phoenixultima
+0 -0
Teodor is facinated by Todd's magical pee.
Teodor is facinated by Todd's magical pee.
guikey
+3 -0
Is the magic in the pee? Or is the pee in the magic?
Is the magic in the pee? Or is the pee in the magic?
thegoblins
+3 -0
The magic's in the music. And the music's in pee.
The magic's in the music. And the music's in pee.
miaou
+0 -0
And the pee's in the manneken.
And the pee's in the manneken.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
And the green grass?
And the green grass?
deusoma
+1 -0
It grows all around and around.
It grows all around and around.
thegoblins
+1 -0
The golden icing flowing down.
The golden icing flowing down.
octafish
+0 -0
There were houses, there were hoses
There were sprinklers on the lawn
There was an ironing board
And she would stand and make her understand him
And ask the children what they'd done at school that day
And the yard went on forever...
There were houses, there were hoses
There were sprinklers on the lawn
There was an ironing board
And she would stand and make her understand him
And ask the children what they'd done at school that day
And the yard went on forever...
thegoblins
+0 -0
But what does this have to do with sexy urine?
But what does this have to do with sexy urine?
wazza
+0 -0
sprinklers?
sprinklers?
octafish
+0 -0
I'll take that wazza. Actually it is more a reference to MacArthur Park, as this is also a Jimmy Webb song performed by Sir Richard Harris. I have to admit I have a huge place in my heart for the songs of Jimmy Webb, even MacArthur Park and The Yard Went on Forever.
I'll take that wazza. Actually it is more a reference to MacArthur Park, as this is also a Jimmy Webb song performed by Sir Richard Harris. I have to admit I have a huge place in my heart for the songs of Jimmy Webb, even MacArthur Park and The Yard Went on Forever.
backdraft
+0 -0
"When you comin' home ?"
"Son, I don't know when...
"When you comin' home ?"
"Son, I don't know when...
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I always thought the lyric went:
"When you comin' home son?"
"I don't know when."
Poignant either way.
I always thought the lyric went:
"When you comin' home son?"
"I don't know when."
Poignant either way.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I imagine the lyrics appear both ways, because the story starts about the father being away all the time, then the son grows up, up, and away, so the father starts asking.
I imagine the lyrics appear both ways, because the story starts about the father being away all the time, then the son grows up, up, and away, so the father starts asking.
wazza
+1 -0
but when it changes to the son being away, it's "Dad, I don't know when"
My parents' taste in music has left me with psychological scars, disguised as knowledge of trivia.
but when it changes to the son being away, it's "Dad, I don't know when"
My parents' taste in music has left me with psychological scars, disguised as knowledge of trivia.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I think that song has left everyone with scars. I think if you live anywhere in the United States you can not escape the emotional scarring caused by that song.
I think that song has left everyone with scars. I think if you live anywhere in the United States you can not escape the emotional scarring caused by that song.
cygnusx-1
+1 -1
Just like the golden amulet of King Chochacho, Cornelius just does not buy ANY of the shit these guys try and pawn off on him.
Just like the golden amulet of King Chochacho, Cornelius just does not buy ANY of the shit these guys try and pawn off on him.
i_love_kate
+2 -1
Cornelius Bear: Making conservative pragmatism cool since 1978 or whenever he took it up I guess.
Cornelius Bear: Making conservative pragmatism cool since 1978 or whenever he took it up I guess.
aperson
+7 -0
When you get to his age, puddles of urine hold no fascination.
When you get to his age, puddles of urine hold no fascination.
jeffspaulding
+3 -0
At his age you're envious that someone can make a discrete puddle.
At his age you're envious that someone can make a discrete puddle.
aperson
+3 -0
At his age, you're just grateful if the puddles you do make are discreet.
[waggles eyebrows/cigar]
At his age, you're just grateful if the puddles you do make are discreet.
[waggles eyebrows/cigar]
wazza
+0 -0
he has presumably already seen a dachshund taking a magical journey through Stalin's Russia in a puddle of her own menses.
he has presumably already seen a dachshund taking a magical journey through Stalin's Russia in a puddle of her own menses.
rowboat
+1 -0
Oh shit, cygnusx-1 - I couldn't see it the first time I scrolled through and I'm still not a hundred percent on this but please tell me that your avatar is a Chinese black magic ray-emitting Lo Pan. Please tell me that.
Oh shit, cygnusx-1 - I couldn't see it the first time I scrolled through and I'm still not a hundred percent on this but please tell me that your avatar is a Chinese black magic ray-emitting Lo Pan. Please tell me that.
lateadopter
+1 -0
I will concur that that looks like Lo Pan, even though you did not include me in the list of people you would like to migrate to a desert island with.
- "Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!"
I will concur that that looks like Lo Pan, even though you did not include me in the list of people you would like to migrate to a desert island with.
- "Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!"
rowboat
+0 -0
That was off the top of my head, holmes. Plus totally pointless.
That was off the top of my head, holmes. Plus totally pointless.
octafish
+0 -0
"Play your cards right, you live to talk about it."
"Play your cards right, you live to talk about it."
cygnusx-1
+0 -0
It is indeed Lo Pan blasting someone's entire being off.
It is indeed Lo Pan blasting someone's entire being off.
i_love_kate
+17 -0
Cornelius Bear's 101 Ways To Pass A Sunny Afternoon.
#1 Go into the garage and smoke.
#2 Mock someone.
Cornelius Bear's 101 Ways To Pass A Sunny Afternoon.
#1 Go into the garage and smoke.
#2 Mock someone.
jake11
+3 -1
the dude has got no mercy
the dude has got no mercy
le_baron_noir
+6 -0
Quote:
Add
"#3 Throw rocks at street kids when they get too close to your Impala."
and you basically have my father's entire biography.
Quote:
#1 Go into the garage and smoke.
#2 Mock someone.
#2 Mock someone.
Add
"#3 Throw rocks at street kids when they get too close to your Impala."
and you basically have my father's entire biography.
mensch
+0 -0
You left out the part where he knocked up your mother after getting her blotto on Bartles & Jaymes.
You left out the part where he knocked up your mother after getting her blotto on Bartles & Jaymes.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Quote:
Ah, the 80's. I recall hanging out with my friends and sharing BJs. (We also shared wine coolers.)
Quote:
blotto on Bartles & Jaymes
Ah, the 80's. I recall hanging out with my friends and sharing BJs. (We also shared wine coolers.)
firedmyass
+0 -0
Man... I miss the 80s, when the cops blew you .
Man... I miss the 80s, when the cops blew you .
usversusthem
+1 -0
[Insert binary joke from bash.org here]
dzzzt
But you're missing the final three ways!
[Insert binary joke from bash.org here]
dzzzt
But you're missing the final three ways!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Dohohohoho.
Dohohohoho.
red-barchetta
+0 -0
Wanting no part of someones "slanted mirror hokum and jive" is getting used s-s-so frikkin' hard today.
Wanting no part of someones "slanted mirror hokum and jive" is getting used s-s-so frikkin' hard today.
aperson
+0 -0
Cornelius is quite the dick. Complaining about a nasty smell while simultaneously igniting an evil little no-doubt acrid black cheroot. What a dick. Yeah you heard me, HE'S A DICK.
Cornelius is quite the dick. Complaining about a nasty smell while simultaneously igniting an evil little no-doubt acrid black cheroot. What a dick. Yeah you heard me, HE'S A DICK.
cygnusx-1
+0 -0
Connie strikes me as a Dunhill kind of man.
Connie strikes me as a Dunhill kind of man.
ike
+0 -0
you don't knowthat he's obviously being a gentelman who puts on a cigarette to discreetly cover a nasty smell like pee?! geez i thought that was obvious.
you don't knowthat he's obviously being a gentelman who puts on a cigarette to discreetly cover a nasty smell like pee?! geez i thought that was obvious.
ike
+0 -0
i mean no offense, btu i thought so.
i mean no offense, btu i thought so.
aperson
+0 -0
Hah yes, you could be right. Also, I feel a bit bad calling C a capital letters dick.
Hah yes, you could be right. Also, I feel a bit bad calling C a capital letters dick.
comrade_tom
+2 -0
Teodor looks like he's doing pennance before the state of montana.
Teodor looks like he's doing pennance before the state of montana.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
It's nigh impossible to shape a puddle of urine into such a near approximation of a square, particularly with a stick. Teodor's urine shaping skills are the really remarkable thing about this whole arc.
It's nigh impossible to shape a puddle of urine into such a near approximation of a square, particularly with a stick. Teodor's urine shaping skills are the really remarkable thing about this whole arc.
lightupafatty
+0 -0
it's either that teodor's some kind of piss sculpting prodigy, or that the highly toxic content of todd's urine gives it a consistency sort of like cake icing, making it easily spreadable.
it's either that teodor's some kind of piss sculpting prodigy, or that the highly toxic content of todd's urine gives it a consistency sort of like cake icing, making it easily spreadable.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I used to dehydrate as a kid. One time it got so bad my piss came out like snot. I'm not kidding, it was all thick and gooey.
I used to dehydrate as a kid. One time it got so bad my piss came out like snot. I'm not kidding, it was all thick and gooey.
firedmyass
+0 -0
that wasn't urine.
that wasn't urine.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
...THAT'S MY WIFE!
...THAT'S MY WIFE!
sje46
+0 -0
That happens to me when I clean my penis.
That happens to me when I clean my penis.
troy_convers
+1 -0
When I read the first sentence, I really thought a Groucho-esque punchline was coming.
When I read the first sentence, I really thought a Groucho-esque punchline was coming.
freewilliam
+0 -0
...and instead you got Kevin Spacey's head juxtaposed over Groucho's when you read the second sentence, like taking a bite of vanilla ice cream and tasting mashed potatoes. jeffspaulding is all kinds of cruel.
...and instead you got Kevin Spacey's head juxtaposed over Groucho's when you read the second sentence, like taking a bite of vanilla ice cream and tasting mashed potatoes. jeffspaulding is all kinds of cruel.
octafish
+0 -0
You work in television props freewilliam??
You work in television props freewilliam??
freewilliam
+0 -0
No, but that would be an interesting gig, all making five copies of the same poker visor for Brent Spiner just in case four of them fail when Data's big scene with Stephen Hawking comes up, only to find out later that one of them sold at auction for $6000 after the fact and it wasn't even the one that got filmed.
No, but that would be an interesting gig, all making five copies of the same poker visor for Brent Spiner just in case four of them fail when Data's big scene with Stephen Hawking comes up, only to find out later that one of them sold at auction for $6000 after the fact and it wasn't even the one that got filmed.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
What IS the equation of the week?
"It's this pee."
What IS the equation of the week?
"It's this pee."
theirateturk
+5 -0
He should pee on the pee to make more pee
He should pee on the pee to make more pee
thegoblins
+1 -0
I spit on your shit.
I spit on your shit.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
And I sat 'pon your shat.
And I sat 'pon your shat.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
I Piss on your spit!
Now We're friends again!
I Piss on your spit!
Now We're friends again!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Hey!
Hey!
puguglypress
+0 -0
The sequels are never as good as the original.
The sequels are never as good as the original.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
and you may ask yourself, my god what have I done?
and you may ask yourself, my god what have I done?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
...What?
...What?
crom
+0 -0
And you may find yourself sitting in the garage staring into a puddle of squirrel piss.
And you may find yourself sitting in the garage staring into a puddle of squirrel piss.
wingspan
+0 -0
And youmay will ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
And you
aperson
+1 -0
All questions should be directed to C Onstad, c/o www.achewood.com.
All questions should be directed to C Onstad, c/o www.achewood.com.
puguglypress
+4 -0
To: Onstad, C (chrisonstad@achewood.com)
cc:
Subject: not my beautiful wife
hey man what gives
To: Onstad, C (chrisonstad@achewood.com)
cc:
Subject: not my beautiful wife
hey man what gives
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Reply:
This is not my beautiful wife.
Reply:
This is not my beautiful wife.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
How do I work this?
How do I work this?
stereo
+0 -0
Where does this henweigh go to?
Where does this henweigh go to?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
octafish
+0 -0
Why the fuck do I have to be the one living in the shotgun shack?
*Sigh*
Same as it ever was...
Why the fuck do I have to be the one living in the shotgun shack?
*Sigh*
Same as it ever was...
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I want to get in on this...but at the same time...it's all out of order, people are repeating each other, some are directly quoting, others are putting a Spin on it. I just ::sigh:: I just don't know man.
I want to get in on this...but at the same time...it's all out of order, people are repeating each other, some are directly quoting, others are putting a Spin on it. I just ::sigh:: I just don't know man.
puguglypress
+1 -0
I just realized that all of these conversations would be so horribly obnoxious in real life, like we're a bunch of foul nerds who go to Ihop at one in the morning and just make references constantly. All the other tables full of chollos and truckers, glaring at us cuz they can't enjoy their meal when we're like "DUDE! Same as it ever was!" "Yeah dude, it's like squirrel piss!"
I just realized that all of these conversations would be so horribly obnoxious in real life, like we're a bunch of foul nerds who go to Ihop at one in the morning and just make references constantly. All the other tables full of chollos and truckers, glaring at us cuz they can't enjoy their meal when we're like "DUDE! Same as it ever was!" "Yeah dude, it's like squirrel piss!"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Except there's like 50 regulars and I'm pretty sure most assetbarbarians are over the age of 30 (with notable exceptions and exceptional notables).
Except there's like 50 regulars and I'm pretty sure most assetbarbarians are over the age of 30 (with notable exceptions and exceptional notables).
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also this style of banter was never meant for real life anyway.
Also this style of banter was never meant for real life anyway.
stereo
+0 -0
In real life, I stutter worse than Todd. So I don't go to the IHOP.
In real life, I stutter worse than Todd. So I don't go to the IHOP.
puguglypress
+0 -0
more of a Friendly's guy huh?
more of a Friendly's guy huh?
lolsworth
+2 -0
Oh God I just know Cartilage Head is gonna show up again
Oh God I just know Cartilage Head is gonna show up again
stsasser
+2 -0
I haven't played Urinal Trail since the 6th grade.
I haven't played Urinal Trail since the 6th grade.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's all I did during computer class.
Actually I was scared of the boy's bathroom.
It's all I did during computer class.
Actually I was scared of the boy's bathroom.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Don't be ashamed. There are few scarier prospects than being alone in a room full of plumbing dating from the Eisenhower administration.
Don't be ashamed. There are few scarier prospects than being alone in a room full of plumbing dating from the Eisenhower administration.
nice-on-water
+10 -0
Man imagine all those lucky kids from the '50s, pissing into brand new urinals: "Keeeeeen!"
Man imagine all those lucky kids from the '50s, pissing into brand new urinals: "Keeeeeen!"
hatstand_mcq
+4 -0
Mr Bear is being rather rude to Teodor, because he fears being guyed by a urine based prank. In the process he misses out on something truly magical. There is a lesson here for us all.
Mr Bear is being rather rude to Teodor, because he fears being guyed by a urine based prank. In the process he misses out on something truly magical. There is a lesson here for us all.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well the odds are statistically 99.9993% that he's right using a sample pool of all piss-related practical jokes that also includes this piss-oracle that can be considered actual.
Well the odds are statistically 99.9993% that he's right using a sample pool of all piss-related practical jokes that also includes this piss-oracle that can be considered actual.
perilon
+0 -0
Yes. Don't not like urine.
Yes. Don't not like urine.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Connie's a PRICK!
Connie's a PRICK!
bluemoon72
+0 -0
It's almost too bad that T can read, because he's missing out on the sight of Kim Jong-Il's ecstatic face while peeling out in the van.
It's almost too bad that T can read, because he's missing out on the sight of Kim Jong-Il's ecstatic face while peeling out in the van.
westsider8
+1 -0
If I had a dime for every time some dude tried to trick me into reading a text adventure from an alternate universe is a puddle of urine from a drug addled squirrel...
If I had a dime for every time some dude tried to trick me into reading a text adventure from an alternate universe is a puddle of urine from a drug addled squirrel...
westsider8
+2 -0
I would probably be as rich as I am from the dimes I receive each time I make a typo on Assetbar.
I would probably be as rich as I am from the dimes I receive each time I make a typo on Assetbar.
aarongstock
+0 -0
We haven't heard from Kim Jong Il lately...
We haven't heard from Kim Jong Il lately...
dangelder
+0 -0
Kim Jong Il does not report to you, he is not your monkey.
Kim Jong Il does not report to you, he is not your monkey.
kamet
+0 -0
In communist North Korea, Kim Jong Il kidnaps YOU.
In communist North Korea, Kim Jong Il kidnaps YOU.
solonlawgiver
+1 -0
Did anybody else get the Hermann Hesse reference. Achewood, the only comic on the web for German literature references.
Did anybody else get the Hermann Hesse reference. Achewood, the only comic on the web for German literature references.
wozzeck
+0 -0
We've all seen how poorly a nation founded upon a bird of prey devouring a serpent worked out. As such, I can hardly imagine what one whose cornerstone is a tiny van and a giant sprig of hemlock will lead to.
We've all seen how poorly a nation founded upon a bird of prey devouring a serpent worked out. As such, I can hardly imagine what one whose cornerstone is a tiny van and a giant sprig of hemlock will lead to.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Well, their currency flows will be based on sucking dick, so it'll be good for someone.
Well, their currency flows will be based on sucking dick, so it'll be good for someone.
rowboat
+0 -0
Hey, it works for Norway.
Hey, it works for Norway.
pygmalion00
+2 -0
Man, that floor really tied the room together...
Man, that floor really tied the room together...
i_love_kate
+6 -0
WHY did you do this. WHY did you not go back a couple of strips and make the same joke about the ROPE. I mean... Rope? TYING? It's a pun AND a Big Lebowski reference and the plebs would have EATEN THAT SHIT UP.
WHY did you do this. WHY did you not go back a couple of strips and make the same joke about the ROPE. I mean... Rope? TYING? It's a pun AND a Big Lebowski reference and the plebs would have EATEN THAT SHIT UP.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
I'm taking votes on what is the worst aspect of this post. The abuse of caps lock, or the truly uncomfortable mixed metaphor at the end.
I'm taking votes on what is the worst aspect of this post. The abuse of caps lock, or the truly uncomfortable mixed metaphor at the end.
bluemoon72
+1 -0
Cring-inducing mixed metaphor trumps cap-lock abuse like a stitch saving nine trumps a penny spent.
Cring-inducing mixed metaphor trumps cap-lock abuse like a stitch saving nine trumps a penny spent.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
The answer is simple: In keeping with the spirit of The Dude's laziness, I was too lazy to exert the 3/200ths of a calorie that it takes to work the mouse and go back three strips to post said comment.
Now as for the effort it took to write all this, I yield.
The answer is simple: In keeping with the spirit of The Dude's laziness, I was too lazy to exert the 3/200ths of a calorie that it takes to work the mouse and go back three strips to post said comment.
Now as for the effort it took to write all this, I yield.
mensch
+0 -0
esprit d'escalier
esprit d'escalier
nice-on-water
+1 -0
'e spit in d'eclair
'e spit in d'eclair
invidious
+0 -0
Yeah, well... that's just like, your opinion, man.
Yeah, well... that's just like, your opinion, man.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Hah plebs is pretty high esteem for the assetbar-ians.We're basically the sort of people that lepers would take pity on and throw grime encrusted ha'pennies at.
We're basically "the undeserving poor" to quote celebrated-Nobel-prize-winning-douchebag George Bernard Shaw.
Hah plebs is pretty high esteem for the assetbar-ians.We're basically the sort of people that lepers would take pity on and throw grime encrusted ha'pennies at.
We're basically "the undeserving poor" to quote celebrated-Nobel-prize-winning-douchebag George Bernard Shaw.
re5urgam
+2 -0
I would like to thing that ha'pennies are actually pennies with Lincoln's mouth & eyes wide open and a speech bubble all "HA!" with the value of a full penny.
I would like to thing that ha'pennies are actually pennies with Lincoln's mouth & eyes wide open and a speech bubble all "HA!" with the value of a full penny.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Cornelius shouldn't be surprised. Teodor used to play "Urine cop" after all.
Cornelius shouldn't be surprised. Teodor used to play "Urine cop" after all.
daidai
+0 -0
Officer Lockstock?
(Hah! A reference maybe 3% of you will get!)
Officer Lockstock?
(Hah! A reference maybe 3% of you will get!)
troy_convers
+2 -0
Urinetown the musical?
Urinetown the musical?
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Google makes 100% of us that 3%.
Google makes 100% of us that 3%.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
I think I understand the origin of the puddle, but...
Where did the rope go?
It's not in the garage. It's not in the van. It's not in Korea. Where did it go?
I think I understand the origin of the puddle, but...
Where did the rope go?
It's not in the garage. It's not in the van. It's not in Korea. Where did it go?
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Ask Glorious Ranger.
[Hint]
[IMGS OFF]
Ask Glorious Ranger.
[Hint]
[IMGS OFF]
westsider8
+0 -0
The rope, the Barn-in-Package, and a portion of Todd's urine converted into the energy needed to create the text adventure universe we are now peering into. We're talking quantum physics here.
The rope, the Barn-in-Package, and a portion of Todd's urine converted into the energy needed to create the text adventure universe we are now peering into. We're talking quantum physics here.
invidious
+0 -0
Anyone want some Tang?
Anyone want some Tang?
mensch
+1 -0
Wu?
Wu?
bluemoon72
+1 -0
Poon?
Poon?
troy_convers
+2 -0
Early or Late dynasty?
Early or Late dynasty?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is he still reading through the piss, or is there some kind of sheet on it now?
Is he still reading through the piss, or is there some kind of sheet on it now?
puguglypress
+0 -0
I was wondering that too! I'm all like, "what?"
I was wondering that too! I'm all like, "what?"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It looks like he put cellophane across it, or a broken sheet of glass. It's so unnaturally rectangular.
It looks like he put cellophane across it, or a broken sheet of glass. It's so unnaturally rectangular.
ike
+1 -0
YES ACHEWOOD WELCOME BACK!
YES ACHEWOOD WELCOME BACK!
mockereo
+1 -0
maaaan it came back last strip you are so EMBARASSINGLY behind the times
maaaan it came back last strip you are so EMBARASSINGLY behind the times
ike
+0 -0
YES COME ON BACK ACHEWOOD!!!
YES COME ON BACK ACHEWOOD!!!
wazza
+0 -1
You want Achewood to come on your back?
Because I can make that happen.
You want Achewood to come on your back?
Because I can make that happen.
hamscout
+6 -0
What is that invidious tang?
Ahh... it's the rank odor of stagnant strip...
[IMGS OFF]
What is that invidious tang?
Ahh... it's the rank odor of stagnant strip...
[IMGS OFF]
cromar
+1 -0
ah so this is where the comment section went
ah so this is where the comment section went
rumblefish
+0 -0
Cornelius seems a little testy lately. I wonder if he realised that he and Polly had different expectations for their relationship.
Cornelius seems a little testy lately. I wonder if he realised that he and Polly had different expectations for their relationship.
i_love_kate
+10 -0
"So... when exactly are you going to pay me?"
"So... when exactly are you going to pay me?"
troy_convers
+0 -0
Oh, BANG!
Oh, BANG!
backdraft
+1 -0
Mom. Car of pain. Say it!
Mom. Car of pain. Say it!
stereo
+1 -0
Teodor's always been a little teste.
Teodor's always been a little teste.
hamscout
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hamscout
+0 -0
I just realized that I hastily pee -shopped' that.
I just realized that I hastily pee -shopped' that.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Pee font is just begging to be released.
A font of pee.
Pee font is just begging to be released.
A font of pee.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Or:
Narpissus, what news from the puddle?
Sorry. Sorry, all.
Or:
Narpissus, what news from the puddle?
Sorry. Sorry, all.
farqussus
+0 -0
no dice
no dice
implode
+1 -0
EVERYONE, ASSETBAR IS BACK
LET'S GO HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM OF ASSETBAR
EVERYONE, ASSETBAR IS BACK
LET'S GO HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM OF ASSETBAR
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
why the bathroom? thats lame. why not right here in the living room?
why the bathroom? thats lame. why not right here in the living room?
far
+1 -0
the dog would totally get jealous...
the dog would totally get jealous...
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
not if you have a ladydog and dudedog...
not if you have a ladydog and dudedog...
autrepoupee
+0 -0
then they'd just laugh at your junk
then they'd just laugh at your junk
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
dogs cant laugh...... can they?
dogs cant laugh...... can they?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
only at knock-knock jokes, they aint very sophistocated animals.
only at knock-knock jokes, they aint very sophistocated animals.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Neither are you very sophisticated , Comrade_tom.
Bark!
Neither are you very sophisticated , Comrade_tom.
Bark!
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Whoops, a spelling error on the internet! My bad.
Apologies for momentarily jeopardising the intellectual integrity of the medium.
Whoops, a spelling error on the internet! My bad.
Apologies for momentarily jeopardising the intellectual integrity of the medium.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
knock-knock
knock-knock
rowboat
+0 -0
Who's there?
Who's there?
smallblackdog
+1 -0
Heather Mills
Heather Mills
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Heather Mills who?
Heather Mills who?
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Heather mills jute and fashions it into a coarse cloth.
Heather mills jute and fashions it into a coarse cloth.
puguglypress
+1 -0
I'd be down with the simple punchline "Heather Mills who?"
I'd be down with the simple punchline "Heather Mills who?"
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Father Tinkin
Father Tinkin
thegoblins
+0 -0
I was barked at by a dude in a motor vehicle when I was drunk last Friday. I then had an involved discussion with the gentlemen I was with whether this meant I am a dog. They said no, it indicated that I was sexually appealing. I then went on to intimate that the gentleman in question was attracted to me because we both wore glasses. This conversation, in retrospect, is faintly amusing to me.
I was barked at by a dude in a motor vehicle when I was drunk last Friday. I then had an involved discussion with the gentlemen I was with whether this meant I am a dog. They said no, it indicated that I was sexually appealing. I then went on to intimate that the gentleman in question was attracted to me because we both wore glasses. This conversation, in retrospect, is faintly amusing to me.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
You really should get out more TJ.
You really should get out more TJ.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
TG
TG
thegoblins
+0 -0
No, because getting out more either means standing in the corner until some creepy old dude chases me or feeling inadequate when I see the other girls and the attention they get.
No, because getting out more either means standing in the corner until some creepy old dude chases me or feeling inadequate when I see the other girls and the attention they get.
listerine
+0 -0
it can be a circular thing; when you feel inadequate then people get this inadequate feeling vibe from you and then they kinda don't pay as much attention to you.
it can be a circular thing; when you feel inadequate then people get this inadequate feeling vibe from you and then they kinda don't pay as much attention to you.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Remember, in the interspace, you can't hear a dog barking, only jackals.
Besides which, doesn't it feel good to give a creepy old dude a momentary buzz?
Remember, in the interspace, you can't hear a dog barking, only jackals.
Besides which, doesn't it feel good to give a creepy old dude a momentary buzz?
listerine
+0 -0
i have a dog his name is butters
i have a dog his name is butters
miaou
+0 -0
He has two ears, upon his hutters.
He has two ears, upon his hutters.
sje46
+0 -0
Hey, we can internet-date, if you want! You'd get attention, and only deal with one creepy dude, who isn't even old!
Hey, we can internet-date, if you want! You'd get attention, and only deal with one creepy dude, who isn't even old!
listerine
+0 -0
come on sje46 you're not being fully honest you aren't old but you sure are creepy in bed
come on sje46 you're not being fully honest you aren't old but you sure are creepy in bed
farqussus
+0 -0
he's creepy out of bed
he's creepy out of bed
i_love_kate
+0 -0
he's creepy across the landing and
he's creepy down the stairs.
he's creepy across the landing and
he's creepy down the stairs.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Creeping up the backstairs
Mother's nightmares
Falling in the front door
My my.
Creeping up the backstairs
Mother's nightmares
Falling in the front door
My my.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Aw hell no, Don't be pickin' up insecure girls on internet chatrooms sje46. You know thats just going to end in a world o' misery when you try and introduce some japanese manga based roleplay into the (motel equidistant from both your cities) bedroom, and she gets all uppity and you're all "HEY I TOOK YOU TO SEE THE NEW TWILIGHT FILM, ATTENTION MUST BE PAID"
Aw hell no, Don't be pickin' up insecure girls on internet chatrooms sje46. You know thats just going to end in a world o' misery when you try and introduce some japanese manga based roleplay into the (motel equidistant from both your cities) bedroom, and she gets all uppity and you're all "HEY I TOOK YOU TO SEE THE NEW TWILIGHT FILM, ATTENTION MUST BE PAID"
thegoblins
+0 -0
I already have enough people trying to pick me up and messin' with my head as it is. The only reason to take a girl to see Twilight is so that she can secretly harbor illegal lustful thoughts about that kid that plays the Native American werewolf.
I already have enough people trying to pick me up and messin' with my head as it is. The only reason to take a girl to see Twilight is so that she can secretly harbor illegal lustful thoughts about that kid that plays the Native American werewolf.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
intriguing... illegal in what way?
intriguing... illegal in what way?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Lust is illegal. No wait, that's murder.
Lust is illegal. No wait, that's murder.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I believe he is still in high school and underage.
I believe he is still in high school and underage.
wazza
+0 -0
the actor is probably in his mid-20s...
the actor is probably in his mid-20s...
listerine
+0 -0
a propos maybe your experience would allow you to give advice about the best way to get inside a girl's panties without too much effort?
a propos maybe your experience would allow you to give advice about the best way to get inside a girl's panties without too much effort?
listerine
+0 -0
well I should specify, I'm looking for the optimal effort/success-rate ratio.
well I should specify, I'm looking for the optimal effort/success-rate ratio.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I couldn't tell you. Someone might get sloppy naked makeouts if he seems nice and we've talked for a while and he isn't pushy about it. That's all I can say.
I couldn't tell you. Someone might get sloppy naked makeouts if he seems nice and we've talked for a while and he isn't pushy about it. That's all I can say.
octafish
+0 -0
Shit out of luck there AIU.
Shit out of luck there AIU.
listerine
+0 -1
okay that sounds pretty good but how do I take it to the next level past sloppy naked makeouts to where we play legos naked and the giant smelly 'pussy monster' attacks the legos town?
okay that sounds pretty good but how do I take it to the next level past sloppy naked makeouts to where we play legos naked and the giant smelly 'pussy monster' attacks the legos town?
thegoblins
+0 -0
That's some pretty horrifying imagery there, brother.
That's some pretty horrifying imagery there, brother.
wazza
+0 -0
legos are hell of sharp edged
legos are hell of sharp edged
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
completely. you wouldnt think that it would hurt to step on one...
completely. you wouldnt think that it would hurt to step on one...
thegoblins
+0 -0
sje, darlin', you already asked me to be your internet girlfriend like a year ago. You just don't recognize me 'cause I'm a kitten now. I need a boyfriend whose bits I can touch.
sje, darlin', you already asked me to be your internet girlfriend like a year ago. You just don't recognize me 'cause I'm a kitten now. I need a boyfriend whose bits I can touch.
troy_convers
+0 -0
I'll mail them in the post if that helps.
I'll mail them in the post if that helps.
sje46
+0 -0
If you live in Leomister, Massachussetts, I'm going to be very pissed.
With love,
sje46
If you live in Leomister, Massachussetts, I'm going to be very pissed.
With love,
sje46
wazza
+0 -0
who you kidding you gonna be pissed anyway
who you kidding you gonna be pissed anyway
thegoblins
+1 -0
I actually come from Massachusetts, but my main place is thousands of miles away, and I'm going to be home very seldom now. Perhaps you should talk to more girls who are, like, real? Like, ones you actually see?
I actually come from Massachusetts, but my main place is thousands of miles away, and I'm going to be home very seldom now. Perhaps you should talk to more girls who are, like, real? Like, ones you actually see?
edd36
+0 -0
Real girls are a myth.
Real girls are a myth.
edd36
+0 -0
On a completely unrelated note I also happen to be thousands of miles from Massachusetts. Clearly this is too much of a coincidence. If I stand out side your window and loudly demand that you come out and french me would this be well recieved?
On a completely unrelated note I also happen to be thousands of miles from Massachusetts. Clearly this is too much of a coincidence. If I stand out side your window and loudly demand that you come out and french me would this be well recieved?
comrade_tom
+2 -0
Heheh "real girls", man 94% of "women" on the internet are DEFINITELY men with ponytails,poorly kept beards heavy metal t-shirts, a replica sword on the wall and strong opinions with regards to what a Grue is.
Heheh "real girls", man 94% of "women" on the internet are DEFINITELY men with ponytails,poorly kept beards heavy metal t-shirts, a replica sword on the wall and strong opinions with regards to what a Grue is.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I dunno, gobs, you know you're my homegirl, but I disagree with you here. I'm as much a real girl conversing with other real people here as if we were all in the same room, or same city, or same state, or same country. This is all the same room, and honest people are just as real here as they would be face to face. I don't see much distinction between "in real life" and "online". Maybe that's because I'm the same person in real life as I am online. No masks, no fronts, no facades, no lies, no fallacies. And especially once a relationship between two people that was held exclusively online turns into a phone call, say, or a quick check-in via Facebook to say "hi", that's a real person and a real relationship, to me. I call greenkoolayd my friend, not my internet friend. Even if he and I never meet face to face, he's as much a part of my life and as much of a friend of mine as the friend who's sitting five feet from me right now and coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow night.
or is that just me?
I dunno, gobs, you know you're my homegirl, but I disagree with you here. I'm as much a real girl conversing with other real people here as if we were all in the same room, or same city, or same state, or same country. This is all the same room, and honest people are just as real here as they would be face to face. I don't see much distinction between "in real life" and "online". Maybe that's because I'm the same person in real life as I am online. No masks, no fronts, no facades, no lies, no fallacies. And especially once a relationship between two people that was held exclusively online turns into a phone call, say, or a quick check-in via Facebook to say "hi", that's a real person and a real relationship, to me. I call greenkoolayd my friend, not my internet friend. Even if he and I never meet face to face, he's as much a part of my life and as much of a friend of mine as the friend who's sitting five feet from me right now and coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow night.
or is that just me?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
the major difference for me is that in real life i use punctuation
the major difference for me is that in real life i use punctuation
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm just as rude and offensive in real life as well. But I'm just saying, there's no accountability. You can't contract herpes or give chocolate to someone online. You gotta take the herpes with the chocolate and just live!
I'm just as rude and offensive in real life as well. But I'm just saying, there's no accountability. You can't contract herpes or give chocolate to someone online. You gotta take the herpes with the chocolate and just live!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I have never received herpes or chocolate from a friend. I've had nits and gin though (about ten years apart), so I take your point.
I have never received herpes or chocolate from a friend. I've had nits and gin though (about ten years apart), so I take your point.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The gin was to make up for the nits. It was a touching moment.
The gin was to make up for the nits. It was a touching moment.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Herpes, no. Chocolate, yes! https://www.chocolate.com/products/large-wooden-box-assortment/ (please everyone give me chocolate. Send it to bluemoon72, c/o the internet.)
Herpes, no. Chocolate, yes! https://www.chocolate.com/products/large-wooden-box-assortment/ (please everyone give me chocolate. Send it to bluemoon72, c/o the internet.)
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
'spensive taste...
'spensive taste...
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Damn right. And I'm worth it.
However, just for you, green, this one's only a buck-fitty .
Damn right. And I'm worth it.
However, just for you, green, this one's only a buck-fitty .
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
ill keep that in mind...
ill keep that in mind...
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I personaly see all you lot as schizoid finger puppets bitching and cracking wise, the idea of anyone on this board posessing a personality and a social circle outside of this forum is a proufoundly unsettling one for me...
I personaly see all you lot as schizoid finger puppets bitching and cracking wise, the idea of anyone on this board posessing a personality and a social circle outside of this forum is a proufoundly unsettling one for me...
listerine
+0 -0
'real life' is simply a place where interaction involves different senses (inputs) and different ways to communicate (outputs) such as body language and physical touch. Interactive I/O is also higher bandwidth in real life.
Having said that, in either place - real life or cyberspace - we find that the experience is different for different people. Case in point: Some people just don't like Meat Loaf, and some do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPTblJlTUX4
Quote:
'real life' is simply a place where interaction involves different senses (inputs) and different ways to communicate (outputs) such as body language and physical touch. Interactive I/O is also higher bandwidth in real life.
Having said that, in either place - real life or cyberspace - we find that the experience is different for different people. Case in point: Some people just don't like Meat Loaf, and some do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPTblJlTUX4
Quote:
Every time I do it just a little bit longer
Every time I dream it's just a little bit stronger, than real life
No-one said it had to be real, but it's got to be something you can reach out and feel
Every time I dream it's just a little bit stronger, than real life
No-one said it had to be real, but it's got to be something you can reach out and feel
listerine
+0 -0
main difference I think between real life and cyberworld is that in real life it takes space aliens with special space/time guns or similar like in that one episode of the twilight zone for reality to be selectively edited, whereas, in cyberspace, all it takes is a myopic dope with admin privs. That's what I don't like about TOUAMB.COM. That's actually the only thing I don't like about it.
main difference I think between real life and cyberworld is that in real life it takes space aliens with special space/time guns or similar like in that one episode of the twilight zone for reality to be selectively edited, whereas, in cyberspace, all it takes is a myopic dope with admin privs. That's what I don't like about TOUAMB.COM. That's actually the only thing I don't like about it.
listerine
+0 -0
come to think of it I guess that's what some of the people there like about it so much.
come to think of it I guess that's what some of the people there like about it so much.
octafish
+0 -0
If you don't think you like Meat Loaf his performance on The Old Grey Whistle Test might get you over the line. It did for me.
If you don't think you like Meat Loaf his performance on The Old Grey Whistle Test might get you over the line. It did for me.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well, I'm just a robot, really. Beep.
Well, I'm just a robot, really. Beep.
troy_convers
+0 -0
'Anyone' of course, includes you...
'Anyone' of course, includes you...
sje46
+0 -0
I totally agree with you. I have many online friends, people I love. I don't think they act especially fake online. Maybe a little different, but it's the same personality.
I totally agree with you. I have many online friends, people I love. I don't think they act especially fake online. Maybe a little different, but it's the same personality.
rowboat
+0 -0
If I just behaved here like I do in real life, I probably wouldn't bother showing up. It'd be boring. I do have some things in common with rowboat (stunning good looks, winning attitude, a penis), but if I acted like him out on the street all the time I think I might have to kick myself in the fucking throat. Three times.
There is a place for ill-tempered bitchy-mouthedness and it is assetbar. I spare the actual people in my life by giving you all the worst of myself. They thank you.
If I just behaved here like I do in real life, I probably wouldn't bother showing up. It'd be boring. I do have some things in common with rowboat (stunning good looks, winning attitude, a penis), but if I acted like him out on the street all the time I think I might have to kick myself in the fucking throat. Three times.
There is a place for ill-tempered bitchy-mouthedness and it is assetbar. I spare the actual people in my life by giving you all the worst of myself. They thank you.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
How boring could you be? Ohhhhh...you're a drummer. Never mind.
How boring could you be? Ohhhhh...you're a drummer. Never mind.
rowboat
+0 -0
It's cliched 'cause it's true....
It's cliched 'cause it's true....
sje46
+0 -0
Don't...take me so seriously. I hardly know ye. I may or may not already have a girlfriend, who may or may not live ~ 4000 miles away, so don't sweat it, really.
I know a lot of people in LDRs.
Don't...take me so seriously. I hardly know ye. I may or may not already have a girlfriend, who may or may not live ~ 4000 miles away, so don't sweat it, really.
I know a lot of people in LDRs.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, and, like, sorry for creeping you out.
Oh, and, like, sorry for creeping you out.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I hang out with herpetic Viking men (i.e. grad students in the humanities). I'm not easily creeped.
I hang out with herpetic Viking men (i.e. grad students in the humanities). I'm not easily creeped.
sje46
+0 -0
In front of the puppy? That's barbaric!
In front of the puppy? That's barbaric!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
the puppy can stay in the bathroom.
the puppy can stay in the bathroom.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
The puppy can stay in the bathroom, where someone will be giving it a blowjob.
The puppy can stay in the bathroom, where someone will be giving it a blowjob.
ike
+0 -0
there's only one room on the internet..................................... CHAT-room!
lol!
there's only one room on the internet..................................... CHAT-room!
lol!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
~1995.
~1995.
wazza
+0 -0
in 1995, I was playing text adventures on an Amiga. Frankly, a puddle of piss would be an improvement.
in 1995, I was playing text adventures on an Amiga. Frankly, a puddle of piss would be an improvement.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
In 1995 I was using a computer from 1990. In 2001 I was using a computer from 1979. Today I am using a computer from 2007. I don't know what this means.
In 1995 I was using a computer from 1990. In 2001 I was using a computer from 1979. Today I am using a computer from 2007. I don't know what this means.
listerine
+0 -0
Once upon a time a computer was by-in-large a computer. Now there are dozens upon dozens of fairly complete computer-esque architectures nestled within and about one another, like a mess of Babushka dolls dropped in a blender. Every year, making this shit work becomes more and more like being an archaeologist trying to piece together broken pottery shards and decode a lost language from a now extinct culture that never made that much sense to begin with. I'm certified as a computer tech AND a quality inspector. Any idiot can get such certifications, but I like to think that I'm smarter than the average bear. Still, I have no idea what any of it means.
Once upon a time a computer was by-in-large a computer. Now there are dozens upon dozens of fairly complete computer-esque architectures nestled within and about one another, like a mess of Babushka dolls dropped in a blender. Every year, making this shit work becomes more and more like being an archaeologist trying to piece together broken pottery shards and decode a lost language from a now extinct culture that never made that much sense to begin with. I'm certified as a computer tech AND a quality inspector. Any idiot can get such certifications, but I like to think that I'm smarter than the average bear. Still, I have no idea what any of it means.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
A dead man smashes his computer in the street. Your discourse reminded me of about three consecutive strips starting here.
[IMGS OFF]
A dead man smashes his computer in the street. Your discourse reminded me of about three consecutive strips starting here.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
FUCK image tag =/= link tag
FUUUUCK
The things I do for love.
FUCK image tag =/= link tag
FUUUUCK
The things I do for love.
stereo
+0 -0
Would you ride a motorcycle through a burning streetcar... for love?
Would you sell a kidney to a stranger... for love?
Would you ride a motorcycle through a burning streetcar... for love?
Would you sell a kidney to a stranger... for love?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I sold my kidney to a stranger while riding a motorcycle through a burning street. So...yeeeeah.
I sold my kidney to a stranger while riding a motorcycle through a burning street. So...yeeeeah.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
A sidecar named desire.
A sidecar named desire.
xud
+0 -0
On the linoleum in the kitchen, like Eddie Van Halen! On the kitchen counter, like David Lee Roth! On a ski boat parked on white carpet in a garage in Arizona, like Sammy Hagar! Do it up Rock and Roll Smithsonian baby!
On the linoleum in the kitchen, like Eddie Van Halen! On the kitchen counter, like David Lee Roth! On a ski boat parked on white carpet in a garage in Arizona, like Sammy Hagar! Do it up Rock and Roll Smithsonian baby!
otter
+1 -0
Panels one and two. I haven't the words. If this strip were a radio show, and I were some kind of stoned ambient DJ or possibly Luke Vibert, I would be sampling the crap out of the lines: "What is that invidious tang? / It's this pee."
Panels one and two. I haven't the words. If this strip were a radio show, and I were some kind of stoned ambient DJ or possibly Luke Vibert, I would be sampling the crap out of the lines: "What is that invidious tang? / It's this pee."
autrepoupee
+0 -0
1) remix I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown) immediately
1) remix I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown) immediately
epoc_jones
+0 -0
i am the cpn's broken record.
i am the cpn's broken record.
deus
+0 -0
Bear aint taking piss from no one.
Bear aint taking piss from no one.
telescreen
+0 -0
I would at least have put on one of those construction face masks to guard against the rankness.
I would at least have put on one of those construction face masks to guard against the rankness.
machineelf
+0 -0
Last strip I was wondering why Teodor was wearing pants. Now I see. No one, not even Onstad himself, wants to see a naked alive stuffed bear bending over a puddle of urine.
Although now that I wrote that, I can't get the mental image out of my head.
Last strip I was wondering why Teodor was wearing pants. Now I see. No one, not even Onstad himself, wants to see a naked alive stuffed bear bending over a puddle of urine.
Although now that I wrote that, I can't get the mental image out of my head.
halfdirt
+1 -0
This is the kind of foresight and complexity that makes Achewood great.
This is the kind of foresight and complexity that makes Achewood great.
sargasm
+0 -0
TAKE A MONTH'S VACATION
TAKE A MONTH'S VACATION
dwigger
+0 -0
The title of this strip is in the running for Best Title Ever. The conflux of character reference, Hesse, and Narcissean pose above pee is enough to make a grown man weep.
The title of this strip is in the running for Best Title Ever. The conflux of character reference, Hesse, and Narcissean pose above pee is enough to make a grown man weep.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
I prounce it "H(the letter H)wood" jus' want'd 2 let yalls know dat. lol solid nsight i should upload dat sediment 2 ma twittler page
I prounce it "H(the letter H)wood" jus' want'd 2 let yalls know dat. lol solid nsight i should upload dat sediment 2 ma twittler page
comrade_tom
+11 -0
And so the mighty Colorado river flows from the valleys to the central plains, uploadin' dat sediment to da twittler page. Rejuvenating the soil with its mineral content.
And so the mighty Colorado river flows from the valleys to the central plains, uploadin' dat sediment to da twittler page. Rejuvenating the soil with its mineral content.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Giving this a chubby isn't enough. I love this comment.
Giving this a chubby isn't enough. I love this comment.
ike
+0 -0
SO WhY DON"T YOU MARRRRY IT?!?!?!
SO WhY DON"T YOU MARRRRY IT?!?!?!
wazza
+0 -0
woman-comment marriage is still illegal in 49 states.
Congratulations Wyoming, for being progressive
oh who am I kidding they just did that to game the population density numbers
woman-comment marriage is still illegal in 49 states.
Congratulations Wyoming, for being progressive
oh who am I kidding they just did that to game the population density numbers
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
comment upd8: i stil habnit upolad to ma twit pages an' on father tinkin abot it i dun fink i m wanna gonna to anyhow so.. it is what it is
comment upd8: i stil habnit upolad to ma twit pages an' on father tinkin abot it i dun fink i m wanna gonna to anyhow so.. it is what it is
linwenwen
+0 -1
The information obtained from this very helpful for me, thank you.tiffany jewellery
The information obtained from this very helpful for me, thank you.tiffany jewellery
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
wow u fuckced at up pretyt bad
wow u fuckced at up pretyt bad
sje46
+0 -0
This is the first commercial spam I've seen on this site. Perhaps we should bet spam-marking privileges...
This is the first commercial spam I've seen on this site. Perhaps we should bet spam-marking privileges...
listerine
+0 -0
I always wondered why there is never any spam on this site. I always just assumed that assetbar is so proprietary that the automatic spam-bots can't figure it out.
I always wondered why there is never any spam on this site. I always just assumed that assetbar is so proprietary that the automatic spam-bots can't figure it out.
aperson
+0 -0
Nah, assetbar is just inherently spam-proof and excellent, kinda like OSX is virus proof.
(rowboat, care to comment?)
Nah, assetbar is just inherently spam-proof and excellent, kinda like OSX is virus proof.
(rowboat, care to comment?)
farqussus
+0 -0
something like, why would you create a virus that gives you complete access to something completely useless? It's like reanimating a quadriplegic.
something like, why would you create a virus that gives you complete access to something completely useless? It's like reanimating a quadriplegic.
aperson
+0 -0
Exactly. In fact I am guessing that the spam above is really fake spam made by somebody trying to be funny.
Exactly. In fact I am guessing that the spam above is really fake spam made by somebody trying to be funny.
listerine
+0 -0
osx isn't virus proof dude. no OS is. and there are lots of viruses for unix.
osx isn't virus proof dude. no OS is. and there are lots of viruses for unix.
aperson
+0 -0
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
listerine
+0 -0
listen asshole don't lie on the internet
listen asshole don't lie on the internet
aperson
+0 -0
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
listerine
+0 -0
uh huh
uh huh
aperson
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
rowboat
+0 -0
Ya'll some knowledgeable computer users.
Ya'll some knowledgeable computer users.
aperson
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
stereo
+0 -0
> old female
Yeah, that seems reasonable.
> old female
Yeah, that seems reasonable.
hamscout
+1 -0
Hey! I'm on a Mac, and it's §%u221Eª «%u2018æ%u2264%u2265÷%u2265« ¶£%u2022!
You're lucky I don't %u0153¥%u03C0¬%u2248%u03A9 you with an iPhone!
Hey! I'm on a Mac, and it's §%u221Eª «%u2018æ%u2264%u2265÷%u2265« ¶£%u2022!
You're lucky I don't %u0153¥%u03C0¬%u2248%u03A9 you with an iPhone!
firedmyass
+0 -0
I was gonna say that nothing is ever [i]completely[i] useless... then I thought of your post. I was all sad and shit for a second, because that seemed to disprove my point. Then I realized that it told me a lot about you, so turns out I was right all along.
I was gonna say that nothing is ever [i]completely[i] useless... then I thought of your post. I was all sad and shit for a second, because that seemed to disprove my point. Then I realized that it told me a lot about you, so turns out I was right all along.
xud
+0 -0
If Teodor wants to partake in piss-sniffing I say let him sniff that piss until that piss is no longer piss but piss vapor. We can do anything we want playas, this is life.
piss.
If Teodor wants to partake in piss-sniffing I say let him sniff that piss until that piss is no longer piss but piss vapor. We can do anything we want playas, this is life.
piss.
snowden
+0 -0
Elsewhere in the world, a reluctant john is grossly underestimating a Dutch prostitute's patience for tricks involving urine.
Elsewhere in the world, a reluctant john is grossly underestimating a Dutch prostitute's patience for tricks involving urine.
listerine
+1 -2
attention please this is a heart felt post
so my little brother died when I was a kid it was kind of a bummer
I was very sad and I depressed and I stop playing on the sports.
but then I have idea I decide I play sports for inspiration of my little dead brother
and I feel not depressed so much and I do okay at the sports
but after some years come and pass I forget memory of little brother what he look like and so on because I was so little when he died i don't rmember much anymore
and all the videos of little brother get erased when daddy want to video tape his porn from the pay per view
then later on in college i have good friend we fuck a lot but then she get pregnant so i break up and pretend it not my baby, but she thinking maybe it is me the father.
so I'm thinking oh man how do I cheat on a dna test
but then it worked out in the end my friend she dies of cancer it is pretty fucked up. So the frat boy that fucked her got stuck with the kid and i was so happy and so sad also simultaniesly. so then i say i am going to graduate from the college because of motivation of my girl friend who died of the cancer.
so secret of my success is make friends with people who has the terminal illnesses. internet is great for finding such people they have chat rooms they even have dating sites for people with aids. I have to tell little gay lie say I have aids when I don't, but I make many friends this way of course i don't fuck them I just say 'well i'm not attracted to you because you look different in person than on the site but can we still be friends' and then I have new friends to motivate me.
one thing with this method is don't wait for friend to die before you go look for another aids friend because aids people can sometimes take too long years to die so stock up in advance.
is true what they say people with aids and such diseases really can make a difference.
attention please this is a heart felt post
so my little brother died when I was a kid it was kind of a bummer
I was very sad and I depressed and I stop playing on the sports.
but then I have idea I decide I play sports for inspiration of my little dead brother
and I feel not depressed so much and I do okay at the sports
but after some years come and pass I forget memory of little brother what he look like and so on because I was so little when he died i don't rmember much anymore
and all the videos of little brother get erased when daddy want to video tape his porn from the pay per view
then later on in college i have good friend we fuck a lot but then she get pregnant so i break up and pretend it not my baby, but she thinking maybe it is me the father.
so I'm thinking oh man how do I cheat on a dna test
but then it worked out in the end my friend she dies of cancer it is pretty fucked up. So the frat boy that fucked her got stuck with the kid and i was so happy and so sad also simultaniesly. so then i say i am going to graduate from the college because of motivation of my girl friend who died of the cancer.
so secret of my success is make friends with people who has the terminal illnesses. internet is great for finding such people they have chat rooms they even have dating sites for people with aids. I have to tell little gay lie say I have aids when I don't, but I make many friends this way of course i don't fuck them I just say 'well i'm not attracted to you because you look different in person than on the site but can we still be friends' and then I have new friends to motivate me.
one thing with this method is don't wait for friend to die before you go look for another aids friend because aids people can sometimes take too long years to die so stock up in advance.
is true what they say people with aids and such diseases really can make a difference.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
My little brother died when he tried writing about his little brother dying. Not funny, not cool, not a good troll.
My little brother died when he tried writing about his little brother dying. Not funny, not cool, not a good troll.
farqussus
+0 -0
intrigued, newsletter, etc
intrigued, newsletter, etc
octafish
+1 -0
Anyone know what the B-Side for Slanted-mirror Hokum and Jive was? My brother says Shake Hands with a Politician but I insist it was The Pointing Percy Boogie.
Anyone know what the B-Side for Slanted-mirror Hokum and Jive was? My brother says Shake Hands with a Politician but I insist it was The Pointing Percy Boogie.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
It was Micturating Sow in most countries, but there's the rare Japanese pressing b/w Church-Faced Retard.
It was Micturating Sow in most countries, but there's the rare Japanese pressing b/w Church-Faced Retard.
bluemoon72
+1 -0
I have the German bootleg with the B-side "Yell 'BALLS' Louder!"
I have the German bootleg with the B-side "Yell 'BALLS' Louder!"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is that the one that's 12 seconds longer, when the lead singer holds the "F-F-F-FRIG!" line at the end?
Is that the one that's 12 seconds longer, when the lead singer holds the "F-F-F-FRIG!" line at the end?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
You got it...but keep listening; after the record sounds like it's played itself out, in the very last couple of inches of the outermost groove, there's a barely-audible SSSSSSSSSSSSNIF!
You got it...but keep listening; after the record sounds like it's played itself out, in the very last couple of inches of the outermost groove, there's a barely-audible SSSSSSSSSSSSNIF!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
If it's anything like the 4 locked grooves at the end of "The Dude Has Got No Mercy" then I got ym ass on eBay already.
If it's anything like the 4 locked grooves at the end of "The Dude Has Got No Mercy" then I got ym ass on eBay already.
replication
+0 -0
Cornelius can be such a party-pooper sometimes.
Cornelius can be such a party-pooper sometimes.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I think this is a general trait of his. When the guys are acting like a bunch of first rate fools, his party-poopery is accepted and welcomed by us, because someone's got to put the boys straight. But when we're as intrigued by the shenanigans as Ray or T or Beef, we're a little annoyed when Connie plays the cunt. Overall, he's rarely on board with the things the guys do. The Bad Ass Games and Stoned Lightning are the only things that come to mind that current day Connie would sniff and furrow his brow at. I was surprised when he started writing the Strip book. And that's all odd considering the reasoning behind the Boffin episode is pretty logical: give the old guy something to entertain his mind with. Yet we normally see him Walter Matthauing it up.
I think this is a general trait of his. When the guys are acting like a bunch of first rate fools, his party-poopery is accepted and welcomed by us, because someone's got to put the boys straight. But when we're as intrigued by the shenanigans as Ray or T or Beef, we're a little annoyed when Connie plays the cunt. Overall, he's rarely on board with the things the guys do. The Bad Ass Games and Stoned Lightning are the only things that come to mind that current day Connie would sniff and furrow his brow at. I was surprised when he started writing the Strip book. And that's all odd considering the reasoning behind the Boffin episode is pretty logical: give the old guy something to entertain his mind with. Yet we normally see him Walter Matthauing it up.
octafish
+0 -0
And yet he can't handle Southern Comfort and lemonade...
And yet he can't handle Southern Comfort and lemonade...
farqussus
+0 -0
That has something to do with it being a disgusting beverage.
That has something to do with it being a disgusting beverage.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Aw SoCo ain't disgusting none!
Aw SoCo ain't disgusting none!
farqussus
+0 -0
maybe if you talk like that without a hint of irony
maybe if you talk like that without a hint of irony
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I honestly can't remember the taste. Last time I had it I was well along the way and it was a whole long time ago now anyway. I guess the ol' "fruity ass shit" thing holds water, but I don't care enough to defend it. I just drink whatever is presented to me usually. I'm young enough where that's still something to do 99% of the time (absinthe falling under the 1% of the time you don't do that but hey, live and learn).
I honestly can't remember the taste. Last time I had it I was well along the way and it was a whole long time ago now anyway. I guess the ol' "fruity ass shit" thing holds water, but I don't care enough to defend it. I just drink whatever is presented to me usually. I'm young enough where that's still something to do 99% of the time (absinthe falling under the 1% of the time you don't do that but hey, live and learn).
hatstand_mcq
+4 -0
There are lots of drinks that I would be scornful of because they are artificial, pointlessly sweet, or, to be honest, because I am a massive snob. But Southern Comfort isn't just a cloying, mass produced liquor tasting of sugar. It has a flavour that is genuinely depressing. Imagine an old orange, who has turned to drink. His family has drifted away from him. He was made redundant at 55 and now he has nothing to do but sit around and knock back whisky. He is in a pub, ordering his second of the day at ten to twelve. He still stinks of booze from the night before. Suddenly through the door walks his ex wife and her new husband, to ask for directions. They look over and see the unshaven orange in the corner, and he sees them. Imagine taking a bite out of that orange. That is how southern comfort tastes.
There are lots of drinks that I would be scornful of because they are artificial, pointlessly sweet, or, to be honest, because I am a massive snob. But Southern Comfort isn't just a cloying, mass produced liquor tasting of sugar. It has a flavour that is genuinely depressing. Imagine an old orange, who has turned to drink. His family has drifted away from him. He was made redundant at 55 and now he has nothing to do but sit around and knock back whisky. He is in a pub, ordering his second of the day at ten to twelve. He still stinks of booze from the night before. Suddenly through the door walks his ex wife and her new husband, to ask for directions. They look over and see the unshaven orange in the corner, and he sees them. Imagine taking a bite out of that orange. That is how southern comfort tastes.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I saw the green and was like "How did this get greened so quick, talking about alcohol?" Then I realized there must've been some kind of extended metaphor with it. And I was frickin' RIGHT.
I saw the green and was like "How did this get greened so quick, talking about alcohol?" Then I realized there must've been some kind of extended metaphor with it. And I was frickin' RIGHT.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Jameson, otoh. No one knocks Jameson, they just knock another Jameson down.
knock-knock
Jameson, otoh. No one knocks Jameson, they just knock another Jameson down.
knock-knock
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Who's there?
Who's there?
dans
+0 -0
Not to put onstad down or anything but this strip made me realize that teodor might be better as an actual bear [IMGS OFF]
Not to put onstad down or anything but this strip made me realize that teodor might be better as an actual bear [IMGS OFF]
dans
+7 -0
huh, that's weird. lemme give this another shot:
[IMGS OFF]
huh, that's weird. lemme give this another shot:
[IMGS OFF]
puguglypress
+0 -0
And it actually makes Cornelius's pretentious dick-speak funny!
And it actually makes Cornelius's pretentious dick-speak funny!
octafish
+1 -0
Don't be silly, real bears wear waiscoats and no pants, not pants and no waistcoat.[IMGS OFF]
Don't be silly, real bears wear waiscoats and no pants, not pants and no waistcoat.[IMGS OFF]
farqussus
+0 -0
That's not Shirty
That's not Shirty
cracklewater
+0 -0
No, it's Humphrey B. Bear.
The 'B' stands for 'Bear'.
No, it's Humphrey B. Bear.
The 'B' stands for 'Bear'.
jacques_schitt
+0 -0
He's a funny old fellow.....
And get's in all manner of strife.
He's a funny old fellow.....
And get's in all manner of strife.
farqussus
+0 -0
Yes indeed, he leads a VERY exciting life, and his favourite fair, honey, has contributed to his unhealthily lowhanging undercarriage.
No, I was hoping for Shirty, the slightly aggressive bear
[IMGS OFF]
Yes indeed, he leads a VERY exciting life, and his favourite fair, honey, has contributed to his unhealthily lowhanging undercarriage.
No, I was hoping for Shirty, the slightly aggressive bear
[IMGS OFF]
cracklewater
+0 -0
Daaamn! The image took about 30 secs to appear, and I was thinking "I'm sure I remember Shirty the Slightly Aggressive Bear.
Then He appeared and I was whisked back to simpler times. Thank you!
Was he on D-Generation, the Late Show or something else I've since forgotten?
Daaamn! The image took about 30 secs to appear, and I was thinking "I'm sure I remember Shirty the Slightly Aggressive Bear.
Then He appeared and I was whisked back to simpler times. Thank you!
Was he on D-Generation, the Late Show or something else I've since forgotten?
farqussus
+0 -0
The Late Show indeed, my wet, crackly friend.
The Late Show indeed, my wet, crackly friend.
jacques_schitt
+0 -0
Oops....killed a kitten.
Oops....killed a kitten.
freewilliam
+0 -0
It must be time to register achewoodminusteodor.com.
It must be time to register achewoodminusteodor.com.
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
1 failed deadline
1 failed deadline
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
1. plus one. does assetbar filter the character?
1. plus one. does assetbar filter the character?
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
god dammit asset bar it's a valid god damned character what the hell
god dammit asset bar it's a valid god damned character what the hell
listerine
+0 -0
You might have a non-standard keyboard because the + sign works for me. Or possibly your ISP is out of Kansas? I'm not sure they have + signs there.
You might have a non-standard keyboard because the + sign works for me. Or possibly your ISP is out of Kansas? I'm not sure they have + signs there.
rowboat
+0 -0
Plus 3 worthless posts.
Plus 3 worthless posts.
octafish
+0 -0
Ah ah ah ah!
Ah ah ah ah!
wordsalad
+0 -0
Puppet Hinge!
Puppet Hinge!
listerine
+0 -0
A comment left by listerine was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jake11, falseprophet, fattypneumonia, Troy_Convers)
A comment left by listerine was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jake11, falseprophet, fattypneumonia, Troy_Convers)
dacapn
+0 -0
hands up if you looked up "micturating"
hands up if you looked up "micturating"
Cornelius knows a lot of words.
A comment left by mattsolo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Absurdist, Cracklewater, griggs_although)
O, god. I just realized this is the second thing everyone's going to have to read. Sorry for negativity with your coffee first thing in the a.m. everyone. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. PUPPIES AND BLOWJOBS (unrelated!).
A comment left by far was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Cyberbob, gladi8orrex, NYU, epoc_jones, Scorpio_nadir)
A comment left by far was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Cyberbob, NYU, griggs_although)
A puppy killed my grandmother three years ago today you jerk
Not funny, not cool, not a good comment.
Or is it too soon to bring that stuff back? Has anyone put sje out of his xkcd-boards-posting misery yet?
I am sje, you insensitive moron
Assetbar: Zero to untoward to puppy blowjobs in less than sixty seconds.
I stopped saying that a long while ago, when I started perceiving it was more lame than I thought.
I still post on xkcd-fora like a mad man.
A comment left by listerine was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, Cypher, jake11, Tucky, Scorpio_nadir, ike, btc, Troy_Convers, ulton, sje46, puguglypress)
Uhhhhh...what?
First off, this is a bit of a non sequitur, ern't it?
Secondly, there are many, many places on the internet where you can spend the entire afternoon arguing in anonymity. These places include IRC chats, forums, message boards, and image boards like 4chan. And, of course, Assetbar, easily.
Threesly, you imply that Assetbarians can't spell or use grammar? This is...very inaccurate. Just look up and down the board. There are very talented writers here! Unfortunately I'm not one of them.
So, yeah...don't spam our Assetbar, please.
I'm not entirely convinced that that's her.
Me neither, but it was still a lame comment.
It's a bit queasy to find out there are people out there who will hold some sort of arcane grudge against me because I post my cartoon-cat related comments on the wrong part of the internet.
Not to be a dick to a stranger or anything, but does this emphasis on grammar not apply to Latin? "An Achewood fora" grates on my nerves just a little.
Lord, it's doubly nauseating. A snide comment about correct spelling and grammar, then a cringy attempt to sound learned by pretending that 'forum' needs a Latin declension.
Getting it ass backwards is just the icing on the bile-cake.
psssst! Den Mother! "Forum" is singular!
Also, the main justification for the overall pissy attitude on touamb is ... what? The original board went away, they started another one, then assetbar started hosting comments and ... what? How is this a source of (and forgive the term, but it seems utterly appropriate in this instance) butthurt? Were the refugees hoping for some sort of prize or prodigal happening? I'm genuinely mystified.
I think they assumed assetbar would pretty much be the British Mandate in 1947 and it's denizens would be the insignificant palestinians who'd make way for them.
Tenuous metaphor relating to the foundation of israel?
check.
And I'm thinking of the best place for jay-ell dee to stick her 144 tiny cans of Doctor Pepper...
Logged
I'm Troy Convers, from Assetbar, the official Achewood message board, and I approved this message.
Thangew.
I am AIU, not jay-ell.
Anyway, upon looking at the thread on touamb that ensued following jay-ell's above-copied-post, all I can say is, holy shit, there are some assholes on touamb. Setting aside whatever prejudice and animosity these people may have towards other groups such as assetbar, and there is some of that, these people are just plain outright dicks to each other. I don't feel the least bit insulted anymore about how they treated me. I realize now it's nothing personal, they are just dicks -- not all of them, but a good portion of them.
link the the above-referenced thread on touamb is here
Okay, thanks.
Yeah, of what I've seen, they are dicks, and that's all can be said, really. I guess they are more threatened by the more popular, more official board than we are by the quiet more private board. But it really doesn't make a difference, since we don't really have to deal with them. No need to declare war with Canada.
you care about this.
Passingly.
Bobby Isosceles seems like a reasonable fellow. Wonder if he's also a 'barbarian.
shit I didn't expect to exacerbate any conflict between touamb and assetbar to this extent if at all, but I guess sometimes the best trolling is on accident. I'll take what I can get.
I will say that there is this phenomenon whereby many if not most people (myself included) seem to acquire a tunnel vision and invest our writing with far more strength and narcissism than if were speaking with our audience, and likewise we interpret the written word of others as much stronger in meaning than if we were listening to the same person speak instead these words. I'm sure that if the various parties with various negative ideas about each other were to hang out in person, they would probably get along just fine, although, who knows, maybe some of us have been dicks on the internet for so long that it's warped our personae to where we would even be dicks to each other in person.
You didn't expect to exacerbate any conflict? BULLSHIT. That's precisely why you re-posted what JLD wrote.
I suspected parties concerned might make a cluster fuck out of it, perhaps a part of me even hoped... But I didn't think it so likely that it should be expected. :-P
These Touambistanis clearly hate our freedom. Having spurned our most favourite assetbar poster AIU, a man who has never knowingly irritated another soul on the internet, puts them utterly beyond the pale.
I can only wonder - is there a way we can carpet bomb a website?
...or a DOS attack...
just sowing seeds...
Dogs On Skateboards? ...could we really do that??
I was actually thinking of chucking some old 1970s IBM PCs at them.
Ahh fuckit, let's just hack their site...
Nah man. Dogs On Skateboards . Let's make this happen.
lets find where they live and cut them up into little pieces and feed them to dogs on skateboards
"What's that?
Dogs... and they're on skateboards you say jay-ell? And they're playing baseball with your tiny Dr. Pepper cans?"
clicks phone down
#GLOWERS#
"ASSETBAR HOUSE!!!"
Yeah. I was envisaging dogs on skateboards just ruining touamb through shenanigans and generally being eager as the dickens. NOT murder etc.
traitor
https://touamb.com/index.php?action=profile;u=1253
Last Active: Today at 06:15:27 PM
unless this guy has an explanation like he is finding their home addresses for us I'm not sure I trust him he's a double agent maybe
My touamb username is different from my assetbar username. I have subtracted hell of tiny cans from you AIU.
Insert Gary Rentiel Animated GIF Here
I created that when I thought Assetbar was dead. I find it's always handy when I need help falling asleep.
[IMGS OFF]
Ans for some reason the link's been broken to my bulldog pic.
Rackum frackum.
[IMGS OFF]
I see it just fine.
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Scorpio_nadir, Troy_Convers, aperson)
Glad to see you're back to form Glad. As enigmatic as ever buttmunch...
lamed u again. i can do dis all day, bitch dont fuck wit me
Assetbar is the shit and fuck your website i just went on there to see how it's doing and oh guess what it's doing shitty. your websit sucks and it's unofficial this is the only official achewood webring and you have to get on out ya sucker!
Yeah, ya big dummy! You blew it!
Ha ha! What an IDIOT!
I get the feeling 'tuoambers' feel like their forum is the negelcted older brother the the younger Assetbar sibling. Seems to be a lot of resentment. Hey, don't feel bad guys come and join the real party instead of that book reading you've got going on over at the 'tomb'.
Either that, or we're Delta House to their Omega House...
Its almost worrying how much I've taken to heart their implication that the level of discourse here on the 'Bar is somehow lower than theirs. What, just 'cause you're on a standard BBS-style messageboard where one can make a 2000-word post and not look like a tool? You show me one tangential anecdote written by someone with a greater degree of talent than Spinynorman, or a piece of Photoshopped Buggery which comes close to somethig that Edwell would spend a sunny afternoon throwing together, and maybe I'll take that kind of shit from you.
I am so angry. Some kind of duel is warranted, here. I am taking the internet glove to whatever face over there would bring forth the loudest cries of "I say!"
I like to have sex with dead monkeys
Oh.
What do you expect from people who tolerate objectivists?
And show me one of sje46's legendary, sexy, sexy posts.
sje46 » neu 3 days ago
That makes me feel bad. It's been months since I last gave my puppy a blow job. I'm not even sure he's a puppy any more =/
reply :: Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames (marked as spam 0 times)
Rate this Comment: Chubby Lame Mark as Spam *Ignore User*
Something's been on my mind since this little discussion came up: why in frig do we give two shits what touamb thinks about us? They clearly don't care what we think of them, and we're not bothering each other. They're not an army of trolls and spammers, consistently trying to bring assetbar down. Ignoring each other is 1000x easier than holding discourses on The Touamb Question. How it's come to that, I'll never know.
True dat. this only started when we thought Assetbar was moribund. Most of us would never have been aware of the other's existance if this hadn't been the case.
Anyone like a chocolate from Pandora's box anyone?
A comment left by listerine was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by cunty, HamScout, Thorfinn, Mattsolo, nice-on-water, re5urgam, jake11, rowboat, sardoniclaconic, Troy_Convers, Hatstand_McQ, smilebuddha, mr-siegal, puguglypress, echidnaboy, I_Love_Kate)
The views and opinions of AIU are entirely his own and are in no way connected to or endorsed by the users of AssetBar as a whole.
A comment left by listerine was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NYU, shambles, puguglypress)
...or indeed, the human race as a whole.
Aaaaand that's the fun comprehensively sucked out of that topic then.
New topic-
Arial: Helvetica's retarded younger brother?
I like Arial, most instructors accept it for assignments and it's bigger than Times New Roman, which means I have to type less. Arial, 14 pt, 2.1 line spacing ftw.
Arial's hecka gay. No style, no class.
id help out but i m not a tech guy at ALL so id fuck it up lol but das some good work wit all teh info u got
We all appreciate it though, glad.
You're not using my fora.
That's reserved for making sexual photoshops of nice-on-water.
{: 0
Finally, somewhere to put all my lames!
AIU=Nice Pete?
No, Nice Pete is a gentleman.
Kinda...
they have a similar attention to detail involved in their many murders, though.
Perhaps we can get AIU some etiquette courses.
people will rate strips with nice pete highly, but when I use the same humor, I get mostly lames. I hate people. they should all die.
they will. now Calm Down.
don't get me wrong I am calm. I'm nice pete calm. :)
I must speak up and say this sort of stuff is not Assetbar. It is a place where people try to make the wittiest comment they can (preferably with avatar synergy) and step back and let the chubbies roll in. They tend not to act like other internet people. Assetbar is criticism of a comic like two dudes on a couch making fun of a movie they love while passing a j is criticism of movies: it only counts if it's funny and in the end everybody is just here to be entertained. And that is as simple as it gets. Please leave this woman alone and keep Assetbar as God intended it.
even folks sitting on couches passing a 'j' revel in the dogma security blanket of concepts like 'God.' Free your mind, maybe then I'll take you seriously.
Quote:
Don't talk to him like he's real.
God or the mouthwash?
Take your pick.
BURRRRRRRN
I've got no beef with toumb, but I do think it is sort of funny that the most conversation they've had in years comes from threads about Assetbar.
Also, feeling so cheesed about the creator of a webcomic deciding not to have a message board after awhile--and then changing his mind--is a little weird. For example, x-entertainment (a website) used to have a message board, years and years ago. It was closed, 'too much effort'. No one cried and hated it when the comment section of his blog became a sort of electronic conveyance means. So, I don't know...If Assetbar closed, which could happen, I'd just post somewhere else (hopefully where some of you people were) and """""get over it""""".
Especially years later . You wouldn't catch me, suede patches on my keyboard, typing up some manic screed about how betrayed you felt by the guy with the cat cock comic.
Man I was totally behind you before you started kissing spinynorman's ass.
I agree however with the general sentiment though, more power to the Assetbario!
Hey! A rattlesnake bit him, and I had to suck the poison out! It was the only way!
Killed her by blowjob?
I was about to say "why does the timing of your statement matter, surely if what you say is valid/ doesn't suck cock then it is appropriate at any time" but I stopped myself and thought of scenarios where this clearly isn't the case.
Timing is everything, friend, and I apologise for my initial reaction.
I hope you will derive some satisfaction from having made this young Turk think deep thoughts about the world.
like how its one thing for a football team 2 run a train on a woman but changes alot if the woman is ur girlfriend at the time
Yeah, exactly.
women are people too!
yup
Sorry Glad it was a
basketballbassball team.A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Scorpio_nadir, Troy_Convers, aperson)
you can do better than this
you fucking spanish american
do NOT get racial. dis aint abot dat
Do I have to post the picture of the goldfish with a basketball again? Or is that saying "brisketball"?
how many times are you gonna dump that turd on assetbar?
lamed.
mr scorpion
Actually, doesn't the joke go:
"How do you stop five white guys raping a woman?
Throw them a golf ball"
LOLZ indeed.
Chubby.
That's just silly. It is impossible for five men to play golf with one ball. Your joke makes no sense at all. Also, not all golfers are white, there's Tiger Woods and......... I'm pretty sure there's gotta be somebody else, I just can't think of them at the moment.
How do you stop gladi8orrex from raping a white woman?
Trick question. No white woman would turn down sex with gladi8orrex.
Vijay Singh.
Michael Campbell
(he is Maori)
like hows joke abot blacks get lamed while white joke gets chuppied. fink abot dat 1 4 a lil bit
damn racialists!
You wretch, not only is the joke shite, you fucked up the delivery.
Losing your touch Gladys. Lame-o-rama.
dont need another fuckin critic thx try keepin' ur shit opinions 2 urself cuz i dont give a FUCK
why would you go to the effort to embold the word "fuck" if you didn't care lmbo
fuck u
You slag me off but not scorpio_nadir for a similar comment.
Fuck you hypocrite.
And anyway Ethel, if you don't want shit opinions don't post shit jokes, ya one-trick pony.
u obv got issues an is and unreasonable ass-wit. so consider dis teh last ima waste on u. gonna take obama high road an end dis
Don't you go correcting him to drag me into your pissing match.
PIE FIGHT!
PIE FIGHT!
They are separate pleasures that should be kept compartmentalized. Yes?
That makes me feel bad. It's been months since I last gave my puppy a blow job. I'm not even sure he's a puppy any more =/
I guess not, huh.
Tonight, my pup, you become a Dog .
my last girlfriend was a total dog
How great would it be to be hugging a puppy while getting a beej? I wonder if my girlfriend would be cool with hooking this up.
(she is a cat person... could be tricky.)
the dog would totally get jealous...
Hmm, clawmarks on your dick. Niiice. Not.
my dick so hard a cat couldn't scratch it
I like the fact that your girlfriend being more of cat person is the main barrier you face in trying to integrate dogs into your sex life.
[IMGS OFF]
In my experience, animals have a sixth sense for naked humans about to get rutty and find ways to make it as awkward as possible.
Pheronomes?
are those words that smell like other words?
No they're hormones that smell the same to dyslexics and the dyslexia challenged.
you should probably pay more attention to your dog so he/she doesn't feel jealous
i keep reading this and trying not to laugh. IT NEVER WORKS! I LAUGH EVERY TIME !
Don't be calling Mr. Bear a huge dick.
Cornelius is Achewood's most reasonable and generous character, even if he does occasionally entertain thoughts of murder.
I just meant this: The Mr. Bear I love is the sage of the group -- the been-around-the-block man's man immune to (but not totally disinterested in) a young man's hi-jinx. He is the cool out-of-town uncle that sends you books for your birthday -- not retard books, but real actual smart-people books they don't keep in the middle school library.
Just, lately, he's been more a cantankerous grandpa who thinks nothing worth his attention has happened since VE day. Maybe he feels the imminent embrace of the reaper??
Maybe he's got a big head now that he has a girlfriend.
I think it's something more psychological -
[IMGS OFF]
Well you know what they say: it's better to be pissed-off ...
Is Todd pissing on a rope soon to become the equivalent Calvin pissing on a mud flap chick?
Here, let's get a Post-it and a calligraphy pen. This is way too cute not to mock up.
Man, I never knew I'd come on AB and see Achewood Furry Watersports Porn.
It's more likely than you think.
Quote:
Happiness is a wet pussy.
Cum cum, shoo-oot shoot.
maybe he gets big head now he's got a girlfriend.
especially since she's a stripper and all
cause you KNOW strippers know how to work that pole
Hey I raead in the paper today you had a terrible accident involving a motorboat propeller. Sorry to hear that Lord Lucan.
shhhh - you ain't seen me. right?
He ain't Lord Lucan, he's just some beatnik called barry chilling in the indian subcontinent...
I find a world of gentle concern in Mr Bear's 'That is no way to pass a sunny afternoon'. It sums up the deep sense of unease and discomfort we would all feel to come across one of our friends shirtless in a garage, staring intently into a puddle of mephitic rodent piss.
Chubs for mephitic.
Is there a polite way to ask why someone is huffing piss?
Next thing you know, Teodor will be driving a rocket-powered Trans Am to Nippopolis.
This was the most educational comic title that I can remember, and fitting.
Made me forget, for a moment, that we are studying Nietzschean theory through the fetid glass of squirrel urine.
Actually, that's the only correct way to view Nietzsche.
I am giving out chubbies like a mad man today.
that's just super, man
I don't feel uber.
It's okay, he doesn't feel that good.
I chubby puguglypress for not being daidai.
I chubby him for not being Daidai's father!
Well excUuuUUse me!
that was...a difficult arrested development to verbalize...textualize? type.
Guess who forgot to type "reference" in their last post?
Hint: It was me.
The pressure of being a first post was just incredible, and now everybody wants a piece of me. I thought fame would heal the hole inside of me, but it's just made me feel more alone!
There is a Facebook frist pots support group for that.
Excuse me, sir, but do you specialize in medical frist pots? You see, I have a chronic condition that necessitates the use of daily Frist Pot.
Frist Pots: Apply directly to the forehead.
[IMGS OFF]
Frits Pots, German surrealist-
[IMGS OFF]
Who is apparently too young to realize the reference was to Steve Martin?
Hint: It was daidai.
it was a really good job though
Cornelius is doing a pretty good Frasier impersonation.