aperson
+20 -0
Chris Onstad himself is on the other side of that door.
Chris Onstad himself is on the other side of that door.
aperson
+0 -0
Either that or the Ruling Body. Or a little old guy behind a curtain.
Either that or the Ruling Body. Or a little old guy behind a curtain.
octafish
+5 -0
It is a chimpanzee, which Roast Beef unmasks to reveal... Roast Beef himself!
It is a chimpanzee, which Roast Beef unmasks to reveal... Roast Beef himself!
yorkshiretea
+1 -0
Roast Beef IS Number One!
Roast Beef IS Number One!
aperson
+67 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
aperson
+105 -1
[IMGS OFF]
get ready to fluff my hogg because I am hell of irritated
[IMGS OFF]
get ready to fluff my hogg because I am hell of irritated
wazza
+0 -0
whoa.
I can see the clockwork!
whoa.
I can see the clockwork!
saulbellow
+30 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
wazza
+0 -0
A comment left by wazza was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by UncleRifle, wharfrat, straw, 21echoes, MelloClello, riotdejaneiro, miaou)
A comment left by wazza was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by UncleRifle, wharfrat, straw, 21echoes, MelloClello, riotdejaneiro, miaou)
i_love_kate
+46 -1
Someone didn't get what was going on here!
Someone didn't get what was going on here!
comrade_tom
+0 -0
That comment is perfect i_love_kate, if i had a chubby left to give....
That comment is perfect i_love_kate, if i had a chubby left to give....
lexsenthur
+1 -0
Vibbeo gabes!
Vibbeo gabes!
wazza
+0 -0
look down a little... we didn't even get into the Architect imagery until after we passed through Half-Life...
plus, he has a crowbar! Do you see any trenchcoats in the strip? Perhaps some cool sunglasses worn inside? I thought not.
look down a little... we didn't even get into the Architect imagery until after we passed through Half-Life...
plus, he has a crowbar! Do you see any trenchcoats in the strip? Perhaps some cool sunglasses worn inside? I thought not.
wazza
+0 -0
and plus there is the whole crawling-in-ducts thing besides...
and plus there is the whole crawling-in-ducts thing besides...
maximus
+4 -0
is there sumfin wrong wif your ducts, mate?
[IMGS OFF]
is there sumfin wrong wif your ducts, mate?
[IMGS OFF]
octafish
+0 -0
M... Mario?
M... Mario?
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Have you got a 27B/6?
Have you got a 27B/6?
harpo
+0 -0
chico
+1 -0
Now look what you've done to him.
Now look what you've done to him.
mensch
+0 -0
Sam Lowry and Harry Tuttle meet again in Ronin.
Sam Lowry and Harry Tuttle meet again in Ronin.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Is there a reason why Ed Harris looks like Gary Burghoff in this picture?
Is there a reason why Ed Harris looks like Gary Burghoff in this picture?
troy_convers
+0 -0
Damn, you did the joke already! Lame my last comment to hell everyone!!!
Damn, you did the joke already! Lame my last comment to hell everyone!!!
faits
+0 -0
and that is the exact reason onstad went for so many years without allowing his picture to be on the internet.
and that is the exact reason onstad went for so many years without allowing his picture to be on the internet.
aperson
+8 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
wazza
+0 -0
now we just feel horrible for what mankind has done to the planet in the name of ukeleles
now we just feel horrible for what mankind has done to the planet in the name of ukeleles
comrade_tom
+0 -0
The Ukulele orchestra of Great britain being a notable example.
Those people are insufferable.
The Ukulele orchestra of Great britain being a notable example.
Those people are insufferable.
honesttom
+0 -0
Christ yeah. I mean, I've got nothing against the theme from Arrested Development, but you'd think they'd get tired of it after the first hour.
Christ yeah. I mean, I've got nothing against the theme from Arrested Development, but you'd think they'd get tired of it after the first hour.
faits
+0 -0
I guess that's what I get for participating in the 'make your icon a picture of your face with your hand near your face' mess and never changing it back
I guess that's what I get for participating in the 'make your icon a picture of your face with your hand near your face' mess and never changing it back
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Or the cast of Cheers.
Or the cast of Cheers.
zombiezero
+2 -0
Beef: "uh who are you"
(Voice of Onstad): "I am the Creator... of a webcomic that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions."
Beef: "uh who are you"
(Voice of Onstad): "I am the Creator... of a webcomic that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions."
wazza
+8 -1
"Tell me, Mr Kazenzakis, if you can: you have destroyed so much. What exactly is it that you have created? Can you name even one thing? I thought not."
"Oh well."
"Tell me, Mr Kazenzakis, if you can: you have destroyed so much. What exactly is it that you have created? Can you name even one thing? I thought not."
"Oh well."
anticitizen
+3 -2
Would you kindly?
Would you kindly?
Would you kindly?
The cake is a lie.
Wait, shit, I fucked that up.
Would you kindly?
Would you kindly?
Would you kindly?
The cake is a lie.
Wait, shit, I fucked that up.
wazza
+2 -0
so did I... I completely confused the director from The Truman Show with the Architect from the films we all agreed never actually happened, which caused me to think the most natural reply was from another dystopian future...
so did I... I completely confused the director from The Truman Show with the Architect from the films we all agreed never actually happened, which caused me to think the most natural reply was from another dystopian future...
wazza
+0 -0
but you know what? I ain't apologising for that. I ain't apologising at all.
but you know what? I ain't apologising for that. I ain't apologising at all.
anticitizen
+0 -0
I am now off to replay the HL series by your divine suggestion, sir.
I am now off to replay the HL series by your divine suggestion, sir.
wazza
+0 -0
well, at least something good came out of it...
well, at least something good came out of it...
ellwooda
+1 -1
Cant you see that Roast Beef is the ONE FREE MAN?
Cant you see that Roast Beef is the ONE FREE MAN?
jean-paul
+2 -0
Why aren't you helping the tortoise, Beef?
Why aren't you helping the tortoise, Beef?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
what do you mean i'm not helping?
what do you mean i'm not helping?
holden
+0 -0
I mean you're not helping.
I mean you're not helping.
octafish
+0 -0
What's a tortoise?
What's a tortoise?
streever
+3 -0
nah man it's just the exit. he walks out that door he's behind the theater.
nah man it's just the exit. he walks out that door he's behind the theater.
usversusthem
+2 -0
Yeah but that's when the karma police start chasing him. He knows this, he is froma Radiohead song Circumstances.
Yeah but that's when the karma police start chasing him. He knows this, he is from
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
a chubby for referencing my favorite Radiohead song ever. a music video for THAT when i'm done with the other one.
a chubby for referencing my favorite Radiohead song ever. a music video for THAT when i'm done with the other one.
boscostacy
+3 -0
If Onstad is on the other side of that door, doesn't that mean that Lyle and Cornelius live in the same house as the Wheel of Karma?
If that's true, we're all lucky that Lyle hasn't filled it with plaster of Paris yet. And that Philippe hasn't gotten stuck in the gears.
If Onstad is on the other side of that door, doesn't that mean that Lyle and Cornelius live in the same house as the Wheel of Karma?
If that's true, we're all lucky that Lyle hasn't filled it with plaster of Paris yet. And that Philippe hasn't gotten stuck in the gears.
wazza
+2 -0
who says they haven't? It's not working, is it?
who says they haven't? It's not working, is it?
greyfield
+0 -0
No, no, that's the character Onstad, not the "pulling-the-strings" Onstad. And it makes sense... wants to throw them off his tracks.
No, no, that's the character Onstad, not the "pulling-the-strings" Onstad. And it makes sense... wants to throw them off his tracks.
narenial
+0 -0
And that Todd hasn't tried to sell parts for smack.
And that Todd hasn't tried to sell parts for smack.
wazza
+2 -0
C-course I sell p-parts of t-the K-karmic machinery to get high!
C-course I sell p-parts of t-the K-karmic machinery to get high!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Don't you do Karma at me goddamit!
Don't you do Karma at me goddamit!
hamscout
+18 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mensch
+0 -0
I've heard of karma chameleons, but karma snortin' squirrels?
chubby for hamscout
I've heard of karma chameleons, but karma snortin' squirrels?
chubby for hamscout
earendil
+0 -0
Very yes.
Very yes.
plummet
+0 -0
man, karma gives you the worst hangover
man, karma gives you the worst hangover
troy_convers
+0 -2
Beef will meet # gasp The Architect...
Beef will meet # gasp The Architect...
belgand
+0 -0
/part #gasp
/part #gasp
farqussus
+0 -0
#gasp admin is a right cunt
#gasp admin is a right cunt
nice-on-water
+2 -0
"Beef? Roast Beef? I am a prostitute."
"Beef? Roast Beef? I am a prostitute."
gladi8orrex
+7 -0
karma is such bullshit
karma is such bullshit
theirateturk
+0 -0
it's bad karma to say that :nyd:
it's bad karma to say that :nyd:
radi8orsex
+3 -1
chameleons are gay
chameleons are gay
daidai
+6 -2
FUCK.
I chubbied you because I thought you said "Charmelions"
As an avid Squirtle-Wartortle-Blastoise user I thought it was my duty to chubby you.
My bad
FUCK.
I chubbied you because I thought you said "Charmelions"
As an avid Squirtle-Wartortle-Blastoise user I thought it was my duty to chubby you.
My bad
wazza
+0 -0
Fire-type forever! Water NEVAR!
Fire-type forever! Water NEVAR!
anticitizen
+1 -2
who the fuck feels so passionately about pokemon to lame daidai?
(i know i could set my lame limit lower if i was so curious but that means scrolling all the way up again. and i'm tired. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH )
who the fuck feels so passionately about pokemon to lame daidai?
(i know i could set my lame limit lower if i was so curious but that means scrolling all the way up again. and i'm tired. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH )
daidai
+7 -0
My god. I never imagined I would erupt so much controversy.
Never the less, I stand by my point. You may argue with me all day that Blastoise had inferior speed when compared with the other two starter pokemon. But I respond with the same speech I've given since the beginning of my days. DEFENSE TRUMPS ALL my pokemon friends! Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow found that some of the strongest pokemon were ones with great ATTACK, not SPECIAL ATTACK! DEF is the most important stat in the game, and it isn't even arguable. Venusaur can talk att the shit he wants, but one ice beam and that bitch is back to the hell from whence it came. And Charizard? Don't make me laugh. What is your vaunted special attack going to do for you against a psychic pokemon? A ghost? Your strength cannot even overcome pokemon WHO AREN'T WEAK TO YOU!
Please, gladi8orrex and wazza. Don't attempt to make your points with me. Yes, in Yellow, in Gold, in Silver SPECIAL ATTACK is the grandest attribute, but to argue that for RED AND BLUE? GARY WILL EAT YOUR CHARIZARD WHOLE, and if it weren't for the final 4 level cap you would NEVER finish the game unless you had a slew of legendaries and (of course) an Alakazam.
I don't know who the two of you think you is, but you ain't.
WATER TYPES FOR EVER. DEFENSE FOR ETERNITY. CHARIZARD, THOU ART MY BITCH!
(I will never. Ever. Get laid.)
My god. I never imagined I would erupt so much controversy.
Never the less, I stand by my point. You may argue with me all day that Blastoise had inferior speed when compared with the other two starter pokemon. But I respond with the same speech I've given since the beginning of my days. DEFENSE TRUMPS ALL my pokemon friends! Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow found that some of the strongest pokemon were ones with great ATTACK, not SPECIAL ATTACK! DEF is the most important stat in the game, and it isn't even arguable. Venusaur can talk att the shit he wants, but one ice beam and that bitch is back to the hell from whence it came. And Charizard? Don't make me laugh. What is your vaunted special attack going to do for you against a psychic pokemon? A ghost? Your strength cannot even overcome pokemon WHO AREN'T WEAK TO YOU!
Please, gladi8orrex and wazza. Don't attempt to make your points with me. Yes, in Yellow, in Gold, in Silver SPECIAL ATTACK is the grandest attribute, but to argue that for RED AND BLUE? GARY WILL EAT YOUR CHARIZARD WHOLE, and if it weren't for the final 4 level cap you would NEVER finish the game unless you had a slew of legendaries and (of course) an Alakazam.
I don't know who the two of you think you is, but you ain't.
WATER TYPES FOR EVER. DEFENSE FOR ETERNITY. CHARIZARD, THOU ART MY BITCH!
(I will never. Ever. Get laid.)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Aggreed.
Aggreed.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Disagreed.
Disagreed.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Agreed?
Agreed?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Thankyou.
Thankyou.
narenial
+1 -0
Seconded.
Seconded.
miaou
+1 -0
These are greed.
These are greed.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, Troy_Convers, Towel)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, Troy_Convers, Towel)
daidai
+6 -0
Don't you goddamn lie to me. Don't you fucking do that.
Everybody played pokemon, god dammit. Everyone.
Don't you goddamn lie to me. Don't you fucking do that.
Everybody played pokemon, god dammit. Everyone.
narenial
+0 -1
I didn't.
I didn't.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Either did I. But then that would be weird considering my age.
Either did I. But then that would be weird considering my age.
octafish
+3 -0
More like:
Everybody played Galaga, god dammit. Everyone.
For people of my vintage.
More like:
Everybody played Galaga, god dammit. Everyone.
For people of my vintage.
mensch
+1 -0
more like: RISK, motherfuckers.
more like: RISK, motherfuckers.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
for every one that's played Pokemon, there's five or more that played Galaga.
for every one that's played Pokemon, there's five or more that played Galaga.
invidious
+0 -0
I have Galaga on my cell phone. I'm as serious as a heart attack.
I have Galaga on my cell phone. I'm as serious as a heart attack.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i just have Tetris. deep, deep love for that game.
i just have Tetris. deep, deep love for that game.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I've never heard of Galaga. I'm a Scrabble kind of gal.
I've never heard of Galaga. I'm a Scrabble kind of gal.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, I was college when it came out.
Yeah, I was college when it came out.
wingspan
+1 -0
I did and I won with the power of Blastoise, though I kept him in Wartortle form much longer than necessary because I thought he looked cooler that way.
Also I had a pretty badass parasect just because my little brother thought it was impossible to train a good one.
(Also--what is "get laid"?)
I did and I won with the power of Blastoise, though I kept him in Wartortle form much longer than necessary because I thought he looked cooler that way.
Also I had a pretty badass parasect just because my little brother thought it was impossible to train a good one.
(Also--what is "get laid"?)
agentcimorene
+0 -0
Getting laid is nothing when you can be so good at poke'mon as an adult and work in a day care. Because then you can control children with you knowledge and skill and knock down the bastard kids who use cheats. Then mothers are shocked and awed that their children haven't been brain-washed hypnotized by strange Japanese cartoon-game sensations because by god, an adult is holding a conversation with their child. Gaming: if you're going into the education field it has its benefits. I've gotten so many babysitting jobs on the side.
Getting laid is nothing when you can be so good at poke'mon as an adult and work in a day care. Because then you can control children with you knowledge and skill and knock down the bastard kids who use cheats. Then mothers are shocked and awed that their children haven't been brain-washed hypnotized by strange Japanese cartoon-game sensations because by god, an adult is holding a conversation with their child. Gaming: if you're going into the education field it has its benefits. I've gotten so many babysitting jobs on the side.
8
+0 -0
could you repeat that in English?
could you repeat that in English?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
speaking of English, your status is all CHING CHONG WING WONG
speaking of English, your status is all CHING CHONG WING WONG
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well then baby sit here
well then baby sit here
agentcimorene
+0 -0
It's about the same level of entertainment but lacking payment or fridge raids. Or Lego Star Wars.
It's about the same level of entertainment but lacking payment or fridge raids. Or Lego Star Wars.
gladi8orrex
+3 -1
i emulated it years adder fanfare subside an played til i got 2 a point where the plant mob(??) kept strangulatin' my dude an it wasn't dat dat was annoying it was dat the stranglemove TOOK A MILLION GODDAMN YEARS TO ANIMATE it was like **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg **Fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg for 20 goddamn seconds den, before i could get ma ratticate to do his attack(??) move TEH FUCKIN' THING GRABBED ME AGAIN **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg
game is stupid imo i stopped playin' it right away
i emulated it years adder fanfare subside an played til i got 2 a point where the plant mob(??) kept strangulatin' my dude an it wasn't dat dat was annoying it was dat the stranglemove TOOK A MILLION GODDAMN YEARS TO ANIMATE it was like **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg **Fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg for 20 goddamn seconds den, before i could get ma ratticate to do his attack(??) move TEH FUCKIN' THING GRABBED ME AGAIN **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg **fzzt, poke-shake** 4 dmg
game is stupid imo i stopped playin' it right away
wazza
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure there's an option to turn off attack animations...
I'm pretty sure there's an option to turn off attack animations...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
thank God.
thank God.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
eh, glad?
eh, glad?
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
He's got a point. That whole Wrap/Bind/Fire Spin/Clamp business was seriously overpowered. Just Agility up and squeeze them to death til you can finish them off with like Hyper Beam. Takes forever, but once it starts, there ain't nothing you can do about it, except switch or wait for them to miss.
wait what no I mean pokemon is ghey
He's got a point. That whole Wrap/Bind/Fire Spin/Clamp business was seriously overpowered. Just Agility up and squeeze them to death til you can finish them off with like Hyper Beam. Takes forever, but once it starts, there ain't nothing you can do about it, except switch or wait for them to miss.
wait what no I mean pokemon is ghey
howl
+0 -0
I didn't.
I didn't.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That's not cool, man.
That's not cool, man.
howl
+0 -0
Blame my parents, man.
Blame my parents, man.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I shall! When we finally get around to meeting, of course.
I shall! When we finally get around to meeting, of course.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
in all seriousness, the only pkmn game i ever owned was Pokemon Snap.
i recently found it again over at a friend's house. much gleeful shrieking and shutter closing occurred immediately thereafter.
(up yours, Mew, you glowy sonofabitch)
in all seriousness, the only pkmn game i ever owned was Pokemon Snap.
i recently found it again over at a friend's house. much gleeful shrieking and shutter closing occurred immediately thereafter.
(up yours, Mew, you glowy sonofabitch)
agentcimorene
+0 -0
It was a happy eve of chilling with my 6 yr old niece teaching her how to play on my Wii. Then we did her Gram's game of Tetris, and her father's game of Super Mario 3.
It was a happy eve of chilling with my 6 yr old niece teaching her how to play on my Wii. Then we did her Gram's game of Tetris, and her father's game of Super Mario 3.
agentcimorene
+0 -0
I agree about the ice beam, but it's all about Vaporeon and Venusaur together at end game, man.
I agree about the ice beam, but it's all about Vaporeon and Venusaur together at end game, man.
streever
+0 -1
well said
see, I told you you could spell better
well said
see, I told you you could spell better
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
fuck u, ok mang? jus fuck u
fuck u, ok mang? jus fuck u
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
if you wouldnt have pointed it out, he wouldnt have gotten self-conscious.
if you wouldnt have pointed it out, he wouldnt have gotten self-conscious.
notcool
+0 -0
I keep telling everybody.
FUCKING HEMINGWAY.
I keep telling everybody.
FUCKING HEMINGWAY.
honesttom
+1 -0
Is that the latest celebrity sex tape?
Is that the latest celebrity sex tape?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Never was there a more incongruous but hilarious relationship between message and avicon.
Never was there a more incongruous but hilarious relationship between message and avicon.
notcool
+0 -0
That is my pet theory that the angrier Glad gets, the more eloquent he becomes. Soon, he will reach an anger threshold, where he shall become as perfect of a writer as Hemingway...and then powerfuck and old Chinese man to death and spend the rest of forever in jail.
That is my pet theory that the angrier Glad gets, the more eloquent he becomes. Soon, he will reach an anger threshold, where he shall become as perfect of a writer as Hemingway...and then powerfuck and old Chinese man to death and spend the rest of forever in jail.
streever
+0 -0
I will lead him to this.
I will lead him to this.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I am watching you type. That thing you do with your pinkie finger is weird.
I am watching you type. That thing you do with your pinkie finger is weird.
streever
+0 -0
Why you gotta call it out. Why you gotta mention it at all. (honestly my right pinky does do a weird thing. How'd you know)
Why you gotta call it out. Why you gotta mention it at all. (honestly my right pinky does do a weird thing. How'd you know)
re5urgam
+0 -0
I am watching you type.
I am watching you type.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
'and with one bound Jack was free'
'and with one bound Jack was free'
evilperson
+7 -0
roast beef's circumstances broke karma.
roast beef's circumstances broke karma.
hidden_7
+4 -0
It appears Roast Beef's Nature has led him both to this situation, and away from it. And THAT is the REAL performance art.
It appears Roast Beef's Nature has led him both to this situation, and away from it. And THAT is the REAL performance art.
cpnglxynchos
+19 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
noooo_oo_oo
+1 -0
HE GETS THINGS DONE
HE GETS THINGS DONE
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no, Ray gets things done.
Beef solves problems.
no, Ray gets things done.
Beef solves problems.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
it is also what's for dinner.
*bum-bum-bum~*
it is also what's for dinner.
*bum-bum-bum~*
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
but solving problems is not a Thing!
but solving problems is not a Thing!
pygmalion00
+0 -0
GODDAMMIT, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROB....oh wait.
GODDAMMIT, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROB....oh wait.
falseprophet
+2 -0
That's the thing about getting things done. It can just as much contribute to as well as detract from the solving of problems.
That's the thing about getting things done. It can just as much contribute to as well as detract from the solving of problems.
streever
+0 -0
Ray also pays attention
Ray also pays attention
wozzeck
+5 -0
Usually six hundred dollars at a time.
Usually six hundred dollars at a time.
streever
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Streever was not paying attention when he mashed Post.
We must all learn from his mistake and become stronger (wo)men because of it.
Streever was not paying attention when he mashed Post.
We must all learn from his mistake and become stronger (wo)men because of it.
daidai
+1 -0
daidai
+0 -0
oops
oops
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*knowing smile*
*knowing smile*
lateadopter
+0 -0
Daidai may have had an accident there, but I'm not sure it's the type that calls for an area wipe ?
Daidai may have had an accident there, but I'm not sure it's the type that calls for an area wipe ?
wazza
+0 -0
how many titty-buxx did they pay you to slip in that endorsement, lateadopter?
how many titty-buxx did they pay you to slip in that endorsement, lateadopter?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
moistworld is probably my favorite place to go.
moistworld is probably my favorite place to go.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
love it.
love it.
thegoblins
+0 -0
[i]Worldly[/i}
[i]Worldly[/i}
thegoblins
+0 -0
Ah sludgemonkeys
Ah sludgemonkeys
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Yeeeeeeeaaasssssssshhhhh massshhhter?
Yeeeeeeeaaasssssssshhhhh massshhhter?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Go forth and fetch me some mangoes.
Go forth and fetch me some mangoes.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
lookit miss thang gettin all bossy up ins...
lookit miss thang gettin all bossy up ins...
octafish
+0 -0
Baiter.
Baiter.
tetsujin
+0 -0
Yeah, MoistWorld rocks! My favorite is how every hour, on the hour, the man in the golden suit comes out and gives everyone new and exotic postage stamps!
Yeah, MoistWorld rocks! My favorite is how every hour, on the hour, the man in the golden suit comes out and gives everyone new and exotic postage stamps!
streever
+0 -0
No, no. That was a "right on" blank post.
No, no. That was a "right on" blank post.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
Raymond Q. Smuckles lacks a corpus callosum
Raymond Q. Smuckles lacks a corpus callosum
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
something's wrong with his medulla oblongata!
[/col. sanders]
something's wrong with his medulla oblongata!
[/col. sanders]
thegoblins
+0 -0
He'd be dead.
He'd be dead.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
duh.
duh.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Are you saying he would be dead if there were something wrong with his medulla oblongata, or if he had no corpus callosum? Yes to A, no to B.
Are you saying he would be dead if there were something wrong with his medulla oblongata, or if he had no corpus callosum? Yes to A, no to B.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
y'all some anatomy nerds.
(i totally read Gray's after posting that.)
y'all some anatomy nerds.
(i totally read Gray's after posting that.)
tetsujin
+0 -0
You gotta love nerd-dom, though. I love when people apply uncommon knowledge to common conversations - because that's their world, and it's stupid to cut one's expertise out from all of one's social interactions...
You gotta love nerd-dom, though. I love when people apply uncommon knowledge to common conversations - because that's their world, and it's stupid to cut one's expertise out from all of one's social interactions...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
fo'real.
fo'real.
belgand
+1 -0
It's not even that. I just sort of assume that these are basic topics that most people know about. Well, maybe not most people owing to how astoundingly dumb the average person is, but most people in my peer group.
If you're a geek you probably have a solid grounding in most of the major sciences and the ability to discuss them at a college level. Not to ignore the humanities either, but people conversant on those tend to be a bit more common.
Knowing about this just means you actually paid attention in high school biology (and possibly also psychology... though I also ended up taking biological psychology in college as an elective). Knowing things shouldn't be weird. We ought to find it a lot weirder when high school graduates don't know this sort of thing. Or at least angry about the poor quality of education in the Anglophonic world.
It's not even that. I just sort of assume that these are basic topics that most people know about. Well, maybe not most people owing to how astoundingly dumb the average person is, but most people in my peer group.
If you're a geek you probably have a solid grounding in most of the major sciences and the ability to discuss them at a college level. Not to ignore the humanities either, but people conversant on those tend to be a bit more common.
Knowing about this just means you actually paid attention in high school biology (and possibly also psychology... though I also ended up taking biological psychology in college as an elective). Knowing things shouldn't be weird. We ought to find it a lot weirder when high school graduates don't know this sort of thing. Or at least angry about the poor quality of education in the Anglophonic world.
stereo
+0 -0
All I know about biology I learned in a 4th year university course about MRI/CAT scans, from a mathematical perspective.
On the other hand, I recognize my weakness and use google/wikipedia to supplement my knowledge if necessary.
All I know about biology I learned in a 4th year university course about MRI/CAT scans, from a mathematical perspective.
On the other hand, I recognize my weakness and use google/wikipedia to supplement my knowledge if necessary.
noooo_oo_oo
+1 -0
Knowing things becomes weird on its own. People can't just remember things forever, it has to be reinforced through usage or study.
Yes, people should spend more time working on what could be basic knowledge, but when you do, it is said that you have spent too much time on that stuff and will have trouble finding sexual partners as a result.
And this is said about people even while they are in middle school, so the flaws in our education system are quite deeply rooted.
Knowing things becomes weird on its own. People can't just remember things forever, it has to be reinforced through usage or study.
Yes, people should spend more time working on what could be basic knowledge, but when you do, it is said that you have spent too much time on that stuff and will have trouble finding sexual partners as a result.
And this is said about people even while they are in middle school, so the flaws in our education system are quite deeply rooted.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well, I would argue that part of the reason I know the medulla oblongata's very essential function is because I've studied science/ biology and the human body past the level of freshman bio in high school. Otherwise I might not remember.
Well, I would argue that part of the reason I know the medulla oblongata's very essential function is because I've studied science/ biology and the human body past the level of freshman bio in high school. Otherwise I might not remember.
deus
+2 -0
He knows analouge hacking!
He knows analouge hacking!
mg7810
+3 -0
Someone gets sassy after he hacks a big ol' wheel of karma!
Someone gets sassy after he hacks a big ol' wheel of karma!
neonfreon
+0 -0
man that makes him look kinda like he fixes toilets
man that makes him look kinda like he fixes toilets
crumpetsandtea
+5 -0
if fixing a toilet is not solving a problem, I don't know what is.
if fixing a toilet is not solving a problem, I don't know what is.
firedmyass
+0 -0
fixing toilets... godDAM if that ain't the best analogy for karma
fixing toilets... godDAM if that ain't the best analogy for karma
yorkshiretea
+0 -0
The fire escape door of Nirvana
The fire escape door of Nirvana
stereo
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no, Ko-BANG found that one.
no, Ko-BANG found that one.
wazza
+0 -0
I thought he found the fire escape door to Courtney Love...
I thought he found the fire escape door to Courtney Love...
thegoblins
+0 -0
Satellite of CUNT
Satellite of CUNT
octafish
+0 -0
Sa-tel-lite...
Sa-tel-lite...
belgand
+0 -0
Harry, Mark, and John were just the amuse bouche . This is a full-on banquet of slutty and she's barely past the fish course.
Harry, Mark, and John were just the amuse bouche . This is a full-on banquet of slutty and she's barely past the fish course.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I love it when people use the phrase "amuse bouche." Thank you, belgand.
P.S. I spelled your name correctly!
I love it when people use the phrase "amuse bouche." Thank you, belgand.
P.S. I spelled your name correctly!
8
+0 -0
amuse gueule is much more commonly employed
amuse gueule is much more commonly employed
re5urgam
+0 -0
I have been told often that amuse-gueule is more commonly employed, but I have never heard it myself. I tend to hear amuse-bouche. Maybe I'm just going to the wrong restaurants.
I have been told often that amuse-gueule is more commonly employed, but I have never heard it myself. I tend to hear amuse-bouche. Maybe I'm just going to the wrong restaurants.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Never heard amuse-gueule either, apparently gueule actually means an animal's mouth, more lake our "maw" or "craw." Those funny French!
Never heard amuse-gueule either, apparently gueule actually means an animal's mouth, more lake our "maw" or "craw." Those funny French!
granularsilica
+0 -0
like
like
8
+0 -0
a restaurant is going to use bouche instead of gueule, because gueule is kinda a vulgar word, and the image of an animal's mouth isn't something you wanna conjure up in a restaurant.
a restaurant is going to use bouche instead of gueule, because gueule is kinda a vulgar word, and the image of an animal's mouth isn't something you wanna conjure up in a restaurant.
belgand
+0 -0
Perhaps it is a regional thing, but yeah, in the US amuse bouche tends to be the most commonly used, at least for someone who is not a working cook.
I'm still amazed I have yet to see the phrase used to refer directly to a sex act. That is, the act itself, not simply as a metaphor for an unspecified act as I did earlier.
Perhaps it is a regional thing, but yeah, in the US amuse bouche tends to be the most commonly used, at least for someone who is not a working cook.
I'm still amazed I have yet to see the phrase used to refer directly to a sex act. That is, the act itself, not simply as a metaphor for an unspecified act as I did earlier.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Perhaps not enough people are that orally fixated.
Perhaps not enough people are that orally fixated.
wazza
+0 -0
are you suggesting that we endeavour to increase the number of orally fixated people?
I am 100% behind this plan .
are you suggesting that we endeavour to increase the number of orally fixated people?
I am 100% behind this plan .
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'd suggest we do so by making billboards that suggest that placing your mouth upon the genitals of another is one of the nicest things.
I'd suggest we do so by making billboards that suggest that placing your mouth upon the genitals of another is one of the nicest things.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
wazza
+0 -0
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me...
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah, i referenced that song a while back. it's like nobody cared.
yeah, i referenced that song a while back. it's like nobody cared.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Oh, what a nice Monty Python reference, that's a good Captain.
Oh, what a nice Monty Python reference, that's a good Captain.
wazza
+0 -0
Oh gods, why has no one sat on my face or told me that they love me yet!?!
WHY WON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEE?????
Oh gods, why has no one sat on my face or told me that they love me yet!?!
WHY WON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEE?????
thegoblins
+0 -0
Because you're using the wrong part of your tongue.
Because you're using the wrong part of your tongue.
wazza
+0 -0
will you teach me which is the right part of the tongue, thegoblins?
will you teach me which is the right part of the tongue, thegoblins?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I know not. Not the tip, apparently.
I know not. Not the tip, apparently.
wazza
+0 -0
maybe we could make some experiments... do it all scientific .
maybe we could make some experiments... do it all scientific .
thegoblins
+0 -0
That's the best way to do it, I hear.
That's the best way to do it, I hear.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I would really like for this conversation to stop appearing my comment inbox. Just putting that out there. (Get a room.)
I would really like for this conversation to stop appearing my comment inbox. Just putting that out there. (Get a room.)
wazza
+0 -0
why is that, re5urgam?
do you not want to know which part of the tongue is right?
why is that, re5urgam?
do you not want to know which part of the tongue is right?
re5urgam
+0 -0
I'm pretty confident in my knowledge of such matters.
I'm pretty confident in my knowledge of such matters.
wazza
+0 -0
perhaps you could demonstrate for the rest of us?
perhaps you could demonstrate for the rest of us?
re5urgam
+0 -0
So, what are you doing tonight?
So, what are you doing tonight?
wazza
+0 -0
tonight I am going to be more or less comatose due to not enough sleep. You may more or less do with me as you will.
tonight I am going to be more or less comatose due to not enough sleep. You may more or less do with me as you will.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I apologize for letting my crappy ways get in everyone else's way :(
I apologize for letting my crappy ways get in everyone else's way :(
re5urgam
+0 -0
That's no reason to make a :(
That's no reason to make a :(
re5urgam
+0 -0
Actually, on second thought, yes, it is.
Actually, on second thought, yes, it is.
thegoblins
+0 -0
So apparently wazza wishes to be eaten out. WHAT A TWIST.
So apparently wazza wishes to be eaten out. WHAT A TWIST.
wazza
+0 -0
have you heard of Asleep Style?
have you heard of Asleep Style?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I invented it!
Not really. I...I don't know what I'm saying. Time to go study!
I invented it!
Not really. I...I don't know what I'm saying. Time to go study!
re5urgam
+0 -0
I totally did Asleep Style on you last night.
I totally did Asleep Style on you last night.
wazza
+0 -0
you hear that, thegoblins? you got some hot lady loving!
you hear that, thegoblins? you got some hot lady loving!
thegoblins
+0 -0
So that's why I woke up smothered in ketchup!
So that's why I woke up smothered in ketchup!
belgand
+0 -0
Oh... uhm... uh... sorry about that, but I'd just made tater tots.
Oh... uhm... uh... sorry about that, but I'd just made tater tots.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Dude, what a delightful way to enjoy tator tots. I am going to have to try this.
Dude, what a delightful way to enjoy tator tots. I am going to have to try this.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Inside a lady's bits?
Inside a lady's bits?
re5urgam
+0 -0
I would prefer it to involve a dude's bits, but I'll let you know what happens.
I would prefer it to involve a dude's bits, but I'll let you know what happens.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I hear you have to be careful with the crunching, though.
I hear you have to be careful with the crunching, though.
wazza
+0 -0
thanks to this conversation, I will be getting wood in the frozen foods section of the supermarket even more often .
thanks to this conversation, I will be getting wood in the frozen foods section of the supermarket even more often .
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's difficult to keep your calm anyway, what with all those green beans and peas strutting their stuff at you. Whores
It's difficult to keep your calm anyway, what with all those green beans and peas strutting their stuff at you. Whores
wazza
+0 -0
none of them give me the Freezer Frenzy as much as you, thegoblins...
none of them give me the Freezer Frenzy as much as you, thegoblins...
belgand
+0 -0
I never understood the idea of licking food products off of people or, for that matter, even applying it to them. It just strikes me as messy, unpleasant, and unhygenic.
I do seriously want for tater tots right now though.
I never understood the idea of licking food products off of people or, for that matter, even applying it to them. It just strikes me as messy, unpleasant, and unhygenic.
I do seriously want for tater tots right now though.
wazza
+0 -0
the idea is simple: it's a way of indulging your yeast infection fetish.
Now, off the upper torso, particularly if you draw a trail of chocolate sauce across her skin, swirling slowly in towards her nipples...
let's just say food has its place
but that place is not in the vajay-jay!
the idea is simple: it's a way of indulging your yeast infection fetish.
Now, off the upper torso, particularly if you draw a trail of chocolate sauce across her skin, swirling slowly in towards her nipples...
let's just say food has its place
but that place is not in the vajay-jay!
re5urgam
+0 -0
I am liking the ideas you are having.
I am liking the ideas you are having.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I've always wanted to try nutella. Just because it's DELICIOUS. But yes, not in the ginie-box.
I've always wanted to try nutella. Just because it's DELICIOUS. But yes, not in the ginie-box.
wazza
+0 -0
one of my friends says that nutella is by far the best for this sort of play, because it's both delicious and easy to control. Never had the opportunity to try it myself.
one of my friends says that nutella is by far the best for this sort of play, because it's both delicious and easy to control. Never had the opportunity to try it myself.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Nutella is definitely the best. It's flavorful, and it's thick/viscous so it's not going to drip everywhere or seep into things like syrup or other such, more liquidy, things.
Nutella is definitely the best. It's flavorful, and it's thick/viscous so it's not going to drip everywhere or seep into things like syrup or other such, more liquidy, things.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Good to know!
Good to know!
wazza
+0 -0
I am extremely glad to see it was the real thegoblins in this conversation. That could have turned out awkward .
I am extremely glad to see it was the real thegoblins in this conversation. That could have turned out awkward .
thegoblins
+0 -0
Oh, if it's about sexy topics, chances are it's actually me and not an imitation.
Oh, if it's about sexy topics, chances are it's actually me and not an imitation.
wazza
+0 -0
The Real thegoblins
ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS!
I can totally get behind the idea that the way to check your authenticity is to check for sexiness.
The Real thegoblins
ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS!
I can totally get behind the idea that the way to check your authenticity is to check for sexiness.
thegoblins
+0 -0
My posts exude nothing but the rockingest of tits!
My posts exude nothing but the rockingest of tits!
wazza
+0 -0
are they RUUUUUUDE?
are they RUUUUUUDE?
thegoblins
+0 -0
They are not generally polite, so yes.
They are not generally polite, so yes.
wazza
+0 -0
This raises questions: how can tits be polite?
Your answers in the form of a 3000 word essay, or photographic evidence of tits being polite.
This raises questions: how can tits be polite?
Your answers in the form of a 3000 word essay, or photographic evidence of tits being polite.
thegoblins
+0 -0
JUST SHOW ME POLITE TITS COME ON
JUST SHOW ME POLITE TITS COME ON
dumbeast
+0 -0
I think that he's fixing the escapement on the karmic wheel, now.
I think that he's fixing the escapement on the karmic wheel, now.
radioelectric
+4 -0
The Karma machine, affected by his insensitive touch, runs freely and produces several incarnations of Roast Beef in unfortunate circumstances. Years later they all find each other through a newspaper advert and swear to track down the original Roast Beef for his crime.
The Karma machine, affected by his insensitive touch, runs freely and produces several incarnations of Roast Beef in unfortunate circumstances. Years later they all find each other through a newspaper advert and swear to track down the original Roast Beef for his crime.
smallblackdog
+2 -0
Although a Facebook group is more likely - 'I survived the Karma machine'
Although a Facebook group is more likely - 'I survived the Karma machine'
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
how many legitimate members would there be?
discuss.
how many legitimate members would there be?
discuss.
anticitizen
+0 -0
smallblackdog superpoked cpnglxynchos with a big ol' wheel of Karma!
smallblackdog superpoked cpnglxynchos with a big ol' wheel of Karma!
gyrate
+0 -0
Is that the mild Karma or the sharp Karma? And what wine is best served with it?
Is that the mild Karma or the sharp Karma? And what wine is best served with it?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
and Phillipe hugged you.
and Phillipe hugged you.
tetsujin
+2 -0
Roast Beef Kazenzakis is a member of the group "People who have died"
Roast Beef Kazenzakis is a member of the group "People who have died"
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
COURTESY NOTICE.
COURTESY NOTICE.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Roast Beef unliked this group.
Roast Beef unliked this group.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Roast Beef's life has wounded him so badly that he is gumming up the Karma Machine works. How? How do you judge a man like that?
Roast Beef's life has wounded him so badly that he is gumming up the Karma Machine works. How? How do you judge a man like that?
slackaholicus
+0 -0
This arc started off bumpy with the Ray writing stuff. But this. This is what it's all about.
This arc started off bumpy with the Ray writing stuff. But this. This is what it's all about.
fatpat123
+8 -0
I do believe that the wheel of karma cannot decide whether Beef has been wounded by parents, others, self or god, spinning the pointer so fast that the machine breaks.
I do believe that the wheel of karma cannot decide whether Beef has been wounded by parents, others, self or god, spinning the pointer so fast that the machine breaks.
gyrate
+0 -0
I do believe that I agree.
I do believe that I agree.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I do believe that one simply hasn't been able to get the staff since the War of Northern Agression.
I do believe that one simply hasn't been able to get the staff since the War of Northern Agression.
gyrate
+1 -0
There are little blue pills now which help you "get the staff". They are a marvel.
Of SCIENCE.
There are little blue pills now which help you "get the staff". They are a marvel.
Of SCIENCE.
wazza
+1 -0
You take the blue pill, a girl and you make your genitals swell to the point where you can do something about it. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
You take the blue pill, a girl and you make your genitals swell to the point where you can do something about it. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
aperson
+1 -0
That's what ah fuck it.
That's what ah fuck it.
belgand
+0 -0
How do the red and blue pill differ then? Or... wait... OH SHIT! The red pill is a roofie and you're totally gonna get raped!
How do the red and blue pill differ then? Or... wait... OH SHIT! The red pill is a roofie and you're totally gonna get raped!
wazza
+0 -0
or it's a hallucinogen.
Either way, you're fucked.
or it's a hallucinogen.
Either way, you're fucked.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
of course you mean 'staph'.
of course you mean 'staph'.
deus
+0 -0
Fuckings to CH for trying to categorize him!
Fuckings to CH for trying to categorize him!
streever
+0 -0
Hey now. CH didn't try anything. This comes from a higher authority.
Hey now. CH didn't try anything. This comes from a higher authority.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Hebrew National
"We answer to a higher authority."
[IMGS OFF]
Hebrew National
"We answer to a higher authority."
belgand
+0 -0
This is teaching me a lot more about his hog than I ever wanted to know. Didn't know the dude was koshered. Pretty sure I could have kept on not knowing that.
Is it just me or does this also kinda sound like a Beef-focused porno compilation film?
This is teaching me a lot more about his hog than I ever wanted to know. Didn't know the dude was koshered. Pretty sure I could have kept on not knowing that.
Is it just me or does this also kinda sound like a Beef-focused porno compilation film?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it just means he was killed in a Kosher manner.
it just means he was killed in a Kosher manner.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm still going to say that it can be used as a valid term to indicate that a dude is now sporting a crew neck.
I'm still going to say that it can be used as a valid term to indicate that a dude is now sporting a crew neck.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
besides, i really thought we were talking about CH's higher authority.
besides, i really thought we were talking about CH's higher authority.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is cat kosher?
Is cat kosher?
wazza
+0 -0
they don't chew the cud. I thought for a second maybe toes would count as cloven feet, but they don't chew the cud so it's moot.
they don't chew the cud. I thought for a second maybe toes would count as cloven feet, but they don't chew the cud so it's moot.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
So long as you kill it the right way, i'd reckon it is.
So long as you kill it the right way, i'd reckon it is.
neonfreon
+0 -0
i buy hebrew national hot dogs =) NITRATES: TAKE A HIKE
i buy hebrew national hot dogs =) NITRATES: TAKE A HIKE
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
nitrates ensure that the meat is unspoiled. nitrates are not the enemy.
nitrates ensure that the meat is unspoiled. nitrates are not the enemy.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Nitrates...wh...
No, I can't do it. Someone else must.
Nitrates...wh...
No, I can't do it. Someone else must.
woodenteeth
+3 -0
Nitrates? What salt from the gas?
Nitrates? What salt from the gas?
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm assaulted by tons of products without nitrates all the time. Not to mention packaged bread without preservatives (yay! It's moldy the day after I bought it!). If you have to buy Hebrew National to get it without nitrates you clearly don't shop at Trader Joe's.
That said, some people do have a negative reaction to them so there is a bit of a valid need... it's just gone a bit too far in general. Sort of like people who somehow seem to think that fertilized eggs are somehow good for you instead of the same, but much grosser.
Yeah, I'm assaulted by tons of products without nitrates all the time. Not to mention packaged bread without preservatives (yay! It's moldy the day after I bought it!). If you have to buy Hebrew National to get it without nitrates you clearly don't shop at Trader Joe's.
That said, some people do have a negative reaction to them so there is a bit of a valid need... it's just gone a bit too far in general. Sort of like people who somehow seem to think that fertilized eggs are somehow good for you instead of the same, but much grosser.
noah_j
+0 -0
probably true, but it seems like there is something missing. you can see it best in the third panel, on the far left. one of the little white circles is gone.
probably true, but it seems like there is something missing. you can see it best in the third panel, on the far left. one of the little white circles is gone.
noah_j
+0 -0
it was missing from yesterday's too
it was missing from yesterday's too
moolah
+0 -0
wat
wat
edd36
+0 -0
I have a feeling CH planned this to happen all along...
I have a feeling CH planned this to happen all along...
comrade_tom
+0 -0
course he did, he just lines up the dominoes, its up to us to knock 'em down.
course he did, he just lines up the dominoes, its up to us to knock 'em down.
streever
+0 -0
That's not how CH works.
That's not how CH works.
deus
+0 -0
RUN DAWG RUN!
... uh i mean RUN CAT RUN!
RUN DAWG RUN!
... uh i mean RUN CAT RUN!
theirateturk
+0 -0
DO YOU NOT SEE IT? HE IS REBORN AGAIN.
(he was in the foetal position)
DO YOU NOT SEE IT? HE IS REBORN AGAIN.
(he was in the foetal position)
hamscout
+24 -0
Agreed, but Beef performed a caesarian section on himself to become the Deus to his own Ex Machina.
Agreed, but Beef performed a caesarian section on himself to become the Deus to his own Ex Machina.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Beef some kind of nerd, ya'll.
Beef some kind of nerd, ya'll.
belgand
+0 -0
He has become the self-created man and in doing so will hopefully be able to avoid some of the fundamental problems that his previous existence had imposed on him.
That or he's even more fucked now because he's his own parent and that just isn't any sort of thing Beef ought to be.
OOOOOHHHH SHIIIITTT!!!
He has become the self-created man and in doing so will hopefully be able to avoid some of the fundamental problems that his previous existence had imposed on him.
That or he's even more fucked now because he's his own parent and that just isn't any sort of thing Beef ought to be.
OOOOOHHHH SHIIIITTT!!!
wazza
+1 -0
Roast Beef is about to find his way into the deity control room.
He's going to make a species in his own image and be all
HOW ARE YOU
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
Just push on its nose with his open palm and watch as like one of its arms falls off
Roast Beef is about to find his way into the deity control room.
He's going to make a species in his own image and be all
HOW ARE YOU
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
Just push on its nose with his open palm and watch as like one of its arms falls off
deus
+0 -2
Beef is GOD!....like me.
Beef is GOD!....like me.
deus
+0 -0
FAH! TO YOU ALL!
I AM THE MASTER OF MY REALITY AND I CREATE!
FAH! TO YOU ALL!
I AM THE MASTER OF MY REALITY AND I CREATE!
dybrar
+0 -0
"[He is] the Deus to his own Ex Machina" is a lovely term and I feel that being exposed to it has improved my day in a small but meaningful way.
"[He is] the Deus to his own Ex Machina" is a lovely term and I feel that being exposed to it has improved my day in a small but meaningful way.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
yea, and verily, your avicon is troubling. to the utmost.
yea, and verily, your avicon is troubling. to the utmost.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I forget what the whole set-up for it was exactly. It came from the Wales story somehow. Perhaps a broken mystical sheep hymen. Though I would like to think bees would come out.
I forget what the whole set-up for it was exactly. It came from the Wales story somehow. Perhaps a broken mystical sheep hymen. Though I would like to think bees would come out.
brochicha
+0 -0
It's from an animated short by Don Hertzfeldt. I forget the name.
It's from an animated short by Don Hertzfeldt. I forget the name.
brochicha
+1 -0
Oh yeah - it was called "Rejected."
Oh yeah - it was called "Rejected."
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
your avi reminds me of Charlie & Lola and that is rad.
once upon a friend's birthday, we watched a dvd all of that guy's animations and other things i'm not sure were by him or not, all furniture getting it on and something involving Grandpa. i was not allowed to stay for the sleepover.
pft, high school.
your avi reminds me of Charlie & Lola and that is rad.
once upon a friend's birthday, we watched a dvd all of that guy's animations and other things i'm not sure were by him or not, all furniture getting it on and something involving Grandpa. i was not allowed to stay for the sleepover.
pft, high school.
brochicha
+0 -0
thanks, i made it myself.
thanks, i made it myself.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
no wai!? 'tis radical.
no wai!? 'tis radical.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Ooh, I though it was Scary-Go-Round fanart. If not, that's cool too.
(But it is much cooler if it is.)
Ooh, I though it was Scary-Go-Round fanart. If not, that's cool too.
(But it is much cooler if it is.)
emosexy
+0 -0
My ANUS IS BLEEDING!!!
That is what the little fluffy character is saying, not myself. Thank you.
My ANUS IS BLEEDING!!!
That is what the little fluffy character is saying, not myself. Thank you.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Yaaayyyy!! Woohooo!!
(That is what the other little fluffy characters are saying.)
Yaaayyyy!! Woohooo!!
(That is what the other little fluffy characters are saying.)
belgand
+0 -0
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY... MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!! "
I love to apply that to dull conversations as a non-sequitur.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY... MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!! "
I love to apply that to dull conversations as a non-sequitur.
stereo
+0 -0
It's funny, cause if that video of the guy with the jar is any indication, that's not actually how a person reacts.
It's funny, cause if that video of the guy with the jar is any indication, that's not actually how a person reacts.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I think it is folly to presume that the man with the jar is a fair model of average human behaviour.
I think it is folly to presume that the man with the jar is a fair model of average human behaviour.
wazza
+0 -0
My anus has bled like that before. Not cool, not funny, not a good asset.
You think I am joking.
My anus has bled like that before. Not cool, not funny, not a good asset.
You think I am joking.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
My sister's did too; I rushed her to the emergency room and hoped fervently first that she'd be okay and second that the blood would come out of my car seat. She was diagnosed a day later with leukemia and Crohn's disease. She survived, and now three years later can't eat some things without gastric retaliation, but is otherwise great.
My sister's did too; I rushed her to the emergency room and hoped fervently first that she'd be okay and second that the blood would come out of my car seat. She was diagnosed a day later with leukemia and Crohn's disease. She survived, and now three years later can't eat some things without gastric retaliation, but is otherwise great.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Leukemia AND Crohn's. Holy Fuck. As far as Karma goes it's all Cookies for her from here on out.
Leukemia AND Crohn's. Holy Fuck. As far as Karma goes it's all Cookies for her from here on out.
belgand
+0 -0
My dad has Crohn's and got resectioned before I was born. Totally not a cool thing.
That said, I doubt anyone has ever bled quite like that. It was coming out like a fire hose and quickly reached waist-high.
My dad has Crohn's and got resectioned before I was born. Totally not a cool thing.
That said, I doubt anyone has ever bled quite like that. It was coming out like a fire hose and quickly reached waist-high.
8
+1 -0
some even got on the mayor
some even got on the mayor
icicole
+0 -0
Woohoo!
Of course, what if the karma machine is designed such that you must always fix it yourself, and therefore you determine the outcome of where the wheel stops.
Woohoo!
Of course, what if the karma machine is designed such that you must always fix it yourself, and therefore you determine the outcome of where the wheel stops.
icicole
+0 -0
Please forgive my reply to my own post, but I just read the alt-text and take back my comment.
Please forgive my reply to my own post, but I just read the alt-text and take back my comment.
gyrate
+0 -0
It is too late. You are doomed to be reincarnated as either an Unfortunate Being or a post-menopausal real estate agent.
It is too late. You are doomed to be reincarnated as either an Unfortunate Being or a post-menopausal real estate agent.
hamscout
+12 -0
Also, I kind of like that idea...
[IMGS OFF]
C'mon! Six Hundo-Six Hundo... No Lash Of Thanatos.... aaand STOP!
Also, I kind of like that idea...
[IMGS OFF]
C'mon! Six Hundo-Six Hundo... No Lash Of Thanatos.... aaand STOP!
smilebuddha
+1 -0
STOP! For $1500 and another spin through the Wheel!
STOP! For $1500 and another spin through the Wheel!
belgand
+0 -0
Beef spent about an hour running the wheel, trying to get reincarnated as something he felt he deserved to be. In the end, however, he ended up losing all of his winnings in an ethereal ponzi scheme.
Beef spent about an hour running the wheel, trying to get reincarnated as something he felt he deserved to be. In the end, however, he ended up losing all of his winnings in an ethereal ponzi scheme.
professorhazard
+1 -0
I thought the one next to the kangaroo said BIG DUCKS at first.
I thought the one next to the kangaroo said BIG DUCKS at first.
wazza
+0 -0
who would not wish to win a big duck?
who would not wish to win a big duck?
srikamaraja
+4 -0
Most freshwater mollusks/crustaceans
Most freshwater mollusks/crustaceans
wazza
+0 -0
A chubby for you, sir.
A chubby for you, sir.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
https://fruitfly.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/babyhuey.jpg
https://fruitfly.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/babyhuey.jpg
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
what i meant was:
[IMGS OFF]
what i meant was:
[IMGS OFF]
octafish
+0 -0
What, you thought I wanted a ten inch pianist?
What, you thought I wanted a ten inch pianist?
stereo
+0 -0
My tied VA diner is not quite what I expected either.
My tied VA diner is not quite what I expected either.
theirateturk
+1 -0
Needs more Michael Larson
Needs more Michael Larson
tothevictor10
+0 -0
jesus. i love achewood. i mean. he lost me for a second. but roast beef fixing mechanical shit even in death. classic. just like old times.
jesus. i love achewood. i mean. he lost me for a second. but roast beef fixing mechanical shit even in death. classic. just like old times.
parkerah
+0 -0
so. many. periods.
so. many. periods.
philophobe
+7 -0
Aw, c'mon man, you know the ladies can't help their biology.
Aw, c'mon man, you know the ladies can't help their biology.
mensch
+1 -0
You're forgetting about cunt pills.
You're forgetting about cunt pills.
wingspan
+0 -0
I don't mind as long as they don't forget them.
I don't mind as long as they don't forget them.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Damn right. Ain't wearing no gunny sack.
Damn right. Ain't wearing no gunny sack.
aelindil
+0 -0
And even then, those just regulate, not eliminate. Unless you cheat and skip the placebos, which can fuck you up if you do it too long.
And even then, those just regulate, not eliminate. Unless you cheat and skip the placebos, which can fuck you up if you do it too long.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[high5]] for knowledge! thank you, ma'am.
[[high5]] for knowledge! thank you, ma'am.
wazza
+0 -0
a needleful?
a needleful?
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
There is one that eliminates the cycle, methinks. You're right about the ordinary kind, though.
Quote:
And even then, those just regulate, not eliminate
There is one that eliminates the cycle, methinks. You're right about the ordinary kind, though.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Even with those, you still have to have it once a year. The only way you get to not have it at all is by being anorexic, being pregnant, or being old.
Such is the life of us womenfolk.
Even with those, you still have to have it once a year. The only way you get to not have it at all is by being anorexic, being pregnant, or being old.
Such is the life of us womenfolk.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... or exercising to the extreme . Knew a couple of triatheletes that just didn't bleed while in training.
... or exercising to the extreme . Knew a couple of triatheletes that just didn't bleed while in training.
octafish
+0 -0
Not to cast nasturtiums, but were synthetic hormones involved?
Not to cast nasturtiums, but were synthetic hormones involved?
wazza
+0 -1
You know, I wonder what Vampires think of periods...
You know, I wonder what Vampires think of periods...
firedmyass
+0 -0
Which would you prefer: natural spring water, or water that has been used to rinse out the back of an el Camino?
(Ladeez, I am not equating your complex and beautiful hey-dillies to trashy car/truck chimeras)
Which would you prefer: natural spring water, or water that has been used to rinse out the back of an el Camino?
(Ladeez, I am not equating your complex and beautiful hey-dillies to trashy car/truck chimeras)
mensch
+0 -0
Don't back-peddle from your wonderful (vagina : weird car/truck) metaphor.
Don't back-peddle from your wonderful (vagina : weird car/truck) metaphor.
8
+0 -0
I left the windows down, it rained, then the sun came out and now my car smells like a vagina
I left the windows down, it rained, then the sun came out and now my car smells like a vagina
granularsilica
+0 -0
You're hanging around some rough cunts.
You're hanging around some rough cunts.
belgand
+0 -0
el Camino : vagina :: Trans Am : ?
el Camino : vagina :: Trans Am : ?
stereo
+0 -0
An empty scrotum with a suspicious scar.
An empty scrotum with a suspicious scar.
stereo
+0 -0
Well, to be fair, that depends what generation T/A you mean.
Well, to be fair, that depends what generation T/A you mean.
belgand
+0 -0
T/A, not T/S.
T/A, not T/S.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
'hey-dillies' is a wonderful metaphor./sincerity
and by wonderful, i mean wonderfully humorous and fun.
'hey-dillies' is a wonderful metaphor./sincerity
and by wonderful, i mean wonderfully humorous and fun.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
No. She was entirely clean. About 16 or so when in training too.
No. She was entirely clean. About 16 or so when in training too.
belgand
+0 -0
A friend of mine from the past didn't have them. She ended up having to go to the doctor when she was eighteen and finding out that she was missing her uterus or something. I thought they would have figured out something was wrong earlier, but apparently they just kept telling her to keep waiting another year before then.
She didn't want kids so it turned out to be quite a boon.
It is weird that humans are so biologically broken though. Most other animals just reabsorb it if it isn't used which seems like a much better system. Not only is a pain in the ass, but it's pretty problematic if you have to deal with predators and such.
A friend of mine from the past didn't have them. She ended up having to go to the doctor when she was eighteen and finding out that she was missing her uterus or something. I thought they would have figured out something was wrong earlier, but apparently they just kept telling her to keep waiting another year before then.
She didn't want kids so it turned out to be quite a boon.
It is weird that humans are so biologically broken though. Most other animals just reabsorb it if it isn't used which seems like a much better system. Not only is a pain in the ass, but it's pretty problematic if you have to deal with predators and such.
8
+0 -0
well you *can* reabsorb it if you really want to... and verily, why not! There's starving kids in Africa/rural Arkansas, after all... Eating it yourself is easier than sending it to them, and isn't a felony either.
well you *can* reabsorb it if you really want to... and verily, why not! There's starving kids in Africa/rural Arkansas, after all... Eating it yourself is easier than sending it to them, and isn't a felony either.
wazza
+0 -0
Humans also are fertile all the time, whereas most animals do it once a year or something similar. We're just weird like that.
Humans also are fertile all the time, whereas most animals do it once a year or something similar. We're just weird like that.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Weird but awesome.
Weird but awesome.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm definitely having too many. The last two are spaced two weeks apart. I have Problems.
I'm definitely having too many. The last two are spaced two weeks apart. I have Problems.
wazza
+0 -0
Can Roast Beef fix them?
Can Roast Beef fix them?
thegoblins
+1 -0
Roast Beef, mense-repairer!
Roast Beef, mense-repairer!
wazza
+1 -0
it's not easy being vagina-products Macgyver...
it's not easy being vagina-products Macgyver...
octafish
+0 -0
Yes he can!
Yes he can!
8
+0 -0
that probably has to do with your metabolism or something. you should get that shit looked at. you might be getting all pre-diabetic or some shit. especially if you're getting all fat.
that probably has to do with your metabolism or something. you should get that shit looked at. you might be getting all pre-diabetic or some shit. especially if you're getting all fat.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'd say there's a good chance (VERY good chance) that I am not pre-diabetic.
I'd say there's a good chance (VERY good chance) that I am not pre-diabetic.
wazza
+1 -0
no horny-onset diabetes?
no horny-onset diabetes?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
When that's happened to me it was ovarian cysts; easily knocked into submission with high-dose birth control pills.
When that's happened to me it was ovarian cysts; easily knocked into submission with high-dose birth control pills.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Dang man that is not fun.
I haven't had mine in 6 weeks and I am definitely not pregnant. Not that I'm complainin'... still, Problems.
Dang man that is not fun.
I haven't had mine in 6 weeks and I am definitely not pregnant. Not that I'm complainin'... still, Problems.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i hope you ladies are not having serious issues with your respective no-no areas.
i hope you ladies are not having serious issues with your respective no-no areas.
narenial
+0 -0
It must be the World. Mine, too.
D:
It must be the World. Mine, too.
D:
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Contraceptive Pills? If so... probably the reason.
Guess who's lady is having hella problems with contraceptive pills.
Contraceptive Pills? If so... probably the reason.
Guess who's lady is having hella problems with contraceptive pills.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Is it woodenteeth's?
I think it is woodenteeth's.
Is it woodenteeth's?
I think it is woodenteeth's.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Sometimes you take those for No-No problems. Sometimes they give you No-No problems. What to do?
(I don't take the cunt pills, btw)
Sometimes you take those for No-No problems. Sometimes they give you No-No problems. What to do?
(I don't take the cunt pills, btw)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure that you're going to confuse some people around here into thinking that your vagina is snapping your neck when you're in the middle of a sentence or something.
I'm pretty sure that you're going to confuse some people around here into thinking that your vagina is snapping your neck when you're in the middle of a sentence or something.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Emphasis on the "or something".
Emphasis on the "or something".
thegoblins
+0 -0
I don't understand you or your love.
I don't understand you or your love.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Kate is a very enigmatic figure.
Kate is a very enigmatic figure.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Winslet. Kate Winslet.
(This is a convenient untruth.)
Winslet. Kate Winslet.
(This is a convenient untruth.)
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
kate winslet is the kind of lady one dreams of in heaven.
kate winslet is the kind of lady one dreams of in heaven.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Panels 12 through 14 are positively social-realist, Chubby to the first who photoshops pannel 13 with " Why you got to do a thing" in cyrillic above it.
Panels 12 through 14 are positively social-realist, Chubby to the first who photoshops pannel 13 with " Why you got to do a thing" in cyrillic above it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
PEOPLES WORKINK FOR FATHERLAND LIKE BLOOD OF ANIMAL-- PLUS!
PEOPLES WORKINK FOR FATHERLAND LIKE BLOOD OF ANIMAL-- PLUS!
belgand
+23 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Excuse my crappy as hell Russian You know I got no sense of Cyrillic or Slavic languages at all
[IMGS OFF]
Excuse my crappy as hell Russian You know I got no sense of Cyrillic or Slavic languages at all
streever
+1 -0
Beautiful
Beautiful
crumpetsandtea
+1 -0
Gold.
Translates roughly more like: "Why would you yet manufacture an object?" but the meaning comes across.
My suggestion:"%u043D%u0443 %u0437%u0430%u0447%u0435%u043C %u0436%u0435 %u0442%u0430%u043A, %u0442%u043E%u0432%u0430%u0440%u0438%u0449%u0438?"
Gold.
Translates roughly more like: "Why would you yet manufacture an object?" but the meaning comes across.
My suggestion:"%u043D%u0443 %u0437%u0430%u0447%u0435%u043C %u0436%u0435 %u0442%u0430%u043A, %u0442%u043E%u0432%u0430%u0440%u0438%u0449%u0438?"
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
AH! what happened to my beautiful cyrillic writing?!
damn you assetbar, i will get even[/i]
AH! what happened to my beautiful cyrillic writing?!
damn you assetbar, i will get even[/i]
belgand
+1 -0
If you can't still see it, you need Assetbarista because it's coming in great for those of us who have it.
Likewise for those who don't know the language or Cyrillic the bottom translates as "Motherland!"
If you can't still see it, you need Assetbarista because it's coming in great for those of us who have it.
Likewise for those who don't know the language or Cyrillic the bottom translates as "Motherland!"
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Oh my gosh, I just took your advice and my assetbar is forever transformed. Thanks belgand!
Oh my gosh, I just took your advice and my assetbar is forever transformed. Thanks belgand!
belgand
+0 -0
There really needs to be a link or something at the top of the page. It helps reduce the level to which Assetbar is fundamentally broken and terrible.
There really needs to be a link or something at the top of the page. It helps reduce the level to which Assetbar is fundamentally broken and terrible.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Today is going well!
Today is going well!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Get yourself out of here, Teodor, vhy you alvays talkink?
Get yourself out of here, Teodor, vhy you alvays talkink?
emosexy
+0 -0
If the Russian was correct, I would so buy that shirt. So. buy. it.
If the Russian was correct, I would so buy that shirt. So. buy. it.
wazza
+2 -0
THE DUDE KNOWS CLOCKWORK!
THE DUDE KNOWS CLOCKWORK!
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
the clockwork knows the dude when the dude does not know the dude.
the clockwork knows the dude when the dude does not know the dude.
belgand
+0 -0
Tik-Tok still scares the everloving shit out of me.
Belgand is not at all down with Oz, not even a little.
Tik-Tok still scares the everloving shit out of me.
Belgand is not at all down with Oz, not even a little.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Here are your bran new brains
I always despised Ozma of Oz for having a storyline where a fun-loving lad is really a beautiful but vapid girl. I was NOOOO-ing so hard when he was turned back into a girl that blood came out of my no-plexus.
Here are your bran new brains
I always despised Ozma of Oz for having a storyline where a fun-loving lad is really a beautiful but vapid girl. I was NOOOO-ing so hard when he was turned back into a girl that blood came out of my no-plexus.
stereo
+0 -0
Hey, it's not her fault her brain overheats if she thinks too hard!
In the 19th century, only witches had air conditioners
Hey, it's not her fault her brain overheats if she thinks too hard!
In the 19th century, only witches had air conditioners
octafish
+0 -0
This karma machine runs like clockwork --Soviet era Ukrainian clockwork.
This karma machine runs like clockwork --Soviet era Ukrainian clockwork.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
It pretends to run and we pretend that it does run?
It pretends to run and we pretend that it does run?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It tells right time twice a day, and we pretend that Soviet Union inwented clocks.
It tells right time twice a day, and we pretend that Soviet Union inwented clocks.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
We salute the great Helmsman! Intellectual, Revolutionary, General, Master strategist, Proletarian, Pioneering Brain Surgeon, loving Father and the guy who invented the clock.
We salute the great Helmsman! Intellectual, Revolutionary, General, Master strategist, Proletarian, Pioneering Brain Surgeon, loving Father and the guy who invented the clock.
potatoes9000
+1 -0
Are you talking about Chekhov? Pavel, not Anton.
Are you talking about Chekhov? Pavel, not Anton.
troy_convers
+2 -0
He would of course say it Pawel
Nuclear Wessels etc.
He would of course say it Pawel
Nuclear Wessels etc.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Talkin' Yosef Vissarionovich "King dick of fuck mountain circa 1922-53" Djugashvili.
(Coincidentally the name of the unpopular B side to Dylan's Talkin' New York)
Talkin' Yosef Vissarionovich "King dick of fuck mountain circa 1922-53" Djugashvili.
(Coincidentally the name of the unpopular B side to Dylan's Talkin' New York)
thegoblins
+0 -0
You're a Chekhov!
You're a Chekhov!
wazza
+0 -0
You're a Djugashvili!
You're a Djugashvili!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Thank you!
Thank you!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
A Chekhov many trades, a masterbater of nuns.
Ohhhhhh shiiiittttt!
A Chekhov many trades, a masterbater of nuns.
Ohhhhhh shiiiittttt!
bluemoon72
+1 -0
Zounds!
Zounds!
neonfreon
+0 -0
this is a great moment in time
this is a great moment in time
invidious
+1 -0
Whelkspine - well, a whelk is a shell-based gastropod (mollusk) without a spine, so I'm assuming "whelkspine" is a condition where the spine is either absent or jelly-like?
otocephaly - born without a mandible. Eesh.
The progression around the wheel, from social to physical to spiritual disabilities implies the Lash of Thanatos is worse than any of these.
Truly, Beef is from circumstances.
Whelkspine - well, a whelk is a shell-based gastropod (mollusk) without a spine, so I'm assuming "whelkspine" is a condition where the spine is either absent or jelly-like?
otocephaly - born without a mandible. Eesh.
The progression around the wheel, from social to physical to spiritual disabilities implies the Lash of Thanatos is worse than any of these.
Truly, Beef is from circumstances.
wazza
+0 -0
I assumed whelkspine referred to the shape of a whelk's shell...
spiral-shaped spine?
I assumed whelkspine referred to the shape of a whelk's shell...
spiral-shaped spine?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Yeeeah Beef. Run for it!
Still, CH must've prepared for this and may be waiting on the other side with a situational card. "You cheated."
Yeeeah Beef. Run for it!
Still, CH must've prepared for this and may be waiting on the other side with a situational card. "You cheated."
wazza
+4 -0
I PROVED MYSELF A LAGGARD
WHO WOULD DESERT A BROKEN PIECE OF KARMIC MACHINERY
I PROVED MYSELF A LAGGARD
WHO WOULD DESERT A BROKEN PIECE OF KARMIC MACHINERY
planetidiot
+0 -0
Thank the animal.
Thank the animal.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Roast Beef IS the Lash of Thanatos!
Roast Beef IS the Lash of Thanatos!
fallow_fields
+0 -1
HUUUUUUUGS!!
HUUUUUUUGS!!
iduf
+0 -0
Escaping the cycle of reincarnation is apparently as easy as punching your way out of an air duct.
Escaping the cycle of reincarnation is apparently as easy as punching your way out of an air duct.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
which is not that easy. Trust.
which is not that easy. Trust.
granularsilica
+0 -0
They're always in those airducts, so many films, yet no one ever rips their knees on sheet-metal screws!
They're always in those airducts, so many films, yet no one ever rips their knees on sheet-metal screws!
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Come on out to the coast... we'll follow the noble eightfold path... have a few laughs...
Now I know what naan fels like!
Come on out to the coast... we'll follow the noble eightfold path... have a few laughs...
Now I know what naan fels like!
unread
+0 -0
Comment left by unread ignored.
Comment left by unread ignored.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man i saw that on Albino such a long time ago...
i think like back when i first got 28.8
man i saw that on Albino such a long time ago...
i think like back when i first got 28.8
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
also, your name's gonna give some of us hella problems.
also, your name's gonna give some of us hella problems.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Yeah. Is that the same guy who was using "chubbied" last week?
Assetbar needs some naming rules, y'all.
Yeah. Is that the same guy who was using "chubbied" last week?
Assetbar needs some naming rules, y'all.
wingspan
+0 -0
AIU is learning. Yesterday he used the word 'un-read' several times in a regular post and realized the potential for annoyance, so he created this account and will presumably post under it quite a bit until it is added to the ignore list.
AIU is learning. Yesterday he used the word 'un-read' several times in a regular post and realized the potential for annoyance, so he created this account and will presumably post under it quite a bit until it is added to the ignore list.
unreadd
+0 -0
Comment left by unreadd ignored.
Comment left by unreadd ignored.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
OK I can't contain myself any longer. As a relatively new lister would some-one please explain who or what AIU is?
OK I can't contain myself any longer. As a relatively new lister would some-one please explain who or what AIU is?
granularsilica
+0 -0
AIU? Where to begin. The Mother of all Trolls. Creates accounts just to troll himself, methinks. Safeguards were added to Assetbar so we could lame him out of existence. He apologizes, then sins again. This latest "unread" prank is typical, gonna screw with Assetbarrista users until we lame it away.
AIU? Where to begin. The Mother of all Trolls. Creates accounts just to troll himself, methinks. Safeguards were added to Assetbar so we could lame him out of existence. He apologizes, then sins again. This latest "unread" prank is typical, gonna screw with Assetbarrista users until we lame it away.
aiuunveiling
+0 -0
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
aiuunveiling
+0 -0
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
aiuunveiling
+0 -0
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
a1readyinuse
+0 -0
Hi friends :)
I also have hugely inflated sense of self-importance. I seem oblivious to the fact that there's been a guy like me on every internet forum since Compuserve was an industry leader. :(
Still, I did sum up achilleselbow in a pretty funny way. You gotta give me that.
Hi friends :)
I also have hugely inflated sense of self-importance. I seem oblivious to the fact that there's been a guy like me on every internet forum since Compuserve was an industry leader. :(
Still, I did sum up achilleselbow in a pretty funny way. You gotta give me that.
aiuunveiling
+0 -0
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
Comment left by aiuunveiling ignored.
daedala_x
+0 -0
i just realized that your posts are much more entertaining when read in the voice of The Monarch.
i just realized that your posts are much more entertaining when read in the voice of The Monarch.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Compuserve! Hah, I still have an account!
Compuserve! Hah, I still have an account!
stereo
+0 -0
It's funny, AIU's only account I didn't ignore is the original, but he never posts from it anymore.
It's funny, AIU's only account I didn't ignore is the original, but he never posts from it anymore.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I'd agree with most of your potted history, from what I remember AIU seemed a tedious character, however I must take issue with your use of the ubiquitous trope about assetbar degnerating into "ignorant mix of high school kids with lesbianish avatars". The whole "This place used to be cool till all the N00bs showed up" narrative is as old as the internet itself and has the added effect of stimulating the frustrating self-mythologising tendencies any online community devoted to an obscure pass-time is prone to. Once an online group starts to construct its own (often absurd) backstory it sacrifices a chance to transcend internet douchebaggery.
But It's good your informing newer members about what AIU was, as some fictional character said in the 80's
"Knowing is half the battle".
I'd agree with most of your potted history, from what I remember AIU seemed a tedious character, however I must take issue with your use of the ubiquitous trope about assetbar degnerating into "ignorant mix of high school kids with lesbianish avatars". The whole "This place used to be cool till all the N00bs showed up" narrative is as old as the internet itself and has the added effect of stimulating the frustrating self-mythologising tendencies any online community devoted to an obscure pass-time is prone to. Once an online group starts to construct its own (often absurd) backstory it sacrifices a chance to transcend internet douchebaggery.
But It's good your informing newer members about what AIU was, as some fictional character said in the 80's
"Knowing is half the battle".
belgand
+0 -0
True, but there was definitely a time when comments moved from about 80 to over 400 on average. I'm not saying it meant the down-turn of the community (as well I cannot, I've only been commenting regularly for about a year or so), but it's not entirely something that can be ignored.
This is true, but it is also false.
I've seen communities die before, Assetbar is still in middle school.
True, but there was definitely a time when comments moved from about 80 to over 400 on average. I'm not saying it meant the down-turn of the community (as well I cannot, I've only been commenting regularly for about a year or so), but it's not entirely something that can be ignored.
This is true, but it is also false.
I've seen communities die before, Assetbar is still in middle school.
maximus
+0 -0
That's two D's for a Double Dose of Pimpin'!
That's two D's for a Double Dose of Pimpin'!
aperson
+0 -0
Aw come on - just edit assetbarista's annotateUnread function, dude.
Aw come on - just edit assetbarista's annotateUnread function, dude.
salvar
+0 -0
Where's the towel and the baseballs?
Where's the towel and the baseballs?
8
+0 -0
in quadrandt A-8
in quadrandt A-8
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
okay, Vlad, step away from the keyboard.
okay, Vlad, step away from the keyboard.
boscostacy
+2 -0
Beef broke all the rules of Karma and made up a few of his own.
Beef broke all the rules of Karma and made up a few of his own.
pigeonthunk
+1 -0
I hope Ray is okay :(
I hope Ray is okay :(
srikamaraja
+3 -0
Ray is fine. He just has some unique problems as he now technically has two brains that cannot communicate with each other, as opposed to regular people, who have two brains that argue.
We will have great fun showing images to his left side and asking his faculties on the right to explain what he sees. The answers are universally interesting.
Ray is fine. He just has some unique problems as he now technically has two brains that cannot communicate with each other, as opposed to regular people, who have two brains that argue.
We will have great fun showing images to his left side and asking his faculties on the right to explain what he sees. The answers are universally interesting.
awksedperl
+0 -0
Chubbed for "two brains that argue."
Chubbed for "two brains that argue."
belgand
+1 -0
I look forward to Ray being more like Steve Martin, but I do not care for Lily Tomlin.
I look forward to Ray being more like Steve Martin, but I do not care for Lily Tomlin.
octafish
+0 -0
See I was thinking two brains...
If you like-a-me like I like-a-you
And we like-a-both the same,
I like-a-say, This very day,
I'd like-ta change your name;
'Cause I love-a-you and love-you a-true
And if you-a love-a me.
One live as two, two live as one,
Under the bamboo tree.
See I was thinking two brains...
If you like-a-me like I like-a-you
And we like-a-both the same,
I like-a-say, This very day,
I'd like-ta change your name;
'Cause I love-a-you and love-you a-true
And if you-a love-a me.
One live as two, two live as one,
Under the bamboo tree.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
I can't do it!
Can't do what?
I can't inject you with window cleaner.
I don't mind! What does it do anyway?
It makes the brain die last.
I don't mind!
I can't do it!
Can't do what?
I can't inject you with window cleaner.
I don't mind! What does it do anyway?
It makes the brain die last.
I don't mind!
thegoblins
+1 -0
I was going to say that only men have two brains that argue, then I started thinking about most of my interactions with other people from the age of thirteen onwards, and I quickly swallowed my words.
I was going to say that only men have two brains that argue, then I started thinking about most of my interactions with other people from the age of thirteen onwards, and I quickly swallowed my words.
groen
+1 -0
Is "Even on my one big day off" a slightly different color from Beef's other lines, or is this another example of My Laptop Has Some Problems?
Is "Even on my one big day off" a slightly different color from Beef's other lines, or is this another example of My Laptop Has Some Problems?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's kinda blurred, like he resized a raster of the text instead of making the text's font size smaller.
it's kinda blurred, like he resized a raster of the text instead of making the text's font size smaller.
wingspan
+0 -0
I realize Roast Beef is almost always naked, but somehow he looks extra nude upside down in the fetal position.
I realize Roast Beef is almost always naked, but somehow he looks extra nude upside down in the fetal position.
wazza
+1 -0
Like Lance Armstrong
[IMGS OFF]
Like Lance Armstrong
[IMGS OFF]
aperson
+0 -0
Huge Robot Ass!
Huge Robot Ass!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he looks just so unenthused in panel nine.
he looks just so unenthused in panel nine.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Is the fact that he's in an embryonic position significant? As he's been reborn?
Is the fact that he's in an embryonic position significant? As he's been reborn?
troy_convers
+0 -0
As IF he's been reborn?
Rackum Frackum.
As IF he's been reborn?
Rackum Frackum.
thegoblins
+1 -0
I'm going to be a bit of a dick about terms, for which I apologize in advance. The term normally used is "fetal position," mainly because the term "embryo" is only used as the embryo is developing the features (dorsal/ventral and rostral/caudal positioning, limbs, a head) that will eventually put it in a fetal position. That is, by the time the thing starts looking even semi-human, it's called a fetus.
I'm going to be a bit of a dick about terms, for which I apologize in advance. The term normally used is "fetal position," mainly because the term "embryo" is only used as the embryo is developing the features (dorsal/ventral and rostral/caudal positioning, limbs, a head) that will eventually put it in a fetal position. That is, by the time the thing starts looking even semi-human, it's called a fetus.
troy_convers
+0 -0
it's cool, I knew I buggered it up after I posted it.
More Rackum Frackum.
it's cool, I knew I buggered it up after I posted it.
More Rackum Frackum.
wazza
+0 -0
It is cool to know knowledge.
It is cool to know knowledge.
greatjob
+0 -0
Science!
Science!
lawdog
+0 -0
Such an eloquent tail, even recently deceased...
Such an eloquent tail, even recently deceased...
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
A Tail of Two Kitties?
A Tail of Two Kitties?
dcnblues
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
I feel like a lot of bitching has been happening here on Assetbar lately (more than usual), and this sweet lolcat humor is like aloe vera, soothing all abrasion.
I feel like a lot of bitching has been happening here on Assetbar lately (more than usual), and this sweet lolcat humor is like aloe vera, soothing all abrasion.
brochicha
+0 -0
This turn of events makes me happy!
This turn of events makes me happy!
honesttom
+0 -0
As predicted, those gears on the karma machine couldn't possibly work.
As predicted, those gears on the karma machine couldn't possibly work.
bvnichols
+0 -0
harpo
+0 -0
aperson
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
from...HISTORY!!
from...HISTORY!!
octafish
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]What do you mean they aren't taking the canapes? Did you do walking into the wind? Did you do the dead bird? ...change this get the little conolies on this one...
I did the dead bird.
Don't talk back, c'mon mime is money...
[IMGS OFF]What do you mean they aren't taking the canapes? Did you do walking into the wind? Did you do the dead bird? ...change this get the little conolies on this one...
I did the dead bird.
Don't talk back, c'mon mime is money...
puguglypress
+0 -0
And no Pollies in sight!
And no Pollies in sight!
completeblank
+0 -0
In many years of cool Achewood strips this might very well be the coolest. I almost got chills at that last panel.
In many years of cool Achewood strips this might very well be the coolest. I almost got chills at that last panel.
21echoes
+0 -0
The depressed cat fixes the death machine.
The depressed cat fixes the death machine.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It's a recycling bin. Please separate glass, plastic, paper, organics.
*****No Heavy Metals, Please*****
It's a recycling bin. Please separate glass, plastic, paper, organics.
*****No Heavy Metals, Please*****
nephilium
+0 -0
fuck you and your death machine!
fuck you and your death machine!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
they found nemo.
they found nemo.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
Yay! Beef not Dead!
Yay! Beef not Dead!
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
(I'm gonna take One Little Day Off to celebrate)
(I'm gonna take One Little Day Off to celebrate)
thegoblins
+0 -0
(Don't go towards the light)
(Don't go towards the light)
edwardstark
+0 -0
snap, ting!
snap, ting!
thegoblins
+0 -0
I would just like to point something out that has been bothering me immensely.
Dharma: a path of religion or righteousness. Does not necessarily dictate what happens to you in any way. You just do what you gotta do, man.
Karma: actions and deeds that shape your destiny. WHOOO SPOOKY STUFF.
Karma-phala: "fruits of karma." What happens to you.
Fuck you for confusing everyone in the West, Beatles. Fuck you.
I would just like to point something out that has been bothering me immensely.
Dharma: a path of religion or righteousness. Does not necessarily dictate what happens to you in any way. You just do what you gotta do, man.
Karma: actions and deeds that shape your destiny. WHOOO SPOOKY STUFF.
Karma-phala: "fruits of karma." What happens to you.
Fuck you for confusing everyone in the West, Beatles. Fuck you.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
of course.
of course.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Karma: when it comes down to it, no better than some tenets of Christianity and Catholicism saying that the bad stuff you cop is because you deserve it. Which really is a great way for the rich and healthy to feel superior and the poor and sick to feel like arseholes. Way to go religion .
Karma: when it comes down to it, no better than some tenets of Christianity and Catholicism saying that the bad stuff you cop is because you deserve it. Which really is a great way for the rich and healthy to feel superior and the poor and sick to feel like arseholes. Way to go religion .
octafish
+0 -0
Dharma Bums: I never read it.
Instant Karma: I only like Ringo.
Dharma Bums: I never read it.
Instant Karma: I only like Ringo.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
It can come in handy though, A friend of mine managed to blackmail the buddhist monastry he was working as a teacher at in india to give him more convenient holiday times, his terms were simple, either he got his vacation a week in advance, or he'd tell the church authorities about all the hookers and extortion the abbot was involved with.
What goes around comes around....
It can come in handy though, A friend of mine managed to blackmail the buddhist monastry he was working as a teacher at in india to give him more convenient holiday times, his terms were simple, either he got his vacation a week in advance, or he'd tell the church authorities about all the hookers and extortion the abbot was involved with.
What goes around comes around....
wazza
+0 -0
must have been a Tantric monastery...
our lecturer for Eastern Religions was telling us about a tantric monk he knew in Tibet who was just travelling around smoking marijuana which was really - I mean, according to some other people who smoked it - really strong.
That was exactly the way he said it in class, only catching himself just in time .
must have been a Tantric monastery...
our lecturer for Eastern Religions was telling us about a tantric monk he knew in Tibet who was just travelling around smoking marijuana which was really - I mean, according to some other people who smoked it - really strong.
That was exactly the way he said it in class, only catching himself just in time .
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Just shows no one has a patent on assholes, East or West.
Just shows no one has a patent on assholes, East or West.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Too bloody right, It's ridiculous to assume one land mass' inhabitants are predisposed to douchebag-ery. There's not a culture or society in the world that doesn't have its share of ne'er-do-wells, sociopaths and estate agents.
Too bloody right, It's ridiculous to assume one land mass' inhabitants are predisposed to douchebag-ery. There's not a culture or society in the world that doesn't have its share of ne'er-do-wells, sociopaths and estate agents.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
whoever the hell suggested such a thing should...
MEET A FIST.
whoever the hell suggested such a thing should...
MEET A FIST.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I had a professor say she would be a traitor to her generation if she never tried weed.
I had a professor say she would be a traitor to her generation if she never tried weed.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm not certain I would ever thereafter be able to trust a single thing such a person said.
I have never heard of peer pressure on such a scale before.
I'm not certain I would ever thereafter be able to trust a single thing such a person said.
I have never heard of peer pressure on such a scale before.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Tantric sex? "It's like holding a party and forgetting to send the invitations. You stay in all night and nobody comes."
I forget where I heard that.
Tantric sex? "It's like holding a party and forgetting to send the invitations. You stay in all night and nobody comes."
I forget where I heard that.
wazza
+0 -0
Tantric is where you just go crazy . You're a monk, only you don't care about anything . You eat meat, and have sex with prostitutes, and you do the hardest drugs you can find, and sometimes you even pound them with a hammer to make them harder, because you're that raw...
and then you turn all that close contact with impurity into spiritual power to bring you closer to enlightenment, which, if you're doing it right, you're not really in a hurry to get to.
Tantric is where you just go crazy . You're a monk, only you don't care about anything . You eat meat, and have sex with prostitutes, and you do the hardest drugs you can find, and sometimes you even pound them with a hammer to make them harder, because you're that raw...
and then you turn all that close contact with impurity into spiritual power to bring you closer to enlightenment, which, if you're doing it right, you're not really in a hurry to get to.
notcool
+0 -0
Uh...I really hate to be the first one to tell you this, but those people? They're doing Christianity wrong.
Uh...I really hate to be the first one to tell you this, but those people? They're doing Christianity wrong.
wazza
+0 -0
No True Scotsman! YAY!
No True Scotsman! YAY!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This I understand, but then many many many people are doing Christianity wrong.
This I understand, but then many many many people are doing Christianity wrong.
aperson
+0 -0
Thank goodness.
Thank goodness.
narenial
+0 -0
Okay, so if CH asked if he could borrow Beef's death . . .
Does this mean that Beef isn't dead? What's happened to CH? Why did Beef have to go through the ritual if it was meant for CH . . .
I think I've missed something.
Okay, so if CH asked if he could borrow Beef's death . . .
Does this mean that Beef isn't dead? What's happened to CH? Why did Beef have to go through the ritual if it was meant for CH . . .
I think I've missed something.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
prob cuz ur a stupid person but it's nbd lotsa peeps r so i wuldn't worry 2 mush abot
prob cuz ur a stupid person but it's nbd lotsa peeps r so i wuldn't worry 2 mush abot
narenial
+0 -0
gladdi, that's low even for you . . .
gladdi, that's low even for you . . .
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
dont u lecture me clowny clown
dont u lecture me clowny clown
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Welcome to glad's Diner , where the sass is always served fresh and steaming hot!
Today's Special is 5455!
Welcome to glad's Diner , where the sass is always served fresh and steaming hot!
Today's Special is 5455!
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure CH asked if he could use Beef's death, though. So he might have been using it like borrowing it, or using it to spruce up his performance art.
(I literally cannot wait for the next strip)
I'm pretty sure CH asked if he could use Beef's death, though. So he might have been using it like borrowing it, or using it to spruce up his performance art.
(I literally cannot wait for the next strip)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and when he can't find others, this happens...
[IMGS OFF]
and when he can't find others, this happens...
[IMGS OFF]
daidai
+6 -0
Beef is going to walk through that door and
"Bout f-f-fuckin' time somebody found me!"
"SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF"
Beef is going to walk through that door and
"Bout f-f-fuckin' time somebody found me!"
"SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF"
tuanomsoc
+0 -0
the kickplate on the door is why it's worth waiting however long onstad wants us to wait. that and octocephaly. the level of detail is just fantastic.
the kickplate on the door is why it's worth waiting however long onstad wants us to wait. that and octocephaly. the level of detail is just fantastic.
octafish
+0 -0
oto cephaly.
oto cephaly.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
AUTOCEPHALY. VERB. MEANS, -77//Y.Y.Y.WHAT DID YOU DO.
AUTOCEPHALY. VERB. MEANS, -77//Y.Y.Y.WHAT DID YOU DO.
maximus
+0 -0
otocephaly. noun. means, ears and head with the mouth
otocephaly. noun. means, ears and head with the mouth
drclown
+0 -0
I kept thinkin' this will be like the "suicide" in M.A.S.H. the movie.
I kept thinkin' this will be like the "suicide" in M.A.S.H. the movie.
octafish
+1 -0
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i love that theme song. ughhhh i can begin to tell you about it but can't articulate it.
i love that theme song. ughhhh i can begin to tell you about it but can't articulate it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
fans of dancing bird video yesterday may also enjoy this .
fans of dancing bird video yesterday may also enjoy this .
8
+0 -0
I don't get it
I don't get it
farqussus
+1 -0
Can someone who knows computer things make a website just for videos of cats so i can find things on youtube that aren't videos of cats?
Can someone who knows computer things make a website just for videos of cats so i can find things on youtube that aren't videos of cats?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
NO.
NO.
farqussus
+0 -0
FUCK YOU DO IT I KNOW YOU CAN
FUCK YOU DO IT I KNOW YOU CAN
aperson
+0 -0
Hey, am I just imagining that originally the karma machine was the same size in each panel, and it's been changed so the camera zooms in on it??
Hey, am I just imagining that originally the karma machine was the same size in each panel, and it's been changed so the camera zooms in on it??
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i think we just miss most of it 'cos we're zoomed. but what do i know.
i think we just miss most of it 'cos we're zoomed. but what do i know.
aperson
+0 -0
Zoomed... is that now young people vocabulary for something illicit? Why I never.
Zoomed... is that now young people vocabulary for something illicit? Why I never.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by firedmyass, Troy_Convers, Comrade_Tom)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by firedmyass, Troy_Convers, Comrade_Tom)
farqussus
+0 -0
i didn't.
i didn't.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
You just some whack-ass cracker wannabe MC, man. Your lines are tired. I'm just here to big up my main man Lil Lee, he tells it like it is, no joke RESPECT BLUD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjzB9v5kBZs&feature=related
You just some whack-ass cracker wannabe MC, man. Your lines are tired. I'm just here to big up my main man Lil Lee, he tells it like it is, no joke RESPECT BLUD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjzB9v5kBZs&feature=related
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
ur lil bro lil lee?
he is twat cum compare 2 me
listen close, listen carefully
2 dis 'whack-ass cracker MC
we abot 2 c how stupid
one humang bein' can be
**zippa, zip-zip zuuuuhhhpp. WICKY WICKY**
uh, ye, oh, hit me 1 tine
ur mang lil lee
speaks like hes eatin' chewed up cud
if he were a missle he'd be a dud
eerythin' hits teh mat wit a "THUD"
ur main man is complete shit rapper
NO JOKE, RESPECT BLUD
climbin' up 2 da mic
( i jus guessin', aint even click the lank )
had to shut off ma comp cuzza the stank
ur bro lil lee was sprayin'
like skunk juice outta his mouth
smelled lik northend of mule goin' south
in case u dunno that's teh anus
he whackin' me over teh head wit imagery
lik he was tryin' 2 brain us
again i say, i aint watched his vid
but mang if i were him i'd hid
cuz wat HIS main man had did
an that was step me in teh firs place
ur bro is a complete an udder waste
a throwaway blank o teh human race--
times like deez i wish ur main man was a cunt
on accounta how m fuckin' him
listen, teh rap games either sink or swim
an ur boys bulb is glowin' dim
an my patience is wearin' thin
so u go back u tell him
get teh fuck ot u wannabe lil kim
**OOOoooooo, SHIIIIT**
an das ma peace i dun spit
last ma devote 2 ur boys shit
so call ur homie on back
wit his jiggly ass dat looks like flan
u com back wit dat shit i'ma burn u down
like ghengis fuckin' khan
**Throw teh mic**
nah fuck teh fuck off wit ur utubes shit
ur lil bro lil lee?
he is twat cum compare 2 me
listen close, listen carefully
2 dis 'whack-ass cracker MC
we abot 2 c how stupid
one humang bein' can be
**zippa, zip-zip zuuuuhhhpp. WICKY WICKY**
uh, ye, oh, hit me 1 tine
ur mang lil lee
speaks like hes eatin' chewed up cud
if he were a missle he'd be a dud
eerythin' hits teh mat wit a "THUD"
ur main man is complete shit rapper
NO JOKE, RESPECT BLUD
climbin' up 2 da mic
( i jus guessin', aint even click the lank )
had to shut off ma comp cuzza the stank
ur bro lil lee was sprayin'
like skunk juice outta his mouth
smelled lik northend of mule goin' south
in case u dunno that's teh anus
he whackin' me over teh head wit imagery
lik he was tryin' 2 brain us
again i say, i aint watched his vid
but mang if i were him i'd hid
cuz wat HIS main man had did
an that was step me in teh firs place
ur bro is a complete an udder waste
a throwaway blank o teh human race--
times like deez i wish ur main man was a cunt
on accounta how m fuckin' him
listen, teh rap games either sink or swim
an ur boys bulb is glowin' dim
an my patience is wearin' thin
so u go back u tell him
get teh fuck ot u wannabe lil kim
**OOOoooooo, SHIIIIT**
an das ma peace i dun spit
last ma devote 2 ur boys shit
so call ur homie on back
wit his jiggly ass dat looks like flan
u com back wit dat shit i'ma burn u down
like ghengis fuckin' khan
**Throw teh mic**
nah fuck teh fuck off wit ur utubes shit
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
your little bro little lee?
he is a twat compared to me.
listen close, listen carefully
to this whack-ass cracker MC
we about to see how stupid
one human bein' can be
**zippa, zip-zip zuuuuhhhpp. WICKY WICKY**
uh, yeah, oh, hit me one time
your man, 'lil lee
speaks like he's eatin' chewed up cud
if he were a missle he'd be a dud
everythin' hits the mat wit a "THUD"
your main man is complete shit rapper
NO JOKE, RESPECT BLOOD
climbin' up to da mic
(i jus' guessin', ain't even click the lank)
had to shut off my comp 'cos of the stank
your bro 'lil lee was sprayin'
like skunk juice outta his mouth
smelled like north end of mule goin' south
in case you dunno that's the anus
he's whackin' me over the head wit' imagery
like he was tryin' to brain us
again i say, i ain't watched his vid
but man, if i were him i'd've hid
'cos of what HIS main man had did
an' that was step to me in the first place
your bro is a complete an utter waste
a throwaway blank 'o the human race--
times like these i wish your main man was a cunt
on account of how i'm fuckin' him
listen, the rap game's either sink or swim
an your boys bulb is glowin' dim
an' my patience is wearin' thin
so you go back you tell him
get the fuck out you wannabe 'lil kim
**OOOoooooo, SHIIIIT**
an' that's my piece i done spit
last my devote to your boy's shit
so call your homie on back
wit' his jiggly ass that looks like flan
you come back wit' dat shit i'ma burn you down
like ghengis fuckin' khan
**Throw the mic**
nah fuck the fuck off wit' your youtube shit
your little bro little lee?
he is a twat compared to me.
listen close, listen carefully
to this whack-ass cracker MC
we about to see how stupid
one human bein' can be
**zippa, zip-zip zuuuuhhhpp. WICKY WICKY**
uh, yeah, oh, hit me one time
your man, 'lil lee
speaks like he's eatin' chewed up cud
if he were a missle he'd be a dud
everythin' hits the mat wit a "THUD"
your main man is complete shit rapper
NO JOKE, RESPECT BLOOD
climbin' up to da mic
(i jus' guessin', ain't even click the lank)
had to shut off my comp 'cos of the stank
your bro 'lil lee was sprayin'
like skunk juice outta his mouth
smelled like north end of mule goin' south
in case you dunno that's the anus
he's whackin' me over the head wit' imagery
like he was tryin' to brain us
again i say, i ain't watched his vid
but man, if i were him i'd've hid
'cos of what HIS main man had did
an' that was step to me in the first place
your bro is a complete an utter waste
a throwaway blank 'o the human race--
times like these i wish your main man was a cunt
on account of how i'm fuckin' him
listen, the rap game's either sink or swim
an your boys bulb is glowin' dim
an' my patience is wearin' thin
so you go back you tell him
get the fuck out you wannabe 'lil kim
**OOOoooooo, SHIIIIT**
an' that's my piece i done spit
last my devote to your boy's shit
so call your homie on back
wit' his jiggly ass that looks like flan
you come back wit' dat shit i'ma burn you down
like ghengis fuckin' khan
**Throw the mic**
nah fuck the fuck off wit' your youtube shit
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I'm in no way related to Lil lee
Ain't no way he's related to me
I'm merely a fan of his work and what he got to say.
Guy weaves a tapestry of social decay.
Tell's it like it is day after day.
'cept for those videos where he calls other 10 year olds gay.
In an English Market town it's HARD
There ain't been no good UK rappers since the days of the BARD
So my main man Lee cuts through the bullshit, get's it back to the START
His rymes and bars on target like a DART,
Turn him away if you ain't got no HEART,
Just let the MC drop his lines, play his PART
It's tough on the streets, so you gotta stay real
Rap about juvenile delinquency, whatever you feel.
When the tea-shops are closed, kids run amok,
Drinkin white lightning under the village clock.
Stand up, stand up like defendent in the dock
Society don't understand you, they just shut the lock.
Keeping it real, Him a latchkey kid.
What matters is what he's doin, not what he did.
It's where he's going, not where he's been,
His balls aint dropped, gansta aint even a teen,
Aint no Dixon on this Dock Green.
Jus guns and knives and the OG hip-hop scene.
RESPECT
LAY IT DOWN
PEACE, MC Lil LEE Certified Merker.
I'm in no way related to Lil lee
Ain't no way he's related to me
I'm merely a fan of his work and what he got to say.
Guy weaves a tapestry of social decay.
Tell's it like it is day after day.
'cept for those videos where he calls other 10 year olds gay.
In an English Market town it's HARD
There ain't been no good UK rappers since the days of the BARD
So my main man Lee cuts through the bullshit, get's it back to the START
His rymes and bars on target like a DART,
Turn him away if you ain't got no HEART,
Just let the MC drop his lines, play his PART
It's tough on the streets, so you gotta stay real
Rap about juvenile delinquency, whatever you feel.
When the tea-shops are closed, kids run amok,
Drinkin white lightning under the village clock.
Stand up, stand up like defendent in the dock
Society don't understand you, they just shut the lock.
Keeping it real, Him a latchkey kid.
What matters is what he's doin, not what he did.
It's where he's going, not where he's been,
His balls aint dropped, gansta aint even a teen,
Aint no Dixon on this Dock Green.
Jus guns and knives and the OG hip-hop scene.
RESPECT
LAY IT DOWN
PEACE, MC Lil LEE Certified Merker.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
shittiest rap in all teh land
shit was stale and bland
here, lemme lend u a hand
an shows u how is done
jus' a li'l rappin' lesson
from teh number one
is truth, no lies need confessen
jus' bet get ur shit set 4 teh blessin'
dats gon' be our little rap session
step it off, back away from the mic
aint no need to stan' up for a tike
cuz his raps hol' less water den a broken dyke
after i wreck ur dude li'l lee
i get arrested
under suspicion that i molested,
ur preteen homie
i plead guilty
cuz i was makin' him blow-me
he said he had a big dick--
an i said "show me"
u sayin' lil lee spits truth
shit's more sugar-coated thena baby ruth
facts o teh streets be watered down in his rhyms
like vermuth
cant tell ib he lived the shit
or just watched it
from teh safty of his 2 car garage
or saw a homeless once--
as his momma pushed his baby carriage
bitch, li'l lee aint eer been out at nighttime
cloest he got was teh gloaming
bitch goes into teh hood gets charge for roaming
cuz he aint ever hussled--
or tussled
even once in his life
boy is obv. pampered.
ne'er seen an empty,
or downed a 40
e'er smoked dro
or banged a shorty
ne'er fought to eat
or walked teh street
like i do or have did
i mean how could he?
he's jus a kid
mmm, ye
shittiest rap in all teh land
shit was stale and bland
here, lemme lend u a hand
an shows u how is done
jus' a li'l rappin' lesson
from teh number one
is truth, no lies need confessen
jus' bet get ur shit set 4 teh blessin'
dats gon' be our little rap session
step it off, back away from the mic
aint no need to stan' up for a tike
cuz his raps hol' less water den a broken dyke
after i wreck ur dude li'l lee
i get arrested
under suspicion that i molested,
ur preteen homie
i plead guilty
cuz i was makin' him blow-me
he said he had a big dick--
an i said "show me"
u sayin' lil lee spits truth
shit's more sugar-coated thena baby ruth
facts o teh streets be watered down in his rhyms
like vermuth
cant tell ib he lived the shit
or just watched it
from teh safty of his 2 car garage
or saw a homeless once--
as his momma pushed his baby carriage
bitch, li'l lee aint eer been out at nighttime
cloest he got was teh gloaming
bitch goes into teh hood gets charge for roaming
cuz he aint ever hussled--
or tussled
even once in his life
boy is obv. pampered.
ne'er seen an empty,
or downed a 40
e'er smoked dro
or banged a shorty
ne'er fought to eat
or walked teh street
like i do or have did
i mean how could he?
he's jus a kid
mmm, ye
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i wrote a poem about a boat
'tis not my intention
to boast or even gloat
i mean only to bring this to your attention.
i sat and penned it,
ne'er moving position
or changin' where i sit
i do admit i adjusted
the couch's seat cushion
as i wrote what must be
teh very bestest poem
e'er to associate with the sea
silently in my home
i get the sense the point of this
seaman's poem to be sure,
will undoubtedly be missed.
and my work as a whole.
shall be likened to manure
you may ask why simply tell us,
about your boatsman rhyme
why not copy-paste it thus,
i hesitate to post it
'cos've what you did last time
lamin' my original tale
breakin' my spirits down
like a galley in a gale.
an forced this hard man
2 turn pale an' frown
but that's another story
i din't come to reopen old wounds
'cos that is another worry.
i stop now 'cos the anger inside
is swelling up in plumes.
i m sorry 4 make what reading does
an' i thank you for readin' so far
but i didn't post my pome because
there's too many critics on assetbar
thanks for reading comp. i'm glad you did
i wrote a poem about a boat
'tis not my intention
to boast or even gloat
i mean only to bring this to your attention.
i sat and penned it,
ne'er moving position
or changin' where i sit
i do admit i adjusted
the couch's seat cushion
as i wrote what must be
teh very bestest poem
e'er to associate with the sea
silently in my home
i get the sense the point of this
seaman's poem to be sure,
will undoubtedly be missed.
and my work as a whole.
shall be likened to manure
you may ask why simply tell us,
about your boatsman rhyme
why not copy-paste it thus,
i hesitate to post it
'cos've what you did last time
lamin' my original tale
breakin' my spirits down
like a galley in a gale.
an forced this hard man
2 turn pale an' frown
but that's another story
i din't come to reopen old wounds
'cos that is another worry.
i stop now 'cos the anger inside
is swelling up in plumes.
i m sorry 4 make what reading does
an' i thank you for readin' so far
but i didn't post my pome because
there's too many critics on assetbar
thanks for reading comp. i'm glad you did
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I like this lil pome! Too bad glad's post was lamed--but thanks for reposting.
I like this lil pome! Too bad glad's post was lamed--but thanks for reposting.
nutate
+0 -0
It's been a while since I laughed out loud at achewood, but this got me goin'.
It's been a while since I laughed out loud at achewood, but this got me goin'.
mensch
+1 -0
Are you sure you read the correct strip?
Are you sure you read the correct strip?
honesttom
+0 -0
The karma machine is actually just a regular machine that doesn't work very well. The exit door is just an exit. If you're a dude of conscience, like Beef, you'll try to fix the machine when it breaks and thus find the exit.
Also, Cartilage Head turns out to be Phillipe's mom in a mask.
The karma machine is actually just a regular machine that doesn't work very well. The exit door is just an exit. If you're a dude of conscience, like Beef, you'll try to fix the machine when it breaks and thus find the exit.
Also, Cartilage Head turns out to be Phillipe's mom in a mask.
spaceshib
+0 -0
that was so good that i almost cried
that was so good that i almost cried
granularsilica
+0 -0
Well kids, have a great three-day weekend. I'm off to see my 22-year-old niece get married in Minneapplesause. Play nice and untie Daidai if he turns purple again.
Well kids, have a great three-day weekend. I'm off to see my 22-year-old niece get married in Minneapplesause. Play nice and untie Daidai if he turns purple again.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
you, too...whoever.
you, too...whoever.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Hey, next time you're in my neck of the woods look me up!
Hey, next time you're in my neck of the woods look me up!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh baby you ain't want'a tell Pogo that.
Oh baby you ain't want'a tell Pogo that.
granularsilica
+0 -0
I've reformed. No more underage contact (and I'm talking 60).
I've reformed. No more underage contact (and I'm talking 60).
belgand
+0 -0
What happened? I thought you were living out our collective dream and dating a much younger woman. Don't kill my dreams of one day being a dirty old man before I'm even 30!
What happened? I thought you were living out our collective dream and dating a much younger woman. Don't kill my dreams of one day being a dirty old man before I'm even 30!
a twist!
Some people cheat death, Roast Beef tells it to get its act together.
I think the real problem here is Roast Beef has been wounded so many times it caused an integer overflow.
CH concocts elaborate events that you think are happening to you, when in fact they are happening for you.
CH: Agent of Karma.
Cartilage Head, what a guy!
Comment left by dilbert ignored.
Sigh.
THIS is what happens when we stop allowing school prayer.
Make the right decision this November.
Or one of these Novembers, anyway.
He is using a spoon,though. That man's hands are sparkling with cleanliness. Sparkling .