catachresis
+103 -0
Close Microsoft Word, Ray. Nothing is happening here.
Close Microsoft Word, Ray. Nothing is happening here.
cailetshadow
+29 -0
Don't discourage him! This could be the world's finest piece of Helicopter Death fanfiction.
Don't discourage him! This could be the world's finest piece of Helicopter Death fanfiction.
farqussus
+21 -0
Nothing can beat the Dickensian detail of Sauron_21's "Man who got sucked through the turbine of an F-14"
Nothing can beat the Dickensian detail of Sauron_21's "Man who got sucked through the turbine of an F-14"
pan-optic
+3 -0
I feel like there's not a lot to say about such an event. My grasp on the physics of such an event, of course, is not the mightiest, but the impression received is that that sort of thing would not leave a lot behind that had a consistency more solid than, say, air freshener.
I feel like there's not a lot to say about such an event. My grasp on the physics of such an event, of course, is not the mightiest, but the impression received is that that sort of thing would not leave a lot behind that had a consistency more solid than, say, air freshener.
homeskool
+3 -1
If I were to write such a thing, it would start much like this:
In the cool early morning sea breeze, I awoke to the sun peeking happily through my window. I donned my uniform and made my way out the deck, where the arrival and departure of jet powered aircraft was a common occurrence. This particular day, however, I was to have an unfortunate inquest with a rather foul-tempered F-14 and his posse, the Twin Turbine Opium Engine Twins. I cannot quite explain exactly how events transpired to contribute to my untimely demise, but I can expound upon how I came to enter and exit promptly through this marvel of -- *whircrunchCRASH* "OH HEAVENS" *whirhummmcrunchbzzzzzzz*
If I were to write such a thing, it would start much like this:
In the cool early morning sea breeze, I awoke to the sun peeking happily through my window. I donned my uniform and made my way out the deck, where the arrival and departure of jet powered aircraft was a common occurrence. This particular day, however, I was to have an unfortunate inquest with a rather foul-tempered F-14 and his posse, the Twin Turbine Opium Engine Twins. I cannot quite explain exactly how events transpired to contribute to my untimely demise, but I can expound upon how I came to enter and exit promptly through this marvel of -- *whircrunchCRASH* "OH HEAVENS" *whirhummmcrunchbzzzzzzz*
invidious
+0 -0
And yet, believe it or not, the dude survived.
Luckily, the plane had just been shut off and the engines were spooling down. They still had just enough suction to draw the poor flight deck sap into the turbine, and his body absorbed most of the rest of it.
Had they been going full-speed, your comment would certainly be horrifyingly accurate.
And yet, believe it or not, the dude survived.
Luckily, the plane had just been shut off and the engines were spooling down. They still had just enough suction to draw the poor flight deck sap into the turbine, and his body absorbed most of the rest of it.
Had they been going full-speed, your comment would certainly be horrifyingly accurate.
dersquirrel
+0 -0
Sauron_21 really jumped the shark with the Dragonball Z crossover in the sequel, though.
Sauron_21 really jumped the shark with the Dragonball Z crossover in the sequel, though.
tekende
+1 -0
Were I to compile a list of my top five favorite Assetbar comments, this comment would be on it.
Were I to compile a list of my top five favorite Assetbar comments, this comment would be on it.
d-pad
+3 -0
This is Ray. Something is always happening.
This is Ray. Something is always happening.
billyamericana
+4 -0
You never can tell someone about something cool without them getting all Jack Palance if they're reading, even if it is just the latest People magazine.
You never can tell someone about something cool without them getting all Jack Palance if they're reading, even if it is just the latest People magazine.
gsail11
+3 -0
Man beef don't read no people magazine
give the guy a little better than that
Man beef don't read no people magazine
give the guy a little better than that
geysershitdick
+0 -0
does this picture exist
does this picture exist
skiddyfisk
+1 -0
yes it does but i am not going to go look for it
yes it does but i am not going to go look for it
djwhiterabbit
+4 -0
i have seen this image. it's actually a series of images. it is just as ray describes it. if anyone's particularly interested, i'll try to track it down again - but i don't recommend being particularly interested.
it makes you feel not unlike this.
i have seen this image. it's actually a series of images. it is just as ray describes it. if anyone's particularly interested, i'll try to track it down again - but i don't recommend being particularly interested.
it makes you feel not unlike this.
joeyramoney
+4 -2
here we go.
here we go.
geysershitdick
+1 -0
I'm scared to click it.
I don't think I'm gonna.
I'm scared to click it.
I don't think I'm gonna.
buttermoths
+0 -0
404. Thank God.
404. Thank God.
salvagebar
+3 -0
It was only 404'd because he added an extra slash at the end. This links to a page that indexes the images, but doesn't have the images themselves, so you get one chance to turn back.
It was only 404'd because he added an extra slash at the end. This links to a page that indexes the images, but doesn't have the images themselves, so you get one chance to turn back.
saint
+0 -0
Thank God for that buffer.
I was this close.
Thank God for that buffer.
I was this close.
senseihollywood
+3 -0
I've seen it too...Rotten.com is full of things I wish I could un-see...
I've seen it too...Rotten.com is full of things I wish I could un-see...
rowboat
+0 -0
If only there was some way to....I don't know.... not go there!
If only there was some way to....I don't know.... not go there!
bucklemyshoe
+0 -0
Who says he plans to go back? He said un-see, not un-plan-to-see
Who says he plans to go back? He said un-see, not un-plan-to-see
rowboat
+0 -0
OK.
OK.
anzio
+0 -0
Wanna know what I wish I could un-see? "Three Guys, One Hammer". Awh man... it's like... it's like it's worse than anything on Rotten.com, and it's worse than Two Girls, One Cup, but it's not as bad as One Guy, One Jar, or that one with the guy and the horse...
But yeah, to spoil the video for you (Unless you really want to watch it, in which I implore that you take caution, as it is considered 'bad for the soul' by many), these two Ukrainian guys kill a guy with a hammer and a screwdriver and film it, and you see the human body do things that are pretty fucking terrible. I watched it, and I will never be the same again.
Wanna know what I wish I could un-see? "Three Guys, One Hammer". Awh man... it's like... it's like it's worse than anything on Rotten.com, and it's worse than Two Girls, One Cup, but it's not as bad as One Guy, One Jar, or that one with the guy and the horse...
But yeah, to spoil the video for you (Unless you really want to watch it, in which I implore that you take caution, as it is considered 'bad for the soul' by many), these two Ukrainian guys kill a guy with a hammer and a screwdriver and film it, and you see the human body do things that are pretty fucking terrible. I watched it, and I will never be the same again.
jackaction
+0 -0
Did you seriously just say that you thought a man getting his face smashed in with a hammer and his stomach shanked with a screwdriver wasn't as bad as a guy shoving a jar up his arse?
Did you seriously just say that you thought a man getting his face smashed in with a hammer and his stomach shanked with a screwdriver wasn't as bad as a guy shoving a jar up his arse?
anzio
+0 -0
I did, though I retract it upon further examination. I'm not sure what I was thinking at the time. Perhaps it did not quite hit me that a man dieing by hammer is much worse then a man shoving a jar into himself.
I did, though I retract it upon further examination. I'm not sure what I was thinking at the time. Perhaps it did not quite hit me that a man dieing by hammer is much worse then a man shoving a jar into himself.
tristanhw
+1 -0
The blade clearly wasn't "sharp as HELL" then.
The blade clearly wasn't "sharp as HELL" then.
red_dawn
+1 -0
Holy shit! The USS Demeter is a real boat (but is a battle damage repair ship rather then a carrier.)
Holy shit! The USS Demeter is a real boat (but is a battle damage repair ship rather then a carrier.)
chrissketch
+6 -0
I love the baffled look on Ray's face in panel 4. Its saying, "Why would my very good friend, Roast Beef, not want to look at this picture of a guy who got killed by a helicopter?"
I love the baffled look on Ray's face in panel 4. Its saying, "Why would my very good friend, Roast Beef, not want to look at this picture of a guy who got killed by a helicopter?"
mjfitzge
+1 -0
i think that's just the uneasy look one gets when seeing someone else's brains everywhere.
i think that's just the uneasy look one gets when seeing someone else's brains everywhere.
cailetshadow
+8 -0
Beef's thought process..Revealed!
Panel 2: huh.
Panel 3: Nope.
Beef's thought process..Revealed!
Panel 2: huh.
Panel 3: Nope.
tagrineth
+7 -0
Beef's eye roll is panel 10 is truly epic.
Beef's eye roll is panel 10 is truly epic.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it does not happen anywhere else.
it does not happen anywhere else.
xiaomimi
+20 -0
Weekend Blogs (Saturday - Monday)
Roast Beef: Got the lamp!
Lyle: 'sfer shit
Molly: The Achewood A-List!...for January 10, 2006.
Nice Pete: You may ask where I am.
Weekend Blogs (Saturday - Monday)
Roast Beef: Got the lamp!
Lyle: 'sfer shit
Molly: The Achewood A-List!...for January 10, 2006.
Nice Pete: You may ask where I am.
drago25
+0 -0
Dude I wanted to see where this was going
Dude I wanted to see where this was going
firesign
+2 -0
I don't fear lames for this since we're on a forum for a comic strip full of good writing, 3 dimensional characters, and good dialogue: regarding the alt text, I have to say that even Ray's writing skills are worlds better than Dan Brown's...
I don't fear lames for this since we're on a forum for a comic strip full of good writing, 3 dimensional characters, and good dialogue: regarding the alt text, I have to say that even Ray's writing skills are worlds better than Dan Brown's...
straw
+4 -0
See, you explained why you don't fear lames for this comment, and indeed you likely will receive none. The Venn diagram of Achewood readers and Dan Brown readers looks like an 8.
See, you explained why you don't fear lames for this comment, and indeed you likely will receive none. The Venn diagram of Achewood readers and Dan Brown readers looks like an 8.
ford
+1 -0
Goddamn Dan Brown for taking several hours of my life with his shitty book.
Goddamn Dan Brown for taking several hours of my life with his shitty book.
stereo
+0 -0
It was pretty much a bonding experience for me. We reveled in how wrong he could be in so many ways, and then poked fun at the diction for extra credit.
It was pretty much a bonding experience for me. We reveled in how wrong he could be in so many ways, and then poked fun at the diction for extra credit.
boredom_man
+0 -0
My son made me read it when it came out. He's 14 now, and deeply embarrassed by this.
My son made me read it when it came out. He's 14 now, and deeply embarrassed by this.
philophobe
+0 -0
Chubby for completely accurate Venn diagram remark.
Chubby for completely accurate Venn diagram remark.
mcnubbins
+0 -2
This exact thing happened to me tonight. I still have the text document open. Wait, why am I tell you this.
This exact thing happened to me tonight. I still have the text document open. Wait, why am I tell you this.
mcnubbins
+0 -2
Give me the benefit of the doubt and chalk this typo-orthographical error up to an ESL thing. That's the reason I can't spell.
Give me the benefit of the doubt and chalk this typo-orthographical error up to an ESL thing. That's the reason I can't spell.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
VLAD?!
VLAD?!
kieranthomson
+0 -0
C'mon Ray. There are no Colonels in the Navy. Seriously dawg.
C'mon Ray. There are no Colonels in the Navy. Seriously dawg.
rowboat
+0 -0
So there we are walkin' down Nine Mile, approachin' the wreck, and we spot a spherical object restin' in the highway. And it AIN'T a part of the car.
So there we are walkin' down Nine Mile, approachin' the wreck, and we spot a spherical object restin' in the highway. And it AIN'T a part of the car.
dasilodavi
+1 -0
The cat tells his friend about a death photo so badly that his friend leaves him.
The cat tells his friend about a death photo so badly that his friend leaves him.
cagliostro
+1 -0
Apart from the whole helicopter death aspect, does anyone else get a faint Wallace & Gromit vibe off this one? I think it's Beef's expressions...
Apart from the whole helicopter death aspect, does anyone else get a faint Wallace & Gromit vibe off this one? I think it's Beef's expressions...
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
Lil' bit, lil' bit....
Lil' bit, lil' bit....
smallberries
+1 -0
The most irritating event that regularly occurs in my daily life is exactly this: being queried from another room to look at something I have zero interest in. I despise YouTube. And memes. Except for Achewood memes.
The most irritating event that regularly occurs in my daily life is exactly this: being queried from another room to look at something I have zero interest in. I despise YouTube. And memes. Except for Achewood memes.
This sums up perfectly what happens when your retarded friends find rotten.com
A comment left by paco was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, NeoNaoNeo, Bananacup, apres)
Or bumper stickers on Facebook.
Now I can't stop looking, damn you!