hexjumper
+5 -0
Someday, I will eat a piece of brie such in the manner of a piece of pie.
And then I will feel ashamed.
Someday, I will eat a piece of brie such in the manner of a piece of pie.
And then I will feel ashamed.
sleeps
+0 -0
A comment left by sleeps was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, CygnusX-1, divot, carbonbl, KtistecMachine, saddestking, riotdejaneiro, cryztal, atom, Overmedicated, Thorfinn, Narcolepticdog, Jesler729, GMM, atticusonline, brzbee, heartofoak, luckypyjamas, RBisme, aHatOfPig, mystkmanat, ravindra108, Zem, oniasyria, ralgnar, erinye, Xaxx, Doc_Rostov, echidnaboy, Mastronaut)
A comment left by sleeps was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, CygnusX-1, divot, carbonbl, KtistecMachine, saddestking, riotdejaneiro, cryztal, atom, Overmedicated, Thorfinn, Narcolepticdog, Jesler729, GMM, atticusonline, brzbee, heartofoak, luckypyjamas, RBisme, aHatOfPig, mystkmanat, ravindra108, Zem, oniasyria, ralgnar, erinye, Xaxx, Doc_Rostov, echidnaboy, Mastronaut)
saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, straw, apocowarg, riotdejaneiro, Overmedicated, Thorfinn, Deusoma, fosters, GMM, heartofoak, the_doz, mountain)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ted0phile, straw, apocowarg, riotdejaneiro, Overmedicated, Thorfinn, Deusoma, fosters, GMM, heartofoak, the_doz, mountain)
heccibiggs
+16 -0
I conquered.
I conquered.
gunsofray
+6 -0
iPod.
wait, what?
iPod.
wait, what?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
A comment left by fineoakstructure was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by snowman, jezebel, eRiUukFJk)
A comment left by fineoakstructure was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by snowman, jezebel, eRiUukFJk)
gumfish
+1 -0
Hey-o!
Hey-o!
dropkickpikachu
+0 -0
A comment left by dropkickpikachu was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, lastlarf, gkiyo)
A comment left by dropkickpikachu was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, lastlarf, gkiyo)
anomalous3
+23 -0
how can beef say things thatsound so cool when he says them but would sound like they came out of a 9-year old dungeon master's mouth if anyone else said them?
how can beef say things thatsound so cool when he says them but would sound like they came out of a 9-year old dungeon master's mouth if anyone else said them?
soticoto
+6 -0
Because Beef is basically awesome.
Because Beef is basically awesome.
singtralala
+1 -0
i dunno, seems to me he's talkin' all pimp on this one, but yeah, he gets extra points on his words for being basically awesome
i dunno, seems to me he's talkin' all pimp on this one, but yeah, he gets extra points on his words for being basically awesome
riazm
+6 -1
I tell my friends to retract when tey are making an error.
I tell my friends to retract when tey are making an error.
riazm
+1 -0
It really pisses them off.
It really pisses them off.
shirt145
+2 -0
Oh really, do tey make a lot of errors?
Oh really, do tey make a lot of errors?
riazm
+7 -0
tey make the most errors.
tey make the most errors.
gunsofray
+2 -0
RETRACT
RETRACT
wehavemagnums
+0 -0
Beef gets playful.
Beef gets playful.
iovine
+1 -0
That's exactly how it is. Why isn't Ray returning fire?
That's exactly how it is. Why isn't Ray returning fire?
eggytoast
+12 -0
Because he's going "What?"
Because he's going "What?"
epicurus
+6 -0
I love how Beef completely steamrolls Ray's command that he retract. Beef is stone telling it like it is.
I love how Beef completely steamrolls Ray's command that he retract. Beef is stone telling it like it is.
djwhiterabbit
+3 -1
dang man beef really got a set.
dang man beef really got a set.
woof
+13 -1
alt text: Little Darwin fish emblem with the word BITCH inside
alt text: Little Darwin fish emblem with the word BITCH inside
mercuri0us
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mercuri0us
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
johnnybaverage
+0 -0
FACT: Every limo Elton John has ever used has one of these on the back.*
*This is almost certainly not true.
FACT: Every limo Elton John has ever used has one of these on the back.*
*This is almost certainly not true.
morganization
+0 -0
A comment left by morganization was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Connellingus, luasn, the_doz, LRosetw8)
A comment left by morganization was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Connellingus, luasn, the_doz, LRosetw8)
nabeel84
+14 -0
I have gotten so used to Beef's style of speech when I read that line I added a "such" automatically, as in "French dudes also walk several miles each way to buy such as an artichoke or a fig."
I have gotten so used to Beef's style of speech when I read that line I added a "such" automatically, as in "French dudes also walk several miles each way to buy such as an artichoke or a fig."
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
'also such as walk several...'
'also such as walk several...'
centipede_damascus
+0 -0
Ray claims he is French, but that is only on his mother's side.
Ray claims he is French, but that is only on his mother's side.
soticoto
+0 -0
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, mystkmanat, cpnglxynchos)
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, mystkmanat, cpnglxynchos)
spinynorman
+4 -0
Teodor's family is from Minsk. He's Jewish. Probably not French.
Philippe is just 5.
Teodor's family is from Minsk. He's Jewish. Probably not French.
Philippe is just 5.
shutup_shutup
+0 -0
Teodor's last name always seemed very Romanian to me.
Teodor's last name always seemed very Romanian to me.
tfaironpirate
+0 -0
There is a Ray's Place answer on this. Ray refuses to call asking Téodor if his parents are from Romanian roots because it is too late at night.
There is a Ray's Place answer on this. Ray refuses to call asking Téodor if his parents are from Romanian roots because it is too late at night.
soticoto
+0 -0
Philippe is also an otter and many other things besides.
Philippe is also an otter and many other things besides.
littlefatdog
+0 -0
A comment left by littlefatdog was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, Connellingus, erinye, Direhaggis, LRosetw8, gkiyo)
A comment left by littlefatdog was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, Connellingus, erinye, Direhaggis, LRosetw8, gkiyo)
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
A comment left by fuckyoufriday was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, Girdag, Connellingus, luasn, erinye, Direhaggis, scraggg, LRosetw8, gkiyo)
A comment left by fuckyoufriday was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, Girdag, Connellingus, luasn, erinye, Direhaggis, scraggg, LRosetw8, gkiyo)
heccibiggs
+22 -0
What is this, YouTube?
What is this, YouTube?
vheissu
+1 -0
You are making a killing here, sassing the repetitors!
You are making a killing here, sassing the repetitors!
cagliostro
+0 -0
ICE BURN
ICE BURN
heccibiggs
+0 -1
Y'know, I've noticed you replying to many of my comments. You're not another stalker, are you? I've sort of had my fill of Assetbar stalkers. Dammit, I don't even have a picture of myself as my avatar anymore.
Y'know, I've noticed you replying to many of my comments. You're not another stalker, are you? I've sort of had my fill of Assetbar stalkers. Dammit, I don't even have a picture of myself as my avatar anymore.
cagliostro
+0 -0
Bugger, that's my stuffed otter fetish out of the box, then.
I'm really sorry if bad experiences have convinced you otherwise, but not all men on the Internet are sweaty-palmed social cripples who will hit on anything they have reason to believe might be female. I'm a Classics student currently in the middle of my Finals, and I started on the Achewood archives as a way of countering the tedium of endless revision. It was nice to find a corner of cyberspace where most of the people didn't come across as narrow-minded, hollering morons, so I made an account and attempted to join in the fun by commenting on things that seemed worthy of comment. Evidently I fucked up somehow. I apologise; I shall comment no more.
Bugger, that's my stuffed otter fetish out of the box, then.
I'm really sorry if bad experiences have convinced you otherwise, but not all men on the Internet are sweaty-palmed social cripples who will hit on anything they have reason to believe might be female. I'm a Classics student currently in the middle of my Finals, and I started on the Achewood archives as a way of countering the tedium of endless revision. It was nice to find a corner of cyberspace where most of the people didn't come across as narrow-minded, hollering morons, so I made an account and attempted to join in the fun by commenting on things that seemed worthy of comment. Evidently I fucked up somehow. I apologise; I shall comment no more.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Arrrggghh now I feel like a giant tool.
Arrrggghh now I feel like a giant tool.
fuckyoufriday
+6 -0
"What is this, youtube?"
"What is this, youtube?"
shoinan
+0 -0
This is why Ray learnt to fly.
This is why Ray learnt to fly.
woodenteeth
+10 -0
This is perfect best friend type dialogue. The bliss of calling bullshit on your mates like this. All bringing them back to earth so bad the re-entry is burning their ears.
This is perfect best friend type dialogue. The bliss of calling bullshit on your mates like this. All bringing them back to earth so bad the re-entry is burning their ears.
dartigen
+0 -0
The best part is when they take 30 seconds or more to realise they just got taken to school in the car of Pain, and then backpedaling because they know they got nothing.
The best part is when they take 30 seconds or more to realise they just got taken to school in the car of Pain, and then backpedaling because they know they got nothing.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... and then staring at them mockingly as if the backpedalling is even mildly believable.
... and then staring at them mockingly as if the backpedalling is even mildly believable.
deusoma
+0 -0
I never understood the people who said they wanted individual panels on T-shirts or posters until I saw panel seven today.
I never understood the people who said they wanted individual panels on T-shirts or posters until I saw panel seven today.
fielding
+1 -0
I'm sorry, Mr. Smookiliyay. The mistake was entirely mine.
I'm sorry, Mr. Smookiliyay. The mistake was entirely mine.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
Oh, man, I would love a wedge of brie in the manner of pie!
Oh, man, I would love a wedge of brie in the manner of pie!
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Unexpressed anger manifests itself in nasty ways. Next time your sister is being a bitch, let her know, you'll both be better off in the long run.
Unexpressed anger manifests itself in nasty ways. Next time your sister is being a bitch, let her know, you'll both be better off in the long run.
drskradley
+1 -1
Beef has sass in his mains.
Beef has sass in his mains.
cailetshadow
+4 -0
When someone tells you to Retract calling them a bitch, this is pretty much the way to do the opposite of that.
When someone tells you to Retract calling them a bitch, this is pretty much the way to do the opposite of that.
quarantine
+1 -0
This is the single greatest strip ever.
This is the single greatest strip ever.
falseprophet
+0 -0
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by fosters, chivalress, luasn, gethen, wingspan)
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by fosters, chivalress, luasn, gethen, wingspan)
bixschmix
+2 -0
I do not think that this is true.
I do not think that this is true.
professorhazard
+6 -0
What manner of man does not give this strip the "5" it deserves?
A bitchy-bitch bitch man.
What manner of man does not give this strip the "5" it deserves?
A bitchy-bitch bitch man.
ctrl_z
+0 -0
This strip is an automatic 7:5
This strip is an automatic 7:5
niraj
+0 -0
I have said "Retract dude! Retract." to a friend before
I have said "Retract dude! Retract." to a friend before
flandango
+1 -0
The truth doesn't hurt for Ray. It only confuses him.
The truth doesn't hurt for Ray. It only confuses him.
xiaomimi
+23 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: Happy holidays...to everybody! That's right, everybody!
Today's Blogs
Ray: Happy holidays...to everybody! That's right, everybody!
tekende
+0 -0
This blog entry is gold.
"Happy holidays to anyone who is in a CT Scan machine right now, at this exact moment. I hope it's nothing serious."
This blog entry is gold.
"Happy holidays to anyone who is in a CT Scan machine right now, at this exact moment. I hope it's nothing serious."
drago25
+1 -0
I admire a cat can use the word "bitch" like that, artful like.
I admire a cat can use the word "bitch" like that, artful like.
unsentletter
+0 -0
" Retract "
" Retract "
direhaggis
+0 -0
Roast Beef is willing to entertain the semi-frequent business scheme by Ray, but when the cat just down thick lays it on, Beef knows he has to call bullshit to keep the man in check.
Roast Beef is willing to entertain the semi-frequent business scheme by Ray, but when the cat just down thick lays it on, Beef knows he has to call bullshit to keep the man in check.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I love the discipline of always drawing the eyebrows a little different so we the readers don't get that "talking heads" vibe.
I love the discipline of always drawing the eyebrows a little different so we the readers don't get that "talking heads" vibe.
ctaronno
+0 -0
Roast Beef tells it like it is.
Roast Beef tells it like it is.
eatmorekix
+4 -0
my dream vanity plate was always been "B1TCH"
you could cut people off and they'd just be like "oh well, that makes sense doesn't it."
my dream vanity plate was always been "B1TCH"
you could cut people off and they'd just be like "oh well, that makes sense doesn't it."
alzuna
+2 -0
Some guy cut me off the other day and I was like 'what the hell, that guy is a jerk, probably the king of all jerks.'
The license plate said JERK1. So, it is the truth you speak.
Some guy cut me off the other day and I was like 'what the hell, that guy is a jerk, probably the king of all jerks.'
The license plate said JERK1. So, it is the truth you speak.
zapatos
+1 -0
So was JERK1 the king of all jerks, or the prototype all jerks were based off of? "He was such a jerk, we had to tone down his jerk for the rest of the batch of jerks." -Science
So was JERK1 the king of all jerks, or the prototype all jerks were based off of? "He was such a jerk, we had to tone down his jerk for the rest of the batch of jerks." -Science
puguglypress
+0 -0
geez, that was u, sorry
geez, that was u, sorry
singtralala
+2 -0
i'm so the opposite of bitchy parking, i'd rather leave my car a few blocks from where i'm headed just to get a little walking done or to annoy people who're riding with me and are not too fond on the step-steppity step-step
i'm so the opposite of bitchy parking, i'd rather leave my car a few blocks from where i'm headed just to get a little walking done or to annoy people who're riding with me and are not too fond on the step-steppity step-step
erinye
+0 -0
I just quoted the entirety of panels 7 and 9 to my boyfriend over AIM during a discussion about vibrators.
His reaction was not unlike Ray's.
I just quoted the entirety of panels 7 and 9 to my boyfriend over AIM during a discussion about vibrators.
His reaction was not unlike Ray's.
tekende
+0 -0
How did your conversation go from vibrators to parking
I can not imagine this scenario
How did your conversation go from vibrators to parking
I can not imagine this scenario
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
think about it, man...
they've gotta have a place to park somewhere ...
think about it, man...
they've gotta have a place to park somewhere ...
deusoma
+0 -0
Once again, Roast Beef goes insane with sass. Easiest 5 I ever handed out.
Once again, Roast Beef goes insane with sass. Easiest 5 I ever handed out.
nicejames
+0 -0
Roast Beef is my favorite and this is one of my favorites. (no lie)
Roast Beef is my favorite and this is one of my favorites. (no lie)
hellofditties
+0 -0
I'm calling your bluff.
I'm calling your bluff.
puguglypress
+0 -0
"Remember just watchin' Mister Wizard? I never gave diabetes a thought back then."
"Remember just watchin' Mister Wizard? I never gave diabetes a thought back then."
legaltenderness
+0 -0
This was the first achewood comic I ever read. The FIRST . Truly beautiful.
This was the first achewood comic I ever read. The FIRST . Truly beautiful.
redion
+0 -0
i work at a supermarket. like ten times a day, there are bitch-parkers that will stop the entire flow of traffic and force people to go around just so they can wait five minutes for someone to finish offloading their groceries nd leave. just for that front spot. when there is an empty and perfectly visible space a few spots over. they can't walk an extra twenty feet. jeezus.
i work at a supermarket. like ten times a day, there are bitch-parkers that will stop the entire flow of traffic and force people to go around just so they can wait five minutes for someone to finish offloading their groceries nd leave. just for that front spot. when there is an empty and perfectly visible space a few spots over. they can't walk an extra twenty feet. jeezus.
robotsneedhugs2
+0 -0
Redact it!
Redact it!
urbanoutlaw
+0 -0
There needs to be a scientific study done to determine if there is a connection between parking like a bitch and adult-onset diabetes. I'll bet one crisp American dollar there is.
There needs to be a scientific study done to determine if there is a connection between parking like a bitch and adult-onset diabetes. I'll bet one crisp American dollar there is.
bitchy-bitch bitch man. i love sassy roast beef when he aint hella depressed.
That and "wedge of brie in the manner of pie" tie for my favorite line in this strip.
what about "you park like you are the main bitch in all the land"?
an effective insult.
We get "bitchy-bitch bitch man" and "bitchy-bitch bitch-bitch" in the same strip. Fucking delightful.
The best part is, you know exactly how both those phrases are supposed to sound.
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Carlyle, sirhan_duran, riotdejaneiro, trisha, SpinyNorman, mystkmanat, eddylee, deovalente, cpnglxynchos, Direhaggis, Doc_Rostov, ubersplat)
While the "Nader-with-testicles" fish is all standing by, laughing.
It was a Friday night, and soticoto was at home browsing through the Achewood archives. He read the comments for the strip "Ray parks like a bitch" and paused in a thread about some of the strip dialogue.
He clicked reply. "What can I say here," he thought, "that doesn't pertain to the discussion at hand, barely makes sense, and is just completely unnecessary and borderline offensive?" He stroked his chin lightly with an index finger, feeling for the one curly hair that grew just below his lip.
"Aha!" he said aloud, and began to type. "Like the Darwin-Fish with the word Bitch..."
Tekende pops soticoto in the toaster for 5 minutes and smothers him in a thick helping of sass .
That word puzzles me.
Why does a word that is supposed to imply insulting instead give the impression of implying hugs and nuzzlings? Sass is the sort of thing I would call a fluffy cat that makes the most affectionate noises when given pettings.
It puzzles you because you can't handle it. Like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that you can't handle.
*Quirks eyebrow*
Nope. That isn't it.
I already explained why it puzzled me, so why speculate? And why bring jigsaws into it when any jigsaw is essentially my bitch?
While I'm all up for deviating for reality and wasting time as a matter of course, the way you combine the two seems to leave a sour taste in the mouth. Like it just doesn't fit right.
But I suppose you might eventually get it right if you keep trying. Even retards aren't wrong all the time.
RETRACT
It is Totally Justified Best-Friend Testimony.
Ray is blaming his genes for his lazy-ass, bitchy-bitch ways that will lead down the road to ruin and onset-diabetes. He needs to be set straight quick with right hand jabs to the bullshit apparatus.
A true friend will do this.
Compare to his exchange with Teodor in a similar situation. Ray really does need to be ripped into solidly, and Beef is definitely the man for the job.