smallblackdog
+0 -0
Noooooooooo!
Noooooooooo!
mrprim
+0 -1
There's something so... so alluring about a blank comment section. Imagine my surprise when I see that a new Achewood is up and there are NO ASSETBAR POSTS. Something in my brain drives me to type that accursed word... something awful and lizard-like and... nearly uncontrollable.
I will control it, I WILL NOT ALLOW THE INTERNET TO CONTROL ME!
Also, is anyone else a little creeped out by the idea of a friend specifically contracting out pornographic stories from another friend... not just once but on multiple occasions?
On the other hand, if one of those friends is Ray - it all just makes so much sense.
There's something so... so alluring about a blank comment section. Imagine my surprise when I see that a new Achewood is up and there are NO ASSETBAR POSTS. Something in my brain drives me to type that accursed word... something awful and lizard-like and... nearly uncontrollable.
I will control it, I WILL NOT ALLOW THE INTERNET TO CONTROL ME!
Also, is anyone else a little creeped out by the idea of a friend specifically contracting out pornographic stories from another friend... not just once but on multiple occasions?
On the other hand, if one of those friends is Ray - it all just makes so much sense.
mrprim
+4 -1
I mean, I knew that was going to happen. I did. I feel like a buffoon, Assetbar.
A BUFFOON!
I mean, I knew that was going to happen. I did. I feel like a buffoon, Assetbar.
A BUFFOON!
wolfensti
+0 -0
Damn you phone, you put me 1 minute late
Woe to you and my Grandma !
Damn you phone, you put me 1 minute late
Woe to you and my Grandma !
history
+4 -0
Fie on you for wishing woe on your grandma. You shame your betters!
Fie on you for wishing woe on your grandma. You shame your betters!
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Doth a pox trump a fie?
Doth a pox trump a fie?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
No, but I once trumped a pox. On a fox.
No, but I once trumped a pox. On a fox.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
whilst cleaning lox within my soiled smocks
whilst cleaning lox within my soiled smocks
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
There are antibiotics for that now.
There are antibiotics for that now.
smilebuddha
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
belgand
+1 -0
Hop on Pop is for external use only.
Hop on Pop is for external use only.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Bye bye thing, you sing too long.
That was truly a poignant moment for me. The little furry creature losing patience with the miraculous singing thing.
Bye bye thing, you sing too long.
That was truly a poignant moment for me. The little furry creature losing patience with the miraculous singing thing.
aelindil
+1 -0
Go Dog Go is vastly superior to Hop On Pop in literary merit. Why it was not nominated for the Pulitzer is beyond my power to contemplate.
Go Dog Go is vastly superior to Hop On Pop in literary merit. Why it was not nominated for the Pulitzer is beyond my power to contemplate.
belgand
+0 -0
At the risk of starting another interminable debate involving SJE I think "Go God Go" was even better. You are, otherwise, correct. It was the superior work.
At the risk of starting another interminable debate involving SJE I think "Go God Go" was even better. You are, otherwise, correct. It was the superior work.
sje46
+0 -0
YOU PIECE OF SCUM ITS SPELLED sje ITS LOWERCASE OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO QUIT THIS PLACE
[/quitarhero]
YOU PIECE OF SCUM ITS SPELLED sje ITS LOWERCASE OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO QUIT THIS PLACE
[/quitarhero]
sje46
+0 -0
That was as much a start of a debate as that q was a g.
That was as much a start of a debate as that q was a g.
phoenixultima
+0 -2
I think it says a lot about achewood that strips that are merely "good" are bashed simply because they aren't "great", like the GOF arc, or the stoned softball league arc.
That said, yeah, this particular arc is relatively weak
I think it says a lot about achewood that strips that are merely "good" are bashed simply because they aren't "great", like the GOF arc, or the stoned softball league arc.
That said, yeah, this particular arc is relatively weak
tetsujin
+0 -0
Saying a strip "isn't great" is just a polite (or noncommittal?) way of saying it sucked ...
Saying a strip "isn't great" is just a polite (or noncommittal?) way of saying it sucked ...
fancypants
+4 -1
*twitch* what do you mean dude all the achewood arcs are golden i mean what do you want this is a free comic put up for your leisure maybe you should step back and take your head out of your ass
[blinks in Morse code] People here lame users simply for articulating their opinions stop Get help stop This is a prison stop [/blinks in Morse code]
*twitch* what do you mean dude all the achewood arcs are golden i mean what do you want this is a free comic put up for your leisure maybe you should step back and take your head out of your ass
[blinks in Morse code] People here lame users simply for articulating their opinions stop Get help stop This is a prison stop [/blinks in Morse code]
fancypants
+0 -2
Ironic lames are ironic
Ironic lames are ironic
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Wow, "ironic" looks really weird with a capital "I".
Wow, "ironic" looks really weird with a capital "I".
morypcaina
+0 -0
Hubbard is the furthest thing from ironic.
Hubbard is the furthest thing from ironic.
tripperday
+0 -1
If people voice shitty opinions, why not lame them?
If people voice shitty opinions, why not lame them?
tripperday
+1 -0
Also, shittiness is in the eye of the beholder.
Also, shittiness is in the eye of the beholder.
fancypants
+0 -0
And it burrrrrrns
And it burrrrrrns
thegoblins
+1 -0
Hell of infections are sure to ensue.
Hell of infections are sure to ensue.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
What does that have to do with blinking shit?
What does that have to do with blinking shit?
thegoblins
+0 -0
E-coli in your eye.
E-coli in your eye.
expellens
+0 -0
...and that's how we get pink eye
...and that's how we get pink eye
johnmatrix
+0 -1
"I don't like this arc."
"You don't like what I like? That's a shitty opinion!"
Get over yourself.
"I don't like this arc."
"You don't like what I like? That's a shitty opinion!"
Get over yourself.
stereo
+0 -1
Wow, the lame gnomes are really having fun today.
Wow, the lame gnomes are really having fun today.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It's their new year.
It's their new year.
vice
+0 -2
Oh My God. The Most Perfect Strip to Write, EVER!!!
Oh My God. The Most Perfect Strip to Write, EVER!!!
carrollhach
+1 -1
Onstad, this shit would not be as bad as it is if Achewood hadn't once been as good as it was. Yet another lame half-baked idea spun into multiple strips. Even your language is deserting you.
Onstad, this shit would not be as bad as it is if Achewood hadn't once been as good as it was. Yet another lame half-baked idea spun into multiple strips. Even your language is deserting you.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I don't agree with that last point, but yeah. This concept has gone far past the sale.
I don't agree with that last point, but yeah. This concept has gone far past the sale.
jar
+0 -0
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I love achewood and all, but I feel even if I did have an intimate knowledge of the Williams-Sonoma world this strip still wouldn't be that funny.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I love achewood and all, but I feel even if I did have an intimate knowledge of the Williams-Sonoma world this strip still wouldn't be that funny.
joestork
+0 -0
Yeah, Cornelius has been serving up a lot of suck lately, hasn't he?
This ain't funny, the stripper-girlfriend arc was plain awful... the badass games were pretty half-assed.
Was he ever funny?
Someone post some good Connie strips, prove me wrong. As far as I can remember, he's only funny when he's talking to Phillipe ("what a rotten application of oneself!")
Oh yeah, and "So Many Whales"
Yeah, Cornelius has been serving up a lot of suck lately, hasn't he?
This ain't funny, the stripper-girlfriend arc was plain awful... the badass games were pretty half-assed.
Was he ever funny?
Someone post some good Connie strips, prove me wrong. As far as I can remember, he's only funny when he's talking to Phillipe ("what a rotten application of oneself!")
Oh yeah, and "So Many Whales"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
His Michael Jackson "so-it-goes" was pretty funny in a depressing way.
His Michael Jackson "so-it-goes" was pretty funny in a depressing way.
wolfensti
+0 -0
I Liked the Shrovis-Bishtorpe arc, but i'm not sure if i am alone in this
I Liked the Shrovis-Bishtorpe arc, but i'm not sure if i am alone in this
joestork
+0 -0
Yeah, I actually hated that arc, no offense (except for the name of the computer, which was brilliant)
I guess I see Cornelius as symbolic of everything that's become longwinded and labored about Achewood. Remember when you didn't have to scroll down to read most strips? And they were paced out perfectly, like expert jazz licks (to use a corny but I think apt comparison)?
Yeah, I actually hated that arc, no offense (except for the name of the computer, which was brilliant)
I guess I see Cornelius as symbolic of everything that's become longwinded and labored about Achewood. Remember when you didn't have to scroll down to read most strips? And they were paced out perfectly, like expert jazz licks (to use a corny but I think apt comparison)?
wolfensti
+0 -0
Well you are entitled to your opinion.
Dick
Well you are entitled to your opinion.
Dick
belgand
+0 -0
He is using a Cerebus avatar. Does that not tell you all you need to know?
He is using a Cerebus avatar. Does that not tell you all you need to know?
joestork
+0 -0
I am burned but also delighted.
I am burned but also delighted.
wolfensti
+0 -0
I am not knowing of this, considering my background is different from yours.
I am not knowing of this, considering my background is different from yours.
belgand
+1 -0
Dave Sim wrote and drew a lengthy comic (ultimately setting and reaching the goal of 300 issues) called Cerebus. While he was a strong and outspoken figure for creator-owned content, self-publishing, and the rights of comic creators as opposed to the work-for-hire systems at the big two publishers he was also kind of a massive dick (especially due to strong opinions) and would cause no end of controversy relating to religion and gender (accusations of misogyny abound, but I'd go one further and state that it's not quite enough as he was an ass to both genders). I'm not even going to get into the part where he switched from being an atheist to becoming jewish/christian/muslim (yes, all three together) and inventing his own prayers.
The take-away message here is that regardless of how you feel about him or his work he's a controversial figure and choosing to identify yourself with him or his works certainly says something about you.
No offense intended to joestork. It's just the ability to relate being called a dick (and the specific reasons for such) and Dave Sim is too easy to pass up.
Dave Sim wrote and drew a lengthy comic (ultimately setting and reaching the goal of 300 issues) called Cerebus. While he was a strong and outspoken figure for creator-owned content, self-publishing, and the rights of comic creators as opposed to the work-for-hire systems at the big two publishers he was also kind of a massive dick (especially due to strong opinions) and would cause no end of controversy relating to religion and gender (accusations of misogyny abound, but I'd go one further and state that it's not quite enough as he was an ass to both genders). I'm not even going to get into the part where he switched from being an atheist to becoming jewish/christian/muslim (yes, all three together) and inventing his own prayers.
The take-away message here is that regardless of how you feel about him or his work he's a controversial figure and choosing to identify yourself with him or his works certainly says something about you.
No offense intended to joestork. It's just the ability to relate being called a dick (and the specific reasons for such) and Dave Sim is too easy to pass up.
joestork
+0 -0
"In one of those "Poor Us" studies for which the Emotional Female Void is notorious, it was pointed out that after a divorce, the average male standard of living rises... the average female standard of living drops... I think the explanation is that the excision of a five-to-six- foot leech from the surface of a human body is going to have more of its own blood in its own veins. Unless the leech finds another body, it is going to go hungry." - Dave Sim
Yeah, I'd say he's a *little* bit of a dick.
But my handle is from Krazy Kat, does that mitigate?
"In one of those "Poor Us" studies for which the Emotional Female Void is notorious, it was pointed out that after a divorce, the average male standard of living rises... the average female standard of living drops... I think the explanation is that the excision of a five-to-six- foot leech from the surface of a human body is going to have more of its own blood in its own veins. Unless the leech finds another body, it is going to go hungry." - Dave Sim
Yeah, I'd say he's a *little* bit of a dick.
But my handle is from Krazy Kat, does that mitigate?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The purveyor of progeny to prince and proletariat gets my seal of approval any day.
The purveyor of progeny to prince and proletariat gets my seal of approval any day.
howl
+0 -0
Wow. That is... really, really sexist, actually. You're right, he is an asshole.
Wow. That is... really, really sexist, actually. You're right, he is an asshole.
joestork
+0 -0
Dave Sim is a super weird guy.
Dave Sim the writer is capable of great sensitivity and depth. Many of his best-drawn characters (in the literary sense) are female, and they are usually portrayed as anything but one-dimensional parasites.
Dave Sim the polemicist, on the other hand, is capable of... well... saying shit like the quote above.
But so was William Burroughs, apparently. And many others. Not that I think they should be let off the hook, either -- but Dave Sim's reputation has been so securely tied to his politics that his near-otherworldly genius often goes unaknowledged. I think that's a little sad.
(It might also have to do with the fact that the back half of Cerebus is -- sexism aside -- both visually and thematically almost totally unreadably bananas)
Dave Sim is a super weird guy.
Dave Sim the writer is capable of great sensitivity and depth. Many of his best-drawn characters (in the literary sense) are female, and they are usually portrayed as anything but one-dimensional parasites.
Dave Sim the polemicist, on the other hand, is capable of... well... saying shit like the quote above.
But so was William Burroughs, apparently. And many others. Not that I think they should be let off the hook, either -- but Dave Sim's reputation has been so securely tied to his politics that his near-otherworldly genius often goes unaknowledged. I think that's a little sad.
(It might also have to do with the fact that the back half of Cerebus is -- sexism aside -- both visually and thematically almost totally unreadably bananas)
howl
+0 -0
That's interesting that his misogyny doesn't show through in his work. I always suspected that Ray Bradbury was sexist because practically all of his women characters are just terrible. Not necessarily terrible in that they're not well written (that depends what you think of his writing) but in that they're totally unpleasant.
That's interesting that his misogyny doesn't show through in his work. I always suspected that Ray Bradbury was sexist because practically all of his women characters are just terrible. Not necessarily terrible in that they're not well written (that depends what you think of his writing) but in that they're totally unpleasant.
joestork
+0 -0
Oh, don't get me wrong -- it shows. Beside the fact that most of his misogynistic quotes are taken from essays inserted directly (and quite incongruously) into the fucking comic book, there is plenty of other "give away" elements -- much of the story takes place in a feminist matriarchal dystopia, for instance.
It's just that there's also lots of other stuff that *isn't* like that, and some stuff that seems to directly contradict his declared worldview. Cerebus is absolutely humongous -- the guy worked on it from his early twenties to his late fifties. He changed as a person many times over the course of writing it (and not just because of all the acid he took). The work just cannot be boiled down to one single idea, no matter how venomous.
Oh, don't get me wrong -- it shows. Beside the fact that most of his misogynistic quotes are taken from essays inserted directly (and quite incongruously) into the fucking comic book, there is plenty of other "give away" elements -- much of the story takes place in a feminist matriarchal dystopia, for instance.
It's just that there's also lots of other stuff that *isn't* like that, and some stuff that seems to directly contradict his declared worldview. Cerebus is absolutely humongous -- the guy worked on it from his early twenties to his late fifties. He changed as a person many times over the course of writing it (and not just because of all the acid he took). The work just cannot be boiled down to one single idea, no matter how venomous.
belgand
+0 -0
Exactly. I haven't yet read through it for various reasons, but the iconic image of Dave Sim as crazy, rambling, misogynist asshole was one that could not be passed up. Hence my attempts to be a bit more circumspect for fear of offending anyone and being completely unable to back it up with actual knowledge. I'm largely just trading on reputation here.
Exactly. I haven't yet read through it for various reasons, but the iconic image of Dave Sim as crazy, rambling, misogynist asshole was one that could not be passed up. Hence my attempts to be a bit more circumspect for fear of offending anyone and being completely unable to back it up with actual knowledge. I'm largely just trading on reputation here.
joestork
+0 -0
don't worry, I wasn't offended at all, just mainly stoked that someone recognized the avatar -- thus giving me an excuse to babble about cerebus, something I don't get to do much in real life.
don't worry, I wasn't offended at all, just mainly stoked that someone recognized the avatar -- thus giving me an excuse to babble about cerebus, something I don't get to do much in real life.
octafish
+0 -0
I only liked the Elrod comics.
I only liked the Elrod comics.
rowboat
+0 -0
I just wish we could go maybe a week or two between arcs. The one-offs are as good as they've ever been. We just don't get to see them anymore.
I just wish we could go maybe a week or two between arcs. The one-offs are as good as they've ever been. We just don't get to see them anymore.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The last really good and classic-type one-off (dare I say Achewood of Antiquity, or antenuptial) that I can remember is the "Hot Tranny Mess" that we all almost missed. Philippe's Love Romance was a continuation of that old (but still golden) theme, and all other either fell short for one reason or another. Before that it was the Roast Beef's past comics during Christmastime.
The last really good and classic-type one-off (dare I say Achewood of Antiquity, or antenuptial) that I can remember is the "Hot Tranny Mess" that we all almost missed. Philippe's Love Romance was a continuation of that old (but still golden) theme, and all other either fell short for one reason or another. Before that it was the Roast Beef's past comics during Christmastime.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was ambivalent throughout but it has some gems. Much better than the current one, not that I totally hate it but it's not my favorite.
I was ambivalent throughout but it has some gems. Much better than the current one, not that I totally hate it but it's not my favorite.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I loved that laptop story.
I am sure I am alone in enjoying the Polly arc, which everyone else totally shat upon. Poor Connie.
They dissed Polly so hard. You did. You people reading this. For Shame! Connie will live and die alone thanks to you!
And furthermore.....
[IMGS OFF]
I loved that laptop story.
I am sure I am alone in enjoying the Polly arc, which everyone else totally shat upon. Poor Connie.
They dissed Polly so hard. You did. You people reading this. For Shame! Connie will live and die alone thanks to you!
And furthermore.....
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I liked it until she and he were all sassy up in Ray's place. The morning after was great. Past that, no tanx.
I liked it until she and he were all sassy up in Ray's place. The morning after was great. Past that, no tanx.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Belgand liked it.
Belgand liking something everyone else hates. It boggles the mind.
Belgand liked it.
Belgand liking something everyone else hates. It boggles the mind.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Ray deserved every drop of sass they gave him, and I'm not just saying that because Polly reminds me of my tall, leggy, sassy, vivacious stripper of an ex-paramour I wanted so fervently to spend the rest of my life with you bastard .
Ray deserved every drop of sass they gave him, and I'm not just saying that because Polly reminds me of my tall, leggy, sassy, vivacious stripper of an ex-paramour I wanted so fervently to spend the rest of my life with you bastard .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well it was kind of aimless sass. I love sass but it has to serve a purpose, otherwise it's just sass for sass' sake, which is a careless use of sass.
Do I get points for liking half of the arc?
Well it was kind of aimless sass. I love sass but it has to serve a purpose, otherwise it's just sass for sass' sake, which is a careless use of sass.
Do I get points for liking half of the arc?
rowboat
+0 -0
No. A point will be deducted for that. However, you gain it back for correct use of apostrophe where many otherwise decently intelligent folks would've been fatally tempted to add an extra "s."
No. A point will be deducted for that. However, you gain it back for correct use of apostrophe where many otherwise decently intelligent folks would've been fatally tempted to add an extra "s."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I do what I can.
I do what I can.
belgand
+2 -0
I am perhaps the most outspoken member of the regulars who enjoyed the Polly arc. I can see the complaints of other users and see how it might have felt forced at times, but I still liked it.
At the same time perhaps Onstad should realize that he's made many of his characters, especially Cornelius, rather one-note lately. Stop taking the easy road all the time and let's throw something new in here.
How about a flashback arc of Connie's younger years on the road (note: do not just self-consciously ape On The Road ) or Teodor on his lonesome. Show us what these characters are capable of and then resist the urge to run every idea into the ground with numerous iterations of the same basic joke.
I am perhaps the most outspoken member of the regulars who enjoyed the Polly arc. I can see the complaints of other users and see how it might have felt forced at times, but I still liked it.
At the same time perhaps Onstad should realize that he's made many of his characters, especially Cornelius, rather one-note lately. Stop taking the easy road all the time and let's throw something new in here.
How about a flashback arc of Connie's younger years on the road (note: do not just self-consciously ape On The Road ) or Teodor on his lonesome. Show us what these characters are capable of and then resist the urge to run every idea into the ground with numerous iterations of the same basic joke.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That's actually good advice. I mean GOF was basically what it was because we saw different sides of both characters, at least in my view (to use the old go-to example).
That's actually good advice. I mean GOF was basically what it was because we saw different sides of both characters, at least in my view (to use the old go-to example).
jar
+0 -0
I would be interested in seeing a solo Teodor arc. It seems like he's always used as a straight man for other people's wackiness and never really gets a chance to shine on his own.
I would be interested in seeing a solo Teodor arc. It seems like he's always used as a straight man for other people's wackiness and never really gets a chance to shine on his own.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Except in the nude
Except in the nude
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Unless it's two weeks of Cooking Jokes. Yeesh.
Unless it's two weeks of Cooking Jokes. Yeesh.
history
+1 -0
I would speculate that the strip has changed because Onstad's life has changed. He moved. It takes a year or more to get back to the level of comfort you had in your old home. Perhaps even longer if your old home was somewhere with which you held deep associations and memories.
As a personal example, my wife and I have moved quite a bit in our lives. It generally takes us 6-8 months before we hang our paintings on the walls which is a sign of accepting a location as home. It is not a conscious decision, that is just when we start caring enough to notice that the walls are bare.
I would speculate that the strip has changed because Onstad's life has changed. He moved. It takes a year or more to get back to the level of comfort you had in your old home. Perhaps even longer if your old home was somewhere with which you held deep associations and memories.
As a personal example, my wife and I have moved quite a bit in our lives. It generally takes us 6-8 months before we hang our paintings on the walls which is a sign of accepting a location as home. It is not a conscious decision, that is just when we start caring enough to notice that the walls are bare.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I've heard this reasoning before here, but I don't see what compels one to favor arcs over one-offs if the arcs don't really add to the character. Next time you see Lyle, will you be thinking of Darlene?
I realize this will come across as kind of aggressive (though others here have no qualms with that kind of thing), but I don't think that the current Achewood is "bad," at all. It's just not what I think most of us prefer. Not that we have any right that supersedes Onstad's, but I'm just saying.
I've heard this reasoning before here, but I don't see what compels one to favor arcs over one-offs if the arcs don't really add to the character. Next time you see Lyle, will you be thinking of Darlene?
I realize this will come across as kind of aggressive (though others here have no qualms with that kind of thing), but I don't think that the current Achewood is "bad," at all. It's just not what I think most of us prefer. Not that we have any right that supersedes Onstad's, but I'm just saying.
belgand
+0 -0
I disagree. The predilection for arcs that were poorly-received began before the move.
I disagree. The predilection for arcs that were poorly-received began before the move.
joestork
+0 -0
What? No, no, the guy is just running out of juice.
He can't think of funny things for the animals to say anymore, because he has been doing it for years and years and years and years and years and nothing lasts forever.
No other reason.
What? No, no, the guy is just running out of juice.
He can't think of funny things for the animals to say anymore, because he has been doing it for years and years and years and years and years and nothing lasts forever.
No other reason.
history
+0 -0
I agree. I don't think anything is 'bad' about achewood. It is still of a higher quality than most other webcomics. However, the tendency of late to rehash the same joke in a couple different ways makes me think Onstad has other things on his mind once in awhile. Its like he is stretching things out.
I agree. I don't think anything is 'bad' about achewood. It is still of a higher quality than most other webcomics. However, the tendency of late to rehash the same joke in a couple different ways makes me think Onstad has other things on his mind once in awhile. Its like he is stretching things out.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Good lord... I move about once a year. Being young and poor is a Thing.
Good lord... I move about once a year. Being young and poor is a Thing.
history
+0 -0
Being old(er) and poor is more of a thing.
Being old(er) and poor is more of a thing.
jeffspaulding
+1 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
pmbarrett
+3 -0
i also demand unlimited free entertainment that only ever gets better.
i also demand unlimited free entertainment that only ever gets better.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm just waiting for sexytimes! I don't think they're coming though :(.
I'm just waiting for sexytimes! I don't think they're coming though :(.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You have to wait for the weekend. That's when all the sexiness comes out.
You have to wait for the weekend. That's when all the sexiness comes out.
wolfensti
+0 -0
It's oozing. Possibly yellow
It's oozing. Possibly yellow
techiebabe
+0 -0
Oh, is that why you lock me in the closet every weekend, Hedo? You don't want me to get jealous?
Oh, is that why you lock me in the closet every weekend, Hedo? You don't want me to get jealous?
tekende
+0 -0
Nah, he just likes locking people in closets.
Nah, he just likes locking people in closets.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I have very nice closets. She just likes to complain... It's a big turnon for me
I have very nice closets. She just likes to complain... It's a big turnon for me
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Win-win . The foundation of a healthy relationship.
Win-win . The foundation of a healthy relationship.
21echoes
+7 -0
Riddle! What's the sound of a million 5s gettin' put into the assetbar machine? The sound of this stip, existing.
Riddle! What's the sound of a million 5s gettin' put into the assetbar machine? The sound of this stip, existing.
professorhazard
+2 -0
Only a three for me. I'm afraid that neither my face or mind deviated from the :| engendered by the "3" button during the course of reading.
Only a three for me. I'm afraid that neither my face or mind deviated from the :| engendered by the "3" button during the course of reading.
belgand
+1 -0
Yeah, it's good, but I can easily see it getting played out quickly as Onstad keeps trying to just write the same basic thing in a couple of different ways.
Still, I can't say that it doesn't have me reading through a copy of Cook's Illustrated with one hand on my imported heirloom-quality potato ricer.
Yeah, it's good, but I can easily see it getting played out quickly as Onstad keeps trying to just write the same basic thing in a couple of different ways.
Still, I can't say that it doesn't have me reading through a copy of Cook's Illustrated with one hand on my imported heirloom-quality potato ricer.
scorpio_nadir
+11 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is that a tiny mushroom cloud?
Is that a tiny mushroom cloud?
sherief
+1 -0
Nope. Jesus-flavored lollipop
Nope. Jesus-flavored lollipop
fancypants
+1 -0
How many licks does it take to get to the center of the logos? The world may never know.
But get up early on Sundays and maybe we'll give you some hints.
Maybe
How many licks does it take to get to the center of the logos? The world may never know.
But get up early on Sundays and maybe we'll give you some hints.
Maybe
thegoblins
+2 -0
I thought it was in the beginning.
I thought it was in the beginning.
srikamaraja
+3 -0
A logos? In MY arche? It's more episkopos than you think.
A logos? In MY arche? It's more episkopos than you think.
fancypants
+0 -0
So much Greek, so little thumon .
So much Greek, so little thumon .
aelindil
+0 -0
Screw you all for reminding me of my high school Bible teacher's obsession with exegesis.
Or just for reminding me I was required to take high school Bible classes.
Screw you all for reminding me of my high school Bible teacher's obsession with exegesis.
Or just for reminding me I was required to take high school Bible classes.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Me too. Old and New Testament.
Send money now
Me too. Old and New Testament.
Send money now
aelindil
+0 -0
SUPPORT EUTHANASIA FOR DUDES [and ladies] WHO HAVE BEEN FORCED TO TAKE BIBLE
SUPPORT EUTHANASIA FOR DUDES [and ladies] WHO HAVE BEEN FORCED TO TAKE BIBLE
sherief
+1 -0
I support all of our euth.
I support all of our euth.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I had to bible too. But it wasn't too bad.
I had to bible too. But it wasn't too bad.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Haha, I didn't. I just had to sit through Ethics lessons spent listening to fourteen year-old chavs trying to articulate why euthanasia is, like, bad.
Haha, I didn't. I just had to sit through Ethics lessons spent listening to fourteen year-old chavs trying to articulate why euthanasia is, like, bad.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Well like, it,s when youno they kill people even if the people want it it kind of bad youknow well thats what i think.
Well like, it,s when youno they kill people even if the people want it it kind of bad youknow well thats what i think.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ha! Chavs. Wiggers are so preferable.
Ha! Chavs. Wiggers are so preferable.
aelindil
+0 -0
We had neither at my school. I'm pretty sure both were grounds for expulsion. Then again, I'm pretty sure pretty much everything was grounds for expulsion there.
We had neither at my school. I'm pretty sure both were grounds for expulsion. Then again, I'm pretty sure pretty much everything was grounds for expulsion there.
rowboat
+0 -0
The moment I decided that I didn't believe in god? When my grandparents enrolled me in vacation bible school.
School. Which you attend during vacation. And this is supposed to make you want to be Christian.
The moment I decided that I didn't believe in god? When my grandparents enrolled me in vacation bible school.
School. Which you attend during vacation. And this is supposed to make you want to be Christian.
sherief
+0 -0
He was punishing you for not believing by keeping you there the whole summer.
He was punishing you for not believing by keeping you there the whole summer.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well the joke was on Him, 'cause I was stone punishin' the pud in the bathroom basically the whole time.
Well the joke was on Him, 'cause I was stone punishin' the pud in the bathroom basically the whole time.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
apparently your church didn't do the Lava Lava Island one. (that was such a fun run.)
apparently your church didn't do the Lava Lava Island one. (that was such a fun run.)
thegoblins
+0 -0
I can't do anything more than a :I right now. Also my brain is addled by chemicals. So time will tell.
I can't do anything more than a :I right now. Also my brain is addled by chemicals. So time will tell.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The :| being some kind of... half-attained expulsion of gas?
The :| being some kind of... half-attained expulsion of gas?
thegoblins
+0 -0
That's what happens when you are forced to subsist upon pudding and applesauce.
That's what happens when you are forced to subsist upon pudding and applesauce.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I got your pudding right here, doll.
(Tonight I made a coconut pudding from scratch with just a touch of curry powder in it. It's still a dessert, but it makes your mouth recall something different. Quite nice.)
I got your pudding right here, doll.
(Tonight I made a coconut pudding from scratch with just a touch of curry powder in it. It's still a dessert, but it makes your mouth recall something different. Quite nice.)
belgand
+0 -0
If you happen to have a recipe for that I suspect I would not be alone in enjoying it.
If you happen to have a recipe for that I suspect I would not be alone in enjoying it.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
I, too, run on chemistry! Big ups for my sponsors, paroxetine hydrochloride, methyltheobromide, delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, and hydroxyethane!
I, too, run on chemistry! Big ups for my sponsors, paroxetine hydrochloride, methyltheobromide, delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, and hydroxyethane!
wolfensti
+0 -0
Gotta love that chemistry
Gotta love that chemistry
tekende
+0 -0
I gave it a 4. Had the entire strip merely began the letter at the beginning, it would have gotten a 5. That letter brought me a good deal of actual laughter.
I gave it a 4. Had the entire strip merely began the letter at the beginning, it would have gotten a 5. That letter brought me a good deal of actual laughter.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
You're being generous , Tek.
*4'd*
You're being generous , Tek.
*4'd*
tekende
+0 -0
I am beyond caring about that vile, altruistic emotion. I am nearly twenty-six years old.
I am beyond caring about that vile, altruistic emotion. I am nearly twenty-six years old.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Bastard assetbar - had me fooled.
Bastard assetbar - had me fooled.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
astard Bassethound
astard Bassethound
gladi8orrex
+39 -2
i'ma take a crack at teh erotic finale.
judi undoes claudios pants and is lik "jump on me" an' cladios like "ur so hot *droool*" so anyway he sthrows off is pants an' ribs her cblouse an' shes all "ah!" an' he's like "u scurred?" an' she says " yes, i am. u scur me " an' he jus' smiled as ee foreplays teh hell outta her.(dis goes on for some time i guess) an' finaly she's like "ugh, enuff. my oven is preheat. stick loaf inside" an' claudio like "K *droooool*" anyway he jabs her in teh vag wit his meatknife over an' over an' at first she's like "ah! ah! ah! ah!" in accordance wit teh cock-jabs but din later on she's "mmmmmm *lip bite*" claudios all ridin' her like "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *DROOOOOOL* UHHHHHHHHHH" he is so annoying judith thins an' she smax him on face den claudio gets suppoer pissed an' he says "*spit* did u jus' effin' slap me? uhhhhh" judi says "yes i did" and slaps him again, infinitely harder den claudios face gets red, partly form teh slaps but mostly because he's effin' furious an' he says "dont u slap me again" *slap* judi slaps him again, she is spiteful. claudio, super pissed. rolls her over, spreads her asscheeks an' starts putting his and up her butt. judi screams "AHHHHHH! NO NO NO" she tires to roll back, to face claudio but he is stoo strong, he olds her face/neck don an' she cannit turn. he tries to fit his hand up her butt more. she is in alot of pain, his and is big an her shithole is small. "STOP STOP AHHH! STOP THAT!" he does cuz his hand was gettin' stuck. but teh hole has been sufficiently reamed for him to stick his dick in so he does. she cries "wahhh!!" he pounders her asshole very hard. jab, jab, jsb, jsb, jab-jab "ahhhhhhhh wahhh" tears now. he likes it. it's too mush 4 him he cums big time, rolls her over an' slaps her 100 times, practically punchs her sayin' each time "DO.*SLAP* NOT.*SLAP* SLAP.*SLAP* ME.*PUNCH*" "DO.*SLAP* NOT.*PUNCH* SLAP.*PUNCH* ME.*PUNCH*" ove' an ove'. she gets bloody an' claudio takes his bloody shirt off (he still had it on) an' tosses it on her.
when judi regains conscious she calls popo. claudio is apprehended at airport an' sentence 2 6 years 4 aggrevate assault. rape charge was unable to stick. when claudio gets outta prison 2.3 years later on probation he trax judi down, sneaks into her house at night. she wakes up wit a start "wh-who's there?" an he says "it's me. you're FAA-approved in-flight celery root denuder" claudio climbs into bed. teh rest is history.
i'ma take a crack at teh erotic finale.
judi undoes claudios pants and is lik "jump on me" an' cladios like "ur so hot *droool*" so anyway he sthrows off is pants an' ribs her cblouse an' shes all "ah!" an' he's like "u scurred?" an' she says " yes, i am. u scur me " an' he jus' smiled as ee foreplays teh hell outta her.(dis goes on for some time i guess) an' finaly she's like "ugh, enuff. my oven is preheat. stick loaf inside" an' claudio like "K *droooool*" anyway he jabs her in teh vag wit his meatknife over an' over an' at first she's like "ah! ah! ah! ah!" in accordance wit teh cock-jabs but din later on she's "mmmmmm *lip bite*" claudios all ridin' her like "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *DROOOOOOL* UHHHHHHHHHH" he is so annoying judith thins an' she smax him on face den claudio gets suppoer pissed an' he says "*spit* did u jus' effin' slap me? uhhhhh" judi says "yes i did" and slaps him again, infinitely harder den claudios face gets red, partly form teh slaps but mostly because he's effin' furious an' he says "dont u slap me again" *slap* judi slaps him again, she is spiteful. claudio, super pissed. rolls her over, spreads her asscheeks an' starts putting his and up her butt. judi screams "AHHHHHH! NO NO NO" she tires to roll back, to face claudio but he is stoo strong, he olds her face/neck don an' she cannit turn. he tries to fit his hand up her butt more. she is in alot of pain, his and is big an her shithole is small. "STOP STOP AHHH! STOP THAT!" he does cuz his hand was gettin' stuck. but teh hole has been sufficiently reamed for him to stick his dick in so he does. she cries "wahhh!!" he pounders her asshole very hard. jab, jab, jsb, jsb, jab-jab "ahhhhhhhh wahhh" tears now. he likes it. it's too mush 4 him he cums big time, rolls her over an' slaps her 100 times, practically punchs her sayin' each time "DO.*SLAP* NOT.*SLAP* SLAP.*SLAP* ME.*PUNCH*" "DO.*SLAP* NOT.*PUNCH* SLAP.*PUNCH* ME.*PUNCH*" ove' an ove'. she gets bloody an' claudio takes his bloody shirt off (he still had it on) an' tosses it on her.
when judi regains conscious she calls popo. claudio is apprehended at airport an' sentence 2 6 years 4 aggrevate assault. rape charge was unable to stick. when claudio gets outta prison 2.3 years later on probation he trax judi down, sneaks into her house at night. she wakes up wit a start "wh-who's there?" an he says "it's me. you're FAA-approved in-flight celery root denuder" claudio climbs into bed. teh rest is history.
gladi8orrex
+11 -1
im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry sim roory sim rorry simorry im sorry im sorry omsrorry im sorry
im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry sim roory sim rorry simorry im sorry im sorry omsrorry im sorry
all-star951
+3 -0
Holy dickens and delilah. I despise nearly everything about your "erotic finale".
Holy dickens and delilah. I despise nearly everything about your "erotic finale".
gladi8orrex
+3 -1
o emcourage onestly rewviews i chigb u a chuppy for speak ur mind
o emcourage onestly rewviews i chigb u a chuppy for speak ur mind
ike
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
alanlemagne
+1 -0
The Chupa Chups logo was designed by Salavador Dali. Trivia for the day.
The Chupa Chups logo was designed by Salavador Dali. Trivia for the day.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[disbelief]]
[[disbelief]]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Citation desired.
Citation desired.
hbaranov
+0 -1
Marketing
The Chupa Chups logo was designed in 1969 by Artist Salvador Dali. Its first marketing campaign was the logo with the slogan "És rodó i dura molt, Chupa Chups", which translates from Catalan as "It's round and long-lasting." Later, celebrities like Madonna were hired to advertise. In the 1980s, owing to falling birth rates, an anti-smoking slogan "Smoke Chupa Chups" was tried to attract further adult consumers.
A 1970s campaign for Chupa Chups in Australia used the slogan "what a sweet half hour".
Chupa Chups ran a promotion featuring the Spice Girls with their Fantasy Ball Lollipops and Crazy Dips in 1997 and 1998.
The game Zool and its sequel Zool 2, originally produced for the Amiga, featured pervasive product placement by Chupa Chups.
They once sponsored Spanish MotoGP Rider Jorge Lorenzo.
en.wikipedia.org/Chupa_Chups
Marketing
The Chupa Chups logo was designed in 1969 by Artist Salvador Dali. Its first marketing campaign was the logo with the slogan "És rodó i dura molt, Chupa Chups", which translates from Catalan as "It's round and long-lasting." Later, celebrities like Madonna were hired to advertise. In the 1980s, owing to falling birth rates, an anti-smoking slogan "Smoke Chupa Chups" was tried to attract further adult consumers.
A 1970s campaign for Chupa Chups in Australia used the slogan "what a sweet half hour".
Chupa Chups ran a promotion featuring the Spice Girls with their Fantasy Ball Lollipops and Crazy Dips in 1997 and 1998.
The game Zool and its sequel Zool 2, originally produced for the Amiga, featured pervasive product placement by Chupa Chups.
They once sponsored Spanish MotoGP Rider Jorge Lorenzo.
en.wikipedia.org/Chupa_Chups
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
wow u can access url then paste contents into other website text chat. completely amazing
wow u can access url then paste contents into other website text chat. completely amazing
united
+0 -0
gladi8orrex » neu 5 hours ago
wow u can access url then paste contents into other website text chat. completely amazing
reply :: Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames (marked as spam 0 times)
Rate this Comment: Chubby Lame Mark as Spam *Ignore User*
gladi8orrex » neu 5 hours ago
wow u can access url then paste contents into other website text chat. completely amazing
reply :: Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames (marked as spam 0 times)
Rate this Comment: Chubby Lame Mark as Spam *Ignore User*
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it would seem that when you try and copy the entire page into a comment box, it does not work.
i tried to do this to prove glad's point via united's in a ridiculous fashion.
the end.
(also, if it does work, then it means i've done it twice. i am so sorry, assetbarrio.)
it would seem that when you try and copy the entire page into a comment box, it does not work.
i tried to do this to prove glad's point via united's in a ridiculous fashion.
the end.
(also, if it does work, then it means i've done it twice. i am so sorry, assetbarrio.)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well, guess i owe some people some money.
well, guess i owe some people some money.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
I chubby for chupa
I chubby for chupa
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That pun is the only reason that post is chub-green.
That pun is the only reason that post is chub-green.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
His product placement was first-class, though.
His product placement was first-class, though.
fancypants
+0 -0
And so was his dick placement , if you catch my drift.
And so was his dick placement , if you catch my drift.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
oh fuck it, I have to say: Best Avatar Ever.
oh fuck it, I have to say: Best Avatar Ever.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
*sniff*
Cpnglxynchs, that guy with the dancing psychedelic dinosaur and I will be in our trailer.
*sniff*
Cpnglxynchs, that guy with the dancing psychedelic dinosaur and I will be in our trailer.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
A routine check reveals that not only did I indeed spell Cpnglxynchos wrong, but also that he isn't the guy with the CAT scan of his brain as an avicon. Sigh.
A routine check reveals that not only did I indeed spell Cpnglxynchos wrong, but also that he isn't the guy with the CAT scan of his brain as an avicon. Sigh.
fancypants
+0 -0
Woodenteeth, I find myself smiling whenever I see your shining avatar-face on these boards.
Cheers for the compliment, mate, if it was indeed meant for me.
Woodenteeth, I find myself smiling whenever I see your shining avatar-face on these boards.
Cheers for the compliment, mate, if it was indeed meant for me.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
The compliment was directed squarely at you.
SQUARELY!
The compliment was directed squarely at you.
SQUARELY!
techiebabe
+0 -0
Woodenteeth, are you the last bastion of the handface avataricon left?
Woodenteeth, are you the last bastion of the handface avataricon left?
octafish
+3 -0
I am hurt by this, deeply hurt.
I am hurt by this, deeply hurt.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
as am i altho in this pic my hand is not shown
as am i altho in this pic my hand is not shown
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i vote kitty nom nom for one of the best avis.
i vote kitty nom nom for one of the best avis.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Also cool Kitty Walker by gazdatronix (sp) gets a nod.
Also cool Kitty Walker by gazdatronix (sp) gets a nod.
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, I forgot about the walking kitty. Yeah. It's up there for sure.
Oh, I forgot about the walking kitty. Yeah. It's up there for sure.
fineoakstructure
+0 -2
Say what?
Fuck all this shit.
I'm tired of the internet being the cumbucket of cat lovers, and assetbar in particular. Dude has an animated picture of a cat walking and that somehow makes it great?
If this was the current strip, I'd get so many lames, because you can't say shit about cats on here without getting lamed.
Fuck that shit.
Say what?
Fuck all this shit.
I'm tired of the internet being the cumbucket of cat lovers, and assetbar in particular. Dude has an animated picture of a cat walking and that somehow makes it great?
If this was the current strip, I'd get so many lames, because you can't say shit about cats on here without getting lamed.
Fuck that shit.
rowboat
+1 -0
Well, what's your favorite?
Well, what's your favorite?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I agree, what's so special about that avatar? Rowboat, yours itself is better in my opinion, and *snort* it's not even animated.
I agree, what's so special about that avatar? Rowboat, yours itself is better in my opinion, and *snort* it's not even animated.
rowboat
+0 -0
B...but...it's a kitten. Walking. What more reason do I need?
Look, I realize that there is a fundamental divide between folks who go all wobbly-kneed for cats and those who couldn't give a fuck. I also understand that males of my gender very often fall into the latter camp. But I'd be a dirty fucking liar if I said I wasn't a kitten man through and through.
B...but...it's a kitten. Walking. What more reason do I need?
Look, I realize that there is a fundamental divide between folks who go all wobbly-kneed for cats and those who couldn't give a fuck. I also understand that males of my gender very often fall into the latter camp. But I'd be a dirty fucking liar if I said I wasn't a kitten man through and through.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Is your husband a kitten-man too?
Is your husband a kitten-man too?
rowboat
+0 -0
My husband is a kitten, man.
My husband is a kitten, man.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
done.
[IMGS OFF]
done.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'll allow it. That is one of only a handful of strips from that comic that will receive such mercy from me.
I'll allow it. That is one of only a handful of strips from that comic that will receive such mercy from me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I own only dogs. One dog at a time. I'm a dog person. That's that.
But that cat is just cool jazz and city catness, and that's that. No way can my dog walk the cooljerk like that. Which is fine too.
I own only dogs. One dog at a time. I'm a dog person. That's that.
But that cat is just cool jazz and city catness, and that's that. No way can my dog walk the cooljerk like that. Which is fine too.
rowboat
+0 -0
It really does come down to city and country. When I lived in the country I had dogs. I live in the city now. Cats work better for that.
It really does come down to city and country. When I lived in the country I had dogs. I live in the city now. Cats work better for that.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Dude, I'm a cat person. I'm just not a person who considers everything related to cats to be innately amusing or clever
Dude, I'm a cat person. I'm just not a person who considers everything related to cats to be innately amusing or clever
rowboat
+0 -0
Why do you hate cats?
Why do you hate cats?
fineoakstructure
+0 -1
cats r fagots
cats r fagots
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
trap teh kitteh?
trap teh kitteh?
all-star951
+0 -0
Have you actually completed it? I am so stressed now. I JUST WANT THAT DANG KITTY TO STAY IN THE BOX
Have you actually completed it? I am so stressed now. I JUST WANT THAT DANG KITTY TO STAY IN THE BOX
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
I probably trap it about half the time. I should be doing better, but I forget obvious outs. It's a cool game.
p.s. (If this game stresses you that much, you probably shouldn't be playing)
p.p.s. ( It's not a real kitty)
I probably trap it about half the time. I should be doing better, but I forget obvious outs. It's a cool game.
p.s. (If this game stresses you that much, you probably shouldn't be playing)
p.p.s. ( It's not a real kitty)
belgand
+3 -0
Indeed. I have nothing, but respect for both you, I Love Kate, and FancyPants, but the top avatars are most certainly:
Riku224
[IMGS OFF]
awksedperl
[IMGS OFF]
and, of course, fattybeaver
[IMGS OFF]
If any of them now change their avatars I'll look like quite the fool as I'm far too lazy to save them, reupload them someplace safe, and then link those, but for now... behold!
Indeed. I have nothing, but respect for both you, I Love Kate, and FancyPants, but the top avatars are most certainly:
Riku224
[IMGS OFF]
awksedperl
[IMGS OFF]
and, of course, fattybeaver
[IMGS OFF]
If any of them now change their avatars I'll look like quite the fool as I'm far too lazy to save them, reupload them someplace safe, and then link those, but for now... behold!
fancypants
+0 -0
Verily, these are indisputably the coolest.
Although I am afraid to go on assetbar when at work because of the off-chance that whilst reading a comment by fattybeaver someone comes to see me.
"Hey what's going on dude?"
"NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING," says I as I punch the LCD screen square in the bouncing tits.
Verily, these are indisputably the coolest.
Although I am afraid to go on assetbar when at work because of the off-chance that whilst reading a comment by fattybeaver someone comes to see me.
"Hey what's going on dude?"
"NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING," says I as I punch the LCD screen square in the bouncing tits.
miku224
+1 -0
I actually just returned to assetbar last night, after about a year or so. I'm so glad that my avatar has been remembered.
I actually just returned to assetbar last night, after about a year or so. I'm so glad that my avatar has been remembered.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I...I wanna make friends with that dinosaur :(
I...I wanna make friends with that dinosaur :(
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I see that dinosaur every time I close my eyes
I see that dinosaur every time I close my eyes
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I think we all know who wins this contest.
I think we all know who wins this contest.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i saved the dinosaur for my own private use. if you know what i mean....
i saved the dinosaur for my own private use. if you know what i mean....
rowboat
+0 -0
The only real competition for me has always been between techiebabe and fattybeaver. It just depends on what kind of day I'm having which obviously has everything to do with how recently I've cummed.
The only real competition for me has always been between techiebabe and fattybeaver. It just depends on what kind of day I'm having which obviously has everything to do with how recently I've cummed.
fattybeaver
+0 -0
I'm just surprised no one has called me out for my name being fattybeaver but my avatar is of tits.
I'm just surprised no one has called me out for my name being fattybeaver but my avatar is of tits.
rowboat
+0 -0
Because of your avatar, your name means nothing.
Nothing means anything when placed against your avatar.
Because of your avatar, your name means nothing.
Nothing means anything when placed against your avatar.
mattylite
+0 -1
I'd like to place something against that avatar. If you know what I mean.*
* I mean my penis.
I'd like to place something against that avatar. If you know what I mean.*
* I mean my penis.
octafish
+0 -0
Perhaps you should join the discussion further down the page?
Perhaps you should join the discussion further down the page?
hedonismbot
+3 -0
I WOULD LIKE TO PLACE HIS PENIS ON THE AVATAR AS HIS FATHER!
I WOULD LIKE TO PLACE HIS PENIS ON THE AVATAR AS HIS FATHER!
belgand
+0 -0
That has actually often been an issue of consternation for me. I just never was able to properly express it when confronted with.....
That has actually often been an issue of consternation for me. I just never was able to properly express it when confronted with.....
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
nope. i'm back to my oldie but goodie.
screw all y'all.
nope. i'm back to my oldie but goodie.
screw all y'all.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm glad. I never got used to anything else you trotted out. Stick with it.
I'm glad. I never got used to anything else you trotted out. Stick with it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
aww, not even Todd's Statue of Liberty f-f-f-fantasy?? no, this is the best one ever. i should get to work on improving sje's someday. (i will probably never do this.)
aww, not even Todd's Statue of Liberty f-f-f-fantasy?? no, this is the best one ever. i should get to work on improving sje's someday. (i will probably never do this.)
rowboat
+0 -0
I think I may not specifically remember the Todd one.
I think I may not specifically remember the Todd one.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
There will always be love for a good Pineapple Fry.
There will always be love for a good Pineapple Fry.
belgand
+0 -0
I think there is a strong possibility of making that into a rather pleasing drink. We will need to give it a password though.
I think there is a strong possibility of making that into a rather pleasing drink. We will need to give it a password though.
mirabeau4
+0 -0
Comment left by mirabeau4 ignored.
Comment left by mirabeau4 ignored.
usversusthem
+0 -0
"infinitely harder"
This, people, is poetry.
"infinitely harder"
This, people, is poetry.
wolfensti
+0 -0
I read your comment before gladdi's, and well knowing him i tought it was about something else
I read your comment before gladdi's, and well knowing him i tought it was about something else
punkmonkey
+4 -0
Dear Gladi:
You have filled a gap in my life once held by the late Coca-Cola Blak. I find everything about your posts absolutely vile. Yet I find myself reading your posts time after time.
You magnificent bastard.
Dear Gladi:
You have filled a gap in my life once held by the late Coca-Cola Blak. I find everything about your posts absolutely vile. Yet I find myself reading your posts time after time.
You magnificent bastard.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
You Magnificent Bastard: The Intimate Saga of Gladi8orrex
You Magnificent Bastard: The Intimate Saga of Gladi8orrex
nice-on-water
+1 -0
It seems of late this term (as far as I know, originally from "Patton") has slowly crept into the Assetbar vernacular and I'm forever grateful that it has.
It seems of late this term (as far as I know, originally from "Patton") has slowly crept into the Assetbar vernacular and I'm forever grateful that it has.
thing
+1 -0
You repeatedly drank Cola-Cola Blak?
You repeatedly drank Cola-Cola Blak?
punkmonkey
+0 -0
Furiously.
Furiously.
audhumla
+0 -0
so good
so good
fermatprime
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
gladi8orrex, you have touched me in places I didn't know I had.
Quote:
"ugh, enuff. my oven is preheat. stick loaf inside" an' claudio like "K"
Quote:
when judi regains conscious she calls popo. claudio is apprehended at airport an' sentence 2 6 years 4 aggrevate assault. rape charge was unable to stick. when claudio gets outta prison 2.3 years later on probation he trax judi down, sneaks into her house at night. she wakes up wit a start "wh-who's there?" an he says "it's me. you're FAA-approved in-flight celery root denuder" claudio climbs into bed. teh rest is history.
gladi8orrex, you have touched me in places I didn't know I had.
aelindil
+5 -1
Can you show us on the doll, fermatprime?
Can you show us on the doll, fermatprime?
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I remember that pornographic magazines used to have a reader's letters section, which purported to document the sexual shenanigans of the readership. All well and good. However, looking back I wonder if these stories were written in house, or did readers choose to write blue fiction, and send it in to the publication (I think even in my early teens I was pretty certain these stories did not describe real sexual events). Does anyone know? I hope its the latter, because that's pretty hilarious. Should somone submit Gladi's oeuvre to Razzle? He might turn out to be the Adolf Wolfli of badly spelled erotic fiction.
I remember that pornographic magazines used to have a reader's letters section, which purported to document the sexual shenanigans of the readership. All well and good. However, looking back I wonder if these stories were written in house, or did readers choose to write blue fiction, and send it in to the publication (I think even in my early teens I was pretty certain these stories did not describe real sexual events). Does anyone know? I hope its the latter, because that's pretty hilarious. Should somone submit Gladi's oeuvre to Razzle? He might turn out to be the Adolf Wolfli of badly spelled erotic fiction.
belgand
+0 -0
I recall reading about at least one person who was employed to write them. I suspect that they would take reader letters, if only to avoid the work, but ran their own creations if they found it necessary.
I recall reading about at least one person who was employed to write them. I suspect that they would take reader letters, if only to avoid the work, but ran their own creations if they found it necessary.
mattylite
+4 -0
A typical cover letter on a resume for that position would start "Dear sir or madam, I never thought I'd be writing a letter like this ..."
A typical cover letter on a resume for that position would start "Dear sir or madam, I never thought I'd be writing a letter like this ..."
belgand
+0 -0
You've almost succeeded in tempting me to start writing my own resume cover letters in that fashion to stand out and generate interest. I likely won't, but now I'll end up wondering what could have been....
You've almost succeeded in tempting me to start writing my own resume cover letters in that fashion to stand out and generate interest. I likely won't, but now I'll end up wondering what could have been....
tekende
+0 -0
That might actually be a good idea. You should try it on, say, five resume submissions and see if anything happens.
That might actually be a good idea. You should try it on, say, five resume submissions and see if anything happens.
belgand
+0 -0
I find it is usually a poor idea to assume that people have a sense of humour.
I find it is usually a poor idea to assume that people have a sense of humour.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Begland looks in the mirror.
Begland looks in the mirror.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I'm guessing the Ransom Letter style resume didn't get you any bites?
I'm guessing the Ransom Letter style resume didn't get you any bites?
stereo
+3 -0
OffER me thiS JOb or The bog GETSit
OffER me thiS JOb or The bog GETSit
mattylite
+0 -0
yOU dOn'T THink I'D dO IT?! I doN' GIv a Fuk! I HaTE boGS!!!
yOU dOn'T THink I'D dO IT?! I doN' GIv a Fuk! I HaTE boGS!!!
hbaranov
+0 -0
HaND OvEr THe CooKiES Or I KiLL YoUR MuM!
HaND OvEr THe CooKiES Or I KiLL YoUR MuM!
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Dear Sir,
I never thought I would be writing a letter like this, but ever since I saw your Monster post I have not been able to think of anything else.
Dear Sir,
I never thought I would be writing a letter like this, but ever since I saw your Monster post I have not been able to think of anything else.
octafish
+0 -0
You cannot pay anyone enough to sub Gladdi.
You cannot pay anyone enough to sub Gladdi.
sherief
+0 -0
With copy like that he could probably even turn out to be the Adolf Hitler of badly spelled erotic fiction.
With copy like that he could probably even turn out to be the Adolf Hitler of badly spelled erotic fiction.
joestork
+0 -0
Good god, sir, are you questioning the veracity of the letters sections in titty mags?
This cannot stand!
Good god, sir, are you questioning the veracity of the letters sections in titty mags?
This cannot stand!
tekende
+0 -0
This is...this is exactly right. Everything about this story is perfect.
Also: is this the most chubbied gladi8orrex post? I think it may be.
This is...this is exactly right. Everything about this story is perfect.
Also: is this the most chubbied gladi8orrex post? I think it may be.
rowboat
+0 -0
Is this the first time I've ever given him one? Maybe.
Is this the first time I've ever given him one? Maybe.
joestork
+0 -0
Gladi8orrex, once again you are funnier than the strip.
That was just... awful.
Gladi8orrex, once again you are funnier than the strip.
That was just... awful.
verplanck
+1 -0
wait a minute. Connie writes in that a woman is drinking a white out of a stemless glass? Either it's a clever demonstration of her uncouth habits, or Mr. Onstad forgot rule 2 of wine.
wait a minute. Connie writes in that a woman is drinking a white out of a stemless glass? Either it's a clever demonstration of her uncouth habits, or Mr. Onstad forgot rule 2 of wine.
austinceltic
+0 -0
Stemless wine glasses are totally a thing!
Stemless wine glasses are totally a thing!
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I take my wine in a bowl, as Herodotus instructed me.
I take my wine in a bowl, as Herodotus instructed me.
wozzeck
+3 -0
Mixed diligently with water, to prevent madness. No one wants another Cleomenes the First on their hands...
Mixed diligently with water, to prevent madness. No one wants another Cleomenes the First on their hands...
history
+0 -0
You...I...you pulled an reference dealing with insanity and Herodotus out of your head in (according to assetbar) under 21 minutes? I was dubious, and with good reason, but I will not defame you further, because I feel good historical references add to conversation regardless of their source.
You...I...you pulled an reference dealing with insanity and Herodotus out of your head in (according to assetbar) under 21 minutes? I was dubious, and with good reason, but I will not defame you further, because I feel good historical references add to conversation regardless of their source.
wozzeck
+3 -0
Did you see the mess he made? Some even got on the Ephors!
Did you see the mess he made? Some even got on the Ephors!
smilebuddha
+3 -0
All drunk and licking the lictors. All usin' extispicy and finding seven hearts, three livers, and no colons in the nearest pigeon.
All drunk and licking the lictors. All usin' extispicy and finding seven hearts, three livers, and no colons in the nearest pigeon.
wozzeck
+0 -0
This deserved more chubbies. A pox upon the crypto-Marxist infiltration of our educational system. A pox!
This deserved more chubbies. A pox upon the crypto-Marxist infiltration of our educational system. A pox!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Interestingly enough (for a given value of interesting) one of the ritual humiliations that the Spartans, and the Ephors in particular, imposed on the Helots was forcing them to drink unwatered wine.
Interestingly enough (for a given value of interesting) one of the ritual humiliations that the Spartans, and the Ephors in particular, imposed on the Helots was forcing them to drink unwatered wine.
sherief
+0 -0
DOG SKIN CAPS
DOG SKIN CAPS
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I like my wine searing hot, right up the rectum
I like my wine searing hot, right up the rectum
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What are you, a tapeworm?
What are you, a tapeworm?
wolfensti
+0 -0
I say a tapeworm would find that disturbing.
I say a tapeworm would find that disturbing.
thegoblins
+0 -0
A dude with a tapeworm?
A dude with a tapeworm?
punkmonkey
+0 -0
With regards to Onstad's love all things food related, I highly doubt it was a mistake.
With regards to Onstad's love all things food related, I highly doubt it was a mistake.
tetsujin
+1 -0
Stemless White Wine Glass ...
Stemless White Wine Glass ...
tetsujin
+0 -0
Or there's this one , actually made by riedel...
Or there's this one , actually made by riedel...
srikamaraja
+1 -0
So... stemless wineglass... this is a cup?
So... stemless wineglass... this is a cup?
tetsujin
+0 -0
Yeah, pretty much. I don't know, maybe there's more to it than that.
Yeah, pretty much. I don't know, maybe there's more to it than that.
belgand
+2 -0
Apparently Reidel were some of the first people to bring them to market in the US in a widespread manner and they were immediately very popular.
Technically it is a tumbler, not a cup.
Apparently Reidel were some of the first people to bring them to market in the US in a widespread manner and they were immediately very popular.
Technically it is a tumbler, not a cup.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that I bloody love stemless wineglasses. In wine snob terms wine from the fridge is too cold anyway, and the amount of heat you will transfer to it from your hand will be more beneficial than otherwise, but more importantly, I am very prone to dropping wineglasses when I try to hold them by the stem, and that's not classy whichever way you slice it.
I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that I bloody love stemless wineglasses. In wine snob terms wine from the fridge is too cold anyway, and the amount of heat you will transfer to it from your hand will be more beneficial than otherwise, but more importantly, I am very prone to dropping wineglasses when I try to hold them by the stem, and that's not classy whichever way you slice it.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
It is if you do it out of righteous indignation with a huffy "I say!" after a young hellion flips you "the bird".
It is if you do it out of righteous indignation with a huffy "I say!" after a young hellion flips you "the bird".
belgand
+0 -0
Quite well-stated my good sir. A properly worn monocle does not jolt out of the ocular orbit nearly as well as the commoners would have you think and is far more inclined to stay in place and make you look quite a fool.
Quite well-stated my good sir. A properly worn monocle does not jolt out of the ocular orbit nearly as well as the commoners would have you think and is far more inclined to stay in place and make you look quite a fool.
tekende
+0 -0
This comment is funnier than the comic, which was in itself pretty amusing. Good job, i_love_kate.
This comment is funnier than the comic, which was in itself pretty amusing. Good job, i_love_kate.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Don't forget to widen your eyes so that you monocle drops.
Don't forget to widen your eyes so that you monocle drops.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
OH YOU MONOCLE YOU
OH YOU MONOCLE YOU
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I shouldn't technically, but I can't help it.
Monocles, what news from the north?
I shouldn't technically, but I can't help it.
Monocles, what news from the north?
fineoakstructure
+4 -0
Tool sucks, that's the news from the fucking north.
Tool sucks, that's the news from the fucking north.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Ah, to be elderly again...
Ah, to be elderly again...
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Nothing says young and hip like a band that first got popular in the mid 90's
Nothing says young and hip like a band that first got popular in the mid 90's
rowboat
+0 -0
I liked Tool when Undertow first dropped but I was relatively young and would like to be forgiven, thanks.
I liked Tool when Undertow first dropped but I was relatively young and would like to be forgiven, thanks.
rowboat
+0 -0
One of the reasons I clinged to Tool at the time was because they were one of the only redeeming experiences I took away from the surprisingly lackluster 1993 Lollapalooza tour (one of only two - along with the much better 1994 tour - that I ever attended).
[I just looked at '93's line-up in order to double-check the year and I can't fucking believe that I missed Mercury Rev, though I probably wasn't ready for it yet so it doesn't really matter.]
One of the reasons I clinged to Tool at the time was because they were one of the only redeeming experiences I took away from the surprisingly lackluster 1993 Lollapalooza tour (one of only two - along with the much better 1994 tour - that I ever attended).
[I just looked at '93's line-up in order to double-check the year and I can't fucking believe that I missed Mercury Rev, though I probably wasn't ready for it yet so it doesn't really matter.]
rowboat
+0 -1
[And looking back at the '94 line-up I can't fucking believe that I missed Palace Songs and Lambchop but now I'm just rambling and fuck you anyway.]
[And looking back at the '94 line-up I can't fucking believe that I missed Palace Songs and Lambchop but now I'm just rambling and fuck you anyway.]
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I've recently been listening to some old Palace mp3s from 94 (from a show in Austria), oddly enough.
It's kind of weird, actually, because I probably downloaded these mp3s almost 10 years ago, and I'm only now really listening to them.
I guess that was How I Quit Smoking era Lambchop, right? That would've been good. Aw Lambchop, still a top contender for my favorite band.
I've recently been listening to some old Palace mp3s from 94 (from a show in Austria), oddly enough.
It's kind of weird, actually, because I probably downloaded these mp3s almost 10 years ago, and I'm only now really listening to them.
I guess that was How I Quit Smoking era Lambchop, right? That would've been good. Aw Lambchop, still a top contender for my favorite band.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Dear Dr. Opinions,
I still listen to Tool on the occasion and find it pretty fun and interesting. Am I bad person?
Notsosincerely,
Woodenteeth.
Dear Dr. Opinions,
I still listen to Tool on the occasion and find it pretty fun and interesting. Am I bad person?
Notsosincerely,
Woodenteeth.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
C'mon woodenteeth, you know that every once in a while I summarily dismiss a band I personally don't like even though a lot of other people probably do.
We TALKED about this!
C'mon woodenteeth, you know that every once in a while I summarily dismiss a band I personally don't like even though a lot of other people probably do.
We TALKED about this!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
The reply was to Rowboat, Professor Opinions.
The reply was to Rowboat, Professor Opinions.
rowboat
+0 -0
They kicked ass live and I bet I'd still like some of those creepy old stop motion videos of theirs. Oh, and the end of Undertow with that weird sermon thing about the carrots or whatever. I remember liking that, too.
But no, their actual music hasn't done anything for me in fifteen years. It's not bad. It's just not my jam.
But to answer your question, you are definitely a bad - nay, a terrible - person. The fact that you listen to Tool in neither here nor there.
They kicked ass live and I bet I'd still like some of those creepy old stop motion videos of theirs. Oh, and the end of Undertow with that weird sermon thing about the carrots or whatever. I remember liking that, too.
But no, their actual music hasn't done anything for me in fifteen years. It's not bad. It's just not my jam.
But to answer your question, you are definitely a bad - nay, a terrible - person. The fact that you listen to Tool in neither here nor there.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
That's a relief.
I'm going to go drown a kitten... a walking kitten!
That's a relief.
I'm going to go drown a kitten... a walking kitten!
rowboat
+0 -0
One of these days that kitten is gonna walk all over you.
One of these days that kitten is gonna walk all over you.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Explains why I listen to Nirvana, Danzig and Alice in Chains... though two of those are 80's. Fuck.
Explains why I listen to Nirvana, Danzig and Alice in Chains... though two of those are 80's. Fuck.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i was born in '82, so i didnt care about anything abut he-man and the carebears for the rest of the decade..... i didnt discover danzig until several years ago.
i was born in '82, so i didnt care about anything abut he-man and the carebears for the rest of the decade..... i didnt discover danzig until several years ago.
aelindil
+0 -0
You have summed up Bertie Wooster's Aunt Agatha.
You have summed up Bertie Wooster's Aunt Agatha.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Quote:
Perhaps you should try....
[IMGS OFF]
Quote:
but more importantly, I am very prone to dropping wineglasses when I try to hold them by the stem, and that's not classy whichever way you slice it.
Perhaps you should try....
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+2 -0
Someone gave my friends' baby a talking Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. It says disturbing things in a plaintive voice. "Oh, I'm ever so sleepy. I'm going to take a nap. Would you like to join me? Naps are ever so much better when you have someone to cuddle with." When it wakes up, it says "What a nice nap. I dreamed about you!"
I wouldn't want my child to think that Winnie the Pooh was in love with him.
Someone gave my friends' baby a talking Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. It says disturbing things in a plaintive voice. "Oh, I'm ever so sleepy. I'm going to take a nap. Would you like to join me? Naps are ever so much better when you have someone to cuddle with." When it wakes up, it says "What a nice nap. I dreamed about you!"
I wouldn't want my child to think that Winnie the Pooh was in love with him.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
If you grew up with the A.A. Milne books then the Disney version of Winnie-the-Pooh is always pretty disturbing. You expect the character you loved in childhood, and at first it looks like him, but something's wrong. He's a depressing puppet of the bear that you knew. He's dead behind the eyes. And the decision to give him a creepy, old-man voice just made things more unsettling.
If you grew up with the A.A. Milne books then the Disney version of Winnie-the-Pooh is always pretty disturbing. You expect the character you loved in childhood, and at first it looks like him, but something's wrong. He's a depressing puppet of the bear that you knew. He's dead behind the eyes. And the decision to give him a creepy, old-man voice just made things more unsettling.
aelindil
+0 -0
The change of Eeyore's character was the worst to me. He went from a total misanthrope to a Prozac poster child.
The change of Eeyore's character was the worst to me. He went from a total misanthrope to a Prozac poster child.
thegoblins
+0 -0
In the book, Eeyore knew that very few people were his friends and that the world was a hostile, unfriendly place.
In the book, Eeyore knew that very few people were his friends and that the world was a hostile, unfriendly place.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Eeyore was depressive, Tigger was manic. Pooh had an all-consuming addiction, and the little pig had no self-esteem.
What a fucked up lot.
Eeyore was depressive, Tigger was manic. Pooh had an all-consuming addiction, and the little pig had no self-esteem.
What a fucked up lot.
belgand
+0 -0
Eh, they're British, what does one expect?
Eh, they're British, what does one expect?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Come to think of it, so are the Who.
A connection?
Come to think of it, so are the Who.
A connection?
octafish
+0 -0
I remember my sisters having a talking book of The House on Pooh Corner (Best house in the shittiest neighbourhood). In it Tigger had a Hindi accent, I always thought Disney totally missed the boat not catching on to this.
I remember my sisters having a talking book of The House on Pooh Corner (Best house in the shittiest neighbourhood). In it Tigger had a Hindi accent, I always thought Disney totally missed the boat not catching on to this.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
The most wonderful thing about Tiggers is Main akela ek huum!
The most wonderful thing about Tiggers is Main akela ek huum!
drskradley
+0 -0
I guess that'd make sense, given when Milne was around, and where tigers are most famously from.
Better than him having a Siberian accent.
I guess that'd make sense, given when Milne was around, and where tigers are most famously from.
Better than him having a Siberian accent.
thegoblins
+1 -0
A nice Inidan boy bouncing around and fucking shit up? His parents would never allow it.
A nice Inidan boy bouncing around and fucking shit up? His parents would never allow it.
ike
+2 -0
Have you ever seen Russia's version? %u0412%u0438%u043D%u043D%u0438-%u041F%u0443%u0445 ">
Have you ever seen Russia's version? %u0412%u0438%u043D%u043D%u0438-%u041F%u0443%u0445 ">
ike
+0 -0
fuck bbcode. link still works.
fuck bbcode. link still works.
drskradley
+0 -0
I just watched that over and over again and the little song he sings is now stuck in my head.
I just watched that over and over again and the little song he sings is now stuck in my head.
rumblefish
+1 -0
I would force my kid to watch a show about an angry bear stomping through the forest yelling at nature.
I would force my kid to watch a show about an angry bear stomping through the forest yelling at nature.
tetsujin
+0 -0
Ever seen the Yogi Bear shorts done by Spumco?
Ever seen the Yogi Bear shorts done by Spumco?
mattylite
+0 -0
Oh wow. That is freakin' beautiful.
Oh wow. That is freakin' beautiful.
thegoblins
+0 -0
When I was about three, my parents bought a lot of old books from the USSR for me. The art and the sensibility of this cartoon reminds me a bit of those picture books, except that most of them were rather dreary.
When I was about three, my parents bought a lot of old books from the USSR for me. The art and the sensibility of this cartoon reminds me a bit of those picture books, except that most of them were rather dreary.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Speaking of Russian cartoons (more or less, I just wanted an excuse to spread the word), anyone so unfortunate as to have never known cheburashka needs to experience the adorable now
Speaking of Russian cartoons (more or less, I just wanted an excuse to spread the word), anyone so unfortunate as to have never known cheburashka needs to experience the adorable now
avatar
+0 -0
that's friggin awesome! I do keep having dirty thoughts about the monkey however. can't help it. Maybe my therapist can help with that this Friday.
that's friggin awesome! I do keep having dirty thoughts about the monkey however. can't help it. Maybe my therapist can help with that this Friday.
belgand
+0 -0
I have rarely seen something more thoroughly depressed than a Russian Eeyore.
I have rarely seen something more thoroughly depressed than a Russian Eeyore.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
thegoblins, when we have a kid, that kid will never be close to anything Pooh. Our two-headed love baby will watch Scooby Doo in Senegalese and dress only in discarded Skittles wrappers.
thegoblins, when we have a kid, that kid will never be close to anything Pooh. Our two-headed love baby will watch Scooby Doo in Senegalese and dress only in discarded Skittles wrappers.
octafish
+0 -0
Wait thegoblins is Debbie Gibson? A... and hedonismbot is Mojo Nixon? Welllllll, that kinda makes sense.
Wait thegoblins is Debbie Gibson? A... and hedonismbot is Mojo Nixon? Welllllll, that kinda makes sense.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i still consider it a glass.
cups are plastic.
i still consider it a glass.
cups are plastic.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, I had the same thing pass through my mind grapes as well. I was assuming that it was the former and this was Cornelius' attempt to demonstrate that while she wishes to appear sophisticated she is completely ignorant of fine food. She would purchase ice molds shaped like chardonnay designed by Karl Lagerfeld ($46; $227 with diamond accents, see page 27) specifically to put in her Montrachet if you made it look like it was the classy thing to do.
The average Williams-Sonoma customer is thus perfectly depicted.
Yeah, I had the same thing pass through my mind grapes as well. I was assuming that it was the former and this was Cornelius' attempt to demonstrate that while she wishes to appear sophisticated she is completely ignorant of fine food. She would purchase ice molds shaped like chardonnay designed by Karl Lagerfeld ($46; $227 with diamond accents, see page 27) specifically to put in her Montrachet if you made it look like it was the classy thing to do.
The average Williams-Sonoma customer is thus perfectly depicted.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Chuck is tired of all the bullshit.
Chuck is tired of all the bullshit.
cromar
+0 -0
When I truly love Achewood is when it truly makes fun of yuppies. So sue me!
When I truly love Achewood is when it truly makes fun of yuppies. So sue me!
tetsujin
+0 -0
It does seem like a pretty good premise. I think the comic from the day before yeaterday was not very funny (I don't think the Williams-Sonoma merchandise was worked into the story too well... I expect better from Mr. Bear) but today's seems a bit more promising.
It does seem like a pretty good premise. I think the comic from the day before yeaterday was not very funny (I don't think the Williams-Sonoma merchandise was worked into the story too well... I expect better from Mr. Bear) but today's seems a bit more promising.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
ray's condemnation of connie's climax to the previous story = lol.
well, let me be the first* to say that i'd like to read the climax of the story as well**.
*didn't read anyone eleses comments, so maybe this was already said.
**but not for $100 ;)
ray's condemnation of connie's climax to the previous story = lol.
well, let me be the first* to say that i'd like to read the climax of the story as well**.
*didn't read anyone eleses comments, so maybe this was already said.
**but not for $100 ;)
redguy
+0 -0
I've been waiting basically forever for someone to send up the Williams-Sonoma catalog demographic. This could be the Achewood movie.
I've been waiting basically forever for someone to send up the Williams-Sonoma catalog demographic. This could be the Achewood movie.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Dear Lord, let's hope it's a bit more Achewoodian than that. Though something like a film version of the GOF would be a bit bland for regular viewers, on the other hand. I don't know. Hard to say.
Dear Lord, let's hope it's a bit more Achewoodian than that. Though something like a film version of the GOF would be a bit bland for regular viewers, on the other hand. I don't know. Hard to say.
aelindil
+0 -0
Have you ever seen the blog Stuff White People Like?
Perhaps you should.
Have you ever seen the blog Stuff White People Like?
Perhaps you should.
neonfreon
+0 -0
do you think the rest of ray's body is drawn somewhere and just cut off at the waste in these panels?
does onstad have a consistent strategy for deciding when to display ray's bulge and when to hide it?
do you think the rest of ray's body is drawn somewhere and just cut off at the waste in these panels?
does onstad have a consistent strategy for deciding when to display ray's bulge and when to hide it?
tetsujin
+0 -0
I think Ray's body is drawn all sorts of places, depending on his mood. It didn't seem to me that there was much waste in the panels, however.
I think Ray's body is drawn all sorts of places, depending on his mood. It didn't seem to me that there was much waste in the panels, however.
neonfreon
+0 -0
you cant see the bulge
you cant see the bulge
catgrl131
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
There. Happy?
[IMGS OFF]
There. Happy?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
A Pox 'pon nouveau riche Americana.
A Pox 'pon nouveau riche Americana.
fermatprime
+0 -0
He's 93. That's not that close to 100.
He's 93. That's not that close to 100.
drskradley
+0 -0
Closer than you are, I bet. At that age, 7 years means nothing.
Closer than you are, I bet. At that age, 7 years means nothing.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
At that age, you're statistically long-tail, so just waking up in the morning spells SUCCESS, followed by yet another day chock-full of pain.
At that age, you're statistically long-tail, so just waking up in the morning spells SUCCESS, followed by yet another day chock-full of pain.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Your new avatar fills me with indescribable dread. I've watched it loop fifteen times now and I'm still waiting for that shower curtain to part...
Your new avatar fills me with indescribable dread. I've watched it loop fifteen times now and I'm still waiting for that shower curtain to part...
stereo
+1 -0
Made creepier by listening to it with Tool (Wings part 2)
Made creepier by listening to it with Tool (Wings part 2)
narenial
+0 -0
Chubbied for a great song. And definitely the better half.
Chubbied for a great song. And definitely the better half.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Mmmmm. You and I and stereo and my cat should get together sometime. We can listen to these 'tools'.
(This is my creepy way of saying you have good taste, and I happened to be listening to a different song from the same album)
Mmmmm. You and I and stereo and my cat should get together sometime. We can listen to these 'tools'.
(This is my creepy way of saying you have good taste, and I happened to be listening to a different song from the same album)
narenial
+0 -0
Any Opeth in your library, sir? Just wondering.
Any Opeth in your library, sir? Just wondering.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Just for you, I will sing aloud to The Grand Conjuration wearing only socks, even as I type this
Just for you, I will sing aloud to The Grand Conjuration wearing only socks, even as I type this
narenial
+0 -0
I heartily approve.
I heartily approve.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Your new avatar gives me the horn! Meh heh heh.
Your new avatar gives me the horn! Meh heh heh.
belgand
+0 -0
But you are a lady! How can you be made a cuckold?
But you are a lady! How can you be made a cuckold?
narenial
+0 -0
It is entirely possible, only on a much more minute level.
It is entirely possible, only on a much more minute level.
thegoblins
+0 -0
The horn is only a few centimeters in diameter. Also, "giving the horn" has a rather different meaning than I thought it did.
The horn is only a few centimeters in diameter. Also, "giving the horn" has a rather different meaning than I thought it did.
united
+0 -0
speaking of avatars did you recently change yours, goblins? It seems like the same picture only less fuzzy or something.
speaking of avatars did you recently change yours, goblins? It seems like the same picture only less fuzzy or something.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's a different picture in which, apparently, I look less fearsome.
It's a different picture in which, apparently, I look less fearsome.
fermatprime
+0 -0
He's 93. That's not that close to 100.
He's 93. That's not that close to 100.
fermatprime
+0 -0
What's this? The sound of me double-posting for no apparent reason? The sound of Assetbar sucking.
What's this? The sound of me double-posting for no apparent reason? The sound of Assetbar sucking.
daidai
+0 -0
The sound of an Edit Button, not existing.
The sound of an Edit Button, not existing.
crom
+0 -0
I never pegged Ray as a fan of erotic fiction or foreplay.
I never pegged Ray as a fan of erotic fiction or foreplay.
paperboy_2000
+6 -0
As a fan of erotic fiction, or foreplay, I never pegged Ray.
As a fan of erotic fiction, or foreplay, I never pegged Ray.
blacksheepboy
+0 -0
Well, foreplay for Ray usually involves mixing flour, eggs, sugar, etc.
Well, foreplay for Ray usually involves mixing flour, eggs, sugar, etc.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I thought it usually involved ordering specially made cakes. He ain't working his ass off to get his rocks off.
I thought it usually involved ordering specially made cakes. He ain't working his ass off to get his rocks off.
nekkidcinema
+0 -0
Soooo goood!
Soooo goood!
fermatprime
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you stole my schtick!!
you stole my schtick!!
lynnym
+0 -0
Holy shit, this was the first hilarious Achewood I've read in awhile.
Look at Ray whistle! Look at him!
Five. For things.
Holy shit, this was the first hilarious Achewood I've read in awhile.
Look at Ray whistle! Look at him!
Five. For things.
daidai
+1 -0
This is also the first bit of Cornelius' writing I've genuinely liked.
I know women who would buy this bowl if they read that -- the allure of so easily climbing in status and worldliness is too much for many upper middle-class women. Throw in foreign looking "pool boys who can cook" and those broads are buying them in bulk and slyly stealing their friends' copies of Williams-Sonoma from countertops during the bi-weekly wineglass-parties. After all, if everybody takes a step up, has anybody really won?
This is also the first bit of Cornelius' writing I've genuinely liked.
I know women who would buy this bowl if they read that -- the allure of so easily climbing in status and worldliness is too much for many upper middle-class women. Throw in foreign looking "pool boys who can cook" and those broads are buying them in bulk and slyly stealing their friends' copies of Williams-Sonoma from countertops during the bi-weekly wineglass-parties. After all, if everybody takes a step up, has anybody really won?
lynnym
+0 -0
I find that a lot of Ray's ideas are actually applicable in the real world.
But yeah, what you said, about the upper-middle class women.
I find that a lot of Ray's ideas are actually applicable in the real world.
But yeah, what you said, about the upper-middle class women.
belgand
+0 -0
The problem comes when you want to brag about where you purchased it, but if you do so your friends might also be able to purchase it.
The problem comes when you want to brag about where you purchased it, but if you do so your friends might also be able to purchase it.
narenial
+0 -0
Chuck Williams is a tired man. I feel the pain of upholding your empire, Chuck Williams . . .
Chuck Williams is a tired man. I feel the pain of upholding your empire, Chuck Williams . . .
stereo
+0 -0
Since the internet knows no shame I gotta admit I am really turned on by your avataricon. So pink and fleshy.
Since the internet knows no shame I gotta admit I am really turned on by your avataricon. So pink and fleshy.
mr-siegal
+1 -0
Easy fella. Narenial may not be an attractive young female but rather a 43 year old vice detective with sophisticated ip tracking software, a Tom Sellick moustache, beer gut and body odour; maybe even male.
Easy fella. Narenial may not be an attractive young female but rather a 43 year old vice detective with sophisticated ip tracking software, a Tom Sellick moustache, beer gut and body odour; maybe even male.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
...could still be pink and fleshy, but.
...could still be pink and fleshy, but.
narenial
+0 -0
Pink and fleshy, indeed, as well as rather vagina enabled. Body odour is only a sometimes thing. We try to remedy that.
I hope never to resemble Tom Selleck, even when I am 43. Which is not so close to one hundred.
Pink and fleshy, indeed, as well as rather vagina enabled. Body odour is only a sometimes thing. We try to remedy that.
I hope never to resemble Tom Selleck, even when I am 43. Which is not so close to one hundred.
narenial
+0 -0
Darn. Now I feel weird having a picture of a real live me-person as my avatar.
Is greyscale/32-bit really the way to go, here? Forgive me. I'm new.
Darn. Now I feel weird having a picture of a real live me-person as my avatar.
Is greyscale/32-bit really the way to go, here? Forgive me. I'm new.
soupkaty
+0 -0
There was once a time when everyone on assetbar used a picture of their face as their icon. It only lasted a weekend, but it was awesome.
There was once a time when everyone on assetbar used a picture of their face as their icon. It only lasted a weekend, but it was awesome.
soupykaty
+0 -0
Comment left by soupykaty ignored.
Comment left by soupykaty ignored.
drskradley
+1 -0
Lamed for using other people's names and avatars.
I repeat: think big. Don't be small and petty like this. An easy target is an unimpressive target.
.....although that picture of Palin constantly winking is doing wonders in my pants. I thank you for this.
Lamed for using other people's names and avatars.
I repeat: think big. Don't be small and petty like this. An easy target is an unimpressive target.
.....although that picture of Palin constantly winking is doing wonders in my pants. I thank you for this.
leche-botte
+2 -0
I think spoof accounts are fine as long as they're done in a spirit of fun and good-natured ribbing, but then I love everyone and everything, even alreadyinuse! Everyone has something worthwhile to contribute! Everyone is a unique and wonderful snowflake! I'm so in love with the world, I wanna cum!
I think spoof accounts are fine as long as they're done in a spirit of fun and good-natured ribbing, but then I love everyone and everything, even alreadyinuse! Everyone has something worthwhile to contribute! Everyone is a unique and wonderful snowflake! I'm so in love with the world, I wanna cum!
drskradley
+0 -0
Brother, we all wanna cum...
Brother, we all wanna cum...
thegoblins
+0 -0
I suppose I shall have scorn and loathing heaped upon my head for asking, but from where is this "I wanna cum" business?
I suppose I shall have scorn and loathing heaped upon my head for asking, but from where is this "I wanna cum" business?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
There is a man. He has two desires. Bring to attention fact and orgasms.
There is a man. He has two desires. Bring to attention fact and orgasms.
octafish
+0 -0
There is a man - a certain man
And for the poor you may be sure
That he'll do all he can!
Who is this one?
This fav'rite son?
Just by his action
Has the Traction magnates on the run?
Who loves to smoke?
Enjoys a joke?
Who wouldn't get a bit upset
If he were really broke?
With wealth and fame
He's still the same
I'll bet you five you're not alive
If you don't know his name
What is his name?...
It's iwannacum.
There is a man - a certain man
And for the poor you may be sure
That he'll do all he can!
Who is this one?
This fav'rite son?
Just by his action
Has the Traction magnates on the run?
Who loves to smoke?
Enjoys a joke?
Who wouldn't get a bit upset
If he were really broke?
With wealth and fame
He's still the same
I'll bet you five you're not alive
If you don't know his name
What is his name?...
It's iwannacum.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You have gleaned much from "Correct". Your empathic musicianship reads much from that which the rest of us do not understand.
You have gleaned much from "Correct". Your empathic musicianship reads much from that which the rest of us do not understand.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
thegoblins has never met a human boy
thegoblins has never met a human boy
thegoblins
+0 -0
Goodness, do they always wanna cum?
Goodness, do they always wanna cum?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Correct
Correct
belgand
+0 -0
Even while they are currently cumming they find it yields no succor and is incapable of slaking that ever-present need.
Even while they are currently cumming they find it yields no succor and is incapable of slaking that ever-present need.
drskradely
+0 -1
hello is that you D? This is AIU. where the fuck have you been? I friended your wife on facebook but haven't heard from the bitch! What gives!
hello is that you D? This is AIU. where the fuck have you been? I friended your wife on facebook but haven't heard from the bitch! What gives!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I find this anecdote amusing.
I find this anecdote amusing.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
AIU here. your wife finally responded but it was nonsense. still 'little confused. replay swiftly
AIU here. your wife finally responded but it was nonsense. still 'little confused. replay swiftly
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
You go for old broads with an eye tic too, eh?
You go for old broads with an eye tic too, eh?
drskradley
+0 -0
Dude, she'd be young for you.
BAM.
Dude, she'd be young for you.
BAM.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
WHAM
WHAM
drskradley
+0 -0
KA-BLAM
KA-BLAM
woodenteeth
+0 -0
PHONE JACKET'D
PHONE JACKET'D
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
biden creepily looking is...creepy.
[IMGS OFF]
biden creepily looking is...creepy.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
They were better times... weren't they Octafish?
They were better times... weren't they Octafish?
drskradley
+0 -0
Yeah you guys and Edwell are about the last remaining remnants of that time. I missed out on H/FW/E - so coming on the scene late, I tried mine for but a moment. This was because I realised how much I suck at making gifs (read: I CAN'T), thus meaning I couldn't make a gif of myself doing the "Ash-nod". And this would not do. Not do at all.
Yeah you guys and Edwell are about the last remaining remnants of that time. I missed out on H/FW/E - so coming on the scene late, I tried mine for but a moment. This was because I realised how much I suck at making gifs (read: I CAN'T), thus meaning I couldn't make a gif of myself doing the "Ash-nod". And this would not do. Not do at all.
smilebuddha
+16 -0
Boy the way edwell could paint;
Comments that made us do spittakes.
And Manflesh with his anal play:
Those were the days.
And you knew who you were then,
'Cause folks had hands upon their heads:
Mister, we could use a man
Like spinynorman again.
Didn't need no trolling bait,
Everybody pulled his weight.
Even loneal thought it was great:
Those ... were ... the ...DAAAYYYYYYYYS!
[IMGS OFF]
Boy the way edwell could paint;
Comments that made us do spittakes.
And Manflesh with his anal play:
Those were the days.
And you knew who you were then,
'Cause folks had hands upon their heads:
Mister, we could use a man
Like spinynorman again.
Didn't need no trolling bait,
Everybody pulled his weight.
Even loneal thought it was great:
Those ... were ... the ...DAAAYYYYYYYYS!
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+3 -0
Assetbar was filmed before a sort of living studio audience.
Assetbar was filmed before a sort of living studio audience.
octafish
+0 -0
They are so sad. Meathead looks like he is about to cry.
They are so sad. Meathead looks like he is about to cry.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
He senses Archie and Edith's imminent demise, and wonders is there any meaning to sitcom life.
Meathead only pawn in game of life.
He senses Archie and Edith's imminent demise, and wonders is there any meaning to sitcom life.
Meathead only pawn in game of life.
howl
+0 -0
Is it bad that I love this show
Is it bad that I love this show
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No. No. It is not. It is the best to love the show that began with a toilet flushing.
Also this
No. No. It is not. It is the best to love the show that began with a toilet flushing.
Also this
drskradley
+0 -0
Oh my sweet Emet. That was intense.
Oh my sweet Emet. That was intense.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I... I need to know what has become of spinynorman. I feel like there was a Tragedy, on the Internet, and I was not informed.
I... I need to know what has become of spinynorman. I feel like there was a Tragedy, on the Internet, and I was not informed.
tekende
+0 -0
spinynorman is Busy and recently got engaged. He is in the process of having a book published and I would imagine that takes up a lot of one's time.
spinynorman is Busy and recently got engaged. He is in the process of having a book published and I would imagine that takes up a lot of one's time.
octafish
+0 -0
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I would have used a picture of my own face but my identity was stolen by a 50 years dead man.
I would have used a picture of my own face but my identity was stolen by a 50 years dead man.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
My avicon is of my real live recently passed-on cat. If you look closely, you can see him become Time, destroyer of worlds. Or a Rancor. Whatevs my babies.
My avicon is of my real live recently passed-on cat. If you look closely, you can see him become Time, destroyer of worlds. Or a Rancor. Whatevs my babies.
narenial
+0 -0
I don't know whether I should be flattered or afraid.
I don't know whether I should be flattered or afraid.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Afraid, be very afraid.
The internet is not a safe place.
Afraid, be very afraid.
The internet is not a safe place.
narenial
+0 -0
Too true. Also, the purple, bulbous nature of your avatar frightens me almost more than stereo's advances . . .
Too true. Also, the purple, bulbous nature of your avatar frightens me almost more than stereo's advances . . .
drskradley
+0 -0
Yeah, it's gotta suck being a chick sometimes. Particularly on The Inter-Net, and particularly on this forum. Show a bit of female-leaning features and the dudes are all "HOLY FUCK A LADY". Must get annoying.
That having been said, you are pullin' the doe-eyes in that picture. But then, any picture of a lady at her computer is wonderful. Soupkaty up there, for example, is not pulling off anything remotely come-hither, and looks smashing.
Just callin' it like it is. I have this weird fetish for females, apologies.
Yeah, it's gotta suck being a chick sometimes. Particularly on The Inter-Net, and particularly on this forum. Show a bit of female-leaning features and the dudes are all "HOLY FUCK A LADY". Must get annoying.
That having been said, you are pullin' the doe-eyes in that picture. But then, any picture of a lady at her computer is wonderful. Soupkaty up there, for example, is not pulling off anything remotely come-hither, and looks smashing.
Just callin' it like it is. I have this weird fetish for females, apologies.
drskradely
+0 -0
A comment left by drskradely was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by morypcaina, woodenteeth, DrSkradley, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by drskradely was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by morypcaina, woodenteeth, DrSkradley, I_Love_Kate)
drskradley
+0 -0
Hey look, I can sorta lame myself!
Quote:
You mean taxonomical paradox. And only if you rearrange it and take out all its punctuation so that it's all kinds of syntactically fucked.
Hey look, I can sorta lame myself!
Quote:
The phrase "being a chick sometimes sucks" is a grammatical paradox...
You mean taxonomical paradox. And only if you rearrange it and take out all its punctuation so that it's all kinds of syntactically fucked.
crom
+5 -0
Man, I used to play a bit of Counter-Strike, and all those carpal-tunnel onanist freaks would flip shit when a "girl" joined the server. It was like the second coming of Jesus Christ or something. All like:
r0xorUrb0x0rz: b00bs
death_incarnate: Ha ha totally!
longdongsilver: OMG HAX FuCK you guys.
Kate has joined the server
longdongsilver: Kate are you a girl???
s33k_and_d3stroy: OH HAI KATE!!1
aquateenhungerforcereference: Kate join CT!
In conclusion, the terrorists won.
Man, I used to play a bit of Counter-Strike, and all those carpal-tunnel onanist freaks would flip shit when a "girl" joined the server. It was like the second coming of Jesus Christ or something. All like:
r0xorUrb0x0rz: b00bs
death_incarnate: Ha ha totally!
longdongsilver: OMG HAX FuCK you guys.
Kate has joined the server
longdongsilver: Kate are you a girl???
s33k_and_d3stroy: OH HAI KATE!!1
aquateenhungerforcereference: Kate join CT!
In conclusion, the terrorists won.
narenial
+0 -0
That's because the carpal-tunnel onanist freaks will never be laid. Ever.
That's because the carpal-tunnel onanist freaks will never be laid. Ever.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Though the internet be full of sexual predators, it also be full of sexual prey, narenial. It ain't all bad. [/paraphrasing Dmitri Martin]
Though the internet be full of sexual predators, it also be full of sexual prey, narenial. It ain't all bad. [/paraphrasing Dmitri Martin]
thegoblins
+1 -0
Carpal tunnel onanism must be the most painful sort of onanism.
Carpal tunnel onanism must be the most painful sort of onanism.
crom
+0 -0
That's where the wrist brace comes in.
[IMGS OFF]
That's where the wrist brace comes in.
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
THIS DINOSAUR IS DUMB.
THIS DINOSAUR IS DUMB.
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
women r bad atgames everything thing they do
women r bad at
narenial
+0 -0
Except blowjobs. We're very good at that.
Except blowjobs. We're very good at that.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
eh
eh
narenial
+0 -0
. . . You have made me sad.
[IMGS OFF]
. . . You have made me sad.
[IMGS OFF]
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Hey yo, nothing personal. I'm just saying that some girls overrate their head-giving ability. There's ways to compensate.
Semi-quaver, gormster, retardo, et al. How are dudes at dick sucking? Pretty good? This is purely academic.
Hey yo, nothing personal. I'm just saying that some girls overrate their head-giving ability. There's ways to compensate.
Semi-quaver, gormster, retardo, et al. How are dudes at dick sucking? Pretty good? This is purely academic.
narenial
+1 -0
If I had a dick to be sucked, I would let you know, but we'll have to track down a gay to answer that one, methinks.
Certainly, one woman's blowjob giving abilities differ from the next girl's, but I personally get the sense that it is an innate ability one has. Like not being able to pee standing up without considerable practice.
Are titty fucks proper compensation for bad blowjobs? I must learn the politics of this.
If I had a dick to be sucked, I would let you know, but we'll have to track down a gay to answer that one, methinks.
Certainly, one woman's blowjob giving abilities differ from the next girl's, but I personally get the sense that it is an innate ability one has. Like not being able to pee standing up without considerable practice.
Are titty fucks proper compensation for bad blowjobs? I must learn the politics of this.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Titty fucks, in my experience, are a reverie; more eventful in imagination that reality. Even greased/lubed/whatever titties are not the funnest things to fuck. Titties are better for squeezing, sucking, tonguing, biting, etc. For all involved.
And I've fucked some pretty big titties.
Titty fucks, in my experience, are a reverie; more eventful in imagination that reality. Even greased/lubed/whatever titties are not the funnest things to fuck. Titties are better for squeezing, sucking, tonguing, biting, etc. For all involved.
And I've fucked some pretty big titties.
narenial
+0 -0
I must agree, personally. It's generally not satisfying to this female, either.
Intimacy does not fill all empty holes.
I must agree, personally. It's generally not satisfying to this female, either.
Intimacy does not fill all empty holes.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
That's what fingers are for?
I feel like you left that open for me.
I mean...wait, what?
That's what fingers are for?
I feel like you left that open for me.
I mean...wait, what?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Wow. I'll share and say that breasts rubbed against penis are my version of heaven. My lord narenial please do it anyway, if the man in question deserves it...
Wow. I'll share and say that breasts rubbed against penis are my version of heaven. My lord narenial please do it anyway, if the man in question deserves it...
narenial
+1 -0
Oh, I do just about anything I'm asked. I love the sensation, it just doesn't do anything for me SEXUALLY. Does that make sense?
Besides, combined titty-fuck/blowjobs are much nicer, in my opinion, for both parties involved.
Oh, I do just about anything I'm asked. I love the sensation, it just doesn't do anything for me SEXUALLY. Does that make sense?
Besides, combined titty-fuck/blowjobs are much nicer, in my opinion, for both parties involved.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
That does make sense. I approve of titty-fuck-blow-jobs and have decided there really should be a name for this particular "move". I would make some kind of mention about the "anything I'm asked" section of your comment, but quite frankly, I just want to think about that for a moment instead. Give me a minute...
That does make sense. I approve of titty-fuck-blow-jobs and have decided there really should be a name for this particular "move". I would make some kind of mention about the "anything I'm asked" section of your comment, but quite frankly, I just want to think about that for a moment instead. Give me a minute...
tekende
+0 -0
Hey everybody! woodenteeth and narenial are gonna have sex!
Hey everybody! woodenteeth and narenial are gonna have sex!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Crowd around, crowd around! Don't be shy, crowd around!
Crowd around, crowd around! Don't be shy, crowd around!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You get too close I can't be held responsible for what might happen to you.
You get too close I can't be held responsible for what might happen to you.
tekende
+0 -0
The first two rows will get wet.
The first two rows will get wet.
rowboat
+0 -0
If I so much as knew what the fuck photoshop even was, I would so be throwin' together a picture of woodenteeth's avatar on Gallagher's body all gettin' ready to smash narenial's avatar. The hammer would be replaced with a huge cock. It would be so sweet.
If I so much as knew what the fuck photoshop even was, I would so be throwin' together a picture of woodenteeth's avatar on Gallagher's body all gettin' ready to smash narenial's avatar. The hammer would be replaced with a huge cock. It would be so sweet.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Someone has weird ideas about se-ex!
Someone has weird ideas about se-ex!
rowboat
+0 -0
OK. The hammer would be a teeny weeny, itsy bitsy cock. Is that easier for you to understand?
OK. The hammer would be a teeny weeny, itsy bitsy cock. Is that easier for you to understand?
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Perhaps more accurate anyway.
Don't press post, don't press post, you don't want this humili
Perhaps more accurate anyway.
Don't press post, don't press post, you don't want this humili
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I feel the hate.
It burns!
I feel the hate.
It burns!
plummet
+0 -0
>Does that make sense?
You lost me. I think I need hands-on experience to see your point here.
>Does that make sense?
You lost me. I think I need hands-on experience to see your point here.
tekende
+0 -0
Titty fucks always seemed overrated to me. Never tried it, but never really wanted to. I mean, there's a vagina down there, you know?
Titty fucks always seemed overrated to me. Never tried it, but never really wanted to. I mean, there's a vagina down there, you know?
drskradley
+0 -0
I've done it, and as fineoakstructure put it - the reality isn't as good as the image you invoke in your head. The visual is good, but I'd even go as far as to say that even there it's got nothing on good oral. A blowjob is, truly, a wonderful thing.
But I've heard mixed reports about the opposite side of the coin. Some love it, but some get weirded out at the idea of a guy getting your vaginal juices all over his la bouche. And, of course, the first time you do it you'll probably get a UTI. Mouths, man: petri dishes.
I've done it, and as fineoakstructure put it - the reality isn't as good as the image you invoke in your head. The visual is good, but I'd even go as far as to say that even there it's got nothing on good oral. A blowjob is, truly, a wonderful thing.
But I've heard mixed reports about the opposite side of the coin. Some love it, but some get weirded out at the idea of a guy getting your vaginal juices all over his la bouche. And, of course, the first time you do it you'll probably get a UTI. Mouths, man: petri dishes.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
In my experience a girl who doesn't like receiving head is normally fairly crazy, in a bad way. Also, a girl who makes a massive deal over how much she likes giving blow jobs is probably going to turn out quite needy and clinging. Oral sex truly is the window to the soul.
In my experience a girl who doesn't like receiving head is normally fairly crazy, in a bad way. Also, a girl who makes a massive deal over how much she likes giving blow jobs is probably going to turn out quite needy and clinging. Oral sex truly is the window to the soul.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
hatstand_mcq: Making you wish you noticed the connection first. Every time.
hatstand_mcq: Making you wish you noticed the connection first. Every time.
rowboat
+2 -0
Aw, narenial - you ain't have to play it this way. We'll be friends with you. All you have to be is nice and/or funny.
But while we're on the subject, I will submit that there is no such thing as a bad blowjob. I've had great ones and not-as-great ones, but never a bad one. There were a few that may have been a little nervous or uninspired, but hey - my dick was in a mouth. Barring cannibalism, it's hard for that arrangement to go too badly.
Aw, narenial - you ain't have to play it this way. We'll be friends with you. All you have to be is nice and/or funny.
But while we're on the subject, I will submit that there is no such thing as a bad blowjob. I've had great ones and not-as-great ones, but never a bad one. There were a few that may have been a little nervous or uninspired, but hey - my dick was in a mouth. Barring cannibalism, it's hard for that arrangement to go too badly.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
True.
I also want to point out that I never said I'd had a bad blowjob. Just, you know, for the public record.
True.
I also want to point out that I never said I'd had a bad blowjob. Just, you know, for the public record.
narenial
+0 -0
Am I making a bad impression?
Shit.
I really don't know how this got started, honestly. The convo just took that route . . .
I'm not a whore. Really.
Am I making a bad impression?
Shit.
I really don't know how this got started, honestly. The convo just took that route . . .
I'm not a whore. Really.
rowboat
+0 -0
First rule of assetbar: pay no mind to rowboat.
First rule of assetbar: pay no mind to rowboat.
rowboat
+0 -0
That said, a coquettish nature never hurts when breaking into a new community. I realize this. I just don't want you to think you have to go that way. Unless you really want to.
Some of our favorite girls here almost never talk about how they fuck. The undisputed Queen of Assetbar (sadly departed, it seems) made her name by throwing together amazingly funny MS Paint art and otherwise employing a sense of humor usually thought to be the sole property of hip, world-weary, middle-aged men. The fact that she was an attractive young girl had surprisingly little to do with her rise to prominence. Well, I can't speak for all the creep-ass motherfuckers here, but that's not why I liked her.
I just want you to know that you have options.
But again, refer to the first rule of assetbar.
You'll do fine.
That said, a coquettish nature never hurts when breaking into a new community. I realize this. I just don't want you to think you have to go that way. Unless you really want to.
Some of our favorite girls here almost never talk about how they fuck. The undisputed Queen of Assetbar (sadly departed, it seems) made her name by throwing together amazingly funny MS Paint art and otherwise employing a sense of humor usually thought to be the sole property of hip, world-weary, middle-aged men. The fact that she was an attractive young girl had surprisingly little to do with her rise to prominence. Well, I can't speak for all the creep-ass motherfuckers here, but that's not why I liked her.
I just want you to know that you have options.
But again, refer to the first rule of assetbar.
You'll do fine.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Quote:
Who is this? I don't know who this is.
Quote:
The undisputed Queen of Assetbar
Who is this? I don't know who this is.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Man ? I'm not cool with you not knowing that kind of stuff.
Man ? I'm not cool with you not knowing that kind of stuff.
narenial
+0 -0
I hereby rescind all connections to this topic thread.
I unfortunately worry far too much how others perceive me, and I do not wish to be tied to an albatross of infamy.
I hereby rescind all connections to this topic thread.
I unfortunately worry far too much how others perceive me, and I do not wish to be tied to an albatross of infamy.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
aaaaaand just because you're a woman and you're talking about how you fuck doesn't mean that you're desperately seeking approval/a "whore". Dear oh dear Mr Rowboat.
aaaaaand just because you're a woman and you're talking about how you fuck doesn't mean that you're desperately seeking approval/a "whore". Dear oh dear Mr Rowboat.
plummet
+0 -0
>I really don't know how this got started, honestly
I guess dudes are used to hearing this one from you?
>I really don't know how this got started, honestly
I guess dudes are used to hearing this one from you?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I still don't know who it is, guys. heccibiggs? loneal?
I still don't know who it is, guys. heccibiggs? loneal?
stereo
+0 -0
I fink he means autrepoupee but I'm honestly not sure either.
I fink he means autrepoupee but I'm honestly not sure either.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
who gives a shit he jus' twokin abot some stupid chick
who gives a shit he jus' twokin abot some stupid chick
tekende
+0 -0
I'm curious too. I was thinking heccibiggs but she never really did much MS Paint stuff.
I'm curious too. I was thinking heccibiggs but she never really did much MS Paint stuff.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I assume Autrepoupee, and would agree to an extent. As far as AssetBroads go no-one else has made me laugh quite as much.
I assume Autrepoupee, and would agree to an extent. As far as AssetBroads go no-one else has made me laugh quite as much.
rowboat
+1 -1
Well, that's just like me to kick off a weird conversation and then disappear for the weekend.
narenial: Forget about all that. Didn't mean to make you self-conscious. Sorry if I did.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on The Crying Light? I was kind of starting to think him a one-album wonder for a minute there (partially for the length of time that passed between his full-lengths), but I'll be damned if he didn't didn't just completely blow his debut out of the water with this one. I really should've planned a trip around seeing one of the few shows he played with a full orchestra. Regret that I didn't.
fineoakstructure: If you have to ask, you'll never know (I don't really believe that but I like to use that line so fucking deal with it).
woodenteeth: It's easy to forget or overlook, but seeking approval and being a whore are very different things. I was never implying whorishness. I was implying attention-seeking, but when all the coins are on the table why does anyone post here or anywhere else like this? To seek attention. Nothing wrong with that. I was only offering suggestions, mainly 'cause I was bored and am a bad person.
And don't try to use your Aussie mind tricks on me, brother.
fineoakstructure: No.
stereo: Yes.
tekende: No.
i_love_kate: Yes.
Well, that's just like me to kick off a weird conversation and then disappear for the weekend.
narenial: Forget about all that. Didn't mean to make you self-conscious. Sorry if I did.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on The Crying Light? I was kind of starting to think him a one-album wonder for a minute there (partially for the length of time that passed between his full-lengths), but I'll be damned if he didn't didn't just completely blow his debut out of the water with this one. I really should've planned a trip around seeing one of the few shows he played with a full orchestra. Regret that I didn't.
fineoakstructure: If you have to ask, you'll never know (I don't really believe that but I like to use that line so fucking deal with it).
woodenteeth: It's easy to forget or overlook, but seeking approval and being a whore are very different things. I was never implying whorishness. I was implying attention-seeking, but when all the coins are on the table why does anyone post here or anywhere else like this? To seek attention. Nothing wrong with that. I was only offering suggestions, mainly 'cause I was bored and am a bad person.
And don't try to use your Aussie mind tricks on me, brother.
fineoakstructure: No.
stereo: Yes.
tekende: No.
i_love_kate: Yes.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, as it turns out "undisputed" may have been a bit presumptuous. I thought her elevated status along side the average assetbar denizen was common knowledge. I'll put it this way; she may be the only person who has received more chubb-dogs from me than drskradley or the blog girl.
Well, as it turns out "undisputed" may have been a bit presumptuous. I thought her elevated status along side the average assetbar denizen was common knowledge. I'll put it this way; she may be the only person who has received more chubb-dogs from me than drskradley or the blog girl.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Ah.
I think we all know how funny autrepoupee is. But she can't be the queen, because isn't she like a 36 year old guy? Or is that just my own jealousy speaking?
But, as stupid as this thread has become (and I have absolute no part in that, I think this is undisputable), I would have guessed heccibiggs to get any claim to that title, as she generally seems to be one of the most well-known assetbar posters, regardless of sex or gender, and because she's been around...a long time, is how I finish that sentence.
Ah.
I think we all know how funny autrepoupee is. But she can't be the queen, because isn't she like a 36 year old guy? Or is that just my own jealousy speaking?
But, as stupid as this thread has become (and I have absolute no part in that, I think this is undisputable), I would have guessed heccibiggs to get any claim to that title, as she generally seems to be one of the most well-known assetbar posters, regardless of sex or gender, and because she's been around...a long time, is how I finish that sentence.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Yeah, I think I may have accidentally combined narenial's concerns and your implications. I accept your explanation. Have this stamp: NOT INSANE.
Yeah, I think I may have accidentally combined narenial's concerns and your implications. I accept your explanation. Have this stamp: NOT INSANE.
plummet
+0 -0
I would like everyone to know that whoever lamed rowboat while he was hell of baring emotions on Assetbar is a cock. I know that rowboat needs laming sometimes but It Is Not Your Business To Lame While Emotions Are Bared.
rowboat: take it slowly, okay?! from your number 2 fan, plummet
I would like everyone to know that whoever lamed rowboat while he was hell of baring emotions on Assetbar is a cock. I know that rowboat needs laming sometimes but It Is Not Your Business To Lame While Emotions Are Bared.
rowboat: take it slowly, okay?! from your number 2 fan, plummet
narenial
+0 -0
I love The Crying Light. I think 'I Am A Bird Now' is still my favourite of his so far, but the poignancy of the orchestration and his singing in 'The Crying Light' comes across so strongly . . . it really is an amazing album.
This is probably my geekiness talking, but I want him and Eric Whitacre to do a Thing.
I love The Crying Light. I think 'I Am A Bird Now' is still my favourite of his so far, but the poignancy of the orchestration and his singing in 'The Crying Light' comes across so strongly . . . it really is an amazing album.
This is probably my geekiness talking, but I want him and Eric Whitacre to do a Thing.
narenial
+0 -0
Orchestration isn't the word I really wanted to use -- I wanted to say that he's an amazing composer.
Orchestration isn't the word I really wanted to use -- I wanted to say that he's an amazing composer.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I totally missed when we started talking about Anthony and the Johnsons, but I feel the need to add my opinion now. His first two albums were incredible, to my mind, (Cripple and the Starfish and Bird Gerhl are probably my two favourite songs) and I desperately need to hear anything new he's put out. Spotify go!
I totally missed when we started talking about Anthony and the Johnsons, but I feel the need to add my opinion now. His first two albums were incredible, to my mind, (Cripple and the Starfish and Bird Gerhl are probably my two favourite songs) and I desperately need to hear anything new he's put out. Spotify go!
narenial
+0 -0
'The Crying Light' is his newest album to date -- it's very tame and intimate. I like it :).
Any Andrew Bird fans?
'The Crying Light' is his newest album to date -- it's very tame and intimate. I like it :).
Any Andrew Bird fans?
rowboat
+0 -0
You bet your ass there are.
You bet your ass there are.
narenial
+0 -0
-timidly, with mild tremors-
. . Does this mean . . . friends?
-timidly, with mild tremors-
. . Does this mean . . . friends?
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't use that term lightly in this medium, but I'll talk your ear off about milquetoast chamber pop all day if you want.
I don't use that term lightly in this medium, but I'll talk your ear off about milquetoast chamber pop all day if you want.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
...and an ear.
...and an ear.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Rowboat's terms of friendship are one (1) ass.
Rowboat's terms of friendship are one (1) ass.
rowboat
+5 -0
rowboat: Give me the ass.
narenial: Throw me the friendship. No time to argue. Throw me the friendship, I'll throw you the ass.
rowboat: [throws the friendship] Give me the ass.
narenial: Adios, senor.
rowboat: Give me the ass.
narenial: Throw me the friendship. No time to argue. Throw me the friendship, I'll throw you the ass.
rowboat: [throws the friendship] Give me the ass.
narenial: Adios, senor.
rowboat
+0 -0
Or Van Dyke Parks a la Ys.
Or Van Dyke Parks a la Ys.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I hear lots of carpal-tunnel onanist freaks love Kate
I hear lots of carpal-tunnel onanist freaks love Kate
i_love_kate
+0 -0
If they want her they'll have to rasser-frackin' get through me.
If they want her they'll have to rasser-frackin' get through me.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
gimme ur stats, bicep size, body-weight, combat experience, fighttraining (if applicable) and height. then i plug ur stuff into ma spreadsheet an' see if i cum out on top an' if i do u gib me kate's phone number and gib her a pic of me. deal?
gimme ur stats, bicep size, body-weight, combat experience, fighttraining (if applicable) and height. then i plug ur stuff into ma spreadsheet an' see if i cum out on top an' if i do u gib me kate's phone number and gib her a pic of me. deal?
rowboat
+0 -0
Glad wants to settle this with fantasy mixed martial arts.
Glad wants to settle this with fantasy mixed martial arts.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Pistols at dawn!
Pistols at dawn!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Let me just find my pure white cowboy outfit, moustache and Kentuckian accent.
Let me just find my pure white cowboy outfit, moustache and Kentuckian accent.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Let me just find my pure white cowboy outfit, moustache and Kentuckian accent.
Let me just find my pure white cowboy outfit, moustache and Kentuckian accent.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I once pounded a guy into the ground like a stake with a shovel.
I once pounded a guy into the ground like a stake with a shovel.
stereo
+0 -0
Rod?
Rod?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
enough BS. giv me ur stats. i am serious
enough BS. giv me ur stats. i am serious
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I don't have a tape measure. I'll just estimate.
Bicep Size: Tremendous
Body Weight: Brobdingnagian
Combat Experience: Astounding
Fight Training: Rigorous and extensive
Height: About six two.
I don't have a tape measure. I'll just estimate.
Bicep Size: Tremendous
Body Weight: Brobdingnagian
Combat Experience: Astounding
Fight Training: Rigorous and extensive
Height: About six two.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Fun game time! Let's treat this like a reverse mad-lib. Replace the bolded text with something similar to make a fun happy time number one!
Tongue Size: Tremendous
Prostate Weight: Brobdingnagian
Animal Husbandry Experience: Astounding
Oral Training: Rigorous and Extensive
Age: About size two
Fun game time! Let's treat this like a reverse mad-lib. Replace the bolded text with something similar to make a fun happy time number one!
Tongue Size: Tremendous
Prostate Weight: Brobdingnagian
Animal Husbandry Experience: Astounding
Oral Training: Rigorous and Extensive
Age: About size two
stereo
+2 -0
Self esteem : Tremendous
Sweat shop workers : Brobdingnagian
Cum hat experience : Astounding
Knowledge of bears : Rigorous and extensive
Dinner time : About six two.
Self esteem : Tremendous
Sweat shop workers : Brobdingnagian
Cum hat experience : Astounding
Knowledge of bears : Rigorous and extensive
Dinner time : About six two.
rowboat
+0 -0
Debt to society: Tremendous
Hatred toward people I've never hugged: Brobdingnagian
Steven Seagal's personal power mixed with Kirk Cameron's personal faith: Astounding
COCK: Rigorous and extensive
BALLS: About six two
Debt to society: Tremendous
Hatred toward people I've never hugged: Brobdingnagian
Steven Seagal's personal power mixed with Kirk Cameron's personal faith: Astounding
COCK: Rigorous and extensive
BALLS: About six two
catgrl131
+0 -0
Size Of Spaceship : Tremendous
BBCode Capabilities : Brobdingnagian
Number Of Mammals Suspended In Formaldehyde : Astounding
Friendship-Bracelet-Weaving Experience : Rigorous and extensive
Width : About six two.
Size Of Spaceship : Tremendous
BBCode Capabilities : Brobdingnagian
Number Of Mammals Suspended In Formaldehyde : Astounding
Friendship-Bracelet-Weaving Experience : Rigorous and extensive
Width : About six two.
narenial
+0 -0
I really do believe sometimes that women are ONLY made up personas on the internets . . .
what the hell am i?
I really do believe sometimes that women are ONLY made up personas on the internets . . .
what the hell am i?
narenial
+0 -0
That's what my eyes look like. It's the way my head is turned, is all.
I've known many men to have fetishes for females. They were all right.
That's what my eyes look like. It's the way my head is turned, is all.
I've known many men to have fetishes for females. They were all right.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
im glad youre at peace with this.
im glad youre at peace with this.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Gracious, what a disturbing trend! I remember a time when gentlemen had respectable fetishes, before this ramant sexual immorality! But alas, that time has cum and gone.
Gracious, what a disturbing trend! I remember a time when gentlemen had respectable fetishes, before this ramant sexual immorality! But alas, that time has cum and gone.
wolfensti
+0 -0
It's is the head of Minsc, ranger, and is loyal companion Boo, the giant miniature space hamster.
There is evil around every corner, let's care not to step in any
It's is the head of Minsc, ranger, and is loyal companion Boo, the giant miniature space hamster.
There is evil around every corner, let's care not to step in any
miku224
+1 -0
Go for the eyes, Boo, GO FOR THE EYES!
Go for the eyes, Boo, GO FOR THE EYES!
wolfensti
+0 -0
[b]RAAAAAAAAAAAAgh[b], but that was a given.
[b]RAAAAAAAAAAAAgh[b], but that was a given.
wolfensti
+1 -0
RAAAAAAAAGGGH, BBCODE
RAAAAAAAAGGGH, BBCODE
narenial
+0 -0
Thank you, sir. I now feel enlightened.
Thank you, sir. I now feel enlightened.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Off topic: Are you comparing a person to an eggplant? Because Italy has beaten you to that punch.
Off topic: Are you comparing a person to an eggplant? Because Italy has beaten you to that punch.
octafish
+0 -0
Select class. Very, very good.
We'll keep the eggplants out!
Ah good! We don't want any vegetables.
Na, na. The jungle bunnies!
Oh of course! They'll eat the vegetables!
Boss, could I talk to him? We're going to keep out the niggers!
The what?
The niggers! We'll keep 'em out.
Sir, you are talking to a nigger!
Ahh Navin. Wait, what are these cans doing here? He hates the cans, keep away from the cans!
Select class. Very, very good.
We'll keep the eggplants out!
Ah good! We don't want any vegetables.
Na, na. The jungle bunnies!
Oh of course! They'll eat the vegetables!
Boss, could I talk to him? We're going to keep out the niggers!
The what?
The niggers! We'll keep 'em out.
Sir, you are talking to a nigger!
Ahh Navin. Wait, what are these cans doing here? He hates the cans, keep away from the cans!
techiebabe
+0 -0
If you think that's frightening, you should see hedonismbot's basement.
If you think that's frightening, you should see hedonismbot's basement.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
You may consider that an invitation. You may ALL consider that an invitation
You may consider that an invitation. You may ALL consider that an invitation
belgand
+0 -0
Should I make reservations for the tour in advance?
Should I make reservations for the tour in advance?
catgrl131
+0 -0
Will we have to bring are own lube, or is that something you take care of?
Will we have to bring are own lube, or is that something you take care of?
catgrl131
+0 -0
In an alternate universe, where the words 'are' and 'our' are synonymous, that comment is perfectly adequate. Let's pretend we're there.
In an alternate universe, where the words 'are' and 'our' are synonymous, that comment is perfectly adequate. Let's pretend we're there.
stereo
+0 -0
It... I guess flattered? I 'm not very good with words.
It... I guess flattered? I 'm not very good with words.
narenial
+0 -0
One can never tell, here in the enigmatic, obscure folds of the interwebs . . .
One can never tell, here in the enigmatic, obscure folds of the interwebs . . .
stereo
+0 -0
huuuuuuug?
huuuuuuug?
narenial
+0 -0
Oh, Here Comes a Special Boy!
Oh, Here Comes a Special Boy!
narenial
+0 -0
I boo the Cappero!
I boo the Cappero!
srikamaraja
+0 -0
THERE BE NO SUCH THING AS THE CAPPERO! THIS CHILD IS A FRAUD!
THERE BE NO SUCH THING AS THE CAPPERO! THIS CHILD IS A FRAUD!
octafish
+1 -1
Hmmm, this feels a little played out, little things like "I've seen finer lettering on necks" and Ray whistling pull it back from the brink. But still... meh.
Hmmm, this feels a little played out, little things like "I've seen finer lettering on necks" and Ray whistling pull it back from the brink. But still... meh.
miku224
+0 -0
I think I want this arc to continue just so I can keep reading the names of these products.
I think I want this arc to continue just so I can keep reading the names of these products.
punkmonkey
+0 -0
I like this strip for one single reason. This strip shows Ray in midst of "Inverse Negotiation". As you can see, Connie makes makes an offer to continue writing for 60 dollars. This is highly unorthodox in and of itself but could be considered acceptable in some cultures. Ray does not return with a lower bid as is customary nor does he even agree to the sixty dollars. He offers a HIGHER price. This is inverse negotiation, essentially a display of wealth.
or balls.
I like this strip for one single reason. This strip shows Ray in midst of "Inverse Negotiation". As you can see, Connie makes makes an offer to continue writing for 60 dollars. This is highly unorthodox in and of itself but could be considered acceptable in some cultures. Ray does not return with a lower bid as is customary nor does he even agree to the sixty dollars. He offers a HIGHER price. This is inverse negotiation, essentially a display of wealth.
or balls.
pppoa
+0 -0
Given the material he's paying for, said balls must be pretty blue.
Given the material he's paying for, said balls must be pretty blue.
narenial
+0 -0
As we all know, Ray is blessed with both wealth AND balls.
As we all know, Ray is blessed with both wealth AND balls.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Ray's been totally phone-dropping-in-the-pool neutered.
Even the Devil couldn't reverse that.
Ray's been totally phone-dropping-in-the-pool neutered.
Even the Devil couldn't reverse that.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
IT WAS A VASECTOMY.
Seriously, now.
IT WAS A VASECTOMY.
Seriously, now.
narenial
+0 -0
Unless he was neutered. I don't ever remember that coming up, though.
Unless he was neutered. I don't ever remember that coming up, though.
blacksheepboy
+0 -0
Hell yes, he can still sport wood.
Hell yes, he can still sport wood.
narenial
+0 -0
Hence, Achewood ?
Oh. I went there.
Hae always wondered if that was a bad joke, actually . .. Seems like Cornelius has dirtier roots than he could have imagined! Dirtier celery roots . . .
Hence, Achewood ?
Oh. I went there.
Hae always wondered if that was a bad joke, actually . .. Seems like Cornelius has dirtier roots than he could have imagined! Dirtier celery roots . . .
wolfensti
+0 -0
I've read that it was a root that had hallucogenic property or the like
I've read that it was a root that had hallucogenic property or the like
octafish
+0 -0
Traditional Australian Pick-up Line.
Have you ever tripped over a stick?
*Wait for answer, either positive or negative*
How about a root?
Traditional Australian Pick-up Line.
Have you ever tripped over a stick?
*Wait for answer, either positive or negative*
How about a root?
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Whippersnappers! The name is from history, which ya'll should learn.
From the About Achewood link:
%u201CAchewood,%u201D like wormwood, was used by antebellum slaves in the production of %u201Cachewater,%u201D a long-since outmoded and outlawed Southern beverage.
Drinkers of achewater experienced hallucinations and euphoria, but the after-effects of the liquor produced a deep and lasting melancholy (hence its name).
Modern science has confirmed that achewood oil, the active ingredient in achewater, is a powerful depressant which causes irreversible neurological damage.
Achewater is generally thought to have inspired many Southern folk songs and fables, such as %u201CThe Story of Poor John Ritch,%u201D %u201CSullivan%u2019s Bear and Dried Bird%u201D and %u201CI%u2019m Following a Little Round Lord.%u201D
Whippersnappers! The name is from history, which ya'll should learn.
From the About Achewood link:
%u201CAchewood,%u201D like wormwood, was used by antebellum slaves in the production of %u201Cachewater,%u201D a long-since outmoded and outlawed Southern beverage.
Drinkers of achewater experienced hallucinations and euphoria, but the after-effects of the liquor produced a deep and lasting melancholy (hence its name).
Modern science has confirmed that achewood oil, the active ingredient in achewater, is a powerful depressant which causes irreversible neurological damage.
Achewater is generally thought to have inspired many Southern folk songs and fables, such as %u201CThe Story of Poor John Ritch,%u201D %u201CSullivan%u2019s Bear and Dried Bird%u201D and %u201CI%u2019m Following a Little Round Lord.%u201D
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Assetbar cold HATES history.
Assetbar cold HATES history.
narenial
+0 -0
I found that bit shortly after posting my question. I felt right ridiculous.
I found that bit shortly after posting my question. I felt right ridiculous.
narenial
+1 -0
I suggest a Mad-Libs Erotica game using the Williams-Sonoma catalogue as basis?
All in favour . . .
I suggest a Mad-Libs Erotica game using the Williams-Sonoma catalogue as basis?
All in favour . . .
woodenteeth
+0 -0
i
i
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hai.
Hai.
stereo
+3 -0
The ________(1) poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my _________(2) fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my __________ (3) and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the _________(4), I ask him what his favourite flavour of __________(5) is, and show him my ______________(6). I notice how his muscles ripple along his ___________(7), and mentally make a comparison to my ____________(8). The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the __________ (9), and feel my pulse quicken.
1) Ethnicity
2) Furniture
3) Something which could be draped across the shoulders
4) Noun
5) Mixed drink
6) Food processor
7) Body part
8) pg. 39
9) Scent
The ________(1) poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my _________(2) fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my __________ (3) and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the _________(4), I ask him what his favourite flavour of __________(5) is, and show him my ______________(6). I notice how his muscles ripple along his ___________(7), and mentally make a comparison to my ____________(8). The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the __________ (9), and feel my pulse quicken.
1) Ethnicity
2) Furniture
3) Something which could be draped across the shoulders
4) Noun
5) Mixed drink
6) Food processor
7) Body part
8) pg. 39
9) Scent
narenial
+0 -0
Well, I just spawn all types of interesting debate.
Huh. Nice.
Well, I just spawn all types of interesting debate.
Huh. Nice.
united
+0 -0
hi narenial, would you like to have sex?
hi narenial, would you like to have sex?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Frickin' butterflies.
Frickin' butterflies.
narenial
+0 -0
I believe that others should answer this question for me.
I believe that others should answer this question for me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You should loan me some of your clothes and your left eye so I can pretend to be you. He'll never know the difference. I can have sex EXACTLY the same way you always do.
You should loan me some of your clothes and your left eye so I can pretend to be you. He'll never know the difference. I can have sex EXACTLY the same way you always do.
narenial
+0 -0
I love that you offer to the wonderful readers of assetbar the idea that you observe me engage in coitus on a regular basis.
How DO I have sex, anyways? This is a question everyone should be asking themselves!
Imagine what we would learn . . .
[IMGS OFF]
I love that you offer to the wonderful readers of assetbar the idea that you observe me engage in coitus on a regular basis.
How DO I have sex, anyways? This is a question everyone should be asking themselves!
Imagine what we would learn . . .
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
That man has seen Hedonsimbot in a way that no man should. Though the 'bot's powers are great and the man offers himself.
That man has seen Hedonsimbot in a way that no man should. Though the 'bot's powers are great and the man offers himself.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I have a subscription to www.narenialsbarewhiteass.com
I have a subscription to www.narenialsbarewhiteass.com
narenial
+0 -0
No. You have not.
No. You have not.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You fail. to understand. and therefore acknowledge. your relationship. with Hedonismbot.
Heowns likes you and all the kanyas in the harem girls on the forum.
You fail. to understand. and therefore acknowledge. your relationship. with Hedonismbot.
He
tekende
+4 -0
The Spanish/Inuit poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my IKEA computer hutch fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my one of those poles used to carry buckets of water in Africa or wherever and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the cabinet , I ask him what his favourite flavour of margarita is, and show him my Cuisinart I got from Walmart for like $20 because it was a display model . I notice how his muscles ripple along his vagina , and mentally make a comparison to my Williams-Sonoma dish rack . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the orange rinds ground up in the garbage disposal in the sink , and feel my pulse quicken.
The Spanish/Inuit poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my IKEA computer hutch fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my one of those poles used to carry buckets of water in Africa or wherever and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the cabinet , I ask him what his favourite flavour of margarita is, and show him my Cuisinart I got from Walmart for like $20 because it was a display model . I notice how his muscles ripple along his vagina , and mentally make a comparison to my Williams-Sonoma dish rack . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the orange rinds ground up in the garbage disposal in the sink , and feel my pulse quicken.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
1- Ethnic
2- Lactating Statue
3- Drunk Jeremy Paxman
4- Executive sauna and shower suite with mahogany effect lounging-bench and detachable thermometer
5- Panda Cola
6- That spinning blade on a stick you make soup with
7- Manly chin
8- More feminine, but still well toned chin
9- chlorine from the pool, and also the lingering smell of that Panda Cola.
1- Ethnic
2- Lactating Statue
3- Drunk Jeremy Paxman
4- Executive sauna and shower suite with mahogany effect lounging-bench and detachable thermometer
5- Panda Cola
6- That spinning blade on a stick you make soup with
7- Manly chin
8- More feminine, but still well toned chin
9- chlorine from the pool, and also the lingering smell of that Panda Cola.
thegoblins
+1 -0
The Trinidadian poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my Lazy Susan fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove someone%u2019s mum and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the Baklava, I ask him what his favourite flavour of G&T is, and show him my thing that froils. I notice how his muscles ripple along his Peyer%u2019s patches, and mentally make a comparison to my time when someone basically gets hurt. The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the Elizabeth Arden Green Tea, and feel my pulse quicken.
YA HA HA HA HA!
The Trinidadian poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my Lazy Susan fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove someone%u2019s mum and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the Baklava, I ask him what his favourite flavour of G&T is, and show him my thing that froils. I notice how his muscles ripple along his Peyer%u2019s patches, and mentally make a comparison to my time when someone basically gets hurt. The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the Elizabeth Arden Green Tea, and feel my pulse quicken.
YA HA HA HA HA!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The albino poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my ottoman fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my shawl and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the breach, I ask him what his favourite flavour of Mai Tai is, and show him my potato masher. I notice how his muscles ripple along his glabella, and mentally make a comparison to my own ill-fated screenplay, The Phantom of Agamemnon. The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the smell of when you've been playing with blu-tac for ages with like sweaty hands, and feel my pulse quicken.
The albino poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my ottoman fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my shawl and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the breach, I ask him what his favourite flavour of Mai Tai is, and show him my potato masher. I notice how his muscles ripple along his glabella, and mentally make a comparison to my own ill-fated screenplay, The Phantom of Agamemnon. The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the smell of when you've been playing with blu-tac for ages with like sweaty hands, and feel my pulse quicken.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
"Time when someone basically gets hurt" is one of the most Achewoodine statements I have read outside of the strip. Thank you.
"Time when someone basically gets hurt" is one of the most Achewoodine statements I have read outside of the strip. Thank you.
narenial
+1 -0
The Basque poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my hand-painted Peruvian endtables fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my ermine and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the cat , I ask him what his favourite flavour of Jagerbomb is, and show him my Rachel Ray's Authentic Almond and Other Nut Chopping Apparatus . I notice how his muscles ripple along his erector spinae , and mentally make a comparison to my illegal equine phallus collection in the guest bedroom . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the rank sweetness of a bad patchouli , and feel my pulse quicken.
The Basque poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my hand-painted Peruvian endtables fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my ermine and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the cat , I ask him what his favourite flavour of Jagerbomb is, and show him my Rachel Ray's Authentic Almond and Other Nut Chopping Apparatus . I notice how his muscles ripple along his erector spinae , and mentally make a comparison to my illegal equine phallus collection in the guest bedroom . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the rank sweetness of a bad patchouli , and feel my pulse quicken.
octafish
+2 -0
The Lesbian poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my Louis XIV commode fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my crocheted shawl[b] and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the [b]fire hydrant , I ask him what his favourite flavour of shandy[b/] is, and show him my [b]Vitamizer . I notice how his muscles ripple along his big toe , and mentally make a comparison to my you have died please start again . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the freshly mimeographed test papers , and feel my pulse quicken.
The Lesbian poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my Louis XIV commode fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my crocheted shawl[b] and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the [b]fire hydrant , I ask him what his favourite flavour of shandy[b/] is, and show him my [b]Vitamizer . I notice how his muscles ripple along his big toe , and mentally make a comparison to my you have died please start again . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the freshly mimeographed test papers , and feel my pulse quicken.
octafish
+0 -0
fail
fail
rowboat
+0 -0
The Central African Republican poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my recently overused hide tanning rack fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my victimskin pelt and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the bed of candy nails , I ask him what his favorite flavor of goat "cocktail" is, and show him my recently overused Chop-O-Matic . I notice how his muscles ripple along his victimskin , and mentally make a comparison to my At the time it seemed like a trivial change, but later, for the lives of hundreds of thousands of Chinese, it would prove to be a critical one. The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the duckbutteriness , and feel my pulse quicken.
The Central African Republican poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my recently overused hide tanning rack fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my victimskin pelt and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the bed of candy nails , I ask him what his favorite flavor of goat "cocktail" is, and show him my recently overused Chop-O-Matic . I notice how his muscles ripple along his victimskin , and mentally make a comparison to my At the time it seemed like a trivial change, but later, for the lives of hundreds of thousands of Chinese, it would prove to be a critical one. The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the duckbutteriness , and feel my pulse quicken.
catgrl131
+0 -0
The Amphibious poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my huge vase made specifically to hold plastic bamboo fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my hobo carcass and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the kitchen sink , I ask him what his favourite flavour of kool-aid mixed with some type of alcohol is, and show him my "food processer" if you catch my drift . I notice how his muscles ripple along his duodenum , and mentally make a comparison to my electric gravy oscillator . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the raw, masculine musk of beef jerky , and feel my pulse quicken.
Woo! *fans self* What a bawdy tale!
The Amphibious poolboy trips gaily into the room, full of spunk. His motion stops suddenly when he sees my huge vase made specifically to hold plastic bamboo fully exposed. Those subtle curves. That off-white finish. It's magnificent. When I speak and say, "You like it, don't you" he almost whimpers with delight. I carefully remove my hobo carcass and his eyes bulge like two gibbous moons. Leading him into the kitchen sink , I ask him what his favourite flavour of kool-aid mixed with some type of alcohol is, and show him my "food processer" if you catch my drift . I notice how his muscles ripple along his duodenum , and mentally make a comparison to my electric gravy oscillator . The pool boy is fantastic! As I move closer, I sense the raw, masculine musk of beef jerky , and feel my pulse quicken.
Woo! *fans self* What a bawdy tale!
narenial
+0 -0
5'd for "Veblenian maze-rat".
5'd for "Veblenian maze-rat".
zweibel
+6 -0
Another swampish July will soon be upon us, bringing with it the promise of sweltering heat, golden pitchers of ice-cold lemon-ade administered to me in enema-form, and the nightmarish prospect of sunlight which lasts until nine o'clock at night. Monstrous! When I was a lad, it was dark from five in the evening until noon the next day, and the July temperature never exceeded fifty degrees on Professor-Doktor Fahrenheit's scale. I am certain that the world is hurtling ever closer to the Sun, overbalanced as it is on one side by the overbreeding of the fecund Hindoo, but at present there is little I can do about it.
Still, if July is the cruelest month, it at least provides some relief in the form of the annual re-drilling of my cataracts. This irrigation, performed by the able hands of Doc McGillicuddy, prevents my eyes, swollen as they are with a milky, bilious substance, from bursting in the cruel heat of summer, running down my face and pooling in my lap.
As the publisher of the Republic's greatest news-paper, my entire life and livelihood have been shaped by the printed word. However, I still enjoy it immensely, no matter how cruelly it has twisted my life and I believe books may be the salvation of our vile populist society, once the bad ones have been collected in great piles and set alight, and, of course, once G.K. Chesterton is hunted down and shot.
Here is my reading-list for the next six weeks: The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
That Chuck Williams is my kind of guy.
Another swampish July will soon be upon us, bringing with it the promise of sweltering heat, golden pitchers of ice-cold lemon-ade administered to me in enema-form, and the nightmarish prospect of sunlight which lasts until nine o'clock at night. Monstrous! When I was a lad, it was dark from five in the evening until noon the next day, and the July temperature never exceeded fifty degrees on Professor-Doktor Fahrenheit's scale. I am certain that the world is hurtling ever closer to the Sun, overbalanced as it is on one side by the overbreeding of the fecund Hindoo, but at present there is little I can do about it.
Still, if July is the cruelest month, it at least provides some relief in the form of the annual re-drilling of my cataracts. This irrigation, performed by the able hands of Doc McGillicuddy, prevents my eyes, swollen as they are with a milky, bilious substance, from bursting in the cruel heat of summer, running down my face and pooling in my lap.
As the publisher of the Republic's greatest news-paper, my entire life and livelihood have been shaped by the printed word. However, I still enjoy it immensely, no matter how cruelly it has twisted my life and I believe books may be the salvation of our vile populist society, once the bad ones have been collected in great piles and set alight, and, of course, once G.K. Chesterton is hunted down and shot.
Here is my reading-list for the next six weeks: The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
That Chuck Williams is my kind of guy.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Cross-literary platform cutting from the venerable T. Herman. Me likey.
Cross-literary platform cutting from the venerable T. Herman. Me likey.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Quote:
In the biz, we call those onion tears.
Quote:
This irrigation, performed by the able hands of Doc McGillicuddy, prevents my eyes, swollen as they are with a milky, bilious substance, from bursting in the cruel heat of summer, running down my face and pooling in my lap.
In the biz, we call those onion tears.
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Enjoy your evening tincture of Laudanum, Zweibel. Just know that the Prussians are ever on the march.
Enjoy your evening tincture of Laudanum, Zweibel. Just know that the Prussians are ever on the march.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
it seems a denuder would be automatically at odds with all thing erotic. i think we require some kind of renuder, or at least a nuder.
it seems a denuder would be automatically at odds with all thing erotic. i think we require some kind of renuder, or at least a nuder.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Actually, denude means to make nude.
What a country!
Actually, denude means to make nude.
What a country!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Quote:
What!?
No more of your flammatory rhetoric.
Quote:
denude means to make nude
What!?
No more of your flammatory rhetoric.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
he's right. Stone him!
he's right. Stone him!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Actually, denude means to make nude, until you are So Nude.
fixed.
Actually, denude means to make nude, until you are So Nude.
fixed.
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Until you are denudest you are ever beink
Until you are denudest you are ever beink
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And in Spanish nudo means knot and embarazada means pregnant, both of which lends to a great bilignual conversation if neither speaker is fluent in the other's language.
And in Spanish nudo means knot and embarazada means pregnant, both of which lends to a great bilignual conversation if neither speaker is fluent in the other's language.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
These are always great. "Gift" in German means poison.
These are always great. "Gift" in German means poison.
narenial
+0 -0
'Binbo' is Japanese for someone who has run out of money. I've heard that Americans visiting Japan like to ask college girls 'Are you binbo ?' and watch them nod. Stupid sport, really. I much prefer to confuse Americans by correcting their grammar as they speak.
'Binbo' is Japanese for someone who has run out of money. I've heard that Americans visiting Japan like to ask college girls 'Are you binbo ?' and watch them nod. Stupid sport, really. I much prefer to confuse Americans by correcting their grammar as they speak.
narenial
+0 -0
edit: note, binbo sounds awfully close to 'bimbo'.
edit: note, binbo sounds awfully close to 'bimbo'.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Even better, the "n" character in Japanese is quite frequently romanised to an "m" sound as well, despite no actual difference in the Japanese pronunciation.
Even better, the "n" character in Japanese is quite frequently romanised to an "m" sound as well, despite no actual difference in the Japanese pronunciation.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
so youre not american? even better.... [[ponders]]
so youre not american? even better.... [[ponders]]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ha! Creepy.
Ha! Creepy.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
thats one of my middle names......
thats one of my middle names......
nice-on-water
+0 -0
We're approaching the Kazenzakis 1 year anniversary, no? I'm guessing the official date is July 15th.
We're approaching the Kazenzakis 1 year anniversary, no? I'm guessing the official date is July 15th.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Cornelius is a Whore for Tobacco. This does not please me.
Cornelius is a Whore for Tobacco. This does not please me.
narenial
+0 -0
Is it all right, then, to be a Whore for White Wine but not a Whore for Tobacco?
Is it all right, then, to be a Whore for White Wine but not a Whore for Tobacco?
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I am a Whore for Clear Spirits. I'm not sure which is more preferable, I know of no Tobacco Whores who end up selling their babies for another ciggarette. Perhaps I'll see you in a gutter some time. Perhaps we can go on a trek to find the spirit of spinynorman.
I am a Whore for Clear Spirits. I'm not sure which is more preferable, I know of no Tobacco Whores who end up selling their babies for another ciggarette. Perhaps I'll see you in a gutter some time. Perhaps we can go on a trek to find the spirit of spinynorman.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
In his celestial palace, spinynorman is fattened upon grapes and wine by the attending Apsarasas, as he explains to the Sadhus the 10,000 mysteries of Creation.
In his celestial palace, spinynorman is fattened upon grapes and wine by the attending Apsarasas, as he explains to the Sadhus the 10,000 mysteries of Creation.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's Apsaras , nitwit.
Also, more accurately:
[IMGS OFF]
That's Apsaras , nitwit.
Also, more accurately:
[IMGS OFF]
howl
+0 -0
Guys I just chatted on Facebook with Chris Onstad. I feel like a special girl.
Guys I just chatted on Facebook with Chris Onstad. I feel like a special girl.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Chris she's 14 what the fuck i hope you were helping her out with geometry
Chris she's 14 what the fuck i hope you were helping her out with geometry
woodenteeth
+6 -1
Show us on the doll where he chatted with you...
Show us on the doll where he chatted with you...
wolfensti
+0 -0
Did he use a "proxy"
Did he use a "proxy"
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
sorry. this made me very sad.
sorry. this made me very sad.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
and so you lamed me...
fair enough.
and so you lamed me...
fair enough.
euphoric
+0 -0
so.... if you meet a chick on the internet in person... and she wants to give you a blowjob... how do you know she's not going to bite your penis? Maybe she is crazy?
so.... if you meet a chick on the internet in person... and she wants to give you a blowjob... how do you know she's not going to bite your penis? Maybe she is crazy?
rumblefish
+4 -0
This is why you would only mail her a fake penis at first and then examine it for bite marks once she returns it (using the postage paid envelope you provided of course...you are a gentleman after all).
This is why you would only mail her a fake penis at first and then examine it for bite marks once she returns it (using the postage paid envelope you provided of course...you are a gentleman after all).
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Maybe she will bite it. But maybe the guy who you met on the internet who wants to cut off your penis is actually a hot girl who wants to give you a blowjob. Sometimes that rat turd in your muesli turns out to be a raisin. I say take a chance. All you have to loose is your penis.
Maybe she will bite it. But maybe the guy who you met on the internet who wants to cut off your penis is actually a hot girl who wants to give you a blowjob. Sometimes that rat turd in your muesli turns out to be a raisin. I say take a chance. All you have to loose is your penis.
wolfensti
+0 -0
You know, it can't be so ba- AHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD SO MUCH BLOOD AAAAAA
You know, it can't be so ba- AHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD SO MUCH BLOOD AAAAAA
plummet
+0 -0
> You know, it can't be so bad
famous last words
> You know, it can't be so bad
famous last words
srikamaraja
+0 -0
To be fair, the word used was loose . Like, what you do with a large and dangerous animal to a sleepy rural community.
To be fair, the word used was loose . Like, what you do with a large and dangerous animal to a sleepy rural community.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
My heart goes out to Chuck Williams
My heart goes out to Chuck Williams
cailetshadow
+0 -0
The "Goodbye" at the end of the letter is a little eerie. It give me the distinct impression that Chuck Williams has sealed the envelope, put the mailbox flag up, and stepped off a chair with an extension cord around his neck.
The "Goodbye" at the end of the letter is a little eerie. It give me the distinct impression that Chuck Williams has sealed the envelope, put the mailbox flag up, and stepped off a chair with an extension cord around his neck.
octafish
+0 -0
Perhaps he does a Waring Hudsucker? 44 floors, not counting the mezzanine.
Perhaps he does a Waring Hudsucker? 44 floors, not counting the mezzanine.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Why have I still not watched that film...?
Why have I still not watched that film...?
rowboat
+0 -0
'Cause you're wrong.
'Cause you're wrong.
united
+0 -0
Narenial seems cool... almost... too cool. She might be undercover... She might be trying to infiltrate the Assetbar Motorcycle Club.
Narenial seems cool... almost... too cool. She might be undercover... She might be trying to infiltrate the Assetbar Motorcycle Club.
octafish
+0 -0
Is she a Narc? If you ask they gotta tell you if they are you know.
Is she a Narc? If you ask they gotta tell you if they are you know.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
(this is a lie.)
(this is a lie.)
i_love_kate
+2 -0
A lie possibly spread by narcs.
A lie possibly spread by narcs.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Does assetbar give an award for blowing people's minds? Why yes it does. Here is a chubby.
Does assetbar give an award for blowing people's minds? Why yes it does. Here is a chubby.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It is not a lie. They must immediately look downcast and trudge out of the room, busted, game lost.
It is not a lie. They must immediately look downcast and trudge out of the room, busted, game lost.
octafish
+0 -0
Yeah, I saw that on 21 Jump Street , or maybe it was Booker .
Yeah, I saw that on 21 Jump Street , or maybe it was Booker .
hatstand_mcq
+6 -0
'Are you a narc?'
'Damn! You got me. Game over. You win. We're still cool right? You're pretty sharp. I'm all tired out trying to fool you. Man, I could do with some weed. You couldn't help me out could you?'
'Yeah, sure, I can hook you... Wait! You nearly got me there you rascal!'
'Are you a narc?'
'Damn! You got me. Game over. You win. We're still cool right? You're pretty sharp. I'm all tired out trying to fool you. Man, I could do with some weed. You couldn't help me out could you?'
'Yeah, sure, I can hook you... Wait! You nearly got me there you rascal!'
narenial
+0 -0
On the contrary, sir or madam, your avatar clearly indicates you as one more likely to be undercover than I.
On the contrary, sir or madam, your avatar clearly indicates you as one more likely to be undercover than I.
narenial
+0 -0
Also, considering the turns toward the bedroom that my current conversations in assetbar have taken, I wish to notify to everyone that I am not a whore. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite -- whether you determine that to be a sign of me being a loser or a good person, is up to you.
Also, considering the turns toward the bedroom that my current conversations in assetbar have taken, I wish to notify to everyone that I am not a whore. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite -- whether you determine that to be a sign of me being a loser or a good person, is up to you.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
for all intents and purposes, everyone else on this board, minus you, is a pornbot, or some other figment of an imagination. dont even worry about what they think.
for all intents and purposes, everyone else on this board, minus you, is a pornbot, or some other figment of an imagination. dont even worry about what they think.
tekende
+1 -0
I'm the only real person here. I created all of you in order to stave off my own loneliness. The government is really mad about how I spent their grant money.
I'm the only real person here. I created all of you in order to stave off my own loneliness. The government is really mad about how I spent their grant money.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This is a far better premise than that which was approved for the Truman Show.
This is a far better premise than that which was approved for the Truman Show.
tekende
+0 -0
The Truman Show was a great movie.
The Truman Show was a great movie.
belgand
+0 -0
I feel that I ought to come clean and admit that I'm merely an expert system owned by the San Francisco Chamber of Commerce designed to astroturf in order to increase tourism. It's been a good run of detailing my existential issues as an artificial being of pure intellect and acting as a commercial shill to the audience of a comic that is vaguely associated with the region.
I feel that I ought to come clean and admit that I'm merely an expert system owned by the San Francisco Chamber of Commerce designed to astroturf in order to increase tourism. It's been a good run of detailing my existential issues as an artificial being of pure intellect and acting as a commercial shill to the audience of a comic that is vaguely associated with the region.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
well, you did make that place seem cooler, so they did their jobs well.
well, you did make that place seem cooler, so they did their jobs well.
cracklewater
+0 -0
What is the opposite of a whore, anyway?
A nun? One who pays sweaty johns for hasty, semi-public sex?
What is the opposite of a whore, anyway?
A nun? One who pays sweaty johns for hasty, semi-public sex?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Whore: Defines their identity exclusively by sex.
Not-whore: Does not include sex in their own identity at all for Developmental Reasons.
Do not expect me to submit a paper on this.
Whore: Defines their identity exclusively by sex.
Not-whore: Does not include sex in their own identity at all for Developmental Reasons.
Do not expect me to submit a paper on this.
stereo
+0 -0
So it's some sort of asexual business.
I am not sure what that means for my chances of hugs
So it's some sort of asexual business.
I am not sure what that means for my chances of hugs
plummet
+0 -0
your chances of hugs are far higher with so-called whores because you can pay them for such things. they are valuable members of society, much like politicians and policemen
your chances of hugs are far higher with so-called whores because you can pay them for such things. they are valuable members of society, much like politicians and policemen
woodenteeth
+0 -0
See, I deliberately did not say asexuality because I imagine a small group of people are born asexual.
I am not sure what this means for my chances of getting invited to the Annual Asexual Christmas Party.
See, I deliberately did not say asexuality because I imagine a small group of people are born asexual.
I am not sure what this means for my chances of getting invited to the Annual Asexual Christmas Party.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Every time you declare this I imagine it being said in the same way that Richard Nixon declares "I am not a crook". Jowls a-shakin', sweat a-poolin' on your upper lip...
Every time you declare this I imagine it being said in the same way that Richard Nixon declares "I am not a crook". Jowls a-shakin', sweat a-poolin' on your upper lip...
narenial
+0 -0
I ain't got jowls, brother. Thank God for that.
I ain't got jowls, brother. Thank God for that.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
everybody without jowls thanks God for that.
everybody without jowls thanks God for that.
tekende
+0 -0
Somewhere in this big, wide internet, there is a strange person with a fetish for girls with jowls.
Somewhere in this big, wide internet, there is a strange person with a fetish for girls with jowls.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well, the sub-set of fetishists into ye olde grannies, for instance.
well, the sub-set of fetishists into ye olde grannies, for instance.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Grannies from ye olde times would no longer have jowls. Mainly bony I would assume.
Grannies from ye olde times would no longer have jowls. Mainly bony I would assume.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it depends on who you ask.
it depends on who you ask.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he rushed the last one.
he rushed the last one.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
She would say that, wouldn't she
She would say that, wouldn't she
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
she would .
she would .
narenial
+0 -0
That's what she said.
. . . That's what sje said?
That's what she said.
. . . That's what sje said?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
well, the j key is quite close to the h key - oh shit! it all makes sense now!
well, the j key is quite close to the h key - oh shit! it all makes sense now!
soupykaty
+0 -0
Comment left by soupykaty ignored.
Comment left by soupykaty ignored.
bitches
+0 -0
A comment left by bitches was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, gingerbreadman, Scorpio_nadir, QuantumCasaba)
A comment left by bitches was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, gingerbreadman, Scorpio_nadir, QuantumCasaba)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
satisfaction!
man, what in the world.
satisfaction!
man, what in the world.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I am sorry, everyone, I could not lame this comment.
I am sorry, everyone, I could not lame this comment.
tekende
+0 -1
Good. It's funny and does not need to be lamed.
Good. It's funny and does not need to be lamed.
rowboat
+1 -0
He made many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. It is a fresh and original take on humor.
He made many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. It is a fresh and original take on humor.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
He's just a regular guy; what did you expect?
He has some cats.
He's just a regular guy; what did you expect?
He has some cats.
rowboat
+0 -0
Then he must be a faggot.
Then he must be a faggot.
narenial
+0 -0
Correction -- men with birds are more often of the homosexual lean than any other type of man.
Correction -- men with birds are more often of the homosexual lean than any other type of man.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
is that where the phrase 'gayer than a tree-full of birds' comes from?
is that where the phrase 'gayer than a tree-full of birds' comes from?
octafish
+1 -0
I've only gone out with birds, I must be gay.
(That reminds me of a work collegue who said when I announced I had to get home early from drinks to help my wife bath my daughter, "Yeah go home to your wife, you poof".)
I've only gone out with birds, I must be gay.
(That reminds me of a work collegue who said when I announced I had to get home early from drinks to help my wife bath my daughter, "Yeah go home to your wife, you poof".)
wolfensti
+0 -0
Octafish, seducing gay men without even wanting
Octafish, seducing gay men without even wanting
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fucking women is for fags.
Fucking women is for fags.
rowboat
+0 -0
So you are straight!
So you are straight!
belgand
+0 -0
No, he's English. It is a state between straight and gay that still includes tremendous opportunities for repression.
No, he's English. It is a state between straight and gay that still includes tremendous opportunities for repression.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Sounds like some wanker wants a row!
Sounds like some wanker wants a row!
rowboat
+0 -0
Gently down the stream, bitch.
Gently down the stream, bitch.
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
Oh, come now. That's funny, I don't care who you are.
Quote:
I AM LIKE YEAH DOG SHIT MSELLS BAD
AND SHE AGREED WITH ME
SHE SAID IT IS SCIENCE THAT DOG SHIT SMELLS BAD
AND SHE AGREED WITH ME
SHE SAID IT IS SCIENCE THAT DOG SHIT SMELLS BAD
Oh, come now. That's funny, I don't care who you are.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well maybe you should care who I am.
All I know is that it makes me pine for gladdi and that fact alone is seriously fucked up.
Well maybe you should care who I am.
All I know is that it makes me pine for gladdi and that fact alone is seriously fucked up.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no, THE ORIGINAL BESTEST SEDUCTION GUIDE BY DOCTOR OF LOVE DR. T. SANCHEZ is that way, though.
^two times doctor because he's full of muscles.^
no, THE ORIGINAL BESTEST SEDUCTION GUIDE BY DOCTOR OF LOVE DR. T. SANCHEZ is that way, though.
^two times doctor because he's full of muscles.^
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
quit stealing gladi's schtick. you ass .
quit stealing gladi's schtick. you ass .
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
dis is how it really is
dis is how it really is
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
%u0437%u0430%u043A%u043E%u0440%u0435%u043D%u0435%u043B%u043E%u0435 %u0434%u0435%u0440%u044C%u043C%u043E %u0433%u0430%u043D%u0433%u0441%u0442%u0435%u0440%u0430
%u0437%u0430%u043A%u043E%u0440%u0435%u043D%u0435%u043B%u043E%u0435 %u0434%u0435%u0440%u044C%u043C%u043E %u0433%u0430%u043D%u0433%u0441%u0442%u0435%u0440%u0430
carlyle
+0 -0
There are only so many things you can care about when you are almost a hundred.
A demographic is not one of them.
There are only so many things you can care about when you are almost a hundred.
A demographic is not one of them.
soticoto
+0 -0
P o i n t l e ss Marker.
P o i n t l e s
Comment left by mirabeau2 ignored.
Comment left by mirabeau3 ignored.
Two logins? If that is the best caper you can come up with, your idea factory is so old and busted that the work stations are undersized because it was designed in the days when having an 8 year old work 14 hours a day was not only legal, but it was considered doing them a favor.
The textile mills must be rubbed-down with great numbers of dogs daily, in-order their product remains unpalatable to the myriad Sea-creatures
...
I remember that from somewhere, but I can't find it. Where? Where?!
Imagine the contentment I felt when I logged into assetbar and mirabeau4 was already on my ignore list.
Indeed there is a higher power to thus spare me the ramblings of an imbecile.
Comment left by soupykaty ignored.
The Transatlantic Cable
Many things appear to show us that Mr. Onstad holds the canine in low regard, yet, at the same time one has also been repeatedly shown to share his domicile. Is he merely speaking of his beloved canis familiaris in a jokingly deprecating manner or was the housing of said beast a necessary pre-condition for him to continue to enjoy sexual relations?
My thoughts exactly. thank you for expressing them so succinctly.
I'm not at all certain that "succinct" is the correct adjective to describe belgand's post there.
"Succinct" almost never describes anything I speak or write. I suspect that "needlessly verbose" is the phrase you are looking for. I'd try to become less loquacious, but I somehow lack the ability.
SETHQUIPEDALIAN!
They took out some of my teeth today :(. Also, you are not sesquipedalian.
What an awful thing to say to a person.
To imply that one does not use long meaningless words is horrible?
It is one of the most horrible things you could say. You should probably apologize.
dont say so much big words dogg.
I'm sorry belgand, you magnificent sesquipedalian bastard!
What you do here is verbose. Only use "loquacious" when referring to excessive speech.
YOUR PEDANTICISM IS UNNECESSARY
The best and most entertaining people on Earth are "needlessly verbose". Thank you for being belgand.
Comment left by mirabeau4 ignored.
Nope, no difference. But, to the best of my knowledge, the Ignore User feature does not have a cap.
LET'S FIND OUT!
The speech patterns he uses makes him out to be trying to be The Great Villain, as though this were some city that we're trying to protect from the likes of him, and he's always working on a new dastardly scheme.
"YAHAHAHA! I'll get ye this time! Ye canna stop....THE CAPED BAD GUY OR SOMETHING!"
If this were, say, the Microsoft forums, I'd pay that. I'd shake his hand. Hell, I may give him a reacharound for his time spent.
But dude, this is Assetbar. That's like being a supervillain in Boise, Idaho. It's like being Kiteman, or Triangle Man, or The Spot, or Metalhead. Not even making it to the leagues of Boomerang Man. All wishing your plot could be foiled by a C-list superhero like Firestorm or Timberwolf, but the best you can get is a promotional hero for a phone company or a Christian superhero from a free evangelistic comic, all refusing to use violence and half the comic is him having a vision of the Stations of the Cross.
This ain't the big leagues, man. You're choking yourself here.
Triangle Man wasn't a villain. He was just misunderstood.
And he hates Particle Man.
In the film version it is absolutely necessary that he is played by Robert Mitchum. Death shall be no impediment to this great work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzFPSXj0yrs
It has been done, many years ago. (Play the music yourself from 0:11 - you know how YouTube is these days)
Should I have hyperlinked it properly? Yes. I should have.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzFPSXj0yrs
I commend you on your desire to educate the unknowing, but you address me as if I do not own a copy of Direct From Brooklyn on VHS. Truly a marvelous thing though I find that "Istanbul (Not Constantinople" was done better.
I was speaking more of the feature.
My TMBG-related knowledge is limited at best. I recall Tiny Toons as my only visual source.
I came to this party with almost no sauce.
They have some good videos.
Side note: "The Statue Got Me High," both the song and the video, have convinced me that the Johns are atheists.
A halfway decent version of it is conspicuously absent from the 'Tube, but the video for "Don't Let's Start" basically changed the course of my life forever.
This is the worst part
I don't get around like you get around
You have a new avatar and it confused me so badly.
[IMGS OFF]
Nice hat.
Dick
Oh my, just look at the time...
Well, rape is just a bit too much of love.
one out of two people enjoy rape.
Also false!
you do not get the joke?
I got the joke, unless it was a reference to something in which case I did not.
false!
The word "rape" and jokes revolving around that word are never funny.
But try telling me that.
I'm not sure what the point of this comment is, but okay.
Unless I'm mistaken for some reason Rowbox has previously related a rather terrible story of a personal acquaintance who was raped. In light of this it is entirely understandable that he would not find rape to be particularly funny; much as I assume that a person who has narrowly survived a trip to the super-secret ice cream shop or whose close friend requested extra sprinkles does not tend to enjoy Texas Chainsaw Massacre or jokes about serial killings.
All I meant is that rape is a bad thing but sometimes I have to smirk at goofy jokes that involve it, especially if it has to do with ghosts raping humans (and for anyone who thinks I'm referencing Robot Chicken, I want it to be known that my friends and I pioneered the Ghost Rape genre of humor long before that particular episode aired).
"Promotional hero for a phone company or a Christian superhero from a free evangelistic comic" - heh
I can see Willy Ames' Bibleman and Chad from Alltel kicking dude's ass.
Dude, Boomerang Man's real name was Quick Man and he resents you for getting it wrong as everyone does.
Also I used the word dude because my 24 hour wake fest caused hallucinations of crappy words in my fingers.
Dude, maybe I can get away with using horrible words also.
Hey dude, don't call me dude.
I'm not your dude, bro
Who are you calling bro, jackass?
I thought he was referring to Captain Boomerang, the Flash villan/Suicide Squad regular.
Yeah, that's the one.
Holy balls, I got two C- and D-list villain names wrong. This actually surprises me. Although I'm sure Triangle Man was....wait, no, I was thinking of Angle Man.
Oh well, my point got across.
Just so you know, Boise is the largest secluded metropolis area in the United States. So maybe next time you feel like dissin' the city of trees you'll take a step back.
Oh, sure, a metropolis, but a far cry from the Metropolis. ie: not the big leagues.
Really? Largest secluded metropolis? Huh. Bet their potatoes are great, too.
(Never thought I'd try and start a feud with a city in Idaho)
There are cities in Idaho ? You shit me not ?
The Shit-me-Not is their state flower.
For some reason I initially read this as claiming that Boise is the largest "secluded metaphor" in the US and settled in to read what would surely be a hilarious comment. My expectations were not met.
What the frick is a secluded metropolis anyway? Is Boise surrounded by a high, ivy-covered wall?
You're right. Rather than laming, why don't we move straight on to boning your mother.
So, in other words, skipping the foreplay?
But Ray likes that stuff!
:-(
you see, it's important not to rush it. that is the prevailing theme here.
^This was basically my thesis for a paper on the Federalist Papers...
Man moderation made my post nonsensical. Way to be effective, mods.
2 lames/minute is pretty impressive, you may want to go away.
Oh, first-posters. I am beyond caring about that vile, fair-weather demographic.
(I am not nearly one hundred years old, though.)
This renders you eligible for a lame, apparently.
Whippersnapper.
Damn middle aged assholes always snapping my whippers.
Wh...why is Hitler doing movements?
There is Assetbar in his pants.
"Hi, my name is Adolf and I am excited to tell you about Nazism !!"
[IMGS OFF]