billylk +20 -1
ALT TEXT: Ray assumes that graphic design usually takes about an hour.

songbirdspectre +6 -0
it's funny because when i read him saying "see you in an hour" i went..."that would take me at least 3."

aaron_haynes +37 -0
I find that three is a good general rule for gauging how long something will take. As in, they guess how long it will be, I explain that it would take three times long than that, and it ends up taking three times longer than that .

neonfreon +3 -1
so true. there should be some "famous man's rule" for this one.

rainwolfj +0 -0
Time is a really flexible thing, especially in graphic design, depending on skill, decision speed, and existing resources (T does a lot of work for Ray) it could be done in an hour maybe...

Fat chance, but maybe.

Besides, photo development only takes an hour!

cracker +17 -0
Hofstadter's Law:

It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

apocowarg +0 -0
Where are pages 2-4?

falseprophet +27 -0
You just keep flipping the same card over and over to get all the pages. It's a Mexican magical realism playing card.

cracklewater +3 -0
The front looks like of those 'ultra rare' hologram cards that are designed to make enthusiasts buy boxes of glittering card-packets.

griffypoo +0 -0
So wait, Teodor's Mexican now?

wonelove +0 -0
You obviously have no grasp on the magical realism of things hecho en Mexico.

soticoto +0 -0
His drawing board.

hellaedgar +0 -0
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ging +25 -1
I would just like Chris to know that I would totally buy reasonably priced cards like this.

closefriend +17 -0
Seconded, especially if even the obscure characters like Urtra Peanut, Nightlife, the Latino Health Crisis, and Albert the College-Educated Cat got cards.

afkpuz +0 -0
I can't remember Albert, can you link a strip?

(The neverending thirst for the achewood I might have missed.)

lateadopter +5 -0
Replacement Characters, November 27, 2001.

If you go to the original Achewood.com, you can search the text of all the strips, thanks to transcripts typed in by readers.

afkpuz +1 -0
Ah, should've thought of that. Thanks!

I feel Steven overshadows Albert in that strip, hence the failure of my memory. Such is the tragedy of stardom?

luckypyjamas +0 -0
near-stardom

andrew_ +2 -0
Moons over my Hammy? That's a really good one!

andrew_ +0 -2
and yes, I know that's not Albert.

solobuttons +1 -0
I would love to see the three pretentious cats (who watched Pat play the Day Tripper intro) on one card together.

nbgreene +1 -0
thats too cute not to mock up

zefiel +0 -0
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stuart +12 -0
this seems more like an Uncommon than a Rare

tekende +2 -0
Possibly all 3 are cock men. We really don't know.

bixschmix +1 -0
They maintain a healthily detached interest in pure aesthetics every all form.

alzuna +0 -0
Man, do you always have photoshop open when reading Achewood, just in case ? That is awesome.

I wish I had that much time on my hands.

soticoto +0 -0
Ultra Peanut is NOT obscure... just inconveniently cast aside for a while.

rawk5tar +1 -0
The extra 'p' is for 'pimp'.

jstegall +5 -0
I think it's strange that Teodor is right-handed, but his dominant eye is his left one.

toughasnails001 +1 -0
I am like that.

blueloggy +1 -0
Hey! I am like that too!

randombeing +1 -0
Flip that shit around, and it's me; all left hand/right eye.

le_chien_manquee +2 -0
jesus! so am i. i take it you guys have rolled up a bit of paper and looked through it to find your dominant eye? and didn't you feel fucking stupid doing it? but it was worth it. knowing your dominant eye is important, and being left eye dominant is cool. don't ask me why.

toughasnails001 +4 -0
Rolled up a bit of paper? All you need to do is take your hand and cover one eye at a time.

soticoto +2 -0
That coming from your avatar wins a Chubby.

mortshire +5 -0
so am i. probably because i went to a religious preschool where the 70-year-old teachers were still convinced that the left hand was "evil." they taped my dang fingers together.

scorpio_nadir +3 -0
How's that working out for you these days?

atticusonline +5 -0
I too, have a giant left eye and small shriveled right hand.

I have no idea what we're discussing.

soticoto +0 -0
Dominant Eye?

... I've got a funny feeling that both of my eyes are Co-Dominant... much like I'm technically ambidextrous (though I tend to do some things the right-handed way and other things the left-handed way).

tekende +1 -0
Well, aren't you special

soticoto +0 -0
I ride the short bus.
It dreams of having gothic arch windows, but instead has glowing lines on it in a most Tron like manner.

shoinan +1 -1
What a sweet gig for T!

And I'm glad someone else besides me, even if it's a fictitious cat, leaves the fridge door open when they're cooking

andrew_ +2 -0
CHILI -MELONS!

tekende +0 -0
What does that even mean , Ray?

rolotonybrowntown +15 -0
favorite weekend at bernie's movie:
weekend at bernie's 7: res-erection (currently filming)

methadone +3 -0
that's an awful thick baseball card

i guess T just couldn't settle one one or two jibs at ray

unaware +1 -0
For a $100 bucks, he wanted to give him his money's worth.

Although I think once he got started, he just couldn't stop at one page.

dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately +0 -0
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zefiel +0 -0
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dougthehead +2 -2
Quentin? Really?

rizzle +1 -0
I like the motion blur of Ray throwing down at McD's

duskbringer +5 -0
I think it's one of those lenticular cards
(It changes from McDonalds to Subway when you twist it sideways). Also, Onstad is a marketing genius.
Oh, and "hundo" is a lot better than "hunge". I will update my vocabulary accordingly.

stuart +4 -0
ray will pay him an Esperanto dog

duskbringer +0 -0
I only just got that.

skyliner +0 -0
Ray can't be seen for long in such a place as that.

natashamarie +0 -0
funny graphic design does take about an hour.

featurelessvoid +16 -0
Greenhouse emissions footprint, continued:
Leaves the Escalade idling in the parking lot while shopping at Whole Foods

lateadopter +14 -0
Parks like a bitch, going around the block for twenty minutes to get a spot right in front of the door.

evolume +4 -0
Flying around in frikkin' Airwolf, carrying extraneous cargo like Keith Moon's damn head in a damn jar.

kilroywashere +1 -0
Leaves the grill on for five hours to cook a single hamburger.

mr_pete +7 -0
Carbon Futures - Understands : "It's for sequestrating that shit in greenhouses like bubbles in Grande Cuvée."

Carbon Futures - Invests: Y

ntopp +2 -0
Maybe we're looking at the start of a small series of these, like with the decision-making flow charts?

lateadopter +2 -2
I think only Ray is foolish enough to let Teodor summarize his life in a 2.25 by 4 format.

randyjohnson +0 -0
but he would like to probably see it for all his friends
as a suprise

bacter +0 -0
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zefiel +0 -0
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dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately +0 -0
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zefiel +0 -2
A conversation about graphic design was just bound to happen on this strip. But anyway, I can't harsh him on that, since he does them on MS Paint. That in and out of itself is remarkable, but...

aelindil +0 -0
I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

atticusonline +0 -0
Bacter, for the love of God...download Photoshop.

riazm +0 -0
Ray hasn't had a date since 2002?

byronic +1 -0
I've been there. Thank god for the hoochie mamas.

byronic +9 -0
Leonard Cohen will write a six verse ballad praising Hootchie Mamas. It will mention apples, Adam and Eve, and camel toes.

professorriffs +0 -1
I think we coulda had a cooler run-down of Ray than that. Still rad though.

theoneyouwant +0 -0
this is gold.

nbgreene +3 -2
oh man i would have to buy so many packs of these cards hoping to get the super-rare platinum Cartiladge Head card individually numbered to 25

jackparsons +0 -0
They should do a special Magic The Gathering card for Ray.

lixivium +0 -0
Off topic, but does anyone know if the "God DAMN it what am I going to do about my problems" t-shirt ever been available for purchase?

I see that Onstad is reissuing "it is impossible to have a good day" and the "what the HELL" people shirt can still be bought. I wonder if I can get the third one from somewhere.

brokeaccount +3 -1
Blank t-shirt, marker pen and a steady hand my friend. These are your weapons in this world of incorrigible shit.

elvaquero +0 -0
i would love to see a - [front] WE ALL FOOLZ? [back]Hellz yes you all foolz - shirt

paperboy_2000 +2 -0
"Toppps! Playa Cards. The extra 'P' is for personality flaws!"

zedpower +0 -0
So... Ray's 21 years old. Though possibly older if he wasn't an ass man at birth. Is that the first clue regarding somebody's age? (Other than Philippe's, I mean.)

zefiel +0 -1
Ray can't possibly be 21. 1986 is around their time of their cateenage years.

zedpower +0 -0
Hmm, that's right, didn't think of that. (Though in my defense I have a hard time putting American pop culture references in their proper time frame. Being French-Canadian, a lot of these fly right over my head.)

zefiel +1 -1
I'm Mexican (never ever been to amerika), but then again, I'm also a geek.

zedpower +3 -0
Alright, I'll admit the "I'm a foreigner" thing is a pretty terrible excuse. It's still the only one I got, though.

jackparsons +0 -0
Any excuse for not knowing American pop culture is a fine excuse. I am appalled by how much I know about movie stars I've never seen in a movie.

neonfreon +0 -0
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evolume +8 -0
Aren't we all breast men at birth though? Don't think it counts.

le_chien_manquee +4 -1
i figured ray became an assman at puberty, putting him at about 34. or maybe i like this because i became an assman at 13 and i'm 34. why do i want to have things in common with a a cartoon cat? christ. i have to re-assess my values.

grayfox +0 -0
Of all the things Onstad has whored out to us for purchase, I think the Ray Smuckles card would be the first I would purchase. Unfortunately I doubt he could produce it do to TM concerns with Tpps.

thekerosenekid +2 -0
I think my last girlfriend had chili-melons.

I wish I could ever know for sure.

jar +1 -0
I thought Ray and Achewood in general were against hoochie mamas.

elvaquero +1 -0
no one is ever against hoochie mamas, deep at heart

gussiejives +1 -0
Ew... chili-melons gives me terrible visions.

luckyg +1 -0
Kind of a Cleveland Steamer idea?

gussiejives +1 -0
Exactly. I never really figured out the appeal of the Cleveland Steamer. Or why it's from Cleveland.

natashamarie +1 -0
Have you ever been to Cleveland? (If so, you'd know why)

euphemisms +1 -0
as fantastic as it is, this is a pleasant departure from the wedding story-arc. a quaint yet pleasing interlude.

wehavemagnums +1 -0
From this strip I took away the advice that one should never mix fruits and vegetables when concocting breast euphemisms.

phy +1 -0
Sounds like Ray jokes it away when anyone does a :(

drago25 +0 -0
That's it, I need Achewood trading cards.
Sure beats the hockey cards I'd collect as a kid.

xiaomimi +12 -0
Weekend Blogs

Molly: First Dance, Last Dance, and all the Dances Inbetween.

meowwwwwwwwwww +0 -0
Comment left by meowwwwwwwwwww ignored.