saurkraus
+11 -0
I have read this 97 times and it still hasn't got old.
I have read this 97 times and it still hasn't got old.
theryanking
+0 -0
A comment left by theryanking was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nighttoad, riotdejaneiro, Overmedicated, Vondicus, Ariamaki, lamelliform, GMM, rascaldom, apricotta, rhymesforkids, ConnorMc, revfitz, GusPlease, scraggg, Mastronaut, gkiyo)
A comment left by theryanking was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nighttoad, riotdejaneiro, Overmedicated, Vondicus, Ariamaki, lamelliform, GMM, rascaldom, apricotta, rhymesforkids, ConnorMc, revfitz, GusPlease, scraggg, Mastronaut, gkiyo)
peng33
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9MnF3BMCmY
DUANE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9MnF3BMCmY
DUANE!
afastidioushat
+0 -0
I think we all have a friend named Duane who we get inebriated with.
I think we all have a friend named Duane who we get inebriated with.
heyman
+2 -1
Duane IS the friend I get inebriated with
Duane IS the friend I get inebriated with
anathan
+68 -2
Duane is a bad influence. He likes watching NASCAR and blowing stuff up with M80s. He has a big pile of cigarette butts in the middle of his coffee table that he's too lazy to clean up.
Duane is a bad influence. He likes watching NASCAR and blowing stuff up with M80s. He has a big pile of cigarette butts in the middle of his coffee table that he's too lazy to clean up.
powderfinger
+2 -0
oh man, replace NASCAR with COPS and I was Duane from the years of 2004-2006. Then I got a girlfriend and a college education and fucked up all my fun.
oh man, replace NASCAR with COPS and I was Duane from the years of 2004-2006. Then I got a girlfriend and a college education and fucked up all my fun.
pascal
+9 -0
"...but in a way that may be too strong for people."
Hilarious.
"...but in a way that may be too strong for people."
Hilarious.
sidd2600
+24 -0
T-adore done tensed up like a bitch
T-adore done tensed up like a bitch
overmedicated
+1 -0
This is my favourite comment on Acheworld, for reasons I can't quite fathon.
This is my favourite comment on Acheworld, for reasons I can't quite fathon.
mr_pete
+45 -0
I prefer the whiskey where you look your life in the face, but you are okay with it.
I prefer the whiskey where you look your life in the face, but you are okay with it.
atom
+8 -1
That would have to be Early Times. "Just like Dad used to drink before he beat me!"
That would have to be Early Times. "Just like Dad used to drink before he beat me!"
tourach3
+0 -0
i've always preferred evan williams
early times seems like water to me
i once drank a whole bottle of it in a night and got pissed off because i was still sober :-(
i've always preferred evan williams
early times seems like water to me
i once drank a whole bottle of it in a night and got pissed off because i was still sober :-(
theryuujin
+3 -0
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
gormster
+2 -0
Dude. Someone replaced your whisky with water.
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but it is completely impossible for even the most hardened drunk to imbibe 750mL of 80 proof liquor and still be even remotely considered "sober".
Dude. Someone replaced your whisky with water.
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but it is completely impossible for even the most hardened drunk to imbibe 750mL of 80 proof liquor and still be even remotely considered "sober".
farqussus
+10 -0
in his unconscious dreams he was wandering around the party, mildly irritated at his lack of inebriation, later walking home early. In his life he was evacuating his bowels in the McDonald's carpark while two fourteen year olds stole his left shoe.
in his unconscious dreams he was wandering around the party, mildly irritated at his lack of inebriation, later walking home early. In his life he was evacuating his bowels in the McDonald's carpark while two fourteen year olds stole his left shoe.
nsrdude
+0 -0
A comment left by nsrdude was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Smallberries, Overmedicated, chivalress, bug, Girdag, brzbee, abe)
A comment left by nsrdude was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Smallberries, Overmedicated, chivalress, bug, Girdag, brzbee, abe)
atom
+3 -0
I dig how proudly Ray is surveying his bounty in the first panel.
I dig how proudly Ray is surveying his bounty in the first panel.
thisdoggisproice
+1 -0
I like Téodor clutching his face in anticipation, and the calm before the storm after Ray takes a swig.
I like Téodor clutching his face in anticipation, and the calm before the storm after Ray takes a swig.
varnish
+33 -0
But when you get to Duane's, the sumbitch is already passed out on the couch, empty bottle of Simple Man in one hand and the remote in the other, tv on the local cable access channel, where it's showing tommorow's lunch specials at the elementary school. So you grab a couple of bud's from the open fridge and head out. That's Duane for you.
But when you get to Duane's, the sumbitch is already passed out on the couch, empty bottle of Simple Man in one hand and the remote in the other, tv on the local cable access channel, where it's showing tommorow's lunch specials at the elementary school. So you grab a couple of bud's from the open fridge and head out. That's Duane for you.
alejandroadam
+1 -0
this actually does accureately discribe many college friends.
this actually does accureately discribe many college friends.
zem
+3 -0
normally i overlook spelling stuff but this one made me wince twice
normally i overlook spelling stuff but this one made me wince twice
trap
+1 -0
I'm imagining Tom Waits singing this right now.
Still on the fence.
I'm imagining Tom Waits singing this right now.
Still on the fence.
tekende
+1 -0
I imagine him slowly speaking the words, his voice rumbling from his throat in an unhurried manner, not unlike the vocals on "What's He Building?".
I imagine him slowly speaking the words, his voice rumbling from his throat in an unhurried manner, not unlike the vocals on "What's He Building?".
anomalous3
+20 -2
It is the whiskey of circumstances
It is the whiskey of circumstances
zefiel
+4 -1
My life's much better since I've introduced Whiskey to it.
My life's much better since I've introduced Whiskey to it.
eric
+1 -1
This is my favorite strip. It gave me my new favourite way to exit awkward situations.
This is my favorite strip. It gave me my new favourite way to exit awkward situations.
howard
+1 -0
I must say that most whiskeys tend to get me like that.
I must say that most whiskeys tend to get me like that.
senseihollywood
+0 -0
A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Carpetbag, sredni, dracer2, Direhaggis)
A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Carpetbag, sredni, dracer2, Direhaggis)
closefriend
+9 -0
Every time I tell someone about this strip, they laugh for 30 seconds, followed by, "Who's Duane?"
Every time I tell someone about this strip, they laugh for 30 seconds, followed by, "Who's Duane?"
eviltkat
+1 -0
That whiskey got Ray hella sassy
That whiskey got Ray hella sassy
1000hz
+8 -0
The all-black bottle was actually just a bottle of Mad Dog.
The all-black bottle was actually just a bottle of Mad Dog.
nessotron
+4 -0
Your mind always calls to your drunken self that Duane will be all kinds of fun. In reality, he's like a hairier, dirtier, version of Lyle, who sprawls on the couch snoring, TV blaring, and the lights always not quite run out, but they sure 'aint burning right.
Your mind always calls to your drunken self that Duane will be all kinds of fun. In reality, he's like a hairier, dirtier, version of Lyle, who sprawls on the couch snoring, TV blaring, and the lights always not quite run out, but they sure 'aint burning right.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
how in Hell could there be a dirtier version of Lyle..?
how in Hell could there be a dirtier version of Lyle..?
dj_insomniac
+0 -0
Not to mention hairier, considering that Lyle is a tiger?
Not to mention hairier, considering that Lyle is a tiger?
zapatos
+1 -0
Lyle doesn't have hair on his palms.
Lyle doesn't have hair on his palms.
qingofchina
+4 -0
I think that is regular whiskey mood.
I think that is regular whiskey mood.
untilyouaresonude
+3 -0
Something tells me Ray's pulled off of that second bottle once or twice before
Something tells me Ray's pulled off of that second bottle once or twice before
darkwaffle
+4 -1
Smart money says the all black bottle is really Gusano Rojo.
Smart money says the all black bottle is really Gusano Rojo.
hawaiian_robot
+0 -0
I think it's just straight Whiskey.
I think it's just straight Whiskey.
flavius
+3 -1
Looks like this wild card liquor must have been my father's favorite when I was a kid. I'm glad I can blame something other than myself for his abuse.
Looks like this wild card liquor must have been my father's favorite when I was a kid. I'm glad I can blame something other than myself for his abuse.
deancain29
+1 -0
Teodors face in the 2nd to last panel
Teodors face in the 2nd to last panel
molesticide
+2 -0
this one makes you tell a story about a really big bug you saw once outside a movie theatre then rape your girlfriend.
actually, that was the gusano rojo. in my defense, SHE bought it. and i did not know that gusano rojo actually existed, for real, until she did. laughed for like ten minutes when i did, nobody had any idea why.
this one makes you tell a story about a really big bug you saw once outside a movie theatre then rape your girlfriend.
actually, that was the gusano rojo. in my defense, SHE bought it. and i did not know that gusano rojo actually existed, for real, until she did. laughed for like ten minutes when i did, nobody had any idea why.
zem
+0 -0
uhhhhhh
uhhhhhh
zem
+0 -0
what
what
zem
+4 -0
did this guy just confess to rape and go largely ignored for two years? am i missing something
did this guy just confess to rape and go largely ignored for two years? am i missing something
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Dude, he said she bought it. Not his fault.
Dude, he said she bought it. Not his fault.
gournal
+1 -0
Plus I think the rape part of the story is forgotten when you start thinking about the really big bug that he saw outside a movie theater.
Plus I think the rape part of the story is forgotten when you start thinking about the really big bug that he saw outside a movie theater.
yoboyobo_ni
+0 -0
rape his girlfriend? Am I the only one who sees the oxymoron in that?
rape his girlfriend? Am I the only one who sees the oxymoron in that?
lizard
+0 -0
You mean "girl" and "friend" apparently
You mean "girl" and "friend" apparently
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Am I the only one who sees the terrifying attitudes expressed in these two comments?
Am I the only one who sees the terrifying attitudes expressed in these two comments?
lizard
+0 -0
You're not reading it right.
You're not reading it right.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Haha, oh yeah, your comment is fine.
Haha, oh yeah, your comment is fine.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
what the shit? what's aiu doing in the archives? Get the hell outta here, you little prick; scram!
what the shit? what's aiu doing in the archives? Get the hell outta here, you little prick; scram!
scifigrl47
+0 -0
Yes, because it's clear that once a woman agrees to date you, that is it for her legal rights, and her ability to control what touches and goes into her body.
"But we're DATING" is not an adequate defense for rape. Conversely, "He said since we're dating, I was obligated to put up with rape, so that's why I hit the son-of-a-bitch with my car," is an excellent defense. "Hit him with my car twice" is pushing it, however.
Yes, because it's clear that once a woman agrees to date you, that is it for her legal rights, and her ability to control what touches and goes into her body.
"But we're DATING" is not an adequate defense for rape. Conversely, "He said since we're dating, I was obligated to put up with rape, so that's why I hit the son-of-a-bitch with my car," is an excellent defense. "Hit him with my car twice" is pushing it, however.
jackparsons
+1 -0
Agave cacti have a very mild hallucinogen in the roots. There's a class of tequila made from this that you can't get here in the states.
Agave cacti have a very mild hallucinogen in the roots. There's a class of tequila made from this that you can't get here in the states.
paco
+0 -0
How exactly would one describe the effect of this bottle? I can't quite find the right adjective.
How exactly would one describe the effect of this bottle? I can't quite find the right adjective.
aelindil
+32 -0
Definitely not afraid of the fucking police.
Definitely not afraid of the fucking police.
apricotta
+0 -0
I want to give that comment all my chubbies.
I want to give that comment all my chubbies.
fuzzery
+0 -0
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
grandpayum
+0 -0
oh my god teodors arms in the second to last panel are the most hilarious things
oh my god teodors arms in the second to last panel are the most hilarious things
dwade
+0 -0
Ray is so furious in the second to last panel he is shaking. Duane had better be ready for one angry cat!
Ray is so furious in the second to last panel he is shaking. Duane had better be ready for one angry cat!
xiaomimi
+28 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: I guess I'm havin' a bad week!
Nice Pete: I am going to throw a party.
Little Nephew: SG server mus' be BR0k3N
"It iz m-possible 2 say how hott the GIFs of mah joint were, usin' language technology."
Today's Blogs
Ray: I guess I'm havin' a bad week!
Nice Pete: I am going to throw a party.
Little Nephew: SG server mus' be BR0k3N
"It iz m-possible 2 say how hott the GIFs of mah joint were, usin' language technology."
riazm
+1 -0
In my daydreams I imagine I can talk like little nephew writes.
In my daydreams I imagine I can talk like little nephew writes.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
How can you possibly accidentally leave something in the microwave for fifteen minutes, and then realise sometime later?
How can you possibly accidentally leave something in the microwave for fifteen minutes, and then realise sometime later?
mangtastic
+0 -0
Marijuana.
Marijuana.
justa
+3 -0
See, I figure "Duane's" to be one of those hell of run down taverns with the busted-up plastic Spuds MacKenzie sign in the front window and cigarette butts all just lying everywhere on the floor.
That is what my mind conjures when someone says "KISS MY ASS, BITCH! I'LL BE AT DUANE'S!"
See, I figure "Duane's" to be one of those hell of run down taverns with the busted-up plastic Spuds MacKenzie sign in the front window and cigarette butts all just lying everywhere on the floor.
That is what my mind conjures when someone says "KISS MY ASS, BITCH! I'LL BE AT DUANE'S!"
direhaggis
+0 -0
Ray stone cold sassed Teodor. Only way it could've been topped is if he bobbed his head to the side and snapped his fingers after while strutting outside.
Ray stone cold sassed Teodor. Only way it could've been topped is if he bobbed his head to the side and snapped his fingers after while strutting outside.
jonmw
+0 -0
I don't recall seeing this particular pose of Ray before. (last panel)
I don't recall seeing this particular pose of Ray before. (last panel)
wonelove
+0 -0
This Friday I will leave every room with style,
yelling
"KISS MY ASS BITCH! I'LL BE AT DUANE's!"
This Friday I will leave every room with style,
yelling
"KISS MY ASS BITCH! I'LL BE AT DUANE's!"
aaron_haynes
+2 -0
At least he tells you where he's going, though.
At least he tells you where he's going, though.
7th_shot
+0 -0
I was visiting my mother this week and thus was unable to leave the room in style.
I was visiting my mother this week and thus was unable to leave the room in style.
mustakrakesh
+0 -0
Ah the good ole days at Duane's
Ah the good ole days at Duane's
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Trailer Park in a bottle, now that's an invention. Though I think white trash multiplies fast enough already.
Trailer Park in a bottle, now that's an invention. Though I think white trash multiplies fast enough already.
gigoloferocious
+0 -0
I know what i'm getting for xmas!
I know what i'm getting for xmas!
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
Dear Assetbar,
Are you here, not because you love Achewood, but because there is someone in your life who does, and you are trying to understand them more? Try this trick: Randomly show them just the first panel of this comic. Then time how long they laugh. Wait a few months, do it again, and see how the two times match up. It's fun!
But it will not, unfortunately, help you understand your friend better.
Dear Assetbar,
Are you here, not because you love Achewood, but because there is someone in your life who does, and you are trying to understand them more? Try this trick: Randomly show them just the first panel of this comic. Then time how long they laugh. Wait a few months, do it again, and see how the two times match up. It's fun!
But it will not, unfortunately, help you understand your friend better.
fancyrat
+0 -0
Wouldn'tve been a five but for the slap.
Wouldn'tve been a five but for the slap.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Frankly, my guess is the other 9 bottles have a similar effect.
Frankly, my guess is the other 9 bottles have a similar effect.
audry
+0 -0
The Magic Hat of wiskeys
The Magic Hat of wiskeys
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
the all-black bottle is 'belligerent, surly, and abusive'.
the all-black bottle is 'belligerent, surly, and abusive'.
carlyle
+0 -0
Abusive Husband whiskey. It's not too good.
Abusive Husband whiskey. It's not too good.
archimedes2000
+0 -0
Words to live by. (alt text)
Words to live by. (alt text)
archimedes2000
+0 -0
libelandslander
+0 -0
"...boisterous and friendly, but in a way that will be too strong for some people."
Why did they make a whiskey out of my personality? My personality sucks
"...boisterous and friendly, but in a way that will be too strong for some people."
Why did they make a whiskey out of my personality? My personality sucks
You know, I never really noticed Ray's tail before. KISS MY TAIL, BITCH
the look on Teodor's face when Ray screams at him is perfect.
His hands!!!
" My stars! "
Teodor doesn't have hands. But then, I only read panels two and five.
MAGIC HAAAANDS
Excellent choice of avatar friend.
Gummy worm zombie, however, is superior.
Purple is a good album. It is a good Stone Temple Pilots album.
A comment left by doc_rostov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, amandulence, TheSoulBear)
That is a turtleneck.
eeee!
There is evidence which suggests Ray does not actually have a tail.
It has been hypothesized that the tail is actually a part of his thong.
Maybe his tail blew off in the explosion and he never had one after that.
Maybe that is not Ray running from that automobile.
That's not evidence, there's no reason to believe that is Ray, especially because Ray has a tail and that character does not.
That's not Ray you wingus