stwee
+23 -0
I fell over today. Poll so far:
Fell - 100%
Didn't fall - 0%
I fell over today. Poll so far:
Fell - 100%
Didn't fall - 0%
fourstrungout
+7 -0
Total Votes: 001
Total Votes: 001
wae
+0 -0
A comment left by wae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hypercube, dismas, robotman)
A comment left by wae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hypercube, dismas, robotman)
spinynorman
+81 -1
The fall was preceded by an enthusiastic cry of, "Rap music, my droogs!"
The fall was preceded by an enthusiastic cry of, "Rap music, my droogs!"
gormster
+6 -0
chubby this man
chubby this man
streever
+9 -0
i chubbied him
i chubbied this man
i chubbied him
i chubbied this man
spinynorman
+11 -0
My, goodness, that is a veritable plethora of chubbies. I feel like a stripper date at a high school prom.
Before you ask, yes, I went to a really ghetto high school.
My, goodness, that is a veritable plethora of chubbies. I feel like a stripper date at a high school prom.
Before you ask, yes, I went to a really ghetto high school.
epicurus
+1 -0
Man, why didn't I think of that! A stripper is in many ways an ideal prom date, though with a few caveats.
Man, why didn't I think of that! A stripper is in many ways an ideal prom date, though with a few caveats.
drskradley
+0 -0
It pretty much rules out your chances of getting prom tail, though.
It pretty much rules out your chances of getting prom tail, though.
spinynorman
+4 -0
Clearly someone has never been to a strip club when it was one stipper's birthday. She seemed to be in it more for the passion than the payment, and asked for nothing regarding advance.
Of course, I am not referencing a personal story here.
Anyways, keep in mind that if you are a stripper then you are probably at least somewhat weird sexually, and if you are willing to be paid to be a prom date, you will probably not have that many problems riding Prom Cock in the back of a Jetta.
If I am wrong, though, please, let someone speak up.
Clearly someone has never been to a strip club when it was one stipper's birthday. She seemed to be in it more for the passion than the payment, and asked for nothing regarding advance.
Of course, I am not referencing a personal story here.
Anyways, keep in mind that if you are a stripper then you are probably at least somewhat weird sexually, and if you are willing to be paid to be a prom date, you will probably not have that many problems riding Prom Cock in the back of a Jetta.
If I am wrong, though, please, let someone speak up.
streever
+1 -0
You are never wrong today.
You are never wrong today.
spicyponyhead
+4 -0
Man, if I ever became a stripper, I'd totally make it a habit to go to high school proms. All checkin' IDs to make sure kids are 18, then boning them in the backseat of a Jetta. Just for the stories they'd have to tell later. Well, and the stories I'd get to tell, all sittin' around Strippers Brunch on Sunday morning...tassels and g-strings and croissants everywhere...
Man, if I ever became a stripper, I'd totally make it a habit to go to high school proms. All checkin' IDs to make sure kids are 18, then boning them in the backseat of a Jetta. Just for the stories they'd have to tell later. Well, and the stories I'd get to tell, all sittin' around Strippers Brunch on Sunday morning...tassels and g-strings and croissants everywhere...
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
man..... my whole adult life could have been different...
man..... my whole adult life could have been different...
streever
+2 -0
I was really hoping more people would write oddly in italics, but whatever, stripper dates are good too
I was really hoping more people would write oddly in italics, but whatever, stripper dates are good too
spinynorman
+2 -0
In my mind when I type like this I am talking in a hushed whisper such as a person in the waiting room of a doctor's office, all pretending to read national geographic, pastel colors all over the damn joint
In my mind when I type like this I am talking in a hushed whisper such as a person in the waiting room of a doctor's office, all pretending to read national geographic, pastel colors all over the damn joint
streever
+4 -0
in my mind you are reading national geographic, but you are really reading roy orbison wrapped in cling film fanfic. you have with you a small terapin you have named jetta
in my mind you are reading national geographic, but you are really reading roy orbison wrapped in cling film fanfic. you have with you a small terapin you have named jetta
woodenteeth
+0 -0
please everyone google Roy Orbison Wrapped in Clingfilm. this is a public service announcement.
please everyone google Roy Orbison Wrapped in Clingfilm. this is a public service announcement.
nokococo
+0 -0
There is never enough Roy Orbison Wrapped in Clingfilm fanfic. Truth.
There is never enough Roy Orbison Wrapped in Clingfilm fanfic. Truth.
solobuttons
+3 -0
There's been a real problem with one of those kids and his lies about Jeff.
There's been a real problem with one of those kids and his lies about Jeff.
streever
+1 -0
It has. I really hope he isn't lying this time.
It has. I really hope he isn't lying this time.
peterjoel
+1 -0
Kid: A guy from the internet gave me a thousand bucks to have dinner with him! And I get more money for sending him letters that he can read in the bathroom!
Parent: This is the last lie I am going to tolerate from you young man. Now go to your room!
Kid: A guy from the internet gave me a thousand bucks to have dinner with him! And I get more money for sending him letters that he can read in the bathroom!
Parent: This is the last lie I am going to tolerate from you young man. Now go to your room!
leon_sumbitches
+0 -0
your profile image bugs me!, with the blinking and all
your profile image bugs me!, with the blinking and all
mysterymeat1001
+29 -0
Someday it'll happen all at once.
"Well...in Food-ville, they say, that the Rach's small breasts grew three sizes that day!"
Someday it'll happen all at once.
"Well...in Food-ville, they say, that the Rach's small breasts grew three sizes that day!"
rotating-dog
+1 -0
It is again established that Chris Onstad promotes the downfall of TV "chef" Rachel Ray.
It is again established that Chris Onstad promotes the downfall of TV "chef" Rachel Ray.
jordstar
+3 -0
He hates her. I had no clue who she was, so I went to her website. The smarmy blog entries on the front page read like Chris himself wrote them, from the standpoint of "With how much vitriol can I communicate to my audience that I detest this character".
He hates her. I had no clue who she was, so I went to her website. The smarmy blog entries on the front page read like Chris himself wrote them, from the standpoint of "With how much vitriol can I communicate to my audience that I detest this character".
blarghamagarky
+6 -0
Wow:
"It turns out that nothing is too private for Tim Daly, the sexy TV doctor who%u2019s talking about what it%u2019s like to make out with Kate Walsh and has some advice that every guy needs to hear. Then, what weighs 131 pounds and takes 9 hours to cook? You%u2019ve got to see the biggest burger in America!"
I think she is referring to herself as the biggest burger in America
Wow:
"It turns out that nothing is too private for Tim Daly, the sexy TV doctor who%u2019s talking about what it%u2019s like to make out with Kate Walsh and has some advice that every guy needs to hear. Then, what weighs 131 pounds and takes 9 hours to cook? You%u2019ve got to see the biggest burger in America!"
I think she is referring to herself as the biggest burger in America
spinynorman
+0 -2
I tried to give my coworker a face to the woman who attracts so much hatred from me and others of sound mind, so I did a google image search on her.
Even with Moderate Safe Search on, I don't think I found any evidence for him to hate her.
...the whore.
I tried to give my coworker a face to the woman who attracts so much hatred from me and others of sound mind, so I did a google image search on her.
Even with Moderate Safe Search on, I don't think I found any evidence for him to hate her.
...the whore.
spinynorman
+2 -0
Oh, Giada, why can you not do the same?
Granted, your shows are already like Busty Bodacious Babes Baking Part Deux, but still, even though you are a competent cook, you might as well drop any pretension of modesty, along with your colorful blouse, and toss a guy a bone. (Pun completely intended.)
Oh, Giada, why can you not do the same?
Granted, your shows are already like Busty Bodacious Babes Baking Part Deux, but still, even though you are a competent cook, you might as well drop any pretension of modesty, along with your colorful blouse, and toss a guy a bone. (Pun completely intended.)
jlynes
+1 -0
Same for that new Ingrid Hoffman broad or whatever her name is. All tits getting in the chorizo, all barrio booty pressing out the masa.
Same for that new Ingrid Hoffman broad or whatever her name is. All tits getting in the chorizo, all barrio booty pressing out the masa.
blarghamagarky
+13 -0
Yes.
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Bitch LOVES tomatoes
Yes.
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Bitch LOVES tomatoes
jlynes
+24 -0
Or bathing in the blood of a thousand virgins, freshly squeezed from their still-beating hearts.
Or bathing in the blood of a thousand virgins, freshly squeezed from their still-beating hearts.
blarghamagarky
+0 -0
I am out of chubbies but wish to commend you for this imagery none the less
I am out of chubbies but wish to commend you for this imagery none the less
jlynes
+0 -0
Thanks muchly.
Thanks muchly.
straw
+0 -0
I got you covered, sis.
I got you covered, sis.
spinynorman
+0 -0
She's got a mouth that airplanes could land in, but mother of God, I'd get her pregnant in a heartbeat.
...Also, I notice you're designated as "19, Dame." I'm not going to assume anything, you may just have good taste.
She's got a mouth that airplanes could land in, but mother of God, I'd get her pregnant in a heartbeat.
...Also, I notice you're designated as "19, Dame." I'm not going to assume anything, you may just have good taste.
blarghamagarky
+0 -0
excellent taste
excellent taste
budenhagen
+1 -0
Is it weird, that as a perfectly heterosexual male, the first thing I thought upon seeing this image is "man, she just RUINED that dress"? I think it's probably weird.
Is it weird, that as a perfectly heterosexual male, the first thing I thought upon seeing this image is "man, she just RUINED that dress"? I think it's probably weird.
tekende
+0 -0
Maybe, but it's still a valid point.
Maybe, but it's still a valid point.
blarghamagarky
+0 -0
I don't think that would make you not heterosexual so much as fiscally responsible and not wasteful.
I don't think that would make you not heterosexual so much as fiscally responsible and not wasteful.
budenhagen
+1 -0
That's an awfully nice way to say that I'm poor and therefore cheap... both of which are true, by the way.
That's an awfully nice way to say that I'm poor and therefore cheap... both of which are true, by the way.
spinynorman
+0 -0
You would need every penny you had to court Giada.
Also, as you get older, I do notice that you start thinking of money that way. Like, when I was watching Casino Royale , I kept thinking, "I bet this was expensive as fuck to make..."
You should think that way. Or at least I think you should...
You would need every penny you had to court Giada.
Also, as you get older, I do notice that you start thinking of money that way. Like, when I was watching Casino Royale , I kept thinking, "I bet this was expensive as fuck to make..."
You should think that way. Or at least I think you should...
spinynorman
+0 -0
Don't worry, doggie, we ain't gonna be all homophobic at you.
Don't worry, doggie, we ain't gonna be all homophobic at you.
bjorntd
+0 -0
I'd let her squeeze my tomatoes, if you know what I mean.
[If you don't know what I mean: juggling bozacks.]
I'd let her squeeze my tomatoes, if you know what I mean.
[If you don't know what I mean: juggling bozacks.]
woodjay
+0 -0
the arched eyebrow here is perfect!
the arched eyebrow here is perfect!
ham_shoes
+0 -0
SCARED OF THAT WOMAN
She looks like she might "drown this baby up a notch"
SCARED OF THAT WOMAN
She looks like she might "drown this baby up a notch"
ghede
+2 -0
You can't cook a person for nine hours! It will be black and crispy! Besides, if it is 131 pounds, you are either cooking it one the bone, or you are cooking mostly fat. You have to first get the meat from the ribs, that make excellent jerky. Then you... I can't continue, this is too much even for me.
Although, the ribs thing is true. So says Alfred Packer, Rancher, Guide, Cannibal.
You can't cook a person for nine hours! It will be black and crispy! Besides, if it is 131 pounds, you are either cooking it one the bone, or you are cooking mostly fat. You have to first get the meat from the ribs, that make excellent jerky. Then you... I can't continue, this is too much even for me.
Although, the ribs thing is true. So says Alfred Packer, Rancher, Guide, Cannibal.
quantumcasaba
+2 -0
..but that's not the way it happened!
Ahh, shpadoinkle.
..but that's not the way it happened!
Ahh, shpadoinkle.
rotating-dog
+1 -0
The Rocky Mountains, i gotta warn ya! You're doomed, doomed, doomed! You're all doomed. Doomed.
The Rocky Mountains, i gotta warn ya! You're doomed, doomed, doomed! You're all doomed. Doomed.
tinhand
+0 -0
When I google-imaged Rachel Ray, I got this picture:
[IMGS OFF]
And assumed that's what she looked like. Apparently I was wrong in saying she looked like an uglier Martha Stewart
When I google-imaged Rachel Ray, I got this picture:
[IMGS OFF]
And assumed that's what she looked like. Apparently I was wrong in saying she looked like an uglier Martha Stewart
spectre
+5 -1
. . . thanks to The Friendly Doctor With Silicone. Yay!
(I know this doesn't sit right coming from an Achewoodian, but I would DEFINATELY do Rachel Ray. I think she'd be more, umm, earthy, than Nigella.)
. . . thanks to The Friendly Doctor With Silicone. Yay!
(I know this doesn't sit right coming from an Achewoodian, but I would DEFINATELY do Rachel Ray. I think she'd be more, umm, earthy, than Nigella.)
tinhand
+2 -0
*immediately heads to google-images to cross-compare*
Umm...
No.
Rachel Rae looks like Martha Stewart but with even less sex appeal. Nigella Lawson has fat titties. This is a no-brainer.
*immediately heads to google-images to cross-compare*
Umm...
No.
Rachel Rae looks like Martha Stewart but with even less sex appeal. Nigella Lawson has fat titties. This is a no-brainer.
jordstar
+1 -0
I didn't know who Nigella Lawson was, either, until Google Image Search. Wow! THIS IS A HOMEBOY!!!
I didn't know who Nigella Lawson was, either, until Google Image Search. Wow! THIS IS A HOMEBOY!!!
jlynes
+2 -0
Who likes Nigella?
ME. (This guy.)
Who likes Nigella?
ME. (This guy.)
digdugz
+25 -0
Your search - nigella lawson COME ON SHOW ME HER NAKED - did not match any documents.
Your search - nigella lawson COME ON SHOW ME HER NAKED - did not match any documents.
pyro_ike
+0 -0
A comment left by pyro_ike was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sneechles, Conn, peterjoel)
A comment left by pyro_ike was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sneechles, Conn, peterjoel)
norrin
+0 -0
A comment left by norrin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by zumicroom, augeno13, joebot)
A comment left by norrin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by zumicroom, augeno13, joebot)
augeno13
+20 -0
It's been a long-standing adage of mine that you can't learn anything from Rachael Ray that you can't learn from the back of a Ritz crackers box. Then her recipes started showing up on Rits crackers boxes.
It's been a long-standing adage of mine that you can't learn anything from Rachael Ray that you can't learn from the back of a Ritz crackers box. Then her recipes started showing up on Rits crackers boxes.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Truly, you are the Confucius of the Food Network.
Truly, you are the Confucius of the Food Network.
norrin
+2 -1
Lamed for my taste in women? This makes me a sad panda.
Lamed for my taste in women? This makes me a sad panda.
thatskotkid
+0 -0
...rhino?
...rhino?
budenhagen
+0 -0
...boned?
...boned?
ford
+2 -0
The best possible resolution to this debate would be to envision a threesome. That way you have no need to debate which one is hotter.
The best possible resolution to this debate would be to envision a threesome. That way you have no need to debate which one is hotter.
peterjoel
+0 -0
Rachel is pretty familiar with Nigella's titties...
[IMGS OFF]
Rachel is pretty familiar with Nigella's titties...
[IMGS OFF]
peterjoel
+5 -0
That will teach me not to link to other people's images. Take 2:
[IMGS OFF]
That will teach me not to link to other people's images. Take 2:
[IMGS OFF]
biff
+1 -0
I have never watched Rachel Ray on TV. I hope I can maintain that indefinitely.
However, I have seen a reasonably entertaining Rachel Ray video . You might want to check it out.
I have never watched Rachel Ray on TV. I hope I can maintain that indefinitely.
However, I have seen a reasonably entertaining Rachel Ray video . You might want to check it out.
grebbo
+1 -0
Definitely a grope there!
Definitely a grope there!
jlynes
+0 -0
On the left: naked, unadulterated jealousy.
On the right: Sexuality incarnate.
On the left: naked, unadulterated jealousy.
On the right: Sexuality incarnate.
streever
+0 -0
A comment left by streever was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by katal, sneechles, kelissamunz, whoppin)
A comment left by streever was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by katal, sneechles, kelissamunz, whoppin)
streever
+1 -0
or, I guess, "Those are my thoughts"
Are they?
or, I guess, "Those are my thoughts"
Are they?
wittyname
+1 -0
Not when they are everyones thoughts, no.
Not when they are everyones thoughts, no.
tekende
+1 -0
I don't know. Do you have the receipt to prove it?
I don't know. Do you have the receipt to prove it?
quantumcasaba
+10 -1
Sure do, it's at home.
Filed away under T.
For Thoughts.
(Not quite D for Donut)
Sure do, it's at home.
Filed away under T.
For Thoughts.
(Not quite D for Donut)
tekende
+2 -0
Haha, a tribute to the late great Mitch Hedberg. Excellent. Here's a chubby--you can have it after you find the Dufranes.
Haha, a tribute to the late great Mitch Hedberg. Excellent. Here's a chubby--you can have it after you find the Dufranes.
loneal
+1 -0
Don't even act like I didn't have those thoughts.
Don't even act like I didn't have those thoughts.
tsrts13
+0 -0
mitch hedberg reference = chubby.
mitch hedberg reference = chubby.
tourach3
+3 -2
have you seen the pictures she did for maxim a couple years ago?
YUMMO
have you seen the pictures she did for maxim a couple years ago?
YUMMO
peterjoel
+2 -0
Why does this guy get chubbies for talking about some pictures? Hold onto your chubbies people, until he has produced the goods.
Why does this guy get chubbies for talking about some pictures? Hold onto your chubbies people, until he has produced the goods.
ntopp
+3 -0
I hope that's the last time I ever hear (read) that phrase.
I hope that's the last time I ever hear (read) that phrase.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yes.
yes.
illuminatedwax
+0 -0
it was FHM
it was FHM
streever
+0 -0
I threw up a little
You are talking about someone being attractive in a "photo shoot" and using "YUMMO" at the same time
I feel very strange.
I threw up a little
You are talking about someone being attractive in a "photo shoot" and using "YUMMO" at the same time
I feel very strange.
tucky
+0 -0
FHM, homeboy. not Maxim.
FHM, homeboy. not Maxim.
tucky
+0 -0
... And now i know to read another four comments down before getting all self-righteous about my gentleman's magazines for no reason.
... And now i know to read another four comments down before getting all self-righteous about my gentleman's magazines for no reason.
epicurus
+0 -0
"Earthy" = black resin on bottoms of feet, minature ecosystems.
"Earthy" = black resin on bottoms of feet, minature ecosystems.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
That wouldn't be as funny if I didn't imagine Col. Sanders' kindly old-man voice saying that out loud
That wouldn't be as funny if I didn't imagine Col. Sanders' kindly old-man voice saying that out loud
rjt210
+1 -1
those caves, man. those caves. just don't get 'em.
those caves, man. those caves. just don't get 'em.
wae
+16 -0
Can a cave have a Mayor?
Can a cave have a Mayor?
jordstar
+0 -0
I just Zen'd out to that.
I just Zen'd out to that.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I don't think the Mayor will want to govern that cave after the kid farted in it.
I don't think the Mayor will want to govern that cave after the kid farted in it.
opalleye
+1 -0
The silhouette of his computer reminds me of another attempt of Teodor's to appease Philippe.
The silhouette of his computer reminds me of another attempt of Teodor's to appease Philippe.
troutman
+12 -1
if teodor wanted to give the mickey food thing another go he could always try these:
[IMGS OFF]
(Note to consumers: 68% of "Mickey Burgers" test positive for human fecal matter.)
if teodor wanted to give the mickey food thing another go he could always try these:
[IMGS OFF]
(Note to consumers: 68% of "Mickey Burgers" test positive for human fecal matter.)
spectre
+0 -0
Could you please source that? I need to know.
Could you please source that? I need to know.
usversusthem
+1 -0
For some reason I'm tremendously reminded of "HELP I did a 2 but I wanted to do a 1 (HURRY!)," but I can't think why...
For some reason I'm tremendously reminded of "HELP I did a 2 but I wanted to do a 1 (HURRY!)," but I can't think why...
ibetso
+7 -0
"Mickey Burgers" are a much funnier concept when you're from Ireland, where mickey is a slang word for a dick.
"Mickey Burgers" are a much funnier concept when you're from Ireland, where mickey is a slang word for a dick.
mattfish
+0 -0
and slipping someone a mickey takes on a whole new meaning
and slipping someone a mickey takes on a whole new meaning
hollis
+0 -1
And what about "taking the mickey out" of someone?
And what about "taking the mickey out" of someone?
pkitty
+20 -0
It's the "179,213 topics and over 23 replies!" that does it for me. Kids on the interweb indeed.
It's the "179,213 topics and over 23 replies!" that does it for me. Kids on the interweb indeed.
synnah
+6 -0
I hope at least one of those 23 replies was for the guy who did a 2. He sounded quite urgent.
I hope at least one of those 23 replies was for the guy who did a 2. He sounded quite urgent.
tapaidhnaomh
+14 -1
Off the shark Seuss did not jump,
That little kid is just a grump.
Read his comments and you will see,
His thoughts poisoned with jealousy.
Off the shark Seuss did not jump,
That little kid is just a grump.
Read his comments and you will see,
His thoughts poisoned with jealousy.
iidebaser
+0 -0
A comment left by iidebaser was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GregChant, n00b, Conn, dr_sexlove)
A comment left by iidebaser was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GregChant, n00b, Conn, dr_sexlove)
slab64
+0 -0
You don't jump off the shark, you jump over it.
Happy Days. Get it straight.
You don't jump off the shark, you jump over it.
Happy Days. Get it straight.
brisk87
+3 -0
I wonder if Nostradamus got the secret Taco Bell menu back in the day...
I wonder if Nostradamus got the secret Taco Bell menu back in the day...
thebarbarian
+16 -1
Comic Sans! Noooo! KHAAAAAAAN!
Comic Sans! Noooo! KHAAAAAAAN!
wonelove
+0 -0
Over 23 replies!
Over 23 replies!
rygarrett2
+0 -0
caves are hard
caves are hard
caddon
+1 -0
Should the hands of an over-12-year-old touch the keys of a Special Kid Computer, the ear-nodes explode into twisted shrapnel.
Phillipe Is Safe.
Should the hands of an over-12-year-old touch the keys of a Special Kid Computer, the ear-nodes explode into twisted shrapnel.
Phillipe Is Safe.
mikeleffel2
+0 -1
Well at least his topics don't include silly chest tats, Mr. Bearier-than-thou!
Well at least his topics don't include silly chest tats, Mr. Bearier-than-thou!
trollcollins
+0 -0
But that was for charity!
But that was for charity!
coldfrog
+6 -1
Ouch! (closed)
Poster: Eric
,i>Owwahhhhaaafvvcioh;oghdwe [v3rthnbb ,\i>
Reply: Eric
nevar mind momy got a band, ayd.
Ouch! (closed)
Poster: Eric
,i>Owwahhhhaaafvvcioh;oghdwe [v3rthnbb ,\i>
Reply: Eric
nevar mind momy got a band, ayd.
storableprawn
+0 -0
I thought the olive oil was the Greek's ersatz fountain of youth.
I thought the olive oil was the Greek's ersatz fountain of youth.
drskradley
+3 -0
I gave this a 5, but not for funnies. No, I gave this a 5 for complicated insight - mainly for all the little references to stereotypical messageboard drama. Arguable as to the artistic merit of this, sure, but I appreciated it. Hence, a 5 was wrought upon the sorry face of the rating system.
I gave this a 5, but not for funnies. No, I gave this a 5 for complicated insight - mainly for all the little references to stereotypical messageboard drama. Arguable as to the artistic merit of this, sure, but I appreciated it. Hence, a 5 was wrought upon the sorry face of the rating system.
phy
+6 -0
I believe the words I'm looking for are horrible microcosm .
I believe the words I'm looking for are horrible microcosm .
ghede
+0 -0
... Chubbied. I have never seen more perfect words for bad message boards.
... Chubbied. I have never seen more perfect words for bad message boards.
drskradley
+0 -0
Meanwhile, nobody has yet asked: can Nolan get on this board? The man does have connections and massive rep in the kinked community.
Meanwhile, nobody has yet asked: can Nolan get on this board? The man does have connections and massive rep in the kinked community.
methadone
+1 -0
Don't worry about Nolan, Ray was paying attention.
Don't worry about Nolan, Ray was paying attention.
dominus101
+2 -0
Or, more likely, Beef was.
Or, more likely, Beef was.
pyro_ike
+1 -0
I don't think he was necessarily into kids, as much as he was into potties and/or pals.
I don't think he was necessarily into kids, as much as he was into potties and/or pals.
myrrdisparo
+0 -0
Maybe he had a pals addiction (I shudder at the mere thought of a potty addiction)
Maybe he had a pals addiction (I shudder at the mere thought of a potty addiction)
sargasm
+0 -0
There are no victories to be had when the Internet is involved.
There are no victories to be had when the Internet is involved.
andrew_
+1 -1
Mr. Bear's been hitting the sauce a lot lately.
of course, I don't blame him.
Mr. Bear's been hitting the sauce a lot lately.
of course, I don't blame him.
peterjoel
+9 -0
I assume the 23 replies all occurred before Ray dealt with Nolan.
I assume the 23 replies all occurred before Ray dealt with Nolan.
byronic
+0 -1
Actually, Greek people don't di early.
They just wish they did.
Actually, Greek people don't di early.
They just wish they did.
cuddlefish
+0 -1
I must repeat to those again who would choose rachael ray over nigella lawson... well.. our work is cut out in liberating such a beauty from her husband and children. but our rewards... OH... so sweet!
I must repeat to those again who would choose rachael ray over nigella lawson... well.. our work is cut out in liberating such a beauty from her husband and children. but our rewards... OH... so sweet!
deovalente
+0 -0
I'm not sure I understand this one. How is this different from the vast majority of messageboards out there? :(
(I don't understand caves either, but I have at least come to accept that.)
I'm not sure I understand this one. How is this different from the vast majority of messageboards out there? :(
(I don't understand caves either, but I have at least come to accept that.)
baryonyx
+0 -0
The difference is that kids haven't come to accept their bafflement at caves.
The difference is that kids haven't come to accept their bafflement at caves.
trollcollins
+0 -0
You obviously frequent wrong messageboards!
Nah, avoiding pointless idiocy on the internet is like avoiding dank fetid smells in a basement apartment shared by several University freshmen. Certain parts of both the apartment and the internet stank less bad than others though!
You obviously frequent wrong messageboards!
Nah, avoiding pointless idiocy on the internet is like avoiding dank fetid smells in a basement apartment shared by several University freshmen. Certain parts of both the apartment and the internet stank less bad than others though!
deovalente
+0 -0
Perhaps you're right. But there's no option to get rid of the Yahoo! Answers panel on the Yahoo! Sports NHL page.
Perhaps you're right. But there's no option to get rid of the Yahoo! Answers panel on the Yahoo! Sports NHL page.
dissembly
+0 -0
Note the "179,213 threads, 23 replies" down the bottom of the screen.
Note the "179,213 threads, 23 replies" down the bottom of the screen.
artvandelay
+0 -0
Its ok kid, I don't get caves either.
Fell over today 100%
Didn't Fall over today 0%
Total votes: 2
Its ok kid, I don't get caves either.
Fell over today 100%
Didn't Fall over today 0%
Total votes: 2
baryonyx
+0 -0
Fell over today: 66%
Didn't Fall over today: 33%
Total votes: 3
OH FUCK MATHEMATICS ARE INVOLVED NOW.
Fell over today: 66%
Didn't Fall over today: 33%
Total votes: 3
OH FUCK MATHEMATICS ARE INVOLVED NOW.
peterjoel
+83 -2
This poll is now closed.
Final results:
Fell over today: 66%
Didn't Fall over today: 33%
Total votes: 3
Create a new poll | See more polls | return to My Cool Page
---- Ads by Google ----
Britney Spears falling over, nipple slip! Videos and more!
-------------------------------------
This weeks popular polls:
Who fell over today? >hot!< ( see results )
Who fell over today? >hot!< ( see results )
Who fell over today? ( see results )
Who fell over today? ( see results )
---- Ads by Google ----
Like Potties AND Pals? Get Potty Pals! Click here
-------------------------------------
Your recent posts:
Who likes potties AND pals? 3 hrs ago (0 replies)
How can I make my Kid Computer do ebay? 4 hours ago (0 replies)
Hello!!! My name is Philippe!!!!! 7 hours ago (0 replies)
This poll is now closed.
Final results:
Fell over today: 66%
Didn't Fall over today: 33%
Total votes: 3
Create a new poll | See more polls | return to My Cool Page
---- Ads by Google ----
Britney Spears falling over, nipple slip! Videos and more!
-------------------------------------
This weeks popular polls:
Who fell over today? >hot!< ( see results )
Who fell over today? >hot!< ( see results )
Who fell over today? ( see results )
Who fell over today? ( see results )
---- Ads by Google ----
Like Potties AND Pals? Get Potty Pals! Click here
-------------------------------------
Your recent posts:
Who likes potties AND pals? 3 hrs ago (0 replies)
How can I make my Kid Computer do ebay? 4 hours ago (0 replies)
Hello!!! My name is Philippe!!!!! 7 hours ago (0 replies)
streever
+2 -0
medium rare
(medium rare is the new well done)
medium rare
(medium rare is the new well done)
synnah
+1 -1
Hell of chubbies, yo.
(Am I the first person to say that? I hope so.)
Hell of chubbies, yo.
(Am I the first person to say that? I hope so.)
buttermoths
+0 -0
My God, it's...it's actually possible that you ARE.
My God, it's...it's actually possible that you ARE.
peterjoel
+0 -0
Sorry, you aren't
Sorry, you aren't
madnes
+0 -0
At last, recognition!
/zoidberg
At last, recognition!
/zoidberg
synnah
+0 -0
Damn. Well, my hat is off to madnes. And to the two people who bothered to search for it!
Damn. Well, my hat is off to madnes. And to the two people who bothered to search for it!
lexsenthur
+0 -0
First google hit
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2CrMWb
First google hit
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2CrMWb
atticusonline
+0 -0
I miss my computer.
I miss my computer.
coolbreeze3
+1 -0
BA HA HA. 5 stars for Alison, 7, Baton Rouge!
BA HA HA. 5 stars for Alison, 7, Baton Rouge!
johnnylandmine
+0 -0
With the exception of Comic Sans, this looks a lot more engaging and intellectually-stimulating than most message boards.
With the exception of Comic Sans, this looks a lot more engaging and intellectually-stimulating than most message boards.
johnnylandmine
+3 -0
Also I have thought that exact same thing about cars.
Also I have thought that exact same thing about cars.
baryonyx
+2 -1
If Onstad compiled every Phileppe-oriented strip in the archive into one volume and published the collection under the title "The Book of Phileppe," I would give him my money.
If Onstad compiled every Phileppe-oriented strip in the archive into one volume and published the collection under the title "The Book of Phileppe," I would give him my money.
pr0ncess
+0 -0
You did it twice, so it's obviously not a typo. So why?
You did it twice, so it's obviously not a typo. So why?
baryonyx
+1 -0
Oh, bugger. Here I was stressing about how many l's and p's there are, and I got a dratted vowel wrong. Bogsod it all.
Oh, bugger. Here I was stressing about how many l's and p's there are, and I got a dratted vowel wrong. Bogsod it all.
toiletstore
+7 -0
Ouch! (closed)
Posted by: Babar
fell over today :(
1 Reply
By: Rupert
ABP n00b
USER WAS PERMA-BANNED FOR THIS POST
____________
This topic is locked, meaning that no further posts are allowed.
Ouch! (closed)
Posted by: Babar
fell over today :(
1 Reply
By: Rupert
ABP n00b
USER WAS PERMA-BANNED FOR THIS POST
____________
This topic is locked, meaning that no further posts are allowed.
tourach3
+0 -0
FYNGERS OF SAUSSAGE FOR THE WIN
FYNGERS OF SAUSSAGE FOR THE WIN
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
This feels a lot like the first Achewood strips.
This feels a lot like the first Achewood strips.
trollcollins
+1 -0
Oh, Cornelius Bear and your well-practiced sigh.
The internet is pure distilled human condition (this does not excuse its sometimes-loathsomeness but rather explains it). I think Onstad made a successful attempt at providing us a glimpse of a Kid Internet that is pure distilled Kid condition.
Oh, Cornelius Bear and your well-practiced sigh.
The internet is pure distilled human condition (this does not excuse its sometimes-loathsomeness but rather explains it). I think Onstad made a successful attempt at providing us a glimpse of a Kid Internet that is pure distilled Kid condition.
caseyb3
+2 -0
The Eternal Childhood of Philippe the Otter Marches On.
The timeline strip gave me the horrible idea that Philippe is some kind of malignant immortal who gets some kind of (asexual but still horribly creepy) jollies out of pretending to be five. It is either that or he is just the most enthusiastic any boy has ever been about being a child.
He is so used to it he expects a computer with mouse ears and gets indignant when people get mad at him.
There is a guy who actually does this. He was a major programmer before he decided he was a child. Someone else probably knows who it is.
The Eternal Childhood of Philippe the Otter Marches On.
The timeline strip gave me the horrible idea that Philippe is some kind of malignant immortal who gets some kind of (asexual but still horribly creepy) jollies out of pretending to be five. It is either that or he is just the most enthusiastic any boy has ever been about being a child.
He is so used to it he expects a computer with mouse ears and gets indignant when people get mad at him.
There is a guy who actually does this. He was a major programmer before he decided he was a child. Someone else probably knows who it is.
trapperjohn
+0 -0
Ah, yeah. It was an old phreaker -- he called himself Joybubbles or something like that when he decided he was a child again.
Ah, yeah. It was an old phreaker -- he called himself Joybubbles or something like that when he decided he was a child again.
caseyb3
+0 -0
Thanks. I love the story, it speaks to a lot of stuff for me. It is substantially less hilarious now it turns out he's dead, though.
Choice bit from the interview WP uses as a source:
How old are you actually?
Five forever. Yep, that%u2019s how old I am "actually".
Thanks. I love the story, it speaks to a lot of stuff for me. It is substantially less hilarious now it turns out he's dead, though.
Choice bit from the interview WP uses as a source:
How old are you actually?
Five forever. Yep, that%u2019s how old I am "actually".
caseyb3
+1 -0
Inappropriate markup, you are not invited to my pizza party.
Inappropriate markup, you are not invited to my pizza party.
irondave
+1 -0
I think Phillippe in the timeline strip represented the eternal, unconditional love of children. It is five.
I think Phillippe in the timeline strip represented the eternal, unconditional love of children. It is five.
caseyb3
+0 -0
From an authorial intent standpoint you've got it exactly right. (I hope - then again, the 'retarded otter' angle suggests maybe it's more complex than all that.)
I loved that one, though, especially the Philippe part. Someone pointed out that that might just be how the characters see their lives going, and that made me a bit happier. But then someone pointed out Philippe in the same panel as Teodor dying - and that Teodor is the one who puts him to bed. That genuinely made me cry.
That is almost as cold as Jurassic Bark. Make no mistake, Onstad is pro ice.
From an authorial intent standpoint you've got it exactly right. (I hope - then again, the 'retarded otter' angle suggests maybe it's more complex than all that.)
I loved that one, though, especially the Philippe part. Someone pointed out that that might just be how the characters see their lives going, and that made me a bit happier. But then someone pointed out Philippe in the same panel as Teodor dying - and that Teodor is the one who puts him to bed. That genuinely made me cry.
That is almost as cold as Jurassic Bark. Make no mistake, Onstad is pro ice.
slab64
+0 -0
Has anyone ever posited the fact that the "retarded otter" statement might just refer to his physical growth? It doesn't only have to be mental.
Has anyone ever posited the fact that the "retarded otter" statement might just refer to his physical growth? It doesn't only have to be mental.
illuminatedwax
+0 -0
My first instinct was to proclaim that Dr. Seuss has never jumped the shark.
I am going to destroy all of my computers.
My first instinct was to proclaim that Dr. Seuss has never jumped the shark.
I am going to destroy all of my computers.
songbirdspectre
+1 -0
BEST. POLL. EVER.
*votes yes*
*every damn day*
BEST. POLL. EVER.
*votes yes*
*every damn day*
doomglobe
+0 -0
That is exactly what the original achewood messageboard was like!
That is exactly what the original achewood messageboard was like!
pyromancer
+0 -1
Love your 'tar! It makes me wish these things could have sound.
Love your 'tar! It makes me wish these things could have sound.
vermy
+0 -0
What was said on "Ouch!" to get it closed?
What was said on "Ouch!" to get it closed?
jordstar
+0 -0
Greek People: is the kid's dad correct?
Greek People: is the kid's dad correct?
lost_buoy
+6 -0
Prithee, yon ault texte striketh mine humour! Chortling did commynce forthwith. Onftad bryngeth hylarritie!
Prithee, yon ault texte striketh mine humour! Chortling did commynce forthwith. Onftad bryngeth hylarritie!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this is the best archaic english i have seen on here.
chubbied.
this is the best archaic english i have seen on here.
chubbied.
kchalm10
+0 -0
Is Philippe rocking an Xo-1 from OLPC?
Is Philippe rocking an Xo-1 from OLPC?
ashemon
+4 -0
I believe it is the Disney Dream PC.
[IMGS OFF]
I believe it is the Disney Dream PC.
[IMGS OFF]
ashoykh
+0 -0
no, the UI is clearly made by apple (notice the slider).
although, I'm sure the ears are speakers in the apple version as well.
no, the UI is clearly made by apple (notice the slider).
although, I'm sure the ears are speakers in the apple version as well.
staticsynth
+1 -1
Note the strategic placement of the [Mickey] mouse ears, so as to avoid any legal ramifications.
Note the strategic placement of the [Mickey] mouse ears, so as to avoid any legal ramifications.
centipede_damascus
+0 -0
I wonder if that kid ever came to understand caves. I hope so.
I wonder if that kid ever came to understand caves. I hope so.
aliiis
+0 -0
I hadn't really thought about that :|
I will hope so, too :)
I hadn't really thought about that :|
I will hope so, too :)
nabeel84
+3 -0
Apparently with 179000 topics and 23 replies, very few kids actually care enough to respond. I assume Philippe has the compassion.
Apparently with 179000 topics and 23 replies, very few kids actually care enough to respond. I assume Philippe has the compassion.
katsura
+1 -0
Or they just have phenomenally short attention spans!
Or they just have phenomenally short attention spans!
quinlaenar
+2 -0
Ouch! (Closed)
hey check out this picture of [PICTURE DELETED, ADMIN EDIT]!!! total ouch!
~~~Thread Locked~~~
Ouch! (Closed)
hey check out this picture of [PICTURE DELETED, ADMIN EDIT]!!! total ouch!
~~~Thread Locked~~~
samodrei
+1 -0
These threads are totally things Phillipe would say. Especially the "Who fell over today?" one.
ps: Comic Sans? i thought they taught him a lesson.
These threads are totally things Phillipe would say. Especially the "Who fell over today?" one.
ps: Comic Sans? i thought they taught him a lesson.
lamewad
+0 -0
Bah. I mentioned the font without noticing your post first. You get a chub.
Bah. I mentioned the font without noticing your post first. You get a chub.
fjak
+0 -0
A comment left by fjak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, mike24, Bartleby)
A comment left by fjak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, mike24, Bartleby)
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
how did you miss the...
first word: THE bends
how did you miss the...
first word: THE bends
axhoola
+0 -0
Perhaps he forgot about it...
because he is an AMNESIAC
Perhaps he forgot about it...
because he is an AMNESIAC
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
not that it matters much as he is not Phillipe, who is busy playing imagination games IN RAINBOWS.
not that it matters much as he is not Phillipe, who is busy playing imagination games IN RAINBOWS.
slab64
+1 -0
I don't think there are any more hidden Radiohead references. But I MIGHT BE WRONG.
I don't think there are any more hidden Radiohead references. But I MIGHT BE WRONG.
mike24
+0 -0
is the joke that nice pete is posting on a kid's message board as a seven-year-old girl?
is the joke that nice pete is posting on a kid's message board as a seven-year-old girl?
tekende
+4 -0
I don't think so, Tim.
I don't think so, Tim.
falseprophet
+1 -0
Rachael Ray's cup size is a prominent topic among kindergarten pundits. They are going on Fox News saying this will be a watershed year for hack cook boobs, but academics researching the issue largely disagree.
Rachael Ray's cup size is a prominent topic among kindergarten pundits. They are going on Fox News saying this will be a watershed year for hack cook boobs, but academics researching the issue largely disagree.
lost_buoy
+1 -0
Giada de Laurentiis is, in and of herself, a watershed of hack cook boobs, not to mention a couple of reservoirs, and perhaps one should throw in a land trust of underground glacial springs just to cover all the huge... TRACTS OF LAND!
Giada de Laurentiis is, in and of herself, a watershed of hack cook boobs, not to mention a couple of reservoirs, and perhaps one should throw in a land trust of underground glacial springs just to cover all the huge... TRACTS OF LAND!
falseprophet
+0 -0
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
*Translation into Modern English:
Skeet! Skeet! Skeet! Skeet!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
*Translation into Modern English:
Skeet! Skeet! Skeet! Skeet!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
huge...tracts of land
yes. it is a good reference i reply to. (for?)
huge...tracts of land
yes. it is a good reference i reply to. (for?)
lamewad
+2 -0
In Comic Sans, no less.
In Comic Sans, no less.
talbain
+1 -0
That computer generates its own message board posts. It's not hooked up to the internet. Phillipe is safe.
That computer generates its own message board posts. It's not hooked up to the internet. Phillipe is safe.
jeet
+0 -0
Drinky Crow, however, is not.
Drinky Crow, however, is not.
cousinted
+0 -0
That computer cost $1200.00
That computer cost $1200.00
falseprophet
+0 -0
And it runs Windows Vista.
And it runs Windows Vista.
oltanya
+1 -0
HELP I did a :( but I wanted to do a :) (HURRY!)
HELP I did a :( but I wanted to do a :) (HURRY!)
cpnglxynchos
+2 -2
115. The "Eleven-Year-Old"
You and the lady are walking past an elementary school on the way to a diner. She does a :(
SOLUTION: Glare at the school and mutter something about boys 'experimenting'.
ALTERNATE: Ask her if she heard that novice truck driver's jake brake.
115. The "Eleven-Year-Old"
You and the lady are walking past an elementary school on the way to a diner. She does a :(
SOLUTION: Glare at the school and mutter something about boys 'experimenting'.
ALTERNATE: Ask her if she heard that novice truck driver's jake brake.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
eph. title not in caps.
eph. title not in caps.
abc_heidi
+2 -0
Surely this is just Gaia Online right?
Surely this is just Gaia Online right?
heccibiggs
+1 -0
Man, Achewood is just full of Facebook status gold. For example, mine right now is "Becci doesn't understand caves :("
Of course, there will be literally three people who will get it, but what can you do.
Man, Achewood is just full of Facebook status gold. For example, mine right now is "Becci doesn't understand caves :("
Of course, there will be literally three people who will get it, but what can you do.
synnah
+2 -0
"David did a 2 but wanted to do a 1"
Perhaps best not to use that one.
"David did a 2 but wanted to do a 1"
Perhaps best not to use that one.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
at least you know people that will Understand it.
i've shown Achewood to many of my friends and they heck of just take a step back with a quizzical expression.
at least you know people that will Understand it.
i've shown Achewood to many of my friends and they heck of just take a step back with a quizzical expression.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
new years resolution:
get cooler friends.
new years resolution:
get cooler friends.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Ah, you see, I was one of the ones that got shown. A couple of my friends made Achewood jokes and references all the time and eventually I just decided to read it out of annoyance and boredom at never understanding what the fuck they were talking about. And now it's a massive influence on me too.
Ah, you see, I was one of the ones that got shown. A couple of my friends made Achewood jokes and references all the time and eventually I just decided to read it out of annoyance and boredom at never understanding what the fuck they were talking about. And now it's a massive influence on me too.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
let's be friends.
How Do You Know Becci?
Met Randomly.
What's the story here? optional
Achewood, and that's the deal!
let's be friends.
How Do You Know Becci?
Met Randomly.
What's the story here? optional
Achewood, and that's the deal!
hbaranov
+0 -0
I feel sorry for the child of the dad who hates greeks. They aren't all bad.
I feel sorry for the child of the dad who hates greeks. They aren't all bad.
caseyb3
+0 -0
See, it's talk like that that makes a kids' computer necessary .
See, it's talk like that that makes a kids' computer necessary .
hbaranov
+0 -0
Indeed *sighs*
Indeed *sighs*
rogergs
+0 -0
Cornelius sighs defeat as he realizes the cricket bat is not enough.
Cornelius sighs defeat as he realizes the cricket bat is not enough.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, michellemarie, cellphonedick, lost_buoy)
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, michellemarie, cellphonedick, lost_buoy)
budenhagen
+1 -0
Nope.
Nope.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
I think we've been through this.
I think we've been through this.
mo_rose
+0 -0
Chubby for Cornelius Strife avatar.
Chubby for Cornelius Strife avatar.
drskradley
+0 -0
I'm trying to think of a way Achewood actually could jump the shark, and I can't. If it wasn't counted as shark jumping when Pat turned gay, then what can it be?*
*I do not think it was shark jumping when Pat turned gay due to a hereditary curse from a king. I, instead, think this was awesome.
I'm trying to think of a way Achewood actually could jump the shark, and I can't. If it wasn't counted as shark jumping when Pat turned gay, then what can it be?*
*I do not think it was shark jumping when Pat turned gay due to a hereditary curse from a king. I, instead, think this was awesome.
nonamejoe
+0 -0
I'm impressed that those little kids have better spelling than most of the adults posting to message boards. Most message boards look like they were written by multiple Lyles in a bitchfest smackdown.
I'm impressed that those little kids have better spelling than most of the adults posting to message boards. Most message boards look like they were written by multiple Lyles in a bitchfest smackdown.
ashoykh
+0 -0
Does this strip mean to make fun of us ?
Does this strip mean to make fun of us ?
cowsfeelchicken
+0 -0
hmmm, im a bit perplexed over this whole downward-pointing-arrow thing. does Onstad really think we cant figure it out? or, maybe its the Little Kid Achewood.
hmmm, im a bit perplexed over this whole downward-pointing-arrow thing. does Onstad really think we cant figure it out? or, maybe its the Little Kid Achewood.
filossoapeyed
+0 -0
I actually google imaged Rachael Ray to inspect her boobies, and found that Alison, 7, of Baton Rouge, is absolutely right to question Ms. Ray's descent into puberty. Alison, sweetheart, Ms. Ray may not have much T, but she has a lot of A...
I actually google imaged Rachael Ray to inspect her boobies, and found that Alison, 7, of Baton Rouge, is absolutely right to question Ms. Ray's descent into puberty. Alison, sweetheart, Ms. Ray may not have much T, but she has a lot of A...
cassandrakazenzakis
+0 -0
this is golden.
the one problem, though, is how the hell are kids supposed to have that good of grammar and spelling?
this is golden.
the one problem, though, is how the hell are kids supposed to have that good of grammar and spelling?
dreamydeary
+0 -0
the comic sans is perfect. a little kid message board couldn't be in any other font, really.
the comic sans is perfect. a little kid message board couldn't be in any other font, really.
gussiejives
+0 -0
The internet solves 1 and 2 problems pretty well actually.
The internet solves 1 and 2 problems pretty well actually.
deusoma
+0 -0
I have always been of the opinion that lateral movement would make cars so much better.
I have always been of the opinion that lateral movement would make cars so much better.
thaes
+1 -0
Ah, caves. The mystery that has troubled humankinds most magnificent thinkers from Socrates to Hawking.
Ah, caves. The mystery that has troubled humankinds most magnificent thinkers from Socrates to Hawking.
tdoom
+0 -0
comic sans, i see.
comic sans, i see.
shishkabob
+0 -0
I wonder what he clicked on.
I wonder what he clicked on.
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just because this text window opened up at my command I must say... giving a 5 year old otter his own computer does NOT guarantee his safety on the internet of today.
It's one of those lame "computers" that only goes to certain kid friendly sites. Like, aboslutely no possibiity of accidently going to lemoparty or even ESPN.com for that matter.
I think it's just a crummy see&say thing, with a clicker instead of a string. Probably just cycles through 8 or 10 'sites'. Nolan won't reach him here.
Internet parental control can produce some pretty strict results. I've seen sites blocked on the basis of containing "Jokes and Games", "Religion", and (yes) "Fun".
I went to a college with a campus-wide content filter, which blocked CollegeHumor.com. At night I tell myself that's the only reason I'm reading a scintillating webcomic and not writing one.
When girls get drunk and peer-pressured they make out. Sometimes people draw on other passed-out people with sharpies.
There. I just saved you about 43 minutes out of every single day of your life for maybe two or three years.
If you haven't seen a man light himself on fire trying to do burning shots, you haven't lived.
I was once a victim of "Cybersitter," which would block websites if they contained such words as "boy", "girl", "accident" or "wicca." For whatever reason.
At my old high school, there was a filter which blocked out everything not pre-approved. This was in the days prior to Wikipedia, so the only things they had were Britannica.com and other big things like that. Everything else = no.
I called conspiracy that Mobil.com was allowed, but Shell.com was not. Particularly because of the school's known good relationship (and sponsoring by) the local Mobil refinery. I was really begging for controversy.
Shell contains "hell." See, this is how I think now.
Apparently the offical website for the English town Scunthorpe has had it's fair share of problems with parental control filters and whatnot...
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In the words of a long-ago poster:
Oh Manflesh, you rapscallion.
I clearly have too much time on my hands today... but internet sleuthing is fun! https://appelsini.tripod.com/B6.html
Touché!
turns out motherfucking assetbar won't let you type an 'e' with an accent. Fuck assetbar.
But now you know exactly what to do if you ever want a question mark to appear inside of a sideways square.
diamond?
Unicode zirconium?
Is it worth pointing out that a square can never be sideways?
It would if this were the xkcd boards.
comedy! Repartee!
I was a little dissapointed by the lack of over the top explicit content.
I think we all were. Perhaps this is the Manflesh of the deep and introspective solo album that the lead singer of a pub rock band comes out with, full of ballads and soul covers and the like, but still with his distinctive gravelly voice.
From my scanning of it, there was nearly some incest though. Does that quell you?
Edit: "perhaps this is the Manflesh equivalent ..."
It's just not the same sentence without that word.
there wasn't any incest :( he just says he never thought of it.
It as pretty tame, for manflesh, but oddly compelling. I feel cheated knowing he stole it.
maybe he didn't. maybe he posted there.
Dammit. I was so scanning for that.
I get it. You're being post-modern. Well done being interesting.
Excellent!
you notice how the people laming you have furry names? "Tabby" "fox"
what is up with that stuff
when I was a kid when you wanted to be an animal, you went and played in the woods, not on the internets :(
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Their activities are so poorly conveyed.
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Wrong.
They're actually stuffed animals and animals, not people fucking each other in the ass while wearing a fox suit.
Are you sure? I distinctly recall something about a strawberry suit and a tub of cream, not to mention squashed birthday cakes. Perversion is Achewood's middle name.
- "Dildo it! $1"
If a human wearing an animal suit for sexual purposes is Furry, then wouldn't an animal wearing a fruit suit for sexual purposes be the opposite, or Anti-Furry? Or possibly Recipro-Furry?
I think they're just called Juicies%u2026
I do believe that the common definition of furries is any anthromorphic animal. And he's right, Achewood is built largely on pervertness, even if none of it can be defined as "fan service".
That's the "super lame furry definition of furry," which, like the Rockefellers at the turn of the century, seeks to engulf and consume every good and beautiful thing and crush its neck. That's no good.
Yea, I certainly wouldn't call it fan "service". Let me tell you, Nolan buying that coffee, that was not something I asked for. That was not a service for me. That was not something I would pay for or be glad to see.
Uh oh...I've been doing it wrong...
Son I am going to pretend you did not say that. You can still live here, but you sleep in the barn outside the house, and you do NOT touch the animals.
You say that again, I mean one word, and your ass will be dancing at the end of a short rope before sunset. The folks in the town yonder don't cotton on much to furries, and it might be a kindness if'n I shot you dead on the spot rather than let you run your damn mouth about yer fur-sonas and butt-fuckin'.
I have a fierce yen to chubby you, but alas...too far down the page.
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Why do people exist who have something other than praise for this.
I exist because Mom gave Dad a good time that one night.
Can't speak for anyone else.
You don't know that it was good.
Or that is was really your Dad.
Whether is was a good time or not is irrelevant to the euphemism.
As for the question of whether or not it was actually my dad, well, I am pretty sure it was, since I have inherited all his genetic defects.
How could it not be his biological father, it's physically impossible. Did he cum someone else's semen?
Well, sometimes... When I concentrate really hard ...
There was a discussion on the radio with a scientist*, wherein they asked what would happen if you got a testicle transplant???? Given that it was from the other dude's ball sac, would it therefore produce the other dude's sperm? And thus, create his progeny instead of your own?
I forget the answer, but I believe it was: yes. That is exactly what would happen.
*A scientist I tell you! You never hear of those guys anymore. They're all specialists nowadays - but no, not Dr. Karl , jack of every motherfuckin' trade, old-school Victorian-era-type scientist, all makin' his own instruments and testin' on himself**, pushing the damn boundaries.***
**I can't prove this one.
***Or this, really.
And that, Biff, is precisely the sort of thing I was referring to.
Also, testing a testicle transplant on himself? Man...you've got to have a wicked sack to try something like that. Either that, or have to want a wicked sack pretty damn badly.
One has to develop a wicked sack somehow, I would think (as a lady, I would have no way to ascertain first-hand).
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That is actually Rachel Ray with a tail. Not a furry.
Explain the qualitative difference?
Someone somewhere wants to have sex with a furry.
I think it's more. lamed for crapping on other peoples fun.
It is different.
Also, this pattern of indulgent defenses of people being negative and getting lamed for it now needs it's own rule, a.k.a. Godwin's Law. Seriously. Is it alright for me to enjoy Achewood comments, but to not enjoy reading opinions like "Wow that thing you just read and liked is real crap. I have nothing more to add."? Does every single person with nothing-to-say need to have their lack of contribution defended from lames with gross assumptions about the motives of the lamers?
Lames do not come with explanations. To assume it is because everyone is just dumber than you is wrongful.
That is all. Carry on, 2 years ago.