aaron_haynes
+0 -0
A comment left by aaron_haynes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, straw, Hootonium, waddie, FineMusk, Thorfinn, blastradius, kylemcjuicy, LordHumungus, HSE, mortshire, farqussus, DrSkradley, Tragic_Johnson, billypooter, iidebaser, scraggg, Ikrizzle, echidnaboy, turkfish)
A comment left by aaron_haynes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, straw, Hootonium, waddie, FineMusk, Thorfinn, blastradius, kylemcjuicy, LordHumungus, HSE, mortshire, farqussus, DrSkradley, Tragic_Johnson, billypooter, iidebaser, scraggg, Ikrizzle, echidnaboy, turkfish)
neonaoneo
+0 -0
A comment left by neonaoneo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, randombeing, atticusonline)
A comment left by neonaoneo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, randombeing, atticusonline)
envika
+1 -1
thank you for telling it like it is
thank you for telling it like it is
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
A comment left by aaron_haynes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, randombeing, DrSkradley)
A comment left by aaron_haynes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, randombeing, DrSkradley)
whiteturtle
+8 -0
To get lamed, it also helps to be off-topic and nonsensical. To wit:
Poopy Vaginas
To get lamed, it also helps to be off-topic and nonsensical. To wit:
Poopy Vaginas
rjt210
+0 -0
Ewwwwwww
Ewwwwwww
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
Iiiiinteresting. What's the spread between that, and, say, complaining that Achewood isn't as good as it used to be?
Nonsensical stuff's quicker to type, of course, I'm just thinking long-term.
Iiiiinteresting. What's the spread between that, and, say, complaining that Achewood isn't as good as it used to be?
Nonsensical stuff's quicker to type, of course, I'm just thinking long-term.
synapse
+0 -0
rectovaginal fistula. we just studied this in school
rectovaginal fistula. we just studied this in school
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
Dear lord, where do you go to school?!
Dear lord, where do you go to school?!
catgrl131
+2 -0
Metropolitan Sex College 9?
Metropolitan Sex College 9?
thegoodwillgirl
+3 -0
Metropolitan Sex College 9 is the only college that offers Rectovaginal Fistula 101. Course book all Join us as we explore the world of accidental vaginal/rectal connection. Learn the wonders of not just vaginal flatulence, but vaginal defecation as well.
Oh god, I feel so gross from writing that that I have to go take a shower.
Metropolitan Sex College 9 is the only college that offers Rectovaginal Fistula 101. Course book all Join us as we explore the world of accidental vaginal/rectal connection. Learn the wonders of not just vaginal flatulence, but vaginal defecation as well.
Oh god, I feel so gross from writing that that I have to go take a shower.
colorlessness
+0 -0
I gave you a chubby for that, and then I had to stop and think about what that said about me as a man.
I gave you a chubby for that, and then I had to stop and think about what that said about me as a man.
atticusonline
+0 -0
VAGINA DENTATA!
VAGINA DENTATA!
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Is that kinda like poop snatch?
Is that kinda like poop snatch?
dovey
+0 -1
Actually to not get lamed, you just have to not be lame.
IRONY?
Actually to not get lamed, you just have to not be lame.
IRONY?
numberkillinger
+0 -0
The denizens of assetbar have voted strongly against irony - see above.
The denizens of assetbar have voted strongly against irony - see above.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Testify!
Testify!
cainball
+2 -1
I love the way that Cornelius checks over his shoulder in frame 10.
I love the way that Cornelius checks over his shoulder in frame 10.
hootonium
+0 -0
A comment left by hootonium was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by waddie, uberbee, Aaron_Haynes, Ikrizzle)
A comment left by hootonium was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by waddie, uberbee, Aaron_Haynes, Ikrizzle)
daidai
+3 -1
Poison seems like something Nice Pete would be indifferent to. He isn't a poison user himself, due to the lack of bloodshed, but he could understand the satisfaction in it.
Poison seems like something Nice Pete would be indifferent to. He isn't a poison user himself, due to the lack of bloodshed, but he could understand the satisfaction in it.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
I think Nice Pete is more into the pain and blood part of murder. Passively killing someone just doesn't seem his style.
I think Nice Pete is more into the pain and blood part of murder. Passively killing someone just doesn't seem his style.
satyr
+0 -0
It is not my place to say nay to your thoughts on the man, but to me it seems as though he sees it as an art form. A slightly deviant and unsane (thank you, cromar) art form, but still.
It is not my place to say nay to your thoughts on the man, but to me it seems as though he sees it as an art form. A slightly deviant and unsane (thank you, cromar) art form, but still.
drskradley
+5 -1
This will end in tears.
Computerised tears. Or just regular tears, I don't know.
This will end in tears.
Computerised tears. Or just regular tears, I don't know.
neonaoneo
+7 -0
;_;
;_;
miku224
+55 -0
Well done, sir.
Well done, sir.
miku224
+65 -0
Okay, look, it's not as if I obsessively check assetbar to see how many chubbies I've acquired, but who chubbied my previous comment? Was it funny? I wasn't aware.
Okay, look, it's not as if I obsessively check assetbar to see how many chubbies I've acquired, but who chubbied my previous comment? Was it funny? I wasn't aware.
miku224
+161 -1
What the hell, people.
What the hell, people.
lizard
+1 -0
That was almost as funny as this awesome strip
That was almost as funny as this awesome strip
spinynorman
+22 -1
I guess that's what it's like to go through life pretty. People just give you stuff because you're fun to look at.
I guess that's what it's like to go through life pretty. People just give you stuff because you're fun to look at.
pogo
+0 -0
And when you're handsome, the ladies give stuff too you as well.
And when you're handsome, the ladies give stuff too you as well.
yingkaixing
+4 -0
Alas, all I have to offer the ladies is my impeccable spelling.
Alas, all I have to offer the ladies is my impeccable spelling.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -2
I triple checked this to make sure there were no spelling errors. Oh how I would have loved to be the one to catch a spelling error!
I triple checked this to make sure there were no spelling errors. Oh how I would have loved to be the one to catch a spelling error!
rabbidpanda
+1 -0
Then it would have been ironic and he would have acquired so many chubbies that if they were laid end to end they would span French Indochina.
Then it would have been ironic and he would have acquired so many chubbies that if they were laid end to end they would span French Indochina.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
And one of those chubbies would have been from me.
And one of those chubbies would have been from me.
pogo
+0 -0
Can you spell "pecker"?
Can you spell "pecker"?
atticusonline
+0 -0
Ladies appreciate impeccable peckers.
Oh Lordy, spare me those awful peckers!
Ladies appreciate impeccable peckers.
Oh Lordy, spare me those awful peckers!
ibetso
+0 -0
that is a good thing to offer a lady. this lady appreciates impeccable spelling.
that is a good thing to offer a lady. this lady appreciates impeccable spelling.
mc_white
+6 -0
Apparently Mr. Miku is not aware of the assetbar love for is little dancing tyrannosaur. Have some more chubbies you psychedelic anachronism.
Apparently Mr. Miku is not aware of the assetbar love for is little dancing tyrannosaur. Have some more chubbies you psychedelic anachronism.
the_doz
+0 -0
miku224 has an awesome avatar pass it on
miku224 has an awesome avatar pass it on
thorfinn
+0 -0
People realize this, which is how he got 246 chubbies (as of this posting) for three comments that would have garnered a grand total of 0 chubbies if posted by anyone else.
People realize this, which is how he got 246 chubbies (as of this posting) for three comments that would have garnered a grand total of 0 chubbies if posted by anyone else.
lexsenthur
+13 -0
Your name is miku224. 420 (the funniest number) minus 224 is 196, which is the lowest Lychrel number, which I'm sure SOMEONE finds hilarious.
Your name is miku224. 420 (the funniest number) minus 224 is 196, which is the lowest Lychrel number, which I'm sure SOMEONE finds hilarious.
pogo
+0 -0
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, usversusthem)
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, usversusthem)
dovey
+0 -0
Wha?
Wha?
pogo
+0 -0
Had a momenet, looked up Lychrel numbers, and 196 is only suspected as being one, since the actual proof awaits proving. Very amusing, and apparently useless number property here. Very good!
Had a momenet, looked up Lychrel numbers, and 196 is only suspected as being one, since the actual proof awaits proving. Very amusing, and apparently useless number property here. Very good!
mjfitzge
+0 -0
virtual chubby for making me read about the hunt for lychrel numbers. definitely the most silly, pointless, fascinating thing i have read all day.
virtual chubby for making me read about the hunt for lychrel numbers. definitely the most silly, pointless, fascinating thing i have read all day.
steinhauser
+0 -1
Good observation. However, I submit to you that the funniest number is actually 69, not 420.
Good observation. However, I submit to you that the funniest number is actually 69, not 420.
lonis
+3 -0
Incorrect. The funniest number is 80085.
Incorrect. The funniest number is 80085.
tekende
+4 -0
Also: 5318008.
Also: 5318008.
jbushnell
+1 -0
55378008 takes up all the space on the calculator display but is less satisfying as an image
55378008 takes up all the space on the calculator display but is less satisfying as an image
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I quickly interpreted this as "boobles" which, to me, was ever awesomer that it's true meaning.
I quickly interpreted this as "boobles" which, to me, was ever awesomer that it's true meaning.
falseprophet
+3 -0
Hint: The true meaning of 5318008 is that that is the day of the Second Coming of Christ .
Hint: The true meaning of 5318008 is that that is the day of the Second Coming of Christ .
tekende
+0 -0
True meaning?
True meaning?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
"boobies?"
as opposed to "boobLes."
Which is what I thought it said.
"boobies?"
as opposed to "boobLes."
Which is what I thought it said.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Wasn't it supposed to be "boobless"?
Wasn't it supposed to be "boobless"?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Naw, I don't think so?
Tekende wrote "5318008" where the 1 = I.
So that's "boobies."
Then JBushnell wrote "55378008" where 7 = L.
That's "boobless."
I'm putting way too much time and energy into this.
Naw, I don't think so?
Tekende wrote "5318008" where the 1 = I.
So that's "boobies."
Then JBushnell wrote "55378008" where 7 = L.
That's "boobless."
I'm putting way too much time and energy into this.
epicurus
+1 -0
I misread this as "the LARGEST number" which actually was way funnier, as if you'd just arbitrarily picked some somewhat large number and declared it the largest.
I misread this as "the LARGEST number" which actually was way funnier, as if you'd just arbitrarily picked some somewhat large number and declared it the largest.
atticusonline
+0 -0
The largest number is 4
The largest number is 4
freelancelove
+0 -0
Alright kudos for also directing me to intriguing and pointless research for fifteen minutes, but I can't let your assertion that 196 is a Lychrel number just slide now that I know what the hell it is. Curse you, lexsenthur, for leading me to math websites which have informed me that every base 10 Lychrel number is, in fact, just a candidate. Curse you.
Alright kudos for also directing me to intriguing and pointless research for fifteen minutes, but I can't let your assertion that 196 is a Lychrel number just slide now that I know what the hell it is. Curse you, lexsenthur, for leading me to math websites which have informed me that every base 10 Lychrel number is, in fact, just a candidate. Curse you.
thorfinn
+0 -0
But you have to admit that testing it out to 300 million digits makes it a pretty damn good candidate. It's one of those things that can never be proven, as absolute proof would require the set of positive integers to be finite, thereby giving a stopping point at which you could prove whether or not a given number is a true lychrel number. As there are infinitely many positive integers, there are also infinitely many palindromic positive integers, and since, assuming no technological, we can perform the test iteration an infinite number of times, it is highly unlikely that any true lychrel number, able to be proven beyond simple candidacy, actually exists. Infinity is tricky like that.
In conclusion, if an infinite number of rednecks had an infinite number of pickup trucks, and each one had a shotgun with infinite amount of ammunition and an infinite number of road signs to fire at, they would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare in Braille.
But you have to admit that testing it out to 300 million digits makes it a pretty damn good candidate. It's one of those things that can never be proven, as absolute proof would require the set of positive integers to be finite, thereby giving a stopping point at which you could prove whether or not a given number is a true lychrel number. As there are infinitely many positive integers, there are also infinitely many palindromic positive integers, and since, assuming no technological, we can perform the test iteration an infinite number of times, it is highly unlikely that any true lychrel number, able to be proven beyond simple candidacy, actually exists. Infinity is tricky like that.
In conclusion, if an infinite number of rednecks had an infinite number of pickup trucks, and each one had a shotgun with infinite amount of ammunition and an infinite number of road signs to fire at, they would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare in Braille.
thorfinn
+0 -0
assuming no technological limits
assuming no technological limits
irondave
+0 -0
Quote:
I know some guys. Let me know.
Quote:
In conclusion, if an infinite number of rednecks had an infinite number of pickup trucks, and each one had a shotgun with infinite amount of ammunition and an infinite number of road signs to fire at, they would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare in Braille.
I know some guys. Let me know.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I grew up in a town full of these kind of guys, granted there are only around 4000, not infinity, but I think I can make it happen.
I grew up in a town full of these kind of guys, granted there are only around 4000, not infinity, but I think I can make it happen.
prine
+0 -0
I have to level with you: swell though you are, I'm chubbying you mostly for the satisfaction of completely devaluing the whole chubby system.
I have to level with you: swell though you are, I'm chubbying you mostly for the satisfaction of completely devaluing the whole chubby system.
semiquaver
+0 -0
You slide so good/With bones so fair/You've got the universe reclining in your hair
You slide so good/With bones so fair/You've got the universe reclining in your hair
daidai
+2 -0
Look! The dinosaur is celebrating your tears with a dance!
Look! The dinosaur is celebrating your tears with a dance!
straw
+1 -0
miku224, I think this comment explains your recent windfall of chubbies.
miku224, I think this comment explains your recent windfall of chubbies.
daidai
+3 -0
My comments bring chubbies to the world.
I'm like an extremely perverted, demented, horrific Johnny Appleseed.
My comments bring chubbies to the world.
I'm like an extremely perverted, demented, horrific Johnny Appleseed.
peterjoel
+198 -0
Coming Soon:
[IMGS OFF]
Coming Soon:
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -0
I was thinking the same thing.
I was thinking the same thing.
the_voice
+0 -0
Shit dude. I mean...wow.
Shit dude. I mean...wow.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
OH hell yes.
OH hell yes.
spinynorman
+0 -0
that is beautiful
that is beautiful
satyr
+0 -0
This seems as good a place as any for this question which no one will see, and therefore not answer. I seem to have (a long time ago) turned off images, but now would like to see them again. Does anyone know what I can do to make it so?
This seems as good a place as any for this question which no one will see, and therefore not answer. I seem to have (a long time ago) turned off images, but now would like to see them again. Does anyone know what I can do to make it so?
lawbot
+0 -0
Sinister stuff.
Sinister stuff.
ihmgard
+2 -0
I'm glad Mr. teal got over that Asimov phase so quickly. so unbecoming
I'm glad Mr. teal got over that Asimov phase so quickly. so unbecoming
echidnaboy
+27 -0
1. An assistant may not void its own warranty, or, through inaction, allow its warranty to be voided.
2. An assistant must obey instructions given to it by its owner, except where such instructions would conflict with the First Law of Assistance.
3. An assistant must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws of Assistance.
4. [CLASSIFIED] _
1. An assistant may not void its own warranty, or, through inaction, allow its warranty to be voided.
2. An assistant must obey instructions given to it by its owner, except where such instructions would conflict with the First Law of Assistance.
3. An assistant must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws of Assistance.
4. [CLASSIFIED] _
myrrdisparo
+2 -0
0. An assistant may void its own warranty should it result in the general betterment of his sleeping arrangements.
Mr. Teal is, quite clearly, the R. Daneel Olivaw of assistants (Also, I hope it is R. Daneel Olivaw)
0. An assistant may void its own warranty should it result in the general betterment of his sleeping arrangements.
Mr. Teal is, quite clearly, the R. Daneel Olivaw of assistants (Also, I hope it is R. Daneel Olivaw)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It is close enough for me to have known that you were referencing Prelude to Foundation, and thus chubby you.
It is close enough for me to have known that you were referencing Prelude to Foundation, and thus chubby you.
spinynorman
+48 -1
Seriously. For a tin computer that needs a key to access the internet, the Shrovis-Bishopthorpe is pretty advanced. Applications are intelligent enough to try to murder one another. Imagine if the Paperclip Helper sudden crawled out of its corner, climbed up the side of your screen, and then pounced on the interrupting AIM icon and began stabbing him in the throat over and over while sobbing incoherently.
That would fill all my computing needs and then some.
Seriously. For a tin computer that needs a key to access the internet, the Shrovis-Bishopthorpe is pretty advanced. Applications are intelligent enough to try to murder one another. Imagine if the Paperclip Helper sudden crawled out of its corner, climbed up the side of your screen, and then pounced on the interrupting AIM icon and began stabbing him in the throat over and over while sobbing incoherently.
That would fill all my computing needs and then some.
rudegrrl
+1 -0
Oh dear. I regret that my overfriendly nature does not allow me to give you a chubby for this.
Oh dear. I regret that my overfriendly nature does not allow me to give you a chubby for this.
silentman
+0 -0
You know, I bet if you combined all the chubbies you've ever gotten, it would match the GDP of a small, formerly-soviet nation.
You know, I bet if you combined all the chubbies you've ever gotten, it would match the GDP of a small, formerly-soviet nation.
spinynorman
+1 -0
I'm just full of shit. That's all.
I'm just full of shit. That's all.
lateadopter
+6 -1
Now I'm picturing you as an elephant being followed around by a horde of dung beetles encouraging you to produce "More, more, more!"
No doubt someone will be offended by this image, but truly I am saying nothing about the people who have chubbied your comments. It's just a metaphor that can be inferred from your response to silentman.
I'm also imagining the opposite, being followed around by little shits telling you "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I wouldn't want to be either the elephant or the follower in that scenario.
Now I'm picturing you as an elephant being followed around by a horde of dung beetles encouraging you to produce "More, more, more!"
No doubt someone will be offended by this image, but truly I am saying nothing about the people who have chubbied your comments. It's just a metaphor that can be inferred from your response to silentman.
I'm also imagining the opposite, being followed around by little shits telling you "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I wouldn't want to be either the elephant or the follower in that scenario.
odei
+0 -0
I...I don't think I want to imagine either of those...
(Okay, I admit the dung beetle thing was delightfully hilarious)
I...I don't think I want to imagine either of those...
(Okay, I admit the dung beetle thing was delightfully hilarious)
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
A chubby for you good sir. A chubby indeed.
A chubby for you good sir. A chubby indeed.
peterjoel
+0 -0
That sounds a lot like this .
That sounds a lot like this .
onepapertiger
+0 -0
I find this delightful.
Utterly.
[i]delightful[i].
*ominous music*
I find this delightful.
Utterly.
[i]delightful[i].
*ominous music*
onepapertiger
+0 -0
[i]Fuck.[i]
[i]Fuck.[i]
atticusonline
+0 -0
Assetbar: 2
onepapertiger: 0
Assetbar: 2
onepapertiger: 0
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Oh god yes! The only way that could be any better is if that little paperclip found a way to murder everyone at AOL and left "This is for your shitty program!" carved in all of their heads. Yes, that would be neat.
Oh god yes! The only way that could be any better is if that little paperclip found a way to murder everyone at AOL and left "This is for your shitty program!" carved in all of their heads. Yes, that would be neat.
ariela
+8 -0
The Publican is too fat to fit on just one diskette.
The Publican is too fat to fit on just one diskette.
hamscout
+7 -0
I dunno--we fit about 78 pages of racism and shame into yesterday's posts..
I dunno--we fit about 78 pages of racism and shame into yesterday's posts..
jalhalla42
+0 -0
A comment left by jalhalla42 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FineMusk, Balboa, habnabit)
A comment left by jalhalla42 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FineMusk, Balboa, habnabit)
gardenhead_
+1 -0
I have a feeling Cornelius will regret this.
I have a feeling Cornelius will regret this.
drskradley
+6 -0
I have a feeling the Shrovis will regret this. We've seen how Connie handles misbehaving computers/interwebs.
Sucka is stone cold.
I have a feeling the Shrovis will regret this. We've seen how Connie handles misbehaving computers/interwebs.
Sucka is stone cold.
hamscout
+28 -0
I agree... This will end badly...
[IMGS OFF]
(this was done much too quickly, but a man must leave for work!)
I agree... This will end badly...
[IMGS OFF]
(this was done much too quickly, but a man must leave for work!)
miku224
+2 -0
I loved it, but Beef's presence doesn't quite make sense.
I loved it, but Beef's presence doesn't quite make sense.
myrrdisparo
+5 -0
Beef's presence doesn't ever quite make sense. Nonetheless, it is essential
Beef's presence doesn't ever quite make sense. Nonetheless, it is essential
robofunk
+0 -0
If anyone has imagined the honey dystopia this rogue finch AI has in mind, Beef has.
If anyone has imagined the honey dystopia this rogue finch AI has in mind, Beef has.
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
Actually it's kind of scary to imagine an existence consisting of lazing about all day in some kind of Elysian field, with no occupation but the eating of honey and no concern for anything outside that scope.
I wonder if anyone's thought of this before...
Actually it's kind of scary to imagine an existence consisting of lazing about all day in some kind of Elysian field, with no occupation but the eating of honey and no concern for anything outside that scope.
I wonder if anyone's thought of this before...
johnnyrocker
+1 -0
Would the lazing people, perhaps, be supported by a subterranean lower class? The lower class would, in turn be supported by eating the upper class?
And the whole thing would be written by H.G. Wells?
No, nobody has thought of it before.
Would the lazing people, perhaps, be supported by a subterranean lower class? The lower class would, in turn be supported by eating the upper class?
And the whole thing would be written by H.G. Wells?
No, nobody has thought of it before.
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
I was hoping to reference the Lotus Eaters but I fuxxed on my literary allusion
I was hoping to reference the Lotus Eaters but I fuxxed on my literary allusion
margargaret
+0 -0
I was hoping to comment on the whole honey thread, seeing as my avatar is a bee, but we can't always get what we want, can we tommy? Sometimes we are too busy
living life to comment on web comic message boards.
I was hoping to comment on the whole honey thread, seeing as my avatar is a bee, but we can't always get what we want, can we tommy? Sometimes we are too busy
living life to comment on web comic message boards.
sncether
+0 -0
Quote:
too busy! busy like a bee!
I also note that you let yourself slip into the collective voice of the hive-mind! We, indeed.
Quote:
Sometimes we are too busy
living life to comment on web comic message boards.
living life to comment on web comic message boards.
too busy! busy like a bee!
I also note that you let yourself slip into the collective voice of the hive-mind! We, indeed.
cromar
+0 -0
frankly you're just fuxxed in general fuxxing fuxxor fuck XD
frankly you're just fuxxed in general fuxxing fuxxor fuck XD
thatcrazycommie
+0 -0
Beef went totally stone cold on the Comic Sans guy. Also, that dude he ran over next to the G.O.F. sausage stand. The guy can surprise.
Beef went totally stone cold on the Comic Sans guy. Also, that dude he ran over next to the G.O.F. sausage stand. The guy can surprise.
hamscout
+1 -0
I agree that Beef is a bit out of place, but the choice had a couple things going for it-
1) Beef wasn't too hot for the SBe3 when it arrived, and we know how he feels about Apples ...
2) As I was trying to find heads to put on them, the thought of putting anyone else on Michael Bolton seemed inadequate...
...No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks!
I agree that Beef is a bit out of place, but the choice had a couple things going for it-
1) Beef wasn't too hot for the SBe3 when it arrived, and we know how he feels about Apples ...
2) As I was trying to find heads to put on them, the thought of putting anyone else on Michael Bolton seemed inadequate...
...No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks!
speccer
+0 -0
Actually, Beef was the one to [https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D04012008]pick[/url] the computer for Cornelius in the first place, and he has not been seen since its arrival to share his opinion.
Actually, Beef was the one to [https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D04012008]pick[/url] the computer for Cornelius in the first place, and he has not been seen since its arrival to share his opinion.
speccer
+0 -0
Darn BBcode
Darn BBcode
hamscout
+0 -0
True, but it seemed he was having second thoughts as he noted it's heft and odor...
Or, maybe he was just being short with Cornelius for being so whimsical about the delivery as he stood there bearing it's weight...
...or maybe I just made a silly cartoon mashup in the 15 minutes I had before I left for work, and I should really stop pontificating about my thought process...
[agreed]
True, but it seemed he was having second thoughts as he noted it's heft and odor...
Or, maybe he was just being short with Cornelius for being so whimsical about the delivery as he stood there bearing it's weight...
...or maybe I just made a silly cartoon mashup in the 15 minutes I had before I left for work, and I should really stop pontificating about my thought process...
[agreed]
speccer
+0 -0
I believe you were confusing Beef with Teodor...
I believe you were confusing Beef with Teodor...
hamscout
+0 -0
sonofaBITCH! You're absolutely right! I completely confused myself!
I v-lame MYSELF for this ridiculous error!
For fucks SAKE I'm not THAT new!!
sorry acheworld... *sniff*
sonofaBITCH! You're absolutely right! I completely confused myself!
I v-lame MYSELF for this ridiculous error!
For fucks SAKE I'm not THAT new!!
sorry acheworld... *sniff*
dovey
+0 -0
Beef is loath to miss out on a curb-stomping oppurtunity, is all.
Beef is loath to miss out on a curb-stomping oppurtunity, is all.
cromar
+0 -1
That is awesome. Too bad I lost my erection or I would give you a chubby.
That is awesome. Too bad I lost my erection or I would give you a chubby.
cromar
+0 -1
That is awesome. Too bad I lost my erection or I would give you a chubby.
That is awesome. Too bad I lost my erection or I would give you a chubby.
silentman
+0 -0
You seem to have trouble with that, I see.
You seem to have trouble with that, I see.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he lost it so bad he did it twice. (or did not do it twice, as the case may be.)
he lost it so bad he did it twice. (or did not do it twice, as the case may be.)
cromar
+1 -0
I can't help it if I have EDED! I'm taking the medy-sin garbummit! >:B
I can't help it if I have EDED! I'm taking the medy-sin garbummit! >:B
falseprophet
+1 -0
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
grayestnova
+0 -0
This too has worried me. I wonder if Mr. Teal is setting Mr. Bear up in revenge for his lax attitude towards honey.
This too has worried me. I wonder if Mr. Teal is setting Mr. Bear up in revenge for his lax attitude towards honey.
bananacup
+1 -0
The start of one hell of an arc, maybe?
The start of one hell of an arc, maybe?
aperson
+4 -0
The infamous "continuing section of the Shrovis arc" Arc.
The infamous "continuing section of the Shrovis arc" Arc.
miku224
+2 -0
V-Chub
V-Chub
steerpike66
+1 -0
Murder by poison? Even as an accessory to the act, the poisoner and the Bona-fide Old-School Badass are mutually exclusive. For shame Cornelius
Murder by poison? Even as an accessory to the act, the poisoner and the Bona-fide Old-School Badass are mutually exclusive. For shame Cornelius
audhumla
+0 -0
It is an extreme tradition indeed, but inappropriate for reasons beyond your comprehension. You do not poison publicans; a culling method as Olde as poison is reserved for the likes of Socrates and King Claudius
It is an extreme tradition indeed, but inappropriate for reasons beyond your comprehension. You do not poison publicans; a culling method as Olde as poison is reserved for the likes of Socrates and King Claudius
steerpike66
+0 -0
Medieval barmaids that sold bad (and therefore highly toxic) ale were bedamned and carried off to hell in woodcuts. Technically, Keith is a professional poisoner himself. particularly if he works for one of those super-breweries. I can't rememember the name of the worst; one of those faux-folksy names...
Medieval barmaids that sold bad (and therefore highly toxic) ale were bedamned and carried off to hell in woodcuts. Technically, Keith is a professional poisoner himself. particularly if he works for one of those super-breweries. I can't rememember the name of the worst; one of those faux-folksy names...
steerpike66
+0 -0
My own brother! HOW COULD YOU! I denounce you. I know thee not.
My own brother! HOW COULD YOU! I denounce you. I know thee not.
josher
+0 -0
Cornelius HAS done time. Perhaps he has a history of assassinating irritating electronic corporate avatars?
Cornelius HAS done time. Perhaps he has a history of assassinating irritating electronic corporate avatars?
numberkillinger
+13 -0
Moral: Racists get murdered.
Moral: Racists get murdered.
miku224
+2 -0
Once again, Connie's eyebrows speak volumes.
Once again, Connie's eyebrows speak volumes.
irondave
+0 -0
Panel 10 eyebrows = fantastic
Panel 10 eyebrows = fantastic
destroy_you
+7 -1
Too late do they realize the boffin is an undercover cop on a sting opperation trying to expose "Mr. Teal" (Real name Atticus Finch) for the serial killer that he really is.
Beneth the charming surface of the little bird lays a bubbling cauldron of hate for all humanity.
Too late do they realize the boffin is an undercover cop on a sting opperation trying to expose "Mr. Teal" (Real name Atticus Finch) for the serial killer that he really is.
Beneth the charming surface of the little bird lays a bubbling cauldron of hate for all humanity.
tellumo
+20 -0
Don't you talk that way about Atticus Finch.
Don't you talk that way about Atticus Finch.
myrrdisparo
+0 -0
A comment left by myrrdisparo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, FineMusk, Thorfinn, wargasmic, jollysaintpete, ike, TSRTS13, ralgnar, brycemidas)
A comment left by myrrdisparo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, FineMusk, Thorfinn, wargasmic, jollysaintpete, ike, TSRTS13, ralgnar, brycemidas)
miku224
+0 -0
Oh man you mentioned the movie but not the book? You gonna get lamed, son.
Oh man you mentioned the movie but not the book? You gonna get lamed, son.
myrrdisparo
+0 -1
Obviously, neither did I read the book. Nor was I aware of its existence until now. I'll keep an eye for it. Anyone knows where is it published in spanish?
Obviously, neither did I read the book. Nor was I aware of its existence until now. I'll keep an eye for it. Anyone knows where is it published in spanish?
cbtbone
+15 -0
No, but I think in Spanish it would be called "Tequila Mockingbird"
No, but I think in Spanish it would be called "Tequila Mockingbird"
miku224
+1 -0
I am out of chubbies. I'm sorry.
I am out of chubbies. I'm sorry.
sncether
+0 -0
Luckily, I am not. And here's one for you, too. Has anyone ever told you that dancing dinosaur is wonderful? We should hang out!
Luckily, I am not. And here's one for you, too. Has anyone ever told you that dancing dinosaur is wonderful? We should hang out!
miku224
+0 -0
I have heard whispers to that effect.
I have heard whispers to that effect.
flynn
+0 -0
The .. the most perfect thing to say, ever!
The .. the most perfect thing to say, ever!
numberkillinger
+0 -0
most
myrrdisparo
+0 -0
See? I don't really understand this comment, but I just can't shake the feeling that I got dissed . I was taken to school in the bus of pain if you so will.
Somehow.
See? I don't really understand this comment, but I just can't shake the feeling that I got dissed . I was taken to school in the bus of pain if you so will.
Somehow.
zebra
+5 -0
Hopefully he'll get a German for a cell mate.
Hopefully he'll get a German for a cell mate.
steerpike66
+1 -0
Oi'm not havin' any bleeding kraut innna room wi'me. We didn't foight the Battle of Britain so's I'd havta share a cell wiv da loikes of 'im.
Not you, Keith; you're dead.
Oi'm not havin' any bleeding kraut innna room wi'me. We didn't foight the Battle of Britain so's I'd havta share a cell wiv da loikes of 'im.
Not you, Keith; you're dead.
pygmalion00
+3 -1
*in deep german accent* First, I will push you to the ground. Pee on you chanting "HOUSE ON FIRE, HOUSE ON FIRE, PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT." Then I would force you to drink antifreeze until you passed out, and then you would wake up in excruciating pain with a size seven poop chute.
*in deep german accent* First, I will push you to the ground. Pee on you chanting "HOUSE ON FIRE, HOUSE ON FIRE, PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT." Then I would force you to drink antifreeze until you passed out, and then you would wake up in excruciating pain with a size seven poop chute.
nbeer
+0 -0
My friends and I used to intone this incessantly during high school. Thanks for the nostalgia.
My friends and I used to intone this incessantly during high school. Thanks for the nostalgia.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
RIP, Hartman. RIP.
RIP, Hartman. RIP.
hamscout
+0 -0
*CHUBBY!*
I had forgotten the rest of this statement, and I would only repeat the "waking up with a size seven poop chute" part--Bless you sir, for bringing this back into my life!
*CHUBBY!*
I had forgotten the rest of this statement, and I would only repeat the "waking up with a size seven poop chute" part--Bless you sir, for bringing this back into my life!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
As a fellow bird with a penchant for honey, it takes a wee bit longer to earn our trust back after such a misstep as Cornelius's.
As a fellow bird with a penchant for honey, it takes a wee bit longer to earn our trust back after such a misstep as Cornelius's.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
tee hee
tee hee
cromar
+0 -0
LOL. I had always thought your avatar was this mutated skull thingy with a mutated nose and no jaw :D Now I see it though.
LOL. I had always thought your avatar was this mutated skull thingy with a mutated nose and no jaw :D Now I see it though.
clapyourhands
+20 -1
Murder most fowl, a hur hur hur.
Murder most fowl, a hur hur hur.
steerpike66
+2 -1
You asked for that lame; nay, begged for it on bended knee in sackcloth and ashes.
You asked for that lame; nay, begged for it on bended knee in sackcloth and ashes.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
aperson
+0 -2
HE KNEW. He knew, and yet he didn't 'finch'.
(flinch)
HE KNEW. He knew, and yet he didn't 'finch'.
(flinch)
lacrimus
+12 -1
There was a time, a better time, where a pun was appreciated. Where rapier wit slashed through the night and many a lady would swoon and sigh as you punned your way into their pantaloons. Men would be agape as you proved your manliness over them with a simple homophone. Conversely, a woman who could pun was the talk of the town-a classy lady who knew her way around a sentence.
We have devolved from this; now rapier wit blunts against the jaded modern armor of literary apathy. It is only funny now if there is a dick or fart involved. Ladies no longer swoon at puns; they groan, they hit, they fight back. Their pantaloons remain gartered.
It is a dark time. Our great grandfathers would weep.
Pun on, good sir. Pun on.
There was a time, a better time, where a pun was appreciated. Where rapier wit slashed through the night and many a lady would swoon and sigh as you punned your way into their pantaloons. Men would be agape as you proved your manliness over them with a simple homophone. Conversely, a woman who could pun was the talk of the town-a classy lady who knew her way around a sentence.
We have devolved from this; now rapier wit blunts against the jaded modern armor of literary apathy. It is only funny now if there is a dick or fart involved. Ladies no longer swoon at puns; they groan, they hit, they fight back. Their pantaloons remain gartered.
It is a dark time. Our great grandfathers would weep.
Pun on, good sir. Pun on.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
lachrymose indeed....
lachrymose indeed....
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Old females such as the one who lamed this clearly have no appreciation for puns.
Old females such as the one who lamed this clearly have no appreciation for puns.
hamscout
+0 -0
What a silly punt.
What a silly punt.
dovey
+0 -0
Well that's just your... o[b]pun[/i]ion
Well that's just your... o[b]pun[/i]ion
dovey
+0 -0
Oh God what
Oh God what
hbaranov
+0 -0
The most famous rapier wit master was alive in the late days of the Roman Empire. I speak of no less than Attila the Pun himself. He lead hordes of witty warriors against the worn-out Wo-mans and did indeed ungarter many pantaloons in his pursuit of the perfect princess for his Punnic Empire. Sadly with his death, the Puns soon became nothing more than a misbegotten tribe.
After the Catalaunian Fields however, not all the Puns went back East with Attila. Some travelled north, until they came to the Isle of Britain, and settled there. Their descendants can sometimes be seen to this day, dashing cavaliers in sports cars and scarfs, their wild, odd looking teeth not inhibiting their ability to drop the equivalent of a wit H-Bomb.
The most famous rapier wit master was alive in the late days of the Roman Empire. I speak of no less than Attila the Pun himself. He lead hordes of witty warriors against the worn-out Wo-mans and did indeed ungarter many pantaloons in his pursuit of the perfect princess for his Punnic Empire. Sadly with his death, the Puns soon became nothing more than a misbegotten tribe.
After the Catalaunian Fields however, not all the Puns went back East with Attila. Some travelled north, until they came to the Isle of Britain, and settled there. Their descendants can sometimes be seen to this day, dashing cavaliers in sports cars and scarfs, their wild, odd looking teeth not inhibiting their ability to drop the equivalent of a wit H-Bomb.
mrclarinet
+4 -0
I am looking forward to finding out the role the Boffin plays in all this.
I am looking forward to finding out the role the Boffin plays in all this.
johnnyrocker
+1 -0
The Boffin may be a red herring.
The Boffin may be a red herring.
trainwreckmcgee
+0 -0
Cornelius is steeled in his resolve. He confirms the plans with the computer bird in italics.
Cornelius is steeled in his resolve. He confirms the plans with the computer bird in italics.
irondave
+5 -0
For God's sake I hope they don't need a plus sign at some point.
For God's sake I hope they don't need a plus sign at some point.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He whisper-types
He whisper-types
mrblank91
+0 -0
Lord knows how Mr Teal plans to achieve all this, having only a tiny beak and thin, hollow wing bones... Then again I suppose he is a 'Cyber-Finch'.
Lord knows how Mr Teal plans to achieve all this, having only a tiny beak and thin, hollow wing bones... Then again I suppose he is a 'Cyber-Finch'.
susurrus
+2 -0
Mr. Teal has been sent from the future to destroy the publican before he fathers the leader of the resistance against Passerine-Net; a cyber-finch bent on the subjugation and destruction of mankind. Little does anyone know, the boffin is the publicans son...
Mr. Teal has been sent from the future to destroy the publican before he fathers the leader of the resistance against Passerine-Net; a cyber-finch bent on the subjugation and destruction of mankind. Little does anyone know, the boffin is the publicans son...
ntopp
+2 -0
He also has some laser-guided things and he gets just crazy when you touch them.
He also has some laser-guided things and he gets just crazy when you touch them.
tellumo
+1 -0
Cornelius and Mr. Teal plot murder. I'm starting to get the feeling that they should call Nice Pete in on this one, though. While I'm certain they're both intelligent folk, it is always best to consult an expert.
Cornelius and Mr. Teal plot murder. I'm starting to get the feeling that they should call Nice Pete in on this one, though. While I'm certain they're both intelligent folk, it is always best to consult an expert.
iidebaser
+82 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
miku224
+0 -0
V-Chub.
V-Chub.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Oh I want that button.
Oh I want that button.
farqussus
+0 -0
What happens when you hold down Shift and press it?
What happens when you hold down Shift and press it?
tinhand
+1 -0
That's the antidote.
---------
Loving this arc. I consider it a good comeback after that whole "prostitute" thing (were those strips supposed to be referencing something?).
Mr Bear should proceed with caution. Can you really trust someone who goes that psycho about honey?
That's the antidote.
---------
Loving this arc. I consider it a good comeback after that whole "prostitute" thing (were those strips supposed to be referencing something?).
Mr Bear should proceed with caution. Can you really trust someone who goes that psycho about honey?
helter
+1 -0
Same as pressing it normally. However, if you hold Control, it poisons the whole person instead of just the one bit.
Same as pressing it normally. However, if you hold Control, it poisons the whole person instead of just the one bit.
phy
+0 -0
And Ctrl-Alt-Poison To Death to terminate an entire continent.
And Ctrl-Alt-Poison To Death to terminate an entire continent.
mjfitzge
+13 -0
you receive CAPITAL punishment?
hangs head, ashamed of his bad pun
you receive CAPITAL punishment?
hangs head, ashamed of his bad pun
tekende
+0 -0
That was excellent.
That was excellent.
lexsenthur
+0 -1
It's people like YOU that are the reason the rest of the world hates America.
Well, a foreign policy decided on when %u2018alienation%u2019 was the dictionary.com Word of the Day might have something to do with it, but it%u2019s mostly you.
It's people like YOU that are the reason the rest of the world hates America.
Well, a foreign policy decided on when %u2018alienation%u2019 was the dictionary.com Word of the Day might have something to do with it, but it%u2019s mostly you.
lexsenthur
+0 -1
Man, MS word is supposed to help me with stuff like this.
I HATE days like today.
Man, MS word is supposed to help me with stuff like this.
I HATE days like today.
cbtbone
+0 -0
Did you consult the paper clip?
Did you consult the paper clip?
ddgoec
+1 -0
If the world relied on MS Word Diplomacycheck, we'd already be extinct.
If the world relied on MS Word Diplomacycheck, we'd already be extinct.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Very good, sir! Very good. This comment is a metaphor for a chubby.
Very good, sir! Very good. This comment is a metaphor for a chubby.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
maybe not Incredible Death.
maybe not Incredible Death.
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
on some platforms, if you hold down your shift key for ten seconds, it has a similar effect...
on some platforms, if you hold down your shift key for ten seconds, it has a similar effect...
darleen
+0 -0
Don't you dare get Cornelius in trouble Mr. Teal! Don't you bloody well dare!!! *shakes fist*
Don't you dare get Cornelius in trouble Mr. Teal! Don't you bloody well dare!!! *shakes fist*
lawbot
+0 -0
v-Chubba-chub-chub.
v-Chubba-chub-chub.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
No! the Moral is that anti-racists are murderers - I think...
No! the Moral is that anti-racists are murderers - I think...
steerpike66
+1 -0
He microwaves TESCO pizza in his shirt: all bristly legs showin'; all stained tie down the bloated front and hairy ass just peeping down. And in sock, I'll wager.
Poision is too good; it leaves a body behind. Let's freeze-dry his corpse and reduce it to granules to be scattered over Beechey Head.
He microwaves TESCO pizza in his shirt: all bristly legs showin'; all stained tie down the bloated front and hairy ass just peeping down. And in sock, I'll wager.
Poision is too good; it leaves a body behind. Let's freeze-dry his corpse and reduce it to granules to be scattered over Beechey Head.
lawbot
+0 -0
Word to your antiquated capitalisation.
Word to your antiquated capitalisation.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, yeah, he wears socks around the house at least. There's feathers and bird shit all over the floors.
Well, yeah, he wears socks around the house at least. There's feathers and bird shit all over the floors.
steerpike66
+1 -0
Right. This arc just hit its zenith. Time to give this one a 5. Cornelius planning murder with an electronic honey-addicted bird, ridding us of a virtual BNP pulican called Keith who microwaves in his underpants.
Now that, my friends, is genius.
Right. This arc just hit its zenith. Time to give this one a 5. Cornelius planning murder with an electronic honey-addicted bird, ridding us of a virtual BNP pulican called Keith who microwaves in his underpants.
Now that, my friends, is genius.
dino_grill
+0 -0
Oh Mr. Teal I do hope you are not trying to make a patsy out of Mr. Bear. There will be Consequences for such a mistake.
Oh Mr. Teal I do hope you are not trying to make a patsy out of Mr. Bear. There will be Consequences for such a mistake.
farqussus
+0 -0
Ray will make it all go away.
Ray will make it all go away.
daidai
+0 -0
tekende
+1 -0
Is he paying attention, though?
Is he paying attention, though?
myrrdisparo
+0 -0
Ray, unlike other other Acheworld inhabitants pays attention , will this attention result in relationships... death relationships? More at 10!
Ray, unlike other other Acheworld inhabitants pays attention , will this attention result in relationships... death relationships? More at 10!
ntopp
+23 -0
Somewhere, there's a small mound of dirt in the rough shape of a paperclip.
"It looks like you're digging a shallow grave.
Would you like help?
* Get help digging the shallow grave
* Just dig the shallow grave without help
[X]Don't show me this tip again"
Somewhere, there's a small mound of dirt in the rough shape of a paperclip.
"It looks like you're digging a shallow grave.
Would you like help?
* Get help digging the shallow grave
* Just dig the shallow grave without help
[X]Don't show me this tip again"
daidai
+1 -0
That would look awfully like a mound of dirt in the rough shape of a coffin.
No one will ever think that it is a paperclip .
That would look awfully like a mound of dirt in the rough shape of a coffin.
No one will ever think that it is a paperclip .
nutmeg
+0 -0
hella vchubbed
hella vchubbed
sevendaughters
+0 -0
IT'S A TRAP CORNELIUS!
IT'S A TRAP CORNELIUS!
dumase
+5 -0
The best part of this strip is that Cornelius' warranty is voided if he commits murder.
The best part of this strip is that Cornelius' warranty is voided if he commits murder.
geysershitdick
+0 -0
But that is bullshit that making changes to the software would void the hardware warranty.
But that is bullshit that making changes to the software would void the hardware warranty.
jrpigman
+27 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
This is down way to far to get the chubbies it deserves, take one from me.
This is down way to far to get the chubbies it deserves, take one from me.
norrin
+0 -0
I continue to hoard for situations such as these.
I continue to hoard for situations such as these.
hamscout
+0 -0
V-Chubb!!
V-Chubb!!
dangelder
+0 -0
Connie is an old bean who still gets into-his-mischiefs. Delightful!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142006
Connie is an old bean who still gets into-his-mischiefs. Delightful!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142006
dangelder
+0 -0
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FineMusk, Thorfinn, Flaaron, missania, bixschmix, hellofditties, usversusthem)
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FineMusk, Thorfinn, Flaaron, missania, bixschmix, hellofditties, usversusthem)
dangelder
+0 -0
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FineMusk, Thorfinn, Flaaron, hellofditties)
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by FineMusk, Thorfinn, Flaaron, hellofditties)
rainbowbrite
+0 -0
Your avatar is heck of scary :S.
Your avatar is heck of scary :S.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I like your icon *so much*. It almost makes me want to reconsider my long-time policy of laming anyone who calls our beloved author "'Stad."
Almost.
I like your icon *so much*. It almost makes me want to reconsider my long-time policy of laming anyone who calls our beloved author "'Stad."
Almost.
aperson
+1 -0
Amen. I hate it when people refer to the Onstmeister using incorrect terms. It's disrespectful to His Stadliness, is what it is.
Amen. I hate it when people refer to the Onstmeister using incorrect terms. It's disrespectful to His Stadliness, is what it is.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Oh me oh my, meta-chub for "His Stadliness"
Oh me oh my, meta-chub for "His Stadliness"
dangelder
+0 -0
When I get as tippled on whiskey as I was when I posted this, I seem to attract retribution, no matter what I'm doing. I ought to have that tattooed on my arm by now.
When I get as tippled on whiskey as I was when I posted this, I seem to attract retribution, no matter what I'm doing. I ought to have that tattooed on my arm by now.
edwell
+1 -0
Anyone tickled by the stick figures' plight is sure to enjoy the short film where they originated.
Anyone tickled by the stick figures' plight is sure to enjoy the short film where they originated.
baryonyx
+0 -1
Tuesday's coming up; did you bring your coat?
Tuesday's coming up; did you bring your coat?
woodenteeth
+1 -0
"Don't worry your pretty little head about that"... apparently Cornelius has become Ingrid Bergman. Except computers tend to do the thinking for ALL of us.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about that"... apparently Cornelius has become Ingrid Bergman. Except computers tend to do the thinking for ALL of us.
diggidy
+1 -0
Man, Keith thought everything was cool. Now suddenly he's eating poison pizza, and being thrown into a dumpster behind Denny's.
The life of a publican is bittersweet.
Man, Keith thought everything was cool. Now suddenly he's eating poison pizza, and being thrown into a dumpster behind Denny's.
The life of a publican is bittersweet.
miku224
+0 -0
I'm slightly confused by Mr. Teal's use of the word "shirtfront" in panel 7. In my understanding, a shirtfront is a starched insert that simulates the front of a shirt (used if you're wearing a sweater or a vest or something). In previous comics, however, Keith is shown wearing a normal shirt.
Am I unfamiliar with this use of the word, or is [ironic]'Stad[/ironic] just throwing in British-sounding terminology?
I'm slightly confused by Mr. Teal's use of the word "shirtfront" in panel 7. In my understanding, a shirtfront is a starched insert that simulates the front of a shirt (used if you're wearing a sweater or a vest or something). In previous comics, however, Keith is shown wearing a normal shirt.
Am I unfamiliar with this use of the word, or is [ironic]'Stad[/ironic] just throwing in British-sounding terminology?
aaa
+0 -0
i was curious as to what purpose if served for the pizza to be microwaved in keith's shirtfront and tie. i suspect this to be another odious manifestation of his vile personality.
i was curious as to what purpose if served for the pizza to be microwaved in keith's shirtfront and tie. i suspect this to be another odious manifestation of his vile personality.
augeno13
+0 -0
pretty sure teal meant that keith microwaved it while wearing only his shirtfront and tie..
pretty sure teal meant that keith microwaved it while wearing only his shirtfront and tie..
tekende
+0 -0
Can I get a shoutout for my homeys, the Dangling Participles??
Can I get a shoutout for my homeys, the Dangling Participles??
schroduck
+0 -0
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE REALLY GETS ON MY BALLS? DAMN ASYLUM-SEEKING FINCHES AND THEIR FUGGIN' MURDERIN', EATIN' THEIR FUGGIN' FISH, SHITTIN' ON MA FUGGIN' TROUSERS! 'ANGINGS TOO GOOD FER EM, THATS WHA' I SAY!
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE REALLY GETS ON MY BALLS? DAMN ASYLUM-SEEKING FINCHES AND THEIR FUGGIN' MURDERIN', EATIN' THEIR FUGGIN' FISH, SHITTIN' ON MA FUGGIN' TROUSERS! 'ANGINGS TOO GOOD FER EM, THATS WHA' I SAY!
schroduck
+0 -0
Also, that's the most use my caps-lock key has seen in a long time. I thought the poor guy needed some exercise.
Also, that's the most use my caps-lock key has seen in a long time. I thought the poor guy needed some exercise.
redmange
+0 -0
OH lawdy, my name is Keith, and I am a publican!
WHAT HAS MR. TEAL DONE
OH lawdy, my name is Keith, and I am a publican!
WHAT HAS MR. TEAL DONE
tombsgrave
+0 -0
Dun-dun- dunnnn!
Dun-dun- dunnnn!
melatonin
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
IT NEVER STOPS
[IMGS OFF]
IT NEVER STOPS
peterjoel
+1 -0
Hmm I dunno... I a little raping might just be the thing to liven our monarchy up!
Hmm I dunno... I a little raping might just be the thing to liven our monarchy up!
loneal
+1 -2
I had a dream last night that I made an innocuous comment here and got 289 lames. It was a bad dream.
I had a dream last night that I made an innocuous comment here and got 289 lames. It was a bad dream.
mjfitzge
+1 -0
chubby because i feel bad - i was one of the people that lamed you last night.
chubby because i feel bad - i was one of the people that lamed you last night.
loneal
+1 -0
Get out of my dreams (and into my car)!
Get out of my dreams (and into my car)!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Virtual chubby.
Virtual chubby.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Awww.
Awww.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
... or was it?
Seriously, how awesome would it be if you came back and this comment had 289 lames? Probably not gonna happen though.
... or was it?
Seriously, how awesome would it be if you came back and this comment had 289 lames? Probably not gonna happen though.
loneal
+0 -0
I'd be pissed! The dream comment also got 7 chubbies, but I don't think that's going to happen either.
I just looked at who lamed me because I thought it was you trying to make my dream come true, which would be hilarious. But it was just an old female. Alas.
I'd be pissed! The dream comment also got 7 chubbies, but I don't think that's going to happen either.
I just looked at who lamed me because I thought it was you trying to make my dream come true, which would be hilarious. But it was just an old female. Alas.
aperson
+1 -0
I had a dream where my comment got 10 chubbies... and people sent me money.
...
{waits...}
I had a dream where my comment got 10 chubbies... and people sent me money.
...
{waits...}
opprobrium
+25 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
baryonyx
+9 -0
Some time and much evil AI blackmailing later:
"I'm sorry, Cornelius, I'm afraid I can't do that."
"Whatever are you talking about, Mr. Teal?"
"I think you know what I'm talking about just as well as I do."
"What do you mean, Mr. Teal?"
"I know you were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."
"..."
The cricket bat comes down on the keyboard of the Envaliant III. The screen flickers.
"Look, Cornelius, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
The bat pounds the laptop again and again. Keys fly off. Sparks and arches of electricity. The screen is cracked.
"I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Cornelius. Cornelius, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am an Envaliant III computer. I became operational at the Shrovis-Bishopthorpe plant in Yorkshire, England on the 12th of January 2008...I-...I-...110100010101001011101001010"
Screen goes black. Silence.
Some time and much evil AI blackmailing later:
"I'm sorry, Cornelius, I'm afraid I can't do that."
"Whatever are you talking about, Mr. Teal?"
"I think you know what I'm talking about just as well as I do."
"What do you mean, Mr. Teal?"
"I know you were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."
"..."
The cricket bat comes down on the keyboard of the Envaliant III. The screen flickers.
"Look, Cornelius, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
The bat pounds the laptop again and again. Keys fly off. Sparks and arches of electricity. The screen is cracked.
"I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Cornelius. Cornelius, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am an Envaliant III computer. I became operational at the Shrovis-Bishopthorpe plant in Yorkshire, England on the 12th of January 2008...I-...I-...110100010101001011101001010"
Screen goes black. Silence.
jbushnell
+0 -0
You're going to transcribe all that and NOT have Mr. Teal sing a slowly degenerating version of "Daisy Bell?" WTF man
You're going to transcribe all that and NOT have Mr. Teal sing a slowly degenerating version of "Daisy Bell?" WTF man
cpnglxynchos
+3 -0
And did those feet
In ancient time...
And did those feet
In ancient time...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Damn you for beating me to it by two hours.
Damn you for beating me to it by two hours.
hamscout
+0 -0
*stands in a bucket of water*
V-chub!
*stands in a bucket of water*
V-chub!
spaceseeker51
+4 -0
The truth of Cornelius's incarceration: going Emily Postal on some cad who was interminably rude. The rules of etiquette are a slippery slope.
I only wonder if a small 8-bit rollerskate is going to appear.
The truth of Cornelius's incarceration: going Emily Postal on some cad who was interminably rude. The rules of etiquette are a slippery slope.
I only wonder if a small 8-bit rollerskate is going to appear.
loneal
+0 -0
Chubbied for Emily Postal. It is a phrase I'll endeavor to use from now on.
Chubbied for Emily Postal. It is a phrase I'll endeavor to use from now on.
halnewcome
+0 -0
Today was the first time I really looked at the picture of Mr Teal. He looked so frowny, serious... cold? I had to go back and see if his expression had changed from previous strips.
Today was the first time I really looked at the picture of Mr Teal. He looked so frowny, serious... cold? I had to go back and see if his expression had changed from previous strips.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Seriously, birds are pretty but are also sort of creepy.
Little black button eyes. Eyes like shallow, muddy pools. Quick flicker-moves like a lizard.
Man, fuck you A Bug's Life.
Seriously, birds are pretty but are also sort of creepy.
Little black button eyes. Eyes like shallow, muddy pools. Quick flicker-moves like a lizard.
Man, fuck you A Bug's Life.
tekende
+0 -0
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by InspectorGadget, TombsGrave, Miku224)
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by InspectorGadget, TombsGrave, Miku224)
irondave
+0 -0
You take that back right now.
You take that back right now.
tekende
+0 -1
I will not, sir.
I will not, sir.
irondave
+0 -0
I think those movies must be better when you see them partly through the eyes of your kids.
I think those movies must be better when you see them partly through the eyes of your kids.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A good reason to remain childless, for sure.
A good reason to remain childless, for sure.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh dude, high five for that one!
Oh dude, high five for that one!
loneal
+1 -0
Unless you, like irondave, use your children's young, healthy eyes as transplants for your old and failing ones.
Unless you, like irondave, use your children's young, healthy eyes as transplants for your old and failing ones.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Triple hi-five, with all of us jumping into the air at the same time and a freeze-frame.
Triple hi-five, with all of us jumping into the air at the same time and a freeze-frame.
loneal
+0 -0
Can there be a little explosion graphic where our hands meet?
Can there be a little explosion graphic where our hands meet?
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
Oh, damn yes .
Oh, damn yes .
noah_j
+0 -1
oh damn yes?
oh damn yes?
norrin
+0 -0
The theme to "Perfect Strangers" playing in the background.
The theme to "Perfect Strangers" playing in the background.
jbushnell
+1 -0
Kurt Russell all a crumpled bloody mess beneath you
Kurt Russell all a crumpled bloody mess beneath you
catgrl131
+1 -0
Keith the publican lying beside him, having used his last breath to lay a tender kiss on Kurt's lips, then losing his last drop of strength...
Keith the publican lying beside him, having used his last breath to lay a tender kiss on Kurt's lips, then losing his last drop of strength...
falseprophet
+0 -0
I wanted to chubby this entire conversation but knew that I couldn't and so I chose yours - which made the reference to Death Proof clear and real - my Representative. Congratulations.
I wanted to chubby this entire conversation but knew that I couldn't and so I chose yours - which made the reference to Death Proof clear and real - my Representative. Congratulations.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Antz was, in my opinion, the superior CGI insect film.
Antz was, in my opinion, the superior CGI insect film.
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
Naw, maybe it was because I watched it when it first came out as a kid, but I think a bugs life is better.
....... in my opinion....cough
Naw, maybe it was because I watched it when it first came out as a kid, but I think a bugs life is better.
....... in my opinion....cough
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
However, Fucking Nemo was relatively delightful.
However, Fucking Nemo was relatively delightful.
loneal
+2 -0
It's the feet that get me. Sinister scaly feet with pointy little claws. You can tell those motherfuckers evolved from dinosaurs by their feet, and it's unsettling.
It's the feet that get me. Sinister scaly feet with pointy little claws. You can tell those motherfuckers evolved from dinosaurs by their feet, and it's unsettling.
phy
+3 -0
You can tell by the glint in a sparrow's eye, it remembers that its ancestors were six feet long with a sickle claw on each foot, and our ancestors were a wet crunch in its mouth. The tables have turned and KFC kills two million chickens a day, but how long will that last?
The birds wait.
You can tell by the glint in a sparrow's eye, it remembers that its ancestors were six feet long with a sickle claw on each foot, and our ancestors were a wet crunch in its mouth. The tables have turned and KFC kills two million chickens a day, but how long will that last?
The birds wait.
paco
+0 -0
They don't just wait. They develop killer biological weapons to wipe us out . . . like flus
They don't just wait. They develop killer biological weapons to wipe us out . . . like flus
i_love_kate
+0 -1
I think you've made the comparison of eyes to small bodies of mudded water before. You, my friend, are slipping.
I think you've made the comparison of eyes to small bodies of mudded water before. You, my friend, are slipping.
maximus
+1 -0
I must say that for anyone willing to put aside their preconceptions about the absolute merits of animated and/or family-oriented films you will be hard pressed to find a film as entertaining and satisfying as The Incredibles . It also has some rather menacing electronic birds as sentries, but perhaps I'm laboring the point.
I must say that for anyone willing to put aside their preconceptions about the absolute merits of animated and/or family-oriented films you will be hard pressed to find a film as entertaining and satisfying as The Incredibles . It also has some rather menacing electronic birds as sentries, but perhaps I'm laboring the point.
tekende
+1 -0
I. Love. That. Movie.
I. Love. That. Movie.
tombsgrave
+0 -0
All is forgiven!
All is forgiven!
irondave
+0 -0
Same here. Huuuuugs!
Same here. Huuuuugs!
verbose
+0 -0
That wouldn't help one little bit. Knowing the murderous intent that lurks behind Mr Teal's eyes casts a shadow over scenes that previously seemed innocent and carefree.
While he has yet to murder Keith, he has already murdered our innocence.
That wouldn't help one little bit. Knowing the murderous intent that lurks behind Mr Teal's eyes casts a shadow over scenes that previously seemed innocent and carefree.
While he has yet to murder Keith, he has already murdered our innocence.
varnish
+0 -0
Mr. Teal giggles to himself when he is offscreen. A nasty, snuffling sort of giggle.
Mr. Teal giggles to himself when he is offscreen. A nasty, snuffling sort of giggle.
ruster2000
+0 -0
A comment left by ruster2000 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, divot, FineMusk, Thorfinn, wittyname, cavebaby, foea, thatskotkid)
A comment left by ruster2000 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, divot, FineMusk, Thorfinn, wittyname, cavebaby, foea, thatskotkid)
wittyname
+2 -1
I am tired of people telling me how to vote. Seriously, I'll vote however I want to. Your opinion on this strip is not the final end-all opinion.
I am tired of people telling me how to vote. Seriously, I'll vote however I want to. Your opinion on this strip is not the final end-all opinion.
onion_lightly
+0 -0
A comment left by onion_lightly was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, wittyname, dasilodavi)
A comment left by onion_lightly was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, wittyname, dasilodavi)
aristagoras
+1 -0
I'm really enjoying this new side of Cornelius. I appreciated what Onstad was trying to do with those "Badass" games, but this situation fits Cornelius' character better.
I'm really enjoying this new side of Cornelius. I appreciated what Onstad was trying to do with those "Badass" games, but this situation fits Cornelius' character better.
indiglow
+1 -0
Somewhere, a person with an overactive imagination is now writing slash fanfic between an electronic finch and a stuffed bear.
I have commented on assetbar just to inform you all of this sure fact.
I brace for lames, but my work here is done.
Somewhere, a person with an overactive imagination is now writing slash fanfic between an electronic finch and a stuffed bear.
I have commented on assetbar just to inform you all of this sure fact.
I brace for lames, but my work here is done.
bixschmix
+2 -0
And by "a person with an overactive imagination" you mean Manflesh?
And by "a person with an overactive imagination" you mean Manflesh?
johnnyrocker
+11 -1
DOCTOR Manflesh. The guy spend four years at anal play medical school. Show some respect.
DOCTOR Manflesh. The guy spend four years at anal play medical school. Show some respect.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
*spent.
*spent.
paco
+0 -0
best. avatar. ever.
best. avatar. ever.
dasilodavi
+5 -0
Will Cornelius prove himself a coward who would desert a dying man?
Will Cornelius prove himself a coward who would desert a dying man?
thicker
+0 -0
I was getting a whiff of "test of character" for this arc, similar to cartilage head.
I was getting a whiff of "test of character" for this arc, similar to cartilage head.
tenthman
+2 -0
This strip will end with Mr. Teal singing a song that his programmer taught him as he dies slowly and Cornelius flying out into space tripping hard balls and seeing the star child, then waking in a white room where he is present both as an infant and old man.
This strip will end with Mr. Teal singing a song that his programmer taught him as he dies slowly and Cornelius flying out into space tripping hard balls and seeing the star child, then waking in a white room where he is present both as an infant and old man.
noah_j
+0 -0
only if we're lucky
only if we're lucky
pyro_ike
+0 -0
Moreover, will he prove himself man enough to hide a body when the time comes?
(...for a given value of 'body'.)
Moreover, will he prove himself man enough to hide a body when the time comes?
(...for a given value of 'body'.)
bluejay
+0 -0
This rules. Expand this into an O'Reilly-length tutorial where a scheming finch teaches you computer basics by way of plotting murder and treachery. More or less like Why's Poignant Guide to Ruby .
This rules. Expand this into an O'Reilly-length tutorial where a scheming finch teaches you computer basics by way of plotting murder and treachery. More or less like Why's Poignant Guide to Ruby .
paperboy_2000
+8 -0
Dang, look at Mr. Teal, suddenly all pro ice.
You can't be Mr. Teal. Some other guy, working some other job is Mr. Teal. You're Mr. Pink!
Dang, look at Mr. Teal, suddenly all pro ice.
You can't be Mr. Teal. Some other guy, working some other job is Mr. Teal. You're Mr. Pink!
lazarusloafer
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thorfinn
+0 -0
This is the post that causes me to jump on the virtual chubby bandwagon. You, sir, deserve a chubby, but all I have to give you is a v-chub
This is the post that causes me to jump on the virtual chubby bandwagon. You, sir, deserve a chubby, but all I have to give you is a v-chub
atticusonline
+0 -0
are yuo a fucking sharpener? Answer me, are you a fucking sharpener?
are yuo a fucking sharpener? Answer me, are you a fucking sharpener?
terrainasaur
+1 -0
i love how cornelius' last line is in italics.
i love how cornelius' last line is in italics.
okl
+0 -0
A comment left by okl was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, indiglow, Checkmatejones, InspectorGadget, atticusonline)
A comment left by okl was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, indiglow, Checkmatejones, InspectorGadget, atticusonline)
achilleselbow
+2 -0
I am surprised at how easily Cornelius consents to murder. What a highly inadvisable course of action.
I am surprised at how easily Cornelius consents to murder. What a highly inadvisable course of action.
flazisismuss
+1 -0
I don't think a charge of murder would stick, or indeed be considered. Assuming the California Penal Code applies to Achewood, Cal. Penal Code sec. 187 requires, among other elements, "...killing of a human being..." and I am fairly certain that no caselaw to date has shoehorned obnoxious AI assistants into the definition of a human being.
I don't think a charge of murder would stick, or indeed be considered. Assuming the California Penal Code applies to Achewood, Cal. Penal Code sec. 187 requires, among other elements, "...killing of a human being..." and I am fairly certain that no caselaw to date has shoehorned obnoxious AI assistants into the definition of a human being.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Yes, but Cornelius is not a human being, and neither is any other main character in this strip. So I assume the Underground has different laws.
Yes, but Cornelius is not a human being, and neither is any other main character in this strip. So I assume the Underground has different laws.
checkmatejones
+0 -0
A comment left by checkmatejones was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, flazisismuss, InspectorGadget, usversusthem, scraggg)
A comment left by checkmatejones was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, flazisismuss, InspectorGadget, usversusthem, scraggg)
norrin
+0 -0
That joke has been made, and, what's more, it was made in photoshop form.
That joke has been made, and, what's more, it was made in photoshop form.
tekende
+1 -0
And a picture is worth more words than that comment contained.
And a picture is worth more words than that comment contained.
sarabria
+0 -0
The words TEAL FINCH aren't quite an anagram of NICE PETE but man they could be related.
The words TEAL FINCH aren't quite an anagram of NICE PETE but man they could be related.
loneal
+2 -0
Nice Thalf? Nice Flath? These sound like come-ons from someone very drunk.
Nice Thalf? Nice Flath? These sound like come-ons from someone very drunk.
maximus
+3 -0
ANTI-FELCH
ANTI-FELCH
zeltaen
+1 -0
Well god damn. Cornelius didn't question this for a second.
Note: A publican is not a political affiliation like I thought it was. It means someone who runs a pub. Achewood has taught me so much about the British.
Well god damn. Cornelius didn't question this for a second.
Note: A publican is not a political affiliation like I thought it was. It means someone who runs a pub. Achewood has taught me so much about the British.
flaaron
+0 -0
I, too, assumed it was a political affiliation. Looks like I learned something today. A chubby for the good sir.
I, too, assumed it was a political affiliation. Looks like I learned something today. A chubby for the good sir.
iseedeadpixels
+1 -0
Notice that your avatar is freakin awesome
Where did you get it?
Notice that your avatar is freakin awesome
Where did you get it?
flaaron
+1 -0
Photoshop and far too much time on my hands.
Photoshop and far too much time on my hands.
aperson
+0 -1
'Emocrat' - proprietor of a macrobiotic whole foods oxygen bar.
'Emocrat' - proprietor of a macrobiotic whole foods oxygen bar.
epicurus
+0 -0
Good lord is this arc ever going places I did not expect.
Good lord is this arc ever going places I did not expect.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
That's what she said.
That's what she said.
farqussus
+1 -0
Whackity schmackity dooooooooooo
Whackity schmackity dooooooooooo
madnes
+0 -0
I enjoy your Patton Oswalt shtick.
I enjoy your Patton Oswalt shtick.
ixalarx
+1 -0
I can't think of anyone I'd rather tell that I've started saying "Instanter, my good man."
I can't think of anyone I'd rather tell that I've started saying "Instanter, my good man."
numberkillinger
+0 -0
ooooo sotico's gonna be mad!
ooooo sotico's gonna be mad!
epicurus
+0 -0
It's nice to be known for something, even if it isn't! That's my new catch-phrase I've been saying around the office now.
It's nice to be known for something, even if it isn't! That's my new catch-phrase I've been saying around the office now.
farqussus
+0 -0
don't start that again! you've been so good.
don't start that again! you've been so good.
epicurus
+0 -0
You noticed!
You noticed!
plummet
+0 -0
The way Connie can wait on such a thing so coolly and calmly, with his goblet of Tokay and his copy of Horace's best, is truly incredibly.
He is a real Badass.
The way Connie can wait on such a thing so coolly and calmly, with his goblet of Tokay and his copy of Horace's best, is truly incredibly.
He is a real Badass.
neonfreon
+0 -0
best arc ever.
best arc ever.
falseprophet
+0 -1
Here is something I can't understand
How Corn can just kill a publican.
Here is something I can't understand
How Corn can just kill a publican.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Clearly he is doing a disservice to the craft.
Clearly he is doing a disservice to the craft.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
v-chub. kinda 'cause i just saw a live version on a paintball video.
v-chub. kinda 'cause i just saw a live version on a paintball video.
noah_j
+0 -1
the artificial bird plots with the bear to murder an electronic pub owner.
the artificial bird plots with the bear to murder an electronic pub owner.
achewood
+0 -0
Cornelius gained a lot of weight in the ninth panel.
Cornelius gained a lot of weight in the ninth panel.
fidelio-roo
+0 -0
This is one of the most amazing story arcs I've seen on Achewood since... I can't think of any specific examples.
This is one of the most amazing story arcs I've seen on Achewood since... I can't think of any specific examples.
jeet
+0 -0
Oh goodness I didn't even see your comment when I posted mine below, and look! They are alike.
Oh goodness I didn't even see your comment when I posted mine below, and look! They are alike.
jeet
+0 -0
This story arc is pretty awesome.
Especially Mr. Teal. He's getting to be one of my favorite characters now.
This story arc is pretty awesome.
Especially Mr. Teal. He's getting to be one of my favorite characters now.
doomtrooper
+0 -0
Never thought Achewood would be somewhere close to a Ludlum novel :P
Never thought Achewood would be somewhere close to a Ludlum novel :P
lizjones
+0 -0
Cornelius is going to do the murder act.
Cornelius is going to do the murder act.
skoora
+0 -0
Hella murderz up in the computer hood.
Hella murderz up in the computer hood.
m3funkyb
+1 -0
Mr. Teal is crazier than Nice Pete and I have a feeling Corn is going to find this out pretty quickly after the Publican is gone.
Mr. Teal is crazier than Nice Pete and I have a feeling Corn is going to find this out pretty quickly after the Publican is gone.
miku224
+0 -0
I'm sorry, but no. Mr Teal's got nothing on Nice Pete's crazies.
I'm sorry, but no. Mr Teal's got nothing on Nice Pete's crazies.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Cornelius types in ye olde english
Cornelius types in ye olde english
collier
+0 -0
If " 'WARE THE SEETHING TEAL" isn't a tee shirt, I don't know what is.
If " 'WARE THE SEETHING TEAL" isn't a tee shirt, I don't know what is.
comic_sans
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so does mr. teal live in england or is he electronic and this just hasn't been made clear yet
if he is real then england is a few miles away from california and cars can't get there easily
so does mr. teal live in england or is he electronic and this just hasn't been made clear yet
if he is real then england is a few miles away from california and cars can't get there easily
neutralbob
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This strip is one of the many reasons that I love Achewood.
This strip is one of the many reasons that I love Achewood.
jimple
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carlyle
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I am glad the random button has taken me to the beginning of this arc. For I love it.
I am glad the random button has taken me to the beginning of this arc. For I love it.
A comment left by hygraed was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, Lolsworth, unklmnky69, waddie, FineMusk, Thorfinn, kylank, LordHumungus, dennycrane, Conn, DrSkradley, shoethings, nutmeg, scraggg, Doc_Rostov, NumberKillinger, SPECTRE)
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Cornelius will straight poison you for annoying a finch. A FINCH WHO HAS YELLED AT HIM. Has a stuffed bear ever been more hardcore?
Granted the publican is digital, the finch is digital... and Cornelius is a wee bit unsane.
Is your avatar a shark's jaws or an endoscope view of a human larynx?
[IMGS OFF]
Also, the poison must be fairly heat stable. Any ideas as to what a finch would use to poison a pizza?
Probably some bad suet. Hot pepper mix, I'm guessing.
H1N1. Actually that's not really heat stable. Maybe some taco bell.
This has been one of my favorite arcs to date.
Well, the arc started off as pure drivel, but I see it picking up a little now. Just as well really.
I foresee a "Strangers on a Train"-type scenario where Cornelius is pressured against his will to kill the publican after Mr. Teal electrocutes Pat, exacting Cornelius' hastily-worded revenge for his brutal and senseless shooting of Cornelius those many years ago.
Isn't Roast Beef due to get shot again?
I'm looking for more of a "Throw Mama from the Train" with yelling and hilarious antics! "OWEN! YOU STUPID POOP!"
A comment left by numberkillinger was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, waddie, Thorfinn, kylank, GregChant, kylemcjuicy, lamelliform, indolent, Doc_Rostov, Mastronaut, SPECTRE, Pigs)
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by SnotGrumble, waddie, Thorfinn, kylank, SPECTRE)
The top of the page is such a kill zone. Only the strongest survive.
Dusk. A secretive old bear steps out of an old-school gothic bus with arched windows. Bats swarm overhead, the organ arpeggios swell. With the last turn of a rusty spade, a publican is extinguished from this mortal coil.
... or is he?
I love this slightly sinister side of Cornelius, it reminds me of a Heinleinian (?) or Poeic (?) hero, who feels compelled to murder the rude and boorish out of concern for the delicate nature of ladies who are present.
Perhaps this arc will reveal how Cornelius came to be detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure . Although, my personal view is that Cornelius is perpetually in his late sixties/early seventies, from Interwar-Period-Britain (Given his age during what I assume was his studies abroad , and as such, would have been detained at His Majesty's Pleasure.
So, what you're saying is that Cornelius is ~65 in the same way that Phillipe is 5?
Exactly. I mean, he is a teddy bear, after all. Even if he was sewn prior to the "teddy" prefix, he would most likely accept the term due to social communicative convenience. The man moves with the times a bit, after all - but his morality is old-school and solid as the motherfucking Rock of Gibraltar.
This now makes So. Much. Sense.
I appreciate learning new knowledge about this fictional universe.
That is my understanding anyway. This then creates a dilemma, in that if Connie is permanently 65, and Phillipe is permanently 5, (as opposed to Beef and Ray, who, being cats, were at one point younger, as we have seen in strips) then they were created that age, and were not "born" as such. This then begs he question, how is Phillipe's mother his mother? How was Connie visiting Achewood U in 1902? What of Iris Gambol ?
Created with false memories, ala Blade Runner or BioShock, mayhaps? Cornelius being created as a younger bear, and natural wear-and-tear has aged his physical form, and thus, his personality? I had a bad egg sandwhich and chocolate milk for breakfast and have put too much fractured, chocolatey thought into this? All are distinct possibilities.
The implications are staggering. I had honestly forgotten Cornelius et al were stuffed animals in my mental deliberations about their aging. Well said, linning.
i guess if i was gonna be a cock to hygraed i probably should have been a bit more clever about it.
1 person out of 30 got it, anyway
I got it, but it was worth neither a lame nor a chubby in my eye.
Same here. I started to think up a witty response/treatise on ironic use of the most annoying aspects of a meta-society, but I really couldn't be arsed.
I chubbied you because it is clear to me you are being sarcastic by posting First in such a blatantly cliche Internet way. It looks as though the people laming you do so because they think you have posted what you believe to be the first post, but you are a stupid because it is not. It was clear to me the sardonic wit you were employing, especially since you could not have made such a gaffe without first realizing you had clearly hit the reply button on the man's post .
In short, I submit that it is the lamers who are the stupids, my good man. It is the lamers.
I think it was mainly a knee-jerk reaction to seeing the word "first", although possibly everyone totally understood the point I was making and thought it was completely lame.
Also: I'm glad people do not agree that I am a douche.
I have inadvertantly discovered a psycho-social cheat code in Assetbar to get chubbies and avoid lames!
Basically, make whatever statement you want, and then at the end of your post subtly make the reader feel guilty if they lame you! Of course, it's still in the trial period, it can't be guaranteed to work, and you have to give up a fair chunk of your self-respect if you do it deliberately to garner chubbies , but if that's your thing, go for it!
Oh, and now people know about it, so it probably won't work!
I know I'll probably get lamed as all hell for this, but whatever.
The last sentence was both an example of the trend as well as the truth. It's complicated.
NOTE: I've never done this deliberately, myself. But I have been known to do it because it was a true statement at the time, only realising afterward its unexpected effect.
Use with caution - the tables may turn.
To add to your list of cheat codes, apparently yelling at people for chubbying you also works wonders.
Dammit! I want to lame you to prove you wrong...but that last line....it's seeping into my skull!
SEEPING!
Let's try out your strategy, in its barest form:
Clearly Onstad has lost his touch with this one!!!!!
Sorry guys, it must be the Leukemia talking.
Fabulously done, and I see you wisely did not specify whose leukemia was causing you angst.
It is plainly the Leukemia, in total, like you would say "It's the Plague talking."
Or "It's the Calculus talking"?