If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
A mis-step. Monday, June 15, 2009 • read strip Viewing 491 comments:

The poo was Mexican magical realist poo.

Just like olden times!

In olden times, Onstad would never have written such a hastily-patched-together shortcut line as "I kinda wish Charley and me were back home already and I was wipin' this dog off on clean, wet grass."

It's basically present-tense exposition. Is there even a word for that?

But he has to say if for it to be a wish, which is granted by the Made in Mexico tag, which apparently grants wishes.

I know, that's the exposition part - it's awkwardly inserted into the dialogue like exposition often is.

I felt the exposition deep in my bones, knowing that like all exposition, it wasn't as good as those in the old days.

It's sheep shite, not dog excerment. Not like olden times. It's like celebrating a birthday party but with people you're strangely unfamiliar with. The scene and occasion is the same, but the atmosphere is all different .

Quote:
It's sheep shite, not dog excerment.


In Wales, better known as Chucked Berries.

Not to be confused with chuckleberries.

Not to be confused with Chucklebot.

...or the guy who does the duckwalk and plays Johnny B. Goode.

not to be confused with Chucklevision

I suppose the wish could have been in Ray's head, without being shown as a speech bubble, and then he'd have fizzled out with no exposition.

Exactly, Yon Good Man.

Thereby confusing the fuck out of all but the most cleverest of achewoodians.

But isn't that the point ?

That's not confusing at all. It's obvious what's happening there.

I think the only hole in this theory is that thinking in comicland is denoted by a thought bubble or thinkin'cloud.

Agh you are right, woodenteeth. With this wishing idea, Onstad has doomed us to understanding what is going on. There is simply no way to avoid Exposition and thus Do The Webcomic Story Right.

Except maybe Planning It Out Properly From Day One.

Don't cramp his creativity maaaaaaaaaan.*

* I aggree. Time he got his plan on.

Which, I have to say, is a disappointing general magical thing for a poncho to do. Granting wishes is very blah, as opposed to the camera that shows you how you feel about yourself of the raining-inside RV.

or?

The RV with rain inside must be for mermaids or something

It is so that British people can feel at home in any country. Not that any British person would have any idea what an "RV" is.

It is about how he can never truly escape. He wants to go camping, but indoors. The RV has shown him that the wild cares not and will bring the outdoors inside to him. Not just the sunny, pleasant outdoors he wants, but a cold, grey downpour.

Mexican Magical Realism is all about confronting hard truths, poignant realizations, and getting dicked around emotionally.

wouldnt british people call it a 'caravan'? or am i assuming things about 'snatch' that arent true?

Romantic Venison?

It is so that British people can feel at home in any country. Not that any British person would have any idea what an "RV" is.

wouldnt british people call it a 'caravan'? or am i assuming things about 'snatch' that arent true?

It is so that British people can feel at home in any country. Not that any British person would have any idea what an "RV" is.

I get it - British people no understandee RV, yes?

I'm too nervous to scroll down and find out exactly how many time this has happened with my comments today.

wouldnt british people call it a 'caravan'? or am i assuming things about 'snatch' that arent true?

Hilarious. A caravan is a seperate mobile living area usually attached to the back of an RV or 4WD (as Colonials know it).

Hilarious. A caravan is a seperate mobile living area usually attached to the back of an RV or 4WD (as Colonials know it).

Hilarious. A caravan is a seperate mobile living area usually attached to the back of an RV or 4WD (as Colonials know it).

thank you for clarifying. i honestly didnt know...

Isn't a 4WD an SUV? An RV is a gigantic camper-van.

No, 4WD is 4-wheel drive, but most SUV's do have it as an option.

Yeah sure, but I was under the impression that an RV was a large motor home.

I wish Onstad would make another comic so we can all talk boring shit on a new webpage.

CORRECT!

CORRECT. Also known as a 5th wheel.

You're reading a webcomic

Livestock excrement! What a reminiscent circumstance!

Call the lithographer! We must make record of this moment for future musings ont!

Paul Revere does the etching. Suddenly, there are tar and featherings all over the colonies. Franklin returns from England. The revolution against sheep has begun.

Do we have to dump sheep into Boston Harbor? Because that just seems one step too many in the direction of unnecessary.

Unneceffary.

And they make horrible tea bags ... Their hooves just can't handle packing tea into the little envelopes.

... Why? What did you think I meant?

sheep's intestine-wrapped satchels of tea leaves

Who would tea-bag a sheep?

You'd be surprised at how surprised you are about the number of people.

What kind of sheep are we talking about here? How old? Shaved?

if youre going to put conditions on it, then dont bother.

Don't ba-a-a-ther.

[[high5]]

Wouldn't ewe like to know.

O-vine, be that way.

Unnefeffary?

I don't think so, Tim.

Oh well.. i tried..

No one can accuse you of not doing that, at least.

They loved yon sheep too much.

Look at the expression on the poncho's face in panel four. It does not want to be seen with drunken Ray.

You'll remember that the poncho closed its eyes when the tag was first ripped off, and now that the tag is back in its vicinity its eyes are once again opened.

Nice! Did not catch that the first time through.

Is everything made in Mexico Magical?

The fact that Salma Hayek was made in Mexico is a good example. But this is still a white crow argument, despite her universally known gooooood tits.


.....which, she claims, were also magical:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToQQorOYDy4


The cycle is unending.

Salma Hayek is clearly as mad as a brush, albeit in a sexy way. What is interesting is that her madness seems to be specifically related to her bosom, seeing as she not only believes that they were created by the intercession of an imminent God, but that she travels round the world nursing other people's children.

Salma Hayek's boobs are like Lazarus, Loafer Of The Greatest Business Minds. They drag her into success and madness.

i wish she would nurse me.

I take it you saw Across The Universe? There was a lot of her in that movie. I mean, many of her.

no, but im seriously considering it now...

DO NOT. The good tits do not mitigate the general horribleness.

I love The Beatles, but not when their music is sung by karaoke-level kids in an overblown mess of a movie. It sucks.

Agreed. Terrible.
"See? The Vietnamese women singing 'Jai Guru Deva' are painted white and fall into the water! Get it? Innocence and transformation! I'm sure glad I took an English class, or I'd know this sucks!"

I recommend watching Across the Universe, with the following stipulations:

1. Ignore the plot. Completely. It's stupid and awkward and they force it to fit the lyrics. Don't ignore the performances, which are for the most part pretty good.
2. That said, there is the occasional bad peformance, occasional bad arrangement and occasional bad vocal. There is, at times, cheese. Deal with this, and know that it never lasts too long.
3. Watch it in HD with good surround sound. This is vitally important.

It's a little like The Wall in that if you watch it as a movie, you're going to be disappointed.

I recommend watching "Titus" instead. It is the only decent thing (including the wretched Lion King) Julie Taymor has ever done. Which is interesting because it's entirely awesome.

Damn. Yes. Hopkins is amazing in his classical element.

Titus is fantastic, but I also like Frida a lot.

Nah man, The Wall is like a good music video for a whole album. Across the Universe is closer to Moulin Rouge , trying to string together a story out of a bunch of mostly unrelated pop songs. Except Moulin Rouge did it better.

For an earlier look at the same idea applied to Beatles music about 30 years earlier, watch the Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band movie. And when I say watch it, I mean burn your eyes out rather than watch it. It makes Across the Universe look like Picnic Panic Two , yo.

If you want to see a good Beatles movie, watch A Hard Day's Night . That movie is most excellent. Pitch-perfect comedy.

Yes! I just re-saw it recently, and loved the hell out of it. Every single one of those fuckers is a pretty damn good comedic actor. Especially John and Ringo.

Most def. Help is patchy and dated, Magical Mystery Tour is stoned hippie self-indulgence, but Hard is fucken wicked.

who watches a musical not expecting cheese?

SOMEONE likes Across the Universe.

It's 21echoes, and I'm gonna go ahead and say he has Bad Taste. Cause Across the Universe was god awful. I have never cringed so much.

But Bad Taste was great! It even had an exploding sheep !

I still prefer 1,000 elephants, ala Civil War , a CMOT Dibbler production.

Early Peter Jackson > Terry Pratchett > later Peter Jackson.

"The sad news is that we will be heading for Nalic Nod with six of our co-workers in a state of permanent death. They died today, murdered by some real assholes."

Thank you, joeynarcotic.

Watching the trailer alone I got the impression that it was made to say "Baby Boomers are teh most important people EVAR!!1!!11!".

Correct. I'm really looking forward to when there's no more baby boomers blowing themselves via Hollywood anymore.

Thankfully Hollywood is already hard at work destroying everything that our generation has ever loved so we will never succumb to that temptation.

In about thirty years we'll start seeing a lot of similar movies about our own generation, except instead of Vietnam and Nixon they'll deal with Iraq and Bush.

Joy of joys, I cannot wait.

What tekende says here is true. Great cinematic horrors lie in wait for us.

Well, yes, it has been proven scientifically that insanity among women is proportional to breast size.

So?

I dunno, Dolly Parton seems to have her shit together.

i thought it would be based on the amount of children she has/had, based on my mom. but then again, there are some screwed up chicks out there who are too self-centered to have children.

{quote]Well, yes, it has been proven scientifically that insanity among women is proportional to breast size.[/quote]

No. Women will be as crazy as the can get away with. And the bigger your tits, the more people will tolerate.

Quote:
FUCK YOU ASSETBAR

Your tits must be very, very small.

Psst. doppelganger is a dude.

that would make belgand correct.

I was saying that due to being a dude and thus having tiny tits Assetbar was unwilling to tolerate him.

Yes. Especially Ponchos. I should know.

Is....is that a manga Man With No Name?

All one massive bead of sweat signifying stress, skin colour kind of wrong.

btw that iz y i chubbied u lolz

nice.

A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Mattsolo, JeffSpaulding, sardoniclaconic, fancypants, woodenteeth, Sweetlips, helikaon, Lynnym, coldfrog, salvar, Rawk5tar, Centipede_Damascus)

I was out of lames so one of your chubbies is really a lame.

A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Mattsolo, Absurdist, fancypants, Granularsilica, Sweetlips, Centipede_Damascus)

Awww

Let me see if we have a container of troll flakes around here for you, buddy

He just wants you to comb his luminous hair into various interesting patterns.

He just wants you to comb his luminous hair into various interesting patterns.

Can't we all just grow up and laugh at the sheep poop comic?

you LOVE it!.

Unfortunately I am out of lames.

A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by 21echoes, Squidge, Absurdist, gingerbreadman, fancypants, Lynnym, Centipede_Damascus)

You kind of suck.

y u talkin' n2 a mirror? haha

No. I jerk off in front of the mirror. I generally insult other people.

elpoep rehto yllareneg I . rorrim eht fo tnorf ni ffo krej I .oN

now u jus' seem stupid. lol

you forgot tlusni

you type like a retarded sasquatch fetus. and you took the time to respond to my comment in mirror-speech. so i think you have the stupid department pretty much covered, hombre.

Glad is an essential variable. We need him, whether or not we realise it. I've been reading for four times longer than I've been posting, and if there was a reason I did not enjoy one of Glad's posts, it was due to an incorrect life that I no longer maintain.

Commence hog fluffing.

He fulfills my quota of racism, sexism, etc. and allows me to ignore that aiu douche without any regrets.

you spelll realize with a 's' instead of a z. ergo you are of a superior race and i must bow to your ineffable wisdom.

The important thing is, do you wish to have his retarded sasquatch fetus?

Kathy... Kathy... Have my retarded baby.

Lamed for dialect nazism.

ignored for 1) misuse of the word 'dialect'; 2) general ignorance of 'nazism'; 2) not attesting to the fact that the Anglo-Irish people are so awesome that they have the monopoly on correct grammar.

Sad... the 'ignore' button should be reserved for far worse personal violations. Farewell, fancypants. I wish you well.

We crackers also have the monopoly on counting to three

conceded

inessable?

Doesn't Vlad cook Tlusni?

Also you left the lid up.

The ladies of this assetbar regretfully decline your invitation to socialize. We are sorry for this inconvenience.

Sorry dogg, they are spoken for. Even the uggos. (emosexy is not one of the uggos)

Uggos? Hey man, I'm a dude.

are u familiar with alice cooper?

Uggos? Hey man, I'm a dude.

are u familiar with alice cooper?

Uggos? Hey man, I'm a dude.

are u familiar with alice cooper?

Uggos? Hey man, I'm a dude.

Way to quadruple-post twice on the same strip, you goddamn Kate-lover.

(Am I allowed to be a stranger to a dick?)

That sounded harsher than I intended.

Is it dickish not to care?

I see what you did there.

Oh man, sorry everyone. I blame anyone who ever told me that Firefox was a preferable web browser.

You can blame them all day long and Firefox will just sit there saying "Yoost yu vait!"

Firefox can read your mind, just make sure you think in Russian.

are u familiar with-- MY COCK??!

is he your father?

Thank you. I was merely speaking for myself to decline, but I had hoped to be a spokesperson for the ladies, uggo or not.

that was a safe bet to take, im sure.

I'm not sorry.

Ah, the less well known "deus ex Mexico." Well played, sir. Well played.

This was funnier when tetsujin said it .

As I tend not to read assetbar religiously, I missed this earlier reference. My apologies to Iron Man for stepping on his joke, it was unintentional. I will wear a red "U" for "unoriginal" upon my chest for one full day as penance.

A chubby for being a gentleman. (And I thought wozzeck was the last one).

Nah, he's just sexist.

It's more of an all-encompassing chauvinism, really.

Let's not split hairs.

No, lets!

Look, what is this about me.

My ex is not a machine nor from mexico!

Rock me, Ama-

I really love the "NOTE: NOT OVER." in the bottom right corner. Didn't see that the first time.

It's important to note that Ray only kinda wishes they were home.

I was wondering why exactly Charley disappeared along with Ray. I think I'm too slow for this comic.

Ray's wish included Charlie. But where's the magical tag now?

I have one just like that on my panties. Care to make some wishes?

Quote:
I think I'm too slow for this comic.


But there's nothing slower than this comic.

Comics: "So Slow, They're Stationary! " (c)

Ah, the old Gwynedd laver-bread song. It comes right between 'Jerusalem' and 'Two Little Boys' in the discerning whisky drinker's repertoire of sentimental early-morning yelling. Perhaps I can interest you in this twenty-disk collectors compilation, before I burst into tears and pass out on your shoulder?

Do you think I would leave dying?

^you^


There is room on my horse for two.

You are having a one man singalong on the internet.

No,you are.

Ha ha, that could be a synonym for wanking!

Ha ha, that could be a synonym for wanking!

You sing when you're wanking?

Play the fiddle ?

Tickle the ivory?

Stroke the genital?

A genital by any other name would taste as sweet.

Ha ha, I actually call it "tickling mousie."

All buck toothed and furry... with a tail .

All frightening elephants.

All carrying the hantavirus.

NOW YOU ALL KNOW WHY I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

And I thought it was the overbite.

I was almost certain she had a penis somewhere

:(

Don't be saddened; no malice was meant by Mensch. We adore you. We really do. (Yes. I do speak for Mensch - he is my pet troll). Right Mensch?

Right.

We

are

all

trolls!

GASP!

At ease, missy.

There's really only just the two of us here.

Believe him (me).

Its true.

WHAT'F GOING ON I splutter through my horse teeth.

Looks like a goblinfest

You know, your looks are really growing on me (and others).

MY LOOKTTHHH ARE JUFT FINE!

A comment left by plummet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by faits, Courtland, Stonecrab, old_chap, wingspan)

Wow. Welcome to my ignore list.

Me, or hims?

What? No! Plummet, not you.

Even as sarcasm that shit is just poorly conveyed.

:(

Don't go changin your avatar. Booo! Do not feed the trolls their dickery.

The earlier one was more how I always feel :(

A comment left by plummet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Stonecrab, IronDave, Lynnym)

And obviously blowjobs and candy are the only reason one person would want to be pleasant to another person.

Of course not! There's also money.

mcq

we are on the internet

it is a magical place where there is no logical reason to be nice to somebody.

example: Assetbar

oh man there is nothing cooler than a person on the internet being mean to some girl, nothing ! it is just so alternative!!! i mean, the Internet is a Hate Machine, right? GET OVER IT, GIRLS AND """"WHITE KNIGHTS""""" i at some place they do these really cool threads where they like, find a girl on their internet forum, and they make FUN of her and then its like, meta irony because they are making fun of other people who make fun of GIRLS on the INTERNET and then they are also, on top of that, making fun of the people who """"WHITE KNIGHT"""" (this is an internet term fyi) the GIRL by saying she's actually a beautiful baby

they also get to make fun of a girl which is pretty cool for a guy who doesn't get to do that a lot "IRL"

the last time i saw one of these things was around 2005 so thanx for bringin it back, plummet

by the way i was wondering if any of you would like to pretend to enjoy rap music for awhile, i think that is pretty cool too

I like rap music too

once i was trying to enjoy myself on the internet, doing quizzes and filling in surveys, and someone called me a juggaho!!

it was awful!

I was really mad.

When is a time that you felt really mad about something said to you on the internet? Has anyone ever approached you in an insulting way, maybe saying that your favorite sports team was no good, or that your haircut was "untrendy"? E-mail us about it!

--Moms on the Internet

once I wanted to see some naked chicks but the internet was not working I think that should be illegal

I was all ready to have a rant at plummet about the whole deal, but there you are getting shit done while I was sleeping. Nice.

Autre. Autre, dear. Have my retarded, porygonal baby.

you gave me a chubby so i gave you one


Because you like to shove mice into your cooter?

Ouchies :(

I wank when I'm singing.

And that's why no one wants to go the karaoke bar with joeynarcotic.

Coming soon:
==JOEYNARCOTIC WANK/KARAOKE BAR==

I WOULD GO.

The first two rows will get wet.

itll be like gallagher. only erotic.

it'll be like gallagher. only funny

Wait, let me get you my address...

hatstand_mcq... I need to drink with you. Heavily. We will sing of battles we have not fought, and hold our manhoods cheap whilst any speaks upon the glory of our forebears.

I pretty much never stop holding my manhood.

Keeping your sausage hostage ?

Is that what it looks like when a sheep is making pickles? Because I thought they kinda just walked around and dropped it wherever, without having to do the squats. That sheep appears to be constipated or something.

You know what it's like after eating Mexican food? This is what happens when you eat Mexican magical realism. It may seem like fun at the time, kids, but you pay later. Just don't do it!

No meal should ever be described as 'fun'.

I don't want to know you. I have had many a fun meal, and, once or twice, a happy meal.

According to hatstand, all meals should be eaten in silence, shame, and guilt.

He is clearly a wasp.

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Oh wait that's bees.

wassssssssssp ?

oh god what have i done

White Anglo Saxon Super Solvent Sometimes Sexin' Sally Protestant?

Black European Episcopalian Socialites?

I'm afraid I expressed myself badly. I'm not saying that a meal should not be an enjoyable event. I'm saying that it is folly to try and make the actual food you eat during your meal 'fun'. I'm not attacking the idea of cheerful and lively mealtimes, I'm objecting to chicken dippers, mini burgers and stuffed crust pizza: food for people who don't have the attention span to wield a knife and fork simultaneously.

how can you balance your plate while wielding a knife and fork on such a high horse?

Amusingly shaped chicken-based meat products might be of assistance?

my thoughts exactly.

You have besmirched the name of Nannerpuss and I demand my SATISFACTION !

When I was a small child I once ordered a pudding that was pictured on the menu in the shape of Pingu. In my innocence I thought that the whole construction was forged from ice cream and chocolate. When it arrived it was a plastic container in the shape of a penguin, and inside was a single scoop of vanilla ice cream, partially melted. I watched my friends tuck into gigantic banana splits, and Knickerbocker glories, and I vowed 'never again'.

sorry guy :(

demand all you want... it has nothing to do with me.

Oh I don't know, your mother is pretty fun

You're really attacking sliders on purpose? You sure you want to do that in a board full of stoners, ex-stoners, or wish-they-were-old-enough-to-have-enough-cash-to-be-stoners?

(I do not smoke, nor have ever; I am the odd one in my family)

So am I. Never had a slider

I thought sliders was that TV show with the fat kid from Stand By Me in it all grown up.

It was! It is! He's hot now!

Goodbye Papa, light one for me.
I was the odd one in my family.
You tried to help me make a bong.
Too much health food, cheerful songs,
wonder how I got along.

You know, I never really realized how many heads are on here until now. I thought I was just being paranoid

It's a web comic about stuffed toys & cats with constant bong breath. This is completely a thing.

i had the suspicion that there were heads

but people are always talking shit about people who poke smot, especially on the Interwub, so I figured it'd be best if I didn't say anything

While they're talking shit, let's take a puff on this fatty boom batty drugs-type joint and laugh at them.

I don't know if I partake because I have a problem, or if I have a problem because I partake.

All I know is, I'm anxious without it, and it does not impede my intellectual pursuits or unwieldly verbosity. Combined with caffeine, it led me to my greatest revelation: The word "Pentasyllabic", which I believe I dreamed up, is perfectly self-descriptive.

i dont regularly burn it up. probably 5 times in my whole life. the one time, i was already 45 degrees worth of drunk, and i took 3 gigantic hits off a blunt the size of andre the giants middle finger. i ended up losing my face virginity that night. its remarkable because i hadnt even kissed a girl yet. i skipped 1st and went straight to 3rd.

You kissed the wrong lips.

You kissed the right lips!

Pssst, pass it on-- Rim Jobs are the new third base.

Please don't ask me what home is, because I will tell you.

Please mattylite, tell us what home base is. We will love you for it I swear.

Thank god someone asked. The answer is this: home is what you steal when you rape.

I rape her hand, I rape her face

CHUBBIES FOR DUDES WHO ROLL CHUBBY BLUNTS

hooray, man. hooray for some dudes.


goddamn fucking too far from the original post to be relevant. shit.

Close enough. Problem with wives today is too much un repressed emotion (the result of which is a knife thrown through the kitchen wall).

The problem with which wives?

You mean the wives that I...

...Boned?

THESE WIVES!

THESE WIVES! And what are they throwing?

No

Hairy Hissyfits.

Ambitious, thegoblins. Ambitious.

Pride goeth before a fall.

Still nice to see June in any context.

Quiet desperation for pudding , it's the English way.

But you can't have any desperation pudding if you don't eat your repression meat.

i snicker every time i hear that guy going on about, "how can you have your pudding if you dont eat your meat?"

its funny because it can have a sexual connotation.

Your gracing of this assetbar honors me, venerable daidai.
But please, refrain from accusing men of the dastardly sin of Protestantism.

Methinkf thou doft proteft too much.

Yes, ordinarily their turds just bubble out with no particular exertion required (certainly without anything like concentration ). I attributed this sheep's efforts to the passing of the tag, it's special qualities giving it a unique clinging character.

I agree. Usually it is a light thing for a sheep to bestow a Dukeship upon the courtyard

chubbed for the enjoyable metaphor.

Cartoons sometimes exaggerate things so you can "read" the action. Squat equals defecation. (Cartoon tip #29-B)

Also, in the USA, we still dock sheep tails because they are much too stupid to consider lifting them while pooping, which can cause semi-major infections.

I cannot think of a good reason why the rest of the Western world no longer does this. I mean, for dogs and such it's all about being humane etc, but for sheep it is a matter of hygiene that the sheep do not possess on their own.

Mulesing , it is still a thing.

Great article.
Great Article- Quote:
Mulesing is a controversial topic with many different opinions.


It is already written like a 5th-grade report for ease in cut/paste preparation.

Throughout human history, the practice of mulesing has been hotly debated among its fans and fannies. Some of these debates have made it clear that this is a topic worthy of lengthy discussion, within this report that I am handing to you at some point slightly before you read this sentence.

Where'd ya grow up then, in a cube? Sheep an' goats shit little pellets like rabbits, but they're dry almost upon contact with th' ground, lad. For it to stick to Ray's peg, th' ground must've been exceedingly wet.

Soooo, the dewy-eyed sheep shat poo-pellets 'n Unicorns 'pon the dewy sod....in tha morrrrrr.........nin!

Not pickles, fer Gawrsh sake.

Beggin' yer pardon, then, yer roight. Twas Onstad his own self grew up in a cube. A squattin' sheep indeed.

It depends what they are eating, fresh grass can lead to very interesting almost liquid deposits which ooze interestingly between bare toes.

(Uninteresting and probably unnecessary childhood reminiscence.)

I was under the impression that that's all that sheep eat.

Here in oz they eat dry food, hay & grain, through the summer months and it takes a while for their digestive system to adapt to green feed when the rains come.
A bit like us if we switch to green apples after months on pizza.

I... don't have any personal experience with that particular dietary transition, but consider the point illustrated!

Ze eyes! Zey come aliiiive!

It seems to be a result of the hecho en mexico tag reuniting with the person wearing the poncho.

Panels 1-3 illustrate how Christopher Onstad is a terrible man. Terrible .

You should know. I read your memoirs, Klaus. You should be ASHAMED.

When in Austria...

Oh, Osterreich. Why, oh why, did somebody have to crap out a retarded baby Germany?

Ja, Mann. Vat gives?

I think I have a magical pair of Nikes

I have a jar for you to wash

The tag is not just the power as the alt text says -- it's The Power, from Sphere.

I wish I could make this comment chubbier.

You can. Just stare at Davide.

chris devoted time and effort into drawing a sheep sheeting.

i stand by my typo.

and then she shat on the turtle.

You should squat or sit by it. [i]Always[/i}.

That's the first time I flubbed up BBCode. HUBRIS.

So I guess Lloyd with never get to fly. Tis a shame...

He will never know the true nature of the baize of a girl of bearing age.

Sheep do not squat when defecating.

But Nagel models do.

YEAH BUT

Good point.

This could be why the sheep is so confused? It looks to be in a serious kerfuffle.

NOTE: NOT OVER

REVO: TONE TON

Oh my, it took me two days to understand what you did there. I feel pretty stuuupid.

GAWGW? Well, are you?

AAAAAAARRRRRGHHH!

And here I thought the arc was being swiftly and mercifully put out of our misery...

Onstad is reading this comment and has on his cool face

Problem Assetbar?

GET THE FUCK OUT OF....ooooooh.

Carry on.

You are a fool if you cannot appreciate the beauty and glory of Ray and Charley in Wales.

So be it, then. Guess I'm a fool. There's worse things to be.

Sometimes you just wanna be out of Wales and back in your own space-time continuum.

Quote:
Sometimes you just wanna be out of Wales

SO MANY WALES

SO MUCH WALES

I'm very sorry. The next time I will not enter a time machine with a sheep, a lump of coal, and a piece of damp, grey felt.

In all fairness though they have a dragon on their flag. Does your flag have a dragon? Wouldn't it be cooler if it did? Maybe Wales is a bit more awesome than we think.

No, it actually is not. But the dragon is still pretty great.


The Wyvern if the only dragon unable to pleafure himfelf manually.

When the English have the flag of St. George, though, that just sort of makes Wales the eternal underdog.

That's what happens when you walk on Alien eggs. Oooh, shit!



Well that was easy enough.

Isn't that what she said?

Sadly.

sadly, no.

"Sadly, no" she said, sadly.

Sadly, he said ""Sadly, no" she said, sadly."

Does "back at home" refer to location only, or also to time?

It seems a lot you read this only on assetbar, and never go to achewood.com. For your edification, here is Onstad's ephemeral response to his readers:

Quote:
There was a longish Saturday night strip prior to this, for you continuity types (you know who you are).


(And I get to find out if asset-bar-b-code will allow italics inside a quote!)

Sheep poo > Dog poo

actually, lack of poo>poo

I want to know what happens if you wear the magic poncho to protect yourself from the rain of the RV. Then use the camera to take a picture of proof of it raining inside an RV.

Every time a story line comes up about Hencho en Mexico I want to drive down to Nogales and buy some knickknacks.

Oh yeah, the Hencho mens of Nogales. They some nasty cats.
You couldn't pay me to drive down there.

Nagel sheep wants its hat back.

A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by karljw, cunty, gladi8orrex, skoora, Stonecrab, tripleG, IronDave, willt)

is he wearing a life jacket? what a pussy

more like

Rob Brydon Hates You. That is all.

"It's just another example of the [i]institutionalized[/] racism that is accepted when it's directed towards...the Welsh."

I am so sorry for messing up that BBCode right there.

i'm conflicted; by giving this strip a 5 I feel as though I am contributing to onstad's smoking habits.

No, don't worry...You're still readin' it free, so no matter how you rate the strip, you won't be contributing to any of his bad habits.

Oh shiiiit... I just realized I was being a dick to a stranger. :(

that is not cool, bro

Is not so dickish. You are not having such dickery.

Vlad picks, foreskin to frenulum, until you are dickest you are ever being.

(In this metaphor, the Glans and its accoutrements are a beautiful, beautiful flower! I think I just sat on Georgia O'Keeffe!)

At least she didn't sit on you. Particularly if you have pollen allergies.

i chubbied

being a dick to strangers is way better than being a dick to people you know.. ask your friends of you don't believe me!

Well...thanks! I am still feeling the guilt, tho. I'm pretty sure it's an Achewood rule since 2005, when Ray said, "No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever!" (He was sort of stoned at the time, but this was good advice I have tried to follow.)

yeah but the thing is that ray is *always* a cock to strangers. if he doesn't already know you, you probably aint worth knowing.

"HAH! What a mistake!"
That sirs, is The Pinnacle of 17th century Welsh drunken heckling.

onstad is so immature and scatological

i bet he wants to fuck that sheep

Don't you?

I'll be honest. I don't like all this shape shifting poncho shit.

Some good dialogue as always though : ) : )

are you now know as the vaguelydissatisfiedturk?


And what happens when he encounters TheFlyingGreek?

I did that with a hooker once.

Wales: only place on Earth where seaweed is a delicacy.

(All of asia)

It is the food that I can share with my wood-eating catfish as we bond.

Wood-eating catfish? Hmmm?


Panaque nigrolineatus houses the same cellulose-digesting bacteria in its hindgut as termites. All catfish of the genus Panaque are limnovoric to some extent, and will eventually perish without driftwood present in aquaria.

AND THEY SHIT SAWDUST! Thank you for this fish, God.

That is gawgeous.

Forget what you knew about craveless Nori.

UR ALL CUNTS

m so fn mad right nah, jeez jus' don' even twok 2 i m so fn mad;

;
';
;
'
'
'
';
;
';
;
'

oh gladi, gladi...

When will you morph into that beautiful butterfly?

When pigs fly.

But... swine flu.

Come on now

Who's the idiot

Who is daddy's idiot

... Dad ?

.. out his ass.

God help me, but here's my: I'm not so into this whole time travel into heaven Wales thing.

That's sort of like saying that you think The Beatles are overrated, by this point.

And by that I mean that you're probably going to make sje cry.

Success!

Why does he need to have stepped in shit to wish anything?

Doesn't the poncho work on its own?

Or is it broken without the tag?

Or does this mean the tag is all that makes stuff hecho'd in Mexico mágico?

I like that the arc is so badly wrapped up. Onstadt has been struugling (Dutch-Welsh-English) since mid-story, knowing he wants to bring Lil Nephew back to modern huupenings, and he's got the next arc fleshed out. Just didn't expect it'd take three damned strips to get Ray there, play out a few more scenarios, stagger the interest of readers... and now he's rushing the finish with this empty crap and a note that there's a little more Men of Olde story to come, just none of it has to be about Ray looking for Charley THANK GOD.

I tought everybody had it figured by now, but i guess it is not the case.

The Hecho in mexico is the key here. It is the source of the power, but, also, it is influeneced (or did influence) by the nagel serape, as he transform a regular sheep in "nagel-sheep". As i said it could be an inherent property of the tag or influence from the poncho. The Poncho only work when he is connected or close enough to his tag, wich you can see by the nagel serape eyes status.

God it's so easy.

MAYBE THE PONCHO ART WANT TO BE ALIB\VE oops sorry caps or maybe ray want it to be or see it as more vibrant than it is maybe ray is of low art taste.

how about you quit bitching and learn to be appreciative of all that onstad has given us?

count your blessings, man

preach it sister

Neon and Glad have become ersatz Rodney Kings.

Tune in next week for the next exciting episode of "How the Troll Turns."

I think it is important to disambiguate trolls. Some are hilarious fixtures, others are terrible abominations.

The worst of us have desk jobs.

New strip Wednesday night (17th century Wales time)

"But then, as is always the case" was so good. Impermanence? Circle of life? Dog shit?

How Herrimanesque.

had to chubby this before it got lost in the shuffle

As is always the case, a sheep shits out a plot device.

but...

does the mexican tag stay?

It falls off mid-travel and they become stuck in some interdimensional state for a long time, but when they return it will seem as if they never left...

aight onstad dogg

you went out and claimed new strip tonight Pacific , so can't use no "it was still wednesday in hawaii" quackery to get out of this one.

imma hold you to it bro

Hawaii is in the Pacific...

They have the lonliest of time zones. Just Hawai'i and the Aleutians(HST).

Is Hawaii in the god damned Pacific time zone you shit for brains moron? Next time, stop and think a minute about connotation and context before you drop a condescending ellipsis on the internet...

Neonfreon...

For you, I think, a puppy:


I think he probably needs a little pussy.



happy to oblige

so uh.. what does giving a cocksucker a little pussy do? i mean, how does that help them?

You've got to give people what they love the most.

[img]https://www.lonestarphotos.com/Images/Nature/rooster.jpg[/img}


He wants a comb-over?

I wish mine had a beak like that.

There are surgical procedures for that.

lol nice plumage on that cock

u guys ever eat a cock? i hear they are really nasty, like the bird equivalent of eating a scrawny dog. plz advz

I wrote a long and very self righteous post about modern farming methods, and the low quality of factory farmed chicken, but this is clearly not the forum so I won't post it. Suffice to say that, penis jokes aside, cock is delicious if cooked properly. And the bird isn't bad either.

So you are talking of a cock farm ?

A frat house ?

A cock's only as good as the man wielding it.


Is...is that a Cowboy Wimp?

Quote:
}


you are getting kinda shifty

Dude, it was a joke. A joke about how we're probably not going to get the new comic within the next two and a half hours. Relax.

lolll

im totally relaxed and lol'n hard

i chuppy condescending ellipse rant. neefree iz strange undefined quantityt. is maybe not always toll byt is always same character. like manfleschman and gladdi is always psoting in the same voice... is impossible voice... no one is that monolinear in reel life. no one. is act on internet. neefree is internet actor. is maybe penis who use computer when owner asleep. would explain lack of flacidity, excessive cocknability.

ha ha
Quote:
Nearly 600 subscriber-only Achewood installments in our Premium Subscriber Service! | New strip Wednesday night Pacific (like, Tongan Pacific).

lols

we need some way to archive onstads excuse postings. onstad could probably include them in a print edition at some point. each comic can have a list of excuses onstad made about its being delayed and it will be all nostalgic and self deprecating and greatq

wait, so he owes YOU?

how about nobody owes anybody anything, maybe

i have a Funny Thing i do on the internet, and I don't tell anybody when, if ever, more of it is going to happen. I don't owe the gaggle of nerds who think it is clever anything, and they don't owe me their continued watchment if they decide they can't handle the stress of not knowing whether or not it will ever return, or if it will be funny. I like that system.

Onstad should maybe just cancel Achewood, then come back around when """"the muse strikes him"""", and we can all be just so grateful to have one ounce of rock hard cat cock in our lives.

NOOOOOO! Oh shiiiiiiiiiit!!!

if its so hard to wait for the next comic, learn how to knit or something.

where did i say THAT?

We are in whales. So many whales.



happy bday man kep up deh kippups an guyvuh kix, much luv

You know, in some ways, I feel bad for that ewe. Routine processes of physical elimination have forced her to leave her glamorous life behind forever. Who hasn't been there?

I think the greater question is the level of interest in maintaining her new style compared to her tolerance for rooting through her own shit with her mouth. I mean, assuming she was able to recognize the cause and effect.

i wonder when onstad will run out of witty rephrasings of 'we're late again'

I agree. He sounds so ineffectual. And when the strips are constantly as weak as they have been, it devalues the whole thing.

I wish he was half as clever in his comics as he is in coming up with ways to say "I can't fucking deliver anything when I said I would"

Quote:
my dog ate my webcomic

yes but how do we know any of the people bitching about Onstad actually has a brain and isn't just mindlessly repeating the 'Onstad is late and weak again' meme?

yes but how do we know any of the people bitching about Onstad actually has a brain and isn't just mindlessly repeating the 'Onstad is late and weak again' meme?

maybe the comic being late every motherfucking time gets old and people want to vent here

maybe you bitches ought to create your own web comics, so they can be issued at a more reasonable rate. then wipe the sand out of your vajay. then stop bitching like a 9 year old.

See, my love for Achewood allows me to recognize when it is suffering. If you love something, you don't want it to become devalued. I don't want Achewood to become no good. Therefore, I WILL voice my concerns.

ur conceerns dont mean shit so stuff it, gay boy

who says "vajay" aside from 9 year olds?

when will our culture realize that 30 year old men making jokes about 9 year old vajayjays is inappropriate!!!! You all owe an apology to all 9 year old vajayjays!!!

but seriously if you all are going to discuss this you need to separate the complaints about the quality from the complaints about the timeliness! Quality and timeliness are generally two separate discussions, except that quality is often in many endeavors incompatible with timeliness.
Motherfucking Garfield was on time every day for decades. So was Cathy! and Marmaduke. And my boner in the morning! Okay wait that last one is a bad example.

As for complaints about the timeliness, I have a suggestion... maybe go read a fucking book or something.

I personally would be happier to be surprised when a new strip comes than to have a couple days of "I swear, it's almost finished" which is inevitably postponed at least a day from the original time stated.

I always know when it will not be done (i.e., the time/date when Onstad puts up a note saying it will be done), therefore I am not annoyed when it is not done at the time I did not expect it. Instead, I am pleasantly surprised on the rare occasions when a strip appears with no warning (Saturday nights, usually) or with warning.

If that is relatively impenetrable, thank you.

Look, Onstad is an artist. Can't ya just maybe cut him some slack? I'm telling you ain't nobody gettin' burned on this deal - know why? He is GIVING you a damn GIFT with every fucking strip you read on this FREE site!! (Sorry, but i'm startin' to get pissed off...) And, dammit you just don't complain about gifts. Dammit.

I'm glad to see more and more people are getting fed up with the descending quality and continued tardiness of the comic. I think no one here wants the comic to suck. Most of us have been coming here for years and are faithful to it. But its dissapointment after dissapointment after dissapointment after...

A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chivalress, ike, SkiddyFisk)

Hear. I once considered this webcomic the pinnacle of its art, now it's slowly becoming Megatokyo with more cat cocks.

did you mean ".. pussy cocks"?

quit ur belly-achin', shit

Being a jerk is okay if the basic argument you support is either in favor of the comic's current direction, or against those who don't appreciate it.

man fuck you, don' act lik u no me

I'm not acting like I know you.

Also, you may find that I'm not acting like I want to know you...

i'll fuck you rite off ur highhorswe u piece o shit. quit frontin' lik u better den eery1 else, shit

NO!

OK! Look here im dissapointed.

I was imagining that Little Nephew and Ray would form two camps bringing in the way of modern Gomorrah, pieace by pieace.

But it just went to me ex machina!

Ah, that would've been fun. Somehow I think the resulting fracas would wind up referencing "Braveheart" - but the idea of Ray's quest to find Charley resulting in, I don't know, some kind of difficulty - that could have been pretty cool.

Has no one else reflected upon this being the one true reason that Ray, Ray of Light, Reigning King of Men, is from...

History!

Second true reason. First was this arc .

Damn. I knew what I had missed before I clicked.

Me. A horny drunk Welshman?

Now how did my comment get all the way down here? i believed i screwed up yet again..