tsrts13
+0 -0
the boffin saves the day?
the boffin saves the day?
tsrts13
+16 -0
renteal? is the boffin mr. teal? are they one and the same? are all of the shrovisthorpe's idiosyncrasies really just the malicious work of some hacker? will lassie reach the old mill in time?
find out on the next episode of lost.
renteal? is the boffin mr. teal? are they one and the same? are all of the shrovisthorpe's idiosyncrasies really just the malicious work of some hacker? will lassie reach the old mill in time?
find out on the next episode of lost.
achilleselbow
+4 -0
Keith is the name of the publican, I believe, and Mr. Teal's name also appears in there. All 3 are just clever identities of the same 1337 h4x0r.
Keith is the name of the publican, I believe, and Mr. Teal's name also appears in there. All 3 are just clever identities of the same 1337 h4x0r.
thorfinn
+0 -0
you snuck in in the two minutes between my last refresh and my post, making it look as if I had simply restated your idea.
you snuck in in the two minutes between my last refresh and my post, making it look as if I had simply restated your idea.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, blastradius, MadMangosteen, wittyname, lamelliform, farqussus, NDCaesar, milkpants, shades, luckypyjamas, missania, killerlimpet, Boyd, iidebaser, Doc_Rostov, perhapsmaybe)
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, blastradius, MadMangosteen, wittyname, lamelliform, farqussus, NDCaesar, milkpants, shades, luckypyjamas, missania, killerlimpet, Boyd, iidebaser, Doc_Rostov, perhapsmaybe)
scraggg
+0 -0
A comment left by scraggg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, waddie, Thorfinn, joeynarcotic, razznixx, farqussus)
A comment left by scraggg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, waddie, Thorfinn, joeynarcotic, razznixx, farqussus)
iidebaser
+1 -0
sorry about that lame, it was just an instant reflex to a picture of a tiny kitten saying something cute on the internet. meant nothing by it.
sorry about that lame, it was just an instant reflex to a picture of a tiny kitten saying something cute on the internet. meant nothing by it.
farqussus
+1 -2
there need be no apologies for the laming of lolcats!
there need be no apologies for the laming of lolcats!
eatmorekix
+0 -0
A comment left by eatmorekix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Aon, NDCaesar, opprobrium, mrblank91, iidebaser, fociP, svigali)
A comment left by eatmorekix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Aon, NDCaesar, opprobrium, mrblank91, iidebaser, fociP, svigali)
eatmorekix
+0 -0
oh fudge. just right-click ---> view image to see the whole thing. why does assetbar do that?!
oh fudge. just right-click ---> view image to see the whole thing. why does assetbar do that?!
daidai
+0 -0
Lolanimals apparently lead to lames regardless of circumstances.
Lolanimals apparently lead to lames regardless of circumstances.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
people just need to be more open-minded. i mean, that seal/walrus(?) does look a LOT like dr. phil.
people just need to be more open-minded. i mean, that seal/walrus(?) does look a LOT like dr. phil.
drskradley
+4 -0
Aw, come on, you know that ain't no walrus. Now that's spoken like a true asshole. There is nary a tusk or mystacial vibrissae to be had on that creature.
"But Doctor!" many will proclaim, "Surely only the males have tusks! Is this not how such species generally work? See such magnificent beastiary as that of the majestic narwhal! Or the positively elemental pachyderm! How could you make such a grievous and, dare we say, heinous error?"
"Well," says Dr Skradley, his proud moustache but delicately flirting the muzzle of his oxbone pipe, "wrap your peepers 'round this shit:
[IMGS OFF]
Aw, come on, you know that ain't no walrus. Now that's spoken like a true asshole. There is nary a tusk or mystacial vibrissae to be had on that creature.
"But Doctor!" many will proclaim, "Surely only the males have tusks! Is this not how such species generally work? See such magnificent beastiary as that of the majestic narwhal! Or the positively elemental pachyderm! How could you make such a grievous and, dare we say, heinous error?"
"Well," says Dr Skradley, his proud moustache but delicately flirting the muzzle of his oxbone pipe, "wrap your peepers 'round this shit:
[IMGS OFF]
finish_him
+2 -0
Still can't find their bukkits, I see.
Still can't find their bukkits, I see.
straw
+0 -0
Is a doctor allowed to be king, even if it just king of an internet?
Is a doctor allowed to be king, even if it just king of an internet?
miku224
+0 -0
Chubbied for peepers alone, man.
Chubbied for peepers alone, man.
irondave
+0 -0
Man that's a lot of fucking walruses.
Man that's a lot of fucking walruses.
tekende
+2 -0
Quote:
Biggest orgy ever.
Quote:
Man that's a lot of fucking walruses.
Biggest orgy ever.
deusoma
+4 -0
It's either he's right and both genders have tusks, or that is a massive concentration of cask-strength gay right there.
It's either he's right and both genders have tusks, or that is a massive concentration of cask-strength gay right there.
invidious
+0 -0
If only I had a dollar for every time I've said that in my life...
If only I had a dollar for every time I've said that in my life...
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Plus he spelled Keith correctly. He wins, and you lose.
You lose, thorfinn.
HA.
HA.
Plus he spelled Keith correctly. He wins, and you lose.
You lose, thorfinn.
HA.
HA.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I was typing quickly and failed to notice that until after posting. There should be a five minute window where you can edit your post after noticing a typo, or maybe a preview function of some sort, so you can double check your post before submitting it, to avoid shameful moments such as these.
I was typing quickly and failed to notice that until after posting. There should be a five minute window where you can edit your post after noticing a typo, or maybe a preview function of some sort, so you can double check your post before submitting it, to avoid shameful moments such as these.
pogo
+13 -0
There are no do-overs in real life, nor in Assetbar. This needs to be corrected in our liberal "good job" esteem-boosting education.
There are no do-overs in real life, nor in Assetbar. This needs to be corrected in our liberal "good job" esteem-boosting education.
miku224
+1 -0
Pogo, sir, I chubby you.
Pogo, sir, I chubby you.
pogo
+0 -0
Many thanks, son.
Many thanks, son.
tekende
+0 -0
Haha, virtual chubby!
Haha, virtual chubby!
spinynorman
+3 -0
It's tough to imagine exactly what the hell Mr. Renteal wanted out of this. If he wanted to provoke an elderly bear into running around, terrified and paranoid, there are numerous underground establishments that are able to provide this for much less work.
Also, does anyone else get the impression that the police station used to be a Denny's or something? I've seen that happen with banks, but, I mean, shit...
It's tough to imagine exactly what the hell Mr. Renteal wanted out of this. If he wanted to provoke an elderly bear into running around, terrified and paranoid, there are numerous underground establishments that are able to provide this for much less work.
Also, does anyone else get the impression that the police station used to be a Denny's or something? I've seen that happen with banks, but, I mean, shit...
maximus
+1 -0
Looks like clip art from a mid-90's CD-ROM.
Looks like clip art from a mid-90's CD-ROM.
sncether
+25 -0
A police station camouflaged as a Denny's has a very unique power: the drunk drivers come to you.
A police station camouflaged as a Denny's has a very unique power: the drunk drivers come to you.
hamscout
+0 -0
Yes!
Plus, the drug dealers/users looking for short-order line cook work...
Yes!
Plus, the drug dealers/users looking for short-order line cook work...
dapooka
+17 -0
I have a theory about Denny's.
You ever notice that when you go into a Denny's you always see the same homeless guy nursing a cup of joe at the counter? Or if it's late at night, you see the same group of drunk/high/etc. high school or college students in the 6-person corner booth just past the coffee bar, giggling quietly about some double-entendre on the menus? Or if they're not there it's because of the cruiser out front and the two cops sitting in that first booth to your left filling out their paperwork?
I can't be the only one who notices these people, since they're here each and every time I walk into ANY Denny's. And all Denny's look exactly the same on the inside - no variation. NONE.
My theory? There is only ONE Denny's . All their locations are nothing a sophisticated warp device that sends you to that one Denny's in the universe.
I have a theory about Denny's.
You ever notice that when you go into a Denny's you always see the same homeless guy nursing a cup of joe at the counter? Or if it's late at night, you see the same group of drunk/high/etc. high school or college students in the 6-person corner booth just past the coffee bar, giggling quietly about some double-entendre on the menus? Or if they're not there it's because of the cruiser out front and the two cops sitting in that first booth to your left filling out their paperwork?
I can't be the only one who notices these people, since they're here each and every time I walk into ANY Denny's. And all Denny's look exactly the same on the inside - no variation. NONE.
My theory? There is only ONE Denny's . All their locations are nothing a sophisticated warp device that sends you to that one Denny's in the universe.
pogo
+0 -0
And the insidious purpose of this technology is ...?
And the insidious purpose of this technology is ...?
eatmorekix
+7 -0
cost-cutting!
cost-cutting!
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
you are becomming aware of imperfections - little glitches - in the matrix. Such observations are best not shared - not even with yourself.
you are becomming aware of imperfections - little glitches - in the matrix. Such observations are best not shared - not even with yourself.
usversusthem
+0 -0
My chubby for you is, fittingly, virtual.
My chubby for you is, fittingly, virtual.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
There Is No Chubby.
There Is No Chubby.
grayestnova
+0 -0
Our Denny's doesn't have a counter at which people may sit. Everyone must use a booth. No tables, only boothes.
Maybe we're an anomaly?
Our Denny's doesn't have a counter at which people may sit. Everyone must use a booth. No tables, only boothes.
Maybe we're an anomaly?
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
I was once among the latter and will one day be the former.
Quote:
....homeless guy nursing a cup of joe....
Quote:
....drunk/high/etc. high school or college students in the 6-person corner booth....
I was once among the latter and will one day be the former.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Eventually they transcend the material realm, achieve enlightenment and cease all earthly striving.
Eventually they transcend the material realm, achieve enlightenment and cease all earthly striving.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Plus, is Mr. Teal a wREN?
Plus, is Mr. Teal a wREN?
gormster
+2 -0
no, he's a finch.
no, he's a finch.
cromar
+0 -0
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by catgrl131, DrSkradley, opprobrium, usversusthem, NumberKillinger, lastlarf, echidnaboy)
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by catgrl131, DrSkradley, opprobrium, usversusthem, NumberKillinger, lastlarf, echidnaboy)
thorfinn
+2 -0
Kieth "Garrey" Ren teal AKA the_ boffin . All three were the same person, and Cornelius was used in a brilliant plot to hack the police for some reason we do not yet know
Kieth "Garrey" Ren teal AKA the_ boffin . All three were the same person, and Cornelius was used in a brilliant plot to hack the police for some reason we do not yet know
orvel
+0 -0
Not the police, but the FBI. These guys are pro.
Not the police, but the FBI. These guys are pro.
tsrts13
+0 -0
looks like i ws right. except about the malicious part. and lassie. she had a heart attack on the way to the mill and bobby got bludgeoned to death by the wheel. oh well. life sucks sometimes.
looks like i ws right. except about the malicious part. and lassie. she had a heart attack on the way to the mill and bobby got bludgeoned to death by the wheel. oh well. life sucks sometimes.
miseryandthesun
+20 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
noah_j
+1 -0
ah, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word
ah, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word
drskradley
+1 -0
I had the YTMND song version stuck in my head for so many days, and in fact still do.
You just don't forget a meme song like that. I mean, unless you do.
I had the YTMND song version stuck in my head for so many days, and in fact still do.
You just don't forget a meme song like that. I mean, unless you do.
odei
+0 -0
I think I did.
I think I did.
phoenixultima
+0 -0
CAPTAIN JEAN LUC PI-CARD OF THE U-S-S EN-TER-PRISE
CAPTAIN JEAN LUC PI-CARD OF THE U-S-S EN-TER-PRISE
miku224
+0 -0
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.
tekende
+0 -0
I have no clue what you guys are talking about.
I have no clue what you guys are talking about.
farqussus
+0 -0
phew. me either. Neither do I really get the relevance of Newman's encounter with the spit lizard.
phew. me either. Neither do I really get the relevance of Newman's encounter with the spit lizard.
will_grizzly
+0 -0
¿Por qué es esta cosa?
¿Por qué es esta cosa?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Chugging so many hogs...
Chugging so many hogs...
jbushnell
+6 -0
Teodor makes prison sound like a man-rape conga line.
Teodor makes prison sound like a man-rape conga line.
pogo
+0 -0
Can one get raped in the mouth?
Can one get raped in the mouth?
achilleselbow
+0 -1
I'm not sure, but one can certainly get raped in the face and hand.
I'm not sure, but one can certainly get raped in the face and hand.
killerlimpet
+0 -0
A comment left by killerlimpet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, softerworld, Mysogynista, NDCaesar, stop, mer, BlueLoggy, usversusthem, foea, SPECTRE)
A comment left by killerlimpet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, softerworld, Mysogynista, NDCaesar, stop, mer, BlueLoggy, usversusthem, foea, SPECTRE)
mjfitzge
+1 -1
a rape is force (or threat of force) of contact with someone else's genitals, anus, or mouth with any object, animal or another person's body part.
or so says my rape crisis advocate friend next to me.
so you can get raped in the mouth!
a rape is force (or threat of force) of contact with someone else's genitals, anus, or mouth with any object, animal or another person's body part.
or so says my rape crisis advocate friend next to me.
so you can get raped in the mouth!
boredom_man
+12 -0
Rape is a legal term which is neither defined by European-democratic standards of heterosexuality nor rape crisis advocates and is also the worst thing to discuss in Acheworld, ever
Rape is a legal term which is neither defined by European-democratic standards of heterosexuality nor rape crisis advocates and is also the worst thing to discuss in Acheworld, ever
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, catgrl131, woodenteeth, Boyd, iidebaser, Doc_Rostov, Panserbjorne, SPECTRE)
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, catgrl131, woodenteeth, Boyd, iidebaser, Doc_Rostov, Panserbjorne, SPECTRE)
catgrl131
+1 -0
NO BORAT.
NO BORAT.
loneal
+1 -0
Achilleselbow, man, you gotta lay off the mainstream jokes. A wave of elitist fury is poised over your head, ready to crush you into oblivion at any moment.
Achilleselbow, man, you gotta lay off the mainstream jokes. A wave of elitist fury is poised over your head, ready to crush you into oblivion at any moment.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, catgrl131, Howard, Boyd, Comrade_Tom, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, catgrl131, Howard, Boyd, Comrade_Tom, Panserbjorne)
odei
+6 -0
Hey . Several people cared about Black Books.
Hey . Several people cared about Black Books.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Oh! that is truly the limit.
Oh! that is truly the limit.
retinarow
+0 -0
"No one needs couches that eat people!"
"No one needs couches that eat people!"
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Borat is a british comedy film surely? what with the nationality of Baron Cohen considered and all..
Borat is a british comedy film surely? what with the nationality of Baron Cohen considered and all..
gormster
+0 -0
And Flight of the Conchords! Don't forget the Conchords.
(If you say they are British I will murder you )
And Flight of the Conchords! Don't forget the Conchords.
(If you say they are British I will murder you )
lawbot
+0 -0
However, as the name of a criminal offence, there is value in discussing its non-legal definition, to judge whether the legal definition meets adequate standards of fair labelling.
However, as the name of a criminal offence, there is value in discussing its non-legal definition, to judge whether the legal definition meets adequate standards of fair labelling.
killerlimpet
+0 -0
fair enough. IMO it is a piss poor legal definition.
fair enough. IMO it is a piss poor legal definition.
boredom_man
+0 -0
But there is no societal consensus on what the non-legal definition should be, as its been under active debate for at least 4000 years, and I can't imagine that this is the place we want to attempt to hash it out. Surely we are here for rough chuckles, not rough trade.
But there is no societal consensus on what the non-legal definition should be, as its been under active debate for at least 4000 years, and I can't imagine that this is the place we want to attempt to hash it out. Surely we are here for rough chuckles, not rough trade.
pogo
+0 -0
Glad I brought it up, and I do mean UP.
Glad I brought it up, and I do mean UP.
killerlimpet
+0 -0
The above is the legal definition I learned while I was training for crisis counseling. It's a shittily narrow one, but it's the definition, at least where I live.
The above is the legal definition I learned while I was training for crisis counseling. It's a shittily narrow one, but it's the definition, at least where I live.
rowboat
+0 -0
Come over here and let me show you a thing or two about rape, sonny....
Come over here and let me show you a thing or two about rape, sonny....
daidai
+1 -0
Your happy cat avatar should never define rape for me.
Again. Never again.
Your happy cat avatar should never define rape for me.
Again. Never again.
cromar
+0 -0
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, sirhan_duran, divot, flazisismuss, lamelliform, euphemisms, _cheesekayke, farqussus, DrSkradley, missania, illocybin, opprobrium, usversusthem, Doc_Rostov, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, sirhan_duran, divot, flazisismuss, lamelliform, euphemisms, _cheesekayke, farqussus, DrSkradley, missania, illocybin, opprobrium, usversusthem, Doc_Rostov, Panserbjorne)
farqussus
+0 -0
A comment left by farqussus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, cyberia, lamelliform, Jar, opprobrium, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by farqussus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, cyberia, lamelliform, Jar, opprobrium, Panserbjorne)
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
Despite the lame you seem to have been awarded, I think your response was pretty appropriate
Despite the lame you seem to have been awarded, I think your response was pretty appropriate
farqussus
+0 -2
THANK YOU. WTF PEOPLE? ARE WE HAPPY WITH EMOTICONS AGAIN?
THANK YOU. WTF PEOPLE? ARE WE HAPPY WITH EMOTICONS AGAIN?
farqussus
+0 -2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I USED CAPITALS AND WTF I AM AS BAD as him god help me it's five am i shouldn't have to be at work now.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I USED CAPITALS AND WTF I AM AS BAD as him god help me it's five am i shouldn't have to be at work now.
cromar
+0 -0
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Miku224, opprobrium, usversusthem, echidnaboy)
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Miku224, opprobrium, usversusthem, echidnaboy)
cromar
+0 -0
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Miku224, opprobrium, usversusthem, echidnaboy)
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Miku224, opprobrium, usversusthem, echidnaboy)
gormster
+11 -0
Did you just XD? XD is the worst thing. XD is a shit sandwich on two pieces of shit.
Did you just XD? XD is the worst thing. XD is a shit sandwich on two pieces of shit.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
what does XD even mean?
what does XD even mean?
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Turn it ninety degrees clockwise and it looks like a face if you're 9 to 14 years old, own a Hello Kitty doll or have dated someone that owns a Hello Kitty doll.
Turn it ninety degrees clockwise and it looks like a face if you're 9 to 14 years old, own a Hello Kitty doll or have dated someone that owns a Hello Kitty doll.
numberkillinger
+2 -0
I see. That's awful .
I see. That's awful .
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Yes. I have dated someone that owns a Hello Kitty doll.
Yes. I have dated someone that owns a Hello Kitty doll.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
I only date girls that own Hello Kitty dolls.
I only date girls that own Hello Kitty dolls.
linning
+4 -0
I only "date" Hello Kitty dolls.
I only "date" Hello Kitty dolls.
a_bad_place
+0 -0
I am a Hello Kitty doll and I only date other Hello Kitty Dolls.
I am a Hello Kitty doll and I only date other Hello Kitty Dolls.
margargaret
+3 -0
Hello kiddies. I am a doll and I am looking for a date.
Hello kiddies. I am a doll and I am looking for a date.
linning
+1 -0
Oh word up.
Oh word up.
jbushnell
+0 -0
My fucking avatar is Sanrio-designed. That's not by accident
My fucking avatar is Sanrio-designed. That's not by accident
mikeronomicon
+1 -0
I got a Hello Kitty vibrator for my girlfriend. It is very pink. Frighteningly so.
I got a Hello Kitty vibrator for my girlfriend. It is very pink. Frighteningly so.
rowboat
+0 -0
Mikeronomicon, you're obviously in need of a chubby. Here.
Mikeronomicon, you're obviously in need of a chubby. Here.
cromar
+0 -2
God, I hate you all XD
God, I hate you all XD
miseryandthesun
+2 -0
DX<
DX<
cromar
+1 -2
Oh God dammit! I just gave you an accidental chubby. Fuck!
Oh God dammit! I just gave you an accidental chubby. Fuck!
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Oh shit! I accidentally gave you one back! Fuck! God damn!
Oh shit! I accidentally gave you one back! Fuck! God damn!
fallow_fields
+1 -0
LOL! I can't decide if I've just witnessed something beautiful or if I should be disturbed by that %u2310_%u2310 Since I'm an optimist, I'll just wish them the best of luck, and go get some ice cream
'Accident: Chubby' would be a good name for a rock band
LOL! I can't decide if I've just witnessed something beautiful or if I should be disturbed by that %u2310_%u2310 Since I'm an optimist, I'll just wish them the best of luck, and go get some ice cream
'Accident: Chubby' would be a good name for a rock band
ampkit5
+0 -0
0------\
0------/
A virtual chubby for you.
0------\
0------/
A virtual chubby for you.
fallow_fields
+0 -0
thank you ampkit5, but for future reference, I prefer my v-chubs in the more concise 8==D format.
...would you believe I had opinions on emoticon genitals before 2003
thank you ampkit5, but for future reference, I prefer my v-chubs in the more concise 8==D format.
...would you believe I had opinions on emoticon genitals before 2003
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
I figured an accidental chubby was when you were sporting inappropriate wood in public for no reason. Stupid penis! I swear they are nothing but trouble.
I figured an accidental chubby was when you were sporting inappropriate wood in public for no reason. Stupid penis! I swear they are nothing but trouble.
fallow_fields
+4 -0
#penis adventures v1.2
>look
>you are inside Pants. you see some coins and a lighter
>get coins
>you can't reach them. There is a protective layer between you and the coins
>inventory
>you have 2 balls
>go west
>you can't do that right now.
>go east
>you can't do that right now.
>go north
>you manage to go six inches before you're suddenly stopped. It would seem that you're attached quite firmly to a body.
I would be frustrated too :/
#penis adventures v1.2
>look
>you are inside Pants. you see some coins and a lighter
>get coins
>you can't reach them. There is a protective layer between you and the coins
>inventory
>you have 2 balls
>go west
>you can't do that right now.
>go east
>you can't do that right now.
>go north
>you manage to go six inches before you're suddenly stopped. It would seem that you're attached quite firmly to a body.
I would be frustrated too :/
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Ok, if I could give ten chubbies for the penis text adventure you would have them all, but lo, assetbar only allows me to chubby you once. So consider yourself chubbied.
Ok, if I could give ten chubbies for the penis text adventure you would have them all, but lo, assetbar only allows me to chubby you once. So consider yourself chubbied.
lemminadetate
+0 -0
Which way do you turn XD to make a face? If I move my head counterclockwise it kind of looks like Sir Ben Kingsley dragging his ass across some carpet.
Which way do you turn XD to make a face? If I move my head counterclockwise it kind of looks like Sir Ben Kingsley dragging his ass across some carpet.
boredom_man
+0 -0
Your avatar makes that analysis beautiful.
Your avatar makes that analysis beautiful.
hardelicious
+1 -0
Mr. Teal is busy chugging honey and trying to forget about Cornelius' problems.
Mr. Teal is busy chugging honey and trying to forget about Cornelius' problems.
maximus
+0 -0
All the boffin-haters were right
All the boffin-haters were right
buffalobutt
+0 -2
It's like that kinda crappy psychological thriller w/what's his name... the gerbil felcher dude... you know what I'm talking about.
It's like that kinda crappy psychological thriller w/what's his name... the gerbil felcher dude... you know what I'm talking about.
dangelder
+6 -1
Ben Affleck?
Ben Affleck?
ddgoec
+0 -1
No. He's thinking about Ben Stiller.
No. He's thinking about Ben Stiller.
linning
+2 -0
You mean the one where the cop, the serial killer, and the girl locked in the killer's basement are all the same person? It was called "The Three" and featured possibly the greatest Motorcycle vs. Horse chase sequence since True Lies.
You mean the one where the cop, the serial killer, and the girl locked in the killer's basement are all the same person? It was called "The Three" and featured possibly the greatest Motorcycle vs. Horse chase sequence since True Lies.
boredom_man
+0 -0
Support euthanasia for dudes who do not read the entire thread before commenting... at the bead shop
Support euthanasia for dudes who do not read the entire thread before commenting... at the bead shop
elzilcho
+0 -0
Man, I see movie references here all the time, everyone feelin' all superior for knowing the best movie ever, man . I always think people are wastin' their time quotin' from all this crap 90% of us never even heard of. And here, finally , I find a movie reference I actually understand. But does that change my opinion?
Yes, yes it does. Na na-na na na, best movie ever thhppppbbttt
Man, I see movie references here all the time, everyone feelin' all superior for knowing the best movie ever, man . I always think people are wastin' their time quotin' from all this crap 90% of us never even heard of. And here, finally , I find a movie reference I actually understand. But does that change my opinion?
Yes, yes it does. Na na-na na na, best movie ever thhppppbbttt
miku224
+0 -0
Virtual Chubby!
Virtual Chubby!
agentj
+0 -0
Cornelius has been techno-had.
Cornelius has been techno-had.
senorspoof
+0 -0
Oh, terrible!
Oh, terrible!
ihatemyself
+0 -0
A comment left by ihatemyself was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, dangelder, invidious, hedonismbot, flazisismuss, GregChant, lamelliform, DrSkradley, Tragic_Johnson, usversusthem, scraggg, I_Love_Kate, tessebatt)
A comment left by ihatemyself was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, dangelder, invidious, hedonismbot, flazisismuss, GregChant, lamelliform, DrSkradley, Tragic_Johnson, usversusthem, scraggg, I_Love_Kate, tessebatt)
numberkillinger
+1 -0
You are reinforcing the 'old, Female' stereotype.
You are reinforcing the 'old, Female' stereotype.
blueloggy
+0 -0
At least "she" hates herself.
At least "she" hates herself.
drskradley
+0 -0
The intended end result of this baiting would surely be...
"WHY DID U LAME ME IS IT COZ YOU HATE TEH GAYZZZZ????/ U FUCKEN BIGOT HOMOPHOB BASTARD."
Or something similar. Maybe they'll avoid the capslock and poor spelling/grammar/punctuation stereotype, which I personally recommend them doing if they're going to try and start an effective controversy.
Up to personal style, I guess.
The intended end result of this baiting would surely be...
"WHY DID U LAME ME IS IT COZ YOU HATE TEH GAYZZZZ????/ U FUCKEN BIGOT HOMOPHOB BASTARD."
Or something similar. Maybe they'll avoid the capslock and poor spelling/grammar/punctuation stereotype, which I personally recommend them doing if they're going to try and start an effective controversy.
Up to personal style, I guess.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, whatever, up theirs if they were trying to start shit, but not up theirs if...no, up theirs either way.
Well, whatever, up theirs if they were trying to start shit, but not up theirs if...no, up theirs either way.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
I always figured the only people who did that were 13 and younger and total douches. I could be wrong, it wouldn't be the first time, and I guarantee it won't be the last.
I always figured the only people who did that were 13 and younger and total douches. I could be wrong, it wouldn't be the first time, and I guarantee it won't be the last.
destroy_you
+4 -1
ACID BURN!
ACID BURN!
salfordladsclub
+0 -0
Possibly the best movie ever made?
Possibly the best movie ever made?
destroy_you
+0 -0
Mess with the best, die like the rest.
Mess with the best, die like the rest.
dangelder
+17 -1
Cricket-Alt-Delete
[IMGS OFF]
Cricket-Alt-Delete
[IMGS OFF]
farqussus
+0 -2
is that a cheap wine bottle?
is that a cheap wine bottle?
ultros_guttedos
+0 -0
what.
what.
rude_mechanical
+0 -0
It looks more like it were the bastard offspring of a cricket bat and a table-tennis paddle.
It looks more like it were the bastard offspring of a cricket bat and a table-tennis paddle.
farqussus
+0 -0
hmm. yes. the blade of one and the abbreviated handle of the other.
hmm. yes. the blade of one and the abbreviated handle of the other.
daidai
+0 -0
A turkey baster in a rubber shortage?
A turkey baster in a rubber shortage?
landstander88
+5 -0
I often find that I too don't forget things, unless I do.
I often find that I too don't forget things, unless I do.
hikikomori
+1 -0
YOU HAVE BEEN BOFFED
YOU HAVE BEEN BOFFED
hikikomori
+0 -0
..and now I realize the title of the comic is "Getting Boffined".
..and now I feel silly.
..and now I realize the title of the comic is "Getting Boffined".
..and now I feel silly.
gormster
+0 -0
Especially given the actual definition of boff?
Especially given the actual definition of boff?
baryonyx
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
YOU HAVE BEEN BOFFED
[IMGS OFF]
YOU HAVE BEEN BOFFED
stormagnet
+0 -0
Oh hell yes chubbied.
In high school, I conducted a sort of linguistic experiment/prank, in which I used "boff/boffing" as slang for fucking. From there, it spread; ending in the ultimate payoff when some jock-looking dude, upon overhearing my friend describe his weekend plays, gave him a random hi-five and a knowing grin.
The end.
Oh hell yes chubbied.
In high school, I conducted a sort of linguistic experiment/prank, in which I used "boff/boffing" as slang for fucking. From there, it spread; ending in the ultimate payoff when some jock-looking dude, upon overhearing my friend describe his weekend plays, gave him a random hi-five and a knowing grin.
The end.
hikikomori
+0 -0
Especially given the actual definition of boff.
Especially given the actual definition of boff.
redmange
+1 -0
MY WORLD NO LONGER MAKES SENSEEEEEEE
MY WORLD NO LONGER MAKES SENSEEEEEEE
cbtbone
+1 -0
man how did you prolong the silent e in sense when you were shouting that is hell of impressive
man how did you prolong the silent e in sense when you were shouting that is hell of impressive
redmange
+0 -0
I'd share the secret with you, but sadly it only comes to me when I am making decisions about being high on cocaine.
I'd share the secret with you, but sadly it only comes to me when I am making decisions about being high on cocaine.
melatonin
+11 -0
Clearly a suicide note composed on the Shrovis-Bishopthorpe would be the most eloquent statement of intended death.
"Good heavens! It looks like you're writing a pop-your-clogs blog! Perchance I could dissuade you in some fashion, or at least ask you to consider the proper etiquette for one's own demise?"
Clearly a suicide note composed on the Shrovis-Bishopthorpe would be the most eloquent statement of intended death.
"Good heavens! It looks like you're writing a pop-your-clogs blog! Perchance I could dissuade you in some fashion, or at least ask you to consider the proper etiquette for one's own demise?"
usversusthem
+5 -0
Have you voided your bowels since last you dined?
Have you voided your bowels since last you dined?
hikikomori
+9 -0
Have you prepared all of your financial paperwork in such a way that someone opening a door would immediately come upon it, as it is hanging off of a wall or similar surface at direct eye-level?
Have you prepared all of your financial paperwork in such a way that someone opening a door would immediately come upon it, as it is hanging off of a wall or similar surface at direct eye-level?
paperboy_2000
+5 -0
10 PRINT "GOODBYE WORLD"
20 GOTO 10
30 END
10 PRINT "GOODBYE WORLD"
20 GOTO 10
30 END
echidnaboy
+3 -0
10 END
20 GOTO HELL
10 END
20 GOTO HELL
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
It's kind of embarassing I know nothing about programming language at all. I still chubby this format of joke though cause my mind has a rough grasp on it.
It's kind of embarassing I know nothing about programming language at all. I still chubby this format of joke though cause my mind has a rough grasp on it.
happy
+0 -0
PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WHY GEORGE BU$H IS INCUMBENT
PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WHY GEORGE BU$H IS INCUMBENT
iseedeadpixels
+1 -0
I'm irish.
I'm irish.
killerlimpet
+2 -0
10 LATHER
20 RINSE
30 GOTO 10
10 LATHER
20 RINSE
30 GOTO 10
nonamejoe
+2 -1
Mr Teal refers to The Publican as Keith. Now we find out The Boffin's name is Keith "Garrey" Renteal. And isn't Mr. Teal a wren? I can't be bothered to check back two strips, but it gets curiouser and curiouser.
This is why all MY computers come from... shucks... Pluto?
Mr Teal refers to The Publican as Keith. Now we find out The Boffin's name is Keith "Garrey" Renteal. And isn't Mr. Teal a wren? I can't be bothered to check back two strips, but it gets curiouser and curiouser.
This is why all MY computers come from... shucks... Pluto?
thorfinn
+0 -0
Mr. Teal is in fact a finch, but it appears that you are correct about them all being the same person.
Mr. Teal is in fact a finch, but it appears that you are correct about them all being the same person.
nonamejoe
+4 -0
Is "finch" an old English word for "wren"?
No.
Perhaps it is an olde English word for "the" or "mr"?
I can find no evidence of this. On the one site I looked.
However it IS an old DOS command for "rename". So... the Boffin's name could be read as
Publican's_First_Name "Boffin's_Nickname" AKA_Mr_Teal
Is "finch" an old English word for "wren"?
No.
Perhaps it is an olde English word for "the" or "mr"?
I can find no evidence of this. On the one site I looked.
However it IS an old DOS command for "rename". So... the Boffin's name could be read as
Publican's_First_Name "Boffin's_Nickname" AKA_Mr_Teal
nonamejoe
+0 -0
oops I mean "ren" is an old DOS command for rename. "finch" is an old DOS command for "steal the better company's technology" *twitter*
oops I mean "ren" is an old DOS command for rename. "finch" is an old DOS command for "steal the better company's technology" *twitter*
cromar
+0 -0
True finches belong to the family Fringillidae . The word derives from Old English finc ; related to Dutch vink and German Fink .
True finches belong to the family Fringillidae . The word derives from Old English finc ; related to Dutch vink and German Fink .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
learninated.
learninated.
thorfinn
+0 -0
learninating the countryside
learninating the peasants
learninating all the peoples
and their thatched roof COTTAGES!
learninating the countryside
learninating the peasants
learninating all the peoples
and their thatched roof COTTAGES!
sncether
+1 -0
ITINERANT SCHOL-DOR
ITINERANT SCHOL-DOR
tekende
+0 -0
I have no more chubbies, but I wanted to acknowledge that both of these comments are very funny.
I have no more chubbies, but I wanted to acknowledge that both of these comments are very funny.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I missed this comment when I made mine. Sorry.
I missed this comment when I made mine. Sorry.
atrusrand
+0 -0
Now I'm just completely confused. Onstad has done it again. Keeping me completely out of the blue when it comes to what's going to happen next.
Now I'm just completely confused. Onstad has done it again. Keeping me completely out of the blue when it comes to what's going to happen next.
atrusrand
+0 -0
But I just realized something. Keith's last name is RENTEAL. Figure it out.
But I just realized something. Keith's last name is RENTEAL. Figure it out.
rowboat
+0 -0
Congratulations on being the twentieth person on this board to figure that out.
Congratulations on being the twentieth person on this board to figure that out.
mjfitzge
+6 -0
so was it mr. teal's (aka the boffin's) plan all along to get into the remote virtual drive?
so that he could look at all the kiddie porn he wanted?
THAT FINCH MAKES ME SICK!
so was it mr. teal's (aka the boffin's) plan all along to get into the remote virtual drive?
so that he could look at all the kiddie porn he wanted?
THAT FINCH MAKES ME SICK!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Cornelius is about to enter a world where the only possible course of action is chugging convicts' hogs.
Cornelius is about to enter a world where the only possible course of action is chugging convicts' hogs.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And why does the name "Keith" sound familiar...?
And why does the name "Keith" sound familiar...?
mjfitzge
+0 -0
there was only one personality all along!
damn that shrovis-bishopthorpe!
there was only one personality all along!
damn that shrovis-bishopthorpe!
cmr
+0 -0
OMG HAX
OMG HAX
ricnine
+2 -0
Good lord, I think we've all been Boffined today!
Good lord, I think we've all been Boffined today!
stevepants
+0 -0
Just the way the "HA" ":)" "HA" is made me burst out laughing at work. Friggin classic. Also Ray's dialogue.
Just the way the "HA" ":)" "HA" is made me burst out laughing at work. Friggin classic. Also Ray's dialogue.
maximus
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Mr Boffin laughs last
[IMGS OFF]
Mr Boffin laughs last
invidious
+0 -0
A comment left by invidious was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, blastradius, GregChant, cyberia)
A comment left by invidious was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, blastradius, GregChant, cyberia)
dans
+21 -0
I think we need to start reading each other's comments, guys.
I think we need to start reading each other's comments, guys.
invidious
+1 -2
Yeah, go ahead and lame away.
However, when I opened this comic for the first time there were only like ten comments on the page. By the time I posted my comment, 28 other people had said the exact same thing.
Trying to post an original thought on this site can sometimes be like challenging The Flash to a hundred-yard dash. Dammit.
Yeah, go ahead and lame away.
However, when I opened this comic for the first time there were only like ten comments on the page. By the time I posted my comment, 28 other people had said the exact same thing.
Trying to post an original thought on this site can sometimes be like challenging The Flash to a hundred-yard dash. Dammit.
achilleselbow
+69 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
iseedeadpixels
+1 -0
I chubbied so hard I gave it two.
I chubbied so hard I gave it two.
pogo
+0 -0
Can't see the picture, elbow. Using Explorer. What's up, techies?
Can't see the picture, elbow. Using Explorer. What's up, techies?
avery86
+4 -0
You're using Explorer.
You're using Explorer.
numberkillinger
+8 -0
1. Use Firefox
2. The problem is unrelated, at least you are using Firefox now.
1. Use Firefox
2. The problem is unrelated, at least you are using Firefox now.
cbtbone
+0 -0
MUST...GO...DOWNLOAD...FIREFOX...
HYPNOTOAD...COMMANDS...IT...
MUST...GO...DOWNLOAD...FIREFOX...
HYPNOTOAD...COMMANDS...IT...
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Lick the toad! Lick the toad! Lick the toad!
Lick the toad! Lick the toad! Lick the toad!
dans
+2 -0
Sorry! I didn't mean to get all internet-asshole on you.
Sorry! I didn't mean to get all internet-asshole on you.
pogo
+1 -2
Now wait, if you truly had an original thought, there would be no one else with that thought. They very fact that you find your thought repeated several times should tell you that you are among a group of like-minded sheep who bleet the same shit predictably. Hardly original. Mid-bell-curve ordinary.
Now wait, if you truly had an original thought, there would be no one else with that thought. They very fact that you find your thought repeated several times should tell you that you are among a group of like-minded sheep who bleet the same shit predictably. Hardly original. Mid-bell-curve ordinary.
invidious
+1 -0
Amended reply: Damn it's hard being the first sheep to bleat on this site.
Amended reply: Damn it's hard being the first sheep to bleat on this site.
pogo
+0 -0
Why read when you can spew?
Why read when you can spew?
glyphtheory
+0 -0
I hope this time of incarceration has allowed Cornelius to mentally compose a scathingly eloquent letter to Shrovis-Bishopthorpe regarding the nature of their operating system and it's so-called assistants.
I hope this time of incarceration has allowed Cornelius to mentally compose a scathingly eloquent letter to Shrovis-Bishopthorpe regarding the nature of their operating system and it's so-called assistants.
iidebaser
+16 -0
oh man, remember when all computer viruses did was laugh at you? before they figured out how to steal your wallet? you were all "damn, optimus prime, I just wanted to play some fucking arkanoid."
oh man, remember when all computer viruses did was laugh at you? before they figured out how to steal your wallet? you were all "damn, optimus prime, I just wanted to play some fucking arkanoid."
theirateturk
+0 -0
I have not witnessed villainy of such epic proportions since the Da Vinci Code
I have not witnessed villainy of such epic proportions since the Da Vinci Code
scraggg
+6 -0
But this, at least, is entertaining.
But this, at least, is entertaining.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh nice. Virtual chubby.
Oh nice. Virtual chubby.
baryonyx
+2 -2
No so great a deception has been performed since the Book of Genesis.
No so great a deception has been performed since the Book of Genesis.
caddon
+0 -0
Mr. Teal and the Boffin have the exact same briefcase.
Mr. Teal and the Boffin have the exact same briefcase.
gouldgonewild
+0 -1
keith
keith
mjfitzge
+0 -0
anyone else notice that a disproportionately large number of the really awesome achewood's happen when it's nighttime?
even though the strips are completely unrelated, it reminds me beef jumping off the bridge and floating down the river.
sigh.
anyone else notice that a disproportionately large number of the really awesome achewood's happen when it's nighttime?
even though the strips are completely unrelated, it reminds me beef jumping off the bridge and floating down the river.
sigh.
synapse
+1 -0
"Finger trace". This is what Ray does when he's drunk.
"Finger trace". This is what Ray does when he's drunk.
ih8jonmayr
+0 -0
chubby for the Muse avatar.
chubby for the Muse avatar.
tekende
+0 -0
But ih8jonmayr, they're silly! It is silly to like Muse!
But ih8jonmayr, they're silly! It is silly to like Muse!
ford
+1 -0
Goddammit i kept my mouth shut when you fuckers messed with the cure (because i hate them), but Muse is a solid band with a good, fairly intricate sound, and having had a couple of their more poppy, inane ditties on mtv a few times is no reason to be a dick.
Goddammit i kept my mouth shut when you fuckers messed with the cure (because i hate them), but Muse is a solid band with a good, fairly intricate sound, and having had a couple of their more poppy, inane ditties on mtv a few times is no reason to be a dick.
ford
+0 -0
(No real anger intended, i just get pissed off when anything any group of people likes is deemed idiotic by otherwise-smart, non-douchetastic people here)
(No real anger intended, i just get pissed off when anything any group of people likes is deemed idiotic by otherwise-smart, non-douchetastic people here)
stop
+2 -0
You, too, can get trashed at Sergeant Bill's. Just call (900)523-2923 next Friday night.
You, too, can get trashed at Sergeant Bill's. Just call (900)523-2923 next Friday night.
speccer
+0 -0
It'll be a night you won't forget! Unless you do.
It'll be a night you won't forget! Unless you do.
baryonyx
+0 -0
I have to say, this is the first arc in a long time to end up somewhere much different from where it began. I think that's what separates the real arcs in the archive from the little bursts of half-formed storylines Onstad has been putting out in the more recent past.
I have to say, this is the first arc in a long time to end up somewhere much different from where it began. I think that's what separates the real arcs in the archive from the little bursts of half-formed storylines Onstad has been putting out in the more recent past.
loneal
+0 -0
I hope this experience does not come between Cornelius and Beef.
I hope this experience does not come between Cornelius and Beef.
tekende
+0 -0
Whoa, what if...what if Beef is the Boffin?
Whoa, what if...what if Beef is the Boffin?
mjfitzge
+0 -0
interesting.
first, i wonder if anyone is the boffin/publican/finch. it could just be a schizophrenic computer, and that's that.
if there is charactorial personification of the shrovis-bishopthorpe, i think that nolan and beef are likely suspects.
nolan, because he was after the porn. (and also because him giving the police a tip on his whereabouts as a piece of his plan would be fucking awesome.) also, he most likely has the computer know-how to pull this off from being on the computer all day reading his fetish newsgroups.
beef, because he seems like he probably likes to hack stuff. and also because none of us have any clue what he's been up to through all of this. although i have no idea what his motive might be.
i suppose nice pete and lie bot could also be suspects, due to their proclivity for nefarious deeds.
needless to say, i am excited for tomorrow. and i think this is the best arc in a long time.
interesting.
first, i wonder if anyone is the boffin/publican/finch. it could just be a schizophrenic computer, and that's that.
if there is charactorial personification of the shrovis-bishopthorpe, i think that nolan and beef are likely suspects.
nolan, because he was after the porn. (and also because him giving the police a tip on his whereabouts as a piece of his plan would be fucking awesome.) also, he most likely has the computer know-how to pull this off from being on the computer all day reading his fetish newsgroups.
beef, because he seems like he probably likes to hack stuff. and also because none of us have any clue what he's been up to through all of this. although i have no idea what his motive might be.
i suppose nice pete and lie bot could also be suspects, due to their proclivity for nefarious deeds.
needless to say, i am excited for tomorrow. and i think this is the best arc in a long time.
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
What porn? The FBI only thought there was porn on the disk; there wasn't. There is no porn in this scenario.
Quote:
nolan, because he was after the porn.
What porn? The FBI only thought there was porn on the disk; there wasn't. There is no porn in this scenario.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
let me preface what i am about to say with this - i know nothing about hacking.
what i meant (and did not say very clearly) was that perhaps the result of this hack is that by inserting the disk into the FBIs remote virtual drive, the hacker could have access to all of the secretly stored away kiddie porn. that is where they keep the evidence of past kiddie porn peddlers, right?
even if this is not possible, i think we should all be able to suspend our disbelief and say it is.
let me preface what i am about to say with this - i know nothing about hacking.
what i meant (and did not say very clearly) was that perhaps the result of this hack is that by inserting the disk into the FBIs remote virtual drive, the hacker could have access to all of the secretly stored away kiddie porn. that is where they keep the evidence of past kiddie porn peddlers, right?
even if this is not possible, i think we should all be able to suspend our disbelief and say it is.
blastradius
+0 -0
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, rowboat, HSE, loneal, stop, AlbinoSquid, achilleselbow, iidebaser, Doc_Rostov, lastlarf, botch)
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, rowboat, HSE, loneal, stop, AlbinoSquid, achilleselbow, iidebaser, Doc_Rostov, lastlarf, botch)
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Except they seem to be putting the software on the FBI's secret virtual porn computer. Maybe that's where they keep all the porn? That would be why it's so hard to find porno these days.
Except they seem to be putting the software on the FBI's secret virtual porn computer. Maybe that's where they keep all the porn? That would be why it's so hard to find porno these days.
tekende
+0 -0
Okay yes you're right I understand now sheesh.
Okay yes you're right I understand now sheesh.
tekende
+3 -0
Er, that reply was for all three of you, not just flazisismuss. But I have a special raised middle finger for blastradius.
Er, that reply was for all three of you, not just flazisismuss. But I have a special raised middle finger for blastradius.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
let it be noted i was just replying in a conversational manner to a question raised about my own post.
therefore i demand the sheesh be retracted, or at least pointed in the proper direction (away from me).
let it be noted i was just replying in a conversational manner to a question raised about my own post.
therefore i demand the sheesh be retracted, or at least pointed in the proper direction (away from me).
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Don't worry about him, he's just lashing out because he's still mad about his kiddie porn being confiscated.
Don't worry about him, he's just lashing out because he's still mad about his kiddie porn being confiscated.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
I assumed tekende was saying that the porn was a red herring for something more interesting, or less icky at any rate. In other words, he assumed that the assertion that Nolan was involved must have been untrue, since Ray took care of that loathsome person. So chubbied for the faith in Ray you have displayed.
I assumed tekende was saying that the porn was a red herring for something more interesting, or less icky at any rate. In other words, he assumed that the assertion that Nolan was involved must have been untrue, since Ray took care of that loathsome person. So chubbied for the faith in Ray you have displayed.
ih8jonmayr
+0 -1
Not really a reply, but I have a question. Was Nolan the child molester who talked with Philippe when he ran the Potty Pals service? Or am I just smashed from Sgt. Bill's.
Not really a reply, but I have a question. Was Nolan the child molester who talked with Philippe when he ran the Potty Pals service? Or am I just smashed from Sgt. Bill's.
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, he was, and yes, you are.
Yes, he was, and yes, you are.
odei
+0 -0
Quote:
I have to say, looking at porn and talking about sex does not, unfortunately, teach you anything about computers or coding. It does reveal a lot of horrible things about humanity though.
Quote:
he most likely has the computer know-how to pull this off from being on the computer all day reading his fetish newsgroups.
I have to say, looking at porn and talking about sex does not, unfortunately, teach you anything about computers or coding. It does reveal a lot of horrible things about humanity though.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
true. in fact internet porn addicts may have even more trouble being computer savvy. every time you get on the computer to learn some thing you're all "oh, i'll just look at a little porn first."
true. in fact internet porn addicts may have even more trouble being computer savvy. every time you get on the computer to learn some thing you're all "oh, i'll just look at a little porn first."
cleave
+1 -0
Actually because of my crippling internet pornography addiction I have developed preternatural skill in avoiding any virus or pop-up that these sites shoot at me.
Also I have mastered reformatting my hard drive.
Thanks porn!
Actually because of my crippling internet pornography addiction I have developed preternatural skill in avoiding any virus or pop-up that these sites shoot at me.
Also I have mastered reformatting my hard drive.
Thanks porn!
anabanananana
+1 -0
Perhaps the ultimate goal of Nolan, if he is indeed the culprit, is not to steal all of the kiddie porn but to get as many people as possible out of the house, leaving Philippe unattended.
Perhaps the ultimate goal of Nolan, if he is indeed the culprit, is not to steal all of the kiddie porn but to get as many people as possible out of the house, leaving Philippe unattended.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
for uninhibited buggering..!
daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
for uninhibited buggering..!
daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
theirateturk
+0 -0
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, gladi8orrex, orvel, blastradius, storableprawn, jollysaintpete, opprobrium, mrblank91, pogo)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, gladi8orrex, orvel, blastradius, storableprawn, jollysaintpete, opprobrium, mrblank91, pogo)
maximus
+0 -0
(cue flushing sound)
//I do understand, mate. Bad form to put it in writing, though.
(cue flushing sound)
//I do understand, mate. Bad form to put it in writing, though.
dapooka
+0 -0
Especially when someone catches Turk posting here again. My predtiction: This will happen.
Especially when someone catches Turk posting here again. My predtiction: This will happen.
dapooka
+0 -0
Wow. I'm starting to type like Lyle and I'm still at work!
Wow. I'm starting to type like Lyle and I'm still at work!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Man, if people lame this, it'll be like pissing on his grave.
Man, if people lame this, it'll be like pissing on his grave.
rude_mechanical
+1 -0
In my country, that's _expected_ behaviour.
In my country, that's _expected_ behaviour.
tekende
+4 -0
What country is that? Eur-a-peein'?
What country is that? Eur-a-peein'?
pogo
+0 -0
Pee-oria?
Pee-oria?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[Brick Tamland]...the..Toilet....store?[/Brick Tamland]
[Brick Tamland]...the..Toilet....store?[/Brick Tamland]
farqussus
+0 -0
The idea is to make the semi obscure pop reference and see if anyone gets it. You can't just hand these things over on a platter.
The idea is to make the semi obscure pop reference and see if anyone gets it. You can't just hand these things over on a platter.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you are right. i was laying it on rather thick.
i will remember this next time i make such a reference.
so, uh...a snake rode a motorcycle seven miles once...
you are right. i was laying it on rather thick.
i will remember this next time i make such a reference.
so, uh...a snake rode a motorcycle seven miles once...
the_voice
+0 -0
Oh, terrible!
Oh, terrible!
catgrl131
+2 -0
Well, looks like he's quite irate , amirite?
Well, looks like he's quite irate , amirite?
blastradius
+0 -1
he's just mad he didn't get the first post.
he's just mad he didn't get the first post.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
A comment left by heccibiggs was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jollysaintpete, arborwin, Doc_Rostov, colorlessness)
A comment left by heccibiggs was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jollysaintpete, arborwin, Doc_Rostov, colorlessness)
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
A comment left by jollysaintpete was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, invidious, rowboat, quaga, loneal, ih8jonmayr, BlueLoggy, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by jollysaintpete was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, invidious, rowboat, quaga, loneal, ih8jonmayr, BlueLoggy, I_Love_Kate)
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I find that "I don't mean that in a snide, bitchy way" usually means "I know that sounded snide and bitchy, but I'm sticking with it anyhow."
Or at least that's what it means when I say it.
I find that "I don't mean that in a snide, bitchy way" usually means "I know that sounded snide and bitchy, but I'm sticking with it anyhow."
Or at least that's what it means when I say it.
norrin
+1 -0
My favorite "I don't mean to be/sound X" is "racist."
I don't mean to be racist but I hate you for your skin color and nothing else.
My favorite "I don't mean to be/sound X" is "racist."
I don't mean to be racist but I hate you for your skin color and nothing else.
theirateturk
+0 -0
IM TAKING OFF YOUR PANTIS ( )( )ZZZZZZZZZZZZD~~
IM TAKING OFF YOUR PANTIS ( )( )ZZZZZZZZZZZZD~~
theirateturk
+0 -0
lmao now i understand what jay-z meant by the gift and the curse
lmao now i understand what jay-z meant by the gift and the curse
theirateturk
+0 -0
WAIT: this (joke?) only works if your browser resolution settings are very messed up.
Hmm I deliberated whether to add a third post to an unready unnecessary second post but looks like I've reached that decision
WAIT: this (joke?) only works if your browser resolution settings are very messed up.
Hmm I deliberated whether to add a third post to an unready unnecessary second post but looks like I've reached that decision
rowboat
+0 -0
Less than a year after all this, theguitarhero would turn the "goodbye forever" post into an art form. I mean, a terrible art form, but an art form nonetheless.
Less than a year after all this, theguitarhero would turn the "goodbye forever" post into an art form. I mean, a terrible art form, but an art form nonetheless.
numberkillinger
+3 -0
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions theirateturk, the highs, the lows, the intermediates. Truly your 19 posts have integrated you into the community more than I thought possible, you will be sorely missed. Every time I achieve minor celebrity, I will think of you.
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions theirateturk, the highs, the lows, the intermediates. Truly your 19 posts have integrated you into the community more than I thought possible, you will be sorely missed. Every time I achieve minor celebrity, I will think of you.
doc_rostov
+1 -0
Jesus Christ, people. If you can't get the sarcasm in that post, you shouldn't be reading Achewood in the first place. That post was as amusing as the usual Manflesh. That is, absurdist self-referential tripe. But it's amusing tripe. It'd be nice if we all could stop taking this whole place so seriously every once in a while. If we continue on our PATH TO DESTRUCTION, I fear I will soon be forced to inquire of you a serious, sober question.
WHAT HAVE WE HAVE BECOME?
Jesus Christ, people. If you can't get the sarcasm in that post, you shouldn't be reading Achewood in the first place. That post was as amusing as the usual Manflesh. That is, absurdist self-referential tripe. But it's amusing tripe. It'd be nice if we all could stop taking this whole place so seriously every once in a while. If we continue on our PATH TO DESTRUCTION, I fear I will soon be forced to inquire of you a serious, sober question.
WHAT HAVE WE HAVE BECOME?
numberkillinger
+0 -0
Notice:
a) The chubby/lame ratio for his post.
b) The series of sarcastic responses.
I'm pretty sure everyone is just having a fine old time with amusing tripe. Stop taking this place so seriously.
Notice:
a) The chubby/lame ratio for his post.
b) The series of sarcastic responses.
I'm pretty sure everyone is just having a fine old time with amusing tripe. Stop taking this place so seriously.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's funny how there's no way to point out that people are taking things too seriously without being guilty of the same thing.
Actually, it's not funny at all.
It's funny how there's no way to point out that people are taking things too seriously without being guilty of the same thing.
Actually, it's not funny at all.
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
NO
doc_rostov
+0 -0
Don't know, man. You obviously were being sarcastic, but I gotta say. Some of those comments seemed absolutely serious. Some of them. And goodness knows that it's quite serious a business to criticize other people for being overly serious. In fact, it invokes a certain 'serious' manner best suited for response to those who take things so seriously as to appear to be a prick. It is obvious, though, that the serious demeanor utilized by the person is unwarranted in and of itself and is criticized in the post in a self-referential cycle of blithely obvious inanity, leading to a veritable Möbius strip of humor.
Or did I just BLOW YOUR MIND ?
Oh, I didn't?
Okay, well. That's awkward. Nice avatar anyway!
Don't know, man. You obviously were being sarcastic, but I gotta say. Some of those comments seemed absolutely serious. Some of them. And goodness knows that it's quite serious a business to criticize other people for being overly serious. In fact, it invokes a certain 'serious' manner best suited for response to those who take things so seriously as to appear to be a prick. It is obvious, though, that the serious demeanor utilized by the person is unwarranted in and of itself and is criticized in the post in a self-referential cycle of blithely obvious inanity, leading to a veritable Möbius strip of humor.
Or did I just BLOW YOUR MIND ?
Oh, I didn't?
Okay, well. That's awkward. Nice avatar anyway!
diggidy
+2 -0
You'll be back.
You'll ALL be back.
You can't live without the sweet, sweet chubbies. You're like animals, constantly chasing the high, never getting enough.
Oh, sure, you'll try to stop. You might last a few hours, a day, a week, a month. Maybe it'll be years from now. You'll have a wife and kids. Perhaps an old girlfriend, who came back to you once she realized you'd truly broken the addiction.
But it never really ends. You'll find yourself thinking wistfully about "The good old days", when your verbal antics were the delight of the acheworld.
You'll think longingly of the nights you used to spend lovingly composing every paragraph, every sentence. You'll scroll through the archives, reliving the carefree devil-may-cry days of your youth.
And you'll post. Oh God, how you'll post.
I'll be there to see it too, as your new life falls to shambles. I'll be there, watching. I'll be there.
Because I have nothing better to do.
You'll be back.
You'll ALL be back.
You can't live without the sweet, sweet chubbies. You're like animals, constantly chasing the high, never getting enough.
Oh, sure, you'll try to stop. You might last a few hours, a day, a week, a month. Maybe it'll be years from now. You'll have a wife and kids. Perhaps an old girlfriend, who came back to you once she realized you'd truly broken the addiction.
But it never really ends. You'll find yourself thinking wistfully about "The good old days", when your verbal antics were the delight of the acheworld.
You'll think longingly of the nights you used to spend lovingly composing every paragraph, every sentence. You'll scroll through the archives, reliving the carefree devil-may-cry days of your youth.
And you'll post. Oh God, how you'll post.
I'll be there to see it too, as your new life falls to shambles. I'll be there, watching. I'll be there.
Because I have nothing better to do.
pogo
+0 -0
Well hot-diggidy, you've got the BB addiction down, boy. Too bad I'm out of chubs. Maybe some passer-by will drop on on ya.
And it's not that we have nothing better to do, this is actual commuinication going on here, not pornification. We are exercising our minds, our wits, and our writing skills. That can't be bad, even if the level of discourse dips into the shitter once in a while.
Well hot-diggidy, you've got the BB addiction down, boy. Too bad I'm out of chubs. Maybe some passer-by will drop on on ya.
And it's not that we have nothing better to do, this is actual commuinication going on here, not pornification. We are exercising our minds, our wits, and our writing skills. That can't be bad, even if the level of discourse dips into the shitter once in a while.
theirateturk
+0 -0
IT'S LIKE THERE'S A PARTY IN MY MOUTH, AND CHUBBIES ARE THE CURRENCY
IT'S LIKE THERE'S A PARTY IN MY MOUTH, AND CHUBBIES ARE THE CURRENCY
drskradley
+0 -0
But trying to be witty and achieving minor celebrity is entertaining. It's like playing a video game. Some peeps got Xboxes, some peeps got this. It's fun time-wasting, inanycase.
If you are being serious with your criticising of what we do here, you must criticise not just the entirety of the Internet (which ain't freaking difficult), but also the entire entertainment industry.
And by so doing, and to avoid utter asscock hypocrisy, you must separate yourself from it completely. Either be completely efficient and useful in all you do (which would be awesome! ), or just enjoy it and stop yer bitchin'.
That's if you're being serious. If not....eeeeeeehhhhhh I dunno. I get it, but kinda criticise the workmanship.
But trying to be witty and achieving minor celebrity is entertaining. It's like playing a video game. Some peeps got Xboxes, some peeps got this. It's fun time-wasting, inanycase.
If you are being serious with your criticising of what we do here, you must criticise not just the entirety of the Internet (which ain't freaking difficult), but also the entire entertainment industry.
And by so doing, and to avoid utter asscock hypocrisy, you must separate yourself from it completely. Either be completely efficient and useful in all you do (which would be awesome! ), or just enjoy it and stop yer bitchin'.
That's if you're being serious. If not....eeeeeeehhhhhh I dunno. I get it, but kinda criticise the workmanship.
drskradley
+0 -0
Wait, I'm an asshole. I just read that post of yours all the way from top to bottom now. Hilarious! We cool, man, we cool.
Wait, I'm an asshole. I just read that post of yours all the way from top to bottom now. Hilarious! We cool, man, we cool.
kendieatsbabies
+0 -0
The real mystery in the hacker's name is the "Garrey" bit. Does he have any relation to this Gary?
The real mystery in the hacker's name is the "Garrey" bit. Does he have any relation to this Gary?
atrusrand
+0 -0
Highly doubtful.
Highly doubtful.
boredom_man
+2 -0
Somewhere, Nicholas Cage is singing "So Happy Together" to himself while Charlie Kaufman cackles.
Somewhere, Nicholas Cage is singing "So Happy Together" to himself while Charlie Kaufman cackles.
phy
+9 -0
And I am at the bead shop.
And I am at the bead shop.
echidnaboy
+0 -1
And I am about to suggest that my friend tuck his genitals into a toilet paper tube
And I am about to suggest that my friend tuck his genitals into a toilet paper tube
mo_rose
+1 -0
how did connie get hacked without the internet key? a begrudged shrovis-bishopthorpe employee could be the culprit or the tried and tested disgruntled postman?
how did connie get hacked without the internet key? a begrudged shrovis-bishopthorpe employee could be the culprit or the tried and tested disgruntled postman?
aperson
+0 -0
Keith specialises in social engineering and Very Low Res art.
Keith specialises in social engineering and Very Low Res art.
geordie
+0 -0
Connie needs just two minutes back at hi scar, working the tequila optic, then that pig-cat has a whole new problem on his hands
Connie needs just two minutes back at hi scar, working the tequila optic, then that pig-cat has a whole new problem on his hands
plummet
+0 -0
why is it that people always assume hackers will leave a grinning, baneful skull on their desktop after the deed is done?
this rather confuses me
why is it that people always assume hackers will leave a grinning, baneful skull on their desktop after the deed is done?
this rather confuses me
landstander88
+1 -0
Well, that's what they did to me after stealing all my internets and making my hard drive explode.
Well, that's what they did to me after stealing all my internets and making my hard drive explode.
plummet
+25 -0
[IMGS OFF]
woops
[IMGS OFF]
woops
aperson
+3 -0
Oh man... animated T-shirts would be a good technology.
Oh man... animated T-shirts would be a good technology.
lonis
+6 -0
No, they would be terrible. Would you want to see everyone wearing the internet? Everyone would be walking around with flashing Sean John ads and retarded sparkly myspace images. That shit belongs trapped in computers, tucked away from the real world.
No, they would be terrible. Would you want to see everyone wearing the internet? Everyone would be walking around with flashing Sean John ads and retarded sparkly myspace images. That shit belongs trapped in computers, tucked away from the real world.
boredom_man
+0 -0
It would only be terrible if you consider Western Civilization worth saving. Personally, I want to manufacture t-shirts that play a selected (yet overpopular) theme song every time the wearer enters a room. Nukes are for pussies.
It would only be terrible if you consider Western Civilization worth saving. Personally, I want to manufacture t-shirts that play a selected (yet overpopular) theme song every time the wearer enters a room. Nukes are for pussies.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
And for you I provide:
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/a5bf/
And for you I provide:
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/a5bf/
boredom_man
+0 -0
Thank you. Relief floods every bitter fiber of my being. And for you, a stock tip: there will be no more stocks.
Thank you. Relief floods every bitter fiber of my being. And for you, a stock tip: there will be no more stocks.
dumase
+0 -0
You are wrong.
You are wrong.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Imagine the famous dancing baby animation. Recall how ubiquitous that was during the first 2 or 3 years of the mainstreaming of the internet. I can see something that hideous being plastered on every idiot's chest in America. I do not want to see such a day.
Imagine the famous dancing baby animation. Recall how ubiquitous that was during the first 2 or 3 years of the mainstreaming of the internet. I can see something that hideous being plastered on every idiot's chest in America. I do not want to see such a day.
hikikomori
+0 -0
Jesus. It even already has "Tina" on it.
Jesus. It even already has "Tina" on it.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/991e/
Everyone wearing the internet...
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/991e/
Everyone wearing the internet...
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Also:
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/8a5b/
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/a090/
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/8e31/
Also:
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/8a5b/
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/a090/
https://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/8e31/
baryonyx
+0 -0
And mind you, Lonis is an expert in the field of irregular inventions.
And mind you, Lonis is an expert in the field of irregular inventions.
elzilcho
+0 -0
Or worse... if I know the internet, you'd get some dude with a video of a cute little kitty playing with some string and you'd be all "Aww! Cute little kitty playing with-" GOATSE "AHH FUCK GODDAMMIT MY EYES"
Or worse... if I know the internet, you'd get some dude with a video of a cute little kitty playing with some string and you'd be all "Aww! Cute little kitty playing with-" GOATSE "AHH FUCK GODDAMMIT MY EYES"
tekende
+0 -0
This is a fantastic idea.
This is a fantastic idea.
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
Man, there was a whoops back there and you didnt even notice it.
Man, there was a whoops back there and you didnt even notice it.
tekende
+0 -0
Huh? Oh, whoops!
Huh? Oh, whoops!
numberkillinger
+1 -0
presumably this assumption is based on the fact that most people not of the internet, if granted 1337 hacking skills (am i saying that right? 1337?), would definately leave a grinning skull. I sure as hell would.
presumably this assumption is based on the fact that most people not of the internet, if granted 1337 hacking skills (am i saying that right? 1337?), would definately leave a grinning skull. I sure as hell would.
geordie
+0 -0
His car. Not hi scar. Tougher than it looks, this.
His car. Not hi scar. Tougher than it looks, this.
numberkillinger
+1 -0
'Garrey' must have really done his research into the classics in order to fool Cornelius.
Also: Teodor's first panel of dialogue essentially describes what I have thinking all day. (minus spreading)
'Garrey' must have really done his research into the classics in order to fool Cornelius.
Also: Teodor's first panel of dialogue essentially describes what I have thinking all day. (minus spreading)
lastlarf
+0 -0
It sounds like you have had a weird day. I have had those kind of days. Deeply unsettling.
It sounds like you have had a weird day. I have had those kind of days. Deeply unsettling.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
I knew that The Boffin was going to end up playing a crucial role in this little theatre of the unnatural.
I knew that The Boffin was going to end up playing a crucial role in this little theatre of the unnatural.
skoora
+0 -0
I KNEW that fucking boffin was up to something. Sleeping indeed.
I KNEW that fucking boffin was up to something. Sleeping indeed.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Meanwhile, in Australia, Nolan strikes again!
https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7348339.stm
Meanwhile, in Australia, Nolan strikes again!
https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7348339.stm
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
I would click on that but I really dont want to.
I would click on that but I really dont want to.
earendil
+0 -0
do, do click on it. It's both relevant and hilarious.
do, do click on it. It's both relevant and hilarious.
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
Oh yes, thank you Mike Gravel. I was just a bit worried that i would be clicking on a story about a pedarist.
Oh yes, thank you Mike Gravel. I was just a bit worried that i would be clicking on a story about a pedarist.
farqussus
+2 -0
Mike Gravel? Who is that dude? He looks like Gary Busey's dad.
Mike Gravel? Who is that dude? He looks like Gary Busey's dad.
scraggg
+0 -0
A candidate for President of the United States and a possible fan of Andy Warhol's films.
A candidate for President of the United States and a possible fan of Andy Warhol's films.
farqussus
+0 -0
While I don't know exactly why that might be true, I can imagine.
So this is a guy people could vote for in good conscience?
While I don't know exactly why that might be true, I can imagine.
So this is a guy people could vote for in good conscience?
dapooka
+0 -0
I'm reasonably sure he's dropped out by now, as you never hear anything about him.
Of course about all you heard about him before always directed you to the video above.
I'm reasonably sure he's dropped out by now, as you never hear anything about him.
Of course about all you heard about him before always directed you to the video above.
earendil
+0 -0
Actually, he joined the Libertarian Party so that he could stay in the race right up to the election, instead of having to withdraw after the democratic convention.
Actually, he joined the Libertarian Party so that he could stay in the race right up to the election, instead of having to withdraw after the democratic convention.
tekende
+0 -0
What, is he just staying in the race for fun then?
What, is he just staying in the race for fun then?
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Once upon a time he was a serious statesman of some repute. His quest for the democratic nomination, though quixotic, was amusing, and it did serve to illustrate certain uncomftorable truths about our political system, which puts him one up on McCain, at least.
Once upon a time he was a serious statesman of some repute. His quest for the democratic nomination, though quixotic, was amusing, and it did serve to illustrate certain uncomftorable truths about our political system, which puts him one up on McCain, at least.
farqussus
+0 -0
Having McCain as the Republican nomination illustrates many uncomfortable truths about your political system.
Having McCain as the Republican nomination illustrates many uncomfortable truths about your political system.
maximus
+1 -0
Oh no you don't - there's too much of that crap on the intarwebs already
Oh no you don't - there's too much of that crap on the intarwebs already
cromar
+0 -2
Your face illustrates may uncomfortable truths about your mother's use of crack and pcp while you were in womb XD
Your face illustrates may uncomfortable truths about your mother's use of crack and pcp while you were in womb XD
farqussus
+0 -0
that's pretty funny actually.
that's pretty funny actually.
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
"system?" that's stretching it. American Idol is more of a system than this mess.
"system?" that's stretching it. American Idol is more of a system than this mess.
tekende
+0 -0
Ha, awesome.
Ha, awesome.
boscostacy
+0 -0
That would be South Side Nolan.
That would be South Side Nolan.
tommythebrat
+1 -0
This comic much like when I saw the Vagina Monologues, I went in expecting answers but all it did was raise further questions.
This comic much like when I saw the Vagina Monologues, I went in expecting answers but all it did was raise further questions.
achilleselbow
+9 -0
I went in expecting girls to draw little faces on their vaginas and make them talk like a sideways mouth. I was disappointed.
I went in expecting girls to draw little faces on their vaginas and make them talk like a sideways mouth. I was disappointed.
boredom_man
+0 -0
Clearly you didn't see Glenn Close's rendition.
Clearly you didn't see Glenn Close's rendition.
numberkillinger
+1 -0
man, I read that as "I went in expecting little girls to draw faces on their vaginas and make them talk like a sideways mouth." It freaked me out. Is this a problem with my eyes or my brain?
man, I read that as "I went in expecting little girls to draw faces on their vaginas and make them talk like a sideways mouth." It freaked me out. Is this a problem with my eyes or my brain?
blueloggy
+0 -0
I read it the same way and was going to make a similar comment! It ain't just you.
I read it the same way and was going to make a similar comment! It ain't just you.
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
ditto. i had to do a double take. it is a brain problem but maybe just a problem in low-level neural-visual-linguistic pattern recognition processing, instead of being a high-level-pedophile-pervert-cognitive dysfunction. maybe.
ditto. i had to do a double take. it is a brain problem but maybe just a problem in low-level neural-visual-linguistic pattern recognition processing, instead of being a high-level-pedophile-pervert-cognitive dysfunction. maybe.
ih8jonmayr
+0 -0
haha same. Well, back to my Shrovis...
haha same. Well, back to my Shrovis...
mo_rose
+0 -0
i read it the way it was written and am now thinking you're all a little bit nolan.
i read it the way it was written and am now thinking you're all a little bit nolan.
dusty
+0 -0
For the grand finale 7 of them would reenact the episode of M.A.S.H. where Colonel Henry Blake is sent home and subsequently shot down over the Sea of Japan. White thongs are used for surgical masks, I don't think I have to tell you how the tears are accomplished.
For the grand finale 7 of them would reenact the episode of M.A.S.H. where Colonel Henry Blake is sent home and subsequently shot down over the Sea of Japan. White thongs are used for surgical masks, I don't think I have to tell you how the tears are accomplished.
zeltaen
+1 -0
REEENNNNTEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLL!
REEENNNNTEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLL!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I cannot describe the level of joy I experienced upon reading "Oh, terrible! "
I cannot describe the level of joy I experienced upon reading "Oh, terrible! "
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Can you draw a picture or do an interpretative dance?
Can you draw a picture or do an interpretative dance?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
It's too late right now and I'm very tired, but I'll get back to you on this.
It's too late right now and I'm very tired, but I'll get back to you on this.
linning
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
edwell
+24 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
drskradley
+0 -0
OH HELL YES
OH HELL YES
irondave
+0 -0
She stopped momentarily when I chubbied her. I think there's a lesson in that.
She stopped momentarily when I chubbied her. I think there's a lesson in that.
odei
+0 -0
I'll leave her dancing for a while, so she earns it.
I'll leave her dancing for a while, so she earns it.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
That's it! Thank you! Chubchubchub.
That's it! Thank you! Chubchubchub.
tetsujin
+1 -0
How did Teodor get in to Cornelius's laptop? He doesn't know the password!
How did Teodor get in to Cornelius's laptop? He doesn't know the password!
nicolae
+1 -0
Clickin' a titmouse isn't exactly hacking into the Pentagon...so I've heard.
Clickin' a titmouse isn't exactly hacking into the Pentagon...so I've heard.
ihmgard
+0 -0
*Gasp*!
*Gasp*!
kelissamunz
+0 -0
Probably off eating the Tesco pizza. It's not as good as Sainsbury's, but honestly--who would waste it when the Publican is clearly distracted.
Probably off eating the Tesco pizza. It's not as good as Sainsbury's, but honestly--who would waste it when the Publican is clearly distracted.
loneal
+0 -0
I am studying in England and have just learned the difference between Sainsbury's and Tesco, and your post is extremely exciting to me. The Sainsbury's and Tesco are almost exactly equidistant from where I'm staying, and I have to make a difficult decision every time I go shopping. Now I know what to do about pizza.
Pizza tangent: Pizza Hut is a middle-of-the-road sit-down restaurant here! What the fuck!
I am studying in England and have just learned the difference between Sainsbury's and Tesco, and your post is extremely exciting to me. The Sainsbury's and Tesco are almost exactly equidistant from where I'm staying, and I have to make a difficult decision every time I go shopping. Now I know what to do about pizza.
Pizza tangent: Pizza Hut is a middle-of-the-road sit-down restaurant here! What the fuck!
kelissamunz
+0 -0
True story: eat the damn Sainsbury's steamable dinners. Best idea ever. You get an entire dinner with absolutely no effort, and it doesn't suck like regular TV dinners. I'm partial to the chicken alfredo with broccoli myself.
Don't waste your time in M&S groceries, either. Do, however, go clothes shopping in the big store on Oxford Street. For some reason they charge ridiculous prices on food, but their clothing is reasonable.
Oh, and as for American restaurants: Burger King and McDonald's are unremarkable except for the bizarre "American" decor. Apparently they think we're all about ZZ Top and old pickup trucks. Avoid American Fried Chicken like the sketchy place it is.
Learn much from your time abroad. I know I did.
True story: eat the damn Sainsbury's steamable dinners. Best idea ever. You get an entire dinner with absolutely no effort, and it doesn't suck like regular TV dinners. I'm partial to the chicken alfredo with broccoli myself.
Don't waste your time in M&S groceries, either. Do, however, go clothes shopping in the big store on Oxford Street. For some reason they charge ridiculous prices on food, but their clothing is reasonable.
Oh, and as for American restaurants: Burger King and McDonald's are unremarkable except for the bizarre "American" decor. Apparently they think we're all about ZZ Top and old pickup trucks. Avoid American Fried Chicken like the sketchy place it is.
Learn much from your time abroad. I know I did.
tekende
+0 -0
There's a store that sells both clothing and food??
There's a store that sells both clothing and food??
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Wal Mart.
Wal Mart.
tekende
+0 -0
...Oh.
Yeah.
I...I feel kinda stupid now.
...Oh.
Yeah.
I...I feel kinda stupid now.
irondave
+0 -0
and Target and Meijer's. Harrod's, of course. It's a big world out there. I don't know if any of them are in Oxford, UK, but there must be some equivalent.
and Target and Meijer's. Harrod's, of course. It's a big world out there. I don't know if any of them are in Oxford, UK, but there must be some equivalent.
tekende
+0 -0
I guess I was picturing, like, a regular grocery store, and then in the aisle behind the box dinners and canned goods, hey, there's a sale on jeans.
I guess I was picturing, like, a regular grocery store, and then in the aisle behind the box dinners and canned goods, hey, there's a sale on jeans.
lastlarf
+1 -0
Actually that describes a basic trip to Tesco.
Actually that describes a basic trip to Tesco.
farqussus
+0 -0
basically every grocery store in England. Except Iceland?
basically every grocery store in England. Except Iceland?
kelissamunz
+0 -0
It's okay; the concept blows my mind too. Only it would be like if Wal-Mart had CLOTHING ONLY stores and then grocery stores, and they were about as numerous as Starbucks locations. Which is another problem in London.
It's okay; the concept blows my mind too. Only it would be like if Wal-Mart had CLOTHING ONLY stores and then grocery stores, and they were about as numerous as Starbucks locations. Which is another problem in London.
bixschmix
+0 -0
There's a store in Pittsburgh that sells candy and knives. Bulk candy in the front, knives, swords and chinese throwing stars in the back. (It's called "Candy and Knives." Not the most creative name, but it is descriptive.)
There's a store in Pittsburgh that sells candy and knives. Bulk candy in the front, knives, swords and chinese throwing stars in the back. (It's called "Candy and Knives." Not the most creative name, but it is descriptive.)
comrade_tom
+0 -0
"No one goes to M&S for their big shop, you just go to get a few bits!"
The mighty Boosh once again proves it has its finger to the nations pulse.
"No one goes to M&S for their big shop, you just go to get a few bits!"
The mighty Boosh once again proves it has its finger to the nations pulse.
hellofditties
+0 -0
That it does, comrade.
That it does, comrade.
rowboat
+0 -0
You're not into ZZ Top and old pickup trucks? Love it or leave it, babe.
You're not into ZZ Top and old pickup trucks? Love it or leave it, babe.
lawbot
+0 -0
A schizophrenic "helper?" A criminally minded "helper" with many aliases?
A schizophrenic "helper?" A criminally minded "helper" with many aliases?
fidelio-roo
+0 -0
That's... So awesome...
But what is more odd than awesome is when I rated this comic a 5, its overall rating went from 4.2 to 4.1 for some reason...
That's... So awesome...
But what is more odd than awesome is when I rated this comic a 5, its overall rating went from 4.2 to 4.1 for some reason...
thorfinn
+0 -0
You did not refresh before rating, and several others rated it 4 or lower during the time between your most recent refresh and when you rated it. When you rated the comic, it updated to include all of the lower ratings that had been made since you came to the page.
You did not refresh before rating, and several others rated it 4 or lower during the time between your most recent refresh and when you rated it. When you rated the comic, it updated to include all of the lower ratings that had been made since you came to the page.
dextrose
+0 -2
I don't recall ever seeing a tail on Ray before.....
I don't recall ever seeing a tail on Ray before.....
numberkillinger
+4 -0
recall harder.
recall harder.
tekende
+5 -0
The pitched but never-produced sequel to the famous Schwarzenneger (sp?) film: Total Recall 2: Recall Harder.
The pitched but never-produced sequel to the famous Schwarzenneger (sp?) film: Total Recall 2: Recall Harder.
scraggg
+1 -0
Featuring a woman with four tits .
Featuring a woman with four tits .
odei
+0 -0
I was gonna say 'and two Schwarzeneggers!' but then I remembered that awful* film where that actually happened.
*Okay, it was probably on par with most Schwarzenegger films but whatever.
I was gonna say 'and two Schwarzeneggers!' but then I remembered that awful* film where that actually happened.
*Okay, it was probably on par with most Schwarzenegger films but whatever.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i Total-ly Recall that movie.
i Total-ly Recall that movie.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Don't be hatin' on the Schwarzenegger films. The Running Man, Total Recall, Terminator, Conan the Barbarian, all classics, classics I tell you.
Don't be hatin' on the Schwarzenegger films. The Running Man, Total Recall, Terminator, Conan the Barbarian, all classics, classics I tell you.
avery86
+0 -0
Really?
Really?
avery86
+0 -0
Crap. Awesome BBcode.
Crap. Awesome BBcode.
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
i challenge your avatar, son
i challenge your avatar, son
baryonyx
+3 -0
Okay guys this is starting to look like my recurring nightmare in which I log in to Assetbar and everyone's icon is just a big terrified eye staring at me.
Okay guys this is starting to look like my recurring nightmare in which I log in to Assetbar and everyone's icon is just a big terrified eye staring at me.
tekende
+0 -0
I have that same one except I vomit too. "Fuck, man! I barfed! I barfed because you looked into my eyes!"
I have that same one except I vomit too. "Fuck, man! I barfed! I barfed because you looked into my eyes!"
nutmeg
+0 -0
VHUBBS that is my favorite strip
VHUBBS that is my favorite strip
bixschmix
+1 -0
Yeah that's why I decided to change from my default avatar (identical to avery) to someone that would save children.
Well, not british children.
Yeah that's why I decided to change from my default avatar (identical to avery) to someone that would save children.
Well, not british children.
starforth
+0 -0
I feel like I am watching the beginning of an episode of 'Lost.'
I feel like I am watching the beginning of an episode of 'Lost.'
charlottien
+0 -0
Gosh. What a twist!
Gosh. What a twist!
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Other than Rays reminiscence (which was both amusing and horrendously insightful) i didn't dig this strip.
Shame, i've been enjoying this arc so far.
Other than Rays reminiscence (which was both amusing and horrendously insightful) i didn't dig this strip.
Shame, i've been enjoying this arc so far.
epicurus
+0 -0
While the implications in this one are shocking, the highlight for me was how perfect the cop in the bottom left panel looks. Every law enforcement agency will have MINIMUM one guy with that face and mustache.
While the implications in this one are shocking, the highlight for me was how perfect the cop in the bottom left panel looks. Every law enforcement agency will have MINIMUM one guy with that face and mustache.
tekende
+0 -0
It's required by law.
It's required by law.
juan_danger
+0 -0
Mr. Teal and The Publican are the same entity! Schizo!
Mr. Teal and The Publican are the same entity! Schizo!
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
"Garrey" Renteal is an anagram of "Grayer" Eternal. Who is the the grayest and most indubitably eternal citizen of Achewood? Why, no other than the community's elder statesman, Cornelius Bear.
I thus submit that Cornelius himself planted the ad for the Shrovis as a practical joke on Roast Beef, left the evidence trail as a practical joke on Ray, and crafted the "you have been hacked" diskette as a practical joke on the police.
Note further the date on which Cornelius first asked Beef to find him a suitable computer: April 1st .
Mr. Bear has once again proved himself to be the baddest of badasses, this time by orchestrating an April Fools prank that kept growing for two weeks straight.
"Garrey" Renteal is an anagram of "Grayer" Eternal. Who is the the grayest and most indubitably eternal citizen of Achewood? Why, no other than the community's elder statesman, Cornelius Bear.
I thus submit that Cornelius himself planted the ad for the Shrovis as a practical joke on Roast Beef, left the evidence trail as a practical joke on Ray, and crafted the "you have been hacked" diskette as a practical joke on the police.
Note further the date on which Cornelius first asked Beef to find him a suitable computer: April 1st .
Mr. Bear has once again proved himself to be the baddest of badasses, this time by orchestrating an April Fools prank that kept growing for two weeks straight.
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
NO
fattybeaver
+0 -0
Fuck he writes a strip like this when I have a test tomorrow. Now I'm gunna spend the rest of the night coming back here every 10 minutes reading anything green. If this arc doesnt end before finals I might as well turn in an application at Denny's.
Fuck he writes a strip like this when I have a test tomorrow. Now I'm gunna spend the rest of the night coming back here every 10 minutes reading anything green. If this arc doesnt end before finals I might as well turn in an application at Denny's.
thorfinn
+0 -0
You mean yellow, right, because you could read most of the green posts the first time through, but new posts are highlighted yellow.
You mean yellow, right, because you could read most of the green posts the first time through, but new posts are highlighted yellow.
tekende
+0 -0
I suppose that, depending on your monitor settings, they could show up as green. Maybe.
I suppose that, depending on your monitor settings, they could show up as green. Maybe.
fattybeaver
+0 -0
I skim everything but I only really READ the green. That way I know what I am supposed to like and can live my life accordingly.
I skim everything but I only really READ the green. That way I know what I am supposed to like and can live my life accordingly.
talgkjertel
+0 -0
whats the rush
whats the rush
dougthehead
+0 -0
Holy crap, featurelessvoid. I have no idea if that's true, but a chubby for effort and style, man.
Best line of the story in this strip, too: "You don't forget a night like that. I mean, unless you do."
Holy crap, featurelessvoid. I have no idea if that's true, but a chubby for effort and style, man.
Best line of the story in this strip, too: "You don't forget a night like that. I mean, unless you do."
ford
+0 -0
I knew the boffin was neuromancer
I knew the boffin was neuromancer
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
I knew it!!! Damn you Boffin! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! Roast Beef will repay your transgressions ten-fold!
I knew it!!! Damn you Boffin! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! Roast Beef will repay your transgressions ten-fold!
gladi8orrex
+0 -2
so like it was all a trick or somethin' after all lol
so like it was all a trick or somethin' after all lol
jollysaintpete
+2 -0
just like when your mom said you could be anything you wanted and that she wasn't fucking the milkman
just like when your mom said you could be anything you wanted and that she wasn't fucking the milkman
achilleselbow
+0 -0
gladi8orrex buys magazines about car stereos.
gladi8orrex buys magazines about car stereos.
cromar
+0 -0
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by invidious, bixschmix, usversusthem, NumberKillinger)
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by invidious, bixschmix, usversusthem, NumberKillinger)
tekende
+0 -0
cromar is a real super-size homo jackass.
cromar is a real super-size homo jackass.
cromar
+0 -0
Yes, thank you. People rarely notice. I have a special love in my heart/ass for you.
Yes, thank you. People rarely notice. I have a special love in my heart/ass for you.
thorfinn
+0 -0
You are now ignored. You join the ranks of such notable assholes as retardo, asherdan, socks, snick, and poing.
You are now ignored. You join the ranks of such notable assholes as retardo, asherdan, socks, snick, and poing.
cromar
+0 -0
You really have a thin skin. Some playful joshing is all it takes :(
You really have a thin skin. Some playful joshing is all it takes :(
bixschmix
+0 -0
cromar needs to learn the difference between playful joshing and annoying antagonism.
cromar needs to learn the difference between playful joshing and annoying antagonism.
ashemon
+0 -0
So who else Googled the name to see if it was real?
So who else Googled the name to see if it was real?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Truer words of wisdom have not been said except for in panel four when Ray totally says them.
[IMGS OFF]
Truer words of wisdom have not been said except for in panel four when Ray totally says them.
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
..and they give you cash, which is just as good as money.
..and they give you cash, which is just as good as money.
cbtbone
+1 -0
it is a sad day when the first Yogi Berra quote people can think of is from the Aflac commercial.
it is a sad day when the first Yogi Berra quote people can think of is from the Aflac commercial.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
there were more from that commercial!! oh, wait. you mean...ohhhhh.
how's this--'if the world was perfect, it wouldn't be'
there were more from that commercial!! oh, wait. you mean...ohhhhh.
how's this--'if the world was perfect, it wouldn't be'
invidious
+0 -0
Ninety percent of downloading kiddie porn on the internet is half mental.
Ninety percent of downloading kiddie porn on the internet is half mental.
ctrl_z
+0 -0
That statement ray makes in panel 4? That is a true statement
That statement ray makes in panel 4? That is a true statement
sleshy
+0 -0
To Ray you never forget a night involving tracing tyres until you can stand again, but if you do forget, thats cool.
To Ray you never forget a night involving tracing tyres until you can stand again, but if you do forget, thats cool.
noah_j
+0 -0
the_bandit and the_boffin... hmmmppph.
the_bandit and the_boffin... hmmmppph.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
So, The publican is named Keith. Is he ALSO the Boffin? And for that matter, why is Keith the one doing the hacking? Seriously, where IS Mr. Teal in all of this?
If I recall, later strips provide some clarity, but I don't remember if they answer this one.
So, The publican is named Keith. Is he ALSO the Boffin? And for that matter, why is Keith the one doing the hacking? Seriously, where IS Mr. Teal in all of this?
If I recall, later strips provide some clarity, but I don't remember if they answer this one.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Yeah, OK, just checked. The very next strip answers it. Feel free to lame these off the board if you are so inclined.
Yeah, OK, just checked. The very next strip answers it. Feel free to lame these off the board if you are so inclined.
lolsworth
+0 -0
HA HA
HA HA
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
"cell-chugging hogs" is quite the delightful turn of phrase.
"cell-chugging hogs" is quite the delightful turn of phrase.
THERE IS NO MR. TEAL
But his presence is felt.
A comment left by sncether was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by waddie, rude_mechanical, billypooter)
But wait... The hacker, known alternatively as (R)enteal and (B)offin, came pre-installed on the Shrovis Bishopthorpe... which was recommended by Roast Beef. Could this all be the work of the one known as the "Quiet Digressor" ?!?
[IMGS OFF]
The disembodied head of Keith Moon is wise, I think he may be on to something.
Don't forget the K in Keith.
Kazenzakis
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, straw, RaysDangNachos, Spoon, Gumfish, atticusonline, gardenhead_, grombly, opalleye)
Lolother than that I agree that it is not roast beef, but mainly because he would not use Cornelius is such a cheap fashion.
Yeah, the Beef would not betray his trust like that.
No, but keep in mind the date of the strip where Beef finds a computer for Cornelius.
https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04012008
None other than April 1.
[UT2K4 voice]HOLY SHIT[/UT2K4 voice]
seriously, this would be so bad ass. It would make the Bad Ass Games pale in comparison.
that is an awesome game.
There's more than one "l" in that.
YES
Don't know about that - the word "boffin" was in the Original Ad . It even made me look up the Wiki article on Boffin to see how much he'd put in a red herring.
But yeah. 'K' is pretty thin.
Not gonna lie here, when I learned that one of the other assistants was a "boffin" I assumed it was a different type of bird. In retrospect, I was thinking of a puffin.
Except lets not forget that "Renteal" spelled backwards is "Laetner," a close approximation of "Laettner." And the most famous "Laettner" is none other than "Christian." Christianity of course being one of the defining characteristics of Mr. Brian Wheat AKA Leon Sumbitches - a character that The Quiet Digressor has had dealings with in the past!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152007
That was Ray.
A comment left by cousinted was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by PierceG, straw, hellofyellin, riotdejaneiro, RogerGS, UgliestSong, FablesandBlues, snoozebar, DrSkradley, GunsOfRay, MrPoopytime, mrblank91, gowerski, echidnaboy, peterjoel)
get thee back to 4chan.
that is hell of terrifying.
Could you please put some pants on that thing, man?
I don't like what you're doing here.
I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS
I wanted to post the stupidest image I could think of that involved the word "lol" in order to amicably mock miseryuandthesun. In hindsight, I think I may have used too stupid an image.
In short: I was drunk, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
[IMGS OFF]
So it seems you discovered your unpleasant nature. Sleep... now.
This is why you are my favorite cousin, Ted.
This is my favorite post.
This post is so good.
Nice! I was just telling someone about Dark City, too. Now I must watch it again!
That cat is mother fucking adorable .
It's eating corn. Corn, I tell you! I don't even know what to say about that! I would not like to see that cat's poo poo after it ate that corn.
Does that imply you'd enjoy seeing the cat's fewmets before it eats the corn? Would that be fun? Maybe you and I should hang out
Man, it's too bad we didn't find this out earlier, I could have used your help cleaning my cat's litter box a while back.
Vee-Chubby
scroll like it's panning
At the time of my posting, this post has 69 chubbies. I too, would like to show my appreciation, but the immature part of my brain just thinks that's really funny.
I was the one who bumped the chubby number to 100.
ONLY ZUUL
Why do I have this picture of Mr. Teal's head on the floating-above-the-sheets Sigourney Weaver's body going through by brain?
No one's even photoshopped it yet. Volunteers?
Grr... MY brain, that is.
Mightve been said already, but -
Keith Ren-TEAL
Coincidence?!
Ah, two comments below this one.
Disregard my original comment, I suck cocks?
So Many Cocks
By Cornelius Bear