cormano
+3 -0
Teodor is saved by the rednecks' chinchilla farm.
Teodor is saved by the rednecks' chinchilla farm.
snuffysmith
+0 -0
aren't we all?
aren't we all?
neonfreon
+0 -0
i don't think it's over sir
i don't think it's over sir
sarsbar
+0 -0
No indeed, it can only get better from here.
No indeed, it can only get better from here.
kestral
+0 -0
Wrong.
Wrong.
puguglypress
+10 -0
The rednecks' dialogue is some of Onstad's laziest work yet.
The rednecks' dialogue is some of Onstad's laziest work yet.
achtung
+1 -0
reluctant chubby
reluctant chubby
edthehead
+12 -0
That's what Teodor has right now.
That's what Teodor has right now.
ryder-p-moses
+1 -0
I'm having trouble separating my dissapointment at how sloppy parts of this strip are from my dissapointment that we've suddenly gone back to light comedy again. I was all in and cheering for our train ride to the Apocalypse, instead Onstad made the stop at Quirky Disneyland
I'm having trouble separating my dissapointment at how sloppy parts of this strip are from my dissapointment that we've suddenly gone back to light comedy again. I was all in and cheering for our train ride to the Apocalypse, instead Onstad made the stop at Quirky Disneyland
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Whetchit and yon, onet' that... It's strangely redundant, and the first thing a dialect or pidgin usually does is get rid of all redundancy.
Regardless, I love screaming out "B'GAW, LURQUILLA!" at minor disappointments.
Whetchit and yon, onet' that... It's strangely redundant, and the first thing a dialect or pidgin usually does is get rid of all redundancy.
Regardless, I love screaming out "B'GAW, LURQUILLA!" at minor disappointments.
wazza
+1 -0
that depends what the dialect is for. If it's to mark out a special in-group, like cockney rhyming slang, it'll include lots of redundancy, but only the in-group knows what to put in to make it authentic.
that depends what the dialect is for. If it's to mark out a special in-group, like cockney rhyming slang, it'll include lots of redundancy, but only the in-group knows what to put in to make it authentic.
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
'Cause Lurqilla and Mayner are definitely part of the in-crowd.
'Cause Lurqilla and Mayner are definitely part of the in-crowd.
thespoof
+0 -0
i can't help but read it in the Smosh "that damn neighbor" voice. and it makes me cringe every time
https://www.smosh.com/videos/damn-neighbor
i can't help but read it in the Smosh "that damn neighbor" voice. and it makes me cringe every time
https://www.smosh.com/videos/damn-neighbor
gournal
+96 -0
I am so glad to get on Achewood and have the first thing I see NOT be Nathan's cat cock.
I am so glad to get on Achewood and have the first thing I see NOT be Nathan's cat cock.
acker
+0 -0
i logged in just to express my solidarity with this post in the form of a chubby, thank you
i logged in just to express my solidarity with this post in the form of a chubby, thank you
autrepoupee
+10 -0
oh brother if images were still on, you'd get such a cat cock!
oh brother if images were still on, you'd get such a cat cock!
thinman
+0 -0
A deliberate one, at that.
A deliberate one, at that.
spazdor
+21 -0
_____________/--\
.............\ -|
\___________\_/
\
|
__/
no hang on guys I can do this
_____________/--\
.............\ -|
\___________\_/
\
|
__/
no hang on guys I can do this
lexsenthur
+10 -0
It's not gonna happen tonight, is it?
Do...is it something about me?
It's not gonna happen tonight, is it?
Do...is it something about me?
spazdor
+1 -0
It is not without an ironic smirk that i give your comment a chubby.
It is not without an ironic smirk that i give your comment a chubby.
lexsenthur
+6 -0
Tony smirked as he asked, as if to say "Of course it isn't me, I just want you to realize you have issues, work them out and FUCK ME ALREADY."
He was a man of many smirks.
Tony smirked as he asked, as if to say "Of course it isn't me, I just want you to realize you have issues, work them out and FUCK ME ALREADY."
He was a man of many smirks.
gothfae
+0 -0
Gary Busey taught me the correct way to ascii out a cock.
8=....'==D ~~ ~~~~~~
Gary Busey Brought the Hand into the equation and thus became my hero.
Gary Busey taught me the correct way to ascii out a cock.
8=....'==D ~~ ~~~~~~
Gary Busey Brought the Hand into the equation and thus became my hero.
stereo
+0 -0
What does Gary Busey have to do with the price of cocks in China?
What does Gary Busey have to do with the price of cocks in China?
gothfae
+1 -0
More than you might suspect.
More than you might suspect.
invidious
+0 -0
https://senorgif.com/2010/03/26/funny-animated-gifs-busey-family-reunion/
https://senorgif.com/2010/03/26/funny-animated-gifs-busey-family-reunion/
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
He pretty much drives the Chinese cock market.
He pretty much drives the Chinese cock market.
catoblepas
+0 -1
Gary Busey drives the Chinese cock market to school in a gothic yellow bus with gargoyles, stained glass, and an wrought iron clock on the front. The horn is a church bell and it's fueled strictly with strong brown liquor.
Gary Busey drives the Chinese cock market to school in a gothic yellow bus with gargoyles, stained glass, and an wrought iron clock on the front. The horn is a church bell and it's fueled strictly with strong brown liquor.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Get the fuck out of Connie's whip.
Get the fuck out of Connie's whip.
crom
+13 -0
You have to appreciate Nathan's thinking, though. If someone drew a Nathan Decision Making Flowchart, it would be like:
Am I about to die a horrible, grisly death? --> Yes. --> Can I get some hot, gay action? --> Um, maybe? --> WHIP IT OUT.
You have to appreciate Nathan's thinking, though. If someone drew a Nathan Decision Making Flowchart, it would be like:
Am I about to die a horrible, grisly death? --> Yes. --> Can I get some hot, gay action? --> Um, maybe? --> WHIP IT OUT.
dusty
+1 -0
I think his flowchart may just be
Can I get some hot, gay action? --> Um, maybe? --> WHIP IT OUT.
I think his flowchart may just be
Can I get some hot, gay action? --> Um, maybe? --> WHIP IT OUT.
belgand
+1 -0
Is that not the flowchart we all live our lives by?
Is that not the flowchart we all live our lives by?
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
Only if you're retardo.
Only if you're retardo.
wazza
+4 -0
maybe cross out the word "gay"
I don't want to limit myself
maybe cross out the word "gay"
I don't want to limit myself
invidious
+1 -0
Can't say I understand bisexuals. I mean, I got rejected enough by ONE gender.
Can't say I understand bisexuals. I mean, I got rejected enough by ONE gender.
neonfreon
+6 -0
Can't say I understand bisexuals. I mean, only girls have vaginas.
Can't say I understand bisexuals. I mean, only girls have vaginas.
snarkalicious
+7 -0
Can't say as I understand non-bisexuals. I mean, everybody has holes.
Can't say as I understand non-bisexuals. I mean, everybody has holes.
spazdor
+0 -0
Can I get some hot, tranny mess? -> Um, maybe? -> ???
Can I get some hot, tranny mess? -> Um, maybe? -> ???
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Can I get some hot, tranny mess...for 6 hundo, Alex?
Can I get some hot, tranny mess...for 6 hundo, Alex?
mockereo
+0 -0
Trebek: No. No you man not.
Trebek: No. No you man not.
zaer
+3 -0
you woman are...Me, John, big tree!
you woman are...Me, John, big tree!
dskim
+1 -0
BTW, I love your avatar. I would love to have one, maybe of Hank drying his crotch with the warm air blower (because he didn't dab.... well I dab).
BTW, I love your avatar. I would love to have one, maybe of Hank drying his crotch with the warm air blower (because he didn't dab.... well I dab).
dusty
+1 -0
Snarkalicious is a hole man.
Snarkalicious is a hole man.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
His avi says differently.
His avi says differently.
belgand
+1 -0
Exactly. Everyone can enjoy a nice ass.
If you're getting an erotic cake for someone and you're not quite sure of their predilections go with the ass cake.
Exactly. Everyone can enjoy a nice ass.
If you're getting an erotic cake for someone and you're not quite sure of their predilections go with the ass cake.
catoblepas
+0 -0
You get a nice discount if you buy the breast cake though. You just need to give your password.
You get a nice discount if you buy the breast cake though. You just need to give your password.
catoblepas
+0 -0
Also there is the danger that some wag will stick a deluxe Snickers in your ass cake, rendering it disgusting.
You do not want people tampering with your ass cake.
Also there is the danger that some wag will stick a deluxe Snickers in your ass cake, rendering it disgusting.
You do not want people tampering with your ass cake.
wazza
+0 -0
is a deluxe snickers like a picnic bar ?
is a deluxe snickers like a picnic bar ?
dusty
+1 -0
A deluxe snickers is two snickers bars pressed together into one.
A deluxe snickers is two snickers bars pressed together into one.
belgand
+0 -0
A Baby Ruth would be the classic version.
A Baby Ruth would be the classic version.
crom
+0 -0
Flip 'em over and they all look the same.
Flip 'em over and they all look the same.
spazdor
+1 -0
I believe Ray has bookmarked some sort of "ass cake" website.
I believe Ray has bookmarked some sort of "ass cake" website.
ratacattt
+0 -0
Ray knows how to use bookmarks?
Ray knows how to use bookmarks?
dusty
+2 -0
*stuck a post-it of the URL on his screen border.
*stuck a post-it of the URL on his screen border.
catoblepas
+0 -0
The screen all smudged from where he tries to stick the post-it to the address bar in his browser.
(It is also scratched from all the times he's tried to grab at icons that he likes)
The screen all smudged from where he tries to stick the post-it to the address bar in his browser.
(It is also scratched from all the times he's tried to grab at icons that he likes)
spazdor
+0 -0
pinned to his wall like a trophy is the one "icon" he's ever managed to peel off his monitor: the Energy Saver decal sticker
pinned to his wall like a trophy is the one "icon" he's ever managed to peel off his monitor: the Energy Saver decal sticker
mockereo
+0 -0
whoa now, he's just tech-illiterate, not full retard.
whoa now, he's just tech-illiterate, not full retard.
mockereo
+0 -0
never go full retard.
never go full retard.
dissembly
+1 -0
For a cat, this is quite healthy. My kitten dreams of one day walking proudly through the house with my mouse cursor flickering in his jaws.
For a cat, this is quite healthy. My kitten dreams of one day walking proudly through the house with my mouse cursor flickering in his jaws.
catoblepas
+0 -0
Bleeding pixels like sand from an hourglass "waiting" cursor.
Bleeding pixels like sand from an hourglass "waiting" cursor.
ganymedeio
+1 -0
That's two steps more than my usual qualifications merit.
That's two steps more than my usual qualifications merit.
hatstand_mcq
+4 -0
I'm starting to get a feeling that if we had an accurate map of the Achewood underground, and we put pins in it for the locations of places where we've seen cat cock, some sort of sinister design would emerge. I don't know why that thought just walked into my head, but there it is.
I'm starting to get a feeling that if we had an accurate map of the Achewood underground, and we put pins in it for the locations of places where we've seen cat cock, some sort of sinister design would emerge. I don't know why that thought just walked into my head, but there it is.
cathaoir
+11 -0
I bet our efforts would just be rewarded with a giant, connect-the-dots cat cock.
I bet our efforts would just be rewarded with a giant, connect-the-dots cat cock.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I bet it would spell out a giant, Manflesh-style fanfic.
I bet it would spell out a giant, Manflesh-style fanfic.
edthehead
+0 -0
So like City of Glass, but with cat cock?
So like City of Glass, but with cat cock?
quazifuji
+7 -0
Yeah, last strip was kind of a dick move on Onstad's part.
Yeah, last strip was kind of a dick move on Onstad's part.
wjon
+5 -0
Wasn't it Teodor doing the dick moving?
Wasn't it Teodor doing the dick moving?
ganymedeio
+0 -0
I want to lame you and chubby you all at once. WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
I want to lame you and chubby you all at once. WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
jimmyk
+1 -0
So sudden and new...
So sudden and new...
dskim
+0 -0
Sure, Loathing's a good song. But I prefer Defiling Cavity.
Sure, Loathing's a good song. But I prefer Defiling Cavity.
dskim
+0 -0
Though we have to wait for confirmation on what's going on in the back of the van.
Though we have to wait for confirmation on what's going on in the back of the van.
thinman
+1 -0
This probably means you're becoming a man/woman.
Any hair growing in places that there wasn't hair before?
This probably means you're becoming a man/woman.
Any hair growing in places that there wasn't hair before?
wazza
+0 -0
Shmide?
Shmide?
ijmtatpoc
+0 -0
Really you want to lame yourself and chubby quazifuji. Wjon was just the conduit of these feelings, and thus you have transferred them to him.
Really you want to lame yourself and chubby quazifuji. Wjon was just the conduit of these feelings, and thus you have transferred them to him.
barthdrooks
+2 -0
I too have had more than my fill of pussy dick.
I too have had more than my fill of pussy dick.
lateadopter
+0 -0
So, gournal, I have to ask. In your avicon, is that a woman licking a cock coming out of a guy's face? Just wondering.
So, gournal, I have to ask. In your avicon, is that a woman licking a cock coming out of a guy's face? Just wondering.
catoblepas
+0 -1
It is actually a bottle filled with dolphins. If you were not such a pervert you would see that. Or, I should say, if we were not such perverts.
It is actually a bottle filled with dolphins. If you were not such a pervert you would see that. Or, I should say, if we were not such perverts.
gournal
+0 -0
It's actually Paul Rudd's tongue, not his cock. Make-outs do not get more passionate than in Wet Hot American Summer(which somehow is not a porno).
It's actually Paul Rudd's tongue, not his cock. Make-outs do not get more passionate than in Wet Hot American Summer(which somehow is not a porno).
gournal
+0 -0
Well, there is one dude on dude sex scene, but it doesn't show anything too graphic, plus one of the dudes is Michael Showalter so...
Well, there is one dude on dude sex scene, but it doesn't show anything too graphic, plus one of the dudes is Michael Showalter so...
belgand
+0 -0
What about the man-on-fridge scene? That got pretty graphic... not enough, but it was close.
What about the man-on-fridge scene? That got pretty graphic... not enough, but it was close.
sarsbar
+0 -0
Aren't we all.
Aren't we all.
catoblepas
+0 -0
You know, maybe the backlash wouldn't have been so bad if Onstad had held back the cat-cock comic for a week or two so he could post the next one the following day.
Then again I think maybe he's less interested in pleasing us than in writing what he wants to write. If he has readers, then he has readers. Better to lose some of the chaff than compromise your artistic vision.
The artistic vision of a bear terror-fellating an aged, bloody cat in the back of a moving Nice Murdervan.
You know, maybe the backlash wouldn't have been so bad if Onstad had held back the cat-cock comic for a week or two so he could post the next one the following day.
Then again I think maybe he's less interested in pleasing us than in writing what he wants to write. If he has readers, then he has readers. Better to lose some of the chaff than compromise your artistic vision.
The artistic vision of a bear terror-fellating an aged, bloody cat in the back of a moving Nice Murdervan.
thinman
+0 -0
'Nice Murdervan' would be a boss name for a pretentious-metal band.
'Nice Murdervan' would be a boss name for a pretentious-metal band.
spazdor
+1 -0
I could see Nathan Explosion saying this to one of his bandmates who had brought home a totally brutal metaled-out Econoline.
I could see Nathan Explosion saying this to one of his bandmates who had brought home a totally brutal metaled-out Econoline.
robbie17m
+5 -0
I love how, with one act of arsen, Nice Pete mindset instantly goes from that of a serial killer to that of a proud mentor.
I love how, with one act of arsen, Nice Pete mindset instantly goes from that of a serial killer to that of a proud mentor.
omegatron
+1 -0
"arson"
"arson"
dissembly
+87 -0
Yes, the acts of "arsen" are possibly happening in the rear of that there van.
Yes, the acts of "arsen" are possibly happening in the rear of that there van.
rocketbunny
+6 -0
Chubbied. Chubbied right in the arsen.
Chubbied. Chubbied right in the arsen.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
To all those that "get it", this woman right here is trying to retroactively involve in the Handface Weekend .
To all those that "get it", this woman right here is trying to retroactively involve in the Handface Weekend .
kindergard
+0 -0
i...i don't get it
i...i don't get it
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Actually, just thinking about who might get it that still actively comments on here. Probably no one that's willing to admit it... my voice... she is lost in the void...
Actually, just thinking about who might get it that still actively comments on here. Probably no one that's willing to admit it... my voice... she is lost in the void...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Damn kids and their rock music
Damn kids and their rock music
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Get off my law - damn - ahhh... get off my shared, grassed communal space at the back of the block of my apartment! You kids!
Get off my law - damn - ahhh... get off my shared, grassed communal space at the back of the block of my apartment! You kids!
direbmem
+0 -0
I get it. I wasn't part of it, and created this account long after it, but I get it.
I get it. I wasn't part of it, and created this account long after it, but I get it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Achescholar. That's what you are... Here's a Certificate.
Achescholar. That's what you are... Here's a Certificate.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
I still have my kitty h-face photo. Cheer up 'teeth!
I still have my kitty h-face photo. Cheer up 'teeth!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
HAH! I didn't realise kitty was handfacing. Oh, the sweet memories. They do flood back.
HAH! I didn't realise kitty was handfacing. Oh, the sweet memories. They do flood back.
stereo
+0 -0
I created my account as a result of it! And then because of the limits on new accounts, was unable to participate anyway.
I created my account as a result of it! And then because of the limits on new accounts, was unable to participate anyway.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Lucky AIU was here to right that wrong.
Lucky AIU was here to right that wrong.
glade8tormel
+2 -0
Acts of arsen are happening in the rear of that there bear...
Acts of arsen are happening in the rear of that there bear...
wonelove
+1 -0
I like you.
I like you very much.
I like you.
I like you very much.
wazza
+2 -0
enough to allow him to commit arsen on you?
enough to allow him to commit arsen on you?
wonelove
+1 -0
... perhaps...
... perhaps...
snuffysmith
+0 -0
this plot turn... it's like... onstad actually had some of this arc planned out
this plot turn... it's like... onstad actually had some of this arc planned out
belgand
+0 -0
Almost. It still doesn't remove the possibility that these were unrelated events that he decided to mash together to get a conclusion.
Onstad seems to enjoy setting up a scenario, becoming enamored with it and then dwelling on it for as long as he can, then he might pull back something else from earlier in and try to make it related. It's really very stream-of-consciousness most of the time. The trick to doing it well is to learn how to connect the unrelated dots.
Almost. It still doesn't remove the possibility that these were unrelated events that he decided to mash together to get a conclusion.
Onstad seems to enjoy setting up a scenario, becoming enamored with it and then dwelling on it for as long as he can, then he might pull back something else from earlier in and try to make it related. It's really very stream-of-consciousness most of the time. The trick to doing it well is to learn how to connect the unrelated dots.
dougthehead
+1 -0
He had to get back to the Flannery O'Connor couple eventually. You don't create an idea as hilarious as an illegal chinchilla mill run by Kmart people and just stick it in the story with no follow-through.
He had to get back to the Flannery O'Connor couple eventually. You don't create an idea as hilarious as an illegal chinchilla mill run by Kmart people and just stick it in the story with no follow-through.
catoblepas
+1 -0
Next they hit a Fiesta Max where they pick up Darin' Aaron Magoo.
The dares continue late into the following morning, escalating until Teodor is blowing Nathan while riding a bicycle upon two skateboards atop the Nice Van, while Nice Pete veers side to side trying to dislodge them with low hanging traffic lights.
Next they hit a Fiesta Max where they pick up Darin' Aaron Magoo.
The dares continue late into the following morning, escalating until Teodor is blowing Nathan while riding a bicycle upon two skateboards atop the Nice Van, while Nice Pete veers side to side trying to dislodge them with low hanging traffic lights.
missbee
+0 -0
from the mindset of a serial killer to that of a proud mentor SERIAL KILLER.
from the mindset of a serial killer to that of a proud mentor SERIAL KILLER.
xenoterranos
+0 -0
Freud would be proud of that word. It even sounds German.
Freud would be proud of that word. It even sounds German.
dybrar
+0 -0
In German, "Arsen" (pronounced ar-SAYN) actually means "arsenic".
Not that I picture Nice Pete to be much of an arsenic sort of person. He is more a straight-up hands-on kind of murderer.
In German, "Arsen" (pronounced ar-SAYN) actually means "arsenic".
Not that I picture Nice Pete to be much of an arsenic sort of person. He is more a straight-up hands-on kind of murderer.
wazza
+5 -0
I think he would be into giving someone arsenic in their food every day, smiling and gazing into their eyes every morning as they chew and swallow their good country potatoes and eggs, watching as they are slowly sapped of their vitality, hearing them as they run to the bathroom, where they may vomit in privacy, wondering why this is happening to them until their mind can no longer function, their eyes are fading, and as they swallow the last dose in a cup of nourishing broth held by their old friend Pete, he whispers the truth to them, a warm glow filling him up inside as he sees the understanding in their eyes.
I think he would be into giving someone arsenic in their food every day, smiling and gazing into their eyes every morning as they chew and swallow their good country potatoes and eggs, watching as they are slowly sapped of their vitality, hearing them as they run to the bathroom, where they may vomit in privacy, wondering why this is happening to them until their mind can no longer function, their eyes are fading, and as they swallow the last dose in a cup of nourishing broth held by their old friend Pete, he whispers the truth to them, a warm glow filling him up inside as he sees the understanding in their eyes.
ratacattt
+0 -0
wasn't there some story in the blogs or something about him feeding guard dogs some poisoned pork rinds or something.
wasn't there some story in the blogs or something about him feeding guard dogs some poisoned pork rinds or something.
rocketbunny
+0 -0
There was actually a group of people in Austria, largely miners, who eat arsenic trioxide spread on bread with butter as a health tonic. I could actually see Nice Pete consuming this folk remedy himself (on a base of good country potatoes simply dressed with mock vinegar and corn oil) as a prevention for many afflictions.
There was actually a group of people in Austria, largely miners, who eat arsenic trioxide spread on bread with butter as a health tonic. I could actually see Nice Pete consuming this folk remedy himself (on a base of good country potatoes simply dressed with mock vinegar and corn oil) as a prevention for many afflictions.
invidious
+0 -0
Is good for preventing that disease which makes your head ten percent smaller each year.
Is good for preventing that disease which makes your head ten percent smaller each year.
rocketbunny
+0 -0
Arsenic Trioxide is one of the ground chemicals that do not require you to die, also.
Arsenic Trioxide is one of the ground chemicals that do not require you to die, also.
shishkabob
+0 -0
good end?
good end?
carlyle
+0 -0
I imagine it'll end in the next comic. Nice Pete will drop Teodor off and leave him with some words of wisdom and encouragement to continue on down his path, but maybe clean it up a bit, and drive off into the night. Somehow, he will not go away for any amount of prison time even if T reports him, because this is Acehwood.
I imagine it'll end in the next comic. Nice Pete will drop Teodor off and leave him with some words of wisdom and encouragement to continue on down his path, but maybe clean it up a bit, and drive off into the night. Somehow, he will not go away for any amount of prison time even if T reports him, because this is Acehwood.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
I've been wondering about something. You know when you have to share public transport with a lunatic? If one were to try to out mad them, by means of hand gestures, and sobbing, and wild claims about the Masons, would they back off, or would they be glad to have found a kindred spirit? Do crazy people like each other's company, or would you run the risk of antagonising the person in question? Because a couple of weeks ago I had to spend a ten minute tube ride pretending to read a book as a distressed indigent muttered to himself about 'thread thieves' and it was pretty awkward.
I've been wondering about something. You know when you have to share public transport with a lunatic? If one were to try to out mad them, by means of hand gestures, and sobbing, and wild claims about the Masons, would they back off, or would they be glad to have found a kindred spirit? Do crazy people like each other's company, or would you run the risk of antagonising the person in question? Because a couple of weeks ago I had to spend a ten minute tube ride pretending to read a book as a distressed indigent muttered to himself about 'thread thieves' and it was pretty awkward.
verplanck
+0 -0
careful about trying to out-crazy the crazy. unless you've truly gone down the rabbit hole, you have no idea how to drive the train of lunacy.
careful about trying to out-crazy the crazy. unless you've truly gone down the rabbit hole, you have no idea how to drive the train of lunacy.
morbo
+0 -0
interacting with insanity is easier than wiping your ass
ive gotten quite good at directing the flow of a conversation with long fried crackheads
interacting with insanity is easier than wiping your ass
ive gotten quite good at directing the flow of a conversation with long fried crackheads
lizard
+2 -0
I once attended a Spike Milligan live show with some inmates from the local asylum out for the night -long story. They were very, very bored with a show I found astonishing insane.
I once attended a Spike Milligan live show with some inmates from the local asylum out for the night -long story. They were very, very bored with a show I found astonishing insane.
glade8tormel
+3 -0
years ago, when i was a bartender at a downtown spot, and became miffed, yes, positively miffed, at the varied and sundry type that would harass,harangue,and otherwise displeasure my saunter back to my comfortable abode, I purchased, at no great expense,
a thoroughly tattered and disreputable overcoat. this overcoat, combined with a leg dragging and quite audible muttering afforded me a tempest free amble to my abode. plus, people gave me change.
years ago, when i was a bartender at a downtown spot, and became miffed, yes, positively miffed, at the varied and sundry type that would harass,harangue,and otherwise displeasure my saunter back to my comfortable abode, I purchased, at no great expense,
a thoroughly tattered and disreputable overcoat. this overcoat, combined with a leg dragging and quite audible muttering afforded me a tempest free amble to my abode. plus, people gave me change.
dusty
+8 -0
Being a frequent user of public transport myself, I would guess that it would only make things worse, since one way it makes them mad, and the other it makes them your friend, and you do not want either one really. Once at the bus stop there was a guy who, though wearing normal clothing, was circling about, then every 10 seconds or so from about 15 feet away he would charge towards me going "WAUAUG WUAAAAA!" the first time I jumped back thinking he was going to attack me, but he did the same thing several times in a row. If I had participated it would have just become a ram-like duel, which may be what he wanted. Perhaps he had stayed up all night watching wildlife shows and dropping acid, and now felt I was in his territory.
Being a frequent user of public transport myself, I would guess that it would only make things worse, since one way it makes them mad, and the other it makes them your friend, and you do not want either one really. Once at the bus stop there was a guy who, though wearing normal clothing, was circling about, then every 10 seconds or so from about 15 feet away he would charge towards me going "WAUAUG WUAAAAA!" the first time I jumped back thinking he was going to attack me, but he did the same thing several times in a row. If I had participated it would have just become a ram-like duel, which may be what he wanted. Perhaps he had stayed up all night watching wildlife shows and dropping acid, and now felt I was in his territory.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
If you win the duel, though, it is nobody's problem.
If you win the duel, though, it is nobody's problem.
hoarday4
+3 -0
Yea but you should never get in a fight with a retard. They have what one of my friends call "Retard Strength". They're too dumb to feel tired or hurt so they just keep coming until you've completely disabled their body from moving, kind of like zombies.
Yea but you should never get in a fight with a retard. They have what one of my friends call "Retard Strength". They're too dumb to feel tired or hurt so they just keep coming until you've completely disabled their body from moving, kind of like zombies.
dusty
+0 -0
I think what I may have encountered here was actually "PCP strength", but your description fits that better than retardation anyway.
I think what I may have encountered here was actually "PCP strength", but your description fits that better than retardation anyway.
gournal
+14 -0
First off, the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. And they don't run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming, "No, no, no" but all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.
First off, the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. And they don't run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming, "No, no, no" but all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well, who doesn't?
wait what?
Well, who doesn't?
wait what?
audhumla
+1 -0
does.. does darren go to flatpoint high?
does.. does darren go to flatpoint high?
hoarday4
+0 -0
Exactly. This is a dude who knows exactly what I'm tlaking about.
Exactly. This is a dude who knows exactly what I'm tlaking about.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Ah, I miss that show
Ah, I miss that show
thinman
+0 -0
You absolutely can't fight "Retarded Fury."
You just can't. Don't try.
You absolutely can't fight "Retarded Fury."
You just can't. Don't try.
thespoof
+0 -0
i am waiting for your clone pikachu to win that duel
i am waiting for your clone pikachu to win that duel
ryder-p-moses
+2 -0
You know those awkward family get-togethers where some recent college grad gets drunk and starts a heated political argument with someone's fat redneck uncle about the flat tax? Now just picture that but about the role Satan plays in the Jew conspiracy to replace hard currency with universal mandatory credit lines.
You know those awkward family get-togethers where some recent college grad gets drunk and starts a heated political argument with someone's fat redneck uncle about the flat tax? Now just picture that but about the role Satan plays in the Jew conspiracy to replace hard currency with universal mandatory credit lines.
catoblepas
+8 -0
I am delighted by your moo-frog nonsense and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I am delighted by your moo-frog nonsense and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
teezee
+23 -0
One time back in life I ran into a particularly crazy bus person. At the stop he flailed at cars, yelled at the top of his lungs (perhaps to whatever arcane god this appeals to?) and otherwise wailed nonstop about some female he cared about who was definitely *not* a whore. After much hullabaloo I was given reprieve from this bizarre mixture of compassion and trepidation he was making me feel when he did not get on the bus.
Three stops later, the man got on. I spent the next 15 minutes immune to his waxing and waning raving and clear upset because I was completely confounded as to how he beat the bus to three stops down a street to get on. At the time I could only conclude that my business with him was not yet done. Out of the blue I thought that what he needed was comfort instead of everyone pretending fiercely as if he did not exist. It is completely out of character for me to hug anything, but I felt compelled to hug this clearly deranged and dangerous individual and to wish him a nice day.
Because it was such a strange concept for me I spent the next 10 minutes in internal debate as to why this idea would even occur to me. I stood up as my stop was nigh and I continued the internal debate. As my stop came up I suddenly became aware that he was right in front of me, within elbowing range. I suppose this is a mark of how caught up in my obsessions and oblivious to my surroundings I can become. Anyway, the crazy man does the craziest thing imaginable:
He hugs me. He tells me to have a nice day. He goes and sits down and I exit the bus.
To this day I remain convinced that you cannot out-crazy someone who is insane, they will anticipate and beat you to the punch. Also, maybe this was a religious experience? After seeing a ten inch cat cock (at least a large portion thereof) I am now convinced that the former is a more likely candidate than the latter.
One time back in life I ran into a particularly crazy bus person. At the stop he flailed at cars, yelled at the top of his lungs (perhaps to whatever arcane god this appeals to?) and otherwise wailed nonstop about some female he cared about who was definitely *not* a whore. After much hullabaloo I was given reprieve from this bizarre mixture of compassion and trepidation he was making me feel when he did not get on the bus.
Three stops later, the man got on. I spent the next 15 minutes immune to his waxing and waning raving and clear upset because I was completely confounded as to how he beat the bus to three stops down a street to get on. At the time I could only conclude that my business with him was not yet done. Out of the blue I thought that what he needed was comfort instead of everyone pretending fiercely as if he did not exist. It is completely out of character for me to hug anything, but I felt compelled to hug this clearly deranged and dangerous individual and to wish him a nice day.
Because it was such a strange concept for me I spent the next 10 minutes in internal debate as to why this idea would even occur to me. I stood up as my stop was nigh and I continued the internal debate. As my stop came up I suddenly became aware that he was right in front of me, within elbowing range. I suppose this is a mark of how caught up in my obsessions and oblivious to my surroundings I can become. Anyway, the crazy man does the craziest thing imaginable:
He hugs me. He tells me to have a nice day. He goes and sits down and I exit the bus.
To this day I remain convinced that you cannot out-crazy someone who is insane, they will anticipate and beat you to the punch. Also, maybe this was a religious experience? After seeing a ten inch cat cock (at least a large portion thereof) I am now convinced that the former is a more likely candidate than the latter.
ratacattt
+4 -0
Jesus pulls that shit all the damn time. He thinks it's some sort of performance art.
Jesus pulls that shit all the damn time. He thinks it's some sort of performance art.
extortshorties
+0 -0
That was a really great story.
No sarcasm- I really liked it.
That was a really great story.
No sarcasm- I really liked it.
dusty
+0 -0
yes, it really was.
yes, it really was.
catoblepas
+0 -0
This was a pretty awesome story. Maybe he was a superhero whose power was to hear people's thoughts - all the time . I know I'd go insane.
This was a pretty awesome story. Maybe he was a superhero whose power was to hear people's thoughts - all the time . I know I'd go insane.
ratacattt
+1 -0
that would rock then you could know which girls want to fuck you
that would rock then you could know which girls want to fuck you
wazza
+0 -0
you would also know which girls want to be one of the two girls who shared one cup
you would also know which girls want to be one of the two girls who shared one cup
mangtastic
+0 -0
The answer is none of them, because you'd be the crazy weirdo hearing everyone's thoughts.
The answer is none of them, because you'd be the crazy weirdo hearing everyone's thoughts.
belgand
+0 -0
I already know: none of them.
I already know: none of them.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
THIS SILENCE IS UNBEARABLE.
THIS SILENCE IS UNBEARABLE.
catoblepas
+1 -0
Actually being able to read anyone's thoughts mean you would read your own thoughts. That would add a new thought to your head. Recursively you would instantly just die from over-thinking. Head all exploding like a trash bag full of marinara sauce dropped from a skyscraper.
Actually being able to read anyone's thoughts mean you would read your own thoughts. That would add a new thought to your head. Recursively you would instantly just die from over-thinking. Head all exploding like a trash bag full of marinara sauce dropped from a skyscraper.
carlyle
+0 -0
No, wait, shit, didn't mean to chubby that. Sorry.
Also, where the hell are you gettin' this crazy 'read your own thoughts' idea? How would that be any different than normal?
No, wait, shit, didn't mean to chubby that. Sorry.
Also, where the hell are you gettin' this crazy 'read your own thoughts' idea? How would that be any different than normal?
breadcrab
+0 -0
I spent three months homeless when I was living in northern California a few years ago. Primarily, I spent my time playing video games on my expensive (at the time; it's now merely adequate) gaming rig on stolen power, sleeping in an abandoned car, drinking coffee (so that the Starbucks wouldn't kick me out), showering at a nearby truck stop, and doing enough day labor/collecting enough cans to keep the coffee money rolling in.
One morning, about 4:30 or so, I was playing Oblivion on my computer on the back steps of a local library. A man who looked suspiciously (in retrospect) like the dude from Ace of Cakes came up to me, asking me questions. We talked for a bit; it is incredibly liberating to be a crazy street-person, especially if you're a heavily armed, high-tech street person. Long story short, he was convinced that I was a Zhell, a type of human-like being bred by the insurance company that took his on away and used as communications devices only to taunt him. By the middle of the conversation I was afraid for my life. by the end of the conversation I had knocked him cold, packed up my gear, and marched on to a new hiding place.
My point is, don't try to out-crazy homeless people. You end up playing into their delusions and next thing you know it's club or be clubbed.
I spent three months homeless when I was living in northern California a few years ago. Primarily, I spent my time playing video games on my expensive (at the time; it's now merely adequate) gaming rig on stolen power, sleeping in an abandoned car, drinking coffee (so that the Starbucks wouldn't kick me out), showering at a nearby truck stop, and doing enough day labor/collecting enough cans to keep the coffee money rolling in.
One morning, about 4:30 or so, I was playing Oblivion on my computer on the back steps of a local library. A man who looked suspiciously (in retrospect) like the dude from Ace of Cakes came up to me, asking me questions. We talked for a bit; it is incredibly liberating to be a crazy street-person, especially if you're a heavily armed, high-tech street person. Long story short, he was convinced that I was a Zhell, a type of human-like being bred by the insurance company that took his on away and used as communications devices only to taunt him. By the middle of the conversation I was afraid for my life. by the end of the conversation I had knocked him cold, packed up my gear, and marched on to a new hiding place.
My point is, don't try to out-crazy homeless people. You end up playing into their delusions and next thing you know it's club or be clubbed.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Zhell? Is it safe? Is it safe?
Zhell? Is it safe? Is it safe?
catoblepas
+0 -0
If you did not put him into your van then you were not the winner.
If you did not put him into your van then you were not the winner.
extortshorties
+17 -0
Okay, so something really amazing happened to me a couple days ago, and I wanted to post it on here because it kind of relates to your story (that I was totally touched by) but I wasn't sure if people would be into it or not. I rarely post on here, so I'm not exactly, you know... an established personality whose personal anecdotes you might find interesting. You might just be like, "who are you and why do you think we are interested in your life."
But I'm gonna tell the story anyway.
This Tuesday I had a really crummy day that left me feeling stressed and grouchy. Depressed and wallowing in self-pity, I decided that I really fucking needed a slice of cake. After a huge internal battle, as I am both supposed to be eating better and low on cash, I drive to the nearest grocery store (Raley's) and head over to the bakery.
I see this beautiful slice of chocolate cake. The lady behind the counter says, "Would you like another? It's buy one get one free."
I said, "Fuck yes," got two slices of chocolate cake and sat in my car to stuff my face, listen to Lady Gaga and feel sorry for myself. Like a champ.
I eat the first slice of cake and realize that I'm actually quite full now, and feeling much better. "I could definitely eat this second slice," I thought to myself, sizing it up, "but I really don't NEED to." So I close the box up and start the car.
Across the shopping center parking lot, I see this middle-aged homeless man with an enormous backpack, shuffling along by himself. I immediately understand what I'm supposed to do.
So I start the car, and drive after him. Unfortunately, it's a huge shopping center, and I soon lose him. So I drive around the complex, looking behind every building, checking every alley, totally straight up stalking this homeless guy. After about ten minutes, I finally see him over by the Burger King. Unfortunately, there are no parking spots, and I am now totally late for an appointment... after another 5 minutes or so of trying to find one, I see an opening and cram my car in as fast as I can. By this point, the homeless guy is super far away, I'm late for my appointment, and I'm starting to wonder if this is, in fact, a safe/sane idea. But by this point I am totally committed to the idea of giving away my cake, so I leap out of the car and tear across the parking lot after the guy, yelling, "HEY MISTER! HEY MISTER!"
FINALLY he hears me and stops. I catch up, panting like an idiot.
"Hey, do you want some cake?"
The man's mouth drops open. He stares at me for a few seconds, then asks, "How did you know?"
I laughed. "Well, I mean, everybody likes cake!"
"No, no," he said, shaking his head. " Today is my birthday. "
Completely shocked, I hand him the cake and said, "Well, happy birthday."
The man started crying, carefully holding the cake like it was the most fragile and precious thing in the world and said, "This is the first birthday present I've gotten since I was a little kid."
He then sort of steeled himself, punched the air with his fist and yelled, "Right on, man! RIGHT ON!"
All in all, it was way fucking better than stuffing my face and listening to some more Lady Gaga.
As soon as I got back in the car, I remembered your story about hugging the homeless guy, and thought, "dude, I should totally tell him/her." But Assetbar was broken, so I had to wait two days. But yeah, here ya go!
Okay, so something really amazing happened to me a couple days ago, and I wanted to post it on here because it kind of relates to your story (that I was totally touched by) but I wasn't sure if people would be into it or not. I rarely post on here, so I'm not exactly, you know... an established personality whose personal anecdotes you might find interesting. You might just be like, "who are you and why do you think we are interested in your life."
But I'm gonna tell the story anyway.
This Tuesday I had a really crummy day that left me feeling stressed and grouchy. Depressed and wallowing in self-pity, I decided that I really fucking needed a slice of cake. After a huge internal battle, as I am both supposed to be eating better and low on cash, I drive to the nearest grocery store (Raley's) and head over to the bakery.
I see this beautiful slice of chocolate cake. The lady behind the counter says, "Would you like another? It's buy one get one free."
I said, "Fuck yes," got two slices of chocolate cake and sat in my car to stuff my face, listen to Lady Gaga and feel sorry for myself. Like a champ.
I eat the first slice of cake and realize that I'm actually quite full now, and feeling much better. "I could definitely eat this second slice," I thought to myself, sizing it up, "but I really don't NEED to." So I close the box up and start the car.
Across the shopping center parking lot, I see this middle-aged homeless man with an enormous backpack, shuffling along by himself. I immediately understand what I'm supposed to do.
So I start the car, and drive after him. Unfortunately, it's a huge shopping center, and I soon lose him. So I drive around the complex, looking behind every building, checking every alley, totally straight up stalking this homeless guy. After about ten minutes, I finally see him over by the Burger King. Unfortunately, there are no parking spots, and I am now totally late for an appointment... after another 5 minutes or so of trying to find one, I see an opening and cram my car in as fast as I can. By this point, the homeless guy is super far away, I'm late for my appointment, and I'm starting to wonder if this is, in fact, a safe/sane idea. But by this point I am totally committed to the idea of giving away my cake, so I leap out of the car and tear across the parking lot after the guy, yelling, "HEY MISTER! HEY MISTER!"
FINALLY he hears me and stops. I catch up, panting like an idiot.
"Hey, do you want some cake?"
The man's mouth drops open. He stares at me for a few seconds, then asks, "How did you know?"
I laughed. "Well, I mean, everybody likes cake!"
"No, no," he said, shaking his head. " Today is my birthday. "
Completely shocked, I hand him the cake and said, "Well, happy birthday."
The man started crying, carefully holding the cake like it was the most fragile and precious thing in the world and said, "This is the first birthday present I've gotten since I was a little kid."
He then sort of steeled himself, punched the air with his fist and yelled, "Right on, man! RIGHT ON!"
All in all, it was way fucking better than stuffing my face and listening to some more Lady Gaga.
As soon as I got back in the car, I remembered your story about hugging the homeless guy, and thought, "dude, I should totally tell him/her." But Assetbar was broken, so I had to wait two days. But yeah, here ya go!
lateadopter
+0 -0
Yeah, so who broke AssetBar this time, anyway?
Yeah, so who broke AssetBar this time, anyway?
direbmem
+1 -0
Roast Beef tried to have sex with the website, but Ray walked in on him. Beef slipped, and broke the 'Bar in the process. Adding insult to injury, Ray rescinded his offer of cookies.
It was the Saddest Thing.
Roast Beef tried to have sex with the website, but Ray walked in on him. Beef slipped, and broke the 'Bar in the process. Adding insult to injury, Ray rescinded his offer of cookies.
It was the Saddest Thing.
teezee
+2 -0
This was the first time I ever bothered to mark my feelings on an asset (pro). I don't even know if marking it that means anything (website-wise), which is why I never bother. Your story means so much to me it is hard to describe. I can only give it context with a memory;
One time back in life I was offered some drugs by an authority figure. The drug smelled and tasted like cherries in the way that the twisted minds behind cough syrup imagine cherries to be. The man told me to count backwards from 100 and I only recall getting to 93.
When I awoke I had an IV in each arm as well as one in my jugular. Also they had intubated me. I was immediately frustrated because the light in the room came through a window and was that sort of post-dawn or pre-dusk light, leaving me unsure of what time it was. Disorientation on top of intubation is a veritable failure of existence. I noticed that my mother was in the room and indicated a desire to not be in this situation by flailing my hand limply. My mother was caught up in the allure of this attempt at a communique. Apparently there is nothing more adorable than the helpess pleading for assistance. I knew then that my best strategy for getting aid was to play into this and through miming managed to get a writing tool as well as some paper. After scrawling about my love for my mother I expounded upon what really wieghed on my mind: getting this thing out of my throat and maybe even some water (intubation is to your throat what a flood is not).
My point is that this memory of my first open heart surgery is one of my first memories in life (I was four) and it fostered in me a deep sense of disappointment in humanity. It is difficult to have a need and not be taken seriously. Obviously it has been compounded by my life, which has certainly been an unusual one, but essentially between my natural tendency toward obsession and personal experiences I often ponder man's inhumanity to man with an intensity that borders on panic.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social, I'm just a misanthrope. I hate people and all the things they do. What differentiates it is that a misanthrope understands that they are people, too, and they hate themselves for all of those same reasons. It's things like your story that keep me going.
Thanks.
This was the first time I ever bothered to mark my feelings on an asset (pro). I don't even know if marking it that means anything (website-wise), which is why I never bother. Your story means so much to me it is hard to describe. I can only give it context with a memory;
One time back in life I was offered some drugs by an authority figure. The drug smelled and tasted like cherries in the way that the twisted minds behind cough syrup imagine cherries to be. The man told me to count backwards from 100 and I only recall getting to 93.
When I awoke I had an IV in each arm as well as one in my jugular. Also they had intubated me. I was immediately frustrated because the light in the room came through a window and was that sort of post-dawn or pre-dusk light, leaving me unsure of what time it was. Disorientation on top of intubation is a veritable failure of existence. I noticed that my mother was in the room and indicated a desire to not be in this situation by flailing my hand limply. My mother was caught up in the allure of this attempt at a communique. Apparently there is nothing more adorable than the helpess pleading for assistance. I knew then that my best strategy for getting aid was to play into this and through miming managed to get a writing tool as well as some paper. After scrawling about my love for my mother I expounded upon what really wieghed on my mind: getting this thing out of my throat and maybe even some water (intubation is to your throat what a flood is not).
My point is that this memory of my first open heart surgery is one of my first memories in life (I was four) and it fostered in me a deep sense of disappointment in humanity. It is difficult to have a need and not be taken seriously. Obviously it has been compounded by my life, which has certainly been an unusual one, but essentially between my natural tendency toward obsession and personal experiences I often ponder man's inhumanity to man with an intensity that borders on panic.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social, I'm just a misanthrope. I hate people and all the things they do. What differentiates it is that a misanthrope understands that they are people, too, and they hate themselves for all of those same reasons. It's things like your story that keep me going.
Thanks.
extortshorties
+4 -0
There's really nothing I can say. I feel a little ridiculous being so self-conscious when you offered up an extremely painful and personal memory for all to see. So maybe I will give in to this need to share and connect without worrying if anyone else on this website thinks I'm Silly.
There is no way to defend an inherent love/optimism for mankind, especially to someone whose story you don't know, because it's inevitable that everyone has gone through at least one traumatic and horrifying experience that had the power to knock their emotional lights out and rip out any shred of love or trust they had within them. Not that I am belittling your feelings or your experiences at all, believe me, I am so incredibly sorry that you had to endure what you did, and at such a young age... I just mean that with experiences and memories like this, it's very difficult to expect anyone to believe you when you try to say Everything is Going to Be Okay.
In fact, a lot of people find it really condescending when you try and tell them that it's all going to work out, don't worry, it's going to get better. Unfortunately, I think it's in many many many people's nature (myself included) to want to coddle and nurture and help, even when it's not wanted, or perhaps even harmful.
It's because of these conditions that I don't know what to say.
I know I can never convince you that people are good and that it's okay to let go and trust that they will treat you with the love and respect that everyone wants and deserves. I also know that it was a very real possibility that the homeless guy I gave the cake to could have been a crazy rapist, and that my actions were probably more reckless than anything else.
Because sometimes, people are terrible.
And sometimes, people are... impossible to look at. A humiliating, terrifying and seemingly hopeless group of monsters. I know that we have all probably felt like aliens visiting from another planet, and that everything in the world from social situations to murder to interior decorating to shoe shopping seems like a laughably foreign and bizarre ritual you are only witnessing from the outside.
I know there is nothing that I can say to convince you otherwise, but I still feel like I have to try.
Because I firmly believe that it is within all of us to love and honor and give and share and connect. Deep down, we all want to take care of each other. And even though I know it's possible that you will never agree with me, I still need to tell you these things because doing so proves that at the very least, it is within me to care about and love YOU.
Regardless of who you are or what you've done or what you are capable of, you are made of the same stuff that I am, and I promise you that, as a fellow human, the underlying emotion behind everything I could ever possibly feel for you is one of love and support.
This may all sound like a lot of overly sentimental and bizarre bullshit, especially in the context of a public forum, but really, dude. I see you as a flawed and wonderful being who is capable of some of the most kind and beautiful acts known to our universe, as well as being capable of some of the most deplorable and horrifying crimes that one could ever commit. And I will always love you.
So even if you don't believe it with regards to our species as a whole, please know that at least one stranger cares about you and would totally give you a slice of cake right now if she could.
....man please don't be creeped out, i'm just tryin' to show you not everyone is a dick
There's really nothing I can say. I feel a little ridiculous being so self-conscious when you offered up an extremely painful and personal memory for all to see. So maybe I will give in to this need to share and connect without worrying if anyone else on this website thinks I'm Silly.
There is no way to defend an inherent love/optimism for mankind, especially to someone whose story you don't know, because it's inevitable that everyone has gone through at least one traumatic and horrifying experience that had the power to knock their emotional lights out and rip out any shred of love or trust they had within them. Not that I am belittling your feelings or your experiences at all, believe me, I am so incredibly sorry that you had to endure what you did, and at such a young age... I just mean that with experiences and memories like this, it's very difficult to expect anyone to believe you when you try to say Everything is Going to Be Okay.
In fact, a lot of people find it really condescending when you try and tell them that it's all going to work out, don't worry, it's going to get better. Unfortunately, I think it's in many many many people's nature (myself included) to want to coddle and nurture and help, even when it's not wanted, or perhaps even harmful.
It's because of these conditions that I don't know what to say.
I know I can never convince you that people are good and that it's okay to let go and trust that they will treat you with the love and respect that everyone wants and deserves. I also know that it was a very real possibility that the homeless guy I gave the cake to could have been a crazy rapist, and that my actions were probably more reckless than anything else.
Because sometimes, people are terrible.
And sometimes, people are... impossible to look at. A humiliating, terrifying and seemingly hopeless group of monsters. I know that we have all probably felt like aliens visiting from another planet, and that everything in the world from social situations to murder to interior decorating to shoe shopping seems like a laughably foreign and bizarre ritual you are only witnessing from the outside.
I know there is nothing that I can say to convince you otherwise, but I still feel like I have to try.
Because I firmly believe that it is within all of us to love and honor and give and share and connect. Deep down, we all want to take care of each other. And even though I know it's possible that you will never agree with me, I still need to tell you these things because doing so proves that at the very least, it is within me to care about and love YOU.
Regardless of who you are or what you've done or what you are capable of, you are made of the same stuff that I am, and I promise you that, as a fellow human, the underlying emotion behind everything I could ever possibly feel for you is one of love and support.
This may all sound like a lot of overly sentimental and bizarre bullshit, especially in the context of a public forum, but really, dude. I see you as a flawed and wonderful being who is capable of some of the most kind and beautiful acts known to our universe, as well as being capable of some of the most deplorable and horrifying crimes that one could ever commit. And I will always love you.
So even if you don't believe it with regards to our species as a whole, please know that at least one stranger cares about you and would totally give you a slice of cake right now if she could.
....man please don't be creeped out, i'm just tryin' to show you not everyone is a dick
wazza
+0 -1
TL;DR
TL;DR
wazza
+1 -0
whoever lamed me obviously does not get the thrilling and witty juxtaposition I was trying to establish between the deeply moving text above and my dickish reply.
WHY must I work with such PHILLISTINES?
whoever lamed me obviously does not get the thrilling and witty juxtaposition I was trying to establish between the deeply moving text above and my dickish reply.
WHY must I work with such PHILLISTINES?
teezee
+0 -0
Dang and shoot, I was mostly just drunk when I wrote that (ok, maybe I am drunk now as well). That story is hardly a personal one, and scorpio got it right below; my surgeon was brilliant (for both open hearts). Seriously, my life has made open heart surgery a mundane experience so while I understand how this seems to be in the 'normal sense' my intent was not to add such gravity as a man who sports a bloatee has but merely to give context to how awesome I thought your reply was (and why). This whole got too srs too fast for the interwebs!
Where is Dr. Manflesh when he is needed most?!
Dang and shoot, I was mostly just drunk when I wrote that (ok, maybe I am drunk now as well). That story is hardly a personal one, and scorpio got it right below; my surgeon was brilliant (for both open hearts). Seriously, my life has made open heart surgery a mundane experience so while I understand how this seems to be in the 'normal sense' my intent was not to add such gravity as a man who sports a bloatee has but merely to give context to how awesome I thought your reply was (and why). This whole got too srs too fast for the interwebs!
Where is Dr. Manflesh when he is needed most?!
extortshorties
+0 -0
I, too, was drunk, but if I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you, I probably would have blubbered on like that if I were sober too, so I can't offer that up as an excuse. I'm just a blubberer like that.
Oh man well now I feel like a total dingdong.
Here's a, you know... a cat on a roomba slapping a dog.
https://lolsnaps.com/upload_images/real/401.gif
And here are two baby otters.
https://heartymagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/baby-otter-4.jpg
ALLRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
I, too, was drunk, but if I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you, I probably would have blubbered on like that if I were sober too, so I can't offer that up as an excuse. I'm just a blubberer like that.
Oh man well now I feel like a total dingdong.
Here's a, you know... a cat on a roomba slapping a dog.
https://lolsnaps.com/upload_images/real/401.gif
And here are two baby otters.
https://heartymagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/baby-otter-4.jpg
ALLRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
teezee
+0 -0
Man, the only solution now is to meet up in the bay area with every other nearby Achewood fan and just get all kinds of our drank on, then pretend that none of this ever happened.
Too bad I am homeless or I would totally host an Achewood get-together.
Man, the only solution now is to meet up in the bay area with every other nearby Achewood fan and just get all kinds of our drank on, then pretend that none of this ever happened.
Too bad I am homeless or I would totally host an Achewood get-together.
carlyle
+0 -0
You have ANY idea how awkward that would be?
You have ANY idea how awkward that would be?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Philippe, the saddest thing is a little boy whose life was saved by a brilliant surgeon only to wake up and find he has a mother who is oblivious to her little boy's needs, so that saved life was therefore totally wasted.Forever. The End."
Liebot glare:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Philippe, the saddest thing is a little boy whose life was saved by a brilliant surgeon only to wake up and find he has a mother who is oblivious to her little boy's needs, so that saved life was therefore totally wasted.Forever. The End."
Liebot glare:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
belgand
+0 -0
That still doesn't justify or atone for listening to Lady Gaga.
That still doesn't justify or atone for listening to Lady Gaga.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
Was he a down-on-his-luck forums moderator?
Was he a down-on-his-luck forums moderator?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Have it your way, i guess...
Have it your way, i guess...
thinman
+0 -0
It was only awkward....because you're clearly a FILTHY, FILTHY, THREAD THIEF!
It was only awkward....because you're clearly a FILTHY, FILTHY, THREAD THIEF!
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
I'm just going to ignore this crazy dude mumbling shit about public transport and such until this....OH NO HE HIJACKED MY THREADSSSSS
I'm just going to ignore this crazy dude mumbling shit about public transport and such until this....OH NO HE HIJACKED MY THREADSSSSS
lungfish
+0 -0
You can't out-crazy crazy people without being prepared for a crazy-person fight or being glared at for making a poor retarded man cry.
You can't out-crazy crazy people without being prepared for a crazy-person fight or being glared at for making a poor retarded man cry.
vance
+0 -0
They are generally aware enough to recognize competition, which they then go back to public jerkoff shit-flinging crazy and direct it at each other until the one with the smaller horns backs off and finds a new block.
Some of them are on amiable terms with each other, but this seems to be a function of time rather than immediate tolerance.
They are generally aware enough to recognize competition, which they then go back to public jerkoff shit-flinging crazy and direct it at each other until the one with the smaller horns backs off and finds a new block.
Some of them are on amiable terms with each other, but this seems to be a function of time rather than immediate tolerance.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Banda Aceh wood?
Banda Aceh wood?
glade8tormel
+0 -0
exactly.
exactly.
edthehead
+0 -0
Actually, the arson was committed by Free Acehwood Movement militants.
Actually, the arson was committed by Free Acehwood Movement militants.
extrabastard
+0 -0
It's time for some Taco Bell now. there is no good end
It's time for some Taco Bell now. there is no good end
rocketbunny
+1 -0
I think I just felt the internet breathe a tiny sigh of relief for T.
I think I just felt the internet breathe a tiny sigh of relief for T.
daidai
+0 -0
The next panel of the next comic will have a little bar that says "Meanwhile" and a picture of feline fellatio.
Assetbar will become a furry imageboard within 2 weeks.
The next panel of the next comic will have a little bar that says "Meanwhile" and a picture of feline fellatio.
Assetbar will become a furry imageboard within 2 weeks.
belgand
+0 -0
Become? We only have our current respite due to IMGS OFF and Manflesh's indolence.
Become? We only have our current respite due to IMGS OFF and Manflesh's indolence.
daidai
+0 -0
oh god we were furries all along!!
oh god we were furries all along!!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The furry was in your heart the whole time! ::gunshot::
The furry was in your heart the whole time! ::gunshot::
joefalco
+0 -0
The furry's into some body part. Not sure that it's the heart though.
The furry's into some body part. Not sure that it's the heart though.
mockereo
+0 -0
i think that fur lining your cardiac chambers might prove problematic, in terms of getting all gunked up and preventing blood from being pumped.
i think that fur lining your cardiac chambers might prove problematic, in terms of getting all gunked up and preventing blood from being pumped.
missbee
+2 -0
M. Night Shyamalan tips his hat silently from the shadows in the wings of the Assetbar Stage.
M. Night Shyamalan tips his hat silently from the shadows in the wings of the Assetbar Stage.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
"It's pronounced Fay-lip! Honestly people, you're only making this harder on yourselves."
"It's pronounced Fay-lip! Honestly people, you're only making this harder on yourselves."
missbee
+0 -0
"He ruined the whole story, but at least Ray's floppy-arm walk was done right"
"He ruined the whole story, but at least Ray's floppy-arm walk was done right"
plummet
+0 -0
THAT'S NOT TRUE
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
THAT'S NOT TRUE
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
joefalco
+0 -0
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
ratacattt
+0 -0
feel the fuzz. come to the svelt side.
feel the fuzz. come to the svelt side.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
yiff inhell assetbar, furfags
yiff in
w_w
+0 -0
I have a feeling that we're all about to get "commodored".
I have a feeling that we're all about to get "commodored".
belgand
+0 -0
You mean, go bankrupt after the failure of the Amiga? Is there any other choice?
You mean, go bankrupt after the failure of the Amiga? Is there any other choice?
ratacattt
+0 -0
I think we're all getting Wanged. If Wang Laboratories made BBS software, it would be Assetbar.
I think we're all getting Wanged. If Wang Laboratories made BBS software, it would be Assetbar.
mantasmicdude
+0 -0
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE CAT COCK.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE CAT COCK.
plummet
+5 -0
it wemt
in tacodor
it wemt
in tacodor
smilebuddha
+1 -0
All souls were taken then
All souls were taken then
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Taken to dat base, oh lawd.
Taken to dat base, oh lawd.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
All your base, in your face.
All your base, in your face.
wazza
+1 -0
IM IN UR BASE, ROKIN UR CAN
IM IN UR BASE, ROKIN UR CAN
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Oh the Places You'll Go
Oh the Places You'll Go
boheeka
+1 -0
In a nice van...
In a nice van...
dusty
+1 -0
On an Airplane in A Spaceship Bound for Space
On an Airplane in A Spaceship Bound for Space
catoblepas
+2 -0
I cannot imagine an airplane in a spaceship being anything more than packed cargo, or perhaps a vehicle to be deployed once then spaceship reaches a planetary destination. The airplane would have no use in space itself, and it would be just silly to have a fully-working airplane in a wind tunnel flying aboard a spaceship.
I mean, come on.
I cannot imagine an airplane in a spaceship being anything more than packed cargo, or perhaps a vehicle to be deployed once then spaceship reaches a planetary destination. The airplane would have no use in space itself, and it would be just silly to have a fully-working airplane in a wind tunnel flying aboard a spaceship.
I mean, come on.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
The Tenmen made it a real song, y'know.
It's out there on the Internet...somewhere.
The Tenmen made it a real song, y'know.
It's out there on the Internet...somewhere.
wazza
+1 -0
actually, in some of the larger designs flight could be a popular pastime, due to the dramatically decreased apparent gravity at higher "altitudes" in O'Neill style habitats.
actually, in some of the larger designs flight could be a popular pastime, due to the dramatically decreased apparent gravity at higher "altitudes" in O'Neill style habitats.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
Thank you for choosing Ringworld Airlines; please do not smile at the Kzin, and refrain from bothering your two-headed pilot. He is dancing.
Thank you for choosing Ringworld Airlines; please do not smile at the Kzin, and refrain from bothering your two-headed pilot. He is dancing.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
Thank you for choosing Ringworld Airlines; please do not smile at the Kzin, and refrain from bothering your two-headed pilot. He is dancing.
Thank you for choosing Ringworld Airlines; please do not smile at the Kzin, and refrain from bothering your two-headed pilot. He is dancing.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
Thank you for choosing Ringworld Airlines; please do not smile at the Kzin, and refrain from bothering your two-headed pilot. He is dancing.
Thank you for choosing Ringworld Airlines; please do not smile at the Kzin, and refrain from bothering your two-headed pilot. He is dancing.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The comment so nice he posted thrice.
The comment so nice he posted thrice.
aperson
+2 -0
Assetbar: There Aint No Justice.
Assetbar: There Aint No Justice.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Bless you, sir. Have a chubby.
Bless you, sir. Have a chubby.
contrasoma
+21 -0
As time went on we saw less and less of Nathan, until eventually he became just another face in town. It happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant. The last time I'd heard, Nathan had spent some time in jail. He was now doing odd jobs around Castle Rock.
Darren enrolled in the college courses with me, and, although it was hard, he gutted it out like he always did. He went on to college and eventually became a lawyer. Last week he entered a fast food restaurant. Just ahead of him, two men got into an argument%u2014one of them pulled a knife. Darren, who had always made the best peace, tried to break it up. He was stabbed in the throat. He died almost instantly. Although I hadn't seen him in more than ten years, I know I'll miss him forever.
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had in high school. Jesus, does anyone?
As time went on we saw less and less of Nathan, until eventually he became just another face in town. It happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant. The last time I'd heard, Nathan had spent some time in jail. He was now doing odd jobs around Castle Rock.
Darren enrolled in the college courses with me, and, although it was hard, he gutted it out like he always did. He went on to college and eventually became a lawyer. Last week he entered a fast food restaurant. Just ahead of him, two men got into an argument%u2014one of them pulled a knife. Darren, who had always made the best peace, tried to break it up. He was stabbed in the throat. He died almost instantly. Although I hadn't seen him in more than ten years, I know I'll miss him forever.
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had in high school. Jesus, does anyone?
belgand
+0 -0
I suspect I might be speaking for a wide number of us here, but I didn't have much in the way of friends in high school. In college and at later times, but not in high school.
The weird part is when you're really good friends with people you knew casually in high school after you all graduate.
I suspect I might be speaking for a wide number of us here, but I didn't have much in the way of friends in high school. In college and at later times, but not in high school.
The weird part is when you're really good friends with people you knew casually in high school after you all graduate.
contrasoma
+2 -0
The issue is not the actual lived experience of high school, but the Platonic ideal of HIGH SCHOOL (imagine a Wagnerian aria of your choice to play in yr head while those words are read) instilled in us almost right from birth. It's what innumerable teen movies sell us (see above), what countless AM hits immortalize, and it's what's in play in Nice Pete's dark pantomime.
This ideal is an illusion, but it is one whose shadow we live under before, during, and forever after our true high school lives, whatever those might be (only and actually life).
The issue is not the actual lived experience of high school, but the Platonic ideal of HIGH SCHOOL (imagine a Wagnerian aria of your choice to play in yr head while those words are read) instilled in us almost right from birth. It's what innumerable teen movies sell us (see above), what countless AM hits immortalize, and it's what's in play in Nice Pete's dark pantomime.
This ideal is an illusion, but it is one whose shadow we live under before, during, and forever after our true high school lives, whatever those might be (only and actually life).
joefalco
+1 -1
I miss The Wonder Years...
I miss The Wonder Years...
ratacattt
+0 -0
I remember nothing about it except wanting to bone that one chick
I remember nothing about it except wanting to bone that one chick
belgand
+0 -0
She's hotter and even more boneable now, even with a bit of that chipmunk face. Plus, we've found out that she was geekier than we'd suspected. Think of it as a coda to the series and how we're even worse off now.
She's hotter and even more boneable now, even with a bit of that chipmunk face. Plus, we've found out that she was geekier than we'd suspected. Think of it as a coda to the series and how we're even worse off now.
wazza
+1 -0
google says she's pregnant right now
oh what a world we live in, where I can go from having never heard of someone, to lusting after them, to knowing that they are pregnant with someone else's baby in twenty seconds.
I think that's a new record for me.
google says she's pregnant right now
oh what a world we live in, where I can go from having never heard of someone, to lusting after them, to knowing that they are pregnant with someone else's baby in twenty seconds.
I think that's a new record for me.
galbraith
+0 -0
I miss Stand By Me
I miss Stand By Me
belgand
+1 -0
As I am listening to Big Star at the moment I think I am actually having a HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE by agreeing with you.
"Let's drive this van to the place where we can live a true life according to our ideals. It has to exist somewhere and if it doesn't we'll just keep on driving until it does."
I am led to believe that Japan actually has this far worse than we do. But somehow it's different there.
As I am listening to Big Star at the moment I think I am actually having a HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE by agreeing with you.
"Let's drive this van to the place where we can live a true life according to our ideals. It has to exist somewhere and if it doesn't we'll just keep on driving until it does."
I am led to believe that Japan actually has this far worse than we do. But somehow it's different there.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That's pretty good though, because by college you've lost faith in your hometown, meth addicts and smack heads everywhere having babies and getting shot, but then you have a long lost trust in humanity reaffirmed when you stumble upon someone who represents the past of that same shithole town for you and they turn out to be an awesome person.
That's pretty good though, because by college you've lost faith in your hometown, meth addicts and smack heads everywhere having babies and getting shot, but then you have a long lost trust in humanity reaffirmed when you stumble upon someone who represents the past of that same shithole town for you and they turn out to be an awesome person.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Or it turns out everyone in your senior class wound up doing meth and going to jail for indecent exposure (my senior class)
Or it turns out everyone in your senior class wound up doing meth and going to jail for indecent exposure (my senior class)
mockereo
+0 -0
(you included)?
(you included)?
wazza
+0 -0
he's on assetbar, isn't he?
he's on assetbar, isn't he?
ryder-p-moses
+1 -0
I was framed, man; an innocent man done wrong by the system
Nobody can prove I had my pants off in that mall, nobody . 'S all slander by moms with an agenda.
I was framed, man; an innocent man done wrong by the system
Nobody can prove I had my pants off in that mall, nobody . 'S all slander by moms with an agenda.
catoblepas
+1 -0
Moms With An Agenda sounds like Ray's new favorite breast-on-cake smush film series.
There's this one starlet from Norway named Aurora Icingtits. Fans buy the little sugar roses that are her cake film signature.
Moms With An Agenda sounds like Ray's new favorite breast-on-cake smush film series.
There's this one starlet from Norway named Aurora Icingtits. Fans buy the little sugar roses that are her cake film signature.
wingspan
+0 -0
I lived in Norway and you're lying.
I lived in Norway and you're lying.
catoblepas
+0 -0
(She is not actually from Norway, and that is not her real name. It is a Porn Thing, like a denuded pubis / shaved chinchilla)
(She is not actually from Norway, and that is not her real name. It is a Porn Thing, like a denuded pubis / shaved chinchilla)
wingspan
+1 -0
(Now what you have said is accurate. She is my wife.)
(Now what you have said is accurate. She is my wife.)
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
I dunno man that's pretty much a combination of some of the least sexy words in the English language.
I dunno man that's pretty much a combination of some of the least sexy words in the English language.
catoblepas
+1 -0
She could be named Gursel Aidscancer, or Thrush Curdlevomit. I hardly think "Icingtits" is the least sexy.
She could be named Gursel Aidscancer, or Thrush Curdlevomit. I hardly think "Icingtits" is the least sexy.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Ryder-p-Moses 10th Class Reunion:
PLACE- COUNTY JAIL! BE THERE NAKED OR BE SQUARE!
Ryder-p-Moses 10th Class Reunion:
PLACE- COUNTY JAIL! BE THERE NAKED OR BE SQUARE!
ryder-p-moses
+1 -0
Not gonna lie
The meth buffet at the last prison get-together was pretty awesome
Not gonna lie
The meth buffet at the last prison get-together was pretty awesome
catoblepas
+0 -0
Real meth or Fools' Meth?
Real meth or Fools' Meth?
rearadmiral
+0 -0
And the tickle harvest was bountiful that year.
And the tickle harvest was bountiful that year.
ryder-p-moses
+1 -0
Does it count if fools are involved in every step of the production, distribution, and consumption process?
Does it count if fools are involved in every step of the production, distribution, and consumption process?
belgand
+0 -0
Not really. I never liked my hometown. I didn't get people who wanted to stay close to home during college. Isn't the point to get as far away as possible? Even though I'm friends with people who never left I can't possibly understand them. They bought houses, got married, and had kids and they're still living ten minutes away from where they grew up. It's depressing.
I moved two thousand miles away until I hit the ocean and couldn't go any further and I have never looked or been back.
Not really. I never liked my hometown. I didn't get people who wanted to stay close to home during college. Isn't the point to get as far away as possible? Even though I'm friends with people who never left I can't possibly understand them. They bought houses, got married, and had kids and they're still living ten minutes away from where they grew up. It's depressing.
I moved two thousand miles away until I hit the ocean and couldn't go any further and I have never looked or been back.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm not saying everyone feels that way, or me. I go to school a few hundred miles away. But you get a bit of homesickness sometimes and if you're lucky you meet new people who are actually old people but now things work out differently for some reason. Don't hate.
I'm not saying everyone feels that way, or me. I go to school a few hundred miles away. But you get a bit of homesickness sometimes and if you're lucky you meet new people who are actually old people but now things work out differently for some reason. Don't hate.
neonfreon
+0 -0
belgand: it sounds like you come from a shitty place
belgand: it sounds like you come from a shitty place
neonfreon
+0 -0
i will further guess that you come from a bland midwestern state and ended up somewhere in the bay area with all the other people from bland midwestern states who migrate to the bay area in attempt to fill the void formed by their lack of a cultural identity.
i will further guess that you come from a bland midwestern state and ended up somewhere in the bay area with all the other people from bland midwestern states who migrate to the bay area in attempt to fill the void formed by their lack of a cultural identity.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This sounds reasonable. The 2000 miles thing works too.
This sounds reasonable. The 2000 miles thing works too.
catoblepas
+0 -0
He would walk five hundred miles and he would walk five hundred more. And then another thousand, because that's not far enough to escape the soulcrushing banality and anti-intellectualism of his hometown.
I was lucky, born on the coast.
I mean, not literally on the coast . It's not like the doctor had to wash sand off me.
And now I live on the coast, but north. It's pretty sweet, although my current town is known for hard drinking and meth. But at least it isn't Billings, Montana.
(Huge slam on Billings out of nowhere)
He would walk five hundred miles and he would walk five hundred more. And then another thousand, because that's not far enough to escape the soulcrushing banality and anti-intellectualism of his hometown.
I was lucky, born on the coast.
I mean, not literally on the coast . It's not like the doctor had to wash sand off me.
And now I live on the coast, but north. It's pretty sweet, although my current town is known for hard drinking and meth. But at least it isn't Billings, Montana.
(Huge slam on Billings out of nowhere)
thinman
+0 -0
Billings totally deserves it.
Billings totally deserves it.
belgand
+0 -0
That is exactly the case. Kansas City. I moved to San Francisco for slightly other reasons though. One of which was living as far away from my parents as feasible. And since my mother's family is on the east coast I didn't have a lot of options.
That is exactly the case. Kansas City. I moved to San Francisco for slightly other reasons though. One of which was living as far away from my parents as feasible. And since my mother's family is on the east coast I didn't have a lot of options.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Philippe THAT is the saddest thing.
Philippe THAT is the saddest thing.
wazza
+0 -0
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I know everyone is supposed to have had really gritty and troubled teenage years, but I enjoyed going to school. A fair number of my current circle of friends are people I knew at school, including most of my closest ones. University, on the other hand, consisted of me feeling bored and lonely for three years. I think that due to being naturally standoffish I just make friends better when I am forced into close proximity with people, like at school or in an office. University gave me too much time to spend sitting on my own in libraries or in front of the telly. I was a pretty happy teenager. Looking back on it that probably has something to do with the fact that looking old enough to buy booze for parties is more of a social accomplishment when one is 15.
I know everyone is supposed to have had really gritty and troubled teenage years, but I enjoyed going to school. A fair number of my current circle of friends are people I knew at school, including most of my closest ones. University, on the other hand, consisted of me feeling bored and lonely for three years. I think that due to being naturally standoffish I just make friends better when I am forced into close proximity with people, like at school or in an office. University gave me too much time to spend sitting on my own in libraries or in front of the telly. I was a pretty happy teenager. Looking back on it that probably has something to do with the fact that looking old enough to buy booze for parties is more of a social accomplishment when one is 15.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
....Castle Rock?
WHERE ARE YOU??
....Castle Rock?
WHERE ARE YOU??
doktorrat
+0 -0
It's a paraphrased quote from Stephen King's 'The Body', a novella that was adapted to film as 'Stand by Me'.
It's a paraphrased quote from Stephen King's 'The Body', a novella that was adapted to film as 'Stand by Me'.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Yes. Thankyou. That was bugging the crap out of me.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Yes. Thankyou. That was bugging the crap out of me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Different ones. Definitely different. It was like "before LSD" and "after LSD", if you know what I mean.
I met up with my H.S. friends last summer- it was 40 years on, and from Woodstock too, etc.
They say you can't go back there, and that's true, nor should one want to; but just being able to look back and see is comfort enough.
Different ones. Definitely different. It was like "before LSD" and "after LSD", if you know what I mean.
I met up with my H.S. friends last summer- it was 40 years on, and from Woodstock too, etc.
They say you can't go back there, and that's true, nor should one want to; but just being able to look back and see is comfort enough.
lateadopter
+35 -0
As we enter month three,
I wish I could flee
From this arc of great horror
Found South of the Border.
T rode with Nice Pete
Who offered to treat
But delivered instead
Some blows to the head.
T's forced to pinch a loaf
And confronted by an oaf
Who mistakes him for an addick
But doesn't shoot him right quick.
"You ain't shoot a doody-boy on a acid trip.
...They got all them active pathways ."
Lurquilla and Mayner
The chernchilla trainers
Lost all in the fire
When they built a pyre
Over T's bowel movement.
It was an improvement.
The waitress on the night shift
Could but let Nice Pete drift
From table to table to
Solicit what he's able to.
Pity poor Nathan,
He's encountered a Satan.
In return for his ardor
He'll not meet with Carter.
The homecoming queen
Says might as well come clean.
Now witness caged heat
Performed with aged meat.
Will that enrage Pete
or tickle his feet?
What was T pulling on?
Ol' Nathan's big lingam?
Or was it his jeans
To be used as a means
To bust open the lock
And avoid sucking cock?
Soon we will learn
Just how this worm turns.
The deadline's been beat:
We got update, not tweet.
As we enter month three,
I wish I could flee
From this arc of great horror
Found South of the Border.
T rode with Nice Pete
Who offered to treat
But delivered instead
Some blows to the head.
T's forced to pinch a loaf
And confronted by an oaf
Who mistakes him for an addick
But doesn't shoot him right quick.
"You ain't shoot a doody-boy on a acid trip.
...They got all them active pathways ."
Lurquilla and Mayner
The chernchilla trainers
Lost all in the fire
When they built a pyre
Over T's bowel movement.
It was an improvement.
The waitress on the night shift
Could but let Nice Pete drift
From table to table to
Solicit what he's able to.
Pity poor Nathan,
He's encountered a Satan.
In return for his ardor
He'll not meet with Carter.
The homecoming queen
Says might as well come clean.
Now witness caged heat
Performed with aged meat.
Will that enrage Pete
or tickle his feet?
What was T pulling on?
Ol' Nathan's big lingam?
Or was it his jeans
To be used as a means
To bust open the lock
And avoid sucking cock?
Soon we will learn
Just how this worm turns.
The deadline's been beat:
We got update, not tweet.
bradypalvarez
+0 -0
a tour de force
a tour de force
thespoof
+0 -0
that was wonderful
that was wonderful
plummet
+0 -0
Splendid!
Splendid!
ganymedeio
+0 -0
Well done.
Well done.
gabriel
+0 -0
Wow, very good rhyming! "Caged heat" and "aged meat" is brilliant.
Wow, very good rhyming! "Caged heat" and "aged meat" is brilliant.
daidai
+6 -0
This strange family has easily taken the record for the worst chinchilla-related decisions in recent history.
This strange family has easily taken the record for the worst chinchilla-related decisions in recent history.
daidai
+2 -0
Note that I had to qualify "recent" history because of the Great Fire of 1666, when Thomas Farriner attempted to prove that placing chinchillas in an oven immediately before baking country rye bread keeps the loose grains on the outside from burning and obtaining an unpleasant smokey taste.
Farriner's famous quote if I recall was "Fuck smokey bread."
Note that I had to qualify "recent" history because of the Great Fire of 1666, when Thomas Farriner attempted to prove that placing chinchillas in an oven immediately before baking country rye bread keeps the loose grains on the outside from burning and obtaining an unpleasant smokey taste.
Farriner's famous quote if I recall was "Fuck smokey bread."
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I'm almost certain that the Great Fire was started by time-travellers. It's the sort of thing that happens in children's cartoons, when time travelling is involved. Perhaps Bill and Ted did it.
I'm almost certain that the Great Fire was started by time-travellers. It's the sort of thing that happens in children's cartoons, when time travelling is involved. Perhaps Bill and Ted did it.
rumblefish
+2 -0
Every time traveller starts the Great Fire. By 2139 it's basically a ride Disneyplanet.
Every time traveller starts the Great Fire. By 2139 it's basically a ride Disneyplanet.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
FFFFFFFFFFFF Awesome.
FFFFFFFFFFFF Awesome.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Everybody kills Hitler on their first try.
Everybody kills Hitler on their first try.
belgand
+1 -0
What does it say about me as a person that I would not kill Hitler nor would I have any urge or desire to do so? Befriending him (either just to hang out and party or to get in on that globabal domination thing early) I could see, but the only reason I can imagine killing him is to assume his identity and seize power for myself.
Could we maybe do it this time without all that genocide, man? People hate that shit and it'll make you look like a tool.
What does it say about me as a person that I would not kill Hitler nor would I have any urge or desire to do so? Befriending him (either just to hang out and party or to get in on that globabal domination thing early) I could see, but the only reason I can imagine killing him is to assume his identity and seize power for myself.
Could we maybe do it this time without all that genocide, man? People hate that shit and it'll make you look like a tool.
gournal
+0 -0
At least they aren't feeding moist food to the cherchillas-that would spell worse disaster than my spelling of 'chinchillas.'
At least they aren't feeding moist food to the cherchillas-that would spell worse disaster than my spelling of 'chinchillas.'
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
all cherchillas did get baptised
all cherchillas did get baptised
edthehead
+0 -0
All Cherchillas Go To Heaven--sneak preview tonight, only on ABC Family.
All Cherchillas Go To Heaven--sneak preview tonight, only on ABC Family.
lucidz
+3 -0
Because of checking achewood 3-4 times a day, while in my office, I can officially say, I've looked at cock multiple times a day since the last update... Damn you Onstad
Because of checking achewood 3-4 times a day, while in my office, I can officially say, I've looked at cock multiple times a day since the last update... Damn you Onstad
iwaslikebone_
+0 -0
Why would anyone check Achewood 3-4 times a day, you're lucky if you get that many new strips in 2 weeks.
(I also check achewood many times a day. I have OCD.)
Why would anyone check Achewood 3-4 times a day, you're lucky if you get that many new strips in 2 weeks.
(I also check achewood many times a day. I have OCD.)
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Yes, Pete, but do you really want to see what he's REALLY working on in the back of your van currently?
Yes, Pete, but do you really want to see what he's REALLY working on in the back of your van currently?
baylock
+0 -0
Man I don't even think Pete himself knows
There are things you can make a judgement call like that on and things you just can't
Teadore theoretically going at a ten-inch cat johnson for example
Man I don't even think Pete himself knows
There are things you can make a judgement call like that on and things you just can't
Teadore theoretically going at a ten-inch cat johnson for example
nice-on-water
+8 -0
Kind of a Schroedinger's Cat Dick going on.
Kind of a Schroedinger's Cat Dick going on.
robbiemofo
+2 -0
That is some brilliant gay cat-sex pseudo-physics right there. You could get on some tenured shit at Brown or Vassar with that kind of thinking.
That is some brilliant gay cat-sex pseudo-physics right there. You could get on some tenured shit at Brown or Vassar with that kind of thinking.
pygmalion00
+4 -0
Or in this case, Oral Roberts University.
Or in this case, Oral Roberts University.
lesange
+0 -0
Animals choke on moist food all the time; I've seen it on the Discovery Channel.
Animals choke on moist food all the time; I've seen it on the Discovery Channel.
daidai
+9 -0
Your mother is not an animal and for the last time stop calling my penis "moist food"
Such an unappealing nickname
Your mother is not an animal and for the last time stop calling my penis "moist food"
Such an unappealing nickname
lesange
+1 -0
Did you guys do it like they do on the Discovery Channel?
Did you guys do it like they do on the Discovery Channel?
wazza
+1 -0
I assume that they're nothing but mammals...
the alternatives are... disturbing.
I assume that they're nothing but mammals...
the alternatives are... disturbing.
lesange
+0 -0
Ugh, those non-mammals.
All doin' it froggy style.
Ugh, those non-mammals.
All doin' it froggy style.
wazza
+0 -0
Anurans do it non-penetratively.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amplexus
Anurans do it non-penetratively.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amplexus
ratacattt
+0 -0
I think my last gf must have been an anuran
I think my last gf must have been an anuran
wazza
+0 -0
she shat out a whole load of jelly-like globules and made you jack off onto them?
she shat out a whole load of jelly-like globules and made you jack off onto them?
rearadmiral
+0 -0
Somewhere...Somehow...this is a fetish.
And for some reason i think japan is to blame
Somewhere...Somehow...this is a fetish.
And for some reason i think japan is to blame
mockereo
+0 -0
Bubble tea.
I think they like it everywhere.
Bubble tea.
I think they like it everywhere.
wazza
+0 -0
so Taiwan is to blame?
They're makin' their move, is what they're doin'. They're goin' all-in, and darin' the other tiger economies to step to their game.
so Taiwan is to blame?
They're makin' their move, is what they're doin'. They're goin' all-in, and darin' the other tiger economies to step to their game.
thespoof
+0 -0
v-chubbed
v-chubbed
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...v-chubbus? Already?
Damn...
...v-chubbus? Already?
Damn...
hamscout
+0 -0
There's a good chance we may see an animal choking on moist food, when Nice Pete opens up that van...
There's a good chance we may see an animal choking on moist food, when Nice Pete opens up that van...
daidai
+0 -0
MOIST
MOIST
pygmalion00
+2 -0
Also, is it just me or did anyone else mistake the top two branches of the tree in the first three panels for an aardvark wanting to shake hands with someone?
Also, is it just me or did anyone else mistake the top two branches of the tree in the first three panels for an aardvark wanting to shake hands with someone?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
VIVUS, Inc. is a pharmaceutical company dedicated to the development and commercialization of novel therapeutic products. The current portfolio includes investigational products addressing obesity and sexual health. The pipeline includes: Qnexa(tm), which is in phase 3 for the treatment of obesity and phase 2 for the treatment of type 2 diabetes; Testosterone MDTS(r), for which a phase 2 study has been completed for the treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD); and avanafil, for which a phase 2 study has been completed for the treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED). For more information on clinical trials and products, please visit the company's web site at https://www.vivus.com .
VIVUS, Inc. is a pharmaceutical company dedicated to the development and commercialization of novel therapeutic products. The current portfolio includes investigational products addressing obesity and sexual health. The pipeline includes: Qnexa(tm), which is in phase 3 for the treatment of obesity and phase 2 for the treatment of type 2 diabetes; Testosterone MDTS(r), for which a phase 2 study has been completed for the treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD); and avanafil, for which a phase 2 study has been completed for the treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED). For more information on clinical trials and products, please visit the company's web site at https://www.vivus.com .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There is only 1 woman.
There is only 1 woman.
urbanoutlaw
+0 -0
Well...it's definitely less disturbing than any of the last few strips.
Well...it's definitely less disturbing than any of the last few strips.
professorriffs
+2 -0
"VROOOOO ......... OOOOOOOooooooooooo" is pretty fun to say out loud.
"VROOOOO ......... OOOOOOOooooooooooo" is pretty fun to say out loud.
invidious
+1 -0
Especially during sex.
Especially during sex.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
Wasn't that the sound the leafblower made in the Prince Halat thread? So good.
Wasn't that the sound the leafblower made in the Prince Halat thread? So good.
galbraith
+0 -0
And the Roombas?
And the Roombas?
dskim
+0 -0
I think that was one of my favorite threads, it was so funny.
I think that was one of my favorite threads, it was so funny.
kindergard
+0 -0
amateur mayhem means that you want to see the results
on screen, a pro trusts in the knowledge of a job well done and move on to the next project. huh, mayhem is just like porn...
amateur mayhem means that you want to see the results
on screen, a pro trusts in the knowledge of a job well done and move on to the next project. huh, mayhem is just like porn...
c_dizzle
+0 -0
And what he's learning in back could be an asset for amateur porn. Teodor is so versatile.
And what he's learning in back could be an asset for amateur porn. Teodor is so versatile.
troy_convers
+0 -1
When is the 'mayhem' starting? the definition of mayhem is:
'The intentional and wanton removal of a body part that would handicap a person's ability to defend himself in combat.'
Or perhaps it's a plot spoiler and before we know it Nathan will be parting company with his wanger, Bobbit stylee.
When is the 'mayhem' starting? the definition of mayhem is:
'The intentional and wanton removal of a body part that would handicap a person's ability to defend himself in combat.'
Or perhaps it's a plot spoiler and before we know it Nathan will be parting company with his wanger, Bobbit stylee.
wingspan
+4 -1
The definition of 'spoiler' is:
"A device for changing the airflow past a moving vehicle, often having the form of a transverse fin or blade mounted at the front or rear to reduce lift and increase traction at high speeds".
Why do you think a plot can have a spoiler, troy?
The definition of 'spoiler' is:
"A device for changing the airflow past a moving vehicle, often having the form of a transverse fin or blade mounted at the front or rear to reduce lift and increase traction at high speeds".
Why do you think a plot can have a spoiler, troy?
coldfrog
+1 -0
Because of a metaphor?
Because of a metaphor?
troy_convers
+0 -0
A comment left by troy_convers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by marijne, woodenteeth, miaou)
A comment left by troy_convers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by marijne, woodenteeth, miaou)
ratacattt
+7 -0
jesus christ it's like you two are from alternate universes both having the same yet different conversations at once
jesus christ it's like you two are from alternate universes both having the same yet different conversations at once
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
And wingspan is in the Has a Sense of Humor Universe.
And wingspan is in the Has a Sense of Humor Universe.
wingspan
+1 -0
Under-researched reply: When someone ignores the fact that some words have multiple unrelated (or weakly related) definitions .
Under-researched reply: When someone ignores the fact that some words have multiple unrelated (or weakly related) definitions .
catoblepas
+0 -0
Also please note that dictionaries are not sources of facts. They imperfectly describe language as it is used. If the usage of language changes, the dictionary must change to document it.
That is, if a whole lot of people use "mayhem" to mean "loosely directed destruction" even if said meaning is not in the dictionary, it is improper to appeal to the dictionary to correct that.
I'm not sold on continuing that argument to things like spelling. I think it's a social good that vocabulary and structure be mutable, but that spelling be standardized. Perhaps this view will be seen as quaint and closedminded in 50 years when everyone uses text-speak.
Also please note that dictionaries are not sources of facts. They imperfectly describe language as it is used. If the usage of language changes, the dictionary must change to document it.
That is, if a whole lot of people use "mayhem" to mean "loosely directed destruction" even if said meaning is not in the dictionary, it is improper to appeal to the dictionary to correct that.
I'm not sold on continuing that argument to things like spelling. I think it's a social good that vocabulary and structure be mutable, but that spelling be standardized. Perhaps this view will be seen as quaint and closedminded in 50 years when everyone uses text-speak.
ratacattt
+1 -0
NO
NO
dskim
+0 -0
I am pleased and relieved to know that everyone is so nerdy that there is even the notion of an under-researched reply. I have always posted here to show off knowledge or wit, and I hope everyone else does, too.
I am pleased and relieved to know that everyone is so nerdy that there is even the notion of an under-researched reply. I have always posted here to show off knowledge or wit, and I hope everyone else does, too.
ratacattt
+0 -0
the other day I posted here to show off my penis
the other day I posted here to show off my penis
glade8tormel
+0 -0
and it certainly made me feel a whole lot better about myself.
and it certainly made me feel a whole lot better about myself.
mockereo
+0 -0
oh yeah I've been meaning to say thanks for taking down that really flashy annoying avatar in favur of a mojito. so much more refreshing.
oh yeah I've been meaning to say thanks for taking down that really flashy annoying avatar in favur of a mojito. so much more refreshing.
ratacattt
+0 -0
yeah I am incorigible I hate people with annoying avatars then I go and get one just because I enjoy being annoying but the enjoyment wore off after a few days thankfully.
yeah I am incorigible I hate people with annoying avatars then I go and get one just because I enjoy being annoying but the enjoyment wore off after a few days thankfully.
theirateturk
+0 -0
That's a nice silken robe Nice Pete is wearing!!
That's a nice silken robe Nice Pete is wearing!!
djur
+0 -0
I think Onstad is going to blue-ball us on actually seeing Teodor horp and gurgle away on a dying cat's wing-wang, but I hope for his sake and Nathan's that he's industriously going to it as we read.
I think Onstad is going to blue-ball us on actually seeing Teodor horp and gurgle away on a dying cat's wing-wang, but I hope for his sake and Nathan's that he's industriously going to it as we read.
wazza
+0 -0
I think it more likely that he is using the aforementioned appendage as a cudgel to remove the lock, and that he does not care for Nathan to any great degree.
I think it more likely that he is using the aforementioned appendage as a cudgel to remove the lock, and that he does not care for Nathan to any great degree.
thegoodwillgirl
+5 -0
oh my god.
the door was blocked
the van was locked
and so T knocked
upon the lock
with Nathan's cock
while he took stock
and was in shock
he gazed and gawked
the clock tic tocked
and no one talked
they thought of bok
choy.
oh my god.
the door was blocked
the van was locked
and so T knocked
upon the lock
with Nathan's cock
while he took stock
and was in shock
he gazed and gawked
the clock tic tocked
and no one talked
they thought of bok
choy.
belgand
+0 -0
In my mind it goes on as "choyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee..." and then you drop the mic.
GWG- hella tight.
In my mind it goes on as "choyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee..." and then you drop the mic.
GWG- hella tight.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
haha, that is EXACTLY how it was meant to go.
thank you, belgand. thank you.
haha, that is EXACTLY how it was meant to go.
thank you, belgand. thank you.
belgand
+1 -0
Thelgand.
Thelgand.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Is that like if we have a baby?
Oh god dammit, it happened again.
Is that like if we have a baby?
Oh god dammit, it happened again.
belgand
+0 -0
It was a reference to Look Around You which you should watch immediately if you have not.
That was also not the classiest way to inform me of our latest child.
Still, if you want to rub one off against my jar I'll understand. Oh, and roll a condom over the jar first... I don't want no more babies.
Hmmm... how would a disembodied brain pleasure a woman? I might need to rethink this whole thing.
It was a reference to Look Around You which you should watch immediately if you have not.
That was also not the classiest way to inform me of our latest child.
Still, if you want to rub one off against my jar I'll understand. Oh, and roll a condom over the jar first... I don't want no more babies.
Hmmm... how would a disembodied brain pleasure a woman? I might need to rethink this whole thing.
wazza
+0 -0
that jar is kind of dildo-shaped
that jar is kind of dildo-shaped
stereo
+1 -0
Through intellectual stimuli of course.
Through intellectual stimuli of course.
divot
+0 -0
Belgand, Belgand, what hast thou donst?
Belgand, Belgand, what hast thou donst?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I love Look Around You. I do not know this reference. I am a failure at loving things.
Also, no, I think accidentally mentioning a baby on the internet is the classiest way. I'm sorry that you disagree.
Also, yes, get to rethinking. I'm getting impatient.
I love Look Around You. I do not know this reference. I am a failure at loving things.
Also, no, I think accidentally mentioning a baby on the internet is the classiest way. I'm sorry that you disagree.
Also, yes, get to rethinking. I'm getting impatient.
belgand
+1 -0
The various "Thanks foo. Thfoo." jokes such as the original "Thanks ants. Thants." in the first series.
Please name him Portario, in honour of our love.
The various "Thanks foo. Thfoo." jokes such as the original "Thanks ants. Thants." in the first series.
Please name him Portario, in honour of our love.
terribleman
+0 -0
Shouldn't the "Oh my god" be at the bottom and be more like "oh SHIIIIT!"?
Also: v-chubbed.
Shouldn't the "Oh my god" be at the bottom and be more like "oh SHIIIIT!"?
Also: v-chubbed.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Haha, no, the "oh my god" was meant to illustrate that I had just had the most mind blowing idea ever.
Also: yesssssssssssssssss.
Haha, no, the "oh my god" was meant to illustrate that I had just had the most mind blowing idea ever.
Also: yesssssssssssssssss.
wazza
+0 -0
Grace?
Grace?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Gawk and Talk don't rhyme with those others for everyone. NO CHUBBY. Okay maybe just one.
Gawk and Talk don't rhyme with those others for everyone. NO CHUBBY. Okay maybe just one.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Just because they're not spelled the same doesn't mean they don't rhyme? The way I pronounce them, they rhyme in the most hardcore way around.
Chubby.
Just because they're not spelled the same doesn't mean they don't rhyme? The way I pronounce them, they rhyme in the most hardcore way around.
Chubby.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
In my neck of the woods gawk and talk sound nothing like cock and lock, and my neck of the woods is the most hardcore neck around.
In my neck of the woods gawk and talk sound nothing like cock and lock, and my neck of the woods is the most hardcore neck around.
overmedicated
+0 -0
I'm bored.
I'm bored.
direbmem
+0 -0
...and yet, you're clearly overmedicated. Perhaps you're using the wrong substance(s).
...and yet, you're clearly overmedicated. Perhaps you're using the wrong substance(s).
ratacattt
+0 -0
My feelings on this strip are Con. I was hoping and expecting for Onstad to continue to troll the readership.
My feelings on this strip are Con. I was hoping and expecting for Onstad to continue to troll the readership.
thespoof
+0 -0
i like your new picture.
i like your new picture.
belgand
+0 -0
Chinchillas actually aren't supposed to get wet. Not like a Mogwai or anything, but their fur doesn't dry well and it can lead to fungus.
Chinchillas actually aren't supposed to get wet. Not like a Mogwai or anything, but their fur doesn't dry well and it can lead to fungus.
ratacattt
+0 -0
I keep telling my gf that she should shave her chinchilla
I keep telling my gf that she should shave her chinchilla
belgand
+0 -0
Depends. Waxing is nice, but then you have that period when it's growing back in and you can't do anything about it. Shaving is more high-maintenance, but it'll stay smooth. That is, if you don't have sensitive skin that's incredibly prone to ingrown hairs. Some ladies can't shave without making the situation arguably worse.
Depends. Waxing is nice, but then you have that period when it's growing back in and you can't do anything about it. Shaving is more high-maintenance, but it'll stay smooth. That is, if you don't have sensitive skin that's incredibly prone to ingrown hairs. Some ladies can't shave without making the situation arguably worse.
ratacattt
+0 -0
I am into the stubble feeling and I dig the pus from the ingrown hairs I say it's lubrication
I am into the stubble feeling and I dig the pus from the ingrown hairs I say it's lubrication
catoblepas
+0 -0
Yuck : /
I approve of close trimming. It can be maintained anytime, you don't get razorburn or ingrown hairs, and the hair usually remains fairly soft.
A dude who wants a girl to get waxed needs to see what it feels like to get a strip of testicle-hairs ripped out all at once before pressing the issue.
Yuck : /
I approve of close trimming. It can be maintained anytime, you don't get razorburn or ingrown hairs, and the hair usually remains fairly soft.
A dude who wants a girl to get waxed needs to see what it feels like to get a strip of testicle-hairs ripped out all at once before pressing the issue.
theirateturk
+1 -0
Not really; you shouldn't have had the misfortune of being born a woman.
Not really; you shouldn't have had the misfortune of being born a woman.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yeah, that is dickish of them.
Yeah, that is dickish of them.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Belgand knows about Chinchilla care and vagina maintenance. He is an internet Renaissance man. We got the Leonardo we deserved.
Belgand knows about Chinchilla care and vagina maintenance. He is an internet Renaissance man. We got the Leonardo we deserved.
belgand
+0 -0
Well, nobody ever asks me to transfect knock-out mutations targeting MMS9 susceptibility into S. cerevisiae using cloned E. coli plasmids around here.
Well, nobody ever asks me to transfect knock-out mutations targeting MMS9 susceptibility into S. cerevisiae using cloned E. coli plasmids around here.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Also, fuck this notion that pubic hair is unattractive. I don't know when men started desiring infantile pudenda but I find it off putting.
Also, fuck this notion that pubic hair is unattractive. I don't know when men started desiring infantile pudenda but I find it off putting.
plummet
+0 -0
also, razor bumps are so bad
so ugly
also, razor bumps are so bad
so ugly
plummet
+0 -0
Especially with this new HD porn that makes you feel like you're soaring into the girl's asshole when they zoom up on her butt
Especially with this new HD porn that makes you feel like you're soaring into the girl's asshole when they zoom up on her butt
thinman
+1 -0
That's not HD porn....that's 'cost effective' porn. They're filming it through a sigmoidoscope they borrowed from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.
That's not HD porn....that's 'cost effective' porn. They're filming it through a sigmoidoscope they borrowed from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.
belgand
+0 -0
Reference... appreciated.
Reference... appreciated.
plummet
+0 -0
Hi, Dr. Nick!
Hi, Dr. Nick!
belgand
+0 -0
When they started to crack down extra-hard on child porn on the Internet.
Twelve is perfect. Just as the tits start to come in, but before the pubes do.
When they started to crack down extra-hard on child porn on the Internet.
Twelve is perfect. Just as the tits start to come in, but before the pubes do.
wazza
+0 -0
I had bush at 11, and most girls mature before most guys, I think
I had bush at 11, and most girls mature before most guys, I think
promnight
+0 -0
Pete seems to have had an exagerated, psychopaths idea of high school hi-jinks, he egged Teodor on to do the vandalism at the chinchilla-house, then went and picked up a gay guy, and then intended to return to chinchilla house and throw Teodor and gay guy out in flagrante delicto, to embarrass him. Ha ha, yeah, thats funny, to a pyschopath.
Just one thing noone seems to have seen, Teodor was engaging in homoerotic activity with the old dude in the strip before the cat cock was unsheathed.
Pete seems to have had an exagerated, psychopaths idea of high school hi-jinks, he egged Teodor on to do the vandalism at the chinchilla-house, then went and picked up a gay guy, and then intended to return to chinchilla house and throw Teodor and gay guy out in flagrante delicto, to embarrass him. Ha ha, yeah, thats funny, to a pyschopath.
Just one thing noone seems to have seen, Teodor was engaging in homoerotic activity with the old dude in the strip before the cat cock was unsheathed.
belgand
+0 -0
No, that's just regular funny.
No, that's just regular funny.
diamond_pick
+10 -0
Nice Pete has the uncrowned emperor of all manwhores in his trunk. Consider the depth of Nathan's addiction to the cock: A naked and obviously mentally disturbed stranger was all the motivation needed to get him into that van. After his geriatric ass was beaten into unconsciousness, his first and only thought on waking up was how to get his dick wet in the 5 minutes he had left on this earth.
Nathan is a man who, if you suspended a fake penis from a fishing rod and tucked it into his shirt collar, would gleefully chase that dong into freeway traffic with outstretched arms and singularity of focus.
When that motherfucker learns that there are several dozen soggy chinchillas nearby, ain't no force on earth can stop him from breaking out of that van Kool-Aid style to get his fuck on.
As the scene transpires, Teodor can use his gourmand vocabulary to share with us the subtle nuances of what AIDS tastes like.
Nice Pete has the uncrowned emperor of all manwhores in his trunk. Consider the depth of Nathan's addiction to the cock: A naked and obviously mentally disturbed stranger was all the motivation needed to get him into that van. After his geriatric ass was beaten into unconsciousness, his first and only thought on waking up was how to get his dick wet in the 5 minutes he had left on this earth.
Nathan is a man who, if you suspended a fake penis from a fishing rod and tucked it into his shirt collar, would gleefully chase that dong into freeway traffic with outstretched arms and singularity of focus.
When that motherfucker learns that there are several dozen soggy chinchillas nearby, ain't no force on earth can stop him from breaking out of that van Kool-Aid style to get his fuck on.
As the scene transpires, Teodor can use his gourmand vocabulary to share with us the subtle nuances of what AIDS tastes like.
ratacattt
+0 -0
time for our weekly new reader welcome message
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like.
time for our weekly new reader welcome message
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like.
belgand
+0 -0
What would your plans be if you thought you only had a few minutes left to live and were locked in the back of a van with a nude stranger? It's not like they can play NBA Jam or something.
What would your plans be if you thought you only had a few minutes left to live and were locked in the back of a van with a nude stranger? It's not like they can play NBA Jam or something.
wazza
+0 -0
who says they can't?
who says they can't?
smilebuddha
+0 -0
They're in the back of the van. Somebody won...
They're in the back of the van. Somebody won...
dusty
+0 -0
But only one can go on to the Murder playoffs.
But only one can go on to the Murder playoffs.
catoblepas
+0 -0
There are relatively few tied games in the Murder Playoffs.
There are relatively few tied games in the Murder Playoffs.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CAT-BEAR DICKAGE???
Not a fan of the hicks' speech in this one. The last ones with them were readable but this slowed me down. Yet I AM a fan of Pete's reasoning. Darren will live.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CAT-BEAR DICKAGE???
Not a fan of the hicks' speech in this one. The last ones with them were readable but this slowed me down. Yet I AM a fan of Pete's reasoning. Darren will live.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Yeah I can't even hear the accents in my head anymore, it's just some bizarre codetalk of apostrophes and misspelled words
Yeah I can't even hear the accents in my head anymore, it's just some bizarre codetalk of apostrophes and misspelled words
jmd
+0 -0
Let's just never revisit the back of the van again and move on, I say
Let's just never revisit the back of the van again and move on, I say
lemmy
+0 -0
just double check the locks and park it the sun at a wal-mart? rude. we should date...
just double check the locks and park it the sun at a wal-mart? rude. we should date...
ratacattt
+0 -0
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcmahone, aHatOfPig, airza, Awko)
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcmahone, aHatOfPig, airza, Awko)
ganymedeio
+1 -0
I couldn't quite decipher all that business, but something makes me feel like you deserved those lames you got.
I couldn't quite decipher all that business, but something makes me feel like you deserved those lames you got.
ratacattt
+1 -0
okay I'll try again
it's like when there is a sports game somewhere in another time zone on another contienent
so they broadcast it with a tape delay of several hours
so you have the choice of tune in live at 2am or wait and watch it at 2pm. As long as you pretend it's live, you'll have fun.
Since the people doing the broadcasting have delayed it, they know exactly how long it's going to last, and if they wanted to, they could tell you exactly how long it's going to last at the start of the show.
Think of the time between strips as the length of the show.
is any of this starting to register now pikahue?
okay I'll try again
it's like when there is a sports game somewhere in another time zone on another contienent
so they broadcast it with a tape delay of several hours
so you have the choice of tune in live at 2am or wait and watch it at 2pm. As long as you pretend it's live, you'll have fun.
Since the people doing the broadcasting have delayed it, they know exactly how long it's going to last, and if they wanted to, they could tell you exactly how long it's going to last at the start of the show.
Think of the time between strips as the length of the show.
is any of this starting to register now pikahue?
jmd
+0 -1
I didn't get any lames, and even if I did, would it matter? They're freaking "lames" on Assetbar, nothing could matter less.
I didn't get any lames, and even if I did, would it matter? They're freaking "lames" on Assetbar, nothing could matter less.
extortshorties
+0 -0
Maybe he was talking about the post right above his with the three lames on it.
MAYBE.
Maybe he was talking about the post right above his with the three lames on it.
MAYBE.
ratacattt
+0 -0
ha ha JMD must have me on his ignore list. what a douche. "oh nooees I don't like what osmeone says Ima put them on ignore and sing loudly LA LA LA LA "
besides which lames on assetbar matter as much as any jib in any social relationship.
you all are real for me assetbar folk you all are real I love you please don't lame me
ha ha JMD must have me on his ignore list. what a douche. "oh nooees I don't like what osmeone says Ima put them on ignore and sing loudly LA LA LA LA "
besides which lames on assetbar matter as much as any jib in any social relationship.
you all are real for me assetbar folk you all are real I love you please don't lame me
jmd
+0 -1
Nope I can see your posts breh he's replying to my comment if you look at the indent
Nope I can see your posts breh he's replying to my comment if you look at the indent
mockereo
+1 -0
everyone disagrees with you.
everyone disagrees with you.
ratacattt
+0 -0
his avatar is evil looking. jmd is looking at me condecendingly. that's the majority of my beef with him.
sorry I accused you of being a douche jmd
by the way you should download assetbarista then you can better know who is reply to whom
his avatar is evil looking. jmd is looking at me condecendingly. that's the majority of my beef with him.
sorry I accused you of being a douche jmd
by the way you should download assetbarista then you can better know who is reply to whom
ganymedeio
+0 -0
No, no, I definitely was replying to ratacattt. I have absolutely no issue with jmd. LET IT BE KNOWN. As far as your idea was concerned, ratacattt, I think I more or less get what you're getting at, but I am not sure the concept transfers as well to a comic which takes less than 5 minutes per strip to more or less internalize.
No, no, I definitely was replying to ratacattt. I have absolutely no issue with jmd. LET IT BE KNOWN. As far as your idea was concerned, ratacattt, I think I more or less get what you're getting at, but I am not sure the concept transfers as well to a comic which takes less than 5 minutes per strip to more or less internalize.
jmd
+0 -1
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded.
(marked lame by mcmahone, airza, Awko)
Oh now I see what's wrong
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded.
(marked lame by mcmahone, airza, Awko)
Oh now I see what's wrong
ratacattt
+0 -1
you avitar is squinting too much and missed that. hmmm.
In other news, mcmahone, airza, Awko is a fucking douchebag whore bitch cunt. damn. I hope I'm not a mysoginst for only having cuss words which are derogatory to the female gender.
you avitar is squinting too much and missed that. hmmm.
In other news, mcmahone, airza, Awko is a fucking douchebag whore bitch cunt. damn. I hope I'm not a mysoginst for only having cuss words which are derogatory to the female gender.
glade8tormel
+0 -0
it's the only gender that needs cussing at.
trust me,(glade8tormel) on this.
coming soon, the glade8tormel relationship help line...
it's the only gender that needs cussing at.
trust me,(glade8tormel) on this.
coming soon, the glade8tormel relationship help line...
drewvreeland
+0 -0
If I hadn't used up my lame allotment...
If I hadn't used up my lame allotment...
sherief
+0 -0
And just like that it seems it is over. The memories, however, may be a different story.
And just like that it seems it is over. The memories, however, may be a different story.
fineline179
+0 -0
Yo this is way too nostalgic. I don't mean to be hatin but seriously some animal's gotta die to save this thread from an untimely end
Kill Pete.
Yo this is way too nostalgic. I don't mean to be hatin but seriously some animal's gotta die to save this thread from an untimely end
Kill Pete.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
my bay-beeeees
my bay-beeeees
plummet
+0 -0
MISTER DONT YOU LAY A HAND ON MY BAYBEE ASSETBAR POSTERS
THEYS ALL SWIMMEN IN THEY OWN FECES
MISTER DONT YOU LAY A HAND ON MY BAYBEE ASSETBAR POSTERS
THEYS ALL SWIMMEN IN THEY OWN FECES
rumblefish
+0 -0
I've decided that Circus Penis hired Nice Pete and Nathan to finally bring Teodor's potential into full bloom.
No matter what direction this arc goes I will choose to interpret it in a way that supports my rock (hard cat cock) solid theory.
I've decided that Circus Penis hired Nice Pete and Nathan to finally bring Teodor's potential into full bloom.
No matter what direction this arc goes I will choose to interpret it in a way that supports my rock (hard cat cock) solid theory.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Circus and Pete are too similar.
Daaaaaamn.
(my iPod now has that in its predictive text library.)
Circus and Pete are too similar.
Daaaaaamn.
(my iPod now has that in its predictive text library.)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Have they ever been seen in the same room as each other...?
Have they ever been seen in the same room as each other...?
wazza
+2 -0
Yes, when Circus recorded Hot Cereal Killers 8
(the premise is that the oatmeal Circus is eating is too hot, and so they fuck)
Yes, when Circus recorded Hot Cereal Killers 8
(the premise is that the oatmeal Circus is eating is too hot, and so they fuck)
belgand
+1 -0
My standard cover for reunions is that I write the scripts for gay porn.
"Coming up with new reasons for two (or more) men to fuck is not as easy as you think it is."
Why is this considered less embarrassing in our culture than admitting you're unemployed in the middle of a massive spate of unemployment?
My standard cover for reunions is that I write the scripts for gay porn.
"Coming up with new reasons for two (or more) men to fuck is not as easy as you think it is."
Why is this considered less embarrassing in our culture than admitting you're unemployed in the middle of a massive spate of unemployment?
wazza
+0 -0
I think that most men don't really need a reason to have sex
when I think of a homosexual couple, I imagine that their primary pastimes all involve penises. It is logical.
I think that most men don't really need a reason to have sex
when I think of a homosexual couple, I imagine that their primary pastimes all involve penises. It is logical.
belgand
+0 -0
This is largely true.
I mean, how often have you ever woken up with a chubby and because it was there and she was there you had sex. Or, at least, you tried to have sex. Sometimes putting more effort into making it happen than you even really desire it yourself, just because... well, it's possible .
Sometimes erections feel like going to bathroom before a long trip in the car: you might not feel the need to do it, but it's a good idea to do it while you have the chance because you don't know when you'll be able to next.
This is largely true.
I mean, how often have you ever woken up with a chubby and because it was there and she was there you had sex. Or, at least, you tried to have sex. Sometimes putting more effort into making it happen than you even really desire it yourself, just because... well, it's possible .
Sometimes erections feel like going to bathroom before a long trip in the car: you might not feel the need to do it, but it's a good idea to do it while you have the chance because you don't know when you'll be able to next.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I used to call my old roomie's chihuaua "L'il Puppy Nom-Noms".
Chihuaua. Chinchilla.
SIMILAR SPELLINGS!!
I used to call my old roomie's chihuaua "L'il Puppy Nom-Noms".
Chihuaua. Chinchilla.
SIMILAR SPELLINGS!!
belgand
+0 -0
What about Xuahaca?
What about Xuahaca?
stereo
+0 -0
oaxaca?
oaxaca?
spazdor
+0 -0
Good place to get bad mezcal
Good place to get bad mezcal
motu
+0 -0
So is it over or will Pete break out the chainsaw when he sees the woman-like behavior going on?
So is it over or will Pete break out the chainsaw when he sees the woman-like behavior going on?
dusty
+0 -0
No, it's ok with him for a man to give another man('s dick) kisses.
No, it's ok with him for a man to give another man('s dick) kisses.
belgand
+0 -0
It was a dare. He had to do it.
It was a dare. He had to do it.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i was listening to austrailian radio when it interupted teh music to give a quick news update (as you do) and it was normal shit i just tuned out until "...who raped a woman and her boy friend. " first time ever heard sumthin lik dat hapnin
i was listening to austrailian radio when it interupted teh music to give a quick news update (as you do) and it was normal shit i just tuned out until "...who raped a woman and her boy friend. " first time ever heard sumthin lik dat hapnin
sonofkong
+0 -0
whoa, gladi8orrex is Australian? Whoop whoop.
Anyway, that story ends awfully, because the girl tries to escape, falls off her balcony and dies. No moral! The dude got 21 years in gaol today.
whoa, gladi8orrex is Australian? Whoop whoop.
Anyway, that story ends awfully, because the girl tries to escape, falls off her balcony and dies. No moral! The dude got 21 years in gaol today.
streever
+0 -0
No no he's not aussie, he just listens to the australian radio
No no he's not aussie, he just listens to the australian radio
ratacattt
+0 -0
why the fuck does a dude in New York listen to australian radios?
why the fuck does a dude in New York listen to australian radios?
wazza
+0 -0
it's like the police blotter, but with more bestiality.
it's like the police blotter, but with more bestiality.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Random words like "kangaroo" and "boomerang" and "Victoria Bitters" appearing with more frequency.
"Raped by a kangaroo hepped up on Victoria Bitters and a boomerang in its pouch" is a statistical outlier, broadcast-wise, but could happen.
Random words like "kangaroo" and "boomerang" and "Victoria Bitters" appearing with more frequency.
"Raped by a kangaroo hepped up on Victoria Bitters and a boomerang in its pouch" is a statistical outlier, broadcast-wise, but could happen.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Office Bruce P. Outback.
Office Bruce P. Outback.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i had a kind of dream about an austrailian national heroe who was named bruce. i wish i could remember what his claim to fame was, i bet it woulda been interesting
i had a kind of dream about an austrailian national heroe who was named bruce. i wish i could remember what his claim to fame was, i bet it woulda been interesting
glade8tormel
+0 -0
'tie me kangaroo down'
it was a 70's s&m furry hit in the states
'don't let him run around, loose, bruce,
tie me kangaroo down'
'tie me kangaroo down'
it was a 70's s&m furry hit in the states
'don't let him run around, loose, bruce,
tie me kangaroo down'
lemmy
+0 -0
don't let him run amok,chuck,
tie me kangaroo down
don't let him run amok,chuck,
tie me kangaroo down
wazza
+2 -0
Don't let him escape my dick, Rick,
tie me kangaroo down
Don't let him escape my dick, Rick,
tie me kangaroo down
justglad
+0 -0
EVERYBODY!
EVERYBODY!
catoblepas
+0 -0
Don't let him dodge my ejaculate, Pat
Tie me kangaroo down
Don't let him dodge my ejaculate, Pat
Tie me kangaroo down
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Don't let him fall off a balcony to his death in a frenzied attempt to escape my cock, Jacques,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Don't let him fall off a balcony to his death in a frenzied attempt to escape my cock, Jacques,
Tie me kangaroo down.
achtung
+0 -0
how you pronouncin ejaculate? :S
how you pronouncin ejaculate? :S
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
EE-Jack-Yu-lAt pAt
EE-Jack-Yu-lAt pAt
stereo
+0 -0
Don't let him get up and leave, Steve
tie my kangaroo down.
Don't let him get up and leave, Steve
tie my kangaroo down.
sonofkong
+1 -0
I'm proud that the mention of my land of birth results in such a reply.
I'm proud that the mention of my land of birth results in such a reply.
ratacattt
+0 -0
some Caribbean island should rename it's self to _Vaginaland_ man that would attract a certain category of tourists.
some Caribbean island should rename it's self to _Vaginaland_ man that would attract a certain category of tourists.
catoblepas
+1 -0
All standing around wondering where all the pussy is, but too embarrassed to ask the concierge what's going on.
All standing around wondering where all the pussy is, but too embarrassed to ask the concierge what's going on.
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
except one guy who's just like "WHERE ALLA PUSSY AT?!"
except one guy who's just like "WHERE ALLA PUSSY AT?!"
streever
+0 -0
vlad I thought we agreed that you wouldn't repeat that to anyone else. I thought we could keep this thing quiet.
vlad I thought we agreed that you wouldn't repeat that to anyone else. I thought we could keep this thing quiet.
fresco
+0 -0
BeLicious St. Coxx
BeLicious St. Coxx
belgand
+0 -0
Coming soon to The Perky Pervert: the Ejaculatte.
Coming soon to The Perky Pervert: the Ejaculatte.
wazza
+0 -0
Ooh la latte!
Ooh la latte!
hellofyellin
+0 -0
PLOOOOOOT MOOOOOVEMEEEEEEENT
PLOOOOOOT MOOOOOVEMEEEEEEENT
streever
+1 -0
I waited 6 days to find out if a comic bear was giving a blowjob in the back of a van, and all I got was this lousy comic.
I waited 6 days to find out if a comic bear was giving a blowjob in the back of a van, and all I got was this lousy comic.
streever
+1 -0
(Alternate comment: I waited three months to find out if tacodor was gonna die and all I got was a page of chinchilla gibberish)
(Alternate comment: I waited three months to find out if tacodor was gonna die and all I got was a page of chinchilla gibberish)
ratacattt
+0 -0
Teodar thought that Nice PEte was gonna kill him silly Teodar this is a children's comic don't he know
Teodar thought that Nice PEte was gonna kill him silly Teodar this is a children's comic don't he know
ratacattt
+1 -0
jean-paul
+0 -0
At this point it's quite obvious that once this arc is over Nice Pete needs to die at Teodor's hand.
At this point it's quite obvious that once this arc is over Nice Pete needs to die at Teodor's hand.
boheeka
+2 -0
I had this bizarre dream about achewood last night. I dreamt onstadt had concluded this arc with a strip so long it had to be released as a book. In it, Mr. Bear, Phillipe and someone else were revealed to all be the same person, a robot and later on Lyle built a car out of Phillipe.
I had this bizarre dream about achewood last night. I dreamt onstadt had concluded this arc with a strip so long it had to be released as a book. In it, Mr. Bear, Phillipe and someone else were revealed to all be the same person, a robot and later on Lyle built a car out of Phillipe.
joefalco
+0 -0
And it was called: The Great Outdoor High School Night.
And it was called: The Great Outdoor High School Night.
thinman
+0 -0
I never really considered it before, but a car built out of five year old otters would be the complete ish.
I'm calling up someone at BMW on my lunch break.
I never really considered it before, but a car built out of five year old otters would be the complete ish.
I'm calling up someone at BMW on my lunch break.
boheeka
+1 -0
I think Pete is impressed. Pete is so impressed that he'll go around to the back to let Darren out, only to find Darren going down on Nathan. Tomorrow he'll tell everyone at High School. Until the end of grades, whenever Darren walks by everyone will point at their dick and say, "I dare you."
Even the teachers.
I think Pete is impressed. Pete is so impressed that he'll go around to the back to let Darren out, only to find Darren going down on Nathan. Tomorrow he'll tell everyone at High School. Until the end of grades, whenever Darren walks by everyone will point at their dick and say, "I dare you."
Even the teachers.
wazza
+0 -0
Pete isn't his high school name
Pete isn't his high school name
boheeka
+1 -0
Pete is his slave name.
Pete is his slave name.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Quote:
1 Corinthians 3:15
Quote:
If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire
1 Corinthians 3:15
dusty
+0 -0
Ah, Grocho's quote from the 1944 original version of Pulp Fiction. Was replacing his flame thrower with a gun for Sam Jackson's portrayal of the character an improvement? That is a matter that could be endlessly debated.
Ah, Grocho's quote from the 1944 original version of Pulp Fiction. Was replacing his flame thrower with a gun for Sam Jackson's portrayal of the character an improvement? That is a matter that could be endlessly debated.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I didn't care for Harpo's role as the Gimp. The honking, the honking...
I didn't care for Harpo's role as the Gimp. The honking, the honking...
dusty
+0 -0
But you had to like Grace Kelly as the ex-boxer's girl, and who could forget Vincent Price as Vincent.
But you had to like Grace Kelly as the ex-boxer's girl, and who could forget Vincent Price as Vincent.
wazza
+1 -0
many felt that Orson Welles' cameo as Jimmie was largely self-serving.
many felt that Orson Welles' cameo as Jimmie was largely self-serving.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Jimmie Stewart being the originator of Captain Koons was a hard act to follow for Walken, that's for sure.
Quote:
Jimmie Stewart being the originator of Captain Koons was a hard act to follow for Walken, that's for sure.
Quote:
But the way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Well, I was with him at the very end...he started to hallucinate, thought he was taking to an angel or spirit...he'd say things like "Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Get me back! Get me back, I don't care what happens to me! Get me back to my wife and kids! Help me Clarence, please! Please! I wanna live again. I wanna live again. Please, God, let me live again."
Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
hoarday4
+0 -0
Nice Pete is going to mentor Teodor by using Nathan as an example.
Nice Pete is going to mentor Teodor by using Nathan as an example.
dusty
+0 -0
Really, being a good place to find interesting murder victims is all that's kept Denny's in business all these years.
Really, being a good place to find interesting murder victims is all that's kept Denny's in business all these years.
sustainability
+1 -0
Assetbaristas
Is it wrong that this strip makes me want to give Nice Pete's ear gentle nibbles
or do you agree that it is ok
Assetbaristas
Is it wrong that this strip makes me want to give Nice Pete's ear gentle nibbles
or do you agree that it is ok
catoblepas
+0 -0
I had heard that it was Assetbarbarians I mean I guess maybe that was a Thing at one time.
I had heard that it was Assetbarbarians I mean I guess maybe that was a Thing at one time.
wazza
+0 -0
it depends. Do you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women, or do you make coffee?
it depends. Do you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women, or do you make coffee?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I want to crush my enemies and then make their women coffee. I think they will find that sort of contradictory behaviour very intriguing. This plan is predicated on the idea that I want to sleep with the women of my enemies, but I think that can be pretty much taken as read.
I want to crush my enemies and then make their women coffee. I think they will find that sort of contradictory behaviour very intriguing. This plan is predicated on the idea that I want to sleep with the women of my enemies, but I think that can be pretty much taken as read.
wazza
+0 -0
what if they are like typical steppes women, with much body hair, smeared with goose grease for warmth?
what if they are like typical steppes women, with much body hair, smeared with goose grease for warmth?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
that a-typical steppe woman teh stypical steppe woamn is unafraid and hard working and wears fur for wealth in addition to her natural climatization. they are hideous by no stretchs of the imagination.
typically
that a-typical steppe woman teh stypical steppe woamn is unafraid and hard working and wears fur for wealth in addition to her natural climatization. they are hideous by no stretchs of the imagination.
typically
catoblepas
+0 -0
Glad knows the many beauties of the noble steppe woman, but he knows of some who are hideous. But most are a joy to experience.
Although perhaps you have to have a taste for goose grease to begin with.
Glad knows the many beauties of the noble steppe woman, but he knows of some who are hideous. But most are a joy to experience.
Although perhaps you have to have a taste for goose grease to begin with.
dusty
+0 -0
So nice Pete has adopted natures rule "kill or be killed" as his own.
So nice Pete has adopted natures rule "kill or be killed" as his own.
pigeon_street
+0 -0
I was just thinking that this arc looks like it's about to resolve itself, but then I had another thought: what if it never ends?
I was just thinking that this arc looks like it's about to resolve itself, but then I had another thought: what if it never ends?
jean-paul
+0 -0
Eventually high school ends for everyone.
One way or another...
Eventually high school ends for everyone.
One way or another...
bigtom
+0 -0
Is it just me or is anyone else reading the redneck people voices as Chef's parents from south park?
Is it just me or is anyone else reading the redneck people voices as Chef's parents from south park?
extortshorties
+0 -0
Definitely me too.
Definitely me too.
semi_retarded
+0 -0
.... This is very slowly becoming the longest story arc EVER....
.... This is very slowly becoming the longest story arc EVER....
deusoma
+0 -1
Which is unfortunate, really. I lost interest back at Denny's, I think. Anyone else get the impression that he's just making this up as he goes along?
Which is unfortunate, really. I lost interest back at Denny's, I think. Anyone else get the impression that he's just making this up as he goes along?
semi_retarded
+0 -0
I'm right there with you. This is like that ol' American/Iraq war, because we all lost interest when Bush was like "Mission Accomplished" (lookit that I turned a seemingly innocent (well not that innocent (extra parentheses)) comic into a politically charged/stupid comment (and how)))!
I'm right there with you. This is like that ol' American/Iraq war, because we all lost interest when Bush was like "Mission Accomplished" (lookit that I turned a seemingly innocent (well not that innocent (extra parentheses)) comic into a politically charged/stupid comment (and how)))!
ratacattt
+0 -0
the only way that hatin' on bush consititues a 'charged' comment is relative to some air head holding a charge that's a negative one bajillion stupid volts.
the only way that hatin' on bush consititues a 'charged' comment is relative to some air head holding a charge that's a negative one bajillion stupid volts.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
Welp, it's finally happened. i wasted afull goddamn day on the net without a) playing a game b) learnin' mucha nothin' c) expandin' on nothin' d) bein' productive w/e at all.
gonna stay up all night til sleep time the next day. ill lemme yall myself know wtf im even doing. gotta get to opson doggs. only matta a time.
Welp, it's finally happened. i wasted afull goddamn day on the net without a) playing a game b) learnin' mucha nothin' c) expandin' on nothin' d) bein' productive w/e at all.
gonna stay up all night til sleep time the next day. ill lemme yall myself know wtf im even doing. gotta get to opson doggs. only matta a time.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
this now my journal btw
this now my journal btw
qingofchina
+0 -1
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
Today is throwback day https://www.microsoft.com/typography/css/gallery/spec2.htm
qingofchina
+0 -0
assetbar!
assetbar!
sonofkong
+2 -0
Don't blame Assetbar, son. Assetbar can't fuck up this hard. This is all you.
Don't blame Assetbar, son. Assetbar can't fuck up this hard. This is all you.
dybrar
+3 -0
GUYS! COME QUICK! I FOUND THE SON OF A BITCH WHO POSTED A TON OF COMIC SANS LINKS!
GUYS! COME QUICK! I FOUND THE SON OF A BITCH WHO POSTED A TON OF COMIC SANS LINKS!
mockereo
+1 -0
i have never even heard the proper prefix for an 11-tuple post. you fucked up so bad I don't have terms for it.
i have never even heard the proper prefix for an 11-tuple post. you fucked up so bad I don't have terms for it.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
So that's what nom nom means.
So that's what nom nom means.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh shut up Onstad, the moist food line was funny.
Oh shut up Onstad, the moist food line was funny.
iwaslikebone_
+0 -0
Is it just me or does it look like the van is being threatened by a gigantic anteater in panels 1-3?
Is it just me or does it look like the van is being threatened by a gigantic anteater in panels 1-3?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Badger, perhaps.
Badger, perhaps.
gladi8orrex
+11 -0
Food review: The McDonalds Fillet-O-Fish
THE BASICS : the Fillet-o-fish is something of a tricky burger to describe. It is a square fish patty resting ontop of tangy tartar sauce and sandwiched between II buns. The Fish is breaded with a soft, peel-off-the-fish breading making for an easy bite. This is not a burger that is diffecult to handle.
Tartar sauce occasionally leaks out the back of the burger, this can lead to some unwanted spills but clean-up is a cinch as the globbules generally stick together, I wipe and you're done. Simple as dat.
THE FACTS : Sitting somewheres in the LXXXXIX-CCC cent range makes this burger a cheap and effective means of sating any size hunger. This small durable food item is served hot-warm in a box-type device like something out of a classic drive-in. Fans of nostalgia will also delight in it having fish within it, which some theorize are our genetic ancestors.
say [||||] represents your open hand, palm up, fingers out-stretched. Now say that { } represents a Fillet-o-Fish, the Fillet-O-Fish would rest exactly [( }] on your palm. (To give you some idea of the size of the food item.)
THE OPINION : The Fillet-O-Fish my number I favourite burger-snack from the McDonalds resteraunt. Namely for its soft bread-texture and unoffending breading on the fish itself, it makes for an eating sensation I wish to relieve everyday. Never overcooked, never undercooked, the Fillet-O-Fish has yet to disepoint in preparation (unlike their cow-burgers which I have undercooked and thrown away.)
For me the Fillet-O-Fish says II things: a)Simple, can't-fuck-this-up design, and b) Simple, affordable flavor and a great source of vitamin A.
^_^ smile
Food review: The McDonalds Fillet-O-Fish
THE BASICS : the Fillet-o-fish is something of a tricky burger to describe. It is a square fish patty resting ontop of tangy tartar sauce and sandwiched between II buns. The Fish is breaded with a soft, peel-off-the-fish breading making for an easy bite. This is not a burger that is diffecult to handle.
Tartar sauce occasionally leaks out the back of the burger, this can lead to some unwanted spills but clean-up is a cinch as the globbules generally stick together, I wipe and you're done. Simple as dat.
THE FACTS : Sitting somewheres in the LXXXXIX-CCC cent range makes this burger a cheap and effective means of sating any size hunger. This small durable food item is served hot-warm in a box-type device like something out of a classic drive-in. Fans of nostalgia will also delight in it having fish within it, which some theorize are our genetic ancestors.
say [||||] represents your open hand, palm up, fingers out-stretched. Now say that { } represents a Fillet-o-Fish, the Fillet-O-Fish would rest exactly [( }] on your palm. (To give you some idea of the size of the food item.)
THE OPINION : The Fillet-O-Fish my number I favourite burger-snack from the McDonalds resteraunt. Namely for its soft bread-texture and unoffending breading on the fish itself, it makes for an eating sensation I wish to relieve everyday. Never overcooked, never undercooked, the Fillet-O-Fish has yet to disepoint in preparation (unlike their cow-burgers which I have undercooked and thrown away.)
For me the Fillet-O-Fish says II things: a)Simple, can't-fuck-this-up design, and b) Simple, affordable flavor and a great source of vitamin A.
^_^ smile
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Best followed rapidly by a quart of Mountain Dew.
This cleanses the palate for the main course of real fish, gently grilled, with a light lemon/herbal sauce, and an unwooded chardonnay or semillon blanc.
Best followed rapidly by a quart of Mountain Dew.
This cleanses the palate for the main course of real fish, gently grilled, with a light lemon/herbal sauce, and an unwooded chardonnay or semillon blanc.
plummet
+0 -0
More Food Reviews please.
Review the McGangbang if possible.
It is a Double Cheeseburger w/ a McChicken inside
More Food Reviews please.
Review the McGangbang if possible.
It is a Double Cheeseburger w/ a McChicken inside
smallblackdog
+1 -0
The McSpitroast - a McChicken with two sausages inside.
The McSpitroast - a McChicken with two sausages inside.
ratacattt
+1 -0
gladi8orrex if I ever get the balls to write one day it will be you my inspiration
gladi8orrex if I ever get the balls to write one day it will be you my inspiration
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
I wanna tell u sumthin from the heart n if im speakin' outta turn lemme know, but... teh feeling is mutual.
I wanna tell u sumthin from the heart n if im speakin' outta turn lemme know, but... teh feeling is mutual.
ratacattt
+0 -0
*blush* awww man no man no you da man you got the commitment you got the vision man, that inspires me I just got the bipolars lots o energy and flashes of visions and voices but needs direction I admire that in you I see you work on your direction that's good more peoples should work on their directions more starting with me but I'm working on it man I ordered some books by albert ellis including his manifesto published by prometheus books man if you want some good books that is a good collection man prometheusbooks.com check 'em out on all sortsa subjects.
oak I wrote something here I will air it out on assetbar this is fresh from my brain cells only 2 minutes ago here it goes:
Quote:
Leisha was like "I have to go to work"
(we was chatting on facebooks)
and I was like "don't forget to wear pants"
and she was like "thanks"
and then I was thinking to myself, well, a funny thing to say would be "unless you're a stripper whore, then you should probably remember to not wear any pants"
although, she might take that in an insulting sort of way too I suppose
so then I realized I had just created a brilliant piece of comedy
because you know how the stereotypical nightmare is about being at work and suddenly realizing you forgot to wear any pants
well if you are a stripper whore, then the opposite typical nightmare would be that you are at work, but you forgot to leave your pants off. and everyone is looking at you and laughing. because you're a stripper whore. And wearing pants is of course ridiculous. Because you're a stripper and people can't see your cunt if you're wearing pants. Even if you leave out the panties the pants still fuck it up. see that's why it's so funny.
*blush* awww man no man no you da man you got the commitment you got the vision man, that inspires me I just got the bipolars lots o energy and flashes of visions and voices but needs direction I admire that in you I see you work on your direction that's good more peoples should work on their directions more starting with me but I'm working on it man I ordered some books by albert ellis including his manifesto published by prometheus books man if you want some good books that is a good collection man prometheusbooks.com check 'em out on all sortsa subjects.
oak I wrote something here I will air it out on assetbar this is fresh from my brain cells only 2 minutes ago here it goes:
Quote:
Leisha was like "I have to go to work"
(we was chatting on facebooks)
and I was like "don't forget to wear pants"
and she was like "thanks"
and then I was thinking to myself, well, a funny thing to say would be "unless you're a stripper whore, then you should probably remember to not wear any pants"
although, she might take that in an insulting sort of way too I suppose
so then I realized I had just created a brilliant piece of comedy
because you know how the stereotypical nightmare is about being at work and suddenly realizing you forgot to wear any pants
well if you are a stripper whore, then the opposite typical nightmare would be that you are at work, but you forgot to leave your pants off. and everyone is looking at you and laughing. because you're a stripper whore. And wearing pants is of course ridiculous. Because you're a stripper and people can't see your cunt if you're wearing pants. Even if you leave out the panties the pants still fuck it up. see that's why it's so funny.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Quote:
Gold, glad, pure gold.
Quote:
glad..it makes for an eating sensation I wish to relieve everyday
Gold, glad, pure gold.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'd chubbied it by "Fans of nostalgia will also delight in it having fish within it, which some theorize are our genetic ancestors."
And then I wanted to chubby it again.
I'd chubbied it by "Fans of nostalgia will also delight in it having fish within it, which some theorize are our genetic ancestors."
And then I wanted to chubby it again.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Creationists will not like this meal.
Creationists will not like this meal.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Creationists only like apples!
Creationists only like apples!
boneman
+0 -0
Bananas, actually.
Bananas, actually.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Here you would post that video. Here I would but I don't want to.
Here you would post that video. Here I would but I don't want to.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is saddest thing!
Is saddest thing!
motu
+0 -0
Dear Onstad,
Can we have an upbeat story arc next?
Sincerely,
-Motu-
P.S. Tell your mother I love her
Dear Onstad,
Can we have an upbeat story arc next?
Sincerely,
-Motu-
P.S. Tell your mother I love her
shishkabob
+0 -0
holy shit I had the craziest dream last night where I dreamt the next comic for Achewood. Basically it was like nothing in the last several comics had happened at all. Teodor and Phillipe were sitting at a bar serving drinks and they both had frikkin' badass 'staches and sunglasses. I can't remember anything else from my dream, but yeah it was weird.
holy shit I had the craziest dream last night where I dreamt the next comic for Achewood. Basically it was like nothing in the last several comics had happened at all. Teodor and Phillipe were sitting at a bar serving drinks and they both had frikkin' badass 'staches and sunglasses. I can't remember anything else from my dream, but yeah it was weird.
motu
+0 -0
Seeing P-dogg in a 'stache n' shades might make up for this attempted murder of an arc
Seeing P-dogg in a 'stache n' shades might make up for this attempted murder of an arc
allenphreak
+0 -0
Give it time, it'll be full-fledged murder soon :/
Give it time, it'll be full-fledged murder soon :/
motu
+0 -0
P.P.S. Fix the lames allotment so we can show our antilove properly
P.P.S. Fix the lames allotment so we can show our antilove properly
plummet
+0 -0
anti love is hate
anti love is hate
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Minilove is people!!!
Minilove is people!!!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
....shouldn't it be getting light out by now?
....shouldn't it be getting light out by now?
achtung
+0 -0
yeah i mean it's been a couple weeks since this started
yeah i mean it's been a couple weeks since this started
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It is secretly taking place in that weird bit of Alaska. You know the one I mean.
It is secretly taking place in that weird bit of Alaska. You know the one I mean.
wazza
+1 -0
all of it?
all of it?
neonfreon
+1 -0
is onstad posting this arc to encourage you to seek relief in the paid area?
is onstad posting this arc to encourage you to seek relief in the paid area?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Now wash your hands.
Now wash your hands.
grondak
+0 -0
According to Wikipedia: "Chinchillas do not bathe in water because the dense fur prevents air-drying, retaining moisture close to the skin, which can cause fungus growth or fur rot. A wet chinchilla must be dried immediately with towels and a no-heat hair dryer."
According to Wikipedia: "Chinchillas do not bathe in water because the dense fur prevents air-drying, retaining moisture close to the skin, which can cause fungus growth or fur rot. A wet chinchilla must be dried immediately with towels and a no-heat hair dryer."
wazza
+2 -0
that is ridiculous. What do they do when they get wet in the wild? Is there a Lesser Andes Hairdryer, all blowing air on them in exchange for being able to eat anything it finds in their fur?
that is ridiculous. What do they do when they get wet in the wild? Is there a Lesser Andes Hairdryer, all blowing air on them in exchange for being able to eat anything it finds in their fur?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Evolution is a beatiful thing.
Evolution is a beatiful thing.
stereo
+0 -0
They don't get wet in the wild.
A chinchilla's life is cold and lonesome.
They don't get wet in the wild.
A chinchilla's life is cold and lonesome.
fcannon
+0 -0
Yeah, they live on mountains at elevations where there's not any rain or snow, and they avoid bodies of water. They clean themselves by rubbing volcanic ash in their fur which pushes out any other particulates.
They evolved to a very, very specific climate; it makes them kind of a pain in the ass to keep as pets, you have to buy them special dust with the right silicates and whatnot for them to bathe, and their incredibly fine fur makes overheating an issue. That said, they're pretty entertaining; their acrobatics put mice and rabbits to shame, and they are pretty cute.
[/mysisterhasachinchilla]
Yeah, they live on mountains at elevations where there's not any rain or snow, and they avoid bodies of water. They clean themselves by rubbing volcanic ash in their fur which pushes out any other particulates.
They evolved to a very, very specific climate; it makes them kind of a pain in the ass to keep as pets, you have to buy them special dust with the right silicates and whatnot for them to bathe, and their incredibly fine fur makes overheating an issue. That said, they're pretty entertaining; their acrobatics put mice and rabbits to shame, and they are pretty cute.
[/mysisterhasachinchilla]
abstracttruth
+0 -0
yeah they do this weird dust bath thing
yeah they do this weird dust bath thing
dskim
+0 -0
What happened to the new tablet?
What happened to the new tablet?
adroitcelerity
+0 -0
Unrelated: I am disappointed this site doesn't sell Achewood mousepads anymore, now I have to get a non-Achewood related mousepad.
They dun goof'd
Unrelated: I am disappointed this site doesn't sell Achewood mousepads anymore, now I have to get a non-Achewood related mousepad.
They dun goof'd
aperson
+0 -0
A mouse pad? What an absurd item. Do you also crave Achewood themed antimacassars?
A mouse pad? What an absurd item. Do you also crave Achewood themed antimacassars?
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
i wish i could get keychains and drink-coasters and bracelets wit teh logos of my favorite shit on 'em.
that'd just send me over the moon
i wish i could get keychains and drink-coasters and bracelets wit teh logos of my favorite shit on 'em.
that'd just send me over the moon
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This quote from gladi8orrex made it a little clearer than normal one of the main driving ironies of his persona. It was the first time that this particular scholar of the man's art was aware of someone with one foot on the soap box.
This quote from gladi8orrex made it a little clearer than normal one of the main driving ironies of his persona. It was the first time that this particular scholar of the man's art was aware of someone with one foot on the soap box.
wazza
+0 -0
I think that Mr Bear could headline an excellent range of antimacassars, but would probably only do so on the condition that Lyle do the same for the doily range.
Payback's a bitch .
I think that Mr Bear could headline an excellent range of antimacassars, but would probably only do so on the condition that Lyle do the same for the doily range.
Payback's a bitch .
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Adroitcelerity has also bought a keyboard rest, and a wrist rest, and has a collection of novelty usb keys. He has one of those brushed vacuum flask coffee mugs with the lids. His work area has over four posters in it. He printed out a funny quote about 'real hackers' which he found on the internet, and has stuck it above his desk. He proudly displays the little statue of Gollum which he got with his 'collector's edition' of Lord of the Rings.
Adroitcelerity has also bought a keyboard rest, and a wrist rest, and has a collection of novelty usb keys. He has one of those brushed vacuum flask coffee mugs with the lids. His work area has over four posters in it. He printed out a funny quote about 'real hackers' which he found on the internet, and has stuck it above his desk. He proudly displays the little statue of Gollum which he got with his 'collector's edition' of Lord of the Rings.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
And he assiduously cultivates contacts on 'linked-in'.
And he assiduously cultivates contacts on 'linked-in'.
emeagher
+0 -0
randyleepublic
+0 -0
So, let me see if I have this straight: Cats are keeping chinchillas? Oh, they'd keep them all right. Right next to the kitchen! It's handier that way when those late-night recipe inventions jump into your head.
So, let me see if I have this straight: Cats are keeping chinchillas? Oh, they'd keep them all right. Right next to the kitchen! It's handier that way when those late-night recipe inventions jump into your head.
plummet
+0 -0
ASSET BAR I MISSED YOU T_T
Never leave me again
ASSET BAR I MISSED YOU T_T
Never leave me again
apparentlypants
+1 -0
according to wikipedia, Onstad needs to update more
according to wikipedia, Onstad needs to update more
edthehead
+1 -0
[[citation needed]]
[[citation needed]]
abstracttruth
+0 -0
this article, like this story arc, is a stub
this article, like this story arc, is a stub
streever
+2 -0
I've spent 18 days wondering if Teodor goes down on a cat. I feel like something must be missing from my life.
I've spent 18 days wondering if Teodor goes down on a cat. I feel like something must be missing from my life.
lateadopter
+0 -0
The answer?
The answer?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Suicide.
Suicide.
streever
+0 -0
when is that not the answer?
when is that not the answer?
wingspan
+2 -0
When the question is, "What is not the answer?"
When the question is, "What is not the answer?"
edthehead
+1 -0
New theory: He's stretching it out for a whole four months so as to create Achewood, or, the 120 Days of Cat Cock.
New theory: He's stretching it out for a whole four months so as to create Achewood, or, the 120 Days of Cat Cock.
plummet
+0 -0
Marquis De Onstad?
Marquis De Onstad?
plummet
+0 -1
OH FUCK I SPELLED HIS NAME CORRECTLY
OH FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK OH GOD
OH FUCK I SPELLED HIS NAME CORRECTLY
OH FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK OH GOD
plummet
+1 -0
deserved every inch of that lame for my transgression
deserved every inch of that lame for my transgression
streever
+0 -0
you got a lame for panicking :) I chubbied you for accepting the lame and relaxing.
you got a lame for panicking :) I chubbied you for accepting the lame and relaxing.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
are you a certified assetbar trainer?
are you a certified assetbar trainer?
plummet
+0 -0
Thanks, man.
Yeah, learning to chill never was my strong point. I'll explicitly pay attention to that now
Thanks, man.
Yeah, learning to chill never was my strong point. I'll explicitly pay attention to that now
abstracttruth
+0 -0
onstad do not show the dick...DO NOT JUMP THE SHARK
onstad do not show the dick...DO NOT JUMP THE SHARK
wazza
+0 -0
the dick has been shown
it's too late, man
though I think Achewood jumped the shark around the time Philippe was standing on it.
the dick has been shown
it's too late, man
though I think Achewood jumped the shark around the time Philippe was standing on it.
plummet
+0 -0
besides, dick has been shown in Achewood more than once
Gives a whole new meaning to ACHE WOOD
besides, dick has been shown in Achewood more than once
Gives a whole new meaning to ACHE WOOD
randombeing
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Onstad SHOW ANYTHING.
Onstad SHOW ANYTHING.
plummet
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be careful what you wish for
be careful what you wish for
hyperboleblues
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I just realized-- Teodore has shown some homosexual qualities in the past. He half-jokingly tried to cyber Vlad once. I seem to remember him getting a little turned on by Hiram the blacksmith. And not too long ago, he sported a do-rag and sunglasses-- coming thiiiiiiis close to banging Rod Huggins on the set of picnic panic. This is what I remember off the top of my head... how many more clues have there been?? I thought it was impossible, but, Teodore may actually be sucking a mean dick in the back of that van right now.
I just realized-- Teodore has shown some homosexual qualities in the past. He half-jokingly tried to cyber Vlad once. I seem to remember him getting a little turned on by Hiram the blacksmith. And not too long ago, he sported a do-rag and sunglasses-- coming thiiiiiiis close to banging Rod Huggins on the set of picnic panic. This is what I remember off the top of my head... how many more clues have there been?? I thought it was impossible, but, Teodore may actually be sucking a mean dick in the back of that van right now.
thegoblins
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Okay, I know that the speech patterns of the hills are supposed to be very related to Elizabethan English, but this is fucking redonkulous.
Okay, I know that the speech patterns of the hills are supposed to be very related to Elizabethan English, but this is fucking redonkulous.
Teodor seems to not appreciate the finer aspects of showing off amateur mayhem.
I suppose that's why he's single.
bitches love professional mayhem
No wonder so many people voted for Bush.
I don't think anyone has ever regarded Bush as particularly professional.
Maybe they didn't have too many men to compare to in their lives. Like how if you always eat store-brand ice cream that's 50% air, you don't know what real ice cream can taste like.
I didn't know that it's 50% air, but I do know that of the portion that isn't air, something like 90% is often high fructose corn syrup. Americans love that stuff.
All I know for sure is that the cheap ice cream is aerated to decrease the amount of ice cream they have to put in the container. And that they have to include a minimum amount of milk fat by percentage, like 10%.
Which is pretty crazy since whole milk is just above 3%. I guess they actually have to use cream. Or maybe they add back in the extracted milkfat from low-fat milks
D:
since cream is basically all milkfat, it makes sense for ice cream to have a minimum standard for it.
Ah damn, bitches just got owned with words.
cream is only milkfat if the ejaculate came from a cow DUH!
we are not talking about semen ratacattt
ratacattt is always talking about semen
WELCOME TO
SEMEN TIME
WHERE IT IS
ALWAYS TIME
FOR SEMEN
wat...i just got here...whats going on?
it is time for semen. Try to keep up.
...streever ejaculated earnestly.
OH MY GOD YOU GYSE TOUAMB IS DOWN IS NOT WORKING IS CRASHED
in other news I apologize if I haven't replied to anyone's post which may have merited a reply but I reloaded the page by accident last week and lost all the [unre ad] tags and I just gave up.
that's right to this whole fucking assetbar I say
TL;DR
TOUAMB down? Oh noes, now who will suck Asherdan's dick?
Teodor is busy.
your mom has a particularly professional bush.
You mean a merkin?
Vagina Wigs actually describes Teodor's mayhem game pretty accurately these days
Vagina Whigs would be an awesome name for a thrash-metal band. I'm going to get right on that.
But would the Vagina Whigs take the political stance of the American or English political party?
Whoa whoa whoa! I'm still designing the logo (oh boy! this is turning out good!)... get back to me on that in a few weeks.
it's not like... it's not like they're a political reenactment society or anything. They just wear the merkins.
I feel I should notify you before you do too much work that this might interfere with my existing band up in Saskatchewan, the Regina Whigs.
He was definitely going to be single if Nice Pete rolled him in his feces.
Now now.
We don't know the extent of the things Nathan is into.
Psst guys I heard Nathan was into humans pass it on
with ten inches, I'm sure there are humans who are happy to have him into them
Nice Pete's 1961 Ford Econoline delivery van is very happy to have Nathan inside him.
not for much longer if he treats Nathan right.
Life is a series of surprises, and would not be worth taking or keeping, if it were not. God delights to isolate us every day, and hide from us the past and the future. We would look about us, but with grand politeness he draws down before us an impenetrable screen of purest sky, and another behind us of purest sky. 'You will not remember,' he seems to say, 'and you will not expect.' All good conversation, manners, and action, come from a spontaneity which forgets usages, and makes the moment great. Nature hates calculators; her methods are saltatory and impulsive. Man lives by pulses; our organic movements are such; and the chemical and ethereal agents are undulatory and alternate; and the mind goes antagonizing on, and never prospers but by fits. We thrive by casualties. Our chief experiences have been casual.
That's just, like, your opinion .... man.
Ah, brevity.
dick cheney don't need no fuckin' pulse.
Fuck you man, I'm a meteorologist.
I bet everyone who studies to be a meteorologist is always slightly disappointed that it's not more about flaming rocks falling from the sky.
My career advisor told me it was vulcanology, but what would he know? (He wore a caftan and socks with sandalls.)