If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Nice Pete and the Garage Chicken Wednesday, August 24, 2005 • read strip Viewing 66 comments:

"Say, this isn't the pantry? Where was my mind? I'll just be leaving now."

" this isn't where i parked my car!

"

oops.

A comment left by dougthehead was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, robobogle, sean1058, sevenarts, SaintTim, equinn2006, NDCaesar, spiderbethlehem, lk, Dwilow, SurelySmack)

the chicken's shirt is very pretty.

I think it is more that he opened the door as soon as realized Nice Pete was going to kill someone, as he didn't start out with the assumption that Nice Pete kills everyone he meets.

Two years later, justice is served.

Nice Pete was just hungry.

I dont care if my soda is a 25 cent one from in front of walmart. You can have none.

I had a witty retort... but got distracted by your avatar.
Curses.

Yours must be a very empty existence, Fattybeaver. Everyone just seems to comment on your avatar. No-one sees the real you.

Large tits eat personalities.

Best Album name ever.

Shit shit shit I need to copy-right that right now .

did you do it yet?

For the sake of the argument, let's say... "yes."

(Ok ok fine I didn't really.God I suck.)

Individuals with large personalities eat tits.

Put 'em in your mouth
put 'em your mouth
and suck 'em suck 'em

Chocolate Salty Balls x2?

I know...

Screw your soda, man. I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE.

DRAINAGE

Nice Pete cannot simply kills. He needs foreplay

A comment left by letterswewrote was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, robobogle, Jesler729, _cheesekayke, newspaperdrone, Setzkin, Dwilow)

The chicken isn't even wearing a shirt.

i think he was roleplaying as if the chicken was a real girl, so he wouldn't blurt out something about wings to his next victim

This is literally disgusting.

bruk? bruuukk?

This gets a 5 from me because of the explanation in the alt text.

When Nice Pete says "Um...Why didn't you laugh?", you sort of get a sinking feeling in your stomach.

This is your cue to run.

Honestly man I think it is really pretty chilling when you find out Nice Pete is saying things to a Lady. You just know .

It is a good rule of thumb that when a psychopath tells you a joke, you had better laugh.

I don't know. I think that a psycho might have trouble telling apart "laughing with" and "laughing at." I think your best bet is just to run from the get go.

don't run..you'll only die tired...

What do you mean I'm funny? You mean the way I talk? Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it? You mean - let me understand this cause I don't - ya know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but - I'm funny how, I mean, funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me?

Hah, one of my favorite quotes to use IRL

You had better fucking well know it's a joke First .

bruk?

SHUT UP JUST SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SUCK SO MUCH
WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU KISS MY ASS!

From now on, when girls don't laugh at my jokes I'm giving them this routine.

I mean I probably won't kill them.

But I will kill a chicken in front of them.

150 years ago that scenario wouldn't have been nearly as intimidating.

I assume 150 years ago, everyone was a farmer... or were hunters. I'd change this whole thing to 20,000 years ago, but what if there were no chickens in your country and - OH GOD JUST SHUT UP!

Woodenteeth... so many priceless gyms of your dialogue, and you present me with... this? Idle banter? It's like you're whoring yourself out for a few cheap laughs.

Don't. Be. Seth. Green.

The More You Know...

I really, really, don't want to be Seth Green.

Meanwhile, Robot Chicken: not really that funny.

It's true - in fact, it's often horribly unfunny. In fact, when I think of the fact that they had to spend a lot of time animating just grossly unfunny scenes, well, it really climbs my prick.

It does keep stop-animators in jobs though, waiting for their next application to France (which is where a really good stop-animation about some weird cyclist training for the Tour de France was made, that I can't remember the name of).

FACT: I used the word "fact" in my previous comment 3 times.

FACT: Repeating words a number of times in two sentences will get you a lower grade on an English paper.

Woodenteeth, you are giving away gyms? Pricelss gyms, filled with dialogue, as vweep has implied? Is this your way of insinuating we are fat? Because that is just uncalled for. UNCALLED FOR, SIR.

*pulls ipod out of his ear, as his stomach jiggles about an orbital trainer* "What was that?"

the Anton Chigurh of Achewood

Just so we have the facts straight: Nice Pete is trying to charm a fully clothed and apparently talking chicken with soda, comments on its shirt, takes it off sometime afterward, is insulted when he doesn't get a reply to his joke, then is cold hard set on committing the murder act upon the chicken for possibly having a low opinion of him and gossiping what all about town.

It's like Law & Order: Criminal Intent but with poultry.

Nice Pete is pretending the chicken is a girl with a pretty shirt.

He has to practice for the off-season

Damn, man, I meant keep his chops up during the off-season.

No one practices for the off-season, dang, man.

I don't particularly understand why so few people enjoyed this comic.

p o u l t r y ;

The chef's secrets have been revealed by Teodor's terrified curiousity.

Tomorrow's recipe: chicken.

Apparently, that whole "conversation" transpired in a completely dark room

Apart from that... light?

The one that Teodor turned on? (see "Klik" last panel)

Talk to you again in 4 months

Dude, that's the door opening. Look at the position of Teodor's body, if he was reaching into the room his hand would be visible.

garage light switches are often inside the house proper. "klik" has historically been used for a light turning on in achewood. plus this is a better strip if the conversation is in the dark

Your views interest me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Who knew serial killing was a seasonal activity?

This is absolutely, without a doubt, my Favorite Nice Pete Strip. This man is a professional. He cares about his work. You will not find this man slacking on his calling for so much as an hour, such is the strength of his convictions. I like how one twist in personality (instead of caring about sciences or arts or such, he cares about murder) takes what could be a great person and turns them into one of the top candidates for Worst Motherfucker Alive.

PS, if you have said basically the exact same thing above me, I apologize.

Jesus, Nice Pete is genuinely terrifying.

How did this pocket of comics I haven't read get overlooked? This feeling is like finding a $20 in and old pair of pants.