saulbellow
+2 -0
I. Love. This. Strip.
I. Love. This. Strip.
riazm
+0 -0
Saul Bellow! Nice work with those books, by the way.
Saul Bellow! Nice work with those books, by the way.
saulbellow
+1 -0
Thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you.
Thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you.
retinarow
+0 -0
What? Yes you are. Augie March was like a bajillion pages long.
What? Yes you are. Augie March was like a bajillion pages long.
falseprophet
+0 -0
And it blew ass.
And it blew ass.
riazm
+0 -0
LITERATURE FIGHT.
I liked it.
LITERATURE FIGHT.
I liked it.
falseprophet
+17 -1
I read it in a week for a American lit class in college. People told me that the reason I didn't enjoy it was that I rushed through it for the necessary reason described above, even though they were only saying this because they really liked the Professor and were convinced that his ramblings gave his class character, and had not read the book.
But for me, the story went like this:
"Hey what's up. I'm a dude named Augie March. I don't know what I want out of life but I get lots of cool experiences mainly because I am handsome. Apparently, I'm Jewish because the guy who wrote my book is Jewish, even though that never comes up anywhere in the freaking book. If you need the kind of Judaism that is spelled out for you , read Malamud.
"There's a bunch of interesting characters, but I can't really spend time with them. You're stuck with me and my bland descriptions of my interactions with them. Anyone of them could be a much more interesting narrator for a novel but I'm more important because I cover so much ground.
"Check it. I totally bone a bunch of boring, overly submissive female characters but it's important because it's the fifties and I guess this has never happened in a novel before. I don't know I didn't really look. There's a few interesting women like the chick who has a baby out of wedlock by some other dude and I help take care of her but I got 200 more pages to fill and I can't be held down with a plot so I got rid of her.
"I think I stole books for a while. It makes me a rebel but with a dash of likeable hipsterism . I will inspire a generation of dudes to wear glasses without frames. And scarves. Lots of scarves. They will think they can get laid this way.
"I go to Mexico with this other chick and become a falconer, but I suck at it so I go back home to Chicago.
"Oh shit World War II started. I guess I want to fight or something. That's what everyone wanted to do during my generation right? My ambivalence which comes more from a lack of describing what I'm thinking than what I am actually thinking makes me so compelling.
"I marry some other random chick. The End."
Fuck that guy.
I read it in a week for a American lit class in college. People told me that the reason I didn't enjoy it was that I rushed through it for the necessary reason described above, even though they were only saying this because they really liked the Professor and were convinced that his ramblings gave his class character, and had not read the book.
But for me, the story went like this:
"Hey what's up. I'm a dude named Augie March. I don't know what I want out of life but I get lots of cool experiences mainly because I am handsome. Apparently, I'm Jewish because the guy who wrote my book is Jewish, even though that never comes up anywhere in the freaking book. If you need the kind of Judaism that is spelled out for you , read Malamud.
"There's a bunch of interesting characters, but I can't really spend time with them. You're stuck with me and my bland descriptions of my interactions with them. Anyone of them could be a much more interesting narrator for a novel but I'm more important because I cover so much ground.
"Check it. I totally bone a bunch of boring, overly submissive female characters but it's important because it's the fifties and I guess this has never happened in a novel before. I don't know I didn't really look. There's a few interesting women like the chick who has a baby out of wedlock by some other dude and I help take care of her but I got 200 more pages to fill and I can't be held down with a plot so I got rid of her.
"I think I stole books for a while. It makes me a rebel but with a dash of likeable hipsterism . I will inspire a generation of dudes to wear glasses without frames. And scarves. Lots of scarves. They will think they can get laid this way.
"I go to Mexico with this other chick and become a falconer, but I suck at it so I go back home to Chicago.
"Oh shit World War II started. I guess I want to fight or something. That's what everyone wanted to do during my generation right? My ambivalence which comes more from a lack of describing what I'm thinking than what I am actually thinking makes me so compelling.
"I marry some other random chick. The End."
Fuck that guy.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It's the fifties... and then World War II starts? I knew I should have done history at GCSE.
It's the fifties... and then World War II starts? I knew I should have done history at GCSE.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I may have explained it out of order. It was published in 1953 but it spans several boring years before that.
I may have explained it out of order. It was published in 1953 but it spans several boring years before that.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, okay. My bad.
Oh, okay. My bad.
gyrate
+0 -0
Well they hadn't done it right the first time.
Well they hadn't done it right the first time.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
World War II 2: Electric Boogaloo
World War II 2: Electric Boogaloo
bixschmix
+0 -0
Mussolini's break-spin at the end was tiiiiight
Mussolini's break-spin at the end was tiiiiight
iseedeadpixels
+0 -1
Vatican 2: Electric Boogaloo
Vatican 2: Electric Boogaloo
expellens
+0 -0
That is hell of Cliff's Notes for Augie March . I'm glad I gave up after the first 80 pages.
You are a scholar and a gentleman, sir.
That is hell of Cliff's Notes for Augie March . I'm glad I gave up after the first 80 pages.
You are a scholar and a gentleman, sir.
daidai
+0 -0
IMPOSTER
(nah i believe you...bro)
IMPOSTER
(nah i believe you...bro)
contrasoma
+1 -0
The best bard quotations are the ones you can slide into casual conversation without anyone noticing.
The best bard quotations are the ones you can slide into casual conversation without anyone noticing.
saulbellow
+0 -0
ding ding ding
ding ding ding
spinynorman
+78 -1
One time my friend got pretty blazed and drunk and we were standing outside a house and few people came out and started a campfire. My friend began cheering them on by shouting things like "FUCK YEAH! FIRE!" and "BURN THAT SHIT!" and "SET THAT SHIT ON FIRE!" When I told him he was being kind of an ass he turned to them and said, semi-obnoxiously, "Hey, man, sorry for partying," as though to say, "Just because you're not partying means that I have to put my completely great partying on low heat? That is mega bullshit, but whatev, chief."
Ever since the phrase "Sorry for partying" has become an arbitrary expression of moral and drunken superiority among my pals. If you do something crazy like shit on a put bill, well, "Sorry for partying," and you are completely in the right. Vomit pants buttons all over a passed out cheerleader at a baby shower? Sorry for partying. Snort a line of organic honey and get three chicks and a dude pregnant? Sorry for partying. Slam some weed in some everclear and pound some hoot juice and wind up freezing up the Jumotron at a Knicks game? Sorry for partying.
One time my friend got pretty blazed and drunk and we were standing outside a house and few people came out and started a campfire. My friend began cheering them on by shouting things like "FUCK YEAH! FIRE!" and "BURN THAT SHIT!" and "SET THAT SHIT ON FIRE!" When I told him he was being kind of an ass he turned to them and said, semi-obnoxiously, "Hey, man, sorry for partying," as though to say, "Just because you're not partying means that I have to put my completely great partying on low heat? That is mega bullshit, but whatev, chief."
Ever since the phrase "Sorry for partying" has become an arbitrary expression of moral and drunken superiority among my pals. If you do something crazy like shit on a put bill, well, "Sorry for partying," and you are completely in the right. Vomit pants buttons all over a passed out cheerleader at a baby shower? Sorry for partying. Snort a line of organic honey and get three chicks and a dude pregnant? Sorry for partying. Slam some weed in some everclear and pound some hoot juice and wind up freezing up the Jumotron at a Knicks game? Sorry for partying.
quaga
+0 -0
This is now my new favorite excuse.
This is now my new favorite excuse.
desert_donkey
+1 -0
rad.
but i no longer apologize for partying. people know me, if they want me around then you get what you pay for.
NOT sorry for partying.
rad.
but i no longer apologize for partying. people know me, if they want me around then you get what you pay for.
NOT sorry for partying.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Man, I missed it when you would spurn out several of these anecdotes per strip posted.
Though, if you hang around 'Party Boy' long enough, he is later joined by his more reasonable pals 'Johnny Remorse' and our old pal 'The Hangover Hog'. Then he is yours.
Man, I missed it when you would spurn out several of these anecdotes per strip posted.
Though, if you hang around 'Party Boy' long enough, he is later joined by his more reasonable pals 'Johnny Remorse' and our old pal 'The Hangover Hog'. Then he is yours.
spinynorman
+3 -0
I bet drunken anecdotes would get really obnoxious if I just did not stop telling them. I'd be like that prick at the party who always has to one up every story anyone else tells. Just constantly. bringing the conversation back to the subject of himself. Except in this case I'd be trying to upstage Chris Onstad and the internet.
I bet drunken anecdotes would get really obnoxious if I just did not stop telling them. I'd be like that prick at the party who always has to one up every story anyone else tells. Just constantly. bringing the conversation back to the subject of himself. Except in this case I'd be trying to upstage Chris Onstad and the internet.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
I think we go to the same parties.
[the guy you describe] "Right on. DUDE.. one time i took FIFTY HITS OF ACID. Blah blah blah blah.. " so forth.
I think we go to the same parties.
[the guy you describe] "Right on. DUDE.. one time i took FIFTY HITS OF ACID. Blah blah blah blah.. " so forth.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Maybe that guy goes to a lot of parties. You never know.
Maybe that guy goes to a lot of parties. You never know.
riazm
+5 -0
You do know, because he will tell you.
You do know, because he will tell you.
tekende
+0 -0
And he will not apologize for partying.
And he will not apologize for partying.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Like I told you, I apologize for nothing
Like I told you, I apologize for nothing
lexsenthur
+1 -0
While explaining he doesn't want to post too many humorous drunken anecdotes, spinynorman inadvertently posts a humorous drunken anecdote.
While explaining he doesn't want to post too many humorous drunken anecdotes, spinynorman inadvertently posts a humorous drunken anecdote.
spinynorman
+0 -0
my god, what am I
my god, what am I
lexsenthur
+2 -0
A beautiful animal. A glorious new god.
A beautiful animal. A glorious new god.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have a little shrine.
At least that what I call it... "my little shrine".
Wow. That... that was weird.
I have a little shrine.
At least that what I call it... "my little shrine".
Wow. That... that was weird.
sje46
+0 -0
Is this a wizard people reference?
Is this a wizard people reference?
sje46
+0 -0
After watching it, yes it is.
Chubby.
After watching it, yes it is.
Chubby.
gormster
+0 -0
the thing is, I hear all of these stories in Stephen fry's voice. And that makes them awesome.
the thing is, I hear all of these stories in Stephen fry's voice. And that makes them awesome.
thegoblins
+0 -0
"Put bill" almost made me do a cartoon-style double take.
"Put bill" almost made me do a cartoon-style double take.
dooder
+0 -0
Was that a typo for "pit bull," or have I led a more sheltered life than I thought I had?
Was that a typo for "pit bull," or have I led a more sheltered life than I thought I had?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I think it's an intentional typo. The idea of shitting on a pit bull is intrinsically somewhat absurd, and the typo draws attention to it.
I think it's an intentional typo. The idea of shitting on a pit bull is intrinsically somewhat absurd, and the typo draws attention to it.
stereo
+0 -0
Ohhhh, I thought the typo was "put shit on a bill".
Ohhhh, I thought the typo was "put shit on a bill".
octafish
+8 -0
Listen Congressman, no-one is going to pass that Bill if you dump on it! Sorry for Partying!
Listen Congressman, no-one is going to pass that Bill if you dump on it! Sorry for Partying!
lexsenthur
+0 -0
I read it "shit on a pitbull"
Sorry for partying, dogg!
I read it "shit on a pitbull"
Sorry for partying, dogg!
spinynorman
+0 -0
It was "shit on a pit bull." I swear to god I edited that.
Man, I just shit these fuckers out as they come to me
It was "shit on a pit bull." I swear to god I edited that.
Man, I just shit these fuckers out as they come to me
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
Well, keep eating those Frosted Mini Wheats then. Your shit, as compared to the average shit of an average man, is about a million percent in quality.
By which I mean your stories.
Well, keep eating those Frosted Mini Wheats then. Your shit, as compared to the average shit of an average man, is about a million percent in quality.
By which I mean your stories.
westacular
+0 -0
I think shitting on a pit bull is one of those situations where no apology is ever necessary: once the dust has settled, everyone (particularly the dog) will know exactly how sorry you are.
I think shitting on a pit bull is one of those situations where no apology is ever necessary: once the dust has settled, everyone (particularly the dog) will know exactly how sorry you are.
waldo913
+5 -0
SCREW YOU for writing the greatest thing ever written anywhere. FUCK YOU.
SCREW YOU for writing the greatest thing ever written anywhere. FUCK YOU.
likeiwassaying
+2 -0
Ray most assuredly says this thing!
Ray most assuredly says this thing!
tucky
+0 -0
wicked mountain goats avatar.
wicked mountain goats avatar.
bixschmix
+0 -0
John Darnielle makes my heart go pitter-patter.
John Darnielle makes my heart go pitter-patter.
waddlerz
+0 -0
Yeah, we doin' this
Yeah, we doin' this
c_dizzle
+0 -0
Honestly, spinynorman; I will pay in advance for your yet-to-be-published book of anecdotes.
Honestly, spinynorman; I will pay in advance for your yet-to-be-published book of anecdotes.
spinynorman
+0 -0
eh, unless this deal falls through, it ain't gonna be anecdotes
eh, unless this deal falls through, it ain't gonna be anecdotes
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Deal? What? Who? Teeeeell us.
My little shrine needs to know.
Deal? What? Who? Teeeeell us.
My little shrine needs to know.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Eh, I got a magical realist/literary fantasy/what-the-fuck-ever coming out next December.
Eh, I got a magical realist/literary fantasy/what-the-fuck-ever coming out next December.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Eh?! Eh?!! Don't you speak to a failed writer about your own book deal in such a manner!
That's awesome sunshine, you must be god damn excited despite the "Eh". You'll have to keep us all in the loop about when and how and where.
Eh?! Eh?!! Don't you speak to a failed writer about your own book deal in such a manner!
That's awesome sunshine, you must be god damn excited despite the "Eh". You'll have to keep us all in the loop about when and how and where.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yeah, I don't want to turn this forum into a bulletin board for my own ventures. But I will. It still feels outrageously weird to talk about it. Like when someone asks what I do for a living I can now say, "I'm a writer," which believe it or not I find terribly embarrassing and awkward, because now I have to talk about something I care very much about, and I lack the social or mental machinery to do that. Maybe I got hella depression.
Yeah, I don't want to turn this forum into a bulletin board for my own ventures. But I will. It still feels outrageously weird to talk about it. Like when someone asks what I do for a living I can now say, "I'm a writer," which believe it or not I find terribly embarrassing and awkward, because now I have to talk about something I care very much about, and I lack the social or mental machinery to do that. Maybe I got hella depression.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
A bonus, in your field.
A bonus, in your field.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Any further updates?? As far as the awkward and embarrassing goes, you could probably reframe it as a enjoyable rush that will in turn sort out your self-confidence. That awkward and embarrassing feeling is the emotion you get from being exposed as something Great. Try and enjoy the rush.
Any further updates?? As far as the awkward and embarrassing goes, you could probably reframe it as a enjoyable rush that will in turn sort out your self-confidence. That awkward and embarrassing feeling is the emotion you get from being exposed as something Great. Try and enjoy the rush.
hawaiian_robot
+0 -0
It's so good imagining Stephen Fry reading this out.
It's so good imagining Stephen Fry reading this out.
atticusonline
+0 -0
You are...the king of story telling. Why have you not your own comic strip, sir?
You are...the king of story telling. Why have you not your own comic strip, sir?
thegoodwillgirl
+13 -0
In my tattoo, the ICP is actually the last topping on a loaded baked potato, but the idea is basically the same.
In my tattoo, the ICP is actually the last topping on a loaded baked potato, but the idea is basically the same.
bobodante
+0 -0
Agreed, that twisted image of ICP in a tomato plummeting over the Falls just made me laugh after a horrible day. Thanks, Chris.
Agreed, that twisted image of ICP in a tomato plummeting over the Falls just made me laugh after a horrible day. Thanks, Chris.
phy
+9 -1
A tomato provides minimal crash protection at best. For the human race at large, this is possibly the best place for Insane Clown Posse to be, since it's prohibitively expensive to launch them into the sun.
A tomato provides minimal crash protection at best. For the human race at large, this is possibly the best place for Insane Clown Posse to be, since it's prohibitively expensive to launch them into the sun.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Not to mention they would be anticlimactically frizzled up long before they even got close to the sun.
Not to mention they would be anticlimactically frizzled up long before they even got close to the sun.
irondave
+0 -0
Prohibitively expensive, FOR NOW.
Prohibitively expensive, FOR NOW.
kickstart
+2 -0
bands with makeup, produce.... I'm beginning to sense a pattern here
bands with makeup, produce.... I'm beginning to sense a pattern here
usversusthem
+0 -0
Next week, on Achewood! Greeley Estates get smashed by pumpkins!
Next week, on Achewood! Greeley Estates get smashed by pumpkins!
prettyrad
+0 -0
Since someone actually drew out the KISS one, I'm REALLY hoping that someone will draw the ICP one...
I'm wondering if Onstad caught on, and made Beef's description of the tattoo as obscure and specific as possible, just so that he could see the results... I like this man.
Since someone actually drew out the KISS one, I'm REALLY hoping that someone will draw the ICP one...
I'm wondering if Onstad caught on, and made Beef's description of the tattoo as obscure and specific as possible, just so that he could see the results... I like this man.
thegoodwillgirl
+6 -1
[IMGS OFF]
?
[IMGS OFF]
?
sje46
+0 -0
Yes. This is awesome because you illustrated what Beef said. Therefor I give you a chubby.
(That wasn't sarcastic).
Yes. This is awesome because you illustrated what Beef said. Therefor I give you a chubby.
(That wasn't sarcastic).
prettyrad
+0 -0
I chubbied this so hard, although it looks like you have not actually heard of Insane Clown Posse. I am sure Onstad approves too.
I chubbied this so hard, although it looks like you have not actually heard of Insane Clown Posse. I am sure Onstad approves too.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Oh, I have heard of them. I think they are ridiculous, so I depicted them as such.
Oh, I have heard of them. I think they are ridiculous, so I depicted them as such.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
I got an ICP sticker for free from a friend of mine that worked in some kind of music store shack once.
Another friend of mine that works in a place that sells shacks stuck it on his car before he sold it and the buyer was all "mmmmmmmmmmmmMMMM CLOWNS" before he purchased it.
THEN MY FRIEND GOT MONEY
FORF THE CAR
MONEY FOR THE CAR!
[IMGS OFF]
I got an ICP sticker for free from a friend of mine that worked in some kind of music store shack once.
Another friend of mine that works in a place that sells shacks stuck it on his car before he sold it and the buyer was all "mmmmmmmmmmmmMMMM CLOWNS" before he purchased it.
THEN MY FRIEND GOT MONEY
FORF THE CAR
MONEY FOR THE CAR!
[IMGS OFF]
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
AND THEN THAT CAR
WENT OVER NIAGRA FALLS
...in a tomato?
AND THEN THAT CAR
WENT OVER NIAGRA FALLS
...in a tomato?
jonmw
+0 -0
I just got an awesome idea. What if you used spcial ink to get a tattoo - so that it changes colour with temperature!
Think of the applications
Just rub your arm vigorously and the tattoo MYSTEEEERIOUSLY changes!
I just got an awesome idea. What if you used spcial ink to get a tattoo - so that it changes colour with temperature!
Think of the applications
Just rub your arm vigorously and the tattoo MYSTEEEERIOUSLY changes!
stereo
+1 -0
You could have the words "too hot" appear on you... mysteriously!
You could have the words "too hot" appear on you... mysteriously!
quaga
+5 -0
and then a little later it's replaced with "Seriously, man. It is far to warm in here. Can somebody turn on the AC?"
and then a little later it's replaced with "Seriously, man. It is far to warm in here. Can somebody turn on the AC?"
daidai
+0 -0
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mystkmanat, clembot, Darthemed)
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mystkmanat, clembot, Darthemed)
clembot
+0 -0
A comment left by clembot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Spoon, DukieShane)
A comment left by clembot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Spoon, DukieShane)
daidai
+2 -0
Oh no my secret is out :(
Oh no my secret is out :(
daidai
+4 -0
dammitfuck i should have said sorry for partying
dammitfuck i should have said sorry for partying
catgrl131
+0 -0
It's okay, I'll set you up
*Ahem* That is highly inappropriate!
It's okay, I'll set you up
*Ahem* That is highly inappropriate!
hamscout
+1 -0
First Post!
ohh...cockshitfuckpiss
First Post!
ohh...cockshitfuckpiss
hbaranov
+0 -0
What news from the north, cockshitfuckpiss?
What news from the north, cockshitfuckpiss?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
What? Man, that doesn't... go .
What? Man, that doesn't... go .
pogo
+1 -0
Well excuse me for partying. (Did I get that right?)
Well excuse me for partying. (Did I get that right?)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Were you the scaliwag who defecated into my best top hat?
Well excuse one for partying!
Were you the scaliwag who defecated into my best top hat?
Well excuse one for partying!
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I am laughing so hard at this that my boyfriend is going "What is so funny? WHAT IS SO FUNNY? "
I am literally having one of the longest laughing fits I have had in a long time.
I can't even look up at it again, I will laugh so hard that I will squirt milk out of my nose, even though I am drinking Vanilla Coke!!
I am laughing so hard at this that my boyfriend is going "What is so funny? WHAT IS SO FUNNY? "
I am literally having one of the longest laughing fits I have had in a long time.
I can't even look up at it again, I will laugh so hard that I will squirt milk out of my nose, even though I am drinking Vanilla Coke!!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Your boyfriend is becoming jealous of the internet !
Your boyfriend is becoming jealous of the internet !
professorhazard
+1 -0
He should be holding a "GO TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO" card.
He should be holding a "GO TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO" card.
westacular
+0 -0
DO NOT COLLECT $200 FOR PASSING GO.
DO NOT COLLECT $200 FOR PASSING GO.
invidious
+0 -0
He should be holding the card that says "You have won second prize in a beauty contest! Collect $10."
He should be holding the card that says "You have won second prize in a beauty contest! Collect $10."
stereo
+0 -0
Your great-uncle dies! Inherit $3.
Your great-uncle dies! Inherit $3.
kickstart
+0 -0
take a ride on theReading Motor-boating Railroad
take a ride on the
pogo
+0 -0
One problem, not all tits meet up nicely. Sometimes you can drive a truck between them.
One problem, not all tits meet up nicely. Sometimes you can drive a truck between them.
hbaranov
+0 -0
So if she does not meet the spec, he should simply discard and attend another party?
So if she does not meet the spec, he should simply discard and attend another party?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You can, but probably shouldn't.
You can, but probably shouldn't.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
"One problem, not all tits meet up nicely. Sometimes you can drive a truck between them."
pogo has lost many wives this way.
"One problem, not all tits meet up nicely. Sometimes you can drive a truck between them."
pogo has lost many wives this way.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Just 3. Don't exaggerate.
Just 3. Don't exaggerate.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You're my wife now Dave!
You're my wife now Dave!
irondave
+0 -0
I beg your pardon?
I beg your pardon?
margargaret
+0 -0
Fucking hate that skit.
Fucking hate that skit.
irondave
+0 -0
It's a skit? Oh, thank goodness.
It's a skit? Oh, thank goodness.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
"SURPRISE! SHE'S SEVENTEEN!*"
*gotcha
"SURPRISE! SHE'S SEVENTEEN!*"
*gotcha
gormster
+1 -0
Oh, Gotcha the clown. We love you.
Oh, Gotcha the clown. We love you.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
The label on Newkie Brown change colour when is at the right temperature. This is pretty fascinating for a drunk person.
The label on Newkie Brown change colour when is at the right temperature. This is pretty fascinating for a drunk person.
buffalobutt
+0 -0
rub your... arm??
rub your... arm??
sje46
+0 -0
May I ask where you got that effect for your avatar? I see it around a lot, but I can't find the website. Thanks.
May I ask where you got that effect for your avatar? I see it around a lot, but I can't find the website. Thanks.
cleanfatback
+0 -0
it is a silly thing to like. don't like it. it is from "photobooth," an application on the macintosh that allows you to take pictures of yourself using the camera that is on said macintosh.
it is a silly thing to like. don't like it. it is from "photobooth," an application on the macintosh that allows you to take pictures of yourself using the camera that is on said macintosh.
sje46
+0 -0
Thanks for answering, but I don't have a mac. Is there a way that I can make any picture look like this without it? Perhaps with a website?
Thanks for answering, but I don't have a mac. Is there a way that I can make any picture look like this without it? Perhaps with a website?
usversusthem
+3 -0
Perhaps you have heard of... [url=https://www.google.com/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=%22i am seriously not impressed with your internet acumen%22&btnG=Google Search]Photoshop[/url]?
Perhaps you have heard of... [url=https://www.google.com/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=%22i am seriously not impressed with your internet acumen%22&btnG=Google Search]Photoshop[/url]?
usversusthem
+0 -0
(Folks this is what happens when you get cocky on Assetbar. Let my failures be a lesson to you all.)
(Folks this is what happens when you get cocky on Assetbar. Let my failures be a lesson to you all.)
featurelessvoid
+4 -0
You just got self-served.
Hoisted by your own petard.
Autopwned.
You just got self-served.
Hoisted by your own petard.
Autopwned.
gormster
+0 -0
Autopwned.
Autopwned.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i will chubby this because the massive Fail therein is just too funny.
i will chubby this because the massive Fail therein is just too funny.
hamscout
+0 -0
seconded!
seconded!
shessosquare
+2 -0
I don't think potatoes are considered "juggalo food"
I don't think potatoes are considered "juggalo food"
talbain
+1 -0
Has to be Faygo and convenience store hot dogs.
Has to be Faygo and convenience store hot dogs.
phy
+1 -1
I was thinking more along the lines of "the curb" or "justice" but I guess those work too.
I was thinking more along the lines of "the curb" or "justice" but I guess those work too.
quaga
+1 -0
FACT: Juggalo blood consists of 90% Faygo
FACT: Juggalo blood consists of 90% Faygo
theboneorchard
+0 -0
I have have had this talk. Now I have a three year old.
I have have had this talk. Now I have a three year old.
pogo
+0 -0
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by quaga, gussiejives, TheBoneOrchard, Redface, asobi)
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by quaga, gussiejives, TheBoneOrchard, Redface, asobi)
jar
+1 -0
Seems likes Molly's starting to cave in to her Mom's expectation that she have at least 30 children.
Seems likes Molly's starting to cave in to her Mom's expectation that she have at least 30 children.
higuma
+4 -0
I hope this doesn't turn into a strip that is constantly about a baby.
I hope this doesn't turn into a strip that is constantly about a baby.
invidious
+0 -0
"Doocewood"
Fuckin' shoot me in the face right now if that's going to happen.
"Doocewood"
Fuckin' shoot me in the face right now if that's going to happen.
pogo
+0 -0
Cue Cheney. *click*
Cue Cheney. *click*
freagul
+0 -0
A comment left by freagul was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CatJumpJohn, flazisismuss, lateadopter, achilleselbow, echidnaboy, tragicone, aperson)
A comment left by freagul was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CatJumpJohn, flazisismuss, lateadopter, achilleselbow, echidnaboy, tragicone, aperson)
freagul
+0 -0
A comment left by freagul was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lonis, hbaranov, tragicone, aperson)
A comment left by freagul was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lonis, hbaranov, tragicone, aperson)
pogo
+0 -0
This process will continue until your post is so far from the top, people will lame you in passing. The lesson: Never comment on placement.
This process will continue until your post is so far from the top, people will lame you in passing. The lesson: Never comment on placement.
talbain
+0 -0
Unless you're certain you're first.
But getting firsties here is a death wish (if by 'death' you mean 'lame')
Unless you're certain you're first.
But getting firsties here is a death wish (if by 'death' you mean 'lame')
aki
+0 -0
I don't think The Allegory of the Cave has been put forth in a funnier, more contemporary way, an' I've done me some philosophy.
I don't think The Allegory of the Cave has been put forth in a funnier, more contemporary way, an' I've done me some philosophy.
pogo
+0 -0
Ain't it great that even in this age of th' Innernet, people still know about Plato's cave?
Ain't it great that even in this age of th' Innernet, people still know about Plato's cave?
sje46
+0 -0
Even if people don't, there is still Wikipedia to look it up.
But I knew about plato's cave since i was 16?
Even if people don't, there is still Wikipedia to look it up.
But I knew about plato's cave since i was 16?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I've been there!
But haven't we all?
I've been there!
But haven't we all?
gyrate
+0 -0
I haven't. I want to go to Plato's caaaaaaave! I think I have to go to Plato's caaaaaaaave!
My life is special!
I haven't. I want to go to Plato's caaaaaaave! I think I have to go to Plato's caaaaaaaave!
My life is special!
mrclarinet
+0 -0
A comment left by mrclarinet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, cdumas, clembot)
A comment left by mrclarinet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, cdumas, clembot)
achilleselbow
+1 -0
And, um, what have your examinations of said belief revealed to the contrary?
And, um, what have your examinations of said belief revealed to the contrary?
mrclarinet
+0 -1
That the only substantial influence the ancient greeks have had on our political and social systems is the word 'democracy'.
That the only substantial influence the ancient greeks have had on our political and social systems is the word 'democracy'.
contrasoma
+0 -0
A bold claim. Hannah Arendt would likely either deck you or bitterly agree, depending on her mood. In any case, I'd be keen to read the finished paper.
A bold claim. Hannah Arendt would likely either deck you or bitterly agree, depending on her mood. In any case, I'd be keen to read the finished paper.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well, as far as I can tell, most of our political and social systems come from the Romans, on whom the Greeks were a main influence. I'm not seeing any other candidates.
Well, as far as I can tell, most of our political and social systems come from the Romans, on whom the Greeks were a main influence. I'm not seeing any other candidates.
hamscout
+0 -0
Regardless from whom we get our historical writing,
aren't we blindly elevating texts just because they survived ?
Maybe the Atlanians were the smartest race ever on the face of the Earth, but we'll never study their scripture because shit be waterlogged.
(This is also kind of a weak argument, because I'm sure there's plenty of examples of ancient man making dick and fart jokes--they just don't get a nice case at the museum.)
Regardless from whom we get our historical writing,
aren't we blindly elevating texts just because they survived ?
Maybe the Atlanians were the smartest race ever on the face of the Earth, but we'll never study their scripture because shit be waterlogged.
(This is also kind of a weak argument, because I'm sure there's plenty of examples of ancient man making dick and fart jokes--they just don't get a nice case at the museum.)
pogo
+0 -0
No, you make an excellent point. The ancient Greek alphabet was short and easy to write fast, so they recorded like tons of shit, and maybe it wasn't the best, but it's all we've got. And since humans haven't changed much physically in 100,000 years, there could have been pre-ice-age civilizations living on the continental shelves that has very advanced, wood-based technologies, including books, but which are now seaweed. (And yes, I'd like to write about such pre-moderncultures, if only I had the energy.)
No, you make an excellent point. The ancient Greek alphabet was short and easy to write fast, so they recorded like tons of shit, and maybe it wasn't the best, but it's all we've got. And since humans haven't changed much physically in 100,000 years, there could have been pre-ice-age civilizations living on the continental shelves that has very advanced, wood-based technologies, including books, but which are now seaweed. (And yes, I'd like to write about such pre-moderncultures, if only I had the energy.)
charchar
+1 -0
There totally are. It's kinda eerie; I find similar things on desks and bus stops all the time.
It's like Rome never fell
There totally are. It's kinda eerie; I find similar things on desks and bus stops all the time.
It's like Rome never fell
octafish
+0 -0
Nah, Aristophanes makes fart jokes in the opening scene of The Frogs . His plays often featured male characters with huge leather phalli waving around. That shit is respected.
Nah, Aristophanes makes fart jokes in the opening scene of The Frogs . His plays often featured male characters with huge leather phalli waving around. That shit is respected.
thegoblins
+0 -0
My little sister and I once tried to act out The Frogs . It lead to hilarities!
My little sister and I once tried to act out The Frogs . It lead to hilarities!
ortsac
+0 -0
Were you homeschooled or something?
Were you homeschooled or something?
perilon
+2 -0
Plus if it weren't for the Greeks, the community of Athens, GA would have had to be named Mohenjo-daro, GA or some such shit. I mean really, who ever heard the nonsense.
Claiming that the only influence of the ancient Greeks on our civilization is the word --not even the concept-- "democracy" is equally spurious as claiming they had everything to do with how we live. Dollars to doughnuts the truth lies somewhere in the middle. After all, metron ariston.
Plus if it weren't for the Greeks, the community of Athens, GA would have had to be named Mohenjo-daro, GA or some such shit. I mean really, who ever heard the nonsense.
Claiming that the only influence of the ancient Greeks on our civilization is the word --not even the concept-- "democracy" is equally spurious as claiming they had everything to do with how we live. Dollars to doughnuts the truth lies somewhere in the middle. After all, metron ariston.
pogo
+0 -0
Metron ariston, nice! Band name, T-shirt phrase, tatoo between tits, take your pick.
Metron ariston, nice! Band name, T-shirt phrase, tatoo between tits, take your pick.
pogo
+0 -0
Gads, mtclarinet, you leave out ethos, logos, graphien, and literally dozens of other topics, ideas, and philosophies (even the word, philosphy is Greek) the Ancient Greeks first wrote down. Your examination is extremely shallow, it appears.
Gads, mtclarinet, you leave out ethos, logos, graphien, and literally dozens of other topics, ideas, and philosophies (even the word, philosphy is Greek) the Ancient Greeks first wrote down. Your examination is extremely shallow, it appears.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Because 99% of you are humanities-side nerds, I won't begin to tell you all of the gazillion mathematical and scientific geekeries than the Greeks advanced.
Because 99% of you are humanities-side nerds, I won't begin to tell you all of the gazillion mathematical and scientific geekeries than the Greeks advanced.
pogo
+0 -0
Pie are squared.
Pie are squared.
sncether
+0 -0
Congratulations Greece
You are the
Creators of Equations
of the Week (130,440 weeks running)
Congratulations Greece
You are the
Creators of Equations
of the Week (130,440 weeks running)
laserblade
+0 -0
Being one of the other 1% (nothing against the humanities, they're jut not my major), I'd like to point out that they came up with such as the very concepts of physics and biology, worked out Euclidean geometry in basically the form we use it today, and laid the foundations for the Indians and Arabs to come up with algebra.
Being one of the other 1% (nothing against the humanities, they're jut not my major), I'd like to point out that they came up with such as the very concepts of physics and biology, worked out Euclidean geometry in basically the form we use it today, and laid the foundations for the Indians and Arabs to come up with algebra.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
They went even deeper than that, plumbing the depths of fundamental logic. Before then the idea of building ideas from basic axioms hadn't been considered, and idea like "A statement must be either true or false, with no in-between" was debatable. I have a giant purple hardon for Aristotle and his logic. HUGE hardon.
They went even deeper than that, plumbing the depths of fundamental logic. Before then the idea of building ideas from basic axioms hadn't been considered, and idea like "A statement must be either true or false, with no in-between" was debatable. I have a giant purple hardon for Aristotle and his logic. HUGE hardon.
sncether
+0 -0
And another big thanks from hedonismbot to the Greeks for laying the groundwork for the Large Hardon Collider
And another big thanks from hedonismbot to the Greeks for laying the groundwork for the Large Hardon Collider
bixschmix
+0 -0
I hear that, once it gets up and functioning right, it'll solve all sorts of mysteries and opens our eyes to things we never considered before!
(you see, I'm talking about how the supercollider will help us understand the universe but the subtext is his penis)
I hear that, once it gets up and functioning right, it'll solve all sorts of mysteries and opens our eyes to things we never considered before!
(you see, I'm talking about how the supercollider will help us understand the universe but the subtext is his penis)
hedonismbot
+1 -0
It's already up! They are running a few tests beams make sure it'll function well when it shoots for real.
You see, I am also talking about the collider, but implying that I am erect at the same time.
It's already up! They are running a few tests beams make sure it'll function well when it shoots for real.
You see, I am also talking about the collider, but implying that I am erect at the same time.
catgrl131
+0 -0
hedonismbot has an erection
You see, I am stating that hedonismbot has an erection.
hedonismbot has an erection
You see, I am stating that hedonismbot has an erection.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
How are you these days, catgrl?
this also implies I am hard
How are you these days, catgrl?
this also implies I am hard
laserblade
+0 -0
Penetration.
Penetration.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Note that I'm not the one who lamed you, but you do make a rather controversial point without offering much in the way of argument, so I am actually curious where you're coming from with this.
Note that I'm not the one who lamed you, but you do make a rather controversial point without offering much in the way of argument, so I am actually curious where you're coming from with this.
irondave
+3 -0
The guy with a DDR seal for an avatar exhorts us all to examine our beliefs.
The guy with a DDR seal for an avatar exhorts us all to examine our beliefs.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I agree with Achilleselbow here. I think the Greeks had some pretty solid basic ideas which are interesting to pick apart and extrapolate on. The Greeks were all about constant questioning.
I agree with Achilleselbow here. I think the Greeks had some pretty solid basic ideas which are interesting to pick apart and extrapolate on. The Greeks were all about constant questioning.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
I think that's a bit strong. You can trace a thread from modern liberal thinking back to Renaissance Humanism, which gained huge intellectual benefit from the rediscovered texts of classical civilization. I can see that ths eschatological view of the past might be reductive, but it's certainly defensible.
(I am amused by the fact that you have been lamed by keen Platonists)
I think that's a bit strong. You can trace a thread from modern liberal thinking back to Renaissance Humanism, which gained huge intellectual benefit from the rediscovered texts of classical civilization. I can see that ths eschatological view of the past might be reductive, but it's certainly defensible.
(I am amused by the fact that you have been lamed by keen Platonists)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This tops the former funniest, which was my freshman Philosophy 101 prof yelling and cursing as he played the roles of those chained in the cave and those controlling the images they see. And of course, I doodled the entire allegory in the margins of my book.
This tops the former funniest, which was my freshman Philosophy 101 prof yelling and cursing as he played the roles of those chained in the cave and those controlling the images they see. And of course, I doodled the entire allegory in the margins of my book.
tragicone
+0 -0
you know, maybe I will be the first to say it. I have no idea how this relates to the allegory of the Cave.
you know, maybe I will be the first to say it. I have no idea how this relates to the allegory of the Cave.
tragicone
+0 -2
i mean textually i understand this is an attempt to reference it, but I don't believe this successfully encompasses the full Allegory.
i mean textually i understand this is an attempt to reference it, but I don't believe this successfully encompasses the full Allegory.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I don't think it's supposed to, it's just supposed to be absurd and an excuse for Onstad to stick more random metaphors/mental images into the strip.
I don't think it's supposed to, it's just supposed to be absurd and an excuse for Onstad to stick more random metaphors/mental images into the strip.
davey-boy
+0 -0
More of a play on the trite "if a man speaks in the woods, and a woman is not around to hear him, is he still wrong" joke.
More of a play on the trite "if a man speaks in the woods, and a woman is not around to hear him, is he still wrong" joke.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Exactly, it's him trying to Do Philosophy, which is less dirty than it sounds.
Exactly, it's him trying to Do Philosophy, which is less dirty than it sounds.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Beef, that is.
Beef, that is.
ddgoec
+0 -0
It MIGHT grow up into a juggalo.
It MIGHT grow up into a juggalo.
falseprophet
+0 -0
It could go either way. That could go either way.
It could go either way. That could go either way.
autrepoupee
+4 -0
Mothers, don't let your sons grow up to be WICKIIT WICKIIT CLOWNZ NINJA VOODOO WIZAAARDS WHAT YEHA
Mothers, don't let your sons grow up to be WICKIIT WICKIIT CLOWNZ NINJA VOODOO WIZAAARDS WHAT YEHA
sje46
+0 -0
You mean cowboys?
I mix the two up also.
You mean cowboys?
I mix the two up also.
tragicone
+0 -0
that could easily be from an ICP song. god i hate them so.
that could easily be from an ICP song. god i hate them so.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
I have a confession to make.
I have no idea what a juggalo is. My first guess would be a male prostitute who is also skilled in parlor tricks.
But this may not be a good guess.
I have a confession to make.
I have no idea what a juggalo is. My first guess would be a male prostitute who is also skilled in parlor tricks.
But this may not be a good guess.
tekende
+0 -0
A juggalo is an ICP fan, specifically, the type who venture into public in black clothing and EEVIL KLOWN makeup.
A juggalo is an ICP fan, specifically, the type who venture into public in black clothing and EEVIL KLOWN makeup.
phy
+0 -0
ICP themselves have a track about what a juggalo is. Go look it up. Heck, I'll even give you a link . Go on, look. I'll wait.
All done?
There, there. You're back now. It's going to be alright.
ICP themselves have a track about what a juggalo is. Go look it up. Heck, I'll even give you a link . Go on, look. I'll wait.
All done?
There, there. You're back now. It's going to be alright.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
i got to the part about shitting connect four. and then, as my sanity wavered and my head threatened to explode, i returned to the safety of assetbar.
assetbar: we may not be perfect, but we do not eat monopoly.
i got to the part about shitting connect four. and then, as my sanity wavered and my head threatened to explode, i returned to the safety of assetbar.
assetbar: we may not be perfect, but we do not eat monopoly.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Or masturbate into pasta dishes.
Well, at least we don't discuss it openly. We have some decorum.
Or masturbate into pasta dishes.
Well, at least we don't discuss it openly. We have some decorum.
hamscout
+0 -0
Ketchup that bitch!
> SPLUT! <
Ketchup that bitch!
> SPLUT! <
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Decorum, what news from the Worf?
Decorum, what news from the Worf?
irondave
+0 -0
That is just where you are wrong, young fellow: that is a fucking awesome guess.
That is just where you are wrong, young fellow: that is a fucking awesome guess.
higuma
+6 -0
If a man chains a baby in a cave, does he instinctively know that he will go to jail?
If a man chains a baby in a cave, does he instinctively know that he will go to jail?
daidai
+0 -0
I didn't feel too bad about it.
I didn't feel too bad about it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
and you're still on the loose.
and you're still on the loose.
bumpishound
+0 -0
it is impordant to party.
it is impordant to party.
varnish
+0 -0
What a coincidence. My co-worker was just showing me the ICP tattoo he was planning to get for his young daughter. Fairly tasteful, but I can't help but feel that six is a bit young for that sort of thing.
What a coincidence. My co-worker was just showing me the ICP tattoo he was planning to get for his young daughter. Fairly tasteful, but I can't help but feel that six is a bit young for that sort of thing.
davey-boy
+0 -1
I hope to God you are kidding. I can't take the ludicrosity of this statement at face value, you understand; this is the internet.
I hope to God you are kidding. I can't take the ludicrosity of this statement at face value, you understand; this is the internet.
varnish
+0 -0
I never lie.
That was a lie.
I never lie.
That was a lie.
videocrime
+0 -0
a 3-day Jager bender is my default setting.
what?
a 3-day Jager bender is my default setting.
what?
cdumas
+0 -0
So you caused the lemon shortage .
So you caused the lemon shortage .
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I'm so lucky I live in the US... just imagine the chaos here if we ever ran short on lemons!!!
I'm so lucky I live in the US... just imagine the chaos here if we ever ran short on lemons!!!
irondave
+2 -0
What in the hell are you going to do about scurvy?! Is there a plan?
What in the hell are you going to do about scurvy?! Is there a plan?
mystkmanat
+1 -0
The oranges are just going to have to step it up.
The oranges are just going to have to step it up.
charchar
+2 -0
Bell peppers all sittin' on the sidleines, knowing they'll never get their chance. The asparagus don't even bother showing up for the games anymore. Resentment boils over as citrus whores all the anti-scurbotic attention.
Not my fault you vegetables suck so bad.
Bell peppers all sittin' on the sidleines, knowing they'll never get their chance. The asparagus don't even bother showing up for the games anymore. Resentment boils over as citrus whores all the anti-scurbotic attention.
Not my fault you vegetables suck so bad.
charchar
+0 -0
Also it is not my fault that I can't BBCode and hit the space bar.
Also it is not my fault that I can't BBCode and hit the space bar.
cdumas
+2 -0
And everyone crying out, where are the limes who used to save the Empire?
MEANWHILE, AT THE LIME COMPOUND
And everyone crying out, where are the limes who used to save the Empire?
MEANWHILE, AT THE LIME COMPOUND
bobodante
+0 -0
Finally, that semester of Ancient Greek Philosophy pays off BIG... Plato Beef = Educational Win
Finally, that semester of Ancient Greek Philosophy pays off BIG... Plato Beef = Educational Win
mg7810
+7 -0
Also, I think, being Greek, Beef has Innate Philosophical Powers.
Also, I think, being Greek, Beef has Innate Philosophical Powers.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I had a Greek Philosophy teacher (no shit.) And he disproves this hypothesis.
I had a Greek Philosophy teacher (no shit.) And he disproves this hypothesis.
aspecialboy
+1 -0
please no baby
please no baby
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Seconded.
I have a feeling that pretty soon this strip will become home to a long and drawn-out argument about feminism, society, and the pros and cons of having/raising children. I am both dreading and looking forward to this.
Seconded.
I have a feeling that pretty soon this strip will become home to a long and drawn-out argument about feminism, society, and the pros and cons of having/raising children. I am both dreading and looking forward to this.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I think Phillipe is Onstad's allegory into children. At least, that is how I interpereted the strip where Phillipe is crying about not having a chainsaw, and then admonishing Teodor for getting irritated at that, out of some paternal guilt on the author's part, I believe. At any rate, I doubt he will go this route.
I think Phillipe is Onstad's allegory into children. At least, that is how I interpereted the strip where Phillipe is crying about not having a chainsaw, and then admonishing Teodor for getting irritated at that, out of some paternal guilt on the author's part, I believe. At any rate, I doubt he will go this route.
daidai
+0 -0
I have apparently forgotten, what exactly is Teodor's connection to Phillippe's mother which caused her to entrust him to the group of people whom, besides Cornelius, I would never allow near my children?
Actually, Connie is a bear, I probably wouldn't leave my kid with him either.
I have apparently forgotten, what exactly is Teodor's connection to Phillippe's mother which caused her to entrust him to the group of people whom, besides Cornelius, I would never allow near my children?
Actually, Connie is a bear, I probably wouldn't leave my kid with him either.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
teodor takes care of him because they are both stuffed animals that live at onstad's house. when you are a stuffed animal you don't get to pick where you live.
teodor takes care of him because they are both stuffed animals that live at onstad's house. when you are a stuffed animal you don't get to pick where you live.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
even when you are an alive stuffed animal . sadly.
even when you are an alive stuffed animal . sadly.
quaga
+0 -0
I totally put a mental comma between no and baby.
I totally put a mental comma between no and baby.
heath
+0 -0
As much as I agree with this comment, I have to disagree with it. I was worried about the wedding thing, but it has turned out alright, yeah? At this point, I'm content to just have faith in The Onstad
As much as I agree with this comment, I have to disagree with it. I was worried about the wedding thing, but it has turned out alright, yeah? At this point, I'm content to just have faith in The Onstad
echidnaboy
+0 -0
It's bound to happen eventually. Hell, 1400 strips without any of the characters having a baby is probably some kind of record for a webcomic. And Onstad is certainly capable of producing funny comics about sperm counts, birthing pools, breast-feeding and poop.
It's bound to happen eventually. Hell, 1400 strips without any of the characters having a baby is probably some kind of record for a webcomic. And Onstad is certainly capable of producing funny comics about sperm counts, birthing pools, breast-feeding and poop.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Sure, then why not have all the characters get old and make jokes about adult diapers and Viagra?
All I'm saying is that Lyle hasn't flipped anyone off or performed bodily functions in inappropriate areas in like forever, and it's kind of making me sad.
Sure, then why not have all the characters get old and make jokes about adult diapers and Viagra?
All I'm saying is that Lyle hasn't flipped anyone off or performed bodily functions in inappropriate areas in like forever, and it's kind of making me sad.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
I think the optimal scenario would be for Lyle to flip off Beef and Molly's baby
I think the optimal scenario would be for Lyle to flip off Beef and Molly's baby
heath
+8 -0
or, perhaps, puke on the baby so hard that it rolls three feet.
or, perhaps, puke on the baby so hard that it rolls three feet.
quaga
+0 -0
That doesn't happen by not caring.
That doesn't happen by not caring.
heath
+0 -0
SPLOOT! of love.
SPLOOT! of love.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Lyle and the baby could have contests to see which one could produce the most foul eructations and spew out the most varied body fluids in the course of an hour.
Lyle and the baby could have contests to see which one could produce the most foul eructations and spew out the most varied body fluids in the course of an hour.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I don't see why the situation of having a baby contains any less potential for humour than the situation of not having a baby.
I don't see why the situation of having a baby contains any less potential for humour than the situation of not having a baby.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Then you need more experience of parenting.
Then you need more experience of parenting.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
..your avatar says otherwise.
..your avatar says otherwise.
andrew
+2 -0
I was hoping the Insane Clown Posse just didn't exist in the achewood universe. No such luck.
I was hoping the Insane Clown Posse just didn't exist in the achewood universe. No such luck.
pogo
+0 -0
Chub for the Brian Jones joke. Now class, does anyone remember when Mr. Jones left the Stones tragically as a "floater"?
Chub for the Brian Jones joke. Now class, does anyone remember when Mr. Jones left the Stones tragically as a "floater"?
morypcaina
+0 -0
The Brian Jonestown Massacre is actually a band. (The joke was definitely intended though.)
The Brian Jonestown Massacre is actually a band. (The joke was definitely intended though.)
pogo
+2 -0
I'm glad Molly's neck is shrinking back to normal.
I'm glad Molly's neck is shrinking back to normal.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Is doing philosophy the same thing as avoiding the subject? Well, you see, it's all a matter of language. For what is a "subject" anyway? Isn't it just an arbitrarily devised construct that groups certain things together? And isn't this tendency to group and categorize the product of heteronormative Western imperialism?
Is doing philosophy the same thing as avoiding the subject? Well, you see, it's all a matter of language. For what is a "subject" anyway? Isn't it just an arbitrarily devised construct that groups certain things together? And isn't this tendency to group and categorize the product of heteronormative Western imperialism?
perilon
+1 -0
The idea of "topics" is so heteronormative, it makes me want to have a baby.
The idea of "topics" is so heteronormative, it makes me want to have a baby.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Your mom's pretty heteronormative.
In bed.
Your mom's pretty heteronormative.
In bed.
perilon
+0 -0
That's what she said.
She said that when I was 5.
That explains a lot about my first day in preschool.
That's what she said.
She said that when I was 5.
That explains a lot about my first day in preschool.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I am going to refer you to Hetronormative Topics and Imperial Constructs: Towards a Structural Hermeneutics of Western Epistimology . I think it will answer most of your questions.
I am going to refer you to Hetronormative Topics and Imperial Constructs: Towards a Structural Hermeneutics of Western Epistimology . I think it will answer most of your questions.
thegoblins
+1 -0
"Heteronormative" seems to mean "things you don't like" nowadays. Is this true?
"Heteronormative" seems to mean "things you don't like" nowadays. Is this true?
irondave
+0 -0
Careful, you'll end up at re-education camp.
Careful, you'll end up at re-education camp.
tekende
+0 -0
More specifically, "things you don't like that may or may not indicate sexism in some vague way."
More specifically, "things you don't like that may or may not indicate sexism in some vague way."
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I would forward you to references on "doublespeak" and "thoughtcrime". I would do this using academic citations, but I come from a part of academia that tends not to do that shit.
I would forward you to references on "doublespeak" and "thoughtcrime". I would do this using academic citations, but I come from a part of academia that tends not to do that shit.
tekende
+0 -0
Why would you do this?
Why would you do this?
hbaranov
+1 -0
Unbellygoodfeel!
Unbellygoodfeel!
charchar
+1 -0
Do you need some fizzygoodmakefeelnice?
Do you need some fizzygoodmakefeelnice?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I wanted to give you a chubby, and do Cobumbo, but I was out of chubbies and cigars.
I wanted to give you a chubby, and do Cobumbo, but I was out of chubbies and cigars.
sje46
+0 -0
I gave him a chubby for you.
That'll be five bucks.
I gave him a chubby for you.
That'll be five bucks.
tragicone
+0 -0
Her, actually.
That'll be ten bucks.
Her, actually.
That'll be ten bucks.
sje46
+0 -0
hbaranov is a 108 year old male.
That'll be twenty bucks.
hbaranov is a 108 year old male.
That'll be twenty bucks.
tragicone
+0 -0
Thats a separate train of thought.
That'll be fifty bucks.
Thats a separate train of thought.
That'll be fifty bucks.
sje46
+0 -0
My point was that I was talking about hbaranov, who according to his profile, is male. Not a girl. This was the person I gave a chubby to for hatstand.
That will be one hundred bucks.
My point was that I was talking about hbaranov, who according to his profile, is male. Not a girl. This was the person I gave a chubby to for hatstand.
That will be one hundred bucks.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I was directing my praise towards charchar. Sorry.
I was directing my praise towards charchar. Sorry.
catgrl131
+0 -0
You forgot to charge sje46.
That'll be two hundred bucks and whatever spare change you got lying around.
You forgot to charge sje46.
That'll be two hundred bucks and whatever spare change you got lying around.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I chubbied hatstand, restoring balance to the force. That'l be pi dollars, times ten to the power of pi please
I chubbied hatstand, restoring balance to the force. That'l be pi dollars, times ten to the power of pi please
achilleselbow
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thorfinn
+0 -0
Nobody is going to give you $4352.54, this is a ridiculous sum to charge for your chubbying services.
Nobody is going to give you $4352.54, this is a ridiculous sum to charge for your chubbying services.
sje46
+0 -0
I thought that hatstand was chubbying hbaranov because their names matched up, and that ghost avatat messed me up.
Oh Assetbar!
I'm sorry; I have no money to give. I gave it all to charity yesterday.
I thought that hatstand was chubbying hbaranov because their names matched up, and that ghost avatat messed me up.
Oh Assetbar!
I'm sorry; I have no money to give. I gave it all to charity yesterday.
deadpool
+0 -0
I was in a situation like this twenty years ago. I didn't want any kids. And I always get my way.
I was in a situation like this twenty years ago. I didn't want any kids. And I always get my way.
nevlik
+0 -0
All the tweakers I know work in head shops or skate shops or telemarketing call centers. Pep Boys must be some kind of creme de la creme of meth burn out job. Rally on, Randy the Creepy Old Tweaker! Rally on!
All the tweakers I know work in head shops or skate shops or telemarketing call centers. Pep Boys must be some kind of creme de la creme of meth burn out job. Rally on, Randy the Creepy Old Tweaker! Rally on!
quaga
+0 -0
Oh yeah, Pep Boys is where tweakers go to die (this is a lie, the alley or gutter is where tweakers go to die).
Oh yeah, Pep Boys is where tweakers go to die (this is a lie, the alley or gutter is where tweakers go to die).
daidai
+0 -0
Or, apparently, my uncle's backyard hammock.
Or, apparently, my uncle's backyard hammock.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You there, I need closure on that anecdote...
You there, I need closure on that anecdote...
tragicone
+0 -0
here here!
here here!
daidai
+0 -0
Daidai considered his options -- create a far-fetched story culminating in a dead tweaker in a hammock, create some sort of distraction, or confess that such a story does not exist .
Look over there!
Daidai considered his options -- create a far-fetched story culminating in a dead tweaker in a hammock, create some sort of distraction, or confess that such a story does not exist .
Look over there!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
What... [i]that[/]? Is that it?
What... [i]that[/]? Is that it?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Fucking woodenteeth. Why don't you come with an edit feature woodenteeth.
WOODENTEETH!
Fucking woodenteeth. Why don't you come with an edit feature woodenteeth.
WOODENTEETH!
quazifuji
+0 -0
Daidai's avoiding the subject!
Or is he doing philosophy ?
Daidai's avoiding the subject!
Or is he doing philosophy ?
tragicone
+0 -0
he is right, youths do have insane tattoos for no reason. I'm on beefs side for this argument.
he is right, youths do have insane tattoos for no reason. I'm on beefs side for this argument.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
hey, i don't understand the "It's crowning" and ".. Is it crowning".
will someone explain that?
the baby debate part was A . classic nonsensical pseudo philosophy.
hey, i don't understand the "It's crowning" and ".. Is it crowning".
will someone explain that?
the baby debate part was A . classic nonsensical pseudo philosophy.
quaga
+0 -0
Crowning is when the top of the babies head starts to poke out of the lady parts.
Crowning is when the top of the babies head starts to poke out of the lady parts.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
got it.
but with those feet upside down, it's like she's on her belly shittin' that kid out all doggy style.
can you explain that [please], quaga?
got it.
but with those feet upside down, it's like she's on her belly shittin' that kid out all doggy style.
can you explain that [please], quaga?
quaga
+0 -0
She ain't upside down, she's lying on her back with her lady parts facing Beef. (I almost wrote "with her roast beef facing Beef", but judged it too crude.)
She ain't upside down, she's lying on her back with her lady parts facing Beef. (I almost wrote "with her roast beef facing Beef", but judged it too crude.)
desert_donkey
+0 -0
not chance (about that being too crude or that she's on her back). that's definitely the bottom of her feet.
let's keep trying on this.
not chance (about that being too crude or that she's on her back). that's definitely the bottom of her feet.
let's keep trying on this.
kazad
+0 -0
lie down, give it a try. it makes sense
lie down, give it a try. it makes sense
kazad
+0 -0
hrm, what i'm saying here is that if you lie down on your back and stick your feet up in the air (thus exposing the crowning area) they're going to be soles up, toes pointed at your head. My last post was rather less than informative
hrm, what i'm saying here is that if you lie down on your back and stick your feet up in the air (thus exposing the crowning area) they're going to be soles up, toes pointed at your head. My last post was rather less than informative
quaga
+0 -0
Her feet are in the air while on her back. This is quite standard for birthing.
Her feet are in the air while on her back. This is quite standard for birthing.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also pretty standard for theirateturk's girlfriend.
Also pretty standard for theirateturk's girlfriend.
quaga
+0 -0
badum psh
badum psh
octafish
+0 -0
Sorry to be lawbot but NO! That is normal for TV and movies and ladies who have complications. Most babies nowadays are born with the woman standing, squatting or kneeling, so the bady is assisted by gravity.
Sorry to be lawbot but NO! That is normal for TV and movies and ladies who have complications. Most babies nowadays are born with the woman standing, squatting or kneeling, so the bady is assisted by gravity.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
So what you are saying is that they are born the same way they are conceived?
So what you are saying is that they are born the same way they are conceived?
desert_donkey
+0 -0
funny.
and yes, quaga, i finally understand (had to watch youporn for 3 hours last night to finally get it). but thanks for your persistence and not calling me a stupid fuckface!!
funny.
and yes, quaga, i finally understand (had to watch youporn for 3 hours last night to finally get it). but thanks for your persistence and not calling me a stupid fuckface!!
woodenteeth
+1 -0
I must say NO to that. What you say is sensible practice, but not common practice.
I must say NO to that. What you say is sensible practice, but not common practice.
bixschmix
+0 -0
It depends. In a hospital, you are right. For people who give birth at, like, a birthing center or with a midwife or doula, I think octafish is right and the trend is towards gravity-assisted spawning.
It depends. In a hospital, you are right. For people who give birth at, like, a birthing center or with a midwife or doula, I think octafish is right and the trend is towards gravity-assisted spawning.
tragicone
+0 -0
wouldn't you say most births are done at a hospital though? making it the common practice?
wouldn't you say most births are done at a hospital though? making it the common practice?
bixschmix
+0 -0
The majority are probably at hospitals, but there has definitely been a trend towards that other stuff recently. (I have no statistics to support this assertion, and plan to provide none.)
But really... who thinks "doula" is a funny word? I do.
The majority are probably at hospitals, but there has definitely been a trend towards that other stuff recently. (I have no statistics to support this assertion, and plan to provide none.)
But really... who thinks "doula" is a funny word? I do.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
yes. squatting. that is why the common vernacular for passing a baby through your body is now called "shitting a kid out".
yes. squatting. that is why the common vernacular for passing a baby through your body is now called "shitting a kid out".
progeny_dialect
+0 -0
how about if the woman is on her back in one of those centerfuges they use for generating multiple Gs... screw 1G assisted birth have a 5G birth.
not only is you gonna get the baby borned in a few minutes flat, you is gonna get all that placenta crap out of there right away too. no messing around with it all still oozing out days after the fact.
how about if the woman is on her back in one of those centerfuges they use for generating multiple Gs... screw 1G assisted birth have a 5G birth.
not only is you gonna get the baby borned in a few minutes flat, you is gonna get all that placenta crap out of there right away too. no messing around with it all still oozing out days after the fact.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
wouldn't the baby get hella shook about by that? what about a Vomit Comet zero-grav, snatch-n'-grab birth?
[IMGS OFF]
wouldn't the baby get hella shook about by that? what about a Vomit Comet zero-grav, snatch-n'-grab birth?
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
One problem: Umbilical Cord.
**especially in my case, as I was born with the chord around my neck.
One problem: Umbilical Cord.
**especially in my case, as I was born with the chord around my neck.
woodenteeth
+6 -0
the chord was A minor.
the chord was A minor.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Fantastic save there
Fantastic save there
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I imagined for a moment that you were the villan in a horror flick (with women in your basement) and, after saving myself from your clutches, there you are, as if by magic, standing outside the door of the house, saying "Fantastic save there".
I imagined for a moment that you were the villan in a horror flick (with women in your basement) and, after saving myself from your clutches, there you are, as if by magic, standing outside the door of the house, saying "Fantastic save there".
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And that is when I dress you as a woman and kidnap you
And that is when I dress you as a woman and kidnap you
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
For churches have nuns, cowboys got guns and everyone's waiting to die.
be it an instant after birth or ninety years later, we are all born to die.
oh why do we always hurt the ones we hit?
For churches have nuns, cowboys got guns and everyone's waiting to die.
be it an instant after birth or ninety years later, we are all born to die.
oh why do we always hurt the ones we hit?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:O I understand what you are quoting here.
:O I understand what you are quoting here.
soupkaty
+0 -0
i feel compared to share the fact that when i was being birthed, i attempted to go the wrong way.
i still have bad directional skills.
i feel compared to share the fact that when i was being birthed, i attempted to go the wrong way.
i still have bad directional skills.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hey, Soupkaty! Did you friend me on Facebook?
Hey, Soupkaty! Did you friend me on Facebook?
soupkaty
+0 -0
yessir, i believe i did
yessir, i believe i did
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Good to know!
Good to know!
irondave
+0 -0
I did not know that was even a Thing that babies could try to do.
I did not know that was even a Thing that babies could try to do.
professorhazard
+1 -0
I laughed so hard at the end of this that I crowned.
I laughed so hard at the end of this that I crowned.
invidious
+1 -0
I laughed so hard I started crowning out my backside.
I laughed so hard I started crowning out my backside.
aperson
+0 -0
I laughed so hard I shat a shit. Out of my ass!
(observe the continuum, from subtlety to rubbishness)
I laughed so hard I shat a shit. Out of my ass!
(observe the continuum, from subtlety to rubbishness)
bumpishound
+15 -1
INSANE CROWN POSSE
INSANE CROWN POSSE
akadriver
+0 -0
...and the chain to complete rubbish is complete.
...and the chain to complete rubbish is complete.
bumpishound
+0 -0
there is one more declension before this hits absolute bottom
be advised that that declension is ruuude
there is one more declension before this hits absolute bottom
be advised that that declension is ruuude
achilleselbow
+0 -0
INSANE CROWN PUSSY
Was that it? Do I win?
INSANE CROWN PUSSY
Was that it? Do I win?
bumpishound
+0 -0
Huzzah!
Huzzah!
charhe
+1 -0
So subtle, to overt, to really blunt, through complete rubbish, and to self-critiquing and 'meta.'
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Internet.
So subtle, to overt, to really blunt, through complete rubbish, and to self-critiquing and 'meta.'
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Internet.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
What a rotten application of oneself.
What a rotten application of oneself.
aperson
+0 -0
Hatstand_mcq: He Is The Conscience of Assetbar Posters But In The End They Do Not Like Him.
Hatstand_mcq: He Is The Conscience of Assetbar Posters But In The End They Do Not Like Him.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I laughed so hard I put on a crown and wrote in my blog about it.
I laughed so hard I put on a crown and wrote in my blog about it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I crowned so hard I laughed out my backside.
I crowned so hard I laughed out my backside.
perilon
+3 -0
I laughed so hard, hot bloody fat sprayed everywhere.
I laughed so hard, hot bloody fat sprayed everywhere.
lazarusloafer
+0 -0
Some even got on the mayor!
Some even got on the mayor!
hbaranov
+0 -1
Mayor Adam West.
Mayor Adam West.
envika
+0 -0
true story: insane clown posse has a three-day "gathering of the juggalos" annually in some small national park in the midwest.
that would make a hell of an article for a college journalism course.
true story: insane clown posse has a three-day "gathering of the juggalos" annually in some small national park in the midwest.
that would make a hell of an article for a college journalism course.
invidious
+1 -0
That would make a hell of a target for a napalm drop.
That would make a hell of a target for a napalm drop.
quaga
+0 -0
Make this happen
Make this happen
tragicone
+0 -0
i agree!
i agree!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Someone just has to contact Vice magazine.
Someone just has to contact Vice magazine.
hubajube
+2 -0
Hey look, I hate Insane Clown Posse too! Also, mullets and Comic Sans. Hate!
Hey look, I hate Insane Clown Posse too! Also, mullets and Comic Sans. Hate!
grayestnova
+0 -0
As a person that is majoring in philosophy, I feel that this strip accurately sums up exactly what it is to do philosophy.
As a person that is majoring in philosophy, I feel that this strip accurately sums up exactly what it is to do philosophy.
davey-boy
+1 -0
You poor girl. Becoming aware that your education is completely superfluous is somewhat akin to finding out your religion or deity is bunk.
You poor girl. Becoming aware that your education is completely superfluous is somewhat akin to finding out your religion or deity is bunk.
contrasoma
+8 -0
Um. No. No it's not. The vast majority of people who get into the humanities are fully aware of how their field does and doesn't correspond to the job market (I can only assume that by "superfluous" you mean "not relevant to a large chunk of qualifications sought after in the general job market"). Some of us, nay, most of us (although I'm not claiming to speak for grayestnova), get into the field because it excites us, gets us up in the morning, and think that working in a field that you love is worth a financial trade-off.
Sorry for taking this personally and going on a tear, I'm just fracking sick to death of all of the "hey, you're qualified to work at Starbucks now" cracks. We've all heard them before, and I'm perfectly aware of how one's academic choices affect one's life.
Um. No. No it's not. The vast majority of people who get into the humanities are fully aware of how their field does and doesn't correspond to the job market (I can only assume that by "superfluous" you mean "not relevant to a large chunk of qualifications sought after in the general job market"). Some of us, nay, most of us (although I'm not claiming to speak for grayestnova), get into the field because it excites us, gets us up in the morning, and think that working in a field that you love is worth a financial trade-off.
Sorry for taking this personally and going on a tear, I'm just fracking sick to death of all of the "hey, you're qualified to work at Starbucks now" cracks. We've all heard them before, and I'm perfectly aware of how one's academic choices affect one's life.
stereo
+0 -0
A full bladder gets me up in the morning.
I'm just saying.
A full bladder gets me up in the morning.
I'm just saying.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Fattens the thingy specifically
Fattens the thingy specifically
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I'm with ya, constrasoma. I think most people are here are too. I combined both and did Psychology, crazy theory and dollars. Awesome.
I'm with ya, constrasoma. I think most people are here are too. I combined both and did Psychology, crazy theory and dollars. Awesome.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
Seconded.
Wouldn't the world be great if we were all passionate about the sort of things that lead us to do college degrees that lead us to be the sort of self-satisfied sysadmins who like to laugh at people with Anthropology degrees.
Seconded.
Wouldn't the world be great if we were all passionate about the sort of things that lead us to do college degrees that lead us to be the sort of self-satisfied sysadmins who like to laugh at people with Anthropology degrees.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
The pen is mightier than the sword (collector).
The pen is mightier than the sword (collector).
mrprim
+2 -0
In-deed.
When you decide your major, you're all, "Man, I mean... I like computers, but I don't like want to marry them or anything." And then you see the guys who want to marry their computers, and you feel comfortable in the fact that you've made the better decision for yourself.
And then you graduate and go "Fuck, man. Why couldn't I have wanted to marry that computer?" when you're working for as a secretary and Jimmy is flying out to Seattle and defragging a some jigawatts, "No, I had to like "anthropology". Nobody even fucking knows what that is! The next person who asks me if I study bugs... I'll kill them with a rock."
I don't mind my liberal arts education. I feel better for it, I feel smarter, faster, STRONGER, and more fulfilled. I just wish the asshats of the world wouldn't try their hardest to make me feel BAD about it.
In-deed.
When you decide your major, you're all, "Man, I mean... I like computers, but I don't like want to marry them or anything." And then you see the guys who want to marry their computers, and you feel comfortable in the fact that you've made the better decision for yourself.
And then you graduate and go "Fuck, man. Why couldn't I have wanted to marry that computer?" when you're working for as a secretary and Jimmy is flying out to Seattle and defragging a some jigawatts, "No, I had to like "anthropology". Nobody even fucking knows what that is! The next person who asks me if I study bugs... I'll kill them with a rock."
I don't mind my liberal arts education. I feel better for it, I feel smarter, faster, STRONGER, and more fulfilled. I just wish the asshats of the world wouldn't try their hardest to make me feel BAD about it.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Ugh. Try going to a top computer science university and having a triple major in liberal artsy things. I never heard the end of it.
Ugh. Try going to a top computer science university and having a triple major in liberal artsy things. I never heard the end of it.
sigmacoder
+0 -0
What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
-Al
What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
-Al
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Sharpton?
Sharpton?
neo-aeris
+0 -0
Yankovic
Yankovic
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
play me online well you know that i'll beat you.
if i ever meet you i'll control-alt-delete you!
(obligatory 'not good/funny etc...')
where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
play me online well you know that i'll beat you.
if i ever meet you i'll control-alt-delete you!
(obligatory 'not good/funny etc...')
fallow_fields
+0 -0
HUGE slam on davey-boy out of nowhere!
HUGE slam on davey-boy out of nowhere!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
As a (sexy) man with multiple degrees in fields that make barrels of money, I'm going to agree with you. Despite my stack of sheepskin, what I do has little to do with my education. That is always the way of things. I regret not knowing more about the humanities. Oh sure, I can read and understand whatever the hell I want, but having experienced faculty and a culture of knowledge around you is impossible to recreate. Even if I went back, I couldn't get it. I recommend the little shithead teenagers on this board to consider getting a liberal arts education, then learning plumbing or some shit, so you will have the money to appreciate the life you now understand.
Of course, being rich means you can drown your sorrows of a mis-spent youth. Four hookers at once can make any decision seem like the right one.
As a (sexy) man with multiple degrees in fields that make barrels of money, I'm going to agree with you. Despite my stack of sheepskin, what I do has little to do with my education. That is always the way of things. I regret not knowing more about the humanities. Oh sure, I can read and understand whatever the hell I want, but having experienced faculty and a culture of knowledge around you is impossible to recreate. Even if I went back, I couldn't get it. I recommend the little shithead teenagers on this board to consider getting a liberal arts education, then learning plumbing or some shit, so you will have the money to appreciate the life you now understand.
Of course, being rich means you can drown your sorrows of a mis-spent youth. Four hookers at once can make any decision seem like the right one.
loneal
+0 -1
Is that all we are to you now? Hookers?
*sobs hysterically*
Is that all we are to you now? Hookers?
*sobs hysterically*
loneal
+0 -0
LAINESTIN! YOU CAME BACK TO ME!
LAINESTIN! YOU CAME BACK TO ME!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Did your time with Professorhazard mean nothing to you?
Did your time with Professorhazard mean nothing to you?
loneal
+0 -0
That motherfucker chuckled into my pussy, okay? Not exactly the most impressive sexual performance I've ever experienced. Lainestin just lames me as hard as he can, every post, always. It may not be very inventive, but it's reliable.
That motherfucker chuckled into my pussy, okay? Not exactly the most impressive sexual performance I've ever experienced. Lainestin just lames me as hard as he can, every post, always. It may not be very inventive, but it's reliable.
tekende
+0 -0
He did not! He very nearly chuckled into your hoo-ha. There is a difference.
He did not! He very nearly chuckled into your hoo-ha. There is a difference.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Man if people were more aware of the difference between very nearly doing things into a hoohah, vs actually doing them, there would be many fewer problems in the world.
Man if people were more aware of the difference between very nearly doing things into a hoohah, vs actually doing them, there would be many fewer problems in the world.
hamscout
+0 -0
I don't know about anyone else, but I use my degree more often on this forum than I do at my job.
Hell, I'm writing this [i]while I'm at my job!! *sob*
I don't know about anyone else, but I use my degree more often on this forum than I do at my job.
Hell, I'm writing this [i]while I'm at my job!! *sob*
davey-boy
+0 -0
I knew as soon as I hit reply that I picked the wrong board to crack on liberal arts degrees.
I still do not understand paying money for them, though. I mean, good money. Working man's money. And then not working for several months.
I knew as soon as I hit reply that I picked the wrong board to crack on liberal arts degrees.
I still do not understand paying money for them, though. I mean, good money. Working man's money. And then not working for several months.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Ideally you would get other people to pay for your degree, aka parents or scholarships. But really, I don't see that much of a difference. Apart from the business/econ majors who start out with a 100k job at some company with two last names working 80 hour weeks around the kind of people that no amount of money is worth interacting with, everyone is pretty much in the same boat after the first four years. My math and science friends work at engineering, laboratory, or consulting jobs for 40-50k, while my humanities friends work in publishing or general office gigs for 35-45k. Not that big a difference, and the most successful one of us was the guy who went to art school and now pulls in over 80k as a freelance animator. If you really care that much about money, a humanities degree is also the best preparation for law school.
Ideally you would get other people to pay for your degree, aka parents or scholarships. But really, I don't see that much of a difference. Apart from the business/econ majors who start out with a 100k job at some company with two last names working 80 hour weeks around the kind of people that no amount of money is worth interacting with, everyone is pretty much in the same boat after the first four years. My math and science friends work at engineering, laboratory, or consulting jobs for 40-50k, while my humanities friends work in publishing or general office gigs for 35-45k. Not that big a difference, and the most successful one of us was the guy who went to art school and now pulls in over 80k as a freelance animator. If you really care that much about money, a humanities degree is also the best preparation for law school.
sncether
+0 -0
In my experience, the best preparation for law school is mounting your own defense at The Hague. So maybe skip the undergrad program and become a soldier of fortune?
In my experience, the best preparation for law school is mounting your own defense at The Hague. So maybe skip the undergrad program and become a soldier of fortune?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Your friends need to look into the business thing too. Mixing math/engineering with business is a nice way to retire at 30.
Your friends need to look into the business thing too. Mixing math/engineering with business is a nice way to retire at 30.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Wasting your parents money would be as bad as your own, though I never got either luxury, myself.
Wasting your parents money would be as bad as your own, though I never got either luxury, myself.
loneal
+0 -0
Wait, wait. I know I am a just a liberal arts major, so maybe my logical processes aren't the most developed, but I am having some problems here.
Techie degrees are not a waste of money, but liberal arts degrees are? I know you're not implying that everyone should have a math- or science-related career, because that would be nonsensical on a number of levels. Should people who are inclined toward the liberal arts just not go to college, even though that is the most likely place they'd be exposed to math and science classes via graduation requirements? Or should they just teach themselves everything they need to know, the assumption being that they could gain nothing from interacting with people who know enough about literature or languages or whatever to teach at a professorial level or from being motivated to work hard because they are being graded or from talking with other students who could provide different viewpoints and start discussions? Or should liberal arts employers just not require degrees, while techie employers should?
I think I am missing something here! I am trying to employ my overpriced reading comprehension skills, and they are not working .
Wait, wait. I know I am a just a liberal arts major, so maybe my logical processes aren't the most developed, but I am having some problems here.
Techie degrees are not a waste of money, but liberal arts degrees are? I know you're not implying that everyone should have a math- or science-related career, because that would be nonsensical on a number of levels. Should people who are inclined toward the liberal arts just not go to college, even though that is the most likely place they'd be exposed to math and science classes via graduation requirements? Or should they just teach themselves everything they need to know, the assumption being that they could gain nothing from interacting with people who know enough about literature or languages or whatever to teach at a professorial level or from being motivated to work hard because they are being graded or from talking with other students who could provide different viewpoints and start discussions? Or should liberal arts employers just not require degrees, while techie employers should?
I think I am missing something here! I am trying to employ my overpriced reading comprehension skills, and they are not working .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I am generally on your side with this, but I would like to meet these "liberal arts employers" that you speak of.
I am generally on your side with this, but I would like to meet these "liberal arts employers" that you speak of.
loneal
+0 -0
There must be someone out there hiring journalists and translators and copywriters and editors and stuff. Right? Right?!
There must be someone out there hiring journalists and translators and copywriters and editors and stuff. Right? Right?!
hamscout
+0 -0
loneal,
After 9 years out in the workforce with an English/Communication major and minors in Creative and Scientific/Technical Writing, I believe that the existence of those jobs is a LIE , perpetuated by the bastards that make up those books and pamphlets on "The jobs you'll be able to readily get with Xxxx Major..."
I think I'll write my own series of those papers, in which all chosen majors lead to a single page that states:
You will get the job you want immediately if you can check 'Yes' for at least one of the following:
[ ] A family member is president of the company
[ ] While finishing your degree, you worked 40-plus hours a week at the company of your choice as an unpaid intern to gain the necessary experience. (While also working a second job to pay for tuition and foodstuffs.
[ ] You are going into the field of creating employment handouts like this.
[ ] You are willing to work for below minimum wage, whilst doing the work of two full-time employees who both recently quit due to exhaustion.
[ ] Ain't this just sick as hell???
loneal,
After 9 years out in the workforce with an English/Communication major and minors in Creative and Scientific/Technical Writing, I believe that the existence of those jobs is a LIE , perpetuated by the bastards that make up those books and pamphlets on "The jobs you'll be able to readily get with Xxxx Major..."
I think I'll write my own series of those papers, in which all chosen majors lead to a single page that states:
You will get the job you want immediately if you can check 'Yes' for at least one of the following:
[ ] A family member is president of the company
[ ] While finishing your degree, you worked 40-plus hours a week at the company of your choice as an unpaid intern to gain the necessary experience. (While also working a second job to pay for tuition and foodstuffs.
[ ] You are going into the field of creating employment handouts like this.
[ ] You are willing to work for below minimum wage, whilst doing the work of two full-time employees who both recently quit due to exhaustion.
[ ] Ain't this just sick as hell???
lateadopter
+0 -0
All y'all narrow-minded. Liberal arts education is supposed to broaden the mind and teach you to think.
I got a degree in a foreign language, worked overseas for few years, came back to the US, and ended up in finance, never having taken any accounting or even math courses in college. No formal training, just aptitude, willingness to work, ability to think problems through, and skill at communicating more than one viewpoint . Now I earn more than my mother and sisters, who are doctors. (That undoubtedly has to do with my being male rather than anything that actually should matter.)
Get your degree in something, be willing to take on more than your current job description, then stick with an employer long enough to get promoted. Doesn't fucking matter what you started with if you do the goddamned job.
All y'all narrow-minded. Liberal arts education is supposed to broaden the mind and teach you to think.
I got a degree in a foreign language, worked overseas for few years, came back to the US, and ended up in finance, never having taken any accounting or even math courses in college. No formal training, just aptitude, willingness to work, ability to think problems through, and skill at communicating more than one viewpoint . Now I earn more than my mother and sisters, who are doctors. (That undoubtedly has to do with my being male rather than anything that actually should matter.)
Get your degree in something, be willing to take on more than your current job description, then stick with an employer long enough to get promoted. Doesn't fucking matter what you started with if you do the goddamned job.
stereo
+0 -0
Interestingly, my aunt got a job as an actuary because her headhunter gave her the exact same aptitude test that the company later tested her with.
So don't discount randomly being handed a job for no reason other than being in the right place with the right information.
Interestingly, my aunt got a job as an actuary because her headhunter gave her the exact same aptitude test that the company later tested her with.
So don't discount randomly being handed a job for no reason other than being in the right place with the right information.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I... I work for a production company and work as a freelance writer. I'm a year out of college. I have two writing majors and a history major.
They exist, you just have to 1. work your ass off 2. network and 3. be insanely lucky. That's all.
I... I work for a production company and work as a freelance writer. I'm a year out of college. I have two writing majors and a history major.
They exist, you just have to 1. work your ass off 2. network and 3. be insanely lucky. That's all.
spinynorman
+1 -0
I got an education in English Honors and Government. I now have a semi-respectable position in a technology center. I don't know much about computers. I'm fairly certain I got promoted exclusively because I was able to communicate ideas and explain things to other people in streamlined ways that make sense. That and my emails make fucking sense.
You can know all the shit you want in the world, but if you can't explain it then it's goddamn worthless.
...there's that and the publishing thing. But I won't talk about that yet.
I got an education in English Honors and Government. I now have a semi-respectable position in a technology center. I don't know much about computers. I'm fairly certain I got promoted exclusively because I was able to communicate ideas and explain things to other people in streamlined ways that make sense. That and my emails make fucking sense.
You can know all the shit you want in the world, but if you can't explain it then it's goddamn worthless.
...there's that and the publishing thing. But I won't talk about that yet.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Spinynorman's a novelist, everyone! Crowd around!
Spinynorman's a novelist, everyone! Crowd around!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Can we all get on the acknowledgments page?
Can we all get on the acknowledgments page?
pogo
+0 -0
Dedicated to the Assetbarbarians who encouraged me and stuck with me during the lean years in the tech center, and especially my dear "achilleselbow" whose love and affection will be with me always.
Dedicated to the Assetbarbarians who encouraged me and stuck with me during the lean years in the tech center, and especially my dear "achilleselbow" whose love and affection will be with me always.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Man, that shit just went through but the pub biz ain't exactly like a newspaper printer. It's not coming out til 2010 so I don't want to talk it up because then it'll be like a long distance-relationship, "I'll totally make out with you when I get home from Germany in 2 years, just stay chaste and keep me in mind until then"
That is just straight-up lame.
Man, that shit just went through but the pub biz ain't exactly like a newspaper printer. It's not coming out til 2010 so I don't want to talk it up because then it'll be like a long distance-relationship, "I'll totally make out with you when I get home from Germany in 2 years, just stay chaste and keep me in mind until then"
That is just straight-up lame.
notcool
+1 -0
You know what? My brain goes on wild tangents on either side of the road. And I can tell you that even though I use my math and science background daily to make my life and those around me easier, the arts have elevated my life from existence to something worthwhile.
What it comes down to is basically two choices: You could either hate your job, makes lots of money, and live for your vacations, or love your job, be constantly broke, and wake up wanting to go to work. I work Security, just got my EMT, and am going to go Paramedic. I don't get paid squat, but I wake up every morning (erm...night) knowing that what I do is good, and it keeps my heart, the wellspring of life, alive and happy. You may decide that you want to vacation in Europe twice a year. That's your decision. But none of us are factory perfect, and we should all be careful saying any way is better than any other, 'cause we only see things from our own perspective.
In short: Rock on with whatever decision floats your boat.
You know what? My brain goes on wild tangents on either side of the road. And I can tell you that even though I use my math and science background daily to make my life and those around me easier, the arts have elevated my life from existence to something worthwhile.
What it comes down to is basically two choices: You could either hate your job, makes lots of money, and live for your vacations, or love your job, be constantly broke, and wake up wanting to go to work. I work Security, just got my EMT, and am going to go Paramedic. I don't get paid squat, but I wake up every morning (erm...night) knowing that what I do is good, and it keeps my heart, the wellspring of life, alive and happy. You may decide that you want to vacation in Europe twice a year. That's your decision. But none of us are factory perfect, and we should all be careful saying any way is better than any other, 'cause we only see things from our own perspective.
In short: Rock on with whatever decision floats your boat.
hamscout
+0 -0
Very admirable! A toast and a v-chub to your success!
I can't even find anyone who wants to hire me at low pay for the work I want to do. They tell me I'm over-qualified, and over-experienced in an unrelated area.
Fuck. Sorry about the bitchin', folks. I just can't wait for the sunshine fairyland that the economy will be when the next president takes over. (That's what happens, right??)
Very admirable! A toast and a v-chub to your success!
I can't even find anyone who wants to hire me at low pay for the work I want to do. They tell me I'm over-qualified, and over-experienced in an unrelated area.
Fuck. Sorry about the bitchin', folks. I just can't wait for the sunshine fairyland that the economy will be when the next president takes over. (That's what happens, right??)
davey-boy
+0 -0
I am not saying everyone should have a science or computer based job, hell, I have a crippling fear of flourescent lighting myself. It is just that you have all the same job opportunities (barring the skim few jobs your education may qualify you for that every other liberal arts major is vying for), so in that instance, why not work instead? Not the best idea in the world, but I cringe every time I hear a graduate 'thinking of maybe taking graphic design'.
Post graduate studies open a great variety of jobs available to those who have an idea of what they want out of it, otherwise, they are more than content to pad their wallets with those who don't.
I am not saying everyone should have a science or computer based job, hell, I have a crippling fear of flourescent lighting myself. It is just that you have all the same job opportunities (barring the skim few jobs your education may qualify you for that every other liberal arts major is vying for), so in that instance, why not work instead? Not the best idea in the world, but I cringe every time I hear a graduate 'thinking of maybe taking graphic design'.
Post graduate studies open a great variety of jobs available to those who have an idea of what they want out of it, otherwise, they are more than content to pad their wallets with those who don't.
snidedk
+0 -0
Of course, the upside of a liberal arts education is that they have way more fun than engineers/engineering students do. I mean, while they're out partying, getting sloshed and having wild orgies (I like to think that this is what liberal arts students do... it makes me glad inside), we're stuck in the computer lab at midnight doing fourier transforms and trying to figure out how to apply a noise filter to the recording we just made of ourselves saying "the green leafy tree provides plenty of shade" so that we can pass our signals and systems class, all while trying to ignore the smell of the pizza soaked in spilled energy drink coming from the next table over, where some guy wearing a Zelda shirt is splitting his time between writing code in C to make pikachu do cartwheels across the screen, reading Gizmodo, and asking people's shoes the occasional question about video games. Then once we get a job, we're working for that guy, except now, as part of the wages of sin required to get his engineering degree, he's completely taken leave of his common sense.
A perfect example: at work, we had gotten in a deep fat fryer that was on an oil rig when it caught on fire, and were supposed to disassemble it to figure out what had gone wrong. We spent a couple days working on it, figured out why it had burst into flames, then had to put it back together so the customer could take it to court or something. Picture a big box, about two feet high by three feet long, with the short end open on one side, and you've got the idea. Also, envision it completely coated in a fairly thick layer of grease, animal fat, and other detritus. This box was propped up at about a 45 degree angle or so, with the open side up, so that our engineer could see in and reassemble the thing when - oops! - he drops a tiny little fuse or something inside. He spends the next four hours first feeling around blindly for the part, then grabbing a flashlight and dental mirror to probe the inside of the fryer. Needless to say that, before long, this engineer's hands and arms were coated in yummy animal drippings. I clocked in later that day and the project of finding the missing part was foisted upon me. I spent a minute staring blankly at the light and mirror, then did what any reasonable person would do - I tilted the fryer the other direction and let the part fall back out.
Anyway, my long tangential anecdote aside, an engineering education might be less "superfluous" than a liberal arts education, given that there are a lot of skills learned in an engineering or science degree that nobody in their right mind would want to pick up otherwise. Those folks might even make more money in the workforce, sure, but I think that's really just compensation for having to take engineering classes and work with engineers for the rest of your life. Really, I'm not sure who comes out ahead in that race.
Of course, the upside of a liberal arts education is that they have way more fun than engineers/engineering students do. I mean, while they're out partying, getting sloshed and having wild orgies (I like to think that this is what liberal arts students do... it makes me glad inside), we're stuck in the computer lab at midnight doing fourier transforms and trying to figure out how to apply a noise filter to the recording we just made of ourselves saying "the green leafy tree provides plenty of shade" so that we can pass our signals and systems class, all while trying to ignore the smell of the pizza soaked in spilled energy drink coming from the next table over, where some guy wearing a Zelda shirt is splitting his time between writing code in C to make pikachu do cartwheels across the screen, reading Gizmodo, and asking people's shoes the occasional question about video games. Then once we get a job, we're working for that guy, except now, as part of the wages of sin required to get his engineering degree, he's completely taken leave of his common sense.
A perfect example: at work, we had gotten in a deep fat fryer that was on an oil rig when it caught on fire, and were supposed to disassemble it to figure out what had gone wrong. We spent a couple days working on it, figured out why it had burst into flames, then had to put it back together so the customer could take it to court or something. Picture a big box, about two feet high by three feet long, with the short end open on one side, and you've got the idea. Also, envision it completely coated in a fairly thick layer of grease, animal fat, and other detritus. This box was propped up at about a 45 degree angle or so, with the open side up, so that our engineer could see in and reassemble the thing when - oops! - he drops a tiny little fuse or something inside. He spends the next four hours first feeling around blindly for the part, then grabbing a flashlight and dental mirror to probe the inside of the fryer. Needless to say that, before long, this engineer's hands and arms were coated in yummy animal drippings. I clocked in later that day and the project of finding the missing part was foisted upon me. I spent a minute staring blankly at the light and mirror, then did what any reasonable person would do - I tilted the fryer the other direction and let the part fall back out.
Anyway, my long tangential anecdote aside, an engineering education might be less "superfluous" than a liberal arts education, given that there are a lot of skills learned in an engineering or science degree that nobody in their right mind would want to pick up otherwise. Those folks might even make more money in the workforce, sure, but I think that's really just compensation for having to take engineering classes and work with engineers for the rest of your life. Really, I'm not sure who comes out ahead in that race.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I will chime in again. Do both. Focus on a libarts thing, then learn an applicable skill. My boss is a former top-end Literary Criticism junkie, professor at Princeton. He programs computers and tries to make me work, and makes more money than God. The best path in life involves knowing how to enjoy your existence, and having the means to DO those things.
Creative writers should follow the path of Toni Morrison. Get an MFA. Become an editor, while honing your own craft. When you have a solid product, you will have an easy time getting published. I have two friends that did this (well, not quite at the published part), and they love it. Enough money to live a good life, and plenty of opportunity to write, and interact with writers.
I will chime in again. Do both. Focus on a libarts thing, then learn an applicable skill. My boss is a former top-end Literary Criticism junkie, professor at Princeton. He programs computers and tries to make me work, and makes more money than God. The best path in life involves knowing how to enjoy your existence, and having the means to DO those things.
Creative writers should follow the path of Toni Morrison. Get an MFA. Become an editor, while honing your own craft. When you have a solid product, you will have an easy time getting published. I have two friends that did this (well, not quite at the published part), and they love it. Enough money to live a good life, and plenty of opportunity to write, and interact with writers.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Hey, not everyone who majors in the sciences is going to find a job either. For example, I am a biology major. Without having some level of postgraduate education, there will be NO jobs for me. On the other hand, I like biology and I want to take it further. That doesn't mean I'm wasting money, if I am ultimately happy with my education and job. So if it's true that liberal arts degrees are a waste of money, it's also true that a bunch of other fields are a waste of money. In this line of thinking, people should just stick to strictly vocational training, because any job that allows you a level of autonomy is probably going to require years of schooling past the undergrad level.
Hey, not everyone who majors in the sciences is going to find a job either. For example, I am a biology major. Without having some level of postgraduate education, there will be NO jobs for me. On the other hand, I like biology and I want to take it further. That doesn't mean I'm wasting money, if I am ultimately happy with my education and job. So if it's true that liberal arts degrees are a waste of money, it's also true that a bunch of other fields are a waste of money. In this line of thinking, people should just stick to strictly vocational training, because any job that allows you a level of autonomy is probably going to require years of schooling past the undergrad level.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I (and most engineers) view pure science as basically libarts. Hell, at my local school (GO SOONERS) they are often in the same college. Arts and Sciences. Where brilliant people go to starve. Business and Engineering are the big moneymakers, along with a few others in various colleges. But as that guy up there said, you have to deal with the culture as payment. Either greasy engineers or slimy business types.
Or just get any damn degree and go into Law.
I (and most engineers) view pure science as basically libarts. Hell, at my local school (GO SOONERS) they are often in the same college. Arts and Sciences. Where brilliant people go to starve. Business and Engineering are the big moneymakers, along with a few others in various colleges. But as that guy up there said, you have to deal with the culture as payment. Either greasy engineers or slimy business types.
Or just get any damn degree and go into Law.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Go! I'm planning to do a law conversion on my Japanese with German Studies BA.
If I get my grades next Thursday, that is.
Go! I'm planning to do a law conversion on my Japanese with German Studies BA.
If I get my grades next Thursday, that is.
davey-boy
+0 -0
II will state this one last time for those who can be trifled with reading it; I am not an engineer, in any conventional sense. I am a soldier, a combat engineer. There is little or no engineering involved, mostly clearing mines, blowing things up, building fortifications and bridges and occasionally shooting people, when deployed, and doing exercises to practice these skills or sitting around doing nothing productive when I am not. Forgive the run on sentence.
What I was railing against, really, speaking from a perspective of someone who had to pay for and eventually give up his own education, that one ought carefully consider the practical use of his chosen field of education, rather than wasting time.
If you want to bring up again that your chosen field of education may be fun, I would answer that so are X-boxes. I think they are a hundred bucks, and will occupy your time as completely.
II will state this one last time for those who can be trifled with reading it; I am not an engineer, in any conventional sense. I am a soldier, a combat engineer. There is little or no engineering involved, mostly clearing mines, blowing things up, building fortifications and bridges and occasionally shooting people, when deployed, and doing exercises to practice these skills or sitting around doing nothing productive when I am not. Forgive the run on sentence.
What I was railing against, really, speaking from a perspective of someone who had to pay for and eventually give up his own education, that one ought carefully consider the practical use of his chosen field of education, rather than wasting time.
If you want to bring up again that your chosen field of education may be fun, I would answer that so are X-boxes. I think they are a hundred bucks, and will occupy your time as completely.
irondave
+0 -0
Combat Engineer High-Five!
(Erstwhile Lt, EN, Missouri National Guard)
Combat Engineer High-Five!
(Erstwhile Lt, EN, Missouri National Guard)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's not about 'fun' in the same sense that an Xbox is. It's about expanding your mind, learning how to think and analyze things on a deeper level, and just generally enriching your experience of the world. Can this be done on your own without a college degree? Sure, but it's generally much harder. And if you do happen to find a career in that field, it is much more likely to be one that you are actually personally interested in and that feels like it's a part of your life where you're accomplishing something important rather than a simple means of support that consists of goal-oriented tasks whose sole purpose is to make more money for the company you work for. Note that this also applies to doctors, research scientists, and some fields of law.
I grew up a poor immigrant who got all of his clothes from garage sales until about 7th grade, and my mom flat out told me that she had no money to pay for college, so believe me, I know where you're coming from. If I hadn't been lucky enough to get a full scholarship to a decent private school, I probably would have gone to community or state and ended up majoring in compsci or something of the sort. But if you have the opportunity, why not do something more enriching? The point is, like I said, having a college degree in anything will usually guarantee that you'll avoid starvation and homelessness. Beyond that, unless you have ambitions of luxury penthouses and BMW's, I see little reason to spend four years and 1/3 of your subsequent life doing something other than what interests you the most.
It's not about 'fun' in the same sense that an Xbox is. It's about expanding your mind, learning how to think and analyze things on a deeper level, and just generally enriching your experience of the world. Can this be done on your own without a college degree? Sure, but it's generally much harder. And if you do happen to find a career in that field, it is much more likely to be one that you are actually personally interested in and that feels like it's a part of your life where you're accomplishing something important rather than a simple means of support that consists of goal-oriented tasks whose sole purpose is to make more money for the company you work for. Note that this also applies to doctors, research scientists, and some fields of law.
I grew up a poor immigrant who got all of his clothes from garage sales until about 7th grade, and my mom flat out told me that she had no money to pay for college, so believe me, I know where you're coming from. If I hadn't been lucky enough to get a full scholarship to a decent private school, I probably would have gone to community or state and ended up majoring in compsci or something of the sort. But if you have the opportunity, why not do something more enriching? The point is, like I said, having a college degree in anything will usually guarantee that you'll avoid starvation and homelessness. Beyond that, unless you have ambitions of luxury penthouses and BMW's, I see little reason to spend four years and 1/3 of your subsequent life doing something other than what interests you the most.
dropkickpikachu
+1 -0
Both of these things happen if you major in Philosophy.
Both of these things happen if you major in Philosophy.
grayestnova
+0 -0
It is highly recommended that if you are to major in philosophy that you believe firmly in some things so that your professor can blow your mind on a regular basis. If you do not go OH WOW all the time people will think that you are stuck up and then you will not be invited to join your universities philosophy club.
It is highly recommended that if you are to major in philosophy that you believe firmly in some things so that your professor can blow your mind on a regular basis. If you do not go OH WOW all the time people will think that you are stuck up and then you will not be invited to join your universities philosophy club.
cmr
+0 -0
A comment left by cmr was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by prius_chaser, S_the_truth_D, mrclarinet)
A comment left by cmr was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by prius_chaser, S_the_truth_D, mrclarinet)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
People often say things and then change their minds. In the media, when someone says something, there is evidence. This is the only difference.
People often say things and then change their minds. In the media, when someone says something, there is evidence. This is the only difference.
sje46
+0 -0
I love the alt-text. Most freebased-next-to baby. I would protest that it isn't true, but my mom did crack, not freebase.
I love the alt-text. Most freebased-next-to baby. I would protest that it isn't true, but my mom did crack, not freebase.
sncether
+0 -0
Well ooh-la-dee-da, Mr. French Man!
Well ooh-la-dee-da, Mr. French Man!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Roast Beef doing philosophy sort of reminds me of Ray being from... History! And Ray wearing proper attyre for footballe. Thoughts?
Roast Beef doing philosophy sort of reminds me of Ray being from... History! And Ray wearing proper attyre for footballe. Thoughts?
falseprophet
+10 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Tankew so much.
Tankew so much.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's true, doing philosophy does make one noticeably more depressed.
It's true, doing philosophy does make one noticeably more depressed.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Beef's eyebrows speak volumes.
Beef's eyebrows speak volumes.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure that's a laurel wreath.
And I'm also pretty sure that the speaking is coming from his mouth. Silly Falseprophet.
I'm pretty sure that's a laurel wreath.
And I'm also pretty sure that the speaking is coming from his mouth. Silly Falseprophet.
fallow_fields
+0 -0
I think that if you take a second gander at the animated .gif, you'll find that Roast Beef does indeed sprout eyebrows, in addition to said laurel wreath
just sayin'.
I think that if you take a second gander at the animated .gif, you'll find that Roast Beef does indeed sprout eyebrows, in addition to said laurel wreath
just sayin'.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yeah, I really didn't convey what I was trying to do there very well.
Sorry, internet!
Yeah, I really didn't convey what I was trying to do there very well.
Sorry, internet!
hbaranov
+0 -0
Shame you couldn't sharpen frame two up.
Shame you couldn't sharpen frame two up.
pogo
+0 -0
He hasn't been bowling recently in Columbine.
He hasn't been bowling recently in Columbine.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Molly is so incredibly wrong about this. There are a lot of terrible times to have a baby. So many awful times, where a smaller, screaming version of you is just going to make things much, much worse.
Also, I could go totally crass and bring up a certain Juggalo baby that made the meme circuit, but I'm not gonna do it. Instead, this:
[IMGS OFF]
start the reactor, juggaho
Molly is so incredibly wrong about this. There are a lot of terrible times to have a baby. So many awful times, where a smaller, screaming version of you is just going to make things much, much worse.
Also, I could go totally crass and bring up a certain Juggalo baby that made the meme circuit, but I'm not gonna do it. Instead, this:
[IMGS OFF]
start the reactor, juggaho
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
And yet the more I think about it the more I think that a smaller version of myself sounds awesome.
And yet the more I think about it the more I think that a smaller version of myself sounds awesome.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A smaller version of myself would be pretty awesome. However, a smaller version of myself if I were severely retarded and incontinent with a whole slew of unpredictable factors influencing my future development in ways that cannot be predicted...not so much.
A smaller version of myself would be pretty awesome. However, a smaller version of myself if I were severely retarded and incontinent with a whole slew of unpredictable factors influencing my future development in ways that cannot be predicted...not so much.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
And don't forget the price tag on that smaller version is around $125K, on average
And don't forget the price tag on that smaller version is around $125K, on average
ann56
+0 -0
But she didn't say "There's no bad time to have a baby." She said "There's no GOOD time to have a baby." Lots of people feel this way--if you wait for the "right" time, you never have kids.
But she didn't say "There's no bad time to have a baby." She said "There's no GOOD time to have a baby." Lots of people feel this way--if you wait for the "right" time, you never have kids.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
There's no good time to buy a house either. Does that mean everybody should go out and buy one regardless of how much money they have?
There's no good time to buy a house either. Does that mean everybody should go out and buy one regardless of how much money they have?
akadriver
+0 -0
If you can afford a 20% down payment and the market is depressed as it is now it is actually an excellent time to buy a house.
When people say "there's no good time to have a baby" that isn't to say that you should have a baby if you don't otherwise want one. It's just that if your only reservation is that you don't have enough time or money, that it's not worth waiting for that situation to improve because it never will.
If you can afford a 20% down payment and the market is depressed as it is now it is actually an excellent time to buy a house.
When people say "there's no good time to have a baby" that isn't to say that you should have a baby if you don't otherwise want one. It's just that if your only reservation is that you don't have enough time or money, that it's not worth waiting for that situation to improve because it never will.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
That 20% downpayment presents a pretty big 'if'.
And while it's true that one can spend pretty much an infinite ammount of money and time on raising a kid and never be entirely sure they've done all they could, I think there's a lot to be said for gaining some level of financial security first. Child poverty is pretty frightening stuff.
That 20% downpayment presents a pretty big 'if'.
And while it's true that one can spend pretty much an infinite ammount of money and time on raising a kid and never be entirely sure they've done all they could, I think there's a lot to be said for gaining some level of financial security first. Child poverty is pretty frightening stuff.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Quote:
The lack of time won't improve if you wait. But the lack of money will. And kids are expensive, so money might come in handy.
Quote:
It's just that if your only reservation is that you don't have enough time or money, that it's not worth waiting for that situation to improve because it never will.
The lack of time won't improve if you wait. But the lack of money will. And kids are expensive, so money might come in handy.
verbose
+0 -0
Only if you feed them.
Only if you feed them.
Please note: I would like the repetition to be read in a wistful, mystical voice that would accompany a flashback in your sitcom of choice.
Only if you feed them.
Only if you feed them.
Please note: I would like the repetition to be read in a wistful, mystical voice that would accompany a flashback in your sitcom of choice.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Can this sitcom be my upbringing?
Can this sitcom be my upbringing?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Meh, 10% is a fine down payment. PMI is reasonable for a few years if you have an expectation that you can kill it off within three or so through principal prepayments
Meh, 10% is a fine down payment. PMI is reasonable for a few years if you have an expectation that you can kill it off within three or so through principal prepayments
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Every now and then you say things that make me imagine that you have enough money to actually become a robot in a pimp coat wearing gold rings.
Yes. This is what I imagine rich people do with their money.
Every now and then you say things that make me imagine that you have enough money to actually become a robot in a pimp coat wearing gold rings.
Yes. This is what I imagine rich people do with their money.
akadriver
+0 -0
Back in the heady days when you could expect your house to double in value every ten seconds, I put down a 10% down payment by immediately rolling the other 10% into a HELOC. I wouldn't recommend that now. But I'm a guy on a message board for a cartoon.
Back in the heady days when you could expect your house to double in value every ten seconds, I put down a 10% down payment by immediately rolling the other 10% into a HELOC. I wouldn't recommend that now. But I'm a guy on a message board for a cartoon.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Back in the day a second mortgage to get to 20% was common, because both are treated the same taxwise. Whereas paying PMI wasn't. That's been fixed, so are as well off just paying PMI now, which is deductable. Saves a ton of paperwork.
I'm kinda into this sort of thing because I have had to become an expert on mortgages in the general market lately. Not a single one of our clients (who use our software in their mortgage section) have folded yet. I like to think this is entirely because of me, despite the fact that I spend half my day posting here, playing foosball, Wii, Guitar Hero and poker.
Back in the day a second mortgage to get to 20% was common, because both are treated the same taxwise. Whereas paying PMI wasn't. That's been fixed, so are as well off just paying PMI now, which is deductable. Saves a ton of paperwork.
I'm kinda into this sort of thing because I have had to become an expert on mortgages in the general market lately. Not a single one of our clients (who use our software in their mortgage section) have folded yet. I like to think this is entirely because of me, despite the fact that I spend half my day posting here, playing foosball, Wii, Guitar Hero and poker.
octafish
+0 -0
You just keep doing what you're doing 'cause it seems to be working.
You just keep doing what you're doing 'cause it seems to be working.
skoora
+0 -0
It took me a while to realize that's a French guy calling them pigs and not Pat using some insult only a dick would use.
It took me a while to realize that's a French guy calling them pigs and not Pat using some insult only a dick would use.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ditto. I was like "is it short for peons? NO ITS NOT DAMMIT NICK YOU PEEG" Then I figured it out.
Ditto. I was like "is it short for peons? NO ITS NOT DAMMIT NICK YOU PEEG" Then I figured it out.
ashoykh
+0 -0
i was looking up 'peeg' on urban dictionary, and they I was going to pretend to be 'in the know'...turns out that wasn't necessary.
i was looking up 'peeg' on urban dictionary, and they I was going to pretend to be 'in the know'...turns out that wasn't necessary.
ashoykh
+0 -0
I say there are bad times to not have a baby. For example; free balloons are being given out by a street performer. If you have a baby, you get TWO free balloons instead of ONE.
I say there are bad times to not have a baby. For example; free balloons are being given out by a street performer. If you have a baby, you get TWO free balloons instead of ONE.
thegoblins
+0 -0
This brought to mind a very small child who doesn't know how babies are made, wide-eyed and straining in an effort to magically pop out a baby.
It's what I would have done.
This brought to mind a very small child who doesn't know how babies are made, wide-eyed and straining in an effort to magically pop out a baby.
It's what I would have done.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
The second exchange between Beef and Molly just summed up the entire population of Northeast Ohio outside of Cleveland.
The second exchange between Beef and Molly just summed up the entire population of Northeast Ohio outside of Cleveland.
dino_grill
+0 -0
hahah i know someone under the age of 25 who has insane clown posse tattoos
he sells drugs and is "depressed" but is otherwise intensely boring
hahah i know someone under the age of 25 who has insane clown posse tattoos
he sells drugs and is "depressed" but is otherwise intensely boring
harrisonbender
+0 -0
Maybe he's depressed because he has has Insane Clown Posse tattoos :-(
Maybe he's depressed because he has has Insane Clown Posse tattoos :-(
phy
+0 -0
And you make poor life choices when you're depressed... it's a vicious spiral
And you make poor life choices when you're depressed... it's a vicious spiral
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Psychological Scientists have been trying for years to discover the causeative direction between ICP and Depression.
How they get that shit past Ethics is beyond me.
Psychological Scientists have been trying for years to discover the causeative direction between ICP and Depression.
How they get that shit past Ethics is beyond me.
stereo
+0 -0
They can't decide whether it's ethical until the study is complete, of course! Scientists are allowed to do pretty much anything until it's shown to be unethical.
They can't decide whether it's ethical until the study is complete, of course! Scientists are allowed to do pretty much anything until it's shown to be unethical.
randombeing
+0 -0
I wish I could give this a 6.
I wish I could give this a 6.
scott
+0 -0
This is not a comic strip, this is a cry for help.
This is not a comic strip, this is a cry for help.
harrisonbender
+0 -0
A little roast beef!!!
Veal, anyone? har har
A little roast beef!!!
Veal, anyone? har har
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm not sure how you think that's appropriate. I am frankly disgusted.
Hedonismbot, I think I need a rape joke to clear my mind of that filth.
I'm not sure how you think that's appropriate. I am frankly disgusted.
Hedonismbot, I think I need a rape joke to clear my mind of that filth.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'll go with Carlin on this one. Any time you start thinking that rape can't possibly be funny, imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Cracks my ass every time.
I'll go with Carlin on this one. Any time you start thinking that rape can't possibly be funny, imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Cracks my ass every time.
bixschmix
+1 -0
Cracks your ass? You have psychosomatic sympathetic rape injuries? I... I don't know how to take that.
Cracks your ass? You have psychosomatic sympathetic rape injuries? I... I don't know how to take that.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I'm guessing he takes it with a little smirk and then a wince...
then a smirk.
I'm guessing he takes it with a little smirk and then a wince...
then a smirk.
irondave
+0 -0
Although Molly becomes progressively more exasperated with Beef, not all of her reasoning is persuasive.
She is right, though, you do just have to start.
Although Molly becomes progressively more exasperated with Beef, not all of her reasoning is persuasive.
She is right, though, you do just have to start.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I purport that the only ingredients really are:
1)A Happy Couple.
2)Stable income.
3)Desire to have children.
This is open to debate. No. 3) is the most difficult one to determine.
I purport that the only ingredients really are:
1)A Happy Couple.
2)Stable income.
3)Desire to have children.
This is open to debate. No. 3) is the most difficult one to determine.
irondave
+0 -0
I can't really argue with your list. Molly's point is that there are always reasons not to procreate and uncertainty associated with the whole venture. She is not communicating effectively, yet I was not offended by the "being a man" comment.
I can't really argue with your list. Molly's point is that there are always reasons not to procreate and uncertainty associated with the whole venture. She is not communicating effectively, yet I was not offended by the "being a man" comment.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
The offence comes from it's paradigm. Molly assumes that "being a man" is accepting responsibility. But as we all know (including her), the same goes for "being a woman". Basically, I think Molly is identifying the difference, in a gender specific way, between Beef as a irresponsible boy and a responsible man. I assume this, because I assume Molly isn't sexist. Unfortunately her way of communicating is laden. And because language is always surrounded on all sides by the unexplained, people should give people a bit more leeway with their implied meanings.
Semantics. Boo.
The offence comes from it's paradigm. Molly assumes that "being a man" is accepting responsibility. But as we all know (including her), the same goes for "being a woman". Basically, I think Molly is identifying the difference, in a gender specific way, between Beef as a irresponsible boy and a responsible man. I assume this, because I assume Molly isn't sexist. Unfortunately her way of communicating is laden. And because language is always surrounded on all sides by the unexplained, people should give people a bit more leeway with their implied meanings.
Semantics. Boo.
loneal
+2 -1
She may not be sexist per se, but she certainly seems to buy into traditional gender roles. Aside from the whole "be a man" thing we've just witnessed, there was also the time she talked about how women have to correct for a gender that would, um, eat farts or something. It is a pretty tired trope to see men and women in a domestic location, the woman competent and aggravated because the man is utterly incompetent. Suffice it to say, I think that meme is insulting to both genders.
She may not be sexist per se, but she certainly seems to buy into traditional gender roles. Aside from the whole "be a man" thing we've just witnessed, there was also the time she talked about how women have to correct for a gender that would, um, eat farts or something. It is a pretty tired trope to see men and women in a domestic location, the woman competent and aggravated because the man is utterly incompetent. Suffice it to say, I think that meme is insulting to both genders.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I'd go further in trying to explain this to people who might think we are just being oversensitive PC leftists. For me, at least, it's not even primarily a political/gender matter like in Pat's flowchart where I would see something and first think "oh that makes sense" and then realize "hey, that's offensive!" Rather, my immediate response when I see such portrayals is that they are tired cliches and just not that funny or original and are trying to provoke some sort of response of identification or solidarity from me that I can't provide because my life experience is simply not like that. Of course I realize that other people, possibly even a majority may identify with such things, but the whole point of good art is that it's supposed to transcend simplistic old cliches rather than wallowing in them.
I'd go further in trying to explain this to people who might think we are just being oversensitive PC leftists. For me, at least, it's not even primarily a political/gender matter like in Pat's flowchart where I would see something and first think "oh that makes sense" and then realize "hey, that's offensive!" Rather, my immediate response when I see such portrayals is that they are tired cliches and just not that funny or original and are trying to provoke some sort of response of identification or solidarity from me that I can't provide because my life experience is simply not like that. Of course I realize that other people, possibly even a majority may identify with such things, but the whole point of good art is that it's supposed to transcend simplistic old cliches rather than wallowing in them.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
What bugs me about these tropes is that it often seems that Onstad often seems to expect us to support Molly in enforcing them on Beef.
What bugs me about these tropes is that it often seems that Onstad often seems to expect us to support Molly in enforcing them on Beef.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Oh. OK. I was just saying that Molly may have just been telling Beef to grow up. Not that he should begin embodying the cliched-epitomy of a "Man". Unfortunately you can't say "be a man" and not have the sentence laden.
Oh. OK. I was just saying that Molly may have just been telling Beef to grow up. Not that he should begin embodying the cliched-epitomy of a "Man". Unfortunately you can't say "be a man" and not have the sentence laden.
meetzorp
+0 -0
That's pretty much how I read it. Be a man rather than a little boy. She's saying, "grow up, already!" Not "grow a big nutsack you little sissy."
That's pretty much how I read it. Be a man rather than a little boy. She's saying, "grow up, already!" Not "grow a big nutsack you little sissy."
octafish
+0 -0
All this talk of being a man is reminding me of Kipling's If . Read it and you'll be a Man my son.
All this talk of being a man is reminding me of Kipling's If . Read it and you'll be a Man my son.
contrasoma
+0 -0
I've listened to the Macho Man Randy Savage's Hulk Hogan diss track (yes, really) " Be A Man " far too many times to ever again take that phrase seriously.
I've listened to the Macho Man Randy Savage's Hulk Hogan diss track (yes, really) " Be A Man " far too many times to ever again take that phrase seriously.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Oh my goodness that's awesome. Though I personally prefer Hogan's work .
Oh my goodness that's awesome. Though I personally prefer Hogan's work .
contrasoma
+0 -0
Oh, I agree. "Hulk Rules" is hands-down my favourite worst record ever, although the sheer weirdness of a couple of the songs on "Wrestlemania: The Album" gives it a run for its money (namely Savage's psychadelic scatting and Bret Hart's attempt at a ballad).
Is there a greater joy than parading about one's domicile on an early Saturday morn, clad only in undergarments, joyfully singing " I want to be a Hulkamaniac / Have fun with my family and friends " to the melodious strains of the Wrestling Boot Band? If there be a sweeter succour, then it only lieth in the fields of Elysium.
PS: Always go swimming with a buddy.
Oh, I agree. "Hulk Rules" is hands-down my favourite worst record ever, although the sheer weirdness of a couple of the songs on "Wrestlemania: The Album" gives it a run for its money (namely Savage's psychadelic scatting and Bret Hart's attempt at a ballad).
Is there a greater joy than parading about one's domicile on an early Saturday morn, clad only in undergarments, joyfully singing " I want to be a Hulkamaniac / Have fun with my family and friends " to the melodious strains of the Wrestling Boot Band? If there be a sweeter succour, then it only lieth in the fields of Elysium.
PS: Always go swimming with a buddy.
tragicone
+0 -0
but here is a twist: Isn't he transcending the cliches of what good art is supposed to be by playing into them?
but here is a twist: Isn't he transcending the cliches of what good art is supposed to be by playing into them?
thegoblins
+0 -0
As far as Molly's tendencies to nag go, I don't take it as a statement on how all women behave. Beef can be spineless and whiny, so it would make sense that Molly would respond with shrill criticism; she's not a perfect communicator. I don't read into it anything more than that.
As far as Molly's tendencies to nag go, I don't take it as a statement on how all women behave. Beef can be spineless and whiny, so it would make sense that Molly would respond with shrill criticism; she's not a perfect communicator. I don't read into it anything more than that.
sinisterscrawl
+0 -0
This discussion reminded me of one of my all-time favorite Bloom County strips from the '80s--
[IMGS OFF]
This discussion reminded me of one of my all-time favorite Bloom County strips from the '80s--
[IMGS OFF]
sinisterscrawl
+0 -0
(er, sorry if the image got cut off in your browser too...right click > view image if you care to read the whole thing)
(er, sorry if the image got cut off in your browser too...right click > view image if you care to read the whole thing)
saulbellow
+0 -0
Ever notice that over time, people start to act like their avatars?
Ever notice that over time, people start to act like their avatars?
hedonismbot
+1 -0
No, and you can kiss my shiny metal ass for thinking so.
No, and you can kiss my shiny metal ass for thinking so.
saulbellow
+0 -0
I was referring to achilleselbow and his impress-the-ladies-with-humanities-professor-drivel schtick...
BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT AND I WAS ALSO JUST KIDDING
I was referring to achilleselbow and his impress-the-ladies-with-humanities-professor-drivel schtick...
BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT AND I WAS ALSO JUST KIDDING
hedonismbot
+0 -0
(I was speaking in the character of my avatar. I was merely being a cock to a stranger to attempt the funny.)
(I was speaking in the character of my avatar. I was merely being a cock to a stranger to attempt the funny.)
sje46
+0 -0
How can you be an 18 year old male and NOT have seen Futurama?
How can you be an 18 year old male and NOT have seen Futurama?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Am not!
Am not!
saulbellow
+0 -0
Who are you attempting to respond to here?
Who are you attempting to respond to here?
mrclarinet
+0 -0
Agreed. That strip annoyed me too. We seem to agree on this issue, so clearly the next step is for me to ask, can I come and live with you?
Agreed. That strip annoyed me too. We seem to agree on this issue, so clearly the next step is for me to ask, can I come and live with you?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I don't think hedonismbot allows dudes in his basement, but there's no harm in trying. Unless you consider losing all of your skin to be "harm".
I don't think hedonismbot allows dudes in his basement, but there's no harm in trying. Unless you consider losing all of your skin to be "harm".
falseprophet
+0 -0
I just consider anyone who has lost all his skin to be ham.
I just consider anyone who has lost all his skin to be ham.
kamet
+0 -0
(insert obligitory adoration of pork product comment)
(insert obligitory adoration of pork product comment)
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
So what? Some people are happy in traditional gender roles, and Molly has always seemed to be one of those people.
Quote:
She may not be sexist per se, but she certainly seems to buy into traditional gender roles.
So what? Some people are happy in traditional gender roles, and Molly has always seemed to be one of those people.
loneal
+0 -0
Coz she's getting mad at Beef for not conforming to them, and they shouldn't have a baby if Beef doesn't want one.
Coz she's getting mad at Beef for not conforming to them, and they shouldn't have a baby if Beef doesn't want one.
tekende
+0 -0
Actually, I think she's mad at him more because of the way he's going about arguing his point than for not wanting a baby.
Beef's style of argument is fun to read about but not much fun to have levied against you.
Actually, I think she's mad at him more because of the way he's going about arguing his point than for not wanting a baby.
Beef's style of argument is fun to read about but not much fun to have levied against you.
irondave
+0 -0
Oh, NOW I see what the fuss is about. You read "chickening out" as not wanting a baby. I read it only as "changing the subject." Your reading would be fairly offensive, though no more than most of television and quite a bit of the greeting card section. That cliche is tiresome to say the least, but that is not at all the way I read it. I read it instead as "be a grownup about this important issue", but stated, as pointed out above by several others, in an unhelpful way.
Oh, NOW I see what the fuss is about. You read "chickening out" as not wanting a baby. I read it only as "changing the subject." Your reading would be fairly offensive, though no more than most of television and quite a bit of the greeting card section. That cliche is tiresome to say the least, but that is not at all the way I read it. I read it instead as "be a grownup about this important issue", but stated, as pointed out above by several others, in an unhelpful way.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I was so proud it took this long to bust out the gender-role debate. Some part of my soul was hoping it would last til past lunch today. Many parts of my soul dream too much.
I was so proud it took this long to bust out the gender-role debate. Some part of my soul was hoping it would last til past lunch today. Many parts of my soul dream too much.
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
I'm afraid these newlyweds are 0 for 3.
1 is out. Molly would have to be euphorically happy 110% of the time just to bring the couple's average happiness level above "man i should pull the trigger but dang i don't want to inconvenience Ray i mean what must it be like to come home and find some dude's brains all over the ceiling of your pool house damn maybe i should see if i can afford a place of my own to do this in."
2 is probably out. Molly was last seen working at Starbucks, and they're downsizing rather painfully right now.
And 3, well, I'm not sure Beef has paternal aspirations. Maybe if he ended up with a spare Wonder Bread bag and needed something to put in it.
I'm afraid these newlyweds are 0 for 3.
1 is out. Molly would have to be euphorically happy 110% of the time just to bring the couple's average happiness level above "man i should pull the trigger but dang i don't want to inconvenience Ray i mean what must it be like to come home and find some dude's brains all over the ceiling of your pool house damn maybe i should see if i can afford a place of my own to do this in."
2 is probably out. Molly was last seen working at Starbucks, and they're downsizing rather painfully right now.
And 3, well, I'm not sure Beef has paternal aspirations. Maybe if he ended up with a spare Wonder Bread bag and needed something to put in it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Wow. With your avatar there... I'm kind of taint your posts with all kinda bleakness.
Good points though... jeeez.
Wow. With your avatar there... I'm kind of taint your posts with all kinda bleakness.
Good points though... jeeez.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
WHAT THE FUCK! I give up, typo on every god damned comment I've made. Fuck me.
WHAT THE FUCK! I give up, typo on every god damned comment I've made. Fuck me.
postblank
+1 -0
Awwww yeah, woodenteeth. Assetbar just wants to... just wants to...
GET UP INSIDE YOU BA-BY
Awwww yeah, woodenteeth. Assetbar just wants to... just wants to...
GET UP INSIDE YOU BA-BY
kickstart
+0 -0
Woodenteeth! He says this!
Woodenteeth! He says this!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
He's MAKING LOVE IN THIS PLACE!
making love to my face?
He's MAKING LOVE IN THIS PLACE!
making love to my face?
milkpants
+0 -0
i love you achewood
i love you achewood
woodenteeth
+1 -0
I love YOU milkpants.
I love YOU milkpants.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
Do you like ham?
Do you like ham?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I enjoy ham a lot. More than like, less than love - you have lovely eyes.
I enjoy ham a lot. More than like, less than love - you have lovely eyes.
hamscout
+0 -0
...and I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!
...and I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!
mrclarinet
+0 -0
I realise I'm in the minority here but I don't think Molly is really offering very strong arguments for having a baby.
Really she hasn't got past "everybody else is doing it"
I realise I'm in the minority here but I don't think Molly is really offering very strong arguments for having a baby.
Really she hasn't got past "everybody else is doing it"
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Nah, I think a lot of people here would agree. The whole "being a man" line made me throw up in my mouth a little. This is the kind of logic that causes trash people to pop out babies by the dozen because getting girls pregnant is the only way that dudes of low mind can prove their "manhood". Well, that and spinning rims.
Nah, I think a lot of people here would agree. The whole "being a man" line made me throw up in my mouth a little. This is the kind of logic that causes trash people to pop out babies by the dozen because getting girls pregnant is the only way that dudes of low mind can prove their "manhood". Well, that and spinning rims.
mrclarinet
+1 -0
I was actually being charitable and presuming that Molly's reference to beef's insufficient manliness had to do with his (percieved) failure to discuss the matter directly.
But now that I look at it again I think you're right. It seems for all Molly's dislike of her parents' old-fashioned ways she's only questioning the surface of their beliefs, not the substance.
I was actually being charitable and presuming that Molly's reference to beef's insufficient manliness had to do with his (percieved) failure to discuss the matter directly.
But now that I look at it again I think you're right. It seems for all Molly's dislike of her parents' old-fashioned ways she's only questioning the surface of their beliefs, not the substance.
octafish
+0 -0
Actually "being a man" = "not talking about things especially about having a baby", so I think Molly is not really grasping the concept of manhood. Beef is being weak, you cannot avoid the subject, it must be dealt with. So I think in this context "being a man" is the same as "stop being a child" something no-one wants to hear, I'll grant you.
Besides, Beef can't be a man because he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me.
Actually "being a man" = "not talking about things especially about having a baby", so I think Molly is not really grasping the concept of manhood. Beef is being weak, you cannot avoid the subject, it must be dealt with. So I think in this context "being a man" is the same as "stop being a child" something no-one wants to hear, I'll grant you.
Besides, Beef can't be a man because he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I would love to tell you how white your shirts can be. **
** I'm not on the Television.
I would love to tell you how white your shirts can be. **
** I'm not on the Television.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
The idea that maleness is an excuse for being incommunicative is not one I have much time for.
Beef isn't avoiding the subject, at least not for the first two responses (the ones that prompt her to tell him he's not 'being a man'). His first point is absolutely valid, and his second is a colourful but basically spot-on refutation to the idea that, because other people are doing it, they should do it too.
Full disclosure: I really dislike Molly. I think she's well written and realises the character archetype well, but I never want to spend much time around people like her.
The idea that maleness is an excuse for being incommunicative is not one I have much time for.
Beef isn't avoiding the subject, at least not for the first two responses (the ones that prompt her to tell him he's not 'being a man'). His first point is absolutely valid, and his second is a colourful but basically spot-on refutation to the idea that, because other people are doing it, they should do it too.
Full disclosure: I really dislike Molly. I think she's well written and realises the character archetype well, but I never want to spend much time around people like her.
tragicone
+0 -0
much agreed. they are a very over critical type to be sure.
much agreed. they are a very over critical type to be sure.
loneal
+1 -0
I can't really think of an instance of the phrase "Be a man" or its variations that doesn't make me throw up in my mouth a little, though I allow one or two might theoretically exist.
I can't really think of an instance of the phrase "Be a man" or its variations that doesn't make me throw up in my mouth a little, though I allow one or two might theoretically exist.
perilon
+0 -0
If I had a nickel for every time someone said they'd throw up in their mouth a little...
There'd be no need for tinkers?
If I had a nickel for every time someone said they'd throw up in their mouth a little...
There'd be no need for tinkers?
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I never thought that it would be the real Perilon who endued up on my ignore list for a singularly weak attempt to disguise casual invective against Irish Travelers as folk wisdom. But so it was.
I never thought that it would be the real Perilon who endued up on my ignore list for a singularly weak attempt to disguise casual invective against Irish Travelers as folk wisdom. But so it was.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
1) Be a man , use your penis for intercourse.
2) Be a man , earn more (on average) than a woman.
1) Be a man , use your penis for intercourse.
2) Be a man , earn more (on average) than a woman.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
Be a man, be allowed to be sexually promiscuous without being branded a slut
[Be a man, learn BBcode at least sufficiently to bold text]
Be a man, be allowed to be sexually promiscuous without being branded a slut
[Be a man, learn BBcode at least sufficiently to bold text]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Manly!
Manly!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Good surf there... How they named a place in Oz, Manly (after the very manly natives, so quite literally monikered) and all of Oz just shrugs it off, is beyond me.
Good surf there... How they named a place in Oz, Manly (after the very manly natives, so quite literally monikered) and all of Oz just shrugs it off, is beyond me.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'll use my penis for whatever I bloody well want, thank you very much. If I want to paint it yellow and casually dip it into the produce bin, that's my own business.
I'll use my penis for whatever I bloody well want, thank you very much. If I want to paint it yellow and casually dip it into the produce bin, that's my own business.
daidai
+3 -0
Why be casual man, throw a party. Wear a tux.
Why be casual man, throw a party. Wear a tux.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Invite friends. Take photos. Hand out paint.
Invite friends. Take photos. Hand out paint.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Put a little "Organic" sticker on it and see if you can get an extra 50 cents a pound.
Put a little "Organic" sticker on it and see if you can get an extra 50 cents a pound.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
Oh honey look at this one... can't be more than ten cents extra.
Oh honey look at this one... can't be more than ten cents extra.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Maybe so but then the lady won't let you file it to her cultural bin .
Then where will you be? On deadline with nowhere to file that's where.
Maybe so but then the lady won't let you file it to her cultural bin .
Then where will you be? On deadline with nowhere to file that's where.
kickstart
+0 -0
Hello ladies! How are your potassium levels? Perhaps you need an injection .
Hello ladies! How are your potassium levels? Perhaps you need an injection .
mrclarinet
+0 -0
Agreed. I'd feel the same way about "be a woman", although you don't hear it so much (at least, not that exact phrase)
Agreed. I'd feel the same way about "be a woman", although you don't hear it so much (at least, not that exact phrase)
daidai
+0 -0
I will go against my first instinct to type the lyrics of that song from Mulan.
Or at least the lyrics that I remember.
Oh hell
Be a man nanananana nana river
Man with all the force of a great typhoon
Man nananananana na
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
Whew. That was a mistake.
I will go against my first instinct to type the lyrics of that song from Mulan.
Or at least the lyrics that I remember.
Oh hell
Be a man nanananana nana river
Man with all the force of a great typhoon
Man nananananana na
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
Whew. That was a mistake.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
here 'tis.
We must be swift as the coursing* river
(GANG VOCALS: BE A MAN)
With all the force of a great typhoon
(GANG VOCALS)
With all the strength of a raging fire**
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
*i always remembered this as 'raging river'
** i thought this line ended with tiger.
here 'tis.
We must be swift as the coursing* river
(GANG VOCALS: BE A MAN)
With all the force of a great typhoon
(GANG VOCALS)
With all the strength of a raging fire**
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
*i always remembered this as 'raging river'
** i thought this line ended with tiger.
loneal
+0 -1
TIME is racing toward us!
TIME is racing toward us!
tragicone
+0 -0
Ehh, i prefer the song a girl worth fighting for.
For a long time we've been marching off to battle.
In a thundering herd we feel a lot like cattle.
Like the pounding beat
Our aching feet aren't
easy to ignore
Hey, think of instead a girl worth fighting for
Huh?
That's what I said a girl worth fighting for!
I want her paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars
My girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars.
i couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she'll look like. It all depends on what she cooks like,
Beef,
Pork,
Chicken.
Mmmmmmm.
Ehh, i prefer the song a girl worth fighting for.
For a long time we've been marching off to battle.
In a thundering herd we feel a lot like cattle.
Like the pounding beat
Our aching feet aren't
easy to ignore
Hey, think of instead a girl worth fighting for
Huh?
That's what I said a girl worth fighting for!
I want her paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars
My girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars.
i couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she'll look like. It all depends on what she cooks like,
Beef,
Pork,
Chicken.
Mmmmmmm.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Okay, a group of my friends insist on watching this film virtually every time we get together. I don't want to shoot them all (per se), so instead I have resolved to shoot everyone else in my life who mentions it.
I mean, it's set in China during a war! Where's all the kung fu?
Okay, a group of my friends insist on watching this film virtually every time we get together. I don't want to shoot them all (per se), so instead I have resolved to shoot everyone else in my life who mentions it.
I mean, it's set in China during a war! Where's all the kung fu?
tragicone
+0 -0
kung fu was basically a thing of monks.
Besides, they practiced the Martial Arts, not kung-fu.
Martial Arts are such that they can be incorpirated in regular battle. But no straight-up battle much ever happened in Mulan.
Also, here is alittle fun thing to notice from mulan; In the scene where the three guys dress up as women to get close to the big bad mongolian dude they each stuff their shirt with different fruit. However, Yao has two different fruits in his bra... to hilarious results!
kung fu was basically a thing of monks.
Besides, they practiced the Martial Arts, not kung-fu.
Martial Arts are such that they can be incorpirated in regular battle. But no straight-up battle much ever happened in Mulan.
Also, here is alittle fun thing to notice from mulan; In the scene where the three guys dress up as women to get close to the big bad mongolian dude they each stuff their shirt with different fruit. However, Yao has two different fruits in his bra... to hilarious results!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I will make sure to watch out for that hilarious irreverency next time I find myself watching it.
(Actually I will likely pour myself some rum and go and talk to the one other person in the room who isn't singing along.)
I will make sure to watch out for that hilarious irreverency next time I find myself watching it.
(Actually I will likely pour myself some rum and go and talk to the one other person in the room who isn't singing along.)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My favorite fact about that film is an issue with an accent. When some major guy (I don't remember who) says something about seeking honor for China, his accent makes it sound EXACTLY like "seek on a... vagina". I laughed out loud in the movie theater. The girls around me all died inside because it was us and a pile of children.
My favorite fact about that film is an issue with an accent. When some major guy (I don't remember who) says something about seeking honor for China, his accent makes it sound EXACTLY like "seek on a... vagina". I laughed out loud in the movie theater. The girls around me all died inside because it was us and a pile of children.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Okay, now that I will watch it for.
Okay, now that I will watch it for.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Q: How do you get to be President of the United States?
A: Be a man.
Q: How do you get to be President of the United States?
A: Be a man.
stereo
+0 -0
President of the United States, what news from the North?
President of the United States, what news from the North?
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
The Canadians still suspect nothing.
The Canadians still suspect nothing.
kamet
+0 -0
Wait, what am I not suspecting?? Fill me in here, k?
Wait, what am I not suspecting?? Fill me in here, k?
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Our secret plan to steal the maple syrup and use it to power our--HEY! Wait a minute! Stop trying to trick me like that!
Our secret plan to steal the maple syrup and use it to power our--HEY! Wait a minute! Stop trying to trick me like that!
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Yeah, just arbitrarily throwing out the "you're not a real maaaan because you won't do this" is pretty weak. I'd expect better out of the lady who so tenderly removed the toast from within her love's maw, so many smiles a g o . . .
I just hope it doesn't come to her lying about taking her cunt pills.
Yeah, just arbitrarily throwing out the "you're not a real maaaan because you won't do this" is pretty weak. I'd expect better out of the lady who so tenderly removed the toast from within her love's maw, so many smiles a g o . . .
I just hope it doesn't come to her lying about taking her cunt pills.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he does wear gunny sacks though.
he does wear gunny sacks though.
loneal
+0 -1
Holy daikon root!
Holy daikon root!
tragicone
+0 -0
ahh, the Japanese radish. I prefer the red European radish, myself.
ahh, the Japanese radish. I prefer the red European radish, myself.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
For the purpose implied here? I can't think of anything that's right with that decision.
For the purpose implied here? I can't think of anything that's right with that decision.
tragicone
+0 -0
i can...
I'm off to turn on my weeping machine so I can practice ignoring it.
i can...
I'm off to turn on my weeping machine so I can practice ignoring it.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Yeah, that ways a lot about him as a man
Yeah, that ways a lot about him as a man
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Says a lot.
Man, when I fuck up something, I'm just going to leave it. Mock me if you will, I feel like half my work day is spent pointing out my own mistakes on AssBar
Says a lot.
Man, when I fuck up something, I'm just going to leave it. Mock me if you will, I feel like half my work day is spent pointing out my own mistakes on AssBar
pogo
+0 -0
It was a mistake to say that at work. They have records, you know. Wait, I'm at work, too!
It was a mistake to say that at work. They have records, you know. Wait, I'm at work, too!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Real men buy land. FUCK spinning rims.
Real men buy land. FUCK spinning rims.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh hee hee!
Oh hee hee!
saulbellow
+0 -0
Actually, she's gotten just a tad past that, to "everybody else is doing it - even poors."
Actually, she's gotten just a tad past that, to "everybody else is doing it - even poors."
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Pep Boys Employee = 5 year olds playdoh figure of a anthropomorphic cat, after being in the sun for half an hour...
...or the brother of Teodors Mikey Mouse Pancake.
Pep Boys Employee = 5 year olds playdoh figure of a anthropomorphic cat, after being in the sun for half an hour...
...or the brother of Teodors Mikey Mouse Pancake.
drpipt
+0 -0
A Classic.
A Classic.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HEY! People that normally photoshop stuff and make really awesome things: Any chance you can make an animate icon of those three Beef poses (discussing, thinking, Philosophy) for me?
I will basically be forever in your debt.
HEY! People that normally photoshop stuff and make really awesome things: Any chance you can make an animate icon of those three Beef poses (discussing, thinking, Philosophy) for me?
I will basically be forever in your debt.
latterman
+1 -1
Well hell if Molly didn't bring just the weakest arguments ever for having a baby. So people half your age are having babies due about 80% to the fact that they follow some outlandish belief system in which it is forbidden to murder unborn children yet everyone holds secret parties whenever someone gets capital punishment for looking at a can of corn funny at the supermarket. So what ?! I'm just hoping Molly don't ride that wild logic to the point of suggesting other potentially life-fucking activities kids half their age are doing (elegantly disheveled haircuts, Gwen Stefani albums).
Don't get me wrong guys. I love the lady as much as the next couple of guys, but she might have spent too much time listening to Mother at the reception.
Well hell if Molly didn't bring just the weakest arguments ever for having a baby. So people half your age are having babies due about 80% to the fact that they follow some outlandish belief system in which it is forbidden to murder unborn children yet everyone holds secret parties whenever someone gets capital punishment for looking at a can of corn funny at the supermarket. So what ?! I'm just hoping Molly don't ride that wild logic to the point of suggesting other potentially life-fucking activities kids half their age are doing (elegantly disheveled haircuts, Gwen Stefani albums).
Don't get me wrong guys. I love the lady as much as the next couple of guys, but she might have spent too much time listening to Mother at the reception.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
I think this all strikes at the root of something: I saw an interview at some point (can't find the link) where Onstad says something to the effect of that in high school he used to shave his head and hate the government but now he is just an ordinary married guy who worries about calories or something.
I often get this kind of vibe from fairly educated and intelligent, yet still middle-of-the-road type people: they ooze mild dissatisfaction with the humdrum trappings of 'normal' life, but are too entrenched in the ways they've been brought up to deviate too far from them. So they convince themselves that all these things are inevitable in a "well, it sucks, but what else are you gonna do" kind of way, while perhaps also justifying this by devaluing other forms of living as some immature pubescent rebellion that everyone grows out of eventually.
I'm just saying that I would hate for this comic to follow the sitcom-esque mold of "guy is disgruntled about having a baby or changing diapers, but only enough so that he can amusingly grumble about it and not enough to actually cause serious conflict with his thoroughly boring wife (who, of course, is portrayed as wanting all of these 'normal' things because that's what all women want even if they say otherwise)." Even someone as great as Louis CK starts to get old when they harp too much on this theme. Maybe it's just that I personally can't relate, but I have a feeling it could be more of a generational thing.
I think this all strikes at the root of something: I saw an interview at some point (can't find the link) where Onstad says something to the effect of that in high school he used to shave his head and hate the government but now he is just an ordinary married guy who worries about calories or something.
I often get this kind of vibe from fairly educated and intelligent, yet still middle-of-the-road type people: they ooze mild dissatisfaction with the humdrum trappings of 'normal' life, but are too entrenched in the ways they've been brought up to deviate too far from them. So they convince themselves that all these things are inevitable in a "well, it sucks, but what else are you gonna do" kind of way, while perhaps also justifying this by devaluing other forms of living as some immature pubescent rebellion that everyone grows out of eventually.
I'm just saying that I would hate for this comic to follow the sitcom-esque mold of "guy is disgruntled about having a baby or changing diapers, but only enough so that he can amusingly grumble about it and not enough to actually cause serious conflict with his thoroughly boring wife (who, of course, is portrayed as wanting all of these 'normal' things because that's what all women want even if they say otherwise)." Even someone as great as Louis CK starts to get old when they harp too much on this theme. Maybe it's just that I personally can't relate, but I have a feeling it could be more of a generational thing.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Without being a condescending ass, I think you may just have to wait and see how your opinions change with age. It's an experience thing perhaps... Also hormones! That shit fucks everyone up!**
please see Important Things from puberty.
Without being a condescending ass, I think you may just have to wait and see how your opinions change with age. It's an experience thing perhaps... Also hormones! That shit fucks everyone up!**
please see Important Things from puberty.
progeny_dialect
+0 -0
I think achilleselbow is fairly educated and intelligent, yet still middle-of-the-road, too entrenched in the ways he's been brought up to deviate too far from them, justifying this by devaluing other forms of living as some immature pubescent rebellion that everyone grows out of eventually.
-AIU AKA IT
I think achilleselbow is fairly educated and intelligent, yet still middle-of-the-road, too entrenched in the ways he's been brought up to deviate too far from them, justifying this by devaluing other forms of living as some immature pubescent rebellion that everyone grows out of eventually.
-AIU AKA IT
you_rude_mother
+0 -0
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Do you ever worry that one day someone will appeal to Onstad to ban your IP?
Do you ever worry that one day someone will appeal to Onstad to ban your IP?
you_rude_mother
+0 -0
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, unless you are a master of telepathic computer sabotage over a distance of unknown miles, you in no sense got rid of Catgrrl.
And my avatonicar is awesome.
Man, unless you are a master of telepathic computer sabotage over a distance of unknown miles, you in no sense got rid of Catgrrl.
And my avatonicar is awesome.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I don't know why you seem to think you can have a rational conversation with something whose idea of "doing something" is registering new accounts every day in increasingly futile attempts to annoy a bunch of people online. Then again, I guess that's the best thing you can do when you're an unemployed piece of shit who thinks it's some kind of leet haXor.
I don't know why you seem to think you can have a rational conversation with something whose idea of "doing something" is registering new accounts every day in increasingly futile attempts to annoy a bunch of people online. Then again, I guess that's the best thing you can do when you're an unemployed piece of shit who thinks it's some kind of leet haXor.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
(The latter "you" refers to aiu and not i_love_kate)
(The latter "you" refers to aiu and not i_love_kate)
you_rude_mother
+0 -0
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I was drunk, high, fisting someone, take your pick.
I was drunk, high, fisting someone, take your pick.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Like it or not, he has carte blanche here. Ignoring is easy, so let that be your compensation.
Like it or not, he has carte blanche here. Ignoring is easy, so let that be your compensation.
stereo
+0 -0
At least when he posts stupid things like hundred thousand penis bills it's easy to find them later and ignore them (considering assetbar is dumb about "not yet seen" replies).
Imagine if he was so subtle that everyone thought he was just not on the same mental plaza.
At least when he posts stupid things like hundred thousand penis bills it's easy to find them later and ignore them (considering assetbar is dumb about "not yet seen" replies).
Imagine if he was so subtle that everyone thought he was just not on the same mental plaza.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
I get this vibe too. Molly is a particularly good example of this archetype - the girl who feels that, because she wears stripy socks and listens to the Dandy Warhols, she can totally believe in rigid gender stereotypes, feel the main point in her life is to have babies and see her partner as having a secondary role in raising their children without being conservative.
I get this vibe too. Molly is a particularly good example of this archetype - the girl who feels that, because she wears stripy socks and listens to the Dandy Warhols, she can totally believe in rigid gender stereotypes, feel the main point in her life is to have babies and see her partner as having a secondary role in raising their children without being conservative.
aperson
+0 -0
Wouldn't it be a shame if, as they got older, people kept parroting the received wisdom that they used to come out with when they were slightly self-important adolescents, fresh from having discovered the Truth?
Just playing devil's advocate of course.
Wouldn't it be a shame if, as they got older, people kept parroting the received wisdom that they used to come out with when they were slightly self-important adolescents, fresh from having discovered the Truth?
Just playing devil's advocate of course.
octafish
+1 -0
Err, some women want to have babies not because they believe in rigid stereotypes, but because they are cute, smell nice, love you in return in a way a cat or dog never can (especially a cat), and you know hormones (we've all seen My Cousin Vinnie right?).
Err, some women want to have babies not because they believe in rigid stereotypes, but because they are cute, smell nice, love you in return in a way a cat or dog never can (especially a cat), and you know hormones (we've all seen My Cousin Vinnie right?).
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yes, some women are like that, and great for them. But there are plenty of others, men and women, who simply consider it an imperative and the ultimate goal of life without which one is somehow failed or incomplete.
Yes, some women are like that, and great for them. But there are plenty of others, men and women, who simply consider it an imperative and the ultimate goal of life without which one is somehow failed or incomplete.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
and those people make me want to stab my eyes out and turn my brain off.
and those people make me want to stab my eyes out and turn my brain off.
cdumas
+4 -0
I cannot figure out why so many comments in the many years of this strip are about people worrying about what the strip is going to turn into tomorrow.
I cannot figure out why so many comments in the many years of this strip are about people worrying about what the strip is going to turn into tomorrow.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I agree with you, using both hands. And how is it that these people have been doing this for years, and not realized that they are always wrong?
I agree with you, using both hands. And how is it that these people have been doing this for years, and not realized that they are always wrong?
pogo
+0 -0
Well, the comments are only a year old (approx) so that compresses the concern about the future, and the arcs are a more recent thing, too. I think the concern for the direction of the strip is actually mostly in the past couple of months.
Well, the comments are only a year old (approx) so that compresses the concern about the future, and the arcs are a more recent thing, too. I think the concern for the direction of the strip is actually mostly in the past couple of months.
cdumas
+0 -0
Ah, I see what you mean -- it is comments from people who care enough about the strip to read the back issues, but who don't trust it enough to keep being good. I wonder how many of these posters also snoop on their respective girlfriends' text messages and fret when she fondles the grocery bag of rare South American lemons a bit too much. 'cause you know, that which you love can go [b]any[b] old nasty direction -- you never know when you'll come home to a terrible menage involving a travel blender and half a pair of dollar store pajamas. That's the future of Achewood.
Ah, I see what you mean -- it is comments from people who care enough about the strip to read the back issues, but who don't trust it enough to keep being good. I wonder how many of these posters also snoop on their respective girlfriends' text messages and fret when she fondles the grocery bag of rare South American lemons a bit too much. 'cause you know, that which you love can go [b]any[b] old nasty direction -- you never know when you'll come home to a terrible menage involving a travel blender and half a pair of dollar store pajamas. That's the future of Achewood.
pogo
+0 -0
Gulp. Y-y-you've done a blender and pj's? I'm not worthy!!
Gulp. Y-y-you've done a blender and pj's? I'm not worthy!!
charhe
+0 -0
I can't speak for menages of blenders and PJs, other than to say that they did that on Will it Blend and it was nasty.
Maybe what will happen is Achewood will lift a line from Terminator, characters all fighting against a future that they don't want to see. Roast Beef all 'dang man now I gotta do the militia thing out in the desert so assetbar won't get all sad about our poor quality but what the hell man we never had quality to begin with'
Except that, like all the rest of the hand-wringing, isn't going to happen.
I really just see Assetbar as a way for us to make each other laugh on top of the strip. Doesn't really seem to serve a purpose otherwise. All the 'I hope Onstad doesn't make this All My Children with cats and teddy bears' makes zero sense.
I can't speak for menages of blenders and PJs, other than to say that they did that on Will it Blend and it was nasty.
Maybe what will happen is Achewood will lift a line from Terminator, characters all fighting against a future that they don't want to see. Roast Beef all 'dang man now I gotta do the militia thing out in the desert so assetbar won't get all sad about our poor quality but what the hell man we never had quality to begin with'
Except that, like all the rest of the hand-wringing, isn't going to happen.
I really just see Assetbar as a way for us to make each other laugh on top of the strip. Doesn't really seem to serve a purpose otherwise. All the 'I hope Onstad doesn't make this All My Children with cats and teddy bears' makes zero sense.
stereo
+0 -0
So... is it ok to use the missing children on milk cartons for masturbation material?
So... is it ok to use the missing children on milk cartons for masturbation material?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I don't know WHAT you're responding too, but the answer is a resounding YES.
I don't know WHAT you're responding too, but the answer is a resounding YES.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Man, you're lucky to live in America. Over here in Britain we have to make do with pictures of cows when we're wanking onto milk.
Man, you're lucky to live in America. Over here in Britain we have to make do with pictures of cows when we're wanking onto milk.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Yes, but you people have heaving breastations in your newspapers.
Yes, but you people have heaving breastations in your newspapers.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Why would you want to wank onto a newspaper? That's pretty sick, dude.
Why would you want to wank onto a newspaper? That's pretty sick, dude.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Because I only drink skim milk, and the cartons of that around here have no missing pictures
Because I only drink skim milk, and the cartons of that around here have no missing pictures
sncether
+0 -0
Check out all those zeros in the nutritional facts and use your imagination.
Check out all those zeros in the nutritional facts and use your imagination.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
oh yes god yes no nutritional value aside from calcium god this is so good my sinus' are already clogging yeeeesssssss
oh yes god yes no nutritional value aside from calcium god this is so good my sinus' are already clogging yeeeesssssss
radarjammer
+0 -0
Ha ha! I started the archive a month ago and now I have read (I believe) every single strip. HUZZAH!
Ha ha! I started the archive a month ago and now I have read (I believe) every single strip. HUZZAH!
radarjammer
+0 -1
Wait... 1461? I missed 50 strips!
Applesauce!
Wait... 1461? I missed 50 strips!
Applesauce!
quaga
+0 -0
What are you waiting for? GET TO IT
What are you waiting for? GET TO IT
pogo
+0 -0
Shoot, I only have 1,153, but I swear I looked at them all. Probably wasn't logged in at all times, I guess.
Shoot, I only have 1,153, but I swear I looked at them all. Probably wasn't logged in at all times, I guess.
cleanfatback
+0 -0
I met a man on the el train who was tweaking. He kept bugging his eyes out at me and telling me "police car go WEE-ooh WEE-ooh WEE-ooh" and then running to the other end of the car, only to return to tell me that again. I was scared lemme tell you.
I met a man on the el train who was tweaking. He kept bugging his eyes out at me and telling me "police car go WEE-ooh WEE-ooh WEE-ooh" and then running to the other end of the car, only to return to tell me that again. I was scared lemme tell you.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yet another reason to hate the L train.
Yet another reason to hate the L train.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man i ain't never had any problems on the El.
maybe just blessed.
man i ain't never had any problems on the El.
maybe just blessed.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are we talking about the same train?
Are we talking about the same train?
loneal
+0 -1
I was under the impression that the L was in New York and the El was in Chicago, but I don't really know what I'm talking about.
I was under the impression that the L was in New York and the El was in Chicago, but I don't really know what I'm talking about.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i refer to the latter.
i refer to the latter.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh, I thought it was just a mildly clever way of referring to the one in New York. I've been to Chicago several times but I only remember the different line colors, not the actual train names.
Oh, I thought it was just a mildly clever way of referring to the one in New York. I've been to Chicago several times but I only remember the different line colors, not the actual train names.
loneal
+0 -0
Doesn't "the El" refer to the el evated trains? I think saying "the El" is like saying the subway. Again, I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I'm too lazy to actually Google it.
Doesn't "the El" refer to the el evated trains? I think saying "the El" is like saying the subway. Again, I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I'm too lazy to actually Google it.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
you are correct but what Lie Bot told Philippe was that it's called 'the El' because that's what the Mexicans who built the system had nicknamed Richard "El Puto" M. Daley!
you are correct but what Lie Bot told Philippe was that it's called 'the El' because that's what the Mexicans who built the system had nicknamed Richard "El Puto" M. Daley!
meddle
+0 -0
Philly also has an "El", and yes, it is due to elevation. Yet I usually only take portions of it that are underground, aka the opposite of elevated.
Philly also has an "El", and yes, it is due to elevation. Yet I usually only take portions of it that are underground, aka the opposite of elevated.
pogo
+0 -0
Almost all of the train system in Chicago is elevated, so it is all called the El, even though parts of it run underground when it reaches downtown. The Loop area of downtown Chicago is named that because the El loops around it.
Almost all of the train system in Chicago is elevated, so it is all called the El, even though parts of it run underground when it reaches downtown. The Loop area of downtown Chicago is named that because the El loops around it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos is an Elder God. Any time you see dudes bugging out and spitting and clawing at their faces and wishing they had those fur coats, you know that good ole 'chos is directing their behaviour.
cpnglxynchos is an Elder God. Any time you see dudes bugging out and spitting and clawing at their faces and wishing they had those fur coats, you know that good ole 'chos is directing their behaviour.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...i don't know how i acquired this title.
...i don't know how i acquired this title.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Your name is either very similar or very much resembles a character from a H.P. Lovecraft (?) novel that describes the Elder Gods (who's names are often an unpronouceable glut of consonants). When they come to town they'll eat everyone and destroy everything slowly, by praising them they will let you be the first to be eaten when they come (to save you from the ensuing human horror).
Your name is either very similar or very much resembles a character from a H.P. Lovecraft (?) novel that describes the Elder Gods (who's names are often an unpronouceable glut of consonants). When they come to town they'll eat everyone and destroy everything slowly, by praising them they will let you be the first to be eaten when they come (to save you from the ensuing human horror).
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That's my bad. Yeah, just referring to your unpronounceable name.
That's my bad. Yeah, just referring to your unpronounceable name.
chuvak
+0 -0
I once got stuck on the El for 2 hours, standing in one place with a bladder full of water in the hot summer Chicago damn sun. I had to pee in a bottle. That was a problem.
I once got stuck on the El for 2 hours, standing in one place with a bladder full of water in the hot summer Chicago damn sun. I had to pee in a bottle. That was a problem.
falseprophet
+1 -0
I only recently discovered that the subway stations in my community have bathrooms. Only recently. But the soap in the dispensers had caked to the point that it was like rubbing saucy caviar on your hands. I hope I am not forced into frequenting them again.
I only recently discovered that the subway stations in my community have bathrooms. Only recently. But the soap in the dispensers had caked to the point that it was like rubbing saucy caviar on your hands. I hope I am not forced into frequenting them again.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Pfft, everyone knows that the only train that matters is the Soul Train.
Pfft, everyone knows that the only train that matters is the Soul Train.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
My friend got sent to the principal's office in middle school because when the teacher asked what the secret network that slaves used to escape to the north was called, he answered "the Soul Train?"
My friend got sent to the principal's office in middle school because when the teacher asked what the secret network that slaves used to escape to the north was called, he answered "the Soul Train?"
irondave
+0 -0
That seems harsh, unless he actually sang out the answer in a falsetto, like the theme song.
That seems harsh, unless he actually sang out the answer in a falsetto, like the theme song.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*THA GRAVY TRAAAAIN
*THA GRAVY TRAAAAIN
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*gravity.
i don't know where i am.
*gravity.
i don't know where i am.
ashoykh
+1 -0
A man on the El was sitting across from me making very complicated gang signs. I just stared straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact. I later realized that he was deaf.
A man on the El was sitting across from me making very complicated gang signs. I just stared straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact. I later realized that he was deaf.
howl
+0 -0
So, achilleselbow, I've been wondering, what is tweaking?
So, achilleselbow, I've been wondering, what is tweaking?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I'd like to know why you consider me an expert on such matters, but I think it's something you do when you're on drugs, like a combination of twitching and shrieking.
I'd like to know why you consider me an expert on such matters, but I think it's something you do when you're on drugs, like a combination of twitching and shrieking.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Mainly twitching. Including unnecessarily repetitive speech.
Mainly twitching. Including unnecessarily repetitive speech.
octafish
+0 -0
From doing uppers almost exclusively. In fact sometimes tweaking can be used to refer to the act of taking amphetamines.
From doing uppers almost exclusively. In fact sometimes tweaking can be used to refer to the act of taking amphetamines.
cleanfatback
+0 -0
like if you take too much? i think. you get paranoid.
like if you take too much? i think. you get paranoid.
octafish
+1 -0
And now that is the jukebox! Yes, no doubt about it ... and why not? A very popular song: "Like a bridge over troubled water ... I will lay me down ..."
BOOM. Flashing paranoia. What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play that song - right now, at this moment? Has somebody followed me here? Does the bartendress know who I am? Can she see me behind these mirrors?
And now that is the jukebox! Yes, no doubt about it ... and why not? A very popular song: "Like a bridge over troubled water ... I will lay me down ..."
BOOM. Flashing paranoia. What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play that song - right now, at this moment? Has somebody followed me here? Does the bartendress know who I am? Can she see me behind these mirrors?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm betting she asks you because a good while back (when she was like, 10% younger) you said something about kids not knowing about cool. So she bugged you to tell her what was cool. So now she's hounding you as the default 'guy who knows shit', partly because you actually do know shit, and partly because she's still a little angry because she feels you implied she was dumb due to her age. She doesn't ask me things because I make run-on sentences that make Joyce hard in his grave.
I'm betting she asks you because a good while back (when she was like, 10% younger) you said something about kids not knowing about cool. So she bugged you to tell her what was cool. So now she's hounding you as the default 'guy who knows shit', partly because you actually do know shit, and partly because she's still a little angry because she feels you implied she was dumb due to her age. She doesn't ask me things because I make run-on sentences that make Joyce hard in his grave.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I don't remember saying this. Was it when I told her not to look up goatse? Great, now she's gonna think that older kids think that pictures of dudes with distended anuses are the epitome of 'cool' and spend all their time showing such pictures to each other while 'tweaking'. THIS IS WHY I'M NOT READY TO BE A PARENT.
I don't remember saying this. Was it when I told her not to look up goatse? Great, now she's gonna think that older kids think that pictures of dudes with distended anuses are the epitome of 'cool' and spend all their time showing such pictures to each other while 'tweaking'. THIS IS WHY I'M NOT READY TO BE A PARENT.
kamet
+0 -0
I sent this to every friend or family member who's ever asked me to babysit.
I sent this to every friend or family member who's ever asked me to babysit.
kickstart
+0 -0
i've always liked this one . Actually, it's what I thought of after echidnaboy's comment above about Lyle flipping off Molly and Beef's hypothetical baby.
i've always liked this one . Actually, it's what I thought of after echidnaboy's comment above about Lyle flipping off Molly and Beef's hypothetical baby.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Look, I'm just going to come on out and say that my week has been made knowing two of the AssetHotties I enjoy reading so much are both into PA. You people are awesome forever, says me.
I came.
Look, I'm just going to come on out and say that my week has been made knowing two of the AssetHotties I enjoy reading so much are both into PA. You people are awesome forever, says me.
I came.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Back in the day PA was pretty much comica non grata around here, as I recall. Anywho, I just wanted an excuse to post this .
Back in the day PA was pretty much comica non grata around here, as I recall. Anywho, I just wanted an excuse to post this .
hamscout
+0 -0
Sweet. Brings to mind all the Watterson strips with the Dad's misinformation:
Son: Dad, how come old photographs are always black & white? Didn't they have
color film back then?
Dad: Sure they did. In fact those old photographs ARE in color. It's just the WORLD was black & white then.
Son: Really?
Dad: Yep. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Son: That's really weird.
Dad: Well, truth is stranger than fiction.
Sweet. Brings to mind all the Watterson strips with the Dad's misinformation:
Son: Dad, how come old photographs are always black & white? Didn't they have
color film back then?
Dad: Sure they did. In fact those old photographs ARE in color. It's just the WORLD was black & white then.
Son: Really?
Dad: Yep. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Son: That's really weird.
Dad: Well, truth is stranger than fiction.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That's a pretty sweeping statement, considering the strip only came out a couple of days ago.
That's a pretty sweeping statement, considering the strip only came out a couple of days ago.
kamet
+0 -0
Yah.. I sent that to every friend or family member who's ever asked me to babysit... fortunately there aren't that many, because most of my friends knew this already...
Yah.. I sent that to every friend or family member who's ever asked me to babysit... fortunately there aren't that many, because most of my friends knew this already...
loneal
+0 -1
I think it was yearsinhotclaws who said that, not you.
I think it was yearsinhotclaws who said that, not you.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You are probably right. I'm pretty fucking terrible about remembering who is who around here. It's pretty much the people with boobitars next to their name, and the rest of you. If I implied that you were a cock to a (tiny) stranger Elbox, I am sorry.
You are probably right. I'm pretty fucking terrible about remembering who is who around here. It's pretty much the people with boobitars next to their name, and the rest of you. If I implied that you were a cock to a (tiny) stranger Elbox, I am sorry.
pogo
+0 -0
And I have sworn to never address her, lest she really is as young as she claims, what with my reputation, my infamy, my prediclection, my cousins, my way with words.
And I have sworn to never address her, lest she really is as young as she claims, what with my reputation, my infamy, my prediclection, my cousins, my way with words.
howl
+0 -0
Oops, sorry, I has you confused with yearsinhotclaws, whose status is he's "totally fucking tweaking." Anyway, thanks for the explanation.
Oops, sorry, I has you confused with yearsinhotclaws, whose status is he's "totally fucking tweaking." Anyway, thanks for the explanation.
irondave
+0 -0
In my part of the world, I hear it primarily to describe things that people who have been using Meth for a while do. Specifically, they feel compelled to do things like disassemble appliances or other electrical devices, or go into Wal-Mart and fidget with the duct tape. (They do not re-assemble the appliances, normally.)
In my part of the world, I hear it primarily to describe things that people who have been using Meth for a while do. Specifically, they feel compelled to do things like disassemble appliances or other electrical devices, or go into Wal-Mart and fidget with the duct tape. (They do not re-assemble the appliances, normally.)
keir
+0 -1
These threads are becoming worse than 4chan. At least there the retards know they're retarded. A lot of people here just seem to want to try and out-do everyone else with their lame attempts at Onstadesque witticisms and desperate stabs at being the first poster. Where is the discussion of the strip?
YOU ARE ALL OF YOU HELLA LAME
These threads are becoming worse than 4chan. At least there the retards know they're retarded. A lot of people here just seem to want to try and out-do everyone else with their lame attempts at Onstadesque witticisms and desperate stabs at being the first poster. Where is the discussion of the strip?
YOU ARE ALL OF YOU HELLA LAME
autrepoupee
+4 -0
hey guys wasn't it cool when roast beef was dressed up like a philosophy guy all of a sudden? it was a really cool transition, what do you guys think?
i think it was pretty cool, personally.
hey guys wasn't it cool when roast beef was dressed up like a philosophy guy all of a sudden? it was a really cool transition, what do you guys think?
i think it was pretty cool, personally.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Yea, I thought that was cool too. Then later he was still dressed as a philosophy guy, which reminded me of how he was dressed as a philosophy guy in the previous panel. Also, I liked the word bubbles. I don't know what Insane Clown Posse or the Niagara falls are, since it hasn't been explained in this strip and I am forbidden from referring to any knowledge outside of Achewood. I am sure it is funny though, because Onstad is funny and he makes funny comics like this one.
Yea, I thought that was cool too. Then later he was still dressed as a philosophy guy, which reminded me of how he was dressed as a philosophy guy in the previous panel. Also, I liked the word bubbles. I don't know what Insane Clown Posse or the Niagara falls are, since it hasn't been explained in this strip and I am forbidden from referring to any knowledge outside of Achewood. I am sure it is funny though, because Onstad is funny and he makes funny comics like this one.
keir
+0 -1
Haha, that's good.
Wait a minute, am I the local idiot? I always thought I was the smart one on the internet.
Haha, that's good.
Wait a minute, am I the local idiot? I always thought I was the smart one on the internet.
tragicone
+0 -0
Well, sir, you would be quite wrong. Quite wrong, indeed.
In fact, not only are you the local idiot, but the local jackass as well.
Sleep well.
Well, sir, you would be quite wrong. Quite wrong, indeed.
In fact, not only are you the local idiot, but the local jackass as well.
Sleep well.
keir
+0 -0
Harsh, but you're really only confirming my first point.
Harsh, but you're really only confirming my first point.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Your poor comparison doesn't do much to grant your post credibility. If the people here were indeed idiots maintaining a pretense of intelligence, we'd be pretty much the opposite of 4chan, which is (or was originally) largely a community of learned perverts acting like total morons.
Also, when did the mentally disabled become the group that it's cool to discriminate against?
You guys need to drop me the memo, I thought we were still on Falseprophet's case!
Your poor comparison doesn't do much to grant your post credibility. If the people here were indeed idiots maintaining a pretense of intelligence, we'd be pretty much the opposite of 4chan, which is (or was originally) largely a community of learned perverts acting like total morons.
Also, when did the mentally disabled become the group that it's cool to discriminate against?
You guys need to drop me the memo, I thought we were still on Falseprophet's case!
loneal
+0 -0
Featurelessvoid! Featurelessvoid! You have to ignore i_love_kate, he is doing the ironic racism thing!
Featurelessvoid! Featurelessvoid! You have to ignore i_love_kate, he is doing the ironic racism thing!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Guys, let's not fight. I just want us to be a family again.
Guys, let's not fight. I just want us to be a family again.
loneal
+0 -0
But mmmoooommm! It's not faaaaiiiirrrr!
But mmmoooommm! It's not faaaaiiiirrrr!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
STOP ITTTTT! CAN'T YOU ALL SEE YOUR TEARING US APPPPAAAARRRTTTT!
STOP ITTTTT! CAN'T YOU ALL SEE YOUR TEARING US APPPPAAAARRRTTTT!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hey, a friend of mine was torn apart. Not cool, not funny, not a good reply.
Hey, a friend of mine was torn apart. Not cool, not funny, not a good reply.
tragicone
+0 -0
Ahh, i see, Using proper grammar and spelling makes my humor Onstadian ehhh? well, I challenge you to find how other than proper English, this can be considered Onstadian.
Ahh, i see, Using proper grammar and spelling makes my humor Onstadian ehhh? well, I challenge you to find how other than proper English, this can be considered Onstadian.
you_rude_mother
+0 -0
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
tragicone
+0 -1
Maybe, so. But people like us, which is easily more than can be said about you.
Doesn't that make you the shithead?
Maybe, so. But people like us, which is easily more than can be said about you.
Doesn't that make you the shithead?
keir
+0 -0
It always shits me when people use the word "sir" in arguments. That to me screams "I'm a huge twat".
It always shits me when people use the word "sir" in arguments. That to me screams "I'm a huge twat".
woodenteeth
+0 -0
If your avatar is any reflection of yourself I can't imagine you ever being shitted... *gis another pinger wouldya geeeezer*
either that or that heavy breather is ALWAYS shitted *now I'm going to eat your legs!*
If your avatar is any reflection of yourself I can't imagine you ever being shitted... *gis another pinger wouldya geeeezer*
either that or that heavy breather is ALWAYS shitted *now I'm going to eat your legs!*
dfgbfdgbfg
+0 -0
people like me too. not people in your community. But by definition, that is why it is your community. But I guess I am a shithead, for wanting to ethnically cleanse assetbar of your community. I should probably just go find some other community where people like me, and leave yours be in peace. Probably keir should too. But keir is right... you guys and gals are pretty dopy most of the time. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Most people do crave junk food every now and then, so why not a free flow of idle stream-of-consciousness splut YES NO KNIVES THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID etc etc... why not crave that every now and then... but EVERY FUCKING DAY? couldn't you guys go chat on IRC or messenger or something, instead of turning assetbar into your own personal clochea of mind-douche detrius? I think that's all keir is trying to say here. I mean come on... Assetbar saves this shit forever, and has limited capacity... the whole fucking page loads every time... you can't collapse threads... maybe you could talk about something a little more substantive on here a little more frequently.... that seems to be what keir is saying...
anyway... whatever... sorry for my mispellings. I could run spell check, but I don't care to. My spelling sucks in several languages. If you can say that, then you can criticize me on spelling. otherwise, STFU.
anyway. someone should mail you all anthrax letters.
people like me too. not people in your community. But by definition, that is why it is your community. But I guess I am a shithead, for wanting to ethnically cleanse assetbar of your community. I should probably just go find some other community where people like me, and leave yours be in peace. Probably keir should too. But keir is right... you guys and gals are pretty dopy most of the time. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Most people do crave junk food every now and then, so why not a free flow of idle stream-of-consciousness splut YES NO KNIVES THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID etc etc... why not crave that every now and then... but EVERY FUCKING DAY? couldn't you guys go chat on IRC or messenger or something, instead of turning assetbar into your own personal clochea of mind-douche detrius? I think that's all keir is trying to say here. I mean come on... Assetbar saves this shit forever, and has limited capacity... the whole fucking page loads every time... you can't collapse threads... maybe you could talk about something a little more substantive on here a little more frequently.... that seems to be what keir is saying...
anyway... whatever... sorry for my mispellings. I could run spell check, but I don't care to. My spelling sucks in several languages. If you can say that, then you can criticize me on spelling. otherwise, STFU.
anyway. someone should mail you all anthrax letters.
lateadopter
+0 -0
That's good, with the death threat at the end, after saying AssetBar saves this forever. They'll know where to look.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, was that supposed to be cloaca or cochlea?
That's good, with the death threat at the end, after saying AssetBar saves this forever. They'll know where to look.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, was that supposed to be cloaca or cochlea?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Well gee, I guess that makes perfect sense. The 99% of us who like Assetbar the way it is just fine will move to IRC to accomodate two or three whiny turds. Wouldn't it be easier for you and Keir to make your own private IRC channel where you can make your oh-so-relevant-and-important comments? I give it about 5 minutes before Keir unplugs his computer and files a restraining order.
I cannot describe how much of a pathetic little shit you are. All of your purported gripes and disdain are complete bullshit. If you hated us all so much, you wouldn't have tried so hard to fit in when you first started posting. You just threw a tantrum when people didn't like your self-indulgent ramblings and now are trying to convince us that your mission was to disrupt the forum all along. Sorry, not buying it. Your wounded little ego still shows through all your posts. Are you ever honest with yourself? About everything?
It's funny that you mention the anthrax thing because you fit exactly the same profile as that scientist. I'm sorry that most of us have normal lives and like the same cultural things. I'm sorry that we're not emotionally damaged unemployed 30-year olds with superiority complexes and self-control issues. You don't need a webcomic, you need a fucking support group, and you're not gonna get that here.
Well gee, I guess that makes perfect sense. The 99% of us who like Assetbar the way it is just fine will move to IRC to accomodate two or three whiny turds. Wouldn't it be easier for you and Keir to make your own private IRC channel where you can make your oh-so-relevant-and-important comments? I give it about 5 minutes before Keir unplugs his computer and files a restraining order.
I cannot describe how much of a pathetic little shit you are. All of your purported gripes and disdain are complete bullshit. If you hated us all so much, you wouldn't have tried so hard to fit in when you first started posting. You just threw a tantrum when people didn't like your self-indulgent ramblings and now are trying to convince us that your mission was to disrupt the forum all along. Sorry, not buying it. Your wounded little ego still shows through all your posts. Are you ever honest with yourself? About everything?
It's funny that you mention the anthrax thing because you fit exactly the same profile as that scientist. I'm sorry that most of us have normal lives and like the same cultural things. I'm sorry that we're not emotionally damaged unemployed 30-year olds with superiority complexes and self-control issues. You don't need a webcomic, you need a fucking support group, and you're not gonna get that here.
dfgbfdgbfg
+0 -0
LOL WAT
LOL WAT
keir
+0 -0
Come on guys, let's not get too emotional. My only point was that a lot of people here (not all) are dullards with delusions of wittiness. These people clutter up the threads with inane pseudo-intellectual quips and wading through the shit to find worthwhile posts is usually a baffling ordeal.
Come on guys, let's not get too emotional. My only point was that a lot of people here (not all) are dullards with delusions of wittiness. These people clutter up the threads with inane pseudo-intellectual quips and wading through the shit to find worthwhile posts is usually a baffling ordeal.
dfgbfdgbfg
+0 -0
hey! I resemble that remark...
hey! I resemble that remark...
dfgbfdgbfg
+0 -0
by the way, your avitar is distracting and baffling... almost as much as that rant that achillesheel has memorized
by the way, your avitar is distracting and baffling... almost as much as that rant that achillesheel has memorized
tragicone
+0 -0
hey guys. Guys.
Its the internet. No one is right here.
hey guys. Guys.
Its the internet. No one is right here.
chuvak
+0 -0
LOL WAT
LOL WAT
gyrate
+0 -0
It is law in seventeen states that if your child is born in a Pep Boys franchise you must name them either Manny, Moe or Jack. FACT.
It is law in seventeen states that if your child is born in a Pep Boys franchise you must name them either Manny, Moe or Jack. FACT.
chuvak
+0 -0
However if you WORK at a Pep Boys franchise, it will inevitably be Dakota or Taylor if a girl and Jared if a boy.
However if you WORK at a Pep Boys franchise, it will inevitably be Dakota or Taylor if a girl and Jared if a boy.
thebaddoctor
+0 -0
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT.
gyrate
+0 -1
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ha ha!
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ha ha!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
What's the matter, doctor?
What's the matter, doctor?
octafish
+1 -0
I think he is just quoting Jim Trott from the Vicar of Dibley.
I think he is just quoting Jim Trott from the Vicar of Dibley.
greymantledwolf
+0 -0
holy shit, this captures so many conversations of so many friends of mine
holy shit, this captures so many conversations of so many friends of mine
darleen
+0 -0
Yay for birthday strip!! :D
Yay for birthday strip!! :D
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Don't say that til AFTER I come by your house in my raincoat later
Don't say that til AFTER I come by your house in my raincoat later
hamscout
+1 -0
Me too! Me too! And I just got married, so it's pertinent, I guess!
[phone] YES, Mom, I think my brother's baby is the sweetest thing ever... ...No, I don't think we'll be having one this weekend. [/phone]
Me too! Me too! And I just got married, so it's pertinent, I guess!
[phone] YES, Mom, I think my brother's baby is the sweetest thing ever... ...No, I don't think we'll be having one this weekend. [/phone]
darleen
+0 -0
Happy birthday for the other day! And hurry up and make a babeh! You should be making one right now, while posting on Achewood!
Happy birthday for the other day! And hurry up and make a babeh! You should be making one right now, while posting on Achewood!
redface
+0 -0
This comic seems crazed . Not that signiture Onstad kookiness, y'know? It's way too insane to be funny.
This comic seems crazed . Not that signiture Onstad kookiness, y'know? It's way too insane to be funny.
thwap
+0 -0
ICP going over Niagra Falls in a tomato might be one of the best tattoo ideas ever.
and i'm not really even into ICP.
but damn.
someone should get it. it would be instant VICTORY
ICP going over Niagra Falls in a tomato might be one of the best tattoo ideas ever.
and i'm not really even into ICP.
but damn.
someone should get it. it would be instant VICTORY
paby
+0 -0
"I'm not really even into ICP" means you've actually done yourself up in the makeup at least once.
"I'm not really even into ICP" means you've actually done yourself up in the makeup at least once.
thwap
+0 -0
Honestly
I have not.
Honestly
I have not.
pidge
+0 -0
Uh. Why can't I find people like all of you in real life? I mean, smart and hilarious.
I've been an Achewood fan for years and lurking here for a while. Why do most people on this board's avatars include their hands and/or arms in the photo? Just wondering if I should find another picture of myself with my hand near my face or something.
Uh. Why can't I find people like all of you in real life? I mean, smart and hilarious.
I've been an Achewood fan for years and lurking here for a while. Why do most people on this board's avatars include their hands and/or arms in the photo? Just wondering if I should find another picture of myself with my hand near my face or something.
invidious
+0 -0
Oh, necessarily.
Oh, necessarily.
promac
+0 -0
If you can settle for smart and moderately funny I'll send you my address.
If you can settle for smart and moderately funny I'll send you my address.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Those people are throwbacks from the Great Handface Fiasco of '87 (Not actual date). Basically, as was bound to eventually happen, everyone here suddenly decided that they wanted to emulate Heccibiggs. Hilarity ensued.
It would be awesome if we had an Assetbar wiki to link to for the edification of newcomers.
Those people are throwbacks from the Great Handface Fiasco of '87 (Not actual date). Basically, as was bound to eventually happen, everyone here suddenly decided that they wanted to emulate Heccibiggs. Hilarity ensued.
It would be awesome if we had an Assetbar wiki to link to for the edification of newcomers.
irondave
+0 -0
There was a Thing in April that transpired that has come to be known as Handface Weekend. Heccibiggs had the first handface icotar, and then Margargaret was all like "Why can't I also have a handface avacon?" and so she did. Then it was, as the saying goes, "off to the races." And then it turned out that all the chicks in addition to being funny and smart are also very cute, and all the dudes are handsome, but I am saying that in a way that is totally not gay. Also, to be accurate, none of this applies to hedonismbot.
Finally, the answer to your question about your picture, if that's what we're going to call it, is "Yes, you should."
Welcome aboard.
There was a Thing in April that transpired that has come to be known as Handface Weekend. Heccibiggs had the first handface icotar, and then Margargaret was all like "Why can't I also have a handface avacon?" and so she did. Then it was, as the saying goes, "off to the races." And then it turned out that all the chicks in addition to being funny and smart are also very cute, and all the dudes are handsome, but I am saying that in a way that is totally not gay. Also, to be accurate, none of this applies to hedonismbot.
Finally, the answer to your question about your picture, if that's what we're going to call it, is "Yes, you should."
Welcome aboard.
pogo
+0 -0
Heyo, why don't we explain this two or three more times?
Heyo, why don't we explain this two or three more times?
irondave
+0 -0
For my part, I'm opposed to pointless repetition.
For my part, I'm opposed to pointless repetition.
catgrl131
+0 -0
I think pointless repetition is annoying.
I think pointless repetition is annoying.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Pointless repetition annoys me.
Pointless repetition annoys me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I like ham
I like ham
daidai
+0 -0
I won't say it.
But just so you all know, I could.
i could
I won't say it.
But just so you all know, I could.
i could
you_rude_mother
+0 -0
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Aww. I love you too, aiu! C'mere! Lemme give you a hug!
Aww. I love you too, aiu! C'mere! Lemme give you a hug!
pogo
+0 -0
Welcome. It was a wild weekend a couple months ago. Hecci had always had her hand in her picture (we didn't know it was really her at first) then Loneal chaged hers, it became a challenge, and tons of us posted hand-face shots. We then all became much more chummy (I'm still distant because I'm old and engaged) with Facebook links and such. My present iconavatar is a piece of found art in the hand-face mode. I somehow like hiding behind a woman's likeness these days.
Welcome. It was a wild weekend a couple months ago. Hecci had always had her hand in her picture (we didn't know it was really her at first) then Loneal chaged hers, it became a challenge, and tons of us posted hand-face shots. We then all became much more chummy (I'm still distant because I'm old and engaged) with Facebook links and such. My present iconavatar is a piece of found art in the hand-face mode. I somehow like hiding behind a woman's likeness these days.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
We all have hands in our faces because this board also hosts a secret fetish community. You are welcome to post a handface. In fact, I'm begging you to. Daddy needs some new pictures....
We all have hands in our faces because this board also hosts a secret fetish community. You are welcome to post a handface. In fact, I'm begging you to. Daddy needs some new pictures....
stereo
+0 -0
The hand faces origin can be read here , if you have a sudden urge to read several thousand comments that don't necessarily make sense because so many people switched avatars.
The hand faces origin can be read here , if you have a sudden urge to read several thousand comments that don't necessarily make sense because so many people switched avatars.
pogo
+0 -0
The 4/25 handface breakout still look pretty good. Lots of Assetbarnarians have kept their handface pics up. Notable exceptions are spiney and elbow, which does ruin part of the thread. Oh well, you really had to be there anyway.
The 4/25 handface breakout still look pretty good. Lots of Assetbarnarians have kept their handface pics up. Notable exceptions are spiney and elbow, which does ruin part of the thread. Oh well, you really had to be there anyway.
rachel
+0 -0
pep boys partyman looks like goofy
pep boys partyman looks like goofy
xud
+1 -0
The Pep Boys employee sucked down a meth rock, and then another. For pleasure, for fun.
The Pep Boys employee sucked down a meth rock, and then another. For pleasure, for fun.
paby
+0 -0
The last time I was at AutoZone the cashier was a cutter. So this is kind of similar.
The last time I was at AutoZone the cashier was a cutter. So this is kind of similar.
sncether
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
That was a used car dealership, not an AutoZone! Up yours, college boy!
[IMGS OFF]
That was a used car dealership, not an AutoZone! Up yours, college boy!
paby
+0 -0
Is that from the movie about the dumpy kids that hung around some quarry?
Is that from the movie about the dumpy kids that hung around some quarry?
sncether
+0 -0
Yeah, if you'd describe "The Godfather" as that movie about the second-generation Italians who love citrus fruits.
Yeah, if you'd describe "The Godfather" as that movie about the second-generation Italians who love citrus fruits.
paby
+1 -0
No, thats the movie where that nice girl gets blown up.
No, thats the movie where that nice girl gets blown up.
sncether
+7 -0
Man, I bet the Blockbuster employees love to see you walk through their door.
"Yeah, I'm looking for that movie about the farm kid who joins the Navy or something?"
half an hour passes
"Yeah! That's it! Star Wars!"
Man, I bet the Blockbuster employees love to see you walk through their door.
"Yeah, I'm looking for that movie about the farm kid who joins the Navy or something?"
half an hour passes
"Yeah! That's it! Star Wars!"
paby
+0 -0
Oddly enough I don't really like movies. And I haven't seen Star Wars.
Oddly enough I don't really like movies. And I haven't seen Star Wars.
tragicone
+0 -0
:| my god man. you've really got some splaining to do.
:| my god man. you've really got some splaining to do.
sje46
+0 -0
How is this possible? How have you not seen Star Wars at some point in your life?
I challenge you do a duel for this crass insult.
(Yes, I take it as an offense when people don't watch Star Wars).
How is this possible? How have you not seen Star Wars at some point in your life?
I challenge you do a duel for this crass insult.
(Yes, I take it as an offense when people don't watch Star Wars).
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
That is really awesome. Look at you, just cold not having seen Star Wars. That is raw .
That is really awesome. Look at you, just cold not having seen Star Wars. That is raw .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I heard he doesn't like music.
I heard he doesn't like music.
tragicone
+0 -0
That reminds me, actually, of a webcomic I used to read a long time ago called Mall Monkeys.
There was a character that was particularly cool. At some point he and a friend we having a conversation that amounted to, "Fuck fun!" "Yeah, fun suck"
I Always though that amounted to the most badass thing to say.
That reminds me, actually, of a webcomic I used to read a long time ago called Mall Monkeys.
There was a character that was particularly cool. At some point he and a friend we having a conversation that amounted to, "Fuck fun!" "Yeah, fun suck"
I Always though that amounted to the most badass thing to say.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
When someone asked Galder, the main member of Old Man's Child and current guitarist for Dimmu Borgir, why he changed his alias from Grusom, as it had been on the early demos, he replied "because Grusom was for fun and I don't like fun."
When someone asked Galder, the main member of Old Man's Child and current guitarist for Dimmu Borgir, why he changed his alias from Grusom, as it had been on the early demos, he replied "because Grusom was for fun and I don't like fun."
perilon
+0 -0
Is cold not having seen The Godfather raw, or just a shame?
Is cold not having seen The Godfather raw, or just a shame?
paby
+0 -0
oh come on everyone's seen the Godfather
oh come on everyone's seen the Godfather
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I have not. Am I raw?
I have not. Am I raw?
gyrate
+0 -0
I prefer to think of you as "tartar"
I prefer to think of you as "tartar"
pogo
+0 -0
These guys look like Ultimate players to me, and "cut" is a big move in Ultimate.
These guys look like Ultimate players to me, and "cut" is a big move in Ultimate.
strix22
+0 -0
I really wonder how many people here throw disk?
I really wonder how many people here throw disk?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Word up.
Word up.
pogo
+0 -0
My son's team went to Nationals three years in a row.
My son's team went to Nationals three years in a row.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
oooh look at those happy jocks... I didn't know BPDers had a club.
oooh look at those happy jocks... I didn't know BPDers had a club.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
looks like all the kids in this movie Pumpkin what i seen once upon a time on IFC.
view said movie and then get the ending credits' song, 'Falling From Grace' by The Gentle Waves (Belle And Sebastian minus Sebastian)
looks like all the kids in this movie Pumpkin what i seen once upon a time on IFC.
view said movie and then get the ending credits' song, 'Falling From Grace' by The Gentle Waves (Belle And Sebastian minus Sebastian)
kickstart
+0 -0
Oh, Christina Ricci. You should not be blonde. But I will love you anyway.
Oh, Christina Ricci. You should not be blonde. But I will love you anyway.
grunchorelaxo
+1 -0
"People half our age with no resources already have kids." There's some airtight life planning.
Molly must have left her brain somewhere in seventeenth-century Wales.
"People half our age with no resources already have kids." There's some airtight life planning.
Molly must have left her brain somewhere in seventeenth-century Wales.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
I think the cartoonist understands my feelings about the use of the word "party" as a verb
I think the cartoonist understands my feelings about the use of the word "party" as a verb
irondave
+0 -0
I love your shoes.
I love your shoes.
skoora
+0 -0
I never noticed how well "Jäger" and "bender" go together.
I never noticed how well "Jäger" and "bender" go together.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Psst...hedonismbot...Prove him right...
Psst...hedonismbot...Prove him right...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I prefer to spell the drink using the old world letter of it's origins. Observe:
J???????????r
I prefer to spell the drink using the old world letter of it's origins. Observe:
J???????????r
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Oh, fuck you assetbar
Oh, fuck you assetbar
pogo
+0 -1
It's Friday, 8:15 a.m. Pacific, where's my damn strip?
It's Friday, 8:15 a.m. Pacific, where's my damn strip?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
It's funny because he's old and impatient.
It's funny because he's old and impatient.
bixschmix
+0 -0
The impatience, hilarious. The incontinence, not so much.
The impatience, hilarious. The incontinence, not so much.
sydiot
+0 -0
Any reason why molly has human feet? She's a cat, right? The other cats have cat feet...I guess she needs human feet to fit into those cheap purple pumps.
Any reason why molly has human feet? She's a cat, right? The other cats have cat feet...I guess she needs human feet to fit into those cheap purple pumps.
sncether
+1 -0
That's not Molly, it's Angelina Jolie. Roast Beef is just helping out.
That's not Molly, it's Angelina Jolie. Roast Beef is just helping out.
thegoblins
+0 -0
She shouldn't have to steal ALL her children from villages!
She shouldn't have to steal ALL her children from villages!
pogo
+0 -1
Damn, it's noon Pacific, and still no strip! I'm getting strip rage.
Damn, it's noon Pacific, and still no strip! I'm getting strip rage.
loneal
+0 -0
Any and all strippers in the assetbar: Run for your lives!
Any and all strippers in the assetbar: Run for your lives!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
ohhhh shiiiiiiiiit
ohhhh shiiiiiiiiit
kickstart
+1 -0
You peegs ! You deed not recognize me from mah first appearance ! Extremely recent house wines for all.
You peegs ! You deed not recognize me from mah first appearance ! Extremely recent house wines for all.
atmus
+0 -0
Man, that guy MUST be tweaking if he is explaining about brake rotors to Beef. A 65 Galaxie has drums all around, not rotors.
Man, that guy MUST be tweaking if he is explaining about brake rotors to Beef. A 65 Galaxie has drums all around, not rotors.
redheron
+0 -0
Where's that guy with the companion cube avatar? I have to make a "doing science" joke.
Where's that guy with the companion cube avatar? I have to make a "doing science" joke.
agentstinky
+0 -0
What about the baby in Trainspotting?
What about the baby in Trainspotting?
A comment left by schlitz was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by videocrime, TwoRightFeet, treasureplane, harrisonbender)
A comment left by sevendaughters was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, dayvancowboy, Carpetbag, ntopp, Spenham, farqussus, MortisInvictus, DrSkradley, lateadopter, LexSenthur, dropkickpikachu, goddam, hardelicious, echidnaboy, Tipist, tragicone)
As your lawyer, I cannot recommend that you use this strip in baby negotiations with your significant other.
As your doctor (of Philosophy!), I must recommend that you fire your lawyer.
A comment left by progeny_dialect was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hipjiverobot, mcowgill, snitchy, farqussus, atticusonline, scramblesthedog, Perilon, Shinkicka)
A comment left by progeny_dialect was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hipjiverobot, Marcus_Brody, farqussus, atticusonline, scramblesthedog, desert_donkey, Shinkicka)
dont make me get out the giant penis
square brakets ...
brakets :
("br ah - kay ") n. , lit. French form of "brackets".
I am florid like the french, but that is psychosis and not my use of language.
The Br ah-kay residence, the lady of the house speaking!
A Keeping up Appearances reference? That's okay, I referred to the Vicar of Dibley not five minutes ago.
You're not my Brah, kay?
You're not may friend Kay, duuuuuuuuuudde
Then Kay is not my brother? Who is my true father? Who is Merlin? Whose son am I?
Oh wow, umm I think Uther Pendragon is your father, but its been a loooooong time since I read the Sword in the Stone.
Luke, I am your father.
bra-kets :
n. , weird-ass vector notation used in quantum mechanics
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
Comment left by you_rude_mother ignored.
SET YOURSELF UP FOR THE TRIPLE LAME.
DISASTROUS.
IF YOU CARE.
I THINK YOU MIGHT.
SHIT
Set yourself up for the triple lame.
Disastrous.
As your brah? Dude I totally recommend you use this strip to explain yourself; I mean, can you imagine? She's all talking and stuff and you just pop out a fucking Achewood strip all badass and if she don't get it man just forget her cause if she don't have a sense of humor about shit you might wanna rethink shit cause that shit's fucking important in a relationship man and if you're talking babies...dude.
As your taxidermist, I have nothing of import to say regarding this matter.
Not many gentlemen still have a preferred taxidermist. These days its all Far Eastern botch jobs and moth eaten tat of e-bay. The world is too much with us, late and soon.
As your chartered accountant, I'm going to go leap from a high window now.
PARKINSON!!
DEFENESTRATION!!
BALLS!
CLITS.
As your gynecologist, I love them.
Lesbian Gynecologists, do they exist?
Find out on the next Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
"Oh you KNOW I'm gonna investigate that shit."
- Ice T.
would it be better for a gynecologist to really like what they do, or to somewhat dislike it but do it anyway for the money
(this is a question to the ladies from the ladies' standpoint)
{to be answered from the ladies' standpoint [if that needed qualifying]}
The sad thing is I didn't even have to look that up to know that it meant being tossed from a window. Yes, yes, I am a loser
I'm pretty sure defenestration is everyone's secret favorite word.
If only it meant being thrown out of a window...
Defenestration is silly. It is silly to like Defenestration!
[IMGS OFF]
being tossed from a window is great, but only if the lady is real special and you're not easily embarassed.
Thank you, drive through!
JOHNSON!
I wish that we will learn what happened with LN. I mean, is he dead for good? When are we going to see Ray's rection? I like the strips (I really like this one in particular) since he died, but I feel like Onstad is stalling.
I dont really mind the delay, Achewood's been no stranger to leaving storylines unclosed for long periods of time. I think it's important that he retains the freedom to drop stories abruptly and basically do whatever the hell he wants with the strip...
I'm sure when he gets around to it it'll be quality.
That is a good point. He should take his time. I wonder how much of this he has planned out, and how much is extemporaneous?
yeah i am totally waiting very excitedly for the eventual DVD with commentary by chris for every single strip. i am not kidding. he could read the alt text and then give us other thoughts. it would be awesome. and he would answer questions like this.
Chubby for the exemplary, if extemporaneous, usage of the word extemporaneous .
Seeing one cartoon 'rection each week feels sufficient.
just thought my new avaticon would go good with yours
well, if we're playing THAT game.
Why, yes. Yes we are.
We already played this game a couple of months ago.
Sure, but it's a good game, especially while waiting for a new comic.
You know i aggree
Not that game...
[IMGS OFF]
This one!
Wait, no, shoot, woodenteeth's hand is facing the wrong way! Also, it's kind of diagonal! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!??
I'm more of a North West kinda guy. Mainly 'cause I'm not a young man and can't GO WEEEEEEEEST!
I'm not even sure that's the game we were playing...
I'm not quite sure of anything anymore...
If this game involves kissing, you two guys should know I'm also a guy before you spin that pointer thing in the middle.
Ray's rection? Are you trying to get Ray to crown along with Beef's metaphorical child?
We already saw Ray's reaction. He was lying in bed with a bottle of champagne and a smile on his face. Then he turned out the lights. By clapping.
What other reaction could there be?
I don't think he realized that LN had died yet.
Ray's probably just assuming Little Nephew went back to wherever he stays when he's not at Ray's.
Ray knows LN is with Molly's people. Ray has not made the connection that LN must be dead in order to travel with them. Or he has, and figures Beef just married a woman who died young and she turned out really well... I'm sorry, I've just become overcome with a wave of surreality and feel a bit seasick
you're right, he gave them permission to take LN! he just didn't realize what that entailed.
Yeah, and if he can't get in touch with them there, then he's probably at Chamonix. He has a tab there with them for this sort of thing. Could be a solid year before Ray realized LN is gone.
But the body? Where's LN's body? And who is going to discover it? And what state will it be in??
OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIT!
that year will be filled with the torturous existence of LN in a Heaven that is more like hell, as he endures the life of a Welsh peasant under a very strict father and mother. It matures him and he returns a changed young man, more able to integrate and socialize with the dominant age group above his
i called it
As your haberdasher, I must recommend printing this strip out and making it into an attractive pirate hat/explanation about children.
Aw crap, I accidentally lamed you. I was trying to lame that sevendaughters person beneath you. I fail.
Actually, it could have been. A couple of weeks ago, I got the 3-day silent treatment because I didn't know "doing philosophy" would be my ticket out of an uncomfortable conversation.