clembot
+4 -0
man ray is devious
man ray is devious
twotonturkey
+41 -1
man ray took some neat photos too.
man ray took some neat photos too.
madnes
+8 -2
hell of chubbies yo
hell of chubbies yo
spectre
+1 -1
Yeah, check these out:
https://images.google.com/images?q=man ray&num=20&hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS221US221&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=images&ct=title
Yeah, check these out:
https://images.google.com/images?q=man ray&num=20&hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS221US221&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=images&ct=title
nullzero
+3 -0
This image is extremely relevant
https://www.380sl.8k.com/380SL-2.jpg
This image is extremely relevant
https://www.380sl.8k.com/380SL-2.jpg
el_connor
+3 -0
Reminds me of a time Ray delicately posed a suggestion:
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=01172007
Reminds me of a time Ray delicately posed a suggestion:
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=01172007
jrpigman
+2 -0
Well it's not like killing Todd is hard or rare. Frankly, I'm surprised no one came up with the idea of making money off of it years ago.
Well it's not like killing Todd is hard or rare. Frankly, I'm surprised no one came up with the idea of making money off of it years ago.
theoneyouwant
+0 -0
he's an enabler
he's an enabler
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, rhymesforkids, cailetshadow, SPECTRE, wehavemagnums)
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, rhymesforkids, cailetshadow, SPECTRE, wehavemagnums)
hellofyellin
+5 -0
The cat is not kidding.
The cat is not kidding.
hellofyellin
+5 -0
The cat is a straight-talker.
The cat is a straight-talker.
kingcrimson
+0 -0
I know I am going to get lamed like crazy for this, but in this strip, especially that line, I picture Ray being done by Will Ferrell. I am sorry about this Assetbar.
I know I am going to get lamed like crazy for this, but in this strip, especially that line, I picture Ray being done by Will Ferrell. I am sorry about this Assetbar.
rowboat
+1 -0
I won't lame you on the condition that you realize that you should be lamed.
I won't lame you on the condition that you realize that you should be lamed.
kingcrimson
+5 -0
Of course, now I've realized what Achewood would be like if it was a Will Ferrell movie:
Ray (Will Ferrell) is a wealthy, well-liked entrepreneur at the top of his game. When he isn't out making "heck of benjamins," he's spending his time either out partying with his Cousin Kev (Owen Wilson) or with his best friend Roast Beef (Edward Norton) and Teodor (Ben Stiller).
One day, this all changes when a hot new up-and-coming producer (Vince Vaughan) moves into the neighbourhood and slowly begins stealing Ray's thunder. Kev ditches Ray for the newcomer, and Beef becomes too caught up in his own depression, leaving Ray to handle this alone.
After several months of humiliation in which he loses everything he's ever owned, Ray finally hits rock bottom. While staggering around the streets screaming incoherently, he runs into his father, Ramses (Clint Eastwood) who beats Ray to a pulp before reminding him that it's not money or friends that's important, but the Smuckles family name.
Inspired and energized, Ray resolves to take down his new rival. He returns to his mansion (which had been purchased from him by his rival) where he finds that the only reason he had lost everything was that Beef's no good brother, Showbiz (Jack Black) had been selling it all on e-bay, and that in reality the new hotshot had never been competing with Ray in the first place, and that he has actually been admiring him from the outset and that his greatest aspiration has been to work at Primetime records. Ray's conflicts with Beef and Kev are resolved, and all sub-plots (including: Philippe going to school, Nice Pete almost killing Teodor before getting beat up by Cornelius, Pat and Rod's break-up/make-up) are wrapped up.
Memorable moments would include:
Ray screaming non-sequitorials
Gay jokes about Pat
Awkward sexual tension between Teodor and Molly
Also featuring:
A small-name, talentless actress as Molly
Dana Carvey trying to make a comeback as Vlad
A complete and utter disregard for any character development established in the comic
Now tell me you wouldn't want to see that movie
Of course, now I've realized what Achewood would be like if it was a Will Ferrell movie:
Ray (Will Ferrell) is a wealthy, well-liked entrepreneur at the top of his game. When he isn't out making "heck of benjamins," he's spending his time either out partying with his Cousin Kev (Owen Wilson) or with his best friend Roast Beef (Edward Norton) and Teodor (Ben Stiller).
One day, this all changes when a hot new up-and-coming producer (Vince Vaughan) moves into the neighbourhood and slowly begins stealing Ray's thunder. Kev ditches Ray for the newcomer, and Beef becomes too caught up in his own depression, leaving Ray to handle this alone.
After several months of humiliation in which he loses everything he's ever owned, Ray finally hits rock bottom. While staggering around the streets screaming incoherently, he runs into his father, Ramses (Clint Eastwood) who beats Ray to a pulp before reminding him that it's not money or friends that's important, but the Smuckles family name.
Inspired and energized, Ray resolves to take down his new rival. He returns to his mansion (which had been purchased from him by his rival) where he finds that the only reason he had lost everything was that Beef's no good brother, Showbiz (Jack Black) had been selling it all on e-bay, and that in reality the new hotshot had never been competing with Ray in the first place, and that he has actually been admiring him from the outset and that his greatest aspiration has been to work at Primetime records. Ray's conflicts with Beef and Kev are resolved, and all sub-plots (including: Philippe going to school, Nice Pete almost killing Teodor before getting beat up by Cornelius, Pat and Rod's break-up/make-up) are wrapped up.
Memorable moments would include:
Ray screaming non-sequitorials
Gay jokes about Pat
Awkward sexual tension between Teodor and Molly
Also featuring:
A small-name, talentless actress as Molly
Dana Carvey trying to make a comeback as Vlad
A complete and utter disregard for any character development established in the comic
Now tell me you wouldn't want to see that movie
puguglypress
+1 -0
Replace Edward Norton with Jeff Goldblum and you got a movie.
Replace Edward Norton with Jeff Goldblum and you got a movie.
kingcrimson
+0 -0
That's actually a good point. I didn't even think of that. But as soon as you said it I thought of Jurassic Park and realized "Yeah, perfect."
That's actually a good point. I didn't even think of that. But as soon as you said it I thought of Jurassic Park and realized "Yeah, perfect."
tekende
+0 -0
Jeff Goldblum as Beef, I can see it now. "Well, uh, well I, well, uh, I...y-you got to put on your, uh, your face...eyes and, uh, well, sit in your...body chair, heh, and, uh..."
Jeff Goldblum as Beef, I can see it now. "Well, uh, well I, well, uh, I...y-you got to put on your, uh, your face...eyes and, uh, well, sit in your...body chair, heh, and, uh..."
tim_simmons
+0 -0
A comment left by tim_simmons was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Ishbario, Jesus, illgamesh, nutmeg)
A comment left by tim_simmons was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Ishbario, Jesus, illgamesh, nutmeg)
jthompson
+17 -0
Mercedes was the company that made Hitler's armored limo.
Just throwing that fact out there. Sorry guys for making you learn against your will!
Mercedes was the company that made Hitler's armored limo.
Just throwing that fact out there. Sorry guys for making you learn against your will!
tim_simmons
+7 -0
hell of dang
hell of dang
boredom_man
+0 -0
I assumed that was the whole point of Tim's post.
I assumed that was the whole point of Tim's post.
tim_simmons
+1 -0
no one understands me.
no one understands me.
anitrophaeron
+0 -0
Ford was the company that made the Model T. Just throwing it out there.
Ford was the company that made the Model T. Just throwing it out there.
mattfish
+0 -0
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by alphagator, Jar, TwoTonTurkey)
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by alphagator, Jar, TwoTonTurkey)
cjfoster
+0 -0
i enjoyed your computery anger.
i enjoyed your computery anger.
tellumo
+2 -0
A million ancient Hondas from the 1970s with like a half-million miles on them and that still run like dreams beg to differ.
A million ancient Hondas from the 1970s with like a half-million miles on them and that still run like dreams beg to differ.
charchar
+3 -0
chubbied for subject-verb agreement. it looked dodgy at first but you fucking nailed it .
chubbied for subject-verb agreement. it looked dodgy at first but you fucking nailed it .
zem
+0 -0
the 'and' was completely out of place however
the 'and' was completely out of place however
natjo1986
+4 -0
I notice that Todd's left ear is cut. I wonder how that happened?
I notice that Todd's left ear is cut. I wonder how that happened?
epicurus
+30 -0
They probably filmed the lobster wrestling already.
They probably filmed the lobster wrestling already.
dboothe
+1 -0
Todd is Master Splinter?
Todd is Master Splinter?
sargasm
+18 -0
Todd is like the exact opposite of Master Splinter in every way
Todd is like the exact opposite of Master Splinter in every way
sstralka
+6 -0
I bet Todd wonders the same thing.
I bet Todd wonders the same thing.
stopeatingmyeyes
+2 -0
every cokehead i've ever met talks just like this
every cokehead i've ever met talks just like this
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by alphagator, mashisoyo, Bophur, nilehus)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by alphagator, mashisoyo, Bophur, nilehus)
mattfish
+0 -0
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lazarusloafer, NumberKillinger, Audhumla)
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lazarusloafer, NumberKillinger, Audhumla)
alphagator
+0 -0
I did my part to help
I did my part to help
twotonturkey
+0 -0
The best part is, if (ok when) Todd dies from all the cocaine, all he needs to do is find a Friendly's bathroom to come back.
The best part is, if (ok when) Todd dies from all the cocaine, all he needs to do is find a Friendly's bathroom to come back.
rolotonybrowntown
+7 -1
It's true. That car has been numbers 1-11 on Carcaine Enthusiast's top ten issue for 14 years running.
It's true. That car has been numbers 1-11 on Carcaine Enthusiast's top ten issue for 14 years running.
wae
+5 -0
Other competitive entrants: Porsche 944, van with air-brushed scene of ancient Latin Americans, that car from Knight Rider
Other competitive entrants: Porsche 944, van with air-brushed scene of ancient Latin Americans, that car from Knight Rider
gouldgonewild
+1 -0
You're right, Mr. Feeny is a pretty sweet car.
You're right, Mr. Feeny is a pretty sweet car.
senseihollywood
+0 -0
I think the DeLorean would be right up in there as well...
I think the DeLorean would be right up in there as well...
senseihollywood
+0 -0
in fact I'll go one further and posit that DeLorean was the Belushi of car makers...
Discuss...
in fact I'll go one further and posit that DeLorean was the Belushi of car makers...
Discuss...
ewin
+3 -0
No joke, this car is parked on my street as we speak. Wow.
No joke, this car is parked on my street as we speak. Wow.
stabones
+1 -0
sounds like a party!
sounds like a party!
jackparsons
+0 -0
Onstad lives in Palo Alto, and I used to. That car is pedestrian in them precincts. On the other hand, every so often a 100lb. mountain lion turns up in someone's backyard, so the place is not all bad.
Onstad lives in Palo Alto, and I used to. That car is pedestrian in them precincts. On the other hand, every so often a 100lb. mountain lion turns up in someone's backyard, so the place is not all bad.
tellumo
+0 -0
do such mountain lions prefer to eat those who own such cars, or fancier ones? Please say yes.
do such mountain lions prefer to eat those who own such cars, or fancier ones? Please say yes.
ssddr
+3 -0
Todd that big in frame is pretty distrubing. Also not that todd enraged is only a five hundo problem, not a six hundo problem.
Todd that big in frame is pretty distrubing. Also not that todd enraged is only a five hundo problem, not a six hundo problem.
twohundredninety
+3 -0
I don't think Ray is giving Todd the money to pacify him. Ray doesn't look disturbed in the slightest by Todd's attitude, and based on his comments yesterday -- "Any executive can spot a cokehead, a great one can make him a Belushi" -- Ray was planning to give him the money anyway, in order to encourage his cocaine habit.
It doesn't really look like Todd's pissed at Ray anyway, to me. I think he's just coked up and really enthusiastic about this car.
I don't think Ray is giving Todd the money to pacify him. Ray doesn't look disturbed in the slightest by Todd's attitude, and based on his comments yesterday -- "Any executive can spot a cokehead, a great one can make him a Belushi" -- Ray was planning to give him the money anyway, in order to encourage his cocaine habit.
It doesn't really look like Todd's pissed at Ray anyway, to me. I think he's just coked up and really enthusiastic about this car.
augeno13
+0 -0
i agree and thought it was pretty clear at "unless that place is your nose"..
i agree and thought it was pretty clear at "unless that place is your nose"..
tellumo
+0 -0
oh nose!
oh nose!
randyleepublic
+1 -1
Precisely. Todd is not "serious money" Giving him just shy of 6 hundred is pointedly deliberate of Ray, although he knows Todd won't get it.
Precisely. Todd is not "serious money" Giving him just shy of 6 hundred is pointedly deliberate of Ray, although he knows Todd won't get it.
phthoggos
+37 -2
IT'S LIKE, WHY DO THEY EVEN FRIKKIN' MAKE OTHER COMIC STRIPS?! IDIOTS! FRIKKIN' IDIOTS! DON'T MAKE COMIC STRIPS EXCEPT THIS ONE!
IT'S LIKE, WHY DO THEY EVEN FRIKKIN' MAKE OTHER COMIC STRIPS?! IDIOTS! FRIKKIN' IDIOTS! DON'T MAKE COMIC STRIPS EXCEPT THIS ONE!
rotating-dog
+0 -0
Ray channels his inner Trump in panel 5. And once again, gets things done.
Ray channels his inner Trump in panel 5. And once again, gets things done.
cailetshadow
+19 -0
Ray is like a slum lord. And Todd is the slum.
Ray is like a slum lord. And Todd is the slum.
mcphercj
+0 -0
Ray has channeled some interesting ethics here. Supporting Todd's coke habit for eventual Belushi-style profit. Whatever, I guess I'm ready for another surreal Todd death sequence.
Ray has channeled some interesting ethics here. Supporting Todd's coke habit for eventual Belushi-style profit. Whatever, I guess I'm ready for another surreal Todd death sequence.
sargasm
+0 -0
He's definitely come a long way from checking Todd in for rehab on his own tab.
He's definitely come a long way from checking Todd in for rehab on his own tab.
wae
+4 -0
You are mistaken.
Trump merely channels his inner Ray.
You are mistaken.
Trump merely channels his inner Ray.
lacrimus
+4 -0
Sniff snaff snoof
Sniff snaff snoof
duskbringer
+2 -1
You know that Todd ain't braggin'
That's a real pussy wagon
Nose whitening!
Go go go go go go go go go go go
You know that Todd ain't braggin'
That's a real pussy wagon
Nose whitening!
Go go go go go go go go go go go
serf
+0 -0
i think onstad is setting todd up for a big fall. well bigger than usual. im just glad to see him back in full coked out force, and hey, at least he kicked the smack.
i think onstad is setting todd up for a big fall. well bigger than usual. im just glad to see him back in full coked out force, and hey, at least he kicked the smack.
chuvak
+0 -2
HAHAHA and todd's gonna be all like Dude Where's My Car (TM)!
HAHAHA and todd's gonna be all like Dude Where's My Car (TM)!
brycemidas
+7 -0
If this 1983 Mercedes is Rockin', I'm doin' coke to Dokken.
If this 1983 Mercedes is Rockin', I'm doin' coke to Dokken.
jackparsons
+0 -0
Oh my god. It's full of stars.
Oh my god. It's full of stars.
crouchjump
+18 -0
Idea #2: Smokin' Poles - Todd slides down a firepole and lands inbetween the bosoms of an ample-chested lady. Todd proceeds to shout obscenities at her while waving a salad fork.
Idea #2: Smokin' Poles - Todd slides down a firepole and lands inbetween the bosoms of an ample-chested lady. Todd proceeds to shout obscenities at her while waving a salad fork.
spectre
+0 -0
That would have been PERFECT for Anna Nicole Smith . . . can we get Carmen Electra, maybe? Is she working these days?
That would have been PERFECT for Anna Nicole Smith . . . can we get Carmen Electra, maybe? Is she working these days?
jlynes
+2 -0
For that international, go with Katie Price. Huge fake jugs, absolutely no class. She'd shout obscenities with him.
For that international, go with Katie Price. Huge fake jugs, absolutely no class. She'd shout obscenities with him.
jlynes
+1 -0
International FLAVOR, that should have read.
International FLAVOR, that should have read.
mike24
+0 -0
woah, has todd ever been shown up close like that before? a piece of his left ear is missing.
woah, has todd ever been shown up close like that before? a piece of his left ear is missing.
madnes
+2 -1
Has he been tagged by rangers, and that tag has been torn out? That is what I think it might be.
Has he been tagged by rangers, and that tag has been torn out? That is what I think it might be.
lateadopter
+1 -0
He was shown closer-up in the bathroom-at-Friendly's-in-Hell arc, where his eye was visible. The nose arc and ear detail are first-time occurrences. As for the ripped ear, I figure he was fighting some other squirrel over a dime bag while fucking.
He was shown closer-up in the bathroom-at-Friendly's-in-Hell arc, where his eye was visible. The nose arc and ear detail are first-time occurrences. As for the ripped ear, I figure he was fighting some other squirrel over a dime bag while fucking.
snidedk
+0 -0
I'm not sure I can handle Full Frontal Todd.
I'm not sure I can handle Full Frontal Todd.
pyromancer
+0 -0
I've never seen Todd's full frontal Nose Arc feature before.
I've never seen Todd's full frontal Nose Arc feature before.
philosophe
+0 -0
considered-great is a compound adjective. That is so perfect. "It's a considered-great car!" The sales guy should say this.
considered-great is a compound adjective. That is so perfect. "It's a considered-great car!" The sales guy should say this.
rogergs
+2 -0
Waterslide Magic minus the selfish sex is actually not that great an idea
(it is like one of those skits that gets put on after the first post-Weekend Update commercial break)
Waterslide Magic minus the selfish sex is actually not that great an idea
(it is like one of those skits that gets put on after the first post-Weekend Update commercial break)
nsrdude
+2 -1
Maybe I'm just being thick but it seems like Ray just wants Todd to OD.
Maybe I'm just being thick but it seems like Ray just wants Todd to OD.
spectre
+1 -0
That's the season finale -- sets up a GREAT cliff-hanger.
That's the season finale -- sets up a GREAT cliff-hanger.
nsrdude
+0 -0
Will Todd die? More than likely.
Will Todd return? Of course.
Will Todd die? More than likely.
Will Todd return? Of course.
phthoggos
+0 -0
I guess you didn't get the Belushi joke
I guess you didn't get the Belushi joke
judasburrito
+3 -0
Todd was captured, neutered, and released. They clip the left ear.
Todd was captured, neutered, and released. They clip the left ear.
jugglegod
+0 -0
Not just one kind, but ALL kinds of handjobs.
Not just one kind, but ALL kinds of handjobs.
taiiga
+2 -0
settlin' for a good story arc. niceee.
settlin' for a good story arc. niceee.
sizone
+0 -0
Todd's rampant cocaine usage makes Phillipe sad. I see this story line concluding with a trashed hotel room followed by an intervention.
Todd's rampant cocaine usage makes Phillipe sad. I see this story line concluding with a trashed hotel room followed by an intervention.
mrclarinet
+6 -2
This storyline will end with Todd, a born-again christian and reformed drug addict, wearing a tiny white suit with a white tie, going door to door and trying to get people to accept j-j-j-jesus into their h-h-h-hearts.
This storyline will end with Todd, a born-again christian and reformed drug addict, wearing a tiny white suit with a white tie, going door to door and trying to get people to accept j-j-j-jesus into their h-h-h-hearts.
dejavroom
+3 -0
"all kinds of handjobs"
"all kinds of handjobs"
gormster
+0 -0
There is apparently more than one kind.
There is apparently more than one kind.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh yeah man
Fast, slow, clumsy, lubricated, dry, etc.
Oh yeah man
Fast, slow, clumsy, lubricated, dry, etc.
rowboat
+0 -0
Don't forget tiny ones. Tiny handjobs. "THJs."
[Please enjoy this inside joke which only, like, four people in the world - only two of whom are on assetbar - would understand or appreciate.]
Don't forget tiny ones. Tiny handjobs. "THJs."
[Please enjoy this inside joke which only, like, four people in the world - only two of whom are on assetbar - would understand or appreciate.]
rowboat
+1 -0
Just for the record, it has nothing to do with children. Just wanna get that out there.
Just for the record, it has nothing to do with children. Just wanna get that out there.
lawbot
+0 -1
I feel like I've learned something today. This strip should be used in schools to teach children about cocaine use.
I feel like I've learned something today. This strip should be used in schools to teach children about cocaine use.
le_chien_manquee
+0 -0
it's the coke that makes comedians funny
it's the coke that makes comedians funny
senseihollywood
+0 -0
just ask Chevy Chase...
the epitome of the Pinnacle of Comic Genius / Painful to Watch career slide...
see also: Robin Williams...
just ask Chevy Chase...
the epitome of the Pinnacle of Comic Genius / Painful to Watch career slide...
see also: Robin Williams...
ttagxamm
+8 -1
Yeesh, Robin Williams career slide has it's own gravity, all collapsing into itself like a black hole, temporal anomalies causing even his early stuff to suck.
Yeesh, Robin Williams career slide has it's own gravity, all collapsing into itself like a black hole, temporal anomalies causing even his early stuff to suck.
ttagxamm
+1 -1
Also influenced by the crushing gravitational force of Robin William's flop-sweat soaked late career: the migrating apostrophe in above comment. His manic "genius" is tearing me apart.
Also influenced by the crushing gravitational force of Robin William's flop-sweat soaked late career: the migrating apostrophe in above comment. His manic "genius" is tearing me apart.
norrin
+0 -0
"You know, Chevy Chase woke up one day and he just wasn't funny anymore."- Studio 60
And you leave Robin Williams alone!
"You know, Chevy Chase woke up one day and he just wasn't funny anymore."- Studio 60
And you leave Robin Williams alone!
ttagxamm
+2 -0
Hey guys, YMMV! Would it help if I expressed my opinion as an impression of a rapper done by a man who hasn't listened to hip-hop since the Sugarhill Gang? Or maybe a mincing hairdresser?
Hey guys, YMMV! Would it help if I expressed my opinion as an impression of a rapper done by a man who hasn't listened to hip-hop since the Sugarhill Gang? Or maybe a mincing hairdresser?
lawbot
+4 -0
I just realised that I cannot set up a lobster-baiting ring because it became illegal in England two years ago.
For the same reason, I cannot make a Todd-style video of fighting a lobster. This is how socialism crushes entrepreneurship.
I just realised that I cannot set up a lobster-baiting ring because it became illegal in England two years ago.
For the same reason, I cannot make a Todd-style video of fighting a lobster. This is how socialism crushes entrepreneurship.
honesttom
+1 -0
Illegal? Shit, I'm in a lot of trouble now.
Illegal? Shit, I'm in a lot of trouble now.
coolbreeze3
+0 -0
Don't spend it all in one place, unless that place is your nose. Simply wonderful.
Don't spend it all in one place, unless that place is your nose. Simply wonderful.
nsrdude
+0 -0
Ray knows that todd will spend it all on coke. I imagine ray also knows that that much coke would result in an od. Especially in a squirrell.
We know that ray has no objection to killing off his companions, just look at nice pete.
Ray knows that todd will spend it all on coke. I imagine ray also knows that that much coke would result in an od. Especially in a squirrell.
We know that ray has no objection to killing off his companions, just look at nice pete.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
I don't think Ray likes Pete or Todd that much. He would never do this to Beef, or Teodor. Probably Pat though.
I don't think Ray likes Pete or Todd that much. He would never do this to Beef, or Teodor. Probably Pat though.
tombsgrave
+0 -0
Todd vibrates like... well... something that is prone to vibration. It's cute!
Todd vibrates like... well... something that is prone to vibration. It's cute!
atmus
+0 -0
Isn't that the same care that "gay John" bought on NYPD Blue? Sheesh Todd, between this and the plate frame on your van, people are going to wonder about you.
Isn't that the same care that "gay John" bought on NYPD Blue? Sheesh Todd, between this and the plate frame on your van, people are going to wonder about you.
wae
+1 -0
Todd brought pictures from several different angles, so that Ray will have no question about the fact that Todd wants a 1983 Mercedes
Todd brought pictures from several different angles, so that Ray will have no question about the fact that Todd wants a 1983 Mercedes
steerpike66
+6 -0
I now have Steve Buscemi's voice permanently implanted in my head for Todd.
FUCKIN' SHIT-BOX GRGH! Y'SHOT ME IN THE FCKIN' FZ!
I now have Steve Buscemi's voice permanently implanted in my head for Todd.
FUCKIN' SHIT-BOX GRGH! Y'SHOT ME IN THE FCKIN' FZ!
joeyramoney
+3 -0
steve buscemi is the correct choice for todd's voice.
steve buscemi is the correct choice for todd's voice.
stopeatingmyeyes
+0 -0
lord knows
lord knows
miku224
+0 -0
I need more chubbies. Now.
I need more chubbies. Now.
joeyramoney
+0 -0
that specific car.
that specific car.
jonnay
+0 -0
Is this the first time Onstad has shown Todd straight on like this?
Is this the first time Onstad has shown Todd straight on like this?
luckyg
+0 -0
Yes. Also, where he is not entirely fitting within the panel.
Yes. Also, where he is not entirely fitting within the panel.
checkmatejones
+0 -0
Ray is not a slick record executive.
Ray is not a slick record executive.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
On the contrary, posthumous albums sell . And if Todd is lucky enough to choke on his own vomit, Ray will have a musical legend on his hands.
On the contrary, posthumous albums sell . And if Todd is lucky enough to choke on his own vomit, Ray will have a musical legend on his hands.
luckyg
+0 -0
Did Ray just get fingers in this comic? Trippy, and a little disturbing to look at.
Did Ray just get fingers in this comic? Trippy, and a little disturbing to look at.
gormster
+0 -0
Nope, Ray's always had fingers. Some great examples mid GOF.
Nope, Ray's always had fingers. Some great examples mid GOF.
gormster
+0 -0
Though admittedly these ones are much creepier.
Though admittedly these ones are much creepier.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Listen, you frikkin' moron! I g-g-gotta have a car just like the one Mrs. Hart drives! Don't you know that the H-H-Harts have the best frikkin' stuff?"
This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous!
Listen, you frikkin' moron! I g-g-gotta have a car just like the one Mrs. Hart drives! Don't you know that the H-H-Harts have the best frikkin' stuff?"
This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous!
stevepants
+0 -0
incredible
incredible
sherief
+0 -0
Todd can keep his Van in the trunk of the Benz.
Todd can keep his Van in the trunk of the Benz.
jackparsons
+0 -0
Take a whole lotta blowjobs to buy that Benz.
Take a whole lotta blowjobs to buy that Benz.
trevor
+0 -0
A comment left by trevor was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, silver_lake, sherief)
A comment left by trevor was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, silver_lake, sherief)
pygmalion00
+0 -0
who would win in this scenario: Todd in his Mercedes, or Lyle in his AMC Hornet?
who would win in this scenario: Todd in his Mercedes, or Lyle in his AMC Hornet?
biff
+0 -0
Depends on what they are trying to win.
Depends on what they are trying to win.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
a kilo of raw, uncut, Columbian blow?
a kilo of raw, uncut, Columbian blow?
tellumo
+0 -0
Lyle, if only because 1) every vehicle AMC ever made is so ugly that The Death of Cars declines to take them and 2) Lyle, while he has his drug problems (specifically alcohol), never would run so far off the rails as to lose a contest against a twitchy cokehead like Todd. I submit as evidence the case of Lyle v. the Mechanical Bull .
Lyle, if only because 1) every vehicle AMC ever made is so ugly that The Death of Cars declines to take them and 2) Lyle, while he has his drug problems (specifically alcohol), never would run so far off the rails as to lose a contest against a twitchy cokehead like Todd. I submit as evidence the case of Lyle v. the Mechanical Bull .
lobster
+0 -0
Ray is so calm and Todd is just awful.
Ray is so calm and Todd is just awful.
love_hz
+2 -0
In the m-m-m-minds of the m-m-m-main mattering men the speed up before the slow down will add to the art of this artifice! (i didn't even have to look that up)
In the m-m-m-minds of the m-m-m-main mattering men the speed up before the slow down will add to the art of this artifice! (i didn't even have to look that up)
anitrophaeron
+1 -0
You should have looked it up.
You should have looked it up.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
This is a distubingly in depth look at Smuckles psychology, and as such rates high. Note that Ray's balloons are formatted almost like Beef's usually are. Hmmm.
This is a distubingly in depth look at Smuckles psychology, and as such rates high. Note that Ray's balloons are formatted almost like Beef's usually are. Hmmm.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Where did Chris get those little tiny black and white pictures of a Mercedes SL for Todd to hold??
Where did Chris get those little tiny black and white pictures of a Mercedes SL for Todd to hold??
gormster
+1 -0
Photocopier, scale 10%
Photocopier, scale 10%
tellumo
+0 -0
Chubby for knowing how to work a photocopier. I can't stand people who freak out when they need to make more than one copy--hell, the machines tell you how to work them these days.
(Why yes, my dad does work for Xerox, how did you guess?)
Chubby for knowing how to work a photocopier. I can't stand people who freak out when they need to make more than one copy--hell, the machines tell you how to work them these days.
(Why yes, my dad does work for Xerox, how did you guess?)
gsurge
+0 -0
I love any strip with Todd.
I love any strip with Todd.
treasure
+1 -0
hopefully the delivery by Ray of a little tiny 1983 Mercedes for Todd will raise the issue of the origin of the van as was mentioned at the end of the origin of todd strip.
hopefully the delivery by Ray of a little tiny 1983 Mercedes for Todd will raise the issue of the origin of the van as was mentioned at the end of the origin of todd strip.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
re: Ray's latest Oz blog. Ray has to come out with me and watch some rock bands. Wash that hiphop right out of his hair...
re: Ray's latest Oz blog. Ray has to come out with me and watch some rock bands. Wash that hiphop right out of his hair...
gormster
+0 -1
"Australians have never produced a single poem. It's a point of national pride."
Haha, right. Banjo Patterson never existed. 'The Many From Snowy River' wrote itself .
"Australians have never produced a single poem. It's a point of national pride."
Haha, right. Banjo Patterson never existed. 'The Many From Snowy River' wrote itself .
gormster
+0 -0
Ugh, 'The Man from Snowy River', obviously.
Ugh, 'The Man from Snowy River', obviously.
fielding
+1 -0
I don't know, I didn't think it was obvious. I just assumed Snowy River turned out to be a really terrible river and all the settlers came back. And Banjo Patterson, an overworked city zoning ordinance clerk, wrote a poem about his troubles over where to put them all?
I don't know, I didn't think it was obvious. I just assumed Snowy River turned out to be a really terrible river and all the settlers came back. And Banjo Patterson, an overworked city zoning ordinance clerk, wrote a poem about his troubles over where to put them all?
gormster
+0 -0
It is on our money . That makes it difficult to forget. But I think it speaks to our nature that all our famous poetry is about the outback and/or killing things.
It is on our money . That makes it difficult to forget. But I think it speaks to our nature that all our famous poetry is about the outback and/or killing things.
gormster
+0 -0
Fuck, I left so many words out of that sentence, just forget it.
Fuck, I left so many words out of that sentence, just forget it.
madnes
+2 -1
Thankyou for proving the point that we are all illiterate convicts, down this way ;)
Thankyou for proving the point that we are all illiterate convicts, down this way ;)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Contemporary poetry down here is as Hard as Ray imagines. Dude went to jail once... sorry, gaol.
Contemporary poetry down here is as Hard as Ray imagines. Dude went to jail once... sorry, gaol.
zefiel
+0 -0
Kids and cokeheads basically want the same car.
Kids and cokeheads basically want the same car.
2fs
+0 -0
I swear, Onstad, you must have worked for this guy I worked for like ten years ago: one day he just had to have a new car, and went utterly apeshit trying to find exactly the right model of Mercedes, ripping through the Yellow Pages like a sexually engorged bull elephant, motormouthing to salespeople who probably were wishing they'd stayed home to sort junk mail instead. Whoa. That wasn't me though. Not at all. Nope.
White Mercedes!
I swear, Onstad, you must have worked for this guy I worked for like ten years ago: one day he just had to have a new car, and went utterly apeshit trying to find exactly the right model of Mercedes, ripping through the Yellow Pages like a sexually engorged bull elephant, motormouthing to salespeople who probably were wishing they'd stayed home to sort junk mail instead. Whoa. That wasn't me though. Not at all. Nope.
White Mercedes!
missbee
+0 -1
fived for ray's hands in panel 5.
fived for ray's hands in panel 5.
phthoggos
+0 -0
oh no I lamed you! What I meant to say was, panel 5 reminds me of Barack Obama.
oh no I lamed you! What I meant to say was, panel 5 reminds me of Barack Obama.
mc_white
+2 -0
I'm talkin' five or fif-fif-fifteen kinds of handjobs Ray! Talkin' handjobs that they invent new types of hands just to frikkin give 'em!
I'm talkin' five or fif-fif-fifteen kinds of handjobs Ray! Talkin' handjobs that they invent new types of hands just to frikkin give 'em!
connormc
+0 -0
T-talking handjobs? What could a handjob... possibly have to say ?
T-talking handjobs? What could a handjob... possibly have to say ?
rowboat
+0 -0
"Well, it sure beats wiping your ass!"
-Talking Handjob
"Well, it sure beats wiping your ass!"
-Talking Handjob
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Talkin' Handjob Blues
Talkin' Handjob Blues
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
I just realized something: Todd has a nick in his left ear.
I just realized something: Todd has a nick in his left ear.
duperando
+0 -0
DUDE. I just realized that the style that Todd is drawn in changes from the last comic he is in to this one. His nose is more stick-out-y, and he looks more insane. Before he had a more rounded nose.
Iiiinteresting.
DUDE. I just realized that the style that Todd is drawn in changes from the last comic he is in to this one. His nose is more stick-out-y, and he looks more insane. Before he had a more rounded nose.
Iiiinteresting.
I like where this is going.
Waterslide Magic is a "piece," it is delicate.
A comment left by barthexderosa was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by luckypyjamas, Zem, VictoriaW)
What exactly about hand-jobs on a waterslide remind you of sparkle motion?
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, kenthegod, atticusonline, LocusCosecant, kestral)
I'm only laming you because of that second paragraph.
it's okay. it was a calculated risk.
Funny, I only didn't lame him because of the second paragraph.
I chubbed him because of the second paragraph.
TONIGHT YOU DINE ON LAMES