mira
+32 -0
the guy is having a heart attack, alone, in the middle of a field of corn
this is a subconscious fear in all of us.
the guy is having a heart attack, alone, in the middle of a field of corn
this is a subconscious fear in all of us.
bigtom
+1 -0
that is the reason this is my favorite strip. and the alt text too
that is the reason this is my favorite strip. and the alt text too
epicurus
+46 -0
This is one of my favourite Fuck you Fridays. I especially love how he keeps talking about how much volume he does, especially when he gets mad at the young lady on OnStar. This is actually very typical of some business owners in my experience, and it never fails to be hilarious.
This is one of my favourite Fuck you Fridays. I especially love how he keeps talking about how much volume he does, especially when he gets mad at the young lady on OnStar. This is actually very typical of some business owners in my experience, and it never fails to be hilarious.
spinynorman
+52 -0
"That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.
These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers."
"That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.
These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers."
terebikun
+2 -0
I watched Glengarry for the first time fairly recently, and then immediately afterwards watched Tom Goes To The Mayor, and realized the entire episode was a subtle reference to Glengarry. I'm still convinced those guys are warlocks.
I watched Glengarry for the first time fairly recently, and then immediately afterwards watched Tom Goes To The Mayor, and realized the entire episode was a subtle reference to Glengarry. I'm still convinced those guys are warlocks.
unright
+0 -0
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A comment left by unright was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mee123104, pwb, Mangtastic, Bovine, StagnantDisplay, brzbee, techiebabe, ASaltySalute4, scraggg, Archon_Divinus)
numberkillinger
+1 -0
Tim and Eric?
Tim and Eric?
terebikun
+0 -0
Excellent. If you've just had a Lynch/Cronenberg marathon and are in that state of mind.
Excellent. If you've just had a Lynch/Cronenberg marathon and are in that state of mind.
zem
+0 -0
I don't know what you guys are talking about but the way you say this makes me agree with you
I don't know what you guys are talking about but the way you say this makes me agree with you
terebikun
+0 -0
Thinking badly of Tom Goes to the Mayor sucks balls.
Thinking badly of Tom Goes to the Mayor sucks balls.
zem
+1 -0
that'll only work once, sorry
that'll only work once, sorry
aelindil
+15 -0
Death of a motherfuckin' salesman.
Death of a motherfuckin' salesman.
spinynorman
+17 -0
Another option would have been A Bit of Fry and Laurie's "Jack and John's Health Club" sketch, in which the pair of them stomp around in suspenders drinking pints of scotch and shouting things like, "Triple damned damn and a slice of damn for tomorrow!"
Another option would have been A Bit of Fry and Laurie's "Jack and John's Health Club" sketch, in which the pair of them stomp around in suspenders drinking pints of scotch and shouting things like, "Triple damned damn and a slice of damn for tomorrow!"
andyfaewatford
+6 -0
"Damn it four times round the car park and back in for another Damnit!"
"Damn it four times round the car park and back in for another Damnit!"
atticusonline
+1 -0
Alright you've convinced me to go back and download every season of Blackadder, every episode of Jeeves & Wooster, and every episode of A Bit of Fry and Laurie.
Alright you've convinced me to go back and download every season of Blackadder, every episode of Jeeves & Wooster, and every episode of A Bit of Fry and Laurie.
spinynorman
+2 -0
This will serve as a great and wonderful boon for many days to come.
This will serve as a great and wonderful boon for many days to come.
atticusonline
+3 -0
I still watch a season a day of Blackadder.
Melchett : "If you come back with the information, Captain Darling will pump you thoroughly in the debriefing room. "
I still watch a season a day of Blackadder.
Melchett : "If you come back with the information, Captain Darling will pump you thoroughly in the debriefing room. "
waldo913
+0 -0
Sort of reminds me of the somewhat obscure Kevin Spacey feature 'Swimming With Sharks'. Am I wrong to be reminded of that?
Sort of reminds me of the somewhat obscure Kevin Spacey feature 'Swimming With Sharks'. Am I wrong to be reminded of that?
quartamilk
+0 -0
fuck you; that's my name.
fuck you; that's my name.
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
You know what it takes to sell real estate?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TROhlThs9qY
You know what it takes to sell real estate?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TROhlThs9qY
xud
+7 -0
That last frame gives me a heart attack from trying not to completely bust out laughing at work. We have people here who act worse then this, and its nothing near complete hilarity watching them. Onstad was spot on with this.
That last frame gives me a heart attack from trying not to completely bust out laughing at work. We have people here who act worse then this, and its nothing near complete hilarity watching them. Onstad was spot on with this.
leon_sumbitches
+0 -0
I have days like this, luckily there are plenty of cornfields where I live.
I don't believe I a stuck up asshole like this guy though.
I have days like this, luckily there are plenty of cornfields where I live.
I don't believe I a stuck up asshole like this guy though.
agika
+7 -2
"I'm gonna drive all over that corn!" Who the hell takes their anger out on corn? I don't even think that psychopaths are crazy enough to do such a thing.
"I'm gonna drive all over that corn!" Who the hell takes their anger out on corn? I don't even think that psychopaths are crazy enough to do such a thing.
biznart
+0 -0
That line wrecked me. So much so, that even reading you quoting it has inspired fits of uncontrollable laughter. This is unfortunate as I'm at work, and I share an office.
That line wrecked me. So much so, that even reading you quoting it has inspired fits of uncontrollable laughter. This is unfortunate as I'm at work, and I share an office.
soticoto
+0 -0
Seems as such.
I haven't ever raged on corn.
Seems as such.
I haven't ever raged on corn.
nurdbot
+0 -0
Heh, I remember reading how Ray also helped the guy into an early grave and smiling.
Heh, I remember reading how Ray also helped the guy into an early grave and smiling.
rad_chillies
+3 -0
Wow and I remember the first strip in which there is a cuss. I believe it's Todd and he says 'shit'. There's some rockin' cusses in this one.
Wow and I remember the first strip in which there is a cuss. I believe it's Todd and he says 'shit'. There's some rockin' cusses in this one.
connellingus
+1 -0
It was Blister .
It was Blister .
connellingus
+7 -0
Actually, I was wrong. The alt-text for that strip declares it to be the first swear word, but the first one was actually here .
Actually, I was wrong. The alt-text for that strip declares it to be the first swear word, but the first one was actually here .
riazm
+13 -0
Would you be interested in joining the Achewood Continuity Police? You seem like you've got the right stuff.
Would you be interested in joining the Achewood Continuity Police? You seem like you've got the right stuff.
sexualhomeboy
+12 -1
NOTICE THAT YOUR POST IS FRIKKING AWESOME
OFFICERS REMARKS:
where'd you get it
NOTICE THAT YOUR POST IS FRIKKING AWESOME
OFFICERS REMARKS:
where'd you get it
riazm
+0 -0
He has never gotten back to me on it
He has never gotten back to me on it
nigelchaos
+1 -1
Connelingus - He gets things DONE!
Connelingus - He gets things DONE!
gethen
+0 -0
i did not mean to Lame you, but it won't let me take it back!
i did not mean to Lame you, but it won't let me take it back!
jandruff
+0 -0
Oh, it definitely had to be Cornelius. He's the winner of the Badass Games.
Oh, it definitely had to be Cornelius. He's the winner of the Badass Games.
william
+13 -0
On Friday, Leo Fontanette died in a corn field.
On Friday, Leo Fontanette died in a corn field.
william
+1 -0
this is the alt text, suppose i forgot to mention that
this is the alt text, suppose i forgot to mention that
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Saturday, I go out to play.
Sunday I get down on my knees
and I still got to chuckle about Friday.
Saturday, I go out to play.
Sunday I get down on my knees
and I still got to chuckle about Friday.
centipede_damascus
+3 -0
He imagines the corn is a million Ray Smuckleses, all flipping him off and making comments about his thighs.
He imagines the corn is a million Ray Smuckleses, all flipping him off and making comments about his thighs.
tombsgrave
+3 -1
The dark side of Fuck You Fridays.
Remember, the corn is corn. Do not imagine the corn as other people. Tht is ungood to the farmers.
The dark side of Fuck You Fridays.
Remember, the corn is corn. Do not imagine the corn as other people. Tht is ungood to the farmers.
closefriend
+8 -0
Onstad, himself a sworn member of the middle class, is making an indirect aspersion on salespeople and others who live their lives based on income and vocational productivity.
That, and he's showing what happens when you try to talk calves, especially when you just got off your best friend's big faggot boat.
Onstad, himself a sworn member of the middle class, is making an indirect aspersion on salespeople and others who live their lives based on income and vocational productivity.
That, and he's showing what happens when you try to talk calves, especially when you just got off your best friend's big faggot boat.
dougthehead
+1 -0
"This Corn is You, Ray Smuckles!" is one of those phrases you can never work into conversation often enough.
"This Corn is You, Ray Smuckles!" is one of those phrases you can never work into conversation often enough.
isunklower
+10 -0
I've only used it once.
I had to take a dump, and the person driving refused to go back to the last gas station we'd passed. As I angrily kicked my way through the corn to do my business, I yelled it to the heavens.
I've only used it once.
I had to take a dump, and the person driving refused to go back to the last gas station we'd passed. As I angrily kicked my way through the corn to do my business, I yelled it to the heavens.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
OH hell! Here I was imagining you talking about kernels of corn as you crapped them out.
"This Corn is YOU, Ray Smuckles!" -unnh!
OH hell! Here I was imagining you talking about kernels of corn as you crapped them out.
"This Corn is YOU, Ray Smuckles!" -unnh!
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i scream it all the time fragging n00bs in Call of Duty.
nobody gets it.
i scream it all the time fragging n00bs in Call of Duty.
nobody gets it.
ssddr
+0 -0
Is this possibly the first strip to feature none of the regular characters?
Is this possibly the first strip to feature none of the regular characters?
aarongstock
+3 -2
It is like how Lost was for a while in 1st and 2nd seasons, where all of a sudden a minor character gets a flashback episode and that means that the character is going to die.
It is like how Lost was for a while in 1st and 2nd seasons, where all of a sudden a minor character gets a flashback episode and that means that the character is going to die.
bixschmix
+6 -0
Two people are so pissed you ruined that episode of Lost for them.
Two people are so pissed you ruined that episode of Lost for them.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'm one of those people, and god damn you aarongstock. To hell. This corn is you aaronstock
I'm one of those people, and god damn you aarongstock. To hell. This corn is you aaronstock
aperson
+4 -0
You do not want to know what hedonismbot is doing to that corn.
You do not want to know what hedonismbot is doing to that corn.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
I also love how he angry he gets about his ruined Beach Boys cd. I imagine him all cramped up in rage, the soothing sounds of Brian Wilson the only thing that can calm him down...
I also love how he angry he gets about his ruined Beach Boys cd. I imagine him all cramped up in rage, the soothing sounds of Brian Wilson the only thing that can calm him down...
ttagxamm
+4 -0
I'm a leaf on a windy day
Pretty soon I'll be blown away
How long will the wind blow?
How long will the wind blow?
Ohhhh
Until I die
Until I die
These things I'll be until I die [repeat]
I'm a leaf on a windy day
Pretty soon I'll be blown away
How long will the wind blow?
How long will the wind blow?
Ohhhh
Until I die
Until I die
These things I'll be until I die [repeat]
dasilodavi
+7 -1
This was not done on Everybody Loves Raymond.
This was not done on Everybody Loves Raymond.
mattylite
+4 -0
Achewood: It is not Everybody Loves Raymond.
Achewood: It is not Everybody Loves Raymond.
cpnglxynchos
+3 -0
Fare...thee...NOT...well...Raymond...Fare...thee...NOT...well.
Fare...thee...NOT...well...Raymond...Fare...thee...NOT...well.
jackfruit
+4 -0
damn dude, that's the last ride that guy gets in my faggot boat
damn dude, that's the last ride that guy gets in my faggot boat
godfatherofsouls
+12 -0
I think Beef has just killed a man with kindness.
I think Beef has just killed a man with kindness.
pyro_ike
+0 -0
That's exactly why I 5'd this strip.
That's exactly why I 5'd this strip.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Wow. I've never actually seen that done before.
Wow. I've never actually seen that done before.
soticoto
+0 -0
Leo... What a twat.
Leo... What a twat.
hardelicious
+0 -0
I guess this means Beef gets another shot at the gym.
I guess this means Beef gets another shot at the gym.
hendetta
+0 -0
I kind of wish it said "valium".
I kind of wish it said "valium".
drago25
+5 -0
After this strip I thought of Joe Pesci playing this character, which was perfect until I had to picture Joe Pesci showing his perfect things.
Then it all went wrong.
After this strip I thought of Joe Pesci playing this character, which was perfect until I had to picture Joe Pesci showing his perfect things.
Then it all went wrong.
pogo
+0 -0
OnStar, that's what I like to call Onstead.
OnStar, that's what I like to call Onstead.
mattylite
+12 -0
Or, as asherdan would call it, 'Star.
Or, as asherdan would call it, 'Star.
andrewthepig
+0 -0
He looks just like my old boss, minus the thighs. He also acted exactly like this whenever he got upset. This strip just makes me smile every time I read it.
Fuck Leo Fontanette
He looks just like my old boss, minus the thighs. He also acted exactly like this whenever he got upset. This strip just makes me smile every time I read it.
Fuck Leo Fontanette
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Fuck you; this is one of the best.
Props for Roast Beef Kazantzakis. With 3 words, he ridded the planet of a smarmy potato-parasite.