vorrishnikov
+6 -0
how long till todd realizes he's been swimming in his own pee all this time?
how long till todd realizes he's been swimming in his own pee all this time?
falseprophet
+5 -0
Swimming in pee... whose name was Lee .
Swimming in pee... whose name was Lee .
possums
+6 -0
I'm pretty sure Todd does that every day.
I'm pretty sure Todd does that every day.
octafish
+3 -0
Did you cry in your house Eagle?
Did you cry in your house Eagle?
narenial
+0 -0
It is the Saddest Thing.
It is the Saddest Thing.
possums
+0 -0
I cry everywhere, fish
I cry everywhere, fish
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He's a terror to koi carp the world over.
He's a terror to koi carp the world over.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
A little of his pee. A little of other people's pee. He likes to mix it up (the pee that is).
A little of his pee. A little of other people's pee. He likes to mix it up (the pee that is).
tekende
+2 -0
Don't cross the streams
Don't cross the streams
echidnaboy
+0 -0
An important point of urinal etiquette.
An important point of urinal etiquette.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Live by it, lest Todd help a guy beat you up.
Live by it, lest Todd help a guy beat you up.
urbanoutlaw
+0 -0
Why?
Why?
tekende
+0 -0
It would be...bad.
It would be...bad.
urbanoutlaw
+0 -0
I'm a little fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing, here. Whaddaya mean, bad?
I'm a little fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing, here. Whaddaya mean, bad?
mensch
+3 -2
An appropriate icon?
[IMGS OFF]
An appropriate icon?
[IMGS OFF]
doppelganger
+2 -0
An NEA Grant well spent.
An NEA Grant well spent.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Pee-Christ!
Pee-Christ!
plummet
+0 -0
Peezus Christ
Peezus Christ
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Jesus Pisst
Jesus Pisst
spectre
+0 -0
For an art show, I did the Nike symbol on transparent plastic secured in a jar of my piss. "Piss Swoosh".
I also had a "Nike Mutilation Station" where you could pound nails into Nike shoes.
I really did this.
For an art show, I did the Nike symbol on transparent plastic secured in a jar of my piss. "Piss Swoosh".
I also had a "Nike Mutilation Station" where you could pound nails into Nike shoes.
I really did this.
octafish
+0 -0
Well I liked the pun, and I kinda feel sorry for Serrano, fucking George Pell, so I gave you a chubby.
Well I liked the pun, and I kinda feel sorry for Serrano, fucking George Pell, so I gave you a chubby.
wtf
+0 -0
A comment left by wtf was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Troy_Convers, Methadone, kestral)
A comment left by wtf was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Troy_Convers, Methadone, kestral)
xi
+4 -0
Gross
Gross
drskradley
+0 -0
Coming from your avatar, that's saying something.
Coming from your avatar, that's saying something.
varnish
+5 -0
Todd Rising From the Urine.
Todd Rising From the Urine.
wozzeck
+1 -1
Alternatively, Piss Squirrel
Alternatively, Piss Squirrel
gormster
+1 -0
does anyone understand the meaning of ATH? It's not a TLA I'm familiar with... sounds like one of those TCP-based protocol commands but I've no idea which one.
does anyone understand the meaning of ATH? It's not a TLA I'm familiar with... sounds like one of those TCP-based protocol commands but I've no idea which one.
wtf
+66 -0
Three plus signs issued in rapid succession on just about any analog modem causes the modem to drop into command mode, where instead of passing on the information received from the local computer on to the remote modem, it instead interprets this information as commands. If the local computer subsequently issued the command "ATH" to the local modem, this would cause it to hang up, thereby disconnecting it from the remote modem. "EOF" would not to my knowledge be part of any modem command set, but this is a Mystical Realism Modem, so who knows. "EOF" means "End of File" and in the present Mystical context seems to signify finality.
Three plus signs issued in rapid succession on just about any analog modem causes the modem to drop into command mode, where instead of passing on the information received from the local computer on to the remote modem, it instead interprets this information as commands. If the local computer subsequently issued the command "ATH" to the local modem, this would cause it to hang up, thereby disconnecting it from the remote modem. "EOF" would not to my knowledge be part of any modem command set, but this is a Mystical Realism Modem, so who knows. "EOF" means "End of File" and in the present Mystical context seems to signify finality.
gormster
+0 -0
My goodness. Chubbies for you sir.
My goodness. Chubbies for you sir.
gormster
+2 -0
It is worth nothing that an EOF (not the characters 'EOF', but the control char \0) would cause a telnet session to terminate. Of course, sending this after the modem has hung up is probably pointless.
It is worth nothing that an EOF (not the characters 'EOF', but the control char \0) would cause a telnet session to terminate. Of course, sending this after the modem has hung up is probably pointless.
drskradley
+0 -0
Holy ballsacks. That was as epic as noticing old-style computer commands in relation to a comic strip about a squirrel swimming in his own pee transformed into a text-based adventure via North Korean Magical Realism can get. A chubby for you and yours.
Holy ballsacks. That was as epic as noticing old-style computer commands in relation to a comic strip about a squirrel swimming in his own pee transformed into a text-based adventure via North Korean Magical Realism can get. A chubby for you and yours.
wtf
+0 -0
wow I thought most people would know what the three plus signs mean. I figured most people would notice that right away. Now I feel kinda old. And nerdy.
I forgot to mention that there also needs to be a pause of a second or so during which no data is sent after the three plus signs as a safety for in case three plus signs just happened to be part of the data stream being sent.
I don't know if the three plus sign thing was always a part of the standard modem command set used by all modems, or if it was introduced later on, because I didn't start messing with computers until the late 80s. So I can't verify that it did exist back in the time of the Commodore PET. But it certainly might have.
In other news y'all have just given 40 chubbies to an account controlled by AIU. MUUUHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA.
*sigh* remember back when you could embed javascript into assetbar? Those were the days.
wow I thought most people would know what the three plus signs mean. I figured most people would notice that right away. Now I feel kinda old. And nerdy.
I forgot to mention that there also needs to be a pause of a second or so during which no data is sent after the three plus signs as a safety for in case three plus signs just happened to be part of the data stream being sent.
I don't know if the three plus sign thing was always a part of the standard modem command set used by all modems, or if it was introduced later on, because I didn't start messing with computers until the late 80s. So I can't verify that it did exist back in the time of the Commodore PET. But it certainly might have.
In other news y'all have just given 40 chubbies to an account controlled by AIU. MUUUHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA.
*sigh* remember back when you could embed javascript into assetbar? Those were the days.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
AIU: no one can reasonably dispute you are smart, very well-versed in old school skillz, and inclined to be kind when imparting your technical knowledge. That post deserved all the chubbies it's gotten!
AIU: no one can reasonably dispute you are smart, very well-versed in old school skillz, and inclined to be kind when imparting your technical knowledge. That post deserved all the chubbies it's gotten!
drskradley
+3 -0
If you do good posts, you get chubbies no matter who you are. It's not complicated.
If you do good posts, you get chubbies no matter who you are. It's not complicated.
drskradley
+0 -0
Well, except Asherdan apparently. There was a while there where it didn't matter what he said, he still got a massive flurry of lames as a cathartic judgement upon his very person.
More to the point, I personally figured it was you anyway. With a name like "wtf", a default picture, and being an old Female who's never posted before, it's kind of obvious.
I still didn't give a fuck, though. Good posts are appreciated. It's the way of the world.
Well, except Asherdan apparently. There was a while there where it didn't matter what he said, he still got a massive flurry of lames as a cathartic judgement upon his very person.
More to the point, I personally figured it was you anyway. With a name like "wtf", a default picture, and being an old Female who's never posted before, it's kind of obvious.
I still didn't give a fuck, though. Good posts are appreciated. It's the way of the world.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Agreed. If I can enjoy The Pianist and Chinatown despite their creator's obvious flaws, I have no standing to begrudge you some chubbiness.
Agreed. If I can enjoy The Pianist and Chinatown despite their creator's obvious flaws, I have no standing to begrudge you some chubbiness.
chico
+1 -0
What, just 'cause he's Polish?
What, just 'cause he's Polish?
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Quoi?
Quoi?
stereo
+0 -0
Mel Gibson is a hell of a movie writer but I don't hate jews!
Mel Gibson is a hell of a movie writer but I don't hate jews!
kill_the_usa
+0 -0
A comment left by kill_the_usa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, daidai, Troy_Convers, octafish)
A comment left by kill_the_usa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, daidai, Troy_Convers, octafish)
octafish
+0 -0
Well if you do that i for one will ignore you.
Well if you do that i for one will ignore you.
drskradley
+1 -0
Well, AIU, considering it's THE INTERNET, I wouldn't exactly believe him if he said he was Satan (who is different from the Anti-Christ you fucking eschatologically unsound cunthead! ) or anyone else notorious, for that matter.
But regardless - the anonymity of The Inter-Net, like many artforms*, provides the ability to be judged on the merit of your output purely within that medium, and not in your everyday life. So basically put:
If I don't know who they are or what they get up to in their everyday lives, then I can and will only judge them on their post merit.
In fact, fuck it - even if I DO know that they're baby-raping fascists, I'll still try to judge them on their post merit only. If I want to be optomistic, then perhaps it'd promote them to not be such an asshole "Hey! I can get good vibes from posting well! I don't have to oppress the working class or steal the innocence of young girls anymore - I get just as much of a high from good writing! Wow, thanks, Dr Skradley! "
*The internet is not an artform. You know what I'm saying.
Well, AIU, considering it's THE INTERNET, I wouldn't exactly believe him if he said he was Satan (who is different from the Anti-Christ you fucking eschatologically unsound cunthead! ) or anyone else notorious, for that matter.
But regardless - the anonymity of The Inter-Net, like many artforms*, provides the ability to be judged on the merit of your output purely within that medium, and not in your everyday life. So basically put:
If I don't know who they are or what they get up to in their everyday lives, then I can and will only judge them on their post merit.
In fact, fuck it - even if I DO know that they're baby-raping fascists, I'll still try to judge them on their post merit only. If I want to be optomistic, then perhaps it'd promote them to not be such an asshole "Hey! I can get good vibes from posting well! I don't have to oppress the working class or steal the innocence of young girls anymore - I get just as much of a high from good writing! Wow, thanks, Dr Skradley! "
*The internet is not an artform. You know what I'm saying.
drskradley
+0 -0
But that's only if I want to be optomistic, which is a bit of a drag I'll be honest.
But that's only if I want to be optomistic, which is a bit of a drag I'll be honest.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Quote:
Chubby for the beautiful juxtaposition of the urbane and profane.
Quote:
fucking eschatologically unsound cunthead!
Chubby for the beautiful juxtaposition of the urbane and profane.
kill_the_usa
+0 -1
so.... if Satan isn't the anti-christ... does this mean that AIU can be the anti-christ? cool!
so.... if Satan isn't the anti-christ... does this mean that AIU can be the anti-christ? cool!
drskradley
+1 -0
Has AIU accessed the temple in Jerusalem?
There are specific Prophecies that need to be held up before we can call Antichrist on someone. Baiting people on the small discussion forum of a webcomic in a small corner of the internet doesn't quite cut it yet. More effort than even Javascript is needed.
Besides, traditionally the Antichrist has a lot of followers who claim him (or her) to be the Messiah, thus using his appeal to secretly corrupt true believers and profane God. I would say a certain Anally Desirous Doctor would more likely fit that bill for the Assetbar Antichrist, but even he's not manipulative enough or motivated enough.
Has AIU accessed the temple in Jerusalem?
There are specific Prophecies that need to be held up before we can call Antichrist on someone. Baiting people on the small discussion forum of a webcomic in a small corner of the internet doesn't quite cut it yet. More effort than even Javascript is needed.
Besides, traditionally the Antichrist has a lot of followers who claim him (or her) to be the Messiah, thus using his appeal to secretly corrupt true believers and profane God. I would say a certain Anally Desirous Doctor would more likely fit that bill for the Assetbar Antichrist, but even he's not manipulative enough or motivated enough.
invidious
+0 -0
Quote:
I just pretty much assume everyone who's not me is controlled by AIU. It's kind of like being Roddy Piper in "They Live," only with fewer guns and more knees to the groin.
Quote:
In other news y'all have just given 40 chubbies to an account controlled by AIU. MUUUHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA.
I just pretty much assume everyone who's not me is controlled by AIU. It's kind of like being Roddy Piper in "They Live," only with fewer guns and more knees to the groin.
octafish
+0 -0
Careful, Invidious is all outa gum.
Careful, Invidious is all outa gum.
kill_the_usa
+0 -0
A comment left by kill_the_usa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Contrasoma, expellens, daidai, invidious, Troy_Convers, ep2, heckuba, octafish, shortside40, JimmyK, miaou)
A comment left by kill_the_usa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Contrasoma, expellens, daidai, invidious, Troy_Convers, ep2, heckuba, octafish, shortside40, JimmyK, miaou)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I think it's far more important that you couldn't post from one account and continually rake in chubbies. I wonder how this translates to your real life?
I think it's far more important that you couldn't post from one account and continually rake in chubbies. I wonder how this translates to your real life?
doppelganger
+0 -0
Us folks with numerous accounts gain satisfaction from our total chubby count. If you had two bank accounts of $600k each, you'd still be a millionaire. (btw, my total chubby county is > 3,000)
Also, don't label them "troll" accounts; sometimes I wish to speak with a different voice (think Stephen King/Richard Bachman).
Us folks with numerous accounts gain satisfaction from our total chubby count. If you had two bank accounts of $600k each, you'd still be a millionaire. (btw, my total chubby county is > 3,000)
Also, don't label them "troll" accounts; sometimes I wish to speak with a different voice (think Stephen King/Richard Bachman).
mensch
+0 -0
"count*
"count*
doppelganger
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You make a good point. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
You make a good point. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
salvar
+0 -0
That ain't no Marlboro cigarette between your lips.
Welcome to chubby county.
That ain't no Marlboro cigarette between your lips.
Welcome to chubby county.
plummet
+0 -0
chubby county tastes kinda salty
chubby county tastes kinda salty
wtf
+0 -0
whatdayamean translates to my real life? I'm not clear on what the subject of that sentence is. I'm not being flip, I'm simply confused.
whatdayamean translates to my real life? I'm not clear on what the subject of that sentence is. I'm not being flip, I'm simply confused.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
My anti-thesis! Fight!
My anti-thesis! Fight!
nonamejoe
+0 -0
I have no interest in this discussion, but the opposing avatars amuse me.
I have no interest in this discussion, but the opposing avatars amuse me.
faits
+0 -0
upon learning he cannot be the anti-christ, aiu settles for becoming the anti-woodenteeth
upon learning he cannot be the anti-christ, aiu settles for becoming the anti-woodenteeth
gingerbreadman
+20 -0
How about a haiku:
Rising from the piss,
Todd cries out for his lost friend,
sent to Distant Town.
How about a haiku:
Rising from the piss,
Todd cries out for his lost friend,
sent to Distant Town.
xi
+9 -0
Punishment comes swift
a single tear slides downscreen
there are no exits
Punishment comes swift
a single tear slides downscreen
there are no exits
daidai
+8 -2
The woman still balds
Her husband is gone now
we'll miss you Lee
The woman still balds
Her husband is gone now
we'll miss you Lee
fresco
+4 -1
Glorious Leader
Fails at chocolate consumption
I have... no regrets.
Glorious Leader
Fails at chocolate consumption
I have... no regrets.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Shitty little man
Meets Lee and finds compassion
Now changed forever
Shitty little man
Meets Lee and finds compassion
Now changed forever
epoc_jones
+0 -0
really should end with a question mark.
really should end with a question mark.
nonamejoe
+1 -0
Shitty little man
Meets Lee and finds compassion
With a question mark
I see your point.
Shitty little man
Meets Lee and finds compassion
With a question mark
I see your point.
epoc_jones
+1 -0
pardon me while i cover myself!
pardon me while i cover myself!
changuitotuerto
+0 -0
Piss Piss Piss Piss Piss P. Squirrel?
Piss Piss Piss Piss Piss P. Squirrel?
vermy
+0 -0
Which does, in fact, sound like a Tom Waits song.
Will we see this on your next album?
Which does, in fact, sound like a Tom Waits song.
Will we see this on your next album?
nice-on-water
+8 -0
::banjo plucked, scratching of piano strings, single tom thumped::
TODD...TODD...TODD...TODD...TODD...TEEEEEEEE SQUIR'L...RAAAAAAAAAAAAASING UP FROM THE YURRRRRRRRN...
::banjo plucked, scratching of piano strings, single tom thumped::
TODD...TODD...TODD...TODD...TODD...TEEEEEEEE SQUIR'L...RAAAAAAAAAAAAASING UP FROM THE YURRRRRRRRN...
vermy
+0 -0
If I had chubbies to give you'd get one, but in any case this is exactly what I had in mind. You've done me a kindness today, sir.
If I had chubbies to give you'd get one, but in any case this is exactly what I had in mind. You've done me a kindness today, sir.
vermy
+0 -0
(A kindness being worth about 1 1/2 favors and roughly 3 solids.)
(A kindness being worth about 1 1/2 favors and roughly 3 solids.)
majestictrout
+0 -0
Roughly, it all depends on the strength of the yen.
Roughly, it all depends on the strength of the yen.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It depends on strong, rough yen.
It depends on strong, rough yen.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Glad to be solid, happy to be kind, hip to be square. Still though, a solid is worth more than a favor? Seems counter intuitive to me.
Glad to be solid, happy to be kind, hip to be square. Still though, a solid is worth more than a favor? Seems counter intuitive to me.
firedmyass
+1 -0
Continuity is getting pretty complex. I eagerly anticipate Crisis on Infinite Piss-Earths .
Continuity is getting pretty complex. I eagerly anticipate Crisis on Infinite Piss-Earths .
wozzeck
+3 -1
There's a place where lovers go
To cry their disloyalty away
And they call it Distant Town
Where the broken hearts stay
(Distant town...)
There's a place where lovers go
To cry their disloyalty away
And they call it Distant Town
Where the broken hearts stay
(Distant town...)
octafish
+6 -0
Gotta make a move to a
Town that's right for me
Town to keep me movin'
Keep me groovin' with some energy
Well talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about moving...
Won't you take me to
Distant town
Gotta make a move to a
Town that's right for me
Town to keep me movin'
Keep me groovin' with some energy
Well talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about moving...
Won't you take me to
Distant town
daidai
+6 -0
What is Distant Town?
Distant Town is here
It's the town wherever people
learn to live in fear
So look around you've finally found
the place you asked about
For Distant Town is your town
if you're hopeless, down, and out
What is Distant Town?
Distant Town is here
It's the town wherever people
learn to live in fear
So look around you've finally found
the place you asked about
For Distant Town is your town
if you're hopeless, down, and out
dysphemism
+0 -0
Chubby for being clever in just so many ways.
Well, two.
Chubby for being clever in just so many ways.
Well, two.
noah_j
+3 -0
think distant town, a small city
It's dark, dark in the daytime
The people sleep, sleep in the daytime
If they want to, if they want to
think distant town, a small city
It's dark, dark in the daytime
The people sleep, sleep in the daytime
If they want to, if they want to
oingoboingirl
+0 -0
I see what you did there. And I love it.
I see what you did there. And I love it.
contrasoma
+5 -0
Well now, everything dies, Lee, that's a fact
And is buried with Il's revolutionary tract
Wipe your makeup off, let your dreams down
And meet me tonight in Distant Town
Well now, everything dies, Lee, that's a fact
And is buried with Il's revolutionary tract
Wipe your makeup off, let your dreams down
And meet me tonight in Distant Town
mr-siegal
+1 -0
One of my favourite lines...."I've got debts no honest man can pay."
One of my favourite lines...."I've got debts no honest man can pay."
awksedperl
+0 -0
I'm not much of a Springsteen fan but "Nebraska" is really good.
I'm not much of a Springsteen fan but "Nebraska" is really good.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
dude no.
the best (only good) thing about nebraska is that you don't have to pay attention to the highway until lincoln.
sorry, NE; i just hate you.
dude no.
the best (only good) thing about nebraska is that you don't have to pay attention to the highway until lincoln.
sorry, NE; i just hate you.
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
epoc_jones
+0 -0
right back at ya.
right back at ya.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I lived in Nebraska for literally the worst 10 months of my life. *shudder* I lived in Central City working overnights at the radio station there, and ended up moving a half-hour away to Grand Island, the third-largest city in the state (yet which no one has heard of), just to get away from the prying eyes of the human vultures in small-town Nebraska.
I lived in Nebraska for literally the worst 10 months of my life. *shudder* I lived in Central City working overnights at the radio station there, and ended up moving a half-hour away to Grand Island, the third-largest city in the state (yet which no one has heard of), just to get away from the prying eyes of the human vultures in small-town Nebraska.
patriot
+0 -0
are you sure you're not just schizophrenic?
are you sure you're not just schizophrenic?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Pretty sure. Never can be totally sure, though, can you?
Pretty sure. Never can be totally sure, though, can you?
deepomega
+0 -0
Disconsolation, thy name is Distant Town.
Disconsolation, thy name is Distant Town.
valorgigo
+0 -1
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
Godspeed, Lee. Godspeed.
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
Godspeed, Lee. Godspeed.
gormster
+6 -0
Goddammit, Assetbar. Goddammit.
Goddammit, Assetbar. Goddammit.
wtf
+1 -1
was that supposed to be an ascii penis?
........................_,-%/%|
...................._,-'....\//%\
................_,-'........\%/|%
.............././.)....__,--../%\
..............\__/_,-'%(%..;..%)%
......................%\%,...%\
........................'--%'.........
was that supposed to be an ascii penis?
........................_,-%/%|
...................._,-'....\//%\
................_,-'........\%/|%
.............././.)....__,--../%\
..............\__/_,-'%(%..;..%)%
......................%\%,...%\
........................'--%'.........
wtf
+15 -0
assetbar is basically Israeli Mystical Magical Realism.
assetbar is basically Israeli Mystical Magical Realism.
farqussus
+17 -0
what you have there is a pig head going into a wood chipper backwards.
what you have there is a pig head going into a wood chipper backwards.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Fuck me, I see it.
Fuck me, I see it.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Is that all it takes to get laid around here?
Is that all it takes to get laid around here?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is there a better way?
Is there a better way?
doktorkisses
+0 -0
At least I have always found that seeing a pig's head fed backwards into a wood chipper makes people extremely reluctant to reject my charming sexual advances.
At least I have always found that seeing a pig's head fed backwards into a wood chipper makes people extremely reluctant to reject my charming sexual advances.
farqussus
+0 -0
do I have to tell them I can see it? Is that where I'm going wrong? Just seeing it doesn't seem to cut it.
do I have to tell them I can see it? Is that where I'm going wrong? Just seeing it doesn't seem to cut it.
doktorkisses
+0 -0
Yes. The effect becomes more potent the more vivid your description. The ideal results are achieved by an actual demonstration; few things make people more pliant than a forceful illustration of a wood chipper's versatility.
Yes. The effect becomes more potent the more vivid your description. The ideal results are achieved by an actual demonstration; few things make people more pliant than a forceful illustration of a wood chipper's versatility.
wozzeck
+0 -1
Personally, I find that the first attempt at ASCII appears to be a van in the midst of breaking the 88mph time-barrier. Lord preserve us if Todd were to travel into History.
Personally, I find that the first attempt at ASCII appears to be a van in the midst of breaking the 88mph time-barrier. Lord preserve us if Todd were to travel into History.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
One p-p-p-oint t-twenty one g-g-gigawatts?
One p-p-p-oint t-twenty one g-g-gigawatts?
firedmyass
+0 -0
See me, I fuck it.
See me, I fuck it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
See me feel me touch me fuck me.
See me feel me touch me fuck me.
freudiandave
+1 -0
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.
rowboat
+2 -0
I wouldn't fuck you. I'd just fiddle about.
I wouldn't fuck you. I'd just fiddle about.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Strange as it seems his sexual dreams ain't quite so bad...
Strange as it seems his sexual dreams ain't quite so bad...
invidious
+0 -0
Freudian Dave presents "Today in 'Silence of the Lambs' history..."
Freudian Dave presents "Today in 'Silence of the Lambs' history..."
farqussus
+0 -0
erase him
erase him
valorgigo
+0 -0
Assetbar confirmed for being part of Ultraviolet Thunder's inner circle.
Assetbar confirmed for being part of Ultraviolet Thunder's inner circle.
orvel
+0 -0
Looks like assetbar FFFD this post.
Looks like assetbar FFFD this post.
plummet
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Lee was a TRUE BRO
[IMGS OFF]
Lee was a TRUE BRO
xi
+0 -0
A comment left by xi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, epoc_jones, mensch)
A comment left by xi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, epoc_jones, mensch)
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Heh, what?
Heh, what?
doppelganger
+1 -0
@ xi -- You're crazy if you think any of us will erase the modicum of hipster cred we've amassed by playing along with a lame Mike Meyers gag.
You are on the wrong board.
@ xi -- You're crazy if you think any of us will erase the modicum of hipster cred we've amassed by playing along with a lame Mike Meyers gag.
You are on the wrong board.
xi
+0 -0
I am adequately reprimanded. I'm sorry guys.
I am adequately reprimanded. I'm sorry guys.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Verklempt? Get your pseudo Yiddish vaguely right, now.
Verklempt? Get your pseudo Yiddish vaguely right, now.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is expression from Beverly Yidbillies...
Is expression from Beverly Yidbillies...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Get yourselves back here sometime, already, ya hear me?
Get yourselves back here sometime, already, ya hear me?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also: Clampett, not Clemp(?)
Also: Clampett, not Clemp(?)
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Jethro only gradjiated 3rd grade.
Jethro only gradjiated 3rd grade.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
3rd grade of Hebrew school.
3rd grade of Hebrew school.
aarongstock
+0 -0
Hah, verclampett...
Hah, verclampett...
thegoblins
+0 -0
Is he bald? I thought he had lotsa hair.
Is he bald? I thought he had lotsa hair.
spazdor
+1 -0
Anansi the lanky spidery trickster god.
Anansi the lanky spidery trickster god.
epoc_jones
+2 -0
how in hell did you fuck up that yiddish so hard?
Jesus' brother Bob wants to hit you. that crazy bastard.
how in hell did you fuck up that yiddish so hard?
Jesus' brother Bob wants to hit you. that crazy bastard.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Proof that she really was farklempt. If you can spell it, you ain't feelin' it!
Proof that she really was farklempt. If you can spell it, you ain't feelin' it!
snowman
+0 -0
chubbied for TMBG reference
chubbied for TMBG reference
epoc_jones
+0 -0
not for the 'Worms, though, eh?
not for the 'Worms, though, eh?
mockereo
+0 -0
carrot juice=murder
carrot juice=murder
aaron_haynes
+1 -0
Todd comes out to be the good guy in this storyline. You win again, universe.
Todd comes out to be the good guy in this storyline. You win again, universe.
falseprophet
+33 -0
The photograph is in my hand. Ten seconds from now it is slowly falling to the floor after the men grab my wrists after the men step through the doorway after the light from the outside blinds me temporarily after I hear the door begin to creak.
The photograph shows a man and a woman. The woman has a head of thick, full hair. The woman's stomach has not been distended by growth and life.
The photograph was taken at a time when I believed it was a good thing that the State would provide me a wife. It was taken seven months six days and five hours before we said "I do." Seven months six days and two hours before I looked at myself in the mirror and straightened my tux and looked at my own acne-ridden face for the last time as a single man and thought "In any other country I would die lonely" and shuddered that I had even allowed the concept of other countries to enter my mind.
The photograph is in my hand. The man and the woman do not smile. Do not frown. They look ahead, dignified, respectful, not at anything or anyone. They do not feel hatred for one another. They do not feel love for one another. They do not look at one another. It is the official documentation submitted as a record of their first date submitted along with completed Form 42B-Y6 rev. A.
The photograph is in my hand. It was taken seven months and six nights before I consummated with my wife. The existence of the female orgasm is not addressed by Form 42B-Y6 rev. A. It is neither confirmed nor denied. What is confirmed is that her breath quickened, her nails bit into my back, and we looked at each other both with desire and disbelief. For this, I thanked the State.
The photograph is in my hand. Ten seconds from now it is slowly falling to the floor after the men grab my wrists after the men step through the doorway after the light from the outside blinds me temporarily after I hear the door begin to creak.
The photograph shows a man and a woman. The woman has a head of thick, full hair. The woman's stomach has not been distended by growth and life.
The photograph was taken at a time when I believed it was a good thing that the State would provide me a wife. It was taken seven months six days and five hours before we said "I do." Seven months six days and two hours before I looked at myself in the mirror and straightened my tux and looked at my own acne-ridden face for the last time as a single man and thought "In any other country I would die lonely" and shuddered that I had even allowed the concept of other countries to enter my mind.
The photograph is in my hand. The man and the woman do not smile. Do not frown. They look ahead, dignified, respectful, not at anything or anyone. They do not feel hatred for one another. They do not feel love for one another. They do not look at one another. It is the official documentation submitted as a record of their first date submitted along with completed Form 42B-Y6 rev. A.
The photograph is in my hand. It was taken seven months and six nights before I consummated with my wife. The existence of the female orgasm is not addressed by Form 42B-Y6 rev. A. It is neither confirmed nor denied. What is confirmed is that her breath quickened, her nails bit into my back, and we looked at each other both with desire and disbelief. For this, I thanked the State.
primvirlaux
+1 -0
I always thought Moore is a bit overrated. I actually like ^^^ this much better.
I always thought Moore is a bit overrated. I actually like ^^^ this much better.
danielcrow
+0 -0
This sounds like Orwell. What is this?
This sounds like Orwell. What is this?
primvirlaux
+1 -0
https://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2009/10/3393491131_bfc0cb4d50_b.jpg
https://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2009/10/3393491131_bfc0cb4d50_b.jpg
falseprophet
+0 -0
The last panel always makes me start hearing "The Stars Are Projectors" by Modest Mouse in my head, which is not a bad song to hear in your head.
The last panel always makes me start hearing "The Stars Are Projectors" by Modest Mouse in my head, which is not a bad song to hear in your head.
azairborne
+0 -0
my iRemember constant internal mental playlist just changed songs... thanks. i was almost tired of carry me ohio by sun kil moon
my iRemember constant internal mental playlist just changed songs... thanks. i was almost tired of carry me ohio by sun kil moon
bluemoon72
+0 -0
You got good taste in internal grooves.
You got good taste in internal grooves.
epoc_jones
+2 -0
that...
is what she said .
that...
is what she said .
lateadopter
+0 -0
Or what a true gentleman would say to her, in the appropriate circumstance. Isn't that right, thegoblins?
Or what a true gentleman would say to her, in the appropriate circumstance. Isn't that right, thegoblins?
epoc_jones
+0 -0
me and gobs got History.
me and gobs got History.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
n' me and blue got another date Thursday next at the Iowa Machine Shed in Davenport. (itinerary forthcoming)
n' me and blue got another date Thursday next at the Iowa Machine Shed in Davenport. (itinerary forthcoming)
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Uh, NO, not after our last date. I'm not falling for that little routine again.
Uh, NO, not after our last date. I'm not falling for that little routine again.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
it was really your fault. you ordered the oysters.
it was really your fault. you ordered the oysters.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
It is impossible to get tired of Carry Me Ohio.
Except live.
Get a fucking band, Mark.
It is impossible to get tired of Carry Me Ohio.
Except live.
Get a fucking band, Mark.
octafish
+1 -0
I'm going to look at nude pictures of stars now.
I'm going to look at nude pictures of stars now.
invidious
+1 -0
Most of those are photo-shopped with a picture of the star on somebody else's galaxy.
Most of those are photo-shopped with a picture of the star on somebody else's galaxy.
octafish
+0 -0
All we ever see of stars are their old photographs, in some of them they are nude.
All we ever see of stars are their old photographs, in some of them they are nude.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I think this is the first time Todd has ever expressed compassion for anyone who wasn't just a crappy little squirrel like him.
I think this is the first time Todd has ever expressed compassion for anyone who wasn't just a crappy little squirrel like him.
morbo
+0 -0
great comic... one of the best.
great comic... one of the best.
echidnaboy
+2 -0
For some reason, I wasn't really diggin' this arc, but this strip... Guys, did- did Onstad just create a new artform?
For some reason, I wasn't really diggin' this arc, but this strip... Guys, did- did Onstad just create a new artform?
puguglypress
+0 -0
Yes he did! I've been saying this for weeks (about two strips)!
Yes he did! I've been saying this for weeks (about two strips)!
troy_convers
+0 -0
The style is nothing new; I remember Kevin O'Neill (he of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen fame) did something similar in a Future Shocks story for 2000ad magazine[i]way[i] back in the day.
The style is nothing new; I remember Kevin O'Neill (he of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen fame) did something similar in a Future Shocks story for 2000ad magazine[i]way[i] back in the day.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Sorry.
Sorry.
utv
+0 -0
I don't know why people seem to think this is a new medium. It's just a comic in which a lot of dialogue needs to happen, and one of the characters is a computer program. This format seems pretty logical.
Not sayin' it's not inventive, though.
I don't know why people seem to think this is a new medium. It's just a comic in which a lot of dialogue needs to happen, and one of the characters is a computer program. This format seems pretty logical.
Not sayin' it's not inventive, though.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
In reply to utv and Troy_Convers:
Sure, plenty of people have combined comics and prose, but I don't think I've ever seen the adventure game format used in comics befo- oh, wait .
I get the impression Onstad's more interested in prose than comics these days. I sometimes find it a bit tiresome when he keeps sitting his characters in front of a typewriter, but in this arc he found a really original and visually appealing way of shoehorning in huge blocks of text. It's been nice to see him write in a new voice, too. He has a real ear for the text adventure style. I hope he gets round to writing that Achewood game some day.
In reply to utv and Troy_Convers:
Sure, plenty of people have combined comics and prose, but I don't think I've ever seen the adventure game format used in comics befo- oh, wait .
I get the impression Onstad's more interested in prose than comics these days. I sometimes find it a bit tiresome when he keeps sitting his characters in front of a typewriter, but in this arc he found a really original and visually appealing way of shoehorning in huge blocks of text. It's been nice to see him write in a new voice, too. He has a real ear for the text adventure style. I hope he gets round to writing that Achewood game some day.
troy_convers
+0 -0
I think Onstad's itching to write a couple of books but feels guilty he'd have to desert his beloved Achewood. it's happened before when a writer/artist outgrows his creation (Frank Cho & Liberty Meadows #wistful look in eye# comes to mind), but hey, heart wnts what it wants Chris. the alternative is to do a Matt Groening and watch your baby slowly descend into senility as you wring every last penny from it.
You know what Matt Groening creation I'm on about...
I think Onstad's itching to write a couple of books but feels guilty he'd have to desert his beloved Achewood. it's happened before when a writer/artist outgrows his creation (Frank Cho & Liberty Meadows #wistful look in eye# comes to mind), but hey, heart wnts what it wants Chris. the alternative is to do a Matt Groening and watch your baby slowly descend into senility as you wring every last penny from it.
You know what Matt Groening creation I'm on about...
johnnyrocker
+1 -0
Life in Hell, of course.
Life in Hell, of course.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Doh!
Doh!
rowboat
+0 -0
But every penny he's wrung from it has been wonderful. That makes it OK.
But every penny he's wrung from it has been wonderful. That makes it OK.
you
+0 -0
So... Lee IS the program?
So... Lee IS the program?
octafish
+7 -0
He's not any kind of program, Sark. He's a User.
He's not any kind of program, Sark. He's a User.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
so if todd dies in text adventure..... he dies IRL, too?
so if todd dies in text adventure..... he dies IRL, too?
plummet
+0 -0
you die in the game you die for real
you die in the game you die for real
octafish
+0 -0
Allegra, what if we're not in the game anymore?
Allegra, what if we're not in the game anymore?
plummet
+0 -2
THE GAME
I lost it.
THE GAME
I lost it.
nice-on-water
+6 -0
I'm sure you can find it on Amazon for like eight bucks.
[IMGS OFF]
I'm sure you can find it on Amazon for like eight bucks.
[IMGS OFF]
troy_convers
+0 -0
"I'm sure you can find it on Amazon for like eight bucks."
Or in a junk shop for pennies. Bought a job lot of old Queen albums for 3 quid in a car boot sale once, great frisbees.
"I'm sure you can find it on Amazon for like eight bucks."
Or in a junk shop for pennies. Bought a job lot of old Queen albums for 3 quid in a car boot sale once, great frisbees.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I am conflicted by your great Britishness and your total distaste for Queen (instead your of distaste for some of Queen).
I am conflicted by your great Britishness and your total distaste for Queen (instead your of distaste for some of Queen).
thegoblins
+0 -0
I am of distaste for many things, but not for Queen. Also I'm totally going to ride around on my bicycle singing "The Game" for the next two hours. Thank you, internet.
I am of distaste for many things, but not for Queen. Also I'm totally going to ride around on my bicycle singing "The Game" for the next two hours. Thank you, internet.
troy_convers
+0 -0
In that case, I am going to ride around in my car with said album tied by a piece of string to the rear bumper. Sort of like a bizarro 'just married' thing.
Wonder how much will be left at the end..?
In that case, I am going to ride around in my car with said album tied by a piece of string to the rear bumper. Sort of like a bizarro 'just married' thing.
Wonder how much will be left at the end..?
thegoblins
+2 -0
You should chose a different album, one with Freddy Mercury's mustache on its cover. Then you can say you have a mustache ride. God please smite me now.
You should chose a different album, one with Freddy Mercury's mustache on its cover. Then you can say you have a mustache ride. God please smite me now.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If it's not "The Game" then my horrible pun above wouldn't have made sense, so "The Game" it must be.
If it's not "The Game" then my horrible pun above wouldn't have made sense, so "The Game" it must be.
sorry_chris
+0 -0
is your name a reference to thee goblins, or are you terrible?
nardwuar makes my heart sing.
is your name a reference to thee goblins, or are you terrible?
nardwuar makes my heart sing.
rowboat
+0 -0
Whatever it is, we know that she thinks about nothing but murder all day.
Whatever it is, we know that she thinks about nothing but murder all day.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
it's murder.
MASS MURDER.
it's murder.
MASS MURDER.
hatstand_mcq
+5 -0
If a man die
It is because death
Has first
Possessed his imagination.
William Carlos Williams - who I suspect must have been a really terrible doctor.
If a man die
It is because death
Has first
Possessed his imagination.
William Carlos Williams - who I suspect must have been a really terrible doctor.
dysphemism
+3 -0
All scribbling furiously about chickens next to a wheelbarrow while a small child lies dying.
All scribbling furiously about chickens next to a wheelbarrow while a small child lies dying.
shelbydavis
+4 -0
"There are thirteen ways of looking at a blackbird, but, dammit, I have no idea about that lump."
"There are thirteen ways of looking at a blackbird, but, dammit, I have no idea about that lump."
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
The body cannot live without the mind.
The body cannot live without the mind.
firedmyass
+1 -0
The how does one explain Billy Ray Cyrus?
The how does one explain Billy Ray Cyrus?
troy_convers
+0 -0
I have an idea for a reality show starring him...
I have an idea for a reality show starring him...
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
so his success was completely by accident?
so his success was completely by accident?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm bringing you up on incorrect correct preposition use.
I'm bringing you up on incorrect correct preposition use.
greenkoolayd
+2 -0
if i gave a rats ass, would you accept it?
if i gave a rats ass, would you accept it?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
This is my new favorite phrase.
This is my new favorite phrase.
cracklewater
+5 -0
According to the 'Strips Viewed' counter, this is the 1600th episode of Achewood. Sweet.
Come to think of it, since the eighth anniversary of Achewood was only a month or two back, that averages out to a little under 200 strips per year or just shy of four per week.
Even as one who is feels disappointment when there are only one or two updates per week, that's a pretty fine average.
According to the 'Strips Viewed' counter, this is the 1600th episode of Achewood. Sweet.
Come to think of it, since the eighth anniversary of Achewood was only a month or two back, that averages out to a little under 200 strips per year or just shy of four per week.
Even as one who is feels disappointment when there are only one or two updates per week, that's a pretty fine average.
narenial
+0 -0
Teodor is careful not to straighten too quickly in his new running shorts.
Teodor is careful not to straighten too quickly in his new running shorts.
drskradley
+0 -0
Meanwhile, it's good to see that Teodor has some reasonable legs now*: https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuadQdCGH
*Or again. I forget, really.
Meanwhile, it's good to see that Teodor has some reasonable legs now*: https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuadQdCGH
*Or again. I forget, really.
burningflowers
+0 -0
is it possible to extrapolate the diagonal scripts?
is it possible to extrapolate the diagonal scripts?
omegatron
+23 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
The doctors did the best they could I am so sorry
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
The doctors did the best they could I am so sorry
troy_convers
+0 -2
Er, no.
Er, no.
prolefeed5
+5 -0
Hold on... I don't think this is a complete failure. The second and third blurs are definitely reprints of the first paper feed panel where Todd says "like when you were just a k-k-kid?". I can't figure out what the first blur is... anyone else?
Hold on... I don't think this is a complete failure. The second and third blurs are definitely reprints of the first paper feed panel where Todd says "like when you were just a k-k-kid?". I can't figure out what the first blur is... anyone else?
cracklewater
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure the text in the first one is mirrored.
I can almost make it out...
I'm pretty sure the text in the first one is mirrored.
I can almost make it out...
prolefeed5
+2 -0
What do you mean by mirrored? For some reason I really want to figure this out...
Dear. God. I. Am. Not. A. Religious. Man. But. Please. Help. Me. See. The. Connection. Here.
What do you mean by mirrored? For some reason I really want to figure this out...
Dear. God. I. Am. Not. A. Religious. Man. But. Please. Help. Me. See. The. Connection. Here.
doppelganger
+4 -0
Here's what it says:
Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.
I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An' fellow mortal!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't.
Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's win's ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!
Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.
That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld.
But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e'e,
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!
Here's what it says:
Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.
I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An' fellow mortal!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't.
Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's win's ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!
Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.
That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld.
But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e'e,
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!
hateandwar
+0 -0
In Scotland, people have actual-ass dinners to remember the guy who wrote this. They eat haggis and recite his poetry and nobody cares that he sired a bunch of illegitimate children, as would be appropriate in Scotland.
In Scotland, people have actual-ass dinners to remember the guy who wrote this. They eat haggis and recite his poetry and nobody cares that he sired a bunch of illegitimate children, as would be appropriate in Scotland.
i_love_kate
+6 -0
That's appropriate everywhere. But especially when you're a Scottish poet, admittedly.
You are a Scottish Poet. There is a huge wealth of illegitimate offspring here.
>Sire that offspring
You are now a national hero.
That's appropriate everywhere. But especially when you're a Scottish poet, admittedly.
You are a Scottish Poet. There is a huge wealth of illegitimate offspring here.
>Sire that offspring
You are now a national hero.
octafish
+3 -0
Owe gie to me a shillin for some fags
And I'll pay yer back on Thursday.
But if you can wait till Saturday
I'm expecting a divvy from the
Harpenden Building Society.
Owe gie to me a shillin for some fags
And I'll pay yer back on Thursday.
But if you can wait till Saturday
I'm expecting a divvy from the
Harpenden Building Society.
doppelganger
+0 -0
Watching MP as a kid this joke was lost on me since (being from the US) I didn't know the stereotype about Scots being cheap.
Watching MP as a kid this joke was lost on me since (being from the US) I didn't know the stereotype about Scots being cheap.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
They have hella stereotypes, probably the only nation to be notorious for being dour and uptight, AS WELL AS being permanently angry and addicted to heroin.
They have hella stereotypes, probably the only nation to be notorious for being dour and uptight, AS WELL AS being permanently angry and addicted to heroin.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Shit. Wasted chubbies on damned William Carlos Williams gags and now I'm out for a C:DOS/Robert Burns quip.
Shit. Wasted chubbies on damned William Carlos Williams gags and now I'm out for a C:DOS/Robert Burns quip.
spazdor
+0 -0
Gotcha covered.
Gotcha covered.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
heh, "breastie".
heh, "breastie".
mensch
+0 -0
Not real sexy when it rhymes with "yeasty."
Not real sexy when it rhymes with "yeasty."
omegatron
+0 -0
"Mirrored"? It is clearly left-justified and top-to-bottom.
"Mirrored"? It is clearly left-justified and top-to-bottom.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Yep, you're rught about it being justified left-to-right. I could have sworn I was looking at reversed text. Guess I was squinting too hard.
Yep, you're rught about it being justified left-to-right. I could have sworn I was looking at reversed text. Guess I was squinting too hard.
stereo
+0 -0
That first one doesn't seem to be directly from any comic in this series, at least nothing that appeared as text already.
Just going by the "Word word, Argh I trippin' Argh." in the 2nd last paragraph, nothing remotely similar appears.
That first one doesn't seem to be directly from any comic in this series, at least nothing that appeared as text already.
Just going by the "Word word, Argh I trippin' Argh." in the 2nd last paragraph, nothing remotely similar appears.
shinkusan
+0 -0
Woah Woah Woah. Aren't there only 2 distorted parts in this comic? Where'd you get 3?
Woah Woah Woah. Aren't there only 2 distorted parts in this comic? Where'd you get 3?
stereo
+0 -0
2 of the 3 are the same part, just skewed differently.
2 of the 3 are the same part, just skewed differently.
omegatron
+0 -0
I actually tried like 4 different ways for each. Those are the most legible.
I actually tried like 4 different ways for each. Those are the most legible.
shinkusan
+0 -0
Ah cool. Got it now.
Ah cool. Got it now.
dusty
+4 -0
it says:
C:\> Fuck yeah, S-Stick it to the man!
It felt bad to do such a thing. But though I was assigned my family only two winters ago, I care for them. I know them rather intimately, in fact; I have made a very thorough study of their faces; I am happy when they are happy, and I am sad when they are overcast with care. Why, there is an old gentleman I see every day in the kitchen with whom I have practically struck a friendship.
C:\>huh, you live with a buncha random jagoffs?
They were good people. I had only the fear that I had not been lucky in acquiring a single acquaintance with a woman during the eight years I had been living there, perhaps the woman in my house, we called her who screams may have been the for that. But what did I want acquaintances for?
C:\>You went eight years with no p-poon?
There was a girl who I spoke to once. They accidentally dropped her iron ore to smelt for the week by my door. If I kept it she would not meet quota! I took it to her right away, and when I brought it to her she took it and smiled at me. My heart rejoiced! I saw a jar of peanut butter that no one had yet touched once, her skin was like that perfect surface, such was the beauty of Soo-Kyung. I couldn't speak to her, as I left I looked at the window but all to no purpose: it did not make me feel a bit better!
C:\>Woah! I've never seen a new jar of peanut butter, but she sound's f-fricken hot! Did you ever get her back to your place?
I never did, Todd, it was not to be. I made my plans to ask her to the prom. In my young excitement I asked him how he would ask a girl like Soo-Kyung to the prom. He was my strongest friend. But when I spoke to her it was too late. She was going to the prom with him.
it says:
C:\> Fuck yeah, S-Stick it to the man!
It felt bad to do such a thing. But though I was assigned my family only two winters ago, I care for them. I know them rather intimately, in fact; I have made a very thorough study of their faces; I am happy when they are happy, and I am sad when they are overcast with care. Why, there is an old gentleman I see every day in the kitchen with whom I have practically struck a friendship.
C:\>huh, you live with a buncha random jagoffs?
They were good people. I had only the fear that I had not been lucky in acquiring a single acquaintance with a woman during the eight years I had been living there, perhaps the woman in my house, we called her who screams may have been the for that. But what did I want acquaintances for?
C:\>You went eight years with no p-poon?
There was a girl who I spoke to once. They accidentally dropped her iron ore to smelt for the week by my door. If I kept it she would not meet quota! I took it to her right away, and when I brought it to her she took it and smiled at me. My heart rejoiced! I saw a jar of peanut butter that no one had yet touched once, her skin was like that perfect surface, such was the beauty of Soo-Kyung. I couldn't speak to her, as I left I looked at the window but all to no purpose: it did not make me feel a bit better!
C:\>Woah! I've never seen a new jar of peanut butter, but she sound's f-fricken hot! Did you ever get her back to your place?
I never did, Todd, it was not to be. I made my plans to ask her to the prom. In my young excitement I asked him how he would ask a girl like Soo-Kyung to the prom. He was my strongest friend. But when I spoke to her it was too late. She was going to the prom with him.
ashemon
+0 -0
The perspective of the paper confuses me.
The perspective of the paper confuses me.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I'm going to forgoe the usual assetchat and comment directly on the strip (as opposed to praising photobuggery and parroting memes). The artwork is absolutely jaw dropping today.
Well done Onstad.
I'm going to forgoe the usual assetchat and comment directly on the strip (as opposed to praising photobuggery and parroting memes). The artwork is absolutely jaw dropping today.
Well done Onstad.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
You must now report to the Distant Site.
You must now report to the Distant Site.
comrade_tom
+2 -0
C:/> F-f-f-fine Jerkwad, i'm at the distant site. what now?
C:/> F-f-f-fine Jerkwad, i'm at the distant site. what now?
wingspan
+2 -1
You must try to collect "Tiny cans of Dr Pepper" or something I guess.
You must try to collect "Tiny cans of Dr Pepper" or something I guess.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
C:/> Bitch abou' an o-o-obsolete an' unpop-p-p-pular achewood forum! Yeah do that!
C:/> Bitch abou' an o-o-obsolete an' unpop-p-p-pular achewood forum! Yeah do that!
spazdor
+0 -0
You are in a maze of twisty little encyclopedia entries, all alike! You can see a spherical jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces, above you and to the left, and is is present above you and to the left no matter where you go.
There are a dizzying multitude of exits, all of them incorrect.
You are in a maze of twisty little encyclopedia entries, all alike! You can see a spherical jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces, above you and to the left, and is is present above you and to the left no matter where you go.
There are a dizzying multitude of exits, all of them incorrect.
mensch
+8 -0
Quote:
[IMGS OFF]
Quote:
...opposed to praising photobuggery and parroting memes
[IMGS OFF]
lucidz
+0 -0
A comment left by lucidz was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sprkfv39, nice-on-water, rowboat, Johnnyrocker, Stonecrab, Troy_Convers, KingOfShell, mr-siegal)
A comment left by lucidz was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sprkfv39, nice-on-water, rowboat, Johnnyrocker, Stonecrab, Troy_Convers, KingOfShell, mr-siegal)
daidai
+17 -2
THANKS FOR THE COMMENT YOU COCK, CAN WE GET RID OF YOU SOMEHOW?
THANKS FOR THE COMMENT YOU COCK, CAN WE GET RID OF YOU SOMEHOW?
twoheadedboy
+1 -0
The Nice Pete avatar gave that extra gravity in my mind.
The Nice Pete avatar gave that extra gravity in my mind.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[high5]]
that was rad.
[[high5]]
that was rad.
featurelessvoid
+10 -0
C:\> WOW THANKS FOR THE NEW STRIP ONSTAD
It is dark in here, and you hear Grues approaching.
C:\> CAN WE GET 3 MORE THIS NOVEMBER?
The Grues, uncomfortable with the idea of frequent Achewood product, pelt you with lames.
*** You have died ***
You scored 12 of a possible 295 points, earning the rank of Bearer of Bad News
C:\> WOW THANKS FOR THE NEW STRIP ONSTAD
It is dark in here, and you hear Grues approaching.
C:\> CAN WE GET 3 MORE THIS NOVEMBER?
The Grues, uncomfortable with the idea of frequent Achewood product, pelt you with lames.
*** You have died ***
You scored 12 of a possible 295 points, earning the rank of Bearer of Bad News
plummet
+0 -0
C'mon Dai, Onstadt doesn't need you to defend him.
He can just shut down Assetbar any time he likes. THEN they'll be sorry. Oh, how sorry they'll be that they whined about not getting comics.
C'mon Dai, Onstadt doesn't need you to defend him.
He can just shut down Assetbar any time he likes. THEN they'll be sorry. Oh, how sorry they'll be that they whined about not getting comics.
doppelganger
+0 -0
I've seen it done. He shut it down to save his friend Tony Millionaire possible embarrassment, but opened it again once he realized that we would play nice.
I've seen it done. He shut it down to save his friend Tony Millionaire possible embarrassment, but opened it again once he realized that we would play nice.
plummet
+0 -0
There, you see?
The Onstadt Giveth, and the Onstadt taketh away.
[notice how I no longer complain about gaps between strips? Yeah.]
There, you see?
The Onstadt Giveth, and the Onstadt taketh away.
[notice how I no longer complain about gaps between strips? Yeah.]
srikamaraja
+0 -0
End of file. Lee will always be remembered as an honourable man.
End of file. Lee will always be remembered as an honourable man.
farqussus
+1 -0
Lee will not be remembered.
Lee will not be remembered.
mr-siegal
+2 -0
Lee who?
Lee who?
wazza
+0 -0
Y'know, Lee. That stripper we saw last week at the Red Herring Taco Club, with the Type 1 Osteogenesis Imperfecta and that one boob just a little lower than the other. I felt kind of sorry for her, especially when her boyfriend bust in there half-way through her act all "DAMMIT LEE", dragging her off the stage even though it was a four-foot fall in six inch stilettos.
How can you live with doing that, Farqussus?
Y'know, Lee. That stripper we saw last week at the Red Herring Taco Club, with the Type 1 Osteogenesis Imperfecta and that one boob just a little lower than the other. I felt kind of sorry for her, especially when her boyfriend bust in there half-way through her act all "DAMMIT LEE", dragging her off the stage even though it was a four-foot fall in six inch stilettos.
How can you live with doing that, Farqussus?
farqussus
+0 -0
drink
drink
featurelessvoid
+1 -1
If this strip is the end of the North Korean Magical Realism arc, it was a rather short arc, much shorter than the previous Lash of Thanatos arc. In other words, Kim Jong Il was easier to kill off than Cartilage Head.
Now that I think about it, Cartilage Head is basically the Rasputin of AcheVillains.
If this strip is the end of the North Korean Magical Realism arc, it was a rather short arc, much shorter than the previous Lash of Thanatos arc. In other words, Kim Jong Il was easier to kill off than Cartilage Head.
Now that I think about it, Cartilage Head is basically the Rasputin of AcheVillains.
octafish
+4 -0
Cartilage Head is the lover of the Russian Queen?
They put some poison into his wine?
Cartilage Head is Russia's greatest love machine?
He drank it all and said "I feel fine"?
Cartilage Head is the lover of the Russian Queen?
They put some poison into his wine?
Cartilage Head is Russia's greatest love machine?
He drank it all and said "I feel fine"?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He wanted to tell her that he loved her a lot so he got himself a belly full of wine?
He wanted to tell her that he loved her a lot so he got himself a belly full of wine?
comrade_tom
+1 -0
CAH CAH CAH CAH-tilage head!
Oh those crazy vaudevillians....
CAH CAH CAH CAH-tilage head!
Oh those crazy vaudevillians....
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Good night Miss Cahtilage where ever you are!
Good night Miss Cahtilage where ever you are!
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
I never really thought of Cartilage Head as a villain.
I never really thought of Cartilage Head as a villain.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Of course not. You think he's just eccentric, and maybe a bit of a tragic figure. He lulls you into a false sense of security. It's all part of his evil master plan.
Of course not. You think he's just eccentric, and maybe a bit of a tragic figure. He lulls you into a false sense of security. It's all part of his evil master plan.
firedmyass
+1 -0
Cartilage Head plucks strings the puppet does not know are there.
Cartilage Head plucks strings the puppet does not know are there.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I never really thought of Rasputin as a villain.
Unless Getting laid a lot and fuckin' up the Tsars shit are crimes.
Which they shouldn't be.
I never really thought of Rasputin as a villain.
Unless Getting laid a lot and fuckin' up the Tsars shit are crimes.
Which they shouldn't be.
wozzeck
+0 -1
So you are a Glenn Beck fan? The Assetbar Jr. Commissar Division will be having a word with you about that.
So you are a Glenn Beck fan? The Assetbar Jr. Commissar Division will be having a word with you about that.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I'm a fan of Glen Beck as a Mormon performance artist whose spot on deconstruction of cold war paranoia and anti-rockerfeller conspiracies never cease to provoke hilarity. Not really a fan of his politics though.
I also think the Romanovs were horrific rulers so anyone who helps aid and abet their downfall (in such a stylish, wine sozzled manner) deserves a plaudit.
I'm a fan of Glen Beck as a Mormon performance artist whose spot on deconstruction of cold war paranoia and anti-rockerfeller conspiracies never cease to provoke hilarity. Not really a fan of his politics though.
I also think the Romanovs were horrific rulers so anyone who helps aid and abet their downfall (in such a stylish, wine sozzled manner) deserves a plaudit.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Apologies there are two N's in Glenn, the second one is for nincompoop,
Apologies there are two N's in Glenn, the second one is for nincompoop,
wazza
+0 -0
I'm not sure Glenn Beck would be in favour of a guy who kind of set the scene for the Communist Revolution...
Dude would have totally been in the White army.
Oh, wait, he is.
I'm not sure Glenn Beck would be in favour of a guy who kind of set the scene for the Communist Revolution...
Dude would have totally been in the White army.
Oh, wait, he is.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
C:\> Todd, get back in there and rescue Lee goddamn it!
C:\> Todd, get back in there and rescue Lee goddamn it!
hbananaplus
+0 -0
C:\>Peel Out!
C:\>Peel Out!
octafish
+4 -0
You made me do it
I didn't want to do it
C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN
You made me do it
I didn't want to do it
C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Question, if I may: how are we supposed to read the Teodor strips alongside the script? Do we read the first two then go back to where the arrow is, then finish the script, then jump back? I feel like you can read the action panels first if you so desire then finish the script, in the same way the panels showing Lee's dialogue from the monitor can be read almost like stand-out quotes in a news article or magazine piece of some kind. Part of the flexibility of this format? I'm reluctant to say "Onstad's newly invented style."
Question, if I may: how are we supposed to read the Teodor strips alongside the script? Do we read the first two then go back to where the arrow is, then finish the script, then jump back? I feel like you can read the action panels first if you so desire then finish the script, in the same way the panels showing Lee's dialogue from the monitor can be read almost like stand-out quotes in a news article or magazine piece of some kind. Part of the flexibility of this format? I'm reluctant to say "Onstad's newly invented style."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Teodor panels*
Teodor panels*
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
I think, because the panels are meant to be occurring simultaneously, you can read them whenever you feel like.
That's what I think, anyways.
I think, because the panels are meant to be occurring simultaneously, you can read them whenever you feel like.
That's what I think, anyways.
omegatron
+1 -0
I don't know about you, but I read them using my eyes and my brain.
I don't know about you, but I read them using my eyes and my brain.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
WHOA WAIT A MINUTE THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! HA! HA! HA! I GUESS HUMOR REALLY IS OUR REACTION TO THE ABSURD!
WHOA WAIT A MINUTE THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! HA! HA! HA! I GUESS HUMOR REALLY IS OUR REACTION TO THE ABSURD!
rowboat
+0 -0
Contrary to the arrow, I believe that it makes more sense to read right to left there.
Contrary to the arrow, I believe that it makes more sense to read right to left there.
stereo
+0 -0
This comic took me to a place I'm not sure I like.
Is there some way I can press a button and free North Korea?
This comic took me to a place I'm not sure I like.
Is there some way I can press a button and free North Korea?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Todd's about to FIND OUT then pass out.
Todd's about to FIND OUT then pass out.
puguglypress
+0 -0
You could take the college student route and put up a xeroxed flier!
You could take the college student route and put up a xeroxed flier!
machineelf
+2 -0
Five'd for the ATH. That is old school. I like to think Onstad fired up his old IBM with Windows 3.11, created a BBS, telneted (that's right, it's a verb) into it, and disconnected, just so he could remember what the sequence looks like.
The Onstad in my head would rather have done that than read about it on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AT_command . The Onstad in my head has conviction .
Five'd for the ATH. That is old school. I like to think Onstad fired up his old IBM with Windows 3.11, created a BBS, telneted (that's right, it's a verb) into it, and disconnected, just so he could remember what the sequence looks like.
The Onstad in my head would rather have done that than read about it on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AT_command . The Onstad in my head has conviction .
harvestgold
+2 -0
Commodore PET
You Saved Me From Myself
Commodore PET
You Saved Me From Myself
jeffspaulding
+5 -0
She came over to see my PET, but she played with my Wang instead.
[IMGS OFF]
She came over to see my PET, but she played with my Wang instead.
[IMGS OFF]
jonno
+2 -0
He will forget Lee.
He will forget Lee.
puguglypress
+0 -0
By the next strip, probably.
By the next strip, probably.
historyandmetal
+0 -0
damn. onstad managed to take a fuck around arc written on the can at 3AM and then turn it in the last strip into something emotional and moving. best achewood in a damn while.
damn. onstad managed to take a fuck around arc written on the can at 3AM and then turn it in the last strip into something emotional and moving. best achewood in a damn while.
rowboat
+0 -0
That's what he's been doing for years. Where you been?
That's what he's been doing for years. Where you been?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
like aesop rock, caught in a bear trap.
like aesop rock, caught in a bear trap.
hbananaplus
+7 -0
It was cropped out of the original frame, but Teodor wasn't the only one in the room that reacted this way to Todd's sudden arrival:
[IMGS OFF]
It was cropped out of the original frame, but Teodor wasn't the only one in the room that reacted this way to Todd's sudden arrival:
[IMGS OFF]
professorhazard
+0 -0
I was under the impression that Teodor was covering his chubby little tits for some reason.
I was under the impression that Teodor was covering his chubby little tits for some reason.
goldhat
+1 -0
OutOfContext Quote:
OutOfContext Quote:
Teodor was covering his chubby
plummet
+0 -0
all two millimeters of it
all two millimeters of it
wazza
+0 -0
does it bother you that he is hung like a cranberry?
does it bother you that he is hung like a cranberry?
farqussus
+0 -0
That look on your face while talking of Teodor's chubby is broken.
That look on your face while talking of Teodor's chubby is broken.
kingofshell
+1 -0
One day the Lees of the world will be free. Until then, we can remember that this Lee lived. Oppressed, yes, but alive. Until the day that Lees can be Frees, remember this unlucky Lee.
One day the Lees of the world will be free. Until then, we can remember that this Lee lived. Oppressed, yes, but alive. Until the day that Lees can be Frees, remember this unlucky Lee.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Remember Lee... who was born in pee.
Remember Lee... who was born in pee.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Lee Sungjae has joined the group People Who Have Died . [courtesy notice]
Lee Sungjae has joined the group People Who Have Died . [courtesy notice]
homepie
+2 -0
It is a shameful thing about North Korea when talking to Todd can be a great and inspiring moment in your life.
It is a shameful thing about North Korea when talking to Todd can be a great and inspiring moment in your life.
melchior
+0 -0
I can only imagine what would have resulted had Lyle taken this trip instead. There would have been vomiting contests.
I can only imagine what would have resulted had Lyle taken this trip instead. There would have been vomiting contests.
ye_lens
+0 -0
is the noodles with tomato thing a reference to the august 19, 2005 strip or is that just me?
is the noodles with tomato thing a reference to the august 19, 2005 strip or is that just me?
epoc_jones
+0 -0
not a valid date.
not a valid date.
wtf
+0 -0
fuck sakes people!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08192005 /= https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08192005/
how many fucking times do people have to put a fucking trailing forward slash at the end of a URL when it's not supposed to be there!!!!
fuck sakes people!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08192005 /= https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08192005/
how many fucking times do people have to put a fucking trailing forward slash at the end of a URL when it's not supposed to be there!!!!
re5urgam
+0 -0
Did anyone else see this on achewood's twitter tweeting twoot page?
"Hey, please send me a link to a drawing of the female genitalia that looks inexplicably like a generous penguin." OK! https://bit.ly/1sBudO9
Did anyone else see this on achewood's twitter tweeting twoot page?
"Hey, please send me a link to a drawing of the female genitalia that looks inexplicably like a generous penguin." OK! https://bit.ly/1sBudO9
deusoma
+0 -0
Apparently a pufferfish ate your link?
Apparently a pufferfish ate your link?
epoc_jones
+0 -0
weird, huh?
weird, huh?
re5urgam
+0 -0
That's entirely unfortunate. You can find the desired image here . Apologies around.
That's entirely unfortunate. You can find the desired image here . Apologies around.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That no penguin I ever see.
That no penguin I ever see.
mensch
+0 -0
Not to be picky, but -- the paper depicted is "tractor-pull." This means that it is to be wound around the sprockets, not go in between (as drawn above).
Not to be picky, but -- the paper depicted is "tractor-pull." This means that it is to be wound around the sprockets, not go in between (as drawn above).
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Does that really not fall under your definiton of "picky?
Does that really not fall under your definiton of "picky?
i_love_kate
+2 -0
"
"
stereo
+0 -0
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, Deusoma, sprkfv39, falseprophet, Troy_Convers, octafish, mr-siegal, stopdropand)
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, Deusoma, sprkfv39, falseprophet, Troy_Convers, octafish, mr-siegal, stopdropand)
gladi8orrex
+6 -2
do not lame this
do not lame this
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Okay.
Okay.
stereo
+1 -0
If it helps, imagine each line in the voice of a different muppet.
If it helps, imagine each line in the voice of a different muppet.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
It worked fine until I got to Beaker.
It worked fine until I got to Beaker.
philophobe
+0 -0
Quick! Think of the Swedish Chef. Should fix you up right fast.
Quick! Think of the Swedish Chef. Should fix you up right fast.
jeffspaulding
+5 -0
How was it that he would end his intro? Ah yes:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
How was it that he would end his intro? Ah yes:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
troy_convers
+2 -0
Choobby tu yuoo, Mr Spooldeeng!
Choobby tu yuoo, Mr Spooldeeng!
smilebuddha
+4 -0
Not to disagree with the good Captain, but I think his general received pronunciation was something like:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Not to disagree with the good Captain, but I think his general received pronunciation was something like:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Ah! Too large! The eyes, they burn !
Ah! Too large! The eyes, they burn !
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
You are right - but at what cost?
You are right - but at what cost?
plummet
+0 -0
I chubbied both you and this
stay strong, assetbrother
I chubbied both you and this
stay strong, assetbrother
mensch
+11 -0
i miss miss bee
[IMGS OFF]
i miss miss bee
[IMGS OFF]
plummet
+1 -0
I love how you preemptively colored it green
I love how you preemptively colored it green
mensch
+0 -0
Actually, the background was to match my avatar. I wanted to make it clear that it was I (mensch) that misses Ms. Bee, not Rod.
Actually, the background was to match my avatar. I wanted to make it clear that it was I (mensch) that misses Ms. Bee, not Rod.
plummet
+0 -0
But you and Rod are the same person
But you and Rod are the same person
wazza
+0 -0
Just because they are intimately connected on regular occasions does not make them the same person
Just because they are intimately connected on regular occasions does not make them the same person
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Despite the hat, you look relatively unfazed by her absence.
Despite the hat, you look relatively unfazed by her absence.
mensch
+0 -0
I am getting misty behind my sunglasses as I peruse a printout of her past assetbar posts.
I am getting misty behind my sunglasses as I peruse a printout of her past assetbar posts.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Is the music classical?
Is the music classical?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
It is piano music.
It is piano music.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Hmmm. I do feel bad that I don't know very much about piano music.
Hmmm. I do feel bad that I don't know very much about piano music.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
... and then the bartender said "Do you think I asked the genie for a 12-inch pianist?"
... and then the bartender said "Do you think I asked the genie for a 12-inch pianist?"
missbee
+0 -0
D'aww!
D'aww!
wtf
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
a snake?
an alien?
[IMGS OFF]
a snake?
an alien?
octafish
+0 -0
The clue already given was that it has something to do with Kipling. I don't know what that might be, because I've never Kipled.
Looks more and more like Ganesha to me, or maybe Airavat, I guess with the Kipling connection it could be Hathi or Hathni?
The clue already given was that it has something to do with Kipling. I don't know what that might be, because I've never Kipled.
Looks more and more like Ganesha to me, or maybe Airavat, I guess with the Kipling connection it could be Hathi or Hathni?
octafish
+0 -0
I guess I'm saying, "Is it an elephant?"
I guess I'm saying, "Is it an elephant?"
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
I wish jo caulfield would shut the fuck up...
I wish jo caulfield would shut the fuck up...
jeffspaulding
+8 -0
Hold on, Caulfield?
Hold on, Caulfield?
gato_enfermo
+0 -0
It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.
It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.
doppelganger
+2 -1
Quote:
Being the "finest female comic" is like being the "best Islamic Rabbi"
Quote:
Jo Caulfield is %u201Cone of the finest female comics at work%u201D (The Observer)
Being the "finest female comic" is like being the "best Islamic Rabbi"
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Her recent edinburgh Fringe comedy show was entitled "Jo Caulfield won't shut up".
How does Glad know about this?
Her recent edinburgh Fringe comedy show was entitled "Jo Caulfield won't shut up".
How does Glad know about this?
echidnaboy
+3 -0
gladi8orrex totally loves BBC radio:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuadpV4kf#comment_101
Quote:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2w28WC#comment_74
Quote:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2w28WC#comment_254
Quote:
gladi8orrex totally loves BBC radio:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuadpV4kf#comment_101
Quote:
moral maze is interesting proigramme on BBC4 i highly recommend. verdi thotprovokin an' better yet can listen anywhere in world (with internet) via bbcradios iplayer. is so gr8
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2w28WC#comment_74
Quote:
i was listen to BBCworlservice cuppla days Ego...
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2w28WC#comment_254
Quote:
u so unimportant 2 me i dun needa focus
ur shit up there's like fuckin' circus
ur so not worth my time bitchey
i wrote all this shit listenin' 2 BBC
das right. moral maze str8 blarin' in ma ears as i str8 wreck your ass. *drops mic* fuck you
ur shit up there's like fuckin' circus
ur so not worth my time bitchey
i wrote all this shit listenin' 2 BBC
das right. moral maze str8 blarin' in ma ears as i str8 wreck your ass. *drops mic* fuck you
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Wow. Your knowledge of Glad's oeuvre is impressive.
To get near my oeuvre you'll have to buy me a few drinks.
Wow. Your knowledge of Glad's oeuvre is impressive.
To get near my oeuvre you'll have to buy me a few drinks.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yeah, who the fuck is jo caulfield anyhow...to not be shutting the fuck up...
Yeah, who the fuck is jo caulfield anyhow...to not be shutting the fuck up...
wtf
+1 -1
of mice and gods
okay mouses
listen up
time for discussion of your relationship with God Almighty
does you speak to God sometimes? Often? What does you talks about? Does he or she or it talks back?
Do you have more than one God that you communicates with?
Do you have multiple manifestations of a God that you speaks with? E.g. fater, son, holy pig goat, man bear pig, etc?
Is God with you when you are masturbasting?
Do you teach your children the importance of eating their own sperm and pussy juices because to kill the sperm down the drain is to murder unborn childrens?
I think best solution is for young boys to find a bitch to fuck because God intends for all sperms to go into a puspuspussy. This is why I don't see what the big deal is about female teachers fucking their students. Is the pro-life thing to do.
of mice and gods
okay mouses
listen up
time for discussion of your relationship with God Almighty
does you speak to God sometimes? Often? What does you talks about? Does he or she or it talks back?
Do you have more than one God that you communicates with?
Do you have multiple manifestations of a God that you speaks with? E.g. fater, son, holy pig goat, man bear pig, etc?
Is God with you when you are masturbasting?
Do you teach your children the importance of eating their own sperm and pussy juices because to kill the sperm down the drain is to murder unborn childrens?
I think best solution is for young boys to find a bitch to fuck because God intends for all sperms to go into a puspuspussy. This is why I don't see what the big deal is about female teachers fucking their students. Is the pro-life thing to do.
shut_up
+2 -2
I HATE
I HATE
just_shut_up
+2 -2
SO MUCH
SO MUCH
yousucksomuch
+2 -2
ABOUT THE
ABOUT THE
what_the_hell
+2 -2
THINGS THAT
THINGS THAT
iswrongwithyou
+2 -2
YOU CHOOSE
YOU CHOOSE
kiss_my_ass
+2 -2
TO BE
TO BE
wtf
+0 -0
who is this mysterious animated middle finger guy?? AMFG for short?
I want to eat his/her liver. with fries.
who is this mysterious animated middle finger guy?? AMFG for short?
I want to eat his/her liver. with fries.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
lol "find a bitch 2 fuck". classic. chuppied
lol "find a bitch 2 fuck". classic. chuppied
plummet
+0 -1
okay the novelty is wearing off a little
okay the novelty is wearing off a little
kiss_my_ass
+4 -2
harpo
+0 -0
harpo
+0 -0
harpo
+1 -0
harpo
+0 -0
harpo
+0 -0
harpo
+0 -0
chico
+3 -0
Its no use arguing with that guy -- He'll always have the upper hand.
Its no use arguing with that guy -- He'll always have the upper hand.
puguglypress
+0 -0
And the upper finger
And the upper finger
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Lee Sungjae had a dream. A household dream.
The sun has not made a note of his face.
Lee Sungjae had a dream. A household dream.
The sun has not made a note of his face.
wtf
+1 -0
a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" and the horse says "interrupting cow" and while the bartender is in the process of responding the horse makes a mental note of the desirability of ending the bartender's life in the coming "purge."
a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" and the horse says "interrupting cow" and while the bartender is in the process of responding the horse makes a mental note of the desirability of ending the bartender's life in the coming "purge."
prisonerx
+0 -0
WTF man, its uncool to steal someone's avatar.
WTF man, its uncool to steal someone's avatar.
buckmulligan
+0 -0
Yes, very.
Yes, very.
theiratejurk
+1 -0
Careful, identity theft is rampant on the internets.
Careful, identity theft is rampant on the internets.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Dammit...that was chub-worthy, AIU, and I'm outta chubs.
Dammit...that was chub-worthy, AIU, and I'm outta chubs.
clemenza
+0 -0
Stop this ID theft faggotry before people we care about get hurt.
Stop this ID theft faggotry before people we care about get hurt.
wtf
+0 -0
this is woodenteeth: [IMGS OFF]
...
and this is me:
[IMGS OFF]
okay... what part of this is so hard to understand? I am not stealing anyone's identity.
this is woodenteeth: [IMGS OFF]
...
and this is me:
[IMGS OFF]
okay... what part of this is so hard to understand? I am not stealing anyone's identity.
clamenza
+0 -0
And I thought they were both Jack Benny
And I thought they were both Jack Benny
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Ready ready ready...
MES!
Ready ready ready...
MES!
troy_convers
+0 -0
Oh no... the Mirror Universe.
And there's me without my goatee beard trimmer.
Oh no... the Mirror Universe.
And there's me without my goatee beard trimmer.
aelindil
+0 -0
Y'all still look like a dude I know and it still creeps me the hell out.
Y'all still look like a dude I know and it still creeps me the hell out.
mangtastic
+0 -0
The joke is that your icon belonged to "ford"
I get it!
The joke is that your icon belonged to "ford"
I get it!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Are you new? Four of those avatars are pilfered (from thegoblins, hamscout, theirateturk and ford, respectively). Bluemoon is legit (I think)
Are you new? Four of those avatars are pilfered (from thegoblins, hamscout, theirateturk and ford, respectively). Bluemoon is legit (I think)
groucho
+0 -0
Quote me as saying I was misquoted.
Quote me as saying I was misquoted.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Waitaminute - if he's you, and you're him, and goalpost head is her... Then who am I?!?
Waitaminute - if he's you, and you're him, and goalpost head is her... Then who am I?!?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Yep, it's still me. I think because I like him, and say nice things, he might leave my avicon alone?
Yep, it's still me. I think because I like him, and say nice things, he might leave my avicon alone?
patriot
+0 -0
no offense but I don't like your avatar it's too friendly or something so I just wouldn't want to post under it not even for the purpose of pretending to be you or whatever. Also your avatar is fairly nondescript, at least in my mind. It's ... like the new American money that employs certain graphical layout effects to force the viewer to somehow pay more attention so that counterfeits are easier to notice... whereas, an avatar of someone's face, as in the case of woodenteeth, that's much more suitable for counterfeiting. Does that make sense? I guess I can't fully put in words the full theory and sophistication of the troll mindset, only an approximation, but you get the general idea.
no offense but I don't like your avatar it's too friendly or something so I just wouldn't want to post under it not even for the purpose of pretending to be you or whatever. Also your avatar is fairly nondescript, at least in my mind. It's ... like the new American money that employs certain graphical layout effects to force the viewer to somehow pay more attention so that counterfeits are easier to notice... whereas, an avatar of someone's face, as in the case of woodenteeth, that's much more suitable for counterfeiting. Does that make sense? I guess I can't fully put in words the full theory and sophistication of the troll mindset, only an approximation, but you get the general idea.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Yeah, that all makes sense. Incidentally, it's a picture I drew at mrpicassohead.com. Visitors can use Picasso-esque face shapes to make Picasso-esque paintings, so I decided to not make a face at all and create a pretty little sailboat scene out of noses, lips, and eyebrows. So that's why it is what it is.
Yeah, that all makes sense. Incidentally, it's a picture I drew at mrpicassohead.com. Visitors can use Picasso-esque face shapes to make Picasso-esque paintings, so I decided to not make a face at all and create a pretty little sailboat scene out of noses, lips, and eyebrows. So that's why it is what it is.
mangtastic
+0 -0
I am not new, It's just that I usually do not read the comments on the more recent strips because it is not worth it to comb through hundreds of comments to find the dozen or so good ones.
I am not new, It's just that I usually do not read the comments on the more recent strips because it is not worth it to comb through hundreds of comments to find the dozen or so good ones.
rowboat
+0 -0
Set your lame limit to 3 and your chubby limit to 10. That should clean things up a little bit.
Set your lame limit to 3 and your chubby limit to 10. That should clean things up a little bit.
antimatter
+0 -0
Stately, plump Scout Finch . . .
Stately, plump Scout Finch . . .
plummet
+0 -0
What's cookin', good lookin?
What's cookin', good lookin?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I'm loving this shit way too much... ready... and post for mirrored mes! Mes! Everywhere! Utopia!
I'm loving this shit way too much... ready... and post for mirrored mes! Mes! Everywhere! Utopia!
wtf
+0 -0
« November 07, 2009 »
Achewood's latest Dark Horse anthology (Vol III) is now available for pre-order! If you're wondering where all the Achewood has been these last few weeks, it's been going into the book. I'm sorry, but the ketchup pump (me) only contains so much ketchup (red, sugary vigor).
.
.
.
amazon.. now that's a classy operation Chris.
« November 07, 2009 »
Achewood's latest Dark Horse anthology (Vol III) is now available for pre-order! If you're wondering where all the Achewood has been these last few weeks, it's been going into the book. I'm sorry, but the ketchup pump (me) only contains so much ketchup (red, sugary vigor).
.
.
.
amazon.. now that's a classy operation Chris.
chalibaeus
+0 -0
Don't forget to preorder your Glorious Kindling Box: Assetbar Edition for archived Achewood prose, comments and select recipes at your public transportation route stop of choice. Now available in Inknocrohm ®!
Don't forget to preorder your Glorious Kindling Box: Assetbar Edition for archived Achewood prose, comments and select recipes at your public transportation route stop of choice. Now available in Inknocrohm ®!
implode
+0 -0
So when did Todd turn Jewish?
So when did Todd turn Jewish?
dusty
+0 -0
He's just wearing his massive elementary school-computer style gray plastic headphones upside down to reach his squirrel ears.
He's just wearing his massive elementary school-computer style gray plastic headphones upside down to reach his squirrel ears.
octafish
+0 -0
You schmendrick.
You schmendrick.
patriot
+3 -1
today I need to talk to you about pretty Hispanic girls. Hispanic girls are hot. except for the ugly ones. Doesn't make sense that they could be so pretty, but also so ugly. mainly the really fat ones are ugly. also some of the super skinny ones that dress kinda slutty can be ugly. But I think the fat ones could be pretty if they weren't fat. You can't say that about white girls. Lots of fat white girls would be kinda plain and even ugly looking even if they weren't fat.
I guess if I was Hispanic maybe I would see some nuance between Hispanic girls but basically I don't and I want to fuck them all.
today I need to talk to you about pretty Hispanic girls. Hispanic girls are hot. except for the ugly ones. Doesn't make sense that they could be so pretty, but also so ugly. mainly the really fat ones are ugly. also some of the super skinny ones that dress kinda slutty can be ugly. But I think the fat ones could be pretty if they weren't fat. You can't say that about white girls. Lots of fat white girls would be kinda plain and even ugly looking even if they weren't fat.
I guess if I was Hispanic maybe I would see some nuance between Hispanic girls but basically I don't and I want to fuck them all.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Good point about fat white girls being ugly!
Good point about fat white girls being ugly!
lucidz
+1 -1
You know. I'm not going to keep bitching about how Onstad doesn't update any more, you people will just remark on the fact that its free... Look in the latest update people. "Go to the fanflow" "buy my book" Achewood (Free) is on the way out and this bullshit is becoming a pay site. I only check the site every few days and I'm about to check even less. What the fuck Onstad, seriously.
You know. I'm not going to keep bitching about how Onstad doesn't update any more, you people will just remark on the fact that its free... Look in the latest update people. "Go to the fanflow" "buy my book" Achewood (Free) is on the way out and this bullshit is becoming a pay site. I only check the site every few days and I'm about to check even less. What the fuck Onstad, seriously.
patriot
+0 -0
lets start an Achewood Pirate club!
lets start an Achewood Pirate club!
plummet
+0 -0
But we no longer need Onstadt.
Assetbar generates its own Achewood. See above for JeffSpaulding's Achewood A La Mode'.
But we no longer need Onstadt.
Assetbar generates its own Achewood. See above for JeffSpaulding's Achewood A La Mode'.
patriot
+0 -0
I say at the next book signing we all get together and kill onstand and we all eat some of his brains, then we will all be qualified to draw achewood strips.
I say at the next book signing we all get together and kill onstand and we all eat some of his brains, then we will all be qualified to draw achewood strips.
plummet
+0 -0
AH SO THAT IS THE SOURCE OF JEFFSPAULDING'S POWER
AH HA HA HA
AH SO THAT IS THE SOURCE OF JEFFSPAULDING'S POWER
AH HA HA HA
octafish
+0 -0
AH SEOUL!
AH SEOUL!
plummet
+0 -0
O CANADA
O CANADA
patriot
+1 -0
what is this shit! Someone is 419ing me from an iran domain name!!!! (.IR is Iran, not Iraq)
>Return-Path:
>X-Original-To: ---------------------------
>Delivered-To: ------------------------------
>Reply-To:
>From: "MINISTRY OF FINANCE - IRAQ"
>Subject: MINISTRY OF FINANCE - IRAQ CONTRACT SUPPLIES
>Date: Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:08:50 -0000
>To: undisclosed-recipients:;
>
>TO: President/CEO
>
>MINISTRY OF FINANCE - IRAQ, wishes to purchase different items that
>can help with the re-construction of
>our country. MINISTRY OF FINANCE is seeking for your co-operation in
>a multi million Dollars worth of contract
>supplies on various goods and equipments, 100% upfront payment for
>all supplies. We are interested in buying
>products from your esteemed organization for the Iraq Reconstruction
>Program. Should you be interested,
>please send your response to this email address (wahiddada00@iraq.ir)
>
>
>
>
>
what is this shit! Someone is 419ing me from an iran domain name!!!! (.IR is Iran, not Iraq)
>Return-Path:
>X-Original-To: ---------------------------
>Delivered-To: ------------------------------
>Reply-To:
>From: "MINISTRY OF FINANCE - IRAQ"
>Subject: MINISTRY OF FINANCE - IRAQ CONTRACT SUPPLIES
>Date: Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:08:50 -0000
>To: undisclosed-recipients:;
>
>
>
>MINISTRY OF FINANCE - IRAQ, wishes to purchase different items that
>can help with the re-construction of
>our country. MINISTRY OF FINANCE is seeking for your co-operation in
>a multi million Dollars worth of contract
>supplies on various goods and equipments, 100% upfront payment for
>all supplies. We are interested in buying
>products from your esteemed organization for the Iraq Reconstruction
>Program. Should you be interested,
>please send your response to this email address (wahiddada00@iraq.ir)
>
>
>
>
>
patriot
+0 -0
what the fuck... iraq.ir and iraqi.ir won't resolve! how the fuck can I e-mail them if their domains won't resolve!
what the fuck... iraq.ir and iraqi.ir won't resolve! how the fuck can I e-mail them if their domains won't resolve!
groucho
+0 -0
From whom did Todd expect to get a Beej in a tank?
UV Thunder?
From whom did Todd expect to get a Beej in a tank?
UV Thunder?
patriot
+0 -0
the fact that no one posts on assetbar anymore on Friday and Saturday nights is pretty indicative of the fact that assetbar has been taken over by a bunch of losers who have 9-5 jobs and get wasted on the weekends.
the fact that no one posts on assetbar anymore on Friday and Saturday nights is pretty indicative of the fact that assetbar has been taken over by a bunch of losers who have 9-5 jobs and get wasted on the weekends.
halfdirt
+0 -0
You, Patriot, are a ... winner? Thumbs up! (though in a condescending manner which you, as a winner, pick up on)
You, Patriot, are a ... winner? Thumbs up! (though in a condescending manner which you, as a winner, pick up on)
patriot
+0 -0
patriot
+0 -0
this blank comment brought to you courtesy of the douche who programmed assetbarista.
this blank comment brought to you courtesy of the douche who programmed assetbarista.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
i had a dream whers i was watching tv and an comedienne came on an it was jo caulfield doin' stand ups an i was like "o common plz not dis. i have never ever wanted to see dis. she is horrid" BUT she was funny (in teh dream) an made me bust guts which mada me fink she/her standups is better den her radio show so i will not b so hard on her form nah on.
i had a dream whers i was watching tv and an comedienne came on an it was jo caulfield doin' stand ups an i was like "o common plz not dis. i have never ever wanted to see dis. she is horrid" BUT she was funny (in teh dream) an made me bust guts which mada me fink she/her standups is better den her radio show so i will not b so hard on her form nah on.
patriot
+0 -0
I had a dream that my mom was a bitch. That's pretty much the only kind of dream I have about her. I stopped calling her lately. I know Gladi8orrex and others certainly advocate loving your mother and showing her respect and such, but dude....
some people are dicks to their children when they raise them, and sometimes it works out in the end and the kids go on to have healthy relationships with their parents even though their parents were assholes to them and these parents somewhat to totally failed their kids as parents... and then sometimes it ends up with the parents and/or the kids not wanting a hell of a lot to do with each other.
So that's pretty much where I am. I can't imagine in any way shape or form how me continuing to interact with my mom could be healthy or desirable. I could kinda sweep her insanity and her failings as a human being under the rug and interact with her for sentimental reasons, to be able to you know, learn the family history and blah blah blah, but I think, at some point, it becomes more important to put your foot down and insist, out of respect for everyone involved, on some sort of truth and reconciliation, as opposed to just ignoring the idiocy of the past and present. Sure, reconciliation is a two-way thing that would involve some sort of consensus, so that'll likely never happen, but you know what, fuck it, the bitch can die tomorrow or 20 years from now clinging onto her truth, her warped reality, her insanity, either way, I for one don't want anything to do with it.
I had a dream that my mom was a bitch. That's pretty much the only kind of dream I have about her. I stopped calling her lately. I know Gladi8orrex and others certainly advocate loving your mother and showing her respect and such, but dude....
some people are dicks to their children when they raise them, and sometimes it works out in the end and the kids go on to have healthy relationships with their parents even though their parents were assholes to them and these parents somewhat to totally failed their kids as parents... and then sometimes it ends up with the parents and/or the kids not wanting a hell of a lot to do with each other.
So that's pretty much where I am. I can't imagine in any way shape or form how me continuing to interact with my mom could be healthy or desirable. I could kinda sweep her insanity and her failings as a human being under the rug and interact with her for sentimental reasons, to be able to you know, learn the family history and blah blah blah, but I think, at some point, it becomes more important to put your foot down and insist, out of respect for everyone involved, on some sort of truth and reconciliation, as opposed to just ignoring the idiocy of the past and present. Sure, reconciliation is a two-way thing that would involve some sort of consensus, so that'll likely never happen, but you know what, fuck it, the bitch can die tomorrow or 20 years from now clinging onto her truth, her warped reality, her insanity, either way, I for one don't want anything to do with it.
patriot
+0 -0
oh well. it could be worse. I could have had a more normal mom and turned out like that russian kid Alex in New York.
oh well. it could be worse. I could have had a more normal mom and turned out like that russian kid Alex in New York.
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
i hopes u an ur moms can get along she is prob a special girl in world. maybe cut her sum slack for a bit c how it goes. she prob still luvs u. u r her baby
i hopes u an ur moms can get along she is prob a special girl in world. maybe cut her sum slack for a bit c how it goes. she prob still luvs u. u r her baby
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I dunno, I had to stop having any interactions with my mom for over two years, and somehow in there it must have sunk in that this was permanent without change. She got treatment for her mental illness and started meds, and we get along pretty well now. Could happen.
I dunno, I had to stop having any interactions with my mom for over two years, and somehow in there it must have sunk in that this was permanent without change. She got treatment for her mental illness and started meds, and we get along pretty well now. Could happen.
octafish
+0 -0
See! Stay on your meds AIU and it will all work out in the end.
See! Stay on your meds AIU and it will all work out in the end.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Meds don't usually help with Borderline.
Meds don't usually help with Borderline.
patriot
+0 -0
heh. woodenteeth is implying that I'm not completely nuts
heh. woodenteeth is implying that I'm not completely nuts
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You aren't.
You aren't.
halfdirt
+0 -0
New things, however, have also been going into the fanflow. Please give it a whirl! This week: catching up with Nice Pete, and Cornelius. Plus, a preview of the latest strip (due up Friday night.)
New things, however, have also been going into the fanflow. Please give it a whirl! This week: catching up with Nice Pete, and Cornelius. Plus, a preview of the latest strip (due up Friday night.)
halfdirt
+0 -0
I was just reliving the Philippe flowchart and other archive goodies... man there's some good stuff in the archives. Even if I wag my eyebrows in DISAPPROVAL of the rate of new materiale (french for material). I'm drunk. But you know what they say, wine before nine, something something . .
I was just reliving the Philippe flowchart and other archive goodies... man there's some good stuff in the archives. Even if I wag my eyebrows in DISAPPROVAL of the rate of new materiale (french for material). I'm drunk. But you know what they say, wine before nine, something something . .
machineelf
+0 -0
man, so your superpower is the ability to wag your eyebrows. do you get like mutant healing factor with that, or at least a bad-ass scar?
man, so your superpower is the ability to wag your eyebrows. do you get like mutant healing factor with that, or at least a bad-ass scar?
nice-on-water
+11 -0
Mr. Onstad told me to tell you Achewood won't come this evening but surely tomorrow.
[IMGS OFF]
Mr. Onstad told me to tell you Achewood won't come this evening but surely tomorrow.
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
Will you tell him you saw me?
Will you tell him you saw me?
halfdirt
+0 -0
Will you tell him we are married in an alternate reality?
Will you tell him we are married in an alternate reality?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
i just re-read that play for leisure the other night.
i sight-read Lucky's monologue in my senior lit class whilst standing on my chair, to much applause afterwards.
much more fun than freestyling Hamlet vs. Othello.
i just re-read that play for leisure the other night.
i sight-read Lucky's monologue in my senior lit class whilst standing on my chair, to much applause afterwards.
much more fun than freestyling Hamlet vs. Othello.
daidai
+0 -0
i read Lucky's monologue clad only in a tweed jacket in the streets of Charlotte.
I was not met with much applause
i read Lucky's monologue clad only in a tweed jacket in the streets of Charlotte.
I was not met with much applause
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"Only a tweed jacket" implies no pants, shoes etc. Please assuage my mind and tell me you had on some undergarments at least.
"Only a tweed jacket" implies no pants, shoes etc. Please assuage my mind and tell me you had on some undergarments at least.
ethelthefrog
+1 -0
I think the story is much better without undergarments.
I think the story is much better without undergarments.
daidai
+1 -0
That would be a misuse of the word "only"
That would be a misuse of the word "only"
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Point taken. You're a nudie.
Point taken. You're a nudie.
daidai
+0 -0
You forget the tweed jacket so soon?
You forget the tweed jacket so soon?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't subscribe to the idea that a jacket can make up for your dangling participles, so basically if I can see up from the thigh and below the nips (assuming your coat is open) then, yes, you're a nudie.
Basically the test goes:
are you wearing shoes?
-NO
socks?
-NO
you are most likely nude
I don't subscribe to the idea that a jacket can make up for your dangling participles, so basically if I can see up from the thigh and below the nips (assuming your coat is open) then, yes, you're a nudie.
Basically the test goes:
are you wearing shoes?
-NO
socks?
-NO
you are most likely nude
patriot
+0 -0
attention please am hrng someone to kll my mom. hrng preference gven to veterans. n other news the 'eye' key on my keyboard s havng a problem.
attention please am hrng someone to kll my mom. hrng preference gven to veterans. n other news the 'eye' key on my keyboard s havng a problem.
patriot
+0 -0
past experence not requred but s helpful
past experence not requred but s helpful
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
u go matress-side of tree
u go matress-side of tree
nice-on-water
+0 -0
gi iwiy
gi iwiy
re5urgam
+0 -0
It worked in "attention"
It worked in "attention"
halfdirt
+0 -0
I criticize because I LOVE
I criticize because I LOVE
autrepoupee
+1 -0
all right guys i'm carb'd up & ready for the next edition of Achewood-- talk about WOO, WOO!
**chugs 'G' fuel**
I'm running HOT on DIESEL, so give me some NEW COMIC MISADVENTURES!
**throws Polar Ice 'G' drink into trash as if a facsimile of basketball**
TWO POINTS FOR THE AUTREDOGG
Seriously though I wouldn't mind if I didn't just do this every few days in anticipation of new Achewood
(this was extended way to complain about the lack of constant c onstad tent)
all right guys i'm carb'd up & ready for the next edition of Achewood-- talk about WOO, WOO!
**chugs 'G' fuel**
I'm running HOT on DIESEL, so give me some NEW COMIC MISADVENTURES!
**throws Polar Ice 'G' drink into trash as if a facsimile of basketball**
TWO POINTS FOR THE AUTREDOGG
Seriously though I wouldn't mind if I didn't just do this every few days in anticipation of new Achewood
(this was extended way to complain about the lack of constant c onstad tent)
patriot
+0 -0
tl;dr
tl;dr
jackhuman
+0 -0
I remember the night I tried to drink Enough Whiskey.
I remember the night I tried to drink Enough Whiskey.
plummet
+0 -0
I'll bet a lot of people do
I'll bet a lot of people do
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
I'll bet they don't
I'll bet they don't
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I remember parts of the night I tried to drink Enough Rum.
I remember parts of the night I tried to drink Enough Rum.
halfdirt
+1 -0
OK time to discuss the new strip. I am adamant that I did not think the first three panels depicted animal genitals. You can't get me to admit otherwise.
OK time to discuss the new strip. I am adamant that I did not think the first three panels depicted animal genitals. You can't get me to admit otherwise.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
i thought it was either a poop or a sopository*.
i thought it was either a poop or a sopository*.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
also:
initially, T's mouth looked like a monkey's.
under closer inspection, he was only Michael Jordaning.
crisis averted.
also:
initially, T's mouth looked like a monkey's.
under closer inspection, he was only Michael Jordaning.
crisis averted.
octafish
+1 -0
The capo is high
Gurning his lead break
Always a solo
The capo is high
Gurning his lead break
Always a solo
spazdor
+0 -0
These are the Saddest Things.
These are the Saddest Things.
patriot
+0 -0
yes, at first I was saying to myself "hark, why do these genitals evoke so morose an emotion in my breast??"
yes, at first I was saying to myself "hark, why do these genitals evoke so morose an emotion in my breast??"
troy_convers
+0 -0
Have you noticed the strip doesn't have a title?
Or it makes you feel like wanting to slit your wrists, with your head in a noose, which will drop you through the trapdoor in to a bath with an electric fire in it, with the room the whole contraption is in filling up with Carbon Monoxide?
Or is that just me?
Have you noticed the strip doesn't have a title?
Or it makes you feel like wanting to slit your wrists, with your head in a noose, which will drop you through the trapdoor in to a bath with an electric fire in it, with the room the whole contraption is in filling up with Carbon Monoxide?
Or is that just me?
halfdirt
+0 -0
It's more life-affirming than reality's cold indifferent truth.
It's more life-affirming than reality's cold indifferent truth.
patriot
+0 -0
I get it now! Beef is in charge of Assetbar! This explains it!
I get it now! Beef is in charge of Assetbar! This explains it!
patriot
+1 -0
Beef, wake up! You have to create a new assetbar record. Onstad posted a new strip!
"oh nooo! Why'd he have to go and do that!?"
Beef, wake up! You have to create a new assetbar record. Onstad posted a new strip!
"oh nooo! Why'd he have to go and do that!?"
puguglypress
+0 -0
When did Beef become Mr. Bill?
When did Beef become Mr. Bill?
patriot
+0 -0
who?
who?
xi
+0 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
amoeba
+0 -0
The new strip gave me Depression, what can I do
The new strip gave me Depression, what can I do
patriot
+0 -0
kill yourself?
kill yourself?
help_onstad
+0 -0
Hey uh, this is Daidai and I need some help.
So I erased my coockies and whatnot and realized that apparently the password to my account is not what I thought it was. So I did the whole "send password to email" thing, and I haven't received an email.
Is that function broken? How the hell else can I get this password back?
Thanks
-Daidai
Hey uh, this is Daidai and I need some help.
So I erased my coockies and whatnot and realized that apparently the password to my account is not what I thought it was. So I did the whole "send password to email" thing, and I haven't received an email.
Is that function broken? How the hell else can I get this password back?
Thanks
-Daidai
thing
+0 -0
one can tell this is actually daidai by the fact that "cookies" was misspelled
one can tell this is actually daidai by the fact that "cookies" was misspelled
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
his inner self was struggling to write "cock", yet was unable due to the importance of asking Onstad for help.
For now, coockies shall suffice.
his inner self was struggling to write "cock", yet was unable due to the importance of asking Onstad for help.
For now, coockies shall suffice.
plummet
+0 -0
OH HO HO HO
You cast aspersions on Dai's sexuality! You are implying he enjoys stiff penises in his hands and mouth and possibly his butt!
Ohohohohoh! Oho! Oh, the shenanigans!
OH HO HO HO
You cast aspersions on Dai's sexuality! You are implying he enjoys stiff penises in his hands and mouth and possibly his butt!
Ohohohohoh! Oho! Oh, the shenanigans!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Never be a coockie to a stranger
Never be a coockie to a stranger
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
patriot
+0 -0
hi daidai, AIU here.
I did some experimentation and apparently due to having two accounts with the same e-mail address, I found that one account's password reset would work, but the other one's gave in error the error "The username and email address you provided do not correspond to the same account." Or maybe the problem is that assetbar saved a line feed as part of the e-mail address because I cut 'n pasted it, or who knows what. In any case, yes, the problem might well be assetbar and not you.
If you're getting the message "Your password has been mailed to your email address." but you're not receiving anything, then probably assetbar is sending the e-mail to you, but it's getting blocked by your ISP's spam filter.
hi daidai, AIU here.
I did some experimentation and apparently due to having two accounts with the same e-mail address, I found that one account's password reset would work, but the other one's gave in error the error "The username and email address you provided do not correspond to the same account." Or maybe the problem is that assetbar saved a line feed as part of the e-mail address because I cut 'n pasted it, or who knows what. In any case, yes, the problem might well be assetbar and not you.
If you're getting the message "Your password has been mailed to your email address." but you're not receiving anything, then probably assetbar is sending the e-mail to you, but it's getting blocked by your ISP's spam filter.
patriot
+0 -0
yeah, further testing confirms that assetbar will barf on the password reset if two or more accounts have the same e-mail address.
also, it's interesting to note that if you double-click the submit button, or even if you submit as quickly as possible two different forms, each from different tabs, for the same account, you receive two different e-mails with the same password. unfortunately this does not work if you quasi-concurrently submit a reset for two different accounts. Still, it suggests that the method for creating the random password may have some significant flaws that could be exploited. the password gets set to an 8 digit hexadecimal number.
yeah, further testing confirms that assetbar will barf on the password reset if two or more accounts have the same e-mail address.
also, it's interesting to note that if you double-click the submit button, or even if you submit as quickly as possible two different forms, each from different tabs, for the same account, you receive two different e-mails with the same password. unfortunately this does not work if you quasi-concurrently submit a reset for two different accounts. Still, it suggests that the method for creating the random password may have some significant flaws that could be exploited. the password gets set to an 8 digit hexadecimal number.
epoc_jones
+0 -0
or maybe there's only ONE pw reset hex and it doesn't get passed to a requestor until the person before them uses it.
(that would be silly.)
or maybe there's only ONE pw reset hex and it doesn't get passed to a requestor until the person before them uses it.
(that would be silly.)
halfdirt
+0 -0
The writer has disabled comments on the current comic because he is afraid of random people criticising him for not updating. We wield the blade of fallen empires, fellow commenters!
The writer has disabled comments on the current comic because he is afraid of random people criticising him for not updating. We wield the blade of fallen empires, fellow commenters!
ike
+0 -0
Everyday I weep a single tear for the unwritten Achewoods of the world.
Everyday I weep a single tear for the unwritten Achewoods of the world.
patriot
+0 -0
more likely he hasn't bothered to do whatever technical idiocy needs doing to get assetbar to work because he just doesn't give a fuck and/or he's tired of tangling with assetbar's technical idiocy.
more likely he hasn't bothered to do whatever technical idiocy needs doing to get assetbar to work because he just doesn't give a fuck and/or he's tired of tangling with assetbar's technical idiocy.
expellens
+0 -2
Connie is such a bad ass, he has even planned ahead on the moment of his death such that he don't wonk his head on the table all ungentleman-like.
Connie is such a bad ass, he has even planned ahead on the moment of his death such that he don't wonk his head on the table all ungentleman-like.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Man I bet Cornelius regrets ever winning those goddamn games
Man I bet Cornelius regrets ever winning those goddamn games
ike
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
So I'm really feeling that last panel.
So I'm really feeling that last panel.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
He gets with the ladies but in the end they do not like him.
He gets with the ladies but in the end they do not like him.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
He got with Miss Lady but he never liked himself or could even accept why she did.
The end.
He got with Miss Lady but he never liked himself or could even accept why she did.
The end.
hamscout
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mattylite
+5 -0
If you put the lotion in the basket, turn to page 36.
If you get the hose, turn to page 97.
If you put the lotion in the basket, turn to page 36.
If you get the hose, turn to page 97.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I could have done with some breakfast wine this morning. As it was I had to cobble together a makeshift shandygaff out of left over lager and Tesco value lemonade. Someone was being noisily sick in the lavatory. A Polish girl, who lived in the building but whom I had not seen the night before, was preparing couscous over a baby-belling. I told her that the bare trees of winter always make me perceptibly more melancholy. She said that the lack of leaves allowed the blue sky to shine through. I twisted my face into a crude approximation of a smile, but deep down I wanted her to die.
I could have done with some breakfast wine this morning. As it was I had to cobble together a makeshift shandygaff out of left over lager and Tesco value lemonade. Someone was being noisily sick in the lavatory. A Polish girl, who lived in the building but whom I had not seen the night before, was preparing couscous over a baby-belling. I told her that the bare trees of winter always make me perceptibly more melancholy. She said that the lack of leaves allowed the blue sky to shine through. I twisted my face into a crude approximation of a smile, but deep down I wanted her to die.
rowboat
+0 -1
Onstad's all "What's that? You want a new comic, you bitchy motherfuckers? Do ya? Well, here. Here's your new comic, you little shits. Enjoy."
Onstad's all "What's that? You want a new comic, you bitchy motherfuckers? Do ya? Well, here. Here's your new comic, you little shits. Enjoy."
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, Ray. Ray! Is not thing in armpit, say this.
Oh, Ray. Ray! Is not thing in armpit, say this.
patriot
+0 -0
man this really blows.
someone should make a version of assetbar that has a new page every 24 hours
man this really blows.
someone should make a version of assetbar that has a new page every 24 hours
vegasrebel29
+1 -1
May I interest you good fellows in some nostalgia?
[IMGS OFF]
May I interest you good fellows in some nostalgia?
[IMGS OFF]
patriot
+0 -0
pfff that's an urban legend
pfff that's an urban legend
vegasrebel29
+0 -0
Clearly whoever lamed me was jealous of the fact that I managed to use BBcode.
Also, new Achewood content: https://techland.com/2009/11/17/are-you-a-hoarder/
Clearly whoever lamed me was jealous of the fact that I managed to use BBcode.
Also, new Achewood content: https://techland.com/2009/11/17/are-you-a-hoarder/
doppelganger
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
patriot
+0 -0
what the fuck is this shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui5OFT0nQbc Drinky Crow Show 102 Tunnel Girls pt1
what the fuck is this shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui5OFT0nQbc Drinky Crow Show 102 Tunnel Girls pt1
patriot
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkdQ7f8lmE0&feature=related part 2
so it's like family guy basically
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkdQ7f8lmE0&feature=related part 2
so it's like family guy basically
kennisiou
+0 -0
My first time reading this arc, I just didn't really like it. But coming back through the archives again, I must say it's grown on me. It shows us a more human side of Todd, even if he will probably forget Lee ever existed.
My first time reading this arc, I just didn't really like it. But coming back through the archives again, I must say it's grown on me. It shows us a more human side of Todd, even if he will probably forget Lee ever existed.
enough chocolate was not eaten. enough tears, however, were shed. we're gonna miss you, lee
Yeun-ja might pretend, but she will never forget.
[IMGS OFF]
yes.
[IMGS OFF]
Looks like they're waiting for Polly to work the table.
A comment left by patriot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by scottawesome, wazza, Scorpio_nadir, Troy_Convers, TheGreatestCape, SPECTRE)
[IMGS OFF]
caring about people is a drag
I remembered one more lonely heart:
[IMGS OFF]
I bet he's got Beef's Playgirl in a shrine.
I bet he's got his hand on Phillip's thigh.
Rejected storyboards from the last episode of the Soprano's?
[IMGS OFF]
Bravo!
this
this
oh my god
i love you, man
SYYYYYNERRRGGYYYYYY
Wait....are we not done with giving David Chas lip?
Uncool to conflate homosexuality with pedophilia. They are not the same. Pederasts come from both sides of the aisle.
CrazySantorum Quote:
A comment left by wtf was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by scottawesome, Strike_Reyhi, sardoniclaconic, gingerbreadman, Troy_Convers, mr_november, earendil, Fruitonica, cailetshadow, smilebuddha, Llobstrosity)
A comment left by wtf was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by scottawesome, Strike_Reyhi, gingerbreadman, Troy_Convers, shambles, Crater12, cailetshadow, smilebuddha, Llobstrosity)
[IMGS OFF]
INVALID
It's posts like this that make me want to lower my hide-by-lame-count. I hate missing a good post that was lamed for no reason, but more often than not there is a fantastic reason.
I dunno, it can't be that bad, it only got 6 lames, whereas the average frist psot gets three times that many.
tl;dr
thats pretty lazy of you man. the above post is a picture with 2 words and an arrow. in otherwords Ntl;read.
That may be the pst above mine BUT i was referencing the really long post by "wtf" and assetbar can be screwy sometimes and not show things in an intelligible order. Also I am sorry for double posting.
mockereo is too lazy to install assetbarista
I don't even know what that does. I'm just here to read a comic cause i enjoy it. no frills for me.
tl;dr
Future Godwin is spinning in his grave. They have attached magnets to his corpse and are using him to power their cities.
BILLY IDOL IS ALL LIKE
NOT CARING ABOUT PEOPLE IS EASY MAN
[IMGS OFF]
Someone needs to P-shop Cornelius on the end PRONTO!
do we know his wife's name? i can't think of it immediately.
Polly. Well that's her name at the club Corny met her at...
Iris Gambol was Cornelius' wife.
One of them.
Oh God, I suddenly see this as Teodor just passing by their table in some kind of specialty restaurant where everyone wears hats of mourning.
Hat Of Mourning -- HOMburg
[IMGS OFF]
Purity Of Essence -- POE
what are you talking about? He's not even trying to parody fundamentalists...
Fluoridation. Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.
Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women...
but I... I do deny them my essence.
OH GOD ME TOO
it cannot be unseen
I once tried to eat enough popcorn. It is actually not as much as you might think.
I would think that the butter and salt would get to you before the actual popped substance itself did.
Exactly. You are not just speaking from conjecture are you?
No. I, too, have tried to eat enough popcorn.
I think I'd pretty much decided that I'd had enough popcorn after my first small bag.
Look, this fucking freak doesn't like popcorn. I wanna beat you up for not liking popcorn.
I enjoy the word "popcorn" if that wins me any uncontroversy points? The actual polystyrene-esque snack food does very little for me, though.
The popcorn itself is merely a textured vehicle for the butter and salt (and a bit of freshly grated romano if you are extra fancy). One must insist on real butter, not butter-flavored grease. Otherwise is senseless.
Some men consider fish a dish, but fish isn't a dish, fish is a vessel for God. Also known as Old Bay.
I guess men also make this same mistake with popcorn.
Oldbaydammit! I thought fish was a dish.
and it is quite delish.
Don't you wish
That my curtains looked as swish?
...a nice big plate of
Fish, which is my favorite dish
But without no money it's still a wish
I wish I could chubby this harder, octafish. I have been listening to the 7-minute Coldcut remix all week and it is a perpetual chubby in my ear canals. ( Oh god what have I wrought )
lobster: chewy butter.
popcorn: crunchy butter.
Skippy: peanut butter
Skippy: The Bush Kangaroo.
Your mother: I want to fuck her.
I just read again and realized that your first and only popcorn experience involved a small bag. There is never good popcorn in a small bag.
folks,
smartfood white cheddar popcorn.
hell and damn yes.
[IMGS OFF]
Shouldn't it be "cheese[hyphen]flavored," not "cheese flavored"?
I'd say "cheese" flavored would be even more accurate.
Very suspicious of any food with the word "smart" on its packaging.
A comment left by jeffspaulding was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by oingoboingirl, epoc_jones, lazarusloafer, usversusthem)
SO WRONG
THIS IS FOOD FROM THE GODS
At least it's honest.
It's smart enough to know there isn't anything even vaguely cheese related any where near this package, and smart enough to know you don't care.
who cannot say they too haven't tried?
how much is enough?
WHY FIND OUT
cock piss partridge
This has no future as a meme. Try harder.
[IMGS OFF]
Oh geez, you're right about no future. Here it is for the sake of stubbornness
https://img.waffleimages.com/94778599da5651205aa785655a549a6a34e6063c/cockpisspartridge.jpg
nevermind. :(
Try harder.
Nah, I'm convinced.
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Sorry 'bout that last one. Me mum made me do it.
[IMGS OFF]
Recursive
[IMGS OFF]
less effective since you changed your avatar
What I like about this? Someone has actually bothered to sketch it out in pencil first, then (nearly) erase the lines and draw, anew and better, a more artistically pleasing dickbutt. That kind of thing doesn't just happen by not caring.
That person is KC Green.
[IMGS OFF]
RICHARD BUTKUS?!
dick but kis
but kus
you're a dick butkus
tell your mom i want my DVDs back. and my underwear, too.
Fuck you, plummet. You know why.
And fuck you for reasons you know nothing about, plummet.
Plummet stole my avatar
Verily did I laugh upon seeing your modification sir
thegoblins thinks of nothing but murder all day
Paul Blart?
"Cook pass and babtridge?"