drskradley
+0 -0
Yes, friends: Nice Pete turns even origami into a morality tale.
Yes, friends: Nice Pete turns even origami into a morality tale.
pravda
+0 -0
A comment left by pravda was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by thumbfinger, Sprog, griggs_although)
A comment left by pravda was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by thumbfinger, Sprog, griggs_although)
sje46
+0 -0
A comment left by sje46 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aki, tarps, aperson)
A comment left by sje46 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Aki, tarps, aperson)
j-man
+12 -1
Is Pete sporting a new haircut?
Is Pete sporting a new haircut?
lrosetw8
+3 -1
Yea, his forehead looks slightly larger. And more murderous.
Also, I accidentally lamed you, S.O.-S.O.R.R.Y. :(
Yea, his forehead looks slightly larger. And more murderous.
Also, I accidentally lamed you, S.O.-S.O.R.R.Y. :(
aristagoras
+6 -1
Because I am an altruist, I gave him the Chubby you owed him.
Because I am an altruist, I gave him the Chubby you owed him.
lrosetw8
+0 -2
Thankee. I have chubbed you in return, good sir.
Thankee. I have chubbed you in return, good sir.
terebikun
+1 -0
Way to go, Dr. Steve Brule
Way to go, Dr. Steve Brule
skoora
+4 -1
Did you do it...for his health?
Did you do it...for his health?
tekende
+12 -2
You know when you leave a comment, and someone lames it by accident? Just laugh it off, dummy!
For your health!
You know when you leave a comment, and someone lames it by accident? Just laugh it off, dummy!
For your health!
hoboninja
+0 -0
Fuck yeah, Brule's rules. For your health!
Fuck yeah, Brule's rules. For your health!
skoora
+0 -2
Man, your Steve Brule reference is way better than mine. I shamefully chubby you in my defeat.
Man, your Steve Brule reference is way better than mine. I shamefully chubby you in my defeat.
tekende
+0 -0
Aw, I liked yours too though! And if you hadn't said it, I wouldn't have even though of mine, as I hadn't noticed the avatar in the first place.
Aw, I liked yours too though! And if you hadn't said it, I wouldn't have even though of mine, as I hadn't noticed the avatar in the first place.
mortshire
+3 -0
Isn't it great that we're all getting along?
[IMGS OFF]
Isn't it great that we're all getting along?
[IMGS OFF]
squares
+3 -0
what the hell is going on here. i don't see no rings on no fingers.
what the hell is going on here. i don't see no rings on no fingers.
terebikun
+0 -0
The Only Married News Team certainly has some 'splaining to do.
The Only Married News Team certainly has some 'splaining to do.
kamet
+0 -0
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
That is...that is the most frightening thing I've seen in weeks (and I've seen Dark Knight).
That is...that is the most frightening thing I've seen in weeks (and I've seen Dark Knight).
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man hurray for those guys.
man hurray for those guys.
busbum00
+2 -0
Plan Ahead.
Rest Assured.
Brain Games.
Plan Ahead.
Rest Assured.
Brain Games.
j-man
+0 -1
I was wondering, "Now why would someone lame my completely innocuous comment?" But don't worry about it! :D
I was wondering, "Now why would someone lame my completely innocuous comment?" But don't worry about it! :D
spinynorman
+40 -0
I'm going to guess he still hasn't washed out the pomade from the wedding. I once went as Patrick Bateman for Halloween and I bought this tin of Pomade which I had to assume was good because it had two vaguely-minstrely black people with Fros smiling on the front. I expected it to have "So good it's racist!" somewhere on it in small, old-timey lettering.
Man, that shit was ridiculous. It was like candle wax mixed with seal fat mixed with whatever gravity is made of. As soon as I took a fingerful and watched a string of that shit stretch a string of that shit like bad queso I immediately thought, "This is probably not something that goes in hair, or anywhere near or in the human body." And I was right. Combing it in was semi-painful, and even though I won a costume contest I was unable to wash the waxy-like substance out of my hair without a cocktail of drano, white vinegar, bottom-shelf vodka, and a child's swear, trapped with a net from the air of a local playground and lightly pureed. They could use that shit to waterproof ships.
I'm going to guess he still hasn't washed out the pomade from the wedding. I once went as Patrick Bateman for Halloween and I bought this tin of Pomade which I had to assume was good because it had two vaguely-minstrely black people with Fros smiling on the front. I expected it to have "So good it's racist!" somewhere on it in small, old-timey lettering.
Man, that shit was ridiculous. It was like candle wax mixed with seal fat mixed with whatever gravity is made of. As soon as I took a fingerful and watched a string of that shit stretch a string of that shit like bad queso I immediately thought, "This is probably not something that goes in hair, or anywhere near or in the human body." And I was right. Combing it in was semi-painful, and even though I won a costume contest I was unable to wash the waxy-like substance out of my hair without a cocktail of drano, white vinegar, bottom-shelf vodka, and a child's swear, trapped with a net from the air of a local playground and lightly pureed. They could use that shit to waterproof ships.
spinynorman
+5 -0
Notice that I start rapping about strings and shit about halfway through
Notice that I start rapping about strings and shit about halfway through
edwell
+18 -0
The time has come, the hedgehog said,
To rap of many things:
Of fros and ships and candle wax,
Of gravity and strings--
(b-break it down now)
The time has come, the hedgehog said,
To rap of many things:
Of fros and ships and candle wax,
Of gravity and strings--
(b-break it down now)
akarroa
+0 -0
Chubby for Lewis Carroll
Chubby for Lewis Carroll
spinynorman
+0 -0
Mahvelous.
Mahvelous.
puguglypress
+0 -0
yo yo yo yo the frogs are fallin cuz of forces eternal, gravity is motha nature's urinal, i got candles set on burn, y'all and i'm waxin this chick till she starts to turn, y'all
i got mad raps that i spit bionic
and you can suck my dick when u call me Sonic
yo yo yo yo the frogs are fallin cuz of forces eternal, gravity is motha nature's urinal, i got candles set on burn, y'all and i'm waxin this chick till she starts to turn, y'all
i got mad raps that i spit bionic
and you can suck my dick when u call me Sonic
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, Spinynorman. It's been far too long.
Oh, Spinynorman. It's been far too long.
tekende
+0 -0
Chubbied for a) grade-a truth about pomade (I used to use that stuff when I sported a pompadour) and b) dressing as Patrick Bateman for Halloween. Did you wear a raincoat?
Chubbied for a) grade-a truth about pomade (I used to use that stuff when I sported a pompadour) and b) dressing as Patrick Bateman for Halloween. Did you wear a raincoat?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The costume is not complete without a bag of videotapes.
The costume is not complete without a bag of videotapes.
terebikun
+0 -0
But he said he was on his way to return them!
But he said he was on his way to return them!
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yup, and I stayed in character all night. It was pretty suitable for a party where I didn't know anyone's name, acting like a sneering jackass works wonders.
Yup, and I stayed in character all night. It was pretty suitable for a party where I didn't know anyone's name, acting like a sneering jackass works wonders.
tekende
+0 -0
Excellent. I just hope you took some time to tell a few people about Huey Lewis and the News and Whitney Houston.
Excellent. I just hope you took some time to tell a few people about Huey Lewis and the News and Whitney Houston.
bixschmix
+2 -0
I do that at the majority of parties I attend.
I do that at the majority of parties I attend.
tekende
+0 -0
But you hadn't even seen the movie until I made you watch it. Therefore if you are telling the truth, you are a really weird person.
But you hadn't even seen the movie until I made you watch it. Therefore if you are telling the truth, you are a really weird person.
riazm
+0 -0
I really want a raincoat like the one from the Paul Allen scene. Are there UK distributors?
I really want a raincoat like the one from the Paul Allen scene. Are there UK distributors?
riazm
+2 -0
Yes riazm, MUJI provide similar coats. They can be purchased online or otherwise you can go into a store and they will be probably on a shelf or hanger.
https://www.muji.eu/pages/online.asp?V=1&Sec=6&Sub=30&PID=958&CHK=Y
Yes riazm, MUJI provide similar coats. They can be purchased online or otherwise you can go into a store and they will be probably on a shelf or hanger.
https://www.muji.eu/pages/online.asp?V=1&Sec=6&Sub=30&PID=958&CHK=Y
tekende
+0 -0
What subtle product placement!
What subtle product placement!
riazm
+0 -0
Bateman would make a stunning advertising spokesmodel.
"Try getting a reservation at Dorsia without one!"
Bateman would make a stunning advertising spokesmodel.
"Try getting a reservation at Dorsia without one!"
achilleselbow
+1 -1
"That's a caffeine-free Diet Coke, right?" Anne asks the waiter.
"You know," I interrupt, "you should have it with Diet Pepsi. It's much better."
"Really?" Anne asks. "What do you mean?"
%u201CYou should have the Diet Pepsi instead of the Diet Coke,%u201D I say. %u201CIt%u2019s much better. It%u2019s fizzier. It has a cleaner taste. It mixes better with rum and has a lower sodium content.%u201D
The waiter, Scott, Anne, and even Courtney %u2013 they all stare at me as if I%u2019ve offered some kind of diabolical, apocalyptic observation, as if I were shattering a myth highly held, or destroying an oath that was solemnly regarded, and it suddenly seems almost hushed in Deck Chairs.
[...]
"Listen," I say, my voice trembling with emotion, "have whatever you want but I'm telling you I recommend the Diet Pepsi." I look down at my lap, at the blue cloth napkin, the words Deck Chairs sewn into the napkin's edge, and for a moment think I'm going to cry; my chin trembles and I can't swallow.
Courtney reahces over and touches my wrist gently, stroking my Rolex. "It's okay Patrick. It really is..."
"That's a caffeine-free Diet Coke, right?" Anne asks the waiter.
"You know," I interrupt, "you should have it with Diet Pepsi. It's much better."
"Really?" Anne asks. "What do you mean?"
%u201CYou should have the Diet Pepsi instead of the Diet Coke,%u201D I say. %u201CIt%u2019s much better. It%u2019s fizzier. It has a cleaner taste. It mixes better with rum and has a lower sodium content.%u201D
The waiter, Scott, Anne, and even Courtney %u2013 they all stare at me as if I%u2019ve offered some kind of diabolical, apocalyptic observation, as if I were shattering a myth highly held, or destroying an oath that was solemnly regarded, and it suddenly seems almost hushed in Deck Chairs.
[...]
"Listen," I say, my voice trembling with emotion, "have whatever you want but I'm telling you I recommend the Diet Pepsi." I look down at my lap, at the blue cloth napkin, the words Deck Chairs sewn into the napkin's edge, and for a moment think I'm going to cry; my chin trembles and I can't swallow.
Courtney reahces over and touches my wrist gently, stroking my Rolex. "It's okay Patrick. It really is..."
achilleselbow
+1 -0
:-(
:-(
meddle
+3 -0
OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST HAVE A BEER
OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST HAVE A BEER
tekende
+0 -0
I love this comment, meddle. I really do. It deserves more chubbies than it has.
I love this comment, meddle. I really do. It deserves more chubbies than it has.
spinynorman
+0 -0
You are right.
You are right.
soupkaty
+0 -0
Favorite quote from American Psycho:
"Oh honey," I say, shaking my head, "The things I could do to you with a coat hanger."
The scene that quote is from wowed me so much I actually had to stop reading for a minute to copy it into a spiral.
Favorite quote from American Psycho:
"Oh honey," I say, shaking my head, "The things I could do to you with a coat hanger."
The scene that quote is from wowed me so much I actually had to stop reading for a minute to copy it into a spiral.
bixschmix
+0 -0
It has nothing to do with American Psycho, and everything to do with Whitney Houston and Huey Lewis and the News.
It has nothing to do with American Psycho, and everything to do with Whitney Houston and Huey Lewis and the News.
tekende
+0 -0
You listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one??
You listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one??
bixschmix
+0 -0
No, but I do own Wham! on vinyl. Good thing this comic is so old that nobody will read this comment.
No, but I do own Wham! on vinyl. Good thing this comic is so old that nobody will read this comment.
kamet
+0 -0
HA!! Your plan is foiled bixschmix! Muahahhahhaaa.
HA!! Your plan is foiled bixschmix! Muahahhahhaaa.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hey, everyone get back here and read this thing about Bixschmix!
Hey, everyone get back here and read this thing about Bixschmix!
bixschmix
+0 -0
I Wham! and I am not ashamed!
I Wham! and I am not ashamed!
mrprim
+6 -0
Murray's pomade. Pomade so good, it's vaguely racist.
[IMGS OFF]
Murray's pomade. Pomade so good, it's vaguely racist.
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+10 -2
But... but I'm a Dapper Dan man!
But... but I'm a Dapper Dan man!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Yeah you and every escaped convict-brother duo that goes to rob a hayseed bank but winds up stealing a kidnapped quintuplet and screaming for 10 minutes as they realize they forgot him in the road.
Or something.
Yeah you and every escaped convict-brother duo that goes to rob a hayseed bank but winds up stealing a kidnapped quintuplet and screaming for 10 minutes as they realize they forgot him in the road.
Or something.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You left out carpet theft and trying to drag a convulsing dead body out of the middle of the road in the night as a pair of headlights approaches from the distance.
You left out carpet theft and trying to drag a convulsing dead body out of the middle of the road in the night as a pair of headlights approaches from the distance.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
From deductive reasoning I deduce that is from The Big Lebowski (carpet) and I sullenly admit I haven't seen that Coen gem yet.
:((((((((((((((((((((((((
From deductive reasoning I deduce that is from The Big Lebowski (carpet) and I sullenly admit I haven't seen that Coen gem yet.
:((((((((((((((((((((((((
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't think it is...
I don't think it is...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well like I said I never saw it but I thought we were doing a Coen thing so
Whoops!
Well like I said I never saw it but I thought we were doing a Coen thing so
Whoops!
mystkmanat
+1 -0
O Brother Where Art Thou?, i believe.
O Brother Where Art Thou?, i believe.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
right you are!
right you are!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I thought so, because the conversation was about pomade originally.
God damn I haven't seen that movie in AGES.
I thought so, because the conversation was about pomade originally.
God damn I haven't seen that movie in AGES.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
All the kids in my high school class thought I was weird for laughing because that movie is funny.
All the kids in my high school class thought I was weird for laughing because that movie is funny.
squares
+0 -0
There is no excuse for not seeing the Big Lebowski (the most quotable movie ever). I believe i_love_kate was referring to two movies tho, if you substitute RUG for carpet, then he's referring to the Big Lebowski and Fargo.
There is no excuse for not seeing the Big Lebowski (the most quotable movie ever). I believe i_love_kate was referring to two movies tho, if you substitute RUG for carpet, then he's referring to the Big Lebowski and Fargo.
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
"the most quotable movie ever"
Not to turn this into an online Lebowski Fest, but this is a true statement.
"Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"
The F-word, or a variation thereof, is used 281 times. Wanna see it now?
"the most quotable movie ever"
Not to turn this into an online Lebowski Fest, but this is a true statement.
"Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"
The F-word, or a variation thereof, is used 281 times. Wanna see it now?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I assumed that's what the body thing was and I knew the plot of Lebowski revolved around the Dude trying to get his rug/carpet/alfombra etc replaced/cleaned/repaired/Stanley Steamer-ed. But I wasn't sure. And you're right, there is no excuse. I apologize to you, to all of AssetBar, and the movie-watching world.
I've seen Barton Fink but not The Big Lebowski. Disgusting.
I assumed that's what the body thing was and I knew the plot of Lebowski revolved around the Dude trying to get his rug/carpet/alfombra etc replaced/cleaned/repaired/Stanley Steamer-ed. But I wasn't sure. And you're right, there is no excuse. I apologize to you, to all of AssetBar, and the movie-watching world.
I've seen Barton Fink but not The Big Lebowski. Disgusting.
octafish
+0 -0
Scene One: A tenement building on Manhattan's Lower East Side. Early morning traffic is audible, as is the cry of the fishmongers.
We'll be hearing from that kid, and I don't mean a postcard.
Scene One: A tenement building on Manhattan's Lower East Side. Early morning traffic is audible, as is the cry of the fishmongers.
We'll be hearing from that kid, and I don't mean a postcard.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Welcome to Los An-ga-lees Mr. Fink!
Welcome to Los An-ga-lees Mr. Fink!
meddle
+0 -0
Where are you? I am with the Lebowski Education Commission, and it is my job to make sure people see this film. It may or may not cure cancer.
As a side note, I'm surprised, given all the Lebowski fans in Assetland, that no one has called out my avatar.
Where are you? I am with the Lebowski Education Commission, and it is my job to make sure people see this film. It may or may not cure cancer.
As a side note, I'm surprised, given all the Lebowski fans in Assetland, that no one has called out my avatar.
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
Dick
Dick
meddle
+0 -0
My name's Da Fino, I'm a private snoop. A dick, man! Like you!
And let me tell y
My name's Da Fino, I'm a private snoop. A dick, man! Like you!
And let me tell y
meddle
+0 -0
ou something, I dig your work man.
ou something, I dig your work man.
beefsmipeep
+1 -0
I meant, a bowling Dick.
It's so small, it's really hard to tell unless you know what you're looking at.
"That's what she said" harharhar
I meant, a bowling Dick.
It's so small, it's really hard to tell unless you know what you're looking at.
"That's what she said" harharhar
meddle
+0 -0
dick, rod, johnson, it's all so confusing
dick, rod, johnson, it's all so confusing
terebikun
+0 -0
Los Angeles: We'll Show You The Life of the Mind
Los Angeles: We'll Show You The Life of the Mind
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fargo or Blood Simple.
Fargo or Blood Simple.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Miller's motherfucking Crossing
Miller's motherfucking Crossing
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sorry. No Country For Old motherfuckin' Men is my favorite Coen joint.
Sorry. No Country For Old motherfuckin' Men is my favorite Coen joint.
terebikun
+0 -0
Hear hear! For me, followed by probably Barton Fink, and a tie between Fargo and Lebowski
Hear hear! For me, followed by probably Barton Fink, and a tie between Fargo and Lebowski
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I was just saying that the bit with the dead body being dragged out of the road at night as headlights approach from the distance has been featured in both Fargo and Blood Simple.
My favourite is probably actually Oh, Brother.
I was just saying that the bit with the dead body being dragged out of the road at night as headlights approach from the distance has been featured in both Fargo and Blood Simple.
My favourite is probably actually Oh, Brother.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Favorite(s): O Brother, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Miller's Crossing, No Country AH FUCK THATS LIKE HALF OF THEM SHIIIIT
Favorite(s): O Brother, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Miller's Crossing, No Country AH FUCK THATS LIKE HALF OF THEM SHIIIIT
usversusthem
+0 -0
In this study, we reach the conclusion that the Coen brothers are fucking awesome.
In this study, we reach the conclusion that the Coen brothers are fucking awesome.
spinynorman
+3 -0
They really just look like white people dressed like black people. It's like Al Jolson in a can.
They really just look like white people dressed like black people. It's like Al Jolson in a can.
phy
+16 -0
*ring ring ring*
-Shopper's Foodway, how may I help you?
-Yeah, do you have, um, Al-Jolson-In-A-Can?
-Of course, it's on aisle 6 in with the hair ca-
-WELL, YOU BETTER LET HIM OUT BWAHAHAHA
*click*
*ring ring ring*
-Shopper's Foodway, how may I help you?
-Yeah, do you have, um, Al-Jolson-In-A-Can?
-Of course, it's on aisle 6 in with the hair ca-
-WELL, YOU BETTER LET HIM OUT BWAHAHAHA
*click*
tekende
+0 -0
I want to chubby this but I only have one or two left there have just been so many good comments today oh man
I want to chubby this but I only have one or two left there have just been so many good comments today oh man
thegoblins
+1 -0
When you open the can it starts singing about angels and loneliness.
When you open the can it starts singing about angels and loneliness.
akarroa
+0 -0
Like this?
[IMGS OFF]
Like this?
[IMGS OFF]
conspirogami
+0 -0
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
thegoblins
+0 -0
If that white was covered in black greasepaint, then it could be the Al Jolson tribute toilet.
If that white was covered in black greasepaint, then it could be the Al Jolson tribute toilet.
akarroa
+0 -0
It's a toilet that sings when you open it. The music notes were mostly cut off.
It's a toilet that sings when you open it. The music notes were mostly cut off.
charhe
+2 -0
Do you need a pomade that is slightly... more racist?
Try Murray's!
It's as racist as Grandma after the second cocktail. But for your hair!
Do you need a pomade that is slightly... more racist?
Try Murray's!
It's as racist as Grandma after the second cocktail. But for your hair!
silentdante
+3 -0
I actually regularly used that stuff on my straight, white boy hair for a while in college. I am now nearly bald.
Your costume reminds me of a costume I did one year where I went as Tyler Durden. I started the night in business wear with a black eye and a name tag that read "I am Jack's Halloween costume." Mid-way through the party, I changed into more Brad Pitt style clothes and spiked my hair with a styling glue I also blame for my baldness. Great night.
I actually regularly used that stuff on my straight, white boy hair for a while in college. I am now nearly bald.
Your costume reminds me of a costume I did one year where I went as Tyler Durden. I started the night in business wear with a black eye and a name tag that read "I am Jack's Halloween costume." Mid-way through the party, I changed into more Brad Pitt style clothes and spiked my hair with a styling glue I also blame for my baldness. Great night.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NICE.
NICE.
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, that is what I used!
Later I switched to a different kind that did not share so many properties in common with solids.
Yes, that is what I used!
Later I switched to a different kind that did not share so many properties in common with solids.
kyrasmash
+0 -0
As a daily pomade user, I feel your rather heady pain. But it looks so damn good.
As a daily pomade user, I feel your rather heady pain. But it looks so damn good.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Oh, Spiney, Spiney. Absence makes the heart grow fonder indeed. Good show, old chap.
Oh, Spiney, Spiney. Absence makes the heart grow fonder indeed. Good show, old chap.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
The tin tried to tell you, by the illustration on its lid, that it was designed for the thick and robust hair of black people. However you mistook this sensible warning for folksy Americana, and slathered it over your head like brown sauce on chips.
The tin tried to tell you, by the illustration on its lid, that it was designed for the thick and robust hair of black people. However you mistook this sensible warning for folksy Americana, and slathered it over your head like brown sauce on chips.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I guess all the other white boys above you who said they used the same thing fell for the same trick, then.
I guess all the other white boys above you who said they used the same thing fell for the same trick, then.
kickstart
+0 -0
I just read this story on the AVClub thread about costumes. It seemed oddly familiar and after a bit of thinking, I remembered it was everyone's wordsmithiest Assetbuddy. I was tempted to be all "Hey I know that dude!" but then thought better of it.
I just read this story on the AVClub thread about costumes. It seemed oddly familiar and after a bit of thinking, I remembered it was everyone's wordsmithiest Assetbuddy. I was tempted to be all "Hey I know that dude!" but then thought better of it.
aperson
+0 -0
Good move. There's gotta be some blackmail money in this.
Good move. There's gotta be some blackmail money in this.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Yeah. I wrote it here first, and then I was like, "You know what, this was so fun to write I'll clean it up and put it on my blog." Then I read the AVClub thread and decided it's be somewhat appropriate, but rather than retyping it I took The Coward's Way and copied and pasted.
Yeah. I wrote it here first, and then I was like, "You know what, this was so fun to write I'll clean it up and put it on my blog." Then I read the AVClub thread and decided it's be somewhat appropriate, but rather than retyping it I took The Coward's Way and copied and pasted.
envika
+0 -0
Your avatar rather accurately represents my facial expression when I saw new Pete.
Your avatar rather accurately represents my facial expression when I saw new Pete.
boscostacy
+8 -0
Just one more step in the process by which Nice Pete becomes Nick Cave:
[IMGS OFF]
Just one more step in the process by which Nice Pete becomes Nick Cave:
[IMGS OFF]
spinynorman
+0 -0
I read once in an interview that Nick Cave keeps an office where he goes to write and work. He goes there at 9 and works til 5 and then he comes home.
At first I thought it was because he wanted peace and quiet. Now that I really think about it, maybe Nick Cave is not the guy to have your family around when he's "working."
I read once in an interview that Nick Cave keeps an office where he goes to write and work. He goes there at 9 and works til 5 and then he comes home.
At first I thought it was because he wanted peace and quiet. Now that I really think about it, maybe Nick Cave is not the guy to have your family around when he's "working."
tekende
+0 -0
I imagine he probably does a lot of screaming. Maybe throws things for a while. By five he has written something that resembles a passable song and will finish it the next day.
From 2-3 in the afternoon there is a Cussing Break (a break during which to cuss, not a break from cussing).
I imagine he probably does a lot of screaming. Maybe throws things for a while. By five he has written something that resembles a passable song and will finish it the next day.
From 2-3 in the afternoon there is a Cussing Break (a break during which to cuss, not a break from cussing).
autrepoupee
+5 -0
I hear if you fold Nick Cave into three quarters and then turn him around to face the other way, he'll show you where the wild roses grow.
Also, on the reverse side, there is a picture of him with Nice Pete. They're on a yacht, but on opposite sides of the yacht. There is a but one single cigarette (no filter) smoldering on the deck betwixt them.
Draw your own conclusions.
I hear if you fold Nick Cave into three quarters and then turn him around to face the other way, he'll show you where the wild roses grow.
Also, on the reverse side, there is a picture of him with Nice Pete. They're on a yacht, but on opposite sides of the yacht. There is a but one single cigarette (no filter) smoldering on the deck betwixt them.
Draw your own conclusions.
terebikun
+0 -0
Why so many great comments today?! I'm all chubbied out.
Why so many great comments today?! I'm all chubbied out.
irondave
+0 -0
You are on fire with wit today, girl.
You are on fire with wit today, girl.
aliiis
+0 -0
Oh autre! Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
Oh autre! Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
tragicone
+0 -0
i never looked at your profile to find you were a girl until just now.
i never looked at your profile to find you were a girl until just now.
octafish
+0 -0
Now we just need Nice Pete to start wearing a suit and hanging out with Warren Ellis and Blixa Bargeld.
Now we just need Nice Pete to start wearing a suit and hanging out with Warren Ellis and Blixa Bargeld.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
well... Pete needs to take heaps of heroine, be of higher mind and develop an Australian accent.
well... Pete needs to take heaps of heroine, be of higher mind and develop an Australian accent.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Does anyone else think nick cave looks like Martin Amis?
Does anyone else think nick cave looks like Martin Amis?
octafish
+0 -0
Its the skis, if you cover the left half of the picture you'll see he looks nothing like Martin Amis.
Its the skis, if you cover the left half of the picture you'll see he looks nothing like Martin Amis.
cdumas
+0 -0
There's not enough Stalin in the picture for Martin Amis to get involved.
There's not enough Stalin in the picture for Martin Amis to get involved.
aliiis
+0 -0
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH SSSSHHHIIIIITTTTT!
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH SSSSHHHIIIIITTTTT!
stubob
+0 -0
Bar ney
Bar ney
gowerski
+0 -0
ebts ede egal ?
ebts ede egal ?
professorhazard
+73 -1
I'm surprised none of you have mentioned this classic one yet:
[IMGS OFF]
I'm surprised none of you have mentioned this classic one yet:
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+10 -0
Man, you Americans have some damned interesting currency. After continued experiments with a ten pound note, all I managed to create were a number of horrible horrible images of mutated royalty.
And I think that might be treason, actually.
Man, you Americans have some damned interesting currency. After continued experiments with a ten pound note, all I managed to create were a number of horrible horrible images of mutated royalty.
And I think that might be treason, actually.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Treason or Truth?
Inbreeding. S'all I'm sayin'.
Treason or Truth?
Inbreeding. S'all I'm sayin'.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Orf with one's head..
Orf with one's head..
eatmorekix
+22 -0
but you can give the Queen a hat
[IMGS OFF]
but you can give the Queen a hat
[IMGS OFF]
eatmorekix
+2 -0
also: the real Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N.
also: the real Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
Damn! You think I could make Lincoln and the Queen make out?
Damn! You think I could make Lincoln and the Queen make out?
lexsenthur
+1 -0
Now I'm SURE that THAT is treason.
Possibly in two countries.
It will become a case study in international law for the next forty years.
Now I'm SURE that THAT is treason.
Possibly in two countries.
It will become a case study in international law for the next forty years.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Just light treason though.
Just light treason though.
octafish
+0 -0
...with half the calories!
...with half the calories!
tekende
+0 -0
But tastes the same as regular treason!
But tastes the same as regular treason!
octafish
+0 -0
[img]https://www.romantictimes.com/images/resources/covermodels/fabio_2.jpg[/i]
I can't believe it's notbutter treason!
[img]https://www.romantictimes.com/images/resources/covermodels/fabio_2.jpg[/i]
I can't believe it's not
octafish
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Fuck you Fabio! Fuck you Assetbar! Fuck you World!
[IMGS OFF]
Fuck you Fabio! Fuck you Assetbar! Fuck you World!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm really upset that none of you guys got an Arrested Development joke.
I'm really really disappointed.
I'm really upset that none of you guys got an Arrested Development joke.
I'm really really disappointed.
kickstart
+0 -0
That's because none of their dads were working with Saddam.
HUSSEIN
That's because none of their dads were working with Saddam.
HUSSEIN
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Shouldn't they be saying "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!"...?
Shouldn't they be saying "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!"...?
aliiis
+0 -0
Rule Britannia!
Rule Britannia!
cpnglxynchos
+31 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Wow, I've already given out all my chubbies...tekende wasn't kidding. My second every v-chub to you, cpn. If I had photoshop, wasn't at work, and had a place to store images online, I would've done that too, you know.
Word.
Wow, I've already given out all my chubbies...tekende wasn't kidding. My second every v-chub to you, cpn. If I had photoshop, wasn't at work, and had a place to store images online, I would've done that too, you know.
Word.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
PAINT IS WHERE IT'S AT!
...for such basic business.
PAINT IS WHERE IT'S AT!
...for such basic business.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Oh god this is the most satisfied I've been reading Assetbar. Kudos and chubbies, in a hailstorm, to you.
Oh god this is the most satisfied I've been reading Assetbar. Kudos and chubbies, in a hailstorm, to you.
andyfaewatford
+0 -0
I'm fairly sure I remember a fad for making Andre Agassi's face by folding a fiver. Andre Agassi wearing the Queen's pearl necklace, obviously, but a spooky likeness nonetheless...
I'm fairly sure I remember a fad for making Andre Agassi's face by folding a fiver. Andre Agassi wearing the Queen's pearl necklace, obviously, but a spooky likeness nonetheless...
andyfaewatford
+1 -0
Goddammit Google just show me how to make Andre Agassi's face by folding a five pound note!
Sorry, Google isn't cooperating and for once I have to be somewhere shortly so I can't spend the whole night in a pointless internet venture. Next time, Google, next time...
Goddammit Google just show me how to make Andre Agassi's face by folding a five pound note!
Sorry, Google isn't cooperating and for once I have to be somewhere shortly so I can't spend the whole night in a pointless internet venture. Next time, Google, next time...
hbaranov
+0 -0
It's okay I'm sat here, with a good fiver (maybe this is why they are all daggy) However... I dunno who Andre Agassi is....
It's okay I'm sat here, with a good fiver (maybe this is why they are all daggy) However... I dunno who Andre Agassi is....
hbaranov
+0 -0
Is this it?
[IMGS OFF]
Is this it?
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Matt... Matt Damon?
Matt... Matt Damon?
professorhazard
+0 -0
Scott Thompson?
Scott Thompson?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Bob Dylan?
Bob Dylan?
irondave
+1 -0
I was told there would be Andre Agassi.
I was told there would be Andre Agassi.
thegoblins
+1 -0
Stop crumpling your five pound notes! That's more than ten dollars in American! Geez!
Stop crumpling your five pound notes! That's more than ten dollars in American! Geez!
hbaranov
+0 -0
America's economy can suck my balls.. now send me cheap PC parts
America's economy can suck my balls.. now send me cheap PC parts
andyfaewatford
+2 -0
No, it was something to do with folding a five pound note with another one, so you get half the queen's face and half of someone else's and- voila - you get Andre Agassi. Something like (but obviously not actually) this:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Although, thinking on it, it's entirely possible that they've changed the faces on the backs of the notes since I first heard about it. Goddam you obscure indusrialists/politicians/writers and the public's changing attitudes towards you...
No, it was something to do with folding a five pound note with another one, so you get half the queen's face and half of someone else's and- voila - you get Andre Agassi. Something like (but obviously not actually) this:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Although, thinking on it, it's entirely possible that they've changed the faces on the backs of the notes since I first heard about it. Goddam you obscure indusrialists/politicians/writers and the public's changing attitudes towards you...
andyfaewatford
+0 -0
And I've just realised you said you don't know who Andre Agassi is. I should've just told you you had it and not bothered fannying around so much with Paint...
Yes. You read that right. Paint!
And I've just realised you said you don't know who Andre Agassi is. I should've just told you you had it and not bothered fannying around so much with Paint...
Yes. You read that right. Paint!
aliiis
+1 -0
this whole thread is making me laugh inordinately, me ole mucker (I am actually fae London, not an American trying to do british slang). I totally don't remember the fad, but thank you for the improbable amount of (pretty smooth) chuckles generated by you trying to recreate an image of Andre Kirk Agassi wearing the Queen's pearl necklace on the internet with Paint.
this whole thread is making me laugh inordinately, me ole mucker (I am actually fae London, not an American trying to do british slang). I totally don't remember the fad, but thank you for the improbable amount of (pretty smooth) chuckles generated by you trying to recreate an image of Andre Kirk Agassi wearing the Queen's pearl necklace on the internet with Paint.
andyfaewatford
+0 -0
Just for you aliiis, I found Brian May:
[IMGS OFF]
Just for you aliiis, I found Brian May:
[IMGS OFF]
andyfaewatford
+1 -0
Whoops:
[IMGS OFF]
Whoops:
[IMGS OFF]
aliiis
+0 -0
that... that's PERFECT! and on a gude auld Scottish poond note as well. This is the best asset ever.
sister i need chubbies
(to give to you, I mean, apparently I am fresh out :\ )
that... that's PERFECT! and on a gude auld Scottish poond note as well. This is the best asset ever.
sister i need chubbies
(to give to you, I mean, apparently I am fresh out :\ )
andyfaewatford
+2 -0
"Best asset ever"? Now you've gone and made Brian blush...
[IMGS OFF]
That's right. Paint!
"Best asset ever"? Now you've gone and made Brian blush...
[IMGS OFF]
That's right. Paint!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Looks more like she made Brian homicidal, or gave him a bad case of the herps.
Looks more like she made Brian homicidal, or gave him a bad case of the herps.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
Wow.. Brits can't get away with *anything*
Wow.. Brits can't get away with *anything*
pravda
+0 -0
This is rad. You are rad. You are a rad person for doing this. Thank you.
This is rad. You are rad. You are a rad person for doing this. Thank you.
professorhazard
+0 -0
If only someone had noticed the impending roller skate that forecasts doom for young Philippe!
If only someone had noticed the impending roller skate that forecasts doom for young Philippe!
lrosetw8
+0 -0
I wonder if his long pauses make people think he is of low mind.
I think he just likes to answer things very very carefully.
I wonder if his long pauses make people think he is of low mind.
I think he just likes to answer things very very carefully.
stagnantdisplay
+0 -0
Nice Pete = Steve Merritt?
(Hint- Yes.)
Nice Pete = Steve Merritt?
(Hint- Yes.)
lrosetw8
+0 -1
It's funny that you say that because today a girl did a Magnetic Fields marathon on the college radio station.
It's funny that you say that because today a girl did a Magnetic Fields marathon on the college radio station.
achilleselbow
+5 -0
I like to think of each pause as him deciding whether or not he wants the other person to Die.
I like to think of each pause as him deciding whether or not he wants the other person to Die.
backdraft
+2 -0
"Hmmmm, Lyle has just shown me a trick he assumed I didn't already know. Should I a) remove all his teeth, fashion them into a knife and proceed to feed him his own liver, before disposing of the body in a bathful of acid, or b) show him a folding money trick of my own?"
"Hmmmm, Lyle has just shown me a trick he assumed I didn't already know. Should I a) remove all his teeth, fashion them into a knife and proceed to feed him his own liver, before disposing of the body in a bathful of acid, or b) show him a folding money trick of my own?"
noah_j
+2 -0
nice pete: the text adventure
lyle has presented to you a trick of a fashion similar to one you are previously aware of. you feel compelled to quietly best him .
:check inventory
you have a knife, and a two dollar bill .
:fold two dollar bill at the left-most quarter upwards at a 30 degree angle
you now have a once folded two dollar bill .
:fold once folded two dollar bill in half lengthwise downwards at a 70 degree angle
you now have a twice folded dollar bill .
etc.
nice pete: the text adventure
lyle has presented to you a trick of a fashion similar to one you are previously aware of. you feel compelled to quietly best him .
:check inventory
you have a knife, and a two dollar bill .
:fold two dollar bill at the left-most quarter upwards at a 30 degree angle
you now have a once folded two dollar bill .
:fold once folded two dollar bill in half lengthwise downwards at a 70 degree angle
you now have a twice folded dollar bill .
etc.
noah_j
+0 -0
these pauses are pauses of consideration.
nice pete never says the wrong thing.
these pauses are pauses of consideration.
nice pete never says the wrong thing.
falseprophet
+7 -1
If he's not careful people will think he's an elitist.
[IMGS OFF]
Fuckin' douchebag.
If he's not careful people will think he's an elitist.
[IMGS OFF]
Fuckin' douchebag.
zombiezero
+0 -0
Nice Pete's eyes perk up slightly between panels 2 and 3, as he remembers he just happens to have a two dollar bill on his person.
Nice Pete's eyes perk up slightly between panels 2 and 3, as he remembers he just happens to have a two dollar bill on his person.
odei
+0 -0
I was thinking the pause was so he could get a $2 bill out of his pocket without visibly moving.
I was thinking the pause was so he could get a $2 bill out of his pocket without visibly moving.
themacktruck
+0 -0
I believe it is because he is recreating the images Lyle mentions before answering. He would not want to be dishonest.
I believe it is because he is recreating the images Lyle mentions before answering. He would not want to be dishonest.
aristagoras
+1 -1
Very, very nice. The Nice Pete pause, the lovable inconsequentiality that is Lyle, and an idea that no one but Onstad could have had (on the Internet, genuine praise can be read as sarcasm; in this case, that's a misreading). This is the perfect strip to introduce folks to Achewood.
Cue the Asset Bar Faithful claiming to have attempted Pete's dollar trick, being unable to replicate it, but discovering some other odd image one can procure from currency. Likely anti-Bush (n.b.: most folks find Bush rather unlikable).
Cue the Achewood Elite creating another great animated gif (the Achewood Elite, you know who you are, are the real stars of Asset Bar).
Very, very nice. The Nice Pete pause, the lovable inconsequentiality that is Lyle, and an idea that no one but Onstad could have had (on the Internet, genuine praise can be read as sarcasm; in this case, that's a misreading). This is the perfect strip to introduce folks to Achewood.
Cue the Asset Bar Faithful claiming to have attempted Pete's dollar trick, being unable to replicate it, but discovering some other odd image one can procure from currency. Likely anti-Bush (n.b.: most folks find Bush rather unlikable).
Cue the Achewood Elite creating another great animated gif (the Achewood Elite, you know who you are, are the real stars of Asset Bar).
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
a gif of...what?
a gif of...what?
gormster
+0 -0
How to fold a two-dollar bill to reveal this scenario.
Hint - this is impossible.
How to fold a two-dollar bill to reveal this scenario.
Hint - this is impossible.
dangelder
+0 -0
I can't see myself going to fifty banks to locate a $2 bill. I'll take Onstad's word for it. His values are my values.
I can't see myself going to fifty banks to locate a $2 bill. I'll take Onstad's word for it. His values are my values.
kickstart
+2 -0
wait until your birthday; your grandpa will send you one.
wait until your birthday; your grandpa will send you one.
tekende
+2 -1
dangelder's grandpa is in a coma.
dangelder's grandpa is in a coma.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. I meant to chubby you.
Although, it is kind of lame, considering that my dangelder died from a coma. Not cool, not funny, not a good asset.
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. I meant to chubby you.
Although, it is kind of lame, considering that my dangelder died from a coma. Not cool, not funny, not a good asset.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OH MY GAWD THAT JOKE IS NOT FUNNY BLAH BLAH BLAH.
IT GOT OLD LIKE A MILLION YEARS AGO BLAH.
RAGAGAGA.
(have a chubbu. don't tell anyone.)
OH MY GAWD THAT JOKE IS NOT FUNNY BLAH BLAH BLAH.
IT GOT OLD LIKE A MILLION YEARS AGO BLAH.
RAGAGAGA.
(have a chubbu. don't tell anyone.)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i have nothing for you this time...
but maybe have this instead:
[IMGS OFF]
i have nothing for you this time...
but maybe have this instead:
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
special note: this syncs up nicely with Freezepop's Pop Music Is Not A Crime
special note: this syncs up nicely with Freezepop's Pop Music Is Not A Crime
valrus
+0 -0
HERE COMES A SPECIAL NOTE
HERE COMES A SPECIAL NOTE
akarroa
+0 -0
RAGAGAGA will now be a common phrase for me.
RAGAGAGA will now be a common phrase for me.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
THANK YOU. I feel loved! haha.
OH most helpful of the Elder Gods, it was only a reference to the fact that the last time I used the Not Cool Not Funny line I got the shit lamed out of me.
Remember, the night I threw up due to bad steak caeser salad?
Look, I now Ironically bear your HISTORY! avatar.
THANK YOU. I feel loved! haha.
OH most helpful of the Elder Gods, it was only a reference to the fact that the last time I used the Not Cool Not Funny line I got the shit lamed out of me.
Remember, the night I threw up due to bad steak caeser salad?
Look, I now Ironically bear your HISTORY! avatar.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah, i know. just felt like throwing something up there.
and now i know your reasoning behind the History gif becoming your avatar, which isn't to diss me off which is really cool.
goodwill chuppy
yeah, i know. just felt like throwing something up there.
and now i know your reasoning behind the History gif becoming your avatar, which isn't to diss me off which is really cool.
goodwill chuppy
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Aw thanks! Yeah I didn't put it up to make fun of you or anything, I just kinda thought it would be funny, since I kept bitching about that joke.
Aw thanks! Yeah I didn't put it up to make fun of you or anything, I just kinda thought it would be funny, since I kept bitching about that joke.
stereo
+0 -0
The last time I used that line (NCNFNGC) it somehow canceled out the fact that it was the first response to a comic, and I got a hojillion chubbies. Definitely not what I was expecting.
The last time I used that line (NCNFNGC) it somehow canceled out the fact that it was the first response to a comic, and I got a hojillion chubbies. Definitely not what I was expecting.
bixschmix
+0 -0
As someone not in a coma, I've decided to remedy your lame misapplication by helping out tekende.
As someone not in a coma, I've decided to remedy your lame misapplication by helping out tekende.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well the LIFE SUPPORT MACHINE CALLED and...
Well the LIFE SUPPORT MACHINE CALLED and...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the only way you could do this is with Flash so you could click a 'next step' button after you've configured the bill properly (because gifs are timed and waiting for the step to come around again would take too long and be too lame.) here is the edited-for-time tv version...
NEVERMIND I JUST CLOSED THE WRONG PROGRAM.
the only way you could do this is with Flash so you could click a 'next step' button after you've configured the bill properly (because gifs are timed and waiting for the step to come around again would take too long and be too lame.) here is the edited-for-time tv version...
NEVERMIND I JUST CLOSED THE WRONG PROGRAM.
aperson
+3 -0
It wont be a gif, it'll be an achewood strip altered so that all the characters are having an inane conversation about:
1) How they changed the strip rating when they voted.
2) Talking about laming and chubbying.
3) Memes.
4) Responding to aforementioned, with further examples.
It wont be a gif, it'll be an achewood strip altered so that all the characters are having an inane conversation about:
1) How they changed the strip rating when they voted.
2) Talking about laming and chubbying.
3) Memes.
4) Responding to aforementioned, with further examples.
aliiis
+0 -0
Is that a smoke alarm I hear? Because OWWW, BURRRRRRN !
Is that a smoke alarm I hear? Because OWWW, BURRRRRRN !
octafish
+7 -0
Fun Fact: It takes more folds to frown than it does to smile!
Fun Fact: It takes more folds to frown than it does to smile!
biancasimone
+0 -0
I'll never understand why people get so much joy out of dumb (=OMFG YOU CAN SEE FLAMING BUILDINGS) currency origami...
Nice Pete is just too classy for this world.
I'll never understand why people get so much joy out of dumb (=OMFG YOU CAN SEE FLAMING BUILDINGS) currency origami...
Nice Pete is just too classy for this world.
sje46
+2 -0
Because they know it was a consoiracy planned out OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO.
OPEN YOUR EYES< CONFORMIST.
Because they know it was a consoiracy planned out OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO.
OPEN YOUR EYES< CONFORMIST.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
A comment left by autrepoupee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by putamare, cdumas, vorrishnikov)
A comment left by autrepoupee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by putamare, cdumas, vorrishnikov)
sje46
+0 -0
IT goes all the way back to lincoln!!
IT goes all the way back to lincoln!!
gormster
+6 -1
Oh my god! It was the %u2013! HOW COULD WE BE SO BLIND
Oh my god! It was the %u2013! HOW COULD WE BE SO BLIND
hatstand_mcq
+13 -0
"Grand Knight. Some of us have come up with an awesome plan to build some large towers, then decades later persuade a Mohammedan to crash a flying machine into them."
"That makes a lot of sense. Could you see if we can get a picture of the act being performed onto American currency?"
"What a fabulous idea!"
"Grand Knight. Some of us have come up with an awesome plan to build some large towers, then decades later persuade a Mohammedan to crash a flying machine into them."
"That makes a lot of sense. Could you see if we can get a picture of the act being performed onto American currency?"
"What a fabulous idea!"
chachibenji
+1 -0
I am lovin on some phit phit phit phit.
I am lovin on some phit phit phit phit.
lrosetw8
+0 -0
Yea, the best sound effects can be found in this webcomic.
My favorite: pouf
Yea, the best sound effects can be found in this webcomic.
My favorite: pouf
littlefatdog
+0 -0
Aw, everyone knows [i]*Splut!* is the best reoccurring sound effect in Achewood!
Aw, everyone knows [i]*Splut!* is the best reoccurring sound effect in Achewood!
littlefatdog
+1 -0
[/i]
[/i]
speccer
+1 -0
Also: *KOODGE*
Also: *KOODGE*
ojnabieoot
+0 -0
Don't forget *ARBLE GABBLE GOBBLE GREEBLE*
Don't forget *ARBLE GABBLE GOBBLE GREEBLE*
elzilcho
+0 -0
I totally thought you were being ironic 'til Google proved me wrong.
I will never see that strip the same way again.
I totally thought you were being ironic 'til Google proved me wrong.
I will never see that strip the same way again.
akarroa
+0 -0
And maybe "EROGHREE-VAGH-GUH-GUH-GUH"
And maybe "EROGHREE-VAGH-GUH-GUH-GUH"
akarroa
+0 -0
just saw the post below. I now retreat back to lurker status out of shame. T-T
just saw the post below. I now retreat back to lurker status out of shame. T-T
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Don't feel too bad. I've been waiting for months to put that symphony of guttural frustration on here in some way.
Don't feel too bad. I've been waiting for months to put that symphony of guttural frustration on here in some way.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Sorry but Phillipe learning to blow a bubble is the apex of Onstadian sound effects:
PFF
PFFF
POP!
CHEW CHEW
mmurrrgh
ERROGHEE-VAGH-GUH-GUH-GUH!
ah-groobah-pfuh!
UHMURRGH!
AWARRRGH-
WHANK!
KRAK
fin
Close second: Ray vomiting while looking into Beef's eyes.
Sorry but Phillipe learning to blow a bubble is the apex of Onstadian sound effects:
PFF
PFFF
POP!
CHEW CHEW
mmurrrgh
ERROGHEE-VAGH-GUH-GUH-GUH!
ah-groobah-pfuh!
UHMURRGH!
AWARRRGH-
WHANK!
KRAK
fin
Close second: Ray vomiting while looking into Beef's eyes.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Eroghree********** :(:(:(:(
Eroghree********** :(:(:(:(
snitchy
+0 -0
A comment left by snitchy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by blacksheepboy, asobi, perhapsmaybe, aperson)
A comment left by snitchy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by blacksheepboy, asobi, perhapsmaybe, aperson)
octafish
+0 -0
BFW
BFW
noah_j
+1 -1
snitchy for the minor win
snitchy for the minor win
tekende
+1 -1
Can we stop talking about this? I don't think anyone cares anymore.
Can we stop talking about this? I don't think anyone cares anymore.
autrepoupee
+5 -0
Ah, the last folding also spells out Barney! Which, iffing you didn't know, is the name for the President's dog. At least, the only name he is given that our human tongue can comprehend.
The lizards have given him a wholly different moniker. One far more dark and disturbing. For you see, man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality...
Ah, the last folding also spells out Barney! Which, iffing you didn't know, is the name for the President's dog. At least, the only name he is given that our human tongue can comprehend.
The lizards have given him a wholly different moniker. One far more dark and disturbing. For you see, man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality...
drskradley
+10 -1
Well spotted. A Google search proves it:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
As does: https://www.whitehouse.gov/barney/
Well spotted. A Google search proves it:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
As does: https://www.whitehouse.gov/barney/
sje46
+3 -1
Bush actuallt takes orders from Barney. DID YOU KNO?!?!
I have evidence but the CIA took it away and beat me up!!
Bush actuallt takes orders from Barney. DID YOU KNO?!?!
I have evidence but the CIA took it away and beat me up!!
sn0wman
+0 -0
Do the lizard people call Barney 'Sam?'
Do the lizard people call Barney 'Sam?'
octafish
+0 -0
You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old mans money
You can rely on the old mans money
It's a bitch girl but it's gone too far
'cause you know it don't matter anyway
Say money but it won't get you too far,
Get you too far
Berkowitz claimed he got in the mood to kill by listening to Hall and Oates, that is some scary shit.
You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old mans money
You can rely on the old mans money
It's a bitch girl but it's gone too far
'cause you know it don't matter anyway
Say money but it won't get you too far,
Get you too far
Berkowitz claimed he got in the mood to kill by listening to Hall and Oates, that is some scary shit.
sje46
+0 -0
OMG I LUV THE BEETLEZZZ!!!
<3
OMG I LUV THE BEETLEZZZ!!!
<3
hbaranov
+0 -0
It's okay, I hate you, so the love-hate balance is restored.
It's okay, I hate you, so the love-hate balance is restored.
sje46
+0 -0
Meh?
Why do you hate me?
I know that that isn't a Beatles song. I was pretending to be dumb.
Meh?
Why do you hate me?
I know that that isn't a Beatles song. I was pretending to be dumb.
lrosetw8
+0 -0
DO YOU SEE???
DO YOU SEE???
odei
+0 -1
[IMGS OFF]
Obey or face his wrath.
[IMGS OFF]
Obey or face his wrath.
deovalente
+1 -0
I so need to learn how to do this! All I can do is make one dollar bills into bow ties with George Washington's face in the center. I leave them as tips.
I so need to learn how to do this! All I can do is make one dollar bills into bow ties with George Washington's face in the center. I leave them as tips.
sje46
+4 -0
The only one I know how to do is Obama performing cunnilingus on Hilary Clinton on the new five. Sorry.
The only one I know how to do is Obama performing cunnilingus on Hilary Clinton on the new five. Sorry.
tekende
+0 -2
I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, a fan!
No problem. Just $3 a month! I just need your credit card number (you can trust me).
Oh, a fan!
No problem. Just $3 a month! I just need your credit card number (you can trust me).
elzilcho
+1 -0
I heard they're adding that exact picture as the new watermark next year.
I mean, after that giant purple Helvetica "5", what else are they gonna do?
I heard they're adding that exact picture as the new watermark next year.
I mean, after that giant purple Helvetica "5", what else are they gonna do?
ford
+0 -0
Don't dis the five at least it isn't Arial.
Or God forbid...
Comic Sans
Don't dis the five at least it isn't Arial.
Or God forbid...
Comic Sans
lrosetw8
+0 -1
Aw, cute! Does that impress your ladyfriends? Because it certainly impresses me.
Aw, cute! Does that impress your ladyfriends? Because it certainly impresses me.
deovalente
+0 -0
It does impress them, which pleases me. I like to impress the single ones most, but I've found that they don't exist at my age in my town...and even when I do find one I kinda just fidget and kick at the dirt nervously. :P
It does impress them, which pleases me. I like to impress the single ones most, but I've found that they don't exist at my age in my town...and even when I do find one I kinda just fidget and kick at the dirt nervously. :P
riazm
+2 -0
Aww shucks it's just a greenback bowtie. Weren't nothin' I couldn't teach a fella.
Aww shucks it's just a greenback bowtie. Weren't nothin' I couldn't teach a fella.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
There are no 23 year old single girls in your town? Do you perchance live on the Yearning for Zion Ranch or something?
There are no 23 year old single girls in your town? Do you perchance live on the Yearning for Zion Ranch or something?
tekende
+1 -0
Man, most girls around the age of 23 have boyfriends. In my experience, at least.
Or this is what they tell me when I ask them out.
Man, most girls around the age of 23 have boyfriends. In my experience, at least.
Or this is what they tell me when I ask them out.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
yeah, i get that a lot, too.
yeah, i get that a lot, too.
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
Shhh.... sometimes we are lying!
Shhh.... sometimes we are lying!
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
(but not to you guys.)
(but not to you guys.)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, I have always suspected that those of the fairer sex are in fact capable of lying.
And now I am taking my anger to the streets.
Man, I have always suspected that those of the fairer sex are in fact capable of lying.
And now I am taking my anger to the streets.
kamet
+0 -0
Don't go all Kevin Bacon Flashdance , okay?
Don't go all Kevin Bacon Flashdance , okay?
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
you mean Kevin Bacon, Footloose .
I swear I'm not gay.
you mean Kevin Bacon, Footloose .
I swear I'm not gay.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah, Flashdance is a totally different movie about dancing.
Yeah, Flashdance is a totally different movie about dancing.
kamet
+0 -0
Schnikes. Eh, all 80's dancing movies that begin with an F blend together in my mind.
Schnikes. Eh, all 80's dancing movies that begin with an F blend together in my mind.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Even FistFuckDance ?
Even FistFuckDance ?
kamet
+0 -0
ESPECIALLY that one.
ESPECIALLY that one.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I preferred FistFuckDance 2: Electric Boogaloo myself, but I ain't gonna quibble.
I preferred FistFuckDance 2: Electric Boogaloo myself, but I ain't gonna quibble.
tekende
+0 -0
They are all lying
All the time
They are all lying
All the time
theguitarhero
+0 -0
even right now.
even right now.
deovalente
+0 -0
My town has a population of 1,829 according to Wikipedia, the Great Wizard of the internet. The only girls I see outside are either 18 with three kids or 13 with skateboards.
My town has a population of 1,829 according to Wikipedia, the Great Wizard of the internet. The only girls I see outside are either 18 with three kids or 13 with skateboards.
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
So buy a skateboard.
So buy a skateboard.
sje46
+0 -0
So move away.
So move away.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Take to drink. Try the bar scene.
Take to drink. Try the bar scene.
caseyb3
+1 -0
Wikipedia, the Great Wizard of the internet.
wp: the free encyclopedia any Aryan can edit
Wikipedia, the Great Wizard of the internet.
wp: the free encyclopedia any Aryan can edit
hbaranov
+0 -0
Oooooh, Score!
Oooooh, Score!
falseprophet
+1 -0
Ooh sorry we needed Grand Wizard. Grand Wizard was necessary to make that joke work...
Ooh sorry we needed Grand Wizard. Grand Wizard was necessary to make that joke work...
hbaranov
+0 -0
I know.. but, I approved the attempt
I know.. but, I approved the attempt
squares
+0 -0
did you look inside?
did you look inside?
eatmorekix
+0 -2
it might impress ladies, but i'm sure it's not much appreciated by whomever you're tipping.
it might impress ladies, but i'm sure it's not much appreciated by whomever you're tipping.
jackscolon
+0 -0
Pete's pause is great timing. It's really a question you shouldn't answer lightly.
Pete's pause is great timing. It's really a question you shouldn't answer lightly.
theirateturk
+1 -0
You can do this with the old (old) style £20 and make the queen look like she is giving a blowjob
You can do this with the old (old) style £20 and make the queen look like she is giving a blowjob
theirateturk
+0 -1
£££ ?
£££ ?
theirateturk
+0 -1
; 9
; 9
irondave
+0 -0
That's ridiculous! The Queen is not on American currency.
That's ridiculous! The Queen is not on American currency.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That you know of!
That you know of!
pogo
+0 -0
Not yet, anyway!
Not yet, anyway!
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
squares
+1 -0
She'll teach us how to prepare chicken!
She'll teach us how to prepare chicken!
history
+0 -0
I wish she was...it would then be worth twice its current value.
I wish she was...it would then be worth twice its current value.
tekende
+0 -0
Will someone please photoshop an American bill with Freddie Mercury on it? I tried, but all I have here at work is MS Paint and it is not good for things like that.
Will someone please photoshop an American bill with Freddie Mercury on it? I tried, but all I have here at work is MS Paint and it is not good for things like that.
irondave
+0 -0
I can't fulfill your request, but I will tell you this: Andrew Jackson looks pretty boss with Wayfarers and a soul patch.
I can't fulfill your request, but I will tell you this: Andrew Jackson looks pretty boss with Wayfarers and a soul patch.
mikekitchell
+1 -0
NICE PETE LOOKS DIFFERENT
OR I AM DRUNK
NICE PETE LOOKS DIFFERENT
OR I AM DRUNK
sje46
+1 -0
I'm guessing both.
I'm guessing both.
ajthesecond
+0 -0
oh alt-text, you never cease to entertain and bemuse me
oh alt-text, you never cease to entertain and bemuse me
dangelder
+0 -1
Bemuse is one of those words you have no idea you're using incorrectly until some guy on Assetbar tells you it doesn't mean 'amuse' at all.
Bemuse is one of those words you have no idea you're using incorrectly until some guy on Assetbar tells you it doesn't mean 'amuse' at all.
loneal
+0 -2
Technically he could be confused by the alt text. I know I'm confused about the pronunciation of that crazy wop name.
Technically he could be confused by the alt text. I know I'm confused about the pronunciation of that crazy wop name.
theirateturk
+0 -1
RACIST
RACIST
autrepoupee
+0 -1
wops dont count
everyone knows that !
:__)
wops dont count
everyone knows that !
:__)
theirateturk
+0 -1
I thought I had found a home in Assetbar but it turns out I've been sharing my bed with RACISTS.
:(
I thought I had found a home in Assetbar but it turns out I've been sharing my bed with RACISTS.
:(
autrepoupee
+4 -0
sheesh guys check out THIS puddinghead!
what a pasta fazulli!
sheesh guys check out THIS puddinghead!
what a pasta fazulli!
achilleselbow
+3 -0
From this and the "kitten's got claws comment" on the previous strip, I've concluded that autrepoupee is not a 19 year old girl but rather a 50 year old man from Brooklyn.
From this and the "kitten's got claws comment" on the previous strip, I've concluded that autrepoupee is not a 19 year old girl but rather a 50 year old man from Brooklyn.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Do you not remember the Great Handface Weekend? For a middle-aged man, she's surprisingly hottt.
Do you not remember the Great Handface Weekend? For a middle-aged man, she's surprisingly hottt.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HAWT!
HAWT!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
how do you know (s)he didn't steal those pictures from the internet
how do you know
how do you know (s)he didn't steal those pictures from the internet
how do you know
theguitarhero
+0 -0
how do you know (s)he did?
how do you know (s)he did?
aperson
+5 -0
...and that's why Intelligent Design is science!
...and that's why Intelligent Design is science!
autrepoupee
+2 -0
Three t's, oi, you kidses flatterin' this ol' salty dog!
and i don't even know an innernet-- i just got email!
Three t's, oi, you kidses flatterin' this ol' salty dog!
and i don't even know an innernet-- i just got email!
aliiis
+0 -0
I would hereby like to recommend that everyone reads these comments, as I just have, whilst picturing Ernest Borgnine playing the taxi driver in Escape From New York .
Enjoyable!
[IMGS OFF]
Also, me chub you long time, autre.
I would hereby like to recommend that everyone reads these comments, as I just have, whilst picturing Ernest Borgnine playing the taxi driver in Escape From New York .
Enjoyable!
[IMGS OFF]
Also, me chub you long time, autre.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Nobody sees the Duke!
Nobody sees the Duke!
octafish
+0 -0
Onepapertiger? I heard you were dead.
Onepapertiger? I heard you were dead.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
From who? I was unaware I had a reputation.
From who? I was unaware I had a reputation.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
well ain't that a kick in the pants! don't be a maroon, ask pogo, we've known each other since we was pups ya see!
well ain't that a kick in the pants! don't be a maroon, ask pogo, we've known each other since we was pups ya see!
pogo
+0 -0
I'll testify to that, dollface.
I'll testify to that, dollface.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Your girlfriend, on the other hand, has been sharing her bed with just about everyone.
Your girlfriend, on the other hand, has been sharing her bed with just about everyone.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Hi yo.
Hi yo.
theirateturk
+0 -0
whoa man that's NOT cool
whoa man that's NOT cool
i_love_kate
+0 -0
As opposed to your girlfriend, who's cool with just about anything.
I am talking about anal bum-fisting.
As opposed to your girlfriend, who's cool with just about anything.
I am talking about anal bum-fisting.
irondave
+1 -0
Not to be confused with those other forms of bum-fisting.
Not to be confused with those other forms of bum-fisting.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
There is such thing as female homeless people, you know.
(Think about it. It'll come.)
There is such thing as female homeless people, you know.
(Think about it. It'll come.)
irondave
+0 -0
Touche.
(Supply your own diacritical mark thingy to the e. I'm in no mood for Assetbar shenanigans.)
Touche.
(Supply your own diacritical mark thingy to the e. I'm in no mood for Assetbar shenanigans.)
akarroa
+0 -0
I think it's touché . Otherwise it would be like touchebag.
I think it's touché . Otherwise it would be like touchebag.
irondave
+0 -0
I can't for the life of me understand.... Oh, never mind.
I can't for the life of me understand.... Oh, never mind.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I keep thinking about it over and over, and no come at all! What's the deal man?
I keep thinking about it over and over, and no come at all! What's the deal man?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Of course. Otherwise where would the little homeless people come from?
Of course. Otherwise where would the little homeless people come from?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Anal bum cover for 1000, Alex.
Anal bum cover for 1000, Alex.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
YOU KEEP TELLING US THAT!
YOU KEEP TELLING US THAT!
pogo
+0 -0
As a woman of distinction, you should learn a little Italian. The vowels never change, so every word is easy to say once you get it. Just put the accent near the end and have a little lilt to your cadence, and use your hands to gesture while you talk. It's fun.
As a woman of distinction, you should learn a little Italian. The vowels never change, so every word is easy to say once you get it. Just put the accent near the end and have a little lilt to your cadence, and use your hands to gesture while you talk. It's fun.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
After the recent flood of impostor troll accounts, I'd never have guessed it would be the real loneal who ended up in my ignore list after a singularly weak attempt to disguise racism as irony. But so it was.
After the recent flood of impostor troll accounts, I'd never have guessed it would be the real loneal who ended up in my ignore list after a singularly weak attempt to disguise racism as irony. But so it was.
loneal
+2 -0
Oops, sorry! I thought we were at the point where it was ironic to use archaic racist epithets for white people because they actually have all the privilege today?
I hereby solemnly swear to never refer to myself as a mick ever again and to come to terms with my prejudice against the Italian race and its sinister pastagenda. I know that Italians suffer from institutionalized racism every day, receiving lower salaries than their also-white counterparts and undergoing dehumanizing references to demeaning stereotypes such as their love of opera or their vigorous hand gestures. I am working on this.
Oops, sorry! I thought we were at the point where it was ironic to use archaic racist epithets for white people because they actually have all the privilege today?
I hereby solemnly swear to never refer to myself as a mick ever again and to come to terms with my prejudice against the Italian race and its sinister pastagenda. I know that Italians suffer from institutionalized racism every day, receiving lower salaries than their also-white counterparts and undergoing dehumanizing references to demeaning stereotypes such as their love of opera or their vigorous hand gestures. I am working on this.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Loneal, it's ok. You are rad.
You. Are. RAD!
Loneal, it's ok. You are rad.
You. Are. RAD!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
shh loneal keep cool man you're gonna get us all whacked !
p.s., of all the people on this Assetbar to levy a racism accusation against, Loneal? Really?
shh loneal keep cool man you're gonna get us all whacked !
p.s., of all the people on this Assetbar to levy a racism accusation against, Loneal? Really?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
If there's one thing I have learned from my immersion in academia so far, it's that everyone in the world is simultaneously sexist, racist, and homophobic, even if they don't know it, and any attempts to transcend it are even more sexist, racist, and homophobic in a way that requires at least 20 pages to explain. Case closed.
P.S. What do you say to a black Jew?
- Get in the back of the oven .
If there's one thing I have learned from my immersion in academia so far, it's that everyone in the world is simultaneously sexist, racist, and homophobic, even if they don't know it, and any attempts to transcend it are even more sexist, racist, and homophobic in a way that requires at least 20 pages to explain. Case closed.
P.S. What do you say to a black Jew?
- Get in the back of the oven .
loneal
+1 -0
See, I am the first one to admit that I have ingrained sexism and racism and homophobia, and that I probably always will no matter how hard I try to transcend it. Remember that one time I apologized about white privilege because someone else said falseprophet looked like some cartoon character? But I really just literally don't have any learned racism toward Italians aside from really harmless stereotypes about, like, cuisine. I am not offended when people start talking about Irish people drinking a lot and eating potatoes, probably because it doesn't actually do anything to threaten the incredibly privileged status Irish-Americans have. I'm pretty sure the same goes for Italians. I mean, they even get a mafia!
See, I am the first one to admit that I have ingrained sexism and racism and homophobia, and that I probably always will no matter how hard I try to transcend it. Remember that one time I apologized about white privilege because someone else said falseprophet looked like some cartoon character? But I really just literally don't have any learned racism toward Italians aside from really harmless stereotypes about, like, cuisine. I am not offended when people start talking about Irish people drinking a lot and eating potatoes, probably because it doesn't actually do anything to threaten the incredibly privileged status Irish-Americans have. I'm pretty sure the same goes for Italians. I mean, they even get a mafia!
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Every race has a mafia. The White Mafia is known as The Government
Every race has a mafia. The White Mafia is known as The Government
loneal
+0 -0
YES
YES
hamscout
+1 -0
Hillary's all like: "I want to rule the country!"
and I'm all: N.O.M. N.O.M. N.O.M.!
Hillary's all like: "I want to rule the country!"
and I'm all: N.O.M. N.O.M. N.O.M.!
squares
+0 -0
dude italians are caucasians.
dude italians are caucasians.
irondave
+0 -0
Yet neither they, nor the Irish, nor the Greeks have always been white Americans. How did they go from Not Priveleged to Priveleged?
Yet neither they, nor the Irish, nor the Greeks have always been white Americans. How did they go from Not Priveleged to Priveleged?
squares
+0 -0
the mafia.
the mafia.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Not all Caucasians are white.
Not all Caucasians are white.
octafish
+0 -0
Sorry, no, some kid ended the mafia. :(
Sorry, no, some kid ended the mafia. :(
theguitarhero
+0 -0
PHEW WHAT IS THAT ROTTEN EGGS?
PHEW WHAT IS THAT ROTTEN EGGS?
terebikun
+0 -0
I think the mafia's like the game, it can't be ended and any attempts to do so mean you lose the game. Or lose the mafia. Wait.
I think the mafia's like the game, it can't be ended and any attempts to do so mean you lose the game. Or lose the mafia. Wait.
falseprophet
+0 -0
WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS PEOPLE
THE RACE CARD IS OVER
EVERYONE GO HOME
[IMGS OFF]
WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS PEOPLE
THE RACE CARD IS OVER
EVERYONE GO HOME
[IMGS OFF]
daidai
+0 -0
LOL EARF WUD BE UR ELMEMN TIF U SUPRHERO
LOL EARF WUD BE UR ELMEMN TIF U SUPRHERO
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Okay, okay, I've un-ignored loneal.
Okay, okay, I've un-ignored loneal.
mortshire
+1 -0
It's just that "wop" is a heavily-loaded racial epithet that can still get you fired from your job for using. It's just not cool.
It's just that "wop" is a heavily-loaded racial epithet that can still get you fired from your job for using. It's just not cool.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
But... but the main character uses it in L.A. Confidential!
But... but the main character uses it in L.A. Confidential!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Hey, if you wanna ignore Loneal that's fine. But you'll be sorry if she ever decides to post naked pictures and you won't even know .
Hey, if you wanna ignore Loneal that's fine. But you'll be sorry if she ever decides to post naked pictures and you won't even know .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
She will be so nude.
The nudest she has ever beink.
and you won't even know.
She will be so nude.
The nudest she has ever beink.
and you won't even know.
snidedk
+0 -0
For pogo's sake, I hope this never happens. Given his reaction to aliiis' artsy breasts, I fear his old heart just wouldn't be able to handle actual nudity.
For pogo's sake, I hope this never happens. Given his reaction to aliiis' artsy breasts, I fear his old heart just wouldn't be able to handle actual nudity.
pogo
+0 -0
Even thinking about it gives me the vapors.
Even thinking about it gives me the vapors.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
You very nearly threw me off with your new avatar, Pogo.
very nearly
You very nearly threw me off with your new avatar, Pogo.
very nearly
pogo
+0 -0
It does make my previous post have a whole new level of meaning, but that was an accident.
It does make my previous post have a whole new level of meaning, but that was an accident.
mortshire
+0 -0
Woah, is that Ironic Hipster Racism rearing its ugly head?
Woah, is that Ironic Hipster Racism rearing its ugly head?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Are... are you referring to Pogo as a hipster?
(You might well be replying to someone else's post. It is so hard to tell, these days.)
Are... are you referring to Pogo as a hipster?
(You might well be replying to someone else's post. It is so hard to tell, these days.)
pogo
+0 -0
My track-o-post device says morty is responding to Loneal's original "wop" post.
My track-o-post device says morty is responding to Loneal's original "wop" post.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I gots to get me one of those.
I gots to get me one of those.
mortshire
+0 -0
You are correct, sir!
You are correct, sir!
theirateturk
+1 -0
I was actually going to post this but I didn't. I thought no one else would and was happy to leave it at that, but now that someone has pointed it out, I feel somewhat cheated.
I was actually going to post this but I didn't. I thought no one else would and was happy to leave it at that, but now that someone has pointed it out, I feel somewhat cheated.
daidai
+0 -1
Luckily (kind of) for you, you're used to feeling cheated.
Basketball.
Luckily (kind of) for you, you're used to feeling cheated.
Basketball.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Man, you people are really never going to let the poor man live down the infidelity of his loved ones. He puts up a tough front and all...
Man, you people are really never going to let the poor man live down the infidelity of his loved ones. He puts up a tough front and all...
tekende
+2 -1
But inside? Inside he cries. Like woman.
But inside? Inside he cries. Like woman.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Like his girlfriend did during her first anal experience at the age of fifteen.
Like his girlfriend did during her first anal experience at the age of fifteen.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm thinking this toughguy front is a way to prevent himself from seeing the truth about himself. He's the girlfriend. He's the one who enjoys being fisted, and he's the one who lost control and let a pack of basketball players roam over his tender flesh. I think we need to show a lot more kindness here. I think by calling his 'girlfriend' a slut, we are all demeaning his experiences.
It's rad that you love hands in your booty-hole theirateturk. It's rad that you let a bunch of guys bang you. It's rad that you wish you were tekende's Fleshlight.
You
Are
Rad,
theirateturk
I'm thinking this toughguy front is a way to prevent himself from seeing the truth about himself. He's the girlfriend. He's the one who enjoys being fisted, and he's the one who lost control and let a pack of basketball players roam over his tender flesh. I think we need to show a lot more kindness here. I think by calling his 'girlfriend' a slut, we are all demeaning his experiences.
It's rad that you love hands in your booty-hole theirateturk. It's rad that you let a bunch of guys bang you. It's rad that you wish you were tekende's Fleshlight.
You
Are
Rad,
theirateturk
theirateturk
+0 -0
That looks like it's a very interesting read
That looks like it's a very interesting read
morypcaina
+0 -0
V Chub
V Chub
aperson
+0 -0
'Bot, I think you are right apart from one thing: he's still a guy.
'Bot, I think you are right apart from one thing: he's still a guy.
ajthesecond
+0 -0
now I'm actually bemused
now I'm actually bemused
hiboy
+0 -0
Nice Pete can show you how to get blood stains out of a sweater with a twenty.
Nice Pete can show you how to get blood stains out of a sweater with a twenty.
gyrate
+0 -0
Don't be ridiculous. Fivers are much more absorbent.
Don't be ridiculous. Fivers are much more absorbent.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Fivers do not come out of the ATM at three in the morning. Nice Pete knows how to take care of blood with the crassest available resources. True survivalist.
Fivers do not come out of the ATM at three in the morning. Nice Pete knows how to take care of blood with the crassest available resources. True survivalist.
aparrish
+1 -0
Nice Pete's joy here is unmitigated, almost infectious--just look at that grin in the last panel! He is clearly having fun, and it is good to see him having fun when he is doing something other than killing.
Nice Pete's joy here is unmitigated, almost infectious--just look at that grin in the last panel! He is clearly having fun, and it is good to see him having fun when he is doing something other than killing.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
It is good to see you having fun with origami rather than with killing people Peter, although I still worry that you are so thin.
It is good to see you having fun with origami rather than with killing people Peter, although I still worry that you are so thin.
gyrate
+0 -0
Clearly he should eat more cheese.
Clearly he should eat more cheese.
syx
+0 -0
And keep it on, as weight.
And keep it on, as weight.
gyrate
+2 -1
This has always been a problem for me, in that I keep it on as height. I am currently 14 feet tall.
This has always been a problem for me, in that I keep it on as height. I am currently 14 feet tall.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Apparently, I lamed you. I don't remember doing this and can only offer my heartfelt apologies.
Apparently, I lamed you. I don't remember doing this and can only offer my heartfelt apologies.
loneal
+0 -0
Onstad seems to be preoccupied with earning the respect of dogs. This is the second strip he's made about it.
Onstad seems to be preoccupied with earning the respect of dogs. This is the second strip he's made about it.
theirateturk
+2 -1
This is beacuse Dogs > Cats duh
This is beacuse Dogs > Cats duh
chuvak
+1 -0
No dude cats are way tastier.
No dude cats are way tastier.
cracklewater
+0 -1
You are of Low mind.
You are of Low mind.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Man, I thought I was the only one that knew this trick. Onstad must have gone to the same back alley tattoo parlor in Waco that I went to!
Man, I thought I was the only one that knew this trick. Onstad must have gone to the same back alley tattoo parlor in Waco that I went to!
squares
+0 -0
jesus christ man stay the fuck away from Waco!
jesus christ man stay the fuck away from Waco!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Or what? You'll kill me? Like you killed Ensign Lynch?!
Or what? You'll kill me? Like you killed Ensign Lynch?!
squares
+0 -0
...For your health .
...For your health .
bixschmix
+0 -0
Yeah man, there's no reason to go to Waco. I did my thesis on a guy who got framed for a triple murder there. Bad juju, Waco has.
Yeah man, there's no reason to go to Waco. I did my thesis on a guy who got framed for a triple murder there. Bad juju, Waco has.
professorhazard
+2 -0
What if my reason for going was that I needed to frame a guy for a triple homicide?
What if my reason for going was that I needed to frame a guy for a triple homicide?
tekende
+0 -0
I think you would need to be in some position of legal authority in order to really make it work. You're thinking, though, I like that.
I think you would need to be in some position of legal authority in order to really make it work. You're thinking, though, I like that.
squares
+0 -0
did the state kill him? god i hate waco.
did the state kill him? god i hate waco.
bixschmix
+0 -0
There were 4 guys that got framed for a triple murder in the 80s. One was executed, one died in jail, one is still in jail, and one was completely exonerated. Pretty much the same evidence for all, with some slight differences.
Oh, Waco! Oh, Texas!
There were 4 guys that got framed for a triple murder in the 80s. One was executed, one died in jail, one is still in jail, and one was completely exonerated. Pretty much the same evidence for all, with some slight differences.
Oh, Waco! Oh, Texas!
charchar
+0 -0
If you have a time machine you can go to the first Dr. Pepper factory.
Or join the Branch Davidians.
If you have a time machine you can go to the first Dr. Pepper factory.
Or join the Branch Davidians.
akarroa
+0 -0
Um...you don't need one. It's still there, and if you bring empty glass Dr. Pepper bottles, they refill them for you. :)
Um...you don't need one. It's still there, and if you bring empty glass Dr. Pepper bottles, they refill them for you. :)
dangelder
+0 -0
Rubin Carter?
Rubin Carter?
sje46
+0 -0
My friends wrote a novel about Ruben Carter in high school, going around and killing everyone. It was quite odd, and not at all serious.
But no, he was not the guy at Waco. He was the guy in the pool house.
My friends wrote a novel about Ruben Carter in high school, going around and killing everyone. It was quite odd, and not at all serious.
But no, he was not the guy at Waco. He was the guy in the pool house.
akarroa
+0 -0
professor, are you from Texas? (I'm going off this comment and your favorite animal, armadillos) If so, we should totally hang out.
professor, are you from Texas? (I'm going off this comment and your favorite animal, armadillos) If so, we should totally hang out.
squares
+0 -1
don't be crazy. hanging out with those 11 years older than you is totally hazardous.
don't be crazy. hanging out with those 11 years older than you is totally hazardous.
possums
+0 -0
So this confirms it: the guy from THIS strip is definitely Nice Pete, except he's using punctuation for whatever weird reason.
So this confirms it: the guy from THIS strip is definitely Nice Pete, except he's using punctuation for whatever weird reason.
tekende
+0 -0
Nice Pete has been using punctuation for a while now. He started out talking like Beef and now he does his own thing, making punctuation conform to his own rules of grammar.
Nice Pete has been using punctuation for a while now. He started out talking like Beef and now he does his own thing, making punctuation conform to his own rules of grammar.
possums
+0 -0
We've been over this. When writing, he uses punctuation. Otherwise, when talking, he doesn't. This is a constant.
We've been over this. When writing, he uses punctuation. Otherwise, when talking, he doesn't. This is a constant.
possums
+0 -0
Except for the wedding of course. He was probably trying to be nice. Which is creepy.
Except for the wedding of course. He was probably trying to be nice. Which is creepy.
terebikun
+0 -0
Come on, he's just trying to live up to his name. The...unpleasant bits of his life are just stumbles on the road to being Nice.
Come on, he's just trying to live up to his name. The...unpleasant bits of his life are just stumbles on the road to being Nice.
tekende
+0 -0
That is incorrect, sorry.
That is incorrect, sorry.
possums
+0 -0
Huh. So Onstad is being kind of inconsistent. That sucks, and is unlike him.
Huh. So Onstad is being kind of inconsistent. That sucks, and is unlike him.
possums
+0 -0
Also I love how in the first few panels it looks like Nice Pete is sizing up Lyle pretty good, trying to see if he takes him for a man of low mind or not.
Also I love how in the first few panels it looks like Nice Pete is sizing up Lyle pretty good, trying to see if he takes him for a man of low mind or not.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Nice Pete thinks Lyle is the Woman of bill-folding.
Nice Pete thinks Lyle is the Woman of bill-folding.
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
He is considering whether to admit he has not seen such a feat performed, and whether that will make him inferior to Lyle. Then he remembers his trick.
Nice save, Nice Pete!
He is considering whether to admit he has not seen such a feat performed, and whether that will make him inferior to Lyle. Then he remembers his trick.
Nice save, Nice Pete!
paby
+0 -0
Its true, though. About the dogs.
Its true, though. About the dogs.
saulbellow
+1 -0
This reminds me of those Mad magazine fold-in things, wotta laff!
Which reminds me, how's your mom, Ed?
This reminds me of those Mad magazine fold-in things, wotta laff!
Which reminds me, how's your mom, Ed?
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
she's fine, Dad.
she's fine, Dad.
saulbellow
+0 -0
I'll say she is - wotta bilt!
I'll say she is - wotta bilt!
gyrate
+0 -0
Chubby for the Harvey Kurtzman nod.
Chubby for the Harvey Kurtzman nod.
woodenteeth
+0 -1
This is as close as Onstad has come to direct, current political satire. Discuss.
It's the subtlest Bush-bashin' you'll ever see. This IS style kids. Fuck the "looking for LOLers", Onstad could produce this kind of smooth comment for the rest of his days for my money.
Oh. Pun. Just there. Eeeeshh. Never mind that.
This is as close as Onstad has come to direct, current political satire. Discuss.
It's the subtlest Bush-bashin' you'll ever see. This IS style kids. Fuck the "looking for LOLers", Onstad could produce this kind of smooth comment for the rest of his days for my money.
Oh. Pun. Just there. Eeeeshh. Never mind that.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think he's come a bit closer before.
I think he's come a bit closer before.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think that was more a satire on political satire than a satire on politics.
I think that was more a satire on political satire than a satire on politics.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
This one is probably a better example. In some interview I read a while back, though, he seemed to intone that this was a one off and didn't really like it that much...I think?
This one is probably a better example. In some interview I read a while back, though, he seemed to intone that this was a one off and didn't really like it that much...I think?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Ahhh... wow, yeah, that's a an out and out attack really. Lucky I saved myself with the Discuss part of my comment.
Ahhh... wow, yeah, that's a an out and out attack really. Lucky I saved myself with the Discuss part of my comment.
irondave
+0 -0
I find Pat's whole persona to be a satire of a certain kind of leftist.
I find Pat's whole persona to be a satire of a certain kind of leftist.
daidai
+2 -0
Kind of reminds me of my lesbian friend who stopped eating meat about the same time she stopped eating meat.
goddammit that was a pun i hate those i am dirty this is bad why am i trash
Kind of reminds me of my lesbian friend who stopped eating meat about the same time she stopped eating meat.
goddammit that was a pun i hate those i am dirty this is bad why am i trash
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I don't get it. All the lesbyists I know eat roast beef three times a day.
I don't get it. All the lesbyists I know eat roast beef three times a day.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Kazenzakis got mooves
Kazenzakis got mooves
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
As bad as it already was, I first read that as "who stopped eating me out about the same time..."
...and then suddenly I pictured your lesbian friend as a big spider, for some reason.
As bad as it already was, I first read that as "who stopped eating me out about the same time..."
...and then suddenly I pictured your lesbian friend as a big spider, for some reason.
daidai
+0 -0
Oh god you made me think of a spider with Shannon's stupid spiked up girl-boy hair I wasn't ready for that
Oh god you made me think of a spider with Shannon's stupid spiked up girl-boy hair I wasn't ready for that
charchar
+0 -0
I'm a bisexual vegetarian with hairy pits. I feel like such a cliche (pronouced cleesh , I suppose);
In other news: hey, Assetbar! It turns out I do enjoy female company!
I'm a bisexual vegetarian with hairy pits. I feel like such a cliche (pronouced cleesh , I suppose);
In other news: hey, Assetbar! It turns out I do enjoy female company!
professorhazard
+0 -0
I don't find you attractive any more, Ghost House.
I don't find you attractive any more, Ghost House.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Just how hairy are we talking here?
Just how hairy are we talking here?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
achilleselbow is willing to compromise.
achilleselbow is willing to compromise.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
POOPY VAGINAS!
POOPY VAGINAS!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That is not a matter of compromise. Hairy armpits may be acceptable, but vaginae are to remain poop-free at all times.
That is not a matter of compromise. Hairy armpits may be acceptable, but vaginae are to remain poop-free at all times.
tekende
+0 -0
achilleselbow is not into anal sex, or at least is very careful about it.
achilleselbow is not into anal sex, or at least is very careful about it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm no expert on this, but I'm pretty sure that if you're not only encountering poop but getting it into a completely different orifice it means YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG .
I'm no expert on this, but I'm pretty sure that if you're not only encountering poop but getting it into a completely different orifice it means YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG .
tekende
+0 -0
I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know.
charchar
+0 -0
I'm Swedish and Cherokee, and actually not very hairy at all. It kind of pissed me off when the first three months after I quit I only had some vague stubble. It looked more like laziness than any intentional statement. DAMN YOU genetics!
My brother is nearly 16 and he still doesn't have to shave. I told him he was starting to get a moustache to mess with him.
I'm Swedish and Cherokee, and actually not very hairy at all. It kind of pissed me off when the first three months after I quit I only had some vague stubble. It looked more like laziness than any intentional statement. DAMN YOU genetics!
My brother is nearly 16 and he still doesn't have to shave. I told him he was starting to get a moustache to mess with him.
loneal
+0 -0
Mad respect from this chick!
Mad respect from this chick!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Moooooommm! loneal wants to kiss charchar on the titties!
Moooooommm! loneal wants to kiss charchar on the titties!
loneal
+0 -0
I didn't get my officer title in the Assetbar Facebook group for nothing. I earned that shit.
I didn't get my officer title in the Assetbar Facebook group for nothing. I earned that shit.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Hey! I'm in that group now. Can I be cool with the young'uns?
Hey! I'm in that group now. Can I be cool with the young'uns?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NO.
NO.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
what about me?
what about me?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Do you have a Facebook?
Do you have a Facebook?
octafish
+0 -0
I have a book, and I have a face...
I have a book, and I have a face...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NO.
NO.
octafish
+1 -0
Hey watch yourself. I have a Bell and a Candle as well as my Book, I might have to give you some...
EXORCISE!
Hey watch yourself. I have a Bell and a Candle as well as my Book, I might have to give you some...
EXORCISE!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm gonna give you a chubby because that made me think of Good Omens.
I'm gonna give you a chubby because that made me think of Good Omens.
akarroa
+0 -0
I have a book with carefully removed human faces in it...
I have a book with carefully removed human faces in it...
loneal
+0 -0
Oh my gosh, redo, you're in that group, impersonating me , and I didn't even know. That'll teach me to slip up on my Facebook maintenance.
Oh my gosh, redo, you're in that group, impersonating me , and I didn't even know. That'll teach me to slip up on my Facebook maintenance.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was already under the impression that you and hedonismbot are actually the same person, along with the cop who's trying to rescue you from his basement.
I was already under the impression that you and hedonismbot are actually the same person, along with the cop who's trying to rescue you from his basement.
terebikun
+0 -0
A good motif for that would be a broken mirror, to show loneal's fragmented self.
A good motif for that would be a broken mirror, to show loneal's fragmented self.
stereo
+0 -0
Hey hedonismbot, you're not eating grapes. How come?
Hey hedonismbot, you're not eating grapes. How come?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
The sweet young lady feeding them to be was too slow in getting her fingers away from my mouth one time. I'm surprised nobody is complaining about my avaticon/name disharmony
The sweet young lady feeding them to be was too slow in getting her fingers away from my mouth one time. I'm surprised nobody is complaining about my avaticon/name disharmony
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Bender is the real hedonism 'Bot.
Bender is the real hedonism 'Bot.
aliiis
+0 -0
that sort of sounds like a good thing?
like the beginning of porn.
that sort of sounds like a good thing?
like the beginning of porn.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
In the year 3100
porn was beginning.
In the year 3100
porn was beginning.
stereo
+0 -0
It is surprisingly hard to make a picture of the Hedonismbot look good 50 pixels wide. Nonetheless, I tried.
[IMGS OFF]
It is surprisingly hard to make a picture of the Hedonismbot look good 50 pixels wide. Nonetheless, I tried.
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Dibs!
Dibs!
catgrl131
+0 -0
No! You can't replace Frynapple!!
No! You can't replace Frynapple!!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Sorry, I'll take it back.
Sbid.
Sorry, I'll take it back.
Sbid.
redface
+0 -0
If at first stern, you earn the dog's respect. Deep.
If at first stern, you earn the dog's respect. Deep.
tekende
+2 -0
This is true. I am stern with my roommate's dogs all the time, and they respect me. Also they fear me. And that is the way I like it, because I hate those damn dogs.
This is true. I am stern with my roommate's dogs all the time, and they respect me. Also they fear me. And that is the way I like it, because I hate those damn dogs.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
"And when you go out and I'm alone with the dog? I kick the motherfucking dog. I kick him, and I laugh my motherfucking ass off"
Or something like that. I got no memory for Eddie Murphy
"And when you go out and I'm alone with the dog? I kick the motherfucking dog. I kick him, and I laugh my motherfucking ass off"
Or something like that. I got no memory for Eddie Murphy
phy
+0 -0
Nice Pete: Mob Smasher
Nice Pete: Mob Smasher
dasilodavi
+0 -0
This is probably the last we'll see of these, but I think it would be funny if this became Achewood's next mini-series. Like, when Teodor was touring around swearing, or when he made everyone's "baseball cards," Nice Pete could just fold bills for the next two weeks.
This is probably the last we'll see of these, but I think it would be funny if this became Achewood's next mini-series. Like, when Teodor was touring around swearing, or when he made everyone's "baseball cards," Nice Pete could just fold bills for the next two weeks.
daidai
+0 -0
Had George Bush never been elected, Nice Pete's random two-dollar bill folding would have been so much better. Just a random old man and a dog.
LOL BUT WUT WUDENT BE BETTER IF HE WAN'T ELECTERD
Had George Bush never been elected, Nice Pete's random two-dollar bill folding would have been so much better. Just a random old man and a dog.
LOL BUT WUT WUDENT BE BETTER IF HE WAN'T ELECTERD
professorhazard
+2 -0
daidai, the two-dollar bill was produced before most of us were born. There was never a question about GWB's election, or choice of dog. Men have seen to this.
daidai, the two-dollar bill was produced before most of us were born. There was never a question about GWB's election, or choice of dog. Men have seen to this.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
The 2000 election was an inside job! Pass it on!
The 2000 election was an inside job! Pass it on!
aperson
+0 -0
Damn, I can't v-chub your flawless youtubese because I was scathing earlier on about comments that reference the chubby system.
Damn, I can't v-chub your flawless youtubese because I was scathing earlier on about comments that reference the chubby system.
daidai
+0 -0
You mean like that comment you just made?
You mean like that comment you just made?
aperson
+0 -0
V-chub!
V-chub!
thwap
+2 -0
I see Nice Pete is a Dapper Dan Man!
I see Nice Pete is a Dapper Dan Man!
pogo
+1 -0
This is boring, and impossible.
This is boring, and impossible.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
You shouldn't talk about yourself like that.
You shouldn't talk about yourself like that.
aperson
+0 -0
Especially when you smell of pee.
Especially when you smell of pee.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
ESPECIALLY YOUR MUM.
ESPECIALLY YOUR MUM.
squares
+0 -0
he_loves_kate.
he_loves_kate.
tekende
+0 -0
AND MY AXE
There.
AND MY AXE
There.
kamet
+0 -0
I think you're forgetting the Ham.
I think you're forgetting the Ham.
daidai
+0 -0
MOIST
MOIST
hbaranov
+0 -0
WHAT NEWS FROM THE NORTH!
WHAT NEWS FROM THE NORTH!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Not cool, not funny, not a good thread.
Not cool, not funny, not a good thread.
daidai
+0 -0
And my axe!
And my axe!
daidai
+0 -0
oh god dammit
oh god dammit
i_love_kate
+0 -0
This sequence of comments made me laugh like Wario. Thanks are owed.
This sequence of comments made me laugh like Wario. Thanks are owed.
pogo
+0 -0
And to think my boredom started it -- the ultimate cliche thread. NOT the saddest thing.
And to think my boredom started it -- the ultimate cliche thread. NOT the saddest thing.
tekende
+0 -0
DiSaGrEeMeNt BoX
DiSaGrEeMeNt BoX
catgrl131
+0 -0
*knocks over a chair*
*knocks over a chair*
pogo
+0 -0
Nice to have you back catty one. Like my new iconatar?
Nice to have you back catty one. Like my new iconatar?
catgrl131
+0 -0
WHOA that threw me off.
P..pogo? Is that really you?
WHOA that threw me off.
P..pogo? Is that really you?
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, it's really me. I hired a handface model to star as my avicanitar. She's hot.
Yes, it's really me. I hired a handface model to star as my avicanitar. She's hot.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Does hedo'bot know you've been stealing from his basement?
Does hedo'bot know you've been stealing from his basement?
hbaranov
+0 -0
LOVE CLITS. LOVE THEM
LOVE CLITS. LOVE THEM
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hey my friend loved a clit once.
She broke his heart.
He hung himself with a sheet.
He wrote a suicide note.
This note said:
"Not cool. Not funny. Not a good post."
(welcome back catgrl.)
Hey my friend loved a clit once.
She broke his heart.
He hung himself with a sheet.
He wrote a suicide note.
This note said:
"Not cool. Not funny. Not a good post."
(welcome back catgrl.)
henrythecad
+0 -0
haha! so random and hilarious
haha! so random and hilarious
tragicone
+0 -0
A comment left by tragicone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Squares, Thwap, prius_chaser, Cracklewater)
A comment left by tragicone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Squares, Thwap, prius_chaser, Cracklewater)
squares
+0 -0
SPOILER ALERT!@#$ carnage died.
SPOILER ALERT!@#$ carnage died.
tragicone
+0 -0
*gasp*
*gasp*
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
dear anyone who cares:
the snippets of stories i had posted a few days ago are found in the liner notes of the new Showbread albums Anorexia / Nervosa
a final clip:
the tests come back positive. shortly after my fate is disclosed to me i accept the offer to merge our facilities with the larger organization. i am called on to lead a rally outside of our new, larger, more prestigious headquarters. i hammer fists on the podium monument is erected within the center's courtyard to forever commemerate my life's work. i no longer work one on one with the children; my strength begins to fain drastically. i sign contracts approving the rights to present my story in the medium of film. i am told hospital wings, church buildings and boulevards are named after me. after all this, the way it will end, my name will live on. i am eternal. i am.
now go buy this album and may Raw Rock kill you forever and ever Amen.
dear anyone who cares:
the snippets of stories i had posted a few days ago are found in the liner notes of the new Showbread albums Anorexia / Nervosa
a final clip:
the tests come back positive. shortly after my fate is disclosed to me i accept the offer to merge our facilities with the larger organization. i am called on to lead a rally outside of our new, larger, more prestigious headquarters. i hammer fists on the podium monument is erected within the center's courtyard to forever commemerate my life's work. i no longer work one on one with the children; my strength begins to fain drastically. i sign contracts approving the rights to present my story in the medium of film. i am told hospital wings, church buildings and boulevards are named after me. after all this, the way it will end, my name will live on. i am eternal. i am.
now go buy this album and may Raw Rock kill you forever and ever Amen.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OMFG. Will you be my best friend?
I kinda thought it was from there.
I love Showbread so much, I have a Showbread tattoo over my heart. Hurt like a bitch.
You are so getting a fucking chubby.
OMFG. Will you be my best friend?
I kinda thought it was from there.
I love Showbread so much, I have a Showbread tattoo over my heart. Hurt like a bitch.
You are so getting a fucking chubby.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
tat pic or GTFO.
tat pic or GTFO.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's on both my myspace and facebook.
So if'n you are in the Facebook group find me and look me up.
I don't feel comfortable posting it here.
It's on both my myspace and facebook.
So if'n you are in the Facebook group find me and look me up.
I don't feel comfortable posting it here.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
which group? there's like fiddy of 'em. i'm in the one that's just straight up "Achewood". is there a better one??
which group? there's like fiddy of 'em. i'm in the one that's just straight up "Achewood". is there a better one??
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The Assetbar one.
The Assetbar one.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
sweet now i am a part thereof. someone make me an officer of Kindly Elder God, posthaste!
sweet now i am a part thereof. someone make me an officer of Kindly Elder God, posthaste!
terebikun
+0 -0
Bet it hurt like seven bitches on a bitch boat
Bet it hurt like seven bitches on a bitch boat
theguitarhero
+0 -0
More like EIGHT! And try a bitch YACHT!
COME ON!
More like EIGHT! And try a bitch YACHT!
COME ON!
terebikun
+0 -0
The guy in the 6000 dollar suit is going to believe 8 bitches in a bitch yacht?!
COME ON!
The guy in the 6000 dollar suit is going to believe 8 bitches in a bitch yacht?!
COME ON!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Has no one on Assetbar seen a chicken before?!
Has no one on Assetbar seen a chicken before?!
loneal
+0 -0
Are you implying that a chicken is basically a bitch yacht, with its delicious breast, thighs, wings, and internal organs forming eight bitches? Because I think that is a fair assessment.
Are you implying that a chicken is basically a bitch yacht, with its delicious breast, thighs, wings, and internal organs forming eight bitches? Because I think that is a fair assessment.
tragicone
+0 -0
you know, another time another place Lononeal. another time another place. YOU AND I!!!!!!!!!
you know, another time another place Lononeal. another time another place. YOU AND I!!!!!!!!!
boyd
+1 -0
It's nice to see Pete has forgiven Lyle for being a woman.
It's nice to see Pete has forgiven Lyle for being a woman.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Such a thing can never be forgiven, only tolerated.
Such a thing can never be forgiven, only tolerated.
gladi8orrex
+2 -2
PLz 2 B EXCUSSE ME
but hows man of u was bornt by c-cectun? an hows man was swquat out by joo mama? oslo, hows mans was titfed an hows man was bottled-formulayed?
i was c-cestians an iwas fet botles/formula 4 ma life i's curous abot u alls
PLz 2 B EXCUSSE ME
but hows man of u was bornt by c-cectun? an hows man was swquat out by joo mama? oslo, hows mans was titfed an hows man was bottled-formulayed?
i was c-cestians an iwas fet botles/formula 4 ma life i's curous abot u alls
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
please to be excusing me
but how many of you were born by c-cection and how many were squirted out by your mom? also, how many were breast-fed and how many were bottle-fed (formula...'D!)
i was c-sectioned and i was fed bottles/formula for my life i'm curious about you all's.
please to be excusing me
but how many of you were born by c-cection and how many were squirted out by your mom? also, how many were breast-fed and how many were bottle-fed (formula...'D!)
i was c-sectioned and i was fed bottles/formula for my life i'm curious about you all's.
charchar
+0 -0
Glad is lying; he came from a pod.
Glad is lying; he came from a pod.
pogo
+0 -0
Nice translation. Natural birth and boob-fed here.
Nice translation. Natural birth and boob-fed here.
hbaranov
+0 -0
That one
That one
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Let's face it, Pogo, back when you were popped out Caesarians were very rare and dangerous. Do you know hard it is to properly sterilize stone implements?
Let's face it, Pogo, back when you were popped out Caesarians were very rare and dangerous. Do you know hard it is to properly sterilize stone implements?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
(I just keep doing the obvious jokes, today, and it does not make me feel good.)
(I just keep doing the obvious jokes, today, and it does not make me feel good.)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
HAHAHA. POGO IS AN OLD MAN ON THE INTERNET.
HAHAHA. POGO IS AN OLD MAN ON THE INTERNET.
pogo
+0 -0
Now I'm hiding behind this young woman**, ha ha.
**(In the future, when I once again change my iconatar, let the record show it was a black and white shot of a model and her hand, perky hairdo, look of surprise.)
Now I'm hiding behind this young woman**, ha ha.
**(In the future, when I once again change my iconatar, let the record show it was a black and white shot of a model and her hand, perky hairdo, look of surprise.)
pogo
+1 -0
In fact, Caesar had just invented it! (Then came the salad, how strange.)
In fact, Caesar had just invented it! (Then came the salad, how strange.)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I just imagined an infant Caesar cutting his way out of his own mother's womb and then eating a salad.
Curse your historical inaccuracies and my overactive imagination.
I just imagined an infant Caesar cutting his way out of his own mother's womb and then eating a salad.
Curse your historical inaccuracies and my overactive imagination.
tekende
+0 -0
I was born by C-section. I would have died otherwise!
I was born by C-section. I would have died otherwise!
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Tekende, you are the only one who can slay the Usurper.
Tekende, you are the only one who can slay the Usurper.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Aw damn! So that is what those hags meant by no man of woman borne shall slay me.
I am still good as long as that god damn Birnam wood stays put.
Aw damn! So that is what those hags meant by no man of woman borne shall slay me.
I am still good as long as that god damn Birnam wood stays put.
sje46
+0 -0
I had to write a paper on who the third murderer was. I said that it was Shakespeare himself.
Did the teacher buy it? No. No he did not.
I had to write a paper on who the third murderer was. I said that it was Shakespeare himself.
Did the teacher buy it? No. No he did not.
octafish
+2 -0
He has killed me, Mother. Run away I pray you.
Eeeeeeeuuuuugh-Arrrrrrrck-Aaaugh-Eck-Eck-Eck-Blaugh-Blaugh-Pluh-Eck-Ah.*Meanwhile madly flailing my limbs and staggering all over the stage grabbing other characters, curtains, props etc. Is why I wasn't allowed to do theater at school.
He has killed me, Mother. Run away I pray you.
Eeeeeeeuuuuugh-Arrrrrrrck-Aaaugh-Eck-Eck-Eck-Blaugh-Blaugh-Pluh-Eck-Ah.*Meanwhile madly flailing my limbs and staggering all over the stage grabbing other characters, curtains, props etc. Is why I wasn't allowed to do theater at school.
tekende
+0 -0
I have no clue what you all are talking about, and I don't want one.
I have no clue what you all are talking about, and I don't want one.
irondave
+0 -0
[conspirogamical whisper]It's The Scottish Play.[/whisper]
[conspirogamical whisper]It's The Scottish Play.[/whisper]
sje46
+0 -0
Literature existed before Al Gore invented the Internet. Except back then it wasn't in electronic form.
Nice, applying an Achewoodism into the English language.
Literature existed before Al Gore invented the Internet. Except back then it wasn't in electronic form.
Nice, applying an Achewoodism into the English language.
octafish
+0 -0
Anyone else see the updated version in the restaurant, with James McEvoy? The kitchen hands weren't allowed to mention Gordon Ramsey by name they had to call him "The Scottish Chef".
Anyone else see the updated version in the restaurant, with James McEvoy? The kitchen hands weren't allowed to mention Gordon Ramsey by name they had to call him "The Scottish Chef".
tragicone
+0 -0
haha, I remember we read Macbeth in my senior English class and at the same time the school play was going on and those of us who were seniors constantly tempted the fates.
haha, I remember we read Macbeth in my senior English class and at the same time the school play was going on and those of us who were seniors constantly tempted the fates.
sje46
+0 -0
C-section. We were big twins.
C-section. We were big twins.
daidai
+0 -0
I held on to the cord so they had to turn my mom upside-down so I'd let go.
Yep.
I held on to the cord so they had to turn my mom upside-down so I'd let go.
Yep.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
They turned your mother upside down. Ummm... there are gravity-related-inconsistencies in your story.
They turned your mother upside down. Ummm... there are gravity-related-inconsistencies in your story.
daidai
+0 -0
...they did it to make me let go, then put her back to normal.
I wasn't some kind of projectile anti-gravity child.
...yet
...they did it to make me let go, then put her back to normal.
I wasn't some kind of projectile anti-gravity child.
...yet
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You'll fly when you can fly.
You'll fly when you can fly.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
If you do, please keep a diary about it.
If you do, please keep a diary about it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Nice catch.
oh. nice age.
Nice catch.
oh. nice age.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
My 31 or the Macallan's 21? I'm content with former, I suppose, and dying for the latter.
My 31 or the Macallan's 21? I'm content with former, I suppose, and dying for the latter.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
We'll toast our content with a 21 year old. Many friends have said it's a great way to retain feelings of youth.
We'll toast our content with a 21 year old. Many friends have said it's a great way to retain feelings of youth.
thegoblins
+1 -0
squirted, tit-fed.
How are the bottles and formula treating you nowadays?
squirted, tit-fed.
How are the bottles and formula treating you nowadays?
octafish
+0 -0
Natural all the way.
Natural all the way.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Of course
Of course
pox
+0 -1
Oh my god what the hell Peter why would you do that to yourself you were so sexy before oh my god WHY WHY WHY MY FAVORITE CHARACTER RUINED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The concept of the strip itself is fabulous but I just cannot brook the gossamer...whatever the hell you would call that haircut. ::sob::
Oh my god what the hell Peter why would you do that to yourself you were so sexy before oh my god WHY WHY WHY MY FAVORITE CHARACTER RUINED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The concept of the strip itself is fabulous but I just cannot brook the gossamer...whatever the hell you would call that haircut. ::sob::
thwap
+1 -0
I FOUND YOU
BY CHANCE!
I FOUND YOU
BY CHANCE!
hbaranov
+0 -0
Avatar synchronisity rates you a chubby
Avatar synchronisity rates you a chubby
edwell
+0 -0
Lyle's interest in conspirogami matches his interest in moon landing denial .
"Need even more proof? 9 plus 11 equals 20 !"
-- https://www.conspiracies.net/index.htm
Lyle's interest in conspirogami matches his interest in moon landing denial .
"Need even more proof? 9 plus 11 equals 20 !"
-- https://www.conspiracies.net/index.htm
bumpishound
+0 -0
I was all, BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE, but Barney was all, CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW
I was all, BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE, but Barney was all, CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW
kickstart
+0 -0
snausages
snausages
saulbellow
+3 -0
Non-Physical and Non-Verbal Corrections
* * *
Level Two: The next level is a postural correction. This might be leaning over the dog coupled with a stern look . Some dogs are more responsive to this than others. The postural correction may or may not be coupled with a verbal correction.
* * *
It is important to earn the dog's respect with clear, consistent instruction and praise before implementing corrections.
https://www.animalbehavior.net/LIBRARY/Canine/BehaviorTopics/DogCorrections.htm
Non-Physical and Non-Verbal Corrections
* * *
Level Two: The next level is a postural correction. This might be leaning over the dog coupled with a stern look . Some dogs are more responsive to this than others. The postural correction may or may not be coupled with a verbal correction.
* * *
It is important to earn the dog's respect with clear, consistent instruction and praise before implementing corrections.
https://www.animalbehavior.net/LIBRARY/Canine/BehaviorTopics/DogCorrections.htm
caseyb3
+0 -0
WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS
WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Mirrors reflecting mirrors!
Mirrors reflecting mirrors!
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
high tech sorcery!
high tech sorcery!
saulbellow
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Many thanks to TV's Richard Belzer for probably making this post possible.
[IMGS OFF]
Many thanks to TV's Richard Belzer for probably making this post possible.
professorhazard
+1 -0
Richard Belzer in a velvet suit. Howard Stern. A demon dog of some kind. What does it all mean.
Richard Belzer in a velvet suit. Howard Stern. A demon dog of some kind. What does it all mean.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The Apocalypse?
The Apocalypse?
octafish
+0 -0
The Aprocralypse?
The Aprocralypse?
octafish
+0 -0
whoops-a-daisy, scratch that and insert instead:
The Apocralypse?
whoops-a-daisy, scratch that and insert instead:
The Apocralypse?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
The Apropocalypse?
The Apropocalypse?
loneal
+0 -0
The Aristocrats!
The Aristocrats!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The AristoCATS.
The AristoCATS.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
aww yeeah
aww yeeah
bixschmix
+0 -0
Oh Bob Saget is a dirty, dirty old man. (More so than Pogo.)
Oh Bob Saget is a dirty, dirty old man. (More so than Pogo.)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The Apopcalypse ?
The Apopcalypse ?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
because Animatrix is cool, or you like that song?
because Animatrix is cool, or you like that song?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Both?
Both?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
POOPY VAGINAS!
POOPY VAGINAS!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Yes, theguitarhero, Poopy Vaginas. Have a biscuit and sit in the corner for a while.
Yes, theguitarhero, Poopy Vaginas. Have a biscuit and sit in the corner for a while.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You're not sure? Animatrix is undisputed.
The song is... kinda dated.
You're not sure? Animatrix is undisputed.
The song is... kinda dated.
stereo
+0 -0
The apoplectalypse?
Complete with buckets.
The apoplectalypse?
Complete with buckets.
agentstinky
+0 -0
The Arockalypse?
The Arockalypse?
octafish
+0 -0
The Day of Rockening?
The Day of Rockening?
saulbellow
+0 -0
nobody seems to be catching on here ... i assumed somebody would jump in.
nobody seems to be catching on here ... i assumed somebody would jump in.
pogo
+0 -0
Which one gets to bone the blond?
Which one gets to bone the blond?
chloraloner
+0 -0
Lyle's mouth seems to appear and disappear these days.
Lyle's mouth seems to appear and disappear these days.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What you mean this mouth?
What you mean this mouth?
octafish
+0 -0
You kiss your mother with that disappearing mouth?
You kiss your mother with that disappearing mouth?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
MY FATHER KNEW A MAN.
MY FATHER KNEW A MAN.
hbaranov
+0 -0
HE WAS CALLED STAN
HE WAS CALLED STAN
kamet
+0 -0
HE ALWAYS HAD A PLAN
HE ALWAYS HAD A PLAN
sje46
+0 -0
And ate a lot of flan.
And ate a lot of flan.
thorfinn
+0 -0
HE DROVE A CHEVY VAN
HE DROVE A CHEVY VAN
catgrl131
+0 -0
AND HAD A SISTER NAMED DAN
AND HAD A SISTER NAMED DAN
akarroa
+0 -0
HE CAUGHT HITMONCHAN
[IMGS OFF]
HE CAUGHT HITMONCHAN
[IMGS OFF]
stereo
+0 -0
HE WAS HEAD OF HIS CLAN
HE WAS HEAD OF HIS CLAN
sje46
+0 -0
While he lived in Tajikistan
While he lived in Tajikistan
sje46
+0 -0
Sorry. I didn't realize we were in CAPS.
WHILE HE LIVED IN TAJIKISTAN
Sorry. I didn't realize we were in CAPS.
WHILE HE LIVED IN TAJIKISTAN
puguglypress
+0 -0
THIS THREAD SHOULD BE BANNED
THIS THREAD SHOULD BE BANNED
woodenteeth
+0 -0
What! catgril131! Where have you been. You've had Assetbar worried SICK!**
**have a look at some previous strips comments.
What! catgril131! Where have you been. You've had Assetbar worried SICK!**
**have a look at some previous strips comments.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Aww shucks, you guys! *looks down, smiling and blushing, grinding toe into floor*
Due to a laptop "situation", I had to send it off to be fixed (a part came loose in the cord/computer connecty bit, for lack of a better term), and before that I was in Pennsylvania for a while with no internets, I tell ya, I was in withdrawal!
So nice to be back!
Aww shucks, you guys! *looks down, smiling and blushing, grinding toe into floor*
Due to a laptop "situation", I had to send it off to be fixed (a part came loose in the cord/computer connecty bit, for lack of a better term), and before that I was in Pennsylvania for a while with no internets, I tell ya, I was in withdrawal!
So nice to be back!
pogo
+0 -0
HUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSS!
HUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSS!
hal
+0 -0
Look at Pete in panels two and three. He's checking to see if Lyle is hiding some extra information from him, seeing if he has discovered something new about the Conspirogami.
This is not new information Lyle
Look at Pete in panels two and three. He's checking to see if Lyle is hiding some extra information from him, seeing if he has discovered something new about the Conspirogami.
This is not new information Lyle
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
the slicked back look doesnt work for nice pete(unless thats an actual hair cut, rather than a new style. in which case, i retract).
the slicked back look doesnt work for nice pete(unless thats an actual hair cut, rather than a new style. in which case, i retract).
A comment left by mrclarinet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, sagoon, SaulBellow, fancypants)
The presence of an unnecessarily large boot when allowing your guard to be lowered in order to be honoured by the subjected canine should also be considered Symbolically Important.
(it should probably not)
You know what they say about dudes with huge left shoes....
Abnormally stretched socks?
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
Nice insight.
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
Oh..oh god.
I think I'm gonna be sick...
What did I miss here, obviously, something disturbing was posted by someone who is on my ignore list. I am unable to see what it was, and from the reactions it received, I'm guessing I don't want to see it. Will someone please provide a textual description of what you are all offended by. Notice how I said textual description , I said this because I don't actually want to see whatever it is, I just want to know what it is.
It was a hundred thou bill with a penis in place of where the president would be.
It was the same penis used as a horn in a previous photoshop of a unicorn (but not by the same person I think.)
the penis, in place of the face, has a look of a certain confidence on its body. don't get me wrong it's not the biggest guy on the block, but it has a bit of a curve to it. and a bit of a look of confusion upon it. a confident confusion.
and it was recently shaved but not that recently.
This is why I don't put people on Ignore.
Hey guys! What are you talking about and reacting to?
I have people on ignore because I don't want to see the ridiculous bullshit they post, but occasionally the responses to the ridiculous bullshit are such that I wish to know what the ridiculous bullshit is. Not knowing what people are responding to every once in a while is better than having to scroll past every piece of random spam ever posted by the fucktards on my ignore list.
Why ask what it is you're supposed to be ignoring? I find this confusing. Also sad. Where's your resolve? You're obviously not ready to be ignoring a thing.
Because I see the replies to the thing I am ignoring, and the replies make no sense, so I naturally must know what prompted them so that I don't go insane wondering what it is they are talking about.
This is along the lines of the conversation. I recall adding about 5 people to my ignore list. I do not recall adding this person, or all 20 or so names which are currently on said list. How could this happen?
Also, why can you not see the faint text that says the comment by this person was ignored? Assetbar hasn't been showing me images for a while, so I assume the reason I cannot see that one is due to Assetbar being itself. Is this not the case?
If you look, there are several hundred names that look like troll names on your ignore list. I found this the other day. I've ignored a total of one person, but see many ignored posts, and am thinking of just unignoring everyone. Assetbar also shut down images, I think I read it was because someone was exploiting the image code to infect the website.
god damn you buncha assholes who make assetbar un-work-friendly. shit, at least make sure it's remotely funny
Oh dammit I just realized that once I lamed it I couldn't ignore user.
FUCK.
[IMGS OFF]
A comment left by consp1rogami was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dizneedave, gothfae, StagnantDisplay, mortshire, Xerol)
But there is no such thing as a thousand-dollar bill.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_denomination_bills_in_U.S._currency
"Although they are still technically legal tender in the United States, high-denomination bills were last printed in 1945 and officially discontinued on July 14, 1969, by the Federal Reserve System."
[IMGS OFF]
I always wished that there was a bill with Taft on it.
All overflowing bathtub, but no water yet.
Huh.
Well, I learned something today. On assetbar, of all places.
Don't tell me you haven't heard of the most useful US bill of all?
[IMGS OFF]
How better to express a serious payment than with one crispy bill?
I wouldn't have chubbied this if not for the trademark =Ray= signature.
Kudos.
A comment left by griggs_although was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by woodenteeth, Stonecrab, thacO, pettytyrant, usversusthem)
Oh that is truly the limit!
Six hundo!
it looks like hes slipping on a pile of money
There is a thing we do with Canadian currency. I am going to try to post a picture. Cynara vs. Assetbar, round one:
[IMGS OFF]
Success, and a mildly amusing image.
I suspect you would be eligible for federal time in the USA for that (defacing currency), but I'm not positive.
A for effort, though.
not so, i colored thomas jefferson in as a lion.
John Adams...we've got maaaanes....
Is that supposed to look exactly like Leonard Nimoy?
It's not much of a joke otherwise, is it?
I got a $20 bill last week that had "The police are setting you up." written across the bottom in pen. I frequent some crappy bars, apparently.
If you get twenty dollar bills as change, I would like to join you at said crappy bars.
Oh my, it wasn't change, it was payment. I wish I had the money where I got twenty dollar bills, too.
I guess everything is just a little more crass in Australia.
[IMGS OFF]
In canada this is known as 'Spocking your fives.' I'm not joking, I've been doing this for 6 months, and there is a facebook group and everything.
damn, if only i still had any old 5 dollar bills. or can this be done with the new ones..?
Nice.
Mind if I borrow this as an avatar?
The image isn't actually mine, but go ahead as far as I'm concerned. There are more out there, and possibly some that look better.
I mind.
A comment left by akarroa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, 21echoes, ZombieJesus, Spoon, Mastronaut, morbo, Darthemed)
A comment left by akarroa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, 21echoes, ZombieJesus, Spoon, mortshire, cailetshadow, Mastronaut, morbo)
We're lookin' at a six hundo, everybody.
Good grief, I chubbied that and it went up from 89 to 92 -- I predict great things here.
A comment left by akarroa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, Spoon, Gumfish, coffeecoaster)
A comment left by akarroa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, ZombieJesus, Spoon, Darthemed)
Here is some reality: There are on the order of 11,000 members of Assetbar. Even if half of that number were bots or people no longer reading the comments, you can guess that there are several thousand people who could lame you. How many did? Seven or fewer, I think. How many people would you actually say you know from comments? Several dozen?
You have overreacted to a few lames. Change your lame threshold and even those identities will remain unknown to you. The VAST majority of participants have made no comment on your assets. Don't feel bad, a lot of musicians and movie stars make this same mistake: they can make giant hits and 95% of the public has no idea who they are and could not care less.
Sorry, I'm irritable today. I've been wearing a bass drum harness on sunburned and heat-blistered shoulders for 8 hours.
uhhuhh, Indiana State Fair? I know they had marching bands today. So thats why I ask because i am from Indianapolis.
oh this is going to be delish if more than one of us Assetbar types is from the great plain state of Indiana.
If so, I was this close to being at the State Fair today! I could've watched your pain!
I'm from Bloomington. Been doing marching band practice this whole week, Carolina Crown came and practiced on our football field the other day.
No, sorry. Marching Band practice starts three weeks before school, lasts just as long, and is outside the whole time, assuring that band people will actually be looking forward to school starting.
you're from indiana...
Thats amazing.
I...I don't know how to feel just now.
This is weird. And good.
Yeah, I guess there is more than corn HACHACHACHA
I count at least three Indiana folk here. Maybe we should have a meeting, where we can discuss how loud the crickets have been this year. Because seriously I can't tell if one is in my house or lodged itself in my brain half the time JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE DRIVING ME MAD
and then these total billies next door keep lighting off fireworks BILLIES FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST THE SAVIOR NOT EVERYTHING CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION INVOLVING FIREWORKS just because you drove a funny car around a track really fast doesn't mean you can keep me up all night like those GODDAMN CRICKETS
hahaha, this is true. The damn crickets keep me up some nights, and I live on the second floor. I question whether they are better at flying than given credit or what.
And I can't much complain about the hillbillies to be honest, At least but twice a year. I live in the town of speedway. I used to live a three minute walk from the field where they camp. Now i live maybe 15 minutes away. It is still incessant the night before races.
We don't live next to hillbillies. We live next hispanics. They get to bed early for work in the morning.
Also, soybean.
No way, I just drove through Speedway today! Harrowing trip, some sort of...motorcycle convention going on. Pedestrians to the left of me, motorcycles to the right. I almost just did a Mannix-roll out of the car, and let it skid where it may.
I saw something awesome though, so I'm glad I remained in the car. I had no idea there was a business here simply named "500 Guns". I know it's a reference to the race and all, but the sign has no indication thereof. For all anybody not familiar with the Indy500 would know, it is just a place that carries exactly 500 guns at any given time.
Also, some strip club that was in a dilapidated old barn. Cue John Mellencamp, right?
Also, Guns 'n' Roses.
Oh my gosh. That is exactly true of the strip club. Its not sad really, because speedway was never a farming community. That is just a random barn-like building. The Old part of speedway is 16th street and houses are packed tighter than sardines there. It is pretty Insane.
Also, its yet another race. Not just a motorcycle convention, although it might as well be considering the racing medium. Motorcycles. Its the Red Bull MotoGP.
Also, I try to forget the fact that there is a gun shop in Speedway. Though I wonder what their prices are like...
So are you from within the Indianapolis area or what? Because if I was from like, Plainfield I wouldn't even bother making the trip.
Ahh, close, I'm in Brownsburg! I went through Speedway the other day in an attempt to see how/if I could get downtown from there. Driving is hard business.
As for the gun shop, I imagine that the price is in the range of 500 dollars.
Larf!
Driving isn't so hard. Basically you would just take 74 through Speedway to where it hit 16th and that can take you "downtown". But if you need central downtown than you will need to jump on capitol from there. That can take you down as far as the convention center area.
So Brownsburg though huh? A friend of mine got racist'd on in Brownsburg. Then a black cop took the guy who did it away.
Yay Indiana!
Bernanke had some issues with printing this one, but Ray has some friends at the Mint and he gets things done.
Too bad he's not wearing the clothes he got from Mark Twain
Hey, tekende, look here for the $100,000 bill.
Man what the hell
This is craaaazy
i just realized, you read Nedroid.
Who? Me? Or lateadopter?
If you mean me, then yes. I do.
As do I.
Pffft. Zimbabwe scoffs at your tiny denominations. ( Seriously. )
(Oh, and for extra credit, guess how much those three eggs cost? Zimbabwean economics is seriously sad times.)
Nerd anecdote: I work for a financial company. We keep data on all manner of securities, including foreign exchange (FX) rates. We have been forced to modify our database to be able to store the sort of numbers that allow conversion from ZWD and USD. Their economy is so bad, they honestly require NASA-style numbers to describe it.
It's as if central planning by a dictator works badly, or something.
I know, who would have thought it, right?
Happiness is a two-dimensional Grover Cleveland, all upholding the gold standard.
Who in the SHIT is Salmon Chase and why is he on the $10000 bill?
Apparently he was lots of things. Rock on Salmon.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon_P._Chase
I've actually seen one of those, years ago, framed, along with a $500 bill, behind the counter at a bank inside of a Kroger. For real, dawg.
At first I was confused as to how Nice Pete had figured this out, but then I realized he would be the type of guy to just take a 20 dollar bill and start folding it with no end in mind. Neither smiling nor frowning.
this works well with your icon.
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
Troll alert?
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
troll alert
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
ok I'll bite...
troll alert
Comment left by conspirogami ignored.
Hey I think this is a troll.
I should alert people!
Not before you tell me what the alt text is, you don't!
Does anybody know?
Does anybody remember laughter ?
Theres a lady whos sure
All that glitters is gold
And shes buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for...
Hey Buddy can't you read the sign? "NO STAIRWAY!"
you're a troll...maybe you should not be a troll?
Huge left balls?
Giant left cock?
if your left cock was bigger than your middle one that would just look strange
I feel strangely inadequate right now.
my left and right cock are both bigger than the middle one, but not by much. (see yesterday)