommies to take up the harmonica!
I kept telling 'em hommies to take up the harmonica!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
thus puorquoi it's called the mouth organ in some trades.
thus puorquoi it's called the mouth organ in some trades.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
pourquoi.
good thing the french don't fight. i'd be in trouble.
/americanism
pourquoi.
good thing the french don't fight. i'd be in trouble.
/americanism
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Man, I don't get why people are so down on puns. They're basically my only outlet for humor, that and self-deprecation.
Man, I don't get why people are so down on puns. They're basically my only outlet for humor, that and self-deprecation.
stereo
+1 -0
Puns are the only jokes I understand
Puns are the only jokes I understand
spinynorman
+7 -1
I actually have more trouble understanding some puns than other jokes. There's like some sort of verbal logic that escapes me.
Example: when eating with my GF's family the subject of a local boy who had been peddling weed came up. They began to argue about how marijuana use did not come with the stigma that it used to anymore, and after several minutes of me saying nothing I quipped, "Well, I think it's certainly more common. After all, I'm high right now."
There was a smattering of chuckles, and then her dad said, "Well, of course you are! You're over six foot aren't you? And your head's always in the clouds!"
Brow creased, I nodded, not sure what he meant in the slightest. I stared into my plate for upwards of five minutes, puzzling over his comment, before finally having my epiphany and saying out loud, "Oh, because I'm tall. I get it," to which my girlfriend replied that she frequently believed that I was "borderline-retarded."
I understand jokes that have no logic more than those that have a lot.
I actually have more trouble understanding some puns than other jokes. There's like some sort of verbal logic that escapes me.
Example: when eating with my GF's family the subject of a local boy who had been peddling weed came up. They began to argue about how marijuana use did not come with the stigma that it used to anymore, and after several minutes of me saying nothing I quipped, "Well, I think it's certainly more common. After all, I'm high right now."
There was a smattering of chuckles, and then her dad said, "Well, of course you are! You're over six foot aren't you? And your head's always in the clouds!"
Brow creased, I nodded, not sure what he meant in the slightest. I stared into my plate for upwards of five minutes, puzzling over his comment, before finally having my epiphany and saying out loud, "Oh, because I'm tall. I get it," to which my girlfriend replied that she frequently believed that I was "borderline-retarded."
I understand jokes that have no logic more than those that have a lot.
theguitarhero
+14 -0
Maybe that was just because you were high.
Maybe that was just because you were high.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It is for that precise reason that I like puns. A really good 3-level pun concerning, say, German politics or 18th century agrarian business, makes the appreciative listener chuckle and the teller beam with confidence. Try it at your next regatta gala.
It is for that precise reason that I like puns. A really good 3-level pun concerning, say, German politics or 18th century agrarian business, makes the appreciative listener chuckle and the teller beam with confidence. Try it at your next regatta gala.
belgand
+5 -0
Are you at all concerned about an uprising?
Are you at all concerned about an uprising?
actualtaunt
+10 -0
I have trouble with jokes about German politics, honestly. I do my best, but they always sound campy.
I have trouble with jokes about German politics, honestly. I do my best, but they always sound campy.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I am going to hell...
I am going to hell...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I actually Googled "Politics of Germany" and Ctrl F'd the Wikipedia article for "camp." Touche, actualtaunt.
I actually Googled "Politics of Germany" and Ctrl F'd the Wikipedia article for "camp." Touche, actualtaunt.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
You just need to concentrate more.
You just need to concentrate more.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Concentration camps seemed most obvious but also most low-brow. I didn't want to accept that that was it but if it is, alright. I want to revoke my chubby now.
Concentration camps seemed most obvious but also most low-brow. I didn't want to accept that that was it but if it is, alright. I want to revoke my chubby now.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
As a General rule,
do not be fascist with your
German camp chubbies.
As a General rule,
do not be fascist with your
German camp chubbies.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
To my ears and mind
Your haiku has failed because
General has three.
Syllables.
I'm a sucker for random haiku and limericks and such. Puns are about on the same level, so that explains that.
To my ears and mind
Your haiku has failed because
General has three.
Syllables.
I'm a sucker for random haiku and limericks and such. Puns are about on the same level, so that explains that.
actualtaunt
+3 -0
A cat which at chickens did yell
Made wordplay and po'try real well.
he thought his haiku
To be better than you
And decided to give you some hell.
A cat which at chickens did yell
Made wordplay and po'try real well.
he thought his haiku
To be better than you
And decided to give you some hell.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
His limericks were humor-gaunt,
And of his own work did he so vaunt.
His ejections so loud
Did not upset the crowd
Because not one was an actual taunt.
His limericks were humor-gaunt,
And of his own work did he so vaunt.
His ejections so loud
Did not upset the crowd
Because not one was an actual taunt.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
A lim'rick, the best joke by far
A music like flute or citar
He doubts that I flaunt
the most actual taunt?
That toilet seat smokes a cigar.
A lim'rick, the best joke by far
A music like flute or citar
He doubts that I flaunt
the most actual taunt?
That toilet seat smokes a cigar.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
A rhyme-off is what the man wants.
How can I respond to his taunts?
I could ignore his comments,
Or turn to political laments
And ignore him in favor of Kant.
That's for all of Assetbar, right there.
A rhyme-off is what the man wants.
How can I respond to his taunts?
I could ignore his comments,
Or turn to political laments
And ignore him in favor of Kant.
That's for all of Assetbar, right there.
stereo
+1 -0
The little gray cat's name was Beef
He didn't have that many teeth
Not much of a jock
He yelled at his cock
Beheading would be much more brief
The little gray cat's name was Beef
He didn't have that many teeth
Not much of a jock
He yelled at his cock
Beheading would be much more brief
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The thin Mr. Bateman was apt
At playing this heroic man-bat.
The 'Bar found him thin
And weighty tales they did spin
Ignoring the tale of the cat.
The thin Mr. Bateman was apt
At playing this heroic man-bat.
The 'Bar found him thin
And weighty tales they did spin
Ignoring the tale of the cat.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Shit I said thin twice.
Shit I said thin twice.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
A poetry battle sublime
A throwdown with rhythm and rhyme
A philosopher's haven
Is what nice is cravin'
cause his mortgages are all subprime
Uhn tiss uhn tiss
Wikka wikka
Peace out homes
A poetry battle sublime
A throwdown with rhythm and rhyme
A philosopher's haven
Is what nice is cravin'
cause his mortgages are all subprime
Uhn tiss uhn tiss
Wikka wikka
Peace out homes
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There once was a Achewoodian reader,
Of actual taunts, he was no leader.
While puns were a-plenty,
Their weight hadn't they any,
And were of the class of "See dere."
There once was a Achewoodian reader,
Of actual taunts, he was no leader.
While puns were a-plenty,
Their weight hadn't they any,
And were of the class of "See dere."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
PS Ran out of chubbies. You're welcome.
PS Ran out of chubbies. You're welcome.
actualtaunt
+5 -0
On water this mofo is nice
But my poetry's colder than ice
At rhymin' he's failin'
Like Governor Palin
And he totally used "thin" like twice.
On water this mofo is nice
But my poetry's colder than ice
At rhymin' he's failin'
Like Governor Palin
And he totally used "thin" like twice.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Now that's just a low blow right there.
For a gentleman's fight, I prepared.
But with the mention of Ms. Alask'
I'm vexed to next have to ask,
"Your sportsmanship has gone...
... where? "
I have to go to class so I've been studying for a while, so this ISN'T MY BEST STUFF.
Now that's just a low blow right there.
For a gentleman's fight, I prepared.
But with the mention of Ms. Alask'
I'm vexed to next have to ask,
"Your sportsmanship has gone...
... where? "
I have to go to class so I've been studying for a while, so this ISN'T MY BEST STUFF.
catgrl131
+4 -0
Those who think puns are perverse
Will find this next limerick a curse
For I love to rhyme
And puns aren't a crime
So it's pun-haters versus the verse
Those who think puns are perverse
Will find this next limerick a curse
For I love to rhyme
And puns aren't a crime
So it's pun-haters versus the verse
actualtaunt
+0 -0
You! Blaming your verse on a Class?
How do you get off being crass?
Go on, lim'rick buddy,
Take this chance to study,
I'd feel guilty if you don't pass.
You! Blaming your verse on a Class?
How do you get off being crass?
Go on, lim'rick buddy,
Take this chance to study,
I'd feel guilty if you don't pass.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
My best work I'll admit 'twas not
With contradictions of nonfiction 'twas fraught.
I butchered Bill Yeats,
Mr. Joyce, the same fate
And Fred Owens, let's say he I shot.
One note on my lim'ricks, pronounced:
Some rhymes, my accents would trounce.
To rhyme not with fraught
Is such a sour thought
That, home, my efforts would be denounced.
My best work I'll admit 'twas not
With contradictions of nonfiction 'twas fraught.
I butchered Bill Yeats,
Mr. Joyce, the same fate
And Fred Owens, let's say he I shot.
One note on my lim'ricks, pronounced:
Some rhymes, my accents would trounce.
To rhyme not with fraught
Is such a sour thought
That, home, my efforts would be denounced.
krisos
+4 -0
Somewhere deep beneath a comic strip
In the wretched, infrequented bowels of the 'net
Two fools duel in puns and quips
Their rhymes dig trenches against each other, set
Armed with limricks, cheap rhymes, the haiku form,
They lunge at cyber-jugulars to kill
enemies for crimes forgotten; to scorn
Those whose words a void within themselves fill
A joke may be as controversial as the fuhrer,
Furor pouring from your very soul,
But verse, pun, and situational humor
Need not take such a hefty toll;
While a joke is innocent as a lacy frill,
A poor response has capacity to kill
Somewhere deep beneath a comic strip
In the wretched, infrequented bowels of the 'net
Two fools duel in puns and quips
Their rhymes dig trenches against each other, set
Armed with limricks, cheap rhymes, the haiku form,
They lunge at cyber-jugulars to kill
enemies for crimes forgotten; to scorn
Those whose words a void within themselves fill
A joke may be as controversial as the fuhrer,
Furor pouring from your very soul,
But verse, pun, and situational humor
Need not take such a hefty toll;
While a joke is innocent as a lacy frill,
A poor response has capacity to kill
actualtaunt
+8 -0
you might appreciate this PALINdrome:
Wasilla's all I saw
you might appreciate this PALINdrome:
Wasilla's all I saw
nickb285
+0 -0
I just want to say that this entire discussion--puns, limericks, and all--may well be the greatest thing in my entire life, and now I can die happy, though well out of chubbies. Thank you to all participants, from the bottom of my heart.
I just want to say that this entire discussion--puns, limericks, and all--may well be the greatest thing in my entire life, and now I can die happy, though well out of chubbies. Thank you to all participants, from the bottom of my heart.
actualtaunt
+3 -0
Wordplay is what keeps me alive
And on punning I know I can thrive
Without hesitation
This poems dedication:
To nick b two-eighty-five
Wordplay is what keeps me alive
And on punning I know I can thrive
Without hesitation
This poems dedication:
To nick b two-eighty-five
nickb285
+0 -0
I love you, forever.
I love you, forever.
sje46
+0 -0
You get a chubby for making me laugh.
[This story is humorous, by the way.]
You get a chubby for making me laugh.
[This story is humorous, by the way.]
speccer
+1 -0
Laughter resulting from humor? Unfathomable.
Laughter resulting from humor? Unfathomable.
stereo
+0 -0
I find more difficulty understanding visual puns than audible ones.
And I'm having trouble thinking of a joke I thought was genuinely funny that didn't involve a pun. Situational humour is all very well but it generally doesn't translate into a joke unless it's a good pun.
I find more difficulty understanding visual puns than audible ones.
And I'm having trouble thinking of a joke I thought was genuinely funny that didn't involve a pun. Situational humour is all very well but it generally doesn't translate into a joke unless it's a good pun.
tripleg
+8 -0
When I was at UC Santa Cruz, an acquaintance of mine working towards her doctorate in Marine Biology told us about a prof she had had while undergradding at UCSD.
It seems the fellow was doing research on extending the life of porpoises. He found that by feeding them sea-gulls, the lives of porpoises, no matter how close to being extinguished, could be prolonged... indefinitely.
Now, about this time, the lions kept in the world-famous San Diego Zoo staged a daring escape, but I'll get back to that.
That same day the lions escaped, the prof had run low on seagull carcasses, and made a run down to the beach to retrieve more. He, in fact, heard about the daring lion escape on the radio as he drove down, but noted the warning against approaching them only discursively. Well, he'd pretty much wiped out the seagull population at most of the local beaches, and so had to travel further afield than usual, but, near the peak of the afternoon, was able to collect enough to feed his sea-cows for the rest of the week.
When the good prof returned to his lab, what do you think he found but those very same lions asleep across the threshold of the very door he needed to enter in order to access his lab.
He recalled the warning from the radio earlier in the day, but, as he was the adventurous sort, and as his animals had not been fed, which could lead to their death, to the failure of his experiment, and from there to that most feared of academic hells: loss of funding, he decided to risk it.
He slowly crept up to the lions, but those lions, they were fast asleep. He quietly unlocked the door, and the lions, they remained asleep. He silently picked up the bag of birds and, just as he was stepping over the kingly cats, the police jumped out of the bushes.
"Freeze," they yelled.
"What is my crime?" He asked.
The cops were silent for awhile until a detective, with a roguish smile, replied: " transporting gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises !"
Bring on the lames!
When I was at UC Santa Cruz, an acquaintance of mine working towards her doctorate in Marine Biology told us about a prof she had had while undergradding at UCSD.
It seems the fellow was doing research on extending the life of porpoises. He found that by feeding them sea-gulls, the lives of porpoises, no matter how close to being extinguished, could be prolonged... indefinitely.
Now, about this time, the lions kept in the world-famous San Diego Zoo staged a daring escape, but I'll get back to that.
That same day the lions escaped, the prof had run low on seagull carcasses, and made a run down to the beach to retrieve more. He, in fact, heard about the daring lion escape on the radio as he drove down, but noted the warning against approaching them only discursively. Well, he'd pretty much wiped out the seagull population at most of the local beaches, and so had to travel further afield than usual, but, near the peak of the afternoon, was able to collect enough to feed his sea-cows for the rest of the week.
When the good prof returned to his lab, what do you think he found but those very same lions asleep across the threshold of the very door he needed to enter in order to access his lab.
He recalled the warning from the radio earlier in the day, but, as he was the adventurous sort, and as his animals had not been fed, which could lead to their death, to the failure of his experiment, and from there to that most feared of academic hells: loss of funding, he decided to risk it.
He slowly crept up to the lions, but those lions, they were fast asleep. He quietly unlocked the door, and the lions, they remained asleep. He silently picked up the bag of birds and, just as he was stepping over the kingly cats, the police jumped out of the bushes.
"Freeze," they yelled.
"What is my crime?" He asked.
The cops were silent for awhile until a detective, with a roguish smile, replied: " transporting gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises !"
Bring on the lames!
tekende
+0 -0
Sea-cows are not porpoises.
Sea-cows are not porpoises.
kamet
+0 -0
dingdingding
dingdingding
tripleg
+1 -0
is there some way i can possibly pin that gross factual error on bbcode?
is there some way i can possibly pin that gross factual error on bbcode?
aperson
+0 -0
It's good, tripLeg, but it's no "Titanic Verses of Salmon Rusty".
It's good, tripLeg, but it's no "Titanic Verses of Salmon Rusty".
stereo
+0 -0
Better Nate than lever!
Better Nate than lever!
speccer
+0 -0
I read that in another post somewhere, and I could not bring myself to think it was all for that shitty pun.
I read that in another post somewhere, and I could not bring myself to think it was all for that shitty pun.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Isn't it that joke that's like 10 pages long? I read it on another forum and it took up 3 full pages.
Isn't it that joke that's like 10 pages long? I read it on another forum and it took up 3 full pages.
stereo
+0 -0
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, static, KaMeT, falseprophet, rowboat, ActualTaunt, Methadone, tragicone)
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, static, KaMeT, falseprophet, rowboat, ActualTaunt, Methadone, tragicone)
spinynorman
+0 -0
A little long?!
A little long?!
rowboat
+2 -0
Even spinynorman thought this was too long.
Even spinynorman thought this was too long.
speccer
+0 -0
Don't clutter up Assetbar like that, stereo. If I might suggest, a link would work much better next time.
Don't clutter up Assetbar like that, stereo. If I might suggest, a link would work much better next time.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Hmm. True. Chubbied.
Hmm. True. Chubbied.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Still, I took the half hour to read that a few years ago and in its unfulfillingness, it was so fulfilling.
Still, I took the half hour to read that a few years ago and in its unfulfillingness, it was so fulfilling.
sje46
+0 -0
I'll read this later.
Prepare for massive lames, man. Prepare.
I'll read this later.
Prepare for massive lames, man. Prepare.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah, you should have just published that shit in a separate book.
Yeah, you should have just published that shit in a separate book.
tragicone
+0 -0
Usually every time I see anything this long posted on asset, the person immediately gets ignored. But stereo, you are usually okay, so I forgive.
Usually every time I see anything this long posted on asset, the person immediately gets ignored. But stereo, you are usually okay, so I forgive.
stereo
+0 -0
I was using a text editor to replace all the quotes Assbar can't understand and I still missed some...
Anyway, it only showed up as about 250 lines long in there cause of lack of wordwrap.
I was using a text editor to replace all the quotes Assbar can't understand and I still missed some...
Anyway, it only showed up as about 250 lines long in there cause of lack of wordwrap.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i actually heard this one in variation in a PDQ Bach piece.
the porpoises were gettin' their bone on like mad and the head lady of said World tells the new guy to get baby seagulls whose flesh acts as an antiaphrodisiac, changing the punchline to 'transporting young gulls'
but most of all, this joke is much funnier when sang in an opera.
i actually heard this one in variation in a PDQ Bach piece.
the porpoises were gettin' their bone on like mad and the head lady of said World tells the new guy to get baby seagulls whose flesh acts as an antiaphrodisiac, changing the punchline to 'transporting young gulls'
but most of all, this joke is much funnier when sang in an opera.
perilon
+0 -0
Hell yes, PDQ Bach. I even want to say "PDQ Bach FTW" but then I remember where I am posting. Oedipus Tex and Other Choral Calamities is my favorite album; what's yours?
Hell yes, PDQ Bach. I even want to say "PDQ Bach FTW" but then I remember where I am posting. Oedipus Tex and Other Choral Calamities is my favorite album; what's yours?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I am a really, really big fan of "the Seasonings" and "Iphigenia at Brooklyn."
You, sir, are a gentleman
I am a really, really big fan of "the Seasonings" and "Iphigenia at Brooklyn."
You, sir, are a gentleman
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
The 1812 Overture And Other Musical Assaults . then again, these two albums are the only ones i have (or have ever heard) of his.
the Classical rap song on Oedipus Tex is rad, too.
The 1812 Overture And Other Musical Assaults . then again, these two albums are the only ones i have (or have ever heard) of his.
the Classical rap song on Oedipus Tex is rad, too.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
You are also a Gentleman.
For Christmas, my present was a DVD of his "Houston, we have a problem" concert. His rounds are bad ass.
You are also a Gentleman.
For Christmas, my present was a DVD of his "Houston, we have a problem" concert. His rounds are bad ass.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i think i'm going to make my mother's ringtone the 'howdyhowdyhowdyhowdyhowdyhowdy' part from Tex. she's a big fan of it all, too.
i think i'm going to make my mother's ringtone the 'howdyhowdyhowdyhowdyhowdyhowdy' part from Tex. she's a big fan of it all, too.
perilon
+0 -0
Do it!! My brother once went through a phase where he created comical/creative answering machine messages, and one of them was that line! "Well, howdy howdy howdy howdy howdy howdy! Please leave a message after the tone."
Do it!! My brother once went through a phase where he created comical/creative answering machine messages, and one of them was that line! "Well, howdy howdy howdy howdy howdy howdy! Please leave a message after the tone."
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
my voicemail for the past several years has been the opening guitar riff from Face To Face's "I Won't Lie Down" and me screaming 'blahhhhh, leave a messaaaaage' all hardcore over it.
not very professional for when my jobs call me asking where i am for work...but i like it a lot.
my voicemail for the past several years has been the opening guitar riff from Face To Face's "I Won't Lie Down" and me screaming 'blahhhhh, leave a messaaaaage' all hardcore over it.
not very professional for when my jobs call me asking where i am for work...but i like it a lot.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
also, i did make it her ringtone. i have to go back and boost the volume up a bit on the file, though. hurray for not having to pay $2.99 for 30 seconds of a song i already own.
also, i did make it her ringtone. i have to go back and boost the volume up a bit on the file, though. hurray for not having to pay $2.99 for 30 seconds of a song i already own.
breastman
+0 -0
I too agree that it's good but certainly not up to the level of the soliloquies of "Dr. Manflesh desires anal play immediately"...
I too agree that it's good but certainly not up to the level of the soliloquies of "Dr. Manflesh desires anal play immediately"...
redphillip
+0 -0
And you diss my convoluted grammar! You post is, however, much funnier and that forgives nearly everything in Achewood.
And you diss my convoluted grammar! You post is, however, much funnier and that forgives nearly everything in Achewood.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
no chance of EVER wiping out seagull populations at local beaches. hideous birds.
no chance of EVER wiping out seagull populations at local beaches. hideous birds.
jujubeesforjesus
+0 -0
I heard it with mina birds. And his crime, it was transporting minas across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
I heard it with mina birds. And his crime, it was transporting minas across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
jujubeesforjesus
+0 -0
Blast!
Blast!
speccer
+0 -0
[These brackets.]
This is BBCode, not HTML.
[These brackets.]
This is BBCode, not HTML.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh you mean these brackets.
[ ]
Imagine they get progressively smaller until they disappear.
Oh you mean these brackets.
[ ]
Imagine they get progressively smaller until they disappear.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
These brackets [knives]?
These brackets [knives]?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Puns and self punishment? Sounds about right. . .
Puns and self punishment? Sounds about right. . .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Puns and Prejudice.
Puns and Prejudice.
pogo
+1 -0
"Pun" is short for "punishment."
"Pun" is short for "punishment."
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Yeah he is pretty much living the high life right now. Swedish pancakes, soap-box derby racing without having to hear a father's disappointed sighs, fun company, and best of all, a nap with cuddles.
Yeah he is pretty much living the high life right now. Swedish pancakes, soap-box derby racing without having to hear a father's disappointed sighs, fun company, and best of all, a nap with cuddles.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Maximum Cuddles
Maximum Cuddles
qwerty
+1 -1
Cornelius Bear: Gets shit done
Cornelius Bear: Gets shit done
tragicone
+0 -1
Oh wow, this is really very joyful. like, connie is in love with a stripper!
Oh wow, this is really very joyful. like, connie is in love with a stripper!
nothingxs
+9 -0
Cornelius looks like he's lost 50 years at the end.
Cornelius looks like he's lost 50 years at the end.
j-man
+4 -0
No kidding. At first glance I thought that was Teodor in bed and was wondering how exactly that fit into context with the rest of the strip.
No kidding. At first glance I thought that was Teodor in bed and was wondering how exactly that fit into context with the rest of the strip.
likeiwassaying
+0 -0
me too.
me too.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Dittos
Dittos
storableprawn
+1 -0
For a single, extremely misguided moment, I thought it was Teodor in bed with Molly.
Teodor wants to bang Molly in so many ways.
For a single, extremely misguided moment, I thought it was Teodor in bed with Molly.
Teodor wants to bang Molly in so many ways.
omegatron
+0 -0
Me too.
Me too.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
thirded.
thirded.
falseprophet
+0 -0
SO many whales.
SO many whales.
magreaux_dogg
+0 -0
Really? I thought it was Leander!
Really? I thought it was Leander!
qwerty
+0 -0
Same here. For a split second I thought it was a crazy cutaway to Molly and Teodor. That's kind of been hinted at previously but still. Mind. blown
Same here. For a split second I thought it was a crazy cutaway to Molly and Teodor. That's kind of been hinted at previously but still. Mind. blown
rowboat
+0 -0
I think after Onstad drew it he kind of looked away for a minute and then - pow! - he saw that too and was freaked out enough by it that he had to draw Cornelius' glasses on the night stand just to stop shaking.
I think after Onstad drew it he kind of looked away for a minute and then - pow! - he saw that too and was freaked out enough by it that he had to draw Cornelius' glasses on the night stand just to stop shaking.
rexsjain
+0 -0
Happiness does that to you, youthful uncaring happiness.
Happiness does that to you, youthful uncaring happiness.
fermatprime
+1 -0
So much happiness, happiness and love.
So much happiness, happiness and love.
speccer
+0 -0
And life. Love, life, and happiness.
And life. Love, life, and happiness.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
It's all in the pince nez, friends.
It's all in the pince nez, friends.
aperson
+1 -0
Dyou mean the type of glasses, or the sex position?
Dyou mean the type of glasses, or the sex position?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Both. Pince nez with a pince nez. I'm a kinky one.
Both. Pince nez with a pince nez. I'm a kinky one.
sje46
+0 -0
The man has taste.
The man has taste.
mista_b
+0 -0
Cornelius is powered by sex. Considering the last time he had sex was /so long/ ago, he is ready for a lot of sex.
Sex sex sex.
Cornelius is powered by sex. Considering the last time he had sex was /so long/ ago, he is ready for a lot of sex.
Sex sex sex.
metatronatra
+9 -0
I bet next time, he takes her rowing and lets her wear his old university sweater to keep her warm against the chill of coming autumn.
I bet next time, he takes her rowing and lets her wear his old university sweater to keep her warm against the chill of coming autumn.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
All quietly humming Danny Boy, all watching a sepia tone sunset, laying in the grass looking up at the falling leaves as a string ensemble picks up where he was humming...
The camera panning up slowly as fireworks light up a 15 stripe american flag...
All quietly humming Danny Boy, all watching a sepia tone sunset, laying in the grass looking up at the falling leaves as a string ensemble picks up where he was humming...
The camera panning up slowly as fireworks light up a 15 stripe american flag...
metatronatra
+1 -0
Possibly a union Jack as well, given Cornelius's Anglo-Saxon pedigree
Possibly a union Jack as well, given Cornelius's Anglo-Saxon pedigree
actualtaunt
+1 -0
He's Humming Hail Britannia... All wearing his old real bomber jacket, with his lucky shrapnel..
He's Humming Hail Britannia... All wearing his old real bomber jacket, with his lucky shrapnel..
metatronatra
+2 -0
When I hear "High Hopes" by Pink Floyd, Cornelius springs instantly to mind
When I hear "High Hopes" by Pink Floyd, Cornelius springs instantly to mind
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Insert sappy scene from The Notebook here. (One with him as a geezer, and her nice and young.)
Insert sappy scene from The Notebook here. (One with him as a geezer, and her nice and young.)
hamscout
+1 -0
I thought of the original Sabrina ...
Either the boat scene, or Bogart wearing his college sweater..
I thought of the original Sabrina ...
Either the boat scene, or Bogart wearing his college sweater..
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Oh hey look it's Audrey Hepburn. Hi Audrey Hepburn.
Oh hey look it's Audrey Hepburn. Hi Audrey Hepburn.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
OH MAN I LOVE AUDREY HEPBURN.
Dear friends,
if you like Audrey Hepburn and Achewood at the same time, that makes me in love with you.
Have a nice day.
OH MAN I LOVE AUDREY HEPBURN.
Dear friends,
if you like Audrey Hepburn and Achewood at the same time, that makes me in love with you.
Have a nice day.
sje46
+0 -0
I like both of them!
I like both of them!
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Well, you know what that means!
Well, you know what that means!
sje46
+0 -0
Oh hee hee!
I finally has someone who loves me!
Does that mean we're friends? I never had one before.
Oh hee hee!
I finally has someone who loves me!
Does that mean we're friends? I never had one before.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't know how I feel about you but I basically love Audrey Hepburn.
I don't know how I feel about you but I basically love Audrey Hepburn.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
You can hate me and hope that I smell bad forever as long as you like Audrey Hepburn.
You can hate me and hope that I smell bad forever as long as you like Audrey Hepburn.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Then it's settled. You stink and Audrey Hepburn is a beautiful lady and a pretty decent actress.
Then it's settled. You stink and Audrey Hepburn is a beautiful lady and a pretty decent actress.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Oh, okay. Thanks for taking the high road.
Oh, okay. Thanks for taking the high road.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You told me to.
You told me to.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Oh, yes. Well then. Carry on.
Oh, yes. Well then. Carry on.
tripleg
+0 -0
katherine hepburn is also pretty cool
katherine hepburn is also pretty cool
autrepoupee
+0 -0
fuck YES some katherine hepburn love for once!
fuck YES some katherine hepburn love for once!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But no where near as pretty.
But no where near as pretty.
tripleg
+1 -0
but i have never seen audrey recite hiawatha with authority
but i have never seen audrey recite hiawatha with authority
tragicone
+0 -0
psssh, I prefer Katharine Hepburn.
Audrey is ok. What about Breakfast at Tiffany's? You said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
psssh, I prefer Katharine Hepburn.
Audrey is ok. What about Breakfast at Tiffany's? You said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Let's here it for early 90s alt-rock.
Darling don't you go and cut your hair.
Let's here it for early 90s alt-rock.
Darling don't you go and cut your hair.
fineoakstructure
+0 -1
DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING REPLY TO A POST THAT QUOTES DEEP BLUE fucking SOMETHING WITH A PAVEMENT LYRIC EVER AGAIN.
Sorry, nice on water, but you touched a nerve: you tried to connect, if even in a minor way, my favorite band (Pavement) with one of the shittiest songs ever written (Breakfast at Tiffany's). I don't have an icon with a bald eagle crying in front of the American flag, but I would be completely within my rights to use it if I had one.
And both of those songs were mid-90's.
DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING REPLY TO A POST THAT QUOTES DEEP BLUE fucking SOMETHING WITH A PAVEMENT LYRIC EVER AGAIN.
Sorry, nice on water, but you touched a nerve: you tried to connect, if even in a minor way, my favorite band (Pavement) with one of the shittiest songs ever written (Breakfast at Tiffany's). I don't have an icon with a bald eagle crying in front of the American flag, but I would be completely within my rights to use it if I had one.
And both of those songs were mid-90's.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't apologize, because those two songs are inseparable in my mind because growing up I had an older cousin that always played these songs together and for extended periods of time. I regret nothing. This is SOMETHING that goes DEEPer than that. BLUE.
And, yes, I guess '94 and '96 do count as mid-, but I was only 5 and 7 at the time, respectively, so in my IGNORANT, NAIVE,(<-oxford comma) AND IMMATURE mindset, that's my early life and I sometimes connect early life with early nineties.
I don't apologize, because those two songs are inseparable in my mind because growing up I had an older cousin that always played these songs together and for extended periods of time. I regret nothing. This is SOMETHING that goes DEEPer than that. BLUE.
And, yes, I guess '94 and '96 do count as mid-, but I was only 5 and 7 at the time, respectively, so in my IGNORANT, NAIVE,(<-oxford comma) AND IMMATURE mindset, that's my early life and I sometimes connect early life with early nineties.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Comparing Pavement to Deep Blue Something is like comparing Deep Blue to pavement.
Anyways, you should regret it. And you will regret it .
There's just so much to regret in life. I try to not let a day go by without regretting something I did. It's just a little way to remind you that, "hey, you're alive today! And being alive is a horrible thing to achieve, every second of every god damn day." This is why people often see me yelling at myself in my car.
Comparing Pavement to Deep Blue Something is like comparing Deep Blue to pavement.
Anyways, you should regret it. And you will regret it .
There's just so much to regret in life. I try to not let a day go by without regretting something I did. It's just a little way to remind you that, "hey, you're alive today! And being alive is a horrible thing to achieve, every second of every god damn day." This is why people often see me yelling at myself in my car.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm [sorry] you feel that way about [the thing I did]
I regret so much, but not that. Don't worry, there's plenty of self-loathing going on here.
I'm [sorry] you feel that way about [the thing I did]
I regret so much, but not that. Don't worry, there's plenty of self-loathing going on here.
sje46
+0 -0
Every single thing both of you like is lame. All of it!
[Except Achewood. And me, if you happen to like me.]
Every single thing both of you like is lame. All of it!
[Except Achewood. And me, if you happen to like me.]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You, sir, are a fool.
You, sir, are a fool.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Hey
Assetbar Philippe
Shove it!
Hey
Assetbar Philippe
Shove it!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Tell him to sit on a fig! He'll wish he didn't!
Tell him to sit on a fig! He'll wish he didn't!
rowboat
+1 -0
Dear sje46,
I have a feeling that you're joking, but I can't tell for sure.
Let me just say this much - though I often feel the need to jab my finger into your ribs when you speak, I don't really have a problem with you. I'm just having a laugh. But in regards to your comment - I really don't know how lame you are or if you're even that lame at all. But regardless of how lame you are or are not, even if it's just a little, tiny bit, I guarantee that you are lamer than Pavement.
Just trust me on this.
Dear sje46,
I have a feeling that you're joking, but I can't tell for sure.
Let me just say this much - though I often feel the need to jab my finger into your ribs when you speak, I don't really have a problem with you. I'm just having a laugh. But in regards to your comment - I really don't know how lame you are or if you're even that lame at all. But regardless of how lame you are or are not, even if it's just a little, tiny bit, I guarantee that you are lamer than Pavement.
Just trust me on this.
sje46
+0 -0
I was joking. I am sure that we like a lot of things that are the same. But I never heard of Pavement. I'm sorry. Perhaps as a sign of goodwill you can link me some good songs by them.
I bet I'm more lame than most people in fact. :(
I was joking. I am sure that we like a lot of things that are the same. But I never heard of Pavement. I'm sorry. Perhaps as a sign of goodwill you can link me some good songs by them.
I bet I'm more lame than most people in fact. :(
rowboat
+0 -0
I am bad at innernet, so I'm not entirely sure how to link you to certain songs (it's hilarious, I know). But as my show of goodwill I will tell you that you may want to start with an album entitled Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. It's probably the best thing that happened in the 1990s, musically or otherwise. Only me getting my first blowjob in that same decade had more impact on the world as we know it today.
The album is available on the net webs, of course, as is my first blowjob.
I am bad at innernet, so I'm not entirely sure how to link you to certain songs (it's hilarious, I know). But as my show of goodwill I will tell you that you may want to start with an album entitled Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. It's probably the best thing that happened in the 1990s, musically or otherwise. Only me getting my first blowjob in that same decade had more impact on the world as we know it today.
The album is available on the net webs, of course, as is my first blowjob.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Rowboat, look what you did! It takes a village; sje46 needs to be nurtured by us, especially in the ways of lameness versus coolness! We're like his collective hip uncle!
the best side of their best album .
Rowboat, look what you did! It takes a village; sje46 needs to be nurtured by us, especially in the ways of lameness versus coolness! We're like his collective hip uncle!
the best side of their best album .
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Huh? You kooky kids. Shoot the Singer wasn't on the actual S E, nor were any of those songs. If you're saying Watery D is the best album, c'mon nerd, it's an EP.
But it's possibly my favorite Pavement song. Good on ya.
Huh? You kooky kids. Shoot the Singer wasn't on the actual S E, nor were any of those songs. If you're saying Watery D is the best album, c'mon nerd, it's an EP.
But it's possibly my favorite Pavement song. Good on ya.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
awww shucks, where do I turn in my indie points? Sorry sje, I did not mean to fill your malleable li'l noggin with misinformation! But yeah, those three songs are my tops for Pavement.
awww shucks, where do I turn in my indie points? Sorry sje, I did not mean to fill your malleable li'l noggin with misinformation! But yeah, those three songs are my tops for Pavement.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You little scamps with mp3's all willy nilly, no clue from whence they came. Like kids in a candy store, you fail to respect the history...of the candy store (?). That's what you get for not stopping all the downloading.
Sue Me Jack and So Stark (You're a Skyscraper) are the b-sides from the Trigger Cut single.
You little scamps with mp3's all willy nilly, no clue from whence they came. Like kids in a candy store, you fail to respect the history...of the candy store (?). That's what you get for not stopping all the downloading.
Sue Me Jack and So Stark (You're a Skyscraper) are the b-sides from the Trigger Cut single.
tripleg
+0 -0
oh get over it. deep blue wasn't that bad and your sacred cow is someone else's big mac pattie
oh get over it. deep blue wasn't that bad and your sacred cow is someone else's big mac pattie
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
To clarify: I do not have any issues with the chess playing computer "Deep Blue."
And, while my hatred of Deep Blue Something's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is entirely sincere and not exagerrated (it makes me angrier than a capella music), my jibes at nice-on-water were mostly in jest.
g-g-get over it yourself.
To clarify: I do not have any issues with the chess playing computer "Deep Blue."
And, while my hatred of Deep Blue Something's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is entirely sincere and not exagerrated (it makes me angrier than a capella music), my jibes at nice-on-water were mostly in jest.
g-g-get over it yourself.
rowboat
+0 -0
What your older cousin did to you was worse than three hundred butthole touchings. I'm sorry.
What your older cousin did to you was worse than three hundred butthole touchings. I'm sorry.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
She was like 12 or thereabouts so really, it's not like she was smart or anything. She still isn't. But 12 year olds are especially unsmart.
She was like 12 or thereabouts so really, it's not like she was smart or anything. She still isn't. But 12 year olds are especially unsmart.
tekende
+0 -0
That is my favorite Pavement song.
That is my favorite Pavement song.
tekende
+1 -0
Good lord, this is so far away from the original comment that not even Sarah Palin can see it from her house.
Good lord, this is so far away from the original comment that not even Sarah Palin can see it from her house.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
McCain will follow the source of this thread to the gates of hell.
*POLITICS*
McCain will follow the source of this thread to the gates of hell.
*POLITICS*
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Did someone say politics?
Did someone say politics?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It was a toss up between this and the George Bush beaker one, then I remembered the effort it takes to type in marriedtothe::sigh::sea.com and search the archives and I thought better of it.
It was a toss up between this and the George Bush beaker one, then I remembered the effort it takes to type in marriedtothe::sigh::sea.com and search the archives and I thought better of it.
pogo
+0 -0
They're both too skinny for me. No meat, no hard-on, like my Chicago uncle used to say. (Actually, he used "tits" as his qualifier.)
They're both too skinny for me. No meat, no hard-on, like my Chicago uncle used to say. (Actually, he used "tits" as his qualifier.)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Man, of all people...
CUZ UR OLD
No but seriously, old school classy ladies like that don't do it, huh?
Man, of all people...
CUZ UR OLD
No but seriously, old school classy ladies like that don't do it, huh?
perilon
+0 -0
Audrey Hepburn: Greatest actress from The Day, with stunningest hair.
Audrey Hepburn: Greatest actress from The Day, with stunningest hair.
bjorntd
+1 -0
I'd basically assume that the population that likes Achewood and the population that likes the Hepburns and the population that likes making categorical statements and Venn diagrams have a large intersection.
I'd basically assume that the population that likes Achewood and the population that likes the Hepburns and the population that likes making categorical statements and Venn diagrams have a large intersection.
tragicone
+2 -0
Uncharted Territory for me here folks, be kind.
Uncharted Territory for me here folks, be kind.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Consider me a Perhapsian.
Consider me a Perhapsian.
lavienoir
+0 -0
So...what was in the now-empty hanging bags? And what's hanging over stall door #24 after their departure? Damn you and your inscrutable non-clues, Onstad!
So...what was in the now-empty hanging bags? And what's hanging over stall door #24 after their departure? Damn you and your inscrutable non-clues, Onstad!
lavienoir
+2 -0
Er, wait, I guess the things hanging over the stall door are the empty bags. Maybe they held the helmets?
Er, wait, I guess the things hanging over the stall door are the empty bags. Maybe they held the helmets?
hexjumper
+0 -0
Probably ballast, to give the soapbox car speed on the downslope. Note that they're different sizes, so you can determine how fast your car will go.
Probably ballast, to give the soapbox car speed on the downslope. Note that they're different sizes, so you can determine how fast your car will go.
slem
+0 -0
The helmets were in the bags.. and the empty bags are now hanging over the stall door.. duh!
The helmets were in the bags.. and the empty bags are now hanging over the stall door.. duh!
21echoes
+0 -0
they were two helmets, and that which remains hanging over stall door #24 is the two bags the helmets were in
they were two helmets, and that which remains hanging over stall door #24 is the two bags the helmets were in
krisos
+0 -0
I think those are the helmets they opted to wear, which, considering that slope looks like it's around a 30% grade, was probably a good call.
I think those are the helmets they opted to wear, which, considering that slope looks like it's around a 30% grade, was probably a good call.
perilon
+7 -0
The things hanging over the stall door are the empty bags. The helmets were in the bags. There were two of them -- two helmets. The helmets were in two bags; two helmets, two bags. The two empty bags the helmets were held in now remain hanging over stall door #24. The helmets were held therein; there were two of them.
The things hanging over the stall door are the empty bags. The helmets were in the bags. There were two of them -- two helmets. The helmets were in two bags; two helmets, two bags. The two empty bags the helmets were held in now remain hanging over stall door #24. The helmets were held therein; there were two of them.
hamscout
+4 -0
On the road from The Cheetah Room,
I romanced a dancer with unused womb.
The soapbox slot held double sacks,
And in the sacks, protective hats.
A hat from a sack, and a womb in our room.
Which of these, then, will foretell my doom?
(*Read in the accent of the villain from 'Die Hard With A Vengeance')
On the road from The Cheetah Room,
I romanced a dancer with unused womb.
The soapbox slot held double sacks,
And in the sacks, protective hats.
A hat from a sack, and a womb in our room.
Which of these, then, will foretell my doom?
(*Read in the accent of the villain from 'Die Hard With A Vengeance')
speccer
+1 -0
It looked more like it should have been read like a Dr. Seuss story.
It looked more like it should have been read like a Dr. Seuss story.
tragicone
+0 -0
Christ, man. how many replies can one get about a pair of bags?
Christ, man. how many replies can one get about a pair of bags?
pyromancer
+1 -0
If there's two empty helmet bags on the walk-in
Don't come a knockin'
If there's two empty helmet bags on the walk-in
Don't come a knockin'
actualtaunt
+4 -0
Just for me, could some more people please answer this nice Achewoodian's question? Because I don't think that I could possibly understand the bags unless like, I dunno, 40 more people tell us. Manflesh, I'm looking at you.
Maybe AIU could decorate the Global Ignore list with
-THo-__se--
--Bag_s-held--xXx-Teh--
--HelmE--ts---
__-THEY_Re -- HAnging__-
--OvER --_ TEH--
-THAT_AIU_TWAT-
--NEXT_STALL xXx__'
I think that's what it would take to get the point across to me
Just for me, could some more people please answer this nice Achewoodian's question? Because I don't think that I could possibly understand the bags unless like, I dunno, 40 more people tell us. Manflesh, I'm looking at you.
Maybe AIU could decorate the Global Ignore list with
-THo-__se--
--Bag_s-held--xXx-Teh--
--HelmE--ts---
__-THEY_Re -- HAnging__-
--OvER --_ TEH--
-THAT_AIU_TWAT-
--NEXT_STALL xXx__'
I think that's what it would take to get the point across to me
perilon
+0 -0
Or if you want I can run the whole "bags" concept by you again. Personally it's the "helmets" idea that really gave me pause. And don't get me started on "in."
Or if you want I can run the whole "bags" concept by you again. Personally it's the "helmets" idea that really gave me pause. And don't get me started on "in."
whoisspain
+3 -0
The bags were actually Keyser Soze. The helmets had made everything up.
The bags were actually Keyser Soze. The helmets had made everything up.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
YES.
give me the keys, you fairy godmother.
YES.
give me the keys, you fairy godmother.
lechatbotte
+4 -0
You forgot the ten page explanation by yours truly, including an essay on the material of the bags and helmets, and a full review of the implications in ancient writings of "two to one" logic, combined with the obvious numerological significance of three and twenty-three. I would end with a.
The comment would be followed by gibberish by Gladi to the effect that I am basically one fucked up dude.
Aperson would chip in that that was OK, and Hedo would bring up a whole new level of symbology surrounding "bags" and "helmets", and their use in raping unconcious girls in his basement.
Not to be left out, fooker would show up to describe the helmet he wore when he had sex in the airport bathroom (seriously, I've seen airport bathrooms - eck!).
Soon, Acheman (Achilleselbow) would show up to deliver some will placed insight into the Cosacks' use of helmets when raping villagers, which would only stir up Hedo into a lather. If we are extreemely lucky, this would be Loneal's cue to point out the raping is likely anti-feminist. etc, etc, etc.
Or, we could just leave that there, and invite la-vie-en-rouge-et-noir to consider that he was one of three people who did not get what the bags were about, and the other two thank him for bringing it up, since now they get it without having to be noticed.
You forgot the ten page explanation by yours truly, including an essay on the material of the bags and helmets, and a full review of the implications in ancient writings of "two to one" logic, combined with the obvious numerological significance of three and twenty-three. I would end with a
The comment would be followed by gibberish by Gladi to the effect that I am basically one fucked up dude.
Aperson would chip in that that was OK, and Hedo would bring up a whole new level of symbology surrounding "bags" and "helmets", and their use in raping unconcious girls in his basement.
Not to be left out, fooker would show up to describe the helmet he wore when he had sex in the airport bathroom (seriously, I've seen airport bathrooms - eck!).
Soon, Acheman (Achilleselbow) would show up to deliver some will placed insight into the Cosacks' use of helmets when raping villagers, which would only stir up Hedo into a lather. If we are extreemely lucky, this would be Loneal's cue to point out the raping is likely anti-feminist. etc, etc, etc.
Or, we could just leave that there, and invite la-vie-en-rouge-et-noir to consider that he was one of three people who did not get what the bags were about, and the other two thank him for bringing it up, since now they get it without having to be noticed.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Oh - and I left SJE out of the mix -- to protect the innocent.
Oh - and I left SJE out of the mix -- to protect the innocent.
sje46
+0 -0
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MENTION LONEAL?!?!?
*cries*
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MENTION LONEAL?!?!?
*cries*
hedonismbot
+0 -0
He mentions that because he *IS* loneal! What a twist!
Also, one bag is filled with some knives and the other with a skeleton
He mentions that because he *IS* loneal! What a twist!
Also, one bag is filled with some knives and the other with a skeleton
tekende
+1 -0
What is this, an M. Night Shamallamadingdong movie?
What is this, an M. Night Shamallamadingdong movie?
speccer
+0 -0
The aliens' weakness is... soapbox derby cars!
The aliens' weakness is... soapbox derby cars!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yeah. We all got the Robot Chicken reference.
Yeah. We all got the Robot Chicken reference.
tekende
+0 -0
What Robot Chicken reference?
What Robot Chicken reference?
sje46
+2 -0
Another twist!
Another twist!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I mention Loneal because I miss her! She is one kickin' spitfire gal!
I mention Loneal because I miss her! She is one kickin' spitfire gal!
pogo
+0 -0
Man, why you have to do a thing.
Man, why you have to do a thing.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
loneal is in a coma!
loneal is in a coma!
tekende
+0 -0
hedo's bringing back the classics.
hedo's bringing back the classics.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Huge slam on loneal out of... history!
Huge slam on loneal out of... history!
actualtaunt
+0 -0
You mean the history that I ... boned?
You mean the history that I ... boned?
tekende
+0 -0
Do you mean to say you were married to history because that is a hella weird thing for a friend to say
Do you mean to say you were married to history because that is a hella weird thing for a friend to say
lechatbotte
+0 -1
If Loneal were here, she might point out that it could be her story, not just history.
If Loneal were here, she might point out that it could be her story, not just history.
tekende
+1 -0
Man, will you just pick an icon and stick with it
Man, will you just pick an icon and stick with it
pogo
+0 -0
I'm sort of enjoying his icon album. The chicks are better than the cats, anyway.
I'm sort of enjoying his icon album. The chicks are better than the cats, anyway.
talix18
+1 -0
I know it's serious.
I know it's serious.
octafish
+0 -0
Boo to Steven, boo I say...
Chubby anyway though.
Boo to Steven, boo I say...
Chubby anyway though.
belgand
+0 -0
They also clearly took the helmet from stall #24 as well.
They also clearly took the helmet from stall #24 as well.
rowboat
+0 -0
And then rowboat would show up and tell all of you what you already know which is that
Ya'll some furious nerds.
and then disappear for another four months.
You should be so lucky.
And then rowboat would show up and tell all of you what you already know which is that
Ya'll some furious nerds.
and then disappear for another four months.
You should be so lucky.
grayestnova
+8 -0
I think it is nice that something pleasant has happened to Cornelius.
I mean probably later things will be terrible but this is okay.
I think it is nice that something pleasant has happened to Cornelius.
I mean probably later things will be terrible but this is okay.
pravda
+5 -0
And with this I can sleep peacefully, knowing that somewhere on the internet a stuffed bear got laid. Just maybe everything will be okay for a little while in this crazy world of ours.
And with this I can sleep peacefully, knowing that somewhere on the internet a stuffed bear got laid. Just maybe everything will be okay for a little while in this crazy world of ours.
farqussus
+1 -0
Until Teodor finds out and he kills himself.
Until Teodor finds out and he kills himself.
nursewomanflesh
+1 -0
r-i-s-s-o-t-o
r-i-s-s-o-t-o
emosexy
+2 -0
r-i-s-o-t-t-o
Dictionary, please.
r-i-s-o-t-t-o
Dictionary, please.
farqussus
+0 -0
HE was talking about Frankie Rissoto, the notorious suicider.
HE was talking about Frankie Rissoto, the notorious suicider.
bjorntd
+1 -0
An hero for all of us!
An hero for all of us!
redphillip
+0 -0
Maybe, if a live stuffed bear in an Internet cartoon can get laid, maybe I can too, though in 'RL' and not, please, with a stuffed bear, live or otherwise. Then I would also sleep peacefully. For a little while, until I had to go home and get the dogs' dinner.
Maybe, if a live stuffed bear in an Internet cartoon can get laid, maybe I can too, though in 'RL' and not, please, with a stuffed bear, live or otherwise. Then I would also sleep peacefully. For a little while, until I had to go home and get the dogs' dinner.
krisos
+0 -2
Did cornelius have to take his socks off? This is intense... [panel 7, hanging on the door of soapbox #24]
Did cornelius have to take his socks off? This is intense... [panel 7, hanging on the door of soapbox #24]
c_dizzle
+2 -0
with the looming peril of one of the most decisive presidential elections coming up and my graduate carreer and finances constantly on the fritz - rarely have i felt so warm and content in the past few years as i have when reading the last panels of this strip. bravo, o. bravo.
with the looming peril of one of the most decisive presidential elections coming up and my graduate carreer and finances constantly on the fritz - rarely have i felt so warm and content in the past few years as i have when reading the last panels of this strip. bravo, o. bravo.
krisos
+0 -0
Warm in a nice, fuzzy sort of way? Or warm in a feverish, "oh god did my friend really just have sex with that prostitute and probably contract all sorts of unfortunate conditions", panicky sort of way?
Warm in a nice, fuzzy sort of way? Or warm in a feverish, "oh god did my friend really just have sex with that prostitute and probably contract all sorts of unfortunate conditions", panicky sort of way?
speccer
+1 -0
Do not do this, man. Not now. Do not take us from the heights of ecstasy down into the depths of panic. Do not be a cock to a stranger.
Do not do this, man. Not now. Do not take us from the heights of ecstasy down into the depths of panic. Do not be a cock to a stranger.
tekende
+0 -0
There is a difference between a stripper and a prostitute, you know.
Although it is possible that she is both.
There is a difference between a stripper and a prostitute, you know.
Although it is possible that she is both.
fineoakstructure
+4 -0
Q: What's the difference between a stripper and a prostitute?
A: NONE ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES
Regards,
theirateturk
Q: What's the difference between a stripper and a prostitute?
A: NONE ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES
Regards,
theirateturk
theirateturk
+0 -0
This is actually pretty spot on
This is actually pretty spot on
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
lol gime tem chuppies tehn
lol gime tem chuppies tehn
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Possibly no one else watches The Office here, but last week's episode? So sweet! And today's strip has managed to top it. I am officially both warm AND fuzzy.
Possibly no one else watches The Office here, but last week's episode? So sweet! And today's strip has managed to top it. I am officially both warm AND fuzzy.
sje46
+0 -0
ARG.
I keep forgetting to watch it. And I can't do it now because I have my bedtime. :(
ARG.
I keep forgetting to watch it. And I can't do it now because I have my bedtime. :(
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Poor Philippe! Perhaps when you turn six...?
Poor Philippe! Perhaps when you turn six...?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LOVE THE OFFICE.
LOVE IT.
MOIST.
LOVE THE OFFICE.
LOVE IT.
MOIST.
speccer
+0 -0
Phillipe is immortally five.
Phillipe is immortally five.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Yes, I know. I thought it would be kind of funny to say that because he will never turn six, but sadly, it appears that I was mistaken.
Yes, I know. I thought it would be kind of funny to say that because he will never turn six, but sadly, it appears that I was mistaken.
sje46
+0 -0
I feel like sisyphus.
I feel like sisyphus.
speccer
+1 -0
"Yay it's my birthday! My sixth birthday!"
"No, Phillipe. It is not. It is you fifth birthday."
"Yay it's my birthday! My sixth birthday!"
"No, Phillipe. It is not. It is you fifth birthday."
pogo
+0 -0
Achewood is now 7.
Achewood is now 7.
sje46
+0 -0
But five year olds shouldn't have hair down there.
Unless . . . I'm a freak.
But five year olds shouldn't have hair down there.
Unless . . . I'm a freak.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
You're right. Men don't get hairy feet until they are at least thirty.
You're right. Men don't get hairy feet until they are at least thirty.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Or hobbits
Or hobbits
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
Oh, right. I meant:
Men don't get hairy feet until they are at least thirty or until they are hobbits.
Oh, right. I meant:
Men don't get hairy feet until they are at least thirty or until they are hobbits.
stereo
+0 -0
Hair on the top or the bottom?
I'm pretty sure I have had hair on my feet since I was 11 or so, but it's stuck to the top and toeknuckles.
Hair on the top or the bottom?
I'm pretty sure I have had hair on my feet since I was 11 or so, but it's stuck to the top and toeknuckles.
kamet
+0 -0
dingdingding
dingdingding
elyseface
+0 -0
Possibly the most heartwarming strip ever. I'm way too happy for ol' Connie.
Possibly the most heartwarming strip ever. I'm way too happy for ol' Connie.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I have lived this, albeit with soapbox racing replaced by psychedelic midnight tripping through a little nowhere town... but my apartment was cold, our bed narrow, and she slept warm and exhausted in my arms.
Godspeed, Cornelius, and may you never make my mistakes!
I have lived this, albeit with soapbox racing replaced by psychedelic midnight tripping through a little nowhere town... but my apartment was cold, our bed narrow, and she slept warm and exhausted in my arms.
Godspeed, Cornelius, and may you never make my mistakes!
methadone
+0 -0
I think i saw this on the wire
in a good way
I think i saw this on the wire
in a good way
whoisspain
+0 -0
Everything seen on the wire is inherently good. It is scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.
Everything seen on the wire is inherently good. It is scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Butchie's last moments were not so hot to see, no matter how much heart the man had.
Butchie's last moments were not so hot to see, no matter how much heart the man had.
pogo
+0 -0
Not when they cut the jugular of the Turk in the Second Season. That was not good.
Not when they cut the jugular of the Turk in the Second Season. That was not good.
xerol
+2 -0
I would love panel nine in a wallpaper size.
I would love panel nine in a wallpaper size.
llobstrosity
+4 -0
Escape Velocity was a really cool game.
Escape Velocity was a really cool game.
jonmw
+1 -0
It is an OK game
It is so JARRING to not have a reverse, you know. for those of us who played a lot of Subspace. That asteroids-style multiplayer online game.
Man, it's been a long time since I've been to TW.
It is an OK game
It is so JARRING to not have a reverse, you know. for those of us who played a lot of Subspace. That asteroids-style multiplayer online game.
Man, it's been a long time since I've been to TW.
skoora
+4 -0
She is a fucking SECRET AGENT!
She is a fucking SECRET AGENT!
actualtaunt
+7 -0
"Gentlemen, the skoora project has achieved the intended returns."
"Surely you don't mean..."
"Yes! AVATAR-COMMENT SYNERGY! "
"Gentlemen, the skoora project has achieved the intended returns."
"Surely you don't mean..."
"Yes! AVATAR-COMMENT SYNERGY! "
falseprophet
+0 -0
Especially since Lyle is wearing the glasses that make him look like John Turturro in Quiz Show or The Good Shepherd .
Especially since Lyle is wearing the glasses that make him look like John Turturro in Quiz Show or The Good Shepherd .
kickstart
+0 -0
I'm looking forward to John Turturro in Kickstart
I'm looking forward to John Turturro in Kickstart
hamscout
+0 -0
But did you have a dream where Tuturro paid you to do it?
But did you have a dream where Tuturro paid you to do it?
autrepoupee
+1 -1
fuckin awwwww
I hope they didn't Do It. It would be even cuter if they just fell asleep talking about how much they loved Pretty Woman.
fuckin awwwww
I hope they didn't Do It. It would be even cuter if they just fell asleep talking about how much they loved Pretty Woman.
belgand
+0 -0
Pretty Woman is worst movie. Nothing is cute about discussing something that terrible.
They would have fallen asleep discussing Pygmalion and continuing in this fashion, Ovid.
Pretty Woman is worst movie. Nothing is cute about discussing something that terrible.
They would have fallen asleep discussing Pygmalion and continuing in this fashion, Ovid.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
But see, there is no way that woman is familiar with the story of Pygmalion. The odds are good she's seen Pretty Woman, and Cornelius being a gentlemanly sort, discusses things that she is aware of.
But see, there is no way that woman is familiar with the story of Pygmalion. The odds are good she's seen Pretty Woman, and Cornelius being a gentlemanly sort, discusses things that she is aware of.
wozzeck
+0 -0
For all we know, she's lap dancing her way to a doctorate.
For all we know, she's lap dancing her way to a doctorate.
belgand
+0 -0
It doesn't matter. Pretty Woman is possibly one of the worst films ever made. I mean, it not only has She Who Shall Not Be Named, but it also has Richard "Who Even Cares" Gere in it. It's an updated remake of a remake that tries to make something sexier in the most unnecessary and cheap way possible and also fails to deliver on it as well. Aside from being a remake once-removed it's even an amazingly trite story. Finally it's a fluffy romantic comedy designed to be pointless ephemera. Even the costumes are generally bad.
It is not to be tolerated under any circumstances.
It also seems a bit gauche to discuss something that would parallel their situation like that. I'd think calling attention to her low station in life would be very inappropriate.
It doesn't matter. Pretty Woman is possibly one of the worst films ever made. I mean, it not only has She Who Shall Not Be Named, but it also has Richard "Who Even Cares" Gere in it. It's an updated remake of a remake that tries to make something sexier in the most unnecessary and cheap way possible and also fails to deliver on it as well. Aside from being a remake once-removed it's even an amazingly trite story. Finally it's a fluffy romantic comedy designed to be pointless ephemera. Even the costumes are generally bad.
It is not to be tolerated under any circumstances.
It also seems a bit gauche to discuss something that would parallel their situation like that. I'd think calling attention to her low station in life would be very inappropriate.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
oh yeah, it blows.
Quote:
this explains what happened between me and Ginger Diamond i guess :_(
oh yeah, it blows.
Quote:
It also seems a bit gauche to discuss something that would parallel their situation like that. I'd think calling attention to her low station in life would be very inappropriate.
this explains what happened between me and Ginger Diamond i guess :_(
stereo
+0 -0
That reminds me... is Ginger actually a spice? Or is it an herb?
That reminds me... is Ginger actually a spice? Or is it an herb?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
[img]https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/profile_public?b=M^859e8b0601e678033ab51557a83a11e71[/i]
GINGER IS A WHORE ok that's enough of that
[img]https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/profile_public?b=M^859e8b0601e678033ab51557a83a11e71[/i]
GINGER IS A WHORE ok that's enough of that
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
WELL SHIT
WELL SHIT
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Spice, friendo.
Spice, friendo.
belgand
+0 -0
No. Ginger is an aromatic like garlic or onion. If you're using powdered ginger, however, then yeah I'd say it's roughly a spice.
Herbs are leaves. Spices are dried roots or berries. Basically there are fresh herbs and dried, but there are never "fresh" spices because they're either dry to begin with or are not used in a fresh from (e.g. juniper berries).
No. Ginger is an aromatic like garlic or onion. If you're using powdered ginger, however, then yeah I'd say it's roughly a spice.
Herbs are leaves. Spices are dried roots or berries. Basically there are fresh herbs and dried, but there are never "fresh" spices because they're either dry to begin with or are not used in a fresh from (e.g. juniper berries).
redphillip
+0 -0
If you were a reader of Achewood Fanflow, you'd know that this young woman "reads Nietzsche between turns at the pole and doing duty on the laps of men who don't deserve her attention."
I know, cause I wrote it.
If you were a reader of Achewood Fanflow, you'd know that this young woman "reads Nietzsche between turns at the pole and doing duty on the laps of men who don't deserve her attention."
I know, cause I wrote it.
sje46
+0 -0
Who wrote it? I didn't hear you.
Who wrote it? I didn't hear you.
redphillip
+0 -0
If you were a reader of Achewood Fanflow, you'd know that this young woman "reads Nietzsche between turns at the pole and doing duty on the laps of men who don't deserve her attention."
I know, cause I wrote it.
If you were a reader of Achewood Fanflow, you'd know that this young woman "reads Nietzsche between turns at the pole and doing duty on the laps of men who don't deserve her attention."
I know, cause I wrote it.
sje46
+4 -0
Oh. Okay, thanks! :)
Oh. Okay, thanks! :)
pogo
+0 -0
Very original, lad. The committee has their collective eye on you.
Very original, lad. The committee has their collective eye on you.
sje46
+0 -0
What committee?
Methinks thou art fibbing.
What committee?
Methinks thou art fibbing.
redphillip
+0 -0
Aw Sje, I'm sorry. My mouse is malfunctioning. I plan to get a new one tomorrow. This laptop has one of those touch pad devices, but I hate it, so I make do with the malfing mouse that somehow doubles every click command. It will all be over tomorrow.
Aw Sje, I'm sorry. My mouse is malfunctioning. I plan to get a new one tomorrow. This laptop has one of those touch pad devices, but I hate it, so I make do with the malfing mouse that somehow doubles every click command. It will all be over tomorrow.
sje46
+0 -0
It's okay. I'm sorry that I made fun of you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really, really sorry.
It's okay. I'm sorry that I made fun of you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really, really sorry.
pogo
+0 -0
What was that? My hearing is getting depression.
What was that? My hearing is getting depression.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh! *hugs hearing*
Oh! *hugs hearing*
sje46
+0 -0
Oh yeah, I said.
Says loudly: Quote:
Oh yeah, I said.
Says loudly: Quote:
It's okay. I'm sorry that I made fun of you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really, really sorry.
sje46
+0 -0
It's okay. I'm sorry that I made fun of you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really, really sorry.
It's okay. I'm sorry that I made fun of you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really, really sorry.
tekende
+0 -0
He's so sorry he posted twice.
He's so sorry he posted twice.
belgand
+0 -0
The circle is now complete. The cosmic ballet... moves on.
The circle is now complete. The cosmic ballet... moves on.
kickstart
+0 -0
I just get really happy when they finally let her shop!
I just get really happy when they finally let her shop!
robbo
+0 -0
Three thoughts:
1. Cornelius got his tattoo removed?
2. Cornelius is ripped!
3. Cornelius is little spoon?
I need to ponder on these.
Three thoughts:
1. Cornelius got his tattoo removed?
2. Cornelius is ripped!
3. Cornelius is little spoon?
I need to ponder on these.
simplygrape
+1 -0
His tattoo was washable!
His tattoo was washable!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
...yelled Inspector Heat from the smoldering heath as Sally buried her rosy, tear-streaked face into Humphrey's abnormally concave chest.
...yelled Inspector Heat from the smoldering heath as Sally buried her rosy, tear-streaked face into Humphrey's abnormally concave chest.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
"We tried to warn you, all these months, but he's been stopping the mail," wept Lady Grace. "It would have been better if you had known."
"Mother, I did know! And it was better!"
"We tried to warn you, all these months, but he's been stopping the mail," wept Lady Grace. "It would have been better if you had known."
"Mother, I did know! And it was better!"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Jeremy dropped his glass at Sally's ejaculation. Surely, he conceded to himself, she had found out about his affair with the handmaiden. Sally gave him an all-knowing glare as she returned to the lump of Humphrey's chest. Jeremy nervously twisted the ring on his left ring finger. Who else had she told?
Jeremy dropped his glass at Sally's ejaculation. Surely, he conceded to himself, she had found out about his affair with the handmaiden. Sally gave him an all-knowing glare as she returned to the lump of Humphrey's chest. Jeremy nervously twisted the ring on his left ring finger. Who else had she told?
rahlerskates
+1 -0
Don't question Connie. It takes a truly badass man to be the little spoon.
Don't question Connie. It takes a truly badass man to be the little spoon.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Would I get yelled at for suggesting he's a peggee in this one? Would that anger people?
Would I get yelled at for suggesting he's a peggee in this one? Would that anger people?
wotown
+0 -0
Since your name is Hedonismbot, I agree that it is okay.
Since your name is Hedonismbot, I agree that it is okay.
talix18
+1 -0
Can't the spoons be the same size? Isn't that the beauty of the spoon - that two objects of the same size and shape nest so elegantly together?
Can't the spoons be the same size? Isn't that the beauty of the spoon - that two objects of the same size and shape nest so elegantly together?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that is hella good philosophy you're doing, planet talix.
that is hella good philosophy you're doing, planet talix.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I have successfully spooned a woman no less than 3" taller than myself. (Granted, her legs were long as a day in the gulag, so out torsos were actually about the same height.)
I have successfully spooned a woman no less than 3" taller than myself. (Granted, her legs were long as a day in the gulag, so out torsos were actually about the same height.)
changuitotuerto
+0 -0
He washed it off with a strict regimen of crying and hitting it with a loafer. The MOST PAINFUL PART of a loafer.
He washed it off with a strict regimen of crying and hitting it with a loafer. The MOST PAINFUL PART of a loafer.
autrepoupee
+1 -1
Also, the mountain in panel three appears to be comprised of a ram, a moose, and a partial human foot. Gorgeous texture in all panels involving the mountain, really.
Also, the mountain in panel three appears to be comprised of a ram, a moose, and a partial human foot. Gorgeous texture in all panels involving the mountain, really.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Bottom-left quadrant of panel three looks to me like a sleepy dog with floppy ears. Maybe it's Scrambles! Maybe all of Achewood is taking place in his dreams! -gasp-
Bottom-left quadrant of panel three looks to me like a sleepy dog with floppy ears. Maybe it's Scrambles! Maybe all of Achewood is taking place in his dreams! -gasp-
lechatbotte
+4 -1
The mountain will prove to have been derived from a highly stylized rendering of Palin hunting large game, thus innovating the era of subliminal political advertising. It will remain unclear duing the ensuing controversy whether this was intended to strenghen or weaken her position. Years later, in a retrospective, Onstad admits to having planned this tryst between the oldest Achewoodian and a young bimbo has a metaphor for the McCain-Palin bid for the presidency, and the NAACP will complain about the lack of black cats in Acheworld. (Following this, Rod Huggins dies of complications of Aids - he chokes on a sausage - and is replaced by a shady black cat who is pushing gay marriage in the strip three times a year.)
Then again, maybe it's just random lines, signifying nothing?
The mountain will prove to have been derived from a highly stylized rendering of Palin hunting large game, thus innovating the era of subliminal political advertising. It will remain unclear duing the ensuing controversy whether this was intended to strenghen or weaken her position. Years later, in a retrospective, Onstad admits to having planned this tryst between the oldest Achewoodian and a young bimbo has a metaphor for the McCain-Palin bid for the presidency, and the NAACP will complain about the lack of black cats in Acheworld. (Following this, Rod Huggins dies of complications of Aids - he chokes on a sausage - and is replaced by a shady black cat who is pushing gay marriage in the strip three times a year.)
Then again, maybe it's just random lines, signifying nothing?
lateadopter
+0 -0
I see a woman on the left, her back arched and her head tilted back, as Chthulhu eats her brain out of the top of her skull (upper right). For some reason, the dread god is hold a toy sailboat and a plush dragon in one, uh, tentacle (bottom right).
I see a woman on the left, her back arched and her head tilted back, as Chthulhu eats her brain out of the top of her skull (upper right). For some reason, the dread god is hold a toy sailboat and a plush dragon in one, uh, tentacle (bottom right).
autrepoupee
+4 -0
I see Fooker getting head in an airport, and then crying himself to sleep every night thereafter, knowing that his past glory will never return, and that the cruel hands of Time are clawing at his back--wherein there used to be the soft hands of a woman.
Maybe he'll settle down someday, he thinks. His rogueish airport-getting-head ways put away for the right lady...You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
He realizes the only soul-connection he ever felt was with that airport-skeez, so he begins to passive-aggressively attempt to win her back. A few anonymous emails to her new boyfriend, a few comments left on a website they mutually enjoyed. The modern equivalent of breaking into her new home and scattering photographs of them together all over the floor.
He can fuck her, sure. But he'll never have her back.
Oh, and yeah, the Cthulu thinkg too.
I see Fooker getting head in an airport, and then crying himself to sleep every night thereafter, knowing that his past glory will never return, and that the cruel hands of Time are clawing at his back--wherein there used to be the soft hands of a woman.
Maybe he'll settle down someday, he thinks. His rogueish airport-getting-head ways put away for the right lady...You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
He realizes the only soul-connection he ever felt was with that airport-skeez, so he begins to passive-aggressively attempt to win her back. A few anonymous emails to her new boyfriend, a few comments left on a website they mutually enjoyed. The modern equivalent of breaking into her new home and scattering photographs of them together all over the floor.
He can fuck her, sure. But he'll never have her back.
Oh, and yeah, the Cthulu thinkg too.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Intelligent, witty 19yos make me happy...
and very sad.
Intelligent, witty 19yos make me happy...
and very sad.
stereo
+0 -0
Ray is black...
Ray is black...
mikeleffel2
+0 -1
I hope Phillipe does not wake them too rudely.
I hope Phillipe does not wake them too rudely.
pogogogo
+0 -1
Beautiful, just beautiful...
Beautiful, just beautiful...
fookerreturns
+0 -0
A comment left by fookerreturns was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by thebaddoctor, ethelthefrog, heatbag)
A comment left by fookerreturns was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by thebaddoctor, ethelthefrog, heatbag)
aperson
+12 -0
So, let's get this straight - you've had sex a number of times?
So, let's get this straight - you've had sex a number of times?
pulpfree
+3 -0
I am as amazed as you are but doubtless he is going to regale us with the details. Being sexually active and painting nerf guns are normally mutually exclusive activities. Fooker, I like the cut of your jib.
I am as amazed as you are but doubtless he is going to regale us with the details. Being sexually active and painting nerf guns are normally mutually exclusive activities. Fooker, I like the cut of your jib.
lechatbotte
+9 -0
He will do it on a cot,
He will do it on the pot.
He will do it everywhere.
He even did it in her hair!
He even got some on the mayor!
He will do it on a cot,
He will do it on the pot.
He will do it everywhere.
He even did it in her hair!
He even got some on the mayor!
sje46
+0 -0
Right into his ear!
He didn't care!
Right into his ear!
He didn't care!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
jazz was so cash.
jazz was so cash.
tekende
+1 -0
The one time I slept in a twin bed with a girl it was definitely not comfortable and I didn't sleep well.
Then again, there were also kittens walking all over the bed.
The one time I slept in a twin bed with a girl it was definitely not comfortable and I didn't sleep well.
Then again, there were also kittens walking all over the bed.
sje46
+0 -0
I slept with a girl too, in a twin, but only in the most literal sense. Of "slept", not "in a twin", hedo.
She was big and had a lip piercing, and it was only because there was a lack of sleeping space.
I slept with a girl too, in a twin, but only in the most literal sense. Of "slept", not "in a twin", hedo.
She was big and had a lip piercing, and it was only because there was a lack of sleeping space.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Oh I remember her. I was piercing her lips earlier that evening if you catch my drift (and you probably shouldn't)
Oh I remember her. I was piercing her lips earlier that evening if you catch my drift (and you probably shouldn't)
mattylite
+4 -0
A twin bed is best for sleeping with a queen.
A queen bed is best for sleeping with twins.
A twin bed is best for sleeping with a queen.
A queen bed is best for sleeping with twins.
daidai
+0 -0
That is not a very well respected queen then. Unless you meant drag queen. In which case, they actually have a bed -- so they must be the most respected queen.
That is not a very well respected queen then. Unless you meant drag queen. In which case, they actually have a bed -- so they must be the most respected queen.
falseprophet
+1 -0
They muft be the moft.
They muft be the moft.
speccer
+0 -0
I hate to do this, but I've seen this reference a few times now, and simply have no idea what it's a reference to . If someone could enlighten me, it'd be much appreciated.
I hate to do this, but I've seen this reference a few times now, and simply have no idea what it's a reference to . If someone could enlighten me, it'd be much appreciated.
sje46
+1 -0
Martha Wafhington'f Cookbook.
I won't be bothered to find the actual ftrip though. You muft do it yourfelf.
Martha Wafhington'f Cookbook.
I won't be bothered to find the actual ftrip though. You muft do it yourfelf.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Effentially the reference if to the fact that in Olde Tymef they ufed an elongated S which looked like an f.
Houfe of Leavef ufed thif technique effectively.
Effentially the reference if to the fact that in Olde Tymef they ufed an elongated S which looked like an f.
Houfe of Leavef ufed thif technique effectively.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
It's a joke that somehow got into Assetworld. In the old days, many 's' characters were elongated (thus the integral sign). People here believe that looked like an 'f', and thus have been using it since.
It's a joke that somehow got into Assetworld. In the old days, many 's' characters were elongated (thus the integral sign). People here believe that looked like an 'f', and thus have been using it since.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Eat it hedonismbot you were TOO SLOW.
SAY IT.
Eat it hedonismbot you were TOO SLOW.
SAY IT.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!
I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!
aperson
+1 -0
here.
here.
speccer
+0 -0
Combo-chubbied the four of you in gratitude.
(Anyone else notice how it takes a bit for a chubby to kick in? You do it to a few posts and *WHAM* they get theirs all at once.)
Combo-chubbied the four of you in gratitude.
(Anyone else notice how it takes a bit for a chubby to kick in? You do it to a few posts and *WHAM* they get theirs all at once.)
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Was it me!?
Was it me!?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Clearly it was not me.
Clearly it was not me.
belgand
+0 -0
This is indeed correct. When I would make the sexy with a lady in college (that is, a particular lady) the twin bed was woefully inadequate and she would return to her own bed for sleep.
Unless you are incredibly tired and able to fall asleep easily spooning does not work. Even the slightest movement is enough to keep you from falling asleep or wake you up in the early stages.
This is indeed correct. When I would make the sexy with a lady in college (that is, a particular lady) the twin bed was woefully inadequate and she would return to her own bed for sleep.
Unless you are incredibly tired and able to fall asleep easily spooning does not work. Even the slightest movement is enough to keep you from falling asleep or wake you up in the early stages.
wozzeck
+3 -0
The trick is to render your lady incredibly tired, then to stay up all night watching her sleep, thinking of all the things the two of you will one day do together.
The trick is to render your lady incredibly tired, then to stay up all night watching her sleep, thinking of all the things the two of you will one day do together.
belgand
+1 -1
She gets tired easily. I do not.
Ideally everything I would desire to do together has already been done. The only reason I can see sleeping without having accomplished everything is if, perhaps, it requires additional people, equipment, costumes, or she's simply very sore.
The last time I saw my girlfriend sleeping it was not cute. I couldn't stop thinking about her being dead. It just creeped me out and sent me into a fairly typical existential panic.
She gets tired easily. I do not.
Ideally everything I would desire to do together has already been done. The only reason I can see sleeping without having accomplished everything is if, perhaps, it requires additional people, equipment, costumes, or she's simply very sore.
The last time I saw my girlfriend sleeping it was not cute. I couldn't stop thinking about her being dead. It just creeped me out and sent me into a fairly typical existential panic.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think I've only had postcoital naptime twice (not counting the nights she stayed over) because I am a commuter student and she has a dorm and I usually have work right after class...
But I do like to watch my girlfriend sleep.
I think I've only had postcoital naptime twice (not counting the nights she stayed over) because I am a commuter student and she has a dorm and I usually have work right after class...
But I do like to watch my girlfriend sleep.
kickstart
+0 -0
Have you been stealing my letters to Penthouse?
Have you been stealing my letters to Penthouse?
spinynorman
+13 -0
I used a twin too. The real issue was not its size but that it had the pliability and ergonomic integrity of a bag of used forks, and made sounds like Optimus Prime beating off when any properly vigorous whoopee was made. Seriously, your average Dickens character had better sleeping arrangements than I did.
I used a twin too. The real issue was not its size but that it had the pliability and ergonomic integrity of a bag of used forks, and made sounds like Optimus Prime beating off when any properly vigorous whoopee was made. Seriously, your average Dickens character had better sleeping arrangements than I did.
gumfish
+0 -0
Thank you spinynorman. Thank you for having this way with words.
Thank you spinynorman. Thank you for having this way with words.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
So, it isn't the size that matters, but the motion of the ocean?
So, it isn't the size that matters, but the motion of the ocean?
falseprophet
+1 -0
Exactly. It's more than meets the eye.
Exactly. It's more than meets the eye.
stereo
+0 -0
It requires a Small Craft Advisory.
It requires a Small Craft Advisory.
kamet
+0 -0
Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of.. the Decepticons.
Sorry.. it's one of those things- once the song has started, I have to finish it. There's a fun little dance that goes with it, too.
Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of.. the Decepticons.
Sorry.. it's one of those things- once the song has started, I have to finish it. There's a fun little dance that goes with it, too.
hamscout
+0 -0
I'mmmm...Sailing...awayyyyyyyy....
I'mmmm...Sailing...awayyyyyyyy....
tripleg
+0 -0
ain't no virgin seas in this here comic strip
ain't no virgin seas in this here comic strip
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I've been searching for months. There are none
I've been searching for months. There are none
redphillip
+0 -0
There must me a set of such beds so large as to be basically infinite. I've used several. They're terrible for sleeping or sex. Alone or in any number of company. (NB: degree of discomfort and lack of sleeping efficacy increases geometrically with number of occupants/participants.)
And I hate having to restrain my sex onomatopoeia (mechanical or vocal) lest one disturb the horses, the whom- and whatever. It only becomes sorta fun when the mad rutty is accompanied with serious illicit character such that being caught out will lead to hella troubles.
There must me a set of such beds so large as to be basically infinite. I've used several. They're terrible for sleeping or sex. Alone or in any number of company. (NB: degree of discomfort and lack of sleeping efficacy increases geometrically with number of occupants/participants.)
And I hate having to restrain my sex onomatopoeia (mechanical or vocal) lest one disturb the horses, the whom- and whatever. It only becomes sorta fun when the mad rutty is accompanied with serious illicit character such that being caught out will lead to hella troubles.
tripleg
+0 -0
i need a damn grammer book to parse those sentences, cowboy
i need a damn grammer book to parse those sentences, cowboy
tekende
+6 -0
tripleg
+0 -0
that is exactly the one. i so wish i had chubbies to dole
that is exactly the one. i so wish i had chubbies to dole
speccer
+0 -0
V-chub.
V-chub.
sheriff_mittens
+1 -0
There's something strangely elegiac about this strip. Maybe this is Cornelius's last dance. I can't tell what makes me think that--the excess of nighttime? the crappy curtains? the sequence of panels without dialogue like youth flashing before one's eyes?--but it gives me an oblique tombstone vibe.
There's something strangely elegiac about this strip. Maybe this is Cornelius's last dance. I can't tell what makes me think that--the excess of nighttime? the crappy curtains? the sequence of panels without dialogue like youth flashing before one's eyes?--but it gives me an oblique tombstone vibe.
aperson
+3 -0
This strip took me to the funeral home in the Volvo of Poignancy.
I'm just hoping Cornelius is going to get riled up by some patronising concern from Beef and Ray.
This strip took me to the funeral home in the Volvo of Poignancy.
I'm just hoping Cornelius is going to get riled up by some patronising concern from Beef and Ray.
jonmw
+0 -0
Hoo, it'd be pretty dangerous of them to Question the winner of the Badass Games. He's so badass that he makes his own rules for the game of love.
Hoo, it'd be pretty dangerous of them to Question the winner of the Badass Games. He's so badass that he makes his own rules for the game of love.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Perhaps Ray will at last join the list of cats that have been shot.
A blackpowder ball to his heart at dawn, for speaking loosely of Cornelius' beloved.
Perhaps Ray will at last join the list of cats that have been shot.
A blackpowder ball to his heart at dawn, for speaking loosely of Cornelius' beloved.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
GODDAMMIT people, this man deserves some chubbies!
GODDAMMIT people, this man deserves some chubbies!
sje46
+0 -0
Oh no. You best be wrong.
Oh no. You best be wrong.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
I think panels 8 and 9 are the most heart-warming moment since the wedding. This being Achewood, I can't help feeling that something terrible or at least bitter-sweet is going to happen, but right now, Cornelius is happy, and I take comfort in that.
I think panels 8 and 9 are the most heart-warming moment since the wedding. This being Achewood, I can't help feeling that something terrible or at least bitter-sweet is going to happen, but right now, Cornelius is happy, and I take comfort in that.
bjorntd
+0 -0
It's a class thing. The woman is a stripper. That in and of itself is bittersweet.
It's a class thing. The woman is a stripper. That in and of itself is bittersweet.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Love the avatar! We should get togther sometime, and kill a wolf.
Love the avatar! We should get togther sometime, and kill a wolf.
redphillip
+0 -0
Keep away from my cousins! We canids have a hard enough time in Achewood.
Keep away from my cousins! We canids have a hard enough time in Achewood.
speccer
+0 -0
Oh, I see it now. That is a dog.
Oh, I see it now. That is a dog.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Down boy! Don't make me get the leash!
Down boy! Don't make me get the leash!
redphillip
+0 -0
Only very, very special friends get to use the leash on this dog, dogg. Besides, I hardly ever bite, unless that service is requested. Generally I keep it to the occasional nipping. It hasn't got me put outside yet.
Only very, very special friends get to use the leash on this dog, dogg. Besides, I hardly ever bite, unless that service is requested. Generally I keep it to the occasional nipping. It hasn't got me put outside yet.
stickmanben
+0 -1
Heh, he got rid of "starwars". Good for him. Musta taken a couple few hours under the laser...
Heh, he got rid of "starwars". Good for him. Musta taken a couple few hours under the laser...
stereo
+0 -0
Did you miss the part where when he cried in rage, the letters started washing away under the salty tears of justice?
Did you miss the part where when he cried in rage, the letters started washing away under the salty tears of justice?
sje46
+1 -0
I guess people don't pay attention to minor things such as resolutions of conflict.
I guess people don't pay attention to minor things such as resolutions of conflict.
tragicone
+0 -0
why would they?
why would they?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
to idiots, instant replays are just as exciting.
to idiots, instant replays are just as exciting.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm not sure if I should say we are experiencing good avatar-comment synergy here.
I'm not sure if I should say we are experiencing good avatar-comment synergy here.
sje46
+0 -0
I thought about it, and no.
I thought about it, and no.
chuvak
+0 -0
Cornelius is fucking ripped.
Cornelius is fucking ripped.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Now I'm wondering what numbers 22 and 24 are...
my hypotheses
22: 1949 Vincent Black Shadow
24: This was a tough guess, but I'm going with ZZ Top's Eliminator car (hey, he answered that question correctly for a reason).
Now I'm wondering what numbers 22 and 24 are...
my hypotheses
22: 1949 Vincent Black Shadow
24: This was a tough guess, but I'm going with ZZ Top's Eliminator car (hey, he answered that question correctly for a reason).
aperson
+8 -0
#22 is a Shetland pony, and #24 is an antique diving suit.
#22 is a Shetland pony, and #24 is an antique diving suit.
evilestteddy
+0 -0
One would believe that Connie has the numbers 22 and 24 etched onto the side of said Pony/Diving Suit...it would be further noted that he did this with his bare fists ...
Could this be the most beautiful strip yet?
One would believe that Connie has the numbers 22 and 24 etched onto the side of said Pony/Diving Suit...it would be further noted that he did this with his bare fists ...
Could this be the most beautiful strip yet?
professorhazard
+4 -0
#21 is a fat guy who looks like Kevin Smith, who was kidnapped by The Monarch when he was a teenager.
#21 is a fat guy who looks like Kevin Smith, who was kidnapped by The Monarch when he was a teenager.
aperson
+4 -0
#1 to #20 are the partially mummified remains of 20 strippers.
#1 to #20 are the partially mummified remains of 20 strippers.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Ouch! Didn't expect a Silence of the Lambs twist, but it is the hallowed season.
Ouch! Didn't expect a Silence of the Lambs twist, but it is the hallowed season.
kamet
+0 -0
You just scored points, my friend.
You just scored points, my friend.
tripleg
+0 -0
this was such the perfect reply that i moused over to see the alt-text. there was no alt text.
this was such the perfect reply that i moused over to see the alt-text. there was no alt text.
celesticles
+0 -0
I thought #24 was a skeleton sitting in a soapbox car.
Cornelius was in prison.
I thought #24 was a skeleton sitting in a soapbox car.
Cornelius was in prison.
bjorntd
+0 -0
I can never see these without thinking of Big Brothers and oversized drillbits impaling me into walls.
OH WELL.
I can never see these without thinking of Big Brothers and oversized drillbits impaling me into walls.
OH WELL.
speccer
+0 -0
Big...
...
Facepalm.
Big...
...
Facepalm.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This is glorious.
This is glorious.
aperson
+0 -0
I *really* want to see it break dancing.
I *really* want to see it break dancing.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I just want to see it. Oh, there it is.
This is what Dante saw in Heaven after Paradiso ended.
I just want to see it. Oh, there it is.
This is what Dante saw in Heaven after Paradiso ended.
wilto
+0 -0
If certain exaggeration prone literary figures are to be believed, I don't believe the unspeakable fear-engine that is the Vincent Black Shadow could be restrained by a wooden gate. Rider or no.
If certain exaggeration prone literary figures are to be believed, I don't believe the unspeakable fear-engine that is the Vincent Black Shadow could be restrained by a wooden gate. Rider or no.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
If it wasn't for the pince nez on the nightstand, I would think that the last panel holds Teodor.
Quite a heartwarming strip today.
If it wasn't for the pince nez on the nightstand, I would think that the last panel holds Teodor.
Quite a heartwarming strip today.
sje46
+0 -0
Hey guys! Guess whose birthday it is!
Hey guys! Guess whose birthday it is!
tekende
+0 -0
NOT YOURS
NOT YOURS
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WHY FIND OUT?
WHY FIND OUT?
catgrl131
+0 -0
JUDGE JUDY'S!
JUDGE JUDY'S!
speccer
+0 -0
ALFRED NOBEL'S!
ALFRED NOBEL'S!
bjorntd
+0 -0
ALEC BALDWIN'S!
ALEC BALDWIN'S!
catgrl131
+0 -0
...boned?
...boned?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
c-c-c-combo breaker!
c-c-c-combo breaker!
drmemory
+0 -0
Did anyone doubt Cornelius had game?
Did anyone doubt Cornelius had game?
theirateturk
+1 -0
Who is your favourite Biff?
A quick survey:
Biff Tannen
Old Biff
Alternate 1985 Biff
Griff
Sycophant 1985 Biff
Buford Tannen
1955 Biff
Think that's all of them tia
Who is your favourite Biff?
A quick survey:
Biff Tannen
Old Biff
Alternate 1985 Biff
Griff
Sycophant 1985 Biff
Buford Tannen
1955 Biff
Think that's all of them tia
stereo
+0 -0
"Mad Dog" Tannen.
"Mad Dog" Tannen.
sje46
+0 -0
Biff Loman.
Biff Loman.
stereo
+0 -0
You're lucky I haven't had any lames since about August...
You're lucky I haven't had any lames since about August...
sje46
+0 -0
Why would you lame that?
He is my favorite biff, I swear!
Why would you lame that?
He is my favorite biff, I swear!
stereo
+0 -0
I've read Ayn Rand on my own time (and enjoyed it) and even I hate Death of a Salesman.
I've read Ayn Rand on my own time (and enjoyed it) and even I hate Death of a Salesman.
wozzeck
+1 -0
This is John Galt speaking, for sixty-three pages .
This is John Galt speaking, for sixty-three pages .
actualtaunt
+0 -1
Haha! Look at ME! Ego! EGO! I Am! I am the voice of Ayn Rand Masturbating furiously to how great she is. HaHA! I will make all of the assholes around you in High School into bigger assholes. Rape is the purest love! I'm so fucking high on myself that I invent machines that cannot exist in any universe. EVER! But listen to me prattle on because who is John Galt? I EGO ME YO AM JOHN FUCKING GALT and I hate you on a personal level if you've ever recieved a present. From anyone.
Because I AM JOHN GALT bitch . And the next ten hours of your life are mine.
Haha! Look at ME! Ego! EGO! I Am! I am the voice of Ayn Rand Masturbating furiously to how great she is. HaHA! I will make all of the assholes around you in High School into bigger assholes. Rape is the purest love! I'm so fucking high on myself that I invent machines that cannot exist in any universe. EVER! But listen to me prattle on because who is John Galt? I EGO ME YO AM JOHN FUCKING GALT and I hate you on a personal level if you've ever recieved a present. From anyone.
Because I AM JOHN GALT bitch . And the next ten hours of your life are mine.
tripleg
+0 -0
you have made me want to pick that book up from the crumpled pile in which i left it, behind the bookshelf among the rat droppings, and maybe even give finishing it a try.
you have made me want to pick that book up from the crumpled pile in which i left it, behind the bookshelf among the rat droppings, and maybe even give finishing it a try.
sje46
+0 -0
Wouldn't that be the id?
Wouldn't that be the id?
sje46
+0 -0
I didn't enjoy it too much either.
I still like the name. Biff .
I didn't enjoy it too much either.
I still like the name. Biff .
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Wait wait wait
people don't like Death of a Salesman? I loved it!
What do you all think of The Great Gatsby? I know that they aren't terribly related; but I read them in the same class, and loved both of them. The only book I hated was that god damn The Scarlet Letter.
oh brother oh brother that book was shit
Wait wait wait
people don't like Death of a Salesman? I loved it!
What do you all think of The Great Gatsby? I know that they aren't terribly related; but I read them in the same class, and loved both of them. The only book I hated was that god damn The Scarlet Letter.
oh brother oh brother that book was shit
sje46
+0 -0
I read all three in the sam class.
I liked Gatsby better. I wish I paid more attention.
I read all three in the sam class.
I liked Gatsby better. I wish I paid more attention.
reverendtmac
+0 -0
I read The Scarlet Letter twice for university, once in an undergrad course, once in a grad course. The first time I was young, naive, hadn't really had my heart stomped flatter than hammered shit - figured I wasn't ready for the book, you know? Didn't understand love, didn't understand sacrifice, blah, blah, blah.
Second time around: just as bad. Maybe worse.
Autre, you possess taste far beyond your years. Gatsby is wonderful. Salesman is wonderful. Have you read The Grapes of Wrath yet?
I read The Scarlet Letter twice for university, once in an undergrad course, once in a grad course. The first time I was young, naive, hadn't really had my heart stomped flatter than hammered shit - figured I wasn't ready for the book, you know? Didn't understand love, didn't understand sacrifice, blah, blah, blah.
Second time around: just as bad. Maybe worse.
Autre, you possess taste far beyond your years. Gatsby is wonderful. Salesman is wonderful. Have you read The Grapes of Wrath yet?
belgand
+0 -0
Salesman was fabulous. A great tale of how the American dream is a sham and we will never, ever succeed.
Grapes of Wrath was, like all of Steinbeck, a new level of terrible. It was perhaps one of the worst books I've read that wasn't Ethan Frome or A Separate Peace.
Salesman was fabulous. A great tale of how the American dream is a sham and we will never, ever succeed.
Grapes of Wrath was, like all of Steinbeck, a new level of terrible. It was perhaps one of the worst books I've read that wasn't Ethan Frome or A Separate Peace.
sje46
+0 -0
Pickles and donuts = delicious.
Pickles and donuts = delicious.
sje46
+0 -0
This has been an obscure Ethan Frome reference.
This has been an obscure Ethan Frome reference.
belgand
+0 -0
I got it, I just hate Ethan Frome.
Stupidest reason to get led into suicide, stupidest form of suicide ever attempted. One of the worst books I've ever read. I think it's actually slightly worse than A Separate Peace even.
I got it, I just hate Ethan Frome.
Stupidest reason to get led into suicide, stupidest form of suicide ever attempted. One of the worst books I've ever read. I think it's actually slightly worse than A Separate Peace even.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I haven't read Grapes of Wrath yet, but I really liked of Mice and Men, so it is on my "read at some point" list.
I haven't read Grapes of Wrath yet, but I really liked of Mice and Men, so it is on my "read at some point" list.
perilon
+0 -0
"Of Mice and Men" is on the short list of books that made me shed a tear. Also on the list is Orson Scott Card's "Children of the Mind." ...Come to think of it, that's the entire list. What does that say about me.
"Of Mice and Men" is on the short list of books that made me shed a tear. Also on the list is Orson Scott Card's "Children of the Mind." ...Come to think of it, that's the entire list. What does that say about me.
stereo
+0 -0
A couple books have got me that way, can't name them offhand though. I'm sure one of Arthur C. Clarke's short stories does.
A couple books have got me that way, can't name them offhand though. I'm sure one of Arthur C. Clarke's short stories does.
octafish
+0 -0
Can we count "Crow" by Ted Hughes?
Can we count "Crow" by Ted Hughes?
reverendtmac
+0 -0
My list starts and stops with "Blood Meridian", so I can't really help. Sorry.
My list starts and stops with "Blood Meridian", so I can't really help. Sorry.
rowboat
+0 -0
You guys would love The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Shit changed my fucking life.
You guys would love The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Shit changed my fucking life.
belgand
+0 -0
No, I will change your life by removing your anal sphincter for bringing that sort of thing up. There is a line and it has been crossed.
No, I will change your life by removing your anal sphincter for bringing that sort of thing up. There is a line and it has been crossed.
rowboat
+0 -0
Your loss, dude.
Your loss, dude.
redphillip
+0 -0
I just tried to chubby you for this, but Assetbar told me "You have given out enough chubbies for this page, Friendly." Now even Assetbar is getting all personal-snippy with me. This dog officially has his tail between his legs and is lookin' all sheepish.
I just tried to chubby you for this, but Assetbar told me "You have given out enough chubbies for this page, Friendly." Now even Assetbar is getting all personal-snippy with me. This dog officially has his tail between his legs and is lookin' all sheepish.
sje46
+0 -0
Is that some dialectal thing? A lot of people here (I mean Acheworld) call it "university". I go to a university too, but I say that I go to college. Maybe it's an American thing.
And "maths". Ugg.
Is that some dialectal thing? A lot of people here (I mean Acheworld) call it "university". I go to a university too, but I say that I go to college. Maybe it's an American thing.
And "maths". Ugg.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I call where I go a University and I'm American.
Maybe because compared to all the other schools in Florida University of Tampa is the god-damned Ivy League.
I call where I go a University and I'm American.
Maybe because compared to all the other schools in Florida University of Tampa is the god-damned Ivy League.
perilon
+0 -0
Well, we do call 'em universities in general, but the point here is that there are certain contexts where Brits (and others?) say "university" while we Americans must say "college" -- just one of the minor differences between divergent Englishes.
Shibboleth test: If you would ever say "I was on holiday but now I have to go back to university," you are English. If you say "I was on vacation but now I have to go back to college," you are American.
Well, we do call 'em universities in general, but the point here is that there are certain contexts where Brits (and others?) say "university" while we Americans must say "college" -- just one of the minor differences between divergent Englishes.
Shibboleth test: If you would ever say "I was on holiday but now I have to go back to university," you are English. If you say "I was on vacation but now I have to go back to college," you are American.
sje46
+0 -0
I wonder:
People not from New England think for some reason that I'm trying to be English when I say the word "wicked" as an intensifier. ("Wicked awesome!") Do those crazy tea-drinkers say that word a lot? 'Cause I never heard it from them.
I wonder:
People not from New England think for some reason that I'm trying to be English when I say the word "wicked" as an intensifier. ("Wicked awesome!") Do those crazy tea-drinkers say that word a lot? 'Cause I never heard it from them.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
they do.
personally i thought it meant you were a juggalo
they do.
personally i thought it meant you were a juggalo
sje46
+0 -0
I had to look that up. Umm, ICP is from Detroit, so I doubt that's the case.
"Wicked" is old slang in Eastern New England. I say it a lot even when I don't want to.
I had to look that up. Umm, ICP is from Detroit, so I doubt that's the case.
"Wicked" is old slang in Eastern New England. I say it a lot even when I don't want to.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well you are allowed to be a fan of a band even if it was not from your area.
BUT YES DEATH TO ALL JUGGALOS AND JUGGALETTES.
DEATH VIA A 2 LITER IN THEIR BUTTCHEEKS.
Well you are allowed to be a fan of a band even if it was not from your area.
BUT YES DEATH TO ALL JUGGALOS AND JUGGALETTES.
DEATH VIA A 2 LITER IN THEIR BUTTCHEEKS.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
join my anti psychopatic records group.
only on myspace, where the hataz iz all up inz n type with so many zees it lookz lyk teh serengeti.
join my anti psychopatic records group.
only on myspace, where the hataz iz all up inz n type with so many zees it lookz lyk teh serengeti.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
they are also wicked clowns though i dont know man
but yeah, the English say wicked as well, in the same way you New English do.
At least they did in the 90s.
they are also wicked clowns though i dont know man
but yeah, the English say wicked as well, in the same way you New English do.
At least they did in the 90s.
pogo
+0 -0
A university is made up of colleges. But some colleges are small and independent and aren't part of a university. Even if you go to a university, you are actually in a college, most likely, as you become specilaized in a major. So "college" is the most applicable term for higher education.
A university is made up of colleges. But some colleges are small and independent and aren't part of a university. Even if you go to a university, you are actually in a college, most likely, as you become specilaized in a major. So "college" is the most applicable term for higher education.
aperson
+0 -0
Where I come from only the fancy-arsed universities like Oxbridge and Cambford are comprised of a bunch of colleges. The other more sensible down-to-earth universities consist of a university.
Where I come from only the fancy-arsed universities like Oxbridge and Cambford are comprised of a bunch of colleges. The other more sensible down-to-earth universities consist of a university.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Odd, where I'm at (a place that practices bad English), we have colleges welded together. They aren't named awesome things like Christ College or King's College, more like College of Engineering or College of Business or the such
Odd, where I'm at (a place that practices bad English), we have colleges welded together. They aren't named awesome things like Christ College or King's College, more like College of Engineering or College of Business or the such
aperson
+0 -0
Those are called faculties on my homeworld.
Those are called faculties on my homeworld.
belgand
+0 -0
Indeed. Where I graduated from we had a "College of Arts and Sciences" which was basically what it says on the tin and a mix of hard sciences and the other sorts of things you'd expect from liberal arts. There were also, however, College of Engineering, College of Business, College of Agriculture, College of Architecture and Design, and even the College of Human Ecology. Within each college would be a department of say Biology or Electrical Engineering or such.
In some schools this is rather key as, for example, Cornell is not a completely Ivy League university. Only the College of Arts and Sciences (or whatever it's called, I forget the precise college name) is part of the Ivy League.
This is, I believe why it's a university in that it combines multiple colleges. Usually the only ones calling themselves a college are comprised only of one college and tend to be liberal arts schools more often than not.
Indeed. Where I graduated from we had a "College of Arts and Sciences" which was basically what it says on the tin and a mix of hard sciences and the other sorts of things you'd expect from liberal arts. There were also, however, College of Engineering, College of Business, College of Agriculture, College of Architecture and Design, and even the College of Human Ecology. Within each college would be a department of say Biology or Electrical Engineering or such.
In some schools this is rather key as, for example, Cornell is not a completely Ivy League university. Only the College of Arts and Sciences (or whatever it's called, I forget the precise college name) is part of the Ivy League.
This is, I believe why it's a university in that it combines multiple colleges. Usually the only ones calling themselves a college are comprised only of one college and tend to be liberal arts schools more often than not.
octafish
+0 -0
I was on hols but now I have to go back to Uni. = Oz
I was on hols but now I have to go back to Uni. = Oz
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Maths is due to the word mathematics being plural. I have math degrees, I say math, I do math for a living. If anyone tells you you are wrong to say the singular form, they are a ter'rist
Maths is due to the word mathematics being plural. I have math degrees, I say math, I do math for a living. If anyone tells you you are wrong to say the singular form, they are a ter'rist
reverendtmac
+1 -0
Here in Canada a college and a university denote two different kinds of school - a university is a place where you go into debt to get regular degrees (and are forced to read The Scarlet Letter). A college is a place where you go into debt learning to weld, cut hair, cook or in my case, become a golf professional. Something trades related.
Here in Canada a college and a university denote two different kinds of school - a university is a place where you go into debt to get regular degrees (and are forced to read The Scarlet Letter). A college is a place where you go into debt learning to weld, cut hair, cook or in my case, become a golf professional. Something trades related.
speccer
+0 -0
Those are demoted to "vocational school" in American English.
Those are demoted to "vocational school" in American English.
pogo
+0 -0
No, we have "technical colleges" in Wisconsin.
No, we have "technical colleges" in Wisconsin.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I dun lernded hows to fuck pigs at the Vo-Tech
I dun lernded hows to fuck pigs at the Vo-Tech
tekende
+3 -0
How to Fuck a Pig
2 credits, MW 2-2:50
Another in our Historical Skill Sets series. Few people in polite society do this anymore. Learn how to seduce and safely achieve coitus with a pig. Condoms provided.
How to Fuck a Pig
2 credits, MW 2-2:50
Another in our Historical Skill Sets series. Few people in polite society do this anymore. Learn how to seduce and safely achieve coitus with a pig. Condoms provided.
sje46
+0 -0
Made by the students of another course, How to Make Natural Condoms from a Pig's Intestine
Made by the students of another course, How to Make Natural Condoms from a Pig's Intestine
rowboat
+0 -0
Condoms provided? What kind of fancy-ass tech school did you go to?
Condoms provided? What kind of fancy-ass tech school did you go to?
belgand
+0 -0
There is not a chubby hard enough for this. I am madly chubbing it as hard and fast as possible, but still it is not enough.
If only I had signed up for that course I might be know better. *sigh*
There is not a chubby hard enough for this. I am madly chubbing it as hard and fast as possible, but still it is not enough.
If only I had signed up for that course I might be know better. *sigh*
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Unis= huge, expensive, legacy schools.
College= smaller state schools.
Trade/Tech College/School= lame.
i am going to a trade school for sound engineering.
screw all y'all.
Unis= huge, expensive, legacy schools.
College= smaller state schools.
Trade/Tech College/School= lame.
i am going to a trade school for sound engineering.
screw all y'all.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I loved The Great Gatsby. I also loved The Scarlet Letter. I have not read Death of a Salesman.
I don't know what this means for us, autre.
I loved The Great Gatsby. I also loved The Scarlet Letter. I have not read Death of a Salesman.
I don't know what this means for us, autre.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
It means you should read Death of A Salesman, and love it, then we're almost about even.
The Scarlet Letter could've been good, there was just something in the way of my enjoying it that I can't quite put my finger on. Something vague rising from the word-ether that just made me shake my head, rub my temples, and fall asleep.
It means you should read Death of A Salesman, and love it, then we're almost about even.
The Scarlet Letter could've been good, there was just something in the way of my enjoying it that I can't quite put my finger on. Something vague rising from the word-ether that just made me shake my head, rub my temples, and fall asleep.
sje46
+0 -0
It was boring, first of all.
It was boring, first of all.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I honestly didn't like The Great Gatsby the first time I read it. The second time it was ok.
Catcher in the Rye anyone?
I honestly didn't like The Great Gatsby the first time I read it. The second time it was ok.
Catcher in the Rye anyone?
tekende
+0 -0
I HATE THE CATCHER IN THE RYE.
I HATE THE CATCHER IN THE RYE.
sje46
+0 -0
I like The Catcher in the Rye!
I really do!
I like The Catcher in the Rye!
I really do!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Tekende I don't know if we can be friends anymore.
Tekende I don't know if we can be friends anymore.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Tekende, I didn't like Catcher in the Rye either. I read it when I was about 12 or 13, and I just couldn't relate at all . Not in the slightest bit, I didn't get it.
Ever since then, I've felt distinctly apart from people I otherwise totally agree with. Just because I don't much "get" Catcher in The Rye.
I used to think it was a male vs. female thing, but now I just don't know...
Tekende, I didn't like Catcher in the Rye either. I read it when I was about 12 or 13, and I just couldn't relate at all . Not in the slightest bit, I didn't get it.
Ever since then, I've felt distinctly apart from people I otherwise totally agree with. Just because I don't much "get" Catcher in The Rye.
I used to think it was a male vs. female thing, but now I just don't know...
belgand
+0 -0
My girlfriend read it when she was 15 or so (the correct age), but never liked it either. I still regard this as a significant flaw. It may well be a female/male issue.
Then again I've also considered becoming a famous assassin so that might be part of it as well.
My girlfriend read it when she was 15 or so (the correct age), but never liked it either. I still regard this as a significant flaw. It may well be a female/male issue.
Then again I've also considered becoming a famous assassin so that might be part of it as well.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Women in general are raised to be more "empathetic", more group-oriented, while young boys are raised to be independent and free-spirited.
Maybe women have a harder time relating to Catcher in The Rye because we traditionally are ingratiated into the "outside world" quicker, while men go through more periods of disillusionment.
Of course, that isn't everyone. But I can tell you that most girls I'm friends with didn't much care for Catcher in the Rye, and they're just as intelligent as any dude I know who loved the book.
Maybe it's just like Monty Python that way.
Women in general are raised to be more "empathetic", more group-oriented, while young boys are raised to be independent and free-spirited.
Maybe women have a harder time relating to Catcher in The Rye because we traditionally are ingratiated into the "outside world" quicker, while men go through more periods of disillusionment.
Of course, that isn't everyone. But I can tell you that most girls I'm friends with didn't much care for Catcher in the Rye, and they're just as intelligent as any dude I know who loved the book.
Maybe it's just like Monty Python that way.
sje46
+0 -0
Well, you read it when you were 12 or 13.
Try reading it again. I mean, you were barely a teenager. That's why you couldn't identify much.
I find it to be one of the saddest books I read.
Well, you read it when you were 12 or 13.
Try reading it again. I mean, you were barely a teenager. That's why you couldn't identify much.
I find it to be one of the saddest books I read.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Yes I also really enjoyed The Catcher in the Rye .
Yes I also really enjoyed The Catcher in the Rye .
speccer
+0 -0
I am not a book man, but The Catcher in the Rye was one I could tolerate.
I was the kind of guy that read Sparknotes throughout high school. It just always felt that I could be doing more with my time than just reading. It's kind of my thing to avoid simply wasting time - it bothers me more than I can accurately describe to find out an even an hour's work was all for nothing. It's just hard to justify time spent reading, possibly because I'm not the fastest reader, when I can be experiencing so much more stimulus.
I'd like to enjoy books, though. Here's to hope.
I am not a book man, but The Catcher in the Rye was one I could tolerate.
I was the kind of guy that read Sparknotes throughout high school. It just always felt that I could be doing more with my time than just reading. It's kind of my thing to avoid simply wasting time - it bothers me more than I can accurately describe to find out an even an hour's work was all for nothing. It's just hard to justify time spent reading, possibly because I'm not the fastest reader, when I can be experiencing so much more stimulus.
I'd like to enjoy books, though. Here's to hope.
belgand
+0 -0
Sparknotes? What is that? Something like Cliff's Notes?
The only time I've ever read a study guide to anything was with The Divine Comedy and that's mainly because otherwise I wouldn't possibly be able to understand references to medieval popes and political figures.
I found it crazy when I saw people reading Cliff's Notes for Animal Farm to avoid reading it (I'd already read it about a dozen or so times by that point, but I read it again because it would only take me an hour or two... then I read it again) or getting the book on tape for Slaughterhouse Five. Crazy.
I read for at least a few hours pretty much every day.
Sparknotes? What is that? Something like Cliff's Notes?
The only time I've ever read a study guide to anything was with The Divine Comedy and that's mainly because otherwise I wouldn't possibly be able to understand references to medieval popes and political figures.
I found it crazy when I saw people reading Cliff's Notes for Animal Farm to avoid reading it (I'd already read it about a dozen or so times by that point, but I read it again because it would only take me an hour or two... then I read it again) or getting the book on tape for Slaughterhouse Five. Crazy.
I read for at least a few hours pretty much every day.
sje46
+0 -0
It's like Cliff Notes, only online.
Man, you're a fast reader. I know that Animal Farm is a short book, but still. That would take me all day.
It's like Cliff Notes, only online.
Man, you're a fast reader. I know that Animal Farm is a short book, but still. That would take me all day.
tripleg
+0 -0
he's a spoiled little jackass who's too wrapped up in his own smug sense of self-superiority to make any human connection. what's sad about that? i understand that his parents neglect him and he feels like an outsider and has no proper role models other than his brother whom he idolizes, but his ennui comes off as more pathetic than tragic.
he's a spoiled little jackass who's too wrapped up in his own smug sense of self-superiority to make any human connection. what's sad about that? i understand that his parents neglect him and he feels like an outsider and has no proper role models other than his brother whom he idolizes, but his ennui comes off as more pathetic than tragic.
tripleg
+0 -0
ok, reading back over this, it comes over as really hostile, and i'm sorry.
ok, reading back over this, it comes over as really hostile, and i'm sorry.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
If you read the other books that involve the Caufields I guess it makes sense?
I didn't find Catcher sad but I did find it relatable because I do have a hard time relating to the outside world and feel like it's full of fakers.
If you read the other books that involve the Caufields I guess it makes sense?
I didn't find Catcher sad but I did find it relatable because I do have a hard time relating to the outside world and feel like it's full of fakers.
sje46
+0 -0
I as well.
I as well.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Let's be friends.
Let's be friends.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes! Of course!
[Okay, Sean, don't get too excited. You'll scare it off.]
Oh. Umm. Yeah. So, umm, wanna, like, go bowling, or something?
Yes! Of course!
[Okay, Sean, don't get too excited. You'll scare it off.]
Oh. Umm. Yeah. So, umm, wanna, like, go bowling, or something?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yes!
Yes!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Aee you describing Holden Caulfield, or the average 15 year old who should read the book. They both fall cleanly into your definition, and that is why it's nice to read at that age
Aee you describing Holden Caulfield, or the average 15 year old who should read the book. They both fall cleanly into your definition, and that is why it's nice to read at that age
sje46
+0 -0
Pathetic indeed. That word has developed a negative connotation, but the way in which he chooses to view the world in indeed sympathy inducing. He is afraid of the prospect of growing up, and losing his innocence. That is why he acts the ways he does.
Pathetic indeed. That word has developed a negative connotation, but the way in which he chooses to view the world in indeed sympathy inducing. He is afraid of the prospect of growing up, and losing his innocence. That is why he acts the ways he does.
tripleg
+0 -0
rather than engage in a long public argument about what essentially is a matter of taste (unless you, like me, like to argue about stupid shit, in which case i'd be happy to continue in a more appropriate forum), i will say, i honor your readings and respectfully disagree.
rather than engage in a long public argument about what essentially is a matter of taste (unless you, like me, like to argue about stupid shit, in which case i'd be happy to continue in a more appropriate forum), i will say, i honor your readings and respectfully disagree.
sje46
+0 -0
Okey doke.
[Does that mean I win?]
Okey doke.
[Does that mean I win?]
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
PRECISELY. I was 19 or 20 when I read it. The entire time I was wondering why the hell I should care about that stupid twat or any of his dumbass decisions. When I finally finished it I had a strong urge to destroy the book by means of tearing or perhaps fire but it wasn't my copy so I had to settle for just throwing it across the room, my small revenge on it for having wasted my time.
Quote:
he's a spoiled little jackass who's too wrapped up in his own smug sense of self-superiority to make any human connection. what's sad about that? i understand that his parents neglect him and he feels like an outsider and has no proper role models other than his brother whom he idolizes, but his ennui comes off as more pathetic than tragic.
PRECISELY. I was 19 or 20 when I read it. The entire time I was wondering why the hell I should care about that stupid twat or any of his dumbass decisions. When I finally finished it I had a strong urge to destroy the book by means of tearing or perhaps fire but it wasn't my copy so I had to settle for just throwing it across the room, my small revenge on it for having wasted my time.
belgand
+0 -0
I never understood the concept of role models. I can't say that I've ever had anyone I desired to emulate.
I never understood the concept of role models. I can't say that I've ever had anyone I desired to emulate.
belgand
+0 -0
Sad? That seems a bit odd to me. I mean, I guess I can see where you're coming from, but that's not how I felt about it at all.
I always saw it in much more of an existential light. Then again some people tend to find existentialism pretty sad and depressing. I just can't relate to that.
Sad? That seems a bit odd to me. I mean, I guess I can see where you're coming from, but that's not how I felt about it at all.
I always saw it in much more of an existential light. Then again some people tend to find existentialism pretty sad and depressing. I just can't relate to that.
sje46
+0 -0
GODDARNIT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME SAY THIS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
.. .I almost (I siad almost) cried at the very end. I'm not sure why. The love he felt towards his sister, I guess.
Anyway, I saw it existentially also. That's not why it was sad.
GODDARNIT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME SAY THIS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
.. .I almost (I siad almost) cried at the very end. I'm not sure why. The love he felt towards his sister, I guess.
Anyway, I saw it existentially also. That's not why it was sad.
tripleg
+0 -0
i'll jump on the hated catcher in the rye bandwagon, but did quite enjoy the scarlet letter.
i'll jump on the hated catcher in the rye bandwagon, but did quite enjoy the scarlet letter.
belgand
+0 -0
So when do we move on to discussing how great The Crucible is since we've already covered Death of a Salesman's inherent awesomosity?
So when do we move on to discussing how great The Crucible is since we've already covered Death of a Salesman's inherent awesomosity?
tripleg
+0 -0
oh man, the crucible is fuckin great. john hale is the shit.
oh man, the crucible is fuckin great. john hale is the shit.
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
Of course. I have a hard time believing that anyone couldn't at least appreciate that book. I'm not even the kind of person who is dumbstruck whenever someone says they don't like something that I think is great. It's just perfect is all.
It may well be a boy thing. I don't know how girls feel, but I doubt it's much like that.
Quote:
Catcher in the Rye anyone?
Of course. I have a hard time believing that anyone couldn't at least appreciate that book. I'm not even the kind of person who is dumbstruck whenever someone says they don't like something that I think is great. It's just perfect is all.
It may well be a boy thing. I don't know how girls feel, but I doubt it's much like that.
aperson
+0 -0
It's a dang masterpiece is what it is.
It's a dang masterpiece is what it is.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i fall asleep e'ry dern time i try to read Paradise Lost .
Milton's fault or mine?
i fall asleep e'ry dern time i try to read Paradise Lost .
Milton's fault or mine?
stereo
+0 -0
My feelings on Gatsby are weakly positive. It doesn't stand out, but it wasn't particularly bad in a way.
I have found that I went at literature the wrong way though - I started with modern stuff, made all kinds of connections myself, and now those pioneering works that invented these methods seem horribly slow paced since they're explaining every little detail as they go.
My feelings on Gatsby are weakly positive. It doesn't stand out, but it wasn't particularly bad in a way.
I have found that I went at literature the wrong way though - I started with modern stuff, made all kinds of connections myself, and now those pioneering works that invented these methods seem horribly slow paced since they're explaining every little detail as they go.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I enjoyed Gatsby as well.
I don't think there's any such thing as reading the wrong books in time first. Literature generally gets "better" as you progress forward in time, which simply means that as the way people think and talk evolves with the times, the ways a narrator can communicate with us can expand, and methods that worked before don't work as well as they used to.
I'm still occasionally thrilled when I'm reading a work from another era and I notice a turn of phrase or colloquialism that seems unexpectedly modern.
I enjoyed Gatsby as well.
I don't think there's any such thing as reading the wrong books in time first. Literature generally gets "better" as you progress forward in time, which simply means that as the way people think and talk evolves with the times, the ways a narrator can communicate with us can expand, and methods that worked before don't work as well as they used to.
I'm still occasionally thrilled when I'm reading a work from another era and I notice a turn of phrase or colloquialism that seems unexpectedly modern.
octafish
+0 -0
Word, without Death of a Salesman we would have no Glengarry Glen Ross , and then where the fuck would we be?
Word, without Death of a Salesman we would have no Glengarry Glen Ross , and then where the fuck would we be?
kickstart
+0 -0
The gym teacher on Freaks and Geeks
The gym teacher on Freaks and Geeks
theirateturk
+0 -0
What kind of DOUCHEBAG leaves out Original 1985 Biff
What kind of DOUCHEBAG leaves out Original 1985 Biff
null
+0 -0
It looks like both of them are having one wonderful night together.
It looks like both of them are having one wonderful night together.
havenless
+0 -0
I get the feeling that Cornelius is going to get killed off in this arc.
I get the feeling that Cornelius is going to get killed off in this arc.
peterjoel
+1 -0
When you die of old age in Achewood, you die in real life.
When you die of old age in Achewood, you die in real life.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
When you die in the game you die in Achewood.
When you die in the game you die in Achewood.
tragicone
+0 -0
I just lost the game.
I just lost the game.
speccer
+0 -0
Fuck you, sir. Not cool.
Fuck you, sir. Not cool.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Fuck along now, tragicone.
(I just lost as well.)
Fuck along now, tragicone.
(I just lost as well.)
tragicone
+0 -0
LOOK! I am just playing by the rules, if
I lose, I have to say so.
Would you have me cheat?
LOOK! I am just playing by the rules, if
I lose, I have to say so.
Would you have me cheat?
speccer
+0 -0
Last time I checked, posting on assetbar was not "saying so".
Last time I checked, posting on assetbar was not "saying so".
catgrl131
+0 -0
AW, COME ON!
AW, COME ON!
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Right, like the guy in the 3,000 dollar suit is gonna lose the game. COME ON!
Right, like the guy in the 3,000 dollar suit is gonna lose the game. COME ON!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
FUCK A GUY
(i know it was a stretch but seriouslAHHHH CMON FUCK A GUY)
FUCK A GUY
(i know it was a stretch but seriouslAHHHH CMON FUCK A GUY)
autrepoupee
+0 -0
in case this just seems like i'm saying catgrl (notoriously underage) should fuck a guy (which I definitely do not advocate young lady, stay in school!)
here is the link pertaining to whAHHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
in case this just seems like i'm saying catgrl (notoriously underage) should fuck a guy (which I definitely do not advocate young lady, stay in school!)
here is the link pertaining to whAHHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
tragicone
+0 -0
if you only knew that i have that as a favorite on my youtube account. Gets a chuckle, i must say.
if you only knew that i have that as a favorite on my youtube account. Gets a chuckle, i must say.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
i believe you mean a chuggle
i believe you mean a chuggle
autrepoupee
+1 -0
when i first made that pun, i thought it was tops
bitches lollin so hard, my neighbor called the cops
pigs came rollin up, about twelve -a- clock
told him what i said, defiantly whipped out my cock
when i first made that pun, i thought it was tops
bitches lollin so hard, my neighbor called the cops
pigs came rollin up, about twelve -a- clock
told him what i said, defiantly whipped out my cock
tragicone
+0 -0
Easily, a rhyme by my friend and yours, Chuggo.
Easily, a rhyme by my friend and yours, Chuggo.
falseprophet
+0 -0
And that's it for today's Writer's Almanac. I'm Garrison Keillor.
Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
And that's it for today's Writer's Almanac. I'm Garrison Keillor.
Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
theirateturk
+0 -1
YOU WIN YOU FOOL
YOU WIN
FUCKING PEOPLE DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT
IT'S "THE GAME WHERE YOU REMEMBER THE GAME" AND BY REMEMBERING, YOU WIN
PUTZ
YOU WIN YOU FOOL
YOU WIN
FUCKING PEOPLE DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT
IT'S "THE GAME WHERE YOU REMEMBER THE GAME" AND BY REMEMBERING, YOU WIN
PUTZ
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Uhh...
Oh btw, I've been ignoring lechatbotte but still reading his comments. But I read today's. Has he officially jumped the shark into trolldom?
Please say yes.
Uhh...
Oh btw, I've been ignoring lechatbotte but still reading his comments. But I read today's. Has he officially jumped the shark into trolldom?
Please say yes.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Did you mean to reply to me because I am confused
Did you mean to reply to me because I am confused
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah.
Yeah.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I am very confused : (
I am very confused : (
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I was replying to you and commenting on lechatbotte at the same time.
How is that confusing?
DID THE BASKETBALL TEAM STEAL YOUR COMMON SENSE ALONG WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S PURITY?
I was replying to you and commenting on lechatbotte at the same time.
How is that confusing?
DID THE BASKETBALL TEAM STEAL YOUR COMMON SENSE ALONG WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S PURITY?
sje46
+0 -0
Which comment of lachatbotte?
Where on this page can I fnd this specific comment you speak of?
Which comment of lachatbotte?
Where on this page can I fnd this specific comment you speak of?
theirateturk
+0 -0
Are you confused because I'm confused
Are you confused because I'm confused
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This comment.
Oh god I hope this works...
This comment.
Oh god I hope this works...
theirateturk
+0 -0
Oh. I understand.
(I do not understand)
Oh. I understand.
(I do not understand)
lechatbotte
+0 -0
You know, they say that when you dream your falling, if you hit bottom you'll for-real die.
I have often dreamt I was falling, and I have dreamt that I hit the ground and died. I have dreamt rolling a car off a cliff at 130 k.p.h. and kicking it. I have dreamt being shot in the chest and in the head at short range. I didn't survive, and the preemptive burial in the the landfill was most ingracious. I've been beheaded with a shovel, impacted by a freight train, involved in an airplane reconnecting with the earth in abrupt and fiery fashion. I have morned the loss of my own life, as well as that of members of my family.
I have often pondered if this quirk of dreaming my own death having nil effect on my actual status as a living thing is indicative of a more general (if unappreciated) rule, or if I'm just an odd fellow.
I have finally come to terms with it: I'm just not smart enough to realize I should be dead!
You know, they say that when you dream your falling, if you hit bottom you'll for-real die.
I have often dreamt I was falling, and I have dreamt that I hit the ground and died. I have dreamt rolling a car off a cliff at 130 k.p.h. and kicking it. I have dreamt being shot in the chest and in the head at short range. I didn't survive, and the preemptive burial in the the landfill was most ingracious. I've been beheaded with a shovel, impacted by a freight train, involved in an airplane reconnecting with the earth in abrupt and fiery fashion. I have morned the loss of my own life, as well as that of members of my family.
I have often pondered if this quirk of dreaming my own death having nil effect on my actual status as a living thing is indicative of a more general (if unappreciated) rule, or if I'm just an odd fellow.
I have finally come to terms with it: I'm just not smart enough to realize I should be dead!
stereo
+0 -0
I've only dreampt my little death.
I've only dreampt my little death.
tekende
+0 -0
I like how the Lazy A kind of looks like a Whataburger.
I like how the Lazy A kind of looks like a Whataburger.
tragicone
+0 -0
It has got to be an implied I-Hop.
It has got to be an implied I-Hop.
akadriver
+0 -0
It's one of those places that was formerly an IHOP but is now something much better, but still looks like an IHOP. There's an excellent Korean restaurant near me that is quite obviously a former Pizza Hut; the experience of having such good food while sitting in a Pizza Hut only adds to the experience.
It's one of those places that was formerly an IHOP but is now something much better, but still looks like an IHOP. There's an excellent Korean restaurant near me that is quite obviously a former Pizza Hut; the experience of having such good food while sitting in a Pizza Hut only adds to the experience.
kickstart
+0 -0
NotFoolingAnybody.com
For all your "oh man, that bank totally used to be a Taco Bell" needs.
NotFoolingAnybody.com
For all your "oh man, that bank totally used to be a Taco Bell" needs.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
That is amusing. Does all of the Midwest and Toronto look like 1985, or just the parts they took pictures of?
That is amusing. Does all of the Midwest and Toronto look like 1985, or just the parts they took pictures of?
akadriver
+0 -0
The site doesn't have the best fast food conversion I've ever seen: the Loyola Art Department building, a former Dennys.
The site doesn't have the best fast food conversion I've ever seen: the Loyola Art Department building, a former Dennys.
tekende
+0 -0
If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where do women with one leg work?
IHOP!
If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where do women with one leg work?
IHOP!
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
Fucking A man. Connie is the definition of "MAN" that we all strive to acheive.
Fucking A man. Connie is the definition of "MAN" that we all strive to acheive.
aperson
+0 -0
Amen. If I have to fuck a man, then let that man be Cornelius Bear.
Amen. If I have to fuck a man, then let that man be Cornelius Bear.
johnnygeo
+1 -0
The restaurant is named the Lazy A, but their logo appears to be more of a Rocking A.
The restaurant is named the Lazy A, but their logo appears to be more of a Rocking A.
hamscout
+2 -1
After eating at the Lazy A,
Cornelius was rocking her A, and eating at the Lazy V.
Sorry, strippers!
After eating at the Lazy A,
Cornelius was rocking her A, and eating at the Lazy V.
Sorry, strippers!
talix18
+1 -0
Was I the only one who, upon seeing the hastily painted (as evidenced by the drips) numbers on the stalls, imagined a dire fate awaited our Cornelius? Envisioned him hooded and trapped in a stable of similarly unlucky would-be courters?
No? Just me? Alrighty then.
Was I the only one who, upon seeing the hastily painted (as evidenced by the drips) numbers on the stalls, imagined a dire fate awaited our Cornelius? Envisioned him hooded and trapped in a stable of similarly unlucky would-be courters?
No? Just me? Alrighty then.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
"The room was full of milkmen."
"The room was full of milkmen."
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I will admit I saw that too. I was afraid her boyfriend was that one old ice cream man or something. I was very relieved to see good things follow. I will admit that I still fear that Chis Onsdeat will be doing something sad soon
I will admit I saw that too. I was afraid her boyfriend was that one old ice cream man or something. I was very relieved to see good things follow. I will admit that I still fear that Chis Onsdeat will be doing something sad soon
falseprophet
+14 -0
Teodor is the dude who can never get a woman.
Pat is the dude who can never want a woman.
Roast Beef is the dude who can never appreciate a woman.
Ray is the dude who can never love a woman.
Cornelius is the dude who can never keep a woman.
Lyle is the dude who can never use a condom.
Philippe is five.
Teodor is the dude who can never get a woman.
Pat is the dude who can never want a woman.
Roast Beef is the dude who can never appreciate a woman.
Ray is the dude who can never love a woman.
Cornelius is the dude who can never keep a woman.
Lyle is the dude who can never use a condom.
Philippe is five.
stereo
+0 -0
Falseprophet is the dude who can make generalizations.
*~* Black America will hunt and kill me *~*
Falseprophet is the dude who can make generalizations.
*~* Black America will hunt and kill me *~*
aperson
+0 -0
Falseprophet: a breath of fresh, bigoted air in this stiflingly hard-line PC world of ours, that we call assetbar.
Falseprophet: a breath of fresh, bigoted air in this stiflingly hard-line PC world of ours, that we call assetbar.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Dudez don't you see? It is okay for me to make generalizations about black people because I am one. By sipping from the well of the Collective Unconscious , I know what all black people are thinking.
Alan Keyes: Well what if I think something different?
Then I don't know that.
Dudez don't you see? It is okay for me to make generalizations about black people because I am one. By sipping from the well of the Collective Unconscious , I know what all black people are thinking.
Alan Keyes: Well what if I think something different?
Then I don't know that.
sje46
+1 -1
Black people and white people are equal in all ways except you guys aren't as good at camouflaging in snow.
Black people and white people are equal in all ways except you guys aren't as good at camouflaging in snow.
gormster
+0 -0
I applaud your bravery for linking to your comic from what is ostensibly the best of all comics. It's a hard act to follow.
Unfortunately I cannot applaud your comic. Not even a little bit.
I applaud your bravery for linking to your comic from what is ostensibly the best of all comics. It's a hard act to follow.
Unfortunately I cannot applaud your comic. Not even a little bit.
aperson
+0 -0
Racist.
Racist.
sje46
+0 -0
How do you know that this is his comic?
How do you know that this is his comic?
aperson
+0 -0
By cleverly analysing urls and profile images. I'm pretty shit hot, you see.
By cleverly analysing urls and profile images. I'm pretty shit hot, you see.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Also if you look at my Assetbar profile, I link to it right there.
Also if you look at my Assetbar profile, I link to it right there.
sje46
+1 -0
Well, I think it's hilarious.
Well, I think it's hilarious.
speccer
+1 -0
prophet draws very asian for a black man.
prophet draws very asian for a black man.
falseprophet
+0 -0
how does a black man draw?
how does a black man draw?
theguitarhero
+2 -0
Black people draw like this.
White people draw like this.
Black people draw like this.
White people draw like this.
falseprophet
+0 -0
When white people's lights go out they panic
When black people's lights go out they PLAN IT
When white people's lights go out they panic
When black people's lights go out they PLAN IT
kamet
+0 -0
Chris Rock?
Chris Rock?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Actually it's from an episode of Chappelle's Show , but good try.
A good try.
Actually it's from an episode of Chappelle's Show , but good try.
A good try.
lechatbotte
+0 -1
Would I get bitch slapped if I suggested that the difference is one of tool of choice? Last time I checked around here, black people liked to draw a gun!
Sheesh, don't get all bent. I was only kidding. . .
Would I get bitch slapped if I suggested that the difference is one of tool of choice? Last time I checked around here, black people liked to draw a gun!
Sheesh, don't get all bent. I was only kidding. . .
stereo
+0 -0
Poll says:
Poll says:
falseprophet
+0 -0
What the hell MySpace page is this shit?
What the hell MySpace page is this shit?
sje46
+0 -0
I wouldn't mind Myspace so much if it didn't freeze up my computer EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I wouldn't mind Myspace so much if it didn't freeze up my computer EVERY SINGLE TIME.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I am 26 years old and I have a MySpace and I do not feel bad about myself.
I am 26 years old and I have a MySpace and I do not feel bad about myself.
rowboat
+0 -0
I am 30. I have one, too. No comment on the rest of that.
I am 30. I have one, too. No comment on the rest of that.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Do not feel bad about yourself, rowboat. WE ARE RAD.
Do not feel bad about yourself, rowboat. WE ARE RAD.
kamet
+0 -0
With the whole unlimited photos thing, it's awesome.
With the whole unlimited photos thing, it's awesome.
sje46
+0 -0
I am of the opinion that Facebook is better.
Especially New Facebook.
I am of the opinion that Facebook is better.
Especially New Facebook.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I love the new Facebook. I don't see what the big crisis is about it.
I love the new Facebook. I don't see what the big crisis is about it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Me too!
Me too!
aperson
+1 -0
Facebook is a diabolical cattle truck that brainwashes your friends into being drooling morons (throw a sheep! virtual hug! my zombie gave your fuckin ninja a blowjob! water my wittle cabbage patch! change my virtual nappy I done a wee wee!).
SCREW YOU FACEBOOK. FUCK YOU!
Mind you, it's probably one of the less horrible looking stupidity-durch-peer-pressure sites though. Sorry, I meant to say 'social networking' sites there.
Excuse me, I just need to go and check my facebook page.
Facebook is a diabolical cattle truck that brainwashes your friends into being drooling morons (throw a sheep! virtual hug! my zombie gave your fuckin ninja a blowjob! water my wittle cabbage patch! change my virtual nappy I done a wee wee!).
SCREW YOU FACEBOOK. FUCK YOU!
Mind you, it's probably one of the less horrible looking stupidity-durch-peer-pressure sites though. Sorry, I meant to say 'social networking' sites there.
Excuse me, I just need to go and check my facebook page.
aperson
+1 -0
Facebook is a diabolical cattle truck that brainwashes your friends into being drooling morons (throw a sheep! virtual hug! my zombie gave your fuckin ninja a blowjob! water my wittle cabbage patch! change my virtual nappy I done a wee wee!).
SCREW YOU FACEBOOK. FUCK YOU!
Mind you, it's probably one of the less horrible looking stupidity-durch-peer-pressure sites though. Sorry, I meant to say 'social networking' sites there.
Excuse me, I just need to go and check my facebook page.
Facebook is a diabolical cattle truck that brainwashes your friends into being drooling morons (throw a sheep! virtual hug! my zombie gave your fuckin ninja a blowjob! water my wittle cabbage patch! change my virtual nappy I done a wee wee!).
SCREW YOU FACEBOOK. FUCK YOU!
Mind you, it's probably one of the less horrible looking stupidity-durch-peer-pressure sites though. Sorry, I meant to say 'social networking' sites there.
Excuse me, I just need to go and check my facebook page.
aperson
+1 -0
So angry I pressed that Post button twice. SCREW YOU FACEBOOK etc.
So angry I pressed that Post button twice. SCREW YOU FACEBOOK etc.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm sorry, the double post only made me laugh out loud hard.
SUPER CHUBS FOR YOU.
I'm sorry, the double post only made me laugh out loud hard.
SUPER CHUBS FOR YOU.
aperson
+0 -0
aperson sent theguitarhero a virtual chubby! Click here to join in.
aperson sent theguitarhero a virtual chubby! Click here to join in.
speccer
+0 -0
V-Chub to you, aperson.
V-Chub to you, aperson.
sje46
+0 -0
Listen. Anything can be abused. It is not good to eat an entire thing of Coricidan Cough and Cold. It is also not good to send out those applications. It does not mean that cough medicine is bad. Just the people who send you 20 application requests a day. Those are the people you have to block.
I like Facebook to keep in touch.
Listen. Anything can be abused. It is not good to eat an entire thing of Coricidan Cough and Cold. It is also not good to send out those applications. It does not mean that cough medicine is bad. Just the people who send you 20 application requests a day. Those are the people you have to block.
I like Facebook to keep in touch.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Especially with that scowl his avaticon has.
Especially with that scowl his avaticon has.
old_crow
+1 -0
People fear change. This is a truth as old as the hills and the bones Nice Pete has buried beneath them.
People fear change. This is a truth as old as the hills and the bones Nice Pete has buried beneath them.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Great comic. Comix.
Alan Keyes- is he black? He's not black. Nuh-uh. Listen in your head how he says "Well what if I think something different?"
Def not black.
Great comic. Comix.
Alan Keyes- is he black? He's not black. Nuh-uh. Listen in your head how he says "Well what if I think something different?"
Def not black.
cracker
+0 -0
Nice Pete is the dude who can love a woman but has trouble expressing it.
Nice Pete is the dude who can love a woman but has trouble expressing it.
jaydub
+0 -0
Only if you consider murder *troublesome*
Only if you consider murder *troublesome*
tripleg
+0 -0
he's just an excitable boy
he's just an excitable boy
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Actually isn't Todd the dude who can never use a condom?
Actually isn't Todd the dude who can never use a condom?
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
Todd is the dude who don't care what he infects a woman with.
Todd is the dude who don't care what he infects a woman with.
theguitarhero
+2 -0
I like the idea that Connie has what amounts to a Batcave.
I like the idea that Connie has what amounts to a Batcave.
aperson
+0 -0
I agree this is an awesome revelation (that the dude owns property). I'm thinking a hunting lodge with a bearskin rug and many exotic possessions garnered during his travels is located somewhere on this mountain estate.
I agree this is an awesome revelation (that the dude owns property). I'm thinking a hunting lodge with a bearskin rug and many exotic possessions garnered during his travels is located somewhere on this mountain estate.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Plus it wouldn't be a batcave it'd be a bearcave.
Plus it wouldn't be a batcave it'd be a bearcave.
tekende
+1 -0
A bearcave is something...completely different.
A bearcave is something...completely different.
gormster
+1 -0
Yeah that is where a bear lives.
Yeah that is where a bear lives.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this comment is very funny to me.
you are funny, gormster. have the only chubby this comment will probably ever get.
this comment is very funny to me.
you are funny, gormster. have the only chubby this comment will probably ever get.
gormster
+0 -0
That actually seemed kind of passive aggressive. Like "I liked this but there is absolutely no chance anyone else will, ever."
On the other hand, I know what you meant, and it is probably likely. Comments at the bottom of the page tend to get very little love.
That actually seemed kind of passive aggressive. Like "I liked this but there is absolutely no chance anyone else will, ever."
On the other hand, I know what you meant, and it is probably likely. Comments at the bottom of the page tend to get very little love.
stereo
+0 -0
That's crazy, why would bears have rugs made of their dead?
I don't have a skin carpet...
That's crazy, why would bears have rugs made of their dead?
I don't have a skin carpet...
stereo
+0 -0
Can you even buy skin carpets? Maybe.
Can you even buy skin carpets? Maybe.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
We can talk if you want, but keep it on the down low
We can talk if you want, but keep it on the down low
theguitarhero
+2 -0
Try what I did. 10k and a hobo up front.
Try what I did. 10k and a hobo up front.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I recently finished a kinda bony, feminist SoCal skin. Don't tell anyone around here though, they all liked her
I recently finished a kinda bony, feminist SoCal skin. Don't tell anyone around here though, they all liked her
stereo
+0 -0
What about a *whispers* foreskin carpet
What about a *whispers* foreskin carpet
maximus
+0 -0
well, i'll take it..but...
but only if I can watch
well, i'll take it..but...
but only if I can watch
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well i felt that was a bit predictable.
//Cleese
well i felt that was a bit predictable.
//Cleese
gormster
+0 -0
What a senseless waste of human life.
What a senseless waste of human life.
irondave
+0 -0
I'm saying no bearskin rug. Professional courtesy.
I'm saying no bearskin rug. Professional courtesy.
aperson
+0 -0
Hmm. Yes. Although maybe a souvenir from... mmmno.
Hmm. Yes. Although maybe a souvenir from... mmmno.
redphillip
+0 -0
I read this that it is the woman's place, or a place to which she has special access. I read it as Cornelius going along for the ride. Happily, carefree, because 'In her every aspect is unapologetic LIFE!'
I read this that it is the woman's place, or a place to which she has special access. I read it as Cornelius going along for the ride. Happily, carefree, because 'In her every aspect is unapologetic LIFE!'
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Now, I assumed that Cornelius belonged to a soapboax racing league, and they all have their own cars and helmets stored here. 24 different cars, all racing each other down the mountain on a Sunday afternoon. But a Batcave with a diving suit, pony, giant shilling, robot dinosaur, etc., would be cool, too.
Now, I assumed that Cornelius belonged to a soapboax racing league, and they all have their own cars and helmets stored here. 24 different cars, all racing each other down the mountain on a Sunday afternoon. But a Batcave with a diving suit, pony, giant shilling, robot dinosaur, etc., would be cool, too.
historyandmetal
+0 -0
I was pretty lukewarm on Cornelius getting action until the final panel. Very suddenly I felt warm and compassionate. This strip unearthed a desire I wasn't aware I had: a desire to see my man Cornelius satisfied and relaxed.
I was pretty lukewarm on Cornelius getting action until the final panel. Very suddenly I felt warm and compassionate. This strip unearthed a desire I wasn't aware I had: a desire to see my man Cornelius satisfied and relaxed.
mikestan
+1 -0
The final task of the Badass Games... And Cornelius sticks the landing like the true basass he is.
The final task of the Badass Games... And Cornelius sticks the landing like the true basass he is.
jonmw
+0 -0
At first, I didn't realise that it was a soap-box racer. I thought that Connie happened to keep one of those really old hotrod racers in a stable somewhere.
At first, I didn't realise that it was a soap-box racer. I thought that Connie happened to keep one of those really old hotrod racers in a stable somewhere.
stereo
+0 -0
It could be both. He's gonna have to tow it up the hill somehow.
It could be both. He's gonna have to tow it up the hill somehow.
usversusthem
+0 -0
...and on that day, Chris Onstad made all of Assetbar wish they were in love with a stripper. Strange times indeed, my friends, strange times indeed.
...and on that day, Chris Onstad made all of Assetbar wish they were in love with a stripper. Strange times indeed, my friends, strange times indeed.
wozzeck
+0 -0
You've never been?
You've never been?
whodi
+0 -0
Cornelius! Did you score yourself some little bitta-bitta action?
Cornelius! Did you score yourself some little bitta-bitta action?
kamet
+0 -0
Cornelius knows how to show a lady a good time.
Cornelius knows how to show a lady a good time.
aperson
+0 -0
Depends how long it takes to eat pancakes and a ham steak, and drink coffee, and then walk from the Lazy A to Achewood Court. If we can answer this, we can calculate the sexual staying power of this venerable stuffed bear. OK nobody calculate this!
Depends how long it takes to eat pancakes and a ham steak, and drink coffee, and then walk from the Lazy A to Achewood Court. If we can answer this, we can calculate the sexual staying power of this venerable stuffed bear. OK nobody calculate this!
belgand
+0 -0
You also assume that they have just fallen asleep. We do not know at which point we are entering the scene so it could be a great deal later.
It also depends on the quality of service at the Lazy A which is fundamentally unknowable by all.
You also assume that they have just fallen asleep. We do not know at which point we are entering the scene so it could be a great deal later.
It also depends on the quality of service at the Lazy A which is fundamentally unknowable by all.
aperson
+0 -0
Well it's about an hour and a half after pancakes and coffee and they look asleep. The window is 1.5 hours! Start your calculators - no dont!
Well it's about an hour and a half after pancakes and coffee and they look asleep. The window is 1.5 hours! Start your calculators - no dont!
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Between the silhouette in Panel 9 and the time stamp in Panel 10, I'm assuming that there's a decent time lapse between the two. I believe, after a death-defying ride down the mountain, they pulled to a stop in a pasture and Cornelius pulled an old blanket from the back of the racer. Then they made love for hours under the full moon in the night air. Only as the sun came up did they decide it was time for a restorative breakfast and then bed. I mean, after a romantic ride like that, the mood was definitely right for one thing and it was not ham steaks.
Between the silhouette in Panel 9 and the time stamp in Panel 10, I'm assuming that there's a decent time lapse between the two. I believe, after a death-defying ride down the mountain, they pulled to a stop in a pasture and Cornelius pulled an old blanket from the back of the racer. Then they made love for hours under the full moon in the night air. Only as the sun came up did they decide it was time for a restorative breakfast and then bed. I mean, after a romantic ride like that, the mood was definitely right for one thing and it was not ham steaks.
aperson
+0 -0
I would go further and posit that Cornelius received some form of commodore while driving . The seating arrangement makes it almost certain.
I would go further and posit that Cornelius received some form of commodore while driving . The seating arrangement makes it almost certain.
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
I believe 22 contains The Flivver. [url]https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuapXN6NX[url]
I believe 22 contains The Flivver. [url]https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuapXN6NX[url]
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
How are they going to get the soapbox car back up the mountain?
If you want Cornelius to wake up and find both the woman and the car gone, turn to page 32.
To try to push the car back up the mountain, turn to page 93.
To use Airwolf, turn to page 33.
If you want this night to never end, turn to page 45.
How are they going to get the soapbox car back up the mountain?
If you want Cornelius to wake up and find both the woman and the car gone, turn to page 32.
To try to push the car back up the mountain, turn to page 93.
To use Airwolf, turn to page 33.
If you want this night to never end, turn to page 45.
firedmyass
+0 -0
Cornelius ain't no little spoon, y'all %u2013 she is full-on top pressing her velvet into his hip. This is a sleeping arrangement of the highest quality.
Cornelius ain't no little spoon, y'all %u2013 she is full-on top pressing her velvet into his hip. This is a sleeping arrangement of the highest quality.
ctrl_z
+0 -0
Damn Cornelius
Damn Cornelius
mattylite
+0 -0
Gravity is what slowly drags you down and makes you die in this world. No older stripper's breasts or old man's jowls are safe from it. But there's no way to say SCREW YOU GRAVITY, FUCK YOU! like rollin' a motorless car down a mountain, hoisting some greasy food from your plate to your mouth, and makin' the beast with two bachaches in a too small bed.
Gravity is what slowly drags you down and makes you die in this world. No older stripper's breasts or old man's jowls are safe from it. But there's no way to say SCREW YOU GRAVITY, FUCK YOU! like rollin' a motorless car down a mountain, hoisting some greasy food from your plate to your mouth, and makin' the beast with two bachaches in a too small bed.
mattylite
+0 -0
*Backaches. Please no jokey about the baroquey.
*Backaches. Please no jokey about the baroquey.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Why make a joke about Bach? Most likely these jokes would go for baroque.
Why make a joke about Bach? Most likely these jokes would go for baroque.
opprobrium
+0 -0
congratulations connie
congratulations connie
falseprophet
+0 -0
You are the equation of the week!
(The equal signs symbolizes his wang)
You are the equation of the week!
(The equal signs symbolizes his wang)
gormster
+0 -0
8 = D
8 = D
perilon
+0 -0
No, 8 = VIII
No, 8 = VIII
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You should see a doctor about that
You should see a doctor about that
sje46
+0 -0
Not Dr. Zoidberg though.
Not Dr. Zoidberg though.
speccer
+0 -0
Why not? He's a successful doctor with many surviving patients!
Why not? He's a successful doctor with many surviving patients!
desert_donkey
+0 -0
huh.
the Lazy A looks like at least 10 "greasy spoons" on the N/S hwy corridor of central oregon.
as for the strip.. huh.
huh.
the Lazy A looks like at least 10 "greasy spoons" on the N/S hwy corridor of central oregon.
as for the strip.. huh.
kickstart
+0 -0
PAGING USER "RedBarchetta"
Connie has stripped away the old debris that hides a shining car. A brilliant soapbox racer from a better, vanished time.
PAGING USER "RedBarchetta"
Connie has stripped away the old debris that hides a shining car. A brilliant soapbox racer from a better, vanished time.
mrchee
+0 -0
good, classy, non-self-important achewood
onstad still does it by accident sometimes
good, classy, non-self-important achewood
onstad still does it by accident sometimes
redphillip
+0 -1
Mr Chee, you are displaying the crabbiness for which seagulls are justly shunned.
Mr Chee, you are displaying the crabbiness for which seagulls are justly shunned.
irondave
+0 -0
aperson
+4 -0
I like to imagine he's going at about 2mph, and there's a repetitive squeaking coming from one of the wheels.
I like to imagine he's going at about 2mph, and there's a repetitive squeaking coming from one of the wheels.
tekende
+0 -0
Whoah man retarded
Whoah man retarded
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And everyone is sighing.
And everyone is sighing.
tripleg
+2 -0
i like that i can make it go by scrolling the picture.
i like that i can make it go by scrolling the picture.
irondave
+0 -0
I was so hoping it would appear that way once posted.
I was so hoping it would appear that way once posted.
rowboat
+0 -0
Tell me that's you, man. Tell me!
Tell me that's you, man. Tell me!
irondave
+0 -0
I wish I had the talent to build that car. It was sweet, a local hot-rod shop built it for this fundraiser/derby. I may see if I can get a team together for next year.
I wish I had the talent to build that car. It was sweet, a local hot-rod shop built it for this fundraiser/derby. I may see if I can get a team together for next year.
magnetocat
+0 -0
shortly after this, Cornelius will enter next year's Great Outdoor Fight. He will win without as much as lifting a finger.
And he will bring his own brandy.
shortly after this, Cornelius will enter next year's Great Outdoor Fight. He will win without as much as lifting a finger.
And he will bring his own brandy.
jar
+0 -1
That would be the Happiest Thing.
That would be the Happiest Thing.
mrchee
+3 -1
no you ass, that would be ridiculous fanservice
no you ass, that would be ridiculous fanservice
kaz
+0 -0
fuck yes
fuck yes
tripleoptics
+0 -0
they say your abilities as a love-maker only improve with age. well...at least that's what richard dreyfuss says...
they say your abilities as a love-maker only improve with age. well...at least that's what richard dreyfuss says...
gladi8orrex
+2 -1
lik moast uv u i ha b a big penis sos win i shits it dips n2 deh bowl, wat i due is i place it ontip o my thigh wiles i shits but lik u asswell i p ass i shit an sinc is uta deh bowl i employ eh yoose o a mconalds coke cup.
question: wat do use do 2 keep ur peen out o deh bowls wile YOU shits?
thx
lik moast uv u i ha b a big penis sos win i shits it dips n2 deh bowl, wat i due is i place it ontip o my thigh wiles i shits but lik u asswell i p ass i shit an sinc is uta deh bowl i employ eh yoose o a mconalds coke cup.
question: wat do use do 2 keep ur peen out o deh bowls wile YOU shits?
thx
sje46
+1 -0
A Burger King Pepsi cup.
A Burger King Pepsi cup.
stereo
+0 -0
Booster seat.
Booster seat.
hamscout
+1 -0
IZ shtzn N UR pohT, peen N UR mom.
IZ shtzn N UR pohT, peen N UR mom.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
CAN I HAZ SHT?
CAN I HAZ SHT?
maximus
+0 -0
a big penis i shits it dips bowl i is i place it my thigh i shits but i ass i shit is bowl i employ a coke cup.
question: do use keep out bowls YOU shits?
a big penis i shits it dips bowl i is i place it my thigh i shits but i ass i shit is bowl i employ a coke cup.
question: do use keep out bowls YOU shits?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
gah, wat nd dick. i shits pon un ensted.
wats nd fdix. wats nd fidx...
gah, wat nd dick. i shits pon un ensted.
wats nd fdix. wats nd fidx...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
like most of you i have a big penis so when i *poop* it dips into the bowl, what i do is place it on top of my thigh while i *bathroom* but like you as well i pee as i *defecate* and since it's out of the bowl i employ the use of a McDonald's coke cup.
question: what do you use to keep your peen out of the bowl while YOU *use the toilet*?
thanks.
like most of you i have a big penis so when i *poop* it dips into the bowl, what i do is place it on top of my thigh while i *bathroom* but like you as well i pee as i *defecate* and since it's out of the bowl i employ the use of a McDonald's coke cup.
question: what do you use to keep your peen out of the bowl while YOU *use the toilet*?
thanks.
jar
+0 -0
Wow just noticed the title to this strip. Very poetic.
Wow just noticed the title to this strip. Very poetic.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
coernaliouse used deh numb 254==3 car. concedence? i dun fink sow
coernaliouse used deh numb 254==3 car. concedence? i dun fink sow
sje46
+0 -0
You misspelled "think", dear.
You misspelled "think", dear.
maximus
+0 -0
"Un petit d'un petit
S'etonne au hall
Un petit d'un petit
Ah! degres de falles!
Un dol de qui ne sort cesse
Un dol de qui ne se mene
Qu'importe un petit d'un petit
Tout Gai de Reguennes."
"Un petit d'un petit
S'etonne au hall
Un petit d'un petit
Ah! degres de falles!
Un dol de qui ne sort cesse
Un dol de qui ne se mene
Qu'importe un petit d'un petit
Tout Gai de Reguennes."
sje46
+0 -0
Hey! I'm not small!
Hey! I'm not small!
thejungleface
+0 -0
yes, but WHAT is in #22 and #24?
yes, but WHAT is in #22 and #24?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
YOUR MOMMA.
YOUR MOMMA.
tostitos
+0 -0
PROBABLY GOT HEAD FROM FOOKER IN AN AIRPORT.
PROBABLY GOT HEAD FROM FOOKER IN AN AIRPORT.
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
[https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022005] the flivver?
[https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022005] the flivver?
rowboat
+0 -0
You are so bad at that.
You are so bad at that.
speccer
+0 -0
Ok, dan, do what I do:
[url=https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022005]the flivver[/url#]
Except remove the pound sign (#) so it works.
Alternative: Find another forum you enjoy that employs the use of BBCode. Use their formatting tools to craft a fine post, and then copy and paste the nuts and bolts into assetbar!
Ok, dan, do what I do:
[url=https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022005]the flivver[/url#]
Except remove the pound sign (#) so it works.
Alternative: Find another forum you enjoy that employs the use of BBCode. Use their formatting tools to craft a fine post, and then copy and paste the nuts and bolts into assetbar!
maximus
+0 -0
pogo
+0 -0
ACHEWOOD IS SEVEN!
I just realized this strip started October 1, 2001. Did anyone mention that yet this month? If so, sorry I'm old. But Happy Birthday (late) Achewood.
ACHEWOOD IS SEVEN!
I just realized this strip started October 1, 2001. Did anyone mention that yet this month? If so, sorry I'm old. But Happy Birthday (late) Achewood.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
God DAMNIT why is everyone born in October?!!!
God DAMNIT why is everyone born in October?!!!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Because we are better than you.
Also because our parents got their bone on around New Year's, while very drunk, in a room full of other people
Because we are better than you.
Also because our parents got their bone on around New Year's, while very drunk, in a room full of other people
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Truth.
Truth.
gyrate
+0 -0
Because they prefer performing physical antics instead of cooking or arranging chairs
Because they prefer performing physical antics instead of cooking or arranging chairs
speccer
+0 -0
You didn't notice the anniversary shirt deal at the shop? There were a bunch of ads, and people discussed it a bunch...
You didn't notice the anniversary shirt deal at the shop? There were a bunch of ads, and people discussed it a bunch...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I really wanted that shirt but I didn't want to spend $50.
I really wanted that shirt but I didn't want to spend $50.
rowboat
+0 -0
I am so bad. I've been obsessing over this comic for over a year now and I still haven't given the man one damn cent.
I am not the reason he keeps doing this.
I am so bad. I've been obsessing over this comic for over a year now and I still haven't given the man one damn cent.
I am not the reason he keeps doing this.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I only bought a shirt (bunny ambulance, what what) but seriously, buy a frigging sticker set or something , jeez.
I only bought a shirt (bunny ambulance, what what) but seriously, buy a frigging sticker set or something , jeez.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
alright i am about to ask the dork of ages question
are those stickers okay to put on a car? is there a difference? what do people over 10 do with stickers, if not put them on a car?
alright i am about to ask the dork of ages question
are those stickers okay to put on a car? is there a difference? what do people over 10 do with stickers, if not put them on a car?
tripleg
+0 -0
i decorated the dorky little briefcase i use to carry around my students' homework and lesson plans
i decorated the dorky little briefcase i use to carry around my students' homework and lesson plans
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Laptop laptop laptop.
Laptop laptop laptop.
irondave
+0 -0
Guitar case.
Guitar case.
akadriver
+0 -0
the side of my enormous beige PC tower is decorated like a middle school girl's notebook.
the side of my enormous beige PC tower is decorated like a middle school girl's notebook.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I ordered a signed strip, and the day it came in the mail was probably one of the best days of my whole life.
So maybe consider that.
I ordered a signed strip, and the day it came in the mail was probably one of the best days of my whole life.
So maybe consider that.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, I don't really wear shirts with things on them, so a signed strip might be the way to go. As for which one, I could immediately narrow it down to about three strips, but from there it would get really too difficult. Maybe just the cookbook would be the way to go.
Anyway, if it helps my karma any, I introduced someone to Achewood a little while back who went on to buy almost every single thing that is sold here. So there's that.
Well, I don't really wear shirts with things on them, so a signed strip might be the way to go. As for which one, I could immediately narrow it down to about three strips, but from there it would get really too difficult. Maybe just the cookbook would be the way to go.
Anyway, if it helps my karma any, I introduced someone to Achewood a little while back who went on to buy almost every single thing that is sold here. So there's that.
stereo
+0 -0
Alt: He does not wear shirts at all.
Alt: He does not wear shirts at all.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Truth.
Protip: it doesn't make you a conformist.
Truth.
Protip: it doesn't make you a conformist.
redphillip
+0 -0
Rowboat, the cookbook is wonderful. I've tried only a few recipes yet, since I have no social life and want to share some of the more exciting ones with dinner guests I'm unlikely ever to have. But it's really good, full of excellent advice about lots of things and food.
You may also find yourself well-rewarded by the collected Man Why You Even Got TO Do A Thing . It's hard to find such a concentrated experience of everything that is Roast Beefy.
Rowboat, the cookbook is wonderful. I've tried only a few recipes yet, since I have no social life and want to share some of the more exciting ones with dinner guests I'm unlikely ever to have. But it's really good, full of excellent advice about lots of things and food.
You may also find yourself well-rewarded by the collected Man Why You Even Got TO Do A Thing . It's hard to find such a concentrated experience of everything that is Roast Beefy.
redphillip
+0 -0
Rowboat, the cookbook is wonderful. I've tried only a few recipes yet, since I have no social life and want to share some of the more exciting ones with dinner guests I'm unlikely ever to have. But it's really good, full of excellent advice about lots of things and food.
You may also find yourself well-rewarded by the collected Man Why You Even Got TO Do A Thing . It's hard to find such a concentrated experience of everything that is Roast Beefy.
Rowboat, the cookbook is wonderful. I've tried only a few recipes yet, since I have no social life and want to share some of the more exciting ones with dinner guests I'm unlikely ever to have. But it's really good, full of excellent advice about lots of things and food.
You may also find yourself well-rewarded by the collected Man Why You Even Got TO Do A Thing . It's hard to find such a concentrated experience of everything that is Roast Beefy.
rowboat
+0 -0
I must do this.
I must do this.
mattylite
+0 -0
A while back someone introduced me to achewood and I love the hell out of it, and I also love reading on the shitter, but I also don't like to have my laptop in the bathroom, in case of A Problem, so I bought all the books, so it is not just mine, but two people's karma who are set straight. Achewood makes WONDERFUL bathroom reading. I have pictures to prove it.
A while back someone introduced me to achewood and I love the hell out of it, and I also love reading on the shitter, but I also don't like to have my laptop in the bathroom, in case of A Problem, so I bought all the books, so it is not just mine, but two people's karma who are set straight. Achewood makes WONDERFUL bathroom reading. I have pictures to prove it.
rowboat
+1 -0
Hello, my karma savior.
How 'bout a little Rock Band/laundry/World Series/drugs and alcohol tonight?
Hello, my karma savior.
How 'bout a little Rock Band/laundry/World Series/drugs and alcohol tonight?
mattylite
+0 -0
Four of my favorite things, and one that I am pretty neutral about. Can you guess which?
Four of my favorite things, and one that I am pretty neutral about. Can you guess which?
rowboat
+0 -0
I can.
I can.
sje46
+0 -0
How long does it take to arrive?
How long does it take to arrive?
tbtabby
+0 -0
Dude didn't even need mane.
Dude didn't even need mane.
wonelove
+0 -0
The Volkswagen has hell of powerful headlights
The Volkswagen has hell of powerful headlights
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
they're only Hollywood headlights used for effect.
the fourth wall is crumbly. (not.)
they're only Hollywood headlights used for effect.
the fourth wall is crumbly. (not.)
mercuri0us
+0 -0
If there was ever any doubt that Connie is the manliest character in Achewood, this strip kicks that doubt firmly and swiftly in the ass.
If there was ever any doubt that Connie is the manliest character in Achewood, this strip kicks that doubt firmly and swiftly in the ass.
hamscout
+0 -0
I'll put this at the (current) bottom, so as not to disturb anything...
Any other white men with glasses going to be at the Chicago GOF signing?
I'm trying to decide which day to take a half-day at work...
( Sorry, progress! Sorry, career! )
I'll put this at the (current) bottom, so as not to disturb anything...
Any other white men with glasses going to be at the Chicago GOF signing?
I'm trying to decide which day to take a half-day at work...
( Sorry, progress! Sorry, career! )
pogo
+0 -0
Sorry, no can do.
Sorry, no can do.
octafish
+0 -0
Quick question, is the stripper wearing a helmet, or lego man hair?
Quick question, is the stripper wearing a helmet, or lego man hair?
dusty
+0 -0
Lego men always did have the sweetest, 70s news anchor style hair
Lego men always did have the sweetest, 70s news anchor style hair
kamet
+0 -0
I just totally booked a flight to Austin.
I just totally booked a flight to Austin.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
...and boy are your arms tired!
...and boy are your arms tired!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i don't know why you're going to see tekende, but tell him i say hi.
wait, i can just do that here.
hello, tekende.
i don't know why you're going to see tekende, but tell him i say hi.
wait, i can just do that here.
hello, tekende.
tekende
+0 -0
If one were going to see me, they would not go to Austin.
Hello, cpnglxynchos.
If one were going to see me, they would not go to Austin.
Hello, cpnglxynchos.
kamet
+0 -0
I am not going to see tekende.. he's in Okie-Homie, I believe.
I am not going to see tekende.. he's in Okie-Homie, I believe.
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, I have to live with the horrifying knowledge that hedonismbot lives somewhere very close to me.
Yes, I have to live with the horrifying knowledge that hedonismbot lives somewhere very close to me.
kamet
+0 -0
It's the little things that make you truly realize, and appreciate your life.
It's the little things that make you truly realize, and appreciate your life.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Closer than you realize. And wash your hands after you make potty
Closer than you realize. And wash your hands after you make potty
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i have failed in a way so epic only lolcats can understand my pain.
take it away, Genghis!
i have failed in a way so epic only lolcats can understand my pain.
take it away, Genghis!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
THURSDAY AFTERNOON IS SLIPPING AWAY ONSTAD CHOP CHOP
THURSDAY AFTERNOON IS SLIPPING AWAY ONSTAD CHOP CHOP
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WTF ONSTAD HURRY UP.
WTF ONSTAD HURRY UP.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh I guess you had Avater-Commant Signergy, nice-on-water.
Oh I guess you had Avater-Commant Signergy, nice-on-water.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I try and yell as much as possible so that people pick up on that. I don't have a huge crying eagle that speaks (softly) for itself.
I try and yell as much as possible so that people pick up on that. I don't have a huge crying eagle that speaks (softly) for itself.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
my avicon can never do what many others can.
but it could, for pennies a day.
please help.
my avicon can never do what many others can.
but it could, for pennies a day.
please help.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Where's the toll-free number? PS you can morosely comment on life. That would work.
Where's the toll-free number? PS you can morosely comment on life. That would work.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
awww, some animal died...
awww, some animal died...
mawk
+0 -0
Connie is decently ripped under that what I assume to be tweed jacket. this entire situation is kind of screaming "Pierce Brosnan as James Bond" to me.
Connie is decently ripped under that what I assume to be tweed jacket. this entire situation is kind of screaming "Pierce Brosnan as James Bond" to me.
mawk
+0 -0
of course he screams of some era of James Bond four times out of ten anyway
usually Connery or Brosnan, though
of course he screams of some era of James Bond four times out of ten anyway
usually Connery or Brosnan, though
mawk
+0 -0
cold classic Connie
cold classic Connie
octafish
+0 -0
James Bond? Who was he?
Stop it, stop it. I don't like it.
James Bond? Who was he?
Stop it, stop it. I don't like it.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
those are some powerful-assed headlights...
those are some powerful-assed headlights...
A private soapbox car stable? Cornelius is so old school.
Isn't it unclear weather the stable belongs to Cornelius or the stripper? Maybe they just have a lot of common interests.
Or maybe it belongs to neither of them, and they are just being youthful and adventurous.
Things don't need to "belong" to Cornelius.
A comment left by hamscout was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jaredwilde, rascaldom, LordPretzel, rachel, Afkpuz, Boyd, HollyBones, AveDestron, Frankreich)
May they rest in peace.
I'm Matt Dudevoir, and I approve of this message.
Poor Vaudeville Guys.
Speaking of adventure, there is nothing like going to a pancake outlet in the ungodly hours of the morning.
Many times I have gone with friends to IHOP at four AM.
When the roads are clear, the pancakes are good, and the only waitress there was a stripper thirty years ago.
IHOP: Where strippers go when they run out of sweet syrup.
Great avatar to go with that comment or greatest?
I could watch it all day. She says IHOP when she grabs her boobs.
you are so right
the cabrio is clearly hers; it was parked at her workplace and she was driving it (assuming left-hand drive; cornelius might very well own a right-hand drive car, but i doubt he'd drive a vw)
cornelius is driving the soapbox car, so i'd assume it's his.
when did we all decide Cornelius was actually from England? I always just pictured him an educated American who adopted certain English affectations and mannerisms?
I mean, it isn't impossible that he's supposed to be a Brit, I just don't remember that being said in the comic.
So I guess this is the post where I realize I'm thinking of Achewood in canon and non-canon terms, and I leave the room quietly sobbing.
A comment left by tucky was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, Vee, mediumrare)
A publican's a tavernkeeper, my friend...and a very British name for it as well.
Vote for beer.
Is that some new Apple product?
Yes and when you finish it you have to send it back to the brewery to have it refilled.
It also has a built in gps app that calculates your blood alcohol level and whereabouts and uploads it to the central police computer. (There is a man I know in Pahrump who will bypass the function for generic tequilla
To be fair, the Alcoholics are probably the most well-represented political party in all of Europe. You wouldn't know it from the elections however, as they are generally too sloshed to vote.
pub=public house. only natural that the dude who runs it is called a publican.
oh god oh god this was a joke right you guys? r-right?
such a chame/lubby scenario is unfolding here
if he's not british then i'm a fried tomato.
Im a button!
Im Phillipe running into a wall
I'm a machine gun wreathed in Christmas lights that I took a photo of in New York City.
I'm rain falling on the roof of the bus stop at Central Station.
I'm Salma Hayek grabbing her titties in a Kevin Smith movie about Catholicism.
I'm me!
I'm something that nobody will ever figure out what exactly I am!
WE ARE THE DEAD.
Thank, goodwillgirl, for your generous contribution to the No More Christian Bale Avatars On Assetbar Foundation. It is much appreciated.
It's just The Mechanic Christian Bale that gets folks all cringy.
(The Machinist.)
I'm me, too!
So am I!
I'm not Davis. I'm Patrick Bateman!
I'm a steampunk watch!
I'm
moistmouse!Are you retarded? I'm the goddamn Batman.
I'm super decked out Philippe!
I am Roast Beef falling through the firmament, passing a giant chalkboard which checks off how womanly I am!
I'm an obscure reference to a dramatic scene in a film based on a book. Boo.
i'm a little autistic boy wearing his therapist's shoes
I'm a happy bunny rabbit chasing a butterfly through a meadow on the first day of Spring, as viewed from a hundred light years away across the cold emptiness of space.
You mean boy with autism?
that is what i meant, thank you for correcting me
It's the non-autistic boys with autism, and the autistic boys without autism that you've got to watch out for.
Boo Radley?
radley
I'm Jack Lord. But only in my spare crime...I mean, time .
HEY KID
IMA COMPUTER
stop all the downloadin
gooood soooooong
I'm hedonismbot
i am the future of the future
I'm Kitten! Yay!
I'm a cartoon character that once ran for president.
I'm a military building in Barcelona with the words "EVERYTHING FOR THE FATHERLAND" written in spanish in the coolest font ever.
Several times* ?
I am a brain alive in a jar due to science. I was originally featured in The Parking Lot Is Full. Truely one of the great webcomics of our time.
While not the original intent I do enjoy how it conveys the nature of the Internet. After all, is that not essentially what I am to you? A disembodied brain that exists solely within in the machine?
Oh, drat! I'm actually a menacing cyborg with spider legs and a cat's head in a jar.
It's my backup avatar for when a site requires squares and my regular one, being rectangular, will not work.
Actually, that is square so I think I shall change.
Ah, that is much better.
DAMN YOU ASSETBAR! UPDATE!
havin a little conversation with yourself there, buddy?
More or less and with my avatar changing halfway through so it looks sort of odd now. A shame that the avatar is not fixed to the time the comment is made.
I recently bought the re-printed and fantastic PLIF collections. YOU SIR have fantastic taste.
Thank you. I think it also went away back in 2000 or 2001 or so which makes me doubt that some of those newer to webcomics know much about it.
Let us also mention the absolutely amazing and sadly defunct Brunching Shuttlecocks. I somehow found it during the first month or so. One of their columns made me think that the Thirteenth Floor sounded a hell of a lot better and more interesting than some stupid little Keanu Reeves project called the Matrix. I mean, how dumb does that sound?
I am a cat yelling at a chicken to kill it humanely.
I am the only one who knows about the Commie Conspiracy.
It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works. I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love...Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I-I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.
I am a screen capture of an arbitrarily selected portion of what happened to be up on my other monitor when I finally created this account, which includes both the folder containing the screen capture program and an image file that is a previously taken screen capture. I will probably be something else once I'm not at work and have access to my image files.
Also I am from the future and will continue to claim such at least until I catch up to the current strips. And desperately hoping I have guessed correctly at both asset nesting and bbcode use, but I refuse to consult any sort of reference material before my success or failure is decided.
I'm a crazy teenager assassinating a cabinet member in the sixties.
I'm like the Japanese Bill Ayers
I'm Spartacus!
I am that I am.
also... I'm strong to the finnach
'Cause I eats my spinnach
I'm love Kate!
I'm a painting by Olivia of a woman wearing only boots, surrounded by cats. She called me "Puss in Boots". I'M A PUN!
holy moley, did I start ALL THIS ?
(also, I am a zombie taking a nap.)
stop lying to yourself, you know you're a crab
I'm the disembodied head of Dr. Gregory House pulsing back and forth on a flashing background, subtitled "IT'S NEVER LUPUS" as a reference to a series running gag that is no longer relevant.
I want to know who so I can Wikipedia him and then get lost in Wikipedia like Teodor researching the Commodore.
just wiki anything and you'll get there in about forty clicks.
Nonono I need to know. Then I branch out from there. You see?
I've seen that picture before, falsey. What's the story? Did the kid just go all John Hinckley, Jr. on the guy or was he just a true-ass ninja plyin' his true-ass trade?
Inform.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inejiro_Asanuma
Political reasons, the kid killed himself after.
So true-ass ninja, then. God, that is true- ass! I'm not real big on murder and shit, but what style!
I knew John Hinckley when we were kids.
LIES
Remember all caps when you spell the man's name
I'm ani-padni-om
I think he's from Pennsylvania. There was something in the paid content about him being contacted by someone from his hometown, I think. I don't know how to search for it except manually, and there's really no time.
No time! There's never any time!
I seem to remember Onstad at one point referring to Cornelius as an Anglophile. That would imply to me that wherever he's from, it isn't England.
In short, oozienelson is a fried tomato.
toh-MAH-toh
you say tomater, I zader matermorts
Marklar?
Marklar agree. Wait, was marklar the marklar for marklars as well or only marklars?
The simplest language, spoken by ugliest of aliens.
I'm picking the Northern states of the US, or upper-crust Pennsylvania, but he's so old that he may as well sound English in comparison to how modern American accents of the region sound. I'm thinking Katharine Hepburn-style.
This, combined with rampant Anglophilia.
He probably even owns a Ford Anglophilia.
He has Anglophilia, but as long as he uses a condom it is pretty safe for him to have sex without passing it on.
pretty safe.
I wouldn't take those odds
I would, for Cornelius.
Damn but that is depressing because most American high school kids actually think that. At least that's what Law and Order SVU would have be believe.
If there are any kids in this very forum who believe that condoms are anything less than 95% effective, then I have news for you: you are wrong .
They've always worked for me, and I've "done it" more than 200 times!!
And? How many times have you passed on your anglophilia?
I wrote in haste, and phrased that poorly. Now I look stupid.
Quote:
Considering you're 30, that's probably not something to brag about, but if you're not married, I suppose it's not bad. My first marriage, I was 21 and she was 19. It was a non-stop bone-fest, and one day I estimated we had passed the 1,000 mark. I was about 23.
I haven't actually counted, pogo. But it is over 200.
But as far as 1,000 times in a day, well, I guess they just don't make men like they used to. That is raw. Literally.
You mean two years?
And, easily 4 of those 5% failures are the result of using the condom wrong . Usually because the condom was put on incorrectly in the first place, secondarily because it was used improperly, i.e., no lubrication when needed, condom dries out during use, or was too old or had been carried around in a wallet too long. Note boys, keeping a jimmy in your wallet week after week ages it super-fast. If you haven't used it within a month, throw it out !
Really? Shoot. I have two of them in my wallet chilling there for like a year.
[Yes, Assetbar Philippe tries to get laid.]
Yeah it's really bad to leave them in wallets.
I'm nervous because I've had a box in my backpack the past week (I bought them before my gf went on her period this month) and I leave my backpack in my car so idk if they are still good...
And, easily 4 of those 5% failures are the result of using the condom wrong . Usually because the condom was put on incorrectly in the first place, secondarily because it was used improperly, i.e., no lubrication when needed, condom dries out during use, or was too old or had been carried around in a wallet too long. Note boys, keeping a jimmy in your wallet week after week ages it super-fast. If you haven't used it within a month, throw it out !
Even better, use two
Don't carry it in your wallet, sitting on a rubber can tear it. Also don't ever double bag. That almost ensures you will tear both
Can't ever hear "double bag" without thinking of the very end of this commercial.
A message that bore repeating, clearly.
Using Law and Order: Child Rape Cavalcade as a window into modern American society seems dangerous. Then I talk to the kids at my course, who have come out with garbage like that, and I realize that they're probably not that far off...
Neverending chubbies for Child Rape Cavalcade.
Oh shit that sounded seriously wrong.
I am offended
He grew up on Roxx street in Cambridge - now there are any number of Cambridges around the world, but I figured it was England. I mean, there's a Cambridge in my home county in Iowa, but I didn't figure he was from there.
Throw a tarp over me, I forgot about Cambridge, Massachusetts.
IT'S A TARP!!!
There's also a Cambridge in Maryland. Cornelius is probably from Maryland.
Hell, there's a Cambridge in Wisconsin, famous for Rowe Pottery and not much else.
"My family were wealthy émigrés from Newcastle, and brought much of the aristocratic culture of the time with them. When I was born in the 'States, I naturally became a curious blend of both lifestyles."
Oh yeah I just took you all to school in the car of blog
A fraud! There has never been wealthy aristocrats in Newcastle!
Who do you think used to own Byker Grove?
They cannae see, man. They cannae see.
Quote:
They were Japanese Brits?
BB Code, you unforgiving bastard of typography, where did the cool characters go?
I think pogo's browser is turning Japanese.
I really think so.
It's got your picture, and it arguably masturbates to it.
Damn, pogo, bbcode has got your ass on a leash and balancing biscuits on your nose today.
Live to fight another day, already.
I see Chinese characters in pogo's quote, but only little question marks in echidnaboy's original. It's more like BBcode has used its mind powers on pogo to make him see characters that weren't there, then forced him to reply and infect the rest of us.
Glad to be of service.
%u9B69gr%u9
The strip from 09/09/2003 reveals he grew up in Cambridge. I'm willing to bet that's Cambridge in England, not Massachusetts.
You're on.
I had an ex with a Father like that. It was awkward in the extreme. He had a predisposition for Gin above all other reasonable alcohols, and insisted on such things as Yorkshire Pudding instead of bread.
All in all I feel he was a troubled man.
Basically everything he does confirms his status as the main badass in the land
So badass he doesn't even need to steer, regardless of whether their is a steering column in the in the first place.
He's just hold onto the windscreen, freezing wind biting under his fingernails, lady holding onto his manly chesticles with all the confidence that he can protect her, take her away from the life she so hates but once sought for refuge. She knows.
Wait, that is the steering column. My point still stands.
A foggy memory of being in the driver's seat suggests that there is no windscreen: The lines you see as a windscreen are formed by reins that are attached to the axle, and the steering is accomplished by exerting force on either side to pivot the axle on a central attaching bolt.
Private stables aside, old school soapbox views the addition of a steering column as an unnecessary element veering towards the vainglorious. The primary direction is down, power is provided by gravity and speed is a function of efficiencies in wind resistance and contact friction. Your estimation of badass in reference to Cornelius remains valid.
Age does not suffer weakness gladly.
and html is still not allowed.
Cornelius is so old.
Yeah, but he brings the ruckus to the ladies.
yes my guess is that she was more than satisfied with his performance
I know I was.
There isn't a sad thing you can say that isn't made more so by your icon.
Man, I say happy things and my icon makes them sad.
It's almost like it's a burden or something.
Maybe a bird en