If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Small Times. A Look. Friday, January 15, 2010 • read strip Viewing 289 comments:

That is one hell of a circumstance.

Is it me or was Ray more apt at a younger age to recognize the causality of said circumstance so early on.

Yes, but it ultimately comes down to his narcissism. It seems the primary reason he offers RB a place to stay is to avoid the inconvenience of going to RB's house (e.g., getting smoke on his over-priced surfwear).

I think I'd give Ray a little more credit than that. Maybe that's the reason on the surface (I doubt it), but on some level Ray wants to free him.

i ain't see why not.

True fact: You legally don't have to pick up dog turds unless you put the dog in a headlock and force it to crap.

These were the laws as handed down by the nobles of Sparta.

But this isn't Sparta.

you mean to say this isnt sparta? this is madness!

This is Sparta? THIS IS MADNESS?!! *Kicks Leonidas*

*Leonidas stumbles, regains his balance, and brushes off his armor*

*Leonidas' dog takes two craps, rolls over, and dies*

*Leonidas eats his dog

Man I hate roleplay

I actually know somebody who claimed once he and his girlfriend roleplayed an abortionist/abortionee sex scenario.

I don't know if it's true. I doubt it. But holy shit.

I saw the word and thought "abolitionist" but knew it was "abortionist" but I really wanted it to be abolitionist. Just for the antebellum, John Brown, Fredrick Douglass imagery. Maybe he would hit her on the head with a shovel a la Harriet Tubman? Sounds kinky.

Time for the underground railroad to pull into your station!

Lemme see ya Missouri border baaaabe.

Pullin' a train on the underground railroad...

Lawks.

i'll rail YOUR underground railroad.
(but not really.)

Because it wasn't a literal railroad, right?

right?

Lemme slide north of your Mason-Dixon Line.

undo that Bible Belt and let's start spreadin' the Good Word.

im stealing that.

you just gotta say "c, captain galaxy nachos" afterwards. i call TM on that shit.

This sounds like something you could easily find in one of the good areas of Livejournal.

oh shit did I just say something positive about livejournal on Assetbar ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiit

I'm not sure how exactly you interpret referencing livejournal's propensity for harbouring ridiculous, poorly-written and horrifyingly pornographic fanfiction that could scarcely find a home anywhere else in the most moist, seedy undersides of the whole fucking internet a "something positive."

Well, I would rather read terrifying fanfiction than actually witness the things being described--or worse, read the boring, pretentious drivel that fills the rest of Livejournal.

"I pull out my 12 hackmaster!"

12! 12! DAMNI DAMNIT DAMNIT!


what the?

remember, assetbar dislikes plus signs.

Correct spelling: "dammit". KNOW YOUR CURSE WORDS

Maybe thats why i was slapped on my head by my parents everytime i said fukk.

Wait, what? Like, someone who supports abortion getting it on with someone that has been aborted ? This is probably (hopefully) not what you mean, but that's where my thoughts are now ineluctably drawn.

Seriously bumming out at the Internet for putting those things in my head this evening.

Holy cow, that is an awesome concept.

If you're internet sex role playing chances are you have some pent up stuff. People who know how to healthily get their stuff unpent don't end up in that situation.

I put on my robe and wizard hat....sexily

I initiate sexual relations with your robe and wizard hat.

You are now somewhat satisfied.
Wizard Hat has become Sticky Wizard Hat.
C:\_

Exits are seen leading to Bathroom, Motel Lobby, Comic Con Convention Center, out from Mother's Basement.

That actually sounds kind of potentially hot. All with her legs in the stirrups and the protesters watching them from outside.

You could be described as a sexual optimist.

*teabag*

that's so Halo.

oh shit

After the Persian envoy kicked it.

The persian envoy kicks the dead dog.

[IMGS OFF]

Leonidas and the other guy all driving in a car, the guy says "this is madness" and then they're both quiet for like six minutes and then Leonidas is like "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicks him out all badass

hilarious!

This... MADNESS...

[IMGS OFF]

Blast, I was about to say that I always preferred the Specials, but you had to get there with the vastly superior joke. Way to make me feel (even more) inadequate.

"Cops got no case" is also the new "QED".

Damn.

I, like many Americans, would assert that life would not have been so oppressive if it weren't for the up-in-my-face presence of so many Italian guys.

Yeah man, fuck people from Italy.

Quote:
Yeah man, fuck people from Italy.


I have. Its very nice (nothing better than a lapsed Catholic).

What about a prolapsed Catholic?

Spew!

I'm going to assume you're talking about a Catholic suffering from mitral valve prolapse, and quickly move on.

I guess I live in the worst place possible (NY).

[IMGS OFF]

Looks like New Hampshire got the wrong end of the immigrant stick.

BTW, who the fuck are those "Americans" in TN, WV, KY and AR?

We mostly operate meth labs on the weekends I guess. Or maybe it's the dude across the street who just sits on his front lawn revving up his four-wheeler at noon everyday, presumably because he's on house arrest and cannot leave his squalid property.

It's really more of a case that when the makes of the graph tried to attribute a majority of the people in those states to a common ancestry, they got a downright deluge of lawsuits from the attributed countries, defamation mostly.

Bourbon and Bill Clinton are the only good thing to come out of those four states, and at least bourbon helps a fellow forget that those states exist.

Um, don't forget about rock music and the entire global history thereof. I mean, if that's your thing. Maybe you like show tunes.

And there he goes again. I hate him so much.

He's either a half hour early or a half hour late (depending on whether you're in eastern or central time zone).

Yeah, I'm not sure why he decided to start late today. Maybe his parole officer came over and was unenthused about the idea of seeing some "totally bitchin' donuts."

Quote:
... who the fuck are those "Americans" in TN, WV, KY and AR?

I assume they moved there from another American state, therefore that's their origin.

I was going to say "mouth-breathing, coal-sucking po' folk" but that might mean "Amerindian"/ Native American? Although I was pretty sure Hawaii has less than 1% of pure Hawaiian folk left. And Appalachia is straight up white.

Here is the county-by-county breakdown:

Census-2000-Data


Raaaaad. I would expect there to be more Swedes/Norse up there in the Minnesota, Dakotas area, at least in a few counties. I would also have expected more Irish alongside Italian downstate NY; from my perspective, the city, LI and Westchester seem to be almost completely even Irish and Italian.

The thing with Minnesota and the Dakotas is that Swedes, Norwegians, Finns, Danes etc are counted individually. If you add them together as "Scandanavians" they are the plurality.

But even so, I'd imagine many more Swedes than Germans in at LEAST one county, enough to be named "Other."

It is my understanding, and with no malice intended here, that the majority of the people whose children would eventually become the worst of hillbilly trash that our country have ever seen were often Scottish and Irish immigrants.

This is true, the first immigrants to America after those Puritanical folk were Scots-Irish and they jammed themselves all up in that Cumberland Pass (oh baby).

I believe they're largely Scots-Irish. Fans of polling analysis site FiveThirtyEight.com may remember them from their supporting role in the 2008 Democratic primary; the number of voters who named their ancestry as "American" in this fashion was one of the most reliable predictors that a state would break for Clinton over Obama.

Damn, I really need to read ahead before saying anything.

I KNO, RITE?? it should either look like this
[IMGS OFF]

or like this
[IMGS OFF]

"Amurica" vs. The Great Melting-Pot.
srsly.

America: Your culture will be assimilated.

Man ju go representing Mexicans with maricon pink ju gonna have a fight on ju hands ju know what I'm sayin Esay?

I know you're thinking "How the hell does he write Mexican so well?"


Find out How! Just $10,000 sign up today!

Where'd all those fuckin' Germans come from?

from fuckin' Germans, I'd bet.

From around Fucking, Austria. It's near Wank Mountain.

Fricken*

I'll vouch for the actuality of Fucking, Austria. A friend of mine was there last year and got some great pictures of the "entering" and "leaving" signs

Ohohoho, this guy's pretending he has friends on the Internet! Ho hoooo! What shenanigans!

/waves cigar around while eyebrow-waggling in a goofy way

I don't have any friends on the internet. Only in real life.

In your face America. You may have achieved cultural hegemony over most of the world, with a military and economic might unseen in history, but you've got loads of Germans in your country, touching your stuff (whereas in Britain we content ourselves with having all the combined power of church and state, in the hands of one German family).

Kerle, wollt ihr denn ewig leben?

My first attempt to translate this gave me 'Guys, will you love me forever?'

Shit! Sorry, I meant to chubby this as well, 'cause it made me chuckle. I have a problem. :\

It's okay to have problem chubbying now and again. If your cursor seems to have diffuculty clicking, ask your doctor about AssetBax.

AssetBax is not right for everyone. Side effects may include over-friendliness, shortness of breath and desiring anal play. If you experience any of these symptpms, discontinue AssetBax and consult your physician. In the likely event you are under 18, get out of here.

(thanks, bro)

Nur Hunde will ewig leben

you stole my icon

Man -- you were gone for like years -- It was too cool to allow to lay fallow.

Sorry.

Sincerest form of flattery and all that . . .

so your username makes a lot of sense to me

I've considered stealing it myself. It's pretty special.

avatar stealing is a cool and edgy thing to do on the Inter Net

^WHO STOLE AN AVATAR? THIS GUY DID

FUCK THIS GUY!


I will not pay $10,000 to spell "ese" as "Esay." But try what I did. Only 10K up front.

Man, spelling quibbles generally don't cost 10 large. I think you might be getting ripped off. Hit me up on private messages, I know a guy who could get you an unlimited supply of premium grammar snark for 3-4k.

I hate guidos and overly proud Italian-Americans but damned if that isn't pretty cool (being from New York).

Overly proud anything is annoying.

KISS ME I'M IRISH.

KISS MY ASS I'M ALSO IRISH FUCK YOU what

as long as you dont smoke....

WHITE PRIDE WORLDWIDE

Your avitar makes me 'hear' everything you write with an Indian accent. Namasde!
MI/ke.

SAFED GARV SAB DUNIYA HAI

Attention sleeper Connectico-Hibernians: continue reproductive hegemony programme as planned.

Apparently, Hawaii is populated by nobody of any particular ancestry.

avenuehebrew -- A young Jack Nicholson?

Oh how you kids whine.
In the apartment my old man grew up in the '30's in the Bronx, there was this tough Italian thug lived upstairs, Jake.
One day it's in the news Italy has invaded Ethiopia, so what does Jake do? He goes around the neighborhood beating up every black kid he finds. Italian pride.

About 25 years ago, this movie comes out by Martin Scorcese starring Robert DeNiro. It's a fight movie, my dad's always been a fan.

My sister's nagging on to my dad about going to see it.
"Who's it about?"
"Jake, um, LaMotta?"
"That bum? NO way am I gonna see a movie about him!"

Then he tells the anecdote about young Jake that Scorsese somehow didn't manage to put in the film.
The little brother, played by Joe Pesci? Him and my dad couldn't stand each other.

Roast Beef has been through some serious shit.

I see what you did there.

Hey Beef, I stepped in dog shit!

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!

Maybe past incidences like these are why Beef faints when he steps in dogshit now.

I like my cereal to have extra organic content. We are carbon-based life forms after all.

Do you think it is rad to be addicted to
nicotine-flavored Captain Crunch, randyleepublic?


[IMGS OFF]

did he smoke so much that he shot up the cereal box

Probably. However, those are hastily shopped models of the nicotine molecule. Interesting that they also look like bullet holes.
Coincidence?
You be the judge.

The Cap'n escapes another (two) brush(es) with death

"BULLETS stays crunchy... even in milk

"

Mmmmmm. Cap'n Cruch 'n Copper-clad Cop-Killers in Milk!

Crunch.
Jesus

C'MANDER CRISP!

[IMGS OFF]

He? She? Heshe? Who cares?

He is Quentin Crisp.

Quentin Not-So-Crisp:
[IMGS OFF]

Quentin for Crips
[IMGS OFF]

Look at his face. The man can't even walk down the street without thinking about someone dying horribly. I respect that.

There's one man I always have a chubby for.

Whoa wait.

Even in milk?

like that SNL parody of a cracklin oat bran commercial. its fortified with ecstasy and will ferrell turns into a a faggy raver-dude.

I wonder if at some point Onstad looked up and thought to himself, "Heh, I'm drawing dog shit and getting paid to do so."

He got creative too. Thems some long shits.

Soon he may also be paid to sell dog shit merch.

Poop on THESE nuts?

As an Italian-American I don't have much to say because my mother remains married to my father and we don't let our dog out in the yard to shit.

Princes and philosophers defecate

Sometimes even the president of the Yoo-nited States must stand NAY-ked.

I have no idea how your statement relates to my previous post, if I may be honest.

to be honest - neither do I. Fuck you assetbar.

Word. Straight up FUCK that shit.

You have some kind of dog-litter box?

No, we walk her and clean up after her like responsible pet owners. HUGE slam on non-pet-walking-owners out of nowhere!

So you don't let your dog out into the garden at all? How often do you walk her? Even if her bowels are regular as clockwork she still has to piss multiple times a day I assume, unless you purposely dehydrate her, which doesn't sound like responsible pet ownership at all. Anyway, why is it easier to clear up after your dog on a walk than in your own garden? Your story is full of holes.

We don't stop her when she shits but we don't actively promote yard-shitting, and as a consequence she doesn't shit outside with the frequency of other dogs whose owners don't walk them. She knows the leash means walky times and that's when you shit. She has pretty regular bowels, even for being 11 years old. And as a result of being 11, she's known that for 11 goddamn years she will get walked three times a day. So back da fuck UP bitch, don't question my family or dog or dog-walking methods because we got this shit down. Let your dog piss and shit in the hydrangeas; my dog has some motherfucking class.

As for ease 1) you're there, you have the bag, it's easier 2) she gets walked down the street, and it's easier to pick up shit with a bag on concrete than with a pooper-scooper on grass. This cannot be disputed. You have a dog, you better get used to getting pretty close to shit.

You certainly seem to have a lot of anger around this issue. You are, however, right to imply that my dog lacks class. All this autumn she was eating windfall plums, which wrought havoc on her carnivorous bowels, before picking out and chewing the plum stones out of her own loose shit. She is a pitbull cross, and generally a creature of low upbringing and crass demeanor. I like that we have devoted a small corner of assetbar to discuss dog shit. I've always thought that having a dog is a bit like having a baby, in that you suddenly find yourself intimately involved with another creatures defecatory habits.

I'm the opposite of nearly every Achewood character (and seemingly Onstad) in that I love most dogs without much discrimination or reason, and my dog tops the list. It's one of a few things I'm probably overly sentimental about. The portrait of the mushy dog owner, that's me no doubt. And I ain't care what the Assetbarbarian cynics think about it.

Onstad has dropped numerous clues that he is thoroughly anti-dog. What I'm wondering is... why? Perhaps a traumatic early experience?

I don't know, and to add to the confusion as far as I know he has or has had in the recent past at least two, one being a dachshund named something like Daisy. Possibly his wife's. But I don't know.

He is anti-dog because he owns dogs.

That's no answer because I've already extolled the virtues of dogownership.

Has he even once mentioned his dogs favorably?

I figure the dauchsunds eating a hamburger in "Worst Song Played On Uglies Guitar" are his, or his wife's or whatever... and I can't think of a single favorable reference to ANY dogs. Consider:

Dogs are not allowed in the Underground.

The "Magrauex Dog" (sp? It's late and I don't feel like checking) is a harbinger of heinous misfortune

"That is mega nasty. That is dog shit."


Well dog shit is dog shit, no matter how small. Dog shit is almost common enough to be taken as a non-dog related insult but not common enough to be funny.

No but is Chris Onstad representative of all dog owners everywhere?

This is the internet and it is not OK to love dogs. If you are into tentacle porn, fine, but you can't love dogs.

I figured as much. Welp, best be moseying on.

::Loads up truck, heads west. Directed by John Ford::

It is only okay to love dogs on the internet if they are [url="https://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink"]puppies that came out of Pavel Chekov's ass.[/url]

(It's in there somewhere. I am not going back in to find the direct link. Don't make me.)

I'm not clicking copy pasting that.

Oh, Assetbar. I always thought this was the kind of thing that only happens to someone else.

I guess we're all "someone else" to someone else.

Motherfucker you just cold verbatim quoted a hardcore Calvin and Hobbes arc.

I love you.

Oh my god you guys nice-on-water thinks I'm cool oh my god this is so great

*shrug*

You have no idea. I realized what that was and I swelled to twice my size with admiration. And then reread the whole "Calvin's House Gets Robbed" storyline in my head.

[dumb personal ramble]
I always feel really anxious about posting on Assetbar because there's so many super-clever people here so I try really hard to not try too hard to make references and someone noticed one and this made my day.
[/dumb personal ramble]

I treat it like a game. If someone picks up on it, kudos to them. If not, I'm secretly/ashamedly proud.

My main problem here is that I wrote the book on rewriting and then deleting the book.

So...does this book exist?

Does the pope drop a deuce in a wooden room?

Probably not since Vatican II, I bet.

That sounds about right, actually.

Does this change the reality of your book?

Is anyone else seeing this exchange as the chicken replying "bruk" to Roast Beef's furious stare over and over again?

It's really entertaining.

i can see
...
how you could think that.

(i'm sorry, that was terrible.)

My dog has learned to ring a bell we have hanging by the back door (for just that purpose) when he has to go. It is is only redeeming quality.

Does nice-on-water allow his dog to get nice on water? hatstand investigates at 11.

I'll be the one with the pixelized face and masked voice.

There will even be a call-in portion of the show so that the viewers at home can yell at you.

So I heard. I tried to get that out of the contract but no go.

I am totally on board with this. My people will call your people. Are we planning to go down a sort of gritty Donal MacIntyre type vibe for this, or a bit more of a glossy Panorama angle? Nice-on-water, would you be prepared to come into our studio while we do a live dog hydration test? (You have to imagine the dog suspended in a large harness as all sorts of machines and sensors whir and bus around her. She will be kept distracted with a television screen showing images of other dogs. The tension on nice-on-water's face visibly escalates as the machines calibrate their data in the form of a snazzy on screen graphic.)

I can't...I don't think I can do this. You can have a handheld follow me out the studio and onto the street but that's where it ends. I can rub my face and mutter to myself a bit too, I suppose.

Nice-on-water, are you afraid of the truth ?

Usually, yes. Almost always. I'm remarkably consistent in that way.

Fucking brilliant! Onstad is back on his game.

shh

Think, Beef! What would Jello Biafra do? Jello Biafra wouldn't shovel up no dog pickles for some fat Italian bastard! Jello Biafra would record a 75 minute spoken-word album deconstructing every aspect of his exisitence!

HIS EXISITENCE, BEEF

What is this ecksysittence you speak of?

[IMGS OFF]

I would posit that Ray's actual reasons for not wanting to go shit-wading is the fancy footwear he's got on. Alternatively, the painful sensitivity of his awful foot-swellings.

nah man ray had a Philosophy from day 1

to meow or not to meow, people? shit be good on this fine day.

My dog would break into my neighbour's garden so she could exclusively take her shits there.

I'm no vet, but based on those shits, Mikey C's dogs do not have the best intestinal health. Or they eat Kibbles n Bits.

I went to high school with a kid named Kibbles n Bits. Well, not to his face.

First comment. .

you didn't go to school to his face?

I went to high school with a kid named Mike Castelli. Honest to god.

First comment post in more than a year.

well it's been a long wait, but it was worth it.

Blew my mind.

One of my mom's boyfriends had a red El Camino and would secretly pay me to stay out of the house. If none of my friends were home, I would wander the woods for $2 an hour.

But my Circumstances were not nearly as damaging as Beef's. Also, I did not have Unfortunate Hair%u2122.

Mike Castelli lacks the swarthiness of all the Italians I know. He also lacks the quintessential chest hair which gently nestles his crucifix. Yes, I am aware he is a cat and has chest hair by default, but I'm talking the kind that's long, curly and black with a few tinges of grey every now and again.

News flash: There are blond, blue-eyed Italians too! My best pal Ardito is one.

Well look at the GENIUS who has a FRIEND!

Since this is from Ray's perspective, I find it odd that we are treated to a visualisation of a nicotine molecule. That definitely seems more like a thing you'd get from the guy considering tattooing Na-Cl on his arm.

indeed.

my dad's mad at me cuz he got mad at me. what a crazy mixed up worl'... g'd.

Rusty.

Man, that is nasty! That is mega nasty dog shit, man!

We mostly operate meth labs on the weekends I guess. Or maybe it's the dude across the street who just sits on his front lawn revving up his four-wheeler at noon everyday, presumably because he's on house arrest and cannot leave his squalid property.

Like one of three times that I decide to leave a comment and I go and fuck up real bad.

chubbied for schadenfreude

Chubbied because I thought the rope around your avatar's waist was a beaker the first time I saw it and I thought it was some kind of edu-tainment SCIENCE WIZARD and it made me laugh and think that it would be really funny if Bill Nye posted on AssetBar. Then I thought it would be funny to hear about Bill Nye in a huge scandal, like he bled out like thirty kids and left them in a greenhouse or something. Or like, he went to a club in Vegas and made it rain on a bouncer or something. All with a gold chain that says "science bought this bling" and grills made of a new alloy he invented

Sounds more like Beakman than Nye.

Hey, look, Mike Castelli's head is novel. Usually they are recycled:
[IMGS OFF]

Sir this is not a case of cephalorecyclatory laziness, as those cambrian-cats are blood-related.

Okay, look at the GOF and the naked guys fighting in the hot tub. Heads is recycled in the main.

Note the detail in Mike's rendering: the curly hair (odd for an Italian, I would wager); the crow's feet, other detail on the eyes. Mike's a one of a kind kinda dude. The name, however, is pretty recycled.

you'd lose that wager, I'd bet.


[IMGS OFF]

I'd make another wager and say that it's not extremely common.

Look at the jaws. There's like two or three main heads there with some hair and eye-differences added.

[IMGS OFF]

Wave it at anything that slithers.

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig."

Dig?

Those that come in through the door
Those that come in through the window
----
Those who have a rope around their neck
Those who do the cutting
----
Those who have friends
Those who are lonely...like Tuco

like Tuco

You know it's from ROTLA, not Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cattivo .

I know how fond of puns and shit you are so I'm really wary to interpret this as a real question, lest the joke goes over my head, but no guts no glory, so let me respond with: no, it's from The Good The Bad and the Ugly; Blondie says it at the end to Tuco.

Oh, you're referring to the picture, and you're talking to miaou. Apologies.

Oh, I had no idea where your picture came from; although I should have clicked at the sight of ze distinctive hat...

You ever going to get around to throwing me the Idol?
(Something from Rebel Yell or before, please)

shits happen

I want a small times t-shirt, and I'd pay for it.

I'd get it if it included "Knuckleheads Since."

The idea of making sure "power is actual" is a damn raw philosophy to have. Basically maintain this and you're good. Also RAW.

Raw from getting whopped up the side of the head for constantly challenging actual power, that is.

I don't think that's what that means.

not what it means, but thats what happens.

Ray is possessed of a remarkable inability to See Why Not. It is an affliction of many such great men.

[IMGS OFF]

Roast Beef can muster enough excitement for excalamation, but not quite enough to colour them anything more than a dull grey. Until there's dog shit involved.

Similar to how his pupils respond to a reenactment of Cheers.

I'll probably get lamed for this, but here it is. I started my own webcomic last year, and am feeling around for ways to promote it. Since you guys are basically this large group of people with good taste in webcomics, it occurred to me to share it here. If you would like to check it out, it's:

www.classof99comics.com

I would have lamed you but instead I thought your comic was hilarious, so I chubbied you.

I'll pay you to not promote it.

If you imagine these characters as stuffed animals it's a whole lot like very early Achewood, the influence is really apparent. It's a pretty decent strip actually, I'll probably read some more later, a step above the average crap webcomic for sure. It's gonna be tough to get people to look at it though, I mean it's called "Class of 99" and it's about a bunch of twenty-something slackers who hang out, it's on the internet and it uses Achewood-style humor. I have a tough time seeing that standing out very much. (Thank you for not making it about gamers, though.)

Having done webcomics myself, my advice to you is don't expect a whole lot out of it. You'll gain an appreciation of other comics that you read, and you'll enjoy the rush that comes with putting a joke together, but that's about it.

In any case, chubbied so this will hopefully turn green and give you a few hits before this gets lamed out of existence.

I sincerely appreciate all that blunt feedback, and the assessment that it's "pretty decent." Except.... I'm not sure how you arrived at my characters being slackers. I mean, really? "Slackers?" Is that term even relevant anymore?

I get the idea that maybe your own experience creating a webcomic let you down. Your advice is very cynical. I'm not doing this comic this to make money, rest assured... but I've already found it to be a thoroughly rewarding endeavor, for many reasons - just one of which is knowing I've made some person in, like, Wisconsin laugh about some ridiculous thing I drew.

Hey, I'm in Wisconsin, which does look like a face (for those who don't go there, he did a strip about states that look like faces in profile).

Great comic, really fresh approach to life. Really like Mo Stoned. Keep 'em comin'.

I am a bit of a sucker for those mice. "I feel like I could fuckin do ANYTHING" lol

Wow, thanks you guys!

It seems pretty decent so far.

I giggled, and I seldom giggle. Adding this to Google Reader.

Ray knows there ain't nothin worse than a stink Stussy.

Your stinkstuss puts a hurt on my nose.

Can you rinse it off, do you suppose?

Wow, that last panel is so beautiful. What an interesting way to draw flow-

Oh.
EEEEEEWWWWW

Wait just a fuckin' second -- Are you tellin' me that CATS have pet DOGS !?

That's bullshit -- I think Onstad forgot his premise.

It's like in a film where everyone speaks English although they are in medieval France or somewhere. The Achewood cats actually keep pet voles, but Onstad calls them dogs because that would be the human equivalent. It's like when they talk about burritos, but they're actually eating little bits of sparrow mixed with leaf mould.

You're thinking of Redwall, actually.

eh, wot

Flippin' bally wot.

I lived next to a dude like Castelli back in the day. 'cept that instead of a large backyard, his dog would defecate in the small patio of his townhouse. It was horrible in the summer -- I don't know that words can describe it.

hell of dog turds roasting in the sun, all causing malodorous clouds of dog-ass smell.

A concrete serving platter of raw dogshit, suitably aged and stanky.

remids me of joke:

wat is diff 'tween balk mang n dog shit? lol dog shit eventally turns white n stops stinkin'. lol

and it came from a DOG!! lolol

haha NICE

I've noticed that now that I can't rate the strips, I don't think of them in terms of "3, 4, 5" anymore and don't try to classify them as much in terms of "is this better/worse than the previous strip". I wonder if this feature was deactivated on purpose so we'd get more into the story instead of constantly quantifying every little section of it

[IMGS OFF]

This appears to be completely a thing.

mike castelli is perfect. his lazy eyes from not giving even half of a fuck. great.

So seriously, what the hell is a "stussy" ?

I was gonna assume that you were too young to remember Stussy, but I see that you are apparently almost thirty so I now must assume that you are a Foreign.

I know it's been said before, but still; cats owning dogs? CRAY-ZEE!

Formaldehyde in the cerial?

Who the hell would turn down to be adopted by Ray's mom? Or Ray, even.

At first I thought Beef's mom was dating Kurt Vonnegut. Hi ho.

Man, I hate it when my Stüssy stinks.