If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Lyle, Pornography, Rent Friday, December 1, 2006 • read strip Viewing 91 comments:

I'll have to remember that move.

The "one second" thing? Shoot, I've been doing it since I was six.

Wait, you've been jerkin' it to some internet porn since you were six?

Okay, maybe not these exact circumstances but the basic idea of actually giving someone one second of your attention. Also, have a chubby for making me laugh in the office.

Phew, that made it easier to ignore my roommates in college. Thanks Lyle!

Did anyone else just assume it's Teodore yelling at him?

I pretty much assumed it was Cornelius.

Other people seem to have mentioned this below, but I would guess it's Onstad himself, as it's generally been established that he's the one letting them live in his house. Also, the disembodied bossy voice "coming from above" is normally Onstad's voice.

Yeah, I always assumed it was Onstad too, since the speech bubble arrow is pointed pretty high. And the concept of Onstad charging them rent is what makes this one for me.

Well, he's only a webcomicker.

and they're only stuffed animals

Oh my god after I read this post I checked the comic to make sure and sure enough, it never actually says it's Teodor. Goddammit why was I so sure it was him?

I thought it was Teodor as well, although there is nothing to signify this. Maybe it is because there is far more Teodor-Lyle interaction than Onstad-Lyle. Yeah, that's probably why.

It's established in one of the hardback books that Lyle, Cornelius, etc. all pay rent to Onstad.

Discussing rent or looking at pornagraphic images? Lyle knows what to do.

I HAVE DONE THIS!

plus you never need to talk about rent. you know he won't pay it till the 10th or something.

I think that is an optimistic assumption.

It never comes up again, it's just as likely that he was gonna pay it but picked up some whiskey when he was out and took a shit on Onstads bed thinking at the time that it counts as a payment.

The alt-text for this is fantastic.
"Lyle absolutely loves pornography."
So true.

I chubbied this even though I had just read the alt text, and it was the same as the alt text you quoted.

Onstad charges stuffed animals rent? What a dick.

well they use his internet and junk

they don't use his junk

Lyle's power grows by wiping himself with tortillas . I'm not sure you can confidently say what Lyle does and doesn't do.

DC

I don't think it is just that Lyle loves pornography. He also probably hates rent.

Onstad's use of adverbs is really hilarious. Check out the following:

"Man, Philippe really fucked up this time. Cornelius completely hates rap."

"Lyle absolutely loves pornography."

"Todd came back from prison completely addicted to horrible drugs."

I can't read one of those without grinning like an idiot, or like a drug mule whose package ruptures mid-flight and is experiencing the joy of a body absorbing lethal amounts of heroin at a stunning rate.

There's nothing better than prefixing a binary verb with an adverb.

Especially when it's not in corporate marketing literature.

A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, farqussus, mediumrare, LRosetw8)

Oh wow, "completely pregnant." I love it.

"completely pregnant" strikes me as a condition that doesn't last very long, like the progress bar of pregnancy slowly filling up over nine months, and then sitting at 100% for nineteen hours of labor before disappearing.

Yeah, I see what you mean. Although I'd say some women are completely pregnant at around 8 months, in that they can no longer walk easily and such.

Your new avatar makes me hate you.

No, seriously. Lose the Ray-glasses, human-face.

Speaking as someone who hates all of the real-face avatars, this still seems a bit over the top...

Point taken, and thanks, I certainly meant it to be over the top.

ANd of course, when I change it again, this will all makes no sense.

Actually I meant Semiquiver's rage was overblown. Yours just looks like every other real-face avatar to me. I guess suits are ridiculous, but we all wear pretty ridiculous things, I guess, except Spinynorman who is our standard of normalcy.

*descends from a cloud of glowing vapors*

Point taken, and thanks, I certainly meant it to be over the top.

*ascends*

Consider me flipping you off.

I just want to step in here and note that this is in fact my real face.

Some sort of burger making contraption?

Man that takes low self esteem to a whole new level.

Ironically, a high level.

Consider my applause to be already in your ears, though it has in fact been mailed to you from an undisclosed location in Korea and will arrive shortly.

I love how it's "that image" and not "those images." Lyle would rather look at a single pornographic photo all day than discuss rent.

Maybe it's just the most incredible pornographic image ever created.

DC

It is a slippery slope from "those images" to "these knives". Remember that.

...Boned?

Boo to that.

and he's just LOOKING at it, he isn't really doing anything about it. he just wants to look.

Really good porn is like that. And there is so little good porn that Lyle must savor that rarest delicacy.

Is best song, played on most beautiful guitar.

by hottest and most talented guitarist.

Who is so nude.

DC

link

Chub for on-point xkcd reference

No such thing.

The alt text is what really makes this strip.

who was it that actually thought this wasnt a five

Hint: Me. It's me.

also me.

Also me.

(I gave it a 2)

He looks no older than 13 with that cap on, which just makes it funnier.

If 13 year olds where you live have gigantic mustaches then you should maybe think about having your water inspected is all I'm saying.

Spoken like a man who hasn't spent much time in Mexico. I've seen nine year olds who looked like brown versions of Tom Selleck. One of them caught me staring and challenged me to a mustache fight.

DC

I agree. at first I thought it was a flashback strip and that lyle was simply born with the moustache in the same way that jack nicholson was born balding and philipe was born 5 years old.

And Teodor was born with armpit hair. According to my pal LB!

And Steve Martin was born with grey hair.

That one is actually true. Have you read Born Standing Up yet?

I have not. And I was just kidding, so...that's weird.

Where is Lyle's left hand? Oh God Where Is IT?!?

In panels 8 and 10.

why don't you ask that man with the white windowless van.

I stumble upon this one in Random Mode more often than is statistically likely.

How odd, I've been using random for quite some time and this is the first time I've come across it.

I hypothesize everyone has a strip they random to more than is statistically likely. For me it's Phileppe's Campaign Platforms .

In fact, when you factor in cognitive biases, it's almost certain that there'll be a strip you'll (think you) come across more than is statistically likely!

Science!

Science-chubby

I like Lyle's look today

here goes nothin':
i don't get the towel part. somebody 'splain it to me please.

It's just the next level of ignoring Onstad and focusing in on the porn. Next step will probably be him turning a cardboard box upside down and dropping it over his head and the monitor.

It seems to me that if someone is keeping a towel by the computer, their reason for doing so may also be a reason that you would not want to put it on your head.

Towels: the impregnable last wall of defense for porn-fiends

is it a surprise that the towel was nearbye?

i must have been smoking this day

Maybe it's because of the parallels (dude living with a bunch of animals), but I always hear Onstad's voice as that of Dave from the original Chipmunks series.

Alvin would definitely be the type to look at a pornography all day.

ALLLLLLLLLVINNNN!!!

Does Onstad make everyone pay rent?

Later: Lyle and Candice finally get some privacy.

Anybody else get a sort of a Chipmunks vibe from strips like this, where Onstad (as I presume the disembodied voice to be) interacts with his characters? The analogy is strongest w/ the non-cat characters: Onstad as Dave, Lyle as Alvin, I guess Cornelius as Simon, and as Theodore, well, how about Teodor?

onstrad, youre arguing with an alive stuffed animal... and letting him WIN. i think its time to re-evaluate, brah.

Hey, you sass that hoopy Lyle? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is.