jdhenry105
+4 -0
Oh Beef. Oh Beef.
Oh Beef. Oh Beef.
havenless
+10 -1
Well that settles it, next time someone makes me crumby food, they're being forwarded to a psychiatrist.
Well that settles it, next time someone makes me crumby food, they're being forwarded to a psychiatrist.
spinynorman
+30 -0
Usually you can tell if someone is depressed by the food they're making for themselves rather than what they give to other people. If a man is going to the trouble of making butternut squash curry with cilantro and pampadans then he clearly has energy, gumption, and confidence. If a man is making a Velveeta Sandwich with Heinz, he is in a Very Bad State Indeed.
Keep sharp things away from him and cook him something viscous and spicy. Keep him away from windows as well.
Usually you can tell if someone is depressed by the food they're making for themselves rather than what they give to other people. If a man is going to the trouble of making butternut squash curry with cilantro and pampadans then he clearly has energy, gumption, and confidence. If a man is making a Velveeta Sandwich with Heinz, he is in a Very Bad State Indeed.
Keep sharp things away from him and cook him something viscous and spicy. Keep him away from windows as well.
meowmix
+11 -0
He's doing even worse if he makes the sandwich with Hunt's.
He's doing even worse if he makes the sandwich with Hunt's.
spinynorman
+6 -0
Hunt's. That was it. Hunt's.
Hunt's. That was it. Hunt's.
idsyen
+22 -0
A man who would use Hunt's catsup is truly staring into the void.
A man who would use Hunt's catsup is truly staring into the void.
rawk5tar
+1 -0
And say nothing about he who prefers catsup over ketchup.
And say nothing about he who prefers catsup over ketchup.
dusty
+1 -0
Truly it is the condiment of the cold and damned.
Truly it is the condiment of the cold and damned.
fattypneumonia
+1 -0
"This toe-MAY-toe will be Heinz Ketchup. And this toe-MAH-toe will be Hunt's Catsup."
"This toe-MAY-toe will be Heinz Ketchup. And this toe-MAH-toe will be Hunt's Catsup."
shoinan
+10 -0
I made a butternut squash risotto for myself the other day. You've just made me feel good about myself, although apparently you did not need to.
I made a butternut squash risotto for myself the other day. You've just made me feel good about myself, although apparently you did not need to.
rowboat
+0 -0
The only dishes I ever make for myself or for others are egg-heavy breakfast dishes, most of which will be smothered in sriracha. It does not matter what time of day or night it is. Deconstruct that shit.
The only dishes I ever make for myself or for others are egg-heavy breakfast dishes, most of which will be smothered in sriracha. It does not matter what time of day or night it is. Deconstruct that shit.
fermatprime
+2 -0
I would, but I'm worried they'd send me to "caramel lattice prison," and I would "drop" the "demi-glaze soap."
I would, but I'm worried they'd send me to "caramel lattice prison," and I would "drop" the "demi-glaze soap."
melloclello
+2 -0
I remember reading this comment, a good year or so back. For some reason it was one of the few things I have read that have stuck with me. Tonight, I took it to heart, and cooked myself the best meal that I have had in a good three weeks. It was just a simple spaghetti bolognese, but believe you me, I cut no corners in its construction. The sense of control it gave me was as uplifting as one could hope for.
I remember reading this comment, a good year or so back. For some reason it was one of the few things I have read that have stuck with me. Tonight, I took it to heart, and cooked myself the best meal that I have had in a good three weeks. It was just a simple spaghetti bolognese, but believe you me, I cut no corners in its construction. The sense of control it gave me was as uplifting as one could hope for.
quinlaenar
+0 -0
I beg to differ. I am in a fairly decent state, I just cannot stand cooking or fancy foods in general. Give me a steak. Give me a velveeta sandwich. Give me something that I can cook in five minutes without having to stand there preparing for more than one minute.
I beg to differ. I am in a fairly decent state, I just cannot stand cooking or fancy foods in general. Give me a steak. Give me a velveeta sandwich. Give me something that I can cook in five minutes without having to stand there preparing for more than one minute.
quinlaenar
+0 -0
THAT'S RIGHT, I JUST DISAGREED WITH YOU TWO YEARS LATER, WHAT NOW?!
THAT'S RIGHT, I JUST DISAGREED WITH YOU TWO YEARS LATER, WHAT NOW?!
invidious
+0 -0
Quote:
A shocking recent study reveals that 60% of all psychiatrists now work for Denny's.
Quote:
Well that settles it, next time someone makes me crumby food, they're being forwarded to a psychiatrist.
A shocking recent study reveals that 60% of all psychiatrists now work for Denny's.
robstrong
+1 -0
the varied perspective..... magnificent!
the varied perspective..... magnificent!
m1st3rbl4ck
+8 -0
yes basically around seven.
i have never once gotten tired of how roast beef talks.
yes basically around seven.
i have never once gotten tired of how roast beef talks.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
A comment left by hellofyellin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ezcmac, Overmedicated, clembot, teenheat)
A comment left by hellofyellin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ezcmac, Overmedicated, clembot, teenheat)
jezebel
+0 -0
I guess, basically, that my family thinks I, basically, have brain damage due to the fact that I, basically, constantly use this adverb now. Basically.
I guess, basically, that my family thinks I, basically, have brain damage due to the fact that I, basically, constantly use this adverb now. Basically.
farqussus
+0 -1
you do
you do
rowboat
+1 -0
Six commas in one sentence is almost never a good sign. Basically.
Six commas in one sentence is almost never a good sign. Basically.
overmedicated
+0 -0
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGHHHHH
mockereo
+0 -0
I'd suggest Ex-lax immediately, then activia to help regulate your digestion. I mean they fucking named that bacteria Bifidus regularis , its gotta help you poop.
I'd suggest Ex-lax immediately, then activia to help regulate your digestion. I mean they fucking named that bacteria Bifidus regularis , its gotta help you poop.
m3funkyb
+10 -0
ray doesn't know why fried foods don't stay crispy very long
ray doesn't know why fried foods don't stay crispy very long
spectre
+1 -2
Alt text: "actual noe on the monitor: ADD RAY'S NIPPLES"
Alt text: "actual noe on the monitor: ADD RAY'S NIPPLES"
lordhumungus
+2 -0
I've always wondered why Ray has nipples but not the other cats.
I've always wondered why Ray has nipples but not the other cats.
spectre
+5 -2
tonight i'm serving my family crummy chimichangas
:-(
tonight i'm serving my family crummy chimichangas
:-(
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
Umm, I hope everything got worked out there, Spectre. Its cool. we love you. Just order from a nice mexican place!
Umm, I hope everything got worked out there, Spectre. Its cool. we love you. Just order from a nice mexican place!
nilehus
+2 -0
guys, really
lamin the dude
stone cold
guys, really
lamin the dude
stone cold
rowboat
+2 -0
You didn't taste his chimichangas. He's lucky he didn't get marked as spam.
You didn't taste his chimichangas. He's lucky he didn't get marked as spam.
gussiejives
+4 -0
Beef is the king of the nervous simultaneous back/face scratch.
Beef is the king of the nervous simultaneous back/face scratch.
dasilodavi
+8 -0
Expressing a need for help is a difficult thing. Sometimes recognizing that cry is equally as difficult. Ray wants to help his friend, and no doubt sees a great opportunity for help AND self-affirmation after feeling marginalized by Roast Beef's programming and nacho-making talents. He is so intent on making this moment work he has not considered the possibility the abysmal chimichangas are intentional. This is a shame, but we must have confidence that these two compatriots can "understand the lack of understanding." Such is the way of true friendship.
Expressing a need for help is a difficult thing. Sometimes recognizing that cry is equally as difficult. Ray wants to help his friend, and no doubt sees a great opportunity for help AND self-affirmation after feeling marginalized by Roast Beef's programming and nacho-making talents. He is so intent on making this moment work he has not considered the possibility the abysmal chimichangas are intentional. This is a shame, but we must have confidence that these two compatriots can "understand the lack of understanding." Such is the way of true friendship.
naughtybyn8ture
+1 -1
love the alt text
love the alt text
wae
+2 -0
A very serious look at the hilarity of Beef's depression.
A very serious look at the hilarity of Beef's depression.
pez
+18 -0
i just got a serving job at a mexican restaurant and whenever i serve soggy chimis i stand beside the table long after ive served with a look of longing in my eyes
i just got a serving job at a mexican restaurant and whenever i serve soggy chimis i stand beside the table long after ive served with a look of longing in my eyes
ham_shoes
+0 -0
That's gotta make the customers feel comfortable. Did you maybe get fired...?
That's gotta make the customers feel comfortable. Did you maybe get fired...?
landowmpg
+1 -0
He didn't reply. Something horrible has happened.
He didn't reply. Something horrible has happened.
jonnay
+0 -1
Dammit Ray!
Dammit Ray!
nymphadoria
+0 -0
Sometimes the middle cat just needs help...ruined chimichangas aside.
Sometimes the middle cat just needs help...ruined chimichangas aside.
laserblade
+0 -1
The " dammit " in italics makes this a 5.
The " dammit " in italics makes this a 5.
mattylite
+3 -0
Imagine what Ray typed after "Dear Diary" that night...
Imagine what Ray typed after "Dear Diary" that night...
thedice
+0 -0
I know I will.
I know I will.
babeeazz
+0 -0
the food comics are the best.
the food comics are the best.
I absolutely love Ray's open mouth in the last panel, he's just ramblin on in such a way as a fool does.