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Ray has Airwolf Monday, May 1, 2006 • read strip Viewing 100 comments:

A comment left by thefuturesoundslike was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jesler729, sevenarts, dismas, Connellingus, TheLoneliestMonkey)

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I grudgingly second this, due to a sleepless semester freshman year of college. Lines from Old School loudly quoted at 3 am are not nearly as funny as my neighbors thought they were.

Less than three your avatar...worst children's book ever.

Thanks! I was worried it would be too detailed for its size and just look unrecognizable.

Well, it's definitely not the easiest to make out. It is within the realm of magic eye pictures and whatnot.

Oh, it's that incredible horse book! I get that! I get pictures!

I don't know what book that is. But from here, it resembles a horse drinking beer.

AWESOME.

I think there was a thread on Something Awful about it, it's basically a children's book by a batshit insane person that warns children of the dangers of drugs and peer pressure via teenage horses.

Huh I really need to get a damn forum account over there, since I've been reading the articles and stuff for a few years.

I remember way back in small times (the times of D.A.R.E.) there was a book that used a brightly colored hat as a metaphor for pot. Even then it made me "lol wat?"

Man everybody should have a brightly coloured hat for when they are stoned. Mine is a gigantic, furry, neon green pimp hat.

It's a SAILBOAT!

When Lord? When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat?

"A schooner IS a sailboat, stupid-head!"

oh no! his eyes closed in transit!

There is no technology to guard against this.

i like how ray bought the top 3 things from ePR, assuming that is the laser in the box marked 3'. that's gotta be around 27 mil with shipping.

How could he not?

I think those were the ONLY three things on eBay Platinum Reserve.

Which explains why when you type in "whats the best thing you got," nothing shows up.

i really liked this story arc.

The arc originally felt underwhelming since we had just gotten the finale of the Great Outdoor Fight. But there are some mighty fine moments in these installments. I found myself panicked when the last comic went back to Ray. I was afraid that Phillipe floating helplessly in a Coors ice chest would be left unresolved.

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I rated it a 5 mostly for the dialogue between Ray and T in the first four panels, which is simply brilliant.

And I gave it a 5 beacause Ray's secret eBay consumerism is hilariously merciless.

he didn't want the giant laser though. That's just ridiculous. No practical application.

never mind, i see it.

of course, no need for practical application.

jeezo. ray's in airwolf, man. how can that not be worth a five

Indeed, the presence of Airwolf makes the strip utterly Airwolf

what do you mean, the joke has already been told? we saw the items for sale before, now we see ray bought them. different joke

I like the way Hexjumper got thirteen lames, not even for saying that he didn't like the strip, but purely for saying that it wasn't one of the best ever . Come on, guys. Allow for a little difference of opinion?

Why?

Because Peer pressure is why I'm too scared to say that I didn't much care for the GOF.
I'm afraid you'd follow me to my car.

The fact that Keith Moon's eyes have closed in transit.

Fact: Keith Moon was afraid of flying.

durhh. cause it's a funny wrapper.

Ray, though he may be a spoiled rich kid at heart, is also a good guy at the core. He buys a new toy and the first thing he wants to do is see if there's anything he can do to help his guys. Yes.

Well, if you had just purchased Airwolf, wouldn't you jump at the opportunity to save someone by using Airwolf?

Oh most definitely.

Ray's explanation in the 5th panel is the best writing ever. Also, the last panel.

I've used the whole 'nothing I could say' part a few times since.

5th panel seals this as one of my all-time faves.

Did David Hasselhoff ever pilot Air Wolf? He should have.

I guess Keith's eyes did actually close in transit...shame there isn't any technology to prevent this

[IMGS OFF]
Funeral directors use these to keep the embalmee's eyes closed. They are inserted under the lid. I guess is the opposite effect, but a good way to creep out strangers on the internet.

My feelings on the spikes are con.

Also, the picture, she does not show.

[IMGS OFF]

Nooooooo!

charchar, I'm kind of suppressing the urge to lame you. Obviously I do not think you are lame, but those eyeball spike things are the very definition of Terrible.

The things/places/people I unintentionally learn in these forums. Sobriquet Rouge? Check. P.G. Wodehouse? Check. Harlequin Ichythiosis? Check. Lorelei? Check. Now this ...

The belligerence of Ray's refusal to elaborate on the backstory behind his purchase of Airwolf is telling. Ray wants his friends to see the world as he does -- but he doesn't need them to.

A comment left by cuddlepaw was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, wargasmic, clembot, smilebuddha)

A comment left by straw was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by o2b, Deusoma, Satyr)

Actually, he's saying that despite changing his eBay user name after getting ripped off by Little Nephew, Ray has gotten ripped off again.

E-bay platinum reserve must ship all its products [i}in[/i] Airwolf. Also is it really safe to pilot a helicopter stoned?

It is when it's Airwolf

I rated this a five simply for what ray says in panel seven. I did not watch that film in sixth grade. Instead I got the "sex educations".

Panel... eight?

Nah, he meant panel 7. "Awesome. Where are you?" All-time classic line.

Ray thinks it is awesome that Teodor has a pretty bad problem.

Because it means he can help his guys.

I help my guys all the time if you know what I mean hur hur

(I'm pretty sure that by "guys" I meant my balls, I was not trying to imply that I give my male friends sexual relief)

Film-strip. With a beep to tell the teacher to click to the next slide.

Alt Text: All eBay Platinum Reserve items ship Same-Day Airwolf

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keith moon, drummer for the who... total drunkard... totally awesome.

Yes.

Everyone who lames this missed the pun.

toooooooooommmmy.
where are you going tommmmmmmmmy?

any strip with "Soon." promises to be a good one

is ray still stoned? That would explain his strange phrasing...

He doesn't seem to have the "stoned lines" under his eyes. Besides, Ray always talks like that.

Frames 4 and 5 make me laugh every time I read them and I love how Teodor just gives up in frame 6. I get the impression that he ends up in a lot of conversations like this with Ray.

Don't act like you don't know that Airwolf is faster than any jet. Man, Ray means business when he's stoned.

nothing could possibly make more sense.

Having Airwolf is the number one excuse for getting up early.

When you pack into a box a laser that fires a 3' wide beam, you stare at that blank box for quite some time before you realize...the only thing you need to write--the only thing you CAN write--is 3'.

I think Ray was duped. Sir Keith the Rude was cremated.

And Airwolf crashed, and the laser doesn't exist. Yes, three awesome but nonexistent things. It was deliberate.

Dude. COVERUP. Duh.

the first five panels are possibly one of the funniest things that exist

Panels 4 and 5 are pure Comedic Extract. I laughed so hard I almost choked to death.

The people noting Airwolf's demise and the nature of Keith Moon's disposal aren't realizing exactly how far the rabbit hole goes when it comes to eBay Platinum Reserve.
You only think they're gone. The board of directors has realized that the more discerning consumer doesn't even want to be one of the few who own something, or even the only one owning something. The truly special want something that nobody should be able to own at all.
Next look for unicorn heart, hen's teeth, and a plot of land on the mysterious planet X, Earth's doppel-planet hidden on the other side of the sun.

Planet X == Earth 2 (Special Low Frequency Edition)

Keith Moon's eyes closed in transit. there was no technology to prevent this.

I'm assuming the box with a 3' is alluding to the laser that is 3 feet in diameter. What a strange characteristic to use as the only packaging label.

I like how he has the 3' laser next to Keith Moon's head.

Keith looks so... at peace for someone who died the way he did

Keith Moon's eyes closed in transit.

There is no technology to prevent this.

The dialogue in panels 3-6 is my absolute favorite exchange in any Achewood strip.

"I have Airwolf. This is not code."

Keith Moon's eyes closed d-

oh

My god I laughed so hard at that last panel... The concerned/confused peek into the back seat...

how about teodor's expression in the third-to-last panel!

You guys, I have something amazing to tell you. Last night I saw a documentary about a guy who FUCKING FUCKED AIRWOLF. Nothing else I could say would make more sense given this guy's sexuality and his one-time access to Airwolf.

Ray is stoned and has been up all night. If he were flying a lesser aircraft I would be worried but I'm sure Airwolf has some autopilot features designed for this exact problem.

Fifth panel makes this one for me, ''Nothing could make more sense given what I own and what I am doing at this moment'' is one of the most awesome responses to incomprehension I've ever seen. I'll need to start using it.

Here we have an example of the little-known literary device "Deus Ex Airwolfa"

"Yes, I have a problem. A pretty bad problem, actually." "Awesome. Where are you?"

Jan Michael Vincent gave Ray brief helicopter lessons.

I'm pretty sure this is my favorite strip. I think I've finally found it. I am going to display panel 5 in my office and look at it when I need a smile. Sublime.