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Todd wants to yell BALLS extremely loud Thursday, August 11, 2005 • read strip Viewing 85 comments:

I want a shirt like Todd's

I have been meaning to have such a shirt made for some time now

Just get a white tee shirt and write "THE MIRACLE" on it in permanent marker.

Also, draw in the shoulder stripes.

DIY is fun!

This is true.

Fuck man, we got hella Busey goin' on here....

One would assume this is how Todd made his in the first place. The other 45 dollars are obviously just for all the cocaine todd will snort immediately before it's his turn. He's got a pretty good chance at winning I'd bet, as long as Nice Pete isn't also an entrant.

he just hates todd.

God dammit Todd, whilst reaching into his suit coat.

Ray respects Todd's office, if not the squirrel

It bears repeating: Ray Smuckles is a wonderful man!

You're Terrible!
YOU ARE TERRIBLE!

I still yell this at my terrible friends.

I had an extremely large black dude at my job who was quite humorous. One time this not-so-attractive-at-all girl came up and saw I was reading Faulkner and was like, "That's so cool!"

I was surprised, because she didn't seem to be like the kind to like Faulkner, so I said, "That's pretty neat."

"What is?" said my large friend.

"Faulkner. She likes Faulkner."

He misheard and thought I made some comment expressing the desire to fuck her. His eyes got real big and he began violently shaking his head and saying, "Why would you do that! That is terrible! It is a terrible thing! "

I immediately thought of this.

Later I told her I was surprised that she liked Faulkner and she said, "Oh, I just like reading in general!"

...

"Faulkner, Jude Devereaux, Matthew Lesko, McDonald's menus, traffic signs. Y'know, just reading!"

Kinda like those people who, when asked what kind of music they like, say they "listen to everything". Which usually ends up meaning they like Dave Matthews Band and terrible radio hip-hop.

Slathered in chubbies. This whole thread made my day. Fuck the Dave Matthews Band.

Chubbied for hostility.

Chubbied for the mental image of Putin declaring, "Fuck the Dave Matthews Band."

Chubbied for Atomsk-Naota dual-wielding Gibsons. Flying V in the right and EB-0 in the left.

"I listen to everything! You know, Dave Matthews Band, Jack Johnson, Kanye West.....uhh....D-...Dave Matthews Band..."

"I like the oldies too! Michael Jackson...Madonna...Billy Joel but I dont no alot by him LOL!"

There is a test to see if someone truly "listens to everything."

Play The Boredoms for them.

If they sit and listen for five minutes or more they either meant what they said, or they have respectable tenacity.

By that standard, I do not listen to everything.

It's really nothing to be ashamed of.

It happens to alot of guys.

I listened to the boredoms for a half hour.

Is something wrong with me?

Probably yes, but there's something wrong with everyone so it's not a Thing.

A comment left by diggidy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, kenthegod, milkpants, ravindra108)

Learn 2 Drive Through.

have u had whoper

:)

I know people like that. One of them is a librarian. I think she has a Condition that causes her to read any text put before her eyes.

I'm a librarian and I never read traffic signs.

I am glad you don't live near me

Actually, I quite like to read. By this, I mean that when my immediate attention is not otherwise required (for instance walking, but most usually when passenger in a motorvehicle of some sort), I will occupy myself by reading... reading some of the most boring things ever to have been written in the history of the alphabet. Traffic signs, lorry (truck) cowlings, greengrocers's apostrophes...

chubbied for the question mark suit reference

Quote:
"That's so cool!"

(What was left unsaid, therefore implied)
"that you know how to read!"

It is depressing to me that a person would think on commenting to a person just for such as reading any old thing. She probably likes Danielle Steele.

I see this line completely differently. I think Todd knew it was a classy party and was crashing it as blackmail for the 50 bucks. Ray is telling him he is terrible for doing so. Todd's line in panel 7 seems somewhat threatening to me. The whole strip seems like a negotiation.

Yeah, this sounds like it could be another Todd/Lyle con. Basically, Ray knows that if he doesn't pay up, Todd's just gonna yell "Balls" so loud at his classy party.

i don't

A comment left by dropkickpikachu was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DR_MANFLESH_DESIRES_ANAL_PLAY_IMMEDIATELY, madnes, Moolah, Thorfinn, fell, wittyname, GeyserShitdick, kylemcjuicy, milkpants, andrew_k, pquinn87, philosophe, wehavemagnums)

"Simolean" was slang for dollar at least 50 years before SimCity came out. Sorry. At least I didn't lame you like those other heartless souls.

A comment left by gothfae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, mattbeetee, Deusoma, Malesherbez, farqussus, pitseleh, mystkmanat, Audhumla, jwinehou, philosophe)

Well goddamn I am just the darnedest fella aren't I.

For the record I hardly think you charming Phillipesque naivete deserved all those lames.

Apparently I will not learn how to spell 'philippe' until I read a few thousand more Achewood strips.

Cunty the Sardine?

fiddy simoleons ought to take any squirrel a long-ass way.

todd's an automatic five.

This ain't a party of crap dudes is also an incredible line. Onstad should be a politican because all of his sound bites would totally fuckinate the competition.

A comment left by madrin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by goocifer, _cheesekayke, Zem, STUART)

Holy shit, "fuckinate"? Goddamn. I can't thinking beyond a few damn swears or so, that's how awesome that is.

Chubbied for "fuckinate."

same.

Yelling "BALLS!" is hell on ankle veins

My favorite Achewood strip. Classic Todd behavior and Ray is hilarious when he's angry.

Todd, The Miracle of Loud Balls.

Don't give him money. Don't give him anymore MONEY!

[size=20]BALLS[/size]

I guess not all BBCode tags are allowed here...

it's ok, we got what you were going for

I love how it doesn't occur to Ray to just say 'no'.

There's no fighting Todd, that only makes him more annoying. Fifty is a small price to pay to make him get lost.

How wildly appropriate that you icon is Ray going "No."

todd IS terrible

What makes it for me is that Ray is just furious, but he still goes for the wallet. No matter that Todd's a "bullshit man," or a "crap dude." Ray Q. Smuckles helps out a man in need.

Todd is up against some tough competition, having a tiny squirrel voice to begin with.

Did anyone else have the urge to scream, "BALLS!" really loudly after reading this?

Did anyone else actually do it?

this has to be todds greatest moment.

oh god that shirt. that motherfuckin shirt. it slays me every single time.

*goes down the street to yell "BALLS!" louder than anyone else*

One of my favourites. Ray Smuckles is a wonderful man.

That this strip is not rated 5.0 is a travesty of justice

That Todd! He's so irreverent.

The "BALLS!" yelling contest sounds like the sort of thing you'd see on ESPN2 at 3:00 AM.

Right between showings of five-year old Scrabble championships and competitive chainsawing.

Rock Paper Scissors world championships. It's real.

The world has begun to emulate the work of Gary Larson.

I won't be worried until the chickens become restless.

I think he can do it. At least, he's yelled hard enough at his girlfriend that he had to be hospitalized.

Todd: The Miracle of Loud Balls. (1998) 1hr. 39min.
A young American squirrel aspires to yell "BALLS!" louder than anyone, ever. A heartwarming and inspiring adult family comic drama.
Rated R for Fantasy Violence, intense battle sequences, Drug use, Frightening images, Blasphemy, Yelling, Balls.

Fuck yes, dusty

Can you imagine the pain that would be caused? Screaming BALLS so hard your ankle veins bust?

I'm pretty sure all that was involved in having that shirt "made" was finding a blank T-shirt and writing "The Miracle" on it.

Dude, he put racing stripes on the arms.

Todd reminds me of Dana Carvey's character in "The Road to Wellville". All laying out the screaming of balls to get money, all needing an ankle wrap because he is downright pregnant in panels 4 and 8...

I love how it is just part of Ray's character that he can't just not give him the money. That is something Ray would never do.

Panel three is my favorite thing. I curl up next to it at night and throw it at my foes.