beardface
+1 -0
oh man, Roast Beef even gets tough ride on reincarnation
oh man, Roast Beef even gets tough ride on reincarnation
ifergott
+3 -0
figures
figures
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Reincarnation is generally reckoned to be a bummer.
Reincarnation is generally reckoned to be a bummer.
spazdor
+0 -0
...But only by people who think "life is suffering." Todd seems to have done okay with it.
...But only by people who think "life is suffering." Todd seems to have done okay with it.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
usually i have a pretty idea of what's going to happen next, but i sincerely have no clue where onstad is going with this....
usually i have a pretty idea of what's going to happen next, but i sincerely have no clue where onstad is going with this....
goneill451
+2 -0
Agreed, and I couldn't be more hooked. I'll admit that, last night, when I saw there wasn't going to be an update after all, my scrotum shank, and I was sad. But Onstad is right - can't be too careful with something like this.
Agreed, and I couldn't be more hooked. I'll admit that, last night, when I saw there wasn't going to be an update after all, my scrotum shank, and I was sad. But Onstad is right - can't be too careful with something like this.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
I think you mean 'my scrotum shank and I were so sad.'
I think you mean 'my scrotum shank and I were so sad.'
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Just pretend I didn't write 'so' in the previous sentence. Please. Thank you.
Just pretend I didn't write 'so' in the previous sentence. Please. Thank you.
goneill451
+0 -0
I'm willing to give you the benefit of so doubt.
I'm willing to give you the benefit of so doubt.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
No so doubt
No so doubt
stereo
+0 -0
So don't sleep.
So don't sleep.
gormster
+1 -0
I know just so what you're... dreaming?
I know just so what you're... dreaming?
gormster
+0 -0
oh god hang on have i wildly misinterpreted this
oh god hang on have i wildly misinterpreted this
srikamaraja
+0 -0
What would you do if you saw space-ships over Glasgow?
What would you do if you saw space-ships over Glasgow?
aperson
+1 -0
I would do a double-take while rubbing my eyes, look down at my bottle of Buckie, and throw it over my shoulder in horror.
I would do a double-take while rubbing my eyes, look down at my bottle of Buckie, and throw it over my shoulder in horror.
plummet
+0 -0
you just drank the most LSD ever man
i was saving it in that bottle for later
you just drank the most LSD ever man
i was saving it in that bottle for later
srikamaraja
+1 -0
My mother knew that I would die one day!
My mother knew that I would die one day!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I don't know, because I was never sure what the lyric was after that
"would you feel/fear them?"
I don't know, because I was never sure what the lyric was after that
"would you feel/fear them?"
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I believe it is 'fear', and it gives me chills every time. There is nothing more rewarding than actually learning how to play the guitar for a post-rock song. Especially the highly-distorted antics of Explosions In The Sky.
I believe it is 'fear', and it gives me chills every time. There is nothing more rewarding than actually learning how to play the guitar for a post-rock song. Especially the highly-distorted antics of Explosions In The Sky.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, hey, I thought they sounded familiar. They're doing a show in my city in September. Worth seeing?
Oh, hey, I thought they sounded familiar. They're doing a show in my city in September. Worth seeing?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I believe so, but it is important to note that there will be little to no live improvisation. Their songs are more like orchestral pieces, more likely to be immaculately reproduced.
I believe so, but it is important to note that there will be little to no live improvisation. Their songs are more like orchestral pieces, more likely to be immaculately reproduced.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
So are you talking about Mogwai or Explosions in the Sky at this point?
So are you talking about Mogwai or Explosions in the Sky at this point?
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
Yes, going to see Explosions in the Sky play electric picnic.
Yes, going to see Explosions in the Sky play electric picnic.
nice-on-water
+1 -1
Finally, expression of what I've been trying to sort out. There's that obstinate group that calls this stuff "filler" and while I didn't agree at all with them, I couldn't really describe what they were. But it's definitely instilling me with anticipation. After Wales, an arc made of comics like these are definitely welcome.
Finally, expression of what I've been trying to sort out. There's that obstinate group that calls this stuff "filler" and while I didn't agree at all with them, I couldn't really describe what they were. But it's definitely instilling me with anticipation. After Wales, an arc made of comics like these are definitely welcome.
mawk
+0 -0
as far as the basics go, I think it's a semi-safe assumption that the R-man receiving the invitation from the CH-man is related to the R-man's prior performance Proving Himself a Coward Who Would Desert a Dying Man, especially given the title of RB's final performance. Ray's gonna come through for his bro in the end, bet your bottom dollar.
as far as the basics go, I think it's a semi-safe assumption that the R-man receiving the invitation from the CH-man is related to the R-man's prior performance Proving Himself a Coward Who Would Desert a Dying Man, especially given the title of RB's final performance. Ray's gonna come through for his bro in the end, bet your bottom dollar.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
oh man, i think i got it! onstad is setting up how and why beef can keep dying and coming back. am i on the right track? the teeming minions in this board could probably provide more clarity.
oh man, i think i got it! onstad is setting up how and why beef can keep dying and coming back. am i on the right track? the teeming minions in this board could probably provide more clarity.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't think we have to know how he does that. Ain't no one really oughta care about it anyway.
I don't think we have to know how he does that. Ain't no one really oughta care about it anyway.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Maybe because he's a cat and has nine lives?
Maybe because he's a cat and has nine lives?
pmbarrett
+0 -0
i think we can all agree to hope for a better explanation than that.
i think we can all agree to hope for a better explanation than that.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Well the first two times he wasn't really totally dead. The last time, Trouble Man and No No killed him while he was already dead, so that's pretty self explanatory. I never got why people were mystified by this Achewood death thing. It's not something to concern yourself with. Just like the underground thing; I didn't think it needed explanation. Though the Hull comic was good.
Well the first two times he wasn't really totally dead. The last time, Trouble Man and No No killed him while he was already dead, so that's pretty self explanatory. I never got why people were mystified by this Achewood death thing. It's not something to concern yourself with. Just like the underground thing; I didn't think it needed explanation. Though the Hull comic was good.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
chubbied for an abundance of truth and perspective.
chubbied for an abundance of truth and perspective.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Do you know what self-explanatory means? Because I can't quite wrap my head around how it could be applied to Trouble Man and No No.
Do you know what self-explanatory means? Because I can't quite wrap my head around how it could be applied to Trouble Man and No No.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He said "I want to go back." They said "Ok, we just need to kill you and you'll go back." They killed him. He was back. In the shack. In the sack. With Molly.
He said "I want to go back." They said "Ok, we just need to kill you and you'll go back." They killed him. He was back. In the shack. In the sack. With Molly.
wozzeck
+11 -0
Alt. text: "The doomed cat must now switch to Skymall."
Remember you a simpler time, when the sharing of these quaint phrases was enough to earn a humble assertbarian many chubbies? Oh, how one longs for those dynamic days when a man knew his mettle would be needed to fill in for the malfunctions of poorly implemented machinery!
Alt. text: "The doomed cat must now switch to Skymall."
Remember you a simpler time, when the sharing of these quaint phrases was enough to earn a humble assertbarian many chubbies? Oh, how one longs for those dynamic days when a man knew his mettle would be needed to fill in for the malfunctions of poorly implemented machinery!
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, streever, retrowheels)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, streever, retrowheels)
thing
+23 -1
You did not capitalize the opening letter of each sentence. How quaint.
You did not capitalize the opening letter of each sentence. How quaint.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ifergott, daidai, Lumus, streever, mystkmanat, breastman, thing)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ifergott, daidai, Lumus, streever, mystkmanat, breastman, thing)
daidai
+11 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
tripleoptics
+1 -0
i would probably get mad if i wasn't laughing so hard. hell, even i'll chubby that shit.
i would probably get mad if i wasn't laughing so hard. hell, even i'll chubby that shit.
thegoblins
+0 -0
The only bar where I actually understand what the hell's going on at least 25% of the time is this one.
I am of the easily confused
The only bar where I actually understand what the hell's going on at least 25% of the time is this one.
I am of the easily confused
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, HonestTom, ntopp, Lumus, streever, thing, foea)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, HonestTom, ntopp, Lumus, streever, thing, foea)
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
Many people on the internet believe that being rather rude is a sign of independent thinking.
Many people on the internet believe that being rather rude is a sign of independent thinking.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, re5urgam, ntopp, sneechles, Lumus, streever, Irien)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, re5urgam, ntopp, sneechles, Lumus, streever, Irien)
hatstand_mcq
+7 -0
What I was trying, if inexpertly, to convey is that you are being very rude.
What I was trying, if inexpertly, to convey is that you are being very rude.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...oh man. oh man. He called himself a "typical moron sheep" sarcastically. Do you get it? DON'T YOU GUYS GET HOW UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL THIS GUY IS?
I am being a dick, and it feels so good I think one of my organs just moved.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...oh man. oh man. He called himself a "typical moron sheep" sarcastically. Do you get it? DON'T YOU GUYS GET HOW UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL THIS GUY IS?
I am being a dick, and it feels so good I think one of my organs just moved.
farqussus
+2 -0
i think it was your foetus. punch it!
i think it was your foetus. punch it!
plummet
+0 -0
be careful it's addictive
be careful it's addictive
thegoblins
+0 -0
Is it your dick?
Is it your dick?
streever
+0 -0
And yet you still express yourself rudely & act as if you aren't sheeple.
And yet you still express yourself rudely & act as if you aren't sheeple.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Lumus, streever, usversusthem, thing)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, Lumus, streever, usversusthem, thing)
greenkoolayd
+5 -2
stop being a crybaby. if you dont like it, leave.
stop being a crybaby. if you dont like it, leave.
granularsilica
+1 -0
I think you mean NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOT UR CRY CRY FACE
I think you mean NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOT UR CRY CRY FACE
anticitizen
+0 -0
anyone who can freaking explain this to me will be my best friend.
anyone who can freaking explain this to me will be my best friend.
belgand
+3 -0
Someone was whining. Gladi said this in response. It took off because a new, amusing phrase for "shut your bitch-hole" was most sorely needed.
Someone was whining. Gladi said this in response. It took off because a new, amusing phrase for "shut your bitch-hole" was most sorely needed.
anticitizen
+0 -0
ahhh thank you, sir.
ahhh thank you, sir.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
you have a new best friend! that is so blaze!
you have a new best friend! that is so blaze!
anticitizen
+1 -0
i know, dude. i'm super psyched!
belgand, i'm going to a roller derby game next weekend, you should totally fly to Boston & we will hang.
incidentally, my hometown has a team with this girl who has maybe the greatest RiotGirl name ever... (wait for it...)
Tits McVenom.
there you go, in case you were wondering what the greatest collection of sounds in the English language was (it's not "Cellar Door" anymore): Tits McVenom
i know, dude. i'm super psyched!
belgand, i'm going to a roller derby game next weekend, you should totally fly to Boston & we will hang.
incidentally, my hometown has a team with this girl who has maybe the greatest RiotGirl name ever... (wait for it...)
Tits McVenom.
there you go, in case you were wondering what the greatest collection of sounds in the English language was (it's not "Cellar Door" anymore): Tits McVenom
ntopp
+0 -0
Alright, I just called my girlfriend at work to tell her about Tits McVenom. That's classy, dude.
Alright, I just called my girlfriend at work to tell her about Tits McVenom. That's classy, dude.
belgand
+0 -0
That is truly a great name. I still like the name "ShEvil Dead", but I feel like maybe it's not quite good enough at the same time? Regardless, a zombie theme is basically all I could ever want from roller derby. If only there was also a show by the Living Dead Girlz at the half.
I need to go to my own Roller Derby if they're still going for the season. I should probably ask SpicyPonyHead because I really ought to hang out with local Assetfolk and I get the impression that she'd be interested in that sort of thing (probably because she said so already).
I'm not coming to Boston, but I did apply to Boston College and despite the horrible weather it's probably the #2 place in the country where I might want to live.
You have our sympathy with New York. I've been expounding lately on how I feel that perhaps Boston has quite a lot of in common with SF.
Part of the reason I can't come is because my birthday is next Friday. Going to roller derby sounds a hell of a lot more fun than what I'm going to be doing: I am not going to be doing anything because you can't invite over your one friend and call it a party.
That is truly a great name. I still like the name "ShEvil Dead", but I feel like maybe it's not quite good enough at the same time? Regardless, a zombie theme is basically all I could ever want from roller derby. If only there was also a show by the Living Dead Girlz at the half.
I need to go to my own Roller Derby if they're still going for the season. I should probably ask SpicyPonyHead because I really ought to hang out with local Assetfolk and I get the impression that she'd be interested in that sort of thing (probably because she said so already).
I'm not coming to Boston, but I did apply to Boston College and despite the horrible weather it's probably the #2 place in the country where I might want to live.
You have our sympathy with New York. I've been expounding lately on how I feel that perhaps Boston has quite a lot of in common with SF.
Part of the reason I can't come is because my birthday is next Friday. Going to roller derby sounds a hell of a lot more fun than what I'm going to be doing: I am not going to be doing anything because you can't invite over your one friend and call it a party.
anticitizen
+0 -0
oh dude, that's so weird that you mentioned it, i had a lengthy conversation today about the parallels between Boston & SF. SF is, likewise, the only other place I'd really, really love to love in this country.
oh dude, that's so weird that you mentioned it, i had a lengthy conversation today about the parallels between Boston & SF. SF is, likewise, the only other place I'd really, really love to love in this country.
anticitizen
+0 -0
*live
dammit.
*live
dammit.
belgand
+0 -0
I feel I must now propose a Strangers on a Train sort of scenario. We will rid you of New York if you will rid us of LA. Together we can vanquish our younger, shallower siblings and regain the glory that we rightly deserve.
I feel I must now propose a Strangers on a Train sort of scenario. We will rid you of New York if you will rid us of LA. Together we can vanquish our younger, shallower siblings and regain the glory that we rightly deserve.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
San Fransisco, the city you love to love.
San Fransisco, the city you love to love.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i like the name 'tara nippleoff'.
i like the name 'tara nippleoff'.
lateadopter
+6 -0
It's "cock to a stranger" and "dick about terms." If you're going to complain about pedantic, self-important fuckheads on the internet, you should at least do it properly.
It's "cock to a stranger" and "dick about terms." If you're going to complain about pedantic, self-important fuckheads on the internet, you should at least do it properly.
streever
+0 -0
He could also avoid being a cock & a dick whilst he complains about others for the same reason.
He could also avoid being a cock & a dick whilst he complains about others for the same reason.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Either everyone on Assetbar is a stranger, or no-one on Assetbar is a stranger. There is no middle ground. You are Here.
Either everyone on Assetbar is a stranger, or no-one on Assetbar is a stranger. There is no middle ground. You are Here.
octafish
+0 -0
Here?
*moves slightly*
... or here?
Here?
*moves slightly*
... or here?
anticitizen
+0 -0
"...or did I just blow your mind?"
"...or did I just blow your mind?"
hedonismbot
+19 -0
There are more than twenty of us. There are, like over one hundred socially awkward spazzes all sitting aorund our computers not giving a shit about your cry cry face.
There are more than twenty of us. There are, like over one hundred socially awkward spazzes all sitting aorund our computers not giving a shit about your cry cry face.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, Stonecrab, Lumus, aHatOfPig, streever)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, Stonecrab, Lumus, aHatOfPig, streever)
hedonismbot
+14 -0
Stating the facts in a weepy weep way.
Stating the facts in a weepy weep way.
tripleoptics
+0 -0
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mawk, zhiwiller, thebaddoctor, Lumus, streever)
A comment left by tripleoptics was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mawk, zhiwiller, thebaddoctor, Lumus, streever)
woodenteeth
+1 -0
yes
yes
tripleoptics
+1 -0
*tips hat* advice duly noted, sir.
*tips hat* advice duly noted, sir.
streever
+0 -0
This was sensible. You've done something sensible. Good job.
This was sensible. You've done something sensible. Good job.
spazdor
+0 -0
I can teach you.
I can teach you.
re5urgam
+1 -0
But I'll have to charge
La-la la-la la
Sorry.
But I'll have to charge
La-la la-la la
Sorry.
anticitizen
+0 -0
*stands up, starts slow clap*
nicely done.
*stands up, starts slow clap*
nicely done.
expellens
+1 -0
I now feel assured. Thanks!
Now hedonismbot, you leave that poor grad student alone. He means you no harm. He simply can't find a job in this crazy economy what with having a master of fine arts and such. That makes him crazy, see?
onomatopoeia crazy...
I now feel assured. Thanks!
Now hedonismbot, you leave that poor grad student alone. He means you no harm. He simply can't find a job in this crazy economy what with having a master of fine arts and such. That makes him crazy, see?
onomatopoeia crazy...
srikamaraja
+0 -0
True, but just because one is brilliant yet fiscally relegated to drinking Steel Reserve in a hot shower for entertainment is no reason to be a Tool.
There was no distantly-remembered 'golden age' of assetbar. We are here to make the best of it, and we do so on the daily.
I miss spinynorman too.
True, but just because one is brilliant yet fiscally relegated to drinking Steel Reserve in a hot shower for entertainment is no reason to be a Tool.
There was no distantly-remembered 'golden age' of assetbar. We are here to make the best of it, and we do so on the daily.
I miss spinynorman too.
expellens
+0 -0
I was thinking about that spinynorman guy just yesterday. I heard he got run-ded over by a steam roller.
He ain't spiny no more...
I was thinking about that spinynorman guy just yesterday. I heard he got run-ded over by a steam roller.
He ain't spiny no more...
gormster
+0 -0
tldr. line breaks bro.
tldr. line breaks bro.
streever
+0 -0
I'm embarassed for you that at 27 you still feel this way.
I'm embarassed for you that at 27 you still feel this way.
farqussus
+0 -0
what is the correct age to feel ways?
what is the correct age to feel ways?
streever
+1 -0
It is never appropriate to feel the way that tripleoptics feels at any age.
It is never appropriate to feel the way that tripleoptics feels at any age.
history
+0 -0
I think tripleoptics' status and age combination says it all. Nothing cooler than making people think you get high everyday. Particularly if you are 27.
I think tripleoptics' status and age combination says it all. Nothing cooler than making people think you get high everyday. Particularly if you are 27.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I am twenty-two, have an anxiety disorder, and cannot afford prescription medications.
Is it okay for me, history? Just curious.
I am twenty-two, have an anxiety disorder, and cannot afford prescription medications.
Is it okay for me, history? Just curious.
history
+0 -0
You mistake my objection. I don't care if he actually smokes everyday (which I doubt)...it's the fact that he feels the need to advertise it as his profile status.
You mistake my objection. I don't care if he actually smokes everyday (which I doubt)...it's the fact that he feels the need to advertise it as his profile status.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Ahhh. Eighth-gradery.
Ahhh. Eighth-gradery.
anticitizen
+0 -0
i wish in addition to my alloted number of chubbies, i had a set-aside amount just for hedonismbot.
i wish in addition to my alloted number of chubbies, i had a set-aside amount just for hedonismbot.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Ditto
Ditto
plummet
+0 -0
What the fuck is up with that avatar?
Seriously, I must learn this secret art.
What the fuck is up with that avatar?
Seriously, I must learn this secret art.
re5urgam
+0 -0
To what do you refer?
To what do you refer?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Although I was going to join in I would recommend Ignore or "Wow, AIU is back" *scroll*.
Although I was going to join in I would recommend Ignore or "Wow, AIU is back" *scroll*.
stereo
+2 -0
Same as it ever was. (same as it ever was)
Same as it ever was. (same as it ever was)
streever
+0 -0
Speaking of self-important douchebag talk? (Look at the guy above me, yes, this is what he is doing)
Speaking of self-important douchebag talk? (Look at the guy above me, yes, this is what he is doing)
streever
+0 -0
Oh no. This is in response to tripleoptics. I would not hate on Stereo this way.
Oh no. This is in response to tripleoptics. I would not hate on Stereo this way.
mawk
+0 -0
I must have missed something. who here has been demonstrating themselves to be a white kid who wishes to appear black?
I must have missed something. who here has been demonstrating themselves to be a white kid who wishes to appear black?
foea
+0 -1
Using the word "wigger" will earn you my lames every single time.
Using the word "wigger" will earn you my lames every single time.
history
+0 -0
I don't think I had seen that word used since my high school days...which were half a lifetime ago.
Hint for a witty response: Look at the age on my profile. Go ahead, you can figure out the clever words on your own!!!
I don't think I had seen that word used since my high school days...which were half a lifetime ago.
Hint for a witty response: Look at the age on my profile. Go ahead, you can figure out the clever words on your own!!!
krockhool
+0 -0
I like it when the message board system replaces words like 'wigger' and 'wapanese' with weeaboo. That... pleases me.
I like it when the message board system replaces words like 'wigger' and 'wapanese' with weeaboo. That... pleases me.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
'juggalo' is the preferred vernacular.
'juggalo' is the preferred vernacular.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
How do you kill that which has no life?
How do you kill that which has no life?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
sometimes, youre not done killing, even though its already dead, dig?
sometimes, youre not done killing, even though its already dead, dig?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh man, juggalo is gonna wreck your shiz.
oh man, juggalo is gonna wreck your shiz.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
With things like "Thanks, I was pretty sure it went something like this but I couldn't remember word for word."
With things like "Thanks, I was pretty sure it went something like this but I couldn't remember word for word."
lexsenthur
+1 -0
I bet Skymall has a dandy gadget that would prevent a magazine from flying out of your hands during open cockpit flight.
I bet Skymall has a dandy gadget that would prevent a magazine from flying out of your hands during open cockpit flight.
mawk
+0 -0
it would come as a bonus attachment to one of their lovely artisan-made watches.
it would come as a bonus attachment to one of their lovely artisan-made watches.
plummet
+1 -0
And away we go with a FFFFFF-P'DEE-P'DEE-F'PAR-SPUTSPUT-PDRRRRRRRR on a new, exciting adventure with CH!
Solid 5. Feels GOOD, man.
And away we go with a FFFFFF-P'DEE-P'DEE-F'PAR-SPUTSPUT-PDRRRRRRRR on a new, exciting adventure with CH!
Solid 5. Feels GOOD, man.
fermatprime
+1 -0
bwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrr
bwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrr
irien
+0 -0
Wait, wait, wait. If CH is planning to use RB's death in tonight's show, why would he give him a convenient booklet on how to counteract the Lash?
Wait, wait, wait. If CH is planning to use RB's death in tonight's show, why would he give him a convenient booklet on how to counteract the Lash?
daidai
+7 -0
False hope. That's the type of dude CH is. He's all: "I'm just here to emcee your death, bro."
Then one night Beef will wake up in a fit of coughing midway through a light slumber, an open vial of April Jasmine resting on his Bedtable. Aside, a small card:
"Peace bitch"
OHHHH SHIIIIIIIT
False hope. That's the type of dude CH is. He's all: "I'm just here to emcee your death, bro."
Then one night Beef will wake up in a fit of coughing midway through a light slumber, an open vial of April Jasmine resting on his Bedtable. Aside, a small card:
"Peace bitch"
OHHHH SHIIIIIIIT
westsider8
+3 -0
If Beef hadn't had the book so unceremoniously torn from his hands, he would have discovered this information on the next page:
This page intentionally left blank
So, really, the air currents did him a favor.
If Beef hadn't had the book so unceremoniously torn from his hands, he would have discovered this information on the next page:
This page intentionally left blank
So, really, the air currents did him a favor.
hatstand_mcq
+19 -0
The book was a cruel taunt left by Cartilage Head's more boorish brother Gristle Dick. The next page shows an aquatint of Gristle Dick's arse. Cartilage Head hates his brother with passion beyond words.
The book was a cruel taunt left by Cartilage Head's more boorish brother Gristle Dick. The next page shows an aquatint of Gristle Dick's arse. Cartilage Head hates his brother with passion beyond words.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Gristle Dick sounds like an ornery flatfoot from Way Out West who has a good, clear reason for why he's so ornery.
Gristle Dick sounds like an ornery flatfoot from Way Out West who has a good, clear reason for why he's so ornery.
invidious
+1 -0
Gristle Dick sounds like a guy who made it to the final ten in the Great Outdoor Fight.
Gristle Dick sounds like a guy who made it to the final ten in the Great Outdoor Fight.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But lost for a good, clear reason.
But lost for a good, clear reason.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Gristle Dick. Wonderful.
Gristle Dick. Wonderful.
spicyponyhead
+1 -0
Does he hate Gristle Dick with a...throbbing...passion?
Does he hate Gristle Dick with a...throbbing...passion?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Ooooooooohh after reading your post I just imagined Gristle Dick's performance art stage show. All the bending, clicks and gnawing included.
Ooooooooohh after reading your post I just imagined Gristle Dick's performance art stage show. All the bending, clicks and gnawing included.
slodowy_slicer
+5 -0
You should see him play the organ.
You should see him play the organ.
octafish
+0 -0
No he hates little girls, with their little curls, and their pretty dress, and their little breasts.
No he hates little girls, with their little curls, and their pretty dress, and their little breasts.
potatoes9000
+2 -0
Cartilage Head, however, loves little girls; they make him feel so good.
Cartilage Head, however, loves little girls; they make him feel so good.
hedonismbot
+8 -0
There was a young lady who used to post here that hated the fact that guys only knew that one song by those guys. I'm pretty sure Manflesh turned her into a set of some kind of gloves. I can vouch that I didn't cause her disappearance.
There was a young lady who used to post here that hated the fact that guys only knew that one song by those guys. I'm pretty sure Manflesh turned her into a set of some kind of gloves. I can vouch that I didn't cause her disappearance.
xenoterranos
+2 -0
"[blank] Turned her into some kind of gloves" is now my default replacement for "How the fuck should I know where she is."
Did someone program you do just spout awesome shit all day, and then UNIX-pipe you into Assetbar, because, well, Thank You Kind Sir.
"[blank] Turned her into some kind of gloves" is now my default replacement for "How the fuck should I know where she is."
Did someone program you do just spout awesome shit all day, and then UNIX-pipe you into Assetbar, because, well, Thank You Kind Sir.
thegoblins
+1 -0
Quiet, hedobot. This is not a party where people know your name.
Quiet, hedobot. This is not a party where people know your name.
oingoboingirl
+0 -0
Oingo Boingo fans don't get turned into gloves.
They just lurk in the shadows until the rare moment when someone else makes an Oingo Boingo reference so they finally feel not so alone in liking Oingo Boingo.
Oingo Boingo fans don't get turned into gloves.
They just lurk in the shadows until the rare moment when someone else makes an Oingo Boingo reference so they finally feel not so alone in liking Oingo Boingo.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What ees thees Oingo Boingo? Ees eet like Slinky® or Pogo stick®?
What ees thees Oingo Boingo? Ees eet like Slinky® or Pogo stick®?
camidumas
+0 -0
In fact, Cartilage Head was briefly married to Maurice Chevalier.
In fact, Cartilage Head was briefly married to Maurice Chevalier.
streever
+0 -0
He feels a ... throbbing... need to hate Gristle Dick. His hate can only be quenched by--
He feels a ... throbbing... need to hate Gristle Dick. His hate can only be quenched by--
farqussus
+0 -0
chewing it for up to two minutes trying to break it into sufficiently manageable pieces, failing, trying to swallow it anyway and choking as it solidifies in his contracting windpipe
chewing it for up to two minutes trying to break it into sufficiently manageable pieces, failing, trying to swallow it anyway and choking as it solidifies in his contracting windpipe
srikamaraja
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
omegatron
+0 -0
Oh I see what you did there. A subtle reference to the performance art group Passion Dick .
Oh I see what you did there. A subtle reference to the performance art group Passion Dick .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Probably bark from a quite unattainable plant of some sort when one is flying in a Fokker in roughly Southern California (it is roughly Southern, right? Or "inland" might be its own thing, I don't know)
Probably bark from a quite unattainable plant of some sort when one is flying in a Fokker in roughly Southern California (it is roughly Southern, right? Or "inland" might be its own thing, I don't know)
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I thought they lived in Palo Alto, which is Northern California (near San Francisco)
I thought they lived in Palo Alto, which is Northern California (near San Francisco)
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Achewood is a city in an unnamed state. However it is also supposed to be taken from, or modeled after, yes, Palo Alto where the Onstads both went to college.
Achewood is a city in an unnamed state. However it is also supposed to be taken from, or modeled after, yes, Palo Alto where the Onstads both went to college.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ah okay. The only thing I remembered was the GOF was in Bakersfield so I looked that up and saw it was pretty "central."
Ah okay. The only thing I remembered was the GOF was in Bakersfield so I looked that up and saw it was pretty "central."
invidious
+0 -0
Bakersfield is where dreams go to die.
There's oil there, too.
Bakersfield is where dreams go to die.
There's oil there, too.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I feel obligated to point out that Irvine, CA is home to "JOHN WAYNE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT".
I am unsure as to whether or not any other town or city in the United States can claim such badassery.
I feel obligated to point out that Irvine, CA is home to "JOHN WAYNE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT".
I am unsure as to whether or not any other town or city in the United States can claim such badassery.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Oh look. Here comes John Wayne. "I'm not gonna cry about m'pa. I'm gonna build an airport. Put m'name on it." Why Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can hide them inside, but sooner or later they'll...hey...who took all my FUCKING HARD BOILED EGGS??
Oh look. Here comes John Wayne. "I'm not gonna cry about m'pa. I'm gonna build an airport. Put m'name on it." Why Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can hide them inside, but sooner or later they'll...hey...who took all my FUCKING HARD BOILED EGGS??
anticitizen
+0 -0
Okay, nice-on-water, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist? The world's first analrapist...
Okay, nice-on-water, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist? The world's first analrapist...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No no, anticitizen was just analraping me.
No no, anticitizen was just analraping me.
thegoblins
+0 -0
You blowhards!
You blowhards!
belgand
+0 -0
I once spent most of a summer in Irvine. They do not deserve that name for their airport. They barely even deserve Paris Hilton Regional Landing Strip.
I once spent most of a summer in Irvine. They do not deserve that name for their airport. They barely even deserve Paris Hilton Regional Landing Strip.
smallblackdog
+1 -0
Is that like a 'brazillian'?
Is that like a 'brazillian'?
belgand
+0 -0
Yes, but any local citizen is allowed usage of the facilities on a drop-in basis.
Yes, but any local citizen is allowed usage of the facilities on a drop-in basis.
belgand
+0 -0
It seems that it is clearly intended to be California quite often as they'll not infrequently mention the state or other nearby areas.
It seems that it is clearly intended to be California quite often as they'll not infrequently mention the state or other nearby areas.
belgand
+0 -0
It seems that it is clearly intended to be California quite often as they'll not infrequently mention the state or other nearby areas.
It seems that it is clearly intended to be California quite often as they'll not infrequently mention the state or other nearby areas.
mockereo
+1 -0
It now seems doubly clear. Thank you
It now seems doubly clear. Thank you
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm not too sure, no sir, not too sure at all.
I'm not too sure, no sir, not too sure at all.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Yeah, maybe not... I thought that's what it said on the Achewood wikipedia page, but we have all felt the cold sting of wikipedia's misinformation from time to time.
(Also I am a ma'am, but it is okay)
Yeah, maybe not... I thought that's what it said on the Achewood wikipedia page, but we have all felt the cold sting of wikipedia's misinformation from time to time.
(Also I am a ma'am, but it is okay)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I saw that afterwards but I figured "no sir" would be fine. It's kinda like a gender-neutral "dude."
I saw that afterwards but I figured "no sir" would be fine. It's kinda like a gender-neutral "dude."
hedonismbot
+4 -0
Let's be fair, you are 17. That is less ma'am, and more 'miss', 'young lady', or 'why the fuck is my coffee cup almost empty, God help you if you expect a tip'.
Let's be fair, you are 17. That is less ma'am, and more 'miss', 'young lady', or 'why the fuck is my coffee cup almost empty, God help you if you expect a tip'.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I thought you were going to say "appetizer." Or "hors d'oeuvres," if you're a Yale man.
I thought you were going to say "appetizer." Or "hors d'oeuvres," if you're a Yale man.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Or "horse doovrays" if you went to my high school.
Or "horse doovrays" if you went to my high school.
history
+0 -0
Yep, "hors d'oeuvres" that's a phrase you would have needed to go to Yale to know and use.
I apologize. you are a stranger. I am a dick.
Yep, "hors d'oeuvres" that's a phrase you would have needed to go to Yale to know and use.
I apologize. you are a stranger. I am a dick.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Or you didn't see daidai's reference , above, to this strip .
Wait, that implies that daidai's comment is so great that it makes those who see it into non-dicks. I would not say it's that great, just that I was referring to it, and so you might give me slack for stretching the joke kind of thin, even if you were a bit of a dick. But if you're a major dick, it wouldn't matter.
Mind you, a major dick is not the same a big swinging dick. The latter implies power and prestige and a fair amount of machismo, the alpha male, while the former simply conveys assholishness. In my dissertation, I touched on a similar contraposition of terms in colloquial Swahili....
Or you didn't see daidai's reference , above, to this strip .
Wait, that implies that daidai's comment is so great that it makes those who see it into non-dicks. I would not say it's that great, just that I was referring to it, and so you might give me slack for stretching the joke kind of thin, even if you were a bit of a dick. But if you're a major dick, it wouldn't matter.
Mind you, a major dick is not the same a big swinging dick. The latter implies power and prestige and a fair amount of machismo, the alpha male, while the former simply conveys assholishness. In my dissertation, I touched on a similar contraposition of terms in colloquial Swahili....
mystkmanat
+0 -0
You may refer to me as "Why the fuck" for short.
You may refer to me as "Why the fuck" for short.
usversusthem
+0 -0
I bet it was Dogwood.
Why? No reason.
I bet it was Dogwood.
Why? No reason.
mawk
+0 -0
showmanship. the booklet was destined to flut-tut-tut away that very moment. the CH-man makes his broth and his bread by providing an Experience. sorrow, beauty, hopelessness -- it doesn't matter, dogg. when you deal with the CH-man, you better make sure your emotions stretched properly beforehand.
showmanship. the booklet was destined to flut-tut-tut away that very moment. the CH-man makes his broth and his bread by providing an Experience. sorrow, beauty, hopelessness -- it doesn't matter, dogg. when you deal with the CH-man, you better make sure your emotions stretched properly beforehand.
bbf
+0 -0
Oh, Beef.
Why you got to go and do a thing?
Oh, Beef.
Why you got to go and do a thing?
plummet
+1 -0
the pages of the book are coated with a fine, powdery poison
as you turn the pages, they slip between your fingers, so you must lick your fingers before turning each page
oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
the pages of the book are coated with a fine, powdery poison
as you turn the pages, they slip between your fingers, so you must lick your fingers before turning each page
oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
mr-siegal
+1 -0
Umberto?
Umberto?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
La Reine Margot?
La Reine Margot?
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Eco, you bastard!
Eco, you bastard!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
There is a film called La Reine Margot, in which someone is done in with a poisoned book.
There is a film called La Reine Margot, in which someone is done in with a poisoned book.
mr-siegal
+1 -0
Sorry, I wasn't abusing you, rather the postmodern bastard, Umberto Eco who used the same plot device in 'Name of the Rose.'
I guess he would reply that he was paying homage to Victor Hugo who, I think, wrote the novel.
Sorry, I wasn't abusing you, rather the postmodern bastard, Umberto Eco who used the same plot device in 'Name of the Rose.'
I guess he would reply that he was paying homage to Victor Hugo who, I think, wrote the novel.
tripleoptics
+0 -1
what are you doing, mr-siegal? don't apologize! only "independent thinking" here, pal!
what are you doing, mr-siegal? don't apologize! only "independent thinking" here, pal!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
"Independent thinking?" What next?
I'll tell you.
Anarchy, cats & dogs living together, anthropomorphic stuffed toys, universal health care, the end of civilisation.
California!
"Independent thinking?" What next?
I'll tell you.
Anarchy, cats & dogs living together, anthropomorphic stuffed toys, universal health care, the end of civilisation.
California!
tripleoptics
+0 -2
hahaha sorry. i was referring to a comment made earlier by hatstand_mcq, where he said that people find being rude as a sign of independent thinking. it was in jest, sir. not a slight against you in any way.
hahaha sorry. i was referring to a comment made earlier by hatstand_mcq, where he said that people find being rude as a sign of independent thinking. it was in jest, sir. not a slight against you in any way.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
pace
pace
thegoblins
+0 -0
Requiescat!
Requiescat!
mawk
+0 -0
oh would you please stop
oh would you please stop
mr-siegal
+0 -0
My bad; Alexandre Dumas
My bad; Alexandre Dumas
xenoterranos
+0 -0
I actually have that on DVD. Crazy.
I actually have that on DVD. Crazy.
camidumas
+0 -0
Dumas.
Dumas.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
"Flut-tut-ut-utttt!" There's just something so lyrical about Onstad's onomatopoeia.
"Flut-tut-ut-utttt!" There's just something so lyrical about Onstad's onomatopoeia.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Lick
Flip
Lick
Flip
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
K dudes i m back
2 tired 2 type a rap
soo i fink i'am tak a nap
asap
once i get dis cat offa my lap
so gnight once i laydown
i am so haps 2 b back in town
right nah im so tightly woun'(d)
dang i hasn't updated twitteh atalls l8ly. so lame of me. will gib lik an update a day or w/o. i guess dat'll b good i ant b at ma comp all day so wil hab 2 do
K dudes i m back
2 tired 2 type a rap
soo i fink i'am tak a nap
asap
once i get dis cat offa my lap
so gnight once i laydown
i am so haps 2 b back in town
right nah im so tightly woun'(d)
dang i hasn't updated twitteh atalls l8ly. so lame of me. will gib lik an update a day or w/o. i guess dat'll b good i ant b at ma comp all day so wil hab 2 do
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
i h8 twitter bots so plz lemme no ur a people an' not advertrobot. i clear those finks out i h8 'em so much but they r so cleveh i can hardly tell. but i do eventually tell
i h8 twitter bots so plz lemme no ur a people an' not advertrobot. i clear those finks out i h8 'em so much but they r so cleveh i can hardly tell. but i do eventually tell
daidai
+0 -0
lol i h8 spiders
lol i h8 spiders
mockereo
+0 -0
I like spiders. Definitely more than surfing.
I like spiders. Definitely more than surfing.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
It usually takes me about 2 months before I realise the penis enlarging cream will never arrive and there's no money left in my account for phony viagra.
It usually takes me about 2 months before I realise the penis enlarging cream will never arrive and there's no money left in my account for phony viagra.
daidai
+2 -0
Are or are you not selling the Penis-Mightier?!
Are or are you not selling the Penis-Mightier?!
mr-siegal
+1 -0
Of course, send me your bank account details and I'll send you some, TOGETHER WITH FIFY MILLION ZIMBABWEAN DOLLARS ($Z50000000.00) WHICH PRES MUGABE'S NEPHEWWANTS TO SEND OVERSEAS!! HE PERSONALLY AKSED ME TO CONTACT AN HONOURABLE PERSON TO RECIEVE THSEE MONEY FOR HIM FOR A TEN PERCENT 10% FEE. (or a cup of water if you prefer.)
Of course, send me your bank account details and I'll send you some, TOGETHER WITH FIFY MILLION ZIMBABWEAN DOLLARS ($Z50000000.00) WHICH PRES MUGABE'S NEPHEWWANTS TO SEND OVERSEAS!! HE PERSONALLY AKSED ME TO CONTACT AN HONOURABLE PERSON TO RECIEVE THSEE MONEY FOR HIM FOR A TEN PERCENT 10% FEE. (or a cup of water if you prefer.)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I will trade you fifty million Zimbabwe dollars for fifty American dollars. I would trade you this today, and laugh.
I will trade you fifty million Zimbabwe dollars for fifty American dollars. I would trade you this today, and laugh.
anticitizen
+0 -0
i was just on Craigslist for about six months straight trying to find an apartment in Boston. The thing that broke me and sent me into the over-charging arms of a proper Realtor was that twice, fucking twice , i responded to ads where motherfuckers asked me to send my deposit to a bank in Zimbabwe.
Who's still milking the "send your money to Zimbabwe" cow? I thought everyone understood and we were past that nonsense.
That filthy, filthy nonsense.
i was just on Craigslist for about six months straight trying to find an apartment in Boston. The thing that broke me and sent me into the over-charging arms of a proper Realtor was that twice, fucking twice , i responded to ads where motherfuckers asked me to send my deposit to a bank in Zimbabwe.
Who's still milking the "send your money to Zimbabwe" cow? I thought everyone understood and we were past that nonsense.
That filthy, filthy nonsense.
potatoes9000
+1 -0
If you're selling Penis Mightiers I'll order a dozen!
On the other hand Zimbabwe could really use the cash. They're out of everything except poverty.
If you're selling Penis Mightiers I'll order a dozen!
On the other hand Zimbabwe could really use the cash. They're out of everything except poverty.
anticitizen
+1 -0
Zimbabwe's chief export is the Horror.
Zimbabwe's chief export is the Horror.
purplehaze
+0 -0
I believe you refer to the Congo.
I believe you refer to the Congo.
anticitizen
+0 -0
i do (excellent call by the by) but i couldn't help myself.
you wouldn't know anything about self restraint would you Charles Manson?
i do (excellent call by the by) but i couldn't help myself.
you wouldn't know anything about self restraint would you Charles Manson?
gladi8orrex
+8 -1
if you traded zimbabwean dollars today you'd find that they use the US dollar as a base and have recently fixed their massive inflation problem and you'd actually be in massive debt i do wish you'd stay up-to-date on these issues
if you traded zimbabwean dollars today you'd find that they use the US dollar as a base and have recently fixed their massive inflation problem and you'd actually be in massive debt i do wish you'd stay up-to-date on these issues
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Gladi, hope you enjoyed your nap. Although if you think Bob at al have fixed any of their massive problems you are probably still dreaming.
Best stick to social commentary mate.
Gladi, hope you enjoyed your nap. Although if you think Bob at al have fixed any of their massive problems you are probably still dreaming.
Best stick to social commentary mate.
gladi8orrex
+4 -0
you selfrighteous son of a bitch. eerybody's a fuckin' critic, huh? well fuck u ib u fink i'ma sit here an' let you twok down 2 me, asshole.
i ain't ur li'l sister u can act smarter than an' she shuts up. bes' belive i'll fuck u up instead so back up off me grandpa
you selfrighteous son of a bitch. eerybody's a fuckin' critic, huh? well fuck u ib u fink i'ma sit here an' let you twok down 2 me, asshole.
i ain't ur li'l sister u can act smarter than an' she shuts up. bes' belive i'll fuck u up instead so back up off me grandpa
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Chubbied. Give us a kiss.
Chubbied. Give us a kiss.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
wat an asshole
wat an asshole
mr-siegal
+0 -0
mouth will do
mouth will do
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
Done
Done
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I've spent a lot of time with his little sister, and she couldn't measure up to you even a little. Also, the ZWL proper is worthless at this point. It isn't used in international trade, or even old FX forwards for quite a while. I'm told they use dollars (the merkin kind, not some goofy ass loonies or some shit) inside the country. Also the Euro, which seems to still be perforating the dollar more than I like.
Little Bobby M is doing his very best over there, he just doesn't have a good textbook to work from, and everyone keeps yelling at him.
I've spent a lot of time with his little sister, and she couldn't measure up to you even a little. Also, the ZWL proper is worthless at this point. It isn't used in international trade, or even old FX forwards for quite a while. I'm told they use dollars (the merkin kind, not some goofy ass loonies or some shit) inside the country. Also the Euro, which seems to still be perforating the dollar more than I like.
Little Bobby M is doing his very best over there, he just doesn't have a good textbook to work from, and everyone keeps yelling at him.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Bob doesn't need any textbook. He's channelling Lenin & Mao without the ideology.
I was against the Iraq adventure but you can use my taxes to get rid of Mugabe anytime. He's evil incarnate.
Bob doesn't need any textbook. He's channelling Lenin & Mao without the ideology.
I was against the Iraq adventure but you can use my taxes to get rid of Mugabe anytime. He's evil incarnate.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
(Not unique of course.)
(Not unique of course.)
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Pubic hair-piece dollars?
Pubic hair-piece dollars?
expellens
+0 -0
That nap did you good, son! I can actually understand what you wrote there, instead of having to squint sideways at your screed until it pops into focus not unlike those damnable "Magic Eye" posters.
It might be a dinosaur, or it might be a migraine ...
That nap did you good, son! I can actually understand what you wrote there, instead of having to squint sideways at your screed until it pops into focus not unlike those damnable "Magic Eye" posters.
It might be a dinosaur, or it might be a migraine ...
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
o shut teh fuuck up lik i need anymor shit. i leab 3-4 days an i get back an land in a pile of shit. wat the fuck i'll kill all of you
o shut teh fuuck up lik i need anymor shit. i leab 3-4 days an i get back an land in a pile of shit. wat the fuck i'll kill all of you
streever
+0 -0
if this is a bit you are doing the first part was amusing but it went downhill quickly.
The humor is now found in reading the people who make fun of you.
if this is a bit you are doing the first part was amusing but it went downhill quickly.
The humor is now found in reading the people who make fun of you.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
NICE THANKS 4 UR CRITICAL ANALYZIS LIKE ANYBODY GIVSE A FUCK I'M JUS' DO WAT I DO SO FUCK YOU I DON' NEEDA KNOW HOWS U LIKE UR ASSBACK TO FRONT FRONT TO BACK IDC
NICE THANKS 4 UR CRITICAL ANALYZIS LIKE ANYBODY GIVSE A FUCK I'M JUS' DO WAT I DO SO FUCK YOU I DON' NEEDA KNOW HOWS U LIKE UR ASSBACK TO FRONT FRONT TO BACK IDC
streever
+0 -0
If it is not a bit then good luck to you in life, you may need it.
If it is not a bit then good luck to you in life, you may need it.
notcool
+2 -0
I keep telling everybody - the angrier he gets, the more eloquent he is!
Eventually, he's going to mainline steroids and meth to the point that he becomes the next Hemingway. Then powerfuck an old chinese man to death and spend the rest of forever in prison.
I keep telling everybody - the angrier he gets, the more eloquent he is!
Eventually, he's going to mainline steroids and meth to the point that he becomes the next Hemingway. Then powerfuck an old chinese man to death and spend the rest of forever in prison.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Back off fellas, he's my web-mate. I'm allowed to dis him because he knows I respect him deeply. (and he doesn't know where I or my little sister live)
Back off fellas, he's my web-mate. I'm allowed to dis him because he knows I respect him deeply. (and he doesn't know where I or my little sister live)
srikamaraja
+0 -0
That last sentence is truly an Achievement, notcool.
That last sentence is truly an Achievement, notcool.
ntopp
+1 -0
V-chubbed, notcool. Sit there and bask in my fond thoughts, 'cause that's all I have to give.
V-chubbed, notcool. Sit there and bask in my fond thoughts, 'cause that's all I have to give.
notcool
+0 -0
I'll give you a chubby to pass on to the next deserving soul, ntopp.
I'll give you a chubby to pass on to the next deserving soul, ntopp.
neitherman
+0 -0
The bottom part would be a perfect Brian Regan punch line.
The bottom part would be a perfect Brian Regan punch line.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I'm increasingly certain GladiatorRex is Onstad. Eloquent, able to speak in several different 'voices' without wavering, and fanatically perfect in usage of slang, idioms, and cultural eccentricities.
I'm increasingly certain GladiatorRex is Onstad. Eloquent, able to speak in several different 'voices' without wavering, and fanatically perfect in usage of slang, idioms, and cultural eccentricities.
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Glad is more important to Achewood than Cartilage Head.
Glad is more important to Achewood than Cartilage Head.
history
+0 -0
I am very sure that at least one of the personalities on this board is Onstad. If I was laying money though, Glad would not be my first choice.
I am very sure that at least one of the personalities on this board is Onstad. If I was laying money though, Glad would not be my first choice.
edd36
+0 -0
Wait... every word here is spelled correctly, something must be wrong.
Wait... every word here is spelled correctly, something must be wrong.
sprkfv39
+0 -0
I was all set to come and make a real comment of substance about the fantastic onomatopoeia, and here I've been beaten from the first.
I was all set to come and make a real comment of substance about the fantastic onomatopoeia, and here I've been beaten from the first.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You shouldn't let that dishearten you. As of my reading, nobody has commented on exactly how awesome the sounds coming out of that plane are.
You shouldn't let that dishearten you. As of my reading, nobody has commented on exactly how awesome the sounds coming out of that plane are.
albinosquid
+10 -0
Other hastening triggers include rollerskates, self-righteous vegans.
Other hastening triggers include rollerskates, self-righteous vegans.
hamscout
+62 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
re5urgam
+0 -0
I am unsure how I am already out of chubbies to give, but please accept this v-chub. This made me laugh aloud, and the THONK was killer. Thank you.
I am unsure how I am already out of chubbies to give, but please accept this v-chub. This made me laugh aloud, and the THONK was killer. Thank you.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
You are a better man than ALL OF US.
You are a better man than ALL OF US.
plummet
+0 -0
this is a wonderful thing
Let he who lames this be SHAMED
this is a wonderful thing
Let he who lames this be SHAMED
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Hamscout: What would you do if you saw space-ships over Glasgow?
Hamscout: What would you do if you saw space-ships over Glasgow?
stereo
+0 -0
Glasgow's technology has advanced to bikes, right? Well, I'd ride a bike out into england and then hitchhike back to civilization.
Glasgow's technology has advanced to bikes, right? Well, I'd ride a bike out into england and then hitchhike back to civilization.
thesoulbear
+0 -0
V-chubbed. We are not worthy.
V-chubbed. We are not worthy.
ntopp
+0 -0
I'm V-chubbing you so hard, you may need to tell an adult. Please enjoy this complimentary steak dinner which I am forced to eat in your absence.
I'm V-chubbing you so hard, you may need to tell an adult. Please enjoy this complimentary steak dinner which I am forced to eat in your absence.
moissanite
+0 -0
Anyone ever read Ben Marcus
Anyone ever read Ben Marcus
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
Yes, I'm sure someone has.
Yes, I'm sure someone has.
bigtom
+0 -0
I know a lot of people are pretty critical of Onstad these days but I think this is the best story arc in a long time.
I know a lot of people are pretty critical of Onstad these days but I think this is the best story arc in a long time.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Fresh bark of the what?? OF THE WHAT??
Fresh bark of the what?? OF THE WHAT??
mystkmanat
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Monkey tree. MONKEY TREE!
[IMGS OFF]
Monkey tree. MONKEY TREE!
oingoboingirl
+0 -0
actually I think you can buy one of those through Skymall, so Beef should be OK.
actually I think you can buy one of those through Skymall, so Beef should be OK.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Hey. I just posted about you and how you disappeared up there. I'm sorry I implied you lived on Manflesh's digits now. I see that isn't true. It would be a sure source of many sexy weekends...
Hey. I just posted about you and how you disappeared up there. I'm sorry I implied you lived on Manflesh's digits now. I see that isn't true. It would be a sure source of many sexy weekends...
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Unless her avatar is Dr-M.
Unless her avatar is Dr-M.
daidai
+1 -0
Mr F.
Mr F.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This is N. Bluth. It's different.
Different!
This is N. Bluth. It's different.
Different!
oingoboingirl
+0 -0
the sad thing is that as soon as I read the words 'isn't true' the first thing that came to my mind was "I am not a ghost without a soul" (guess what band wrote the song that line is from)
the sad thing is that as soon as I read the words 'isn't true' the first thing that came to my mind was "I am not a ghost without a soul" (guess what band wrote the song that line is from)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Hey! Get that monkey off that tree!
Hey! Get that monkey off that tree!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Simultaneous ingestion of vinegar and chopped paper.
Lick, flip
So it goes
Simultaneous ingestion of vinegar and chopped paper.
Lick, flip
So it goes
slodowy_slicer
+0 -0
One could hope that the book was bound in leather, and that he only licked and flipped as indicated.
One could hope that the book was bound in leather, and that he only licked and flipped as indicated.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Poo-tee-weet?
Poo-tee-weet?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
make me young
etc.
[IMGS OFF]
make me young
etc.
anticitizen
+1 -0
kurt vonnegut's the only writer to ever make me cry. in Slaughterhouse when Billy is watching tv and slowly comes unstuck, sees an old war movie in reverse... the paragraph were Vonnegut's outlining bombs being dug up out of the ground and sucked into the bellies of planes, then dismantled by factory workers so they can't hurt anyone. dude, i ball like a little girl with a skinned knee every time.
because i'm an effing sissy, Internet.
kurt vonnegut's the only writer to ever make me cry. in Slaughterhouse when Billy is watching tv and slowly comes unstuck, sees an old war movie in reverse... the paragraph were Vonnegut's outlining bombs being dug up out of the ground and sucked into the bellies of planes, then dismantled by factory workers so they can't hurt anyone. dude, i ball like a little girl with a skinned knee every time.
because i'm an effing sissy, Internet.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The end of Breakfast of Champions is the heaviest, I guess you can say, a book ever got for me, maybe second to or tied with most of "Seymour: An Introduction." But cry, oh boy, no, I've never cried fo no book.
Actually, lie: I did when I read Bridge to Terabithia in 4th grade. Great book.
The end of Breakfast of Champions is the heaviest, I guess you can say, a book ever got for me, maybe second to or tied with most of "Seymour: An Introduction." But cry, oh boy, no, I've never cried fo no book.
Actually, lie: I did when I read Bridge to Terabithia in 4th grade. Great book.
anticitizen
+0 -0
yeah dude, that's a rough thing to lay on a kid. Where the Red Fern Grows was the first taste of "life sucks, motherfucker!" our generation probably got.
I haven't read Breakfast of Champions but I've heard that same sentiment from many people. And I just bought that book last week, as it were, looking forward to it. Cat's Cradle has an awesome ending but it's not particularly heavy.
yeah dude, that's a rough thing to lay on a kid. Where the Red Fern Grows was the first taste of "life sucks, motherfucker!" our generation probably got.
I haven't read Breakfast of Champions but I've heard that same sentiment from many people. And I just bought that book last week, as it were, looking forward to it. Cat's Cradle has an awesome ending but it's not particularly heavy.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I actually didn't like Cat's Cradle too much, but better than Galapagos . I have many more to read.
Also I lied again: Where The Red Fern Grows definitely came before Bridge to Terabithia in my personal history. I cried for both but none more, I don't think.
I actually didn't like Cat's Cradle too much, but better than Galapagos . I have many more to read.
Also I lied again: Where The Red Fern Grows definitely came before Bridge to Terabithia in my personal history. I cried for both but none more, I don't think.
anticitizen
+2 -0
that's a fair statement. Cat's Cradle has this really awesome sci-fi idea that Vonnegut really hits towards the end, but until then it reads as slightly lost for two hundred pages. which didn't bother me, i'd read kurt vonnegut's grocery lists if they were published. you can't hold that book up to Slaughterhouse on any level, but it's a good read, in my opinion.
that's a fair statement. Cat's Cradle has this really awesome sci-fi idea that Vonnegut really hits towards the end, but until then it reads as slightly lost for two hundred pages. which didn't bother me, i'd read kurt vonnegut's grocery lists if they were published. you can't hold that book up to Slaughterhouse on any level, but it's a good read, in my opinion.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
I feel some of his stuff gets too lost in the sci-fi. He's great at both genre fiction like that (fantasty/sci-fi whatever) but he's also one of the best satirists of his time, I think it goes without saying, and sometimes it feels like when he does both the sci-fi feels cartoonish and forced for the sake of satire. I prefer stories like BoC exactl for that reason; it's all satire and almost no sci-fi, and as a result is my favorite Vonnegut. But Slaughterhouse is probably my second favorite, and that is sci-fi heavy...or maybe it's magical realism. Whatever it is, he's great; one of my favorites.
I feel some of his stuff gets too lost in the sci-fi. He's great at both genre fiction like that (fantasty/sci-fi whatever) but he's also one of the best satirists of his time, I think it goes without saying, and sometimes it feels like when he does both the sci-fi feels cartoonish and forced for the sake of satire. I prefer stories like BoC exactl for that reason; it's all satire and almost no sci-fi, and as a result is my favorite Vonnegut. But Slaughterhouse is probably my second favorite, and that is sci-fi heavy...or maybe it's magical realism. Whatever it is, he's great; one of my favorites.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Again, very nice assessment. I'm out of chubbies (al-fucking-ready goddammit) but you get the point, sir.
Again, very nice assessment. I'm out of chubbies (al-fucking-ready goddammit) but you get the point, sir.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I gave him one for you
I gave him one for you
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And this true chubby I also accept. High fives all around.
And this true chubby I also accept. High fives all around.
philophobe
+1 -0
Sirens of Motherfucking Titan , people.
Sirens of Motherfucking Titan , people.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I've been meaning to read this, and every other book he ever wrote ever.
I've been meaning to read this, and every other book he ever wrote ever.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I do indeed get it. I accept this "virtual chubby", if you will.
I do indeed get it. I accept this "virtual chubby", if you will.
invidious
+0 -0
I agree that some of his stuff gets too lost in the sci-fi.
Which is why Slaughterhouse Five and Mother Night are his two best works. Both are heavy, brilliant works about WWII. Night might even be the better of the two. Those of you who have read only Slaughterhouse are doing yourself a great disservice by not going out and getting Mother Night immediately.
I agree that some of his stuff gets too lost in the sci-fi.
Which is why Slaughterhouse Five and Mother Night are his two best works. Both are heavy, brilliant works about WWII. Night might even be the better of the two. Those of you who have read only Slaughterhouse are doing yourself a great disservice by not going out and getting Mother Night immediately.
invidious
+0 -0
Mother Night also contains the single-greatest Vonnegut quote of all time: "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
Mother Night also contains the single-greatest Vonnegut quote of all time: "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I will read MN because I'm on a quest to read every book by every author I like. I'm dreading Ulysses and Finnegans Wake, and Gravity's Rainbow, and V., and East of Eden and The Grapes of Wrath, and...
Disclaimer: I've already heard every argument from the Assetbarbarian Literati against post-Portrait Joyce and I don't want to hear it again.
I will read MN because I'm on a quest to read every book by every author I like. I'm dreading Ulysses and Finnegans Wake, and Gravity's Rainbow, and V., and East of Eden and The Grapes of Wrath, and...
Disclaimer: I've already heard every argument from the Assetbarbarian Literati against post-Portrait Joyce and I don't want to hear it again.
invidious
+0 -0
Tackle Ulysses before Finnegan. The Wake is tough.
Grapes of Wrath is great, East of Eden is merely okay. Here's a decent review of Eden from a pretty good book review blog:
https://yossarian-lives.blogspot.com/2006/07/east-of-eden.html
Tackle Ulysses before Finnegan. The Wake is tough.
Grapes of Wrath is great, East of Eden is merely okay. Here's a decent review of Eden from a pretty good book review blog:
https://yossarian-lives.blogspot.com/2006/07/east-of-eden.html
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh of course. I don't even plan on finishing Finnegan before I'm 60 or so. Ulysses I can probably "knock off" in a year or so.
Oh of course. I don't even plan on finishing Finnegan before I'm 60 or so. Ulysses I can probably "knock off" in a year or so.
history
+0 -0
I know I'm not in the majority, but I actually like East of Eden. Sure it rambles, but those meandering threads take you places and introduce you to people. I can see why they would say it has no plot, but in my opinion that's intentional because he is writing about the life of a family. I think he is saying life has no plot. Do you have a unifying thread in your life that connects everything? Perhaps it is just that I see many people from my own life reflected there. Is it the great American novel, no, but it is still a great read.
I know I'm not in the majority, but I actually like East of Eden. Sure it rambles, but those meandering threads take you places and introduce you to people. I can see why they would say it has no plot, but in my opinion that's intentional because he is writing about the life of a family. I think he is saying life has no plot. Do you have a unifying thread in your life that connects everything? Perhaps it is just that I see many people from my own life reflected there. Is it the great American novel, no, but it is still a great read.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I haven't read it yet but I know this worked in Cannery Row , but I don't know about a 600 page book. For me at least.
I haven't read it yet but I know this worked in Cannery Row , but I don't know about a 600 page book. For me at least.
stereo
+0 -0
Expect to read 10 pages of Gravity's Rainbow a day. The book is 760 pages long. Plan accordingly.
Expect to read 10 pages of Gravity's Rainbow a day. The book is 760 pages long. Plan accordingly.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
V. is taking about 15 pages one day, 4 the next, 10 the next, none today, etc. I can't find time to read. Not that I have anything to do, I just am not reading it.
V. is taking about 15 pages one day, 4 the next, 10 the next, none today, etc. I can't find time to read. Not that I have anything to do, I just am not reading it.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
A new translation of Ulysses came out a few years ago. I don't have it with me so I can't give you any details but I'm sure some listers will know it.
Many reviewers panned it as inferior to the standard version but that might have been fear of the unfamiliar, like a cover version of your favourite song.
It would be interesting to hear from anyone who read the newer version first.
A new translation of Ulysses came out a few years ago. I don't have it with me so I can't give you any details but I'm sure some listers will know it.
Many reviewers panned it as inferior to the standard version but that might have been fear of the unfamiliar, like a cover version of your favourite song.
It would be interesting to hear from anyone who read the newer version first.
philophobe
+0 -0
Perhaps the conversation is a bit moot at this point, but I would say that although I found Gravity's Rainbow much more difficult to slog through, I liked it much better than V.
Perhaps the conversation is a bit moot at this point, but I would say that although I found Gravity's Rainbow much more difficult to slog through, I liked it much better than V.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Is it me or is that really an image of a female amputee with an eye tattood on one hip?
Is it me or is that really an image of a female amputee with an eye tattood on one hip?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
See my avicon.
See my avicon.
woodjay
+0 -0
If this ain't nice, what is?
If this ain't nice, what is?
deus
+1 -0
Rotten luck.
Rotten luck.
chalibaeus
+6 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mawk
+0 -0
are you sure that there wouldn't simply be a monogrammed notecard glued to the blank message area?
are you sure that there wouldn't simply be a monogrammed notecard glued to the blank message area?
chalibaeus
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I laughed at Panels 6 and 7. The casual read; Onstad's timing here is all kinds of subtle but still such an obvious chain-pull in the context of what's going on. *golf-clap*
I laughed at Panels 6 and 7. The casual read; Onstad's timing here is all kinds of subtle but still such an obvious chain-pull in the context of what's going on. *golf-clap*
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Agreed. Nonchalantly reading about your soon to be very public death is classic Onstad. And yes, you did "just say that," as people are so wont to snip about here, but I'm agreeing and just saying "Yes" is not exactly helpful. So I'll waste a paragraph explaining myselfksfjjfmscv,v,,,,
Agreed. Nonchalantly reading about your soon to be very public death is classic Onstad. And yes, you did "just say that," as people are so wont to snip about here, but I'm agreeing and just saying "Yes" is not exactly helpful. So I'll waste a paragraph explaining myselfksfjjfmscv,v,,,,
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
The Queue of Samsara: I always take the 20 items or less quick checkout. Even if I have more than 20.
Magreaux Doggie?
The Queue of Samsara: I always take the 20 items or less quick checkout. Even if I have more than 20.
Magreaux Doggie?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Shit. You will ignore "Magreaux Doggie?" IT DOES NOT BELONG IN THIS POST YOU DO NOT SEE IT.
I AM GETTING SLEEPY
Shit. You will ignore "Magreaux Doggie?" IT DOES NOT BELONG IN THIS POST YOU DO NOT SEE IT.
I AM GETTING SLEEPY
srikamaraja
+0 -0
It's quite allright. I couldn't sleep, took recourse to alcohol, and ended up tripleposting a quote from a Glasgowegian post-rock band.
It's quite allright. I couldn't sleep, took recourse to alcohol, and ended up tripleposting a quote from a Glasgowegian post-rock band.
mawk
+0 -0
the Queue of Samsara is nowhere near as bad if you had the foresight to purchase a FastPass%u2122 that morning.
the Queue of Samsara is nowhere near as bad if you had the foresight to purchase a FastPass%u2122 that morning.
mawk
+0 -0
I thought I would be clever and paste a trademark symbol directly after "FastPass" for that final sheen of ridiculousness. Assetbar shook its head and told in plain terms that this was not to be.
I thought I would be clever and paste a trademark symbol directly after "FastPass" for that final sheen of ridiculousness. Assetbar shook its head and told in plain terms that this was not to be.
belgand
+0 -0
If I need to have a fast pass I usually just eat a half-dozen avocados or such.
If I need to have a fast pass I usually just eat a half-dozen avocados or such.
shelbydavis
+5 -0
The Cartilage Head line of SkyMall contains such items as a hurricane lamp made from the iron of the Siberian railway, a diamond-studded wristwatch that counts down to Doomsday, and an overnight travel bag that transforms whatever is put in it to a black evening coat with tails.
The Cartilage Head line of SkyMall contains such items as a hurricane lamp made from the iron of the Siberian railway, a diamond-studded wristwatch that counts down to Doomsday, and an overnight travel bag that transforms whatever is put in it to a black evening coat with tails.
mawk
+1 -0
you do not see any of these items advertised in the catalogue until you have already bought them. as you go to swipe your credit card, the magnetic groove shreds it into fine cobwebby strands of plastic. that evening, after disembarking and returning home, you find that you had in fact left your credit card behind in one your jean pockets.
you do not see any of these items advertised in the catalogue until you have already bought them. as you go to swipe your credit card, the magnetic groove shreds it into fine cobwebby strands of plastic. that evening, after disembarking and returning home, you find that you had in fact left your credit card behind in one your jean pockets.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
The headphones on the airline are complimentary, but every channel is nothing but readings of Proust and Baudelaire in a thin, quiet voice.
The headphones on the airline are complimentary, but every channel is nothing but readings of Proust and Baudelaire in a thin, quiet voice.
mawk
+2 -0
the blankets are printed with replicas of Victorian-era woodcuts, all of which depict a family irrevocably shamed by unavoidable circumstance. the pillows whisper macabre suggestions in your ear as you sleep.
the blankets are printed with replicas of Victorian-era woodcuts, all of which depict a family irrevocably shamed by unavoidable circumstance. the pillows whisper macabre suggestions in your ear as you sleep.
anticitizen
+1 -0
...the stewardesses all just strolling up and down the aisle in a single file line, playing atonal music on the viola and sobbing softly about the fatalistic endeavor that is life.
...the stewardesses all just strolling up and down the aisle in a single file line, playing atonal music on the viola and sobbing softly about the fatalistic endeavor that is life.
xi
+0 -1
Isn't vinegar and chopped paper mainly what's in those Jack in the Crack tacos?
Isn't vinegar and chopped paper mainly what's in those Jack in the Crack tacos?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
No, Jack is a boy, so he doesn't stick paper or acids into his taco.
No, Jack is a boy, so he doesn't stick paper or acids into his taco.
galbraith
+3 -0
Fresh bark of achewood, steeped and distilled to make achewater?
Fresh bark of achewood, steeped and distilled to make achewater?
emosexy
+0 -0
I'm sorry...but I'm guessing your avatar is Anthony Hopkins? It's odd but it will blink but the eyes will move off of the face each time. Fascinating but a little scary.
I'm sorry...but I'm guessing your avatar is Anthony Hopkins? It's odd but it will blink but the eyes will move off of the face each time. Fascinating but a little scary.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Walken, young miss.
Walken, young miss.
octafish
+1 -0
Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
belgand
+0 -0
I don't think anyone doesn't have that feeling. It seems especially common and powerful while driving.
I mean, yeah, I get the reference and all, but it's also a really weirdly common feeling.
Sometimes I'll be cutting some stuff up in the kitchen and the realization that I can just cut off my fingers comes to me. It is intensely disturbing. Not because of the desire, there really isn't much, but the knowledge that it would even be possible. Fingers should not ever come off. I'm not happy realizing, grokking, that this is even something that could ever actually occur. I usually have to go and do something else to help take my mind off it.
I don't think anyone doesn't have that feeling. It seems especially common and powerful while driving.
I mean, yeah, I get the reference and all, but it's also a really weirdly common feeling.
Sometimes I'll be cutting some stuff up in the kitchen and the realization that I can just cut off my fingers comes to me. It is intensely disturbing. Not because of the desire, there really isn't much, but the knowledge that it would even be possible. Fingers should not ever come off. I'm not happy realizing, grokking, that this is even something that could ever actually occur. I usually have to go and do something else to help take my mind off it.
howl
+0 -0
what's that from, Crash? I read about a third of that and stopped because it was getting redundant. The guy is turned on by car crashes, we get it!
what's that from, Crash? I read about a third of that and stopped because it was getting redundant. The guy is turned on by car crashes, we get it!
belgand
+0 -0
Christopher Walken in Annie Hall
I'm almost amazed that I could find that precise moment on YouTube.
Christopher Walken in Annie Hall
I'm almost amazed that I could find that precise moment on YouTube.
deusoma
+1 -0
I don't really have anything to say about this one, other than I find it amusing that Beef is still wearing the stupid elephant costume.
I don't really have anything to say about this one, other than I find it amusing that Beef is still wearing the stupid elephant costume.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Chub for catching that...
Chub for catching that...
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
yeah, that was a subtle visual cue. Kinda like the key in Mulholland Drive .
not
yeah, that was a subtle visual cue. Kinda like the key in Mulholland Drive .
not
glt
+0 -0
A comment left by glt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by anticitizen, newspaperdrone, wilto, NotCool)
A comment left by glt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by anticitizen, newspaperdrone, wilto, NotCool)
anticitizen
+0 -1
i'm confused and i'm pretty sure i'm angry at this.
i'm confused and i'm pretty sure i'm angry at this.
potatoes9000
+0 -0
BOO THIS MAN
BOO THIS MAN
newspaperdrone
+0 -1
I lamed it, but I'm pretty sure this is one of those 'spam this motherfucker into oblivion' occasions.
I should have thought before I lamed.
I lamed it, but I'm pretty sure this is one of those 'spam this motherfucker into oblivion' occasions.
I should have thought before I lamed.
octafish
+0 -0
This weekend I'm going to bathe in the liquor of the monkey tree, while listening to the E.L.P. Montreal Olympics version of Fanfare for the Common Man.
This weekend I'm going to bathe in the liquor of the monkey tree, while listening to the E.L.P. Montreal Olympics version of Fanfare for the Common Man.
mattylite
+0 -0
Fanfare for the Common Cold
Fanfare for the Common Cold
choco
+0 -0
roast beef has been invited to cobaye in a very special achewood prototype episode.... 'shit get'n serious'
roast beef has been invited to cobaye in a very special achewood prototype episode.... 'shit get'n serious'
srikamaraja
+0 -0
FUCKING HINDUISM FOR THE WIN! Sorry, I was at a party.
FUCKING HINDUISM FOR THE WIN! Sorry, I was at a party.
purplehaze
+0 -0
A Hinduism party?
A Hinduism party?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
PROTECT THE WOMEN
PROTECT THE WOMEN
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Usually, the women not consumed by flame tend to run Hinduism party.
Usually, the women not consumed by flame tend to run Hinduism party.
zhankfor
+0 -0
This is probably too late for anyone to actually read, but I might need to call this the best alt text of all Achewood.
This is probably too late for anyone to actually read, but I might need to call this the best alt text of all Achewood.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Some of my personal favorites:
"Oh Man! Todd stole Ray's thong! Oh shit! Oh goddamn"
"How the fuck do I know what is happening anymore?"
"Tomorrow's recipe: chicken."
"You could run up and kick him in the shins." <- probably takes the cake
Some of my personal favorites:
"Oh Man! Todd stole Ray's thong! Oh shit! Oh goddamn"
"How the fuck do I know what is happening anymore?"
"Tomorrow's recipe: chicken."
"You could run up and kick him in the shins." <- probably takes the cake
anticitizen
+0 -0
there are a lot of wonderful ones but the one that i remember openly guffawing at was from one of the GOF strips:
"I guess you could just stomp his head until it looks like a goddamn religious icon."
there are a lot of wonderful ones but the one that i remember openly guffawing at was from one of the GOF strips:
"I guess you could just stomp his head until it looks like a goddamn religious icon."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I neglect those online because I have the book and I forget how great some of the alts on those are. Time to read them all, at 2:30 am.
I neglect those online because I have the book and I forget how great some of the alts on those are. Time to read them all, at 2:30 am.
wingspan
+1 -0
I am rather fond of "Lyle travels through the living room, agitated by drink".
I am rather fond of "Lyle travels through the living room, agitated by drink".
mawk
+0 -0
ideally, Onstad would include the alt texts in his printed anthologies by way of a Magic Eye puzzle at the end of the page.
more ideally, the comic itself would be the magic eye puzzle and in place of the alt text would be an embarrassing personal question.
ideally, Onstad would include the alt texts in his printed anthologies by way of a Magic Eye puzzle at the end of the page.
more ideally, the comic itself would be the magic eye puzzle and in place of the alt text would be an embarrassing personal question.
streever
+0 -0
Tomorrow's Recipe is my favorite, because I was actually looking forward to it.
Tomorrow's Recipe is my favorite, because I was actually looking forward to it.
wingspan
+0 -0
$3/month and look through the archives...you will no longer have to look forward to it...you will be able to look backward upon it...
$3/month and look through the archives...you will no longer have to look forward to it...you will be able to look backward upon it...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Shit, I almost forgot: "Meanwhile, Teodor scuffles out the back door and across the yard." On par with the kicking Jesus one in terms of making me laugh.
Shit, I almost forgot: "Meanwhile, Teodor scuffles out the back door and across the yard." On par with the kicking Jesus one in terms of making me laugh.
1000hz
+2 -0
My favorite has always been
"Smoking Mr. Gary's pole is so beautiful."
My favorite has always been
"Smoking Mr. Gary's pole is so beautiful."
srikamaraja
+0 -1
As the sun sets upon his aged form, and the ferry brings him inexorably towards the horizon, all of the stars slowly wink on, one by one, like fire-bugs telling each-other ancient secrets. A dog, agitated by the tossing of scraps to seemingly-stationary seagulls, approaches 1000hz, seemingly wondering what quarry the old man seeks after.
As he tears his gaze away from Infinity, he lays a single palm upon the grateful canine's pate, and whispers in a voice older than Time,
" You'll never know anything so beautiful. "
As the sun sets upon his aged form, and the ferry brings him inexorably towards the horizon, all of the stars slowly wink on, one by one, like fire-bugs telling each-other ancient secrets. A dog, agitated by the tossing of scraps to seemingly-stationary seagulls, approaches 1000hz, seemingly wondering what quarry the old man seeks after.
As he tears his gaze away from Infinity, he lays a single palm upon the grateful canine's pate, and whispers in a voice older than Time,
" You'll never know anything so beautiful. "
srikamaraja
+0 -1
seemingly.
seemingly.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
lamer
lamer
mangtastic
+0 -1
Lamest
Lamest
desert_donkey
+0 -1
lame
lame
i_love_kate
+0 -0
How could you forget the Chewbacca throwing up before prom one?
"Chewbacca's mom is all banging on the door and yelling "YOU'D BETTER NOT GET ANY ON THAT $300 DRESS DO YOU HEAR ME CHEWBACCA."
How could you forget the Chewbacca throwing up before prom one?
"Chewbacca's mom is all banging on the door and yelling "YOU'D BETTER NOT GET ANY ON THAT $300 DRESS DO YOU HEAR ME CHEWBACCA."
riazm
+0 -0
Anyone else note that the primer reads a lot like Wikipedia?
Anyone else note that the primer reads a lot like Wikipedia?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
By starting with "In palmistry" probably is what does it. Wikipedia's changed the way we all write, I guess.
::wistful::
By starting with "In palmistry" probably is what does it. Wikipedia's changed the way we all write, I guess.
::wistful::
srikamaraja
+0 -0
nice-on-water (Assetbar)
redirected from Avatar-Comment Synergy
nice-on-water (Assetbar)
redirected from Avatar-Comment Synergy
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Just imagine if I still had Beef yelling at the chicken.
Just imagine if I still had Beef yelling at the chicken.
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
The suspense is killing me. Whose fresh bark will lift the curse ?
The suspense is killing me. Whose fresh bark will lift the curse ?
aperson
+0 -0
I was gonna say well, Heartbeatzz rhymes are pretty fresh, but then I though I better check the links first.
I was gonna say well, Heartbeatzz rhymes are pretty fresh, but then I though I better check the links first.
aperson
+0 -0
I favour the 'achewood' option though.
I favour the 'achewood' option though.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
aperson! What would you do if you saw space-ships over Glasgow?
Would you fear them?
aperson! What would you do if you saw space-ships over Glasgow?
Would you fear them?
streever
+0 -0
POP QUIZ:
How many times were Mogwai referenced in todays Assetbar?
SPOILER
THE ANSWER IS 3
POP QUIZ:
How many times were Mogwai referenced in todays Assetbar?
SPOILER
THE ANSWER IS 3
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Streever, stop coming to my house.
HA NOW YOU ARE WRONG IT IS IN FACT 4 WHY DID YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING
Streever, stop coming to my house.
HA NOW YOU ARE WRONG IT IS IN FACT 4 WHY DID YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING
streever
+0 -0
APERSON IS THE WINNER
NEWSPAPERDRONE HAS LOST DUE TO THE CHEATING
APERSON IS THE WINNER
NEWSPAPERDRONE HAS LOST DUE TO THE CHEATING
singtralala
+0 -0
i know you are, but what am i?
i know you are, but what am i?
aperson
+0 -0
I answered this higher up.
I answered this higher up.
streever
+0 -0
YOU ARE THE WINNER
YOU ARE THE WINNER
aperson
+0 -0
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Ah, the curse of drunk Assetbarring. I hope this wasn't too offensive.
Are you familiar with Alice Cooper?
Ah, the curse of drunk Assetbarring. I hope this wasn't too offensive.
Are you familiar with Alice Cooper?
farqussus
+4 -0
The bark of a Magreaux dog. Caught in a table tennis ball. Crushed in the mouth.
The bark of a Magreaux dog. Caught in a table tennis ball. Crushed in the mouth.
jeffspaulding
+8 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Chubby this man. THE SUN HAS MADE A NOTE OF HIS FACE.
Chubby this man. THE SUN HAS MADE A NOTE OF HIS FACE.
deus
+0 -0
IS "fuck it" an onomatopoeia?
IS "fuck it" an onomatopoeia?
deus
+0 -0
It should be.
It should be.
mawk
+0 -0
I'm sure there has to be an exotic bird or something.
I'm sure there has to be an exotic bird or something.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Dammit! That was what I tried to erase! ^
The bark of a Magreaux Dog, it must not be allowed to articulate.
Dammit! That was what I tried to erase! ^
The bark of a Magreaux Dog, it must not be allowed to articulate.
hyetal
+0 -0
Was hoping I'd be the first to think that... Chubby for you, Mr. Lemming.
Was hoping I'd be the first to think that... Chubby for you, Mr. Lemming.
neonfreon
+0 -0
that is some serious reaction time to get your head turned back with the pamphlet only moving a couple of feet. roast beef is still a cat with a potential for A game
that is some serious reaction time to get your head turned back with the pamphlet only moving a couple of feet. roast beef is still a cat with a potential for A game
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by srikamaraja, anticitizen, Jar, newspaperdrone, puguglypress)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by srikamaraja, anticitizen, Jar, newspaperdrone, puguglypress)
cromar
+2 -1
Yeah this arc is a bit ... trying.
Yeah this arc is a bit ... trying.
desert_donkey
+1 -0
well, there's expectations coupled with the inherent trait [for normal humans] to get resolution.
would tedore have written good erotica and humiliated that sonoma dude? how would beef have done as a MC?
now we get "crapilage head" .. a creature i never got.
the drawings are good. i like the attention of the individual rivets on on the cockpit padding. is good.
he's an artist. those Great Outdoor Fight posters are great. I wish they were higher resolution so i could actually READ what is on them. i might actually get one
well, there's expectations coupled with the inherent trait [for normal humans] to get resolution.
would tedore have written good erotica and humiliated that sonoma dude? how would beef have done as a MC?
now we get "crapilage head" .. a creature i never got.
the drawings are good. i like the attention of the individual rivets on on the cockpit padding. is good.
he's an artist. those Great Outdoor Fight posters are great. I wish they were higher resolution so i could actually READ what is on them. i might actually get one
cygnusx-1
+0 -0
I was hoping this was the long awaited continuity of Roast Beef having organs from an AIBO.
I was hoping this was the long awaited continuity of Roast Beef having organs from an AIBO.
cygnusx-1
+0 -0
I mean this whole lash business seemed like it had everything to do with him having an internet connection and robot organs, but reading the excerpts from the book there, I just don't know where Onstad is going to go with this all.
I do enjoy it though.
I mean this whole lash business seemed like it had everything to do with him having an internet connection and robot organs, but reading the excerpts from the book there, I just don't know where Onstad is going to go with this all.
I do enjoy it though.
anticitizen
+0 -0
what an exquisite pun.
i came.
what an exquisite pun.
i came.
puguglypress
+0 -1
Just goes to show that some people prefer Family Guy with bigger words.
Just goes to show that some people prefer Family Guy with bigger words.
cromar
+1 -0
There's no need to resort to derision, sir.
There's no need to resort to derision, sir.
mensch
+0 -0
Slam on Family Guy outta freakin' nowhere.
Slam on Family Guy outta freakin' nowhere.
puguglypress
+1 -0
I was framed! Assetbar framed me! I was replying to desertdonkey's now-lamed complaint like ten comments above where I showed up! I WAS BEING WITTY I SWEAR
I was framed! Assetbar framed me! I was replying to desertdonkey's now-lamed complaint like ten comments above where I showed up! I WAS BEING WITTY I SWEAR
puguglypress
+1 -0
Doesn't anyone give a shit about my cry-cry face?
Doesn't anyone give a shit about my cry-cry face?
stereo
+1 -0
Nobody.
Nobody.
cromar
+0 -0
I gave you a chubby. What a cruel turn o' fate.
I gave you a chubby. What a cruel turn o' fate.
cromar
+1 -0
Good alt text.
Good alt text.
bvnichols
+1 -0
"Ohhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit!"
"Ohhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit!"
thecokehead
+0 -0
apparently when cats get their palms read, their hands become human lady hands.
apparently when cats get their palms read, their hands become human lady hands.
mawk
+0 -0
three years in veterinary school. suck it.
three years in veterinary school. suck it.
granularsilica
+0 -2
Going camping, see you all next week.
Going camping, see you all next week.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT UR CAMP CAMP TRIP
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT UR CAMP CAMP TRIP
farqussus
+0 -0
no-one gives a shit about your meme meme joke
no-one gives a shit about your meme meme joke
gehen_sie_weg
+3 -0
None one shit shit shitty shit.
From a butt.
None one shit shit shitty shit.
From a butt.
carlyle
+0 -0
FUCK GOD DAMNIT SUNOVABITCH
FUCK GOD DAMNIT SUNOVABITCH
nice-on-water
+0 -0
As far as I know, it's granularsilica's. I've only ever seen him/her post it here.
As far as I know, it's granularsilica's. I've only ever seen him/her post it here.
mawk
+0 -0
yeah, but the fact that you used "ur" intentionally made it a meme. there are rules for these things.
yeah, but the fact that you used "ur" intentionally made it a meme. there are rules for these things.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
GRANULARSILICA USED IT TOO GOD I'M JUST COPYING
GRANULARSILICA USED IT TOO GOD I'M JUST COPYING
farqussus
+0 -0
exaaaaaactllyyy
exaaaaaactllyyy
spong
+1 -0
Beef is about to be cheered up by hair lasers, enormous crossword puzzles, and whimsical all-weather resin garden sculptures of bigfoot
Beef is about to be cheered up by hair lasers, enormous crossword puzzles, and whimsical all-weather resin garden sculptures of bigfoot
edwardstark
+0 -0
I ain't think Crossword puzzles ever cheered anyone up.
I ain't think Crossword puzzles ever cheered anyone up.
octafish
+0 -0
...but, but ...they are enormous!
...but, but ...they are enormous!
srikamaraja
+0 -0
D-d-dumbo octopus? Terrifying and cute.
D-d-dumbo octopus? Terrifying and cute.
epicurus
+0 -0
Just going to jump in and say, as many other surely have, that either the book is wrong or Roast Beef doesn't really have the Lash; Roast Beef has definitely experienced the conventional afterlife - in fact that's where he met his wife. I smell trickery afoot.
Just going to jump in and say, as many other surely have, that either the book is wrong or Roast Beef doesn't really have the Lash; Roast Beef has definitely experienced the conventional afterlife - in fact that's where he met his wife. I smell trickery afoot.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Well maybe the fact that he died and came back fourteen separate times would be the unconventional bit... BUT then so has Todd. Todd has the Lash, too.
Fuck.
Well maybe the fact that he died and came back fourteen separate times would be the unconventional bit... BUT then so has Todd. Todd has the Lash, too.
Fuck.
kotoku
+0 -0
Maybe because of the whole reincarnation thing, Beef is Todd and Todd is Beef.
Bunch of Crack smoking mothers in Achewood.
Maybe because of the whole reincarnation thing, Beef is Todd and Todd is Beef.
Bunch of Crack smoking mothers in Achewood.
belgand
+0 -0
He hasn't yet died to the influence of the Lash. I think that is intended to be demonstrated by the book.
I suspect that Onstad may have written that bit in just to give us the possibility that maybe this time he's actually going to die because we've already seen quite a lot of the afterlife and it holds no more fears.
He hasn't yet died to the influence of the Lash. I think that is intended to be demonstrated by the book.
I suspect that Onstad may have written that bit in just to give us the possibility that maybe this time he's actually going to die because we've already seen quite a lot of the afterlife and it holds no more fears.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I had a trickery foot. Smelt so bad, it kept me out of Vietnam.
I had a trickery foot. Smelt so bad, it kept me out of Vietnam.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Also, like many of us, Beef has two palms. One forward, one reverse.
Also, like many of us, Beef has two palms. One forward, one reverse.
featurelessvoid
+4 -0
New Assetbarista release
I've just finished version 1.0-alpha2 of Assetbarista , my Greasemonkey script for Firefox that enhances the Assetbar user interface.
New in this release: comment previewing now works on replies . In the previous alpha, preview was supported only when posting a top-level comment.
If you've been losing the battle against BBcode and you're not averse to testing an alpha release, please try it out and let me know of any problems you find.
New Assetbarista release
I've just finished version 1.0-alpha2 of Assetbarista , my Greasemonkey script for Firefox that enhances the Assetbar user interface.
New in this release: comment previewing now works on replies . In the previous alpha, preview was supported only when posting a top-level comment.
If you've been losing the battle against BBcode and you're not averse to testing an alpha release, please try it out and let me know of any problems you find.
cromar
+0 -0
laaaast post. Good job grease monkey. That's some skills!
laaaast post. Good job grease monkey. That's some skills!
choco
+0 -0
okay asshole listen up when you click reply to a post and then you click reply to a different post without clicking 'post' or 'cancel' on the first reply, it locks the whole fucking page up!!1!1!
secondly, there is no fucking preview function. there is just post and cancel.
wait that's weird it's not locking up the pages anymore. a minute ago it was. where is the fucking preview button where is it where is it when I search the script for text 'preview' it's not found how the fuck you gonna have a preview button without that text string anywhere in the script how?
okay asshole listen up when you click reply to a post and then you click reply to a different post without clicking 'post' or 'cancel' on the first reply, it locks the whole fucking page up!!1!1!
secondly, there is no fucking preview function. there is just post and cancel.
wait that's weird it's not locking up the pages anymore. a minute ago it was. where is the fucking preview button where is it where is it when I search the script for text 'preview' it's not found how the fuck you gonna have a preview button without that text string anywhere in the script how?
choco
+0 -0
okay wait i see what I did I followed the download instructions on the web page. Quote:
HOW FUCKING IGNORANT OF ME!!!!
also I don't like that the preview button is not centered, it's all pushed to the left
.....and... after all that the preview is useless
okay wait i see what I did I followed the download instructions on the web page. Quote:
Click to install the latest stable release of Assetbarista: assetbarista-0.9.user.js
HOW FUCKING IGNORANT OF ME!!!!
also I don't like that the preview button is not centered, it's all pushed to the left
.....and... after all that the preview is useless
wingspan
+0 -0
if this thing is posted i either didn't get a preview or didn't install it right.
if this thing is posted i either didn't get a preview or didn't install it right.
wingspan
+0 -0
hmmm.....for the moment let's assume that's my fault.
hmmm.....for the moment let's assume that's my fault.
wingspan
+0 -0
Crisis averted. I guess I just didn't click hard enough the first time.
Crisis averted. I guess I just didn't click hard enough the first time.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
The Battle of BB CODE is OVER!
The Battle of BB CODE is OVER!
choco
+0 -0
sdsdcsdcsdcsd [url][something[
so how do I preview this?//?
sdsdcsdcsdcsd [url][something[
so how do I preview this?//?
choco
+0 -0
i really don't like the ^ I want a fucking line drawn down from the parent post to the reply in every instance.
i really don't like the ^ I want a fucking line drawn down from the parent post to the reply in every instance.
choco
+0 -0
it doesn't even fix the bug where replies are displayed out of order e.g. displayed first when in fact they appear further down the page for everyone else and yourself too after you refresh the page.
it doesn't even fix the bug where replies are displayed out of order e.g. displayed first when in fact they appear further down the page for everyone else and yourself too after you refresh the page.
choco
+0 -0
god how do I uninstall this dog shit it is dog shit it is making me want to piss on my laptop
god how do I uninstall this dog shit it is dog shit it is making me want to piss on my laptop
re5urgam
+0 -0
That is a really strange way to feel. I think it bothers me because you are female. (I am female also.)
That is a really strange way to feel. I think it bothers me because you are female. (I am female also.)
thegoblins
+0 -0
Sometimes a girl just has to piss on things?
Sometimes a girl just has to piss on things?
choco
+0 -0
I am a guy and girls pissing turns me on and girls talking about girls pissing turns me on
I am a guy and girls pissing turns me on and girls talking about girls pissing turns me on
re5urgam
+0 -0
That explains everything. Thank you.
I am sorry for calling you a girl - it says you're a girl when I hover on your avatar!
It is okay to wish to be a girl.
That explains everything. Thank you.
I am sorry for calling you a girl - it says you're a girl when I hover on your avatar!
It is okay to wish to be a girl.
stereo
+0 -0
It is ok to be a guy wishing to be a girl being peed on by a girl.
It is ok to be a guy wishing to be a girl being peed on by a girl.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Bruce Wayne saying that: ideal.
Bruce Wayne saying that: ideal.
wingspan
+0 -0
Bruce Wayne saying that in the Growly Batman Voice: even idealer.
Bruce Wayne saying that in the Growly Batman Voice: even idealer.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I came!
I came!
choco
+0 -0
thegoblins, I don't know if it bothers you or not but you bother me all kinda ways and I mean that in a good way
thegoblins, I don't know if it bothers you or not but you bother me all kinda ways and I mean that in a good way
mr-siegal
+0 -0
She is an unreliable witness
She is an unreliable witness
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the kitten should not be saying this.
the kitten should not be saying this.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Kittengasms are the cutest orgasms.
Kittengasms are the cutest orgasms.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yiff in hell, furfag.
just kidding, though. seriously.
yiff in hell, furfag.
just kidding, though. seriously.
belgand
+0 -0
He became Batman entirely out of frustration over not being able to get that to come together.
Oh bother. I believe I have just further inspired some terrible fanfiction.
He became Batman entirely out of frustration over not being able to get that to come together.
Oh bother. I believe I have just further inspired some terrible fanfiction.
miaou
+0 -0
Roast Beef is reading a manga. What the hell.
Roast Beef is reading a manga. What the hell.
deus
+0 -0
heh, nice perception, but he could just been drawing the endgame of turning a leaf.
heh, nice perception, but he could just been drawing the endgame of turning a leaf.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
I think Onstad got bored with all the domesticatery surrounding Beef's life and is just sort of letting that slip away so that he, Onstad, can bring out what he knows is his best work - the adventures of whatever, whenever. Maybe, we'll see...
I think Onstad got bored with all the domesticatery surrounding Beef's life and is just sort of letting that slip away so that he, Onstad, can bring out what he knows is his best work - the adventures of whatever, whenever. Maybe, we'll see...
randyleepublic
+0 -0
You gotta watch your reading matter in an open cockpit!
You gotta watch your reading matter in an open cockpit!
randyleepublic
+0 -0
The takeaway...
The takeaway...
jean-paul
+0 -1
BEST ALT-TEXT EVAH!
(Yes, I registered just to say that. Sue me.)
BEST ALT-TEXT EVAH!
(Yes, I registered just to say that. Sue me.)
epoc_jones
+0 -0
lames are more feasible.
lames are more feasible.
Dude is reading at night, in a plane, in an exposed cockpit on the way to his execution. That's focus. And Achewood, it must be said, has some of the most accurate onomatopoeia in all of language.
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, J_Burns, Cyberbob, layzerblade, Vice, blacksheepboy, Courtland, sneechles, MortisInvictus, Art-Vader, luckypyjamas, habnabit, newspaperdrone, aHatOfPig, eRiUukFJk, usversusthem, hausea, excusemesenator, campincarl, cromar)
Sounds whose names are the sound they make, like BOOM or in this case flut-tut-ut-utttt!
Oh god I am so appreciative of you knowing and explaining that and in combination with your avatar I think I might have an orgasmic seizure.
Shut up, rabbit ears.
IT BEARS SAYING TWICE
Comment left by assetbarista ignored.
Shut up, rabbit ears.
Please excuse our overmedicated friend's bad manners. He's not usually so rude.
It's just that when we sit around waiting for the promised strip we tend to get a little tense.
We understand it's in your nature to be a little untidy, what with the chewed carrot tops and little brown pellets all over the house and we don't worry to much about them. After all you don't really notice them among the pizza boxes, ashtrays and beer cans.
If you could just keep the noise down a little would really appreciate it.
Thank you,
Your friend
No no, you see, this is a Thing. He is doing a Thing because it is a Thing.
Man, why he even gotta?
The thing is I knew it was a thing but I wasn't sure if it was a real thing or some thing else so I thought if it was a real thing, him being overmedicated and all, then he might appreciate some-one supporting his proposal. Thinging it over I thing it must be a compulsive thing on OM's part so he really needs 11 to keep on doing her thing so om can respond.
GET THAT BUGS? JUST KEEP TALKING
Quiet down, darling. Words would only ruin this moment.
i'm so enthralled by that concept that i couldn't help but give you an orgasmic chubby........
Jizzinyourpants? I'm sorry. I hear it happens to everyone, although I must so I don't believe it for a second.
Must admit*? Am I drunk at 11:30 am? YES.
The onomatopoeia for deusoma's avatar:
"shaweeeeoooooweeeeoooooweeeeooooo"
[IMGS OFF]
Why did you not save everybody the trouble?
Why did you not make the background chubby green?
It was inevitable.
[IMGS OFF]
Heroic.
some of my favorite examples of onomatopoeia:
"urinary tract infection"
"google"
"teenage obesity epidemic"
"big dick"
"ball-crushing"
"onomatopoeia"
Manflesh is back??
fucking sweet
Everyone is back. They have all reincarnated and no more unfortunate beings could be found so they were required to come back as themselves.
The most tragic of afterlives.
Damn straight. I struck out AGAIN tonight, and right now I can't think of a more unfortunate being. (As an aside, I'm certianly not afriad of the fucking police right now)
What does striking out mean?
Going out and not getting laid.
I was also very, very drunk when I made that comment. Actually I was very, very drunk about six hours before that comment and had passed through into some state beyond normal drunkeness.
We all drunk assetbar at one point or another.
No, not quite all of us.
It seems whenever I get drunk I just end up weeping alone.
You weren't actually alone last time. And would it kill you to cry with your pants off?
hah, that also always happens. I have the WEEPIEST LIFE.
if you would like the full complete analogy, here it is
erhm... here it is
holy shit assetbar here it is
finally. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
Strangely enough, that's the song my (now divorced) parents first danced to.
2 out of 3 ain't bad, not Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
I hate to say this, but my parent's "song" was ACTUALLY "Never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley. I was RickRolled at the age of roughly two and a half.
every day i hear a new case for eugenics
They are wonderful people caught in the wrong time and place. The fact that one now hates the other with a vitriol normally reserved for social inconsistencies does not matter. They were married in 1980. That is a Circumstance.
Damn, it seems to me if people can just barely tolerate each other after ten years of marriage they're doing well.
I hope you planned that just to make this reference. Anything else, even an oddly appropriate joke to deal with an unfortunate set of circumstances, is somehow not good enough.
I can't quite explain it, but a manufactured issue just to make that joke is more pleasing to me than merely being quick-witted. Perhaps I am slightly too committed to my bits.
Most people are pretty committed to their bits. AH HA HA HA HA
i'm pretty committed to YOUR bits if you know what I mean
Quote:
Too all non-British readers, there is a delightful phrase in Brit-speak "naughty bits," which of course refers to our genital organs and perhaps even the female mammaries.
To all non-British readers:
Colo u r.
I'm tots not British.
Tots?
I... I made up none of this. I do not know if this makes it better or worse.
I was quite confused where you were going up to the last link. But yes, that's pretty much exactly how I meant it.
Not me.
It makes me sad that you are gone forever, Straw.
The llama's lament by Claude Bawls.
Manflesh has a strange disorder where he hears words... wait... Manflesh has a strange disorder where he sees words... fuck... Manflesh has this really weird disorder where he experiences his most pressing obsessions as word-sounds.
somehow i believe severe rectal trauma is to blame.
He has rectally-induced synesthesia? Rad.
R.I.S. affects literally, threes and threes of people every year.
Figuratively it affects many more. These people have had bad acid.
Rectally-induced acid?! It just might work!
It's more likely than you think.
Just goes to show you can't be too careful!
I am not satisfied that people don't know what an onomatopeoea is and that they don't bother to look it up ON THE FUCKING INTERNET, look you have internet access and yet you are sitting on a message board scratching your head wondering "what's such 'n such" there is unquestionably a disease inside of you.
That's the beauty of the internet. You don't have to look anything up. Just say what you think and people with nothing to do will consult magicfeet and tell you what other people think.
I... didn't mean for this to happen.
Don't be the first to post on Assetbar this holiday season!
Well I bloody well did.
Thanks for saying that before I did.
Onomatopoeia = look it up your fucking self
But deus did look it up on the internet! Inefficiently and by proxy, much as it should be.
My favorite onomatopoeia are rash and jissom. The latter is actually onomatopoeia (Somehow?) and the former is the noise my rash is making.
Is jissom the same as jism? And is your rash making noises on its own or are you molesting it with your fingernails?
Offcourse i know that, but where would the fun be in said that?
I am the king of first causes!
The powers that be have made specific effort to ensure that such mental flab is steadily adopted by the students of our public school system. They don't start out that way, but by the time they graduate from high school, a large majority are so larded. We would see the disease here much more only we are on the wing of the bell curve.
I chub you for taking a stand and thereby fighting back.
Looking at the vocabulary question from another viewpoint: when lonely people want to make converstation, well, you get the idea...
"have made", oops, make that "make".
I did have vocabulary to make a conversation.
"what" %u2014used as an interrogative expressing inquiry about the identity, nature, or value of an object or matter.
"does" -present 3d singular of do plural of doe.
"that" -the person, thing, or idea indicated, mentioned, or understood from the situation.
"mean" -to have in the mind as a purpose.
"?" -wat.
OH, i forgot the question mark... how embarrasing...
Do you think it is rad to feel purple in your anus?
It is not rad when your partner's (or partners') orgasmic moans are perceived only as the scent of fried chicken. When they caress you afterwards and all you can feel is CLANG .
From the look of her, spicyponyhead might be into feeling purple every once in a while.
We heard it's what she might be into.
and if you want me to
i'll take off my clothes for you
Quote:
Well, that explains it for me.
Everyone else has this disorder where they think manflesh is much more interesting than he really is.
This.
Farqussus has this disorder where he is jealous of manflesh's fame
Not to mention Mannfleisch, Herr Doktor.
Blucher!
Flut-tut-ut-utttt is all well and good, but the real star of the strip is "FFFFF-P'DEE-PDEE-F'PAR-SPUTSPUT-P'DRRRRRR." That's pretty much the king of onomatopoeia right there.
Chubbied for great justice.
Chris' use of onomatopoeia is pretty rad. He is clearly a fan of Don Martin - the king of onomatopoeia.
have a chubby just for making me remember back when MAD was funny...
They seem to be aware of it too. When I was reading it back in the 90s and such they still reprinted quite a lot of material from the late 60s, 70s, and 80s. Along with the Simpsons and many, many other avenues for referential humour I was given quite a solid grounding in classic and important films, television, politics... everything really, due to the fine influence of Mad's better days.
It takes a special kind of childhood/early teens to enjoy jokes about Iran-Contra almost a decade later.
A woman turning rapidly in middle of cocktail party, sticking lit cigarette on holder into man's eye: SIZZAFITZ!
Or LICK! and FLIP! in the case of Achewood. (I realize that this is probably not Onstad's intention, but it amuses me to think that in Achewood the act of licking a finger produces a sound identical to the spoken word)
That Roast Beef is a finger-licker-page-turner makes me die a little inside.
Wha, Wha, Whaaaaaaa-aaaaa...
He doesn't know how sad.
public skool failed myself too as well.
onomatopoeia? I hardly know er!
Deus hasn't learned that your vocabulary has to be as comprehensive as the dickens to roll with us.
Sorry i was busy with other areas of our compendium chiefly memorising Tom Waits lyrics.
thonk
I'm not sure if *thonk* should be a thing or if it was just topical humour that went with that one strip but I admire the timely placement nonetheless.
I see, so thats an onomatopoeia.
Ff-wupwupwupwupwup
I can no longer hold my tongue on the misapplication of the term onomatopoeia. Have waited many months for someone else to point it out, in vain. So call me a dick, but FLUT-TUT-UT-UTTTTT! is not an example of onomatopoeia. It is letters that Onstad has chosen to try to evoke a sound (in this case, the sound of a book being torn out of Beef's hands by the air rushing past the fuselage).
Call it "written sound effects" if you will, but not o'poeia. FLUT-TUT-UT-UTTTTT is not a word. OK, for some of you it has no doubt become a word: "I was at the beach trying to read the paper, and it just FLUT-TUT-UT-UTTTTTed right out of my hand!"
If Onstad had Beef say, "I ate so many bean burritos I had to poit all night" (there's a nice Don Martin sound for all you fans out there), he would be employing onomatopoeia. (not "inventing an onomatopoeia"; as far as I know, the O word cannot be used as a count noun . . . there's a better way to express this, but I haven't slept for 26 hours and my brain is not all there).
Apologies if I missed the comments session where everyone agreed to use onomatopoeia precisely as it's been used here, and all these occurrences have had a slight tinge of irony.
Way too dickish for this crowd, but you make a good point or two. "Onoma" is Greek for "name," which does imply a word, such as "buzz," rather than a sound effect, such as "ZZZZZZZZ."
As for coming up with a short version of "onomatopetic word," may I suggest "onomatopod"?