mattbeetee
+0 -0
And then the whole thing unravels, ending in a tedious inevitability.
Seven dollars?
And then the whole thing unravels, ending in a tedious inevitability.
Seven dollars?
greyfield
+0 -0
Only if you're willing to take Zimbabwean dollars.
Only if you're willing to take Zimbabwean dollars.
cracklewater
+0 -0
The irate turk is an unpleasant semi-sexual act
The irate turk is an unpleasant semi-sexual act
jerkface
+0 -0
hey i have that txt file too
hey i have that txt file too
mg7810
+3 -0
Is that sexxy tho
Is that sexxy tho
nice-on-water
+3 -0
1/2$
1/2$
vexingrupert
+0 -0
Vexingrupert eagerly lames it.
Vexingrupert eagerly lames it.
dickolas_wang
+0 -0
Ouch, said the Specter of Death.
Ouch, said the Specter of Death.
themacktruck
+1 -0
At Comic-Con they will meet the Ghost of Christmas past and find the nearest bar for carbombs.
At Comic-Con they will meet the Ghost of Christmas past and find the nearest bar for carbombs.
rude_mechanical
+0 -0
Chubbied for carbombs - who knew youcould make Guiness even better?
Chubbied for carbombs - who knew youcould make Guiness even better?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I prefer Terrorisms.
https://picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=37
Note: I never had a Terrorism and probably never will.
I prefer Terrorisms.
https://picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=37
Note: I never had a Terrorism and probably never will.
farqussus
+0 -0
lyle has a ways to go
lyle has a ways to go
cbtbone
+1 -0
is that comic written in order, or do you have to rearrange the panels for it to make sense?
is that comic written in order, or do you have to rearrange the panels for it to make sense?
tekende
+0 -0
It's in order. It makes a little more sense if you read the whole story, though. But I think it's like that on purpose, to convey the feeling of being at a party where everyone is drunk.
It's in order. It makes a little more sense if you read the whole story, though. But I think it's like that on purpose, to convey the feeling of being at a party where everyone is drunk.
rowboat
+0 -0
Terrorisms sound like a terrible idea.
Terrorisms sound like a terrible idea.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Vomit knocking other people unconscious is never good.
Vomit knocking other people unconscious is never good.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Or rather the force of it.
Or rather the force of it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Yeah, it's a story, I should've said that. It's also partly a tribute to "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" but it's funny without that too, if Pictures for Sad Children is your thang.
Yeah, it's a story, I should've said that. It's also partly a tribute to "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" but it's funny without that too, if Pictures for Sad Children is your thang.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
PFSC is so my thang.
PFSC is so my thang.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thank God for that.
Thank God for that.
lucidz
+3 -0
Chris has apparently been spying in my window. Only in my room, theres a half empty bottle of jack daniels on the night stand snickering, because it knows ITS the reason.
Jack likes causing marital discord.
Ass.
Chris has apparently been spying in my window. Only in my room, theres a half empty bottle of jack daniels on the night stand snickering, because it knows ITS the reason.
Jack likes causing marital discord.
Ass.
morbo
+1 -0
If Jack Daniels makes you anything less than the man with abilities in your pants, I don't want to know you.
If Jack Daniels makes you anything less than the man with abilities in your pants, I don't want to know you.
rowboat
+0 -0
You don't want to know me.
And you don't understand Jack Daniels.
You don't want to know me.
And you don't understand Jack Daniels.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Yeah man, I can ONLY get it up when I've got half a drunk on.
Yeah man, I can ONLY get it up when I've got half a drunk on.
snookybutts
+0 -0
great strip, funny, yet REAL.
great strip, funny, yet REAL.
tangles
+0 -0
i remember the first time i had awkward post-no-sex conversation: "so, um, no any good jokes?" her: "do you like dead baby jokes?" and then an erection wasn't a problem, which probably says horrible things about me.
i remember the first time i had awkward post-no-sex conversation: "so, um, no any good jokes?" her: "do you like dead baby jokes?" and then an erection wasn't a problem, which probably says horrible things about me.
lacrimus
+14 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar.
None of them can achieve an erection =(
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar.
None of them can achieve an erection =(
jeffspaulding
+25 -0
Bartender turns to the trio and says: Why are you three dressed so fancy?
The three respond: "well if we is impotent, we got to look impotent."
Bartender turns to the trio and says: Why are you three dressed so fancy?
The three respond: "well if we is impotent, we got to look impotent."
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Beef, Drac, an Inuit, and The S of D walk into a bar. Beef drinks himself into a mild stupor while Drac hits on the vaguely good-looking bartender. The Inuit and specter figuratively compare cock size, alienating themselves in the process. The night culminates in an actual swinging dick competition. Dracula wins because, well, fuck... have you seen his dick? I mean, dayum .
Beef, Drac, an Inuit, and The S of D walk into a bar. Beef drinks himself into a mild stupor while Drac hits on the vaguely good-looking bartender. The Inuit and specter figuratively compare cock size, alienating themselves in the process. The night culminates in an actual swinging dick competition. Dracula wins because, well, fuck... have you seen his dick? I mean, dayum .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
A comment left by nice-on-water was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by speccer, flazisismuss, farqussus, dickie_roxx, Lumus, IronDave, logic, wingspan, spicyponyhead)
A comment left by nice-on-water was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by speccer, flazisismuss, farqussus, dickie_roxx, Lumus, IronDave, logic, wingspan, spicyponyhead)
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I expect a equal amount of chubbies and lames. DELIVER ASSETBAR.
I expect a equal amount of chubbies and lames. DELIVER ASSETBAR.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
These things that you create...they are...divine.
These things that you create...they are...divine.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Indeed.
Indeed.
Indeed.
Indeed.
irondave
+0 -0
I don't usually lame stuff like that but I wanted to help you.
I don't usually lame stuff like that but I wanted to help you.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thank you friend.
Thank you friend.
dickie_roxx
+0 -0
Likewise I do not find this lame, but use my laming power to help you achieve your goal.
Likewise I do not find this lame, but use my laming power to help you achieve your goal.
speccer
+0 -0
It's 4-4 now, my good man. I regret having to be one of the lames.
It's 4-4 now, my good man. I regret having to be one of the lames.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It had to be done. Thank you.
It had to be done. Thank you.
wolfensti
+0 -0
damn i tilted the balance
I'm so sorry !
damn i tilted the balance
I'm so sorry !
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:[
:[
wingspan
+0 -0
5. Balance has been restored.
5. Balance has been restored.
wolfensti
+0 -0
*Angel Chorus*
*Angel Chorus*
wolfensti
+0 -0
Until Ganondorf break the seal for the n'th time.
Until Ganondorf break the seal for the n'th time.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I actually can't tell how many chubbies there are, just lames. Because I suck.
I actually can't tell how many chubbies there are, just lames. Because I suck.
wolfensti
+0 -0
you are at 7-6
you are at 7-6
wolfensti
+0 -0
Will Chubbyness vanquish Lameness ?
Will Chubbyness vanquish Lameness ?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And what about Naomi??
Stay tuned for the stunning conclusion next week on
ASS THE ASSETBAR TURNS
And what about Naomi??
Stay tuned for the stunning conclusion next week on
ASS THE ASSETBAR TURNS
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Heheh. "Ass."
Heheh. "Ass."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Titter titter.
Heheh. "Tit."
Titter titter.
Heheh. "Tit."
rowboat
+0 -0
Did somebody say Ganondorf? Better put it in the past tense 'cause I just stuck a sword in his ol' head yesterday. Turned 'is ass into a statue. You don't expect me to believe that he actually returns, do you? Naw.
Did somebody say Ganondorf? Better put it in the past tense 'cause I just stuck a sword in his ol' head yesterday. Turned 'is ass into a statue. You don't expect me to believe that he actually returns, do you? Naw.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He hasn't yet, actually.
He hasn't yet, actually.
rowboat
+0 -0
Thank God.
Thank God.
wolfensti
+0 -0
He's probably working on it as we speak.
He's probably working on it as we speak.
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
Dagnabit! I meant to give this a lame, but i accidentally hit reply instead!
Dagnabit! I meant to give this a lame, but i accidentally hit reply instead!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh shit! Oh goddamn!
Oh shit! Oh goddamn!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
And despite having nothing to say, he speaks anyway.
And despite having nothing to say, he speaks anyway.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Just like both of us. Pointless thread high five, all around.
Just like both of us. Pointless thread high five, all around.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I totally forgot about this and I'm a little disturbed by myself but LOOK 9 CHUBS 'N' LAMES EVEN
I totally forgot about this and I'm a little disturbed by myself but LOOK 9 CHUBS 'N' LAMES EVEN
spicerice
+0 -0
this gets my vote for the $7
this gets my vote for the $7
riazm
+4 -0
Someone place that personal ad and report back on your findings.
Someone place that personal ad and report back on your findings.
quazifuji
+0 -0
While a google search yielded no results, I'm pretty sure personal ads like that already exist.
While a google search yielded no results, I'm pretty sure personal ads like that already exist.
flazisismuss
+11 -0
This should be a powerful lesson to the ladies. It isn't your fault, and we're not cheating on you. We're probably just dying.
This should be a powerful lesson to the ladies. It isn't your fault, and we're not cheating on you. We're probably just dying.
jaldor
+5 -0
Molly really ain't helping the situation, which is strange because she's usually on the ball when it comes to psycho-emotional crap. I mean, that's why she married Roast Beef, right?
Molly really ain't helping the situation, which is strange because she's usually on the ball when it comes to psycho-emotional crap. I mean, that's why she married Roast Beef, right?
cracklewater
+0 -0
Good point. There have been a few times when Molly's patience has understandably worn thin over Beef's neuroses.
Here she be exacerbating shit, which seems a bit out of character for her.
Good point. There have been a few times when Molly's patience has understandably worn thin over Beef's neuroses.
Here she be exacerbating shit, which seems a bit out of character for her.
utv
+0 -0
No way is Molly exacerbating shit on purpose. She's getting defensive because she (like lots of girls) worries that the problem is with her.
No way is Molly exacerbating shit on purpose. She's getting defensive because she (like lots of girls) worries that the problem is with her.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Molly is bloaty.
Molly is bloaty.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Does Beef have his red wings?
Does Beef have his red wings?
niggar
+0 -0
You've not met many girls, have you.
You've not met many girls, have you.
daedala_x
+37 -0
So Molly is exacerbating shit simply by having her own cares? I mean basically it is a main concern of women whether they will still be wood-worthy as the years progress, you all getting a bill on your credit card for $29.99 for BarelyLegalTeens.com, with the "BarelyLegalTeens" part whited out and with "PBS Veiwers Like You" written in. Next he's bringing over some bright-faced female students, and you don't say nothing because that would be admitting that you know that he knows you're Undesirable, which is too humiliating for even you to bear. You're cooking them dinner and you excuse yourself from the table after serving them to go eat in your room; you know they don't want you to be there. Next morning she smiles good-naturedly and waves bye to you and you go upstairs and wash the sheets cuz you know it'll stain if it stays too long.
So Molly is exacerbating shit simply by having her own cares? I mean basically it is a main concern of women whether they will still be wood-worthy as the years progress, you all getting a bill on your credit card for $29.99 for BarelyLegalTeens.com, with the "BarelyLegalTeens" part whited out and with "PBS Veiwers Like You" written in. Next he's bringing over some bright-faced female students, and you don't say nothing because that would be admitting that you know that he knows you're Undesirable, which is too humiliating for even you to bear. You're cooking them dinner and you excuse yourself from the table after serving them to go eat in your room; you know they don't want you to be there. Next morning she smiles good-naturedly and waves bye to you and you go upstairs and wash the sheets cuz you know it'll stain if it stays too long.
vheissu
+2 -0
Is this the saddest thing?
Is this the saddest thing?
jeffspaulding
+13 -0
No, this is the hottest thing.
No, this is the hottest thing.
jeffspaulding
+0 -2
I need to find a woman like that. My wife is of the Lorena Bobbit school of thought -- "if I can't have it, no one will." I wouldn't get through the door with a young female (not that I won't fantasize about it tonight).
I need to find a woman like that. My wife is of the Lorena Bobbit school of thought -- "if I can't have it, no one will." I wouldn't get through the door with a young female (not that I won't fantasize about it tonight).
utv
+9 -0
I automatically read the first part of this comment to the tune of Jesse's Girl.
I automatically read the first part of this comment to the tune of Jesse's Girl.
cbtbone
+1 -0
I would tell you that I love you, utv, but the point is probably moot.
I would tell you that I love you, utv, but the point is probably moot.
vheissu
+0 -0
I was going to make a castration joke, then I realized that it was implicit in your reference. That is the story of my near-failure.
Since she cut it off right after he raped her, I would say that wouldn't be what was going through her mind? More like "If he makes me, I'll make it so he can't." No? Of course, these things are never simple.
If your marriage is as bad as Lorena Bobbit's, GTFO.
Also, castration should never be a joke .
Shudder.
I was going to make a castration joke, then I realized that it was implicit in your reference. That is the story of my near-failure.
Since she cut it off right after he raped her, I would say that wouldn't be what was going through her mind? More like "If he makes me, I'll make it so he can't." No? Of course, these things are never simple.
If your marriage is as bad as Lorena Bobbit's, GTFO.
Also, castration should never be a joke .
Shudder.
belgand
+0 -0
Seriously, the dude's wife is threatening castration. Are you gonna split hairs?
Seriously, the dude's wife is threatening castration. Are you gonna split hairs?
biznart
+1 -0
You just made me feel like shit. Chubby for that.
You just made me feel like shit. Chubby for that.
puguglypress
+0 -0
You just made me snort in a public library, and now I look no better than the homeless people on either side of me, looking at porn. Chubby for that.
You just made me snort in a public library, and now I look no better than the homeless people on either side of me, looking at porn. Chubby for that.
hedonismbot
+6 -0
Odd, I was just discussing this with some local nuns (actually, with my wife, she can't get it up). It's a terrible circle of pain. The guy can't perform. The woman wonders if it is her fault. Her becomes very anxious that if he can't get it up, she'll become depressed and doubt his fidelity. She gets really ashamed for making him worse with her cares. He tries to comfort her, but the snuggling doesn't make him hard, so she gets more upset. He gets mad that this is so frustrating. She cries and they sleep in separate rooms. He watches porn and it gets hard. He doubts that he's a good man, and she cries herself to sleep. The relationship is never the same.
Later that same night, Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Spectre of Death all sneak in and plug the wife up like you see in Tijuana.
It's good to see you back and posting Daedela.
Odd, I was just discussing this with some local nuns (actually, with my wife, she can't get it up). It's a terrible circle of pain. The guy can't perform. The woman wonders if it is her fault. Her becomes very anxious that if he can't get it up, she'll become depressed and doubt his fidelity. She gets really ashamed for making him worse with her cares. He tries to comfort her, but the snuggling doesn't make him hard, so she gets more upset. He gets mad that this is so frustrating. She cries and they sleep in separate rooms. He watches porn and it gets hard. He doubts that he's a good man, and she cries herself to sleep. The relationship is never the same.
Later that same night, Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Spectre of Death all sneak in and plug the wife up like you see in Tijuana.
It's good to see you back and posting Daedela.
daedala_x
+0 -0
what you have described here is almost too accurate for comfort, as was this entire strip.
you're probably familiar with
[IMGS OFF]
what you have described here is almost too accurate for comfort, as was this entire strip.
you're probably familiar with
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+3 -0
What is that? A guava? I don't have much experience with vaginal symbols, but I can't think of any logical reason whatsoever that they should appear to contain a vast cluster of shimmering black spider eggs.
What is that? A guava? I don't have much experience with vaginal symbols, but I can't think of any logical reason whatsoever that they should appear to contain a vast cluster of shimmering black spider eggs.
steev_dayv
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
YAY WHITE NINJAAAAA
YAY WHITE NINJAAAAA
sje46
+0 -0
But if shelly would just come back, everything will be alright.
But if shelly would just come back, everything will be alright.
sje46
+0 -0
No one understands my awesome reference :(
No one understands my awesome reference :(
steev_dayv
+0 -0
That is sad...
That is sad...
wozzeck
+0 -0
One of the original cover concepts had the banana penetrating a rosebud, but the publishers that it wouldn't sell at Walmart .
One of the original cover concepts had the banana penetrating a rosebud, but the publishers that it wouldn't sell at Walmart .
kickstart
+0 -0
Wow, that's the best "Google names your band" - Flickr album cover maker thing I've ever seen.
Wow, that's the best "Google names your band" - Flickr album cover maker thing I've ever seen.
rowboat
+0 -0
Wow. That very book (well, pre-MS Paint, obviously) helped me make a relationship that would've ended in two weeks last three months. There was no reason for this person to stay with me other than the fact that I had read and understood this book and had put into practice its teachings. I'm sure it's the only thing she misses about me.
Wow. That very book (well, pre-MS Paint, obviously) helped me make a relationship that would've ended in two weeks last three months. There was no reason for this person to stay with me other than the fact that I had read and understood this book and had put into practice its teachings. I'm sure it's the only thing she misses about me.
wozzeck
+2 -0
When we are married, daedala_x, I shall attend to my annual Matrimonial Duties, but otherwise you are to leave me to my pipe, the hunt, and the nubile coeds I have volunteered to assist with their Daddy Issues.
When we are married, daedala_x, I shall attend to my annual Matrimonial Duties, but otherwise you are to leave me to my pipe, the hunt, and the nubile coeds I have volunteered to assist with their Daddy Issues.
belgand
+0 -0
Daddy Issues are all well and good, but I suspect you will prefer to avoid the ones with issues of Daddy as they are likely not what you seek.
Daddy Issues are all well and good, but I suspect you will prefer to avoid the ones with issues of Daddy as they are likely not what you seek.
tekende
+0 -0
I have yet to date a girl who does not have daddy issues. I'm beginning to think that daddy issues are standard-issue, and no girl is complete without them.
Daddy issues are not well and good.
I have yet to date a girl who does not have daddy issues. I'm beginning to think that daddy issues are standard-issue, and no girl is complete without them.
Daddy issues are not well and good.
rowboat
+5 -0
I just want you to know that at this very instant in the "most recent comments" section on top of the strip it has your avatar next to the words "I have yet to date a girl..."
I just want you to know that.
I just want you to know that at this very instant in the "most recent comments" section on top of the strip it has your avatar next to the words "I have yet to date a girl..."
I just want you to know that.
tekende
+0 -0
That is delightful.
That is delightful.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It is ok tekende, you are just a late bloomer!
Seriously though, I've met girls without actual (or apparent) daddy issues and they try to hard to act like the girls that do.
It is ok tekende, you are just a late bloomer!
Seriously though, I've met girls without actual (or apparent) daddy issues and they try to hard to act like the girls that do.
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't think I'd know a daddy issue if one bit me on the nose. We don't have daddies where I come from.
I don't think I'd know a daddy issue if one bit me on the nose. We don't have daddies where I come from.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is that an issue?
Is that an issue?
rowboat
+0 -0
Don't feel like one.
Don't feel like one.
vheissu
+0 -0
No .
You're just attracted to girls with family baggage. I have had this problem until the most recent one. I never want to go back. Just the basic trust issues are enough to implode a relationship with absolutely no assistance from you!
No .
You're just attracted to girls with family baggage. I have had this problem until the most recent one. I never want to go back. Just the basic trust issues are enough to implode a relationship with absolutely no assistance from you!
tekende
+0 -0
I just don't understand why it keeps happening that way!
I just don't understand why it keeps happening that way!
courtland
+2 -1
You have to remember that Molly is a lady. Despite Molly's rather innate ability to ease a neurotic Beef, when a lady has the opportunity to both question her own beauty and accuse you of having an affair by all means she will pounce like a cheetah on a helpless antelope, rendered immobile by the injury and shame of not being able to achieve an erection.
You have to remember that Molly is a lady. Despite Molly's rather innate ability to ease a neurotic Beef, when a lady has the opportunity to both question her own beauty and accuse you of having an affair by all means she will pounce like a cheetah on a helpless antelope, rendered immobile by the injury and shame of not being able to achieve an erection.
belgand
+1 -0
I have casually referred to fucking all sorts of random women while my girlfriend is out during the day. She believes that I am lying as a form of amusement. This is the true way to handle it.
I have casually referred to fucking all sorts of random women while my girlfriend is out during the day. She believes that I am lying as a form of amusement. This is the true way to handle it.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
She can guide toast-eating but if she thinks the problem is with her she becomes the toast-non-eater.
She can guide toast-eating but if she thinks the problem is with her she becomes the toast-non-eater.
tangles
+0 -0
give her a break. she want beef penis and is not getting any, and it is throwing her game off. besides, if molly never got pissed at beef then we would have no punchlines
give her a break. she want beef penis and is not getting any, and it is throwing her game off. besides, if molly never got pissed at beef then we would have no punchlines
sncether
+1 -0
please promise you will never say "beef penis" again
please promise you will never say "beef penis" again
cbtbone
+0 -0
Agreed. The correct term is Dracula.
Agreed. The correct term is Dracula.
octafish
+2 -0
Can't we allow "Hot Beef Injection"? Just this once?
Can't we allow "Hot Beef Injection"? Just this once?
rowboat
+0 -0
Hmm. I suppose...
Hmm. I suppose...
plummet
+0 -0
Peef Benis?
Peef Benis?
biznart
+0 -0
I attempted to chubby this, but it appears I have already done so. I thought you should know.
I attempted to chubby this, but it appears I have already done so. I thought you should know.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
She's probably just upset that she didn't get fucked.
She's probably just upset that she didn't get fucked.
belgand
+3 -0
I blame Beef and his cares more than anything. In my experience most women tend to prefer oral sex. Beef should be attending to his needs. It will demonstrate that he still has cares for Molly and it might help get him into position for the final round. If it does not then, well, it is only his problem.
I blame Beef and his cares more than anything. In my experience most women tend to prefer oral sex. Beef should be attending to his needs. It will demonstrate that he still has cares for Molly and it might help get him into position for the final round. If it does not then, well, it is only his problem.
vheissu
+0 -0
Belgand tells a most profound truth on how to avoid the very situation depicted here. Of course, an understanding lady will know that there are times when your little man is not being a team player.
Belgand tells a most profound truth on how to avoid the very situation depicted here. Of course, an understanding lady will know that there are times when your little man is not being a team player.
belgand
+0 -0
Well, yeah, that's the fundamental issue. It is her job to be understanding and your job to find a way to make it happen for her regardless.
Frankly they're both dysfunctional here. Beef is self-obsessed with his own problem, ignoring Molly's concerns and needs. Molly, in turn, is only briefly understanding before launching into her own deep cares despite Beef's protestations.
Well, yeah, that's the fundamental issue. It is her job to be understanding and your job to find a way to make it happen for her regardless.
Frankly they're both dysfunctional here. Beef is self-obsessed with his own problem, ignoring Molly's concerns and needs. Molly, in turn, is only briefly understanding before launching into her own deep cares despite Beef's protestations.
rowboat
+0 -0
It is the destiny of those with weird willies to master the arts of the tongue. That, or learn to live alone.
It is the destiny of those with weird willies to master the arts of the tongue. That, or learn to live alone.
belgand
+0 -0
Plus some ladies don't get off otherwise. Don't know what their deal is. Tiny girl-penis perhaps? No idea. Gotta put in extra work to make it happen.
Plus some ladies don't get off otherwise. Don't know what their deal is. Tiny girl-penis perhaps? No idea. Gotta put in extra work to make it happen.
steev_dayv
+2 -0
I've never considered it extra work. I try to keep the whole package each time I have sex. Then I like to throw a curve ball, like an unannounced thumb in the ass, or cumming in her ear.
I've never considered it extra work. I try to keep the whole package each time I have sex. Then I like to throw a curve ball, like an unannounced thumb in the ass, or cumming in her ear.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Keeping thing's fresh, you know
Keeping thing's fresh, you know
kickstart
+1 -0
Keeping the thingie fresh specifically
Keeping the thingie fresh specifically
steev_dayv
+2 -0
Maybe Dracula is bored of going in the same old coffin.
Maybe Dracula is bored of going in the same old coffin.
seikel
+0 -0
A comment left by seikel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by flazisismuss, esselfortium, _cheesekayke, jaldor, greyfield, morbo)
A comment left by seikel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by flazisismuss, esselfortium, _cheesekayke, jaldor, greyfield, morbo)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I bet that lame is from someone who thinks you're just being racist.
I bet that lame is from someone who thinks you're just being racist.
rowboat
+0 -0
I hope it's because he just said that under the last strip and it had nothing to do with anything the first time, either. I need to go back and find some strips I forgot to rate. That definitely needs another lame.
I hope it's because he just said that under the last strip and it had nothing to do with anything the first time, either. I need to go back and find some strips I forgot to rate. That definitely needs another lame.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I didn't see that.
I didn't see that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
...so I have no opinion?
...so I have no opinion?
rowboat
+0 -0
Correct.
Correct.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I wasn't really asking, I was nervously finishing my thought. So.
I wasn't really asking, I was nervously finishing my thought. So.
rowboat
+0 -0
Incorrect.
Incorrect.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:[
:[
biznart
+0 -0
I just figured it was three rock and roll faggots who didn't appreciate the mistake.
I just figured it was three rock and roll faggots who didn't appreciate the mistake.
octafish
+0 -0
Jimi Hendrix, Jesus Christ, Grandma, or Jackson Pollock? You know she got big, well she's gonna get bigger.
Jimi Hendrix, Jesus Christ, Grandma, or Jackson Pollock? You know she got big, well she's gonna get bigger.
slodowy_slicer
+1 -0
She should shine that lamp under the covers.
She should shine that lamp under the covers.
hamscout
+8 -0
...cures S.O. S.O.F.T. in seconds!
...cures S.O. S.O.F.T. in seconds!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I don't "lol"...but in this case, I do.
I don't "lol"...but in this case, I do.
slodowy_slicer
+3 -0
Somnolent Occultist From Transylvania?
Somnolent Occultist From Transylvania?
foea
+0 -0
Or break out the special cheap-looking-hooker shoes.
Or break out the special cheap-looking-hooker shoes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Except Dracula can't be exposed to sunlight, baby! MUHAHAHAHA!
Except Dracula can't be exposed to sunlight, baby! MUHAHAHAHA!
relaxing
+12 -0
Q: What's the difference between anxiety and panic?
A: Anxiety is the first time you can't get it up the second time. Panic is the second time you can't get it up the first time.
Q: What's the difference between anxiety and panic?
A: Anxiety is the first time you can't get it up the second time. Panic is the second time you can't get it up the first time.
fallow_fields
+1 -0
Roast Beef walks into a bar to meet an Inuit Vampire about a Death Horse. He meets a mage at the counter, who offers to tell Beef the meaning of life. Just as the mage is about to reveal his secret, he's mauled and eaten by a shaggy dog
Roast Beef walks into a bar to meet an Inuit Vampire about a Death Horse. He meets a mage at the counter, who offers to tell Beef the meaning of life. Just as the mage is about to reveal his secret, he's mauled and eaten by a shaggy dog
spinynorman
+10 -0
There was a time a buddy and me split a bottle of Bulleit in about an hour and watched The Proposition. I vaguely remember my girlfriend coming over at the end, and blacked out most of the rest.
What I do remember was my buddy sleazily hitting on my girlfriend and me getting downright murderous about it. He'd always apologize and then forget later and offer her a backrub. Other foolishness occurred, including him sleeping on the kitchen floor and me making a damn fool out of myself in front of the pizza guy. Upon reviewing my behavior the next day I said, "Well, at least I didn't try and make it with you with him in the apartment."
My girlfriend just got this sort of look in her face. My heart dropped.
"I didn't," I said. "Did I?"
"Well," she said. "Not... not really."
"What does not really mean?"
"It means... you weren't exactly able to complete that transaction."
...yeah.
This life lesson on whiskydick has been brought to you by Coleman's Chili. Coleman's Chili - You'll Hate Yourself For It.
There was a time a buddy and me split a bottle of Bulleit in about an hour and watched The Proposition. I vaguely remember my girlfriend coming over at the end, and blacked out most of the rest.
What I do remember was my buddy sleazily hitting on my girlfriend and me getting downright murderous about it. He'd always apologize and then forget later and offer her a backrub. Other foolishness occurred, including him sleeping on the kitchen floor and me making a damn fool out of myself in front of the pizza guy. Upon reviewing my behavior the next day I said, "Well, at least I didn't try and make it with you with him in the apartment."
My girlfriend just got this sort of look in her face. My heart dropped.
"I didn't," I said. "Did I?"
"Well," she said. "Not... not really."
"What does not really mean?"
"It means... you weren't exactly able to complete that transaction."
...yeah.
This life lesson on whiskydick has been brought to you by Coleman's Chili. Coleman's Chili - You'll Hate Yourself For It.
desert_donkey
+1 -0
at least it wasn't a FOOT rub.. then you'da had to throw your roommate off a fourth story balcony.
and The Proposition would be enough to any sex drive. jeez.. over the top violence. of course if you LIKE that kinda thing, *BOING*
at least it wasn't a FOOT rub.. then you'da had to throw your roommate off a fourth story balcony.
and The Proposition would be enough to any sex drive. jeez.. over the top violence. of course if you LIKE that kinda thing, *BOING*
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yeah, but for drinking whisky in the middle of the day it's prime material.
Yeah, but for drinking whisky in the middle of the day it's prime material.
lynnym
+0 -0
Ha! I get it.
Ha! I get it.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
"Hey baby... I knnow you like rrole-play, so you pr, pretend to be Ememily Watssson and I'll prrretend to be an, an, an... Australian psycho killer rapist. K?"
I was there. Watching.
"Hey baby... I knnow you like rrole-play, so you pr, pretend to be Ememily Watssson and I'll prrretend to be an, an, an... Australian psycho killer rapist. K?"
I was there. Watching.
utv
+0 -0
*Kahlua Cock
At least in Achewood, whiskeydick is a term reserved for those with the abilities in their pants.
*Kahlua Cock
At least in Achewood, whiskeydick is a term reserved for those with the abilities in their pants.
utv
+0 -0
[IMG]https://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2153/whiskey1.th.png[/IMG
[IMG]https://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2153/whiskey1.th.png[/IMG
utv
+4 -0
Goddammit, I was golden until today.
[URL=https://img408.imageshack.us/my.php?image=whiskey1.png][IMGS OFF]
Goddammit, I was golden until today.
[URL=https://img408.imageshack.us/my.php?image=whiskey1.png][IMGS OFF]
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
chubs for not being a quitter!
chubs for not being a quitter!
octafish
+0 -0
Wait, you tried to boom boom shake the room in front off the Pizza Guy . You've been watching too much porno when you expect the pizza guy to get involved.
Wait, you tried to boom boom shake the room in front off the Pizza Guy . You've been watching too much porno when you expect the pizza guy to get involved.
rowboat
+0 -0
My love of pizza and my hatred of other peoples' dicks makes that shit worse than beastiality porn in my book.
My love of pizza and my hatred of other peoples' dicks makes that shit worse than beastiality porn in my book.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What a gal. She could have told spinynorman he tried to boom-boom the Pizza Guy .
What a gal. She could have told spinynorman he tried to boom-boom the Pizza Guy .
desert_donkey
+0 -0
hey Beef, it happend to Dirk Diggler.
molly is looking rather ugly these days tho :@
hey Beef, it happend to Dirk Diggler.
molly is looking rather ugly these days tho :@
belgand
+0 -0
Larger cocks are almost always harder to get up. You need a lot more blood pressure flowing down there to keep it going and many of the largest are never quite rock-hard, but always a bit soft.
Larger cocks are almost always harder to get up. You need a lot more blood pressure flowing down there to keep it going and many of the largest are never quite rock-hard, but always a bit soft.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
[bravado] Oh, that explains it [/bravado]
[bravado] Oh, that explains it [/bravado]
belgand
+0 -0
I speak not from personal experience, but from things I've heard from various porn starlets over the years.
I speak not from personal experience, but from things I've heard from various porn starlets over the years.
rowboat
+2 -0
Oh, we know, man. We know.
Oh, we know, man. We know.
fermatprime
+0 -0
man how come comic-con always gotta be mentioned in connexion with beef's ROCK HARD CAT COCK
or i guess not in this case
man how come comic-con always gotta be mentioned in connexion with beef's ROCK HARD CAT COCK
or i guess not in this case
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Comic-con is all about rock hard cat cock. For me at least.
Comic-con is all about rock hard cat cock. For me at least.
daidai
+0 -0
Dude, comic-con is the convention after that one.
Dude, comic-con is the convention after that one.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Catdick-con?
Catdick-con?
autrepoupee
+1 -0
ROCK HARD CAT COCK COMICON SHOW ME SOME NAKED
ROCK HARD CAT COCK COMICON SHOW ME SOME NAKED
theguitarhero
+2 -0
JUST ANYTHING NAKED REALLY IM KINDA IMPARTIAL.
JUST ANYTHING NAKED REALLY IM KINDA IMPARTIAL.
emosexy
+0 -0
LOVE COMIC-CON
SO MOIST
LOVE COMIC-CON
SO MOIST
tekende
+0 -0
Moist with the sweat of excited, overweight fanboys
Moist with the sweat of excited, overweight fanboys
catgrl131
+3 -0
OH BABAY [IMGS OFF]
OH BABAY [IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -0
Those things are just like a big FUCK YOU to everything on earth.
Those things are just like a big FUCK YOU to everything on earth.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh that is mega nasty yo, that is...cat shit.
My girlfriend wants to get one of those, I told her I would leave her if that thing ever graced our living facilities.
Oh that is mega nasty yo, that is...cat shit.
My girlfriend wants to get one of those, I told her I would leave her if that thing ever graced our living facilities.
wolfensti
+2 -0
Disgusting cat. Cat are made to be furry, agile or lazy. Vagina-torsoed cat are a big no
Disgusting cat. Cat are made to be furry, agile or lazy. Vagina-torsoed cat are a big no
wolfensti
+0 -0
Also i call shotgun on vaginatorsoed as a neologism. It's clearly bound for glory in the fields of english
Also i call shotgun on vaginatorsoed as a neologism. It's clearly bound for glory in the fields of english
belgand
+0 -1
Many North Americans these days are certainly getting fat enough to be classified as vagina torsos. You shall have my support in this endeavor.
Many North Americans these days are certainly getting fat enough to be classified as vagina torsos. You shall have my support in this endeavor.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Naked mole... cats?
Naked mole... cats?
kickstart
+0 -0
I....love the nakers cats. I think I love them even more because so many people think they are ugly and evil. (I'm such a hipster d-bag, ugh)
I....love the nakers cats. I think I love them even more because so many people think they are ugly and evil. (I'm such a hipster d-bag, ugh)
shutup_shutup
+1 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. Roast Beef orders a Guiness. Dracula orders a bloody Mary. The Inuit orders a hot toddy. The Spectre of Death just stares at all of them, waiting for them to drink enough that he can take their souls.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. Roast Beef orders a Guiness. Dracula orders a bloody Mary. The Inuit orders a hot toddy. The Spectre of Death just stares at all of them, waiting for them to drink enough that he can take their souls.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
The inuit orders the most disgusting drink known to man
The inuit orders the most disgusting drink known to man
buckmulligan
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Dracula says: what are you wankers complaining about; I'm the one stuck being a
euphemism for penis.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Dracula says: what are you wankers complaining about; I'm the one stuck being a
euphemism for penis.
pppoa
+1 -0
I'm still not sure where I stand on having a penis with its own appellation, but I think the woman who named mine "Vlad The Impaler" did a better job than whoever named Beef's "Dracula". I may be biased, though.
I'm still not sure where I stand on having a penis with its own appellation, but I think the woman who named mine "Vlad The Impaler" did a better job than whoever named Beef's "Dracula". I may be biased, though.
fermatprime
+1 -0
Chubby for being the same damn thing.
Chubby for being the same damn thing.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
If Beef's stomach talks to him, why doesn't his dick? I know I've spoken to my dick on more than a few occasions. Being a character in a webcomic, Beef's dick very well could talk back.
Does his dick get depressed? Does it want to be pressed?
If Beef's stomach talks to him, why doesn't his dick? I know I've spoken to my dick on more than a few occasions. Being a character in a webcomic, Beef's dick very well could talk back.
Does his dick get depressed? Does it want to be pressed?
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
Can his dick bite through a piece of toast? Does it want to participate in a great outdoor fight?
Can his dick bite through a piece of toast? Does it want to participate in a great outdoor fight?
autrepoupee
+1 -0
i take mass umbrage with the fleecy who named my dingle kevin
i take mass umbrage with the fleecy who named my dingle kevin
biznart
+1 -0
Is that really its nickname, though, or is Beef just calling it Dracula in this instance because its refusal to rise from the grave is sucking the life out of the bedroom?
Is that really its nickname, though, or is Beef just calling it Dracula in this instance because its refusal to rise from the grave is sucking the life out of the bedroom?
biznart
+0 -0
I forgot about the happiness lamp/purple pumps situation. I will take my lashes now.
I forgot about the happiness lamp/purple pumps situation. I will take my lashes now.
kickstart
+1 -0
I know you're not actually the lady in your icon, but the bit about taking the lashes reminded me of Oprah's whip-scarred back at the beginning of Beloved. Chilling.
I know you're not actually the lady in your icon, but the bit about taking the lashes reminded me of Oprah's whip-scarred back at the beginning of Beloved. Chilling.
shaggy23
+0 -0
i think this is just one-off nomenclature for beef's penis.
i think this is just one-off nomenclature for beef's penis.
invidious
+0 -0
For a comic that births witty aphorisms unto the world as frequently as you hear Monty Python quotes at Comic-Con, "put me in a canoe and send me out past the tide" is one of the best ever.
For a comic that births witty aphorisms unto the world as frequently as you hear Monty Python quotes at Comic-Con, "put me in a canoe and send me out past the tide" is one of the best ever.
shaggy23
+0 -0
Dead Man anyone?
Dead Man anyone?
quietwyatt
+26 -1
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. The bartender looks at all four of them and says, "Hey, waaaait a minute. One of you guys totally doesn't belong in Beef's pants." Beef, Dracula and Specter look at each other and gasp, "I-NUIT!"
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. The bartender looks at all four of them and says, "Hey, waaaait a minute. One of you guys totally doesn't belong in Beef's pants." Beef, Dracula and Specter look at each other and gasp, "I-NUIT!"
belgand
+1 -0
This place is turning into a gorram comedy workshop today. Unless there were a large number of previously-existing Inuit jokes and such I think we're really putting in some solid work. This is where the jokes of the future will be born.
This place is turning into a gorram comedy workshop today. Unless there were a large number of previously-existing Inuit jokes and such I think we're really putting in some solid work. This is where the jokes of the future will be born.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Now THAT'S a comic.
Yes, it is a comic indeed.
Now THAT'S a comic.
Yes, it is a comic indeed.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Also:
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. The bartender goes "What a crazy buncha guys!" They all laugh.
Also:
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. The bartender goes "What a crazy buncha guys!" They all laugh.
speccer
+2 -0
Achewood is performed in front of a live studio audience.
Achewood is performed in front of a live studio audience.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+6 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+1 -0
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Sit, Ubu, sit.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Good dog.
Shit, that would've been a good one to do.
Good dog.
Shit, that would've been a good one to do.
irondave
+0 -0
Good night, Mr. Walters.
Good night, Mr. Walters.
aperson
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I suurrre did!
I suurrre did!
raticus
+0 -0
You gotta animate it before someone else does, NOW!
All your work is just sitting there all vulnerable-like. They'll steal your chubs!
You gotta animate it before someone else does, NOW!
All your work is just sitting there all vulnerable-like. They'll steal your chubs!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I can't animate anyway so whatever. We all know IIIII started it.
I can't animate anyway so whatever. We all know IIIII started it.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+4 -0
and all of them:
[IMGS OFF]
and all of them:
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This was a joint effort so all the chubbies it gets should be divided 4 ways.
This was a joint effort so all the chubbies it gets should be divided 4 ways.
belgand
+1 -0
Like at an orgy?
Like at an orgy?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Like an orgy.
Like an orgy.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
It really is more logistical.
It really is more logistical.
wolfensti
+0 -0
When i say Ray, i hear Bender voice.
When i say Ray, i hear Bender voice.
hamscout
+24 -0
a little rerun for you...
[IMGS OFF]
a little rerun for you...
[IMGS OFF]
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
hamscout easily claims a chubby from me.
hamscout easily claims a chubby from me.
rowboat
+0 -0
You just keep throwin' that up in different places and I'll just keep throwin' chubbies at it. It's that simple.
You just keep throwin' that up in different places and I'll just keep throwin' chubbies at it. It's that simple.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah. it's like me and daidai's empty Nice Pete comments. i can't chubby it just once.
(that's what i told her.)
yeah. it's like me and daidai's empty Nice Pete comments. i can't chubby it just once.
(that's what i told her.)
daidai
+3 -0
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah, i made you do it. and i don't feel bad about it at all.
yeah, i made you do it. and i don't feel bad about it at all.
mattylite
+1 -0
Man, all these put mine to shame. But yet mine is the only one that gives me a boner:
[IMGS OFF]
Man, all these put mine to shame. But yet mine is the only one that gives me a boner:
[IMGS OFF]
steev_dayv
+0 -0
There's that rock hard cat cock I'm cravin'
There's that rock hard cat cock I'm cravin'
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You ARE a comic! Yes you areee! Yes you areee!
You ARE a comic! Yes you areee! Yes you areee!
tekende
+0 -0
It's so soft, like a baby lamb!
It's so soft, like a baby lamb!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Quick! Catch it and pet it before it runs away!
Quick! Catch it and pet it before it runs away!
belgand
+1 -0
That was Beef's problem.
That was Beef's problem.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
is.
is his problem.
is.
is his problem.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Always.
It will always be his problem.
Always.
It will always be his problem.
belgand
+0 -0
I cannot comment on this particular moment. Right now he might have a raging erection like a Soviet-era housing block.
I cannot comment on this particular moment. Right now he might have a raging erection like a Soviet-era housing block.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i wasn't aware the USSR was into baby-makin'.
i wasn't aware the USSR was into baby-makin'.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well you know, the Ukraine girls really knock me out (they leave the West behind), and Moscow girls make me sing and shot.
Well you know, the Ukraine girls really knock me out (they leave the West behind), and Moscow girls make me sing and shot.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Quote:
Yes this is exactly what happens to you in Moscow.
Quote:
shot
Yes this is exactly what happens to you in Moscow.
octafish
+0 -0
Nyet singing! *KLOODGE*
Nyet singing! *KLOODGE*
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What exactly did you shoot me with that goes KLOODGE?
What exactly did you shoot me with that goes KLOODGE?
irondave
+0 -0
It is a gun that shoots half-assed IT solutions.
It is a gun that shoots half-assed IT solutions.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ha ha! WHOOPSIE! Ha ha ha!
[IMGS OFF]
Ha ha! WHOOPSIE! Ha ha ha!
[IMGS OFF]
belgand
+0 -0
They are all about erections, however.
They are all about erections, however.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What isn't about erections, is what I want to know.
What isn't about erections, is what I want to know.
rowboat
+0 -0
Your face when I see it has nothing to do with erections.
Your face when I see it has nothing to do with erections.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I can't tell if that was an insult but I'll take it like it is one.
I can't tell if that was an insult but I'll take it like it is one.
rowboat
+0 -0
It's only an insult if you wish that your face gave me a boner.
It's only an insult if you wish that your face gave me a boner.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't.
I don't.
rowboat
+0 -0
Then it's not.
Then it's not.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Excellent.
Excellent.
belgand
+1 -0
Ironically the planning commission seems to be quite down on them and is actively working to prevent any new building projects.
Ironically the planning commission seems to be quite down on them and is actively working to prevent any new building projects.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well I mean look at last quarter's numbers and it's clear to see why.
Well I mean look at last quarter's numbers and it's clear to see why.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Goddamnit but Onstad uses that closeup Beef panel three times and the closeup Molly one twice.
Goddamnit but Onstad uses that closeup Beef panel three times and the closeup Molly one twice.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that dude is reachin'.
that dude is reachin'.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh but he's reaching something terrible .
Oh but he's reaching something terrible .
hardcorebrat
+0 -0
Oh thank you for that. I laughed, I cried. Oblivion and demise, indeed.
Oh thank you for that. I laughed, I cried. Oblivion and demise, indeed.
salvar
+0 -0
Well I don't know about the middle part, but you can be certain that the joke will end with "The Aristocrats!"
Well I don't know about the middle part, but you can be certain that the joke will end with "The Aristocrats!"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I did that up there^ somewhere.
I did that up there^ somewhere.
stereo
+1 -0
My grandpa was put in a kayak and sent out past the tide.
Not cool, not funny, not a good comic.
My grandpa was put in a kayak and sent out past the tide.
Not cool, not funny, not a good comic.
morypcaina
+0 -0
AMATEUR
AMATEUR
foea
+0 -0
Everyone's grandpa gets sent out to sea. That's what you do with old, useless people. Get it?
Everyone's grandpa gets sent out to sea. That's what you do with old, useless people. Get it?
stereo
+0 -0
And that makes it humorous?
I am just saying I do not think it is funny.
And that makes it humorous?
I am just saying I do not think it is funny.
belgand
+1 -0
My grandpa was sent out to sea, but it was on a gay party cruise. I'm not certain the situation is entirely similar.
My grandpa was sent out to sea, but it was on a gay party cruise. I'm not certain the situation is entirely similar.
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
'cept that in both cases they ultimately end up going down.
'cept that in both cases they ultimately end up going down.
rowboat
+0 -0
It means you're lucky to be alive.
It means you're lucky to be alive.
belgand
+0 -0
Not if my theoretical grandfather was bisexual and spread his seed about like a dandelion in the wind.
Not if my theoretical grandfather was bisexual and spread his seed about like a dandelion in the wind.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Your grandad is Cuba Gooding Jr.?
Your grandad is Cuba Gooding Jr.?
belgand
+0 -0
*ZOT*
For mentioning that homophobic abomination you now need to work 2 cups worth of peanut butter (chunky, smooth, natural... whatever, just no almond butter or such) into your taught, young college-boy anus.
So says the Internet Oracle.
*ZOT*
For mentioning that homophobic abomination you now need to work 2 cups worth of peanut butter (chunky, smooth, natural... whatever, just no almond butter or such) into your taught, young college-boy anus.
So says the Internet Oracle.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
Shut up and get back in the kayak.
Shut up and get back in the kayak.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
mommy mommy, I don't want to go see grandpa
mommy mommy, I don't want to go see grandpa
kickstart
+0 -0
tHERE's no reason to live!
WHERE'S MY KAYAK!?!?
tHERE's no reason to live!
WHERE'S MY KAYAK!?!?
snidedk
+0 -0
but I want to go on a walk!
but I want to go on a walk!
sncether
+2 -0
Achewood should have a recurring dead grandpa character like the Family Circus. Instead of appearing to impart moral lessons or watch Billy's tentative first steps in sexuality from his perch in heaven, he can bat people with the oars from his spectral kayak as he obliviously paddles over their heads.
Achewood should have a recurring dead grandpa character like the Family Circus. Instead of appearing to impart moral lessons or watch Billy's tentative first steps in sexuality from his perch in heaven, he can bat people with the oars from his spectral kayak as he obliviously paddles over their heads.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i vote this should be Uncle Culpepper.
i vote this should be Uncle Culpepper.
lynnym
+1 -2
God, Molly's a bitch sometimes. You'd think she'd know this about Beef.
in other news, this comic is not bad. a 4 perhaps. i will continue remarking on this until the strip returns to Quality Times.
God, Molly's a bitch sometimes. You'd think she'd know this about Beef.
in other news, this comic is not bad. a 4 perhaps. i will continue remarking on this until the strip returns to Quality Times.
deusoma
+0 -0
Yes, she is being uncharacteristically bitchy here. It's like she's channelling Tina or something.
Yes, she is being uncharacteristically bitchy here. It's like she's channelling Tina or something.
lynnym
+2 -0
It's like she's channelling Tina or something.
"Dammit Ray! Don't have shy penis around me! You KNOW I got needs to buck nasty!"
It's like she's channelling Tina or something.
"Dammit Ray! Don't have shy penis around me! You KNOW I got needs to buck nasty!"
lynnym
+0 -0
shit bbcode fail
SHIT
shit bbcode fail
SHIT
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
basicament, bb is not html.
basicament, bb is not html.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
(but you realize this now.)
(but you realize this now.)
rowboat
+0 -0
Thank you for the advanced warning.
Thank you for the advanced warning.
lynnym
+0 -0
Well, I figured everybody could use a heads-up.
Well, I figured everybody could use a heads-up.
varnish
+0 -0
AMAZING IMPOTENCE COMIX with
Dracula and the Inuit in
A Specter Of... Death?
AMAZING IMPOTENCE COMIX with
Dracula and the Inuit in
A Specter Of... Death?
linning
+0 -0
Beef, Dracula, the Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The bartender says "get the fuck out".
Beef, Dracula, the Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The bartender says "get the fuck out".
paperboy_2000
+57 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be, boys?" The Inuit says, "I'd like a steaming pile of whale blubber, please." Dracula sharply replies, "Blood, curdled." Roast Beef mumbles, "Oh uh I will just have two basic pieces of plain bread sir" The Specter of Death stares at the bartender and intones, "I feed on the grim realization that all of one's hopes and dreams are at an end and all that awaits is the void!"
The bartender dials the phone behind the bar and says, "Yeah, it's Joe's Tavern. Send over one of your Kids Meal Arby's sandwiches, sauce on the side."
"Hey, what about mine?" says the Specter of Death.
The bartender tells him, "That's the toy."
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be, boys?" The Inuit says, "I'd like a steaming pile of whale blubber, please." Dracula sharply replies, "Blood, curdled." Roast Beef mumbles, "Oh uh I will just have two basic pieces of plain bread sir" The Specter of Death stares at the bartender and intones, "I feed on the grim realization that all of one's hopes and dreams are at an end and all that awaits is the void!"
The bartender dials the phone behind the bar and says, "Yeah, it's Joe's Tavern. Send over one of your Kids Meal Arby's sandwiches, sauce on the side."
"Hey, what about mine?" says the Specter of Death.
The bartender tells him, "That's the toy."
invidious
+0 -0
Holy crap you are an amazing human being.
Holy crap you are an amazing human being.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
I learned from The Simpsons that "Arby's" is always a great punchline and then just to work backward from there.
I learned from The Simpsons that "Arby's" is always a great punchline and then just to work backward from there.
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
After reading that, I became Philippe.
A chubby, in surrender to the sad truth.
After reading that, I became Philippe.
A chubby, in surrender to the sad truth.
wrmeade
+0 -0
... dammit.
... dammit.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I owe you seven dollars
I owe you seven dollars
morypcaina
+0 -0
That's like 70 days of fanflow.
*gasp*
That's like 70 days of fanflow.
*gasp*
rowboat
+0 -0
Now is the part where everyone can stop trying. It is over.
Now is the part where everyone can stop trying. It is over.
hamscout
+6 -0
Dracula, an Inuit, the Specter of Death and Roast Beef walk into a bar.
Cornelius looks up from his book, "Ah, capital! Roast Beef, who are your friends?"
"hey Cornelius, I will need an open tab and anything in the manner of snacks in a small wooden bowl. I am buying for my bowling team tonight."
Cornelius pulls the first stout, and eyes the motley crew, "A skittles team, you say? A fine endeavor! What are you called?"
Dracula pipes up, "Ve ahr the Carpathian Harpoon Harbingers of the Hardwood, or at least we were, until this guy limped in."
Dracula, an Inuit, the Specter of Death and Roast Beef walk into a bar.
Cornelius looks up from his book, "Ah, capital! Roast Beef, who are your friends?"
"hey Cornelius, I will need an open tab and anything in the manner of snacks in a small wooden bowl. I am buying for my bowling team tonight."
Cornelius pulls the first stout, and eyes the motley crew, "A skittles team, you say? A fine endeavor! What are you called?"
Dracula pipes up, "Ve ahr the Carpathian Harpoon Harbingers of the Hardwood, or at least we were, until this guy limped in."
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That took alot of work, hamscout, and should be rewarded accordionly.
Do you think in this case, "Beef rolls gutter balls." or "Beef hace gutter balls" works better?
That took alot of work, hamscout, and should be rewarded accordionly.
Do you think in this case, "Beef rolls gutter balls." or "Beef hace gutter balls" works better?
tekende
+0 -0
I appreciate the fact that you did not have Dracula reply "THE ARISTOCRATS!" I appreciate it a lot.
I appreciate the fact that you did not have Dracula reply "THE ARISTOCRATS!" I appreciate it a lot.
belgand
+1 -0
Dracula, an Inuit, the Specter of Death and Roast Beef walk into a bar. They purchase some drinks, converse quietly amongst themselves, pay their check and leave.
THE ARISTOCRATS!
Dracula, an Inuit, the Specter of Death and Roast Beef walk into a bar. They purchase some drinks, converse quietly amongst themselves, pay their check and leave.
THE ARISTOCRATS!
tekende
+0 -0
Damn you.
Damn you.
spicerice
+0 -0
i changed my mind. this one def should get the $7! well done, indeed!
i changed my mind. this one def should get the $7! well done, indeed!
rowboat
+0 -0
I was going to reply to your previous comment to tell you to wait for this one, but decided against it. I'm glad you came around independently.
Is that Wrigley?
I was going to reply to your previous comment to tell you to wait for this one, but decided against it. I'm glad you came around independently.
Is that Wrigley?
tekende
+0 -0
Is that wiggly?
[IMGS OFF]
Is that wiggly?
[IMGS OFF]
rowboat
+0 -0
racist
racist
tekende
+0 -0
How the hell is that racist
How the hell is that racist
aperson
+0 -0
What do you mean "you people"?
What do you mean "you people"?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
What do you mean, "what do you mean you people?"
What do you mean, "what do you mean you people?"
rowboat
+0 -0
You'll have to hop in the ol' time machine and ask the drunk and high Rowboat of 2/27/09, 'cause today's Rowboat ain't got a clue.
You'll have to hop in the ol' time machine and ask the drunk and high Rowboat of 2/27/09, 'cause today's Rowboat ain't got a clue.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
It's racist because that pig is part chinese.
For shame.
It's racist because that pig is part chinese.
For shame.
sncether
+0 -0
I remember the one time I went to a Piggly Wiggly. It was in southern Tennessee, not far from Alabammy. Never before, and never since, have I seen such a complete range of canned meat products. There was an entire aisle devoted to it.
That's my story about Piggly Wiggly. During that same trip I went to a different, non-franchise convenience store where a man had a small flask of Jim Beam and a revolver hanging on the wall. As he explained to me, if he touched the one, he had to use the other. Yikes.
I remember the one time I went to a Piggly Wiggly. It was in southern Tennessee, not far from Alabammy. Never before, and never since, have I seen such a complete range of canned meat products. There was an entire aisle devoted to it.
That's my story about Piggly Wiggly. During that same trip I went to a different, non-franchise convenience store where a man had a small flask of Jim Beam and a revolver hanging on the wall. As he explained to me, if he touched the one, he had to use the other. Yikes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
So naturally you went for the wall and he got incredibly drunk, right?
Oh, southern logic!
So naturally you went for the wall and he got incredibly drunk, right?
Oh, southern logic!
wolfensti
+0 -0
That is litterally excellent
That is litterally excellent
radishes
+0 -1
Is Molly getting fat?
Is Molly getting fat?
octafish
+5 -0
No, she just returned the human shoulders to the bridal store.
No, she just returned the human shoulders to the bridal store.
someonegreat
+0 -0
Dude why's Beef gotta refer to his pecker as a vampire in the first panel. It made me cringe and then it made me laugh and then it made me cry. Then I had to finish reading.
Dude why's Beef gotta refer to his pecker as a vampire in the first panel. It made me cringe and then it made me laugh and then it made me cry. Then I had to finish reading.
varnish
+2 -0
He's Vlad the Impaler, son.
He's Vlad the Impaler, son.
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
Who, as we all know , was quite fond of purple pumps.
Who, as we all know , was quite fond of purple pumps.
fancypants
+0 -0
like.... like these?
yes indeed
like.... like these?
yes indeed
octafish
+0 -0
Maybe, just maybe , you answered your own question there champ.
Maybe, just maybe , you answered your own question there champ.
stereo
+6 -0
He wants to fuck your blood.
He wants to fuck your blood.
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
It makes more sense if you consider the fact that Roast Beef's penis is from Soviet Russia.
It makes more sense if you consider the fact that Roast Beef's penis is from Soviet Russia.
fancypants
+0 -0
gives a whole new meaning to glasnost and perestroika baby
gives a whole new meaning to glasnost and perestroika baby
belgand
+0 -0
There are so many reasons that I can't even being to think of all of them:
-he is having trouble rising, as in, "from the grave"
-the aforementioned Vlad the Impaler reference
-he is filled with blood (or, ideally, should be)
-he is sucking the life out of Beef
This is the perfect thing for him to say.
There are so many reasons that I can't even being to think of all of them:
-he is having trouble rising, as in, "from the grave"
-the aforementioned Vlad the Impaler reference
-he is filled with blood (or, ideally, should be)
-he is sucking the life out of Beef
This is the perfect thing for him to say.
niggar
+0 -0
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, Lumus, pointy_stick)
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, Lumus, pointy_stick)
iwannacum
+4 -1
Correct. I wanna cum.
Correct. I wanna cum.
morypcaina
+0 -0
how's trolling these days
you getting any o this stim you luss headed your way
how's trolling these days
you getting any o this stim you luss headed your way
belgand
+0 -0
I would say that I've got your stimulus package right here and point to my crotch, but that would be a lie.
I would say that I've got your stimulus package right here and point to my crotch, but that would be a lie.
tripleoptics
+1 -0
perhaps this strip is autobiographical?
perhaps this strip is autobiographical?
theguitarhero
+5 -0
Achewood has permanently become a comic about Chris not really loving his wife.
Achewood has permanently become a comic about Chris not really loving his wife.
sncether
+0 -0
The bedside lamp looking over Beef's shoulder represents the two-year old child having night terrors in the adjoining bedroom.
"AAAH! Cobras!"
It's OK, Honey. It was just a dream.
"No, dad! It was Mexican Magically Real!"
The bedside lamp looking over Beef's shoulder represents the two-year old child having night terrors in the adjoining bedroom.
"AAAH! Cobras!"
It's OK, Honey. It was just a dream.
"No, dad! It was Mexican Magically Real!"
bixschmix
+1 -0
Yeah, ladies aren't allowed to have Concerns!
Yeah, ladies aren't allowed to have Concerns!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Or vote!
Or vote!
spicyponyhead
+1 -0
Would you like to sign this petition against women's suffrage?
Would you like to sign this petition against women's suffrage?
stereo
+0 -0
Is your icon secretly a nanerpus?
Is your icon secretly a nanerpus?
bixschmix
+0 -0
No, it's overtly a nannerpus!
No, it's overtly a nannerpus!
rockstarsatemy
+0 -0
chubby for nannerpuss.
chubby for nannerpuss.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, Prine, spicyponyhead)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, Prine, spicyponyhead)
foea
+0 -0
Keep us updated on how this works out for you.
Keep us updated on how this works out for you.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Glad is looking for sex on the internet.
Glad is looking for sex on the internet.
wolfensti
+0 -0
you are getting pretty good , glad.
Proud of you
My son
you are getting pretty good , glad.
Proud of you
My son
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
love your parents espeshially ur mom
love your parents espeshially ur mom
wolfensti
+2 -0
Wich one
Lesbians!
Wich one
Lesbians!
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
umm... what?
umm... what?
sje46
+0 -0
I'm disappointed in you, Johnny. gladdi8torrex is the greatest poster of all time. YOu just don't get it.
I'm disappointed in you, Johnny. gladdi8torrex is the greatest poster of all time. YOu just don't get it.
morypcaina
+0 -0
His stomach is what's to blame.
He's the one who's been blackmailing you.
*THUNDER*
His stomach is what's to blame.
He's the one who's been blackmailing you.
*THUNDER*
daidai
+2 -0
Frau Blucher!
*THUNDER*
Frau Blucher!
*THUNDER*
octafish
+2 -0
Vee had better confeerm de fect dat Yunk Frankenshtein iss indeed VALLOWING EEN EES GANDFADDA'S VOOTSHTAPS!
What?]
Following in his grandfather's footsteps, footsteps, footsteps.
[i]Oh footsteps .
Vee had better confeerm de fect dat Yunk Frankenshtein iss indeed VALLOWING EEN EES GANDFADDA'S VOOTSHTAPS!
What?]
Following in his grandfather's footsteps, footsteps, footsteps.
[i]Oh footsteps .
stereo
+1 -0
*WHINNIES*
*WHINNIES*
soupkaty
+1 -0
oh man fingers crossed that this and the talking stomach are connected via Mexican Magical Realism
oh man fingers crossed that this and the talking stomach are connected via Mexican Magical Realism
octafish
+0 -0
You mean Sexican Magical Realism, oh that is awful.
You mean Sexican Magical Realism, oh that is awful.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
my fingers are crossed that we will not be introduced to a speaking genital. I wish this for everyone.
my fingers are crossed that we will not be introduced to a speaking genital. I wish this for everyone.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Why, hello there young lady
Why, hello there young lady
clits
+2 -0
Hello there yourself, big boy.
Hello there yourself, big boy.
wolfensti
+1 -0
I lost my job because of you
Not good, not funny, not a good avicon
I lost my job because of you
Not good, not funny, not a good avicon
shineboxx
+0 -0
Vampire mothers lactate blood.... but what do they cry?
Vampire mothers lactate blood.... but what do they cry?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm gonna go with menstrual fluid here, Bob
I'm gonna go with menstrual fluid here, Bob
autrepoupee
+2 -0
trick question, vampires don't cry. They are tough as nails and twice as iron-heavy.
trick question, vampires don't cry. They are tough as nails and twice as iron-heavy.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Hit it, autrepoupee!
Va-am pires-
They don't cry-yi-yi!
Va-am pires-
They don't cry-yi!
( I wonder why)
Hit it, autrepoupee!
Va-am pires-
They don't cry-yi-yi!
Va-am pires-
They don't cry-yi!
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Not criticizing the effort, but is that Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons?
Not criticizing the effort, but is that Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You recognize the falsetto? I know it doesn't sound like them, but yes.
In some obscure, smoky lounge in Hell lurk Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons, re-hashing their doo-wop hits of the 60's until the end of time.
You recognize the falsetto? I know it doesn't sound like them, but yes.
In some obscure, smoky lounge in Hell lurk Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons, re-hashing their doo-wop hits of the 60's until the end of time.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
"Hey, Frankie, is grease the word?"
"Shut up!"
"Hey, did you ever find your Candy girl!"
"You shut the fuck up now!"
"Don't cry, Frankie!"
"Hey, Frankie, is grease the word?"
"Shut up!"
"Hey, did you ever find your Candy girl!"
"You shut the fuck up now!"
"Don't cry, Frankie!"
tekende
+0 -0
Unless Anne Rice is writing them.
Unless Anne Rice is writing them.
vermy
+0 -0
Wait... why does their bedroom look exactly the same as the one at Gramma Ks? Don't they live in the poolshed now? Or would decorating any differently make Beef's head explode?
Wait... why does their bedroom look exactly the same as the one at Gramma Ks? Don't they live in the poolshed now? Or would decorating any differently make Beef's head explode?
tragicone
+0 -2
I never liked molly.
She is nice maybe 1% of the time.
Roast Beef deserves a nicer woman.
I never liked molly.
She is nice maybe 1% of the time.
Roast Beef deserves a nicer woman.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He should be THANKFUL FOR THAT 1%, GOD DAMMIT! You think 400-year dead women Grow on TREES?
He should be THANKFUL FOR THAT 1%, GOD DAMMIT! You think 400-year dead women Grow on TREES?
belgand
+9 -0
No, I think trees grow on them.
No, I think trees grow on them.
fancypants
+0 -0
if i chubbied you any harder i'd have to buy you dinner and meet your parents approximately five months later.
if i chubbied you any harder i'd have to buy you dinner and meet your parents approximately five months later.
wolfensti
+0 -0
5 months ? That's awfully slow
5 months ? That's awfully slow
lateadopter
+0 -0
No, that's when she'd show.
No, that's when she'd show.
vermy
+3 -0
I honestly think you'd be surprised how few women would be willing to put up with some of Beef's bullshit.
I honestly think you'd be surprised how few women would be willing to put up with some of Beef's bullshit.
rockstarsatemy
+1 -0
for serious.
for serious.
tragicone
+0 -0
what is this? the guy is having dong issues and she is biting his head off for being unhappy with it.
what is this? the guy is having dong issues and she is biting his head off for being unhappy with it.
blueshoc12
+0 -0
RB, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death walk into a bar....
...where they see Cornelius plowing through a bottle of Jim Beam - he composes a haiku to remember this tragic occasion:
Beef's time is ending.
Dracula hides in his coffin.
Ray's got dibs on Moll.
RB, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death walk into a bar....
...where they see Cornelius plowing through a bottle of Jim Beam - he composes a haiku to remember this tragic occasion:
Beef's time is ending.
Dracula hides in his coffin.
Ray's got dibs on Moll.
moissanite
+4 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind around here."
"And what kind is that?" inquire all four.
"Soulless, death-obsessed individuals who rarely, if ever, see the sun."
(If you couldn't tell you sort of have to dislike Inuits for this one to work)
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind around here."
"And what kind is that?" inquire all four.
"Soulless, death-obsessed individuals who rarely, if ever, see the sun."
(If you couldn't tell you sort of have to dislike Inuits for this one to work)
moissanite
+0 -0
Follow-up joke.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Bartender looks at them, shakes his head, and says, "Damn! You fellows sure look like you are undead, or have at least witnessed firsthand the awesome spectacle of the afterlife!"
Inuit says, "Yeah, we Inuits get that a lot."
Follow-up joke.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Bartender looks at them, shakes his head, and says, "Damn! You fellows sure look like you are undead, or have at least witnessed firsthand the awesome spectacle of the afterlife!"
Inuit says, "Yeah, we Inuits get that a lot."
moissanite
+4 -0
One more!
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Bartender takes a look at the Inuit and shakes his head. "Hey, buddy, you don't look too good. What's wrong?"
Inuit replies, "I have schizophrenia."
One more!
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Bartender takes a look at the Inuit and shakes his head. "Hey, buddy, you don't look too good. What's wrong?"
Inuit replies, "I have schizophrenia."
thegoblins
+0 -0
Awww, it's okay.
Awww, it's okay.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "Spector and Innowitz, get out. We don't serve your kind here.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "Spector and Innowitz, get out. We don't serve your kind here.
rowboat
+0 -0
Because he thought the eskimo was a jew and that Death was an infamous record producer?
I get it.
Because he thought the eskimo was a jew and that Death was an infamous record producer?
I get it.
valorgigo
+0 -0
Seven dollars is a depressing amount of money. A depressing amount of money for a depressing little guy.
Seven dollars is a depressing amount of money. A depressing amount of money for a depressing little guy.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Before any of you order, which one of you is paying?"
The Spectre of Death says to the bartender, "There is nothing keeping me from killing you right now, there is no way I am paying." The barkeep admits that that is a fair statement.
The Inuit says to the bartender, "My people were laid to waste by your people, I wouldn't give you a cent of my money." The barkeep says that he can't argue with that.
Beef says to the barkeep, "Uh I'm a cartoon cat I have no way of making such as the money needed to pay for them at all" and the bartender can not deny that.
The group all turns to the Count. He says "Hey, I thought I was the batty one here!"
Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Before any of you order, which one of you is paying?"
The Spectre of Death says to the bartender, "There is nothing keeping me from killing you right now, there is no way I am paying." The barkeep admits that that is a fair statement.
The Inuit says to the bartender, "My people were laid to waste by your people, I wouldn't give you a cent of my money." The barkeep says that he can't argue with that.
Beef says to the barkeep, "Uh I'm a cartoon cat I have no way of making such as the money needed to pay for them at all" and the bartender can not deny that.
The group all turns to the Count. He says "Hey, I thought I was the batty one here!"
octafish
+8 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and Spectre of Death walk into a bar and Dracula says to the barman "Qvick a round ovf viskey before the trouble starts". The barman pours four shots, and they quickly down them. The Inuit looks around and says "Quick, quick another round before the trouble starts" and the barman pours another four drinks which they drink. Beefs looks at the door and says quietly "We, maybe should get another drink before all the trouble starts because it is coming like for sure like cancer is coming for all of us". The barman looks at Beef, the Inuit, Dracula and the Spectre of Death and asks "Say how are you boys planing on paying for these drinks?" The Spectre of Death says "Oh oh, looks like the trouble is starting".[IMGS OFF]
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and Spectre of Death walk into a bar and Dracula says to the barman "Qvick a round ovf viskey before the trouble starts". The barman pours four shots, and they quickly down them. The Inuit looks around and says "Quick, quick another round before the trouble starts" and the barman pours another four drinks which they drink. Beefs looks at the door and says quietly "We, maybe should get another drink before all the trouble starts because it is coming like for sure like cancer is coming for all of us". The barman looks at Beef, the Inuit, Dracula and the Spectre of Death and asks "Say how are you boys planing on paying for these drinks?" The Spectre of Death says "Oh oh, looks like the trouble is starting".[IMGS OFF]
stereo
+0 -0
Death should give me a chubby, not be a chubby.
Death should give me a chubby, not be a chubby.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Just keep playing with that auto-asphyxiation kit, bucko, and you'll get your wish.
Just keep playing with that auto-asphyxiation kit, bucko, and you'll get your wish.
woodjay
+0 -0
I heard a Death movie is in the works with del'toro directing, just thought i'd mention
I heard a Death movie is in the works with del'toro directing, just thought i'd mention
tekende
+2 -0
Interesting, if True.
[IMGS OFF]
Interesting, if True.
[IMGS OFF]
brokeaccount
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
If this isn't the subject matter I'm gonna be piiiiiiissed.
[IMGS OFF]
If this isn't the subject matter I'm gonna be piiiiiiissed.
daedala_x
+0 -0
hell and goddamn, YES.
R.I.P. Chuck Schuldiner. Oh, what those fingers could do to me.. (goddammit why can't i say such as a simple sexual remark without all sorts of embarrassment and thoughts of disappointing my parents popping into my mind)
hey, who saw Cynic this month?
hell and goddamn, YES.
R.I.P. Chuck Schuldiner. Oh, what those fingers could do to me.. (goddammit why can't i say such as a simple sexual remark without all sorts of embarrassment and thoughts of disappointing my parents popping into my mind)
hey, who saw Cynic this month?
harrylockhart
+0 -1
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Complete this joke for a chance at seven dollars. You think one of them would have seen it.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Complete this joke for a chance at seven dollars. You think one of them would have seen it.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Good job on copy-pasting it ya douche .
Good job on copy-pasting it ya douche .
fermatprime
+1 -0
What happens when Roast Beef, an Inuit, Dracula, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar?
*flit*
Learn the SHOCKING TRUTH
$7
What happens when Roast Beef, an Inuit, Dracula, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar?
*flit*
Learn the SHOCKING TRUTH
$7
postblank
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The Inuit says to the bartender "BARTENDER GIVE US FIVE PITCHERS OF LAGER TO AID US IN FORGETTING THE SUFFERING OF EXISTENCE AND THE CRUMBLING TOWER THAT IS A MAN." The bartender brings the lager, they drink it and leave a $20 tip in two dollar bills.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The Inuit says to the bartender "BARTENDER GIVE US FIVE PITCHERS OF LAGER TO AID US IN FORGETTING THE SUFFERING OF EXISTENCE AND THE CRUMBLING TOWER THAT IS A MAN." The bartender brings the lager, they drink it and leave a $20 tip in two dollar bills.
snoutbuster
+0 -0
And we've fully restored cabin pressure. Welcome back for real this time, Onstad.
And we've fully restored cabin pressure. Welcome back for real this time, Onstad.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Also I don't like that Mister Dracula can be limp. :(
Also I don't like that Mister Dracula can be limp. :(
unclemikey
+0 -0
LOVE
LOVE
jorgemacd
+0 -0
uh why does Molly have such as a knee on the back of her leg
uh why does Molly have such as a knee on the back of her leg
hamscout
+0 -0
It is a trick of the light .
It is not a mound, but rather a hole.
A hole where Dracula could have been, if he'd risen from the dead.
It is a trick of the light .
It is not a mound, but rather a hole.
A hole where Dracula could have been, if he'd risen from the dead.
somedarkholler
+0 -0
Are you implying that Molly's holes (both front and back) are so gaping that they swallow up fabric?
Are you implying that Molly's holes (both front and back) are so gaping that they swallow up fabric?
belgand
+0 -0
Are you suggesting that Onstad should start drawing each panel rather than just copy-and-pasting it over and over with small changes in a style that inevitably leads to these sorts of errors? Is that what I am hearing?
Are you suggesting that Onstad should start drawing each panel rather than just copy-and-pasting it over and over with small changes in a style that inevitably leads to these sorts of errors? Is that what I am hearing?
brokeaccount
+0 -0
He's forgotten to edit out that strange looking bump in the past too. Or maybe he doesn't see it as Molly's legs. Which is sort of weird.
What I want to know is why don't they have a new bedroom now, seeings as they're in Ray's poolshed? It should be pimp as fuck, all like The O.C. or some shit.
He's forgotten to edit out that strange looking bump in the past too. Or maybe he doesn't see it as Molly's legs. Which is sort of weird.
What I want to know is why don't they have a new bedroom now, seeings as they're in Ray's poolshed? It should be pimp as fuck, all like The O.C. or some shit.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, that bothered me as well. They're living in the poolshed and married and such. You'd think the environment would not be identical to the trailer.
Yeah, that bothered me as well. They're living in the poolshed and married and such. You'd think the environment would not be identical to the trailer.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Beef brought his issues with him, and subconsciously recreated his old environment.
Beef brought his issues with him, and subconsciously recreated his old environment.
hobit
+0 -0
zing...
zing...
zombiezero
+0 -0
Thank you, Achewood, for adding "show up with my bro up" to my personal vernacular.
Thank you, Achewood, for adding "show up with my bro up" to my personal vernacular.
gbvhead
+0 -0
came"??? Talk about a Freudian slip! Here's the hidden lead -- Molly is having an affair, and feeling guilty about it, so she's reacting uncharacteristically self-consciously to Beef's problem.
came"??? Talk about a Freudian slip! Here's the hidden lead -- Molly is having an affair, and feeling guilty about it, so she's reacting uncharacteristically self-consciously to Beef's problem.
gbvhead
+0 -0
"...when the mailman came"??? Talk about a Freudian slip! Here's the hidden lead -- Molly is having an affair, and feeling guilty about it, so she's reacting uncharacteristically self-consciously to Beef's problem.
"...when the mailman came"??? Talk about a Freudian slip! Here's the hidden lead -- Molly is having an affair, and feeling guilty about it, so she's reacting uncharacteristically self-consciously to Beef's problem.
spiderbethlehem
+1 -0
You know at risk of shaming myself permanently before the enlightened glitterati of the Achewood community this is more or less exactly how it feels when you can't get wood for whatever reason. Props to Onstadt for capturing precisely the moment in your youth when you realize that eventually everything you enjoy will become physically impossible and your own body, once your finest asset, will become a sagging mass of useless tumor-spackled flesh with no other purpose but to befoul resources that could otherwise go to improving the world.
Bravo.
You know at risk of shaming myself permanently before the enlightened glitterati of the Achewood community this is more or less exactly how it feels when you can't get wood for whatever reason. Props to Onstadt for capturing precisely the moment in your youth when you realize that eventually everything you enjoy will become physically impossible and your own body, once your finest asset, will become a sagging mass of useless tumor-spackled flesh with no other purpose but to befoul resources that could otherwise go to improving the world.
Bravo.
sncether
+1 -0
I have heard that shark fin is an effective aphrodisiac when applied between the thighs. It is especially potent when mashed into a fine paste, preferably via atom bomb from the top rope
I have heard that shark fin is an effective aphrodisiac when applied between the thighs. It is especially potent when mashed into a fine paste, preferably via atom bomb from the top rope
wolfensti
+0 -0
I heard that looking a T-Rex in a F-16 can render you blind.
I heard that looking a T-Rex in a F-16 can render you blind.
tetsujin
+1 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar.
"ouch"
"Bleagh!"
"anijunga!"
"...What?"
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar.
"ouch"
"Bleagh!"
"anijunga!"
"...What?"
wolfensti
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Dracula fall from the stoll and can't stand up
The End
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit, and the Specter of Death walk into a bar. Dracula fall from the stoll and can't stand up
The End
rowboat
+0 -0
Second best.
Second best.
professorhazard
+3 -0
Huge slam on Comic-Con out of nowhere
Huge slam on Comic-Con out of nowhere
dicklet
+0 -0
Yeah, really. Imagine how much it would benefit his little enterprise if he so much as showed up there.
Yeah, really. Imagine how much it would benefit his little enterprise if he so much as showed up there.
nbgreene
+0 -0
i just want to say that Chris Onstad is ON HIS GAME the last 2 weeks. these have been excellent!
i just want to say that Chris Onstad is ON HIS GAME the last 2 weeks. these have been excellent!
rowboat
+0 -0
I agree almost completely.
I agree almost completely.
niggar
+0 -0
Consider yourself lamed.
Consider yourself lamed.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
Onnesty: I m deh most onnest persin cuz I nevah lie but her' is my worry. Most suntines peeps dun wan' here troof ib is bad, or ib is 2 good dey dun beliebe or tink u r fuckn whiff dem. I'b C'n little benfit form nevah lyin' I gets in mo' troubs an' hab no frens cuz I gib str8 (is how I roll) I's jus' sayin', deck so stact in fav' o' lies 'n halb-troofs maks me fink abot lyin' suntines cuz is EZ but EZ isn't hows 2 spell ma name, nah mena.
Do yalls lie? An' ib so. Y/4 what?
Onnesty: I m deh most onnest persin cuz I nevah lie but her' is my worry. Most suntines peeps dun wan' here troof ib is bad, or ib is 2 good dey dun beliebe or tink u r fuckn whiff dem. I'b C'n little benfit form nevah lyin' I gets in mo' troubs an' hab no frens cuz I gib str8 (is how I roll) I's jus' sayin', deck so stact in fav' o' lies 'n halb-troofs maks me fink abot lyin' suntines cuz is EZ but EZ isn't hows 2 spell ma name, nah mena.
Do yalls lie? An' ib so. Y/4 what?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Glad is a liar.
(this is my lie.)
Glad is a liar.
(this is my lie.)
stereo
+0 -0
I can't do lies but I think half-truths are a necessary part of interacting with other people unfortunately. I tell them what they want to hear and then I don't get arrested or shunned by society.
I can't do lies but I think half-truths are a necessary part of interacting with other people unfortunately. I tell them what they want to hear and then I don't get arrested or shunned by society.
cowsfeelchicken
+0 -0
year, but, no, but, year, but no but year but...
year, but, no, but, year, but no but year but...
waferman
+0 -0
Basially, I now feel real bad.
I sincerely apologize.
Basially, I now feel real bad.
I sincerely apologize.
pox
+0 -0
I can't believe I never noticed this before, but...who the hell SLEEPS in pigtails? Let the woman put her hair down!!
I can't believe I never noticed this before, but...who the hell SLEEPS in pigtails? Let the woman put her hair down!!
belgand
+0 -0
Plenty of people. The greater concern is who has sex without pigtails?
Plenty of people. The greater concern is who has sex without pigtails?
gorrioncita
+3 -0
a cat named molly, a reasonably competent and socially capable individual who in other regards appears to possess a high degree of self-confidence inexplicably maintains an apparently wholly unrewarding relationship with the hollow shell of a cat named roast beef, who has little or nothing to offer to her or in fact to any other person on this earth, except comedic examples of failure and neurosis.
a cat named molly, a reasonably competent and socially capable individual who in other regards appears to possess a high degree of self-confidence inexplicably maintains an apparently wholly unrewarding relationship with the hollow shell of a cat named roast beef, who has little or nothing to offer to her or in fact to any other person on this earth, except comedic examples of failure and neurosis.
wolfensti
+0 -0
And sometimes rock-hard cat cock
And sometimes rock-hard cat cock
echidnaboy
+1 -0
We love the hollow shell of a cat Roast Beef
We love the hollow shell of a cat Roast Beef
gorrioncita
+0 -0
i am very concerned with the lives of cartoon cats--i take them very seriously, so i am going to tell you here and now, roast beef needs a caseworker and not a nerd fantasy girlfriend.
i am very concerned with the lives of cartoon cats--i take them very seriously, so i am going to tell you here and now, roast beef needs a caseworker and not a nerd fantasy girlfriend.
metatronatra
+0 -0
I don't know about a joke, but Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death could make a pretty good ensemble cast in a Jim Jarmusch movie; I suspect Beef's happiness lamp and the prolonged night of the far North would be pivotal plot devices.
I don't know about a joke, but Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death could make a pretty good ensemble cast in a Jim Jarmusch movie; I suspect Beef's happiness lamp and the prolonged night of the far North would be pivotal plot devices.
belgand
+0 -0
I can imagine that movie right now and it is great. Tom Waits has a cameo as a man of seemingly infinite wisdom, but he is so broken by life and the knowledge that it will break them too that he is unable to impart any of it.
I can imagine that movie right now and it is great. Tom Waits has a cameo as a man of seemingly infinite wisdom, but he is so broken by life and the knowledge that it will break them too that he is unable to impart any of it.
sje46
+0 -0
This whole page is yellow and green to me.
I wonder if Elbox has caught up yet.
This whole page is yellow and green to me.
I wonder if Elbox has caught up yet.
ruralelectric
+0 -0
first off im a drunk so fuck all who wantto comment to this; so waht ever you sy to what i write i will not read. but this comic wanted me to write swomething. i have been married for 8 years and havebeen a fall down drunk for 10. never have i experienced this probem. this is molls fault my wife has been sexually fulfilling me for all this time and i have been a n asshold this entire tiime. BEEF GOT SHIT IN HIS HEAD THAT GOT TO GET HOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ya
first off im a drunk so fuck all who wantto comment to this; so waht ever you sy to what i write i will not read. but this comic wanted me to write swomething. i have been married for 8 years and havebeen a fall down drunk for 10. never have i experienced this probem. this is molls fault my wife has been sexually fulfilling me for all this time and i have been a n asshold this entire tiime. BEEF GOT SHIT IN HIS HEAD THAT GOT TO GET HOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ya
ruralelectric
+0 -0
by the way real runk here need help not lying probnable lots of drunks tha read this not to say anything to you chris LOVE YOU!!!
by the way real runk here need help not lying probnable lots of drunks tha read this not to say anything to you chris LOVE YOU!!!
ruralelectric
+0 -0
god damminet or whateever chris i am a drunki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to connect comeon LYLES BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you r drunk i know we know our own.
god damminet or whateever chris i am a drunki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to connect comeon LYLES BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you r drunk i know we know our own.
sje46
+0 -0
Did you know alcohol abuse causes liver problems such as jaundice?
Did you know alcohol abuse causes liver problems such as jaundice?
wolfensti
+0 -0
And can also be cause strain in your relations with your family or friends ?
And can also be cause strain in your relations with your family or friends ?
wingspan
+0 -0
And is guaranteed to make you the life of the party.... even if you are not currently at a party!
And is guaranteed to make you the life of the party.... even if you are not currently at a party!
sje46
+0 -0
Stop enabling!
ENABLER!
Stop enabling!
ENABLER!
belgand
+1 -0
If you are hearing "Any Way You Want it" or "Panama" you are currently at a party regardless of what other circumstances are occurring. Alcohol is not even necessary, but it will appear spontaneously from an unknown source.
If you are hearing "Any Way You Want it" or "Panama" you are currently at a party regardless of what other circumstances are occurring. Alcohol is not even necessary, but it will appear spontaneously from an unknown source.
lateadopter
+0 -0
sje46 said:
Quote:
This is wrong. The correct riposte is, "Do you think it is rad to have alcoholism, ruralelectric?"
sje46 said:
Quote:
Did you know alcohol abuse causes liver problems such as jaundice?
This is wrong. The correct riposte is, "Do you think it is rad to have alcoholism, ruralelectric?"
plummet
+0 -0
Molly laid it down harsh, that made me wince in real life upon reading it
Molly laid it down harsh, that made me wince in real life upon reading it
achewood
+0 -0
ROAST BEEF JUGGLES CUM
ROAST BEEF JUGGLES CUM
danielcrow
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The bar tender refuses Beef service. End
Where do I collect my seven dollars?
Roast Beef, Dracula and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. The bar tender refuses Beef service. End
Where do I collect my seven dollars?
doc_rostov
+0 -0
Hey everybody. I am feeling pretty low right now.
How are things with you all?
Hey everybody. I am feeling pretty low right now.
How are things with you all?
entropyends
+0 -0
I normally don't make comments because I'm scared of being lamed, but I don't want you to feel like no one's listening! I'm sort of sleepy. I hope you feel better tomorrow.
I normally don't make comments because I'm scared of being lamed, but I don't want you to feel like no one's listening! I'm sort of sleepy. I hope you feel better tomorrow.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Aw, don't be shy, we dont bite! Well, 'cept pogo, but he aparently joined the witness prptection program and became pogolina and is now lying low, hiding among us under the cloak of a new user name.
Aw, don't be shy, we dont bite! Well, 'cept pogo, but he aparently joined the witness prptection program and became pogolina and is now lying low, hiding among us under the cloak of a new user name.
sje46
+0 -0
LAMED because you are a creepy stalker weirdo.
No, don't be afraid to post. Look at me. I say a lot of stupid things, like ALL THE TIME.
LAMED because you are a creepy stalker weirdo.
No, don't be afraid to post. Look at me. I say a lot of stupid things, like ALL THE TIME.
octafish
+0 -0
I am so tempted to lame you right now SJE
I am so tempted to lame you right now SJE
sje46
+0 -0
Public announcement:
My name is not SJE. It is sje. Look at them. Which one looks better aesthetically? Now I understand how Randy feels.
You can do Sje if you want, but I prefer it if you didn't.
Public announcement:
My name is not SJE. It is sje. Look at them. Which one looks better aesthetically? Now I understand how Randy feels.
You can do Sje if you want, but I prefer it if you didn't.
belgand
+1 -0
Initials must be capitalized. We have no space for your terrible Internet grammar here young man. Would you, perhaps, accept the traditional monogram capitalization of sJe? Because I certainly won't.
Initials must be capitalized. We have no space for your terrible Internet grammar here young man. Would you, perhaps, accept the traditional monogram capitalization of sJe? Because I certainly won't.
sje46
+0 -0
Why do people think they're initials? They are not. It is sje46. No more, no less. If you want to refer to me by name, call me sje, sje46, or Sean.
Why do people think they're initials? They are not. It is sje46. No more, no less. If you want to refer to me by name, call me sje, sje46, or Sean.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Just an aside, but we are reading Portrait of An Artist as A Young Man for ENG101 and Stephen Dedalus reminds me of you, at least early-on Stephen.
Just an aside, but we are reading Portrait of An Artist as A Young Man for ENG101 and Stephen Dedalus reminds me of you, at least early-on Stephen.
sje46
+0 -0
Haha, really? Do you mean, like, schoolboy Stephen? I remind myself of him too. In what way?
I quite enjoyed that book.
Haha, really? Do you mean, like, schoolboy Stephen? I remind myself of him too. In what way?
I quite enjoyed that book.
octafish
+0 -0
All peeing in his bed and noticing that at first the wee is warm and comforting but soon gets cold and uncomfortable.
All peeing in his bed and noticing that at first the wee is warm and comforting but soon gets cold and uncomfortable.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Just kinda, a little naive to the ways of the world and WAY too hard on himself. If you were Catholic you would basically BE him, all down on himself for having sex, thinking that he's going to go to hell right away.
Just kinda, a little naive to the ways of the world and WAY too hard on himself. If you were Catholic you would basically BE him, all down on himself for having sex, thinking that he's going to go to hell right away.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
All getting yelled at by teachers thinking he is lying about his glasses.
All getting yelled at by teachers thinking he is lying about his glasses.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm not that naive.
Yeah, I guess I agree with your for the most part.
Also, I become an arrogant prick when I'm older!
I'm not that naive.
Yeah, I guess I agree with your for the most part.
Also, I become an arrogant prick when I'm older!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ssssh I haven't finished it yet!
Ssssh I haven't finished it yet!
sje46
+0 -0
It was intense when Stephen Dedalus killed that prostitute he saw bathing in the water.
It was intense when Stephen Dedalus killed that prostitute he saw bathing in the water.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Don't tell me, Stephen Dedalus was dead the whole time?
Don't tell me, Stephen Dedalus was dead the whole time?
stereo
+0 -0
Rosebud was his "My Little Pony"
Rosebud was his "My Little Pony"
irondave
+0 -0
Don't look at sje. He is not a good example.
Don't look at sje. He is not a good example.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
For the fear of saying something really retarded, whatsup doc?
I'm up late downloading Flaming Lips and listening to the Watchmen soundtrack...
For the fear of saying something really retarded, whatsup doc?
I'm up late downloading Flaming Lips and listening to the Watchmen soundtrack...
stereo
+0 -0
I'm raising the procrastination bar a couple levels by doing shit-all for 14 hours straight instead of doing simple research (in order to do it I'd have to find my library card so I can use the online search ... all I need is a couple articles and maybe check which branch a book is located at)
And of course reading Sandman . 46 chapters so far, with about half that yesterday and half today.
I'm raising the procrastination bar a couple levels by doing shit-all for 14 hours straight instead of doing simple research (in order to do it I'd have to find my library card so I can use the online search ... all I need is a couple articles and maybe check which branch a book is located at)
And of course reading Sandman . 46 chapters so far, with about half that yesterday and half today.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sandman as in the comic? Coool. Do you have the Absolute Edition?
Yeah, I'm SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING UP EARLY TOMORROW as in about 5 hours. But this is more important!
Sandman as in the comic? Coool. Do you have the Absolute Edition?
Yeah, I'm SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING UP EARLY TOMORROW as in about 5 hours. But this is more important!
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, the comic. Kinda a mix, first couple books were nice, then from around 39 I think it's just the regular ones.
Yeah, the comic. Kinda a mix, first couple books were nice, then from around 39 I think it's just the regular ones.
stereo
+0 -0
Maybe I should have just looked, it's 1-31 in the "Essential Vertigo" nice setup.
Maybe I should have just looked, it's 1-31 in the "Essential Vertigo" nice setup.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Paul Harvey died last night, Doc. Good Day!
Paul Harvey died last night, Doc. Good Day!
mattylite
+0 -0
But wait... where's .. where's. the rest of the story?
*sob*
But wait... where's .. where's. the rest of the story?
*sob*
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Awww, it breaks my smutty heart to hear the Doc is down. Be happy! Achewood is back to posting more than once a month. Assetbar is getting good again. You are 18. Life is excellent.
I spent all yesterday beating people up (judo and jujitsu), giving two puppies their first bath, and making a sausage, fennel and sage risotto. Then wifey and I watched Bender's Game, then did it twice. Life is outstanding. I would share my leftover risotto with you if I could Doc. And let you play with the little dogs. I would do these things to make you feel better, if I could.
Awww, it breaks my smutty heart to hear the Doc is down. Be happy! Achewood is back to posting more than once a month. Assetbar is getting good again. You are 18. Life is excellent.
I spent all yesterday beating people up (judo and jujitsu), giving two puppies their first bath, and making a sausage, fennel and sage risotto. Then wifey and I watched Bender's Game, then did it twice. Life is outstanding. I would share my leftover risotto with you if I could Doc. And let you play with the little dogs. I would do these things to make you feel better, if I could.
tekende
+0 -0
So did you do it twice in rapid succession? If so, I applaud your abilities.
So did you do it twice in rapid succession? If so, I applaud your abilities.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Every now and then a special thing happens to a man. Doin' it twice without pause. Yes. That means exactly what you think it means. I'm hoping hedo experienced this very thing.
Every now and then a special thing happens to a man. Doin' it twice without pause. Yes. That means exactly what you think it means. I'm hoping hedo experienced this very thing.
tekende
+0 -0
It is special. And rare. Like rarest, most beautiful flower.
It is special. And rare. Like rarest, most beautiful flower.
stereo
+1 -0
Once I found this totally awesome mud pit and I did it to myself 3 times just thinking about it.
Once I found this totally awesome mud pit and I did it to myself 3 times just thinking about it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I refuse to Freud it up in response to you here stereo... but I encourage it of others.
I refuse to Freud it up in response to you here stereo... but I encourage it of others.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
One of the things I miss about being a kid was karate I didn't have to pay for (that is, my parents did). I used to hate it back then, but now I sort of wish I had the opportunity to spar with anyone. But one can't just strut down the street and start fights with people. Liable to incarcerate a self, acting thusly.
Thanks for the sentiment. I'm a bit less low on the now.
One of the things I miss about being a kid was karate I didn't have to pay for (that is, my parents did). I used to hate it back then, but now I sort of wish I had the opportunity to spar with anyone. But one can't just strut down the street and start fights with people. Liable to incarcerate a self, acting thusly.
Thanks for the sentiment. I'm a bit less low on the now.
sje46
+2 -0
No, don't have a heart attack! Obama is president, Stanley! You're black!
No, don't have a heart attack! Obama is president, Stanley! You're black!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:) I have trained you well!
:) I have trained you well!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
So, you ate Italian food and then Did It after eating Italian food?
So, you ate Italian food and then Did It after eating Italian food?
sje46
+0 -0
*hugs doc*
Poor thing :(
*hugs doc*
Poor thing :(
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Inclement weather, dogg! You ain't gotta go to class, right? Trade in your blue shoes for boots and enjoy the day off.
Inclement weather, dogg! You ain't gotta go to class, right? Trade in your blue shoes for boots and enjoy the day off.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm alright. I been lower.
I'm alright. I been lower.
sweetlips
+0 -0
He probably can't get a hard-on because Twilight made vampires gay.
He probably can't get a hard-on because Twilight made vampires gay.
octafish
+1 -0
I thought twilight made vampires mormon?
I thought twilight made vampires mormon?
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Morons?
Morons?
octafish
+0 -0
Hadrons?
Hadrons?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hard-ons?
Hard-ons?
zapatos
+0 -0
Well I've read through the archives. Cool.
Well I've read through the archives. Cool.
wolfensti
+0 -0
You've did your pilgrimage, goyim
You've did your pilgrimage, goyim
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
wolfensti, old buddy, your avicon is like a petit mal seizure, you know.
wolfensti, old buddy, your avicon is like a petit mal seizure, you know.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
PS:LV. 99 SLEUTH DIPOLOMACY: SEPULCHITRUDE/AGGRESS SCORPIO_NADIR FOR GREAT LAMAGE.
PS:LV. 99 SLEUTH DIPOLOMACY: SEPULCHITRUDE/AGGRESS SCORPIO_NADIR FOR GREAT LAMAGE.
stereo
+0 -0
Just don't call him a green black.
Just don't call him a green black.
wolfensti
+0 -0
PAX
PAX
wolfensti
+0 -0
But seriously , that's one of the few contender for Best thing Ever in my addled brain. Dont force me to choose, Scorpio
But seriously , that's one of the few contender for Best thing Ever in my addled brain. Dont force me to choose, Scorpio
stereo
+1 -0
I am posting to say my can opener sucks ass because it does not properly grip the can and the toothed gear keeps slipping. This is obviously not my technique at fault because there is only 1 way to use it - put it on and turn the knob.
I am posting to say my can opener sucks ass because it does not properly grip the can and the toothed gear keeps slipping. This is obviously not my technique at fault because there is only 1 way to use it - put it on and turn the knob.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Maybe it's in reverse ?
Maybe it's in reverse ?
wingspan
+0 -0
Man she ain't gonna let you anywhere near her can if you're coming at her with toothed gears while turning your knob.
Man she ain't gonna let you anywhere near her can if you're coming at her with toothed gears while turning your knob.
gyrate
+0 -0
I see your problem. What you have there is not a can opener. It is a prostitute with a strap-on.
I see your problem. What you have there is not a can opener. It is a prostitute with a strap-on.
gyrate
+6 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. As they sit at the bar sipping their beers, Beef says "Aw man I hate this time of year with no sun. It makes me feel lower than gutter crud." And the Inuit says "I know how you feel - where I live, we have six months of darkness." And Dracula says "You think you have it bad? I can't go out in the sun ever or I'll explode and burn like a foil-wrapped egg in a microwave." And the Spectre of Death says "That's nothing - in the land of Death the sun has never shone. I will dwell in darkness until the end of eternity."
At this point the bartender comes by and says "Say, fellas, what's going on here?" And the Spectre of Death says "Not much - we're just swapping SAD stories."
"Heh!" says the bartender. "You guys are a big hot tranny mess!". He then pulls off his fake sideburns to reveal that he is Philippe.
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. As they sit at the bar sipping their beers, Beef says "Aw man I hate this time of year with no sun. It makes me feel lower than gutter crud." And the Inuit says "I know how you feel - where I live, we have six months of darkness." And Dracula says "You think you have it bad? I can't go out in the sun ever or I'll explode and burn like a foil-wrapped egg in a microwave." And the Spectre of Death says "That's nothing - in the land of Death the sun has never shone. I will dwell in darkness until the end of eternity."
At this point the bartender comes by and says "Say, fellas, what's going on here?" And the Spectre of Death says "Not much - we're just swapping SAD stories."
"Heh!" says the bartender. "You guys are a big hot tranny mess!". He then pulls off his fake sideburns to reveal that he is Philippe.
scorpio_nadir
+4 -0
Alt novella version-
Quote:
In walks a 5th drinker, Belgand.
"I was walking along Mission Street, and heard your stories, and I am one of you," he says. "In my City, in my world, the sun never really shines either, except for weak rays of gloomy, washed-out hipster angst. Even among the living, I am always alone, and now forced await the eventual heat-death of the Sun in your mediocre company. Gimme a bottle of Jack, and let 'er roll. I've got a Scrabble set here, who wants to play?"
Hearing that, the bartender pulls out an ancient Colt hogleg and shoots himself in the mouth. The Inuit then picks up the Colt, and blows his brains out.
Beef takes one look at them, then Belgand, and relinquishes his last cat life, falling in a heap to the floor.
-to be continued?-
Alt novella version-
Quote:
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Spectre of Death walk into a bar. As they sit at the bar sipping their beers, Beef says "Aw man I hate this time of year with no sun. It makes me feel lower than gutter crud." And the Inuit says "I know how you feel - where I live, we have six months of darkness." And Dracula says "You think you have it bad? I can't go out in the sun ever or I'll explode and burn like a foil-wrapped egg in a microwave." And the Spectre of Death says "That's nothing - in the land of Death the sun has never shone. I will dwell in darkness until the end of eternity."
At this point the bartender comes by and says "Say, fellas, what's going on here?" And the Spectre of Death says "Not much - we're just swapping SAD stories."
At this point the bartender comes by and says "Say, fellas, what's going on here?" And the Spectre of Death says "Not much - we're just swapping SAD stories."
In walks a 5th drinker, Belgand.
"I was walking along Mission Street, and heard your stories, and I am one of you," he says. "In my City, in my world, the sun never really shines either, except for weak rays of gloomy, washed-out hipster angst. Even among the living, I am always alone, and now forced await the eventual heat-death of the Sun in your mediocre company. Gimme a bottle of Jack, and let 'er roll. I've got a Scrabble set here, who wants to play?"
Hearing that, the bartender pulls out an ancient Colt hogleg and shoots himself in the mouth. The Inuit then picks up the Colt, and blows his brains out.
Beef takes one look at them, then Belgand, and relinquishes his last cat life, falling in a heap to the floor.
-to be continued?-
belgand
+0 -0
Since when did I become your whipping boy? Or start having hipster angst or being interested in alcohol consumption?
Since when did I become your whipping boy? Or start having hipster angst or being interested in alcohol consumption?
sje46
+0 -0
Scorpio's the best one.
It's so true . . . .
Scorpio's the best one.
It's so true . . . .
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Dear Belgand-
Whipping boy....I think we can rock with this idea. You know I was just talking to Circus Penis other day.
He's going, "S.N., I'm needing new blood, fresh ideas, what you got? People don't realize, we gots recession, us folks in the Industry, we hurting too."
Walk with me a minute, here. I'm seeing LieBot and Todd as Moose and Squirrel; you and Rod supporting as Boris and Natasha in
"Whipping Boy! Is Robot-Ass that BAD?
Oh yeah. Enclosed is 6 hundo for future royalties, Bel-baby. We gon Make this Happen!
p.s. I know you don't drink, man. That was what us writers call a fictional device. sheeyit.
Dear Belgand-
Whipping boy....I think we can rock with this idea. You know I was just talking to Circus Penis other day.
He's going, "S.N., I'm needing new blood, fresh ideas, what you got? People don't realize, we gots recession, us folks in the Industry, we hurting too."
Walk with me a minute, here. I'm seeing LieBot and Todd as Moose and Squirrel; you and Rod supporting as Boris and Natasha in
"Whipping Boy! Is Robot-Ass that BAD?
Oh yeah. Enclosed is 6 hundo for future royalties, Bel-baby. We gon Make this Happen!
p.s. I know you don't drink, man. That was what us writers call a fictional device. sheeyit.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Belgand, profuse apologies if your dignity was ruffled, or your ruffles were undignified. Please do not call me out for pistols at dawn.*
You remain one of my favorite posters, and I remain-
Yr Srvt-
S.N.
*A safe enough bet anyhow since Belgand is usually back in his coffin sleeping by then.
Belgand, profuse apologies if your dignity was ruffled, or your ruffles were undignified. Please do not call me out for pistols at dawn.*
You remain one of my favorite posters, and I remain-
Yr Srvt-
S.N.
*A safe enough bet anyhow since Belgand is usually back in his coffin sleeping by then.
belgand
+0 -0
I clearly misunderstood your intent. I did not realize that this was intended as a relation to the meme of Assetbar erotica starring Belgand, but instead saw it more as a personal attack. I was obviously mistaken and all is forgiven.
I clearly misunderstood your intent. I did not realize that this was intended as a relation to the meme of Assetbar erotica starring Belgand, but instead saw it more as a personal attack. I was obviously mistaken and all is forgiven.
missbee
+1 -0
And then Belgand walks in and sees Belgand. Belgand feels bad for Belgand and wants to cheer him up. Stepping over the bodies of the Inuit and Roast Beef, Belgand walks over to Belgand and pulls him into a warm embrace. Belgand whimpers into Belgand's chest and they just hold each other for a while.
And then Belgand walks in and sees Belgand. Belgand feels bad for Belgand and wants to cheer him up. Stepping over the bodies of the Inuit and Roast Beef, Belgand walks over to Belgand and pulls him into a warm embrace. Belgand whimpers into Belgand's chest and they just hold each other for a while.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This remind of Being John Malkovich. You all know the part:
Malkovich malkovich?
This remind of Being John Malkovich. You all know the part:
Malkovich malkovich?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thees remind of Beink Yon Malkovich. Is so good. Is so nice.
Thees remind of Beink Yon Malkovich. Is so good. Is so nice.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Malkobvich, malkovich malkovich?
Malkobvich, malkovich malkovich?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In Beink Yon Malkovich, John Malkovich is in You! *
*I do not remember much of this movie.
In Beink Yon Malkovich, John Malkovich is in You! *
*I do not remember much of this movie.
catgrl131
+0 -0
What a wonderful movie!
That is all.
What a wonderful movie!
That is all.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I totally obliquely referenced that very scene further up the page.
I totally obliquely referenced that very scene further up the page.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
We are apparently on the same wavelength, as I promise that I wasn't really paying attention to what you posted.
Quick! what am I thinking about right now?
We are apparently on the same wavelength, as I promise that I wasn't really paying attention to what you posted.
Quick! what am I thinking about right now?
missbee
+0 -0
Way to fill up my inbox with replies about a movie that I have never seen.
Thanks a lot, theguitarhero.
Way to fill up my inbox with replies about a movie that I have never seen.
Thanks a lot, theguitarhero.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
OK, I'm going to have to get the premium FanFlow just to see Onstad riff on Jolibee. That place is hilarious. Menu items like "Chicken Joy" and "Burger Yum". 5' tall posters in the dining room of extreme close-ups of people with insane smiles as they enjoy their Jolibee delicacies.
OK, I'm going to have to get the premium FanFlow just to see Onstad riff on Jolibee. That place is hilarious. Menu items like "Chicken Joy" and "Burger Yum". 5' tall posters in the dining room of extreme close-ups of people with insane smiles as they enjoy their Jolibee delicacies.
stereo
+0 -0
Chicken so wild it'll drive you INSANE
Chicken so wild it'll drive you INSANE
irondave
+0 -0
Go and do this at once! You will not regret it, I promise you.
Go and do this at once! You will not regret it, I promise you.
belgand
+0 -0
Really? He does Jolibee? The Phillipines most popular fast food purveyor? I used to have one near me. It always seemed intensely odd.
Really? He does Jolibee? The Phillipines most popular fast food purveyor? I used to have one near me. It always seemed intensely odd.
narenial
+1 -0
This IS my alltime favourite strip so far.
This IS my alltime favourite strip so far.
vermy
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death all walk into a bar. The bartender curses to himself. "Damnit, of all the days for me to run out of raw seal blood!"
(This assumes Beef drinks Raw Seal Blood because it is low in sodium)
Roast Beef, Dracula, an Inuit and the Specter of Death all walk into a bar. The bartender curses to himself. "Damnit, of all the days for me to run out of raw seal blood!"
(This assumes Beef drinks Raw Seal Blood because it is low in sodium)
puguglypress
+0 -0
They see Teodor at the bar and immediately feel better about their own lives.
They see Teodor at the bar and immediately feel better about their own lives.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Man Beef's right. FUCK Molly! This ain't your moment, girl!
Man Beef's right. FUCK Molly! This ain't your moment, girl!
lucobrazzi88
+0 -0
and they wake up hours later with their kidneys harvested.
and they wake up hours later with their kidneys harvested.
hereforyou
+0 -0
Roast Beef, Dracula, the Inuit, the Specter of Death, and walk into a bar.
The Inuit: Roast Beef, the winds blow from the East, we are sooo adgomut. The sun is adgertitartok. We must get crispy stellas, and I would also like a cod sandwich with no bun.
Roast Beef: Hell of yes. That is the plan to try and cheer up my friends.
The Inuit: Where are your friends?
Roast Beef (looks sheepish): In my pants.
The Inuit: Adja!
The Complete Eskimo To English Dictionary:
adja = how nice!
adgomut = facing the wind
adgertitartok = peeping in and out (vg sun.)
adgomut = facing the wind
amarok = wolf
anana = beautiful
akkisartorpok = revenges
adgorpok = travels against the wind
anguyok = catches game
auma = movement of life and heat
aglerolarpok = gnashes teeth
See Appx. 1 for the 58 words for snow.
(there is no Appx. 1)
Roast Beef, Dracula, the Inuit, the Specter of Death, and walk into a bar.
The Inuit: Roast Beef, the winds blow from the East, we are sooo adgomut. The sun is adgertitartok. We must get crispy stellas, and I would also like a cod sandwich with no bun.
Roast Beef: Hell of yes. That is the plan to try and cheer up my friends.
The Inuit: Where are your friends?
Roast Beef (looks sheepish): In my pants.
The Inuit: Adja!
The Complete Eskimo To English Dictionary:
adja = how nice!
adgomut = facing the wind
adgertitartok = peeping in and out (vg sun.)
adgomut = facing the wind
amarok = wolf
anana = beautiful
akkisartorpok = revenges
adgorpok = travels against the wind
anguyok = catches game
auma = movement of life and heat
aglerolarpok = gnashes teeth
See Appx. 1 for the 58 words for snow.
(there is no Appx. 1)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NDPJohnny, Norsef, seacrow, 21echoes, daidai, ppccd, cunty, dangelder, gladi8orrex, mattbeetee, Thorfinn, flaxplus, Mattsolo, powderfinger, DavemanDeluxe, sean1058, NeoNaoNeo, Mangtastic, SixtySwine, Vice, capnb0b, dizneedave, radarjammer, flazisismuss, scion, wotan, sassacrass, snitchy, atypicaloracle, RedMange, gussiejives, TheLoneliestMonkey, ActualTaunt, Fermatprime, fancypants, woodenteeth, milkpants, xndrew, hehateme, tripleG, vexingrupert, aHatOfPig, peppill, mystkmanat, desert_donkey, lateadopter, salvar, crumpetsandtea, clembot, G-money, eidolem, hardelicious, Madoushi, Frankreich, Footbullet, ouroboros, joamiq, morbo, ISeeDeadPixels)
A comment left by powderfinger was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norrec, pokerface, Spoon, mrchee)
I think I've heard that before(well, part of it anyway).
Quote:
Claimed in the name of vapid inanity.
(you could claim any post for that, Mr. Turk)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Shinkusan, Vice, dizneedave, scion, InspectorGadget, DarkerNorm, fancypants, woodenteeth, ouroboros, joamiq, morbo, kestral)
And then doppelganger was a zombie.
touche!
douche!
gauche!
louche!
Push it real good!
Ahhhh, push it!
[IMGS OFF]
I'm desperately trying to figure this out.
The secret is that two of them rap, and one spins backing music on the turntables .
Mmm...still groping.
push it rhymes a bit like douche... it.
Oh, I got the joke. I was just telling you what I was doing.
We take that as a given - you don't need to tell us about that.
No, I need to tell you about that.
...you're doing it now, aren't you. STOP THAT.
Would you ask a whale to stop breathing? Would you ask the world to stop spinning?
I would ask a whale to stop breathing, because I do not approve of blowholes.
The sad and ill-informed opinion of someone who has never had their hole blown.
Oh god what am I even thinking posting this late I'm just going to go and then come back when my head isn't addled with fatigue and images of John Malkovich with breasts.
write it on a postcard:
dad, they broke me,
dad, they broke me
And you're my fact-checkin' cous'.
After all, they got me kicked out of Seaworld.
Maybe Beef needs her to try putting on the human ears again...
Also, what is that mystery bump in the sheet? It's still there after she turns around in the last panel!
... Todd?
IT'S A F-F-FRIKKIN' ASS , MAN! I'M GONNA FUCK THIS THING IF YOU AIN'T!
The boner gone walkabout. I really hate when that happens.
Walk-Around Boner ?
King Missile?
If you happen to see my broken toaster oven anywhere please let me know. Whenever it goes missing I feel like less of a cook and I really hate having to make toast in the broiler.
Either I am missing a reference or you really like toast.
Search for the lyrics to "Detachable Penis". Or I'll just tell you.
When he finds his penis it is sitting on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven and a man is selling it. The rest of my post implies that I have a similar problem to the missing member, but I am seeking the broken toaster oven. It is a parallel story that goes unexplored.
Oh, you need one of these babies!
Wow. I haven't thought about them in years. I wonder if I still like them. I'm sure I have my old copy of Happy Hour around somewhere. Might just have to do some diggin' when I get home.
For some reason I rather enjoyed "I wonder if I still like them"...
that is all
Well, I also liked Smashing Pumpkins and Tool around that same time. I know I don't like either of them as much now, so it's a valid question.
detachable... toaster?
Jesus was way cool
He was just alright with me.
The special purple pumps might work.
About that mystery bump? Old strip recycled, that's what. Busted, Onstad!
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua8R1gqS
The Irate Turk can't play chess either, unless he has a small guy inside.
It seems difficult to do ANYTHING with the first post these days. It's a poisoned chalice.
Oh and YOU are a male who has had this problem sometime in the last year: lame here if you've been shamed.
Sorry, I'm unable to lame you ( it's not you, it's me ).
My good man, is your name a reference to Steerpike of the Gormenghast books? Because if so then you're a little piece of wonderful.
The Gormenghast books are truly a delight. They're modernism's take on fantasy.
Disagree, sir. I have seen several powerful first posts.
Yes, several. I didn't say it was a great place to be.
Considering that, out of the past three comics, two of them were essentially FRIST POTS, I'm gonna have to agree with Patrick Bateman.
I'm pretty sure that's another Bale.
It's easy. We kill the Bateman.
No point, just wanted to say it.
[IMGS OFF]
oh, hay. what's up.
"I would say that FRIST POTS is their undisputed masterpiece."
Anyhow, the Inuit looks at him pretty mean, because in their religion it's like super rude to resemble a walrus. About twelve and a half minutes later Dracula persuades Theirateturk to make it to himself while watching The Biggest Loser. I think at the end of the joke Theirateturk's life is screwed up pretty bad. He doesn't have a lot of options.
"And I told him I hope his second wife gets eaten by a walrus too!
...apparently that's the most offensive thing you can say to a Micmac."
Man if somebody gets that reference I am going to go apeshit.
Go apeshit, you Mamet fanboy you.
Yeah! Walrus tool! wait...
Beef, An Inuit, Dracula, The Spectre of Death, and The Irate Turk walk into a bar, the bartender looks at each of them in turn and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Irate Turk walks into a bar. The bartender refuses him service. The end, no moral.
The moral is do not be Theirateturk. I think we can all learn something from this story.
morals tomorrow! a comedy tonight!
fancy pants easily makes the reference.
and dies a little inside.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum ftw.
The End! No Moral!
Hehe...look up...
Ya I know! But it's those hectic moments, when a comic has just been posted! Did not have the patience to read the other posts :X
You get seven dollars! Yes you DO!
I was totally hoping someone would make that reference
oh YES
Seven dollars is an even cuter amount of money than six dollars.
Six dollars:
https://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/06/10/article0018cb2f800000578471_468x319.jpg
Seven dollars:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/odalaigh/741574234/
And even cuter is Belgand remembering to use an IMG tag, not a URL tag.
Six dollars:
[IMGS OFF]
Seven dollars:
[IMGS OFF]
DAMMIT!! That's cute enough.
Hmm. I'm not sure a pig in boots is all that cute. But the squirrel is adorable.
I had a piglet once. Cutest little thing. Found her running in the street. She had on pink nail polish. She snuffled my feet and hopped in excitement when I fed her. Unfortunately, the next day I found her owner.
Anyway, you're wrong: The pig is cute.
Some Pig.
You're actually both right. It's just that the baby squirrel is even cuter.
Apparently the story with the pig is that it was scared to play in the mud with the other piglets. The owners remedied the situation by putting little boots on it. If I owned the pig I would name it Caligula.
The story is cuter than the pig.
This is definitely true.
Perhaps Belgand's talent is writing kid's stories. Would that be ironic?
The Boy Who Hated EVERYTHING!
by Belgand
(In the end he ends up loving everything, probably 'cause he had some kind of nightmare in which everything was actually as bad as he previously made it out to be. When he wakes up he realizes that everything is beautiful.)
Oh, the Ross Parry Agency is up to it again!
Have I called Historical MoviePhone by mistake? Awesome! I'll just hold the line.
The End, no moral
Philippe completed the joke when Circus Penis gave him seven dollars.
CUNTY FUCKS TURK IN THE EYE
That's two easily s I have now. Next time I will go for something harder.
You said "something harder."
YOU LIVE FOR THIS SHIT DON'T YOU
Thank you for linking me to a thread of me banning myself.
A narcissist-troll's wet dream.
In my head, you have to be, like, the worst person EVER to get banned from Something Awful.
Little Bill Daggett: You'd be William Munny out of Missouri. Killer of women and children.
Will Munny: That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. But, by Gawd, I never been banned from Something Awful.
[IMGS OFF]
For the reference to Unforgiven.
A comment left by soupkaty was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nabeel84, jloboeman, morbo)
man i hope that lame was for me and not for the horrible beast a werestalin would be. I figure it would be a person or critter that turns into stalin. Or if stalin was a werewolf. I think this combination would have to result in the worst person ever. The stalin part can be substituted with other historical not nice guys.
You spooked somebody so bad that they lamed you.
I figured on the night of a full moon you turned into Stalin. I liked it.
Stick to the path!
By the way, I lamed you for actually paying to use a forum populated by the people who read Something Awful. Since you asked.
haha, thank you for your honesty. you should know i didn't pay for it, though.
Oh but I want to clarify that if I had been meaning to buy one for a long time, as I love the site and it's always proved to be entertaining. Sorry my choices offend you?
Did Stalin ever bite anybody?
In soviet Russia, anybody bite Stalin...
Wait, that doesn't work.
Yes. In fact, during the great starvation of the 1910's he instituted an emergency policy called "bite the comrade"
you know I think Stalin is pretty scary by hisself. If you dont believe me go see him . Shudder.
Well don't take my word for it. For me SA is like Detroit; I know it exists but I have no interest in going there.
Or quote The Simpsons, or admit to being a furry, or troll in an annoying (as opposed to entertaining) way. Or about 50 other things I've seen that amount to being a douche.
not anymore man it is actually THE place to go for furry pornography
SOMETHINGAWFULS SICKKKEST 50 SITES ON THE WEB
- hottoonsfuckingg.com
- hentaipartymoms.com
- knockkneedkoreans.biz
- remix2ignitionvideostream.com
i kept clicking hentaipartymoms.com but nothing happened : (
In my head, I see visions of you falling down the stairs and cracking your skull open like a ripe watermelon
this insult doesn't translate well from the original Turkish.
What's happening with them sausages Charlie?
It was two minutes five minutes ago!
What's that for? Protection from Zee Germans??
I would love to contribute to this, but can't remember any quotes from that film. So it goes.
Did I inadvertently quote "Snatch?" I've never seen that movie.
I was thinking Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But you're right, it's Snatch. Both the Jason Statham characters, though.
I'm perfectly satisfied with it.
you have to be the awefullest
[Comment left by theirateturk ignored.]
Cunty chubbied for avatar/sentiment synchronicity.
yes. yes
I love this comment.
lateadopter raises his lame threshold in order to bestow the required honors. Then he lowers it again 'cause he hates that shit.
Heck of kudos for the first, my man.
Damn, dogg. You just got hella lamed.
It's like there's a party on your face and everyone's cum is invited.
Theirateturk does not make me cum.
Praise Jesus.
Your self-control is astounding.
Sorry, Irate Turk, can't let you have the first post without judging you harshly. I spent a while deciding, but I think I'm going to go with a 'lame'. Have fun trying to cope with that and going on with the empty shell you call life. The Assetbar site determines how you will be remembered. The easiest and best thing now would be for you to kill yourself.
I mean, god-damn, in the time I typed this the number of lames went up from 36 to 37 -- that's 37 people who aren't interesting in and of themselves. Shee-ut, this site is depressing.
God I hate you.
They aren't mailing the man death threats. They're clicking a little link that says "Lame".
And they're doing it because writing "I was here first" on a message board creates an eyesore and wastes everyone else's time, though not very much of it.
It also prevents me from getting the first post, which is the only reason I come here.
It's the only reason I haven't suicided yet!
That and Watchmen so if I'm not on Saturday you'll know why.