motu
+31 -1
Is this dude secretly Philippe's dad? Because he seems like he's secretly Philippe's dad.
Is this dude secretly Philippe's dad? Because he seems like he's secretly Philippe's dad.
excusemesenator
+0 -0
But he's not an otter!
But he's not an otter!
granularsilica
+4 -0
Check the mouth -- this guy is an otter!
Check the mouth -- this guy is an otter!
lexsenthur
+1 -0
He HAS been preparing for probably more than 24 hours. Guy's a pro, he knows his charge.
He HAS been preparing for probably more than 24 hours. Guy's a pro, he knows his charge.
lateadopter
+8 -1
Look at the hinkiness of the last strip. The phone call at 5:30 am, the last-minute switch of cars, waiting outside ahead of the scheduled pick-up time. The next strip, or the one after, will show the van showing up at 21 Achewood with the real Steve DeNeuve, and Teodor completely flipping out. Ray and/or Roast Beef have to ride to the rescue somehow.
This guy is probably an otter with cat-ear toupee, and Philippe's mom is a liar. Fits the pattern.
Look at the hinkiness of the last strip. The phone call at 5:30 am, the last-minute switch of cars, waiting outside ahead of the scheduled pick-up time. The next strip, or the one after, will show the van showing up at 21 Achewood with the real Steve DeNeuve, and Teodor completely flipping out. Ray and/or Roast Beef have to ride to the rescue somehow.
This guy is probably an otter with cat-ear toupee, and Philippe's mom is a liar. Fits the pattern.
lonestar52
+0 -0
That's hella depressing.
That's hella depressing.
hoarday4
+0 -0
I think it's probably more like a hull instead of a toupee. Look at the size of his skull. It's mega sized.
I think it's probably more like a hull instead of a toupee. Look at the size of his skull. It's mega sized.
ratacattt
+2 -0
he has whatever is the opposite of a degenerative skull disease... his skull keeps growing and growing.. and the only way he can slow it down is by imbibing freshly liquidified child otters mixed with fresh fruit with the help of a giant juicer machine that he got off of the shopping channel.
he has whatever is the opposite of a degenerative skull disease... his skull keeps growing and growing.. and the only way he can slow it down is by imbibing freshly liquidified child otters mixed with fresh fruit with the help of a giant juicer machine that he got off of the shopping channel.
fresco
+0 -0
Oh man look at the first panel with the car, the exhaust fumes aren't trailing out behind, they're going straight up! That car is not moving, ladies and gentlemen. I think that fake Steve fellow is in the car making the call. I fear for this otter.
Oh man look at the first panel with the car, the exhaust fumes aren't trailing out behind, they're going straight up! That car is not moving, ladies and gentlemen. I think that fake Steve fellow is in the car making the call. I fear for this otter.
ratacattt
+1 -1
shit! I feel sorry for Teador is he got duped so easily. It wouldn't be so bad for him if he didn't care about Phillip so much. Onstad was not kind to Teador when he created him.
shit! I feel sorry for Teador is he got duped so easily. It wouldn't be so bad for him if he didn't care about Phillip so much. Onstad was not kind to Teador when he created him.
granularsilica
+0 -0
I musta missed that one.
I musta missed that one.
speccer
+1 -0
Assuming those are his ears about 25 degrees from the top of his head, he is not an otter.
Assuming those are his ears about 25 degrees from the top of his head, he is not an otter.
newspaperdrone
+11 -2
Nah, he's the guy that secretly lived in their attic for years. Every night he would exit the attic to lick Philippe's toys, then go back again. He thought it gave him sexual powers.
Nah, he's the guy that secretly lived in their attic for years. Every night he would exit the attic to lick Philippe's toys, then go back again. He thought it gave him sexual powers.
slackaholicus
+1 -0
Stop trying to ruin this moment. It is SPECIAL.
Stop trying to ruin this moment. It is SPECIAL.
varnish
+42 -0
Either that, or it is Nice Pete, and he is wearing Steve Deneuve.
These are rough chuckles.
Either that, or it is Nice Pete, and he is wearing Steve Deneuve.
These are rough chuckles.
wozzeck
+2 -0
Possibly also that is a Subaru Brat, wearing an AMC Eagle.
We all know what that would mean...
Possibly also that is a Subaru Brat, wearing an AMC Eagle.
We all know what that would mean...
snugelgguns
+2 -0
Something's up with the car. While technically introduced in 1979, the first model of AMC Eagle was the 1980 model. Wiki that shit.
Furthermore, and more importantly, Roadwaste Stop-free In-motion Slopless Re-percolating Convenience Tanks can only be safely attached to the right passenger seat, the very place where Phillipe's strapped rear sleeper cozy is located!
Finally, I'm sure I'm not the only one to notice that "Steve Deneuve is an anagram of "Vet Eve Ensued." I don't have to tell you what that means.
Something's up with the car. While technically introduced in 1979, the first model of AMC Eagle was the 1980 model. Wiki that shit.
Furthermore, and more importantly, Roadwaste Stop-free In-motion Slopless Re-percolating Convenience Tanks can only be safely attached to the right passenger seat, the very place where Phillipe's strapped rear sleeper cozy is located!
Finally, I'm sure I'm not the only one to notice that "Steve Deneuve is an anagram of "Vet Eve Ensued." I don't have to tell you what that means.
spectre
+0 -0
Yes, hella Hell.
Yes, hella Hell.
deus
+2 -0
NO! NOOO! i TRUST DENUVE I TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE!
NO! NOOO! i TRUST DENUVE I TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE!
spectre
+0 -0
Well, of course we trtust him with YOUR life. We don't care about you. We care about Phillipe.
Well, of course we trtust him with YOUR life. We don't care about you. We care about Phillipe.
belgand
+0 -0
Well, in all fairness, it did.
Well, in all fairness, it did.
linguine
+0 -0
I would like to know this as well
I would like to know this as well
silvereyes
+0 -0
I would like to know how a ropey afghan differs from the non-ropey variety.
I would like to know how a ropey afghan differs from the non-ropey variety.
mkb
+0 -0
Compare a cable knit sweater to the non-cable knit variety
Compare a cable knit sweater to the non-cable knit variety
silvereyes
+1 -0
Now I own a cable knit sweater... damn you Internet shopping!
Now I own a cable knit sweater... damn you Internet shopping!
scorpio_nadir
+12 -0
A ropey afghan is the guy with dreads under his turban.
A ropey afghan is the guy with dreads under his turban.
shineboxx
+0 -0
No, he's just that professional.
No, he's just that professional.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
this was my first guess.
this was my first guess.
intergalactic_
+0 -0
His last name is of the French variety. Could very well be.
His last name is of the French variety. Could very well be.
mangtastic
+0 -0
It could be spanish though.
It could be spanish though.
omegatron
+1 -0
He works for The Mafia. The Nice Mafia.
He works for The Mafia. The Nice Mafia.
deus
+2 -0
Here comes a special dad!
Here comes a special dad!
excusemesenator
+2 -0
I have a bad feeling about this...
I have a bad feeling about this...
jaminspoon
+9 -0
I don't understand. He has a 5 star rating on Yelp.
I don't understand. He has a 5 star rating on Yelp.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Steve Denueuve's other job is he is a secret agent for the Queen.
Steve Denueuve's other job is he is a secret agent for the Queen.
intergalactic_
+0 -0
I do too. Maybe I've been watching too many old action movies recently but there's something off about him.
I do too. Maybe I've been watching too many old action movies recently but there's something off about him.
never_die
+4 -0
DeNeuve's hair looks like one of those optical illusion double pictures. i see a penguin OR a sleeping monster (where the rest of DeNeuve's face comprises the monster's comforter).
DeNeuve's hair looks like one of those optical illusion double pictures. i see a penguin OR a sleeping monster (where the rest of DeNeuve's face comprises the monster's comforter).
sigmacoder
+1 -0
Oh man, I totally see the sleeping dragon. I SEE IT WITH ALL OF MY EYES.
Oh man, I totally see the sleeping dragon. I SEE IT WITH ALL OF MY EYES.
wingspan
+13 -0
Is Steve DeNeuve someone Philippe is safe with? It is not clear.
Is Steve DeNeuve someone Philippe is safe with? It is not clear.
jaminspoon
+1 -0
In time all will be revealed. Or also it might not be at all.
That is also something that is not clear.
In time all will be revealed. Or also it might not be at all.
That is also something that is not clear.
m3tanoia
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mockereo
+0 -0
please fill in this post with the appropriate hilarious image
please fill in this post with the appropriate hilarious image
jaminspoon
+0 -0
If I close my eyes and face the North Star with all my heart , I can almost see it.
If I close my eyes and face the North Star with all my heart , I can almost see it.
tifunkalicious
+1 -0
I have not seen a child containment device quite like the one phillipe is in
I have not seen a child containment device quite like the one phillipe is in
jaminspoon
+2 -0
That is because you are expected to build it yourself, akin to a rite of passage.
You are not a father until you have duct-taped your child for their own safety.
That is because you are expected to build it yourself, akin to a rite of passage.
You are not a father until you have duct-taped your child for their own safety.
maltese
+2 -0
so phillipe is a suicide baby? my. rough chuckles.
so phillipe is a suicide baby? my. rough chuckles.
crom
+0 -0
I feel at ease with Steve DeNeuve. I would like him to drive me places. He seems really mellow, like Nice Pete but without, y'know, the seething murderous rage beneath the surface.
I feel at ease with Steve DeNeuve. I would like him to drive me places. He seems really mellow, like Nice Pete but without, y'know, the seething murderous rage beneath the surface.
nagash
+3 -0
He has done a lot of study to make sure Phillipe feels good about this trip.
He has done a lot of study to make sure Phillipe feels good about this trip.
oldhusky
+1 -0
Steve DeNeuve pays attention
Steve DeNeuve pays attention
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Chub for PBF av. The Jefferson Airplane and the Perry Bible Fellowship: things we miss.
Chub for PBF av. The Jefferson Airplane and the Perry Bible Fellowship: things we miss.
titosmiley
+0 -0
I get the feeling this might not be just a simple return trip to Threadville...
I get the feeling this might not be just a simple return trip to Threadville...
jbgv
+6 -0
i'm happy with how quickly this story is turning into a weird david lynch film.
i'm happy with how quickly this story is turning into a weird david lynch film.
barrymorefm
+1 -0
i'm sad that steve deneuve looks like an unconfirmed mammal version of kevin costner in the bodyguard to me and probably only me.
i'm sad that steve deneuve looks like an unconfirmed mammal version of kevin costner in the bodyguard to me and probably only me.
mabel
+2 -0
i was thinking george kennedy in cool hand luke.
i was thinking george kennedy in cool hand luke.
zhankfor
+1 -0
As opposed to the other kind of David Lynch film.
As opposed to the other kind of David Lynch film.
belgand
+0 -0
All Achewood stories turn into either David Lynch or David Cronenberg stories. There is really no other way.
All Achewood stories turn into either David Lynch or David Cronenberg stories. There is really no other way.
fresco
+13 -0
Steve doesn't just transport the animal. He studies the animal's past life, and reminds them of good things so that the package gets to the location happy and eager to be there. Ain't nothing worse than a finnicky, scared animal in a new location. Steve DeNeuve knows this, because Steve DeNeuve is a PROFESSIONAL.
Steve doesn't just transport the animal. He studies the animal's past life, and reminds them of good things so that the package gets to the location happy and eager to be there. Ain't nothing worse than a finnicky, scared animal in a new location. Steve DeNeuve knows this, because Steve DeNeuve is a PROFESSIONAL.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
I PICKED THE WRONG FUCKING TIME TO GO ON HIATUS LET ME TELL YOU.
I PICKED THE WRONG FUCKING TIME TO GO ON HIATUS LET ME TELL YOU.
mattylite
+1 -0
Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
streever
+0 -0
Everything is OK as long as you picked up huffing paint.
Everything is OK as long as you picked up huffing paint.
belgand
+2 -0
I have some latex paint, can I use that instead?
"I was painting the garage and I wanted to know if latex would bond to stucco so I thought I'd do a 'search' for, oh, I don't know 'latex bondage'".
I have some latex paint, can I use that instead?
"I was painting the garage and I wanted to know if latex would bond to stucco so I thought I'd do a 'search' for, oh, I don't know 'latex bondage'".
smilebuddha
+0 -0
A primer on latex paint, eh?
A primer on latex paint, eh?
hyetal
+0 -0
Since this is Achewood, I assume that Steve will safely transport Philippe to his mother where he'll live in happiness and security for the rest of his days.
Or, we're being primed for some really weird shit to start happening.
Or continue happening.
Since this is Achewood, I assume that Steve will safely transport Philippe to his mother where he'll live in happiness and security for the rest of his days.
Or, we're being primed for some really weird shit to start happening.
Or continue happening.
sonofkong
+11 -0
I'm not sure what these feelings are, but boy am I feeling them, and hard .
I'm not sure what these feelings are, but boy am I feeling them, and hard .
jaminspoon
+2 -0
About the possible dangers and backstory of Steve DeNeuve, or seeing a 5 year-old otter bondage-locked into a plastic transport crate.
Your answer will carry gravity, so do not hesitate.
About the possible dangers and backstory of Steve DeNeuve, or seeing a 5 year-old otter bondage-locked into a plastic transport crate.
Your answer will carry gravity, so do not hesitate.
mockereo
+0 -0
reaction time is a factor, Leon.
reaction time is a factor, Leon.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
...which is what she said.
...which is what she said.
bill4935
+1 -0
I'm starting to have a bad feeling about this, Scoob old buddy.
I'm starting to have a bad feeling about this, Scoob old buddy.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
It is a thing to have sufficient firepower in your underwear.
It is a thing to have sufficient firepower in your underwear.
smallblackdog
+2 -0
That Roadkill is slowly coalescing.
That Roadkill is slowly coalescing.
jaminspoon
+0 -0
So is Steve DeNeuve.
So is Steve DeNeuve.
rude_mechanical
+0 -0
Thank Grud someone else sees it. I thought it was just me.
Thank Grud someone else sees it. I thought it was just me.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I believe that the final panel is a different set of roadkill. Or Trouble Man and No-No.
I believe that the final panel is a different set of roadkill. Or Trouble Man and No-No.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
and what are they building?
and what are they building?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the FUTURE.
the FUTURE.
streever
+0 -0
it's shrubbery
it's shrubbery
shelbydavis
+0 -0
A nice one, by the looks of it, but not too expensive.
A nice one, by the looks of it, but not too expensive.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Now where is that Super-Secret Ice Cream Shop?
Now where is that Super-Secret Ice Cream Shop?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Right where you left it Jeff
Right where you left it Jeff
belgand
+0 -0
At the same time he really did take him to an ice cream shop that was incredibly out of the way. He didn't get to known as Nice Pete by being a dick.
At the same time he really did take him to an ice cream shop that was incredibly out of the way. He didn't get to known as Nice Pete by being a dick.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I hope that Steve is a good man. I am beginning to trust him. But to trust someone with Phillippe... Well, there must be a reason Tacodor hired him.
I hope that Steve is a good man. I am beginning to trust him. But to trust someone with Phillippe... Well, there must be a reason Tacodor hired him.
philophobe
+5 -0
Somewhat inexplicably, I cannot help but imagine Philippe as Michael Douglas in The Game . If Steve DeNeuve turns out to be either a clown doll with a camera in his mouth, or Sean Penn, I will seriously lose my shit.
Somewhat inexplicably, I cannot help but imagine Philippe as Michael Douglas in The Game . If Steve DeNeuve turns out to be either a clown doll with a camera in his mouth, or Sean Penn, I will seriously lose my shit.
hamscout
+1 -0
Daniel Schorr all speaking directly to Philippe from the car radio...
Philippe confused when the cardboard stand-up of his mother won't hug him back...
Daniel Schorr all speaking directly to Philippe from the car radio...
Philippe confused when the cardboard stand-up of his mother won't hug him back...
shelbydavis
+1 -0
The pork chops Philippe imagines are, no doubt, without applesauce.
The pork chops Philippe imagines are, no doubt, without applesauce.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Applesauce!
Applesauce!
miaou
+0 -0
Break me off a piece of that!...
Break me off a piece of that!...
zootsutra
+0 -0
Kit Kat Bar!
Kit Kat Bar!
mockereo
+0 -0
OBJECTION!
OBJECTION!
mattylite
+1 -0
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mattylite
+1 -0
Well, it was worth a try. Just imagine Philippe with the porkchop and applesauce from that one strip, but turned into ASCII art by some crappy web-based ascii art generator.
Well, it was worth a try. Just imagine Philippe with the porkchop and applesauce from that one strip, but turned into ASCII art by some crappy web-based ascii art generator.
mattylite
+3 -0
Like this.
Like this.
speccer
+1 -0
Philippe:
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Philippe:
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Porkchop and applesauce:
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lateadopter
+0 -0
mattylite, I thought of this a while back, but could not do it. I chubbied you until my chubby was reduced to a nub that was no longer allowed to be friendly. That was only twice, I'm afraid.
I think the problem is that AssetBar eliminates all double spaces, so your white space is gone, and you are left with sludge of outline and texture characters on your left margin. Still life with, Philippe, pork chop, and high-G acceleration.
mattylite, I thought of this a while back, but could not do it. I chubbied you until my chubby was reduced to a nub that was no longer allowed to be friendly. That was only twice, I'm afraid.
I think the problem is that AssetBar eliminates all double spaces, so your white space is gone, and you are left with sludge of outline and texture characters on your left margin. Still life with, Philippe, pork chop, and high-G acceleration.
ratacattt
+0 -0
it's basically phillippe inside the juicer
it's basically phillippe inside the juicer
puguglypress
+0 -0
Oh man, and I thought
Oh man, and I thought
puguglypress
+1 -0
(that I was pressing "BBcode" instead of "post", apparently)
(that I was pressing "BBcode" instead of "post", apparently)
shinkusan
+0 -0
The computers are taking over. This proves it.
The computers are taking over. This proves it.
expellens
+1 -0
Steve DeNeuve seems to think very highly of himself. Where I come from, this is considered a dick thing to do.
Steve DeNeuve seems to think very highly of himself. Where I come from, this is considered a dick thing to do.
expellens
+0 -0
He's also dropping some major hints paternity wise to a 5 year old otter. This too is considered a dick move.
He's also dropping some major hints paternity wise to a 5 year old otter. This too is considered a dick move.
expellens
+0 -0
The implication being that a cat boned an otter 5 or so years ago.
The implication being that a cat boned an otter 5 or so years ago.
granularsilica
+0 -0
But Steve's not a cat. Check out the mouth, and why can't we see his hands (flippers) on the steering wheel?
But Steve's not a cat. Check out the mouth, and why can't we see his hands (flippers) on the steering wheel?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I'm relatively sure the two of them are in the back seat. There's something to the right of the Steve DeNeuve panels that looks like it might be the back of the front seat, and in some panels the speech bubbles (especially Philippe's) seem to be indicating the two rear seats. I am under the impression that Steve DeNeuve does not fill the position of driver on this journey, he is simply there to ensure the safety and comfort of the otter.
He probably has a gun somewhere within easy reach inside the car.
I'm relatively sure the two of them are in the back seat. There's something to the right of the Steve DeNeuve panels that looks like it might be the back of the front seat, and in some panels the speech bubbles (especially Philippe's) seem to be indicating the two rear seats. I am under the impression that Steve DeNeuve does not fill the position of driver on this journey, he is simply there to ensure the safety and comfort of the otter.
He probably has a gun somewhere within easy reach inside the car.
milesdonovan
+1 -0
Correct. From the previous comic: "Our driver is 2 blocks away with Mr. DeNeuve..."
Correct. From the previous comic: "Our driver is 2 blocks away with Mr. DeNeuve..."
ratacattt
+0 -2
well aren't you just special because you have an attention span.
well aren't you just special because you have an attention span.
carlyle
+0 -0
It's an increasingly rare thing today.
It's an increasingly rare thing today.
ratacattt
+0 -0
tell me about it. I have to take medication to even have half an attention span
tell me about it. I have to take medication to even have half an attention span
carlyle
+0 -0
Damn. I have to take meds just to focus it on school, but you need them to actually have one.
Damn. I have to take meds just to focus it on school, but you need them to actually have one.
streever
+0 -0
Steve is not an otter. Man, look at his ears. You really misjudged this. It's almost like that time you showed up at the dance with no underwear on.
(It was only a dream. OR WAS IT?
Steve is not an otter. Man, look at his ears. You really misjudged this. It's almost like that time you showed up at the dance with no underwear on.
(It was only a dream. OR WAS IT?
granularsilica
+0 -0
It was okay not having underear on -- until she aroused me!
It was okay not having underear on -- until she aroused me!
streever
+0 -0
Look at his ears, man. No Otter has ears like that.
You've completely misjudged the situation. Wow, this is embarrassing. It's like that time you showed up at school in your underwear. But that was only a dream, wasn't it?
WASN'T IT?
Look at his ears, man. No Otter has ears like that.
You've completely misjudged the situation. Wow, this is embarrassing. It's like that time you showed up at school in your underwear. But that was only a dream, wasn't it?
WASN'T IT?
streever
+0 -0
it wasn't.
it wasn't.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Haha, I always feel really embarrassed when that happens to me.
...I'm sorry, man.
Haha, I always feel really embarrassed when that happens to me.
...I'm sorry, man.
wjon
+0 -0
Phillipe is still in Ray mode. I don't like his necklace, it makes me wonder how it stays where it is, as the otter lacks a defined neck and shoulders.
Phillipe is still in Ray mode. I don't like his necklace, it makes me wonder how it stays where it is, as the otter lacks a defined neck and shoulders.
raticus
+0 -0
Someone figured it out the first time it showed up - it loops around the back of his ears and connects to the back of his glasses.
Someone figured it out the first time it showed up - it loops around the back of his ears and connects to the back of his glasses.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
It was conjecture at the time, now it is an observable fact.
It was conjecture at the time, now it is an observable fact.
wjon
+0 -0
I am full of shame that I did not know this.
I am full of shame that I did not know this.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Thanks for taking the shame for the rest of us know-nothings.
Thanks for taking the shame for the rest of us know-nothings.
wjon
+0 -0
And, yet, no chubbies.
And, yet, no chubbies.
ratacattt
+0 -0
the glasses are stapled to his skull
the glasses are stapled to his skull
belgand
+1 -0
Because you're viciously anti-Catholic. That's why.
Because you're viciously anti-Catholic. That's why.
juggler
+1 -0
I'm a tad concerned...
[IMGS OFF]
I'm a tad concerned...
[IMGS OFF]
juggler
+0 -1
Gosh darn it. This is what I meant to post: [url=https://imgur.com/BeYxC.jpg]Doesn't he look like Philip Seymour Hoffman from "Doubt?"[/img]
Gosh darn it. This is what I meant to post: [url=https://imgur.com/BeYxC.jpg]Doesn't he look like Philip Seymour Hoffman from "Doubt?"[/img]
juggler
+1 -0
You know what. NEVER MIND.
You know what. NEVER MIND.
miku224
+0 -0
I definitely see it. Good eye!
I definitely see it. Good eye!
belgand
+0 -0
And yet you're the one who makes me see things. Truly it is a perplexing universe.
And yet you're the one who makes me see things. Truly it is a perplexing universe.
wjon
+0 -0
I gave you a chubby. I also gave you a lame. This expresses my feelings on this subjects.
I gave you a chubby. I also gave you a lame. This expresses my feelings on this subjects.
jaminspoon
+0 -0
That is deep in the mains.
That is deep in the mains.
tyrannorocks
+0 -0
Wouldn't you get more firepower from a smaller set of underwear elastic? You would have to stretch the larger pair further to get the same snap. I know this is a quibbling point, but bear with me as I get out my charts and write my elastic underwear crossbow formulas on the chalkboard...
Wouldn't you get more firepower from a smaller set of underwear elastic? You would have to stretch the larger pair further to get the same snap. I know this is a quibbling point, but bear with me as I get out my charts and write my elastic underwear crossbow formulas on the chalkboard...
nher
+0 -0
No, you twist/roll the longer one to a thicker thingy and get more power.
No, you twist/roll the longer one to a thicker thingy and get more power.
belgand
+1 -0
More power DIRECTLY from the thingy.
More power DIRECTLY from the thingy.
yearofglad
+4 -0
I'm getting:
R=4((V*E*(dl^2))/(M*L^2*g))*sin(2*theta)
Where R is the range, V volume of the strap, E the young's modulus of elastic, dl the total stretch, L the length of underwear strap, M mass of crossbow bolt, theta the firing angle, and g the gravitational acceleration (on earth, or wherever Philippe happens to be). Using some rough estimates, here is a graph of Philippe's crossbow plotted as range vs distance pulled back (in meters):
https://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=4*((.01*.001*.15).001*10^9*(x%2F.25)^2%2F.01)%2F9.8 from 0 to .1
What a little warrior!
I'm getting:
R=4((V*E*(dl^2))/(M*L^2*g))*sin(2*theta)
Where R is the range, V volume of the strap, E the young's modulus of elastic, dl the total stretch, L the length of underwear strap, M mass of crossbow bolt, theta the firing angle, and g the gravitational acceleration (on earth, or wherever Philippe happens to be). Using some rough estimates, here is a graph of Philippe's crossbow plotted as range vs distance pulled back (in meters):
https://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=4*((.01*.001*.15).001*10^9*(x%2F.25)^2%2F.01)%2F9.8 from 0 to .1
What a little warrior!
mockereo
+0 -0
your avatar is absolutely appropriate
your avatar is absolutely appropriate
belgand
+0 -0
And combine with his username the implication is that Gladi is actually quite intelligent. Or at least skilled at analytical dynamics.
And combine with his username the implication is that Gladi is actually quite intelligent. Or at least skilled at analytical dynamics.
thinman
+1 -0
According to my reseach, Catherine DeNeuve and Steve McQueen were once featured in the same issue of "Film, Szinhaz, Muzsika"....
https://tinyurl.com/yfk2efk
....cleary this means that Steve DeNeuve must be a Communist.
I'm watching you, Steve DeNeuve. I'M WATCHING YOU!
According to my reseach, Catherine DeNeuve and Steve McQueen were once featured in the same issue of "Film, Szinhaz, Muzsika"....
https://tinyurl.com/yfk2efk
....cleary this means that Steve DeNeuve must be a Communist.
I'm watching you, Steve DeNeuve. I'M WATCHING YOU!
neonfreon
+9 -0
i feel bad because i've been home and i know the beige dinner plates with dark brown oak leaves and acorns painted around the edges aren't there anymore
i am mournful because i know there is no way to go back home, and that all you can do is make a new home for a new child
i know these truths so deeply that i can't believe it could be any different for phillipe the 5 year old otter
i'm also concerned that steve deneuve is really gary busey
i feel bad because i've been home and i know the beige dinner plates with dark brown oak leaves and acorns painted around the edges aren't there anymore
i am mournful because i know there is no way to go back home, and that all you can do is make a new home for a new child
i know these truths so deeply that i can't believe it could be any different for phillipe the 5 year old otter
i'm also concerned that steve deneuve is really gary busey
belgand
+0 -0
It's a good idea to be concerned that any man might actually be Gary Busey in disguise. That is the sort of thing he does.
The extra caution is worth the social awkwardness.
It's a good idea to be concerned that any man might actually be Gary Busey in disguise. That is the sort of thing he does.
The extra caution is worth the social awkwardness.
utv
+3 -0
Onstad just loves writing true professionals. Guys who know what the fuck is up.
Onstad just loves writing true professionals. Guys who know what the fuck is up.
belgand
+0 -0
Do I even need to dime-shop psychoanalyze that?
Do I even need to dime-shop psychoanalyze that?
yorkshiretea
+2 -0
Steve DeNeuve is voiced by Kyle MacLachan.
Steve DeNeuve is voiced by Kyle MacLachan.
thinman
+0 -0
Steve DeNeuve's wardrobe is provided by Mr. Guy.
Steve DeNeuve's wardrobe is provided by Mr. Guy.
professor_bear
+0 -0
man, something bad is about to happen.
man, something bad is about to happen.
ratacattt
+0 -0
Steve DeNeuve is some special kind of faggit. He's a hired clown. You shouldn%u2019t let other people get your kicks for you.
Steve DeNeuve is some special kind of faggit. He's a hired clown. You shouldn%u2019t let other people get your kicks for you.
ratacattt
+0 -0
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by InspectorGadget, bengreens, flandango, desert_donkey, cpnglxynchos, Epicurus, Kenton)
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by InspectorGadget, bengreens, flandango, desert_donkey, cpnglxynchos, Epicurus, Kenton)
oldhusky
+2 -0
*yawn* BORING
*yawn* BORING
doppelganger
+0 -2
Quote:
Delusions of grandeur?
All hail Ratacattt the Arrogant; arbiter of life and death, and master of message board self-importance.
Quote:
you never know when your life or death might hinge on some arrogant asshole on a message board somewhere giving a rat's ass about you
Delusions of grandeur?
All hail Ratacattt the Arrogant; arbiter of life and death, and master of message board self-importance.
ratacattt
+0 -0
it's a metaphone for christs sakes. if it's an assetbar message board or if it's a fucking suitcase with a red button, hitting the button twice by accident, hitting the wrong button, or whatever, you get it now? you get the analogy?
it's a metaphone for christs sakes. if it's an assetbar message board or if it's a fucking suitcase with a red button, hitting the button twice by accident, hitting the wrong button, or whatever, you get it now? you get the analogy?
ratacattt
+0 -0
it's a metaphone for christs sakes. if it's an assetbar message board or if it's a fucking suitcase with a red button, hitting the button twice by accident, hitting the wrong button, or whatever, you get it now? you get the analogy?
it's a metaphone for christs sakes. if it's an assetbar message board or if it's a fucking suitcase with a red button, hitting the button twice by accident, hitting the wrong button, or whatever, you get it now? you get the analogy?
ratacattt
+0 -0
(the above double post symbolizes doppelganger being vaporized in a nuclear explosion, which I sincerely hope (assuming doppelganger is in a different city than me) happens this evening.)
(the above double post symbolizes doppelganger being vaporized in a nuclear explosion, which I sincerely hope (assuming doppelganger is in a different city than me) happens this evening.)
puguglypress
+0 -0
Beige plate! Beige plate! Pay attention!
Beige plate! Beige plate! Pay attention!
ratacattt
+0 -1
I don't know why I feel the urge to be a preposterous cock to a stranger. but feel it I do.
I don't know why I feel the urge to be a preposterous cock to a stranger. but feel it I do.
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
You're just playing your strong suit.
You're just playing your strong suit.
flandango
+0 -0
I logged in for the first time in years to lame you. You feel the need to be a cock to a stranger because you want attention. You will get it, and it will be lame.
I logged in for the first time in years to lame you. You feel the need to be a cock to a stranger because you want attention. You will get it, and it will be lame.
ratacattt
+0 -0
Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames
bring it btich!
no I don't want attention. I'm more complex than that. If that's as creative as you get, you need to um get more creative.
Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames
bring it btich!
no I don't want attention. I'm more complex than that. If that's as creative as you get, you need to um get more creative.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Be The Preposterous Cock!
imagine [Image of Tom Cruise here]
Be The Preposterous Cock!
imagine [Image of Tom Cruise here]
evilperson
+0 -0
ratacattt, you are rad!
you...are...rad!
ratacattt, you are rad!
you...are...rad!
mockereo
+3 -0
no. no he is not.
no. no he is not.
ratacattt
+0 -0
Comment rated 1 Chubbies and 5 Lames
1 out of 5 dentists agree!
Comment rated 1 Chubbies and 5 Lames
1 out of 5 dentists agree!
epicurus
+7 -0
ratacatt: Man writes impassioned rant against discrimination, closes by suggesting that his opponent suck his dick as punishment for an incorrect opinion.
ratacatt: Man writes impassioned rant against discrimination, closes by suggesting that his opponent suck his dick as punishment for an incorrect opinion.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
A pedantic point, but one I figure you'll appreciate: what you call racism or jubahubadism is probably more appropriately called chauvinism.
A pedantic point, but one I figure you'll appreciate: what you call racism or jubahubadism is probably more appropriately called chauvinism.
ratacattt
+0 -1
SWEET JESUS yes you are right that's an awesome word and I can't believe I didn't know it! I'm happy to have discovered it. I always assumed it was used only to mean 'male chauvinist.' That's an awesome word. I can't wait for my first opportunity to berate someone with it!
Shit, I'm Pat.
Etymology
From French chauvinisme (originally %u2018idealistic devotion to Napoleon%u2019), named from Nicolas Chauvin de Rochefort, a soldier of the First Republic known for his excessive patriotism, especially famous after featuring as a character in Cogniard's play La Cocarde Tricolore.
[edit] Pronunciation
* (RP) IPA: /%u02C8%u0283%u0259%u028A.v%u026A.n%u026A.z%u0259m/, SAMPA: /"S@U.vI.nI.z@m/
* (US) IPA: /'%u0283o%u028A.v%u0259%u02CCn%u026Azm%u0329/, SAMPA: /"SoU.v@.nI.z@m/
* (Australia) IPA: /%u02C8%u0283%u0259%u028A.v%u0259.n%u026A.z%u0259m/, SAMPA: /"S@U.v@.nI.z@m/
[edit] Noun
Wikipedia-logo.png
Wikipedia has an article on:
Chauvinism
Singular
chauvinism
Plural
countable and uncountable; plural chauvinisms
chauvinism (countable and uncountable; plural chauvinisms)
1. Excessive patriotism, eagerness for national superiority; jingoism.
2. Unwarranted bias, favoritism, or devotion to one's own particular group, cause, or idea.
Feminists say that male chauvinism is still prevalent in cultures worldwide.
[edit] Synonyms
* jingoism
[edit] Derived terms
* male chauvinist
[edit] Related terms
* chauvinist
SWEET JESUS yes you are right that's an awesome word and I can't believe I didn't know it! I'm happy to have discovered it. I always assumed it was used only to mean 'male chauvinist.' That's an awesome word. I can't wait for my first opportunity to berate someone with it!
Shit, I'm Pat.
Etymology
From French chauvinisme (originally %u2018idealistic devotion to Napoleon%u2019), named from Nicolas Chauvin de Rochefort, a soldier of the First Republic known for his excessive patriotism, especially famous after featuring as a character in Cogniard's play La Cocarde Tricolore.
[edit] Pronunciation
* (RP) IPA: /%u02C8%u0283%u0259%u028A.v%u026A.n%u026A.z%u0259m/, SAMPA: /"S@U.vI.nI.z@m/
* (US) IPA: /'%u0283o%u028A.v%u0259%u02CCn%u026Azm%u0329/, SAMPA: /"SoU.v@.nI.z@m/
* (Australia) IPA: /%u02C8%u0283%u0259%u028A.v%u0259.n%u026A.z%u0259m/, SAMPA: /"S@U.v@.nI.z@m/
[edit] Noun
Wikipedia-logo.png
Wikipedia has an article on:
Chauvinism
Singular
chauvinism
Plural
countable and uncountable; plural chauvinisms
chauvinism (countable and uncountable; plural chauvinisms)
1. Excessive patriotism, eagerness for national superiority; jingoism.
2. Unwarranted bias, favoritism, or devotion to one's own particular group, cause, or idea.
Feminists say that male chauvinism is still prevalent in cultures worldwide.
[edit] Synonyms
* jingoism
[edit] Derived terms
* male chauvinist
[edit] Related terms
* chauvinist
carlyle
+1 -0
It is the saddest day you realize you are a Pat.
It is the saddest day you realize you are a Pat.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Paaatttttt. It's okay to come out of the closet about being an asshole.
Paaatttttt. It's okay to come out of the closet about being an asshole.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Being an asshole is like a sandy beach, and we have to learn not to go there!
Being an asshole is like a sandy beach, and we have to learn not to go there!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
Obvious troll is obvious.
Obvious troll is obvious.
desert_donkey
+1 -1
i hope they both die.
i hope they both die.
epicurus
+0 -0
Okay listen. Is Steven DeNeuve driving or is he sitting in the back with Philippe or what?
Okay listen. Is Steven DeNeuve driving or is he sitting in the back with Philippe or what?
wingspan
+2 -0
I vote in the back with Philippe. In the previous strip Johnny Phone Calls tells Tacodor the driver is two blocks away with Mr. DeNeuve.
I vote in the back with Philippe. In the previous strip Johnny Phone Calls tells Tacodor the driver is two blocks away with Mr. DeNeuve.
flateric
+0 -0
Also note the direction of Philippe's inquisitive look in panel five vis-à-vis the back seat.
Also note the direction of Philippe's inquisitive look in panel five vis-à-vis the back seat.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
"the driver" == Mr. DeNeuve! "What a twist!"
"the driver" == Mr. DeNeuve! "What a twist!"
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man I covered this.
Man I covered this.
neonfreon
+0 -0
Correct. From the previous comic: "Our driver is 2 blocks away with Mr. DeNeuve..."
Correct. From the previous comic: "Our driver is 2 blocks away with Mr. DeNeuve..."
dongleaid
+0 -0
assetbar imitates assetbar
assetbar imitates assetbar
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Onstad could spring anyone as the driver. Cartilage Head....Nice Pete...anyone....
Onstad could spring anyone as the driver. Cartilage Head....Nice Pete...anyone....
belgand
+0 -0
I was assuming that their driver was there to deliver Mr. DeNeuve who would not, of course, be driving himself to the meet. He is a professional and it is his job to drive Phillipe. He's not wasting himself on getting there.
Based on a more detailed view of the strip and the dialogue balloons though it would appear that I am wrong.
I was assuming that their driver was there to deliver Mr. DeNeuve who would not, of course, be driving himself to the meet. He is a professional and it is his job to drive Phillipe. He's not wasting himself on getting there.
Based on a more detailed view of the strip and the dialogue balloons though it would appear that I am wrong.
granularsilica
+0 -0
If you knew ANYTHING about high-security animal transport, you'd know someone has to be with the beast AT ALL TIMES. No driving allowed. Now keep an eye on that badger for me while I have a smoke.
If you knew ANYTHING about high-security animal transport, you'd know someone has to be with the beast AT ALL TIMES. No driving allowed. Now keep an eye on that badger for me while I have a smoke.
gladi8orrex
+12 -1
Teh road is long,
the pavement: rough
you may bring along:
your cherished stuff
I cannot see it yet.
your destination,
I am glad we met;
let us go:
without hesitation
the road is dark,
the street is narrow.
why don't we talk?
about your bow and arrow
i can see it now, faintly
in the distance. not much
further; i remember distinctly
i hope you've not forgotten--
how it feels: your mothers touch
the road is bumpy and unpave'
we drive along in caution
since you've seen your mother wave,
or smell your cloths after her:-
careful, loving , washin'
I can see it now, clear as day
a gasp upon beholding, like a
human child; first beholding rome
the thrilled cries, the teared up eyes,
a rush out the door:-his toys: he forgot some
he hurries to hug his dear mother. my heart: it dies
when the otter finally is home
Teh road is long,
the pavement: rough
you may bring along:
your cherished stuff
I cannot see it yet.
your destination,
I am glad we met;
let us go:
without hesitation
the road is dark,
the street is narrow.
why don't we talk?
about your bow and arrow
i can see it now, faintly
in the distance. not much
further; i remember distinctly
i hope you've not forgotten--
how it feels: your mothers touch
the road is bumpy and unpave'
we drive along in caution
since you've seen your mother wave,
or smell your cloths after her:-
careful, loving , washin'
I can see it now, clear as day
a gasp upon beholding, like a
human child; first beholding rome
the thrilled cries, the teared up eyes,
a rush out the door:-his toys: he forgot some
he hurries to hug his dear mother. my heart: it dies
when the otter finally is home
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
LINE EDIT
there is a missing line. damnit, i thought it but didn't write it i am so sorry
it was before 'since you've seen your...' it would be sumthin like how long's it been. goddamnit
LINE EDIT
there is a missing line. damnit, i thought it but didn't write it i am so sorry
it was before 'since you've seen your...' it would be sumthin like how long's it been. goddamnit
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
damn there is actually more to edit i rly shoulda reread this one i fucked up
damn there is actually more to edit i rly shoulda reread this one i fucked up
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Did you make a new account to repeatedly lame yourself?
Did you make a new account to repeatedly lame yourself?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
s'okay, glad. I like the double-entendre of this line:
Quote:
Unintentional? I think not.
s'okay, glad. I like the double-entendre of this line:
Quote:
I am glad we met;
Unintentional? I think not.
deus
+0 -0
I...I could trust this man with my life!
I...I could trust this man with my life!
carlyle
+0 -0
I like this Steve guy. Seems nice enough to me.
I like this Steve guy. Seems nice enough to me.
carlyle
+0 -0
mockereo
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
jar
+0 -0
ratacattt
+0 -0
something
something
duperando
+0 -0
I kind of feel like Steve DeNeuve is sort of supposed to be like a Russel Crowe-type character. He has this intense look about him. Sort of circa "A Beautiful Mind" with the slightly obsessive way he tries to comfort Phillippe.
I kind of feel like Steve DeNeuve is sort of supposed to be like a Russel Crowe-type character. He has this intense look about him. Sort of circa "A Beautiful Mind" with the slightly obsessive way he tries to comfort Phillippe.
belgand
+0 -0
I can't fully explain it, but I'm getting a youngish Walter Matthau vibe.
I can't fully explain it, but I'm getting a youngish Walter Matthau vibe.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
What I want to know
is where Onstad comes up with all the names for his minor characters.
See:
Steve DeNeuve
Leo Fontanette
Bob Calcavecchio (nonexistent, but work with me here)
et. al.
What I want to know
is where Onstad comes up with all the names for his minor characters.
See:
Steve DeNeuve
Leo Fontanette
Bob Calcavecchio (nonexistent, but work with me here)
et. al.
wingspan
+0 -0
The Police Blotter from 1950's back-issues of the Brooklyn Gazette?
The Police Blotter from 1950's back-issues of the Brooklyn Gazette?
zhankfor
+1 -0
From business cards he finds taped to Halloween candy.
From business cards he finds taped to Halloween candy.
streever
+1 -0
chubbied for your ability to pay attention!
chubbied for your ability to pay attention!
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
flipping to random pages in the phonebook?
flipping to random pages in the phonebook?
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
prob his imagination you dumb son of a bitch
prob his imagination you dumb son of a bitch
stonecrab
+0 -0
My favorite is, well not actually a character, but "Rockford Fosgate" - name of the business Showbiz owes money to... Makes me want to open a business, just so I can name it "Rockford Fosgate".
My favorite is, well not actually a character, but "Rockford Fosgate" - name of the business Showbiz owes money to... Makes me want to open a business, just so I can name it "Rockford Fosgate".
missbee
+0 -0
Why did he wait until they were on the road to introduce himself?
This makes me uneasy.
Why did he wait until they were on the road to introduce himself?
This makes me uneasy.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I thought that. He seems to have a precisely calculated moment at a certain point of the journey at which to first turn towards his charge and introduce himself.
In his head, he is now counting down to the time of the next Interaction.
I thought that. He seems to have a precisely calculated moment at a certain point of the journey at which to first turn towards his charge and introduce himself.
In his head, he is now counting down to the time of the next Interaction.
missbee
+0 -0
I can see that. Wow, super creepy.
I can see that. Wow, super creepy.
berami
+0 -0
Poor little Phillipe... he looks so eager and trusting. I haven't felt this scared for him since the Secret Ice Cream Store.
I do like that he now has a little chain on his sunglasses, though.
I gave this one a 4 even though 1 matches my expression better.
Poor little Phillipe... he looks so eager and trusting. I haven't felt this scared for him since the Secret Ice Cream Store.
I do like that he now has a little chain on his sunglasses, though.
I gave this one a 4 even though 1 matches my expression better.
mockereo
+0 -0
teach me your ways! i still can't rate strips since the 1337 hax that abused them
teach me your ways! i still can't rate strips since the 1337 hax that abused them
streever
+0 -0
He was safe at the Secret Ice Cream Store, and he'll be safe with Steve DeNeuve. Don't worry so much, it'll make you turn grey.
He was safe at the Secret Ice Cream Store, and he'll be safe with Steve DeNeuve. Don't worry so much, it'll make you turn grey.
theirateturk
+2 -0
Home. Home Again. (I like to be here when I can).
Home. Home Again. (I like to be here when I can).
caddon
+0 -0
Last line's from an alternative Gil Scott-Heron track lost to the ages.
Last line's from an alternative Gil Scott-Heron track lost to the ages.
mockereo
+0 -0
i doubt Gil Scott-Heron funked out about underwear elastic crossbows...
oooooh you mean the last last line
i doubt Gil Scott-Heron funked out about underwear elastic crossbows...
oooooh you mean the last last line
randyleepublic
+5 -0
Phillipe, I'm a prostitute.
Phillipe, I'm a prostitute.
thinman
+0 -0
You're a prostitute, or Steve DeNeuve is?
Because I think Steve DeNeuve would refer to himself as a 'purveyor of coital friction.'
Cuz that seems like the kind of guy Steve DeNueve would be.
You're a prostitute, or Steve DeNeuve is?
Because I think Steve DeNeuve would refer to himself as a 'purveyor of coital friction.'
Cuz that seems like the kind of guy Steve DeNueve would be.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oh my gosh. What about Petunia and the baby? I'll be a two-timer! I'll go to hell!
Oh my gosh. What about Petunia and the baby? I'll be a two-timer! I'll go to hell!
mintyhelminthes
+0 -0
so beautiful
so beautiful
ketelcat
+0 -0
There goes a special boy
There goes a special boy
granularsilica
+0 -0
Okay, this much is certain:
1. Steve is in the back seat w/ Philippe
2. Steve has ears, therefore, is not an otter
3. Someone else is driving
Okay, this much is certain:
1. Steve is in the back seat w/ Philippe
2. Steve has ears, therefore, is not an otter
3. Someone else is driving
esselfortium
+2 -0
"I think...I may have been born to meet you, Philippe."
"I think...I may have been born to meet you, Philippe."
junebuggy
+5 -0
Has anyone noticed that Steve DeNeuve's collar spells Korn?
Has anyone noticed that Steve DeNeuve's collar spells Korn?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That is the most improbable subliminal advertising that has ever been.
That is the most improbable subliminal advertising that has ever been.
mockereo
+1 -0
probably the most inappropriate too...
Everyone: ( stage whisper ) What is the purpose of that ellipses at the end of his sentence fragment?
Mockereo: It serves as a challenge to everyone to find hilarious examples. I'm so glad you asked me, Everyone.
probably the most inappropriate too...
Everyone: ( stage whisper ) What is the purpose of that ellipses at the end of his sentence fragment?
Mockereo: It serves as a challenge to everyone to find hilarious examples. I'm so glad you asked me, Everyone.
fresco
+0 -0
Holy Hell!
Holy Hell!
sinikl
+0 -0
That AMC Eagle was totally Hecho En Mexico.
That AMC Eagle was totally Hecho En Mexico.
hendetta
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Exit Phillipe, stage right.
Looks more like stage left to me.
technically stage left if they are, in fact, facing an audience on a stage
From Introduction to New Characters 2010-2011
DeNeuve: Hi everybody, I'm Steve DeNeuve. If you're reading this in the voice of Philip Seymour Hoffman, you just lost the game.
why did you kill my game-wnning streak? WHY?!
wow...that avatir...
Also, Pokemon!
Damn you!
NO! Steve DeNeuve is from Brussels, Belgium. He emigrated to America in 1989. He sounds like Gérard Depardieu, but only slightly.
Do I not lose the game if Philip Seymour Hoffman was nowhere near my consciousness while reading this?
You do not.
Snagglepuss!